#apparently not always but here indeed with some relation to

[unproduciblesmackdown]

meinnnn gott i was like boy this song can't be 8 & a half minutes....well the first 6 minutes of the video are phyllidia krampington loosing george salazar the krampus on everyone & their asshole (here her cousin, b/c although i swear on my life i have seen [phyllidia seducing the krampus via baby it's cold outside] photos, in this 2018 show that sequence is definitely about her trying to fuck melvin cooterstein in the ass. (note that she mentions the xmas villain's long-lost daughter harriet, as the [why are you so evil? / i don't kneauuraeaough....but it definitely doesn't have anything to do with xyz] but no long-lost presumed dead spouse, who would've been already mentioned in the 2019 show at this point though that's no incontrovertible evidence it's not relevant in this show. & my hypothesis is that if melvin is a long-lost anyone, phyllidia would be His long-lost daughter. but 50/50 could go either way! a beautiful relationship ft. the convenience of all these colonoscopies he keeps scheduling)) and then we meet the fancy tree! and don't get around to singing until phyllidia's exit & the krampus's partial sendoff to go feel better having some snacks (i.e., mingle & meander)

[bittersweetty]

Bless The October ᥫ᭡。

We are very blessed with Luke's sudden treat on October 3rd when he posted two stories in less than 24 hours. And while he was active, the significant other was rather quiet as if they're playing a game 🤫 (because whenever one upload about bton related thing, the other one is always silent and vice versa). Okay but then, the next day she surprised us with a lovely cutesy picture on a flight that I believe, had us all screaming, crying, throwing up, and kicking our feet ><

Let's break it down!!!

Nic posted a story of her picture on a flight drinking champagne and thanking Aer Lingus for bringing her on a long-awaited holiday. From the interior and seat, she was flying with Aer Lingus Business Class.

Aer Lingus Business Class Routes in the picture below. (They depart only from Dublin Airport, Shannon Airport, and also Manchester Airport). My take: She didn't fly home to Ireland using Aer Lingus Business Class. And according to her upcoming schedule, the narrative that she flew to New York seems more plausible. But it's not from Heathrow Airport!!

Connecting Luke's story and Nic's story metadata. They flew on the same day. From the information above, we know that Nic went on a long-haul flight, but we don't know about Luke.

Let's look back at his story on the October 4th. Luke's luggage picture was taken in British Airways Galleries First Lounge, Heathrow T5 South. This lounge is accessible to: a) First-class passengers b) Gold members of the British Airways executive club c) Oneworld emerald members. So, he doesn't necessarily have to fly first class and he could take any cabin class and enjoy the lounge as long as he's part of point b or c.

People speculated that he could fly to Larnaca, Cyprus because A uploaded a picture from Marina Breeze, Limassol. So, I checked the flight to Larnaca on Oct 4th morning but the time wasn't timing, and here's the reason why :

Some people also speculated that Luke and Nic flew to JFK from LHR together using Aer Lingus. I found out that it was not a possibility, because Nic was using Aer Lingus Business Class which only departs from Dublin/Sharron/Manchester. Aer Lingus 8817 indeed flew from Heathrow -> JFK BUT that flight was operated as British Airways 117.

YES, I'm a firm believer that they flew together hence the teasing within a day difference and flying at the same time. And also the hand gate picture uploaded by her stylist. It was definitely Lukey Newts' hands! The only possible scenario that aligns with my theory is Nic and Luke flew together and they were connecting through Dublin to one of Aer Lingus' long-haul destinations in North America. Since Luke was at Galleries First Lounge BA, T5, LHR around 06.26 am, they could take this flight : BA | LHR -> DUB | BA828 | departed at 08.44 - 09.37 then switched to Aer | DUB -> JFK | EIN105 | departed 11.33, arrived at 18.49 (dublin time) and 13.49 (NY time) THIS WOULD EXPLAIN why was her story picture taken at 16.27 pm (London time) but appeared very bright outside. Because it's around noon time in the United States!!!

As I'm typing this post, we got another sighting of Nic with her bestie Jake Dunn and also at A24’s screening of Nicole Kidman’s “Babygirl” and apparently they also watched SNL together. Good for them and glad they were having fun (as they should!!). p.s. Jake is not only Nic's best friend, but he is a professional actor first and foremost (and also a producer) like Nic who attended a filming screening and could have used this opportunity to network. It's not a pure holiday if you're still attending events here and there. I beg people to respect Jake and not assume that he's just tagging Nic along when he works in the same industry as her.

Did my belief change that she went with Luke? NO 😊😊😊 I believe Luke was busy auditioning or doing something for an upcoming project. Until it's proven wrong that Luke was somewhere else, this is where I stand (⸝⸝> ᴗ•⸝⸝)

And I'm still standing firm and tall believing that Jake is nothing but a very dear gay friend of hers. Yes, I'm assuming his sexuality based on his social interactions and all of the proof shown by @fiamat12 in her amazing blog, as well as some people assuming he's straight just because he was papped hanging out with Nic and the gang for few times. We are all assuming and speculating anyway. Showing support is okay but coming at them and harassing them is never okay. Never okay to JD as well as to A.

P.S. Big thanks to @ladytumbledown who's very kind and patient responding to my messages and discussing this flight saga with me. It was much easier and fun when you've got someone working with you :)

[youryurigoddess]

Aziraphale’s secret investigation and overlooked Clues

Remember this frame from Good Omens S02E06? Apparently Aziraphale had been using the empty carton box brought by Jim to store things in. It became a new home to at least two out of three “Lost Quartos” — the supposedly lost Shakespeare plays briefly but hilariously mentioned in the Good Omens book — as well as a very mysterious legal document.

Thought probably half of the Good Omens analysts here, including the ever so wonderful @fuckyeahgoodomens, who managed to find some information about the deceased John Gibson from New Cumnock (1855 - 1905).

Unfortunately the most interesting thing about this early 20th century provincial postmaster was his youngest child James (1894 - 1973), a quite famous stage (West End!) and film actor immortalized on screen in The Master of Ballantrae (1962), Witch Wood (1964) and Kidnapped (1963).

After that particular discovery the fandom-wide search seemingly led nowhere and the topic died a premature death.

And I almost figured it out seven months ago.

“But Yuri, you’re so clever. How can somebody as clever as you be so stupid?”, you probably want to shout across a busy London street at this point. Well, let me tell you. Much like Aziraphale, I'm blindingly intelligent for about thirty seconds a day. I do not get to choose which seconds and they are not consecutive.

Only tonight the stars have aligned in an ineffable way.

For those of you who don’t follow this account, some time ago I’ve realized that John Gibson isn’t the only testator whose estate was being investigated by Aziraphale right before The Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeepers Association monthly meeting.

If you watch S2 finale closely enough, you should notice that Crowley not only stress cleans Aziraphale’s bookshop — he also goes through the books and papers on his desk between the last three angels leaving the bookshop and Maggie and Nina’s intervention. A seemingly permanent arrangement of the props post-shooting, visible in detail both on Radio Times tour and SFX magazine photo shoot, sheds even more light on this detail.

The close-ups published after S2 release are legible enough to refer us to a much more prominent historical figure, Josiah Wedgwood (1730 – 1795) — an English potter, entrepreneur and abolitionist. Founding the Wedgwood company in 1759, he developed improved pottery bodies by systematic experimentation, and was the leader in the industrialisation of the manufacture of European pottery.

Long story short, I transcribed the handwritten pages abandoned on Aziraphale’s desk, found out the source and the full text of what could be identified as Wedgwood’s last will and testament, took a walk to visit his Soho workshop, and proceeded to write a lengthy meta analysis about it.

I was today’s years old when I realized that there’s something else connecting those two dead British men.

The Scottish Post Office Directory of 1903 recorded John Gibson from New Cumnock as a “stationer and china dealer” (above) operating from the shop located in the town’s post office building.

Indeed, a close look at his post office shop window in the Henderson Building (below, bottom left) reveals an artful display of fine china and pottery next to postcards printed by Gibson.

There are multiple ways to connect this surprising link with possible S3 plot points, obviously, but it’s getting late, so let’s just name the two most important ones.

You’ve probably heard of the Holy Grail, maybe from Monty Python or Good Omens S01E03 1941 flashback. Depending on the version of the story, if can be a cup, a chalice, a bowl, or a saucer — but almost always a dish or a vessel connected personally, physically and metaphysically to Jesus (unless you’re partial to Wolfram von Eschenbach’s idea that the Grail was a stone, the sanctuary of the neutral angels who took neither side during Lucifer's rebellion).

A slightly more obscure dish related to the Son of God appears in the sixteenth chapter of the Book of Revelation as a vital part of His Second Coming. The Seven Bowls (or cups, or vials) of God’s Wrath are supposed to be poured out on the wicked and the followers of the Antichrist by seven angels:

Then I heard a loud voice from the temple telling the seven angels, “Go and pour out on the earth the seven bowls of the wrath of God.” So the first angel went and poured out his bowl on the earth, and harmful and painful sores came upon the people who bore the mark of the beast and worshiped its image.

The second angel poured out his bowl into the sea, and it became like the blood of a corpse, and every living thing died that was in the sea.

The third angel poured out his bowl into the rivers and the springs of water, and they became blood. And I heard the angel in charge of the waters say, “Just are you, O Holy One, who is and who was, for you brought these judgments. For they have shed the blood of saints and prophets, and you have given them blood to drink. It is what they deserve!” And I heard the altar saying, “Yes, Lord God the Almighty, true and just are your judgments!”

The fourth angel poured out his bowl on the sun, and it was allowed to scorch people with fire. They were scorched by the fierce heat, and they cursed the name of God who had power over these plagues. They did not repent and give him glory.

The fifth angel poured out his bowl on the throne of the beast, and its kingdom was plunged into darkness. People gnawed their tongues in anguish and cursed the God of heaven for their pain and sores. They did not repent of their deeds.

The sixth angel poured out his bowl on the great river Euphrates, and its water was dried up, to prepare the way for the kings from the east. And I saw, coming out of the mouth of the dragon and out of the mouth of the beast and out of the mouth of the false prophet, three unclean spirits like frogs. For they are demonic spirits, performing signs, who go abroad to the kings of the whole world, to assemble them for battle on the great day of God the Almighty.  (“Behold, I am coming like a thief! Blessed is the one who stays awake, keeping his garments on, that he may not go about naked and be seen exposed!”) And they assembled them at the place that in Hebrew is called Armageddon.

The seventh angel poured out his bowl into the air, and a loud voice came out of the temple, from the throne, saying, “It is done!” And there were flashes of lightning, rumblings, peals of thunder, and a great earthquake such as there had never been since man was on the earth, so great was that earthquake. The great city was split into three parts, and the cities of the nations fell, and God remembered Babylon the great, to make her drain the cup of the wine of the fury of his wrath. And every island fled away, and no mountains were to be found. And great hailstones, about one hundred pounds each, fell from heaven on people; and they cursed God for the plague of the hail, because the plague was so severe.

[v0idund3rth3v3il]

https://www.reddit.com/r/progressive_islam/s/1401QvzC6v

These are not my words, please use the link if you want to see the author.

Explanation to verse 7:81 or the "Anti-gay" verse.

People often bring up verse 7:81 with out any context to show why the Quran forbids gay people and thinks that gay sex is haram, I'm here to give the full context and show why their wrong.

For those who don't know, verse 7:81 say's something like "Indeed, you approach men with desire, instead of women. Rather, you are a transgressing people." Which sounds bad alone until you actually take into full context what it means.

The verse is talking about the village of Lot who were actively RAPING men, not just having sex with them (a major problem in the world back then as both the Romans and Greeks were known to rape other males). As in their lust had become so overwhelming that women weren't enough anymore, they had to attack visitors (a big no no in Islamic culture) and rape them even though they where guys. The people of Lot where so depraved that they literally tried to rape angels before being wiped out so it's a warning against the depravity of rape instead of homosexuality in general as no where in the Quran, unlike the bible, does it say anything against gay sex.

The verse literally right before it say's something like (plenty of translations but roughly) "How do you commit such a horrible that NO ONE/THING BEFORE YOU HAVE COMMITTED". This can't mean homosexuality as we know homosexuality in animals does exist and homosexuality was very well known to just about every person on the planet as shocker, gay people have always existed. Historically speaking, the Code of Hammurabi , which ordered society in most of the Tigris-Euphrates Valley for more than a thousand years, has nothing to say about homosexuality. The laws of Eshunna and Egypt are also silent on the subject with us knowing that there were ancient Egyptian gay couples including a Pharaoh who was more then likely bi. The Hittites forbade father-son relations, but that was part of a general rule against incest. The Assyrians thought it shameful for a man to repeatedly offer himself to other men, and also prohibited men from raping males of the same social class, but all other male-male sexual relations were ignored. These are all states that were around centuries before Sodom and Gomorrah were apparently destroyed destroyed. The much more rational explanation would be they made an entire society based on rape of men and other "abominations" to a point where they would kick people out for wanting to stay "pure" (line 7:82), something that no group of people before them have done.

Now people will often say "if it's bad raping man then it's ok if we rape woman right?" well no. This is because when you take it with the previous verse and the verse after it, it's clear that these people wanted the pleasure of doing something that no other group of people had ever done which was the mass rape/normalization of rape of men. It's absolutely horrible but the rape of women was a lot more normalized back than and so wouldn't fit with the previous line of them doing something that no group of people/creatures had ever done before. That also explains why they didn't except Lot's daughter (which could be interpreted as him trying to save them because the angels didn't take to kindly to wanting to be raped) as they got their rocks off by doing what no other people had ever done which was to mass rape men, not women which again, is also disgusting but a lot more normal back then.

To go more into Islamic history courtesy of u/cold-blue, The grand mufti of the Abbasid caliphate in the mid-9th century, Yahya ibn Aktham, was a known homosexual, and viewed a few verses through the gender/sexuality lens.

One of them was the verse where Allah says He prepares males for some, females for others, and mixes the males and females. I’ve read that ibn Aktham once said that this verse confused people because it alludes to sexual preferences. He also said that the heavenly cupbearers mentioned in the Quran are sexual rewards like the houris. (Whether or not homosexuality is allowed in Jannah was debated, and some came to the conclusion that it is, and the only reason it isn’t in this life is because the rectum is dirty.)

The Ottoman empire, the last caliphate of the Muslim world, not only didn't care about gay people (unlike the Europeans) but actually had art depicting it.

Another is al-Razi. While he didn’t outright say that homosexuality is allowed, he allowed gay couples to be together sexually so long as they didn’t have anal sex. He was concerned with homosexual men committing suicide over their innate feelings and said that if there is risk of that, and the man cannot change himself from homosexual to heterosexual/survive in an opposite-sex marriage, he may be with his beloved (a man) so long as he does not transgress the limits (in his opinion, anal sex).

One of the transmitters of the Quranic variants we have today (of which Warsh and Hafs are two) was a man named al-Kisa’i, who was also a known homosexual. So one of the seven qira’ats came from a gay man.

There was another man ALSO named al-Kisa’i, who was a historian in 1100 CE, and he said in his Stories of the Prophets (Qiṣaṣ al-'Anbiyā') that the people of Lut were specifically MEN WITH WIVES who raped other men, not homosexual men, lining up with what we know historically.

And speaking even more so on the physical element, the male "gspot" is actual in the anus which even if you find gross, is a design of Allah and not a flaw. Why would he do that if homosexuality is a sin?

The reason homosexuality is so hated in the Islamic world is none other then the heretical Salafi and Wahhabi movements (actually considered heretics for most of the time they were around including their top scholars, not my opinion, and the only reason their not now is because of British) and because of Europeans as homosexual relationships were generally tolerated in pre-modern Islamic societies, and historical records suggest that these laws were invoked infrequently, mainly in cases of rape or other "exceptionally blatant infringement on public morals". Public attitudes toward homosexuality in the Muslim world underwent a marked negative change starting from the 19th century through the gradual spread of Islamic fundamentalist movements such as Salafism and Wahhabism, and the influence of the sexual notions and restrictive norms prevalent in Europe at the time: a number of Muslim-majority countries have retained criminal penalties for homosexual acts enacted under European colonial rule.

People often only bring up verse 7:81 and don't bring the verses directly previous or after it nor does it take into consideration the histography of their actions and the verse. It would be like me saying a book said "...kill all black people." but not elaborating and saying that the line previous to is says "These people were so horrible that they would regularly chant..." and the line after it is "I can't believe they would say/do something so disgusting." with the entire context of the book being that they would kick out anyone who didn't want to kill all black people. They only say's that the book said to kill all black people. It's very disingenuous to say the least.

To further prove my point, the word "sodomite" is often used to mean the rape of another person through the ass, not consensual sex between the two. If you google "sodomized" than you'll see rapists, not a loving consensual couple. Even the Arabic words for "sodomite" and a gay person is different as sodomite is literally translated into "lut" well a gay person is translated into "shakhs mithliu aljins".

To get more philosophical about it, sex is not some fetish which just develops in people, it is the most primal human desire that a person can have. So why would Allah make a group (there's homosexual animals as well) a certain way and then say not to follow the most basic desire they'll ever have right after wanting food and water but then say the rest of that group can follow that desire after they get married? People can control their desires until marriage as the Quran makes clear, they don't just never have sex. So why would it be any different for a gay couple? This is like saying that sex with it self is haram.

Finally, people often forget the fact that Allah is an all loving and all knowing being so why would he make certain people that he hates or want's other people to hate aka be "phobic" of when in the Quran it's made clear that we should be loving and affectionate? Now even if after all of this people still believe homosexuality is haram, Allah is said multiple time to be all loving, all understanding and all forgiving so as long they are good people and don't commit a truly horrible sin (shirk aka worship of other false gods, rape, murder, hurting others, you know, the classics) Allah will inevitably forgive them for giving into their most basic human desire especially if it's with a loving partner with in a marriage so why would anyone else have a problem with them?

I'm not gonna add a tl;dr because I worked waaay to hard on this for it be condensed into a few sentences and I really want people to read it and fully understand where it's coming from.

[ladykailitha]

Grief (A Friend Indeed) Part 8

And we're back with this one! I think I will update this every Thursday until it's done. We actually don't have too much farther to go. But we'll get there.

Steve really goes through it this chapter. He's been burying his feelings for so long that they were an explosion waiting to happen. It happens here.

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7

****

Steve liked Lauren but he was questioning her taste in friends. Though the first one had been a cousin on Danny’s side.

This was his fourth proposition for sex since he’d arrived. Apparently word had spread around that he was related to the Lexington Kincades and they all wanted a taste of that particular brand of honey.

Never mind he was here for a funeral. But Beth had so far been the most flagrant pursuer.

She was currently leaning on her elbows on the counter, showing off her ample breasts. Not that Steve had ever even been a breast guy. Sure they were great to look at but when it came to sex it was more about the person he was in bed with and less what they looked like. Though apparently dark curls played a bigger part than he would admit out loud.

“Come on,” Beth said. “It’s not as though I’m asking you out. I know you’re going to be gone by the end of the week. All I’m saying is to have a little fun.”

Steve sighed. “Look, I’m not interested in ‘fun’ right now. I’ve had more than enough ‘fun’. I’m looking for something deeper. Someone deeper.”

“You got anyone in mind?” she asked, batting her eyelashes and curling a lock of hair around her finger.

“Yeah, actually I do,” he said straightening up. “They are sweet and kind and makes me laugh. They are always there for me even when I didn’t even know I needed someone to talk to.”

Beth scoffed. “Sounds like your crushing on your best friend or something, Raven, Wren, Mavis or whatever her name was.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Robin.” He crossed his arms and glared at her.

“Yeah, her,” Beth said. “I knew it was some bird name. Lauren was telling me all about her. It’s sounds like you’ve got bad for this girl, but she’s not interested in you. So why not take the edge off and get your dick wet.”

“One, it’s not Robin. Two, I’m here for a funeral. And three, I think we���re really close to something and I don’t want to ruin that with some fling.”

She batted her eyelashes. “She’d never know.”

“I would and that’s what matters.”

He stormed out of the kitchen, clenching and unclenching his fists.

*

Eddie was waiting for him on sofa after he had gone to the bathroom to scrub his face.

“Hey,” he greeted. “Is there any chance we could go somewhere? Just me and you.”

Eddie nodded. “Sure, Stevie. Why don’t we head to Lexington and see your grandma’s grave?”

Steve’s shoulders sagged in relief. “That’s great idea, Eds.”

Eddie hopped to his feet. “Just let me tell Uncle Wayne and Aunt Penny that we’ll be gone all day.”

Steve nodded. “I’ll meet you out at the car.”

“Right-oh!” he replied with a jaunty salute.

Steve shook his head fondly and walked out to the car. He leaned against the hood and watched through the window for Eddie.

He watched with his arms folded as Lauren and Beth seemed to exchange...well it was clear whatever it was, it was very heated.

Beth marched out of the house first without so much as backward glance at the house or Steve. Which was fine by him, if he was being honest.

Eddie came out shortly afterwards. “What’s her damage?” he asked jutting his chin at where Beth had stormed off to.

Steve shrugged. “To be honest, I don’t even fucking know, man. I really, really don’t.”

“You ready to go, then?” he asked.

Steve nodded and they slipped into the car. Steve would drive up and Eddie would drive back.

They were silent on the drive up, but it was a comfortable silence. Eddie could see that Steve had been wound up by something, but wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.

Steve drove slowly through cemetery looking for the Kincade family plot where Eileen and Montserrat Kincade’ mausoleum would be.

Soon it loomed in the distance and Steve stopped the car.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Eddie asked.

Steve nodded.

Eddie got out of the car and walked up with Steve to mausoleum and his eyes wandered over the names on the tombstones. There were a lot of Kincades but there were also a smattering of other names. Husbands of female Kincades allowed to be buried in the family plot.

Eddie saw one and burst out laughing. “Hey, Stevie, look! Another Munson!”

Steve stopped his slow trek to the grave and turned to see where Eddie was pointing. And sure enough there it was.

Nathaniel Munson

1921-1944

Abigail Kincade Munson

1922-1973

“Huh,” he said thoughtfully. “I think that was Montserrat’s, my grandpa’s, younger sister. Her husband died in the War.”

Eddie nodded. He wondered if his Munsons were related to Steve’s. That would be interesting to say the least.

“She never remarried?” he asked as they started walking again.

Steve shook his head. “And as I understand no one tried to marry her off again either. She never had kids. My mom always called her a vodka aunt. She would whisk them off on vacations to far off lands during their holiday breaks and just lived her life to the fullest.”

“Is that why you wanted an uncle to do the same for you?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Mom doesn’t have any sisters, so I thought why not a vodka uncle, you know? Someone to take me places I’ve never seen. Always there for me when things got to difficult at home. But it never happened. Uncles Percy and Jasper never even called as far as I know.”

Eddie bumped their shoulders together. “Uncle Wayne can’t take you places you’ve never been, but I think he’d more than happy to take you into the Munson fold.”

Steve smiled at that. “Thanks, Eds. That means a lot.”

They finally reached the fucking tomb. Eddie wondered briefly if she had been mummified.

They had picked up flowers in town so they wouldn’t wilt. White lilies. No red roses for Steve. Not anymore.

Steve walked up to the sepulcher and laid the flowers down in front of it. He sank to his knees and just started to sob. It just all came out in a rush of emotion building up for the last twelve years. All the people he lost.

The lost of his friends even though they were objectively horrible people, they were his people once upon a time. The lost of his innocence to literal fucking monsters. The lost of his parents through neglect and disinterest. The lost of his relationships with Nancy and every other girl he’d been with since. The lost of his ability to sleep.

Eddie knelt down next to him and put his arms around him, just holding him as he cried.

Steve wasn’t sure how long he had knelt there sobbing into the grass with Eddie’s arms around him, but suddenly there was the sound of a car slowing to a stop behind them.

Eddie looked at his watch and then at the sepulcher behind him.

Shit.

They had by some coincidence come on the twelfth anniversary of Eileen’s death. Eddie instantly knew who was pulling up and if they didn’t get out of there soon, Steve was going to have a much worse day.

But he couldn’t just pull Steve away, not when he clearly needed this. He stood up and turned to face the man that had gotten out of the very fancy car.

To say he was shocked would be an understatement. Steve clearly took after his mother’s side. The man had the same hazel eyes and honeyed hair that Steve did. He had a neatly trimmed beard and a tailored suit.

“Hey!” the man called out. “Who are you and what are you doing here?”

Steve’s head snapped up. He scrambled to his feet, brushing the grass off his knees. When he straightened up the other man gasped.

“Steven?”

“Uncle Percy?” Steve asked, jaw dropping, eyes wide.

“Shit, Steven,” Percy huffed. “Your Uncle Jasper is literally behind me. He’s going to have a bitch fit if he sees you here.” He pulled out a business card and a pen. “Meet me here at four and we’ll talk then.”

Steve nodded taking the business card. He didn’t want to be yelled at by his other uncle either.

Steve and Eddie started walking to their car when another, even fancier car pulled up to the curb. Another man got out. He looked like Max, but was thinner, more ratlike in his appearance. He hurried over to the other side of the car, helping out a very pregnant blonde woman as a ten year old girl hopped out of the back seat.

As they got to the car they could hear the exchange.

“Who was that, Perce?” Uncle Jasper whined.

“Just a couple of college students doing some family history and got turned around,” Percy explained. “I got them sorted and on their way.”

Eddie leaned in close to Steve. “You hear that, we’re a couple of college students.”

Steve snickered. “The only two of the party who aren’t going to go to college.”

They giggled together as they got in the car and drove off.

****

Pt 9|Pt 10|Pt 11|Pt 12

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @messrs-weasley @goodolefashionedloverboi @maya-custodios-dionach @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @emly03 @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @itsall-taken @bookbinderbitch @redfreckledwolf @vecnuthy @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @mira-jadeamethyst @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @gutterflower77 @genderless-spoon @hel-spawn @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @mamafaithful @yikes-a-bee @dragonmama76 @flaming-reauxster

[speedycoffeedelight]

An Animalistic Disaster

CH-21 : Reactions to episode 3 and 4

Summary: Just as the title says.

Masterlist

A.N :T.W : Sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse (All the stuff Angel went through. Remember to take a breather while reading the chapter if you need it.)

You were able to convince your co-worker to work your shift quickly. It took some persuasion but you won in the end. Now you had at least a couple of days to yourself to relax and let go. Soon enough, Niffty came back with three plates of food and Cherri helped her carry them.

"I cooked spicy chicken yesterday. Tell me if it gets too for you to handle." Cherri said laughing as you were handed a plate each and a glass of water. The dish looked delectable. As soon as you were handed the plate, you began to wolf it down from hunger.

It was indeed quite spicy. It burnt on your tongue. Yet you couldn't stop eating. The flavours were literally bursting in your mouth like a bomb. You finished the plate in light speed and held out the empty plate towards Cherri.

"Seconds please!"

After the three of you were done eating, all of you again sat back in the same position as before. This time you leaned back on Angel a bit from how full you felt. As soon as everyone was in place again, you started episode 3.

.

.

.

.

' That looks perfect! ' Charlie exclaimed with happiness.

It looked like Pentious had successfully stayed a whole week with them already. Pentious soon came inside the hotel with a large cannon.

' I'm really looking forward to shooting the other residents. '

' What? Why? '

' Everyone is being too nice. Obviously it must be a lie. I can sense they are planning to kill me. But when? How? I must be.. prepared! '

Oh Pentious, sweetie, you can relate to not being used to kindness too. It almost always makes you second guess thinking they are just faking things for you or you don't deserve it. Or they have some ulterior motive.

' People are being nice because they want you to feel welcome '

As soon as Vaggie said that, it cut off to Husk and Angel giving Pentious the middle finger and Niffty smiling creepily at him. "You really want me to believe your words when they're like that?" Pentious commented pointing at the screen and looking at Charlie. "I'm sure they mean no harm...just watch." She said looking at the screen again.

' And you need to get rid of these...things. Oh, what did I just say? What did I just say? '

' What not my little egg Bois. They do my evil bidding for me. '

"Nooo, Vaggie let them stay. They're adorable!" You pleaded giving the human Vaggie puppy eyes and Pentious joined you. Vaggie rubbed between her eyes in frustration. "Fine...I would but you know I can't control what happens there."

"Oh...right..."

' Do you want to stay here and redeem yourself? '

' Yesss...? '

' Then no more eggs '

"Vaggie that's cruel. How could you." You dramatically sayed as she rolled her eyes. You leaned over and patted Pentious on his shoulder. " Don't worry, I'm on your side okay?" Pentious nodded with a sad smile.

Pentious in the show acted like the eggs couldn't bear to leave him as the eggs just followed Vaggie without a question. Then it cut off to a .... rotting deer? And Alastor eating the said rotten deer with a fork and a knife?

"Alastor Ew, what the fuck?" You looked over at Alastor. Charlie, Angel, Pentious and Cherri had the same reaction as you. Vaggie looked like it was nothing new and Niffty and Husk were already used to this. "Alastor if you wanted we could get you some fresh meat you know!" Charlie exclaimed. "You just had to ask!"

"Mmm, no. I prefer hunting my own meals myself." Alastor said with a grin. "It's far more entertaining ~"

" Why am I even surprised..." Angel facepalmmed. "Whatevah, continue the episode (Y/n). " And you did. Alastor's room was pretty interesting, with half of the room being a forest and other half normal. And apparently that dead rotten deer was his breakfast. How he could eat that disgusting smelly corpse was beyond you.

" Alastor....is this why your teeth are yellow? Cause you don't brush your teeth..? "

" Oh heavens no darling. I am quite hygienic, I assure you. They were like this since I fell in hell. "

" .....It better be or else I don't want your nasty ass breath near me."

That ticked off Alastor a little as his left eye twitched. "Nasty you say... I'll get as close to you as I want, wether you like it or not. I'm afraid you don't have a choice in that matter."

Why did your stomach did a flip at that? Control yourself (Y/n)!

Alastor agreed to Vaggie to take care of the egg Bois humanely after she told him to. Charlie was trying to ease the tension in the hotel as Pentious squeezed Niffty with his tail to kill her. Though Niffty seemed to be enjoying it. Charlie decided they would do trust exercises to build bond between the hotel members.

' Oh I will. But it's cash up front. And I know that one, can't afford me. '

' Gross. I'd never think of it spider. '

" That's right baby. It takes money to get this body movin! " Angel pointed at himself. " Though I might do it for free for you (Y/n)~ think of it as paying back for all you've done for me." Angel whispered in your ear seductively making shiver run through you. Vaggie pushed Angel's face away. "No, you are not doing those. (Y/n) are you okay? I can move this freak if you want to." She asked tenderly while putting a hand on your shoulder.

God why were they all so beautiful and so keen on making you blush. You felt like your face was red as a tomato now as you moved your head sheepishly. "N-no, you don't have to move him, ahaha..." You thought he was just messing with you. Since Angel is supposed to be gay after all so you wouldn't get your hopes up. Angel on the other hand smirked seeing the effect he had on you.

Charlie entrusted Vaggie to lead the trust exercise. They had to share something vulnerable about themselves with the group. She went full military mode with the explanation. Charlie went first with the exercise as she expressed how much she loved the members and fell on Vaggie's arm. You gave the Charlie beside you a headpat.

Angel went on the stage next.

' I love to suck - '

' I swear to fuck if you say dicks! '

' Popsicles you sicko. Getcho mind outta gutter. '

Husk grumbled beside you in frustration as Angel laughed at him. Cherri joined in too. The Angel in the show and then fell down on Husk's arms. Despite Vaggie saying everyone had to catch him, none but Husk did.

' But you know, dicks too. '

And Husk let him fall. Pentious was next. He expressed dramatically how he didn't want to live without his minions and he didn't want anyone to catch him.

' Damn it. '

But he got caught by everyone. Next was Niffty's turn as she quickly ran to the stage, scurrying with her little legs.

' Sometimes, I kill mother bugs in front of their children as a warning to others. '

Everyone, minus Alastor and Niffty was horrified. Suddenly, you didn't feel so safe anymore with her in front of you. When Niffty turned around to give you a smile it only made you gulp in fear as you gave a nervous smile back. You made a mental note to yourself to never mess with Niffty.

No one caught her after she jumped. It was understandable why.

' Yay! Pain! '

However it looked like she didn't mind it one bit. She kept going up the stage and jumping down from it. "...Heeeey Angel? Wanna switch places with me?" You whispered. However Angel turned your head straight around with his hands. "No thanks, I don't wanna go anywhere near her. You're all on your own toots, sorry. " ' Traitor....' you thought bitterly in your mind.

' I like your suit. '

' What are the antlers for? '

' Can I touch your staff thing? '

' Are those your ears or is it your hair? '

Alastor eyes twitched with annoyance as they kept questioning him. Finally, they were asking the real questions. "Alastor, mind answering those questions for us? I'm curious too. " You looked at him only to see his smile seemed strained and his eye brows furrowed. "I believe it is none of your business. Now use your hands to start the video again before I rip it off. " You've never started a video again so fast before.

A new Character showed up. It seemed like Alastor and this Zestial knew each other. And from how people scattered from him you guessed it he has to be one of the powerful demons. He talked like an ancient being too. He was an overlord apparently. As they both went up a lift, a little eggboi named Frank got stuck with them.

' Oh look, Frank is up there. '

' We have names? '

Hehe, you can already see that egg being a fun little addition to the meeting. There were other overlords too. It was some kind of overlord meeting. And there was Rosie! You couldn't wait to hear how she sounded like. Fandom has been going nuts over her since the trailer dropped.

' Alastor? '

' Yes I know. I've been absent sometime. I'm sure you've all been wondering. '

' Not really. But welcome back in any case. '

The way his face srunched up at surprise at her not caring made you want to laugh your heart out. He got mad because someone didn't care enough about him? Aww. Adorable.

' No, they have better shit to do then to listen to an old windbag who thinks she's tough shit. I'm here to represent. '

Velvette entered the meeting. Vox and Valentino apparently would stay absent. Then before they could resume, she threw an angel's head on the table. A collective gasp came from everyone in the room.

' Ohh, tasty '

Alastor why are you like this..

As Velevette was trying to tell them about their plan to fight back, Zestial interrupted her to know how foolish it was. To which Velevette responded with teasing and calling him old man. As Zestial was talking with her you noticed Alastor having a test of the head. Gross.

' Oh what's the matter fossil? Too senile to make a real power grab ? '

' You better show some respect!

Check your behaviour '

That song came outta nowhere. Sick guitar sounds too.

' Haha. You've got it twisted.

I'm not the one who needs a new attitude.

Maybe you missed it,

But I'm that #Bitch '

Okay, this was nice. You were jamming to the song. Her singing voice was nice.

' I'm the backbone of the V's '

You paused to check what was written. Damn, vox sent her a 'behave' text. Also the little ice cream of them seemed tasty.

' Oops, did I strike a nerve?

' Cause when I brought out the Angel's

head

Couldn't help but observe

That your wrinkled face was turning

red '

Hm, maybe Carmila does have something to do with the head? And velvette was trying to coax it out of her.

' That was a productive meeting '

Shut it Alastor. Well, it was indeed interesting to say the least. Carmila ended the meeting abruptly. Alastor noticed Carmila and Zestial going into a room together so he sent Frank after them.

"Alastor, nothing better happen to my egg Boi." Pentious whispered. To which he rolled his eyes. "Come on, it's just an egg. You can make more surely. "

Angel brought the gang to to bondage club later. You had to laugh at the absurdity.

' What makes you think anyone would be into this? '

' Y'know, I, I don't hate this. '

Old man Husk to go. That purring was also adorable.

' I'm ready to punish some bad boys. '

Niffty? Damn that girl was packing inside that dress. Good for her. Vaggie then took them to a freaking battle ground to build trust.

' Buckle up buttercups. Because today you boys become men. '

Intense. It was the only word you could use to describe her training. Vaggie chucked both Pentious and Angel out from the roof. Husk quickly dipped while Vaggie wasn't looking. Niffty was excited to be thrown but got stopped by Charlie.

' I'm supposed to never fail you..'

' You didn't fail me. Vaggie you're not..'

' If I can't help you what's the point of me? '

Poor Vaggie. She was looking down, avoiding both your and Charlie's gaze. They both took some time off to themselves. You slid both of your hands behind Charlie and Vaggie back and squished them together, making them smile a bit.

Zestial was trying to convince Carmila to share her secrets with him. So it was pretty much confirmed it was her.

' But if anyone knew

Then all of hell would rise to war. '

So that was her reason for hiding the news. She didn't want to risk her daughter's life. It's understandable.

' When I saw your face

You made me feel like stranger in a

brand new place '

Vaggie's singing too? That's cool. And her voice was really soothing as well.

' I'll spend my life being your partner. '

Charlie didn't know when she started crying. " Vaggie.." she sniffed. " I love youuuu" she pulled her in a hug again. " I love you too Hun. " She mumbled and kissed Charlie's forehead. Your heart, it felt like it was going to melt. You wanted a relationship like them, badly.

' What was the last thing? '

' She killed the angel ? '

' Interesting.. '

Alastor chuckled darkly beside you. He was definitely cooking something evil with that knowledge.

' At least you can take beating like a champ. You did okay new kid. '

All of the residents were getting a bit better with eachother. Laughing and joking. This episode ended nicely with Pentious going to sleep with his egg Bois all cozy and nicely. As soon as the episode was over, people started to talk with each other. However you didn't realise how little this happy time would last with the next episode..

After a few minutes of talking, you started episode four. Everyone was excited to watch the next episode. And it started with Angel tied up? You and the others were concerned for a moment before it turned out to be a....porn that Angel was showing to the hotel residents. Alastor and Pentious's face scrunched up at the noise of Angel's moans. And you...you didn't know how to feel to be honest.

' Fuck you, this is classy art. '

And it showed a wolf slapping Angel's ass and biting so big that you were sure he took a chunk out of his ass. And god the moaning. You were a blushing mess already.

' That's bullshit. You get drunk and bitch and moan all the time. Everyone likes to bitch to the bartender. I know everything about you and these motherfucker's at this point. '

Yeah, Husk gets to listen to a lot of tales doesn't he? No wonder he's one of the most knowledgeable and the most tired one of the group.

' That one, that one is an insecure buffon who's lonely ass watches you idiots

sleep. '

"Pentious does what?" Charlie asked looking at him shocked as Pentious looked terrified at the glare he was getting. He quickly waved his hands in front of him. "W-wait, this is just in the show. I haven't done anything like that yet! Please spare me miss Vaggie.."

' Princess is a bleeding heart who wants to solve everybody else's problem except her own. '

' What? No. I. What. Ohh. No. '

Yep she definitely does.

' This one judges everyone and everything because she hates herself. '

Aww, Vaggie...poor girl.

' And Niffty? Argh,you don't even wanna know what her deal is. '

If Husk says so, you'll believe him. Though you didn't need Husk to spell out how dangerous Niffty was.

' Kittens got claws,meoow~ '

' And you, don't get me started. I see right through you and all these bullshit and how fake you are. '

Somehow, that got him agitated. While talking with Husk suddenly a call came in Angel's phone. And from the looks of it, it must have been Valentino. God damn that guy.

' Okay, I could be so aggressively kind to Angel's boss that I convince him to let Angel spend more time at the hotel. '

Ah, fuck, fuck, FUCK. This was going to go horribly wrong. You could feel that in every inch of your body. Valentino and Charlie meeting is never going to go well.

"Oh nonono.. please. Please don't go there. " Angel mumbled above you while inching close to the Laptop. It almost looked like he wanted to go inside and stop Charlie if he could. On one hand, you wanted Charlie to find out about the shit Angel goes through so she could help him out. But in the other hand, you didn't want that thinking about in how many ways that could go wrong.

Angel facepalmmed. Almost looking defeated and tensed beside you as the show went on. The show cut off to Angel in middle of the shooting. Between that, Angel caught the sight of Charlie coming inside the studio. "Fuck!" Angel cursed above you. Charlie blushed as a female sinner took off their bra and flashed Charlie right in her face. Vaggie grumbled beside you in jealousy.

' What in the ever loving fuck are you doing here? '

' I am the princess of hell Angel and I go where I please. I'm here to get you some time off for the hotel. '

Charlie's intention was nice. But, god, you still had a bad feeling.

' I'm...coming! '

' Not off camera you're not. '

Fucking Val... Before Angel could get Charlie out Valentino took notice. Both real life Angel and cartoon Angel cursed.

' What can I do for such a... '

' Ahh, no thank you..'

Did...Did that motherfucker just lick Charlie's arm??? Oh hell fucking no! Vaggie screamed beside you. "That's fucking it! It was a fucking mistake to let you go alone! I swear to fucking god when I see that moth I'm going to rip him to pieces!" You felt the same. " I want to fucking rip his tongue out for doing that to Charlie.

Alastor clicked his tongue. "Such disgusting behaviour. I wouldn't have expected any better from those lot."

' Make us both richer then well, your papito- '

' Fuck, nooo. I.. I'm sorry..'

That fucking prick. How dare he suggest something like that to her.

' Not at all, princess... '

He was mad, he was really really mad. And the way he looked at Angel, he was probably going to take it out on him. You didn't know if your heart was prepared for it. "Charlie, you're fucking things up..a lot.." Husk commented, he already had an idea on what was going to happen having a shitty boss himself.

And then Charlie tripped and disconnected a wire making everything go on fire. Valentino glared at Angel and stood up. He put off all of the fire with a swish of his wings that you didn't know he had beforehand.

' Angel, can I see you in your dressing room for a moment? '

Suddenly Angel's hand came and paused it the video. His hand was shaky. He could already anticipate what was going to come. And he didn't know if he would be able to face others after that. After they see him like that.

"Angel, I'm really really sorry. I really just wanted to do something good for you and I -" Angel cut Charlie off with a finger as he turned to you. His face was darkened. "(Y/n), is there any way I can see this? Alone? Please?" You completely understood why he would want that as you nodded and brought out your phone and unlocked it.

" Y-you can watch it on my phone in the other room if you want. Is that okay? " You whispered, feeling scared for him. He grabbed your phone, refusing to look at you or anyone else in the room as he stood up and went to the other room. You called out to Cherri immediately. "Please go to him. I don't want him to stay alone...he might allow you to stay." Cherri nodded at you as she went to the other room.

You looked back at the others who looked anxious. You took a deep breath. "Whatever happens.... let's make sure to give Angel some time after this.." with that, you paused the episode, preparing yourself for the worst.

Angel hurriedly searched up the episode in the other room as he noticed Cherri come in. "Cherri! Go...watch with the others.." he said looking down. "No way bitch, I ain't letting my best friend be alone in a time like this." She said popping down beside him. "We're going to watch this shit together. "

.

.

.

.

' Val, I didn't know that- '

Before Angel could say anything Valentino slapped him across the face with the back of his hand making his eye swollen. You hissed at the impact.

' You really think you can have Lucifer's little bitch fight back for you? '

' Val please I'm sorry she- '

' You'd bring her here to protect you? To fuck with me? '

' Argh, fuck..! '

This whole thing was really really painful to watch. You could feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you watched Angel being thrown around like a rag doll by that motherfucking no good son of a bitch. With every slap and hiss of Valentino, Charlie was whimpering beside you. Tears already falling from her eyes as she held your arm. Vaggie and Pentious was looking away from time to time, not being able to stomach it. This scene was much more brutal and disturbing then the music video.

Alastor also had a disturbed look on his face, his smile cracking slightly from the distasteful sight in front of him. Husk closed his eyes but the sound of Angel's whimpers still rang in his ears. How he wanted to drown himself in booze right now. Even Niffty wasn't enjoying this.

Everytime Val hit Angel in the show, it felt like he was getting hurt in real life. He whimpered and hugged himself close to him. Cherri could feel his pain. She patted his back slowly as to not set him off. She knew too much touch will only set him off more.

' You think she can get you out of work? '

' No, no, t-that's not what I'm trying to do...no..argh- '

Valentino had a firm grip on Angel's neck as he looked down at him menacingly and threw him to the floor. Angel was coughing and breathing heavily, trying to get air back in his lungs.

' You know she can't do anything. I own you. Or have you forgotten that ? '

" No "

Valentino made a smoke collar and dragged Angel up by it. He summoned the contract paper Angel had signed. It was signed in his real name, Anthony.

It wasn't a surprise to you. Angel's real name was revealed in a hunicast livestream before. So was Vaggie's. But to the other sinners sitting beside you, it was a big deal. Charlie was slamming on the floor, feeling helpless for not being able to do anything. Vaggie went to her side, trying to comfort her. Pentious was full on crying as well while hugging his knees to his chest. You squeezed Niffty close to you as waterworks were coming from your eyes.

Angel's situation was worser as he almost began to have trouble breathing. This..this was shown to everyone in the other room. What would they think of him now. He felt so open, so exposed. Even more then when he filmed porn. This was a side he kept to himself. He was an actor. He acted wherever he went. He acted that he was fine and everything was fine. He's got it under control. But now, that won't work anymore. They knew how things truly were. And it scared him. It scared him to know that they could use this information to hurt him even more then he already is.

He doesn't know if he's prepared for that.

' When I say come, you say.. '

' Yes Valentino '

' When I say you're fucking twenty guys before lunch you say.. '

' Yes Valentino '

' When I say you better get that fucking cunt out of my studio, you say.. '

' I-i '

' You. Say. '

' Look Val. She just gets involved in everything. I'll.. I'll tell her to leave. Just don't hurt her '

Charlie let out a chocked sob at that. "It's... it's all my fault....Vaggie.. Angel..he got hurt because of...me.. I'm a monster.." She looked at her hands. Vaggie shooked her before she went too far in her head and cupped her cheeks to make Charlie look at her.

" Honey listen, none of this is your fault okay. You tried to help him. You really did. Things just didn't go as planned okay?" Vaggie embraced and held her close. "But it is her fault in a sense." Husk commented sounding cold and distant. "She wandered into a territory she didn't know about. She lived in hell all her fucking life. She should know how fucked up things can get here. " Charlie let out a another sob. You could feel the tension between the crew rising. Now, you began to wonder if it was a good idea to let them react in the first place...

"Husk if you don't shut the fuck-" " Vaggie please stop." Charlie held out a hand in front of Vaggie's face to stop her from talking. " Husk is right....I didn't understand. I was ...I was fool! " She clenched her fists and shut her eyes. "Charlie -" before Vaggie could say anything you put your hand above hers, moving your head.

You know Vaggie wanted to comfort Charlie badly. You did too. But she shouldn't baby her. Charlie had to learn from her mistakes. Her intention might have been good but she should have learnt when to stay away and when to give someone privacy. There are no excuses for that pain Angel went through for that.

After everyone was a bit settled down, you paused the episode in complete silence. You guys did have a rule, you couldn't go away until the episode was finished. You prayed things will change a bit for the better by then.

' What makes you think you can treat him like that? '

Seeing Angel get thrown onto bed harshly, it was enough to make Charlie go mad. She went into her demon mode. You were excited thinking finally she was about to kick Val's ass but..

' Charlie! Just stop. '

Oh no...angel... please no... please let her get angry.

' You actually wanna help me? Get the fuck outta here. Right now. And let me finish my work. '

That voice crack in Angel's voice there. It was certain that he was trying really hard to not break down in front of her. How long was this supposed to hurt you.

' And action. '

There was a song right after this happened ? Really?

' I'm not above love to cash in

Another lover underneath those flashing lights

Another one of those ruthless nights

Yeah yeah yeah '

Angel wiped his tears as he focused on the song. Listening to the lyrics with his heart.

' What's the worst part of this hell?

I can only blame myself '

That line, it was brutal. It shook you to the very core.

' 'Cause I know you're poison

You're feeding me poison

Addicted to this feelin'

I can't help swallow

Up your poison

I made my choice and

Every night I'm living like there's no

tomorrow. '

These lyrics actually said a lot about him. About his situation. How he knows what he does is destroying him from the inside yet he can't stop it, he's addicted to it. It hurt to look how happy he acted during the song, knowing how fake those were.

' My stories gonna end with me dead

from your poison '

Oh god no. You prayed this wasn't a prediction of what will happen in the future.

' I got so good at being untrue

I got so good at telling you

What you wanna hear

I disassociate, disappear '

Every bit of these lyrics felt like belts hitting you over and over again. You wanted to run to that room and check over Angel, right fucking now. But you knew if you did that, others will come following behind as well and it will only make things hard for Angel. Last thing you wanted to do right now was to make a mistake like Charlie and make things worse.

' Poison, I'm drownin' in poison

I'm fillin up my glass

But it's always hollow

Full of poison, I'm sick of the poison

Wish I had something to live for 

tomorrow '

Charlie hugged you as soon as the last line was over. Both Husk and Alastor had their ears pulled down. Husk felt a strange attachment to him. No matter how much he tried he couldn't shake it off. It's not like he was thinking Angels situation was any better than what he saw.  He knew more them well how bad being under a overlord can be. He was under one after all. He wanted to make him a drink and let him vent to him. It was a weird new feeling.

He never actually wanted that for anyone before. It always annoyed him how people would go on and on after being drunk. He didn't ask to be trauma dumped always . He had his own shit to handle. But right now, he wanted to be there for Angel, show him he wasn't alone. It was stupid. But, it wasn't so bad...He decided, after this was over. He'll go have a talk with him .

' Fukin' Christ. You can drop the act already. It's never gonna work on me. So all your doin' is makin' an ass outta yourself with this fake bullshit. '

' Call me fake one more time motherfucker. I dare you. '

' Fake. '

' Fucking asshole - '

So those little pink dots of his were actually eyes. You never knew that. You were started to sniff a bit quietly now.

' You know how much I'm worth? Haha..you know how many people would kill to have Angel dust come onto them? '

"Angel, he objectifies himself. " Vaggie whispered. "He finds his value in his much he's worth.." her somber voice said quietly. You also understood that. That manic looks in his eyes as he said that, oof...

Later Charlie and Vaggie made Husk go after Angel to make sure he was alright. "C'mon ...why can you guys just leave me alone for a bit.." Angel whispered in the other room, feeling another sense of dread. Was there going to be any end of that today? Why did it feel like this show was targeting him specifically.

Husk noticed one of the guys who was with Angel slip something into his drink. Before that prick could hand it to Angel, Husk shoved him off and dragged Angel out of the bar.

' You just let people drug you all the time? '

' You think I asked for it? '

Oh no, another fresh wave of tears was approaching. Fuck it all..fuck this shit. Husk please do something, anything.

' It's not an act! It's who I need to be. And this? This is my escape. Where I can forget about it all. And how much I hate.. everything. A place where I can get high, and not care about how much it hurts. And maybe if I can ruin myself enough in the process. If I end up broken, I won't be his favourite toy anymore. And maybe he'll let me go..'

You were sure that touched everyone's heart right now. Including Alastor's. The urge to just go and comfort him increased tenfold. "Angel...." You softly whispered.

' I was an overlord once you know...yeah.  And uh,it was nice to have that power. But when you're dealin' in souls, while also being a gambler. The stakes are pretty high.'

Husk was a...what? What's with this sudden lore drop.

' So when you're down in your luck, you turn to anything to keep you afloat. Even making deals yourself. '

It showed a bit of Husk losing to Alastor. So he lost to Alastor in a bet and then sold his soul to stay safe. His grumpy attitude towards Alastor made so much more sense now. Husk grumbled, he didn't want this part of his side shown so abruptly.

' So things look bad

And your back's against the wall '

Is Husk going to sing now to cheer him up? Aww... finally.

' You've lost your way

Ya think your life is wrecked

Well, let me just say,

You're..... correct. '

' Wait what? '

All of you had the same reaction. What the fuck? Wasn't Husk supposed to be comforting him? It did look like it was going that way in the beginning.

' You're a loser, baby,

a loser, goddamn baby

You're a fucked up little whiny bitch

You're a loser just like me. '

"Husk what the fuck are you singing?" Vaggie tried to argue but Husk shushed her. "Shut up, I know what I'm doing."

' But lettin' walls down

It can sometimes set you straight.

We're all living in

The same shit sandwich. '

You knew it. Husk was trying to comfort him in his own way. The song was everything you asked for without knowing.

' We're both losers

Baby we're losers

It's okay to be a. '

' Coked up dick suckin' ho? '

' Baby that's fine by me. '

You didn't miss the way Angel lit up when Husk said he didn't mind the way he was. That he accepted him. And Angel actually felt the same way in the other room. He had a small smile on his face as he cradled the phone close to his chest and watched. At least, he knew he wasn't alone.

' I got no holes left to deflower. '

' I sold my soul to save my power. '

You paused to read the signs a bit. You wondered what 'no balls' signs meant for Husk. He was a cat right. Was he...

' You're a loser, baby '

' A loser, but just maybe if we '

' Eat shit together

things will end up differently. '

You hoped for better future for these two. After this song, you definitely shipped them together. You wanted them to be there for each other and have each others back. The way the danced together was rather adorable as well. Husk knew just the way to cheer Angel up.

Before they could end the song peacefully, it was ruined by the people Husk rescued Angel from. You never saw Husk fight before so it was new seeing this side of him. He had explosive dices? That was cool.

' I told you, I can handle myself Baby. '

With that, Angel brought out all six of his arms and began shooting. You had to admit, that was really attractive of him.

' Cause this guy? Ain't half bad. '

Angel felt his heart pierce beside the other room as he looked at the screen.

' I'm so sorry Angel. I promise I won't ever ever ever ever- '

' Charlie, it's fine. I get it. Thanks for caring about me. '

Angel awkwardly petted Charlie's head as she was squeezing him in a hug. He didn't know how to deal with this situation well, with someone who actually cared, but he tried. Charlie started to cry both in and out the show. Angel picked her up like a cat and gave her to Vaggie.

' Hey, how about that drink? '

' You read my mind. '

And with that, the episode was finally over. As soon as it was, Charlie and you stood up at the same time to look for Angel. Angel slumped down beside Cherri. " What a episode huh? " He sounded rather weak. "Yeah...." Cherri whispered, holding him close now. Before Angel could reply, there were knocks on the door.

" Angel? It's me, (Y/n)... Is it okay I come in?"

Cherri was about to say no for Angel's sake. But Angel stopped her. "I got it toots." He knew he looked shitty. He wiped his eyes and took a few large breaths. He's got this. So what if they saw what happens, as long he can play it cool, it'll be fine.

" Y-yeah, I'm fine. I'll be back in a sec!"

Fuck, he didn't mean for his voice to break in the middle. Hearing that, both you and Charlie felt more helpless. Vaggie and others also followed you two soon. Pentious looked awkward as she rubbed his hands together.

"I...uh, well, tell that spider fellow, uh, Anthony, that if he needs any new gadgets any time. I'll be happy to help! Good night!"

Saying that, he poofed and turned into a snake and slithered away somewhere. Vaggie patted Charlie's head and held her close. Husk stood next to you with a huff. You understood he must be anxious for Angel too just as much as you were.

Husk was leaning on the door. So when Angel finally opened the door, He fell down on his ass with a thud. You were a bit spooked at the suddeness. "..fucking..." As Husk was opening his eyes again, Angel's laughing face came into his view. For a second, he thought he actually saw an angel.... It felt like the whole room's light fell on his face. Suddenly he couldn't handle looking at him as he looked forward.

" Ya okay there kitty cat? "

Angel's voice rang out as he crouched down beside him. "Yeah....but are you...?" He asked awkwardly. "Ye-uff" he got tackled in a bone crushing hug from Charlie crying. You soon joined her and hugged him while also crying. Angel felt trapped, being caged in a hug by two crying woman at once. " A little...help... please..?" He looked at Cherri who was looking at it with a smile.

" Nah, you got it covered." She said while messing up his hair and heading to the kitchen. Angel pouted as he looked at Vaggie. But she also followed Cherri making him sigh. He looked down at the girls. "I'm....okay...you can let go now."

" Angel I promise you when we get back, I'm going to get you out ! Any way possible! I'll talk with my father and-"

"Toots calm down-"

"Angel I promise, if Valentino ever comes here I'm going to squish him like the bug he is!"

"(Y/n) It really isn't necessary.

.

..

...

....

Actually no, do it."

Angel's eyes fell to Husk as he finally stood up and gave him a small smile and a nod. Angel knew how much meant. His smile beamed as well.

Alastor and Niffty were having tea in the kitchen when Angel was finally released from your grasp after a good while later. As soon as Angel stepped into the kitchen, Niffty scurried off from the table and grabbed some cupcakes she baked and practically shoved it in front of his face.

" Here! For you! "

" Uh, thanks Niff... "

" Why don't you join us Angel? Or should I say Anthony now?" Alastor said while sipping his tea. Oh right, his real name was revealed now. " Honestly, I don't mind either of em. Call me what you want, it ain't gonna change who I am. The sexiest motherfucker to ever exist. "

Alastor rolled his eyes at that but soon enough, they engaged in small talk. It was a rare sight to see them both talk so peacefully. But today's episode knocked the wind out of all of the crew. After everyone was fed, everyone proposed to give the single bed to Angel. "What? There's already too many of us. Where's Husk gonna sleep?"

"Eh, don't worry about it. I can turn into a cat and sleep in the corner."

"But-"

No amount of argument was able to sway you guys. All of you made sure he was fully fed till he couldn't anymore. Asked him if he was comfortable and pampered him however you could. He was peacefully tucked into the bed. Angel didn't have to lift a finger.

By 2 am. You all were fast asleep. Everyone slept in the same spot as last night and Husk slept in the corner of your pillow as a cat. It seemed like everything ended well, even after all the commotion.

.

.

.

.

The blue coloured animal was getting impatient and hungry in the pond. Oh so much hungry. There wasn't any fish or anything of the sort it could eat. It tried to go into the land, however it wasn't successful. While it was still able to breathe above water, it didn't necessarily have the limbs it needed to walk on land.

It was determined to catch the first prey it gets. Or it'll have to die starving in this strange world.

A.n: I'm shaking as I post this, lol. Please do remember that I tried my best to be as considerate as possible while writing this chapter. Of course you might think 'oh this character would react more differently ' and it may be true. But what I wrote is what I think they would react like. If you think they'd react differently then you're more then welcome to write about it yourself (⁠•�� ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

Also another thing, For people who would like to visualise how Adrian looks, I imagine him to be a combination of Hinata from haikyuu and Childe from genshin impact.

I've been rereading the first few chapters of this book and god there are so many errors. I'll fix them soon but the main things will remain unchanged.

Hope I did a decent enough job in this chapter (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

Also Eid Mubarak to all my fellow Muslims out there!!

Tag list: @legostars @glowinthedarkbones1150 @darifes @aria-tempest @rainbowcake1212 @luxylucylou

[gofancyninjaworld]

Garou, punishment, and penalties

One of the things that has surprised and outraged a lot of readers about the end of the Monster Association arc in the manga has been Garou's apparent rehabilitation. Exile? No! The Hero Association has let him go, he's gotten fined for dining-and-dashing, has to say sorry to the heroes he beat up, and do some community service. To their minds, Garou is 'getting away with it', and it feels most unjust. Not to mention that there's a sense of frustrated closure.

So, is Garou getting off lightly?

Well, we can't begin to answer this question without some clarity in what we're discussing. There are two related but very different issues here and we need to disambiguate them.

Punishment

I know that this is a word that is very triggering to some people, but there's nothing for it. I'm sorry about that but I need this word. I'm talking about punishment in its most technical Skinnerian sense. Now Skinner boxes are rather narrow places but they're very useful.

Punishment in the most strict behaviourist sense of the term means nothing more than some contingency that decreases the likelihood of a behaviour being repeated [1]. It says nothing about it being pleasant or unpleasant and something is only a punisher if the individual is less likely to do whatever led to that outcome again.

Punishment is all around us. It's not necessarily linked with INTENTIONALITY. For example, if you neglect to check the weather forecast, walk out without a coat and umbrella, and end up miserable and wet, you're less likely to do so again. Was the rain out to punish you? Of course not! You perceived going out without checking the weather forecast and so knowing whether to take a coat and umbrella to have led to an unacceptable outcome, and so you check before you leave.

We thus come to a key point: what constitutes a punishing experience is necessarily individual and context-dependent. There are some experiences that are almost universally seen as intolerable and to be avoided : for example, the proportion of people who will knowingly pee on an electric fence is small indeed. But take an opportunity to work part of a weekend for a modest sum, say $200, at the cost of social time. For a person to whom this money is helpful, it's rewarding, and forgoing time with friends is a price worth paying. For a person to whom it doesn't make much difference, doing that work would be punishing in itself, and losing the opportunity to socialise would be doubly punishing.

Interestingly, what Garou considered reinforcing vs. punishing is nearly counter-intuitive to observe. He relished the challenge. Heck, being beaten up meant that there was something that he had yet to learn and overcome -- which was powerfully reinforcing to him. Even though, in the moment, he could feel fear, frustration, anger, pain, and tiredness, the reward of learning, overcoming, and growing stronger was worth every inch of risk.

...yes, in the end he took it to grotesque and cruel levels

On the other hand, the idea of hitting someone who wouldn't or couldn't fight back was profoundly punishing to Garou. It made him feel like a bully, which was something he never wanted to feel like, and he sought to avoid it.

Even before his run-in with Darkshine, hitting someone defenceless made him feel ill.

Punishment is in the eyes of the beholder. A world without punishment is a world without preference.

Penalty

There are many related definitions of penalty. Let's go with this one for its relative comprehensiveness: "the suffering in person, rights, or property that is annexed by law or judicial decision to the commission of a crime or public offense." [2]

Unlike punishment, penalty is a social construct. There is ALWAYS INTENTIONALITY. You can punish yourself but you cannot penalise yourself: someone has to impose it as a result of your breaking some agreed-on set of rules.

Penalty is an essential part of a functional social group. Even if you call it other names, it springs up spontaneously and the only question is in how well it is managed. For example, say in an online club, one member says something that another member finds insensitive, and the latter calls the former out on it. If the offender pays the appropriate social penalty of acknowledging the hurt they caused and apologising right away, it's quickly water under the bridge and peace is restored. If they don't repeat the offence, the social bond of the club is strengthened, as it affirms that 'hey, this is not a place where we tolerate rudeness to each other.' On the other hand, let the offender deny that they caused harm and even double down, and, unless some stronger penalty is applied by the group, the club can quickly find itself in trouble.

The reason these two ideas are often conflated is that the major intention of penalty is to punish. In a perfect world, penalty and punishment would overlap. That they frequently don't is the subject of many, many studies and books, keeps therapists in business, and nurtures many a scholar through their entire lives. Whether in being so light that it's a cost of doing business (like a $5 penalty ticket for a $20 regular ticket), or so heavy that it's destructive to the offender and is more intended to scare others than to help, or is inappropriate to the offense, or is lop-sidedly applied, or is more a way of excluding a 'weird' person than in restoring any sense of justice, you name it, there's myriad ways in which it goes awry. And yet, it exists. It cannot help but exist in a social world, and it is necessary.

So, armed with these two concepts, let's break the question of whether Garou has gotten away lightly into two components.

Question 1: Has Garou been appropriately punished?

Remember, it is behaviour that is punished. So, has Garou's behaviour changed? Partially!

He has absolutely no interest whatsoever in becoming a monster. Doesn't even think of monsters positively any longer.

The ghost of his future self has come back to tell him to desist from his aim of gaining ultimate power, so that aspect of his behaviour has been effectively punished.

So too have his hero-hunting activities. He isn't hunting heroes any longer, and if he wants to gain skills from matching his strengths against theirs, he intends to ask for a spar, like a decent person.

Ah, many 'screw story, just show me cool fights' fans are drooling over this prospect.

However, he still thinks he's right. He has not renounced the idea of becoming an indomitable force who can impose peace. And that could be trouble.

Question 2: Has Garou been appropriately penalised?

Again, the answer is mixed. Legally, yes. He has been ordered to make the restauranteur he robbed whole. He's been remanded into the care of Bang, who is overseeing his court-ordered work programme -- remember, even though he's eighteen, in this world, he's still a minor. He has (or is in the process of) apologised to the heroes he beat up.

Pragmatically, it makes sense. There isn't a prison that can hold him if he wants out. While going around beating up heroes was an inexcusably shitty thing to do, there are mitigating circumstances to be considered, and he doesn't have a long criminal record, plus he is young. Having him under the care of someone he respects -- and who is strong enough to *make* him stop if need be -- and having him directly apologise to or make whole those he wronged is the least risky way to deal with penalising a scarily overpowered individual.

Are there people who would like to have seen greater penalties imposed on Garou? Hell yeah, you'd better believe it. But they're not going to get it. They'll have to make their peace with it. Yes, Bang advocating for him has meant that Garou hasn't been sanctioned anywhere near as harshly as he might be. But it's also true that Bang advising him is why he's not a fugitive from justice and is actively looking to right his wrongs, however partial that might be.

Where there's going to be hell to pay is if Bang enacts his plan of introducing Garou to the HA as his replacement. The HA *will totally take Garou* -- as Sicchi says, they can't afford not to. But boy, oh boy, will there be trouble.

So after all that talk, what am I concluding? Yes, he is getting off a bit lightly but we have to start somewhere. It's a real credit to Garou that he's been willing to engage with the process of reforming himself.

References

[1] While the idea comes from Skinner's experimentation, this particular definition is the Azrin/Holz one, from Azrin, N. H., & Holz, W. C. (1966). Punishment. In W. K. Honig (Ed.), Operant behavior: Areas of research and application (pp. 213–270). New York: Appleton-Century-Crofts.

[2] definition 1 in: the Merriam-Webster online dictionary https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/penalty. Accessed 26-Aug-2024.

[syrma-sensei]

Somewhere In Your Heart, Ch.6: The New Famous Couple.

Pairing: Soldier Boy x fem!reader.

Rating: Explicit.

Setting: In the early 1980s.

Warnings: smut, angst, power imbalance, misogyny, typical period attitudes.

Word Count: 3.6k.

Summary: Soldier boy lives through the ennui of his peak, but everything is about to change when he has a shift in his heart.

“Soldier Boy seems to be infatuated with you, young lady.”

That's what Stan Edgar, one of Vought's associates, tells you after you've been offered a cup of coffee by his assistant. He has you summoned after the incident with Jack days ago. He dismisses the assistant with a lenient manner. The simple act impresses you; a man in power who's nice to his employees.

You're still digesting the fact Jack was kicked out of company like a dog. You've always thought Jack is invincible. You thought he was untouchable. But here we are, they threw him out like trash. Which means, he apparently isn't. He doesn't have control over you anymore. You're another man's property now. Your body shivers at the memory of Ben telling you so.

You take a sip, casting your eyes down. For some reason, the man behind the desk is intimidating you, more than Ben does. You can fathom there's deceit behind his mask of sagacity. And it's not a good sign. You're sick of being below men as such. You want to be free. But now, you're going to act as one, you have to. Because if you don't, you'll have another leash on your neck like the one Jack had on you.

You force a flattered smile, “I’m just a girl who got lucked out, sir.”

“Indeed,” He speaks with such eloquence, “Considering your status with your previous associate, Mr. Harold.”

A bitter bile rolls up in the back of your throat. You wash it down with another sip of your bitter coffee. He has to rub it in your face. You're practically a whore. However, you hold your chin up, “I’m not ashamed of my work, Mr. Edgar.”

That's true. You're not ashamed you survive this cruel world with unseemly means. You're past that. You had to work to eat, to live after your brother died, leaving you all on your own.

“That’s good,” He nods just so, “Because what I'm going to offer you requires no coy coquetry or sleazy bashfulness,” He adds, “I understand your contract designates you to work for us, whether Mr. Harold is associated or not.”

You give him a nod. That's true; your contract with Vought was with you, not with Jack, even though he was involved before. You scoff internally; all you signed were slavery contracts, whether the one with Jack or the one with Vought. There's no way to sugar-coat this. You're their bitch now.

“I was told you were having cold feet about being Soldier Boy's new public partner.”

Your body flinches again as you recall how he told you you belonged to him now. But from what Edgar just told you, you belonged to Vought now. Neither settle well with you.

“Well, I was confused,” You answer. A lie of course, “I thought Crimson Countess was Ben's girlfriend,”

Edgar chuckles, amused, “Well, they were,” He remarks, “But their popularity as a power couple has deteriorated as of yet. People need someone to relate with, and that is going to be you…”

You take another sip of your coffee, your body fidgeting under his perceiving eyes.

Naturally, Edgar picks up on your visible hesitation. “What if I told you I could offer you payback for your brother.”

Your eyes dilate in stupor, blinking as you absorb the fact he knows about your brother. Nobody knew about him but Jack. Edgar seems to have dug after you, which makes you shift in discomfort.

You wonder how your brother will be avenged. Edgar doesn't mean killing Ben, does he? The man is nearly invincible. He's the fucking strongest man alive. So, how? But the nonchalant confidence Edgar is speaking with gives you a hint that he isn't bluffing. But why? To your understandment, Ben is their most important asset. That's why they're keeping you in the first place. For him. Your mind whirl with questions and qualms.

But the most significant one… You want your brother avenged, but do you want Ben to get killed?

Your heart wrings at the thought of a dead Ben.

But he killed your brother, you remind yourself. But you love him…

Emotions burn behind your eyes, you try to hold them back. The war between your heart and mind is an alien sensation to you. And it's burning you up.

“Please him,” Edgar enunciates, tone nothing but business, “Keep him tamed… and on his toes. And your brother will be avenged.”

“How so?” Your brow raises in inquiry. You're still finding it difficult to picture Ben being taken down.

The tip of your stomach roils at the thought of Ben taking away from you. It dreads you how much effect the man has over you. You can't pinpoint it yet, but you're sure it's nothing like what you had with Jack. The thing you have with Ben is much more… intimate… akin to mutual infatuation. You love him, your mind tells you again.

“That’s none of your current concern,” He answers in a matter-of-fact voice, “When the time comes, you'll be informed.”

Despite your bemusement and your colliding feelings, you nod. You do want retaliation for your brother, but do you want it at your heart's expense? Ben is the only one who makes you feel free, safe, protected. He promised you so. Yet, here you are… discussing betrayal with this man.

“What say you?” He presses again.

You open your mouth to answer, but your ears prick up at the sudden ruckus behind Edgar's office door which swings open, followed by a cry, “Get off me!”

You shift in your seat and you're looking at her. Crimson Countess.

Her eyes are on fire as she glowers at Edgar, then at you, “You’re replacing me with her?!” She utters in revulsion.

“Your point has significantly dropped lately, Carol,” Edgar's tone is unchanging, “And that isn't befitting of Soldier Boy's image.”

Countess snickers, “It’s all about that fucker, isn't it?”

Your eyes furrow in confusion; isn't she supposed to be his girlfriend. Oh, she's now the angry ex-girlfriend.

She lets out a sour cackle, then leers at you, “You think a little bitch like you can handle him?” She grins wickedly, “Well, good luck with that…”

You don't like her gloating expression, then your eyes flit back at Edgar. He's looking at you, studying you. He wants to see how you're going to act. Is this some kind of a test? Is he testing where your loyalty lies?

Well, you don't give a damn. All you want right now is to smack that bitch in the face. However, you deliver it in a different way.

The flashing memories of your brother give you the audacity and courage to stick up.

“I think I can handle Ben just fine. And dare I say better than you did, Carol.”

Her mouth gapes at you; she didn't expect the comeback. For all she knows you're some hooker Ben fetched from the street.

You continue, a sly grin on your lips, “Did you know he likes to go on the fifth base?” You let out a mocking snore, “I bet you didn't. But tell ya one thing… he loves it.”

Countess is taken off guard by your blatant impudence. She never had someone like you standing up for themselves against her, you guess. You don't think ruffling a supe’s feathers is a good idea, but the expression on bitch's face is worth it. You feel, for a fleeting moment, power and control flooding through your psyche, and you savour the vigourous sensation.

Countess seethes at you, then she marches in your direction.

You cower in your place, but you don't run.

“That’s enough!” Edgar's voice hauls her in her tracks.

She stops and glares at him, “You want her to take my place? Fine!” Her voice is filled with poison, “Don’t crawl back to me, begging me to keep him in place.”

With that she left.

And your sudden audacity wanes slowly away.

You look at Edgar, and you don't like the way his lips curl up one bit.

Turns out Edgar had a lot up on his sleeves for the two of you. And you guessed right. You didn't like it.

However, for the past few days you've been true to your words, playing your part perfectly as you should as Soldier Boy's new girlfriend.

You two are eyed everywhere together. On television, on the news, they all talk about Soldier Boy's new human girlfriend.

In other circumstances, you'd take this to heart and revel in the attention and the lights. Frankly, you do to a certain degree despite everything that has happened. Perhaps you are actually happy without Jack in the picture. But what dread you the truth you've been avoiding all those days. You are happy with Ben.

Despite Ben's faults and bad temper, he's been actually nice to you since that day albeit you expected the opposite. For some reason — that's baffling you, he's gentle and tender with you. You can even sense sweet affection underneath his harsh facade.

The truth appals you. You're falling deeper for your brother's murderer.

Ben keeps you under his eyes all the time. On and off set. In his shootings and breaks. He can't afford losing you now he practically owns you.

Ever since that day, you provoked something foreign in his soul. Your tears and vulnerability alerted protective instincts over you. He doesn't know how to explain it… but, the only thing he knows is that he'd kill anyone if they hurt you.

What is this you ignited within him? He's not good at those. Sentiments. Love? He scoffs, he never knew what love is. Maybe what's fucking his system up is? He doesn't know. Again, he sucks at this.

But he knows this, if that motherfucker even thought to get near you again, he'd fucking rip him apart.

Now, however, he's relishing in the moment of the flashes around you both, snapping pictures of you together on a red carpet. He gazes down at you, and his expression softens.

You muster a well-feigned smile as cameras taking pictures of you with Ben. Arm looped through his, you wave at the applauding audience behind the fence.

“Soldier Boy, this way!”

“For how long have you two been dating?”

“Is Crimson Countess still in the picture?!”

“(Y/N), what is it like to be Soldier Boy’s girl as an ordinary woman?”

And it goes on and on.

Unlike you, Ben seems to be used to the attention of the crowd. He revels in it, given how poised and well-adjusted to situations like that. You on the other hand, never had an audience as myriad as this one before. Ever since Vought dropped the song, you've been swarmed by scoops and reporters. Vought — at Soldier Boy’s order — hired two bodyguards to maintain your safety from any overly zealous new fan when you leave the tower.

In fact, you haven't left it ever since they kicked Jack's ass out. You spend your days in the tower as if it's your hermitage of abstinence. Life with Soldier Boy is anything but abstinent, though.

Even though he owns you as he claims, he never lays a finger on you. Of course, you sleep in his bed, but to your stupor, Soldier Boy hasn't solicited anything physical from you. He rather scoops you up in his arms from behind, snuggling his face into your neck. You've grown big on the intimate proximity you two share. It baffles you. He made it clear that you were his property, yet he hasn't asked you anything physical ever since.

Now, is the closest you've ever had with him since Herogasm. His arm wrapped around your waist as he flaunts you off to the press.

Tonight is a charity ball for Vought, and they decided it was a good idea to put you on show for the keen fans. Ben reluctantly agreed.

“How is it being Soldier Boy's new girl?” One of the reporters shouts.

You gaze up at Ben, his face is concealed by his mask. He's attending the party with his supe gear. Your eyes fall upon the reporter then at Ben again. A small grin forming on your lips.

They want a show? Let's give them one.

Your lips are on his.

The crowd roars in applause.

When you pull away, your eyes are half-lidded, staring straight at his.

Then he smirked, whispering in your ears, “Good girl.”

And that makes you shiver. The rasp in his voice sends small shocks of pleasure down your spine.

Ben grins at your reaction, pecking your lips again. The audience blare again in acclamation. You grin back.

Then you saunter into the hotel hall where the ball takes place. Ben's arm doesn't leave your waist as he leads you in. Despite the leering eyes looking in your way, you feel protected by Ben.

You spend most of the time at Ben's side, men and women swarm up to him, each racing to kiss his ass better than the other. Although you find it ridiculous, you maintain a polite prestige.

Ben grins at you, he's proud of you. You're handling those cocksuckers like a champ. You know when to speak and when you let out a titter, mostly at some dull joke of those men. On the other hand, he can't stand the way they're ogling you like you're a bag of flesh to prey on. He grows indignant by each passing moment, his arm pulls you closer to his body.

Ben notices they're starting to wear you out, so he decides to let you off the hook, “Could you fetch me a drink, darlin’?” He flashes you one of his giddy grins.

“Sure,” You grin back, “Bourbon with rocks?”

“Atta girl.” He subtly winks at you, making you blush.

Ben's eyes follow your back as you meander to the large bar.

His head turns back to the men around him.

“Stan was right,” One of them piped up, looking at you from his spot. Ben doesn't like how the man's eyes follow your figure with lust swirling in them. “She does fit better as your arm candy than Countess.”

Ben's jaws grate. You're nothing like that bitch. You're truly his, his pretty little treasure.

He glares at the man, his name is Robert or something… he doesn't give enough shit to remember those men's names. Because they don't matter. None of them does. But he has to keep his cool, and conceal the burning urge to gouge each one's eyes out for staring at you. He mustn't show any sign of vulnerability. Not in front of those douchebags, not in front of anybody.

But the man keeps on pushing his buttons as he says, “Legend claims that you intend to keep this one all yours, is that true?”

Rage boils inside of his body. The fucking audacity. Doesn't this man value his life? Because if he utters another word about you, Ben is going to lose it and bashes the man's head into the wall with no ounce of regret.

Ben's eyes narrow behind the mask of his helmet, then forces a grin, “Damn right he is,” He drawls, patting the man's back. He mustn't show them any weakness, because if he does, they'll be waiting to feast on him like vultures do a cadaver. Instead, Ben opts to another option. “What can I say? I'm a bit of greedy man when it comes to such a catch like her.”

He hopes the scalding glare in his eyes conveys the message.

At the other side of the hall, you're waiting for your drinks at the bar table. Sitting on the stool, you fiddle with your thumbs, until you feel someone accost you from your side. You look up and see a woman who's smiling at you.

“Hi, I'm Lana,” She says, extending her hand.

“Hi,” You say, your eyes momentarily flit at Ben who's across the hall then back at her.

Lana orders a drink and makes herself comfortable on the stool adjacent to yours.

“Here you go, ma'am,” The bartender places your drinks in front of you.

“Excuse me,” You tell Lana as you lift the martini glasses up as you're ready to get back to Ben.

“It’s nice, isn't it?” Lana tilts her head to look at you, “Being the sweetheart of America's sweetheart.” You stop in your tracks and turn to her.

“Can’t say it's not…” You answer.

Lana scoffs, “Are you aware of the man under that mask, Miss?”

Your brows furrow, you don't like the tone she's speaking with.

Lana gives her surroundings a quick scan as she leans closer to you, “A piece of advice… from a woman to woman—”

You cut her off, “I’m sorry, who are you again?”

“I’m Lana Miller of Daily Supes, and I think you can—”

Your eyebrow twitches in indignation, “How did you get in here?”

“That doesn't matter,” She replies, “What matters is that your boyfriend is responsible for carelessly murdering hundreds of people under the term “accidental casualties”...”

You feel as if an arrow of fire sears through your chest.

“You and I can hold him accountable for his crime—”

“Security!” You screech with a high-pitched voice.

The woman's eyes widen as she sees three guards manueaver their way towards her. She draws a card from her bag and swiftly puts it in your hand, “In case you change your mind.”

Then she sets off. However, the trained guards capture her and see her out of the building.

“Who the fuck was that?” You flinch a bit at Ben's voice coming from behind you.

“A nobody…” You say, balling the card up in your fist.

When you both retire back to Ben's quarters, you both are unhinged. Each for a different reason. Ben is set to prove to those pigs, and himself, that you're only his. And you want to forget about everything by getting intoxicated in sex.

Tonight was rough on you and him. You're still not accustomed to the intense attention, and neither is he to care about someone so… immensely. However, you both did your parts after Edgar had a small welcome speech dedicated to you, the new couple at the podium.

You get each other’s clothes off, and your lips are chasing for more and more kisses.

Once you and Ben are nude, he lifts you up only to throw you into the bed and crawling up your body. Panting softly, you look up at him with half-lidded eyes. There's something feracious in his green eyes.

“Mine…” He seethes, lips pressing to your neck, then trailing down the column of your throat.

You moan as he bites.

He pulls away slightly to admire the hickey he left on you.

“Say it…” He demands.

You grin up at him, “Make me.”

Ben lets out a deep grunt, “Say it, woman!”

You can't help but giggle, how can you not, when you keep the strongest man alive on edge.

“You think this is funny?” His hand reaches the back of your head, tugging your hair roughly.

You moan, hissing at him, “What if I do?”

“So you like it?” His voice is aggressive, “Getting eye-fucked by every man sees you?”

You grit your teeth, your eyebrows arching in defiant, “Isn’t that my new job?”

“Oh, no no,” He growls, “You got it all wrong… sweetheart.” You can feel his cock hard against your belly.

“Your new job is to serve me… obey me… be the good slut you are to me, and only me.”

You feel the tip of your stomach roil, and it bolts straight to your throbbing core.

“Then claim me…” You challenge, “Make me yours again…”

And he does.

Needless to say, you wake up with a sore body the next day. Seems like Ben doesn't take it too kindly when he has his buttons pushed on. Yet, you couldn't resist the temptation. You savour his aggressive passion, even if it hurts you a bit. It's worth it. He makes you feel wanted, protected, and appreciated. And even, dare you say, loved.

“Men like him do not love.”

Here it is again, the voice of consciousness reminding you of the ugly truth. You're in love with your brother's murderer.

The warmth of his chest shrouds you from behind. You shift a bit and snuggle up to his hold, resting your head on his chest. His hand strokes your hair, his chin is on your head.

You smile in complacency.

Unlike you, Ben hasn't slept a wink. After you hit the sack in his arms, his eyes were wide awake, his mind thinking about you.

You're making him weak. He hates being weak. Caring for someone makes one vulnerable, and he can't afford it. He wouldn't have it said that a woman turned Soldier Boy into a pussy.

You open your eyes when you sense him moving away from your hold. He sits up, back to you. You frown, touching his back, but one thing you're sure about is the tangible shift of his aura.

Ben glances at you over his shoulder, “Is it true,?” You blink, then he continues, “What we have?”

You flinch at his question.

“It is to me.” You reply after a pause, “Is it to you?”

He looks away. He refuses to show weakness to anyone, and especially to you.

“I’m a man of my word, and I remember making you a promise.” He answers sharply.

“That doesn't answer my question, Ben.”

“I made you a promise, and I intend to keep it.” He says, still not facing you.

“Do you love me?” You ask, voice wavering with emotions.

You notice how his body startles at your question.

Finally, he turns to face you, “Love is weakness and I'm not weak.”

You feel a painful twang in your chest, tears burn your eyes.

Ben looks away again, shuffling with his clothes, avoiding gazing upon you.

“See you later…” He says, and just like that, he leaves. Only then you let your tears stream down your cheeks.

He doesn't love you.

He's not as weak and pathetic as you are.

That pernicious voice whispers in your ear, somehow, it resembles Jack's.

You wipe your tears away, get dressed, then march out of the tower into outside. You make it to the closest telephone booth. You open up the wrinkled card, and call the number on it.

“Ms. Miller? This is (Y/N) (L/N).” You say, “You and I have work to do.”

🦅 Previous Chapter: A Man's Property.

🦅 Next Chapter: Coming Soon

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Taglist: @thebiggerbear, @zepskies, @deanbrainrotwritings, @deansbbyx, @deans-spinster-witch

@venus-haze, @kaleldobrev, @k-slla, @ketchupjasmin, @demodemo909

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[runwayrunway]

THE MAN ON THE TAIL: AN ALASKA AIRLINES WHOISIT

Last time on Runway Runway...

The short answer, reiterated: nobody knows.

The long answer: Nobody knows. A lot of people have no idea or have never even thought about it. Many people have a person in mind they think he resembles, but they know that it's probably wrong. A non-negligible number think they know, but they do not necessarily agree with each other. After the research I have done on the topic, I believe that I do know who this face is, but this is not going to be an argument for my position - merely a presentation of this logo's origins and the theories as to who this face represents, a few thoughts about community and feeling like something is part of yours, and the story of an incredible man.

But first, a content warning, and a disclaimer:

This post will discuss use of an outdated term used to refer to Inuit and Yupik peoples which is broadly considered offensive. It is, unfortunately, inseparable from the story of the face on Alaska Airlines' tailfins. While I have discussed somewhat heavy subjects, including racism, on this blog before, it has generally been in reference to statistics or vague allusions to commonly held offensive sentiments, and I think that discussing a specific word which has caused pain to a group of people requires a little bit more of a specific warning.

Below the cut, there will be discussions surrounding Alaska Airlines' use of said word, with a bit on its broader context. This post is not meant to be a downer, and I don't think it ultimately is. But there is a lot to the story of the "happy face", and there is no use telling the warm and fuzzy parts inside the hood of the parka while ignoring the temperature outside of it. There is so much more to this story than outdated language, but it is still a part of it that can't be left out without overlooking the very people who the tail represents.

I imagine the context of that warning, unfortunately, becomes clear immediately.

Indigenous Alaskans make up 15% of the state's population, made up of various groups of what are called 'circumpolar peoples', who historically lived in the very northernmost habitable parts of the planet - Alaska, Siberia, Greenland, and parts of Canada and Scandinavia. While these groups are broadly somewhat related they are distinct in culture and history.

Alaska, specifically, has over 200 federally recognized tribes, around the same number as is present in the entire rest of the country. (That has its own context, but my point here is to illustrate the diversity of indigenous Alaskan background.) These cultures include the Athabaskan, Aleut, Eyak, and the two that those without personal familiarity tend to think of - the Yup'ik and Iñupiaq. All of these terms themselves further comprise multiple communities, and indeed Yup'ik and Iñupiaq refer to specific groups of peoples from the larger groups of Yupik and Inuit peoples - the groups in question being the ones who live in Alaska rather than Siberia or Canada.

The reason this is important is that it is generally agreed that the face on Alaska Airlines' airplanes is an Alaskan Native, and specifically a member of one of these two groups. A few people apparently assume him to be Abraham Lincoln or Bob Marley or some other famous person (in fact, I am editing this to say that one of the replies to my first post was someone saying they'd always thought it was Abraham Lincoln) but I doubt these theories are ever serious. It would be weird to put a representative from Kentucky on a livery for Alaska Airlines (...which admittedly is based in Washington). The reasons for this assumption are fairly straightforward - it's a reasonable leap from a face surrounded by what looks like a fur hood being identified as Alaskan. But I wouldn't be making this post if the answer was just 'eh, some Alaskan Native'. (And I would find using the generic ornament of an indigenous group as branding more than a little tasteless, in all honesty.) It is broadly thought that this logo is based on the likeness of a specific individual. The question is who.

MEET OUR MYSTERY MAN

So, let's start at the obvious place. He's their logo, so...what does Alaska Airlines say about the identity of this mystery man? Let's take a look at the press release for their 2016 rebrand.

I'll be honest, I wasn't keeping up with airline livery news in 2016. Indeed, I wasn't keeping up with much of anything and I can't recall much from that period. So I...did not know about this, and it took the wind out of me a bit when I learned it happened.

So, let's begin with that term. 'Eskimo'. I feel gross even typing it. This is an exonym used to refer broadly to Yupik and Inuit peoples, though many who use it aren't necessarily aware that the term refers to multiple distinct cultures. I've heard it used for the Alaska Airlines man, and I had always assumed this was out of the ignorance of individual people. I live in the United States, where it's still often used casually (as are a few other unfortunate terms other places avoid - the country seems to have perpetually not gotten the memo, so to speak). In Canada, it is more or less universally considered to be offensive, due to the groups in question expressing their opposition to its use, and this seems to be the general trend over time in the US as well. So while, unfortunately, I do hear people casually say it from time to time, that's mostly annoying classmates. I didn't expect to hear it from Alaska Airlines.

The phrasing, however, is just as much of a problem. 'Our' Eskimo, as a probably unintentional consequence of phrasing choices, implies ownership of not just the logo but the man himself. I don't think I particularly need to explain why some might take issue with this.

And take issue they did. There was a petition! The hashtag #notyoureskimo was started on the website formerly known as Twitter. Anchorage Daily News quotes user angelascox making a statement I think really cuts to the quick of it: "No, @AlaskaAir … you don't own an Eskimo."

Alaska Airlines did listen.

Well, that's..........better, I guess. Unfortunately, it does still use the word 'Eskimo'. And I should note that it isn't universally considered offensive and I've found Alaskan Natives who state that they don't mind use of the term, but these seem to be the minority, and as time goes on it's being phased out further and further. In the context of Alaska Airlines' use, the Anchorage Daily News provides a few perspectives:

Maria Shaa Tlaa Williams, director of the Alaska Native Studies program at the University of Alaska Anchorage and Tlingit, said in an email the broader issue is about the use of "a somewhat antiquated word." "(Eskimo) is a colonial term and it should be: Inupiaq, Yup'ik/Cup'ik, Siberian Yupik or even Inuit, or even generic term such as Alaska Native," she said. Bobbie Egan, media relations director for Alaska Airlines, said the company made the decision to keep using the word "Eskimo" after conducting focus groups with Native leaders throughout Alaska, but she did not have details about those focus group results. "Many of our employees and customers commonly refer to themselves as Eskimo and we've always sought the input and counsel of employees and customers," she said.

I do wish those focus group results were made public, but all the same this isn't particularly surprising. Whenever a term begins to be considered offensive this opinion is generally adopted in a bit of a mosaic fashion, with typically younger people first expressing discomfort and those from different walks of life having their own opinions - some more swayed by the distasteful aspects, while others refuse to let that stop them from using a word they've called themselves their whole life. This is broadly true across all sorts of contexts. I do think it's never an outsider's place to critique someone's choice to use whatever language they feel best represents them, but if there is a large portion of the group in question who find it derogatory we should avoid using it ourselves. There are certainly 'outdated' terms I use for myself but would feel a bit unhappy seeing used carelessly by someone who didn't understand what it meant and was using it, bluntly, because they didn't know better or didn't care to know better. If you are from a group which has historically been derided by others you can probably fill in your own example here.

There are a few reasons for the distaste many have for the word 'Eskimo'. To begin with, it's an exonym. This term was not used as an identifier by any of these groups, but by outsiders to refer to them, and particularly by Europeans and settlers who heard these words from other groups they encountered earlier and then never bothered to ask the people in question what they actually called themselves. Beyond the inherent issue of self-determination, the fact that these were the historical users means that it was often pejorative and othering and ought to be left behind with terms like 'oriental'.

The term is generally thought to have originated from a corruption of an exonym used by one or more Algonquian-speaking groups. The most popular conception is that it stems from a Cree term meaning 'raw meat eater', which people understandably find pretty offensive. There are a number of other theories, and recently linguists seem to most support an interpretation that it is derived from an Innu-aimun word meaning 'one who laces a snowshoe'; it could have evolved from both of these terms or neither, and I don't think it matters when it is already widely perceived as meaning something offensive. 'Well, actually'-ing somebody who says a term is offensive to their ethnic group by pointing out a benign linguistic origin is a pretty pointless thing to do - we've had this conversation before about the name Lufthansa. But beyond that, basically every slur I can think of was once a completely innocuous word that just needed someone to invent a hateful enough way to use it. And people have been using this word rather hatefully for centuries. Regardless of origin, it is a dated exonym, and if the groups it refers to don't feel it represents them that's enough reason for me to stop using it.

The other reason that this term is broadly bad to use is that it's just not a good way of conveying which people you're talking about. 'Eskimo' is generally agreed to encompass Yupik and Inuit peoples, which are two large and diverse populations spread across Siberia and North America. These may be closely related and similar cultures but they are not interchangeable. 'Inuit' has recently seen more frequent use as a replacement, which is at least a step away from the language, but is often outright factually incorrect, as it will be used to refer to Yupik people - who are not Inuit, but are the largest indigenous population in Alaska. 'Alaskan Native' and 'circumpolar peoples' exist as umbrella terms which are understood to be umbrella terms by just about everyone, but there is a legitimate misconception that these groups are all the same because of the use of a single term for them.

Maybe Alaska Airlines uses the term because they think 'Alaskan Native' is awkward for a slogan and they don't want to tie themselves into knots by committing to specifying whether the man is Yup'ik or Iñupiaq. That would be a problem, as they don't actually know who he is.

Beyond the term, there is the issue of objectification on a larger scale than phrasing. Annie Wenstrup, the writer of the petition linked earlier, makes an important point - if the Alaska Airlines man is the likeness of a real person, that person has not been paid for its use. Beyond that, Alaska Airlines is using the very concept of an indigenous Alaskan to market itself. There is definitely a dehumanizing element to it. Alaska Airlines is far from the only company to have ever used ethnic groups as branding, and I think that ultimately it's not my place to linger on this topic. It would be wrong to not mention that this is an element of his story, that people do raise this issue, and that this is a discussion that should be had. I, however, don't have a fully developed opinion. This is a conversation for Alaskan Natives to have, I think - I just don't understand the context of their relationship with the airline specifically, and I have no more ownership of the man pictured than Alaska Airlines. Because he was not an object. There is every likelihood that he was a real person.

WHO IS THE MAN ON THE TAIL?

The website mentions a short film. Unfortunately, the Way Back Machine didn't manage to get it, but it did catch the associated article. The thing this article communicates most clearly is that nobody knows who this man is.

Whether the artists were inspired by [a real person] remains a mystery to this day – both within the company and without – as no official documentation has ever been uncovered indicating that [...] the Eskimo [...] was based on a specific person. Even Alaska’s archivists, a team of retirees and long-time employees passionate about preserving the company’s history, can’t agree.

As someone who is myself studying to be an archivist, I am currently tearing my hair out and flinging tables at people mere decades ago for never keeping any records!!! What is wrong with you people?! Why do you never think of me in the future wanting to know the context of things you probably think are obvious?!

Well, anyway, this might indicate that he's just a generic representation of an Alaskan Native. That would not just be a disappointing answer to this mystery, it would also be pretty offensive. I know that the NFL (an organization known for its racial sensitivity, as I think we're all aware) is a bit slow to catch onto this but I think at this point in history we're all on the same page about using indigenous groups as mascots, right? It's weird and dehumanizing. But that's generally in reference to a stock character based on a stereotype of this group, and often one which is an offensive caricature. Given the percentage of Alaskan Natives in the population, some of whom were certainly involved in making Alaska Airlines what it is, isn't there a chance that this is a loving homage to the group native to the land this airline represents? A way of saying 'this is who this airline connects to faraway places'? I think this was certainly at least the intention, and whether this is still tokenizing, whether the phrasing on the website - a warm, welcoming presence and a reminder of commitment - stirs up an uncomfortable feeling is ultimately a question for Alaskan Natives, and one with a far less unanimous answer than that of outdated terminology.

However, I'll say this up front: he is not a generic representation. He is a specific individual. If he weren't I wouldn't have written a whole post about him.

So let's go all the way back to the beginning. If we do this we find our mystery man was actually not created to be a generic literal face of Alaska Airlines. The intention was not an indigenous mascot, but to represent Alaska's heritage...in more than one way. Mr. Alaska Airlines was once a jellybean.

YOU MIGHT AS WELL PUT HIM ON THE TAILS

image: Vic Warren

In 1972 a set of four new "Alaskana" liveries were introduced for Alaska Airlines' relatively small 727 fleet, replacing the older 'Gold Nugget Jet'. (I will definitely be reviewing those one day.) They were designed by Vic Warren and meant to represent the heritage of Alaska's population, and came in four variants:

"The Prospector" - in red, a miner with his pick, representing the people who flocked to Alaska from the lower 48 during the Gold Rush

"The Totem Pole" - in green, a totem pole design representing Southeast Alaskan indigenous groups such as the Eyak, Tlingit, and Haida - I wish I could be more specific but I can't seem to find the specific totem pole this is based off of

"The Onion Dome" - in fuchsia, today I learned that's actually what those are frequently called! They are meant to represent the history of Russians in Alaska.

And, "The....you know. Him." He's in blue. You may notice he looks a little bit less genial here. , and there's a bit of lighter color detail. No elaboration needed.

It does feel distinctly less tokenizing when there's a white prospector right next to him. In fact, the rephrasing in the quote taken from the archivists is actually because they were referring to both our mystery man and the prospector, whose identity is even more lost to history. This feels quite a bit less sinister than naming your football team a racial slur. It's like if an airline representing Massachusetts (keep reading, Cape Air, this is a free idea for you) had a set of jellybeans featuring a Wampanoag person, a furious man in the process of being given a traffic citation, a whale, a large textile workers' strike, a university-aged Dunkin Donuts employee who can just barely cover the rent at the two-bedroom apartment they share with seven roommates, Giles Corey being pressed to death, Paul Revere, the Harvard University logo, and Tom Brady. It goes from feeling exclusively dehumanizing to

Over the years, though, use of the other three designs dropped off. I'm not sure why it did (well, I can hazard a guess about the Onion Dome) but that's just the reality. Maybe the totem I understand being difficult to immediately identify as a totem when it's in monocolor with little detail on a large plane. I do think it's a bit of a shame - I love jellybeans and I love representing more than one culture in a place as large as Alaska - but I get it, their fleet was small.

As for why our mystery man won the deadlock with the Prospector, that's beyond me, but it almost feels like it was destined given he was the initial basis for the concept at all. Again from Vic Warren:

The first time the Eskimo art was used was in a large newspaper ad promoting Arctic Tours. [...] Since it was a newspaper ad, the initial appearance of the Eskimo was as a large, strong black image. The marketing director at Alaska hated it, even though the ad performed well. [...] A few months later, [I was] given the assignment to create a new corporate image for the airline [...] At this time the airline [...] only flew from Seattle to Alaska and within Alaska. They had recently moved their headquarters from Anchorage to Seattle and were taking a lot of political flak for abandoning Alaska. Our direction from the airline was to “create something very distinctive and modern, yet totally Alaskan.” In retrospect, it sounds easy, but I worked for three months on every kind of jet design I could think of. [...] the airline’s account executive was sitting with me in my office. [...] He stood up and stomped out of the room, shouting, “Oh, to hell with it! You might as well put that damned Eskimo on the tails!” Ta-daaaaaa! [...] I looked at the history and culture of Alaska and came up with four designs [...] But it shortly became evident that the Eskimo was the most popular image. And it was expensive to use all those different designs, so the other three left.

And thus Mr. Alaska Airlines was brought on board properly. And people were very attached to him. The thing mentioned earlier, that the airline was getting flak for losing their Alaskan identity - that comes back later in 1988, when the airline considered replacing him with a logo of a stylized mountain in the shape of the letter A. People hated this new logo so much I cannot even find a picture of it. This attempted replacement was for reasons unrelated to the criticisms I've mentioned earlier - he looked bad when printed small, was difficult to recognize, and might suggest to the people of California that Alaska Airlines only flew to Alaska. People were so incensed about this idea, however, that the state legislature decided this was a problem for them to tackle. From the LA Times:

The Alaska Legislature, which went into session on Monday, will consider a resolution asking the Seattle-based airline not to junk the colorful logo for one featuring a stylized mountain, said state Sen. Tim Kelly of Anchorage. [...] Alaska’s 20 state senators have voiced support for the resolution, he said.

Do they not have anything better to do with their time? No...zoning laws or tax brackets or ordinances? I mean, they've got some experience in aviation, I guess - they did make it illegal to push a moose out of a plane, or to look at moose from a plane. You also can't get a moose drunk. Actually, they have a lot of oddly specific moose-related laws, which I think is a form of environmental storytelling. You also can't wake up a sleeping bear to take a photograph of it. Safety is a priority, though - it's illegal to sell a child a stun gun and you need a concealed-carry permit for slingshots, so their priorities are clearly in important places.

Regardless, one thing Kelly said stood out to me. Emphasis mine:

“It may not be the best representation of an Eskimo, but it’s our Eskimo,” he said. “(Alaskans) feel an affinity with the airline. Alaskans feel it’s their airline.”

Okay, so this could be one of two things: a coincidence (more plausible, I guess, since it's not that weird of a combination of words) or an intentional reference to this statement by the company, which I think I would respect a bit more - a nod to history, all that - but if this is the case it seems quite strange they wouldn't have mentioned it as context for the use of their phrase when apologizing for it. Not important, just wanted to bring it up.

Despite the fact that the airline got a letter of support - “a graphic designer who is related to a pilot thought it was good"- they obviously did not replace him. Vic Warren actually weighed in himself on the topic:

My position was that if the airline’s image was confusing, it was because of the name Alaska Airlines, not the Eskimo logo. If they wanted to be a more amorphous regional carrier they should change their name to a version in the Air West mold or, at any rate, something less specific than Alaska.

And I do think I agree with him. You can choose between being relatable to everyone or having a heritage, making your brand just as much about where you started as where you are. I prefer the latter, but I have the opposite mindset of an airline. I am all about history and expression, and don't remotely care about attracting customers or making money. There is a reason Alaska Airlines doesn't have a tumblr blog.

“The Eskimo is a friendly, human symbol of the north, of the spirit of Alaska,” wrote Satch Carlson, an Anchorage Daily News columnist. “Take him off the Alaska planes in favor of some abstract, hip, meaningless design, you’re taking one step closer to that impersonal austerity that characterizes most other airlines today.”

...wow, so even in '88 they were tired of Eurowhite, it seems.

THAT LOGO THAT LOOKS LIKE MY TIO

So of course they kept the face. He got tweaked over the years - the 'fly with a happy face' campaign adjusted him to look a little bit less stoic, and of course the details were updated as graphics technology improved. But this is The Alaska Airlines Guy now. People are attached to him. An interesting effect of this attachment, though, is that a lot of people are pretty sure they know who he is, and that he's from their town.

People already recognize him as any number of a massive slew of celebrities. I find this extra fascinating because I actually have congenital prosopagnosia - I cannot recognize human faces, and while I can generally identify people in daily life by context like voice, posture, fashion sense, and hair, recognizing people from photographs is far more difficult. Unless I have two pictures next to each other and can compare the individual features it's basically useless - I never get that sort of 'click' of recognition - so it's been really interesting reading all the different associations people had, of which I have seen literally dozens if not hundreds. Reddit user DaBigBird27, in one of my favorite anecdotes, relates an experience where he was told by an LAX employee to look for the logo that looks like "his tio". And isn't it incredibly fascinating how that works? How you can tell someone you've only just met to find the picture that looks like your tio, and they'll know what you mean?

Look, there's something about grandfathers. I don't know what it is. (Uncles too, probably - I don't have any, though.) I hope I'm not insane for saying this, so any other grandfather enjoyers can weigh in, but I feel like grandfathers occupy a certain formative place in everyone's mind. He is one's earliest exposure to an old man and thus becomes their fundamental conception of one. Unless he is phenomenally cruel this ties him together, part and parcel, with the features of old men that can bring you comfort and happiness. I certainly experience this with my grandfather, despite having known him for a really tragically short length of time. If I were able to recognize faces, I think there's a very real chance that I would have thought the Alaska Airlines man was him for a moment.

And this seems extra true for those from Alaska. The Anchorage Daily News continues to provide a lot of anecdotes of locals discussing the universal feeling of proximity to the logo.

Perry Eaton, an Alutiiq artist who is originally from Kodiak Island but now lives in Anchorage, said that some people insist they know the Eskimo's true identity. "It's always been sort of a tongue-in-cheek conversation," Eaton said. "Nobody's gotten emotional over it, it's just sort of interesting. He's very iconic. Some folks are adamant that they know who it is."

“If you’re from Barrow, you think maybe he’s from Barrow. If you’re from Kotzebue, you think maybe he’s from Kotzebue. If you’re from Nome, you think maybe he’s from Nome,” says former mayor Lukin. “I have not met an Eskimo elder who doesn’t sort of smile like that.”

Another piece of writing, although accompanying a story that (as far as I can tell) is fiction, or at least dramatization, contains some context that is definitely not:

By the way, that page also had a lively discussion which included a number of other theories about the origin of the image, a number of people claiming a family relationship with the person depicted [...] Whatever the case, the image has obviously evolved and become less stern over the years. When the image was digitized there were further touch-ups and adjustments made. Most sources agree, though, that a remarkable number of native Alaskan people say that the person: “looks just like my grandfather!”

Even Alaska Airlines' own (archived) website describes this phenomenon.

“When I was a little kid, we all thought it was our own grandfathers,” says former Kotzebue mayor Maija Lukin. “We all thought it was our tata. Even if it didn’t remotely look like our grandfathers.”

Well, let me finally get to the point, because at least some of these people are correct. While he was intended to represent Alaskan Natives as a whole, the man was based on the likeness of a real person. There are two leading theories thought to be plausible. Both were real Alaskan Natives with ties to aviation who lived memorably in the proper timeframe to have inspired the logo.

CHESTER SEVECK

I'll begin with Chester (his full name seems to have been Chester Asagaq Seveck Downey but he is most frequently called Chester Seveck), who is the more common theory. (And indeed the man on the tail is frequently referred to as 'Chester' by people who think this.) The above-quoted Kotzebue mayor, for example, is convinced it's Chester, who was himself a Kotzebue resident. It's a remote place which relies on air travel to provide necessities, and Chester was said to have greeted passengers and crew as they left the airplanes together with his wife. He was often mentioned to be a reindeer herder, but I was afraid that this would be all I could find about this man who clearly was beloved by so many people that to this day he's remembered this widely.

Thankfully, unlike so many people who pass into history with only vague and distant reference to memorialize their full and remarkable lives, Chester Seveck has written a memoir, published by a bush pilot who considered him a close friend. It's called Longest Reindeer Herder and is available in its entirety for free, with the pilot and friend in question, Frank Whaley, including a selection of photographs he himself took of Chester. I really recommend everyone read it. It's not very long but it's extremely dense with information, giving a first-hand account of the development of airborne connections between remote regions from the side that doesn't normally get to tell their story. It also tells a lot about Chester, his family, and the incredible things which happened to him. One that really stuck with me was the time he was shot with a rifle but unharmed, because his parka absorbed the force of an entire bullet! It reads almost like a journal, very matter-of-fact and brief recounting of events which would have at the time been whirlwinds of emotions and little details now lost to the steady flow of history, but all of this was put to paper at once, and it's staggering just how much one life really is, how much we can learn from just some of one man's memories. About him, about the world he lived in, and about reindeer herding.

When it comes to aviation, Chester's experiences are a joy to read. He recounts his first time coming to the US, together with his wife.

Then Jack Whaley take us to Los Angeles. We flew in night time. We saw the lights down under us. I remember when we newly married in the year 1912 July 12th, I was dreaming my wife and I we saw the stars and sky under us. We were above the sky and stars I told my wife. Now my dream come true. 

Eventually Chester, too old to continue his work with massive herds of reindeer, retired and began to work for Wien Airlines, traveling for promotional tours and guiding tours in Kotzebue. He refers to this as 'herding tourists'.

There are stories of the Lower 48, too, of the tours he went on with his wife. He mentions appearing with Steve Allen, Art Linkletter, and even Groucho Marx. He appeared in a minor role in "Ice Palace" (1960), a very poorly reviewed film which also happened to be the motion picture debut of one George Takei.

The final section of his memoir:

For long live and joy life, I believe these things--Keep busy and do good work. Have much good exercise. Eat good food, no waste anything and every day enjoy what it gives and do not spoil this day with much worry of tomorrow. Be happy. I know this way how I be "Longest Reindeer Herder." Start 1908, finish 1954, altogether 46 years herd reindeer.

Chester was undeniably a gregarious person. He seemed to really genuinely enjoy the high profile his partnership with Wien brought him, not for any material gains but because seeing the world and showing it to other people made him happy. He had a high opinion of himself that he wasn't afraid to share but there wasn't an ounce of pompousness in it; he just knew what he was worth. He loved talking about himself and his story - I found at least one other interview he gave. If more people were like Chester I think the world would be a much happier place. I really envy the people who got to have him show them around Kotzebue.

His memoirs were taken down in 1973, and the ending sort of reads as if he's right at the end of his life, but that's not true. He lived until 1981, dying ten days after his ninety-first birthday. He has many living descendants, with 172 grandchildren and great-grandchildren at the time he wrote his memoir. I actually saw a couple of them in the wild while researching, talking about growing up and being told he was the face on the airplanes.

Chester is by far the most common claim for the Alaska Airlines face. People from Kotzebue are proud of this. I saw another Reddit commentor, who has since deleted their account, mentioning their mother telling them about him growing up.

I think Chester is a fantastic person to feature. His connection to aviation and his warmth and kindness, eagerly welcoming tourists into his home village, makes him a fantastic symbol of Alaska. This post has been my favorite to research of any I've written. Reading people's warm memories of BWIA and learning about the incredible history of aviation in Sri Lankan folklore are both things I cherish, but reading Chester's account of his own life was genuinely almost overpowering. I am a history student. Sure, I study public history specifically, but I still study history. I read about history. I read long textbooks, in-depth research documents, and primary sources. I read old newspapers, memoirs, observations by travelers. My sophomore seminar was an in-depth study of remarkably preserved legal documents from one specific witch trial in 17th-century Germany. It's rare that something comes around like Chester's memoir that reminds me how much I adore humans. We have always had so much to give. There is a legitimate debate about the ethics of Alaska Airlines monetizing the likeness of an indigenous group, but I'm happy that they put a face on their tails if only because it means I got to read Chester's writing. I wish more people did.

But there's one other person frequently speculated to be the face of Alaska Airlines, and it would be remiss not to discuss him.

OLIVER AMOUACK

There is less available about Oliver than there is about Chester - at least, less I could find. He appears to have lived from 1895 to 1987, and unlike Chester, who I only ever saw called 'Eskimo', Oliver was known to be Iñupiaq. In the 1950s he was a performer in a travelling show called "It's Alaska!", but that's about all you can find with search engines.

image: Alaska Airlines Corporate Archives This is more or less the only image of Amouack I could find. He's the man on the left. Look familiar? That's not a rhetorical question. I'm face-blind.

That isn't all there is to be found, but what else there is I don't have access to at present. Brenda Ritchey, Oliver's granddaughter, has written a biography of him - "Know the Happy Face: Biography of Oliver Amouak", published 1997. The thing is, this book is crazy hard to get your hands on. Buying a copy is definitely way out of my price range. It's hard to find them for double-digit dollar amounts, and they go up over a thousand. There are several copies held by public libraries but most are in Alaska, which is pretty far away from me. Thankfully, there is one in a collection in New York, and I'm trying to get it on interlibrary loan. If I can get access to it, I'll make a follow-up post, hopefully adding context to Oliver's story like I did for Chester's. Clearly, his granddaughter thought it was worth telling.

Although Oliver is the less frequent claim, a few people are very confident that it's him. And it is impossible to prove conclusively whether it's him or Chester, or neither...or is it?

POINTING THE FINGER

This is where history ends and speculation begins. What you read from here is not fact - it is my own conjecture, made by someone with around a week's worth of research - someone who is literally unable to distinguish human faces, no less - and I encourage questioning it. But I'm going to make my argument: I am loosely convinced that the face on Alaska Airlines' airplanes is, in fact, Oliver Amouack.

The first set of reasons are contextual. Oliver, when he was in "It's Alaska!", was directly employed by Alaska Airlines, while Chester, though he did greet tourists for the airline, seemed to have much closer ties to Wien Air Alaska. If someone was looking for inspiration in Alaska Airlines' archives I think it's far more likely that they would have stumbled on Oliver's likeness than Chester's.

The second is, admittedly, rather weak, but I still feel it's worth mentioning. While the modern "happy face" is smiling, the original Alaskana image was not.

Take a look. This man is very poised, but he's also definitely got a bit of a stern look.

Now, while there do exist images of Chester Seveck where he isn't smiling, they are rare and mostly candid, taken while he's focused on doing something, like herding reindeer or singing, and often faced mostly away from the camera. They also tend to be from when he was younger, which the man in the image is clearly not. Given how frequently he was seen looking overjoyed just to be wherever he was, I find it a little bit unlikely that Chester would inspire an image I would go so far as to describe as 'frowning'.

image: Vic Warren

Now that's a bit more like Chester, but this isn't the original image. Rather, it's a later edit to make him smile, for Alaska's "fly with a happy face" campaign. I find it somewhat hard to believe that, were this Chester, it would have needed editing at all.

I also think that, were he to be the basis for the image, Chester would have brough it up when putting down his story. His memoir is from 1973, and the livery was introduced in 1972 with an even earlier newspaper ad featuring the same image. Chester had the healthiest high self-esteem I've seen in my life and he would definitely have mentioned this with pride. Maybe he was never told, but I suspect if this were the case he would have asked about it. It would be a little hard to not notice your own face on an airplane while greeting its occupants.

There's a major spanner in the works, though. That spanner is Vic Warren, designer of the initial Alaskana liveries, himself. Although it is no longer up, the Way Back Machine has helped me find an old post on his blog, discussing the logo and his design process. When I quoted him earlier, that's where I got it from. And he does kneecap my theory quite a bit - he outright states it's Chester.

Back in 1973, when I designed the Eskimo, an elderly Eskimo gentleman in Kotzebue was working as a greeter for the airline on its Arctic Tours. You got off the plane in Kotzebue and he was one of the folks who came up and helped you into a fur-trimmed parka to protect you from the cold. It was sort of an Eskimo version of the Hawaiian lei. We had photos of him and others during the welcoming procedure. I used one of those photos as the basis for the art. His name was Chester Seveck Downey. Surprisingly, lots of rumors have announced that the art was based on all sorts of people, including Richard Nixon. Once, I heard a story that he was really Bob Marley!

So that should settle it, right? Maybe. Actually, though, I think Vic Warren may be misremembering. I don't mean to gaslight this artist who created an extremely recognizable and enduring logo, but he already states that the design was done in 1973, which is impossible because the liveries were introduced in 1972. He actually gives 1973 as a date throughout the post multiple times, even though I've seen it claimed the design was in the works as early as 1970. The post was first written in 2014, so I think it's perfectly reasonable for your memory to slip over 40 years.

Getting a date slightly wrong and forgetting who you based a logo on are two different levels, but I'd like to further argue my earlier point - if the reference truly was Chester greeting passengers I am absolutely sure he would have been smiling, and I can't imagine why Warren would have changed this in his art. I think it's possible he misremembered, and I also think it's possible he assumed the photograph of Oliver was of Chester somehow. Far be it from me to accuse someone I've never met of racism, but, look, most people fail implicit association tests. I think it is entirely plausible a (presumably) white man contracted by an airline he didn't work for personally could see a photograph of one indigenous man and just assume that it was of a different one he was more familiar with, especially if Oliver and Chester have similar faces, which I assume people who can tell think they do.

I don't think any of that conjecture is particularly convincing. I wouldn't personally be convinced by it. The burden of proof here is a lot higher than 'maybe he was confused'. But what finally swayed me to believing Amouack is most likely our man was a post on, of all sites, the digital sewer pipe known as Quora.

An aside: Quora has introduced a feature where at the top of the page you are given a response by ChatGPT. While this is going to give you an answer of higher quality than many of those provided by the 'human' users of the website, I find the answer it generated for this question both incredibly factually wrong and somewhat disrespectful.

So the most obvious thing is that ChatGPT is misgendering Oliver/Chester. This immediately makes it clear that this answer is fully nonsense to basically anyone sentient, though it still may well fool some Quora users. The 'names' given, Tlingit and Haida, are both those of indigenous Pacific Northwest peoples. As in ethnicities, not individuals. Fred Kabotie was a real person, and a real artist, and accomplished and prolific, and someone you should absolutely learn about, but he was not Tlingit - he was Hopi. As in, from Arizona.

image: Grand Canyon National Park

I am rather confident Fred Kabotie has nothing to do with Alaska Airlines.

What really disturbs me is that, while there is an option to ask more questions in an app, and an option to downvote, there is no place to state that the information given is wrong, never mind to correct it. Even the app formerly known as Twitter has that.

Beyond that, there's no way to give this feedback to the bot. Downvoting isn't the same thing as actual negative reinforcement. This means that there is no way to stop the bot from giving the same answer to the same question in the future, even though it is wrong, and even though in this particular case a major aspect of its wrongness is that it seems to believe all North American indigenous people are one coherent group to the point it considers Hopi the same category as Iñupiaq, which is a bit like lumping together Spain and Norway.

So, not to pontificate, but this is one of the reasons ChatGPT is so potentially dangerous. It can generate text which seems quite a bit like an answer while being completely gibberish, and it could certainly fool people. Deep-learning algorithms, as of right now, are not capable of fact-checking. You should never rely on them for answers.

Besides that, though, there are actual human responses. Most of them are, as you may expect of Quora, total dreck. But sandwiched in between someone who seemed to be under the impression that it's ambiguous if Chester was from Kotzebue or Nome and someone who appeared to believe the term 'prop' didn't encompass turboprops was an answer given by Keith Holmes, whose qualifications are 'knows Dutch'.

That doesn't sound promising, but he actually came with evidence. I'm going to give you the short version, but you should read his answer. Here is his method:

He took the original image of the logo, then flipped it horizontally to match the image of Oliver Amouack from the It's Alaska! poster.

Then he overlaid them and very slowly lowered the opacity. Like, it's torturously slow, so I'll just show some 'keyframes', but that slowness means that even I, faceblind as I am, could clearly see that they line up nearly perfectly.

In the 1970s, this process would have been done with physical paint. But nowadays it's incredibly easy to just up the contrast and lower the saturation on an image. So Holmes (aptly named) did precisely this.

...yeah. I mean, there he is. I think we found him.

AN IDENTITY UNCOVERED

So, there it is. People's opinions vary about who this man is and whether he should be on the tails at all, but I think it's Oliver Amouack. But I want to finish off this post, which has had its ups and downs, on a somewhat open-ended yet positive note.

No matter who this face is, there are people who love him. And I'm not talking about people who love making money off him, or about senators. I mean regular Alaskans. Even Annie Wenstrup, in the original text of her petition, acknowledged that there is a warm fuzzy feeling that people have about him. Though its inclusion is definitely potentially a bit sinister, the Alaska Airlines page discussing the history of the logo released concurrently with the rebrand touches on it.

“When I see that face, I feel proud. I feel like I’m home,” says Sallee Baltierra, a concierge in Alaska’s Anchorage Board Room airport lounge. “I love to see that Eskimo on the tail in other cities that we fly to, from Liberia, Costa Rica to Nashville, Tennessee. It makes me feel like there’s a little piece of home there waiting for me.”

The ethics of how it is done in this particular case are worth discussing, and whether the logo as it stands now should be retired is not something I am in a position to weigh in on. For better or worse the happy face is part of Alaska Airlines' history. The mystery has been put out there for people to solve, and it won't go away if they take him off the planes.

And while there are good reasons, reasons I agree with, that people scoff at the idea of representation being the same thing as justice, particularly when those with no skin in the game are making millions off it, Alaskan Natives are most of the history of Alaska, and they have propped up Alaska Airlines from its earliest days. They have been pilots, cabin crew, ground crew, maintenance, customer service, passengers, and, yes, tour guides. They have been there from the earliest days of McGee Airways, and when Alaska Airlines finally goes under they will be there on its very last flight. There is a difference between acknowledgment and objectification, and that line is not one for me to draw, but it is at least good that the question of who this man is can lead people to the stories of the real people who are so often forgotten.

The fact that I believe the happy face is Oliver doesn't make that reality. It could well be Chester. It could be someone else. It could be your grandfather. It definitely isn't my grandfather, but I showed my mother a picture and she did say that he looks very much like my grandfather...we are not Alaskan Native, I think it goes without saying. I don't think anyone I'm related to has ever even been to Alaska.

But I think there's something positive to be taken from his anonymity to most of the world. There are certainly negatives, the sticking points of profit and objectification, but were it not for the fact that there was a mystery here to dive down I would have never known Chester Seveck existed, never mind read his memoir. I wouldn't have known Oliver Amouack existed either, and I hope I can read his memoir too. If there is any reason for me to 'well, actually' someone who says the face is definitely Chester - and I'm not sure there is - it wouldn't be because it isn't him, but because I want to give Oliver the same recognition.

And I hope other people wonder who the face is, and look for the answer online. My blog isn't very large, and I'm entirely happy with that. I love writing my incredibly niche posts about airlines, and I'm not doing this with any expectation or hope of fame. But given the small amount of articles on the topic I hope that my blog shows up in the search engine results, maybe on the second or third page, and that maybe it can direct someone to Chester's story. I am overjoyed to have read it and I want other people to read it too. His life was a unique and meaningful one and I am grateful that he chose to share it with the world. I am excited to pass it on to all of you.

I set out to find the identity of the man on Alaska Airlines' livery. What I found was the story of a man who touched far more than Alaska Airlines. The happy face could be anyone. He could be your grandfather. He could be (and probably is) Brenda Ritchey's grandfather. In a sense I think, although his literal family should be compensated for use of his likeness, he is your grandfather - not because he is literally your grandfather, but because he carries that poised warmth that so many grandfathers have. I think there is a real benefit to leaving this open-ended - at least enough to keep that mystique that drives people to make that Google search and learn about the overlooked and thought-to-be-nameless indigenous men who make Alaska what it is. Maybe the real happy face was the grandfathers we thought he resembled along the way.

And Alaska Airlines be damned, Chester Seveck herded reindeer for 46 years and had his dream of stars and sky beneath him come true. That's more valuable, to me, than having a famous picture based on you. Pictures reflect reality, but Chester was real, and it is accounts like his which make history human.

[sgiandubh]

I want to ship SC, trust me I do and I love them together, but I just can’t fathom how far they stretch a fake relationship (her and T). Like for example the recent picture of them holding hands- now it’s not an insane gesture but definitely one we haven’t seen before. So maybe they truly are just a private couple. But in my heart of hearts I just love her and S together so much, and don’t know what to think because on one hand they are simply everything together and on the other it seems like she really is with T. I’m confused 🥲 what’s your take?

Dear Confused Anon,

I will be brutally honest: no, I do not trust you and I do not care about your crocodile tears. Not a single bit. In fact, once I will be done with my answer to you, you are most probably going to press CTRL+C, then CTRL +V. And run to the nearest Mordor sweatshop, in the hope one of the Three Sopranos will insult me again.

You see, to trust you, I would have to speak with at least a handle, not a coward in disguise. And then, even DMs are neither always safe, nor always honest - I have recently learned it the rough way, despite my best efforts, tried (and up until now failed) to forgive and will never forget.

By now, I suppose everyone got a good look at this splendiferous picture:

Take a long, quiet, hard look at it, Shire.

So organic it could kill a moth colony on the spot.

So heartfelt - she doesn't even look at him.

So sentimental - that icy smile of hers. A happy couple, indeed.

A general round of applause, all across the Nation.

You are very wrong: it is not the first time they are holding hands, I mean, sort of. The much touted London marathon pic immediately comes to mind - although you'd have to admit, I looked and looked and he seemed to be checking her pulse, rather than being lovey-dovey.

A real private couple would never stoop as low as a cheap, laborious retcon, in retaliation for a couple of thousand people speculating on a niche blogging platform.

It took four years, a month and four days after that Remarkable Week-end to see McSideburns clumsily try and claw her hand. Remarkable, indeed.

And are you trying to tell me the MC didn't shake your beliefs and this does?

This perfunctory, formulaic, scripted AF, blip?

Wow. I have no words, Anon.

That unkempt, bland person - for God's sake, mister, tuck that damn shirt in your pants! - looking like the elephant in the china shop at a carefully curated event celebrating the supreme form of French refinement?

This is insulting, to say the least. To her (and her prized image), to Chanel, to this fandom, to S and believe it or not, to himself, too. Granted, the Berluti shoes are showing some improvement and are now clean. Hmph.

So here is what I think, Anon (and I know people are going to shriek and guess what, I do not care, for once):

It's been at least one year this fandom has been asking for this specific pic and for this specific whiplash. A childish tantrum, as she is regularly throwing. Mind you, that doesn't even come close to the painfully slow, monumentally boring Flukenzie Floozy Saga and looks as staged as the Ochoa & S London sighting (ah, patterns!).

This is the reaction to our scriptwriting ineptitude.

This is also the reaction to some underground shenanigans, directly related to a birth certificate apparently being peddled around. I will not discuss this, yet know just that: this is a legal claptrap, right there. I can, and if needed I will prove it. With the cold, surgical precision Mordor is so afraid of.

But she is a mother, for Christ's sake!

A mother!

As I said, I am not a mother and never will be. I do not wish this trial on anyone. But if I know something about life, I can guarantee you a mother would do whatever it takes to protect her child(ren).

Including taking precisely this kind of sad and forgettable pic.

So, there's that. We choose and we choose now: we fall for it once more and let the playbook fiddle with our insecurities once more and post endless trails of old pics once more to soothe the searing indignation.... Or GROW THE FUCK UP and show to whom it may concern we're not buying this shit anymore.

I know what I'll do. You're on your own, Anon: my tough love took you only this far, down the road. Sorry for the length. It was needed.

For the moment, I just booked an appointment with Miss Fotoula (roughly Claire, hehe), my genius hairdresser. I will ask her to refresh my dirty blonde mane.

[pancake-breakfast]

JJK's got me really worrying about Yuuji's ultimate destination in the story at this point...

Warning: Major manga spoilers through Ch. 259 ahead...

He just feels too perfectly paralleled to Sukuna, and it makes me worry that he's gonna have a very difficult time not falling straight into the same path.

At this point, we know they're related, though I can't say it came as a particular surprise to me. It seemed an odd choice for Akutami to make Yuuji physically resemble Sukuna for no reason, especially when the audience can clearly see the two are tied together via the markings that appear on Sukuna's human hosts. This choice seems even more out of place when we see how Akutami specifically drew Maki and Mai to resemble each other, and Mei Mei and Ui Ui, and Toji and Megumi. So finding out Sukuna and Yuuji are blood-related? That makes sense, especially given how very little is said about his bloodline in a series that focuses so heavily on the passage of power via bloodlines.

It also explains some of Kenjaku's weird breeding plan. Of course he'd (they'd?) want to maximize the potential for Sukuna's vessel to be an adequate one. What better way to do that than to seek out the same bloodline and then force a magically engineered baby into it? (Freaking weirdo....)

But... like... Sukuna wasn't always the way he was. He used to care about people, and have ideals and such, but then all of that was gradually stripped away from him. With its loss, he lost his desire to bother with such things, deciding instead to live for the moment, to embrace his own pleasure and whatever happened to suit his fancy in the here and now.

I can't help but wonder if he was a lot like Yuuji. Someone who's strong, and who loves deeply, and... well, who has a penchant for eating weird things.

Meanwhile, in the story's present timeline, Yuuji is being gradually stripped of everything he values. He didn't mind so much if he died. Not that it didn't scare him. He did indeed blubber like a baby the first time he came face to face with his own death. But after getting through that and seeing the damage Sukuna caused to those he cared about even at such a low power level, he made some sort of peace with it, and from then on (and especially after Shibuya), there are multiple instances where he demands others do whatever it takes to destroy Sukuna should he come out again.

But now, he might genuinely be the only one of the Main Four who makes it out of this alive. Akutami once said that either only one of them would die or only one of them would live, and with one definitely down and things looking, at best, Very Not Good for the other two, it really feels like it's just gonna be one of them alive, and that one will be Yuuji.

How hard is it going to hit Yuuji to lose all of that? Will he still resemble himself if he loses everyone? And he hasn't just lost the other three. He's been losing other supporting cast since Junpei (if not his grandpa), and while he only knew Junpei for a very short period of time, Junpei's death hit him hard. Nanami filled a mentor role for Yuuji for all that time when Gojo couldn't, and after Yuuji lost Nanami (and possibly Nobara), he didn't wince at absolutely tearing Mahito apart. His cold fury and dedication to the hunt became so strong that it left Mahito, someone who had previously reveled in the threat of their own demise, terrified and cowering, seeking help from the one person he knew was still around and more powerful than himself.

And then to take away Choso... who Yuuji had gradually accepted as his big brother, who had stuck by him and looked after him and done his best not just to train but to encourage Yuuji when he most felt the only path forward for him was isolation and death. Yuuji hasn't yet had the breathing room to even try and process the loss of Choso, but it was very apparent in the moment where Choso sacrificed his all that Yuuji, while doing his best to encourage and thank Choso, was devastated.

The devastation has broken Yuuji before. When he saw Mahito take down Nanami and Nobara, he basically lost the will to fight. Todoh might have helped him find it again (much as he's helping Yuuji get back on his feet now that Choso's gone), but what happens if he loses Todoh? His recovery from the Shibuya losses culminated in that cold anger that killed Mahito. If he loses enough now, what form will that take in this fight against Sukuna?

Without Choso or Megumi or Gojo or Nobara or Todoh or anyone else he held most dearly there to bring him back down, what's to stop him from turning his back entirely on caring for others to protect his heart, from just embracing the cold and becoming a conduit for destruction?

It's worth noting he already feels like he's lost his way. Way back in Season 1, in the arc where he and Nobara face down with Eso and Kechizu, Yuuji realizes he crossed an important line he set for himself. He took lives, not of curses, but of beings that were at least somewhat human, and he confesses to Nobara he's no longer sure where the line for murder is for him anymore.

Nevermind that everyone else he knows seems to have already strode past it. It may not have been as important to them, but it was very important to him, and then it was gone.

JJK has never been a series where the day is won by the Power of Friendship(TM). In fact, the Power of Friendship has repeatedly caused people to make some of the dumbest, most self-serving, and ultimately most destructive decisions in the story.

Chances of the story suddenly wrapping up with the Power of Friendship or love or anything else like that saving the day seem... low.

But chances of the story wrapping up with someone embracing pure power to become the next monster that imposes their sense of order on things? That seems possible. Sukuna did it in his day, and wants to do it again. So did Kenjaku. So did the leaders of Jujutsu society, both on a large scale while hidden behind their screens and on smaller scales such as we see with the whole Zen'in clan. A big part of why those same leaders disliked Gojo so much was because he could single-handedly overturn them if he had a mind to fully embrace that monstrous role. A big part of why those same people feared Geto so much was because, without the guarantee of Gojo fighting against Geto, those leaders weren't so sure they could take him down. It's also why they wanted to execute both Yuuta and Yuuji. They've spent a lot of time as the current era's monsters, imposing their sense of order, and they will not give it up lightly.

But now they're gone. So is Kenjaku, and Gojo, and soon enough, Sukuna himself might fall. Who will fill that gap, and what kind of monster will they be?

The story has already described all of the most powerful students as monsters, and that's true just based on their abilities. But what will really determine how monstrous they are is what they decide to do with that power.

At the end of the story, what will Yuuji do with his power, especially if he's left all alone surrounded by nothing but rubble the corpses of so many he cared for, respected, and loved?

Looks like we'll find out soon enough, for better or worse.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Anonymous asked:

Are there any rare pairs you find yourself enjoying? Or ships you hadn't considered before? I think Ace and Malleus would be funny to entertain if he could get passed the intimidation. Just normal boy and etheral prince (giving Connecticut Clerk and Malfina vibes, lol)

It’s difficult to say, Anon, apparently the majority of our ships are considered rare ships…

Ace and Malleus does have potential, the contrast between a normal boy and ethereal prince is always fun + I still think about that one time when Ace called Malleus out during the Halloween event. The boy is ballsy, and with Malleus this is both a plus and a hazard lol

We actually did this chart not that ago, so might as well post it here! It must have some rare ships lol

Anonymous asked:

Does this mean he’ll kiss inanimate objects too? 🤨

(related to this post (I think))

He might! Rook doesn’t discriminate, and Tettere doesn’t discriminate either, so combined they are unstoppable lol

Anonymous asked:

I’m surprised Ace didn’t just hire Ruggie for the hickeys. He seems to have more experience than Epel who seems to vacuum skin up like french fries

(this is about this sketch from ko-fi)

Ruggie is indeed much more experienced than Epel-the-vacuum-sucker, but Ruggie would take money for that, and Epel was kind enough to help just like that! Plus, Ruggie is a senpai with whom Ace doesn’t talk too often, so it’s probably very awkward for him to ask for something like this…

Anonymous asked:

This is a long ask and about dumb takes so feel free to ignore it, but most made me laugh at how absurd they are so I wanted to share.

Tumblr does have some odd takes but I think Pinterest/Reddit has more...not bright people.  NSFW ship art of the 1st and 2nd years always has some people upset that there's kids in sexual situations cause they think you can't have or know about sex till you're 18.  SFW ships between 3rd years and not 3rd years have people saying it's illegal cause adults dating minors is always wrong (people seriously think the only stages of life are legal adult and legal minor.  I never thought saying someone younger than 10 is different than someone going through puberty was mindblowing...  So happy I found an adblocker that hides comments).  Reddit had someone freaking out that Yuu stayed in Leona's room even though Leona's 20 and Yuu could be 16 (existing in the same space as someone a different age than you is wrong now I guess), people taking Malleus' age literally and thinking this non-human fantasy species ages the same as humans so since he's older than 18 he's an adult like the staff are (which had gems such as people saying thinking he's a teen/not an adult is infantizing him and that he may be not an adult in fae years but he's a tax-paying adult in human years), and my favorite, people seriously debating who's on the inter-school spelldrive team and how could they lose with Malleus cause even though he's not in the club there's still a chance to be on the team since one person from every dorm has to join it... (I...I guess they don't know what a sports club is...)

But my top favorite take is from Tumblr:

Someone said they like that TWST's fanservice is always tasteful and NEVER suggestive. (???)

+

Anonymous asked:

An amendment to my ask about dumb Pinterest/Reddit takes.  People think 18 years old dating 16 and 17 years olds is illegal cause the 18 years old is a legal adult and the others aren't

Anon, I am super late with my reply, sorry for that, but honestly this topic is unfortunately evergreen… I wanted to add both of these ask to our replies from yesterday since the topic is similar, but unfortunately ran out of time. I’ll reply to you properly now though~ Thank you so much for your ask!

I am trying my hardest not to start yelling about forced purity again and how it ruins everything for everyone lol At this point it just makes me sound like a broken record, so I’ll try to word it in a slightly different way this time: people (the type that you’ve talked about) reeeeally love using the “this is inappropriate” excuse to police others, and it always freaks me out just how similar it is to a certain other category of people. You know, the type to boils everything down to “I don’t like it, therefore it’s illegal or at least immoral”. I don’t like them using illegal and immoral interchangeably in general because ultimately it’s just them going “this shouldn’t exist because I say so”.

I genuinely think that all those people don’t give a shit about sexy art of the 1st and 2nd years’ characters, they don’t actually give a shit about the 17 y.o. characters being shipped with 18 y.o. characters either, this is just such a convenient excuse to use when attacking someone. It isn’t consistent at all, they ship whoever they want if they really want to, or try to find a way around their own logic.

You mentioned Malleus (that poor thing), and he is actually a great example of that: is he too old to be shipped with other characters? Is he too young to be shipped with Lilia or too old (or too young because “mentally!” he’s 17 or whatever the fuck that means) to be with Yuusona of someone who is over 20? Who knows and who cares, but with these folk you have to care, and don’t you dare to assume that maybe fae’s maturity (mental + sexual) doesn’t relate to their age in a way that human’s does. Or maybe it actually does, so it makes him a 170+ year old senior citizen in our eyes, and us literal 50 year old children in his eyes. God forbid we treat anything with a fun and fantasy approach, god forbid we use TWST as a dollhouse it was intended to be lol No one should give a fuck about any of this.

I don’t think minors should date 18 year olds if that makes them uncomfortable, I don’t think anyone should date anyone if they’re uncomfortable, but those of us who were dating as teenagers once know how weird this whole thing is and how for a lot of people this isn’t a big deal. This transition from minor to non-minor feels very “on paper”, that’s why a lot of teenagers joke around as they turn 18: yesterday I was a kid and today I am an adult. Does it make sense legally? Yes, it is a very important distinction, and a very important turning point. But mental maturity doesn’t work like that: if all of your friends are 17 and you turn 18, you are still of the same age group. Even if they are one school class younger. Katsu and I have a little less than 2 years of difference, but since I started going to school when I was 6, there was a period of time when Katsu was still in middle school and I was already a university student. We made tons of jokes about it back then, and this was exactly what it was: jokes. Because we knew that both of us are kids, and we were even younger kids when we first met and started dating. And this is just one example, tons of people have examples like that.

There are some aspects of life where putting a hard “NO” in terms of allowing people of certain age to interact with people of younger age is a good and very necessary thing, we have this minor/adult differentiation for a good reason. But character shipping just isn’t this kind of aspect: it doesn’t exist. All shipping is fiction. And I refuse to believe that the type of people that you mentioned don’t think so, the more I look at them, the more I genuinely think that they are intentionally lying to cause trouble. People can’t be this dumb (although after reading what you said about the Spelldrive thing I started to doubt that lol they really don’t know how sports clubs work huh).

Some of them also love to use made-up stuff in an argument lol Like people who think that Ortho is 8… or was it 6? Honestly, he ages down every single time the antis try to bring up how wrong it is to ship him with anyone.

Well, at least I can’t say anything about twst fanservice. Can’t argue with that, it is indeed very pure and almost nonexistent… especially this Riddle card <3

[cienie-isengardu]

There is visual storytelling with Bi-Han's frustration with Liu Kang, but story mode does nothing to validate his frustrations at all, making said frustration seem unjustified, and that he's in the wrong for feeling this way, as he's the only Lin Kuei who actually is frustrated. Not everyone saw his frustration, so is the visual storytelling intentional, or coincidental? It's ironic, as Mortal Kombat is not known for its subtlety at all.

In advance, forgive me for starting with introduction-digression about Mortal Kombat 1’s storytelling - I promise it has a point related to Bi-Han.

Mortal Kombat 1’s main purpose is to set the ground for future storytelling so understandably, we can’t expect this game to spell out every detail to us at once right away. We, as freshly introduced guests to Liu Kang’s timeline, take a lot at face value about characters and setting because we simply don’t have enough knowledge about them yet. However I wouldn’t say MK1 lacks subtlety or it didn’t show us a pretty nuanced world already. The best example is the Edenia admired and praised by Liu Kang, as a beautiful, knowledgeable and wealthy place

and indeed the first impression fits well what Fire Lord told his champions. Yet under the gorgeous facade lurks the much darker, uglier side of Edenia - and by extension, of Royal Family. 

When the wonderful and joyful parade was disrupted,

the scene following was there to explain the conflict between Li Mei and the Royal Family, however the visual side of story foreshadows what Baraka’s chapter will reveal - the sick people are treated like unwanted trash. Here alone, they aren’t peacefully led outside the city, they are bound like criminals - both (potentially) sick and those who refused to hand them over to the authorities for "quarantine" (a word used by Li Mei, but as next chapters will shown, the quarantine means banishment and dying slowly in miserable conditions). This one chapter alone gives us two sources about Edenia - Liu Kang’s words and the background details which frankly paint two different pictures. Liu Kang noted how Sindel spared no money for the festival and Tournament (Mileena added it is to honor the memory of Sindel’s late husband and her father)

and how he does not judge the Queen, only admire 

- but apparently the Queen cared more for Festival/Tournament and to make Edenia look as a great nation than she cared for her sick subjects who for years were dying in poverty, excluded and persecuted by edenian society. She even blamed Mileena for getting sick and said that to her face. Sindel also accepts Umgadi system that literally forces edenian families to give up their first daughters for training (indoctrination), so the ruling Family have a loyal Palace Guard to uphold their safety - and power -  and Liu Kang, like most of characters, admired those warriors showing no criticism toward such practices that strips born-free citizens from their freedom, family, even from right to fall in love. All in the service of Edenia’s monarchy. 

My point is, what we are told about Sindel - the beloved good Queen - and what we are shown by details happening in background or brought by tie-in materials (character BIOs, intro dialogues) are not mutually exclusive, but those for sure highlight the contradictory and flawed image the new Mortal Kombat saga introduced in its first installment . However the main criticism toward Sindel is not focused at presented by story flaws and errors, only at her relationship with Liu Kang and Earthrealm and comes from General Shao and his allies. Considering who he is, it is easy to side with Sindel yet we can’t say the game didn’t laid some solid ground for a very serious criticism, both for Sindel, the ruling Family and Liu Kang who always spoke highly about the Queen, King and Princesses.

Now, let’s talk about Bi-Han.

On one hand, intro dialogues and story mode itself are too consistent and repetitive about Bi-Han’s firm take on freedom & enslavement to think it is coincidence, especially for a character so sidelined as Sub-Zero was. Clearly, someone made a deliberate choice to emphasize those two values in regard to motives behind Bi-Han’s action, even if the official BIO itself appointed POWER as his main theme. 

On another hand, there is no doubt that the game was not intended to focus on Sub-Zero’s frustrations nor examine its roots in any great detail, at least not at this early stage of introducing a new timeline. It doesn’t help that Bi-Han was seen in two first chapters, one his own (ch. 8) and in following Scorpion’s (ch.9) to disappear from the story for good and returning as the Champion/Titan Sub-Zero only as an alternative choice of player.

However! Even with such limited focus, the game in my opinion laid enough ground, both as what we are told and what we are shown by story mode alone, to get the feeling Bi-Han’s frustration didn’t come out of nowhere. Could it be handled better? Of course! But I must disagree with the opinion that visual storytelling didn’t do its work. It may not hit fans straight in the face with all its nuances, yet there is a clear difference in how Lin Kuei characters are treated by Fire Lord in contrast to other Liu Kang’s Champions and friends.

And this is not just about Bi-Han, but also about the treatment of Kuai Liang and Tomas. 

For one, the story always presented Lin Kuei doing Liu Kang’s bidding - be it testing the new Champions or eliminating a threat (black op mission). We do not see Fire Lord interacting with them outside of Lin Kuei servitude, while he clearly spent time with Johnny, Kenshi, Raiden and Kung Lao outside of their main (game) purpose. This is especially visible at the end of the story, when all of them dinner together at Madam Bo’s, clearly celebrating their success. Bi-Han’s lack of presence is understandable, yet Kuai Liang and Tomas? All we are told about Scorpion is that he was tasked with making a new clan to replace the rebellious Lin Kuei (thus he is doing another bidding of Fire Lord while Champions are allowed to take a break and enjoy time with friends)

while Smoke is completely omitted - even though the man fulfilled his duty to Earthrealm as any other Liu Kang’s Champion did and now helps to build Shirai Ryu clan. 

Frankly, not acknowledging Lin Kuei in itself contrasts a lot with how Liu Kang interacted with his Outworld friends and Champions. Bi-Han has never been addressed as Grandmaster of Lin Kuei (nor by his codename?), even during introductions to Kung Lao, Raiden, Kenshi and Johnny. Meanwhile, the edenian Royal Family’s titles are always respected. Jerrod is called outright a friend and so is Geras - yet not once in story mode Liu Kang expressed regret over the premature death of Bi-Han, Tomas and Kuai Liang’s father. Smoke actually was omitted all the time by Liu Kang and visually/story-wise speaking, Liu Kang alienated Tomas more than Bi-Han did in the few scenes the brothers shared together.

Even the recruitment of new Champions is questionable. Liu Kang took Bi-Han - a Grandmaster who had his own duties to a whole clan  - on a trip to test the new fighters. Since Bi-Han and his men weren’t fighting to the fullest of their strength, what was the point of dragging Sub-Zero in the first place instead of just picking fighters more closely in level to Kung Lao, Raiden, Kenshi and Johnny? Was Bi-Han’s presence there truly necessary, when already two other sons of the late Grandmaster took part in the test too? All done just to lose so the precious Champions could brag about their victory? That alone must be frustrating if we remember that members of the Lin Kuei weren’t trained to fight the “honorable kombat match”, as in one on one, but to kill the enemy as fast as possible - as chapter 8 and 9 clearly showed.

Sure, the story mode - be it the words taken at face value or visual storytelling alone - didn’t go out of its way to hit us in the face about Bi-Han’s frustration yet there is a clear contrast in how Liu Kang treats his Lin Kuei subordinates and how he interacts with people he openly admires and likes. There are plenty of nuances laid out for people who will bother to look for those hints and compare them to the rest of presented material. 

Also, a thing worth to remember: just because Kuai Liang and Tomas are content with their life and duties, it does not mean Bi-Han shouldn’t be frustrated by things the way they are. Just because he is not trying to be sympathetic, doesn’t mean his feeling of injustice is invalid or that his points have no merit whatsoever.

I may be disappointed with the creators' choices, but I can't say that MK1 is devoid of nuances and interesting contradictions. All comes down to fans and their personal perception of what the story tells us through characters and what shows to actually happening.

[yohanpalia]

fatness in palia

(its gonna sound like i hate palia bc ppl dont understand the concept of nuance, so just to be clear - i decently like the game so far. things can be both good and bad, and some ppl, like me, enjoy analysing and criticising things without hating on the things.)

it rly bugs me that the only properly fat character so far in Palia is someone whos obsessing about his sandwiches and talking about how he always makes sure to eat properly, and *also*, is someone in a position of power who does bad things (the quest where we grew crops for him is the most clear example ive seen so far). basically - the biggest fat man is a bad person who is obsessed with food.

delaila is big, but also falls into a stereotype - shes a countryside mom (often fat in media), and parent characters are generally easier for mainstream fatphobic media to design as fat bc theyre not intended to be attractive in the same way the younger characters are (or older men, see hodari and ashura). i also want to point out that she reads as having a little more of a curvy body type compared to kenli whos more of a big ball, and that none of the female characters read as having the same type of facial fat or double chin that kenli has (which is indeed why im calling him the only properly fat character). its almost as if that kind of facial/chin fat is considered worse on women than on men or something :)) wink wink.

ashura and sifuu are big, but read as "strong and muscular", not "a fat person". which any fat person will know is a significant difference in how you're perceived. (there is also an aspect here ofc of that irl, masculine-presenting "bulky and strong" ppl are often more positively perceived than feminine "bulky and strong" ppl, and that masculinity being seen as desirable in itself affects why "bulky and strong" is seen as desirable where "just fat" isnt, but this is a sidetrack rn.)

elouisa and caleri are... chubby, i guess? i was happy the first time i met caleri bc she had a visible double chin. but, after a bit of playing, seeing that there werent any fatter characters than this who were supposed to be seen as attractive or even good nice people, that enjoyment weighs little. i also again want to point out that both elouisa and caleri have very "smooth" faces, and mostly "conventionally attractive" features, essentially. they are chubby/curvy, but not in ways that would be considered *too* far off from the fatphobic, ageist, sexist beauty standards of society. they also have basically hourglass bodies.

the characters that we are mainly "supposed" to find attractive in this game - the romanceable ones - range from very skinny to "fit". there is even a romanceable skinny robot, notably not a romanceable fat robot (hekla is round, reads as the fat mom stereotype, and is not romanceable - einar is tall and slender and kinda built like a dorito, and, oh, presents more masculine... even robots arent free from misogynist and fatphobic design). there is also a non-romanceable character that apparently both characters in the game and many players find hot, which is a non-fat man, hodari. i note this bc he's presented as an attractive character, and is not fat.

its nice to see an older(?) female character presented as attractive - tamala, however she is very skinny and with an hourglass type build. this is still... nice, i guess, but in the context of the lack of "attractive characters" that arent really skinny, or muscular, or hourglass shaped.....

another related issue is that a very skinny character, jel.... literally says things like "i havent eaten for 3 days". wow! thats lovely! especially together with kenli obsessing over food! and together with an average size character, jina, also mentioning she forgets to eat. that made me feel gross to read, and i dont think its a good choice to put "lol forgetting to eat, relatable content" in the dialogue of characters who are very skinny. this can be a bad reinforcement of society's abuse ("just starve yourself and you'll be skinny and beautiful!") for people with eating disorders and for ppl who struggle with their weight and with their relation to food in general. but *especially* when the biggest character is, in contrast, talking about how hes obsessing over his sandwiches and whatever (and again - is a bad person and also not supposed to be attractive, while jel and jina are supposed to be attractive and romanceable). this is also obviously a reinforcement of prejudice against fat ppl - that fat ppl eat too much, cant control their eating, are always thinking about food, etc etc, while skinny ppl ~forgot to eat lol~.

all in all, if anyone reads this, i just hope ppl can acknowledge and be aware to the fatphobia that has gone into the design of this game, *just like basically every other game*. im not saying palia is worse than other games, bc frankly, most games are like this, and its gross and weird and i hate that. but its still valid to discuss that problem in the context of one game, without implying that its an issue that only affects that game.

i hope that at the very least, they will eventually add in more body types to the character creator that also represent bigger people, and that potentially, we might see some attractive fat characters as npcs in the future. and no, their faces dont need to be slimmed down compared to their bodies to be attractive! they can have unsmooth faces and double chins and wrinkles and still be attractive! and they can have all that and not be men, and be attractive! and they dont need to have hourglass bodies nor to be muscular and strong to be attractive, either!

[ashadowwanderedfar]

Okay, so. Deeply confused being(s?) questioning plurality right now. I'm going to put this under a read more because it's long.

Quick backstory: Have always been aware of two halves of myself. These halves are/were divided on an archetypal line, being essentially light/dark. It became most apparent at some point during my childhood, when my "dark" half woke up in full force and my "light" half freaked out about that. Later on, my "dark" half convinced my "light" half to merge. Over time the line between the two was smoothed over, and so we get to where I am now.

I've come to know some systems through various means, and started looking into plurality to understand them better. Then I was like "huh, you know I think I might have been something similar once..."

So I've been thinking about it and paying more attention, and the more I look into it the more I'm pretty f*ing sure I was indeed two, not one. And it's... Really obvious when I look at how big of a theme duality has been in my life. I chose the name Venn (like venn diagram) ages ago because of it, and the name Grey more recently for the same reason.

And I don't think we ever did finish merging. There are still moments when my internal dialogue is split, with two independant sides. And moments when I feel like my consciousness shifts and I've gone from being my "dark" half to being my "light" half.

There are also little discrepencies that are falling under question now that I've been looking into this. Differences in how I see myself day-to-day, the existence of conflicting opinions and feelings, etc.

Today I woke up, and noticed that my consciousness felt different than it did yesterday. I looked in the mirror and saw a bit of myself, in a way that's usually hidden because of my/our/their??? alterhumanity. I even had the feeling that my resting expression was different. I was going to class and analyzing myself. I thought about my pronouns, and what I prefer. And I think I'm maybe cool with he/they/it pronouns right now? But I don't feel strongly about it. Usually I (we? the other half??) prefers he/xe, having stronger feeling about not using they or it for myself (himself??) And I thought about my alterhumanity. It's not really clear. Sometimes I feel alterhuman, sometimes I don't care and am comfortable enough in a human body, sometimes I am uncomfortable with the idea of having a body at all.

Also, today when I was going to class I was confused because I couldn't remember which room it was in. Even when I found the room, the room number didn't feel familiar even though I've seen it a good handful of times. Do you think this could be related? It's happened with other things before, like forgetting my age or what year it is or who is president. Not sure what to make of this.

And finally, a small tangent. I saw a note for questioning plurals that mentioned a particular interest in media examples of plurality like hiveminds or something. If anything, the symbiote venom feels more like me.

Anyways, deeply confused. Need the thoughts of systems here. I don't know what is going on or what to do with it.

[isa-ghost]

✨️ A (Witchy) AMFMN Update ✨️

Also I finally admit I'm famous at the end, war is over and yall won, come read my confession /hj

Spoke to Apollo about AMFMN struggles just now. I say struggles but that sounds scarier than it is, really I just mean grappling with motivation and the energy to write for long periods of time.

It boiled down to the fact that I won the battle against my grief with QSMP ending and no more ongoing Death Family content, but it cost me my motivation to write. That's not to say that the fic is dying or anything, basically I just need to find a new source of motivation, even if that motivation is myself.

But as long as I stay in-tune with myself and keep at writing because I WANT to rather than relying on something fueling me to keep going, I'll be good. Which is what I Have been doing, it's just not been easy. But that's to be expected.

He ended things off saying don't feel discouraged just because the process has gotten a little harder and slower. If I'm ever struggling with motivation or something else to do with the writing process, I can always come to him for guidance and encouragement.

Tbh I really needed to hear the last part even though I already kinda knew it. I'm not entirely sure how me being cheered on by him and him being SO INVESTED in Phil and AMFMN has looked from an outside pov, but Apollo genuinely has been such a devoted fanboy and a great mentor through baby's first huge creative endeavor in a fandom. I've always stuck to OC and original stuff, so fanfic has been a really interesting and different experience.

Also for shits n giggles I asked him if I'm actually "famous" like everyone's been insisting because I love enabling him to be silly with messages. A while back he actually told me AMFMN was gonna pop off and get popular and stuff like that but I never really felt like it had? And some of my other circle members had echoed this to me too, but I still never felt that moment of like "okay yeah, it's popular."

Surprisingly, the first of two tarot cards he just gave me about "being famous" is actually a legit answer. He was saying don't be afraid to indulge the ego sometimes, it's okay to do that if you're not being a dick about it. I did something cool and I deserve to enjoy the pride I have in the success of the fic. And my refusal/denial to do so is kind of rooted in my broader issue with self confidence and whatnot. So lowkey he's bonking me on the head for Indeed Being Just Like Phil, Who Can't Actually Take A Fucking Compliment Or Praise.

The second card he pulled about it was sillier, since that WAS the intention of me jokingly asking him if he did think I was "a famous author." And of all fucking cards to pull he pulled DEATH. Which is SO FUNNY because *gestures to Phil's ties with death* but ALSO THAT CARD IS GENERALLY SO ALARMING TO PULL?? The gist of what he was saying with it is that if I stop letting self image related bs cloud how I look at "my popularity" so to speak, it'd actually hugely boost my confidence and lead to even more success with the fic. And while he can't confirm it'd get me "noticed" by Phil (as some people have for Some Reason said it should, it's not my goal), however that would go down, that IS a possibility. He just kinda said "take the fucking compliments, idiot. If you stay humble without downplaying things, you COULD pop off to the degree some people are already saying you should.

Which tbh,, I DID have a Phil pegs member recently put in perspective that most fics don't pass 1k hits on AO3. I don't know how true that is bc I Didn't Go Here (fic writing) until I got the idea for the AMFMN, but the fact that it has over 8k hits is apparently a huge deal?? And I guess my newness and inexperience with the fanfic scene just has kept me unaware of that?? So statistically speaking, AMFMN *is* famous? Which I just still cannot fathom LOL.

Idk, it's weird to think about. I legit do feel like just some guy who's simply passionately vocal about This Cool Thing I'm Doing. But I will admit, even if I don't Feel "famous" and can't take praise to save my life, it's been genuinely really sweet to have people drowning me in compliments and stuff??

And if I'm being honest, it really does motivate me to keep going, because it's nice to know that people really really like the thing I'm doing. People theorizing and being invested in the story has been the #1 thing making AMFMN so fun. I LOVE watching people try to work out what's gonna happen, when I'm foreshadowing, and yelling at me when I nuke them with angst.

I guess that's a long-winded and self-reflective way of saying thank you to everyone who's been so ride or die about AMFMN so far. Like seriously. It's hard to actually Process all the love but it means the world to still receive it??

But yeah, uh. God says I'm famous guys. Guess I have to admit it now. /silly

Anyway, AMFMN may be slower to update (for now) but I do absolutely mean it when I say it's not gonna die. I am legit too excited about shit I have planned to let it happen.

I wanted to finish Chapter 7 by yesterday but Shit Happened and so I'm gonna try to aim for this weekend instead. If I remember correctly I don't have any plans Saturday so,,, PauseChamp

Also as a quick note, I was gonna say this in the tags but it should actually probably be seen by people: #AMFMN things is the tag I use to save my own posts related to the fic on my blog, BUT if anyone wants to, or is already making theories, art, shitposts, memes, or just generally posting about the fic, I DO check that tag sometimes to see if there's anything not from me. So uh. If you haven't used it already, definitely feel free to use that tag for your own stuff related to the fic too, I will be looking. I 1000% want to see anything and everything people might be saying or posting. It's by far the most rewarding part of writing the fic. :)