#like: tf you think i dated this guy
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oneluckygoose · 12 days ago
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Ok I’m not a BitchKiller shipper and I never will be… BUT
Hear me out: they’ve never dated, never hooked up, never really talked, never even thought of each other that way.. and yet.
You can’t tell me they don’t interact with each other like crazy exs. Like for sure every other sentence is some personalized dig, every look they share is full of hatred and despise and crazed anger, they hate each other and they’d be at each other’s throats in an instant even though they’re forced to interact because of Reg. EVERYTHING they do fucking pisses the other one off (“Honestly, transfiguration doesn’t hold shit to potions. Like wtf are you doing to do with a cup that was once a rat?” “Why don’t you shove your fucking stir stick down your throat along with some fucking blackened toad testicles and choke on them so you can shut up for once, Crouch” “Oh I’m sorry, didn’t know you were in the conversation Mr ‘McGonagall’s fucking lapdog’” “And what are you going to do? Stir me clockwise three times? Maybe invite me to the Slugclub ‘cause Merlin knows that’d be the greatest form of punishment.” “You couldn’t even dream of going.” “And thank the Lord I don’t, sounds even worse than my usual nightmares where I have to tolerate you for more than three minutes.” “CAN YOU TWO ACTUALLY SHUT UP?”), like no matter what they say there’s something wrong with it. They have a habit of saying things that kinda make it sound like they’ve hooked up but no one can actually tell (“Last fuckin’ longer than Junior over there can”; “Please, anyone’s hair is better than that black rat’s nest, try to pull it and your hand gets stuck”; “Can’t stand tongue piercings, all you can taste is metal, I feel bad for Rosier.”; “Animal track tattoos, Reg? That just as basic as your brother’s paw print ones.” “He has paw print tattoos?” “You just can’t see them.”) They also have no qualms about vaguely referencing things from like four years ago that no longer have significance just to prove a point (“Crouch you can’t plug your ears for shit: you lost to a baby mandrake screech.” “THAT WAS IN SECOND YEAR YOU WEREN’T EVEN THERE!” “History repeats itself.”; “Says the guy who once called Professor McGonagall ‘mum’.” “I didn’t even say it loudly how did you hear that?”) All of the people outside the friend group thinks they had to have dated but no one knows when and no one can get an answer from the others (it’s honestly starting to seem like they don’t even know). The rest of them, especially Regulus and James, are so fed up with it. Remus facepalms constantly, but Evan’ll reward a good remark on Barty’s end with a bite.
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hercarisntyours · 1 month ago
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i want there to be like a cybertronian stan twitter or smth and half of it is just people thirsting over optimus and the other half is like, stan twitter shit
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royaltea000 · 9 days ago
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I like the human actors a lot too! (I say as if the actors weren’t initially human)
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dirtbagdefender · 7 months ago
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oceanwithouthermoon · 1 year ago
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the way some people in this fandom are convinced that saiki kusuo is an emotionless robot is sooo funny to me
seen so many posts being like "u guys r mischaracterizing kusuo by making him be affectionate toward his partner and friends >:c" ??? WHAT ???
its not mischaracterization you dinguses.. he shows affection with words a lot in the series, and the entire series happens BEFORE he accepts that hes allowed to love and have friends.. so literally what makes you think he would be totally apathetic towards a romantic partner or to his friends further in the future??
"stop making him cry in fan media he would never do that >:v" WHAT ARE YOU ON BRO HE LITERALLY CRIES IN THE SERIES... just because sometimes there are situations other people think he WOULD cry in and you dont agree, doesnt mean its mischaracterization, it just means you interpreted kusuos relationship with the situation or the situation itself a little differently ?
i once read a comment that had a lot of people agreeing under it that said he would never cry in front of his partner and wouldnt cry if his brother DIED and wouldnt cry if he got BROKEN UP WITH? im genuinely convinced that some people in this fandom are so far up their asses that they genuinely believe kusuo is like an abusive boyfriend tf is wrong with yall
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i-like-books-and-women · 5 months ago
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Okay so I haven't listened to the book in the past couple days but there's this line from one of Zach's chapters that I can't stop thinking about cause it's like "good God that's so fucked" he says something along the lines of "I might have to work to transition from cute to hot but Rubens already there" and potentially in the same line but also maybe not cause I don't remember he says something close to "I have to make the switch from cute to hot if I want to have a career" which is like? Like it's so gross dude. Zach and Angel are barely 18 like tf- like yeah sex sells but Jesus christ what in the fuck. And then like the internalized issues?? Like it's not quite the same vein it's similar tho. I've always been "the fat kid" since I was in elementary school and let me tell you comparing your body to your friends' is literally the quickest way to start resenting them and hating yourself. Quite literally chorus was kinda pitting them against each other and started instilling body image issues in very impressionable teenagers and then was like *surprised Pikachu face* when they were all starting to show signs of depression and anxiety and started fighting and started doing dumb shit and drugs to try and cope.
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hoshigray · 1 year ago
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Guys, guys....would you hate me if I said I'm already planning an enemies to lovers Gojo series for February + Valentine's Day?
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bisaster-energy · 10 months ago
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im not even done my current kuwameshi fic and im already getting ideas about new ones...
#kuwameshi#give me a sec i'll reblog later with the actual idea but like#WHAT IF UM KUWAMESHI BUT UM. PRINCESS BRIDE AU...#i also have another song fic idea but it's way sillier than the one i have on ao3#based off you me and steve by garfunkel and oates#i got the idea cos i just remembered when yusuke got back from training with genkai the 1st time and instead of a 1 on 1 date with keiko#kuwabara is also? there? and it's just so funny to me like what. and then they're supposed to all 3 go to the movies together?#AND WHEN THEY GET THERE THE 2 BOYS DITCH KEIKO?? for a mission yeah but she doesn't know that!!#and then yusuke and keiko actually go on a date alone and it gets interrupted cos of younger toguro#and shortly after kuwabara shows up so it looks like he was bound to come across them??#as far as a i remember the next time yu and keiko get together alone is the day he tells her to just wait and she's like im literally#not gonna wait for you <3 and it was so funny she just walked off lmaoo#anyway im trying to say i wanna make a silly little fic addressing the fact that keiko is like. pursuing her crush on yusuke#but kuwabara is kinda just. always there and it's fun she does like him but it's just awkward#planning on having her ask kuwa to maybe give her and yusuke some time alone like maybe just avoid their next outing#and kuwa is like oh damn :( ok good luck and yusuke shows up to the date and he's like woah wait. where tf is kuwabara?#keiko is like bruh. and she makes up some shit about him mentioning that he felt sick or wtv and yusuke is like ''then y are we here?#i should check on him. i dont think that guy has even been put outta commission by anything but my fist!'' and keiko just follows him#cos what else can she do. and kuwa is fine ofc and yusuke is like bro what gives i thought you were sick and kuwa is dense sometimes but he#catches on from keiko's desperate look and he's like well i got better *flexes his arm* and yu is like i knew you were too dumb to catch#a cold. and he's stupid happy that kuwa is fine and can come with them after all ''hey he's fine ya hear that keiko''#and then keiko is watching this whole exchange eyes blown wide open and she's like actually i just remembered i have plans#you two should totally go without me tho and yu agrees so easily that it just solidifies that she made the right call#kuwa is looking back at her all confused and she gives HIM the good luck thumbs up. he gets as red as his hair and#yusuke is worried he really is coming down with something
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silverselfshippingchaos · 5 days ago
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the fucking rage flowing through my veins right now...
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juno-stuffs · 5 days ago
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i really want to get into pjo, hoo, etc. but every single time i'm about to i get scared off by something that dissuades me. like. gods damn it.
#at first it was just because the series was huge (for me anygays)#and then the writing style just didn't really itch my brain right#and then i was gonna suck it up but then i heard about the portrayal of the gods/their priorities#then i wanted to get into it again since i like the concept and shit#but then i saw a bunch of stuff that made me think: 'wait why the fuck are they so powerful they're just demigods wtf' but mostly with perc#like wtf you mean fucking pyrokinesis and fucking flying? even heracles just had super strength how do they have that naturally?#unless they don't#which mb then.#then it was calypso getting with a fucking seventeen (or sixteen) year old (i forgot). she's not mentally a teenager. she lived those years#also how did calypso get treated well but circe got done so dirty#speaking of#why does circe turn guys into guinea pigs now? why not just keep it pigs?#back to the calypso thing#if lester is apollo (i think he is) isn't it weird he tries to get with reyna?#like she's seventeen#tryna strike a chord out here gods damn#also#forgive me if i'm wrong but i don't think reyna should have that many surnames if she's from puerto rico?#i dunno i might be wrong so big sorrys if thats the case#why does every female character end up in a relationship or end up joining the hunters?#like just let them be teens and not date but not need them to swear to celibacy?#like i don't think leo needed a diddler gf (i dunno if RR changed her age or not since i heard he added a curse or smth i dunno)#i think he needed therapy#like holy shit#and also i would not want to be part of the main pjo friend group#like why tf is everyone dating everyone#one breakup and that shit is a drama cesspool#....so yeah#i really want to get into it since i do really like the concept#...please don't crucify me?
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snekdood · 7 days ago
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i think not sleeping with men just to punish them isnt gonna change them but i also Do Not blame women at all for not wanting to date or fuck cis men when so many of them apparently lie about their politics just to get some.
#i Do think dating a guy who might be secretly rw (if you think its safe enough to do) and showing him how your politics dont reject#guys like him he just doesnt understand it bc rwingers are liars about what leftists intentions are and also a lot of the loudest#left wingers are dumb assholes that repel people#-i think doing that can be helpful but... it really depends on how much his desire for vengeance controls him and if he actually gives#af about other people enough. bc some people are just okay with people suffering.#esp as long as they get to imagine themselves with all the power- which is what the alt right promises them.#if they're too consumed by vengeance and/or dont give af about other people enough i dont think theres much you can do to save them.#like someone like nick fuentes or however its spelled idc enough. he actively shoots his chances at ever being with women by being#as nasty of a piece of shit he is. if he just like. gave a marginal fuck about anyone else and stopped being a piece of shit people might'v#actually considered being with him but at this point hes willingly tarnished his own image basically ensuring it wont happen#its like he LOVES pouring salt in his own wounds idgi.#ive been known to self sabotage myself but my excuse is trauma and bpd. tf is his#what is the goal. what is the long term plan here.#i do it by not posting my passion project bc im too scared of ppl being too judgemental. wtf is he doing it for?#i think he just hates himself????#as im sure all rw incels do whether they're honest with themselves or not#when i self sabotage at least all i have to think about missing out on is not as much attention as I could have. hes like SPECIFICALLY#shooting himself in the foot over ever being with women again lmao.
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scruncheduppaper · 5 months ago
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ultrakill fandom is gonna hate me for my opinions
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I’m bored so I made a new shipping bingo ask game
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fortunatefool · 6 months ago
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Not to date myself but sometimes in the middle of a crisis u get to hear Pursuit of Happiness (Nightmare) by Kid Cudi featuring MGMT and Ratatat, Steve Aoki Remix and feel joy for the first time in a week and a half
#my stuff#its the little things ig#idc if the lyrics are depressing it makes me wild out and i love it#my ex robbed me and i kicked him back to his apt 1.5 weeks ago#and apparently he didnt know we broke up (i didnt block him i had his cat and still have his stuff)#so i think im giving him a lot of fucking grace for stealing a paycheck 2 weeks worth of work for his drug habits when im going hungry rn#i sent him this long heartfelt text using my therapy communication skills to clearly outline that we are not dating anymore#and he just doesnt accept??? he keeps saying we have to work thru this and the drugs did it not him blah blah blah#like dude ive seen my own mother suck dick on the living room couch so she could buy another 8 ball and not give me lunch 😑#tf makes u think im gonna put up with that shit now????? dumbass#i keep waking up sad and weepy still but i just tell everyone i know abt what he did and they tell me im better than that and i feel better#i told 1 patient at work shes my fave. little old korean lady. she brings us a bag of fruits every week and is so fun to talk to#when she ices afterwards she asks for extra time and we chat a lot about our lives. she was so sad for me and kept telling me#that im so pretty and so nice and men will take advantage babygirl im so sorry that happened to you!!! 😭 i told her im fine now#and told her how im seeing my family more again and doing whatever i feel like whenever i want and looking towards my future and she relaxed#but that ones going to stick in my head the most. if i took him back id be letting her down. i almost cracked today like a spineless coward#but hearing her seem so hurt for me and say that i didnt deserve it felt so genuine. ill miss her#i took my last dab today guys no more until i ged paid 2 more times but as you can see by the tags getting away from me#it was a good fucking dab lol
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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 months ago
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GUYS… 💀
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Skully J. “I greet you with a kiss” Graves
You wake up in his arms after blacking out
Calls you “my dear” and “lovely”/“wonderful” even though we literally just met
Comments that your names are beautiful
Offers to escort you (well, Trey technically) through the woods even though Skully has no idea where tf he’s going
Remarks that it would be nice to hold hands and stroll through the forest together
He tends to use the term "fated" to refer to things he has in common with others
Is the first character in all of Twst to have a BLUSHING face
He holds your hand and kisses you (on the back of it??) without even waiting or asking for your okay (avert your eyes, Grim…)????
HE ALSO KISSES GRIM AND ALL THE OTHER BOYS ON THE HAND
HE KISSES YUU MULTIPLE TIMES THROUGHOUT THIS EVENT
HE WALKED OUT OF a DAtinG SIM 😭
Other Skully facts:
He’s taller than Malleus (not including the horns, just judging by the models) and Sebek (stated explicitly in the dialogue)
He’s is a first year student
He’s 16, same age as the other first years (though Skully only recently turned 16)
Speaks very respectfully, even to fellow first years (Riddle remarks on Skully being very gentlemanly and even Vil calls Skully elegant)
He refers to himself using an archaic form of “I” (wagahai)
HE’S AN OTAKU FOR HALLOWEEN, he calls Jack Skellington “Jack Skellington-sama” and says Jack is the person he admires the most dbsksbsiqguzvs
Skully asks everyone else call him Jack-sama too
He comes from a small isolated fog-shrouded rural village; it is located at the bottom of a valley
His hometown considers Jack Skellington the founder of Halloween; Jack Skellington is not known outside of this village
The people in Skully’s hometown love Halloween and its founder, Jack
He seems to be sleep deprived???
Skully tries to tell others at his school about Halloween and Jack, but his peers don’t listen and get mad at him
Skully doesn’t like to talk about his school (and seems to actively dislike it, calling his classmates fools and asking to avoid the topic of school)
He self-admits to not having many people who understand him
Confirmed a mage (Leona says he has the same amount of magic as Epel), but he doesn’t have a magical pen/doesn't seem to know what they are???
He doesn't know Malleus either.
Skully claims he was also sucked into the book while attending the used book fair in Foothill Town
Chunibyo?? Like, he presents as mysterious initially but actually has very excitable reactions to things, lots of purple prose too
Leona calls him a BADGER
He calls his classmates “worthless” for not understanding/listening to him
He thinks lowly of those who disagree with his opinions on Halloween; there is a drastic shift in his personality when the NRC students express dissent
Skully’s ideal Halloween is solemn and desolate, involving: beating up all ghosts, painting rooms entirely black, no decorations, and no music
This is how his village spends Halloween, in solemn silence; Skully grew up thinking this is how it always is
He likes classical music and opera
He acts gentlemanly because he believes Jack is also a gentleman
He wants to learn piano someday
Skully believes that staying traditional and respecting and protecting the past is important
Details about his unique magic
(Side note: GRIM’S NEW oUTFIT 👌 He looks perfect in that suit!! LOOKS At HIS WIDDLE PAW gLOVES… And the chest fluff sticking out gives the illusion of a cravat! Aaaaaah, so cute 💕)
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povlnfour · 1 year ago
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ HOW DO YOU TURN THIS THING OFF? — LN4
pairing: lando norris x girlfriend!reader
summary: fans love when you make appearances in landos streams. it’s usually because he doesn’t know where something is, and the internet goes crazy over their favorite certified himbo. on one stream, you get a taste of your own medicine when lando tasks you with turning the live feed off, and fans get a little more of an insight into your relationship
genre: established relationship, humour
ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just tweeted
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ user2 just made a thread
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ landonorris just posted a photo
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liked by yourusername and 406,409 others
landonorris dinner date then stream, be there or be square, 6pm
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maxfewtrell did she have to show you how to use a knife and fork too?
yourusername i definitely had to show him how to fill my wine glass up when it was empty
user PUT Y/N ON THE STREAM WE WANT MORE Y/N
user if he comes on in a dress shirt i’m Dead
user oh they’ve all definitely seen the thread😭😭
ੈ✩‧₊˚ user just posted a thread
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo
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liked by landonorris and 108,654 others
yourusername this time it was my own stupidity that let the secret out. and i didn’t have to show him how to propose! he did it all on his own accord!
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user YOU’RE SUCH AN ICON
user only lando and y/n could accidentally expose their own engagement
user THE CAPTION😭😭 she really has kept him alive all these years huh
user ‘i wouldn’t want to think of a life without you anyway’ now if that’s not meant to be than what is
landonorris i love you
landonorris really quick whilst we’re at it,,, where tf do we keep the spare phone chargers?
yourusername oh.. oh baby. i’ll be home in 5
————
a/n: hELLO! so the snippet from this got over 200 notes and i couldn’t wait to post it because you all loved it so much!
for the rest of my wips, check out the wip game linked in my pinned post!!
all of your feedback over the last few days has made me so happy sjdjsjs, any thoughts please feel free to send i am having so much fun creating for you guys. i seriously appreciate every like comment ask and follow!! anon emojis are now listed in my bio so if you wanna chat a bunch, have a look at what’s free !
- giselle
taglist (found here): @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicora @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @minkyungseokie @paolexsstuff @celestialpato @champagnelovers101 @loxbbg @hobiismyhopeu @tsukishitm-a @moonypixel @champagneproblems17 @ironmaiden1313 @lqvesoph @sunflower-golden-vol6 @six-call @skatingiswalkingincursive @peqch-pie @m0cha-bunny @woozarts @he6rtshaker @iluvvmeeee @goldenalbon @izzy-marvel @lucyysthings @lichterfee @tallrock35 @treehouse-house @iloveyou3000morgan
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kalims · 11 months ago
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he's a ten but he...
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premise. sometimes certain bad habits of theirs make their overall rating just a tad bit lower—besides the fact that they keep doing it.
characters. dorm leaders
content. gender neutral reader
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malleus (doesn't have a sense of space)
"look beastie, that flower is a native of ours,"
"I agree mal, but I didn't think you taking up the entirety of my seat will make me see it better,"
he blinks, then shrugs.
like i said, has NO sense of space.
if an average person would make an excuse to constantly be in physical contact with who they admire, then malleus is the complete opposite. well, not entirely but he doesn't even bother to construct an explanation as to why he's literally sat over your seat when you coincidentally get put in a table together.
if you start questioning him about it the most you'll get in a very outright 'because he wanted to.' it's not even one of those sarcastic replies he's 100% serious!
cause he believes there's no use in lying about things to be honest.. to further emphasize that, if he ever acts like he does hold fondness for you that surpasses the platonic meter but doesn't mention it he probably hasn't realized yet.
if he did he'd already walk over and bluntly tell you about it.
(I wish I could be that unbothered.)
lilia thinks it's the cutest thing though. you swear you see flashes of light for a split second from the ceiling but when you look up there's only a suspicious swinging chandelier.
^ totally has his own album full of pictures.
if malleus ever discovers it he won't even be disturbed, probably would ask for a copy 💯
since human lives, and their bodies are so fragile he'd taken it upon himself to protect you from harm. even if it means trailing behind you everywhere way too close for comfort, or standing a bees wing away.
while he is respectful most of the time, he's encouraged if you don't comment. if anything, he seems pleased you dont seem to be bothered! (and it'll get harder to tell him to stop when he's so happy the more you let it happen..)
"child of man, have you slept?"
*starts leaning his body forward, to squint at your eyes.* practically right in front of your face.
"WTF."
not even a warning or anything! but atleast he's concerned?
idia (won't even show up for anything and insists a 'virtual' date is better.')
user: where tf r u??
ghoul666: WDYM? at the dorm?
user: IVE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR 20 MINUTES
unintentionally stood you up 💀
you literally have to tell him that you're waiting for him to arrive at the specified area you discussed where your date would take place but would end up vastly irritated when he questions if you guys even did.
ghoul666: we do??
user: I'm taking my minecraft bed away from urs.
ghoul666: NO PLS
ghoul666: HELLO????
next time you log in minecraft it's probably because he begged you to play, you WILL end up seeing some kind of structure that probably took days to make. that's not even the entire thing cause the inside is entirely decorated to your taste.
in short: he constructed some kind of venue for a wedding.. even changed his skin to wear a tuxedo 😭
though he has sparked your pettiness, hence the ignoring him period. even you have got to admit that it's freaking adorable...
big sign, emphasis on please: Im sorry pls put ur minecraft bed back I can't sleep w/o u and I have to wait entire days for it to turn into morning :(
with what he's built you're sure it's 65% true.
if you do end up forgiving him, few weeks later attempting to schedule another date will only end up in naught.
ghoul666: can we not go there
user: 😐
user: you are testing my patience love
ghoul666: 😓 (he is screeching about the term of endearment part btw KABSJAJSAJA ortho would enter his room very concerned.)
ghoul666: how abt
ghoul666: mimic together? call
user: sighs
user: I'm only agreeing cause I want to spend time with you
queue more screeching from his end that you're completely oblivious to.
the only screeching you're gonna hear though is when you guys do get into call as you play, and it's mainly out of terror when his soul gets sent to the void ascending when the entity pops out of a corner and starts chasing him.
"I GOT THIS. ILL CARRY U THIS IS FINE" *screams again* but really wants to impress you so he pushes through.
unsurprisingly does carry you.
asks to match avatars right after (idia love languange)
vil (frets over you way too much.)
"vil, did you see the chocolate in the freezer?"
"oh, that? I noticed that you've already gone through the ideal number of bars this week so I took it upon myself to make sure you don't go sick on me,"
"I love you but please give it back—"
"I love you too, and no."
disclaimer: he does this for your own good 😜 (average mom excuse.)
looks out for you more than he does for his own dorm residents. everyone is wondering where he ran off to after class, especially since he's the one that scheduled the pomefiore meeting every fridays!
and to think he was the one getting irritated over the more newer first years for being late..
*shows up literally half an hour in*
why you ask? you simply shouldn't have texted him about abandoning your daily walk together through the gardens in favor of catching sleep since you called in sick (you're suspicious if crewel really did go in to check for proof, and not concern.)
vil's really feeling the absolute regret of not checking his phone during classes.. well, he only saw the message which was coincidentally sent like somehow ONE minute after the lecture started and he's only seeing it 59 minutes later.
oh you poor thing!! though the lunch break is short, he has about 5 minutes for a trip to the mirror chamber..
you'd think the 'seen' icon below your message was a weird omen for something you're not sure but it must be doom cause vil is right at the front porch of your crappy dorm. at his own expense?! looking more disheveled than you've seen him before.
if a few stray hairs was disheveled at all. more importantly, he still looked drop dead gorgeous!
you probably looked quite terrible with the blanket draped around your shoulders looking like you just crawled out of your grave, because he looked absolutely mortified at your state.
"oh great sevens.." he looked like he was faint, huffing and fanning himself with his hand. "look at you, why didn't you tell me sooner, darling?"
you blink, swallowing to make your throat less dry but your voice still comes out raspy. "I did, like an hour ago—" without your invitation whatsoever, he steps in. promptly shutting the door behind him (which surprisingly still stands sturdy.)
vil takes a hold of your shoulders before reaching his hands upwards to tilt your face around. "you should have sent earlier," he says. you keep in the comment that you were sleeping during it, and you told him about it during second period so.. "your face is so pale."
you sigh.
"yeah, I just saw. I know, I look hideous right now."
vil frowns at you, stopping to angle your face at him. "don't ever say that. I always find you beautiful even if you are.." he glances at you from face to toe, then back up. "sickly."
"... I feel offended."
"hmph, shush now. let me draw you a bath then I know something that will boost your system."
after much coaxing in his end, you reluctantly take a warm bath in the hopefully hygienic bathroom. true to his word, vil did... concoct something. though it looked pretty the random steam that flew from it was really suspicious.
the residents don't dare to question, except rook of course. who already knew what transpired! :)
epel: 😃 (atleast vil wasn't around.)
"roi du poison~ tell me, tell me! is the trickster well? have you cured them with your love?"
"rook, you have 5 seconds to get out of my face."
rook giggles away.
kalim (thinks money will buy anything, including your forgiveness.)
"here!" there's a suspiciously bright smile on his face as he hands you.. some keys?
you deadpan, jingling it in your hands. it weighs heavy than the average, probably because of the fact that it's literally made of gold. "... kalim what is this?" you emit a sigh, from suspicion and concern.
"a gift!"
"wait why does it say lot 111--"
as you can already, that was an actual, literal house. which you imagine would probably be a lots more grand, and new compared to your old baby ramshackle.
but you do love it despite it's love for falling apart at the most inconvenient of times..
fighting with kalim was rare but it was hard to even argue with him because the notion of disagreements are so bizarre to him that he unintentionally doesn't treat you seriously with your concerns, accidentally downplaying them aaaand now you're upset.
after the ranting to jamil about how you must be busy with a lot, since you haven't even talked to him in the past 2 days. all it took was a side glance to his friend in denial and jamil immediately knew.
"what do you mean they're mad!? D:"
"just.. go apologize, I don't want to get caught up in this."
if his definition of an apology is buying you an entire house...
( ^ it is btw.)
kalim really doesn't mean any harm. he just really wants to sate whatever anger you held for him <- maybe he's overthinking it but it's kalim so he's 99% sure it's his fault! even though it hasn't even been confirmed from your end he'd probably accept it whole heartedly.
he wanted you to talk to him again so badly that he wouldn’t mind showering you with houses... since your living situation doesn't live up to your kindness (sorry ramshackle love u xx)
you know what. he wouldn't even notice he's the reason you're upset at first even though he's been asking around on who put you in that mood. despite himself being the perpetrator but he didn't really know that did he?
the only reason he does is because he assumed you were just because you avoided him like some sort of.. cockroach! (he dislikes those.) and he couldn't take it anymore.
was probably 1 sec away from barging into your dorm which wouldn't take a lot of effort since one ram to the door would probably break it.
bless jamil for jailing all the carpets so kalim doesn't find them.
even if said carpets fling him off when he's riding them.
"kalim, why would you buy a literal house... and you also got a rare address paid--"
"for them! ;D"
"... you do know they'd be more offended by the fact that you'd try to replace that.., ahem. dorm, right?"
"oh... should I buy them a vehicle then?"
you only promise to forgive him once he takes back the keys, and the house entirely...
(grim begged you to keep it, 'house for him apparently.')
azul (keeps trying to offer you discounts thinking it's a good excuse to have you over.)
"I assure you. you'll find no deal better than this."
"I'm not even that hungry for sea food, actually I'm craving some--"
"you're in luck then! ahem, it's 26% off due to a special event for today."
pro tip: keep insisting to eat at other places cause he's gonna keep increasing the discount by 2% until you eventually relent. once, you made him go to the point of 75% off, it's almost hilarious if not for the fact it only worked once.
now he won't go last 50!
ahem. if you look closely you can almost spot tiny cracks accumulating with each denial you respond with, and each increase of his discount. he's grown to be wary about the bullshit 'lucky' promos you just happen to stumble on.
last time you did he practically lost a week's worth of the presumed income he's predicted cause you actually went around and told your first year friends about it... who.. in turn told some, other friends of theirs about it and you could guess.
love must hurt.. and unfortunately it's his wallet wailing.
but azul is not so easily swayed by this! for you have swayed him first! *wink wonk*
but azul has another trick up his sleeve... keeping on roping jade and floyd into it; whom are far too enthusiastic cause finally— something fun to do! someone to bother! not only have you got the most stubborn octopus having frequent suspicious 'deals' but here are his equally suspicious lackeys.
who keeps.. talking about fried octopus..
yeah, you're not sure if preaching about azul’s species is the job they were assigned.
they're fairly easy to point in the right direction anyways. the tweels have always associated you with the word 'fun' so just a little, friendly suggestion from and they were off to their merry way. mortifying every single person you come across with their sudden attachment.
one of their tricks? following you around. and just somehow, every single place you enter is just mysteriously full even though you peered inside and there was like 7 tables empty. what are they hosting? ghosts? spirits?
...
they do look like they've seen some though..
jade rn: "a shame indeed, you must be hungry. why don't we escort you back to monstro lounge?" :)
long story short you can't even reply cause the sleek eel is already guiding you around by the use of his hands on your shoulders. just to make sure you don't stray away from the destination, he says.
"didn't you say that yesterday's promo was like, a one day thing?" you quirk a brow, and you almost fool yourself into thinking he flinched.
azul clears his throat. "well—today is.. the month before you've graced octavinelle with your assistance—"
he praises himself for his quick thinking.
COME ON! it doesn't matter if you're sick of eating stir fried shrimp, or the butter one, or every single dish they serve that includes shrimp! (also do not mention that you ate somewhere else before you just decide to visit his dorm because that establishment just mysteriously got filed a non-legal business report.)
then you've got floyd chasing you around with a fork. which is more terrifying because he's holding it in a notion that would seem like he'd just stab down at you when he catches up with your little goose chase.
it's just.. you're not sure if your stomach could take another bite of the poor food he stabbed into, and is now chasing you around with.
you screech. "JADE PLEASE."
the man shrugs. "it's a free taste."
"AZUL."
"... only on a condition of course."
frankly. it took all the balls he had to actually sputter out the most simplest sentence ever, cause during the time he rehearsed that in front of his mirror it just plagued him with embarrassment but he's getting desperate.
'I'd like to take you out to dinner, somewhere else of course.'
actually, maybe obliterating any possible craving for the food of his lounge just might've been part of his plans to ask you out..?
leona (prevents you from actually being productive via dragging you down to 'nap' every. single. time.)
"I will literally fail if you don't let go of me right now."
"hmph. so what? it's not like failing a grade killed anyone."
"leona just because you've lived through a lot of fails doesn't mean I have to, we're not all rich enough to not finish school."
to which he'd retaliate that all you'd need is to marry him and you'd be set for life.
there is no winning an argument with leona when it comes to his naps. if he states that you're to be next to him as he sleeps, its final. no buts, no retaliations, cause apparently they're all invalid according to him even if you drag him to court.
rhetorically of course, that if its a comical court scene his only statements are; 'well you're wrong', 'who cares', and 'i dont care'. one way or another he's still gonna win you over and now you're fit snugly in his arms, lamenting.
and if crowley chastises you for not doing the errands (via leona's common interference.) the only thing you need to honestly do is to complain to leona about it and suddenly crowley has the kindness to forgive you for your 'laziness' then says something about enjoying your time together?
leona's work no doubt.
you suppose he does has its perks. even if most of it isn't exactly ideal.
if you're being smart then you should give him an ultimatum or something, or bribe him. but... that really has no guarantee to work either cause you're ending up defeated, or just defeated and flustered since he's somehow unconsciously flirty.
at the end of the day you can't really hate him cause the following day you find out he sent an already sleep deprived ruggie to do your work. 'so you can shut your fussing up and let me enjoy you.' he says, and you quote.
it goes something like;
"if i finish my work i'll stick by you all day."
a stready flow of confidence keeps your voice firm as you glower down at the blank-faced leona sat on the grass. he merely tilts his head, raising a brow at you and seemingly pondering from the way his eyes fly to the sky.
you'd think that maybe your plan actually worked but he merely grunts and flops backwards, holding the back of his head with his palms as he laid. and! he ignores you.
...this little greedy man... "why should i care whether or not you finish your work?" he huffs, like the evil, arrogant spawn he is but you can't really defend yourself cause said evil spawn bewitched you so much that you actually still like him.
"because you care about me?"
"...fine," he scowls, releasing a breath you'd mistake for irritation. "then, do you really think i need you to finish your work when i can just keep you right here?"
you sulk. "i'll do anything you want?"
he deadpans as if you said something stupid. "i don't need you to anything else but sit still and be pretty."
...
...
see what i mean about him eventually winning you over? yeah.
next morning there's a rebellion in savanaclaw about overworked residents and ruggie is the head of them.
"he said that he doesn't need you today." <- ruggie, steering you away.
"really?" <- you, confused
riddle (overthinks TOO HARD.)
“I'm just a little busy.”
“I understand,” riddle says.
“I'm just a little busy.” he understands.
“a little busy.” its just… a small thought…
“I'm just busy.” his mind is a hazard at this point. 
for someone as supposedly maintained as riddle—you'd think his mind is as composed as it is organized. like the pens you'd perfectly align in correlation to order of colors, or the neat pile of clothing folded neatly, tucked in some corner in your closet that is farther in since it's used less.
that's just how he is, or at least seems to be. a bundle of organized thoughts, every thought connected to another. a mind too clean to be going on haywire (when he isn't in a particular mood, that is.)
you're just busy. he thinks. you said it yourself, with that agonizingly nice smile that must be sprinkled with some kind of spell from the way it just eradicated all the protests in his throat upon sight. he isn't one to question it, he wants to help but not if you don't ask.
he can only stare with resigned acceptance at your insomnia induced eyes.
but when the curtain of darkness befalls night raven college, even in the comfort of heartslabyul is he still thinking about that thought–and he can’t help but wonder; why exactly are you busy? its not that he’s suddenly hyper aware of your lack of presence since you’ve been attached to the hip the previous week and now you’re just.
…busy…
riddle likes to think of himself as a level-headed, private person. like the boy he raised himself to be and therefore proud of. but its way past 10AM. which is usually the time he sleeps, and let me tell you that he’s never once broke the cycle for years. yet here he is, a frown of frustration present on his face as he wills his mind to sleep.
somehow closing his eyes felt forced, he immediately snapped them open once his mind decides to conjure an image of you even in the darkness his lids offers.
“THIS IS ABSURD.”
and the yell promptly woke up the entire dorm from the ferocity of his scream. (and of course gave them the flashback of their year.)
that night was one of the worst he’s ever had because he woke up with red rimmed eyes and a pounding headache that ensured his bad mood the rest of the day.
everyone noted to steer clear.
and he unknowingly steered clear of yours since you were ‘busy.’
“why are you sulking?” a voice queried, spoken as though they were eating something as they asked. a reprimand rises in his throat, but it all just dies down once his sharp eyes settle on you, slipping into the seat in front of him then raising a brow and the traces of irritation practically evaporates from his eyes.
he feels the need to cough–so he does. “i’m– i’m not.” he clears his throat, avoiding your eyes but still sneaking in glances, something he notes is that you’re still looking everytime he does. (and boring an unimpressed face because he knows you don’t believe him at all.)
guilt rises in his mind, because he feels a slither of annoyance and its the presence of pettiness that bothers him. riddle knows you’re not at fault, just his mind at convincing that you just somehow decided in the span of a day that you might not like him anymore–so he can’t help the bite. 
“why are you here?” a glance not intended to look mean.
“i thought you were busy.” he adds.
your brows raise, he spots your teeth holding your lips back from showing your grin and he feels warm. “what?” he hisses defensively, despite you not even having replied to him yet.
he leans backwards, straightening up in his seat when your chin leans forward, resting on your intertwined fingers. you flash him a smile. 
“mr. rosehearts, are you perhaps… sulking because i’m busy?”
“no!”
silence.
“no.” he repeats, weaker.
“well,” you continue, beaming. “i heard from ace that you were awake the entire night, and that you kept him awake too. are you alright?” 
he sputters. “it wasn’t because of you!”
you snort. “i didn’t even say anything about me.”
so you incline to following riddle around, poking fun at him and still trailing after the seemingly enraged red head because despite his angry protests, demanding you to go away because you’re annoying he keeps glancing back to see if you’ll follow,
so cute…….
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