#you know i'm always here for you guys if you need me <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[writingwithciara]

across the hall; part 3 -quinn hughes-

summary: y/n moves in across the hall from quinn and in an emergency, she leaves her five-year old daughter in his care

word count: 3.1k

pairing: quinn hughes x reader, toxic ex-boyfriend x reader

notes:

"what the hell are you doing here?" y/n looked from abby to andy before shielding her daughter from him.

"i came to see my daughter." andy bent down and looked at abby. "hi there princess."

"how did you find me, andy?" y/n was reaching for her phone. "i left you behind for a reason. not for you to come follow me here."

"i have my ways, y/n." he was standing straight up now, over a foot taller than y/n. she was always intimidated by him and it worried her. "aren't you gonna invite me in?"

"you shouldn't be here, andy." y/n slowly inched her way to the door while clutching abby behind her. she handed her daughter the keys and stood by her while she unlocked the door. when abby made it inside, y/n closed the door and faced andy again. "you really should go."

"look, i know i was a terrible person in the past. but i've changed. honestly."

"i don't believe you. now please leave."

"i'm serious, y/n. what can i do to prove it to you?"

"that's up to you to figure out." she sighed and turned back towards her door.

"y/n, wait up." quinn called from down the hall. he jogged up to y/n, not registering that she wasn't alone. "i grabbed a puck for abby."

"you didn't have to do that, quinn."

"it was your first game and it's the game winning puck." he handed her the puck with care. "i don't know if you remember, but-"

"it's the game winning puck from the game winning goal that you scored." she looked up at quinn and smiled.

andy, who couldn't stand there quietly anymore, cleared his throat. "babe, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"no. i don't think i want to." y/n opened her door slowly but stopped when she heard andy continue the conversation with quinn.

"hey man. i'm y/n's boyfriend, andy. and you are?"

"quinn." he looked between y/n and andy with a raised eyebrow. "wait, boyfriend?"

"ex-boyfriend." she turned to face him. "he's abby's father."

"oh. okay." quinn stuck his hands in his pockets. "well, it was nice to meet you, man."

"no. no it was not." y/n shook her head then pointed a finger at andy. "i think it's time you left now."

"alright. but i'll be back tomorrow." he kissed her cheek and walked down the hall.

y/n headed into her apartment and, unsurprising to her, quinn followed. he set his hockey bag by the door and looked at her.

"are you alright?"

"of course. why wouldn't i be? it's not like it's an everyday thing where your toxic ex shows up on your doorstep months after you decided to get as far away from him as possible." she looked at quinn. "i'm sorry you had to see him."

"i'm sorry i didn't ask you guys to stick around the arena after the game. this could've been avoided."

"don't blame yourself, quinn. you are a good person. and the EXACT opposite of that jackass." she chuckled dryly and turned the puck over in her hands. "i can't believe i fell for that man years ago. i was so stupid back then."

"no, you were a teenager in love. it happens to us all." quinn crossed the kitchen to come stand in front of y/n. "plus there's a bright side to your relationship."

"i supposed there is. if i didn't need to get away from him so badly, i never would've moved here and never would've met you." y/n smiled up at quinn.

"well, i was thinking about abby. but yeah. this friendship is another bright side i suppose."

"of course abby is the brightest side to it. she's my baby girl." y/n glanced down the hallway and sighed. "whenever i think of how horribly i was treated in the past, i look at abby and everything i went through before her seems totally worth it."

"i agree. she's an amazing little girl."

"she loves you, ya know? sometimes i think she loves you more than she loves me."

"no she doesn't. she could never. you're her mother and that's an immediate win over everyone else."

"thanks, quinn. not just for everything tonight. but everything you've done for me since we met. i owe you huuuuge for it all."

"it's not a problem. you're my best friend. i'm just happy making you happy."

"awe quinn." y/n smiled and slid him a glass of water. "i'm really thankful for you."

"as am i for you." he smiled and sipped the water. "it's getting late so i should head out. if andy bothers you tomorrow, do not hesitate to text me. i'll be over here in a second. do you understand me?"

"yes sir." y/n smiled and walked with quinn to the door. "see you later, quinn."

when the door was closed, y/n kept replaying quinn's words over in her head.

i'm just happy making you happy.

why was he so perfect for her and why did he have to come into her life when she was still in the middle of healing herself?

she threw herself down on her bed and groaned loudly. abby, who was sitting in her own room, walked in. "are you okay?" she asked.

"oh, honey. i'm fine. just thinking about some stuff." y/n turned to face her daughter. "come here." she made room for abby to join her on the bed. "i'm sorry about your dad. he shouldn't have just shown up."

"it's okay." abby smiled and looked at her hands. "what do you have there?"

"oh. quinn grabbed it for you. it's the puck that he won the game with." y/n handed it to her. "and he even signed it for you. how thoughtful."

"I love quinn. he's so much fun."

"more fun than me?"

"of course not, mama. you're the funnest."

"i love you, munchkin."

"i love you too. always and forever."

y/n smiled as abby slowly drifted off to sleep. she didn't even bother moving her from the bed and taking her to her own room. instead, she just cuddled her close and fell asleep with her daughter by her side.

the next morning when y/n woke up, she was expecting to have a text from her boss asking her to come into work on her day off. but when she rolled over to check it, there was nothing from him.

there was, however, a text from andy that was received nearly 40 minutes ago. see you in about an hour, it read. she groaned and turned her phone upside down so she didn't have to look at it any longer.

before she had a chance to get out of bed and decide how she was going to avoid andy for the day, there was a knock at the door. abby opened her eyes and y/n got out of bed to answer the door. quinn stood on the other side with a big smile on his face.

"good morning." he leaned against the wall. "i was just about to head out to breakfast and wanted to see if you lovely ladies would like to join me."

"that sounds like a great idea." y/n grinned. it was the perfect excuse to avoid andy. "as long as we can get ready and leave within the next 10 minutes."

"well, you look good right now so it shouldn't take too long."

ignoring the sudden intense burst of butterflies in her stomach, y/n kindly smiled at him. "thanks. but it's abby i'm more worried about. she doesn't like getting her hair brushed. and i don't want to argue with her in such a short amount of time."

"want me to try?"

"you?"

"yeah. i've been told i have an amazing gift when it comes to reasoning with children."

"okay. then, be my guest." y/n closed the door when quinn stepped in. she followed behind him as they headed down the hall to abby's room. just as quinn was about to open the door, y/n ushered him to the next door. when he gave her a raised-eyebrow look, she explained. "she slept in my room last night."

"oh okay." he opened the door and abby, who was sitting up in the bed, rushed off the mattress to give quinn a hug. "hey, sweetheart. i'm taking you girls out for some breakfast. but your mom tells me you don't like getting your hair brushed in the morning."

"i don't. i hate it."

"understood." he chuckled and bent down to her level. "how about this...if you let one of us do your hair in 5 minutes, we can go to the store and pick out a toy, or whatever else you want to do."

"a toy sounds nice." abby smiled and looked at her mom. "can quinn do my hair?"

"that's up to you. but you gotta get dressed in 5 minutes." y/n smiled as abby nodded and ran to her room. she then turned to quinn. "can you do hair?"

"i'm a natural, as you can tell." he smirked and gestured vaguely to his own hair, which only looked like he crawled out of bed and ran his hands through it a few times. but yet, she had faith he would make abby's hair look amazing.

"okay. i trust you." y/n smiled and walked out of the room. "abby, quinn's gonna do your hair while i get dressed, alright, sweetie?"

"okay." abby walked out and dragged quinn to the bathroom.

y/n got dressed and smiled. she had only known quinn for a month and he was already a better father figure to abby than andy was. and it scared her just how close abby had gotten to quinn.

now with andy in their lives, y/n had no idea if they would have to leave to get away from him again. and the idea of severing her daughters connection with quinn, felt like a knife to her own heart.

5 minutes later, y/n was standing in the doorway of the bathroom as quinn gently and calmly brushed through abby's wild hair. he set the brush down and carefully braided it. when he was done, y/n just stared at him through the mirror. he looked up and caught her staring, causing him to smirk.

"what do you think?"

"i think you did a great job, quinn. better than i probably would've." y/n smiled and checked her phone. "okay. we ready to go?"

"absolutely." quinn grabbed one of abby's hands and she used her free one to grabb y/n's. to any outsider, they would look like a typical family. but that was far from the case.

the three of them ventured out to quinn's car and to nobody's surprise, they found it was parked next to y/n's. she reached in and pulled out abby's seat before carefully setting it up in quinn's backseat. she strapped abby in before climbing into her own. quinn shut her door and walked to the driver's side.

"what restaurant are we going to?" abby smiled and looked out the window.

"wherever you want to go." quinn glanced up in the rearview mirror and smiled while he listened to the places abby was listing off.

y/n looked out her own window and they were pulling out of the parking garage just as andy was getting out of his car. luckily, he couldn't see y/n because quinn's windows were tinted. but she saw him and he had a couple of bags hanging off his arms. she couldn't tell what they were but she had a feeling they didn't look like they were meant to be a good thing.

"you alright?" quinn asked as he drove.

"yeah i'm fine." she offered him a smile. "after breakfast, what are you doing?"

"i have no plans for the day. why?"

"would you maybe want to catch a movie with us? abby and i were planning to see that new animated movie-"

"we were?"

y/n ignored abby and looked at quinn "and since one of the restaurants are close to the theater, i figured we could kill two birds with one stone, right?"

"fair point, i suppose." quinn smiled. "of course i'd love to join you."

"great." y/n looked out the window and figured she could use the movie to stall as long as possible so andy would get tired of waiting and just leave.

at the restaurant, a little old couple walked by their table. the lady stopped and smiled.

"my, what a lovely family."

"thanks, but-" y/n began but quinn reached across the table to hold her hand.

"thanks. you guys are the goals we strive for."

"oh, did you hear that marvin? we're what the kids call 'couple goals'. isn't that cute?"

"yes mel. it's so wonderful to hear, darling." he grabbed her hand and as soon as they were out the front door, quinn let go of y/n's hand.

"sorry. i thought they were gonna judge if they found out you were a single mother that looked like she was on a date."

"times have changed, quinny." y/n smiled and watched the waitress bring their food to the table. as she was setting the plates down, she winked at quinn.

usually, he enjoyed what little female attention he got, this act made him uncomfortable. couldn't the waitress see he was with someone? instead of flat out rejecting her, he smiled kindly but focused his attention on y/n and abby as the waitress walked away.

"she was cute, quinn. seemed interest too."

"not my type, honestly." he just shrugged and pulled the top part of the wrapper off abby's straw for her.

abby thanked him before shoving one end of it in her mouth and blowing the rest of the wrapper directly at y/n's face. it hit her cheek and quinn laughed.

"who taught you how to do that?" y/n raised her eyebrow, knowing that it was probably quinn who taught it to her. her suspicions were confirmed when the two of them shared a look over the table that pretty much read 'oh. busted'. y/n just shook her head slowly and smiled. "thanks for that, quinn."

"you are most welcome." he replied just as sarcastically as y/n had. he watched as she looked out the window. her gaze went across the street to the movie theater. "everything okay?"

"huh? oh yeah. i'm just thinking what movie we're gonna see."

"i thought you said we were going to see the new animated one, mama."

"right. yeah we are."

quinn looked over at y/n while abby colored on the placemat. "hey, are you sure everything is okay? i don't want to pry but you've been a little off today."

y/n knew she couldn't hide around quinn. so she sighed and told him what she saw this morning. "i saw the devil as we were pulling out of the parking garage this morning."

"oh no. is that why you wanted to get out there as quick as possible?"

"yeah. he texted me this morning and said he was stopping by. i don't know if you know this but i have a hard time of saying no to him if we're left alone."

"if you want, we can come up with plans to make sure you have no time to spend around him while he's in town."

"i would love that, honestly. but i'm gonna have to face him eventually. i just didn't feel like doing it today."

"well after breakfast and the movie, we're going shopping. but after that, we could grab dinner & do whatever you want to do while we wait it out."

"thanks, quinn. i appreciate it."

the rest of the day went by smoothly. while they were shopping, quinn ended up buying abby whatever she asked for, even though he had only promised to get her one toy for getting ready fast this morning.

when they pulled into the parking garage, y/n couldn't see andy's car so she let out a breath.

"everything okay?"

"yeah. i think so. i don't see his car anywhere so he must not be here."

"well, let's head up and see if he's actually gone." quinn grabbed the bags from the trunk and followed the girls to the elevator. he kept an eye on them when they walked out onto their floor. andy was nowhere in sight.

"thanks for today, quinn. i needed a relaxing day."

"no problem. always happy to be here for you when you need help."

"i know." y/n smiled and let abby into the apartment. she stood in the hallway with quinn for a moment. both of them were silent for at least 2 minutes before quinn spoke.

"i should let you go and get abby ready for bed." he opened his door but turned around before heading in. "you go back to work tomorrow, right?"

"yeah. from 2 to just after midnight. why?"

"well, i was wondering if you wanted me to watch abby. i mean, i have a game and will be at the arena pretty much all day but i feel like it'll be a fun experience for her. you can come too, if you want. before you have to go."

"what time do you go to the arena?"

"9 in the morning."

"okay. i'll meet you there then. you sure it's okay with everyone that abby will be there?"

"oh yeah. she can sit on the bench during the morning skate & bella will be there during the game so she'll be in good hands."

"then you technically won't be watching her, will you?" y/n smiled, causing quinn's eyes to widen.

"technically, no. but i will be responsible for her. i promise she'll be in good hands all day. if you trust me."

"relax. i trust you, quinn." y/n squeezed his hand and smiled. "we'll see you in the morning."

"can't wait." quinn headed into his apartment while y/n went in hers. he couldn't help but think back about what just happened in the hallway. she really trusted him. it had been a while since anyone had put their trust in him the way y/n has the past month he's known her.

he couldn't wait to get to the arena in the morning.

----------

tags: @alwaysclassyeagle

[wukyma]

And what if I do want to get you started 🤨

Please do yap about the relationships between Polites, Perimedes, and Elpenor

Guess who is back to the land of the living? MEEE

So here are the offerings: Poli, Peri and Elpenor chilling together, because I'm a firm believer Polites collected friends like Pokémons (affectionate) (also was lazy to draw sheep but they're there) (I'm never letting him beat the symbolism allegations)

The lil guys having a staring contest, interpret this as you will

A headcanon that I believe to be especially funny is Ody + Eury's complete unawareness of the others' existence – and Odysseus' indignation with this fact (he seems a bit, I don't know, a possessive type of kid to me? Does it make sense?)

That or I just want Ody and Peri to have incompatible personalities and argue a lot (something something foreshadowing I'm not very smart in these matters sorry)

(and yeah Polites doesn't have glasses yet. idk why. maybe he always needed them but ignored blurry vision in favor of running around, not wanting to break them? yes historical inaccuracies. do I care? no)

This is a confusing one to me, even tho I drew it myself lmao... Might be set both before and during Troy, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that Elpenor got bullied by Helios and ended up sunburnt as hell :D Polites is just vibing, trying to manage Peri's hairstyle

Now referring to the cut song ("I don't love anybody that's my power", that one), I think Perimedes would actively try to convince everyone he's so damn badass... Except for the situations when Poli is in a 3-meter radius

To summarize, I think I like them in both platonic and romantic interpretations, either is valid for me tbh... Might even indulge and throw some more PoliPeri at ya in the future :D

[weirdsht]

I have this random idea and I neeed to yap about it here lmaoo

I'm just thinking about krs taking care of a teen around locks age, he met them at some point of the apocalypse and decided to take them under his wing.

let's say they transmigrated together or reader a bit after krs, but they meet at some point in the novel, anyways bc krs!cale took care of them for a good 3-4 years before the transmigration he subconsciously does the things he did before without noticing.

another random thing that came to mind:

idk someone: "wow young master, you really know this kid"

cale: "I hope i do i took care of them for a good 3 years"

random person: "when???"

ignore how this might not make sense storywise and probably characterwise, I'm really sleepy 🙏

Homecoming - Cale & Teen! Reader

a/n: i want to write more but my brain is all out of creative juices because almost all of my profs are making us write essays every day. not to mention that directing thingy i need to do for that stupid uni short film

tags: fluff, platonic, reader is unhinge if you squint, gn!reader

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Requests are open and welcome

Navigation Masterlist

“...What are you doing here?”

That was the first thing Cale asked you as soon as he saw you.

“And you are..?”

Was your question to respond to his question.

Because why is this random nobleman talking to you as if he knew you? Sure he reminds you a bit of Kim Rok Soo but still.

This guy is essentially a stranger and your big brother Rok Soo has taught you stranger-danger.

You can see the redhead sigh before pushing his hair back with his left hand. There’s a look of fondness and frustration in his eyes, another thing that reminds you of your big brother.

Kim Rok Soo wasn’t actually your big brother biologically speaking. Both of you were orphans who found each other in the middle of a ruined world. Two abandoned people who found solace within each other. 

You quite literally tripped into Rok Soo’s life a few months after he became a team leader.

The same way how you literally tripped into this weird noble’s porch. 

Speaking of which, that said noble is now telling everyone to give the two of you some privacy. He even asked the cute baby dragon to put a soundproof barrier around the room.

“Are you doing that to mask my screams when you kill me?”

You couldn’t help but ask once everyone was out of the room. Rok Soo had always told you about not letting your impulsive thoughts win but you couldn’t help it.

Cale sighed loudly and tiredly, exactly the same reaction your Rok Soo would do when you said something stupid.

“No I’m not gonna kill you, and no I’m not going to eat you either so don’t even ask.”

You clamped your mouth shut after that. The question dying on your tongue before you could even ask it.

“I’m going explain myself and then you’ll do the same okay?”

You nodded seeing as you don’t really have a choice. You’re in this guy’s turf and there’s no way you can outrun a dragon and whatever monster of a people this guy has with him. And so you behaved yourself and settled on the plush couch you were escorted to.

“My name is Cale Henituse, or at least that’s my current name. I used to be Kim Rok Soo back on Earth before I died.”

…okay what?

What now?

He was who?

Kim Rok Soo— well you guess he goes by Cale now — knows you well enough to know that this information would cause your brain to overdrive. And so he has a glass of iced water prepared for your poor self to drink.

“Wha- how- huh?”

You tried to formulate words after gulping the water but your mind is still reeling. There’s simply no comprehending this new information bought upon you.

But it’s fine since Cale is willing to wait for you to come around.

Even after 3 weeks of waiting, his still very patient.

He knows when to give you space, but also knows when to spend time with you. Cale knows exactly when you need him to be there for you and when your mind is confused about him being a stranger but also being the big brother you dearly love.

Of course, this raised some questions with the others. Cale suddenly took in another teen one day and he seemed to have known them all his life even though he just met them 3 weeks ago.

“Young master you seem to really know that kid.”

Hans asked one day. In a short distance, Ron was also listening in while dusting some decorative vases.

"I hope I do, I took care of them for a good 3 years."

Was Cale’s nonchalant answer before leaving the room in order to go to your bedroom. He had promised you that he’ll let you wander around the forest today after all. 

Meanwhile, the two servants are flabbergasted — Ron was just hiding it better than Hans.

“...3 years? How did he hide from us that he took care of a child, an entire human being, for three whole years??”

Hans asked and the only answer he got was the dust from Ron’s feather duster flying towards his face.

[mattyriddlegf]

The Stupid Closet (36) finale*

Happy finale day everyone! I cannot believe this day is here, this story has been my baby for so long and now that it's out, I'm feeling very sentimental. Thank you everyone for your continued support for this story, it means so much to me. I will more stuff coming out very soon so stay tuned!! (also, if you have any specific requests for ANY Slytherin guy, please message me!)

enjoy this for the last time <3 ALSO: reminder that the * in the title means this chapter contains explicit content!!

-----------

You spin around, the potion still in your hand, to see Mattheo not even a foot behind you, “where have you been?”

“Not important, what’s important is that you are about to buy love potion when I’m already in love with you” He shrugs.

You decide to let the topic go as Pansy starts aweing at you, “what if I told you it was for Pansy and her date?”

“Her date?” Mattheo asks, walking up to you, your chests touching.

You look up to him, “oh by the way we’re going on a double date with Pansy and Draco” 

Mattheo doesn’t break his eye contact with you. At this point, your lips are just inches away from connecting, “congrats Pansy”

She laughs lightly as Blaise and Theo walk up, “you guys are disgusting” Blaise states, making a puking noise in the process.

Mattheo turns his head to look at Blaise, “fuck off man” he says before turning back and grabbing your chin, kissing you.

“Oh bloody hell” Draco exclaims as he joins the group, rolling his eyes.

You back away, “Hi Draco” you smirk.

He looks between you and Pansy and rolls his eyes again before you laugh again.

You realize the love potion bottle is still in your hands so you quickly put it back down on the shelf before Mattheo whispers, “glad you know better”

You turn back around, the group now paying no attention to the two of you, “But do I?” 

He smirks, “I mean…I could remind you if you want” he shrugs.

“Uh hey guys?” you speak up. The group’s attention shifts back to you as you hold Mattheo’s hand, “we’re gonna go”

“Why?” Blaise asks.

Mattheo winks at them as you rush out, grabbing his arm and pulling him behind you.

“Disgusting!” Blaise yells, the rest of the group laughing.

You and Mattheo practically run back to the castle, heading straight for his dorm. 

He pushes you up against the door after he shuts it and starts to kiss your neck, holding your hands captive above your head.

“I need you right now” you moan as he kisses your collarbone, sending a chill down your spine. 

“Patience” he coos, his hot breath lingers.

You pout as he backs away until he starts to unbuckle his belt. As you watch him hungrily, you pull your tank top over your arms and throw it to the side. He watches you as you unclip your bra behind your back before pulling it off, leaving your top half exposed.

He starts to unbutton his shirt as you pull your shorts off, the panties coming off along with them. You look at him, fully exposed. He stands just a few feet away, his shirt half unbuttoned as he places his hand over his chest, taking you in. 

“God you’re beautiful” his eyes soften, just looking at you. How did you get so lucky?

You walk up to him as he pulls his shirt off and tosses it to the floor. You wrap your arms around his neck as he wraps his arms around your back, lifting you up to him. 

“I love you” you say softly, getting lost in his eyes.

“I love you”he replies, using one of his hands to hold your chin before pulling you in and kissing you. 

As the kiss intensifies, he leads you backwards until you hit the end of the bed and fall backwards. You prop yourself up with your shoulders as he stands there, pulling his pants and boxers off. He puts a condom on, always prepared.

He climbs back on top of you, kissing your stomach and working his way up until he reaches your lips again. 

You feel him go down inside you, forcing a groan out of you as you squeeze your eyes shut. You grab onto the sheets around you as he picks up his pace just a little bit.

“Fuck” he mutters as he goes deeper inside you. 

“Holy shit” you cry out, opening your eyes and watching him.

You can tell he’s close, he falters just a little bit in his movements, “Matty I’m almost there”

“Cum for me baby” he breathes out, slowing his pace even more, agonizing you until you feel your high. You desperately grab his arm that’s propped up by you.

Only a second later do you feel him finish before he pulls outs, breathing heavily and lightly sweating.

He wipes you off with a towel before he climbs onto the bed.

“I missed you today” he coos as he leaves traces of his kiss on your collarbone, propped up on top of you.

“I missed you too...” you let out a breath, “you disappeared on me today”

“I know, I’m sorry” he breathes out, his curly hair brushing the side of your face.

“Where were you?” you ask, curious to what he was doing the whole trip to Hogsmeade. 

“It’s a surprise,” he whispers in your ear.

“You know I hate surprises” you smirk and tilt your head as you touch his cheek, forcing him to look at you.

He looks you in the eye for a second, with those very same brown doe eyes that you fell for, before he gets up and walks over to where his pants are on the floor, He picks them up and searches in the pocket for a moment before finding what he wants.

He pulls out a small jewelry box and hands it to you, “I was getting this for you.” You sit up on the bed and grab the small box from his grip.

You look down at the box before looking back up to him as he sits down on the bed, “Mattheo…”

“Open it” he motions to you.

You open the box to find a small ring, matching the one he wears. The one from the greenhouse.

“Are you serious?” you smile up at him, “Mattheo this is…” you were speechless.

“Deadly.” he grins, “I know you liked mine” he shrugs.

You take it out of the box and place it on your right ring finger as he continues, “I had this nice dinner planned and everything but you are so stubborn”

You smile lightly before looking down at the ring. Your smile fades a little bit, Mattheo instantly noticing, “hey what’s wrong?”

“Do you think we’ll make it?” you ask, “I mean like after Hogwarts. I never, ever want to lose you” 

“Woah, mi amor, you will never lose me, ok?” he pushes a strand of your hair behind your ear, “we’ve been through way too much this year to not make it”

“Yeah all because of that stupid closet” you laugh.

“It’s not so stupid anymore is it?” he smiles.

“Not at all” you smile in return.

taglist: @helendeath @mayamonroem @hatakemrs @swamp-box @iamdnb @cindyss @gillybear17 @princessluvssleep @feistyfox47 @malydiavsss @schaebickel @anime-tomicfox

[alex-the-alterhuman]

I have no idea what's going on..

[pt. I have no idea what's going on.. end pt.]

I think that I might have POTS or something similar. Here are the things that make my life harder/that I noticed:

I can't stand for longer than 30 mins. Sometimes I had to leave our group (of students) and sit somewhere. If I didn't sit, I would faint. On my worse days, I can't stand for a goddamn minute. On the bus/train, I need to find a free seat, otherwise I'll faint.

I feel dizzy and my head hurts when suddenly standing up, especially on my worse days.

My measurements pretty much always say that I have an increased heartbeat and high blood pressure.

I sometimes feel my heartbeat. It's fast and very intense.

I told my parents about it. Their 3 responses:

"You don't excersise enough!" (They tell me this always when I report something)

" Well, it's because of the medicine that you take and we can't do anything about it!!" (Yes, it might be because of medicine, but maybe we can get some supplies that can make my life easier??)

"Don't search up dumb things on the internet!" (phone bad book good)

This is making me tired. I'm afraid to take the bus, because the seats are always taken and I'm afraid to ask for a free seat. I don't "look disabled", I'm not old or pregnant, so I'm afraid of people's reaction..

I will tell this to my psychistrist in my next visit. My parents don't want to make a doctor appointment, because they think that "we can't do anything about it anyways". Even if we can't, maybe there is something that will make my life easier? I don't even have the document about being disabled, because some lady did not want to give it to me for some reason.!

I don't know what's happening. I heard about people with POTS, although their state was way worse than mine. Maybe I have it, but lighter or something else?? I am not a doctor, I don't want to diagnose myself. I have no idea about this kind of stuff.

Today, on geography lesson I wanted to stand to trace the map on my paper. I couldn't. I needed to sit every few seconds, because I was feeling dizzy.

Why am I publishing it here?

Maybe some of you have POTS or know about something similar. I'm not really expecting profesjonal help from random tumblr users, but maybe you guys know what to do in this situation..

Thank you for reading.

[anonymous-and-ominous]

ONE PIECE SPECIAL MENTIONS POST

So I recently put up a post with recs for nakamaship, most Zoro centric. But there are specific interactions Zoro has with specific crewmates that i find interesting. Here's my collection!

Special mentions 1: There need to be more fics with Zoro and Usopp moments. Here are some of my absolute favorites.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14947937 Nakama Means - a bit angsty and ouch, but comes with forgiveness and acceptance. Zoro and Usopp are an underrated duo

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26007529 As Equals - Zoro has always respected Usopp for who he is. PUSHING MY ZORO AND USOPP UNDERRATED DUO PEOPLE SHOULD WRITE THIS MORE AGENDA.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23236735 Our Words Are Power - Zoro being his usual protective self and USOPP. HELL YES MORE ZORO USOPP INTERACTIONS

Special mentions 2: This one isn't so surprising, it's a dynamic that's so fucking hilarious to explore, it deserves mention. I'm talking about Zoro and Sanji ofc

https://archiveofourown.org/works/133653/chapters/191037 Bound and Determined - lots of violence but also humor. But also violence. Zoro and Sanji being nakama (all the while in character, which I can tell is hard to write)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22077217 I have never - crew shenanigans, when you and your sibling attempt to put on a united front against the rest of you family but it doesn't work cause you're both idiots (but with Zoro and Sanji)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50147110/chapters/126642589 Something in the water - I'm not often a fan of fics based on the live action, but this one is gold. Sanji is Sanji, Nami appreciation moments, and Zoro being Zoro

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54951556 Peer Review - Wisdom from the world's greatest (he's not there yet, but it's inevitable we know it. So does Sanji, in this moment). Post WCI, Sanji gets his head on straight.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4236972 If it Ain't Broke - There's only one person who can push him to the point where he has to use his hands. And he regrets it.

Special mentions 3: Zoro and Nami. My collection here is pathetically small, send me recs y'all

https://archiveofourown.org/works/450032 Directionless - Nami deserves better, but she's stuck with what she's got (and it's great)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/968141 Profit - When Luffy goes fishing, Zoro does too (he's got no choice). Nami knows.

While I definitely think canon Zoro is 100% Aromantic and Asexual, I really like Zosan. They're so stupid it makes for great fic. Do you guys want my fic rec list?

[hyakunana]

I hate the sewers . jpg

[brofightiscancelled]

okay ill bite why do u hate kaoru sakuraba sidem aside from the fact that they went from hokuto as a main blue to downgrade to kaoru. to make it less awkward that I’m asking abt sidem on ur osomatsu side blog, what sidem idols would u assign to each matsu ?

i think sideM should collab w osomatsu-san and put them all in Beit so they can all get JOBS!!!!!!

anyways i hate kaoru from idolmaster sideM. i need all my osomatsu-san side blog followers to know that i hate this man. "i need a lot of money fast to pursue an extremely niche medical research track, which is why i quit my stable and high paying job as a surgeon to become an idol while having no soft skills, physical strength or stamina, or interest in getting along with people" are you Stupid??

he's not even using his idol clout to spread awareness of the rare disease he's trying to cure (like SEM does) so it can secure funding, he sees it 100% as a job and refuses to have fun, he is actively unpleasant and uncooperative in every interaction with his coworkers because he's trying to "rise to the top". it seems like the only thing he has going for him are his looks and that he kind of liked to sing when he was a kid. why not become a model at that point when you have the personality of a wet tree trunk. or better yet why not STAY A FUCKING DOCTOR!!!!!

also, i don't like meganes, so write that down.

[huellitaa]

i giggle so hard whenever i see one of my posts on someone else's blog like omg..... i'm actually liked by people..... blushing rn

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

men are so disappointing in so many ways i know i shouldn't expect most of them to be dignified humans but it's crazy. i need to get over this guy he's making my sense of self crumble even faster than it usually does. like he's just so unlike my usual type and i'm pretty convinced he's stupid and slutty and not discerning whatsoever. not to mention boring like i know even if i did have a chance with him he wouldn't Get Me at all so it's a bigger waste of time that usual and i'm actually pretty tired of men in general and definitely tired of parasocial relationships because they drive me insane for months typically. thankfully it's only been like 2 weeks if that at this point. idk. sigh. i know literally virtually nothing abt him as a person and ofc liking any public figure who you know nothing about is only setting yourself for heartbreak and disappointment to begin with bc you already know nothing is gonna come from it but. in a way it's almost addictive to become obsessed with someone and not be looked at with the same level of scrutiny. i don't think anyone in real life would ever try to get to know me as much as i try to get to know people who i'll never even meet. lmao! but that's the thing... idk... i have a lot of love in my heart and it consumes me and i reject my pride usually when i'm into someone. i want to know more... like VORACIOUSLY consuming anything with information about them involved simply because i think knowing someone is a very deep form of love but of course you can never truly know anyone. not completely. and that scares me i think which is why it's always probably been easier for me to never really TRY to be with anyone or have anything real. idk. this turned into me psychoanalyzing myself real quick but SOMEONE needs to bc i need to understand what the fuck is wrong w me.

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[beeholyshit]

What would u do if I told you I'm about to adopt another baby?

[camellcat]

every time I remember no hot ashes/bad wolf I just. oh my god. ROSE TYLER AND MICKEY SMITH AND THEIR LITTLE FAMILY OF MISFIT FRIENDS </3333

[pondscummy]

WILD to have been feeling like I was overreacting about my roommate for days and feeling like oh I'm just not giving them enough credit I'm sure they do care about me even though I'm usually pretty comfortable expressing hurt or need to friends and I don't feel safe doing that w them I'm sure it's exclusively a me problem. and then. scrolling back through this vent blog and it's just a log of various times they've hurt my feelings LMFAO

[unproduciblesmackdown]

meinnnn gott i was like boy this song can't be 8 & a half minutes....well the first 6 minutes of the video are phyllidia krampington loosing george salazar the krampus on everyone & their asshole (here her cousin, b/c although i swear on my life i have seen [phyllidia seducing the krampus via baby it's cold outside] photos, in this 2018 show that sequence is definitely about her trying to fuck melvin cooterstein in the ass. (note that she mentions the xmas villain's long-lost daughter harriet, as the [why are you so evil? / i don't kneauuraeaough....but it definitely doesn't have anything to do with xyz] but no long-lost presumed dead spouse, who would've been already mentioned in the 2019 show at this point though that's no incontrovertible evidence it's not relevant in this show. & my hypothesis is that if melvin is a long-lost anyone, phyllidia would be His long-lost daughter. but 50/50 could go either way! a beautiful relationship ft. the convenience of all these colonoscopies he keeps scheduling)) and then we meet the fancy tree! and don't get around to singing until phyllidia's exit & the krampus's partial sendoff to go feel better having some snacks (i.e., mingle & meander)

[stereax]

woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way

but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D

anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎