#you got Pranked

[gurlbur]

"suicide jokes make your mental health worse!!!" then how about you kill YOURself!!!

[higher-noon]

Was anyone going to tell me that Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London, was the one who narrated Slay the Princess, or was I just supposed to feel bad for thinking all British guys reading horror sounded the same by myself?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Cruel and Unusual Punishments (the PSA episode).

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[columboscreens]

[itslilacokay]

HE GOT OUT GUYS NO WAY (this is a definitely real ava 11 screenshot)

[mystilotls]

The escalation from "I'm going to graffiti motivational quotes" to "I'm going to play obnoxious sirens of my voice everytime you get close" to "I'm going to unite with the server to bury you alive with your home, and I'm going to plant trees so it looks like you were never there" is certainly something.

[biblically-accurate-dca]

happy april fools here's a dumbass drawing i never finished

[confused-alien]

hhhhhh but what if everything was fixed and Joker was fixed and he was no longer Joker but Jack Napier instead after Bruce talked with him an actual meaningful emotional conversation (after Alfred sat him down and lectured him about his complicated bottled up feelings towards him) and made sure he gets regularly doses of therapy afterwards (with him accompanying him) and he tried another go at being a stand-up comedian and he was extremely successful and everyone laughed at his jokes and he laughed with them because he was genuinely happy and sometimes he’d end up having to pause mid-stage to wipe his eyes from tears of joy and then when everyone claps Bruce would be in the crowd somewhere and claps the loudest and they got married and shared custody of Robin together and Alfred slayed as a father in law and and wasnwjkwo

[genshin-impact-updates]

The "Mondstadt Tourism Revitalization Project"... Has Gone Bust!

"*sigh*... Looks like I completely underestimated how much this project would end up costing... I don't even have enough to get it off the ground! But as long as I pull out before it's too late, there's still a chance I'll be able to recover my losses and try again some day... Please, take this, and support me next time too!"

Claim Reward (Primogems ×40): https://hoyo.link/5hAiFLAL

*Rewards can be claimed before April 3, 2024 23:59 (UTC+8).Please head to the web page to claim your reward as soon as possible.

After claiming your reward on the web page, it will be sent to your in-game mailbox. The mail will expire after 30 days, so don't forget to claim your reward in time.

[hello-eeveev]

Now that Bells Hells know that Caleb is Essek’s partner, this seems like the perfect time to share the lists of things bh knew about Essek, Caleb, and Essek’s partner that I compiled in order to write Above All (and continued to compile afterwards). I focused pretty strictly on what was confirmed explicitly by the text, but there are a few notes outlining what I thought might be reasonable extrapolations for the Bells Hells to make that would lead to them linking Essek and Caleb in their minds. Enjoy!

What Bells Hells Know About Caleb Widogast:

- Chetney, Orym, Imogen, Laudna, and Ashton met him and Beau at the Tishtan Excavation Site

^ c3 names Caleb knows: Laudna, Chetney (wolf form only)

- He wears a deep purple scarf (that info is just for me tho)

- allied with planerider ryn

- friend to the grim verity

- has been following Ludinus for many years with the intent of taking him and his inner circle down

- was part of the team that damaged the shadowfell key

- has been up against other Cerberus Assembly membys

- he used the word dunamis, but they have no clue what that is. they ask, and he gives them a very basic rundown (note to self: compare to Essek’s?)

- Obscure reference to the beacon that aligns with what Essek says in 95, but there’s like, nooooo chance they could put that together. also not a defining characteristic.

- has “someone on the inside [of the assembly]” who had to back away

- seemed to know a lot about the Cerberus Assembly

- admitted thorn in Ludinus’s side for quite some time, to the point that Ludinus uses his first name and wanted to gloat about his victory to him (and Beau) specifically

- metagame knowledge that Beau is with the cobalt soul, thus aligning Caleb with them

- using context clues, they correctly assumed origin is Wildemount, Dwendalian Empire

- Allura is familiar with him. some of his and Beau’s allies have been in contact (Essek???) (probably cobalt soul let’s be real) (but Essek did say he was an ally to the exandrian accord, so it’s not impossible that he has made some contact with allura, whether she knows of Essek or not)

- Zemnian (presumed by accent, usage of “nein” and “ja”)

- Had Jester relay messages via Sending (either doesn’t have sending, doesn’t have it prepared, or no spell slots)

- sent an archivist of the cobalt soul to escort them to Aeor

^ extrapolating backwards: Keyleth said that she would contact someone who had researched in Aeor, and when this person was unavailable, she said they would send an archivist in their stead.

^^ this archivist was Seth Domade, who was announced as “sent by a Widogast.”

^ extrapolating forwards: Seth is revealed to be Essek. Therefore, Essek and Caleb know each other and have both researched Aeor.

- is Essek’s partner :)

What Bells Hells Know About Essek Thelyss’s Partner:

- Zemnian (presumed by “gesundheit. I learned that from my partner as well.”)

- has followed/is following the Cerberus Assembly’s machinations

- told Essek a bit about Predathos, implying that this partner is privy to information that is largely kept hidden away

- kind and smart and so strong (of heart)

- Essek talks to him before bed

^ could we make an extrapolation that Essek wanting to preserve spell slots to talk to his partner implies that this partner does not have access to Sending? It’s a bit of a stretch, and not one I think any of the bells hells would be able to make with their limited knowledge of the mechanics of magic beyond their own capabilities

- was with Essek in Aeor when Essek got wild magicked into a fish

- carried Essek while he was a fish

- is “one hell of a person” (paraphrase of Ashton, confirmed by Essek)

- has a tangled history with the Assembly

- is a man

- a powerful practitioner of the magical arts

- teaches on occasion

- his name is Bren (Essek what do you mean, I’m going to kill you)

- is very intelligent

- would have brought the Bells Hells to Aeor but he was busyyy

- is Caleb Widogast :)

What Bells Hells Know About Essek Thelyss

- sent by Caleb

^ whether or not they were paying attention to that fact is up for debate, but it’s possible, and the information was available to them

- disguised as a Cobalt Soul archivist

- fugitive

- formerly of the Kryn Dynasty

- is the reason Ludinus has access to as much dunamantic knowledge as he does

- reformed in his dubiousness

- first name basis with an assembly member, but doesn’t like the assembly

^ tbf Astrid doesn’t seem to like many members of the assembly either

^ Astrid only cooperated with the interrogation because of Essek’s connection to an old friend

- has been to Aeor, and the genesis ward specifically (we know why)

- defaced a bit of Aeor :)

- used to manage a dynasty outpost in Eiselcross

- turned into a fish in Aeor

- has a tangled history with the Assembly

Side note: Caleb, Allura, and Essek’s explanations of dunamis [50, 76, and 95, respectively] share a lot of similarities in structure and verbiage. And Allura mentioned that she has compatriots more knowledgeable about dunamis and the Dynasty [76], which just makes me fully believe that Allura knows Essek too, not just Caleb.

[somecunttookmyurl]

best prank my nan ever pulled was getting my granddad a pack of 100 cigarettes (if you've never smoked, you can buy 100 packs which is 5 packets of 20 encased in a plastic wrap, or a box)

she very carefully unstuck the outer covering and slid out all the packets

then she equally carefully undid the individual plastic wraps on the packets from the bottom (again, if you've never smoked, there is one of those little pull tabs at the top to take the top part off, but the bottom is folded over and stuck)

doing this without ripping the plastic is very difficult

she slid out all of the packets from their plastic gowns

she very carefully opened each box so as to not rip or damage it

she carefully folded back the inner paper

she removed every single cigarette

in one box, she replaced the contents with candy cigarettes

and then, painstakingly, she slid each box back into its plastic wrap

re-folded and stuck the plastic at the bottom

put them back in the outer plastic, with the candy cigarette one at the bottom (so as to be last) and restuck that

and gave the cigrarettes to my granddad

[stellar-collective]

*slides into asks*

so yknow how you do requests... and i will overthrow several small to medium sized nations for ollie... and ikkkkk you already have a comic for him but pleaseeeeeeee 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

ANOTHER OLLIE FAN WELCOME *throws this scar headcanon piece i did a while ago but never posted at you*

[daily-crabbys]

Today's cat is: golden shine

[one-awesome-beetle]

listen

jontim is my wolfstar and I need people to understand that ok?

[oneluckygoose]

Ok I’m not a BitchKiller shipper and I never will be… BUT

Hear me out: they’ve never dated, never hooked up, never really talked, never even thought of each other that way.. and yet.

You can’t tell me they don’t interact with each other like crazy exs. Like for sure every other sentence is some personalized dig, every look they share is full of hatred and despise and crazed anger, they hate each other and they’d be at each other’s throats in an instant even though they’re forced to interact because of Reg. EVERYTHING they do fucking pisses the other one off (“Honestly, transfiguration doesn’t hold shit to potions. Like wtf are you doing to do with a cup that was once a rat?” “Why don’t you shove your fucking stir stick down your throat along with some fucking blackened toad testicles and choke on them so you can shut up for once, Crouch” “Oh I’m sorry, didn’t know you were in the conversation Mr ‘McGonagall’s fucking lapdog’” “And what are you going to do? Stir me clockwise three times? Maybe invite me to the Slugclub ‘cause Merlin knows that’d be the greatest form of punishment.” “You couldn’t even dream of going.” “And thank the Lord I don’t, sounds even worse than my usual nightmares where I have to tolerate you for more than three minutes.” “CAN YOU TWO ACTUALLY SHUT UP?”), like no matter what they say there’s something wrong with it. They have a habit of saying things that kinda make it sound like they’ve hooked up but no one can actually tell (“Last fuckin’ longer than Junior over there can”; “Please, anyone’s hair is better than that black rat’s nest, try to pull it and your hand gets stuck”; “Can’t stand tongue piercings, all you can taste is metal, I feel bad for Rosier.”; “Animal track tattoos, Reg? That just as basic as your brother’s paw print ones.” “He has paw print tattoos?” “You just can’t see them.”) They also have no qualms about vaguely referencing things from like four years ago that no longer have significance just to prove a point (“Crouch you can’t plug your ears for shit: you lost to a baby mandrake screech.” “THAT WAS IN SECOND YEAR YOU WEREN’T EVEN THERE!” “History repeats itself.”; “Says the guy who once called Professor McGonagall ‘mum’.” “I didn’t even say it loudly how did you hear that?”) All of the people outside the friend group thinks they had to have dated but no one knows when and no one can get an answer from the others (it’s honestly starting to seem like they don’t even know). The rest of them, especially Regulus and James, are so fed up with it. Remus facepalms constantly, but Evan’ll reward a good remark on Barty’s end with a bite.

[phoenixcatch7]

Bit of a shame I left hp before I entered svsss because one of my favourite tropes at the time was 'dumbledore calls in External Support from different fandom during ootp and they show up to grimmauld to help (and utterly upstage everyone in the process)'.

And needless to say Sqq, at any point, would have been perfect.

Like. He's a teacher too. A scholar. Secretly from the modern world so he'd have no trouble with its intricate and mysterious workings, incidentally making himself look very cool and competent in the process. He'd have So Many Opinions. He'd incite bloody war with umbridge. He'd project his feelings for sj onto Snape with a side of commiseration for his role and fate. He'd mostly pretend to know so much less about hp than he actually does (which, hilariously, he canonically name drops in svsss, AND his system is pretty heavily implied to have previously worked in, like wow). He'd be constantly comparing Harry with lbh. He'd have a running internal dialogue bemoaning the world building, the characters, Harry's fate, the general decision making process, maybe some death of the author. Geeking out about magic. Raiding the library whenever he's free.

He might bring his students as part of an exchange, he might bring a fellow peak lord if it was a serious mission (liushen anyone?) he could bring adult lbh. Maybe sqh? Or sqh could be the messenger with the system and/or mbj.

A self aware character who couldn't live with himself if he didn't at least try to change Harry's fate whether or not he actually likes the kid? He could canon that divergence before you could say horcrux. That kind, oblivious, smoking hot exotic teacher who had people ruining their lives for him in a world that was used to people that pretty and also hated him specifically?? The hogwarts students wouldn't stand a CHANCE.

Man the scenes are coming to me so strongly I almost want to write it just as a like. Satire piece or something. Just Sqq ripping everything to shreds, accidentally or not. Diatribes on the author biases. Unintentional themes. Iffy world building choices. Nothing new, but through the lens of svsss' Sqq it'd be something for sure XD.