#you know who you married
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Fourth of July only means one thing to me: time to bring my Halloween decorations out of the attic
#July 5th#otherwise known as Halloween Day 1#Mr MB has been wondering why ive been washing all the walls#IN PREP FOR THE SPOOKY#no one tell him#every year he acts shocked when the skeleton is outside at the table in July#you know who you married
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Please someone redraw this with Dr. Ratio and Aventurine because this is the exact vibe they have in my head post-Penacony.
#ratiorine#aventio#aventurine#dr. ratio#honkai star rail#hsr#not exactly#2.1 spoilers#but the vibe isn't present until then#this is canon I'm Hoyo#just trust me#I think my favorite thing about this ship#is that I went in expecting slap slap kiss#but came out of 2.1 convinced that these two could#in fact#get their shit together faster than virtually any other Hoyoverse pair#they're gonna be two years into their relationship before Seele manages to ask Bronya on a date#they're gonna be married before Renheng get their next ship tease#I just think they deserve to be those two guys who show up together#in the background of every promotion and event#and Hoyo never confirms anything#but you never see the one without the other#so everybody just KNOWS#LISTEN HOYO#I'm available for hire#you can pay me to print the money for you
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Oswald's mom is kinda-
#fnaf#I KNOW WHO YOU ARE AAAAAAAA🦅#fnaf into the pit#pit bonnie#fnaf oswald#anyway 😭 as funny as this ask is lmao pls ??? have some decency she’s a married woman 😔 come on now#pix doodles
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IVE DONE IT!! (not exactly sure what it is in this situation but it sure is done)
Rumble n Frenzy would bully screamer any chance they get
Soundwave on the other hand needs payed vacation because that man has to put up with so much crap
#seekers have talons and I will not change my mind on this#I was one of th people cheering on SW in Skybound because honestly he deserves to snap#as a little treat to himself#decepticons#cassetticons#transformers#transformers g1#transformers idw#i ship soundstar in an old toxic married couple kind of way#rumble and frenzy#with cassettes like you who needs autobots#I still have absolutely no clue how to tag for the TF fandom yet#art#my art#fanart#animation#animatic#I never know what these count as#my dumbass had to search up how to spell chauffeur correctly 3 times while making this#sorry to all of my followers that know nothing about Transformers#decepticons are my toxic found family and I hold them like precious stones#I also put them in my mouth and crunch them like precious stones
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Simon who's an attention whore. You cooking? So he's clinging on to your neck, grabbing away that spatula and kissing you giddy. You on work ? So he's leaning against the wall, brooding and whining and mewing. You out with your friends? He's sending that Little scratch he got, captioned with, “need kissies now”, he lowkey wants your fuckin' attention all the damn time and he's so shameless about it.
#RAMBLING!!!!!!#but he's a bbg and you can't tell me otherwise#I don't know he's like always wanting your eyes on him#he's trying so so so hard#Simon doesn't care if you're married for 9 years he's like that 14 year old guy who's listening to your music to impress#he's that guy !!! he's like “You see that idiot ? he doesn't deserve you.” while you roll your eyes and mutter#Simon we married shut up#cod simon ghost riley#ghost call of duty#call of duty#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost fluff#simon ghost x you#simon ghost riley#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost smut#simon my beloved#folkloregurl fics🪩
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I really feel like one of the best details in “A Scandal in Bohemia” that I never see people fixate on enough is that the story starts with Watson stopping in to see Holmes at Baker Street on a complete whim, because he happens to see that he’s home (and Watson is now married and living elsewhere). Like he doesn’t send word first, he’s not invited, he just shows up and surprises Holmes. Which is not that weird but then Holmes is like “oh good, I’ve got a case anyway, you might as well hang out!” which just makes it funnier when the King shows up and is like “I’d really rather speak to you alone, actually” and Watson tries to leave and Holmes is just like “anything you can say to me, you can say to my best friend John Watson, and if you ask him to leave, I would consider it a grave insult, you would be my enemy and I will not help you ever!!” And the king is like “…ok” and just moves on.
like, that is crazy behavior. Holmes is talking about how there’s probably lots of money in this case, and then almost turns away the client for…not knowing who the fuck Watson is?? He’s not even supposed to be there?? He just came to say hi?? “It is both or none”… girl, GET UP.
#I get it though#sometimes your bestie gets married and you don’t talk to him for weeks?? months??#because you’re normal about him and also have pretty serious adhd#so you forget that communication even exists on top of being very sad and lonely and burying it with work#and then he shows up at random and the object permanence kicks in again and you force him to help#with your latest case because otherwise who knows how long it will be until you get to hang out again#and you know you’ll need someone to throw a smoke bomb through a lady’s window AT SOME POINT#PROBABLY#you can’t commit minor crimes by yourself that’s boring!!#and Watson loves your dumb disguises! he’s always said so!#I know we get distracted by the Irene Norton née Adler of it all#but Holmes is incredibly rare (gay) form in this story#a scandal in bohemia#sherlock holmes#acd canon#acd holmes#acd watson#john watson#it’s giving ‘this is my friend Madison and she drOVE ME HERE!!’#you 🫵 yes you! suffer my holmesposting
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Hungover Lan Wangji: ughhh, what happened...?
Wei Wuxian: Wow, drunk Lan Zhan is an entirely different person
Lan Wangji: ...what did I do?
Wei Wuxian: Well, after having a sip of alcohol and passing out, you woke up and tried to steal some chickens
Lan Wangji: Oh god
Wei Wuxian: Then you confessed your undying love for me and told me I am not allowed to kiss anyone but you
Lan Wangji covering his face: Oh no
Wei Wuxian: Then you got us married and adopted an orphan
Lan Wangji: That explains the child
Wei Wuxian: His name is A-Yuan. Then you brought us back to the Jinshi and passed out again
Lan Wangji: Why did you let me do those things?
Wei Wuxian: I was also very drunk
#wwx: ...and that's how we got married!#lqr who has only been paying attention to a-yuan: hmm you say something?#wwx: see i told you this was the best way to tell him#lwj: you do know that he will realize what happened later?#wxx: yeah but that's fine. we'll be in lotus pier by then. we still need to tell my brother#wei wuxian#wei ying#lan wangji#lan zhan#wangxian#mxtx#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#the untamed
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People: "omgg Catelyn was such an evil bitch if she was so hurt at Ned she should have taken it out on him instead of Jon who did nothing wrong!"
Westerosi noble husbands who have full legal and social control of their household (including their wife) if their wife ever attempts to "take something out on them":
#they also just had a whole ass continent wide war about a prince running off with someone who wasnt her wife#begging you guys to engage those braincells for 4 seconds#catelyn stark#catelyn tully stark#it was 1000% neds fault that situation happened even knowing his motivations#and sure there are exceptions like genna lannister who have sway in their households because their fathers family is more powerful#-than their husbands#but even then genna had to OBEY HER FATHER and marry emmon frey against her wishes#almost like she still has to abide by the word of a man#almost like in a feudal patriarchy the ones with all the power are NOBLE MEN
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Kinda want to write a Spock POV post-fal-tor-pan fic where Spock sees Jim and is instantly whammed with the fact that he's in love with him, but still has no idea why or what that means, so he just goes around with a knot of love tangled in his mind, utterly baffled as to why it's there or how to figure it out. He can't ask the kolinahr adepts, because it feels un-vulcan, so instead he's just. confusedly pining the entire time.
Jim smiles sappily at him and Spock's like "My Heart Is Beating Faster. Why Is My Heart Beating Faster. There Is No Cause For My Heart To Be Beating Faster. Do I Have Tachycardia."
Spock, to McCoy: Doctor, is there history of heart disease in my family?
Bones, suspicious: Yes? Why? (already surreptitiously scanning Spock w/ a tricorder)
Spock: I have noticed concerning irregularities in my heart beat. They occur primarily around Admiral Kirk.
Bones, freezing: Repeat that for me, Spock?
Spock: I have noti-
Bones: No, not that, the next bit! Where they happen!
Spock: Ah. Around Admiral Kirk.
[FIVE MINUTES LATER]
Spock, annoyed: Doctor, cease laughing. I fail to understand what part of my medical condition you find so amusing.
Bones, still wheezing with laughter: Don't - don't you worry your little head about it, Spock. You're not sick, that's the important thing. (interrupts himself by laughing again) You'll (wheeze) figure it out eventually.
(Spock, disgruntled, gives up on him and leaves.)
(McCoy keeps laughing for another ten minutes.)
#*sprays myself with water* stop. bad fool. no starting new projects until you have finished at LEAST two old projects#me taking the inherent angst of “post-resurrection memory loss” and saying “but what if we get silly with it”#he's been alive for two blinks and doesn't know what love is but boy howdy is he feeling it#probably to keep the lighter tone we can assume that kirk doesn't actually realize that spock doesn't remember that they were married#he's just like “my husband is alive again!!! <3<3<3”. he is unaware that spock has zero knowledge OR that spock is pining pathetically#so kirk is being Soft and supportive to spock knowing that he needs time to come back to terms with his emotions while spock is ??<3??#kirk thinks that they're on the same page about mending their relationship. while spock has no idea there WAS one Or that he Wants one#spock: jim has invited me to dinner once again. my heartrate increased due to both the invitation and admiral kirk's proximity.#the meaning of this is unclear. i may be ill. i have no desire to limit my interactions with the admiral however. therefore i shall attend.#kirk: i'm going on a date with my husband!!!!! <3<3<3 who is cute and flustered all the time because his mind is a little fuzzy!! <3<3#tos#star trek movies#tsfs#star trek#star trek the original series#star trek the search for spock#james t kirk#spock#spirk#k/s#bones mccoy
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Sukuna is Peak Gap Moe. I’ll never be over this. This bastard talks tough, eats people, and kills like a woodchipper and yet…he is a poetic little sap. Getting mad over an improper haikus, the misidentification of flowers…and confessing his feelings to Gojo Satoru under several layers of wordplay no one except those well-versed in ancient Japanese would catch.
I've been over this in greater detail in Sukuna's Negative Rizz, but @tangsakura added more context in the replies to that post, making Sukuna's use of 凡夫 (bonpu) for Gojo even gayer.
In summary, 凡夫 (bonpu) can be translated as painfully ordinary or unenlightened. But in the individual kanji readings, 凡 is mediocre and 夫 is husband. You could read this as Sukuna calling Gojo his mediocre husband. And that's just the modern readings! The ancient readings...
So you can read this line from Sukuna as the following:
“You were born in an era without me and hailed as 'The Strongest'
1) And yet you turned out to be…painfully ordinary.”
2) And yet you turned out to be…unenlightened.”
3) And yet you turned out to be…a mediocre husband/wife/spouse.”
4) And yet you turned out to be…the ordinary one who could stand by my side.”
Sukuna seems to be saying these things all at once. (It’s no different than the Megumi Activities wordplay he uses with Enchain. Alt. link if the Twitter dies.) Gojo apparently makes him feel very conflicted. He’s boring, he can do better, he shouldn’t even call himself the Honored One, he’s his equal, they’re married. The irony here is that no one except Sukuna can understand this.
#cactus shut up#Also he said this live on TV and the chapter ended on ''the one who will teach you love is…''#I’m isolating this from Sukuna’s Negative Rizz because I want more people to see and understand Sukuna called Gojo his wife.#Well his girlhusband boywife spouse who is also totally mid and ordinary and the one who could stand by his side.#When the ''Sukuna is having dead wife flashbacks'' is no longer a joke.#I am once again asking. When the everloving fudge did Sukuna decide they were married.#I understand wedding ceremonies weren’t really a thing in the Heian Era. But what the hell Sukuna.#What a fudging sap. I hate him. I’m going to call him slurs.#When I say this motherfudger is Beatrice I’m serious.#He killed Gojo by making him the center of his world and expected this physics major to understand the abstract symbolism of the violence.#Sukuna doesn’t know what to do with his feelings for Gojo and he made it everyone’s problem.#Gege’s toxic doomed yaoi has me Obsessed.#sukugo#ryomen sukuna#jujutsu kaisen#jjk spoilers
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What if Dragon Age but they all work at Costco
it’s been 20 minutes and I’m already obsessed with this AU
More
#Isabela married hawke cuz he’s rich and she can buy all the box wine she wants#anders uses company resources to stockpile fertilizer and nitroglycerin pills for Reasons#Ferris tried to run anders over with a forklift and got sent to HR#where Dorian told him “I don’t know how to tell you you should care about your coworkers”#Fenris is 5 months sober and he can’t afford to lose this job#iron bull is a war vet who treats his coworkers like family and does not allow anyone to disrespect them#Sera steals from the company in every way imaginable#Isabela shoplifts because she can#Solas and Anders have long talks about the philosophy of labour and end up trying to secretly start a union#Hawke is just here to pick up some cereal#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#dragon age 2#garrett hawke#solas dragon age#dorian pavus#the iron bull#fenris#dragon age fanart#DAcostco
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you and scaramouche have been married for fifty years, but unlike your immortal husband, you’re a human who inevitably ages.
“yes, she’s my wife. yes, she’s seventy-eight. you got a problem with that?”
he stares thunderously down at the recruit who had stupidly asked who the old grandma hanging around their camp was.
#hey guys you know that one cute comic about the vampire and his human wife who have been married for a long time?#yeah that’s the one that inspired me#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#scaramouche x reader#wanderer x reader#fem reader
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oh ellie his fiancée made banana bread before every home game and thats what made him play well....huh well isnt that an interesting tidbit that doesn't remind me of anything at all...
Matthew Cup Day | 7.18.24 (x)
yeah this reminds me of nothing absolutely nothing at all (x)
absolutely nothing at all...
nothing really comes to mind actually...
#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#sidney crosby. a shadow upon this league.#its like everytime you think its not about him its actually about him#somewhere in the middle of the heart of the woods sidney crosby just sneezed#hey man is it chill if i marry someone who reflects you#not to pit suzie homemakers against each other because all suzie homemakers are great but i would like to see the difference in recipes#lets compare notes shall we?#like i thought the jock thing and the cup thing was a pretty funny example of another hockey freak#but i cannot defend matthew any longer at this point BANANA BREAD?!!?!? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY??????#i know everyone in this league is pathetically in love with him but like COME ON?????#matthew you are on your own jesus take the damn wheel#the wife-ification of one (1) sibney frobby...it has to be studied...
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Hat Thief- Tyler Owens Drabble
Note: I'm so obsessed with writing for him, if anyone has ideas please send them to me. Also I didn't edit it, sorry.
You're lying in the truck with your boot clad feet out the window and Tyler's hat on your head. It's burning hot and he's taking his sweet time for some reason. Your white tank top and jean shorts are clinging to you uncomfortably. The AC in the motel is broken and Tyler has the keys. so you can't turn on the car.
"Tyler? Baby, you coming?" You call out to no avail. Evidently he's not even outside yet. You groan deeply and throw an arm over your face. Y'all aren't even chasing today, he wants to take you to his family farm to ride horses.
You've met his parents a few times, they're very sweet and loving and very proud of their son, which of course you understand. He a college graduate, internet famous, and a very selfless person. You truly can't get enough of him, even after dating for 3 years, you still get flustered when he flirts with you. And wearing his stuff, like the hat on your head right now, makes you giddy. You start to blush just thinking of him; his smile, his laugh, his voice, his hair, his hands, his abs, his thoughtfulness, his hugs and kisses, you are literally in love with every part of him.
You are snapped out of your thoughts when you hear the motel door open and close.
"Ty, that you?" You call out.
"Yeah baby, sorry I'll be ready in a moment! I'm just lookin' for something!"
"Okay!" You say as you hear his footsteps approaching the truck. He opens the back and starts moving stuff around. After a few minutes you sit up on your elbows and peer out the back window.
"Whatcha looking for Ty?" He makes his way around to the side of the truck and opens one of the doors.
"Have you seen my..." he trails off. You crane your neck to look at him, which is made difficult by your boots still being about the window.
"Your what?" You say, further confused by his grin. "What?"
"You little thief!" He cries out. "What?!" You say indignantly.
"My hat!" He responds, snatching it off your head. "I've been looking for that for twenty minutes!"
"Oh! I was wondering what was taking you so long!" You laugh.
"Stealing is wrong." He scoffs as he gets in the car. "But I will say you look damn good in my hat." You giggle at that and pull your feet in the car as he starts the engine.
"I love you Ty."
"I love you too hat thief."
#tyler owens x reader#twisters#glen powell#glen powell x reader#tyler owens#glen powell x you#tyler owens x you#drabble#short#help me i'm in love with him#who wants to buy me tickets to go see twisters again?#trust me we're married he just doesn't know it yet
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Pokémon Timeskip Series: Battle Legend Lyra 🍒🍂
One of the two Johto-Kanto champions, Lyra is best known for her bright and cheery down to earth attitude both on and off the battle field! She likes to travel ALOT you can find her in coffee shops in Kalos or surfing the waves in Alola or just about anywhere with her Fiancé, Silver by her side and never turns down a challenge to a good battle (even if she accidentally sweeps the other person’s team whoops) Her favorite drink is boba tea, her birthday is March 4th, she has a crippling gatcha AND otome addiction, and is 165 cm tall but that’s all for text no one is gonna read aaaaaa-
Drew out my timeskip Lyra due to me wanting to update a few things in regards to her design (can’t believe it’s been almost two years since my timeskip designs HELP) but I hope you enjoy!
Twitter Link
#pokemon#Trainer Lyra#Pokemon hgss#Lyra pokemon#Art#Her team is actually inspired by my SacredGold run btw! Hence why she has a Glaceon ha ha#(and she has a Farigiraf and Phanpy as well but I forgot to put them sorry)#pokemon timeskip#hgss#-points at her- they don’t know she’s my favorite (next to dawn)#I love her design so much she’s so hello Kitty ok she’s sooooo strawberry shortcake alright#Minnie mouse looking ass I love her so fucking much#she and silver are married cause I said so#it’s actually vague in my verse if she’s the npc role btw cause she DOES have the hgss mom and Ethan has the GSC mom! Also I’m super biased#Kris is the only one who’s truly a npc lol (lab assistant)#My ethan is a blend of npc Ethan and gold so my Lyra is a bit of Pokemas Lyra but also my own hcs if that makes sense#Also she and Kris are sisters!!! V important!!!! They are hello Kitty and Mimi to me if you compare the two I’ll explode you with my mind!!#gotta upload my art on tumblr but I’m lazy as hell lmfao#anyways uhhhhh#Hanamaru kunikida vibes for her btw…. please listen to Akogare Ranraran for full Lyracore vibes for this image thx#ALSO…. LISTEN TO LOVELY LOVELY STRAWBERRY BY KUBO YURIKA FOR MAXIMUM VIBES OF MY LYRA INTERPRETATION THX#Ok bye lol#Ally draws stuff
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Just once I would like a Peter stuck in Gotham story where Tony gets dragged along with him for the ride.
Like they drop down and Tony is like
“Not an ideal situation, good news is we’re not dead. Bad news that looked like a one way trip for us. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Now we should focus on short turn goals: food, water and a place to stay, everything else can wait.”
I want Tony to be out there working his ass off from helping people with broken items then getting a job at wayne enterprises and starting a technology revolution in this dimension because he just can’t stand how out of date everything is and then running to pick up Peter from the rich kid school and the two of them trying to do reconnaissance and failing miserably.
Peter for his part is having a great time with school and his new vigilante gig.
Peter’s vigilante friends in school are worried about how bruised Peter looks sometimes and think that Tony is abusive before breaking in and just hearing Tony being a mother hen.
Then one breakout things are not looking too good and Spider-man just says
“Karen, activate Papa Protocol.”
And then like ten minutes later in comes Ironman with a bone to pick with the rouges.
Bruce doesn’t know if he loves Tony or hates him but his kids find him hilarious.
#writing prompt#marvel x dc#peter parker#tony stark#bruce wayne#just let peter have some support#tony doesn’t go out in the ironman suit a lot bc it’s was damaged on the way here and very flashy#tony after running home due to a code Papa: you know I’m a little disappointed no one invited me#Bruce watching tony be a suave and charismatic man in front of reporters to give him an exit#knowing full well this is the same man who wear stained t-shirts in the lab while headbanging to ACDC and drinking old coffee#Brue: hm.#Dick: i mean he’s not the worst you’ve ever gone for#Tim: either you marry him or i beg to become peter’s brother#Bruce: he’s annoying I want to kiss him#bruce wayne x tony stark#i guess?
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