#you never even knew about each other until you met

[wosospacegirl]

I don’t even like boys - Arsenal teen! r

Summary: Reader has sex with a boy because she is confused about her sexuality but ends up having a pregnancy scare. Leah and Katie comfort her through it.

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Talks of teenage pregnancy (but she’s not pregnant!!) a little bit of good luck, baby vibes?

Masterlist here

This was based on a request! Hope you guys enjoy it.

..

The Health check day at Arsenal was awkward. The team was split into groups of three, each assigned to a general practitioner, a physiotherapist, and a gynaecologist. All the girls had to be examined by all three before returning to training, as per house rules, Y/n guessed.

Y/n, Leah, Katie, and Kyra, sat bored in the gynaecologist’s waiting room. Leah tapped her foot in frustration. “This is ridiculous. We could be training at the gym instead of waiting here,” the blonde muttered.

“You say that every season,” Katie said, rolling her eyes. The Irish woman had a small rubber ball, which she kept bouncing back and forth against the wall.

“Yeah, because every season we lose at least two hours here just so we can go inside and answer the same questions Dr. Smith always asks,” Leah grumbled. “I know she is old and all that, but she always asks me if there is a chance I could be pregnant!” The captain continued, looking at the door as if making sure Dr. Smith wouldn’t hear her.

“I’ve told her I’m just into women like twelve times already,” Leah complained.

Leah wasn’t the chattiest person around, but mate —she could talk when she was annoyed at something.

“Don’t give the woman a hard time,” Kyra said, smiling at Leah. “It’s bureaucracy, they must keep records and stuff like that. Plus, you can’t just expect Dr. Smith to remember everybody’s sexuality. Not everyone in the team is gay.”

“The kid’s right for once,” Katie agreed.

“For once?” Kyra asked, noticing the teasing. “Shut up, McCabe.”

“You might have a point, Kyra,” Leah said, turning slightly to Y/n, who hadn’t said a word since the groups arrived at the waiting room. “Why are you so quiet, Y/n?”

“Maybe because I have nothing to say?” Y/n answered sharply, rolling her eyes.

“Someone’s in a mood,” Katie said.

“Shut up,” Y/n mumbled.

“Ouch!” The young girl exclaimed as she felt Leah pinching her arm. “Why would you do that?” Y/n snapped, looking at the captain and then at the sore skin on her arm.

“Don’t be rude,” Leah warned firmly using her captain's voice.

“I’m not being rude; you guys are just annoying to be around!”

“You guys? I haven’t done anything to you?” Kyra defended herself, a pout on her face.

Y/n hadn’t been in a mood when she woke up, but her day took a turn for worse when she received a notification on her phone from her period-tracking app.

Your period is a week late

She hadn’t realized it, being too caught up with training and school to notice how her menstrual cycle was irregular. Y/n wouldn’t have to worry about it if she had stuck to her rule —not having sex with boys — but it just happened.

Y/n wasn’t sure about her sexuality yet, but she knew she liked girls more than boys. Until last month, she had never kept any type of physical intimacy with a boy before, but it all changed when she met this nice boy from her school. He was a year old and just very kind to her.

The girl wouldn’t say she was attractive to him or anything, she actually didn’t want to have sex because she was horny, or any other reason teenagers normally have sex.

She just wanted to see if she would enjoy herself or not. If she was able to like boys or just girls.

Y/n was curious.

One thing led to another and when Y/n realized she and Chris had sex with the during a very cold Saturday afternoon. After they finished, well, he finished, Y/n put on her shirt and underwear, staring at the boy sleeping in her bed.

It felt wrong.

Not because he was rude to her or bad at sex, but because he just… wasn’t a girl.

“Hey, Chris,” Y/n poked the sleeping boy. “Mate, wake up.”

“Hm?” the boy mumbled, slightly opening her eyes. “What? Is it morning already?”

“What? No, of course not, it’s been just15 minutes since we—”

“Had sex?” The boy finished her sentence, a smirk displayed on his face.

“Well—Yeah! That’s why I need you to leave,” Y/n could see the smirk disappearing from the boy’s face, disappointment settling in.

“Leave? Like… back to my house?”

“Exactly.” Y/n left the bed, looking for her pants on the floor. Where were they? She could swear she had put it on her desk chair.

As Y/n looked around, she felt Chris’s eyes on her body. She didn’t like it.

“Did I do something wrong?” Chris finally asked, sitting straight on the bed, back against the headboard. “It was my first time too, but I hope I didn’t hurt you or anything.”

Y/n’s face soften. Maybe she was being a bit rude.

“No, Chris, it was alright, I just—I don’t think I really like…boys.” Y/n confessed, finally finding her pants under her bed.

“Oh.”

“Yeah mate, I’m sorry.”

Chris left the bed and began looking for his clothes, while Y/n stood there awkwardly. She shouldn’t feel awkward in her own house. When Chris was dressed and ready to go, Y/n led him to the front door.

“This could stay between us, right?” Y/n asked softly as she opened the door to the boy, the cold winter breeze meeting her face. She was just now realizing that Chris could very much tell anyone what they did.

Even the Media.

“I—I can’t have people knowing about this… the team and the contract—” Y/n continued.

Chris gave her a sad smile. “Don’t worry, Y/n. Let’s just pretend it never happened.”

After a clumsy goodbye, Chris left, and Y/n was finally alone again. She desperately needed a shower.

And that’s how Y/n realized she was going through a pregnancy scare.

Y/n didn’t feel different, she hadn’t had any weird cravings. She hasn’t gained or lost any weight. Surely, she wasn’t pregnant. She wasn’t on any birth control, but she had made sure Chris was wearing a condom.

They were both a bit clumsy, but they had remembered to check if the condom had a hole or not before Chris threw it away. At least they’d done one thing right.

So yeah, Y/n didn’t know why she was so nervous. She didn’t have any reason to be. She followed the Sex Education’s rules to the letter… but, what if something had gone wrong? Was she even ovulating that day? She couldn’t be sure.

Y/n began biting her nails. Her teammates could sense Y/n’s tension, but they didn’t want to make the younger girl angrier than she already was — although they were all very curious about the reason for her foul mood.

After what felt like centuries, Alessia appeared in the waiting room, having just left the gynaecologist’s office. The blonde exchanged a few words with the other girls before leaving. Now Y/n just had to wait — Dr. Smith would call one of them soon.

Within minutes, the girls heard Dr. Smith’s voice through the door. “Next!” The old lady called.

Y/n probably got up too quickly from her chair, because Leah, Katie and Kyra looked at her like she was crazy. “I’ve never seen you so excited to go see Dr. Smith before,” Kyra said.

“You almost took the chair with you,” Katie added suspiciously.

“I—I just want to be one of the firsts! The last time we had check-up day, I was the last one to go,” Y/n said defensively, taking small steps towards the office.

“You were the last one because you were terrified of going to the gynaecologist,” Leah said, raising an eyebrow. “I literally had to go in with you. “

Did the older girls really need to remember everything all the time?

“I’m just a changed woman now,” Y/n sighed. “You all might see me as some kid, but I’m almost 18 —things change.” The defensiveness in Y/n voice was unmatched, so Leah just let her go without pressing any further

“Something happened to her.”

That was the last thing Y/n could hear before entering Dr. Smith’s office.

..

 After completing the physical part of the exam, Dr. Smith sat across from Y/n at her desk, her notebook open on Y/n’s medical files. Y/n couldn’t pay attention to what the old woman was typing —she was too distracted by the sight in front of her: a replica of a uterus with a baby inside.

“Darling, I’m just going to go through the same questions as always, okay,” Dr. Smith said with a smile.

Y/n answered all the questions honestly. Yes, she had bad period cramps. No, she didn’t have migraines. Yes, it bothered her to play during her period. No, the training didn’t make the cramps go worse.

Everything was fine until Dr. Smith asked:

“During your last check, up you said you weren’t sexually active, right? How about now?”

Y/n blushed, staring at the doctor in front of her. Did she really have to go through this just to play professional football?

“Hm—So about that—yes,” Y/n fumbled over her words. She scratched the back of her head nervously.

Dr. Smith remained silent, waiting for Y/n to continue, but the young girl clamped her mouth shut, looking at the walls instead.

“Yes what, darling?” asked Dr. Smith. “This is a private space; you don’t need to be embarrassed.”

Private space? As if! Y/n thought, Dr. Smith had her whole hormonal history — and now sex life — written up in her file.

“I’ve had had sex since the last time we talked.” Y/n explained, no emotions on her face. She just needed to be direct.

“Would you be okay telling me if it was with a boy or a girl?” The poor woman was really trying to get Y/n to open up— Y/n had to give her that.

“Hm—” Y/n bit her nails. “Two months ago, I was with this girl. She was my first. And then last month, I had sex with this guy, but it was only once,” Y/n explained.

“So, you’ve had two sexual partners, correct?”

“Yes, but the girl was the only one who I slept with more than once.” Y/n was going to die of embarrassment, — she was sure of it.

“Alright darling, had you had any STI test after then?”

“Yes, everything’s fine.”

“Great! That’s great. What about your period? Have you noticed any changes in your cycle after having intercourse?” Dr. Smith questioned.

Y/n stared at the women. She had to tell her.

“Well, about that,” Y/n laughed nervously. “My period is kind of late, but it’s probably nothing, right? We used condoms, and not throwing up or anything, I just have to wait, don’t I?”

For a moment, all they could hear in the office were Y/n trainers tapping the floor.

“How late are you, Y/n?” Dr. Smith asked, a frown on her face.

“A week.”

“Hm,” Dr. Smith mumbled before getting up from her chair and opening a white cabinet. The older woman held a box with a baby printed on it and handed it to Y/n

Y/n started at the pregnancy test, not wanting to take it.

“We’ll have you doing this test, okay? Just go to the bathroom and pee on it. It will take 3 to 5 minutes to get the results.”

Y/n said nothing.

“You need to do it, Y/n, I know you are scared, but we can’t be sure why your period is late if you don’t take.”

Y/n took the pregnancy test, tears in her eyes.

Before Dr. Smith could say anything, Y/n was already bolting through the office door, straight to the bathroom. She heard Leah and Katie behind her. The older women were calling for her, asking what had happened, but Y/n didn’t look back.

When she got to the bathroom, she locked herself in one of the stalls, it wasn’t long before she heard the door open. Before Leah or Katie could say anything, Y/n was already crying.

Leah and Katie looked at each other, both very worried. They didn’t know what could have possibly happened back at the gynaecologist’s office, but they were sure it was bad by the way the young girl reacted.

“Hey babe, what’s wrong?” Leah asked softly. “Did something, why are you crying?”

“I’m an idiot,” Y/n answered, her hands shaking. “I’m such a fucking idiot.”

Katie and Leah shared an apprehensive look.

“And why do you say that kid? Leah questioned, trying to get the stall to open. “Come talk to us.”

Y/n was so distressed, she just wanted to get this test done over with.

“I—I had sex with this boy from my school,” Y/n confessed, tears running down her face. “I’m not even sure why, I know I don’t like boys, but I just wanted to be sure.”

“Okay, that okay, that’s completely normal,” Katie said. “It’s that why you are crying?”

Half the Arsenal team were lesbians. They’d been Y/n’s age once and knew how confusing it is to understand one’s sexuality.

“Did the boy do something to you, Y/n?” Leah asked, her voice angry. “If he did, we can find him and go to the police—”

“It’s not that,” Y/n said through tears. “My period is late, and Dr. Smith gave me a pregnancy test, but I’m just scared to take it.”

The bathroom was silent again.

“Did you use protection?” Leah asked, breaking the silence.

“Yes,” Y/n answered through the door.

“Okay, so the odds are in your favor, yeah, kid? Go take the test, and when you’re done, we’ll be right here with you.” Leah said.

“I’m sure it’s going to be negative, babe, don’t worry, take the test, and then we’ll figure stuff out.” The Irish women added.

That’s what Y/n did. She followed the instructions written on the box and just waited. She could see Katie’s and Leah’s shadows through the door opening. Who would have thought that shadows could be comforting?

A minute passed. Then two. And then five.

Just one bright pink line.

Not pregnant.

Y/n yanked the stall door open and threw her arms around Leah and Katie, who weren’t expecting the sudden embrace. The girl felt like she could finally breathe again, her heart slowing doing as her chest relaxed against Leah and Katie’s embrace.

“I’m not fucking pregnant,” Y/n said, hugging the women tight. “I might start crying again.”

“See, we were right, nothing to worry about,” Leah patted Y/n’s back

“I told you, no drama.” Katie said playfully. “Pregnancy tests are overrated anyway.”

After Y/n calmed down, the three women went back to the waiting room. Y/n had to go back inside the gynaecologist office to tell Dr. Smith she wasn’t pregnant after all. After a few minutes, Dr. Smith let Y/n go and told advised her to use birth control or IUD is she wanted to feel more protected against any potential pregnancy.

“Oh Dr. Smith, don’t worry, now I know I don’t even like boys,” Y/n said before leaving the room.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Every Light

Summary: The reader is driving along a long stretch of highway when a mysterious stranger on a motorcycle shows up and decides to have some fun with her...

Pairing: Dean x reader

Word Count: 2,600ish

Warnings: language, implied smut

A/N: This fic takes place post 15x20 (with some canon fixes adjustments). Also, we all know (including Jensen) Every Light is 100% Dean coded, right?

____________

Your fingers tapped against the wheel with one hand, your other hand hung out the window of your car, dancing in the wind. Music blasted through the speakers of your SUV, Ramblin’ Man pouring out as you drove down the long stretch of quiet highway on the bright summer day. The barren Texas flatlands stretched for miles before you, not a single car in sight.

You let your foot go heavy on the pedal, racing across the plains, the warm wind nice across your cheeks. Driving all day from Phoenix to Austin wasn’t exactly fun, but you were in a good mood. A great mood. One of those rare moments of peace and serenity where you just felt still and whole.

You happy little bubble popped when you drove past a crossroads, a slick black motorcycle turning onto the highway behind you. Fuck. It was probably a cop. You’d been making good time too.

You sighed as it came up on you fast, tension rising in your bones as you waited for a siren, lights, something. 

The motorcycle pulled up on your side, crossing the dotted yellow line and keeping pace with you. You turned your head, getting a better view of the bike. Okay, definitely not a police officer. Not unless Texas shelled out for jet black racing bikes with no markings. The rider was in head to toe sleek black leather, tight against his body with padding built in you were sure of. You couldn’t see past his black as night tinted visor. He, and it was most definitely a he based on those shoulders, turned his head toward you before raising his hand, giving you a wave.

You raised your eyebrows behind your aviators. The rider gripped the handlebars again, starting to weave his bike left and right ever so slightly before he straightened again. You tilted your head when he lifted his right hand and signed a simple gesture. 

“Hi.”

Okay…what were the odds some crazed person knew sign language? Probably lower than average and if worst came to worst, you’d just gun it until you hit a town.

You waved back to him, the man sitting up more and returning it. Then he was leaning back even more, popping a wheelie. Your heart skipped as he tore down the highway besides you, only setting the bike down when you flailed your arm for him to get it down on the ground. He finally did so, pointing at himself and looking around when you frowned at him.

“Behave down there!” You shouted out the window, even though he’d never hear it. He simply kept driving next to you, playing as he did so, doing something even more reckless each time he got you to laugh or smile.

But eventually you were coming up on a town and the roads were about to get busier. He made a quick gesture with his hand before taking off ahead of you, getting in front of you in your lane and disappearing down the road.

“Boys,” you mumbled, trying not to think of the last thing he’d signed.

“I had fun, sweetheart. Let’s do it again sometime.”

Six Hours Later

You’d wearily made it to Austin and after a quick shower at your hotel, you headed out to grab dinner at a local bar. 

“Hi,” said a handsome man when he took a seat next to you at the crowded bar top. 

“Hi,” you said politely, returning your gaze to scanning the menu. The stranger's eyes lingered though, your head turning slightly to find a smile on his face. “Can I help you?”

“No, just funny running into you again today.” You raised an eyebrow, the man chuckling. “You do that a lot, don’t you?”

“I’ve never met you before in my life.”

“Darn it,” he said, feigning a sigh. “Here I thought I made an impression. Did I not do enough wheelies?” Then he signed, “Sweetheart,” with his hand, flashing you a wink.

Your eyes went wide, the man smirking. “You! That was completely reckless.”

“So was going a hundred down the highway, rebel,” he teased. He turned his body to face you, smiling hard. “You’re telling me I wasn’t the best part of your day?”

“You’re a menace,” you said, picking up your drink.

“And that wasn’t a denial.” He waved down the bartender, pointing at your drink and holding up two fingers. “So. You like me better as the silent mysterious type with a helmet over my face?”

You rolled your eyes, taking the new drink. “It takes more than a pretty face to win me over, babe.”

“How about a ride on it?” You blinked. 

“A ride on your…” you swallowed, the man chuckling.

“My bike. Although you are more than welcome to ride anything of mine you like,” he said. You scoffed, ignoring the fact you hadn’t been with anyone in far, far too long and here was a man handsome as sin offering himself up to you. “Alright. I pushed too far. My apologies.”

“…Why do you know sign language?” you asked.

“My sister in law is deaf. I actually just became an uncle,” he said with a proud smile. “I had to finish up some work before heading back home for good. I’m going be a firefighter actually.”

He looked so…boyish for a moment that you smiled at his genuine pride.

“Good for you,” you said. “I’m just passing through myself. My old friend just had a baby up north.”

“So what’s to stop you from cutting loose tonight? I’ll even pay for dinner like a proper gentleman.” You glanced away, the man tilting his head when your eyes darted back. “I promise to be as well or badly behaved as you want.”

You looked him up and down, the man still sporting those boots and padded pants. 

Oh fuck it. 

“I ain’t getting on the back of that bike without a helmet.” His grin turned devilish, even when you held up a finger. “Calm down, big boy. Let’s see how you last through dinner.”

“You holding on tight?” asked Dean nearly two hours later when you were on the outskirts of the city. Only Dean. Tonight was a one time thing and that meant no last names, no histories, just plain old fun.

“Yeah, why?” you asked when he chuckled beneath you.

“Cause I’m gonna blow your mind, sweetheart.” He revved the engine and took off like a bat out of hell, going faster and faster, so fast your heart was in your throat. “Here we go!”

“What are you-“ You screeched when he popped a wheelie with you on the back, setting it down after only a few seconds. “Dean!”

“More you say?” Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

“Morning,” mumbled Dean, a kiss pressed against your temple. You groggily opened your eyes, the clock flashing that it was ten. You felt him pull the sheets up over your bare back, Dean running a hand over your head. “Wake up beautiful. You need a shower before you check out.”

“Yeah,” you yawned, sitting up in bed, watching him dress. He smirked as you openly eyed his body, Dean cupping your cheeks in his hands when he finished. “One night, right?”

“You deserve better than me, Y/N. You’ll find him someday. Until then though, just know you are the best I’ve ever had.”

“You say that to all the girls,” you laughed, Dean smiling.

“Wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it,” he said, kissing you once more. “Careful driving today.”

“You too. And don’t flirt with girls like that anymore. You’ll kill yourself on that bike.”

“Only flirt with you, got it,” he said. You playfully punched his arm, Dean letting your hands linger one last moment before pulling away. “In a another life, sweetheart.”

“Bye, Dean.”

You hadn’t planned on getting such a late start to the day but your night with Dean had been worth it. In a way, you wished you’d forced the issue and gotten his number at the very least. Sure, the motorcycle ride and sex were great but he was good company, funny and silly but something grounded to him that let you know you were safe with him. Eileen was always on you about living a life more outside of hunting and now that you’d officially retired, you were about to start living it more.

Including telling her all about your wonderful hookup.

You pulled up outside a house in Lawrence in the suburbs just after seven, barely up the front steps before the front door opened and Eileen hopped out, pulling you into a big hug.

“I missed you too,” you laughed, giving her a big squeeze, holding on tight. While you’d talked, you hadn’t been able to see her in person since she came back from the dead and this reunion was long overdue. “Come on, let me see the baby.”

“He just went down for bedtime. But he will happily see you in the morning,” she said, taking your hand and dragging you inside. “We just got the grill going out back.”

“Good. I’m starving and miss your burgers,” you said, letting her have another round of hugs with you. “Well if I can’t see the babe yet, you gotta let me meet your husband.”

“You know he has a brother that’s single,” she grinned, taking you through the house and to the back deck where a very tall man worked over a grill. “Sam! Y/N’s finally here!”

“Well it’s about time,” he said, picking you up in a hug. He smiled gently as he set you down. “I’m so happy Eileen has a friend in town.”

“Maybe you guys can give me advice on how the whole retirement thing works. I’ve just been traveling around aimlessly the past few months,” you said, taking a beer when Eileen offered it.

“You’ll figure it out,” said Sam, the rumble of an engine on the street out front echoing through the yard. 

“That’ll be his very single brother,” said Eileen. You rolled your eyes. “Oh come on, he hunted too! You guys would so get along now that you’re both retired.”

“I’ve dated other hunters and it never worked out, thank you very much,” you said.

“You’re lucky I managed to grab the last bag of franks,” said an all too familiar voice. You spun around, Dean, your Dean from last night, standing right in front of you wearing jeans and a white plain t-shirt. He dropped the package of hot dogs, both of you staring at the other. 

“I told you he was good looking!” joked Eileen.

“You?” asked Dean.

“You’re Dean fucking Winchester?” you asked, raising your eyebrows.

“You’re Y/N Y/L/N, Eileen’s bestie?” You both nodded, Sam picking up the package and looking at you both like you were nuts.

“Uh, do you two know each other?” asked Sam.

“Some would say intimately,” said Dean. 

“We’ll be right back,” you said, grabbing his bicep, ignoring the strength in it as you dragged him down the steps and around the corner of the house. You stared at him, Dean running a hand through his hair. “I thought you were a fireman!”

“I’m about to start my training. I was in Phoenix, cleaning up one last job but…someone had already fixed the sigils,” he mumbled. “You?”

“Yes, me,” you said, closing your eyes, putting your hands on your hips. “I worked out of Washington mostly. Eileen asked if I would clean up a sigil on my way down here. I-I’m staying here for a bit to help with the baby while I find a place in town.”

“So you’re that friend of hers…” he trailed off, eyes darting around your face. His lips parted but no words escaped them. An unpleasant crack tore through your heart. Gone was the happy go lucky flirt from twelve hours ago. Instead a man filled with horrors beyond imagination stood before you, a desperation in his eyes that made your skin crawl. 

“You were wrong back at the hotel.” He shook off whatever thoughts were running through his mind, confusion entering the forefront of his mind. “This morning you said I deserved better than you.”

“You do,” he said without missing a beat. “I’m-”

“Dean Winchester. I’ve heard about you. We all have,” you said softly, taking one of his hands in yours. He swallowed, closing his eyes. “You deserve the world and I’m not just saying that because of last night. You more than did your part.”

“I’m not the guy from last night. I am severely fucked up-”

“Oh get in line, Winchester.” He blinked rapidly, brows furrowing. “You think you’re the only one with daddy issues and who’s died and seen the shit hunters do? No, you’re not. There’s plenty of us who have. I retired because of you. I retried because Eileen told me her friends the Winchesters saved us all and I could quit. I should quit. She told me to live my life. So you and me? We’re going to live our lives as fucked up as we are. And last night…fuck, I had fun. You had fun. I forgot about the nightmares and I think you did too. You think Eileen and your brother aren’t as screwed up as us? Of course they are but they aren’t scared to do the hard thing and move on. So why not us too? It doesn’t have to be together but-”

“Shut up,” he said, slamming his lips to yours. It was hard, rough. Something possessive underneath the surface that had you sucking in air when he pulled back, tugging your bottom lip along the way. 

“Kissing me won’t make me shut up, Winchester,” you breathed, Dean ghosting over your lips, cradling a hand against the back of your neck to keep you close. “We aren’t strangers anymore. You want more, you got to give me more.”

“You want a visitors pass to the insane asylum in my head?” he laughed dryly.

“Visitor pass? Honey, I live there, just a different ward is all.” He flashed his eyes open, green orbs hesitant. “I ain’t doing this out of the goodness of my heart. I’m screwed up too and you’re going to have to give as good as you get. I need that. You need that. So either walk away if you just want to be friends-”

“Odds are this crashes and burns,” he said. Your hands slid to his cheeks, smirking up at him. “What?”

“Good thing I got my own firefighter then.” He raised an eyebrow, smiling when you tilted your chin up. “Stealing my moves?”

“Just remembered you were warned, sweetheart.”

“We’re going to work on that self-talk.” You tiled your chin further, Dean meeting your mouth, a smile in it. For the first time in a long time, in years, you let yourself think about a future and what that looked like. Dean pulled away slowly when Sam called for you both, his thumb brushing your chin.

“I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it with some help,” he murmured, trailing his knuckles down your arm, stopping at your hand to lace your fingers together.

Yeah, the future was looking a little brighter these days.

_________________

[thebluediner]

part I

from the moment someone enters the mansion they are immediately hit with the smell of weed and the smoke. the house was lit with disco lights and some neon club lights. the house vibrated along with the bass of the music coming from the speakers. the scene was set out like a highschool party exactly like you wanted it too.

the house was located in beverley hills. the place of rich kids and nepo babies. but you weren't any of those. yes, you were rich and had some fame from your older sister charlotte, who everybody knows as charli xcx, but you were also a dj and producer . a good one at that. so the party was filled with those exact people. there were celebritues , influencers and groupies all in the same setting.

if people thought charli was wild and crazy they haven't met you at all. you were worse and really didn't even try to give any fucks. it was your birthday today and you went all out since it was your big 21.

billie, finneas and claudia made their way through the crowd of bodies and the bars filled with people taking shots and hitting on each other. their eyes eyed the group in awe and admiration of the place.

sooner or later they started coming across people they knew from the industry. they were dabbing each other up and greeting each other and if they could even hear each other they started catching up.

billie excused herself from the conversation. she was out to find charli. ever since their collab with guess they've been really good friends so much so that she was the one who even invited her here.

when billie caught eye of charli next to the booth of a dj she later realised was her fiance she headed towards them. a bunch of screams and hugs later billie was happily laughing and talking to charli.

that was when you came up to charli immediately grabbing her and embracing her in your arms and wailing about how much you love her and her fiance. you had no idea billie was even there until your sister directed your eyes her way.

you never really met billie in person no matter how many after parties you attended you just never crossed paths. you're eyes raked over her figure noticing and admiring her style. she was your type and you didn't need any more time to admit that.

"happy birthday heard you're twenty one now" billie spoke over the music reaching in closer. you smiled at her taking off your shades and leaving them up in your hair.

"and I heard you're only two years older than me...I like older women you know " you shamelessly confesee making charli burst out in laughter.

"excuse her she's high and drunk " she excuses you but the way billie looked at you told you everything you needed to know.

she had a smile playing on her lips. she was already considering you and you had to make a move while the thought still wandered around her mind.

"I'd say it even if I was sober " you lean in closer whispering it to her to make sure she hears you.

and she did. her nod along with the way her eyes checked you out confirmed everything.

"any birthday present for me " was all you had to say to solidify getting her. after all you were the birthday girl you should have anything you want right?

[hotchnersangel]

OUR PAST, PRESENT AND FOREVER

Aaron Hotchner

cw: fem!reader, wedding, crying, emotional hotch.

a/n- this one is super cute, surprise at the end but you can pretend it isn’t there if you don’t like it.

Meeting Aaron Hotchner for the very first time was like breathing fresh country air after being stuck in the city for your whole life. Though your life was arguably more chaotic after knowing him, you never doubted any part of your relationship, neither the good or the bad. You had disagreements but Aaron has never shouted at you and he never will, nor have you at him. Around each other maybe you have, but never to each other. Maybe that’s because of his understanding of your past but also due to the immense respect and love he will always have for you. He never wants to be the reason you cry. Yet, today he was the exact reason you were crying.

Your wedding day, a day you have been dreaming about since you were a little girl. You always wanted the traditional wedding dress, the big but intimate ceremony, the hundreds of thousands of flowers, the awkward and laughable dancing. You wanted and dreamt about it all.

When you met Aaron, you knew you wanted these dreams by his side. You wanted them to turn from your dreams to your shared memories, which is exactly what the day had been.

The ceremony had been indescribable, the feeling of walking down the aisle and Rossi handing you to your soon- to-be husband was overwhelming in the best way. Though, the moment those doors opened, Aaron took one glance at you and your emotions flood from your eyes and you didn’t bother wiping them, just let them fall. His smile was like no one but you had ever witnessed. Full of utter love and affection. Your vows illicited more tears from you, but Aaron was yet to cry. Close, very close he had come, but he had not shown a droplet until you stand up during the after party.

Everyone was sat round their tables and you go to make your speech following the maid of honour and groomsmen’s talks.

“If I could have your attention for a moment,” you say, everyone now looking over you, whose hand was still entwined with Aaron. “Since before Aaron and I were together, I made something hoping this day would one day come and I could finally be able to show him.” You start with a bright smile, looking down at him softly as everyone waits in anticipation.

“So here it is, the day we officially become one, this is my present to you honey.” You smile and wipe your eyes from the falling tears. “This is The Story of The Hotchner’s”

You look at Aaron who watches you place the scrapbook in front of him and he gets teary eyed, his lip wobbling as he looks up at you. He knew he chose the right one. His thoughtful, breathtaking, ethereal piece of art. His wife. The love of his life.

He stands up and pulls you into him, holding you in the tightest embrace you thought you were going to be squished. “Baby, oh my god.” He says, looking deeply into your eyes.

“I haven’t even gone through it yet.” You grin, kissing his cheek and wiping a stray tear from his eye before continuing through the book.

‘To my beloved husband, let’s us never forget our past, our present or our forever.’ Was inscribed into the first page, you’re sat down now, watching as Aaron flips to the first page.

It showed an image of you awkwardly standing behind Hotch from around three months into working at the bau, pointing at his back which was firmly behind you as you pulled a funny face to the camera. It was taken by Penelope, you remember it so vividly, she had been the one to take a lot of these photos, along with JJ. Stuck closely on that page is another image of the same few months where he was staring at you with a straight face but you were grinning at him.

Aaron looked up at you and raises an eyebrow. “Did I always look so miserable around you?” He chuckles softly.

“You did, but I knew you never disliked me. No matter how hard you tried to conceal it, I always knew.” You grin back at him and he kisses your nose. “Now carry on.”

The next page brought a photo of Aaron slightly smirking at something you said but trying to conceal it behind his mug, it was a perfect candid photo. The next was an image of you two conversing on the first press conference with the two of you. Professional and hot.

The memories continued as you slowly see a change in the dynamic of your relationship, at first it’s like you’re both there but just simply there, then you see how Aaron opens up to you slowly and starts to lose his cold front with you. Over time it’s obvious that the distance between the two of you disappears and your smiles grow ten times larger. Then, it gets to recent photos and you stop him before he can flip the page again.

“There is so much space to add more photos of our journey together but I thought today was the perfect day to share this with you.” You grin at him, fully beaming as tears kiss your cheeks. As you look at Aaron, he pulls you to sit on his lap and he looks directly at you. You notice that tears were streaming out of his glassy eyes with very little shame. You laugh at the sight and it makes the emotions bubble more in your chest and he pulls you closer to him by your waist, hugging you so tightly. He kisses your head.

“I’m so beyond in love with you. Thank you. Thank you for having the most thoughtful, generous, beautiful soul both inside and out.” He says letting tears stream down as he doesn’t bother wiping them. Not even considering hiding or getting rid of the evidence of his complete and utter devotion and appreciation of you.

“There’s one more page.” You whisper to him and he looks back at the book, you both flip the page together and it reveals a photo of a baby scan. He freezes from under you and looks at the photo, bringing the book closer to him and looking back to you. Switching his gaze between the photo and you like a tennis rally.

“Is this…”

You nod and laugh, tears falling from your eyes as he pulls you into the biggest hug ever, his hand at the back of your head as it against his chest.

“Our family.”

[nick-writes-stuff]

Ransom

Hwang In-ho x spouse!reader (gn)

summary: As much as In-ho tried to keep you a secret, a plot to overthrow and loot the compound involved holding you as ransom. The plan is unsuccessful, but your life wouldn't be the same again.

!warnings: canon-typical violence, home invasion themes, reader is injured and manhandled, hurt/comfort, implied traumatic experiences

a/n: this is probably going to be the last solo in-ho fic for a bit. i don't want to get burnt out from writing him. expect some headcanons or fics about some other characters in the future!

In-ho liked to keep you away from his work. You didn't know all of the specifics. You knew what he was doing was gruesome and shady, but you preferred to stay out of it.

A year or two after he began working as the Front Man, he had reached out to you, hoping to get some piece of his life back. You two had been close friends in your childhood up through your first year of university. You knew him and his brother well. Jun-ho would always pick on him since he thought it was obvious the two of you were pining for each other, but nothing ever came from that.

Then you drifted apart. There was no animosity between you. You talked occasionally, but you were just doing separate things in your lives. You would be lying if you said you didn't think about him every once in a while, wistfully wondering how your life would have been different if you had ever gotten the courage to ask him.

That thought made you feel guilty every time. You heard about what he was doing in his life. You knew he got married, was expecting a child with his wife, got fired for alleged bribery, lost his wife and child, then distanced himself from everyone in his life. Nothing stopped the thought from popping up, but you had never thought about acting in it.

Until you bumped into him at a coffee shop on the outskirts of Seoul years later. You didn't think much of this encounter. He had seemed nonchalant and casual that you assumed he had already cleared things up with his family.

This wasn't a chance encounter like you thought it was. Quite the contrary, as In-ho had meticulously planned it for a month in advance. It included a bit of surveillance on his end, but that was nothing out of the ordinary for his line of work. He met you there, and it felt exhilarating to finally be able to leave the mask behind for once.

You finally kept in touch with him. Your relationship only grew from that point on. Before you moved in with him, he sat you down to talk about his work and living situation. He was straightforward for the most part, but he spared you any of the extremely gory details. And you didn't run. You wanted to be there for him. Even if you were morally opposed to his line of work, you really cared about him. And it's not like you were participating.

You had lived with him for a few years before he proposed to you. Unlike every other thing he does, he didn't have a plan for it. Everything was spontaneous, and it was something you really appreciated. Not thinking about it beforehand showed that he really felt strongly about you and didn't have to think it through to convince him.

You stayed in the apartment for most of the time. You found a way to make yourself busy. Sometimes In-ho would have some random tasks for you like baking bread or making dalgona. You didn't know how that was helpful, but you didn't mind.

He was happy to have someone to return home to at the end of the day. But with that came the worry of your safety. The compound was secure, but there was always the fear in the back of his mind. You've taken self-defense courses before. You weren't helpless, but the people who could be a threat are rather unsavory people. They acted rashly and without forethought. Their unpredictability was concerning.

In-ho wanted to teach you how to use a gun, but you refused. You didn't like guns. You witnessed something traumatic that you didn't like discussing, and In-ho knew that. You at least let him show you how to check if the safety was on or off. He did insist that you carry around a stun gun, something you reluctantly agreed to.

You both had hoped you wouldn't have to use it. But sometimes things never go how you planned.

You had been straightening up when you heard the alarm start blaring. You swallowed hard, trying to calm your breathing. Panic would do nothing but make you more vulnerable.

The shrill ring of the rotary phone receiving a call shocked you more than it reasonably should have. You felt your heart stop for a second as it reverberated through the room. You shook your head at your jumpiness and walked to answer the phone.

You picked up the receiver. “You scared the shit out of me.” You said with a slight chuckle.

In-ho wasn't in a joking mood. He couldn't be right now. “Listen, there's 5 players and 2 rogue guards storming the place right now.”

Your jaw dropped. “Oh god.” You muttered, realizing the gravity of the situation. Your breathing quickened as a response.

“Stay calm, okay? You need to keep your mind sharp.” He said. He knew it was a tall order, but he was right and you knew it. His voice was level despite the pit forming in his stomach. “There's one near you. Lock the door and hide in the storage room. Get ready to catch him off guard and lock him in there, okay? I'll get to you as soon as I can.” He said quickly.

You took a deep breath. “I will. I love you.” You said.

“I love you too.” He said. His voice was softer than it was before. He tried to keep you a secret while at work. Sure, some people knew you were living with him, mostly just some of the managers, but he didn't like advertising the fact that you were someone he cared about in fear it would be used against him.

And it was being used against him. There had been a scheme brewing behind the scenes for a few years that they hadn't caught onto. A player who voted to leave and didn't come back to the games decided to make a group to infiltrate the compound and steal the money outright. If they had 45 billion Won to offer the winner, they had to have even more at their disposal. The two guards had been working there for a few years. One of them was one of the managers who knew about your presence on the island. The one who was right outside the door to the apartment.

Things started to piece together in In-ho mind as he watched the events unfold. He became suspicious of other soldiers now. He didn't think he could trust anyone to rescue you except himself. What if they were in on it? Maybe he was being paranoid, but he didn't want to risk your life. He started devising a plan to neutralize the situation, giving out orders when needed. Once everyone knew their task, he made his way toward the apartment.

-

You put down the receiver the correct way out of habit. You rushed over to the front door, trembling fingers struggling to lock the door. You flicked the lights off and entered the storage room. You flicked those lights off as well. Maneuvering the best you could in the dark, you stood beside one of the shelves with your back against the wall. You focused on the coldness you felt where you made contact with the wall. It was grounding you. Your hand gripped the stun gun in your pocket. You tried to calm your breathing, but it was still shaky.

You flinched the first time you heard a thud. It wasn't a gunshot, more of an impact. The second time, it happened you realized it was someone breaking down the door. And they seemed to have gotten in. You heard heavy footsteps pacing through the apartment.

You hoped they would think you weren't there. Maybe you took a trip outside or even to the mainland. Maybe they didn't even know you were here.

That wasn't the case. You knew it the second you heard him shout. “Come on out. I know you're here.”

You tensed up, realizing how bad of a situation you were in. You just hoped In-ho would be there soon.

You heard him opening the doors one by one, doing a sweep of the apartment. Eventually, he opened the door to the storage room. You took deep breaths trying to stay quiet. Once he walked past you, you made your exit. He noticed you before you got out. “Not so fast.” He called out.

You managed to get through the doorway and start to close the door on him. You tried shoving against him, but you were overpowered and knocked to the ground as he shoved the door open.

You gathered your bearings and started to stand up, but you noticed the weapon in his hand. A pistol. Standard issue for the managers to keep on their person.

You started breathing faster, panicking despite In-ho's words repeating in your head. Stay calm, okay? You need to keep your mind sharp. You took a deep breath as you stood up. You tried to run off, but he stopped you by shoving you into the wall.

“Sorry, but I can't let you get away.” He said mockingly while closing the distance between you. He wrapped a hand around your throat.

“What do you want?” You asked, managing to get the words out despite the circumstances.

He laughed, using his other hand to pull off his square mask and hood to reveal his sick grin. “You're going to be my golden ticket to the fortune it takes to run these games. Your husband has to have hundreds of billions of Won, and he's gonna fork it over if he doesn't want me to put a bullet in your head.” He said. He tapped the barrel of the gun against your temple. You flinched away from it, both out of fear and a reflex from the cold metal.

He was clearly deriving pleasure from watching you struggle, and it made you sick to your stomach. You couldn't breathe, both from the panic and his grip on your airway.

“You don't have to do this.” You muttered, voice hardly above a whisper.

“Oh, I know. It's nothing personal, sweetheart.” He said with a sickening sweet but mocking tone. He had a sadistic glint in his eyes.

Your vision started to blur as he spoke. You reached your trembling hand into your pocket, fumbling with the stun gun. When you got it oriented the correct way, you made your move. You held down the button and jammed it into his side.

He jerked backward, releasing the grip on your throat and the gun. You took a desperate breath as you ducked out of his hold, but he recovered from the volts quicker than you thought he would. He turned and shoved you to the ground.

“You motherfucker.” He growled. He kicked you, causing you to cry out in pain. “You're gonna regret that.” He spat.

-

In-ho was making haste to the apartment when he heard you cry out. He grimaced under the mask. He tried to calm down his own breathing, but that attempt was in vain the second he heard a gunshot.

“Fuck, no no no no no.” He muttered. He felt the panic rise within him. He didn't know what he would do if he lost you. He can't do this without you. He can't lose you. If he did, it would be all his fault. You didn't deserve this. You didn't belong in the world that he dragged you into.

Why did the universe hate him? Was he doomed to lose everyone he loved? His mother, his father, his wife and child, his brother, his mentor, and now you too. Maybe he was meant to be alone. The universe was trying to show him that, but he never learned, and now he's lost the last person who he cared about.

He quickly noticed that the door had been broken into. Whoever did this was sure of their actions.

Whoever did this was about to be killed as well. He pulled the gun from his own pocket. Part of him wanted to keep them alive and torture them, make them regret the pain they put you through. But he knew you wouldn't want that.

He braced himself for what he thought he would see when he entered the doorframe, but it wasn't what he expected.

You were sitting with your back against the wall. You held the manager's gun in your hands, still outstretched as if you were frozen in time. Your gaze looked far away. Your breathing was shallow.

The manager laid in a heap on the ground, blood beginning to pool around him from the wound.

You shot him dead.

Once In-ho assessed the situation, he was at your side almost instantly, and the black mask was discarded just as quickly. He grabbed your wrist gently, which snapped you out of your haze. You jerked away from his touch, head quickly turning to look at whoever startled you.

“Hey, hey, it's me, okay? It's just-” He started.

The second you realized it was him you wrapped your arms around him. The pistol clattered to the ground. You cried into his shoulder, letting out shuddering sobs.

He wrapped one arm around your waist while the other cradled the back of your head. His thumb gently stroked your scalp while he repeated, “It's okay. You're safe,” in a soft whisper, hoping both of you realized it was true.

His own breathing was uneven as well as he tried to keep himself calm. He wanted to be a rock for you to cling to, the calm in the storm. But he was so fucking scared himself. He thought he lost you. He thought he was going to walk in and see you dead on the ground.

So for the first time in a long time, tears ran down his face. He couldn't remember the last time he cried. It was probably when he returned from the games to learn his wife had passed. After the confrontation with Jun-ho, he didn't cry. He just shut down emotionally, distanced himself, and drank a bit too much for a few days. He had never really given himself time to process those emotions except during the recurring nightmares about the incident.

After a few minutes, you heard a voice at the door. “Sir?”

You looked up to see two triangle soldiers. You tensed up, about ready to get up and run out of the room, but In-ho's embrace tightened ever so slightly to keep you with him.

He didn't turn. He couldn't because he didn't have his mask, and he wasn't going to doom the two guards by looking at them. “Get a cleaning crew to deal with this. We'll be out of here when they arrive.” He said, keeping his tone level.

When he heard them leave, he released you from the hug. He pulled back and looked at you. “Could we move into the bedroom? Is that okay?” He asked you gently.

It took you a moment to register his words. Your gaze was directed toward him, but it seemed you were looking through him. You eventually nodded your head. He had been intending on carrying you, but you stood up using the wall to keep your balance. He noticed your grimace from the movement. He suspected you were in pain, but he didn't dwell on it now.

He grabbed your hand gingerly, leading you into the other room. He didn't even care to grab the mask, totally forgetting it as his priority shifted to you.

When you entered the room, he locked it behind you. He didn't want to be bothered by the games right now. He would get the information about the breach later. Right now, he was needed here. Plus, he thought you would feel safer knowing it was only him with you.

You sat on the edge of the bed, feet dangling to the ground. You just sat there motionless, staying into space. He looked over at you, his eyes a storm of anger and fear and worry and love. He sat next to you, an action that startled you until you realized it was still just him.

He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close to him. “It's just us in here, okay?” He said softly. He grabbed your hand in his, fidgeting with your fingers absent-mindedly. Occasionally his fingers would find their way to your pulse point as if he was subconsciously ensuring you were still alive.

He didn't know how long you both sat there like that. He didn't want to overwhelm you, so he just held you and occasionally murmured some comforting words. You could talk when you were ready.

Eventually, you broke the silence. “I didn't know what else to do.” You murmured softly. Your face was still blank, but he took some comfort in hearing your voice.

“That's okay. You did what you had to do to survive.” He said. Explaining this to you felt strange to him. It's the same words used to justify the murder in the games. Maybe his vision was clouded by his love for you, but he didn't think the games and what you just went through were comparable. It felt wrong to use those words even though by the game's logic, these two situations were both considered self-preservation. He didn't have time to go through this moral dilemma. Perhaps he would rethink all of his past decisions in the quiet of night, but right now, you needed him, and that was the most important thing to him.

After a few more moments of silence, you spoke again. “Do you want to know what happened?” You asked.

He sighed softly. “I would like to know eventually, but we don't have to talk about it now if you don't want to.” He said honestly. He didn't want to pressure you, but knowing the information would be helpful for investigating the incident and his own mental well-being. He wanted to know how he could prevent this from happening again.

You took a deep breath before beginning to speak. “He broke down the door and started looking through all the rooms. He was looking for me. I hid in the storage room, and I tried to sneak out like you said, but he was too fast and forced the door open.”

He grimaced slightly. He already assumed that the manager was there for you, but hearing it stirred an anger in his chest. “Did he say anything to you?” He asked.

You nodded. “Yeah. He said that he was going to hold me as ransom for the money.” You said in a small voice.

He stayed silent for a moment before gently cupping your face in his hand. He guided your gaze toward him. “Did he hurt you?” He asked. He tried to keep his voice gentle, but the simmering anger inside him caused his voice to be stern. He needed to know.

He felt you tense up, and that answered his question enough. You nodded slightly. “I got shoved around a bit. He tried choking me out, but I got him with the stun gun. That disarmed him and…” you trailed off, taking a deep breath before adding, “you know the rest.”

He tilted your head up slightly, dark eyes landing on the redness that would certainly turn to bruises. Physical reminders of the pain In-ho felt like he caused you by putting you in this dangerous environment.

There was that anger again. He could feel it coursing through his veins. It was wrath and hatred and fury. He wished you hadn't killed him so he could force the manager to feel at least 1000 times more pain and torture. He wanted the satisfaction of killing him slowly on his own terms.

You wanted to reassure him that you were okay. The bruises will fade with time. The lingering sense of pain where the manager's hands gripped your throat will leave. When he didn't seem to react, you sighed softly. It's time to take another approach. “If you think this is bad, you should see the other guy.” You said cheekily.

You could see it in his eyes. While he was unreadable to almost everyone, you could see his emotions clear as day. Although to be fair, you were the only one to see him without the mask. You leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I'm fine. Just a few bruises. Nothing that times won't heal,” you said. Physically, at least. This day would definitely haunt you for years, but you knew that wasn't his concern right now.

It took him a moment to register your words, but when he did, he looked down at you. Upon seeing your smirk, he couldn't stop the smile from creeping onto his face. He laughed lightly, shaking his head. “Only you could go through something like that and joke about it after.” He said.

“I just don't like seeing you upset.” You said softly.

He paused for a moment before pressing his lips to your forehead. You leaned into him. You both sat there in the intimate silence for a moment before you spoke again. “You know, I don't regret doing it.” You said. You sighed. “I didn't like doing it, but I think he got what he deserved.”

He tried not to seem surprised. He was surprised, but he didn't want you to think it was him appraising your statement negatively. He didn't have room to judge as he had an obvious reputation.

“And that's okay.” He said gently.

In a strange way, he was almost proud but not for the reason most would think. He could imagine Il-nam praising him for getting you to see the purpose of the games. Others would think he was happy to corrupt you. But honestly, that's bullshit.

He was happy that you had a reason to fight for your life. You considered yourself, your husband, and your future together more important than your personal code of ethics. He had seen how opposed to violence you were, and the fact you would act against your moral values for him was almost heartwarming.

It reminded him of himself. He did the same for his first wife. He was an upstanding police officer, but he decided to work with the people he was supposed to take down. He took loans and bribes to pay for her treatment, and he wouldn't have changed a thing. It was a testament to his devotion. His love language is acts of immorality

In-ho arranged for two nights off to spend with you. You both tried to pretend the other's nightmare hadn't woken you up. He appeared like he didn't notice your hands reach to your next and try to pry off the hands of the man in your dream. You didn't react when you felt his fingers on your pulse point as he calmed himself down. Through the next couple days, you tried to live as normally as the situation allowed. He occasionally needed to step out of the apartment to assess the state of the games and give orders. You waited for him rather impatiently. He also wanted to be with you as much as possible. It calmed both of you from the anxiety which was likely going to linger. Being here was dangerous and that was a risk you both would have to take. And you took it willingly if it meant being together.

He'd do anything for you, too. His list of misdeeds had grown more serious, so it's more accurate to say he would change his ways for the better for you. If he had to break the strict rules or if he had to leave the games behind entirely, that's fine. He'd do it in a heartbeat if you asked him to.

[hyuny-bunny]

seasons // series

part vi

summary: minho has met his competition...

warnings: MXM (?), fem reader

part v • masterlist

You quickly drag Jisung away with your hand clamped over his mouth, bringing him to the same bench you had left your things at. His words are muffled by your hand until you get him to sit down, he licks your palm trying to get your hand off his mouth causing you to shriek in disgust.

"What is wrong with you?!?"

"Me?! What about you?! What was that about!?" Han shrieks back as you settled on to the bench.

Your mind spins as you try to calm yourself. You straddle the bench turning Jisung to do the same as you look at him dead in his eyes.

"The guy I slept and went home with on saturday night is currently in Minho's dance class right now."

Jisung's eyes go wide before he lets out a loud 'WHAT?' causing you to shush him all over again,

"SHHH THEY DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER!!.... at least not yet?"

-

one hour prior

Minho walked into the dance studio seeing some of the younger members who rushed to him like eager puppies to greet their hyung. In the corner Felix talked to Jeongin as he stretched warming up. Jeongin wasn't apart of the class but would often sit in the back working on music with his headphones on or sometime assisting Minho with rewinding or slowing down music for them.

The two talked casually as they watched some of the dancers crowd Minho in awe of him.

"How come you guys never came by Saturday night? I was hoping to see you would... mostly for you know who but I still wanted to see you guys," Jeongin asked as he sat criss cross in front Felix looking at him as he stretched.

"Uh... Jisung and I got a bit sloppy towards the end of our night, Y/N ended up meeting some guy she went home with. Sorry, Innie, although she was looking forward to seeing you before she met the other guy." Felix says as he ruffles the younger boys hair.

Jeongin pouts and groans throwing himself back, he didn't necessarily have a crush on you so much as he thought you were so undeniably hot that he'd grovel on his knees if it meant you gave him a chance. He sits up on his elbows as he looks at the blonde boy who stands up.

"So who was the other guy if it wasn't Minho?" He asks as glances at Minho who was still being hounded by a few needy omega girls.

The girls had been pining for Minho all last year. Hoping he'd either take one of them on a date or at least to bed. Jeongin had overheard too many times these girls talking about what he must be like in bed and wondering what it would be like to share their heat with him. Even he knew all too well that you were the only one Minho had his sights set on but that didn't stop other omegas from trying.

He knew this year would be no different then last year had, the only thing changed was that Minho led the class.

"No one I knew, just some rando from all I could see. He was hot though, no denying that." Felix said as he started to tie his hair half up.

"What did he look like?" Jeongin asked curiously as he wondered what the lucky guy had that he didn't.

"Pretty tall, dark hair, uhh, he had a woodcut. He looked like a model I swear. I remember seeing him when we came in, he was wearing a tank top and he had a rose tattoo on his back, so hot." Felix rambled as he adjusted his hair.

"Like that guy?"

Jeongin's eyes glanced around the room landing on a guy that had come in while Minho was still being bombarded by the girls. He listened to Felix's rambling as he watched a guy with the same description walk in and to the corner shed off a hoodie showing off a black inked rose tattoo on his back. He blank several times as if his mind was playing games with him.

Felix looked up to see the same tattoo he saw that night being covered up as a t shirt was pulled over. It was him, the beautiful stranger you had told them you had the best sex of your life, right here in the flesh.

Hyunjin looked around the room seeing the blonde staring at him, he was taken aback by the pretty face. He had such elvish pixie like features. The freckles on his face, the pink pouty lips and the slim nose that came to a button. Hyunjin's gaze dropped down to the boy on the floor resting on his elbows watching with those fox like eyes framed by ginger hair.

Hyunjin started to walk towards them figuring these would likely be the best two people to befriend on the first day. The one from the floor stood tall next to the blonde who started to look a bit more familiar as he approached.

"Hi, I'm Hyunjin, I just transferred here. Do I know you? You look familar."

Hyunjin held out his hand to Felix first, his smaller warm hand grabbed Hyunjin's. Hyunjin could smell he was an omega. He smelled sweet like marshmallow and vanilla, reminding him of cookies and sweet milk. Felix looked at him wide eyed, a slight blush creeped onto his face as Hyunjin addressed him.

"H-Hi I'm Felix, welcome, um, I don't think we've actually met but you know my friend uh, Y/N..."

It was Hyunjin's turn to flush as he sheepishly smiles knowing Felix knows the invisible string that connects the two of them.

"Oh right! Well it's nice to formally meet you then I.." He trails off with a sheepish smile.

Felix can't help but admire the way his eyes disappear as he smiles. Jeongin clears his throat as he's annoyed by the how stupidly handsome this guy is and how Felix has completely folded,

"Sorry, Hyunjin this is Jeongin, he's also a friend of Y/N..."

Jeongin shook Hyunjin's hand firmly, irritated by his perfect face and the way his eyes kept flickering back to Felix.

"So do you know who the dance captain is here? I was hoping to introduce myself before the class started." Hyunjin asked glancing around the room.

"Uh, uh he's a bit occupied right know but uh... one second, sorry." Felix said as he dragged Jeongin away.

"What do we do?!" Felix whisper shouts to Jeongin with big pleading eyes.

"We pull the fire alarm and clear out the room."

"No! Minho can't find out that this is the guy! What if we just keep them separated for as long as we can?"

"Too late," Jeongin says as he watches Minho talking to Hyunjin, shaking his hand. They seemingly get along well... for now. Felix gulps praying that for the next 2 hours they don't find the common ground that both know you.

Minho calls Felix over, his heart drops as he walks over carefully, while Jeongin takes up residency at the counter in back with their music equipment sitting back watch like a giddy kid. He pulls out his phone to text the group chat he has with Chan, Han, and Changbin to tell them the exciting news.

"Felix, this is Hyunjin, show him the ropes for today will you?" Minho asks patting Hyunjin's shoulder. Felix nods silently, causing Minho to laugh at as his reaction. "Relax, it's just the first day back, you're gonna be a great co-captain."

Felix's eyes go wide "Hyung! Really!? I'm your co-captain!?" Minho laughs as he walks over to Jeongin to set up the music.

For the next hour or so, Jeongin relays everything to Chan and Changbin as Jisung seems to be either ignoring or not reading his messages. He keeps track of the music as Minho leads the class, watching the way Hyunjin interacts with Minho seemingly oblivious to fact that share a common interest, you. Jeongin sees the moment you arrive outside the dance room taking up space on a bench. He watches you pull out a book to start reading.

Felix stands to the left of Minho to Hyunjin right beside him at the front of the class. Many of the other dancers were impressed by how fluid and in control Hyunjin was of his body. He was up there in the best of the class with Felix and even Minho. Felix noticed the way the other omegas were already deciding to set their sights on the new eye candy.

He couldn't help find himself tinge with jealous as he watched their eyes grow hungry with every movement from Hyunjin. Had it not be for the fact that you had already seemed interested in Hyunjin, he would have sought after him. Felix respected his friendship with you to even entertain the idea. Felix's eyes drift to the door way as they take a small break, seeing Jisung approaching, waving excitedly, he also sees you running at full speed towards Jisung.

oh no! he thinks to himself.

Jisung is barely able to announce the first few letters of your name as your hand claps over Jisung mouth. You turn frantically towards the two boys who watch you with grins on their face, waving in your direction as you pull Jisung away. That's when it Minho turns to Hyunjin confused.

"You know Y/N?" Minho asks naively

"Yeah! We met saturday night. First friend, I've made here." Hyunjin says sheepishly with a slight flush as he scratches at his neck, Minhos smile drops from his face.

"Saturday?"

"Yeah, at this place called.. Layla's!"

Felix freezes in place as he watches Minho connect the dots, Hyunjin stands there a bit clueless before he's dragged away to grab water as. Minho walks towards the dance room door to see you in the hallway panicking to Jisung, looking frantic and worried until your eyes lock on each others.

"Did I say something? Does he not like her?" Hyunjin asks confused and worried that he's created an enemy as Minho seemingly drinks his own water aggressively.

Jeongin laughs as he saunters to Hyunjin and Felix.

"It's what you didn't say. Y/N is Minhos longtime best friend... and longtime crush."

The realization clicks now. Hyunjin is met with a nasty glare as his eyes meet Minho's. Something tells him he should be afraid but the other part of him... takes this as challenge.

part vii

[dehlizalah]

Phantom Touch

namgyu x f!reader

𖦹 tags: Slow burn, angst, heavy teasing, toxic relationship (ish), fwb,drugs, alcohol, situationship, descriptions of sexual activity but not really smut (yet)

𖦹 Word count: 4113

𖦹 Part three of Phantom Touch | Part one Part two

Namgyu becoming a little more softer in this one :)) We would cheer !!

You told yourself you were just being paranoid, that Namgyu was probably so shitfaced that he wouldn’t have even been able to distinguish your face. You leaned into the stranger, letting him kiss your cold body. You clench your jaw, trying to snap out of it. Your hands ache. A slow pulsing burn that itches far deep into your bones, something inside of you that is crawling to get out.

It’s the kind of pain that isn’t physical—not really. It’s something else, something worse. A muscle memory of a touch you shouldn’t miss. A phantom sensation of hands that aren’t there but might as well be.

You continued to entertain the man, until you felt a vibration in your bag, which was perched next to you. “One second,” you said abruptly as the man crawled off of you. You unsteadily reach from your bag to your phone, the warmth of the strangers touch still lingering. The vibration lasted about two beeps. Sliding your phone out, your eyes flickered through the screen.

2 New Messages

You knew who it was going to be. The thought of it makes your stomach churn. For a slight moment, you hesitated to even unlock your phone, your heart clenching strongly. You opened it, pleading that it wasn’t him.

You read the message and your heart stopped.

Namgyu: ‘Didn’t expect to see you here. lol’

Namgyu: ‘You good?’

That was it? Namgyu was normally a dry texter but this.. This felt like a taunt. A tease almost. No mention of what you were doing, no possessive digs as he used to, no sly remarks about the handprints the stranger left on your thighs.

lol. The single, meaningless addition made your stomach do cartwheels. He was trying to keep it light, acting like it was some coincidence. He acted as if you both had just randomly met in the streets, glancing at each other. No, he saw you do the things that he once did with you, with a man you had never even met before.

There was no changing the fact that you let a stranger touch you all over, that wasn’t even remotely the worst part. The worst part was namgyu, who watched every single second of it. He had seen you, the way your body reacted to a stranger roam your body, the way his lips hovered over your skin.

A lump formed in your throat. A mix of emotions flooded your mind. You should be angry, you wanted to be angry. The only emotion that you could seem to focus on was that familiar ache; the one that came from years of yearing and false love.

Your hands started to sweat, coating your body in a thin layer of unease. A clammy heat pulsated through your body, your fingers clenching the screen, unable to move.

The stranger next to you gently touched your thigh “Is everything good? You seem really sketched out right now.”

“Sorry i have to-“ Without finishing your sentence, you grabbed your bag stood up, looking for the bathrooms.

You pushed through the sea of bodies, the lights flickering on beat. The music floods the club, your head throbbing as you try to swim your way out. Your hands were still trembling, gripping onto your bag, like it was the last thing keeping your grounded, two feet on the floor.

You slipped into the bathroom, locking the single toilet, desperately trying to catch your breath. Leaning against the sink, gripping the edges so hard your knuckles become red.

Get a grip.

Seriously, you needed to get your shit together.

Exhaling sharply you looked into the mirror, barely even recognizing the person reflecting from you. Smudged eyeliner, your lips were slightly parted; lipgloss barely even on.

Your fingers trembled as you reached for a paper towel, tapping the towel on your skin. No matter how many deep breaths you took, the tightness in your chest refused to leave. It wasn't just the alcohol-it was him. Always him.

You told yourself you knew better than this.

You knew that namgyu enjoyed this, seeing you get all flustered at the thought of him. He likes the sense of power he gets from it. The possession. He likes having a hold on you.

Your phone buzzed again.

Dread slowly filling you up.

You squeezed you eyes shut for a second before forcing your self to look at your phone, opening the message.

Namgyu: ‘Didn’t take you for a club girl. Well, not anymore, at least. Guess old habits die hard. lol.’

Your jaw tightened. There it was again - that lol. You were convinced that he did on purpose, throwing it in like a careless shrug. To him this was funny, it had little to no significance to him, just like you had no significance to him either.

"Old habits die hard."

What did he think he was? Some all-knowing god, watching from above, smugly amused at your attempts to move on? As if he had you all figured out, like no matter how far you tried to run, you'd always come crawling back.

Like he wasn't the one who started the habit in the first place. Like he wasn’t the one who would beg to smoke together, like he wasn’t the one who took you to the club for the first time.

It was completely and utterly infuriating.

Your fingers violently curved around the phone, fighting the urge to say something sharp, something to hurt him like he hurt you. Something to cut a deep scar in him. But no, this is exactly what you thought he wanted. He wanted you to bite, he wanted you to be the one to crack first, to prove that even after everything that happened, you would always come back.

You really did fight the urge to say something, but your fingers had a mind of their own, the alcohol slurring from your mind to your fingers.

You: ‘Didn’t know you cared. Don’t worry, you don’t have to.’

The moment you sent the text, the read receipt popped up almost instantly. Of course, he saw it right away.

You watched the three dots appear, then disappear, like he almost didn't bother responding at all. Then-

Namgyu: ‘Didn’t say i did.’

So typical. This is exactly what you imagined him to say. Dismissing you with as little effort as humanly possible.

Your fingers twitched over the keyboard, the words practically clawing their way out. Fine.

If he wanted to be a dick, you could match him. After all, leaving him was all about making him feel how you felt, right? to make him suffer; even if it was a small fraction of what you felt.

You: ‘Right. You just text every random girl you've fucked in the middle of the night for fun? Damn, must be exhausting.’

Sent. Delivered. Read.

You hoped this would give you some leverage. You hoped that he would actually think for once, think about his real feelings.

And then-

Namgyu: ‘You think you're special?’

Namgyu: ‘Lmao.’

Namgyu: ‘Hate to break it to you.’

Namgyu: ‘You're not the first.’

Namgyu: ‘You're not the last.’

Namgyu: ‘Don't make this deeper than it is.’

All of the messages came in one rapid burst, leaving him little room to even breathe yet think about what he was saying. It was subtle, and maybe you were reading into it too much, but you knew what this meant: frustration. Frustration. Namgyu acts all erratic when he doesn’t get what he wants. He probably did a line of coke before texting you, hence the reckless behavior.

You let out a soft chuckle, this was funny. He acted like you were nothing to him, just another saved contact on his phone, yet here he was; blurting out the first thing that came to his mind.

Should you even bother responding? Maybe you should have let him drown in his words. This was too much of an opportunity to miss. If he wanted to play the game, why don’t you?

You: ‘Funny. You act like you don't care, but you're the one blowing up my phone.’

You: ‘What's wrong? Not enough coke in the world to make me go away?’

You: ‘Must suck.’

Read.

The silence on your screen sent wavelengths, that was all you needed to know. You had finally got under his skin. You thew away the paper towel that you used to wipe yourself down, and was met with another vibration off your phone again.

Namgyu: Hope he fucks you better than i did. Shouldn’t be hard right? You looked real desperate out there.

For a slight moment, you stood still, his words impairing your vision. A slow feeling of heat crawled up your spine, clamping onto your sides.

He was pissed.

Not in the usual way, where he would act like he didn’t care, dismissing everything you had to say while he rolled his eyes, pushing his long hair back. No, this was different, it had gotten ugly really quickly.

That’s what he saw out there? He saw you as desperate?

Your fingers curled around your phone so tight your knuckles ached. It would be easy to snap back, to give him what he wanted — anger, frustration, proof that he still had a hold on you.

But no. Not this time.

You: ‘You can see from those VIP rooms, can’t you?’

You: ‘Must be nice having such a perfect view, should i send you a video?’

Read.

You unlock the bathroom, strutting into the club. You came out a different person than before. The girl that looked in the mirror, crying, gasping for air was no longer seen. Without further hesitation, you walk up to the bar, and order two shots. Anything strong.

While waiting for the shots, your phone buzzed in your bag once again. Damn.. how much of your time does he need?

Curiously, you check the notification and just as you expected, it was namgyu.

Namgyu: ‘So this is what you do when i’m not around?’

Namgyu: ‘Didn’t know you were that desperate.’

A slight chuckle came out from your mouth. Not around? How contradicting. You knew he was watching from those vip areas, it was inevitable. You hoped he saw you laugh, you hoped it stung. You swiped away from the text, deliberately ignoring it and put your phone back in your bag. Sliding off the chair, you took the two shots and started to look around.

You gaze your eyes up to the vip rooms before looking back into the corner you were sat at, the stranger still surprisingly still there. His eyes flick over to you; laced with curiosity. Kneeling down to the table, you slide the shot his way and smiled brightly.

“Consider this… an apology.” you say softly, trying to get on the man’s good side. “For leaving you hanging” You continued.

He laughed taking the shot and signaling you to clink glasses. “Cheers!” You both say laughingly.

Whilst you and the man were having a good time, conversely, namgyu was loosing his temper. Insanely quick.

As you laugh with the stranger, you feel the weight of a gaze burning into your skin. You don't need to look up to know exactly who it belongs to.

Your phone buzzes again. You take your time, dragging your fingers along the rim of your empty glass before finally checking the message.

Namgyu: ‘Keep playing with me.’

Namgyu: ‘You really think he wants you?’

He’s starting to unravel, his raw feeling starting to show. You tilt your head, focusing up to the vip rooms, looking through the slightly steamed windows. Even with the dim lighting you can still make up a long slender figure, he looked stiff. Angry.

You smiled one more time looking up at him before focusing back on the stranger, leaning in enough to close the small gap between each other. Your draw your fingers up his arms, letting out a small giggle.

As the next song plays, you pick up your phone and start to type.

You: ‘I don’t know… He seems quite interested.. in me.’

You: ‘Maybe i’ll let him find out what you couldn’t.’

Read.

He had practically been glued to your messages, waiting for anything. He read it almost immediately again. It feel like the energy had shifted. The air feels more tighter, it’s subtle, quiet but definitely there.

You can feel namgyus eyes follow your every move, beaming into your skin like lasers. You couldn’t see his expression from up there, but you didn’t need to.

The stranger starts to catch on, he notices the shift in your moods, how you were extremely anxious before now you look like your on top of the world.

He leans forward, tilting his head trying to read your expression. “So.. i don’t mean to sound rude or anything, but before you didn’t really seem like this place was… you know.. your scene.”

You dragged your fingers around the rim of your glass, trying to resist smiling.

“That’s funny, someone just told me that.”

You felt amused. Even a random stranger could tell the difference, that meant namgyu definitely had. It would make him itch, grip onto the table in pure frustration. Exactly what you wanted.

Once again, you are met with a vibration of the phone. Do you even need to check? You already know— it’s going to be him. You try to hold the pure enjoyment you get out of this, it was euphoric. You were finally getting what you wanted.

Namgyu: ‘Stop.’

Namgyu: ‘You don't even like him. What are you trying to prove?’

Namgyu: ‘We both know you'd rather be here

—with me. So quit wasting time.’

The vulnerability was practically seeping out through these texts, of course, he couldn’t just ask for you. He had to act like you’d eventually come crawling, like you were already his. How pathetic.

You tap the glass of your drink, once again glancing at the vip section. You know he’s there, watching this mess unravel, one by one.

You softly grabbed the strangers collar, letting out a laugh, dragging your fingers on his cheeks, ruffling his hair. Namgyu loved it when you did that to him, how you twirled his hair around your fingers and brushed your soft fingertips against his face.

The stranger is saying something— laughing, but you can’t seem to focus on that. You’re focusing on tracing the exact places you once did with him, twirling his hair nice and softly, making him tingle. You keep your touch slow, calculated.

You were touching him, lovingly. But it wasn’t for the stranger, it was for him.

Namgyu.

Another buzz.

Namgyu: ‘You really think that man cares ?’

Namgyu: ‘Men only want sex, don’t be a fool’

Namgyu: ‘He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get you like i do.’

You brush your hands through your hair, then softly dragging your nails against the man’s jaw, just to be petty.

Another buzz.

Namgyu: ‘Look at him, he’s practically stiff.’

Namgyu: ‘Your weirding the poor guy out.’

Namgyu: ‘Quit the act, just come up here.’

The entitlement radiates through the phone, but behind the phone, you could practically taste his jealousy.

You smirked, letting his words marinate, no response for him. You climbed up the stranger and sat on his lap, facing toward him. The stranger held onto your waist, pulling you in as he layed a sloppy drunk kiss on your lips.

You still felt the weight of namgyus stare, pressing you down. You felt electric, this is the best dopamine rush you’ve experienced in a while; the same feeling you once felt when namgyus hands were on you, it had come back. The idea of him watching was lighting a spark in your head.

You slowly and sensually started to move your hips back and forth on the man’s lap, your mouth slightly parted with a small smirk. The strangers grip tightened, his hands lazily moving up and down your waist. Your mind is elsewhere, on him, who were stood behind the glass of those VIP rooms.

Another buzz.

You climbed off the man’s lap, wiping his spit off your lips. Glancing at your phone, you tell him you’re going to get more drinks and walk over to the bar.

As you step away, the air becomes more tense. The thrill of being watched lingers through your skin, the weight of namgyus stare pressing deeply into you.

Sliding yourself onto the chair, you order another drink, as you wait you unlock your phone.

Then you finally look.

Namgyu: ‘That was for me, wasn’t it?’

Namgyu: ‘Just say it didn’t mean anything.’

Namgyu: ‘Lie to me.’

Lie to me. Lie to me? A three word sentence, so easy to understand. But it wasn’t that, it was the intent you couldn’t quite grasp. It would be so easy for you to lie to him. The weight of his stare felt like volumes, the way he watches, it makes your chest tighten.

You can barely make up your reflection in the phone, Flushed skin, lips once again parted, slightly shaking. His presence felt like a ghost. So far away, yet so meaningful.

Your bartender slides the drink to you, but you hadn’t even noticed. You were too spaced out. You exhale, thinking about how you reply to this.

Your fingers anxiously hover over the screen, hesitating every word that you type.

Tell me to stop.

Before you hit send, a slender like shadow falls over you.

The atmosphere shifts once again, that familiar sent of cheap musky cologne mixed with cigarettes formed behind you. The hairs at the back of your head stood.

And then—

A hand.

Long slender fingers decorated with chunky silver rings tap your hand. Your breath stutters, phone slipping into your pressed together thighs.

“You’re taking too long.”

Namgyu.

His tone is different to what you once heard. The raspy voice he would holler down your ears as you cried, begging for an answer.

‘Why don’t you love me?’

The phrase you once said repeatedly echoed through your mind, the memories once shared with him, the nights you spent shouting his name.

It had only been a week or so since you last talked, so why did it feel like it had been an eternity? Why did it feel like you had glued together the missing piece, after searching for ages?

The room feels smaller, like you were trapped; The music felt distant, it muffled behind the sound of your own heartbeat, pumping out of your chest.

He kept his fingers hovering over you hands, gently; but it felt as if he hesitated, like he doesn’t know whether to pull you in or push away.

That was Namgyus whole deal. He never knew what he wanted.

One moment, he was lighting up a joint sat on your mouth, smirking as he flicked the lighter. The next moment, he sat at his desk beside his bed, acting like the history you two had shared the night before was all a myth, nothing but a piece of fiction.

You swallowed hard as he reached for the phone you had dropped, due to his presence. He grazed his fingers between your thighs, gripping the phone, unlocked.

Tell me to stop

He swiftly takes the seat next to you, tapping is fingers on the desk, holding the phone in the other.

“You wanted me to see that?” His voice became small, a little cocky but he had held back. “Or was it just for you?”

You gripped both of your thighs and held strongly, frustratedly. The aching pain of anxiety pulsated though your palms. You need to push him away, now. It’ll never happen if you don’t do it now.

His eyes are stuck to you, like he’s too afraid to blink. He was filled with such emotion, it was almost indescribable.

Yearning? Desperation? Possession?

You can’t read him, even namgyu can’t read himself, right now.

His fingers linger against your wrist, his thumb barely touching over your pulse. He feels it-how fast it's racing, how much this moment is getting to you. And he likes it.

"You should've picked a better actor."

His lips curl into something smug, but his voice betrays him-low, strained, aching.

"He touched you like he didn't know what to do with you."

You swallow, trying to steady yourself. "And you think you do?"

His grip tightens. "I know I do."

His words were real, true. It was embarrassing. You urged yourself to become a better person, run away from things that hurt you, people that hurt you. But here you are, heart racing to the same man that you swore you’d never run back to.

It’s humiliating, how you fold to him every, single, time. His presence strips away every single part of resistance that you worked so hard to build.

Sure, the act earlier on was real, it was how you truely felt; this emotion now, it’s raw. A soft touch. Your heart is pounding — pulsating loudly. Not from fear, not from anger, but from something much worse. Incredibly worse.

Need.

Namgyu keeps his dark eyes upon you. His eyes were endless, like the space between stars in the dark nights sky. They held something desirable, heavy emotion, and something dangerously close to desperation.

His lips parted, as if he wanted to blurt something out, one last jab before you cave in. He hesitates, Maybe because he knows you already know the truth just as much as he does.

You’re not running away.

Not really.

Your running away from your emotion, that deep feeling of dread that lingers apon your ever morning after spending the night with him.

He lets out a soft exhale, his grip on your wrist slightly tighter — not letting go but conversely not keeping you there. You could leave whenever your heart desired. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? Your heart desires what your mind doesn’t. Your body desires the opposite of your mind.

“You always run,” he says, his voice soft, delicate. The bitterness that usually graces his tongue is absent, replaced by something quieter, something real.

He brushes his warm hands against yours, the rough cool metal of his rings sends a shiver down your spine. His hands feel rough in random places, calloused along the pads of his fingertips.

“You could go,” he says underneath his breath, his space like eyes flickering between yours. “You have always been able to go.”

“But you don’t want to, do you?”

The way he says it, it was far from a question. As if he had found the last peice of a puzzle. No cockiness, no small disrespectful remarks, just honesty. Pure, truthful honesty. This was unusual for him to show so much.. emotion.

You force yourself to look down into your lap, only this made it worse, it made you realise that his hand on yours was the touch you had been craving for so long. The warmth, the weight, the silent promise in the way his fingers curl around yours.

You force the lump that was once again forming in your throat, you wanted to tell him how you truely felt, the words were right there, on the tip of your tongue, desperate to climb out. Just this once, you would let yourself let go.

“It doesn’t matter what i want Namgyu. You know that.” Your voice unsteady. “It doesn’t change the way this night will end. It doesn’t change the mornings id wake up dreaming of something that we didn’t have, and what we could of had. It doesn’t change the way you change between day and night.” You inhale, sharply shaking your head as hurtful tears start to form. “So tell me, what is the point in even acknowledging what i want? It does not matter.”

Tears fell like a gushing wave, you felt frustrated. Emotional, it was indescribable.

Namgyu exhaled. For once, he didn’t look cocky or smug, like he was going to shout out some careless remark and call it day.

For once, he looks real. Sober, somehow. He had definitely done drugs, but you were blinded by it, emotions speaking for itself.

You can’t do this.

“You don’t—“

Just as namgyu starts to speak, his hands frustratedly brushing through his long hair, You step back from the chair, unlocking your hands from his. “I can’t do this right now.”

Your voice trembles, betraying all of the honest emotions flooding your brain.

You stormed out, head low, tears falling violently. You don’t even wait for his reaction, you were too scared of confirming those very real emotions. Shoving through the crowd, the pulse of the music vibrating through your shoes.

You don’t know where you’re going— you just knew you had to go, for good.

Until.

A hand grabs your wrist, firmly. You started to tense, already knowing who it was.

“Please.”

[lostmyself-whenilostyou]

𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐌𝐞 𝐆𝐨 𝐩𝐭 𝟐

"𝐼 𝒸𝒶𝓂𝑒 𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇, "𝐻𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜, 𝒸𝒶𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒷𝑒 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑒?

𝒞𝒶𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒷𝑒 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑒? 𝒞𝒶𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒷𝑒 𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑒?" "

Pairing: Kang Dae Ho/388 x F! Reader

Warnings: Swearing, blood, death

Word count:1,100

You sat in your bed still, fidgeting with your hands as you heard some people talk a couple of beds away from you, discussing  what the next game could be with the man that apparently was a previous winner of this game. You looked over to their side as soon as you heard a familiar voice. As you turned to see you saw Dae Ho standing there with the small crowd of people, asking what the next game would be. From what you could overhear they said to pick the triangle shape, you didn't know what for but you'd be sure to keep that in mind just in case. You were snapped out of your thoughts as you saw Dae Ho looking back at you, you didn't even realize you were staring at him, too caught up in your thoughts to notice until you felt his gaze on you. You looked away as quickly as you could while blushing. You stayed with your head down, playing with your own hands nervously as you heard a voice beside you. You looked up, slowly opening your eyes hoping it wouldn't be Dae ho. You let out a defeated and annoyed sigh as you saw it was him, his nervous smile quickly dropping as he saw your annoyed expression. “Listen, I'm sorry. I-... The money wasn't enough for me yet…” He explained as he looked down, unable to look at you for some reason. You sighed again. “It's fine, we just met so there’s no reason why I should have trusted you anyway.” You said while looking down at your hands. “You can trust me.” He said sheepishly and you looked up at him from where you sat. “And how am I supposed to know if you’re telling the truth?” You asked with interrogation in your tone. “Well I did save your life…” He said with a slight smile. That was true. He had saved your life, but he risked it now by voting to play one more game. “Look, just stick with me? We can protect each other for one more game and then leave. Besides, I've already made friends with the previous winner, so I'm quite the catch huh?” He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. You rolled your eyes but inside you knew he was right, you still didn't trust him but it would benefit you to stick with him, and even if your mind was telling you not to trust him, you couldn't shake off that the way he chuckled, the way he looked at you, and the way he smiled slightly gave you a unknown  warm feeling that scared you slightly. But you pushed that away for now as you nodded, knowing it would benefit you to stick with him and the apparent team he made. “Fine. I’ll trust you for now.” You said hesitantly, your voice almost a whisper. “Great. Come on, I’ll introduce you to Mr.456.” He stuck out his hand for you to take. You stood up off your bed and walked past him, ignoring how the small gesture made your heart flutter. He sighed and put his hand back at his side as he walked with you, stopping in front of his now ´team´.  You looked at them nervously and smiled as Dae Ho spoke up. “This is…” He trailed off as he turned to look at you. “Sorry, earlier you never got to give me your name.” He smiled at you. You looked back at him with a neutral expression, still skeptical about him. “It's y/n.” You told him. “Ah.” He looked back at 456 and the other two men, 001 and 390. “This is miss y/n.” He told them with a smile as he placed a hand on your shoulder. You tensed slightly, but your heart skipped a beat at the small touch. 

As you now had a little group of five, the man who you later learned was named Gi-hun told the group you should take turns to sleep and keep watch in case something goes wrong in the night. Now it was your turn to watch while the others slept. You were nodding off as you suddenly felt a hand on your shoulder. You flinched, startled as you turned around and calmed down once you saw it was Dae Ho. “Shit, you scared me.” You sighed out in relief with a hand on your chest. “Sorry.” He smiled sheepishly at you as he sat down next to you. “Cant sleep?” You asked. “Nope, can't keep my eyes shut.” He sighed. “Well then.” You cleared your throat. “Your turn to watch.” You said as you stood up, but you felt his hand grab yours. Your breath hitched in your throat. “Stay? I don't like to be alone.” He mumbled out the last part as you saw a flick of vulnerability on his face, even in the dark room. You rolled your eyes slightly, not liking how his hand on yours made you feel, but sat back down next to him without saying a word. “So, Y/N, how did you end up here?”  He asked silently. “Uh, well… Same reason as everyone I guess, I’ve got debts to pay.” You shrugged. “Yeah, but there's gotta be more to you than just that.” He chuckled, “I don't really think there is.” You scoffed lightly.  “Bummer… The pretty ones are always boring..” You scoffed, “I am not boring.” You looked at him “Well then prove it.” His face moved closer to yours. “Uhh… How exactly?” You stuttered. “Well… Boring girls don’t kiss guys so maybe…” He trailed off as he leaned his face closer to yours. Your heart sped up at the closeness and you found yourself blushing and subconsciously leaning in until your lips touched his and everything else around you disappeared. The kiss was slow and passionate as one of his hands came up to cup your cheek, you let out a noise of surprise and he chuckled against your lips. You suddenly heard someone clear their throat behind you both. You gasped and instantly pulled away from Dae Ho’s lips, blushing furiously as you saw Gi Hun standing there, looking rather amused. “Just thought I’d come see if you guys were tired.” He smirked lightly “ Uh.. Well yeah I think I'm gonna go to sleep.. Uh yeah…” You stuttered over your words as you couldn't even look at either of them in the eyes. Even though you felt Dae Ho staring at you as you left  to go to bed, you did not look back, too embarrassed.

Hey guys so I got logged out but I had this already written sorry it took me so fucking long but I could not remember the password to this acc for the life of me anyway here u go another shitty Dae Ho fic🤍

Tag list: @kawakiseyes

[lyvhie]

── .✦ never enough

zhong chenle x fem!reader

𓂃 ࣪˖ summary: maybe there's nothing left to say. Maybe the love between you two is running low. 𓂃 ࣪˖ cw: another attempt at angst 😞 𓂃 ࣪˖ a/n: i don't know what is this, but but but enjoy!!! 💐

The atmosphere in the car was tense. Neither you nor Chenle seemed willing to break the silence, which only grew heavier with each passing second in the cramped space.

From the moment he picked you up, Chenle had been trying to avoid this uncomfortable mood. He wasn't idiot, he knew you well enough to recognize when something was off. It was in the way your face held a slight scowl, how you barely spoke, and most telling of all, how you hadn't immediately hugged him or showered him with kisses the moment you opened the door.

Still, he chose not to bring it up. You didn't seem ready to talk about whatever was on your mind, and the last thing he wanted was to start another fight. Instead, he just wanted to make you feel better, even if only for a little while—to distract you from whatever was weighing you down.

Not to mention, it had been a while since you last saw each other. He wanted to have a pleasant night with his (admittedly mad) girlfriend. Chenle tried to push aside the fact that you had been acting this way for some time now, hoping that with his full attention, things would eventually go back to normal.

But that didn't quite happen.

What was supposed to be a nice dinner—filled with you telling him about your day or whatever was on your mind—turned into an uncomfortable evening of one-sided conversation. He kept trying, asking questions, making little comments, anything to get you to open up. But every effort was met with short, clipped responses, until eventually, he gave up. Exhausted from trying, he fell silent, letting the weight of the tension settle between you.

And that same silence lingered between you, stretching uncomfortably into the present moment. At this point, Chenle was certain this was because of something he did. It always was.

He didn't know what, not yet, but that familiar weight of inevitability settled in his chest. He could already feel it: this was going to lead to another fight.

You were like a pressure cooker, holding everything in, letting the steam build until you had no choice but to explode. And when you did, he knew he'd be caught in the middle of it.

Chenle tapped his fingers against the steering wheel, sneaking glances at you from the corner of his eye. The weight of your silence pressed down on him, making the drive feel longer than it actually was.

He hated this. Hated the distance, the invisible wall you had built between you two. With a quiet sigh, he finally spoke, his voice softer than usual.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong, or are we just going to sit in this awkward silence all night?"

You shifted in your seat, arms crossed over your chest, staring out the window as if the city lights held all the answers.

“Nothing you don't already know," you answered simply, shrugging, not even sparing him a glance.

Ah. Not this again.

Chenle sighed, your name leaving his lips in a near-pleading tone. "Please, I'm trying," he said, frustration creeping into his voice despite his efforts to stay calm. His fingers tightened slightly around the steering wheel, his brows furrowing. "I'm doing everything I can.”

“I'm sorry if that's hard to believe."

"Okay, then what should I do? Tell me," he said, alternating his gaze between you and the road. "Because I thought we were fine. You said we were fine. I tried to give us a good night, and you spent the whole time looking like you didn't even want to be there."

You finally turned to face him, a crease forming between your brows. "I already told you, Chenle," you shook your head, frustration bubbling over. "This one night doesn't fix everything. I barely see you. And when I do, it's like you're just making up for lost time instead of actually being here."

He exhaled, jaw tightening. "You know I'm busy. I don't choose to be away from you."

“I know you're busy." Your voice was tired—tired of hearing the same excuse over and over again. "But it feels like you're only too busy for us."

Chenle's brows furrowed. "That's not true," he said, his tone carrying a hint o exasperation. "Things have been hectic lately. Of course, I'd rather be with you all day, but I have responsibilities. I can't just push them aside." He exhaled sharply, shaking his head. "I am trying, I make time for you whenever I can.”

You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. "Whenever you can," you repeated, voice dripping with disbelief. "Do you even hear yourself? You make it sound like I'm just supposed to sit here and be grateful for whatever little time you decide to give me."

Chenle's jaw clenched. "That's not what I meant."

"But that's what it feels like," you snapped, turning to him. "You just admitted it—you prefer to be with me, but you can't because everything else comes first. So where does that leave me, huh?"

His patience was wearing thin now. He absolutely hates it when you twist his words. "That's not fair," he shot back. "You know this isn't about choosing between you and my responsibilities. I don't want to be away from you, but I have to be.”

“And I have to deal with it, right?" you bit back, voice trembling with frustration. "I just have to accept it, pretend I'm okay with it—pretend I don't feel like I'm losing you every single day?" You scoffed, looking out the window before turning back to him, eyes burning. "How can I love you if you're never around?"

The words hung heavy in the air, sharp and unforgiving. Chenle's breath caught in his throat. His fingers curled even tighter around the wheel, his anger flaring—not just at you, but at the situation, at himself, at how nothing he said or did ever seemed to be enough.

“You don't mean that," he said, his voice low, controlled, not wanting to snap at you or show how your words were hurting him.

“Don't I?" you challenged, pushing him just a little further. "I mean... how do I even know you're not just—" you hesitated, your voice dropping slightly, but the words still came out before you could stop them. "Fooling around with someone else?”

Chenle's head snapped toward you, his expression shifting from frustration to pure disbelief.

“Oh, so now I'm a cheater?" His voice was sharp, edged with something almost wounded. "Seriously? That's what you think of me?”

“Can you blame me for wondering?" you ssaid back, shrugging. "You're barely around, you barely talk to me, and when you do, it's always the same excuse—'I'm busy.' What else am I supposed to think?"

His take a deep breath as he tried to keep his anger in check. "You're supposed to trust me," he said, voice low but firm. "You're supposed to know that I wouldn't do that to you."

You scoffed. "Yeah? Well, it's kinda hard to trust someone who's never here."

That did it. His patience snapped.

He pulled the car over abruptly, the sudden movement making your breath hitch. As soon as the car was in park, he turned to you.

“You really think so little of me?" he demanded, his voice laced with anger and hurt. "After everything? After all the times I've shown you how much you mean to me?" He let out a bitter chuckle, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know what more you want from me. I'm doing the best I can, and somehow, that's still not enough for you."

You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came out. Because, deep down, you knew this wasn't really about him cheating or whatever nonsense you were saying right now—it was about how much you missed him. How much it hurt to feel like you were slipping further and further from each other.

You knew he was trying. So hard. You knew that. It wasn't lost on you, all the effort he put into making this work, but the words still slipped out, cutting deeper than you intended. You didn't mean to hurt him. Of course, he would never cheat. You knew that, too. But despite all of that, you couldn't bring yourself to say sorry.

You looked away from him, ashamed. The silence stretched between you both like a suffocating weight, the tension palpable. You weren't even sure what to say back to him. Nothing you said would change anything now. You could feel the distance between you growing larger with every second.

Chenle was seething, his chest rising and falling with each breath. He knew you hadn't meant it, but the words still stung. They stung like acid, burning through everything he thought he understood about you. "If you're just going to keep that up, then maybe I should just leave.”

You flinched at his words, though you didn't say anything. The thought of him leaving, of everything falling apart, shattered something deep inside of you.

“Maybe that's what you want." His voice was sharp, cutting through the silence like a blade. "You're better off without me anyway.”

That wasn't how you wanted things to go. You loved him—God, how you loved him. That's why you were still here, still fighting through the hardships, the distance, the endless fights. You didn't want to feel like this. You didn't want to be this angry, this hurt, but it was as if you couldn't stop yourself. Every bitter word seemed to spill out before you could even think.

You could feel your throat burning, the tightness building up as tears blurred your vision. You just wanted to cry, to break down like a child, but no, the words came instead. The same impulsive, careless words you always regretted.

"Yeah, maybe you're right.”

As soon as you said it, you felt the weight of it crash down on you.

The car was suffocating. Every breath felt like a betrayal, every second stretching longer and longer. Chenle stayed silent, but you could feel his eyes on you, burning with disappointment, with hurt. It was as if he was waiting for you to take it back, to say something, anything, that would make it stop. But it didn't come.

Chenle's chest tightened painfully, the silence swallowing him whole. His heart was splintering, piece by piece. Was he really so worthless to you now? Was he so easily discarded that you could say something like that? Had everything he had given you, everything he had done, amounted to this?

Was he really that much of a burden? What had happened to the life you two used to talk about? The future he had dreamed with you? Now, here he was, sitting beside you in this car, the last pieces of the life he had built in his mind slipping through his fingers.

He didn't say anything, didn't try to justify himself, didn't even plead for you to take it back. He just nodded slowly, his lips pressed into a thin line, and reached for the ignition. The car roared to life, the sound of the engine drowning out everything else, and with that, he started driving again.

Neither of you said a word for the rest of the drive.

↝ taglist: @yizhrt , @sinisxtea , @peterm4rker .

[serukaiz]

i’m not sure if you’re taking requests but i’d love to see your take on bully!keisuke or overall mean and nasty keisuke <33

thank you so much for the req, darling! i had fun writing this. my requests are still open! i’ll go ahead and mention that in my pinned. i hope this is to your satisfaction <3

♡ 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐎𝐍 𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐘!𝐊𝐄𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐄.

💢 MINORS, DO NOT INTERACT!

⚠️ warnings: smut, heavy dacryphilia, sadism, masochism, the whole thing starts because he blackmails you, he’s an evil asshole in this, he hates you but does he really, degradation, MEAN SHIT!!!

ⓘ this won’t be centered around him in school or college. think of it like you were unfortunately introduced to him and he decided you’re the one girl he wants to cause pure misery.

you’re a friend of mikey’s. he’s got this one companion — best friend — keisuke baji. 

he’s strong from what you know. tall, muscular. dark eyes and a brooding demeanour, a voice that sends chills down any person’s spine. a total hunk. he’s got nice taste too.

you haven’t interacted with keisuke much. barely at all, actually. you’ve seen him once or twice. he’s not someone close to you. not someone as easy to talk to as mikey’s other friends. you’ve never had any relations with him, neither conflict nor a tender moment. he was just… there. always in the corner of your eye, always somewhere in your line of sight. 

that shouldn’t matter much. it wouldn’t have. you’ve seen a great deal of good-looking men in your life — not a single one quite as unique and appealing as he is, but… attractive still. there was certainly something special about keisuke, no doubt. you felt a sense of exhilaration when he came by. possibly the fact he can snap your spine in a heartbeat if he so wished.

i’d tell you he would never do that. that he’d never be cruel to you, but he would be. he has been. he is.

after the first time you met, he started lingering. you saw him far more often, he was like a phantom. right in your vicinity, just out of reach. you thought your interaction with him would go nowhere, he’d leave you alone and forget about your existence for the rest of his days.

but he didn’t. in fact, he approached you. multiple times. and it got nastier. every. single. day.

he’d shove past you, not even bothering to apologise. you weren’t the first person he’d look at in a room — you didn’t realise it so. the way he’d speak to you, condescendingly and sharp as if you’re some nuisance, it hurt. he’d roll his eyes the instant you open your mouth and he took a sick amount of pleasure in seeing that dumbstruck, disappointed look on your pretty face. 

conversations with him were short. they always left your mind bleeding, racing. he was unpredictable. you wanted to figure him out. you had to. but it was so difficult, because keisuke is not as simple a man as most would think.

 his subtle torment on you started the third or fourth time you’d met. you were with a few mutual friends, hanging out and having a decent time. keisuke went to get some drinks for everyone and he’d purposefully spilled yours on your clothes, apologising so half-assedly that mikey himself was a little shocked he’d be so impolite to a girl.

what no one realised at the time was that keisuke wanted a glimpse of 

you. sure, he’d stalked you a little before, but he hadn’t seen your bra in such a… lewd fashion. he just wanted to humiliate you as well. ‘what a slut,’ he’d think, ‘wearin’ a bra like that in front of everyone. who the fuck does she think she is?’

and as soon as that thought clicked in his head, he knew something.

he felt far too amused at your suffering. it made his heart which many thought to be good, skip a beat. he couldn’t bring himself to feel remorse for it.

that look of embarrassment on your face, the shame. he needed to see more. he had to recreate it.

so he did, over and over, with new methods each time, until one day… he had the perfect leverage.

you were hooking up with some guy. unnamed, a loser no one gave a shit about. he wasn’t the point of attention, however. you were. and keisuke just had to grab this opportunity it, hold it over your head. the guy was recording. you really were such a slut, letting him do that with no qualms. no smarts at all, how naive. although seeing you have something so intimate with another person annoyed keisuke beyond belief, the bliss of having something to blackmail you with and get you to do favours in exchange was absolutely intoxicating.

once that lame session was done and over with, the idiot left your house and never came by again. keisuke jumped him somewhere you no one could see, beat him bloody and snatched the recorder right out of his ugly little hands. he told him, “i’ll break your fuckin’ fingers if you don’t shut the fuck up,” and the man complied, but keisuke broke them anyway. he made quite sure he wouldn’t be ratted out.

now, he knew how to initiate this new level to your so-called bond. he’d never been to your place before — actually, he did, you just never knew. what? can’t a guy check up on his favourite plaything? give him a break.

you came to your room with a deafening shriek, panic overtaking your entire body at the sight of that brute leaning against your windowsill and listening to… porn..? with the most nonchalant expression on his stern face. he didn’t even flinch at your scream. you swore you could’ve passed out from pure fear that day.

“how the fuck did you find my house?!”

“you’re actually such a loser. you still own this many plushies? if i lose hearing ‘cause of your dumb little mouth i’m gonna snap you in two ‘n rip your stuffed animals in half next, so shut up and c’mere.”

you obeyed, anxiety and terror dripping off of your frame. that made the corners of his mouth twitch.

with an indifferent air to his movements, he turned up the volume to the max just to fuck with you some more, and showed you the video playing on his phone.

your heart dropped.

you, buried in the sheets, moaning like a whore. he caught that on video. keisuke baji caught that on video — the man who has been dying to have some form of leverage on you, he fucking had the video! you knew you shouldn’t have trusted that bastard you had sex with!

“pfft… you moan so loud, goddamn. surprised your neighbours didn’t complain to ya. you don’t have any standards, huh?”

“how— how did you get that video?”

his lips curled into a sneer at your obvious question. “how do you think, dumbfuck?”

you swallowed shakily. he almost cooed at how your glittery lips quivered, how tears made your lovely eyes shine.

“what’re you gonna do with it? w-what do you want from me?”

“hah,” he snorted, smiling for only a second before dropping it. “asking a good question for once, that’s surprising. got your brains fucked back into you by that loser? i need ya to do a couple things for me.”

he suddenly tugged at the ends of your hair, balling your tresses up in his fist. you whimpered at the sharp sting of pain, and he smiled cruelly. his face lowered above yours, breaths mixing.

“you’re gonna get on that bed and let me fuck your brains right back outta you like a good girl.”

after that night, he basically treated you like his personal servant. except, he didn’t make you do much for him. “don’t touch my shit. don’t want your filthy self staining my belongings, you got that?” he’d claim. 

how he thanked all that was holy for the invention of cameras and sextapes. he could make you do just about anything for him and you’d have to oblige because you don’t want anyone seeing your pure facade shatter. keisuke knew from firsthand experience that you were just a slut at your very core, and he never forgot to remind you.

he’d be so brash. in the middle of spending time with your friends, he’d practically grab you by the scruff of your neck. “oi, guys. need this dumbass for a bit,” he’d harden his tone while speaking to you next, “come with me.”

you’d have no choice but to follow along, acknowledging the pitiful glances a couple of the guys would send you. and in the following minutes, you’d find yourself on your knees in the middle of a dirty alleyway, choking on the raven-haired devil’s pierced cock like it was the last thing you’d eat. what a mess he’d turned you into, over the span of just a few weeks. you couldn’t comprehend the gratification that only you could give him. no one else could hold a goddamn candle to you. keisuke’s favourite toy, but he’d rather skin himself than admit it. he had a reputation to hold up and a pretty girl to torture, after all.

he’d rarely be gentle with you, if ever. he fucked you behind a toman meeting spot once, while the gathering was going on. up against the grimy wall or bent over his bike, you couldn’t quite remember. both, you think. you’re not sure because your brain was so fuzzy from how full he made you feel. he certainly had the size to back up his audacity. he was hissing at you to keep quiet, but didn’t even bother covering your mouth. no, his greedy hands were occupied with your tits, manhandling and fondling like they were made of dough. to him, they basically were.

he hadn’t taken you out on any dates. if it was ever just the two of you, it was going to be a hook-up, with a mind-numbing amount of pain and pleasure. usually, he’d come to your house, with or without your permission. he’d fuck you until you’re weeping as much as your pussy is, lick at your tears and spit in your mouth. he stayed over once or twice, laughed to himself at how you went out of your way to make him pancakes in the morning. even when he was treating you like a grain of dirt underneath his boot, you were so sweet. it was so cute. especially when he called your cooking disgusting but still proceeded to wolf it down. after that, he asked — forced — you to cook breakfast for him each time he’d come over. 

it left you with a mess of emotions every time you saw him in your abode. he looked out of place but made himself right at home. seeing him brushing his teeth with your toothbrush in the morning, clad in just some low-hanging sweatpants and a goddamn cross necklace shouldn’t have turned you on as much as it did. you scolded him, only barely keeping arousal out of your angry tone. he didn’t give a shit, though. don’t think he doesn’t notice the way you stare at his massive arms.

one of his favourite things to do every time he came over was pin you to the counter as soon as you were done or while you were cooking. especially when it was for him. did you really expect keisuke baji not to fuck you on the counter when you were dressed in such provocative clothes, let alone cooking for him like you’re his wife? he hates that idea, and at the same time wants it badly. you’re so frustratingly cute.

he doesn’t visit you much, though. you look forward to meeting him to the point it’s pathetic, and you hate yourself for it. what’s so damn good about being fucked by some burly, mean delinquent with long black hair, and a broad frame, and… an entrancing caramel gaze, and… and a sickeningly good rhythm and a voice that— oh, stop it! you can’t be swooning for a goddamn bully like him!

 when you’re out and about, keisuke barely even acknowledges you. he doesn’t look at you when you’re talking, maybe an occasional roll of his eyes, but he’ll practically ignore your existence unless he wants to humiliate you in a different way. he’ll even pretend to forget your name sometimes.

“hey, baji, have you seen [name] anywhere?”

“who?”

“[name], are— are you not friends with her?”

“nah. don’t know who that is.”

“i’m here!”

“[name]! thank goodness, i was looking for you.”

“oh, this [name]. should’ve specified it was her. the dumb chick who can’t seem to keep her ass under her skirt.”

“excuse me?”

“hm?”

“uh… i-i’m just gonna go. [name], mikey needs you. he’s over there.”

it makes your blood boil, how keisuke so openly degrades you. and at the same time, you can’t get enough of it. 

you can’t get enough of how he’ll keep a vibrator inside your panties and have the remote expertly tucked in his pocket while you’re having dinner with your friends. the pink object is nestled perfectly against your clit, and you’re struggling not to roll your eyes back. keisuke, the asshole he is, will turn up the settings too high for comfort as soon as you try joining the conversation. you’ll never have a good day with this man around. he won’t reveal a damn thing, too, so everyone except him is concerned about you when you’re trying so hard to hold in your moans.

one night he’ll have his face buried between your tits, filthy groans erupting from his mouth as he drills into your soaking cunt, the next afternoon he’ll shove his broad shoulder against yours with enough force to make you trip and not give you a damn glance afterward. you don’t know it, but his eyes are actually trained on you all the time. he’s just got incredible instinct and a poker face.

he’ll kick your legs apart and flip your skirt up out of nowhere, take you on his bike and drive too fast for your poor heart to handle. when you show any fear during that death ride, he’ll scoff and call you a pussy. in reality, he just craves the way you cling onto him so tightly. like he’s your lifeline, which he is when you’re on the verge of crashing on his motorcycle.

you can’t tell if he’s repulsed by you or wants you. it’s a terrifying mixture of both, you bring out the sadist in him and he’s not going to deny himself of that pleasure. he’s not a monk, for fuck’s sake. he’ll take what he want, whether you like it or not. he’s got a hunch you do, considering the way you stare at him with the most intoxicating look of fear and desire and look away the instant he catches you. 

stupid, stupid girl. thinking you’re so slick. he knows you far too well. he knows when you’re flustered, when you’re trying to defy him and failing miserably, knows how to draw tears from you and he knows how to hit that sweet spot in your pussy over and over until you make his wide back bleed with scratches. he’ll smack you for leaving them, informing you that he’s not your boyfriend and you shouldn’t leave marks on him like he is, but the way he wears them like a badge of honor contradicts him fully. his hypocrisy pissed you off so badly because he leaves bruises and bites on you all the time, and he doesn’t see you complaining about it, does he? well… he does. but unlike him, you can’t do a damn thing about it. you’ll just have to take it all like a champ because you’re his now. that knowledge makes your heart ache, and… maybe between your legs, too.

© all rights reserved. 𓏲ּ🍒

[hamiltonfc]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖⋆⭒˚｡⋆ MOTH TO A FLAME; JUDE BELLINGHAM (Chapter Two)

➤ Summary: Surprisingly, Jude and Noah seem to be getting on well, until Noah does something to get in Kaia's bad book.

➤ Pairing: Jude Bellingham x F!OC

➤ Warnings: Swearing, Food mention.

➤ Discussion tag: #my works: moth to a flame (if you ever have any questions about the story, release schedule, etc. my inbox is always open.)

➤ Word Count: 3,171

TAGLIST | SERIES PLAYLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST

Kaia’s POV

“And this is Jude. My best friend.” Silence hangs in the air for a short while after the introductions. My stomach is tied in a knot while I watch Jude take in my new boyfriend. If it were a stranger perceiving Jude, they’d probably say he’s happy to meet him and that he’s happy for his friend. But I’m not a stranger. His body language, the slight strain in his jaw from the way he’s gritting his teeth and the way his eyes quickly flash to mine tells me everything I need to know.

Jude extends his hand in Noah’s direction. “Hey,” he says while Noah’s hand also leaves the side of his body, grasping Jude’s. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too,” Noah says, quieter than how Jude said it, nerves an obvious thing he’s feeling. The last time Noah came over, and met my family, I knew he had been really nervous, and rightly so because he knows how much my family means to me. But, when it comes to Jude, I had spoken about him so much, about how we had known each other our whole lives, grown up together. Noah knew that Jude meant just as much to me as my family did. However, there was something else about Jude that didn’t threaten Noah, I don’t think (it had threatened other guys in the past), but there was the small fact of Jude being the man in my life. Jude was Noah’s competition, even though I’d told him he had nothing to worry about in the romantic department, and he believed me, Jude’s status in my life was something for Noah, or any other person who wanted to be with me forever, to reach for.

“Oh, hi, Noah,” my mum walks into the room, carrying two plates of food. “Right, these two are for you,” she nods her head at me and Noah so I promptly take my seat across from Jude, as Noah moves to sit right beside me. “Jude, William will be in in a second with your dinner. He’s currently making sure you both get a couple of extra Yorkshire puddings,” Mum flashes Jude a smile. If there was one thing my dad and Jude had in common it was how much they loved my mum’s Yorkshire puddings. Actually, I’m convinced they are the reason my dad decided to marry my mum in the first place. 

“You know me so well,” Jude says and it’s then that I see Jude’s first genuine smile since Noah walked through the door. But it’s no surprise because Jude has always been like another son to my mum, he always has a smile for her.

****

 “So, Jude,” Dad says when we’re all finally seated and eating. “Are you enjoying it in Madrid?”

“Yeah,” Jude brings his hand up to cover his mouth, pausing his speech while he finishes his food. “It’s great, barely any rain, and the football’s obviously amazing.”

“You know,” it’s my turn to speak now. “These two,” I wave my fork between my parents. “Literally never shut up talking about you. “Like God, forbid we ever see someone we know when they’re out in town because they’ll get a good old rant about how well you’re doing and how proud they are of you. No, but, honestly, I’m starting to think they’re prouder of you than they are of me,” I let out a laugh, everything I said in jest.

“Oh, don’t be silly. But, of course, we’re proud of you, Jude, you know you’re a part of this family,” Mum says. It had always been inevitable that Jude would be part of our family. My mum had been best friends with Jude’s mum, Denise, for years before they even considered having children. So when they did eventually have kids, they became like bonus children for both of them. 

I felt, though, when Mum mentioned that Jude was a part of our family, an awkwardness coming from beside me in Noah’s chair. And although I knew Jude appreciated the comment, and knew that he loved my family just as much as they loved him, I could also tell that he was sensing the same thing I was when I caught his eye.

“So, uhm, Noah,” Jude said, clearing his throat, right before taking a sip of his drink, his attention shifting to the man next to you. “How long are you in England for?”

“Oh, erm, I fly back tomorrow,” Noah nodded, shooting a tight-lipped smile Jude’s way. 

Jude nods. “So, did you like working with our Kai, then?”

“Kai?” Noah furrows his brow, turning towards me and tilting his head to the side in question.

“Yeah,” I sigh. “He’s always been the only one to call me that.” I shrug. My whole life everyone had just opted to use my full name, apart from Jude, who had insisted on calling me Kai pretty much since the moment he could talk. “It annoys me when anyone else calls me that.”

“Oh,” Noah squints his eyes, puzzled, but turns back to just nonetheless. “But to answer your question, Jude, it was great working with her.” 

“Look at that,” Jude points a Noah, but shifts his gaze back to me. “You come with rave reviews and everything.”

I laugh, but Noah’s the one to speak. “I feel like everything I saw about her before we worked together was a rave review, you don’t get called one of the best actors of our generation without doing anything great, do you?”

“Well, I could give her a few reviews just based on her personality, and, let me tell you, not many of them are that great,” Jude smirks are you, bringing his arms up to his chest when I reach over the table to smack him. 

“Oi, watch it,” I can’t help but smile at the pair of them as I slump back in my chair. Watching the two of them interact settled my nerves a little. It was almost a given that anyone I invited into my life had to like Jude. Whether it was a boyfriend or a new friend, my loyalty would always be to Jude over anyone, probably until the day that I got married, so it was better to just make sure that they liked him. Why would I want to know someone who disliked my best friend, someone I’d loved my whole life, anyway?

While Jude and Noah got to talking about everything acting and Jude’s football career, I chose to speak to my parents about my next job, which was starting in February, and my summer plans that would follow. Jude overheard the last part of my conversation, “Are you coming to the Euros? You’ll have wrapped by then, yeah?”

This year’s Euros would be Jude’s third international tournament, and seeing as though I had proudly supported him at the last two, I didn’t see why I wouldn’t be going to this one, too. 

“Well, that depends,” I placed my knife and fork together on my plate, signifying that I was done. “Are you going to get me free tickets?” I raise my eyebrows at him. 

“I’ve already added your name to the family and friends list for tickets, don’t you worry,” Jude tried to wink at me but instead ended up doing a confused blink, to which I let out a giggle. “I can also get tickets for you four as well,” Jude nods towards the rest of my family. “You won’t be in the friends and family section, but I can see what I can do.”

“Thank you for the offer, Jude, darling, but me and Will won’t be able to get any time off work, and these two will still be in school. But we’ll be cheering you on from our living room, there’s no doubt about that. And depending on how well we’re doing, we might book some time off for the final, just in case,” Mum winks at him before pressing a kiss to his temple after she’s gotten up to collect everyone’s plates. 

“Don’t listen to her, Jude,” Olivia spoke for the first time since we sat at the table. “I want a ticket to every game, and I mean every single game. I’d do anything to miss a month of school.”

“Don’t be silly, Olivia, you’ve got your GCSEs,” Dad looks up from his phone where he’s most likely scrolling through Twitter looking at Sky Sports News or something in that vein.

“That’s exactly why I want to go, Dad. So Jude, can you get me tickets?” She turns her body fully towards him, exaggeratedly fluttering her eyelashes at him. 

“You know, Liv, as much as I’d like you there, you really should listen to your dad. Even I had to do my GCSEs,” Jude tells her. 

Olivia scoffs, stands from her chair, and in doing so nearly knocks the thing over.  “God, why’s it only Kaia that ever gets to do fun things?”

She’s halfway up to her room before I get to properly reply but it doesn’t stop me from calling her a sore loser. “Perks of being your biggest fan, I guess,” I shrug at Jude, a small smirk on my lips. “Oh, hey, speaking of the Euros, it completely slipped my mind that you’re working in Germany at the same time, aren’t you, Noah?” I turn to look at him. 

“Oh, yeah, I’m shooting that show in Berlin,” Noah nods. 

“So you’ll be able to go to a few games, then?” My dad looks up from his phone, dragged out of his trance and into the conversation. 

“Maybe,” Noah says. “Not sure how much free time I’ll have, but hopefully I’ll be able to get to a couple.”

“If Kaia has anything to do with it, you’ll be going to every single one that’s played in Berlin,” Noah laughs, nodding as he admits defeat, knowing my father is very much correct. It’s a habit of mine to drag people to football matches, even if they’re not the slightest bit interested. 

While my dad and Noah talk some more about his job in Berlin, I notice Jude shuffling around in his seat out of the corner of my eye. I could just take it as him being uncomfortable after being sat down for almost an hour, but the way he’s looking at my dad and Noah through his lashes, his chin practically against his chest, tells me otherwise. 

“Right, why don’t you kids go hang out upstairs or something while I help clean up this mess?” Dad moves to grab the remaining glasses that are left on the table while Jude, Noah and I get up to go upstairs. 

When in my bedroom, Jude immediately goes to sit at my desk, and I can tell that he’s preparing himself for a potentially awkward situation. His hand rests on the wooden surface, tapping away and I know it’s only a matter of time before he pulls a pen out of the pot so he can fiddle with it. 

I go to flop on my bed, grabbing my childhood teddy that I bring up to rest on my chest. Noah claims his spot beside me, in a much more graceful manner. 

“So,” I say, breaking the silence before it could take over the room. “You wanna watch a film or something?” I look between the two guys in my room, a questioning look on my face.

“Um, yeah, sure,” Jude says. “How about w-”

“Stop right there,” I say, sitting up abruptly. “Before you even ask, no I’m not sitting through Pulp Fiction again. Like yeah, Uma Thurman’s hot as fuck, but she’s also only in it for like ten minutes, so what’s the point?”

“Whoah, I wasn’t even about to say that, dickhead,” Jude annoyingly shakes his head at me while he tosses a rubber in my direction, narrowly missing my head. “I was actually going to suggest that Noah picked what we watched, so, you know, it could save the arguing, and then you started yelling at me anyway.” 

“Oh, okay, good idea,” I turn towards Noah. “Is there anything you’d like to watch, Noah?”

“Hmm, that’s a hard choice,” Noah says, a deep-thinking expression on his face. “I think I’d like to watch Pulp Fiction.”

Jude burst out laughing and I feel my face drop in agony at the thought of watching it again. I’m genuinely about two seconds away from punching my boyfriend right across the face.

“Oh, Kai, you should see your face. Nice one, Noah,” Jude’s holding his stomach at this point. 

“What?” Noah says when Jude calms himself down. “I’ve never seen it.”

That’s the moment both Jude and I stop what we’re doing, turning to face Noah with, what I can only imagine are, the most shocked expressions the two of us could muster. 

I let out a laugh of disbelief before finding the words. “You what?”

“Did I hear you right?” Jude pipes up as well. 

I’ve never seen Pulp Fiction,” Noah repeats, causing me to lay back down, simply staring at the ceiling while I try and get over my shock. 

“An actor who’s never seen Pulp Fiction, well I never.” I raise a finger in the air when I’ve had about ten seconds to process the mindblowing news. “You know what I think we have to do, Jude?” I sit up on my elbows so I can look at him properly. “Pop his Pulp Fiction cherry.”

Jude nods as soon as the suggestion leaves my mouth. “It’s only right.”

“Pulp Fiction it is then,” I’m just about to get up from my bed to grab the DVD, when the door of my bedroom bursts open, with a boisterous seven-year-old on the other side.

Leo immediately rushes over to the side of the bed Noah is at. “Hi, Noah, would you like to come and play Roblox with me?”

The look on Leo’s face is adorable. His big, brown eyes look at my boyfriend with so much adoration, even though he’s only met him once before. But Noah doesn’t seem to like Leo as much as the young boy likes him. 

“Oh, I- uhm,” Noah, fidgets, barely making eye contact with him, while I watch on with furrowed brows. “I don’t know how.”

“Well, that’s fine, I can teach you,” Leo bounces in excitement on the balls of his feet. There’s nothing in the world that makes him happier than when he’s playing Roblox.

“Well, I don’t really want to,” Noah says bluntly, leading to Leo’s face dropping, a little pout forming on his lips. 

“Oh, okay,” Leo says sadly and I can tell by the sound of his voice that he’s getting choked up. 

He’s about the leave the room when Jude stands up and walks over to him. Getting on one knee in front of him, he places his hands on the small boy’s shoulders. “Hey, I’ll come and play with you, yeah? we can play that one we were playing last time that you kept beating me at.” Jude picks Leo up, throwing him over his shoulder, causing him to giggle louder than ever. It’s a giggle that can be heard all the way down the hall until they get to Leo’s bedroom. 

My room is silent for a while, allowing me quite a bit of time to think about what I just witnessed. The only thing I can think about, though, is that I didn’t say or do anything while Leo was in the room with me. I should’ve done something to make sure he didn’t get upset, not even a little bit. 

After a little more time, I say, “What the fuck was that?” I turn to Noah, who has barely moved since Jude and Leo left the room. 

“I don’t know, he says, eyes failing to meet mine. 

“That’s not good enough, Noah, you almost made him cry because you didn’t want to play with him. He’d be really upset if it wasn’t for Jude being here,” I let out a sigh. It was bad enough thinking about seeing either of my siblings upset but seeing Leo’s face for that short moment that he thought no one wanted to play with him was heartbreaking. 

“I’m not good with kids, okay?” I have no idea what to do with them,” Noah says, raising his voice a little.

“Then just let him down easily, then, there was no need to be rude. He’s seven, Noah. He only wanted to play with you, you’re never going to get good with kids if you’re never willing to spend even ten minutes with one,” I scowl at him, mad with him for what he did to my little brother. “You know, it’s probably better if we call it a night, I’m quite tired.”

Noah nods. “Okay,” he gets up from the bed. “I’ll see you after Christmas, I suppose,” he leans down to press a kiss to my lips, which I accept, kissing back gently, but he knows that I’m still pissed off at him and that I’m probably going to be like that for a while longer. I shift my body to get off the bed. “It’s fine, I’ll let myself out.”

“Okay,” you nod. “Night. Merry Christmas.”

“Yeah, Merry Christmas,” he says, closing the door behind him on his way out. 

I fall back onto the bed, once again finding peace against my duvet, a sigh falling from my lips being the last thing I remember before I slip into a deep sleep. 

****

Jude: You okay Sleeping Beauty?

Kaia: God when did I fall asleep? Kaia: Also why are you still up? It’s 3am.

Jude: About 7:30ish. Jude: And I’m not tired but I also wanted to make sure you were okay.

Kaia: I’m doing fine. Kaia: Just shocked me a little that’s all. Kaia: Was Leo okay when you were playing with him?

Jude: Yeah but he did ask why Noah didn’t want to play with him so I just told him that he knew I wanted to play with him instead. Jude: But what he did was really fucked up.

Kaia: I know. Kaia: I'm glad he’s not really upset about it though. Kaia: And thank you for saying what you did. I think I’m still going to take him out for ice cream or something tomorrow tho just to make sure he’s okay.

Jude: No problem and yeah that’ll be good for him. Jude: So did he just leave?

Kaia: no I said it’d probably be best if we called it a night. Kaia: I made it clear that I was pissed at him so that’s why I think he was so fine with leaving early.

Jude: You did the right thing he can’t talk to a kid like that without knowing that he did was wrong. Jude: Anyway I’m off to bed. See you on Christmas day. x

Kaia: Yep, goodnight. x

Taglist: @eunoiasgoal @4evermyownmuse

If you would like to support my work make sure to like and reblog this post, and if you're able, consider buying me a pastry! (I also take writing commissions if anyone would like one).

[xechu]

a/n: A bit of a long post, but I thought I'd share some character notes I have of Sukuna from my au 'Cross My Heart'. I don't foresee myself writing anything that is related to Sukuna's past before him meeting reader, which is why I thought it would be nice to release some notes just to give him some more depth. This will have some little fun facts about Jin as well since they're twins. As you might be able to tell, I'm a bit invested in this au right now. But I am trying to work on my other fics, so you might not see anything else come out for CMH this upcoming week. x

tw: 18+ mdni, suggestive themes, mature themes, complicated family dynamics, death

cmh!sukuna - growing up & teen years

Their mother has always been out of the picture so it was just Wasuke, Jin, and Sukuna. Wasuke never mentioned much about their mother, it always seemed to be a sore topic. All they know is she's no longer alive.

Sukuna had always been kind of troubled as a kid and well into his teens. Finance has been tight growing up, so Jin and Sukuna had to work odd jobs since they were 13 until they were of legal working age, which then they would be on an actual payroll working minimum wage jobs.

Uraume knew both Jin and Sukuna since elementary school, but they have always been a little closer with Sukuna. They didn't attend the same high school as they attended another school in a different district, but they were still in contact with Sukuna.

In high school, Jin was the nerd, and Sukuna was just an edgelord that all the girls found very mysterious and alluring. Sukuna's height skyrocketed during this time as well, so he just naturally stood out. He was popular not because he aspired or tried to be - it just happened.

Given his physique, some teachers would also try to recruit him into sport teams, but Sukuna said no, because he had to work part-time after school.

Jin and Sukuna never talked to each other much. Even though they were in the same high school. People didn't even realize they were related because of how different they looked, until graduation when some students saw them taking pictures together with Wasuke.

Sukuna looks a lot like Wasuke, and Jin looks a lot like their mother.

There was a bit of resentment between the two brothers growing up, because Sukuna thought Jin was spineless, whereas Jin thought Sukuna was selfish.

To be honest, both Sukuna and Jin had a difficult time expressing their thoughts and feelings because Wasuke was pretty harsh on the boys growing up, but he also had a lot on his plate as a single father. Given Wasuke's curt nature, he didn't really know how to nurture children and did only what he thought was right.

Sukuna was easily agitated and explosive, versus Jin who bottled everything up and could be a bit reclused when things got too overwhelming.

Kaori and Jin were high school sweethearts. They met in the debate club during Jin's sophomore year. Kaori is one year older than Jin. Jin was not the argumentative type, but he decided to step out of his comfort zone, and try something new. Seeing how Jin is now, it's hard to believe he was incredibly shy in high school. Kaori had a lot to do with him being more expressive with his feelings and really getting him out of his shell.

cmh!sukuna - college days

Left home shortly after high school graduation. He got into a huge fight with Wasuke, because Sukuna wanted to go into trades instead of university. Jin was accepted into a prestigious ivy league university on full scholarship.

Wasuke had found Sukuna's acceptance letter to the same university in the bin, after Sukuna lied and said he didn't get accepted. Wasuke went into an explosive fit - he couldn't understand why his son was settling for 'less' and told him with that mentality he will amount to nothing.

Though Sukuna left home at 18 and seemingly hated his brother, he never changed his telephone number just in case one day Jin needed him.

College was when Sukuna really began to let loose and felt the full experience of freedom.

Lost his virginity to some random TA in his college, he couldn't even remember her name or face, until she approached him one day out of the blue and thought she was pregnant. They went to a health clinic and it turned out to be a false alarm. The TA wanted to continue the relationship on the down-low, but Sukuna dropped it.

Sukuna met Yorozu during his first year of college. Her band was prepping for a college event - they did a cover of ‘Smile Like You Mean It’ by The Killers, which initially piqued Sukuna’s interest

Yorozu and Sukuna hit it off quite well, it had a lot to do with their approach to life, and to be honest they were both kind of troubled at the time.

Toji and Shiu came into the picture shortly after, they met Yorozu during an elective course they all shared, and somehow the four of them all came together as a group even though they were from vastly different fields of studies. Toji and Shiu have known each other for a long time.

Yorozu's area of study - music (4 year), Shiu's area of study - international business (4 year), Toji's area of study - exercise science (3 year), Sukuna's area of study - automotive technician (apprenticeship program, 2 years)

cmh!sukuna - 20's, up to when he went to jail

When Sukuna was 21, he received a phone call from Jin. Wasuke passed away very abruptly. He came home from work one night and said that he had a headache, went to bed early and never woke up.

After going through Wasuke's stuff, they accidentally broke one of Wasuke's picture frames. The framed photo was from their high school graduation. Sukuna never saw the photo before, but Wasuke wore a big smile, one that Sukuna had never seen growing up. And when he looked closely, he could see that his father's gaze was actually on him in that photo.

On the back of the photo, Wasuke wrote a note to his late wife. "They grew up well. I tried my best though it would have been better if you were around, but they still managed to pave a path for themselves despite my shortcomings as their father. Jin is very much like you, while Ryomen reminds me much of myself. They are truly both our children. I am proud of them. I miss you, but the three of us are doing fine."

That revelation with the photo really fucked Sukuna up. That's when he also patched things up with Jin.

Jin graduated at 22 from an ivy league business school, and had this ambition of becoming an entrepreneur. At this point, Sukuna had already been working as a full-time mechanic for two years. Jin approached Sukuna with the idea and that's when they kickstarted their garage business.

The first year was quite difficult, but then afterwards it started picking up, eventually by their fifth year, business was booming. Jin was able to get married to Kaori, and bought a house to start their family. Sukuna bought two condos, and continued living his life of work hard, play hard, and just enjoying a commitment-free life.

Patching up his relationship with Jin and starting a business really saved Sukuna's life - and that's why he has so much respect for Jin and the business. It definitely curbed down his edginess and he felt less troubled, but he's far from a saint and knows there's still a lot he needs to work on.

A few months later, the altercation with the bad business deal happened and Sukuna went to jail for two and a half years.

Toji, Shiu, and Yorozu would occasionally visit him in jail

Jin and Kaori would visit Sukuna too, but Sukuna was the one to tell Jin and Kaori not to visit when they found out she was pregnant. "Don't worry about me, take care of the kid. I don't want a pregnant woman coming in and out of jail like that. I'll see you both and the kid when I'm out."

Writing © xechu - please do not redistribute, translate, or repost any of my works.

[waughymommy]

COLLEGE STUDENT IN DIAPER 🧷

Chapter 5

That evening at the dinner table. every time I looked up, Evelyn was staring at me. She would give me a smile when our eyes met. I would smile back.

The time came, time to get our diapers on.

I have and have not been dreading this all night.

Aunt Kathy took Evelyn and I and she cleaned us, powdered us up, then diapered us. Evelyn was  first. I stared up at the ceiling while Evelyn was diapered. When it was my turn, I looked and Evelyn had lifted her upper body up on an elbow. She was watching Aunt Kathy diaper me!

Aunt Kathy and Uncle John left the livingroom and Evelyn cam and put a hand on my diapered front. Being a guy and not knowing if she was going to squeeze me there or not, I grabbed her wrist and removed her hand.

"I can feel your man thing through your diaper!" Evelyn stated.

"Evelyn please don't touch me there,I, I am over 18 and what you want will get me thrown in prison. You are only 17 years old!" I said.

"I will be 18 in three months from today though!" She pleaded!

I started thinking, yep three more months.

"You can watch when mom diapers me, John Jr. used to."

"No I can't, Aunt Kathy would cut my testicles off and poke my eyes out"

Evelyn smiled and said "Yeah she would, wouldn't she! Willy just so you know I have always had a crush on you. I looked foreward to your visits here or ours to your place, they were always the best!"

"Don't tell anyone but I have always had a huge crush on you, you were always the most beautiful girl I knew by far!" I told her!

"You noticed me! With John Jr. being so sick, everybody seen him, I was an afterthought! You took me and I got to see you play football and play tag and other games John Jr. couldnt! The worst day of my life and the best was the day he died, does that make sense?"

"Evelyn believe it or not it does, I understand it. On one hand you lost your brother the only one you had, on the other people started seeing you, mainly Aunt Kathy and Uncle John!"

"That's it, that is exactly it! Thank You!"

Aunt Kathy came back, "What are you two up to, as if I didnt know! Did he kiss you Evelyn?" She asked?

I was shocked!

"No mom, he is 18 and scared of repercussions with the law, and you." Evelyn said.

"Me? Willy your mom and I we always thought you two would be perfect for each other!"

"You did?" We both said.

Neither one of had heard this theory before.

"Go ahead kiss her!" Aunt Kathy said.

At first I looked at Aunt Kathy like she had three heads.

I took Evelyn and I kissed her. I kissed her for another 10 seconds. Aunt Kathy had said "That's enough, that's enough" about 3 times.

We broke Evelyn had a huge smile on her face, "Wow, that was better than I imagined it would be!"

Aunt Kathy said "I guess I will have to keep an eye on you two!"

Evelyn went to her room and I went to mine.

Evelyn now knows how I feel about her! I though.

Aunt Kathy brought me a glass of warm milk.

She waited for the glass I drank it down.

20 minutes later the milk did it's job I fell asleep.

My dreams were of Evelyn and I getting married, it was heaven.

I awoke needing to pee like crazy!

I went to go to the toilet, dammit I was wearing a diaper, a cloth diaper. Even if I could get it off I could never get it back on again.

I looked at the clock 5:43, breakfast was almost an two hours and half away at 8:30am. No way I can last that that long! 

I remembered how disappointed Aunt Kathy was that I was dry yesterday. I started trying to wet the diaper, my toilet training was strong, my bladder wouldn't let a drop out. I wasn't peeing in a toilet. I got an Idea I went and stood in front of the toilet, I was good until I felt the warmness of my urine spreading inside my diaper. My brain said "Hey wait a minute it's not supposed to feel like this!" My bladder shut down again!

"I began to say it's okay I'm wetting my bed!"

My brain said "Is that all?" My flow started again. I was done and my brain said., "Hey wait a minute, were not a bedwetter!" If I hadn't of been done, I knew that a single drop wouldnt get out now! 

I went back to bed my penis was encased in a nice warm, but damp cocoon. That was my last thought before when my alarm went off and I got up to eat breakfast.

Aunt Kathy checked me and found me wet, I had to pee about 5:45am. She looked pleased and disappointed at the same time. 

After breakfast Evelyn and I were released from our diapers. With it being Saturday we cleaned the house top to bottom.

Evelyn and I had a few more opportunities to steal a few kisses.

[atzluvz]

Through blood and petals

Series masterlist

A/N: As previously stated this is my first ff ! All opinions and feedback is appreciated :)

Pairing : Mafia!San x reader (not written in this chapter though)

Warnings : angst, san gets traumatized, major character death (it all works out in the end tho i promise) , san is in the mafia n highkey a serial killer...

Word count: 1.3K

Series Summary : San let his guard down once, and it cost him everything. Now, he’s built his walls higher than ever.Living with the weight of his past. But when a kind hearted florist enters his life, his carefully guarded world starts to crack. He swears he won’t make the same mistake twice; but some things are impossible to resist.

Chapter 1: No surprises

“A heart that's full up like a landfill. A job that slowly kills you, bruises that won't heal.”

San didn’t really like his career, and not the typical “I hate my job, aarrgghh!!!” kind of complaints. He genuinely despised it. And not that he could back out, oh no. Everyone knew once you joined the mafia, the only way out was in a casket. Maybe that’s why he learned to dissociate during work, leaving all his feelings and emotions behind in his cozy, luxurious penthouse. But what did that make him? A killer without emotions? A machine? No, that’s what made him the perfect asset to the Velvet Dagger Cartel: fast, effective kills with no attachment to his victims. San was there to do his job and make the evidence disappear like it never even happened. Each life he took was like checking off another item on his checklist. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw his targets as real people. That was, until he met her.

She was supposed to be like the rest, just another civilian to help expand their territory. But when San got his mission folder, something didn’t sit right. They never gave him undercover roles, let alone for a ridiculous three months. He was supposed to intern at the bakery where she worked, learn her schedule, poison her, and check her off the list. Simple. Clean. Efficient. But for some reason, everything about this felt wrong.

At first it was nothing. Just brief glances as she served pastries with a smile that was too warm for his liking, too much emotion, too much vulnerability. But as the hours merged into days, her laughter echoed in his mind when his shift was long over. How her voice would greet every customer with a level of kindness he doubted existed in this world, it started to tear him down. She was just a mission, nothing more.

But she had this refreshing feeling to her. She was nothing like the cold, calculating people he was used to. She had this aura that made everything feel softer. She’d talk about her dreams of opening a bakery, how she wanted to make the world a little sweeter, one pastry at a time. She shared stories of her childhood, how it was only her and her mom, but they managed. It was bittersuite she said, a loss of something to earn something else. Every detail about her life was wrapped in warmth, like the oven’s heat that surrounded the bakery. And the more San watched her, the more he saw her as something other than a target. She became a person, a real, breathing, beautiful person.

And suddenly it happened. He couldn't tell when the information he was supposed to extract turned into real interest. How he’d linger in the kitchen for too long, asking questions about ingredients or recipes, only to watch how her eyes lit up when she explained. Every smile she gave him felt like a small crack in the cold walls he’d built around himself. Not like she was blind to it, and he knew, they both knew the feeling between them wasn't platonic. Slowly the meetings discussing the bakeries turned into dates at a nearby cafe. And in those moments, san forgot all about his job. He was just … him. And she was just her. The more he fell for her, the harder it was for him to remember his purpose.

So, when the poison arrived, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Even after he learnt everything he was supposed to know. The way she would come in at 8:00 every morning and leave at 5:30 with a cinnamon roll in her hand every time, always with a smile. That stupid smile, the one that made him melt. She didn't deserve to die. She didn't deserve to become yet another name on his stupid list. But the mafia isn't forgiving. They wanted her gone, and so he had to make her disappear. But he couldn't. He wouldn't.

San arrived home later than usual that night, the weight of his mission plaguing his mind. He had made up his mind. He would end it. He would walk away. He’d tell her everything, run away with her, leave it all behind. But the moment he walked through the door, the air was thick with something unfamiliar. The faint scent of roses. Her scent.

He froze in the doorway, his breath catching in his throat as he saw her.Her body was sprawled out in the middle of the living room. Her once vibrant eyes were open but lifeless, staring blankly ahead. A trail of blood pooled beneath her, the color stark against his white rugs. The delicate flowers she’d worn earlier were crushed under her body, petals scattered like remains of a dream that had never had a chance to bloom. She was gone. And it was all his fault.

He couldn't take his eyes off her. Trying to memorize every detail, the way her hair framed her face, the soft curve of her lips, the faintest trace of a smile she’d given him just hours before, as if she had known nothing was wrong. But in her delicate hands, the ones that once held him so softly, was a piece of paper. Marked with a dagger. He recognized it all too well. The letters he once placed himself, now in the hands of the love of his life.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, but he ignored it. He couldn’t bear to face whoever was on the other end. He knew what they wanted. He knew what they would say. But then, it rang again. And this time, he answered it. “Did you think you could walk away, San?” The voice was cold, laced with amusement. “You let us down. We thought you were better than this. But you lowered your guard” he heard a spine chilling chuckle from the other side “ Your just like the rest of us. Disposable.” San’s grip tightened around the phone. His eyes never left her body. “You took her from me,” he said, his voice barely controlled. “You’ll pay for that.”

The rage inside him was a wildfire. He wasn’t the cold, emotionless machine anymore. She had turned him into something different. Something human. Without thinking, he grabbed his gun from the table and left the penthouse. Moving like a predator hunting down its prey. He made his way to the headquarters, each step fueled by the image of her lifeless face, her broken body. He didn’t care how many lives he had to take. He didn’t care who stood in his way. They wouldn't be able to stop him anyway. He cocked his gun before kicking the door in….

The heavy air in the room felt like it was pressing down on him. San stood in the doorway, the faintest tremor in his hand as he wiped a smear of blood from his collar. The silence was suffocating, broken only by the sound of his boots scraping the floor as he stepped forward. His gaze swept across the room, lingering on the men who had once called him a brother, now sprawled motionless, their expressions forever frozen.

Chapter 1.5 : Fourth of july on its way

[toasttt11]

cleared up

September 1, 2022

Mary laughed as James tripped and tried to pretend he didn’t and he shot her a playful glare.

Mary and James were the last ones on the ice after practice just shooting more pucks together until they had to get off for the next team to practice.

Mary and James have spent most of their time together the last two week since they met, something that has definitely surprised anyone who knows Mary.

Will was just glad Mary has found such a good friend and glad to see her so happy.

Mary just feels comfortable with James and she decided to tell him about her ear into a few days ago and he took it extremely well, James was immediately asking questions wanting to be aware of everything involving her ear and he naturally started staying on her left side making sure to never go on her right side so she could hear him clearly.

It was a small thing but to Mary it just showed how accepting James is and she’s really glad to be his friend.

Ryan walked up the tunnel and standing at the bench as his practice was about to start and frowned crossing his arms seeing Mary with some guy.

He immediately did not like this and frowned even more seeing her laughing and smiling with the boy, he loves seeing her smiling and laughing but not with this … boy.

Ryan and heard from Mary and Will about James but he hasn’t had the chance to officially meet him yet.

Ryan is happy that Mary had a friend but he didn’t like how it made him feel seeing her with another guy who he had no idea what James felt for Mary. James could have a crush on Mary for all Ryan knows and Ryan doesn’t want anyone else with Mary unless Mary likes them than he will painfully accept that and step back but he has a feeling she won’t do that or he hopes she won’t.

A small part of him was upset over the fact he couldn’t be the friend Mary needed.

Mary and James cleaned up some of the pucks that they used before turning heading towards the bench to get off the ice when Mary saw Ryan standing at the bench, her face brighten and she waved at him.
Ryan looked over seeing her waving at him and his face brightened despite his thoughts by just seeing Mary and he softly waved back.
James raised an eyebrow curiously.

“Come on Jamesy you have to meet Ryan.” Mary told James and grabbed the sleeve of his jersey pulling him to Ryan.

James nodded slowly, He’s heard a lot about Ryan from Mary so it was nice to see the face of the boy he’s heard so much about.

“Ry!” Mary smiled brightly at Ryan taking her helmet off as she hopped off the ice and walked over to Ryan.

“Hey Ellie Belly.” Ryan mused fondly his hand brushing against her blonde hair that was in bubble braids.

James looked between the two with a growing smirk immediately realizing what was going on.

“Ry this is James my friend and line mate.” Mary proudly introduced with an easy grin staying close to Ryan’s side.

Ryan looked at James titling his head and James just raised an eyebrow having a feeling he knew why he was getting look from Ryan.

“Nice to meet you.” Ryan spoke monotonously making James and Mary both give him identical looks not believing his words.

“Nice to meet you. Mara doesn’t shut up about you.” James teased not taking Ryan’s word to harm and gave Ryan a smile. He immediately realized Mary and Ryan obviously like each other, it’s obvious. Ryan probably thinks James likes Mary, which James does not.

“Does she?” Ryan started smiling again and looked at Mary teasing relishing in the pink that dusted her cheeks, the pink just different enough from when she is on the ice Ryan immediately could tell the blushing was because of him and not from the ice.

Mary just rolled her eyes fondly at both of their teasing and shook her head before heading to the tunnel and started heading down the tunnel to the locker room.

“Man you have got it bad.” James smirked teasing crossing his arms over his chest.

“So?” Ryan crossed his arms to giving James a look, he’s not sure why James is bringing this up.

“Oh i just wanted you to know i’m not interested in Mary like that all. I purely care for heras my friend.” James just honestly told Ryan, he wanted to clear this up immediately. He’s found his first real friend in Mary and he wants to make sure Ryan doesn’t have a grudge or they don’t have a decent relationship with one another because he knows how much it will mean to Mary.

The tension in Ryan’s shoulders loosened and he un crossed his arms, “Thanks man.” Ryan gave him an appreciated look because James did not need to tell him this but James did.

“Mara is my friend now. I want to make sure i’m chill with the people she loves.” James just honestly answered shrugging nonchalantly.

“Good answer.” Ryan nodded approvingly patting James on the shoulder, “Now i know her and she’s definitely waiting to you so hurry up.” Ryan said looking amused as James threw him a wave before rushing down the tunnel and to the locker room where Mary was.

Ryan shook his head fondly, he has a feeling James would be sticking around now.

Ryan is glad Mary has found such a good friend but he wishes he could be that friend for Mary or even more than a friend but every time he even tries to say something about his feelings Will has interrupted them.

Ryan took that as sign to just wait and be patient for once because one day he is going to confess his feelings to Mary and he is not going to be interrupted.

He just needed to be patient.

[nb-and-nd]

just gonna leave this here, this is a part of an addition I made to another post but I feel like it's relevant here too

I regret to inform you the middle class insecurity industry has now given us the concept of "microcheating", which is when your husband talks to people or has friends