#i mean improvement i guess??? idfk

[hoshigray]

Guys, guys....would you hate me if I said I'm already planning an enemies to lovers Gojo series for February + Valentine's Day?

[zombies-aliens]

Honestly dude I hate to have this girl as a friend bc it's kinda not good for me sadly. Only thing I like is having her as a gym buddy but outside of that we don't really got much in terms of a friendship. It's quiet, kinda awkward, dry ass conversations like im bored wondering why we keep extending the convo. I feel like eventually shell be like this guy is boring ima talk to someone else. She has a better time with our friend like it's clear everyone can tell too. I sorta had a crush on her, but I was careful from the start but it's been tough sometimes bc the vibes are really nice sometimes and I let my guard down a little inside. But like... I shouldn't be man. When I leave the state its gonna be better bc you know, out of sight out of mind. She's deff a likeable person, and I feel so weird even talking about this girl here, she feels a little too close me to be doing this in a way if that makes sense. I really think if I just ignored girls and focus on myself for some time I'd be a lot better off, I can't seem to stay detached I always catch feelings to some degree. Like that other girl I was all about back before may. These things usually don't end well for me and maybe it's a sign I need to separate and do something better w my time. There's girls everywhere, I know this will be tough for my lovey dovey ahh self, bc all I really want is money and a good life. And I'm hoping a good woman that's crazy about me is part of that good life. I like being in love yall know this. Love is amazing. I love love. Sadly it's just not time for that yet. I think I got to improve myself, face my anxiety and fears, learn to live better, be more patient and nicer to myself etc all that shit. If I could press a button to erase our friendship with no repercussions and no questions I'd do it. Me and my old friend will be fine and happy. Or idk, but I know ill be. I know she'll be too. She's a fighter. She's really about her happiness and I know ill be like her in my own way. I just wanna be me and be happy. I never really prioritized it bc I'm a people pleaser ha. Anyways we are both different people completely and I'm probably just finding any excuse now to cut myself off from her and if that means from the other friends too trust me I'm okay with that of course ill miss them, bc it was a pure thing, no ulterior motives, type of friendship. It's just with this girl it's like I don't wanna be texting daily but I'm already used to this routine and it's almost like gf treatment like why tf she wanna text me for bruh. Unless I'm like a second thought I guess idfk. Now I'm thinking too deep.

[ko-eko-ev-go-ms]

I just internally scream

TFW you double check your stuff to make sure you’re doing things properly within the rules only to realize you misread the rules and have actually fucked everything up so your soul shrivels up and dies

[vespertine-legacy]

Please make it make sense to me why it is the light side choice to tell Master Eriz “bury it” when he says he wishes you hadn’t shielded him, because now he has to live with the knowledge he uncovered about how Sand People society works and it’s dark side to say “let the Council decide what to do with this knowledge.”

[I mean, ignoring for a moment the casual racism of “yeah Sand People probably have a Kill The Weak mentality” (because records of our own ancestors have proven that’s just not how successful societies work, but w/e)]

I know Bioware wouldn’t allow for the nuance of my Consular’s backstory (she’s an archivist - she’s not gonna just bury knowledge because it’s uncomfy). But if the Jedi Council looks at Eriz’s findings and decides “yeah this is information that, idfk, GARZA or the like would interpret well and not do anything rash with” (just spitballing based on the line about “the Republic military has expressed an interest in my final conclusions” lol, and gives them Eriz’s research without any follow up or anything, then that’s dark on them, not on me, I’m pretty sure. But anyway, the whole point of Eriz being out there was to establish diplomatic relations with the Sand People and help gain an improved understanding of their culture. How does “oopsie doodle, lost all his research” help that, just because you don’t like what he found, when you can just turn it in with the caveat “but this might also be a very sheltered misunderstanding of what’s going on here because he’s plague-addled and also probably didn’t actually learn the language while he was here”

I mean I guess it’s a little more light to say “bury it,” in the sense of “maybe it’s not our place to be trying to observe and understand this living culture if we’re just gonna water it down to suit our own narrative, and if they wanted us to understand them, or needed our help preserving their culture, they’d come to us.”

[mego42]

Have I asked you this before? 4, 5 and 10 for the postive writing ask!

i do not believe you have but also I should not be trusted! my memory is made of garbage! 

4. What is something about writing that you’re proud to have improved at?

Hmmmm, I mean aside from all of it? Hahahaha I laugh but I’m serious, I don’t think there’s an aspect of my writing that hasn’t improved with I practice (I am physically, emotionally, spiritually incapable of having a hobby that is just for fun, apparently). In terms of things I’m deliberately working on, I think my story structure is especially incrementally improving the more I work with it? I see it the most in the Dean chapter of listening through the air shaft which has a whole cyclical structure to it that I’m really proud of. 

It’s also cool seeing how some stuff walks so other stuff can run. There’s a Ruby and Beth scene in the last chapter of song that 100000% wouldn’t be what it is without Ruby POV in listening and all of the structural technique stuff I brought to the Dean POV I see in the way I’m thinking about and plotting out this sort of kink fic sort of whole other monster thing I’m working on, so that’s all really satisfying.

5. Tell us about a scene or story that was a challenge to write but turned out well.

Ha, so many! I feel like I’ve talked Dean POV to death but that’s probs the most significant example bc it involved so many challenging things I’ve never done before like: spending time in the head of a character I hate and really trying to think them through and empathize so I could write a somewhat emotionally satisfying story (something I probably wouldn’t have been so concerned with if it weren’t also the end of the fic) all while developing a voice that felt distinct and true to character. 

now use both hands was another good one, I’ve maybe talked about this before so my b if this is repetitive, but I wrote that while figuring out how to tackle listening so I was thinking a lot about POV and what it conceals and reveals and challenged myself to play around with a sort of observational narration throughout the fic before swerving into unreliable. it was a lot of fun and I really like how it came out in the end.

10. What do you think your writing does well?

idfk that’s so hard to judge from like, inside it. hilariously, I’ve been told I do plotty, tense/active scenes well and am good at maintaining tension throughout. I say hilariously because I am actively terrified of those scenes which is maybe why they work out? I spend time fretting about them so I guess the extra attention comes through. 

I like to think I’m also p decent at developing individual character voices. I def throw myself into it, anyway. 

am cheerfully procrastinating, help a girl out and send some positive writing asks

[nco05]

UCL 20/21 day 3: DUBS ON DUBS ON DUBS

That's 9 points out of 9, folks! Wasn't easy but they did it! :D

Alright first up, the negs and nagging:

There were players who lost the ball a lot and didn't put enough pressure. I don't recall who completely;

Slightly less negative: For the majority of the game, Dynamo was parking the bus. This caused less goalscoring opportunities. It's not illegal to do but it can make a match boring;

The substitution which resulted from Frenkie going from central defender to holding midfielder (pivot? idfk) did more bad than good (not cuz of him). The defense was less stable without him, at first I thought it was weird. Ronald K. said the substituted defender (I know his name I don’t wanna be mean) had some pyshical complaints (idk why you put him on then instead of Puig man?)

The shots on target not going in was a bummer. They were nice. Especially Leo's freekick, Ous' far shot and Sergi's header. The majority of that is thanks to Dynamo's goalkeeper, he blocked a lot. I gotta applaud him, he did stellar. I couldn't believe he's the 3rd goalkeeper. He was very very good.

Now onto the good shit(tm):

Despite being manmarked by 3 to 5 people - which also caused limitations of goal opportunities - Leo showed again what an incredible athlete he is. He had several shots on target and was great (I hate penalties btw but nice that it went in);

Outta nowhere mr. Shakira scores again after a long time! The header was nice as hell;

Guess who's back? Back again... Mats is back, tell a friend. And holy fucking shit did he come back. Most people would be shitting themselves to return after 11 weeks of recovery from injury + surgery and the last match played conceided 8 goals. Not Mats, he played like he never left. Some of his saves where breathtaking (quite literally as my parents and I gasped at the monstersaves). For that he is my MOTM;

To get back into a previous point: Frenkie played for the majority of the game as a central defender, next to Geri and on the same line as Jordi and Sergiño. He did well in defending and was a big part in why we had a clean sheet for so long;

Most of the substitutes did well.

I rate this game a 6. It was not as good and not as fun to watch as the previous 2 UCL games. Mainly because the game lacked pace at times and the opponents defended heavily (again not illegal but takes away excitement).

Next up: La Liga against Betis, where we haven't had 3 points since Celta... Betis is a tough one. Will we finally win again? Stay tuned.

I wonder if Phil and Samuel's injuries have improved. Hope they can play again soon.

[mifhortunach]

some Unfortunate vague vambling into the void wrt tpf

The book is a grail quest, about ppl - either knowingly or unknowingly - on grail quests, and (with/presuming the small amount that can Ever be discerned about SL) written during/around a time when a grail quest was essentially occurring/could-would be a comfort narrative. Its a surprise (to me at least) that its, as Hopeful(?) as it is*. growth occurs! people move on & move past traumas/big Events(tm)! 

I had wanted to compare it to ‘Inside Llewyn Davis’ for some reason**, but its honestly not especially similar. If one was to take ILD as a starting point, as people/LD trapped in a cycle by the v nature of Who They Are, TPF kinda jumps from that point, or some a point of hitting a level of Rock Bottom and Acting/. For some of the characters its been a more gradual shift into decisive action, (Tracy, ARY Lewis), while w others its a hitting breaking-point/epiphanous kinda thing (Bob, Sid & Danny) - action is Spurred, etc. 

A reading could be taken then, as Action as Redemptive Force, mayhaps***. in certain cases. maybe. Sid & Danny, would probs be the easiest players to be reading this theme from, “fucking up”**** & then immediately deciding ‘yk what! lets find this fckd up old musician dude u/i really loved, and ask him to restart his 60s-70s band but w us in it this time’. SO! then they go from essentially wasting away, getting high & rehashing old routines & watching/critiquing awful (beastiality) pornos, to going on their drug-smuggling funded ‘grail quest’, to meeting & reteaching the dude guitar, to Genuinely /Finding/ the grail - before (thru an act of giving up on Expectations / releasing Bitterness) - giving it up. the previous wallowing / lacking of Authenticity is Absolved though all tht, as is a long standing weirdness between them regarding giving up on what could've been their Original /Actually Lucrative/ band*****. ARY Lewis thru action comes to terms / peace w himself even tho he Doesn't find his grail, Tracy finds a kinda “peace” thru a ‘mortifying ordeal of being known’ thing, etc etc. The man (SG Lee) loves his Things Bigger Than The Self stuff i guess.

As a theme this can maybe Also be seen in reverse/inversion, w Abby (p fckn minor character), not rly being Unredeemed or anything, mostly bc she starts off as one of the ppl Least in the gutter. but from the like, glances/vignettes of her once she leaves the main story ( “[god] has a hack screenwriter’s sense of drama” ), shes now set a drift in a way tht she kinda wasn't before, and as it goes on loses diff aspects of control/certainties in her own life. i don't think shes mabs treated as sympathetically as she maybe ought to be? could the loss of these things be read into as a weird punishment for /NOT/ going on or supporting ppl going on grail quests******** ? idk ! or idk, the ending w PR running off bc he's finally found that cigerette end, and her then missing the Avril Lavigne’s hit early 00s song ‘sk8r boy’ reminiscent bit w S&D ringing her up to send her audio of the 1st of the New round tabyls’ gigs, might be read as her still being Stuck/. everyone else has (to one degree or another) improved their position since the start of the book, except her, as the only thing she now no longer has is a deadweight boyfriend and his kinda grody bffl, otherwise everything is The Same.  

Not surprised tht he (i think?) doesn't think its necessarily aged well? or. that it is no longer Quite as Relevant bc of the internet & stuff - idrk if thats Properly True******* - both bc that kinda thing can Just About still happen, but also bc if there wasn't a p minor mention of 1997 being in the past, you'd probs assume it was set earlier. ditto some of the concerns wrt oh, You Know, fckn, Exoticism/native american/shaman stuff - which i don't think is bad/ignorant/racist! but its always difficult to tell, and everything (but which i legit mean Everything/ in Gen, in The World) could use more Nuance.  

I had smth else i wanted to say, but I've forgotten what it is tbqh - & ofc, this has mostly been an exercise in Thought ReHashment(tm). It might've been that the ending seems Terribly/ Tidy. like, i don't think there could BE another ending? but its very Neat: the Bad are punished, some leads are paired off in a (presumably) cishet coupling, bad feelings are trowelled up & buried, the bois remake a hot, niche & authentic band, Luther Peyote can play the guitar again: Picture Perfect. Its an ending that fits, its an ending tht (i think? idk Anything abt this kinda thing) puts emphasis on the quest-y stuff, and the poss redemption angle; but it feels like a far remove from the kinda squalor of the first while - which is probs another point in its favour, rip.*********   

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*not to say/imply (ofc! ofc!!) tht this might be seen as somewhat ooc of stewart lee, but it still kinda caught me off-guard. poss bc its a Very Tidy wrap-up, and it happens quite fast, i felt. but tht might just be the time that in it. 

**this reason may have been qs of #authenticity! or maybe just bc things/backgrounds/the world are kinda gross

*** “almost. action as redemptive force (as a form off faith/belief? faith/belief as redemptive force - if not in a god, in the World or Others?)” -> thats from the Even Worse! orig version of this, lmao. but also Action as a way of Escape/breaking a cycle

****for want of a better descrip

***** the orig uhm, idfk, them lemon boys, could probs be read into - if one Wanted to read too much into these things mabs - as some kinda weird parallel to the original On The Hour stuff(?) w AL vs L&H, & how they Didn't get royalties/whatever was up there. you'd never be able to be either Accurate or Sure about that though, even w certain traits of S&D being p clearly lifted from L&H, or old SL routines - theyre not Explicit or Perfect cyphers/inserts yk?******

****** following on! (if i may) some of the. not /Tension/,, but smth similar, w S&D often feels. not truly emotionally resolved? or just like, Unclear/ at times. the whole novel speeds up a fair bit once more than 2 (two) characters have to be properly juggled in a scene. [which is to say tht in some real Old L&H interviews, (usually in the ones where L isn't present, lmao) RH says tht SL gets ‘embarrassed’ by having to directly explore how ppl might feel about each other/relationships yk? can't say thats necessarily true! but it Is smth i couldn't help thinking about. but emotional exploration & openness is also the realm of fanfic, so maybe I'm asking too much, fgdksh] 

*******im trying not to use the word ‘necessarily’ here again

******** for the small sum of €5 a month, you too could support a pilgrim on a grail quest

*********tho tbf, could also v much be influenced by the whole thing being written over the better part of a decade, place/s while writing & stuff yk? idfk

[whatwrites]

Right lads guess who is a massive idiot

Me

But also not me

I need to plan my entire series in the Prequel universe and get the ending sorted where it’s all leading etc. I didn’t do this for my past drafts in this universe as I just needed to get into writing properly and improve a lot. Which may mean Prequel May totally change idfk. Probs not tbh. And I need to improve my writing until I’m happier (getting there tho my friends). So I feel a bit at crossroads rn about pretty much everything in my writing life

Unsure of pretty much everything rn

Cause I can only improve by writing but all I want to write is Prequel universe and things to be published

[eccentricwearsgoggles]

All the emoji questions thank

oh darn fine okay aifklsjfklds under cut because it was a lot of questions

🐰- do you believe in soul mates? I don’t believe in like… destiny or fate. But I feel like people can meet and be right for each other, because there’s so many people out there, and even if the ‘right’ person came at the wrong time, it mainly just comes down to willingness to love and to do what is right to improve what you have with someone else. you kinda have to have a strong foundation to begin with though, and share the similarities in living and personality that are going to make it work.

💌- diary or journal? i used to be more of a diary person, and then i was a journal person and now i’m neither tbh. kinda want to pick up journaling again though.

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most? uhhh, this is prolly a longshot and i’m buttering myself up but, pyrrha nikos from rwby

💕- are you crushing on someone? NAH not really I’d think?

💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain? prolly both. just like, it could be raining but preferably NOT in the rain, but while in the dark. that sounds pretty romantic and cheesy SHRUGS

🐝- describe your aesthetic in emojis: n.n uwu ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) :eyesemoji:

🍼- what is your favorite memory? IT’S TOO CHEESY

🌸- what is your favorite flower? tulips and roses i guess??

💖- have you ever been in love? uhhhh yes

🍰- strawberry or vanilla? probably strawberry tbh

🍯- describe your favorite smell: i like the smell of grass/trees after it’s rained. not like that gross muddy smell, that more fresh and nice smelling one idk i’m bad at explaining. 

🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be? i don’t really want to list things that are attainable. but being settled down and married is something i think about a lot. wish i could meet my grandma on my mom’s side though. but i’m starting to think i’m running out of time… and that she’ll be passing soon. the rest of my grandparents aren’t even worth meeting, honestly. would love to travel around the us to meet all my online friends though!

🍪- cookie dough or cookies? cookies all the way!! it’s so much better baked. cookie dough lovers can take a hike (jk jk jk)

☕- coffee or tea? depends on the mood, but mostly coffee in the morning on work days tbh. 

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies? it was hard for me to decide, but probably in the forest with fairies. 

🍂- what’s your middle name? c-catherine

💫- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign? idfk how to tell what that is i’ma just say scorpio 

🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days? fall asleep. cuddle with my cats. watch stuff and be lazy

🍭- how tall are you? 5′3″. i’m hecka shorty, kinda wish i was like at least 5′7 or something.

💒- which show would you want to live in? stranger things so that i could bone billy askhfjljflkd NO i’m kidding… uhhh idk smallville maybe? i’m not too much of a show person so this one stumped me

🎄- what is your favorite holiday? sorrys i hate holidays so it’s gonna be a no, chief

🍦- what scented candle is your favorite? don’t really like candles tbh… anything that smells flowery though i guess.

🎶- favorite song right now? it’s not living by the 1975

💘- 3 ways to win your heart? Hardworking. Gentleman qualities. And apparently, being a nerd/dork… to the full extent because that makes me swoon.

🍩- current mood? CHILL

❄️- what is your favorite season? prolly fall

💍- your current relationship status? not available. i’m basically a 404 when you visit my page

📷- a photo of yourself

💅🏻- do you like being spoiled? pampered, not spoiled! just the right amount don’t overdo it cuz ya, i can do things to YA KNOW n.n

🕊️- 3 habits you have? tie up my hair all the time even though it causes headaches, sleeping in on weekends, wearing my glasses on my head

🦄- how do you perceive yourself? a multi-racial hispanic whomst is trying her best jk. the trying my best is true though, and that i’m telling it like it is, and i expect the same from others. i think i’m kinda cool i think i might actually be my friend if i didn’t seem so aloof all the time tbh

🦋- how do you think others perceive you? stuck up or awkward maybe??? at least in person. but some people do see me as a lawful good type? and i mean i am??? rissa says i’m chaotic good which isn’t true :[

🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys: Having common ground with morals and values. But also similar sense of humor. Also nice hair??? I like hair. Dork types. You know.

🍓- one secret about yourself: i still have dreams about bumping into one of my former crushes. i think i just wanna be friends with him still but I”M SO BAD AT CONVERSATION. and honestly i think we mostly both are

🍒- how do you act when you have a crush? super obvious and extra about it. i get awkward and say their name a lot. also go out of my way to help. also eye contact probably wavers a bit to not seem to obvious? i also pick on them

💔- the reason behind your last breakup? never had a breakup

💬- what your last text message says? Hey how r u?

🎥- what show are you currently binging on? The Good Place

⛅- what is your morning routine? waking up 20 mins before work, going to the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth and throw my clothes on and then having coffee at work 

💗- who do you miss? lots of people tbh

🥀- last time you cried? wednesday in a walmart YEAH I KNOW. it was mostly suppressed and nothing full blown

🎁- when is your birthday? novembs 10

🔪- scariest/creepiest experience? most of my sleep paralysis induced dreams 

💤- date someone younger, older, or same age as you? i think the youngest i would date would be about 21 or 22, and oldest i might go as far as 30, because my first crush was about a 5 year gap w/ me.

🎀- any question you want: how about me asking my anons why they want to see my feet jus kidding i know that’s @silverseasofsummer

[teachers-are-nerds]

why does my brain keep saying very loudly and rapidly “i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to fucking die” even though i absolutely do not want to die right now i dont even have the motivation to scream but i wonder if a solid scream would be cathartic

theres just so many things i need to complain about my heart is pounding so hard im in pain and im shaking and everything feels bad and i cant change my meds bc i cant contact my psychiatrist from france or like... more importantly figure out the logistics

i dont wanna go back to the states though bc gburg is probably gonna be hella toxic for me again even though my schedule for next year is super good and im super looking forward to it

why did i send home all of my sheet music and why didnt i send home my jackets holy wow that’s gonna be a lot of weight i cant pay for with the luggage on my way home

what if im not mentally ill enough for meds i know i have to change them bc at this moment i am NOT feeling helped by them but what if another med will make me even worse and what if i am actually just shitty at managing symptoms and how come everyone else seems to be able to manage or hide or work through their shit and i have to go and make a big fucking deal out of it all and i literally even wrote my prof like “hi btw ive been suicidal thats why i havent been in class” and that’s just using mental health as a fucking excuse it’s not like an hour and a half of sitting through a class from which i glean approximately nothing would actually kill me, as it were lol

i have to get the key to christine but that means 20 min walk home and 20 min walk back and maybe the sunlight will be good for me but i also need to write the other two pages of my paper that im obviously not doing now since im complaining and making a bajillion zillion posts all over social media lol it is a cry for help how come i cant make myself do the things i need to do im literally in physical pain because i cant make myself do the paper that was due an entire week ago !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how the actual fuck did i even graduate high school how did i fucking survive

well i mean i didnt drink in high school but i also got apx 3h of sleep a night so idk

im not drinking today though like i refuse to do that today bc money and also i need to just uhh not drink for a while because that’s what healthy people do. not day drink on weekdays.

i thought i was better abt that this year than last year but i guess not as much as i thought but at least im not sleeping in my friend’s bed every other night?? which is an improvement

god i fucking hate that i cut myself out of the queermmunity like that even though it’s better for me i just wish i did it in a more mature way im so fucking angry at myself im not even homesick at all i miss like 4 or 5 people from the states in total and i feel fucking awful that theres a bunch of people who will message me like “omg miss u” and i know i miss them too but like i feel like im lying when i respond “miss u 2″ and that isnt fair at all and i hate it i hate feeling like im lying to my friends i hate that i dont miss them i hate that this semester is supposedly the best semester of my life and i still have to convince myself not to step in front of a bus sometimes and i hate that The Brain Demons are clawing my stomach out from the inside but at least i havent purged in a while so there’s that and usually i can talk myself out of other self harm shit

and putting the content of my complaining post in the tags is to warn people if they read it but also it’s gonna make some people like OH NO UR IN DANGER LET ME READ THIS and i dont ?? i dont want that???????? but i also do???? good fucking lord i hate being such an attention whore

i hate that im a whore in general

like i dont regret any sexploits ive had whatever but i hate that i feel jealous of some people because i dont want to monopolize their lives and i dont want to prevent them from sharing love w other people i jsut want people to cuddle and kiss and be romantic with and it hurts but i also cant ocmplain abt it with my friends bc they also are like dammit i want a partner and me i have a few consistent sex partners but i want romantic partners but i need to change the people with whom i spend my time because they are not great for my mental health and i hate that bc i love them dearly but im destroying myself just in a different way from last year

the people i loved last year are driving me up a goddamn wall and i hate that i hate that i hate that so much bc i still care about them but im such an idiot i cant stand up for what feels right or against what feels wrong to me bc ill jsut get yelled at and i know that means i shouldnt be close to them im so hurting today

everything feels like too much and im shaking and still avoiding responsibilities and idk if writing this post is gonna get it out of my head enough bc on one hand i might tire myself out and not feel the need to write about it more to people and not have to bother them or like idk continue distracting conversations or maybe having people worry and try to talk to me will give me something to ignore so i can make myself write my paper idfk!!!!!!!!! but on the other hand uhh what if this is just going to make me fixate even more on my problems im screaming in sid e

oh ps im realizing that my family dynamic, while much much miuchn much much better than so fuckin many other people (feels conceited to say but im grateful for it and feel i cant or shouldnt talk abt it in case it triggers something in those with shitty home situations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) im recognizing that smth about the dynamic feels unstable as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what if i finish my paper, turn it in, sit for 20 minutes of class, go breathe, come back for the end

idfk othe rstudents need to talk to the prof too i cant monopolize him with the same content from my email to him and the same “i need help but idk what help i need” statement from last week or whatever

idk

idk idk idk will summer help me at all? will i live at home? will that be better or worse for me? can i remove all the materialism from my life? obv no but i feel i need to get rid of everything i own to cleanse myself of whatever and also i feel like cutting my own stomach and other organs out of myself but i obv cant and promise i wont try that lol

what work will i have or internships i dont have money i feel trapped will i hate myself forever will i be stuck in loops forever i will absolutely live long enough to find out and i will overcome things but like jesus chriiiiiiiiiiiiist im Not Good rn im sorry

yells

[rupeecoloredhair-archive]

tagged by @justmaghookit​  Ty for the distraction

Objective: Answer these 85 statements about yourself then tag others

LAST

drink - arizona tea phone call - my mom text message - my mom song you listened to - Lip & Hip time you cried - five minutes ago

EVER

dated someone twice - yeah kissed someone & regretted - yeah been cheated on - technically yes been depressed - YEP gotten drunk and thrown up - not that often which is surprising

FAV COLOURS

Black and metallics

IN THE LAST YEAR, YOU…

made new friends - yep yep fallen out of love -  no laughed until you cried - ye found out someone was talking about you - yyyyyep met someone who changed you - definitely found out who your friends are - mmhhhmmm kissed someone on your facebook friends list - no

GENERAL

how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - all of them do you have any pets - My keeker cat, Troy do you want to change your name - My last name, yes  what did you do for your last birthday - i got my switch what time did you wake up today - 8am what were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping what is something you can’t wait for - seeing @ciraeus in less than a month what are you listening to right now - Mind Brand (lyrics are graphic and can be triggering) have you ever talked to a person named tom - yeah something that’s getting on your nerves - i can’t SLEEP most visited website - either tumblr or google drive hair colour - dark brown at the roots and a reddish purple long or short hair - short, still growing do you have a crush on someone - is it a crush if im dating her? what do you like about yourself - my writing has improved want any piercings - yep yep blood type - idk nicknames - Heroic, Rupee, MISSILE relationship status - Taken zodiac - taurus

pronouns - they/them

fav TV shows - idfk. TF:A and TF:P continue to be good. House. Firefly. Mad Men (early seasons). Speed Racer, BNHA....others...

tattoos - someday

right or left handed - right ever had surgery - nah sports - nope piercings - ear piercings, the usual ones vacation - i miss the beach sneakers: idk what this means

MORE GENERAL

eating - i have some chips drinking - tea about to watch - youtube vids waiting for - the move back to Cali want - Chopsticks get married - maybe career - creator

WHICH IS BETTER

hugs or kisses - bugs lips or eyes - eyes shorter or taller - idc older or younger - idc nice arms or stomach - idc???? hookup or relationship - relationship troublemaker or hesitant - both are ok i guess

HAVE YOU EVER

kissed a stranger - yeah drank hard liquor - yep lost glasses - no turned someone down - yeah sex on first date - i wouldn’t call it a date broken someone’s heart - i’ve been told i have had your heart broken - mhm been arrested - nope cried when someone died - yep fallen for a friend - yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

yourself - no miracles - ye love at first sight - fuck no santa claus - nah kiss on a first date - whaddya mean believe, go for the kiss life is short angels - yeah

OTHER

best friend’s name - Cat eye colour - Dark brown fav movie - The Wind Rises

fav book - Bloody Jack or The Ghost in the Tokaido Inn

fav actor - sHRUGS

i feel odd about tagging im sry

[sugaurora]

11 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @ellieljade (like 76 years ago) and @parkbagelboy. Thank you guys for thinking of me! I’ve done one or two of these before so I’ll just answer you guys’ questions.

Nicole’s Questions

1. Have you ever had a recurring dream? What was it?

I’ve had several. My dreams are often over the top and inspire a large portion of my writing and love of fantasy and science fiction. I’ve often been a heroine after a space catastrophe, the sun has gone out or a meteor has hit Earth and I’ve got to do something to save people. I dream about going back in time to dinosaur times a lot by swimming under this time-space division border in the ocean? Idfk, it’s really beautiful though. I also have horror dreams in the same settings a lot, often getting further each time around. Lots of vampires, witches, werewolves. Much too exciting for me to get any decent fucking rest.

2. What is the worst place you have ever been to? The one place in the world you would never, under any circumstances, return to?

I guess I’m pretty privileged. I can’t think of a place like that. I mean I’ve been to some rough neighborhoods, but no specific place that inspires that much disgust.

3. What is your order at Starbucks?

Nothing. A water. I don’t drink coffee and I don’t like sugary teas so they have 0 appeal to me.

4. Rose gold, traditional gold, copper, or silver? Any particular reason?

Silver. It’s my favorite color. I actually detest gold.

5. What is the one song that you associate with a specific memory in your life? Is it a sad or happy memory?

Between the Lines by Sara Bareilles. I was engaged young and cheated on by my fiance. As with all things romantic, I am grateful for what I learned from the experience. But that level of heartbreak was devastating and the lyrics of this song were so pointed at the time. Though it doesn’t affect me as harshly, my heart still aches to this day listening to it, if only in response to the memory of that pain.

6. If your bias told you that he couldn’t stand your best friend, what would you do?

I’d ask why. See if it was a misunderstanding and try to work it out.

7. Do you believe in karma or luck as a real force in the universe or merely something humans have created?

I believe what you put out you receive back. Whether you believe that’s because of the Law of Return, the judgement of a God, the secret, or Newton’s third law of motion, that’s your prerogative.

8. What is your worst trait? Have you tried to change it before? Any success?

Overthinking. This ties in to a lot of other weaknesses, but if I could just relax and shut down my brain for any amount of time I would be much happier. But truly, I haven’t tried to change it. I am who I am.

9. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? Why?

Shape shifting. I just have different goals that need different faces, body types, body parts, skin colors. Also I just want to fuck with people really, really bad.

10. When you were growing up, was Nickelodeon or Disney the kid’s channel of choice?

Nickelodeon

11. What is the best and worst part about the area you live in?

There’s a best part? I guess that my husband grew up here. But there is nothing cute or desirable about racist, close-minded, backwater west Texas. How he escaped the small-mindedness I’ll never fucking know.

Jo’s Questions

1. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

I’m pretty tame. I was in a sorority and we flashed our boobies from a rooftop. They were painted though so I don’t even know if that counts.

2. If you could plan a day out with the bts member of your choice, who would it be and what would you guys do?

I know I’ve answered this somewhere before. I picked Hoseok and going to a like poetry slam at a local cafe. Oh, and shoe shopping.

3. Favorite BTS song and fav lyric from it.

Currently ‘Danger’ and Jimin’s iconic “헷갈리게 하지 마!!!“

4. If you create content, how did you get into making it? And if you don’t, what is your favorite type of fan-content and why?

I’ve been writing since elementary school and I’ve written fanfiction for a loooooot of fandoms over the years. BTS is just where I am right now and it’s really helping me get back into writing.

5. Favorite Ice cream.

Butter pecan. But I prefer sherbet or Italian ice. I like fruit flavors the most.

6. If you could get one present to gift each of the members, what would it be?

I’m such a mom, but I just want to buy them all some underwear and warm socks. And a first aid kit.

7. If BTS was for some reason reaped into a hunger games style arena, who would live the longest/be the winner and why?

Jungkook is probably the most adaptable, Yoongi is probably the most cunning, and Taehyung is the wild card. Seokjin & Hoseok are afraid of their own shadows and Jimin & Namjoon are the greatest dangers to themselves so those four would be out first.

8. If you could hear one sentence repeated to you once a day, for the rest of your life, what would it be?

“You are worthy of love.”

9. Which part of yourself do you love the most? :D

My mind, when my hormones operate properly.

10. Which bt21 character is your favorite?

Mang QQ I love him so much, precious baby

11. What are you looking forward to the most in the new year?

Self improvement. I’m really working on myself to hopefully become a better person over time.

[lemonicsweet]

not to rant on main or anything but f uc k art

like,, i wanna draw headshots because theyre easy for me and i just get frustrated trying to draw full body, but i feel like i have to draw full body because i know i have the skill to. its like,, i know i can do better, and its like i need an excuse to draw something thats not a full thing, yknow?? 

i only let myself draw this ^^^ because i told myself i needed to test out some brushes and i wouldnt need to draw a full picture to do that. on top of that ive been wanting to try using a simpler style (at least for a while) because my current one just stresses me out trying to figure it out, and im not drawing as often as id like to.

this ^^^

is better than this ^^^

but because the second drawing is more detailed, i wont let myself draw like the first one because im convinced that more detail = better art. this isnt to say my current style is bad, i know im not a bad artist, but the facts are i had fun drawing the first picture. i enjoyed it. i forced myself to draw the second picture, i didnt want to finish it, and i am unsatisfied with the results. 

this ^^^ is a drawing i had fun doing. i enjoyed putting effort into it. i love how it came out, its a good drawing.

this ^^^^ is a drawing i struggled to make. i dont like how it came out.

see what i mean??? i know im capable of creating more detailed pieces, but its more enjoyable making art with a simpler style. but because i know that its not the most effort i could be putting into my art, i wont let myself do it without some kind of excuse.

i think the main issue with art is im more aware that everyone has standards for what they think looks nice and, while i dont want to do anything with my art, im still putting it out there and its intimidating because i know i dont meet that standard,, and if i do i dont meet it,,, very m u c h??? and i just get like,,, "this isnt perfect, its awful delete it" and its not a good time. its like,, i draw less for m e and more for like,, and audienc e that isnt even there?? like i dont draw for anyone i only draw stuff i want to, but its like,,, not like when i was younger because i was able to just do whatever i wanted and not worry about how nice it looked, but now i d o???? idfk how to explain it arts not fun

im becoming more critical of myself ig and i miss the days i could use the circle tool for the entire drawing and call it good

like

^ this ^ is something i made in 2013. and i was REALLY proud of it. not kidding, i thought this was one of the best things i ever created. 

and yet here i am pushing out pieces like

^this^

and feeling like i failed. like i know this isnt good, but i was experimenting with stuff for the first time, of course its not going to look perfect. i know i have tons of room to improve, and im going to work on that, but ive just become so fucking critical of myself i cant draw something just for the fuck of it without needed to excuse it to myself. NO ONE IS GOING TO JUDGE ME FOR THIS?? ITS LITERALLY JUST ME BEING LIKE “okay but why would that drawing exist?” “you can draw more than that, you know” 

and im

t i r e d of it.

i miss being able to draw apologetically. if i wanted to draw a my little pony oc? id fucking draw it. if i wanted to draw a winged wolf? id fucking draw it.

now its like

“i want to draw this character of mine in a dress.” 

“but why would she wear a dress? she doesnt seem like the type.”

“i want to draw a simple headshot”

“but you can do better than that”

i guess its just i feel like if im not pushing myself to make better art its not worth the time spent on it, but if i do that i usually end up pushing myself too hard and the drawing flops. ive done a couple experimental drawings that went well, but most of the time theyre just too ambitious and leave me drained for days.

and its >:|

i know theres probably ways to get around this, but so far the only thing ive found is forcing a drawing to come out, and that hasnt been working too well for me. this will probably blow over soon, but fuck if it isnt annoying.

[golurkkoopa]

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged.

I was tagged by: @pansexualgalacticgargleblaster

LAST:

Last Drink: Tea Last Phone Call: Sheffield Hallam called me asking if I received an email Last Text Message: (I’m counting IM) <333 Last Song You Listened: Rag Time Punk - Abney Park Last Time I Cried: I can’t remember, it’s been a few years

HAVE YOU EVER:

Dated Someone Twice: Nope Been Cheated On: Nope Kissed Someone and Regretted It: Nope Lost Someone Special: I suppose? Like pets, if we’re talking death Been Depressed: Who hasn’t in this economy Been Drunk and Thrown Up:  I don’t drink

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made a New Friend: YES, the Vagaband :3c Fallen Out of Love: No Laughed Until You Cried: Probably, the Mcelroys are hilarious Met Someone Who Changed You: I guess, Olive? Found Out Who Your True Friends Were: Kinda, the vagaband are awesome peeps Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: I don’t know what this means... No?

GENERAL:

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: 3, soon to be 4 :3 Do you have any pets?: 2 cats, Ember and Oscar Do you want to change your name?: Nah, I like my name What time did you wake up this morning? : 2PM, tho I woke up at 7AM What were you doing last night?: Drawin’ while talking to Olive Name something you cannot wait for: Seeing Olive at Xmas Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes What’s getting on your nerves rn?: The Government, Nazis, Ace Discourse Blood type: Red? Nickname: Cooper, God, That monster that won’t stop hurting the babies (That’s for DnD don’t worry) Status: In a happy relationship with the Wonderful Pandafrick Zodiac sign: Virgo Pronouns: He/They (Tho I am still trying to figure out what the fuck I am) Favourite tv show: Dr. Who or Rick and Morty (I don’t watch much tv) High school: Oakbank College: The 6th form connected to Oakbank Hair color: Brown Long or short: Short, but I am considering growing it out again Do you have a crush on someone: Yeah, Pandafrick What do you like about yourself: How my art has improved and my DMing skills Eating: Nothing Drinking: Nothing I’m about to: In the next week, move to Uni Listening to: Anger Management - Big Bad Bosses Waiting for: The move Want kids: Maybe someday, I would like to have a little person to raise Get married: Hopefully :p Career: Programmer for games (in future)

FIRSTS:

First surgery: Never First piercing:  Never First best friend: A guy called Robert, we lived on the same street First sport you joined: HA sport. I guess netball? Tho I didn’t play, I just helped the others train First vacation: Portugal, when I was a few months old First pair of sneakers: IDFK

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: To draw, lips. Otherwise, eyes Hugs or kisses: Hugs are amazing. Tho I do want kisses Shorter or taller: Don’t care Older or younger: Don’t care Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic Sensitive or loud: Um? IDK (I’m ace, so...) Hook up or relationship: Relationship Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

Kissed a stranger: Nope Drank hard liquor: Nope Lost glasses/contacts: Don’t need em Sex on first date: Again I’m ace... Broken someones heart: I hope not, but I might have. I am quite oblivious in that area Been arrested: No Turned someone down: Yes, cos I knew they were dared to do it. But a friend kept hounding me until I said yes, the douche. Fallen for a friend: Yes, a few times. But a few of those may have been squishes

DO YOU BELIEVE:

In yourself: I suppose Miracles: (you sexy thang(couldn’t resist)) but probably not Love at first sight: maybe? Heaven: I would like to Santa Claus: No, he’s a corporate con by Coca Cola

I Tag: @pandafrick, @infinitygoat, @im2tired4usernames, @chemical-hysteria, and anyone else I guess.

[bruhnushka]

the bus (Lin Manuel Miranda x reader)

Lim-Manuel Miranda

summary : ur on a bus & Lin happens to be on the same one too & u expose ur fangirlness

warnings : maybe cussing¿? embarrassment ,, awkwardness stupid friends

pronouns : they/them

a/n : the wifi on this bus only apparently works where there’s cell reception idfk wtf and this is that cute idea I thought of… maybe it’s not so cute??? PLSE tell me what u guys think I need to improve my writing !!!

a/n : the previous a/n was the original one, but I’m adding this in here. this may be an ongoing series!!! sorry for the shitty writing in advance GIMME FEEDBACK,,

1 ,, 2 ,, 3 _______________________________________________

your eyes were dropping. it was about four in the morning, and the tour bus was picking people up. you pressed play on some music and put to full volume. your friend next to you, tanushka, drifted off a few minutes before you. you felt yourself fade into sleep, letting your mind rest.

~~~

lin couldn’t believe it. he’d been in queens town for about six days and not a single person recognized him. no matter how peaceful it was, it was also disheartening. he didn’t let it get him down, he signed himself up for an 8 hour bus ride to Millford Sound. he walked onto the bus using the incredibly steep stairs, then heard a familiar beat. he couldn’t place it, but he saw the source of the noise- you. he walked towards your seat and that’s when tanushka noticed him.

she let out a loud gasp, grabbing your phone and opening it to the home screen, a picture of Lin on it. “you’re the guy! with the music play thing! LIT manny or something!” She exclaims in a shout-whisper. he laughs at lit-manny.

“I’m Lin-Manuel Miranda, if that’s what you mean.”

“yeah! That guy! Holy shit y/n FUCKING loves you!” she points at you.

“so you don’t mind if i… sit here?” he asks, wanting to surprise you.

“oh! oh! oh sure!” she gets up, letting him slide in. for the first he examines you. your hands were inside your star labs hoodie, and half of your face as well. he got to notice your hair and your eyes. from the corner of his eyes, in the seat pocket, he spotted glasses. you were cute enough in your own way. now that he was closer to you, he could hear all the music. it seemed your music range varied greatly. one second it was Hamilton, then it was Metallica, then it was twenty one pilots. it was quite amusing. then the bus driver spoke into the speakers, his voice startling you.

“o- what the SHIT? ugh tanushka you never wake me u-” you turned and Lin was smirking. you rubbed your eyes and blinked, fumbling for your glasses.

“what the heckle?” you muttered, letting your eyes clear to reveal Lin, laughing.

“well hello there I’m Lin-”

“Manuel Miranda” you finished, in awe, “no freaking way.”

“well yes freaking way. I kinda just, heard your music, and asked your friend, tanushka I believe?, if I could sit here.” at her cue, she popped up from behind you. “that’s me!”

“anyways, so hey! I guess you have some great music taste!” Lin chuckles. “so what’s you’re name?”

“uh- y/n” you stutter out. then with more confidence, “y/n l/n”.

“well, y/n, what a lovely name might I mention, may I ask you what you’re favorite Hamilton song?” he says, making you laugh.

“I have so many really- uh I guess I really like Washington on your side- ooh! or maybe the Reynolds Pamphlet! Definitely guns and ships! oh! also! RIGHT hand man? and the Schuyler sisters? they’re all so good and so brilliantly put together and the music and t-” his laugh interrupted you.

“I think I’d know how good it is, I spent way too much of my life writing them”

“modest MUCH?” you laugh, then realize how rude you came off. “I’m so sorry I didn’t meant to-”

“it’s fine! don’t be sorry!” he noticed your fidgeting. “nervous?”

“this is… a lot to take in” you breathed out.

“well take your time then.” he jokes, “the dad bod is my best attribute, I believe.” you laugh, and grab your phone.

“is it ok if I take a picture with you?” you ask awkwardly. he nods, and you open up camera. he spots your homescreen and points at it.

“that’s me!”

“well duh” you grin, holding up the camera so you could take a photo. you guys ended up taking maybe fifty because you both couldn’t keep a straight face.

“you don’t mind if I… sit here for the rest of the ride?” he asked, quite nervously. Lin has a crush. yes, it was a school girlish crush, but you had such a bright attractive personality… he couldn’t help it. was that even legal? liking a fan? it seemed like a distant thought, a foreign idea only sought after in fanfiction.

“oh my god of course!” you were practically screaming, a grin so wide that Lin couldn’t help but smile.

“so… let’s get to know each other I guess?” Lin said, then tried to think of a question. “oh! what’s your twitter handle?” he asks and you tell him. a pan formularles in his head on how to get your number.

“can you send me the photos?” Lin asks, reaching for your phone “here I’ll-”

“I’ll just dm it on Twitter!” you smile and type in his handle, sending him the photos. there goes that.

“you don’t mind sending me all the pictures? Maybe it would be faster over text?” he tried again.

“oh it’s fine, you don’t want a fan like me with your number.” you say, not getting the hint.

“I mean-”

“don’t worry about it! there, it should have delivere-”

“goddamit can I please have your number?” he finally blurts. your eyes widen as you look up at him.

“what?”

“I-uhm” Lin didn’t know how to fix this. he scratches the back of his head, looking towards his feet

“I’d love to give you my number.” You grin, and send it to him over Twitter.

“uh thanks” he grins sheepishly, then posted a photo. your phone rang with the notification for both Lins post & that he tagged you.

“you have me on post notifs?” he laughs, running a hand through his hair. god, he was cute.

“maybe…”

“that’s cute.” he says laughing at your blush.

met the most amazing dum dum ever… (your handle)

you blushed again and covered your laugh as you looked at him. “this is so sweet!” you exclaim, and it was his turn to blush as he nervously looked towards the floor.

“and you followed me? what? that’s so cool! oh my gosh!” you gush, smile plastered across your cheeks.

“it’s no problem, really.” he says.

“thank you! well god, I’m tired so you don’t mind if I take a quick nap?” you ask, and he laughs. in the back of his head, he prayed the cliche gods were at work and you would fall asleep onto his shoulders.

to be continued¿

[flirting-with-psychology]

What features would you want your house to have if you could avoid all the technical difficulties involved in building them/installing them? Are we talking things that actually exist though? Because a self-cleaning, spider-repellent house would be nice

If you had to describe tastes without using any taste-specific descriptive words, how would you do it? I guess I’d describe other experiences that the taste reminds me of. Or use sense of smell, since that corresponds well

What is the effect on you of having people physically nearby, if they’re not interacting with you? Kind of the worst of both worlds because I have to be putting on my public self which can be draining but I don’t get the reward of social interaction. Also makes me feel like I don’t fit in

What simple action do you wish most could be automated by a small device? Fuck idk

If you could change the color of your blood with no other effect, would you do it? No, because you can see the color of blood in your skin, it would make my skin a weird color

Do you tend to tell more stories about things that happened to you long ago or recently? Recently

Would you rather come up with the core of a brilliant invention, or find someone else’s design and bring it to completion and usability? Come up with the core

Is walking more tiring for you, or talking? Walking

Suppose a cat started speaking to you and you could understand it. What would you do first? Ask it a bunch of questions

When your mind is fixated on something, does it more manifest as your mind coming back to the same topic throughout the day, or being unable to change its focus at all for a long period? Both lol

When you read a book, does a fixed mental image (from a movie or illustration) improve or hurt your experience of the characters? Depends if I liked the movie version of the character

Which of “greasy, salty, bitter, sweet, spicy, bland” do you react most strongly against? Bitter

After you finish a good book or movie, how much do you want sequels compared to an equally good and independent book/movie? Depends on how it ended. If it had a good ending as a standalone book/movie, I don’t want unnecessary sequels, but if there’s more story to tell I’m happy to have it. I just don’t like sequels that are only there for the sake of making money

If you could change your name to anything whatsoever for one year, and there would be no social/practical consequences to the change or the name itself, would you do it, and if so what name would you pick? I’ve already changed my name

When you’re completely exhausted, do you prefer to be around people or not? Usually not

When you share responsibility for a bad event with a lot of other people, is it nobody’s fault or all of your faults? All your faults, but there is diffusion of responsibility

When you introspect, how much and what do you see about how your thoughts form, and how reliable do you think that information is? Idfk bro, I struggle with that

How would you decide what your favorite word is? Do you focus on meaning or sound more? I don’t have a favorite word

How much would you have to be paid to spend a week completely alone in The Woods and completely bereft of any belongings or trace of civilization? (you would be protected supernaturally from physical harm from hunger, thirst, and cold, but not discomfort) Maybe like $5000

Would you prefer to write essays by typing, writing, or dictation, assuming the tech for dictation were perfected? Typing

Brainstorm the design of a planet terraformed purely for artistic purposes. It wouldn’t be round, it would be shaped in a cool way

Would you rather burn to death over the course of an hour, or lose your sanity over the course of weeks after an accident makes you unable to see, feel, smell, taste, hear, or move? Burn to death

How much would you enjoy watching your life turned into a movie? I’d actually be pretty curious

If aliens came to earth and brought you to an alien zoo, and you knew there was no way of escaping or bargaining, what sort of accommodations would you ask for your cell? Comfortable living conditions, visitation, wifi

Imagine 1-way teleporters existed, but were expensive enough you’d need to spend a lot of time saving in order to afford one. Would you? Not sure. If it’s one-way, you’d still have to get home

What purely cosmetic super-power would you most like? Shapeshifting. I don’t really get what you mean by purely cosmetic though

Do you like doing things communally? Depends on the thing

Name two food items you’ve never eaten combined before but would like to. Hot chocolate and chocolate liquer that I bought in Italy

Rank {Oceans, Forests, Tundra, Deserts, Mountains, Prairies, Lakes} with whatever comparator you like. My comparator is how much I’d want to be there, and the rank is oceans, lakes, mountains, forests, prairies, tundra, deserts

Is it better to intentionally trick yourself into believing something false for a practical purpose or to intentionally leave yourself ignorant about something with important consequences? The first I guess because there’s a practical purpose

Do you feel more fulfilled when you do something fun for its own sake or in the pursuit of something else? For its own sake

How easy is it for you to tell from looking at a piece of clothing how much you’d wear it if you owned it? Semi easy. I can tell by the fabric if it will be comfortable, and I can often tell if it’s something that would look good on me

What is one piece of trivial knowledge you would most enjoy being shared cultural knowledge? Idk??

Have you ever seen something that wasn’t there, even as an optical illusion? Yes

When you tell someone something about yourself, what do you want or expect them to do about it? React and be interested in it

If you could load books onto a reading device with actual pages, would that be better or worse than a tablet? Better, unless I want to read in the shower

Abolish human-caused death, or disease-caused death? Human-caused because I think more deaths are human-caused than disease-caused, and because you don’t have time to get your affairs in order

Come up with an arbitrary system for dividing people into groups. No copying existing media! Everyone who shares a name gets to meet up

Is it better for things in general to err on the side of too simple, or too complex? Too simple

If you could send your current personality back in time to your past self, would you do it? (factual knowledge would not go with) No, because the factual knowledge is what would be useful. My current personality isn’t my best in my opinion

What would music look like if it were visible to you as music? Idk maybe like the notes? It’s hard to conceptualize that

Why is there something rather than nothing? Idk because the universe said so