#I’m like how am I even gonna cope with this. if I find out there’s no way to fix this then like. what am I gonna do? how the heck do I cope

[luckykiwiii101]

😭😭😭 I ENTERED THE VOID STATE AND IT'S LITERALLY CHANGED MY WHOLE VOCAL CORDS!!! Like, WHOA. 😱 You guys don't even understand. Before all of this, I was a mess. Lemme tell you the full tea.

So like, I used to cry at night, scrolling through Tumblr, seeing everyone else manifesting their dream lives while I was stuck in the same old cycle. 😩 You KNOW the feeling! I even DELETED my Tumblr at one point because I was SO sick of seeing everyone else actually living their dreams, but then I would redownload it like the next day because I couldn't resist!! And then...the whole studying-for-exams thing? LOL don't even get me started. Like, I'd be like "I'll just enter the void state before my exams and manifest straight A's or whatever" (spoiler alert: I didn't.) I'm never really failed any subjects. At least not badly😬

I was starting to get frustrated, right? So then, one day, I was like OKAY, FINE. TIME TO ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING. And that's when I started SATS (State Akin To Sleep). It sounded crazy at first, but honestly, I was down to try anything! (Even while coping with my MADD. Yes I'm one of them. No I'm never getting rid of it.) So I started visualizing my dream life, and LET ME TELL YOU, I GOT SO DETAILED. I was in Velaris with Rhysand (I'm an ACOTAR fan), feeling his WINGS!!! I was literally touching them and just imagining how amazing it would feel to be surrounded by magic and beauty. And I wasn't even thinking about entering the void or anything. I was just feeling the vibezzz. Like, I know that it felt real, and that's what mattered.

Fast forward to a month and 3 weeks of doing SATS (Yes, I skipped some days, but WHO CARES? 😤). And guess what happened? I woke up today, and BOOM! I was in the void! Like, I didn’t even need to know how it happened, it just DID. I just said "Anything i say comes true exactly the way I want it." I said it over and over and over. Until I decided it was enough. Then I thought of leaving, and I was back in my room. Thank goodness I didn't think of leaving when I first entered, because this was literally like a lifetime opportunity I couldn't screw it up.

I actually had to safeguard myself, by saying "I am not impulsive". And the urge to say nonsense just disappeared ✨ That was the first thing I said when I woke up. So I wouldn't say any crazy shit. And so I was sitting there, ready to just start manifesting everything I ever wanted. I even started writing my script. maybe that was just an adrenaline rush.

But here’s the thing...GUYS, NOW THAT I’M HERE....in my room with this "ability"...I’m actually kinda missing my old self. Not the sad, desperate me, but the me who was SUPER EXCITED about just wandering around Velaris at night and dreaming of all this happening. Like, I actually miss that excitement. Looking through Pinterest and seeing the interior of a mansion, and be like "I'll be there soon", seeing pics of tasty food on instagram and saying "I'll eat that soon" I know it sounds crazy, but when you finally get everything you thought you wanted, it’s like...IDK...a little too perfect? 😬

Like, I know this sounds wild— and weird, but it’s TRUE. It's true for me right now. I'm gonna be blunt. The success story is not as exciting when you’re like actually living it, you know? Or maybe it's just me. Like, I’m just over here typing this at 4 AM, feeling kinda melancholic. And kinda (scared). Yes, I wanna enjoy my desires, but... I don't know. I don't want to get too curious and stray from Velaris trying to find out the secret behind ALL of this. For goodness sake, this is crazy!!! My voice is a genie!. It's already bugging me now. I know, I KNOW, this is probably not what you expected from a success story, but I’m being REAL.

I’ve written like 3 pages of my script so far, and I’m just gonna finish it tomorrow. No rush. Because honestly? Rhysand’s not going anywhere. 😉

And YOU can do this too. I know some of you might feel like “Oh, it’s impossible, I keep failing!” but like, just take a second and realize YOU'RE ALREADY GETTING CLOSER THAN YOU THINK. I was stuck too, and look where I am now. Don't look at the part where— I'm kinda ungrateful. But the part where I'm finally gonna meet Rhysand. YOU’RE SO CLOSE. It’s all coming together, trust me! 💖✨

But yeah, it’s 4 AM, I’m gonna go back to bed now, lol. Don’t let the void stress you out, okay? Take it easy. You’ve got this. ✨✌🏼

Also, love you kiwiii💖💖💖💖

SUCCESS STORY

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GRL

First of all, I’m so happy for you and proud of you. You really put your foot down and gave yourself what you wanted.

I can understand what you mean when you say the success story isn’t exciting when you’re actually living it. But when it’s right in-front of you, it doesn’t feel like this out of reach thing you’ve put on a pedestal anymore. It’s just yours. And it feels normal.

But for some people, I think a big part of that came from the dopamine rush people would feel when they’d tell themselves that they’ll have it one day. And when they have it in the 3D, they just feel peaceful with it because there’s nothing to “chase” anymore.

I agree with most of what you said apart from “you’re so close”. With the law of assumption there is no process. You ARE the void. Anyway enjoy having your desires. I’m really happy for you!!😭 Love you too beautiful ♥️

[slut4thebroken]

Pathetic

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Stepbro!Neil Lewis x reader

Summary | Your stepbrother is weird and annoying, but you’ve found a way to make good use of him.

Warnings | Smut, dub con? but like not really, incest technically, dry humping, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, he’s very pathetic, and subby, reader is very mean.

Words | 1.2 k

Notes | Idk in my head they’re both in college but still living at home lol. Also once again, I can’t think of a title😭

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

Kinktober | day 17: degradation

You thought your step brother was super weird and honestly a little annoying… but there were some redeeming qualities. He’ll pretty much do whatever you say— he’s only a few months younger, but he acts like it. Even though he’s taller and probably stronger, you can still boss him around like an older sister should. Then there was… his other useful quality. 

“You’re such a fucking pervert.” You spat, almost disgusted, and he whined behind you as his hips sped up. You were currently on your hands and knees on his bed, wearing just a shirt and panties. Neil was behind you, holding your hips still so he could dry hump you with his clothed dick in the cleft of your ass, over your underwear. “This is what gets you off? Humping your sister like a dog?” You snickered. 

“Oh god…” He moaned, rutting against you harder and faster. “Fuck, I- I’m gonna come.” He whimpered and you barked out a laugh. 

“Already?” His whines got louder and louder until his hips stilled a little and he was moaning and whimpering instead. You could feel his come soaking through both pairs of underwear and his cock twitching as it stayed pressed between your cheeks. “That’s all it takes? You just rub your dick on something and come in less than five minutes?” 

“Stop..” He whined pathetically. 

“Get off me.” You huffed, leaning up to push him down on the bed. You got him on his back, then straddled his hips and began grinding on him again, this time with your cunt.  

“Wait- wait,” He choked out, grabbing your hips. He let out a pained whine at the overstimulation, only encouraging you. 

“Don’t be such a baby.” You started grinding down on him harder, mostly to make it hurt more for him, but also to finally get yourself close to the edge. 

“Please stop..” He threw his head back and squeezed his eyes shut, barely coping with the overstimulation. 

“God- do you ever shut up?” You groaned, leaning over him to put a hand over his mouth. The new angle was stimulating your clit even more, making you curse under your breath. 

He sobbed out a moan behind your hand and looked up at you with glossy eyes, his brows scrunched together in pain. Pink dusted his cheeks and you couldn’t help but enjoy the sight. 

He’s never looked more pathetic. 

“Y’know, if you actually knew how to make a girl come, I wouldn’t have to do this.” You said bitterly, making him whine. “Of course I had to get stuck with a fucking virgin for a step brother. Maybe I’ll go find one of your friends— see if they have better stamina than a fucking teenager.” His hips bucked under yours, making you smirk a little. 

“Oh, do you like that?” You sneered. “Is that what you are, a cuck? Should I let you watch your friends do a better job than you ever could?” In response, he whimpered and shook his head. 

“You’re so fucking useless. This isn’t even worth it— I’m just going to get off by myself.” You started to lean up and when he reached out for you in a panic, you slapped his hands away. 

“No! I- I’m sorry. I can help.” 

“Can you?” You scoffed. “I don’t think your pathetic excuse for a cock will help me very much.” 

“My— my mouth..” You huffed, but laid down on your back, making him frown when your come soaked underwear got on his sheets. 

“Get to it then.” You snapped, bringing him into motion. He laid down between your legs and wrapped his arms under your thighs, then pulled your underwear to the side. He started with slow kisses and licks, quickly testing your patience. “Why am I coming like this and not with my vibrator?” You asked sarcastically, egging him on. Which got him to start moving more enthusiastically, sucking on your clit and slurping up your arousal. 

“God, you even eat pussy like a fucking virgin.” You muttered, sounding almost bored. He whined against you, sucking on your clit even harder and occassionally fucking his tongue inside you. 

You waited for him to bring you to the edge, but it was taking a while, so you decided to grab your phone and watch something to help you get there. The movement of you picking up the device caught his attention and he looked up at you without removing his mouth from your pussy. When moans started playing through the speaker, he immediately frowned and his ministrations faltered. 

“I let you come. Do the same for me or I’ll tell your mom about how much of a pervert her ‘precious baby boy’ is.” You snapped. He stared at you with slightly wide eyes, then reluctantly put his attention back on your cunt. 

The porn was definitely helping, as was knowing how degraded he probably felt. After a few minutes, he pulled back and you looked down at him, raising your brows. 

“My tongue is getting sore.” He explained with a pout, making you scoff. 

“You’re the one who begged to eat me out. Stop fucking complaining.” Using your free hand, you grabbed his hair and yanked his head back down, burying his face in your pussy. You held him in place like that for a few minutes, but when you started nearing the edge, you put his head in a leg lock, keeping his mouth pressed firmly against your cunt, giving him no other choice but to make you come. 

When you finally fell over the edge, you squeezed his head with your leg even tighter and your back arched off the bed. He was moaning against you and humping the bed, apparently enjoying your orgasm almost as much as you. 

After the pleasure faded, you let out a heavy breath and sagged back onto the bed, closing your eyes. Neil let out a soft sound against your pussy, so you sighed, but let your leg fall back down onto the bed, allowing him to pull off. The bottom half of his face was completely covered in his spit and your arousal, and he panted heavily for a few seconds as he wiped his face with the back of his hand. 

“Can I please come again?” He asked timidly, waiting until you had mostly recovered from your orgasm to ask. 

You looked down at him, then rolled your eyes and reached for your phone again. “Whatever. Hump my leg I guess.” He whined quietly, but straddled your thigh and started rutting against you while you scrolled through your phone, waiting impatiently for him to finish. 

Soon enough, his breathing was starting to pick up and his hips were moving more desperately as he neared the edge. “Fuck.. I’m gonna come.” He choked out, humping you frantically. When the front door slammed shut though, both of you froze. 

“Can you help bring in the groceries?” His mom called out from downstairs. 

“Be right there!” You yelled back, then sat up, making him whine loudly. 

“No- please.. I’m so close.” 

“Not my problem, loser. Get off.” You spat, pushing him off your leg onto the bed. You stood up, but paused when you heard quiet whimpering. More come was leaking from his underwear and he quickly reached down to try and salvage the rest of his ruined orgasm. You watched him stroke his erection through the fabric, getting his come all over his hands and crotch, making an even bigger mess. 

“You’re so fucking gross.” You scoffed, making him whine pathetically. Before leaving, you picked up his shirt from the floor and wiped the rest of his come from your ass, then put your shorts back on and walked out. 

[vinnellamadz]

Everyone asked for both so I’m gonna do both :3, PLEASE I am not a talented writer or anything please excuse me if it’s not as good

Lucifer X reader Headcanons

- Before Lucifer met you, he was definitely an emotional wreck.

He spent all his time in his workshop, creating things as a coping mechanism.

But as soon as he locked eyes with you, it was like a light bulb in him switched on, and he was instantly hooked on you.

- Lucifer tried his best to woo and court you.

As if his last moments on earth depended on it, he would smother you in gifts, specifically custom-made ducks that he always made sure were made with love and perfection.

His desire for you was so intense that he devoted all his efforts to winning your heart and making you his.

It was as if all his sorrows and woes melted away the moment he saw you.

- There were times that Lucifer almost gave up.

As he feared that you didn't return his feelings, thoughts of failure and despair filled his mind.

However, when you finally accepted his advances, he was overwhelmed with joy.

So much so, that he jumped into your arms and held you tightly.

It was a moment of pure blissful happiness, and he knew that he never wanted to let go.

- Lucifer was so focused on wooing you that he forgot to tell his daughter about you.

He was so concerned about making things perfect that he did everything in his power to ensure that your meeting was as perfect as possible.

He was so worried that you might not like each other that he tried to prepare for every possible scenario.

Spoiler alert, you and Charlie loved each other

- While visiting Charlie’s Hotel, a certain red-haired male was stepping a little too close to you for Lucifer’s comfort.

Lucifer saw the male coming closer and closer and grew increasingly concerned.

He did not like the idea of someone else being close to you, especially Alastor

Lucifer felt jealous and protective, and he wanted to make sure that the male kept his distance.

Safe to say you spent the rest of the visit with lucifers arm around your waist.

- Lucifer loves to take you out on romantic dates.

He always finds the perfect places to take you, with the most delightful settings.

He takes you to intimate restaurants, candlelit dinners, and romantic walks on the best beach in hell.

He makes sure to plan everything to the smallest detail, so that you always feel special and pampered.

Lucifer wants to show you how much he cares and appreciates you, and he does it through romantic dates that are always perfect.

- While Lucifer does have his shortcomings, he will go as far as needed to prove to you just how much you are loved every day.

He is committed to making your life a series of surprises and magical moments, and he will always go the extra mile to ensure that you feel loved and cherished.

In the end, Lucifer may have his faults, but he will never let them interfere with making sure you feel special and appreciated every single day.

Adam X reader Headcanons

- Adam does not typically get into relationships, but when he does, he tends to exhibit similar behavior patterns. He engages in playful teasing and name-calling as a way to show affection toward his partner.

Although these antics can seem somewhat derogatory, Adam ensures that his partner never actually feels bad as a result. While he might playfully poke fun at his partner at times, he is also capable of being loving and supportive (barely).

- Adam is not a typical romantic, and he is not used to expressing these types of feelings. Even so, he tries his best to court you in his own way.

There are times when he may act a little awkward or mean, but beneath it all, he truly cares for you.

While he might stumble over his words or lack the grand gestures, Adam shows his feelings through small gifts and nicknames.

- Although you might not be showing any signs of affection, Adam would never give up on courting you. He is persistent and determined to win your heart.

Even if you were to continuously reject him, he would continue to pursue you. Adam feels deeply for you, and he is willing to go to great lengths to make you his own.

So, if you truly want him, Adam would never stop trying to win you over with his endearing charms.

- Once you finally surrendered to his charms, Adams ego grew even bigger.

As part of his big ego, he became extremely affectionate and public in his displays of affection. He wants everyone to see you as a couple, and he doesn't mind who's watching.

Adam wants everyone to know that you're his, and he is going to make sure everyone knows it.

- Adam is an incredibly possessive and insecure man (I wonder why 👀), and he dislikes seeing other men around you.

When a male approaches you, Adam quickly swoops in, giving the other man a dirty look and then proceeding to make out with you in front of him. With his dominant display of affection, he makes sure that the other man knows his place.

Then, he takes you by the hand and leads you away, anticipating the night that awaits you both.

- Adam is a romantic man, and he enjoys date nights with you. He loves to spend time sitting on his balcony with you, eating takeout, and engaging in fun gossip.

However, he also appreciates having nice dinners together, and he enjoys taking you to the hottest concerts in town.

He also likes to express his affection for you through singing, he cherishes your presence more than anything else.

- Even with his flaws and occasional mistakes, Adam is a decent lover overall.

He may be imperfect and stumble at times, but his genuine desire to make you happy is what matters most. Although he may make occasional jabs and tease you, it all boils down to his genuine care for you.

At the end of the day, your happiness is what Adam truly cares about more than anything else. Even through all the ups and downs of a relationship, he will always do what it takes to make you happy.

- Adams favourite movie is frozen.

IM SORRY IF THIS IS OOC ITS MY FIRST TIME WRITING IN SO LONG

[ghostdiva]

Jax Character Analysis

this was something I was going to turn into a video essay. I unfortunately found out the hard way that I don't have the mental capacity to turn the analysis I made into a video essay. it's just a small essay.

that said, click the read more if you want to read some walls of text.

So, as some of you might guess, I’m a huge fan of the amazing digital circus. I’ve always loved when shows break down their characters, and show how they tick, what their experiences are, and how they coped with it. Especially when these characters are antagonistic in nature. There’s nothing like thinking “man, this character is an asshole”,vaguely wondering why, then getting their lore dropped and thinking “oh…. Well yeah that’d do it”, while coping with the emotional knives the plot just stabbed you with.

And fortunately for me, this show is all about the characters. I remember seeing posts from Gooseworx, the creator of digital circus herself, stating that this show was not only about the characters, but finding meaning in a stagnant life. Which I think is an amazing and deep concept to think about.

Now, there are posts made by other people picking apart every member of the digital circus. However I feel a lot of people get Jax misunderstood, often writing him off as a one-note, one dimentional asshole. Some people even think he’s an NPC, like they can’t fathom the idea that a person would be capable of cruelty, despite the world we live in today. And with how hellish, crazy, and wild the digital world is shown to be able to be, I’m frankly not surprised that a character would be capable of cruelty.

However, I hardly think Jax is 1 dimensional. I think there’s a lot to see and explore with his character. I will also point out now, that I am not condoning, supporting, or defending Jax’s actions in the show, I’m simply trying to understand the why’s.

That said, the first thing I want to address are the emotions Jax portrays throughout the show. I’m also gonna throw in some tells I’ve noticed, along with a sprinkle of shape theory. So let’s get into it.

Like any good storyteller, I’m gonna start at the very beginning. We, as the viewer, see a lot of Jax in the pilot, aka episode 1. The first thing I wanna point out is his facial expressions. Specifically, his tell that I’m going to refer to as “mischief mode”. Whenever Jax wants to cause mischief, his face will portray the tell of “mischief mode”, which is portrayed by his eyes and mouth sharpening into crescent shapes. In "mischief mode”, Jax sports a Cheshire grin, and his eyes squint a bit, creating crescents for every facial feature. He does this when he’s teasing the circus members, or about to cause mischief, which usually involves one of the circus members. Even when Jax isn’t smiling, if the corners of his mouth look sharp or pointed, he’s likely still looking to cause mischief.

But what about when Jax isn’t trying to cause mischief? Well, in practically every other scene we see Jax in, that doesn’t involve mischief, he looks bored. Jax wears expressions that range around boredom, apathy, curiosity, annoyance, and anger. Many times, when I’ve watched Jax’s character, I’ve found myself wondering if chronic boredom was ever a reason for him to do what he does. Especially since he almost seems to chase anything that is new or exciting. He does have limits though, as he’s shown in the pilot immediately booking it when he sees the abstracted Kaufmo.

Speaking of, I do want to talk about his actions in the pilot a bit. As well as his overall attitude toward adventures. With the gather the gloinks adventure, Jax approaches it with a level of apathy. The gloinks are so uninteresting for him, that he barely cares when the gloinks basically kidnap Zooble. Although, you could argue that everyone held a bit of apathy toward Zooble’s kidnapping by gloink, except for Gangle. Afterall, literally everyone just stood there and watched it happen, and Gangle was the only one even remotely looking distressed about Zoobles predicament. If anything, Jax is the only one who calls attention to Zoobles kidnapping by saying “oh no, they killed Zooble. Anyway you guys wanna get something to eat?”

In the pilot he seems to hold a sort of “no matter what happens, they’ll be fine” mindset, which is likely due to the nature of the digital world. Afterall, it seems that the only real way to “die” in the digital world is by abstracting. We as the viewer, see the characters of the digital circus go through things that’d kill a person in the real world. Such as falling from high heights, getting run over, getting eaten, and being slammed into the walls and floor. At worst this can jumble their characters code, making them glitch. However, outside of that, it would seem that physical harm has no real lasting consequences. And Jax, who is already accustomed to the digital world, knows this. Hell, with how often the circus crew gets thrown around on adventures, it wouldn’t surprise me if he ended up finding humor in the misfortune others face and experience. In fact, I’d argue that he does find humor in it, because he does go out of his way to cause that misfortune sometimes.

Getting back on topic, Jax’s approach to the Pilot’s adventure is one of apathy, and he didn’t care about it so much that he elected himself to check on Kaufmo with Ragatha and Pomni instead of participating. The only reason Jax ends up participating in the Gloink adventure at all, is because Kaufmo abstracted. The fact he flees within moments of finding out Kaufmo abstracted, implies that abstracted members are one of the few great dangers within the digital circus. It’s only emphasized more with Ragatha getting glitched after being thrown around by the abstracted Kaufmo. The next time we see Jax in the pilot, he’s running. He checks behind himself as if to make sure he isn’t being chased, before addressing Gangle and Kinger.

How Jax goes about this interaction is interesting to me, and I think it’s what made people think he wasn’t all that bad when all we had was the pilot. When Gangle asks Jax about Kaufmo, he lies about it, saying “oh he’s doing great”. Jax says that with a lot of sarcasm though, dragging out the “great” and making exaggerating gestures. I think Jax lies here because he knows that if he drops the truth here, he’s just going to be questioned. Gangle and Kinger would likely be distressed at the news, making them less likely to move. And Kaufmo is still roaming around the tent. When Jax hears Kaufmo’s growls, he quickly forces himself into mischief mode, using the bowling ball to get both Kinger and Gangle down the “Zooble hole”. Jax then quickly joins them, not only successfully removing all of them from the tent area, but also hiding them from Kaufmo’s abstraction.

A lot of people tend to write off Jax as an asshole, yet his actions seem to show him caring at least a little bit about the people around him. Afterall, if he didn’t care about them, he wouldn’t have forced Kinger and Gangle down the “Zooble hole” with him. He would’ve just left them there, where they’d likely run into Kaufmo and end up like Ragatha, who was left glitched and distorted in the hallway of the living quarters.

Now, you might be thinking “yeah he’s an asshole, not a monster. But what about episode 2? He basically terrorized Pomni and Gangle the whole time”. To which I’d say “funny you bring up episode 2”.

In episode 2, you’re right, we do get a lot of Jax being an ass. However, I’d like to point out what the adventure was called. “Candy Carrier Chaos”. I’m gonna emphasize a very important word here. “Candy Carrier Chaos”. Now, I’m going to preface this by saying, I’m pretty sure Jax is a literal thinker. He doesn’t sugar coat anything he says, in fact, he’s sometimes brutally honest. In episode 3, when Caine told them they had to collect paranormal activity, Jax took it as having to Capture all the ghosts. So when he’s given the adventure called “Candy Carrier Chaos”, where he has to track down a bunch of bandits and take back what they stole; Jax is stoked. The title, and general premise of the adventure implies that it’ll be a high action, high stakes adventure, with fighting, death, and well, chaos. So he goes into this adventure with that expectation, which is why he looks so apathetic until princess Loolilalu brings out the modded syrup tanker. From that point “mischief mode” is on until they go over the cliff and land in the fudge below.

Now I know you’re thinking “OP, Jax literally throws Pomni out of the truck”. You're right, however I think Pomni was only targeted here because Ragatha literally offered her by saying “I’m sure there’s something you could do to help out” in reference to the adventure. Jax, who’s more on the idea of pulling a vehicle heist, and realizing he’ll need an extra set of hands to help him if he wants to do it, just takes the offer. Now, you gotta remember Jax’s mindset regarding member safety. Which is that “they can’t really die or get hurt in a way that matters (that is to say, physically disabled or restricted due to injury), so no matter what happens, they’ll be fine.”

Now, this isn’t a healthy mindset in the slightest, but there is a bit of logic there. Pomni is still new and doesn’t know this yet, so she’s understandably hurt and confused by Jax’s actions. Which is why she doesn’t see Jax as someone who would be there for her, and we see this with Jax’s hand missing in this scene.

But this isn’t about Pomni, this is about Jax.

Now, once the truck goes over the cliff, everyone is on the outside of the truck. With the fudge monster, it looks like Jax is like, scraping the bottom of the barrel for what chaos he can cause. The most he could do was yoink Ragatha’s key to the Kingdom with the promise to let the fudge monster into the kingdom if he helps them capture the gummy gators. It’s a promise he makes good on, and it ends up being the last laugh he gets for causing chaos in this episode.

Now, with episode 3, we unfortunately don’t get a lot of Jax. from what we do get, we see him follow the premise of the adventure, vacuuming up ghostly under the idea that “collecting paranormal activity” meant “capturing the ghosts”. Ragatha scolds him for it, and when they have to choose between the 2 doors, Jax uses Gangle’s mask to see if the scary door was rigged or something. It was, as the door turned into a giant mouth, consuming Gangle’s mask, never to be seen again. This kicks off the plot, where Kinger and Pomni get separated from the group. I’d like to point out that this is the second time in a row that Jax’s actions has caused Pomni to get separated from the rest of the group. However Jax had no way of knowing that Kinger and Pomni would end up getting forced down the scary door. Once again though, his apathy toward them is made clear when all he has to say after this is “oh that’s the scary door”.

The next time we see Jax, he’s tied up and struggling against the rope. And if I had to guess, he probably just wanted to get free to capture the other ghost that Ragatha and Gangle had a tea party with. As soon as they all left Martha Mildenhall’s room, Jax stopped struggling. While he was tied up though, Jax’s expression ranged from enraged, to annoyed.

I’d also like to point out another little detail I noticed. And it’s that Jax gets visibly annoyed whenever someone has an emotional moment. He gets annoyed when Kaufmo’s funeral is brought up, he gets annoyed when Pomni explains why she wants to bring Gumigoo back with her. He gets annoyed when Pomni thanks Ragatha for being concerned about her. It’s almost like he gets annoyed at emotional vulnerability. And boy do I wonder why this purple twink has such a strong reaction to emotional vulnerability. I mean, there’s only a few times that Jax is seen being emotionally vulnerable himself, and each of these instances are at most, a second or 2 long. 

This brings me to the 4th episode, which is the most recent episode as of posting this. This is also probably the most interesting episode for Jax’s character so far, as he seems to take it down a notch when it comes to the mischief he usually makes.

The episode begins with Jax, Gangle, and Ragatha chilling in the common area. Jax wielding a baseball bat, and Ragatha trying to teach Gangle how to throw a baseball. While Ragatha verbally walks Gangle through the motions of throwing the ball, Jax says “you’re wasting your time Raggy”, in a teasing manner. Keep in mind, this is the first time we’re seeing the characters engage in actual play with one another. And Jax does seem to just want to play in the moment. Hell, I’d say he’s being very patient, waiting for Ragatha to teach Gangle to throw so he can hit the ball. He’s also displaying emotions outside his usual range. During this bit he has a neutral, focused, or curious expression, which I’d say is indicative of him just wanting to play a game. The only “Mischief Mode” tell present here is his smile, but his eyes aren’t squinted in the crescent shape that indicates it. So it’s very likely that he’s just having fun here.

When Gangle finally throws the ball, Jax swings the bat, hits the ball with his eyes closed, and the ball hits Gangle in the face. Ragatha immediately scolds Jax, assuming he did it on purpose. Jax immediately defends himself saying “I actually didn’t mean to do that”, but Ragatha doesn’t seem to care that it was an accident, and only sees that Jax hurt a circus member again. So the 2 start fighting, with Ragatha stating her anger at Jax for always hurting the other members, and Jax arguing that this time was an accident, and that if it were on purpose he would’ve been proud of it. Which implies that Jax wasn’t proud of the fact that he hurt Gangle here. He probably was just trying to play a game.

Outside of that, episode 4 has a lot of Jax scenes that show similar and different sides to him. We see him still get up to some mischief when he throws Ragatha in the deep fryer, but after that we see a more chill version of Jax. His expressions also visually seem more strained or forced in some scenes, which might allude to what Gooseworx meant when she said Jax would get worse as the episodes went on. When Gooseworx said that originally, people thought that the pranks and mischief Jax would cause would get more and more extreme, to the point where he crosses a serious line. However, I think that Jax’s “Mischief Mode” is a mask in it of itself, which was meant to cover up his feelings and emotions. And we as the viewer will see that mask slip more and more, as Jax’s mental state steadily declines. You see, Kaufmo was an example of what happens when you don’t have a support group in the digital world, and no one likes Jax. So why would any of the circus members try to be there for him? He’s not once shown to have any care for them in their eyes. To them, all he’s done is tease them, bully them, and sometimes even intentionally put them in harm's way. Even in moments where it wasn’t intentional on his part. I’ll admit, this does make me nervous for his character moving forward, but while Gooseworx said he’d get worse, she didn’t say he won’t get better. I really do want to see Jax get some positive character development, or even just get some more concrete reasons behind Jax’s behaviour.

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

Omg I am in love with your writing, I want to eat it-

A humble request for a Soap Drabble-

In the aftermath of a mission where Reader is kidnapped and tortured for information (the 141 saved them) Reader seems like her usual sunshine self, like she wasn’t just beaten within an inch of her life. Some accident happens while everyone is hanging out that triggers a flashback. Reader feels like she has to escape the base facility where she’s being held and the 141 chases reader, not knowing that it’s making it worse-

Basically a PTSD episode that leaves reader going all Rambo and Soap calms her down- lots of Hurt/Comfort and hugs :)

—Find Me

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 5k Drabble Masterlist ࿐ྂ

╰┈➤ ❝ [You're finally back in One-Four-One's hands, but that doesn't mean you're saved. Johnny tracks you down after a violent episode.] ❞

The worst part is that you don’t even remember most of it. By whatever coping mechanism that you’d been cursed with, all you can bring forward is snippets. The doctors tell you it’s a blessing in disguise, of course—if you remembered how they had broken you over, and over, and over again, you would be…unrecognizable. 

But not knowing and having this paranoia in the back of your skull was far worse than guessing where the new scars started and ended; how they got there in the first place. 

It was like everything was one second away from falling apart again. 

Sitting in the rec room on base, you may have managed to fool the therapists and pass through the medical evaluation, but you can’t, not for one minute, fool Johnny. 

It started with a casual comment.

“We don’t have to be here, y’know?” The Scot had said. “Let’s just go someplace a bit quieter, aye, Dearie? It’s gettin’ late out.”

You had sent him a side-eye, your arms crossed. It had been wrong to ignore the pound of your heart like that—to ignore how your skin was sweaty and your voice shook as you spoke above the laughing of fellow soldiers. 

But you had to keep the act up. Even with him. 

“It’s nothing, Soap,” you ease. “We’re all here to have a good time. I’m fine.”

Those cobalt blues were tight, worried. Every part of his face was tight with concern as his feet shuffled, elbow moving back to the table behind the two of you.

“You’re not actin’ right, Little Lady,” he mutters, his jaw clenching as he watches you closely. “There’s no shame in it—”

“Would you just quit it, Johnny,” you snap, looking over sharply. “God, I’m not gonna break apart like some weak bitch, okay?” 

He’s quick to clarify, hand moving up in a display you would use for a feral animal. “I never meant it like that.” 

Your head turns away, and you roll your eyes. Simon and Price watch closely from the corner of the room, their conversation from previous falling silent.

But you couldn’t have accounted for the way Gaz strolled past, or how the soldier was walking back over from the pool table, swinging his cue stick in some wide arch to mess around with his friends.

But you also couldn’t have accounted for the sudden flash you’d have to the breaking of bottles over your head—of glass being ripped out of your shredded flesh and thrown to the ground. 

Your body seizes up as Gaz’s cup shatters, and your eyes all at once go far away. 

Johnny’s shocked face had snapped to the scene in front of him, blinking quickly as he stood and was about to go get a broom.

“Best watch where you’re swingin’ that thing there, eh?” He says to the soldier who looks highly embarrassed, Gaz frowning down at the remnants.

“Oi!” Everyone’s eyes dart to Ghost’s outburst, but he’s not addressing anyone left in the room—the Lieutenant dashes out of the hallway, Price hot in his heels. 

Johnny turns back and you’re gone.

Racing away, your blood is hot and rabid, taking corners with record speed; the pounding feet behind you don’t help, the shouts. Every moment you try to get your head under control the sounds make it worse. 

You end up outside, lost in the trees as the branches slap your face and body—running with no destination, no thoughts. And you just keep going. Panting, your stomach is stuck in knots, and your aching legs shake until you fall over and heave into the grass; sobs breaking through. Your lungs can’t get air down.

You don’t know how long you were out there, you don’t know how long it took for Johnny to find you, but when he did you heard his quick call of your name—his desperate plea for you to breathe when he grappled for your shoulders. 

Your eyes stare blankly at him, gone to all else but your ringing ears.

Hands cup your cheeks. 

“Hey, it’s me, Bonnie,” he rubs along your flesh, petting your skin with his thumb. You’ve never seen his eyes so afraid before. “Hey now, hey. Come back to me, we’re both right here—just focus on me. You’re back home, then, aye? Back with me on Base. There’s nothin’ that’s going to happen to you long as I’m here. I made that promise, yeah? I intend to keep it.”

His voice is grounding for you—for your failing body as your addled mind tries to calm down. 

Johnny. 

You pull on that shred of remembrance of when he’d found you, beaten within an inch of your life. His tiny pupils, stuck in a sea of deep blue. His callouses holding you to him as he raggedly breathed into your hair, screaming for med-evac.

“That’s it, Dearie,” right here, right now, you sag forward. Widened eyes quiver as your lower face is pressed into his shoulder, Johnny’s hand hard on the back of your head. “That’s it—it’s just Johnny.” The man is shaking just like you are, even when your wheezed sobs make his chest tighten painfully. How your hands weakly grasp at his shirt in desperation; clawing for purchase. 

“It’ll always just be me.” Soap breathes, swallowing the saliva in his throat. “I’m gonna get you all the help you need….you bet on it. You’re going to be better, and I’m going to be with you through all of it.” 

The side of his face nuzzles into yours as you breathe in his scent, choking on the air but slowly starting to get it down.

“No one fights alone.” 

“Johnny,” you gasp.

“Shush, now,” he whispers, wrenching his eyes shut. “I’m here. Breathe. I’m here.”

“It hurts.” Your tears soak through his shirt, and his arms hold you tighter until he reminds himself to be gentle.

All he can do is try to hold back his own tears, his throat raw from his mad dash after you—he’d never run that fast in his life besides the moment he’d found you alive. 

“I know,” his voice cracks, rocking you back and forth like a child. “I know, m’sorry, Dearie. I’m so, so sorry.” 

“Don’t let go,” you plead. “Please don’t let go.”

“Never,” he growls. “Never in my life.” He says it with every ounce of goodness left in him.

“I’m never lettin’ you go ever again, aye? They’ll have to pry me off you.”

[guqqie]

This might be a really awkward question to ask and if it is I am SO SORRY but I just got diagnosed with PCOS yesterday and I’m wondering how you deal with it if that makes sense??? Maybe cope is a better word idk either way any words are GREATLY appreciated tysm :D

NOT AN AWKWARD QUESTION AT ALL!! Let’s talk about this :)

Not sure if you mean deal with as in the diagnosis or the actual symptoms but I will touch on both!

When I got diagnosed the doctor seemed more upset about it than I was. Usually with PCOS (polycystic ovaries syndrome) it means you have a lower fertility rate. Meaning it’s not impossible to carry your own children but it’s very likely there will be complications or even miscarriages. With me, I guess I am lucky I never had that maternal instinct to want to carry my own children, so it wasn’t really a loss for me hearing that. I already decided from a young age that if I was gonna have kids that I would adopt. When I got my diagnosis also I had already accepted it as I suspect I had PCOS for about a year at that point, so it wasn’t a shocker to me and I had already l known.

As for symptoms, sadly I am still figuring out what works to ease mine. Altering my diet has helped, but everyone’s body is different and what helps me may send your symptoms the opposite way. It’s a trial and error thing. I can’t take the hormonal medication to help ease my PCOS, if I could I would. And if you have that as an option take it. I can’t due to there being a history of breast cancer in my family (my mother having lumps removed, my aunt battling it for years and only this year getting the all clear and my mother’s aunt passing from it shortly before I was born). Hormonal treatments can enhance that gene so I would much rather raw dog and find other ways to help my PCOS. One piece of advice I would give is to be patient and kind to yourself. There will be times where it is bad, or you are feeling bad emotionally. But remember this is a thing that also fucks with your hormones, so you will feel intense depression, anxiety etc (maybe you will, i do due to it!). Just give yourself a minute when it gets to that.

I hope this helped, I am not a medical professional so take anything with a grain of salt. I am glad to hear you have a diagnosis and hope that it gets better. You got this! ❤️

[breakfastteatime]

As I am once again a querying writer™️, I thought I would share some general thoughts, feelings and tips about how to cope with what can be a long, drawn out, and incredibly hard experience.

With every query I send out, I expect rejection but hope for the best. Pessimistic perhaps, but I've found it really, really helps. To be clear, rejection never feels great (not even the personalised ones), but by expecting agents to pass on the submission, even from those who seem so perfect for the book, takes some of the sting out of it.

So, here we go: Breakfast Tea’s querying advice!

Ignore stories about other people’s querying journeys. You’ll hear about people who get signed by the first agent they query with the first book they ever wrote. Good for them. A friend of mine won a competition and agents came to her begging to represent her. Amazing for her, but those examples are also highly unrealistic for the majority. I’m on my sixth attempt (4 YAs – three of which were not good enough to be submitted in retrospect, and 1 adult thriller I’m still kinda bummed about but oh well!) and though I’m feeling really, REALLY good right now, I also don’t expect to get anywhere. I’m gonna shout from the hilltops if I do, buuuuut I also don’t expect to land an agent (as explained above). And if I don’t, well, onto attempt number 7!

Start writing something new as soon as you can. Ideally original fiction because agents will ask you what else you’re working on – and sometimes even ask you to outline this in the query letter (although I don’t think I’ve submitted to anyone like that in *years*). That friend of mine from above says agents also expect you to be in the same genre with the next project, so don’t query an adult thriller and tell them you’re now working on a picture book for toddlers.

If you can't write something new yet, find other distractions. Anything to take your mind off waiting for responses.

Have a rejection coping strategy in place. I find the first few don’t really bother me because of the whole ‘expect rejection’ mindset I try to have, but after a while they really, really, REALLY start to bring me down. Mine is usually eating cake and/or other little treats. Something that just reminds me I exist beyond my writing.

Accept the loss of control. Oh man, I hate this. I haaaaaaaaaaate this. Once that query package is sent out, that’s it. You’re out of control of the whole situation and you’re waiting either for a rejection, a full request, or just eternal silence. Thankfully most agencies are better now at specifying that silence = rejection. Patience is essential. I’ll let you know if I ever get any better at it.

You will get silences on full requests. You shouldn’t, but you will. I’ve had several. It is incredibly rude and exceedingly frustrating, but that’s querying for you. Even after chasing some agents just will not respond.

You may also get really rude rejections. Back in the 2010s I had one post about my story ON HER TWITTER PAGE after she rejected me. Like literally, I got the rejection and then I saw her tweet. Arsehole. And no, I can’t remember her name because I would publicly shame her. I’ve had rejections that were a sentence, I’ve had rejections that made no sense, I’ve had multiple rejections from the same agent on the one book I sent, I’ve had agents reject me by the wrong name, I’ve had agents reject me using the wrong pronouns (my name is traditionally masculine so my pronouns are in my submission). If you get something like that, blacklist them from any future projects. You deserve better.

I prefer form rejections to silence unless the agency specifies a timescale for ‘silence = rejection’. I personally prefer the certainty of a rejection. I know, weird.

Always chase agents who say it’s okay to chase them. You never know!

Personalised rejections are nice to receive. Oh, they still suck, but it’s a sign you’re on the right lines. And if an agent says ‘please submit your next project to me’ take them up on it.

If an agent forwards your work onto another agent who ‘may be more suited’ get excited but stay realistic. Many years ago, I had a project move between three agents (one of whom I’ll be submitting to again with this project). None of them signed me, but oooh it was so thrilling for a while! It was my second project – a YA sci-fi that actually got the most amount of requests of anything I’ve ever sent out. It will never see the light of day.

Don’t be disheartened if you submit to a contest and don’t get chosen – still query traditionally. Same if you submit to a course and don’t get selected. Agents don’t tend to read the submissions – readers do – so the agent won’t have seen your work yet.

You’re absolutely allowed to feel like shit and to cry about being rejected, but you gotta get back up and keep querying and keep writing.

You’ve got to be in the right headspace for querying. The last time I did it, I had to stop because I’d just started a new job with a huge new learning curve, and I couldn’t manage queries and new job at the same time. I resumed querying a long time later once I felt more settled.

Do not lie to agents. Now, this may be more specific to the UK, but agenting is a really small world and they all talk. So if you try to nudge an agent by going “Oh, another agent has a full request” or “another agent has offered representation” and that’s not true? You’re fucked.

Celebrate a full request – but stay realistic.

Agents will reject the same book for totally different reasons. I had one agent reject a horror novel because it wasn’t scary enough, and another because it was too scary. It’s all very subjective.

Agents are not rejecting you as a human being, they are saying no to what is essentially a business proposal. It’s a really strange way to look at it, but you are more than your writing!!!!!

Okay, I think that’ll do for now! Feel free to drop me an Ask if you wanna know more!

[zablife]

Favorite Ex

Summary: When Carmy’s stress and anxiety rise to unprecedented levels, he shuts down and pushes you away. However, you can’t stop thinking about each other.

Author’s Note: Inspired by Maisie Peter’s song “Favourite Ex" and lines from S1, E5 which I've italicized.

Warnings: language, mention of fire, angst, break up, fluffy ending

Shades of orange consumed Carmy’s vision, searing heat hitting his face, neck and arms as flames rose dangerously high from the burners. His hands should have reached for the fire extinguisher instead of remaining by his side, arm hairs singing to oblivion. In that moment he wasn’t sure if he was unable or unwilling to guide himself, but he was well aware it wasn’t normal, this lack of concern for his own well being. As black smoke collected around him, the shifting light danced in his darkened pupils, but he wasn’t present, his thoughts were far away with you. 

———————-

The light flickered above the kitchen sink as he watched you fill the coffee pot, the need for caffeine growing after days of getting up before five every day this week. “Carmy, did you pay the electric bill?” you demanded with a huff. You were always short with him recently and he knew he was letting you down, but the days at the restaurant were wearing on him.

Turning back to blow smoke out the window, he rubbed his eyes, trying to recall which bills he’d been able to take care of this month. 

“Are you listening to me? They’re gonna cut you off again. I told you last week about the notice,” you said, reaching for the stack of papers piled high on the counter. Unable to find what you were looking for in the chaos, you gave up, placing your fingertips to your temples. “Look, Carmy, I know you wanted me to move here permanently, but I think that was just the grief talking.”

Carm grimaced as he flicked the cigarette butt out the window. “The fuck are you talking about?”

“I mean, you needed someone here with you after Mikey—“ you began, but he cut you off, jumping up from the window and pushing past you to stalk down the hall.

“Don’t do that!” you warned him.

“What?” he muttered as he kept walking.

“That thing you do where you walk away and don’t talk to me for days. I can’t stand it!”

He turned on his heel, facing you with clenched jaw. “Well, what the fuck am I supposed to say when you tell me you’re here out of pity.”

You furrowed your brow at his accusation. “That’s not what I said. I want to be here, but not if you won’t talk to me about what’s going on with you. You just shut me out and I need more!” You’d finally said what had been on your mind for weeks now, too afraid to voice your own needs when your boyfriend was struggling with major life changes.

“Well, I can’t do that,” he shouted. His words were so harsh it felt like a stab to the back. You’d been there for him since he got the call about Mikey and sat with him night after night when he had horrific nightmares, waking covered in sweat, but unwilling to say a word about them.

“Do you know how many people need me right now? Syd and Tina are at each other’s throats, Richie’s always starting shit and Sugar’s calling me twenty times a day about meetings and talking to Ma. I don’t need this from you too. I can’t do this!” he said, body suddenly going deathly still, eyes fixing on a water stain on the wall just as the lights went out.

Observing his rigid posture, you knew he’d shut down. It was how he coped with stress and even though you hated it, you had to accept that you weren’t going to get any more out of him today. You wiped a tear from your cheek as you nodded to yourself. 

“Okay, Carmy. I’m gonna give you some space then,” you conceded, leaving him in the darkened hallway. He listened to the front door slam behind you as he rested his forehead against the adjacent doorway, knowing he’d fucked it all up and hating himself more than he already did.

——————————

“Carmy! Carmy!” A voice shouted, breaking through his haze and urging him to act. “Fire, chef!” Sweeps warned, moving up to take charge of the blaze. Carm finally moved back, shaking his head as though he were just realizing what was happening. Grabbing the fire extinguisher from the other man’s hands he pulled the pin and aimed the nozzle at the flames lapping at the stove, watching as a thick spurt of white foam issued forth. The fire died out with a sizzle and Carm breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

“Yo, Jeff, what happened?” Tina asked, popping her head around the corner.

“Fire’s out,” Sweeps declared, hauling the extinguisher off swiftly. Carmy turned to Tina, snapping back into work mode and asked, “Sorry, everything's fine. Did you finish your prep?” 

“Yeah, you alright?” she said with concern, glancing up and down his disheveled form.

“I need to go take care of something,” he mumbled, heading for the alley.

————————-

Your phone rang and you immediately reached to silence it, stopping when you noticed Carm’s number flash on the screen. It had been three months since you’d spoken and you wondered if you should even answer. He’d made it clear that a relationship was not what he wanted right now and you had made peace with that….until now. You had to admit you missed him.

Your best nights had been with Carmy, listening to music in his tiny kitchen as you cooked together. You could still feel the warmth of his hands on your hips as he checked the progress of the sauce over your shoulder. “More garlic,” he’d say with authority. 

“Fuck your one star, I’m the chef tonight,” you always told him. His smirk told you he was pleased with your assertiveness, happy not to have make any decisions for the night. However, your need to take charge caused your worst fights as well. You wanted Carm to talk about Mikey and the more you pushed, the more he retreated from you. He said you didn’t understand, but you cared deeply, wanting to help him through his grief. Simply wanting to take care for him if only he'd let you.

The buzzing from your phone continued and you finally decided to pick up, more eager than you should have been to hear his voice again. You cleared your throat anxiously before answering with a shaky, “Carmy?”

“Y/n? Sorry, I know it’s late,” he apologized.

“S’okay. What’s going on?” you asked, trying to sound casual as you picked at your pajama bottoms nervously.

“We had a fire at the restaurant today,” he began.

“Oh, my God, Carm, are you okay?” you blurted, worried about how calm he sounded despite what he’d just told you.

“Yeah, yeah. It was just a grease fire, you know? But the point is, I realized something. I was watching it and I had a minute where I thought—If I don’t do anything, this place will burn down and all my anxiety will go away with it,” he sighed heavily and your heart nearly broke at the sound, listening to him open up to you in a way you knew was difficult for him. 

“And then I put the fire out,” he finished. “I snapped out of it and I realized I’ve been avoiding a lot of things….I’ve been avoiding you because I didn’t think I could handle it all. Like I was waiting for Mikey to come back and fix all the fucked up shit he left, but I’m done with that. I want live my life for me.”

You nodded into the phone, lip trembling as you replied, “I’m glad to hear you say that.”

“I haven’t slept without you. I’ve cried for weeks. Nothing feels right without you, but I’m going to start making some changes around here and I hope you’ll come back,” he said, swallowing harshly as he awaited your answer. 

You searched the ceiling, wanting to say yes right away, but knowing how Carmy’s mood could change on a dime. “That sounds really good so let’s start with dinner first, ok?” you asked.

“Yeah, of course,” he rushed out, relieved to hear you would see him again. “You free Thursday?”

“Thursday? Sure,” you agreed. 

Then you heard him breathe into the phone as though he was letting out an anxious breath. “You still like chicken piccata?” he asked and you smiled, knowing he remembered your favorite. 

“Only if you let me help make the sauce,” you countered. “Fucking one star,” you quipped. You heard him laugh and it warmed your heart.

You liked the thought of calling him that again instead of your ex. He was your favorite ex, but that wasn't really a consolation. You hoped things were changing for the better, but only time would tell.

[evita-shelby]

Hi, hello

This is my first request ever, please ignore my spelling mistakes if there's any, I'm French so...

So how abt the femreader /OC (as you want) has an illness and is destined to die but Tommy pursue her and falls in love with her anyway and then she dies and we see how he copes. I'm a sucker for angst.

Thank youuu

You are welcome 😊

I cried so hard i ran out of tp to clean my snot.

Promise

Gif by @manie-sans-delire-x

Cw: death, illness, grief, suicidal thoughts

You hoped he’d forget about you while he was in France, but when he stepped down that platform he was as in love with you as when he had left.

You had broken things off with him before he even left and yet he returned to you as if nothing changed.

No matter how much you tried, Tommy never left your side.

Eventually you had to tell him the truth.

You were dying.

You had a year at most, the tumor was not operable, and it wouldn’t be long before you were dead.

“I can’t leave you, love, not when you need me most.” He had said as he held your face in his hands.

And he hadn’t.

Not when the barmaid showed up and made it clear to all that she wanted him, not when he provoked Kimber and certainly not when Campbell threatened to have the hospital deny you care if he didn’t give him the guns.

Campbell hadn’t expected you to laugh and spit at his face, “Do it, do your fucking worst, Inspector. I am dead anyways.”

You were dying, but you were never going to let Tommy and his dreams die with you.

You had a year.

And you had decided that your last wish was to see Tommy get the hell out of here and be the great man you know he is.

This you tell him as the two of you stand as witnesses for Freddie Thorne and his sister, Ada.

He couldn’t say no to you, he said so as you tied his tie for him and told him to drive you and Ada to the courthouse where Freddie was waiting with his cousins and a rabbi.

“It could be us up there,” he said quietly knowing you’d say no.

“Ask me again in a year.” You love him, and that is why you refuse to tie him to you like that.

Time passes slowly, you encourage him to pursue Grace because he needs the distraction. There was something there, on her side at least.

Not that he budged, said he didn’t need anyone else. Not when he had you.

“I’m going to marry you.” He says the words you feared the most. He did never learn to let go, even when death took those he loved most, he stood there refusing to let go.

“Tommy, I do not want to tie you to me like this. Not like this.” You plead for him to move on weeks later when he takes the barmaid to the races.

“I’m gonna marry you, when you go, I want you to go as my wife, y/n.” he vowed just as you vowed to see him succeed.

You supposed that is what had you say yes.

He wants to do things proper, keeping almost every tradition and custom in place that you find to your liking. Whatever you want for your big day, he and Polly make it happen.

Its sweet and thoughtful you think as he gets the two of you on a table at the Garrison and announced to all that the two of you will be getting married.

He had bought you a ring, a Claddagh ring like the one his mum had worn. Only difference was that the other one was lost in the Cut and yours had a red garnet heart to represent his love and devotion to you.

Tommy was a romantic, no matter what he did to hide it.

You dance in the dark of your room nights later to some old record your mama had since she settled here with your father.

“We could always elope, go somewhere just us and come back like our parents did.” He suggests and you nod.

As much as you’d like to do things properly, you’d rather get the things on your list done before you meet your maker.

Besides, that trip to Liverpool before the war had been lovely and you’d like to see the sea again before you go.

“I’d like that.” You say and that next morning the two of you set off to Liverpool like the wild teenagers the two of you used to be.

The wedding is lovely even if it happens in front of strangers, but the weekend the two of you spend as newlyweds is enough to make you forget your time is running out.

Perhaps when your health becomes worse you could return here, die somewhere beautiful away from everything.

“I wish we didn’t have to go back.” He admits as the two of you lie down on a blanket and enjoy the sun on your faces on your last day here.

“Once its over, we should come back here.” You say as if you knew for sure you’d be alive by then.

Zilpha Lee saw your death in the first chills of December. A black star and blood on Tommy’s heart.

It was late July now.

Only five months left in your clock. And you were going to make the most of it.

And you did, you danced at John and Esme’s wedding like there was no tomorrow. You gave the barmaid a good enough thrashing she never even got to call the police on Freddie and when little Karl was born it hurt your heart to know you would never have this with Tommy.

You wept like a baby in his arms as everyone celebrated down at the pub.

“Promise me you will love again.” You dry your tears and make him swear to live for you.

He cannot die with you, you refuse to let him.

“Don’t make me promise that, love, I’ve only ever loved you.” He shook his head, refusing to even think of a life without you in it.

It becomes the first of October that night.

You can’t hide your illness no matter what you do. A girl from the neighborhood is hired to help you and from your bed you play cupid between the sweet but never spineless Linda and the most unlikely dashing knight, Arthur.

When they finally go out ---with Finn to keep things proper--- it is late November.

And as if by magic, you are bursting with energy enough to leave your bed and make sure there is no loose string left by December 1st.

You are laughing with Polly over something when you see it in Tommy’s carefully annotated diary.

A black star on December 3rd.

He plans on having everything done by then, to deal with Kimber and Campbell that same day and spend the rest of your time on earth in a cottage by the sea.

It was supposed to be a surprise until you answered a call back from the woman renting it.

If only you could live long enough to get there.

But you won’t.

Zilpha had said on the day of the Black Star.

On December 3rd your time was up.

And you had fulfilled your mission, on that day Tommy would have reached the first step towards getting the hell away from here.

Only Polly knows what transpired during that meeting with Zilpha Lee and she holds you as your heart breaks all over again.

“Promise me you’ll take care of him.” You ask her as she holds you tight enough to put you back together again.

“Of course I will, sweetheart. Just like I told Martha Strong I’d take care of her boys and John’s Martha as well.” The older woman promised you as she gave you her Black Madonna.

Its is December 3rd when Tommy leaves the house as giddy as a boy on boxing day.

“After this it will be just us in that little cottage by the sea, love.” He had promised kissing you like there was no tomorrow.

And there wouldn’t be.

The moment the bullet strikes his chest, you collapse at his desk and never rise again.

By the time Jeremiah lets him go, you are gone.

That night, after the undertaker has taken you away to prepare you for burial, he takes your ring, a bottle of whiskey and his gun.

When he pulls the trigger, there are no bullets and he curses you for leaving and refusing to let him leave with you.

He wakes up in Charlie’s Yard, with his aunt and uncle wearing black for mourning.

“I promised her I’d take care of you, don’t make break that promise, boy.” Polly said as she helped him back on his feet.

After your funeral he leaves for the seaside, hoping to have the peace and quiet to finish what he started and yet as he sits there in ghe sand looking at the ring he gave you, he remembers your voice making him swear to live for you.

And he does.

On December 3rd 1922, he returns to the beach with May Carlton now wearing your ring on her finger.

“Thank you.” He whispers to the wind.

[sserpente]

A/N: Request from anon. Fluffy skinny dipping with Loki. Tell me something better than that, I’ll wait. Enjoy, everyone!

Words: 2568 Warnings: skinny dipping, implied smut, fluff

The air in Asgard smelled different. Fresher. Richer. You took a deep breath, inhaling not only oxygen but also that foreign Asgardian vibe. Summer felt a hundred times more intense around here. The heat was on the verge of unbearable, the glistening water right outside the palace inviting you for a swim to cool down. The whole planet felt like an Instagram filter—like someone had turned up the contrast, the saturation and the brightness all at the same time.

“How do you cope in this heat?” you complained, fanning air to your face with your right hand. You were sat in the lower parts of the palace with Thor’s friends Volstagg, Hogun and Fandral and of course, Lady Sif.

Odin had commanded you remained under supervision at all times. You didn’t quite understand what the fuss was about—it wasn’t like a mere Midgardian could wreak havoc among this realm but then again, he was probably just traumatised from the time Thor brought an Aether-infected Jane to Asgard a few years back.

But the company wasn’t so bad, especially upon learning new things about Asgardian culture. One person was missing though. You’d hardly seen Loki since your arrival even though it had been him to promise to keep you safe.

Boom—it had been like a heartbeat, like an explosion and just like that, you had fallen in love with the God of Mischief. It had started with a crush. A purely physical attraction that made you see beyond the things he had done on Earth all those years ago. Then you had gotten to know him and witnessed his wit and sarcasm day in and out. Soon, you began to see past the cheekiness and mischief until you had discovered a vulnerable god who would die for the ones he loved, an intelligent and kind man who might not have been a superhero and leaned toward a little selfishness every now and then but a good man nonetheless.

Loki had never been evil and you were now determined to convince everyone else of that mind-set as well. Especially now that you had been brought to Asgard for your own safety.

“It’s not so bad down here. I feel sorry for Idunn and her workers. The apple orchard is a sauna at this time of the day but the work won’t do itself.”

“First of all… you have saunas on Asgard? And second of all, if this is a realm of magic, why is there any labour at all?”

Volstagg’s cheeks reddened as he fought to explain it to you. “Well, let’s just say Idunn’s apples are special. They require skilled hands to handle them.”

“Right…” With a court nod, you emptied the rest of your drink and carefully put it back on the table—like hell you would smash it to the ground and scream “Another” like Thor and his friends did.

“Where’s Loki, actually?” you asked, attempting to sound non-chalant.

“Who knows? Causing some mischief somewhere probably. I for my part am glad I don’t have to see his face.”

“He’s been nothing but kind to me so far, Volstagg.”

“Hmm…” Hogun began, “He’s like a flesh-eating plant. He lures you in and then traps you in his claws. Be careful. We have known Loki for a lot longer than you.”

“Maybe you guys should stop giving him reasons to stab you in the back. Think about that.” Checkmate. That shut them up for a good minute.

You sighed. Well, in the end, you’d likely have a lot more work to do for them to accept the cheeky God of Mischief for who he was and why he behaved the way he did, it seemed.

“If you say so… I’m gonna go find him.”

“You can’t wander through the palace alone.”

You chuckled. “Watch me. I know where Loki’s chambers are. And I promise to scream if I’m getting murdered.”

“You shouldn’t joke about things like that,” Hogun insisted.

“I’m trapped on a different planet surrounded by gods. If I don’t joke about it, I’m gonna lose my mind.”

“I am still going to escort you.”

You rolled your eyes. Always obey Odin. “Fine.” Hogun wasn’t very talkative, at least.

It was a lot cooler in the palace—but then again, sacrificing a wonderful day that you could spend swimming and tanning and exploring to hide within some palace walls wasn’t all that appealing.

“Loki? Are you there?” Hogun was waiting around the corner with his hands clasped behind his back when you knocked.

Silence. You cleared your throat. “Loki, your hearing is a thousand times better than mine, I know you can hear me.”

A pleasant shiver ran down your spine when you heard a dark chuckle behind the door. A sliver of magic tore through the heavy wood of his door and it swung open, revealing him sitting in the shade on his bed with a book on his lap.

You blinked. He was dressed so casually. Bare feet, a green and soft-looking shirt with sleeves ending right below his elbows and wide black trousers reminding you of a comfy pyjama. Summing up, he looked hot.

“What are you doing here?” He was practically purring when he spoke your name, pulling a pleasant shiver from you. Something told you that Loki knew you were absolutely infatuated with him and boy, was he having fun with it. You sighed, letting it go for now. It was too hot to complain.

“I want to go swimming.”

“You want to go swimming?” Loki frowned at his book as if you’d suggested going rollerblading on the Bifrost bridge. Although… that actually sounded like a fun idea as well.

“Yes, Loki. It’s summer, it’s hot and I am melting. You’re a Frost Giant, how on Earth do you cope?”

“By staying inside where it’s cool, reading and most importantly, keeping my mouth shut.”

You grunted, closing the door behind you. “I’m gonna pretend like I was unable to take the hint to leave you alone. What are you reading?”

This time, it was Loki who sighed.

“Why don’t you ask Thor and his foolish friends? Are they giving you trouble?” he asked instead of responding to your question.

“No. Just… Because I want to spend time with you. And because they’re boring, obeying every single word the oh-so-allmighty-Odin says.” You threw your hands to demonstrate how ridiculous you found the whole situation.

Finally, Loki looked up from his book, a sly smirk tugging at his lips. “What makes you think that I won’t?”

“Please. You are the God of Mischief. And rules are made to be broken, right? You remember that pretty lagoon west of the Bifrost Bridge that you told me about? The one with the cave? I want to go there. Please, Loki. Pack your book and let’s go. If I’m on a different planet, at least I want to explore it a little.”

Loki considered you for a moment, almost as if he was trying to figure out whether you were just mocking him. Then, finally, he shut his book and elegantly stood from the bed. “Very well. Let’s go.”

His smile was genuine—it had to be. His book vanished into thin air the very moment his door swung open again.

“Quick. Before Hogun realises we are not really headed to the kitchens for a cool drink.”

Loki escorted you through one of the servants’ exits to avoid the guards and more importantly, Thor and his friends. The earthy path was steep as you followed him down further and further away from the palace until you reached the shore and the ground to your feet turned into warm sand.

A small boat was swaying in the water, tied to a rock in the sand with a thick rope. Loki, however, did not make a move toward it. Instead, he offered you his hand. Intrigued, you took it. Next thing you know, he transformed into an eagle, his talons gripping your hand tightly.

You cheered when you took off and he flew across the water towards the lagoon, your naked toes grazing the cool ocean water in the process. The landing, a few minutes later, was smooth and then, just like that, Loki’s eagle aspect disappeared again.

“That was incredible! Can you turn me into an eagle as well?”

“Potentially. It takes years to master transfiguration like this. Your body would have to adjust to the new form and you would have to learn how to fly. If I transformed you now, you would quite possibly drown.”

“Right.” You turned around, taking in your new surroundings. The lagoon was stunning. It looked like the inside of a volcano, a hollowed-out rock with a pond with the clearest sea water you had ever seen in the middle. Vines, trees, and flowers all grew around it, spreading a lovely scent, and the small cave at the opposite end looked like the perfect spot for camping. The waterfall was by far the best part of it all though. It was gushing and loud, drowning out all noise from the outside and reverberating within the lagoon.

“This is beautiful. How come no one ever comes here?”

“Well… Asgardians are not too keen on swimming. Most of them never even learn it unless they’re training to fight battles. It is considered impure and in some cases, disrespectful to swim in open waters.”

Loki waved his hand, letting a dark green picnic blanket appear in the sand that mixed with green grass where you stood. Along with it, he conjured up a golden plate full of grapes, apple slices, strawberries and other fruit you didn’t recognise. He sat down on it with his book in hand.

It was then you realised you didn’t actually have any swimwear.

“What? Why is that?”

“Ah, well, you see, according to our lore, the giant Ymir was slain so the worlds could be built. His brains became the clouds, his bones became the mountains and his blood became the oceans.”

“Are you trying to tell me I’m about to swim in someone’s blood?”

Loki chuckled. “Something like that.”

You suppressed a grin. Should you? It was only the two of you here after all. And what sent a clearer signal for “I like you, I’m attracted to you and I want to have sex with you” than skinny dipping? You shrugged your shoulders. You were on a different planet. Things couldn’t exactly get any crazier from here.

You pulled off your shirt and then peeled yourself out of your shorts. Your bra came off first after that. With your back turned to Loki, you could still practically feel his blue eyes boring into you. By the time you stepped out of your knickers and revealed your arse to him, he sucked in air so loudly you could even hear it over the waterfall.

Unceremoniously and gathering all of your swimming training from your school days, you dived head-first into the clear water as gracefully as you could muster. The water was divine. It was cool and salty enough for you to float without too much effort and the little fish you saw swimming past you didn’t even seem to be scared of you. You’d have to ask Loki for some fish food for them.

“I could have conjured you some swimwear, you know.” His blue eyes were glued to you. You grinned, swimming in his direction. The clear water did very little to conceal you and it was even clearer that the God of Mischief was having a hard time not to look down.

“And where would have been the fun in that? What are you doing, come in! It’s lovely! I dare you,” you added. “Oh no, whatever will all those fancy royals at the palace say if they find out one of their princes is skinny dipping with a peasant?” Dramatically, you brought the back of your hand to your forehead and then disappeared underwater for a moment.

When you emerged, Loki was standing and taking off his clothes. Yes.

“Last time I caused an uproar, I was in the middle of a feeble attempt at taking over Midgard. They’ll be relieved to hear I have resorted to less scandalous activities.”

Seeing Loki shirtless was quite possibly the highlight of your entire day. But he didn’t give you much time to drool over his muscly pale chest and those strong arms. He wasn’t wearing any underwear. When those comfy trousers came off, he was naked and damn, was he glorious even in a flaccid state. You didn’t even bother pretending not to stare.

Loki smirked and then, much more gracefully than you, dived into the pond. He looked downright gorgeous with wet hair when he emerged only a few inches away from you, so much so that you almost forgot to keep yourself afloat.

“Cat got your tongue? You aren’t going to back out now, are you?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Loki.” For a split second, playing Marco Polo with him crossed your mind but now that you had him naked in the clear water, you could think of more… adult activities.

“Can I ask you something?” You just needed some confirmation first. He’d promised to keep you safe but did that mean he reciprocated your feelings? Not necessarily, right?

Loki raised his eyebrows at you—in a gentle, teasing manner this time.

“Why did you agree to come here with me? I mean… the others… they’d never let me be alone with you. If they knew, they’d drag me out by the hair. Or you, whoever they manage to grab first. I guess… after everything that happened between you and the entire planet Earth, I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with a human beyond a genuine promise to make up for the past.”

Loki’s face fell.

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

He shook his head. “You did not. Let’s just say I forgot for a moment that you are mortal.”

Oh. “Is that bad?”

“I will have outlived you in a matter of decades. So yes. That is bad, pet.” Pet. You sincerely hoped he wasn’t able to hear the moan that escaped your lips. “I am not a villain. And it took a lot of convincing to make me realise that. So why would I not? I have no reason to meet you with hostility if you don’t either.”

You smiled at him. “That’s what I told them today, you know? That you wouldn’t have betrayed them if they hadn’t given you a reason to do so. And… That just means we’ve gotta make use of the time that we have even more, no?”

With that, you took the leap. You leaned forward, clung to him like a monkey and wrapped your arms around his neck. Your naked skin against his felt heavenly, even more so underwater. You kissed him as if your life depended on it, teeth clashing, tongues battling… your entire being lost itself in Loki, how good he tasted and how skilled of a kisser he was.

When you broke apart, you were both out of breath and a little surprised by what had just happened. Your eyes fell on his swollen lips.

“Admit it,” you whispered.

“What?”

“Admit it. You like me.”

Loki chuckled. “I wouldn’t put up with you if I didn’t, pet.”

A/N: Come say hello on my blog for more Imagines and my novels! ♥

[demonsslayersstuff]

Memory Lane (past Erwin Smith x Reader, Levi Ackerman x Reader)

Description: A fic about how the reader copes and moves on from death. Past Erwin x Reader and Levi x Reader as reader moves on. (More of a hinted Levi x Reader, it’s not really the focus) This was inspired by the AOT song Memory Lane. I tried to follow the canon timeline as much as possible with a little bit of creative freedom.

Warnings: Angst, grief, anger, depression, Character Death, comfort, moving on, mentions of injuries.

A/N: Firstly I am so sorry I have not posted in a while. Life has just been so busy. I will keep posting fics, but it’s gonna be some lengthy time in between posting. Anyway….I wanted to try writing a bit more of an angsty and slow burn fic, so keep in mind it is a bit depressing at times, but I did end it on a lighter note. Also I’m sorry if it’s not the best. I tried, but the ending isn’t the best. Enjoy and thank you for the support!

Can’t you see how much we lost? Thousands now have gone. But still we’re alive, now where we wanna be?

The vast expanse of blue is all that your brain can comprehend at the moment. In all of your wildest dreams, you had never imagined that you'd be standing here, seeing the "ocean" in person. You had never doubted your partners endless rants about there being an outside world, but now that you were seeing it, it was hard for you to fully grasp. So as the others race to rip their shoes off, the need to feel the water against their skin their top priority, you remain rooted in a complete standstill. The longer you stared, the more you came to realize how color of the water matched the hue of Erwin's eyes nearly perfectly, knocking the wind out of you. He’d never gotten to see this sight, races through your mind before you can stop it. Being in the Survey Corps you’d know death, experienced it first hand countless times, had managed to keep it together. But his death was different. It was like a tidal wave of grief, just as you thought you were getting better, the strong current sucked you backed in, drowning you. You were unable to prevent the salty tears that had slipped down your cheek, but you didn’t want to cry, not here, not now. So you took a deep breath and closed your eyes, hoping the pain would pass quickly.

“You ok?”, comes a familiar voice, one that you hadn’t heard in the past few weeks. You open your eyes, turning left to look down briefly at Levi. “I’m ok”, you mutter, unable to disguise the venom your voice held. You knew deep down Erwin’s death was not his fault, but you still hadn’t forgiven him for giving Armin the Titan serum. You honestly weren’t sure you ever will. An uneasy silence falls between the two of you, both unsure of what to say. So, the two of you simply stand silently, watching as the others goof off in the water for a time. The sun begins to sink below the horizon when you finally break the silence. “He never got to see this”, you say nearly inaudibly, but you know Levi heard you. You look into his steely blue eyes for a moment before stepping away, heading back towards the horses. “I’m sorry”, Levi says, much too quietly as the sunlight begins to slip away.

I’ll be here waiting for you, hope you find the way. Our home, sweetest home, you will come back to me.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?”, Hange asks, eyeing you carefully. “No one would blame you if you wanted to sit this one out”, they continue. You sigh deeply, taking some time to ponder your thoughts. “There’s nothing left for me here. Besides we both know Erwin would have immediately planned a mission to see whatever is out there. So please let me do this”, you plead. Hange is quiet for a second before, “Very well, it won’t be today or probably even next week, but I promise you’ll be on that first mission”, they tell you. “Thank you”, you say, relief washing over you, happy to be able to live part of Erwin’s dream. “Before you go. I found something, something I think he would have wanted you to have”, Hange says, tone softer.

You glance at them curiously for a moment, watching as they placed a small dark satin box down on the desk. “Not that my words really mean anything, but he cared for you deeply”, Hange continues, choosing their words carefully. “I know had he not….aside from the Corps, you were Erwin’s world. He loved you and I’m sorry I’m the one that’s giving you this and not him”, they finish, the atmosphere now somber. You slowly reach out, carefully touching the smooth box, too scared to open it. “Thank you”, you manage to say evenly. You grab the small box, slipping it into your pocket before standing up, quietly dismissing yourself. As you step into the hall you nearly run into Levi, presumably on his way to speak to Hange, but you don't stop to apologize. You scurry down the hall, hoping to make it back to your room before another round of tears begins. Levi simply watches you go, knowing it was best to leave you alone for now.

In the wind, echoes of you. Let me know, memory lane. I wore the coat, the one you gave to me, meet me here.

The years had passed slowly and quickly at the same time. One year turned into two and then two years turned into five years without Erwin. So much had changed, the world you'd both know was completely gone. While time had begun to heal your wounds, seeing people who lived outside of the wall, the technology they brought with them was still painful to witness at times. The scouting trip to Marley was what finally pushed you to come to terms with reality. It was time to look towards the future.

You reach out and brush the old dirty brown leaves off of the grave that you were kneeling in front of. You fingers linger on his name etched into the now weathered stone. "Hey blondie", you begin, using his old nickname. In the beginning, Erwin had hated the name, but over time he had come to love it, turning it into a term of endearment, one that was only used behind closed doors. "This will probably be the last time I come here, it’s time…I need to let you go", you continue, you knew you weren't coming back. You'd made that decision after the world you knew had crumble before your very eyes. You couldn’t keep holding on to the past. Your hand moves to touch the necklace that rested on the hallow part of your throat, Erwin's final gift to you. "I wish you could have gotten to see all of this, but I know that you are here with me always", you finish. You take steading breath before leaning to kiss the stone briefly. "Goodbye Erwin", you murmur against the cool marble before standing up. You slowly walk back up the path towards the barracks. You pause, looking back towards the graveyard, taking in one final look. The past is the past, it's time to look towards the future, you think, knowing there was one last place to visit before you left.

A short while you knock on his door and when he gruffly says “Enter”, you take a calming breath. When the door opens and he sees that it’s you, Levi’s eyebrow shoots up quizzically for a second, but his face falls neutral again. “Surprised to see you here”, Levi comments. “I wanted to talk”, you say, standing awkwardly near his nearly empty desk. You weren’t the only one who seemed to be tying up loose ends. “So talk, I need to leave soon”, he replies dryly. Since that day on the beach years ago, the two of you had been indifferent. Back when Erwin was alive, you’d considered Levi one of your closest friends, but that all changed. You knew things would never be the same, but regardless you wanted to try. “I’m sorry”, you start. Levi looks up at you, face still indifferent. “After Erwin died I struggled, I was angry and I wanted to blame someone. That someone became you and it wasn’t fair. I was grieving my partner, but I forgot that you also lost one of your closest friends”, you continue, eyes staring down at the floor. “Things will never be the same, but I wanted you to know that I don’t blame you. Erwin died on his own terms”, you finish. The room fills with silence. You move your eyes to look at his face before you step towards his desk and place the green cloak you’d been holding down. “He would have wanted you to have this. I’ll see you tomorrow”, you say before you leave his office as quickly as you walked in.

Levi stares at the door for a moment once it’s shut before his eyes fall down to his desk. “I forgive you”, he mumbles before deeply sighing. Tomorrow would be a new chapter in both of your lives, whatever would happen he knew the were on the same team.

Life back then was simpler. Now it's not the same. The part you would play was so unthinkable . Feels likе only yesterday. I sat herе with you. We were in our hearts to be invincible.

“Levi”, you say, voice filled full of emotion as dread fills your body. Never had you seen him this injured before. He was humanities strongest soldier, he was the epitome of what a soldier in the scouts regiment should be. But as you finally reach him, that image fades away. You eyes scan his body, carefully assessing which wounds where the most fatal, trying to figure out where to start.

“Here”, Hange says, handing you what you assume is a medical kit, as they come to crouch next you. “Jesus fuck”, they mumble, moving to cut away what was left of his burnt uniform. “I’ll stitch the face, you take the chest and hand”, you tell Hange, trying your best to stay neutral, knowing Levi would never forgive you if you let your emotions take over. “Got it”, Hange says, opening the kit, pulling out various supplies. The two of you work quickly, cleaning the wounds, hearing the occasional groans that fall from Levi’s mouth, though he remains unconscious. “I can’t save the eye…I’ll need to stitch it up to stop the bleeding”, you tell Hange, tone frustrated. “Yeah well his fingers are long gone. Right now it’s about saving his life, not about keeping him pretty”, they reply, tone bleak.

With the stitching done, the two of you wrapped his wounds with the sterile bandages, knowing there was nothing else to be done. “I’m going to do a quick scout”, Hange says, pulling on their green cloak. “Stay here, keep an eye on Levi, I’ll be back soon”, they finish before disappearing into the now dark woods. You stay close to Levi, keeping a watchful eye on the steady rise and fall of his chest, still worried he could succumb to his injuries. The worry only slightly fades when his hoarse voice breaks the silent evening air. “Y/N”, he croaks, trying to sit up. You’re quick to push him back down. “Stop, you need to rest”, you tell him, trying hard to keep your voice steady.

Levi lays back down, his good eye catching your face. “Zeke?”, he questions. “Got away”, you reply, watching anger seep into his visible features. “Don’t worry, we’ll get him”, you continue, trying to reassure him. “Not exactly gonna happen if we kept lounging around”, Levi responds curtly. You could hear the frustration and disappointment in his voice. He’d failed Erwin again, the one promise he’d made him that he hasn’t be able to keep. “We aren’t lounging. You need to reciprocate. You nearly fucking died Levi”, you say taking the opportunity to check his bandages, making sure they remained in place.

“I wish I had”, slips from his mouth before he can even stop himself.

“What?”, you say, turning to look at him. “Y/N-” he starts but you cut him off. “How dare you fucking say that. We’ve all had shitty lives Levi, we’ve all lost people we cared about”, you start, voice raised. “But that’s the job! So sorry I saved your life. Maybe you forgot that I care for you, and I didn’t want to lose you either”, you continue, your emotions taking control, tears gathering in your eyes. “I can’t lose you, not after Erwin”, you finish, voice falling quiet, the last part barely audible. You were angry, angry that Zeke got away and Levi was nearly killed in the process. When was this hell going to end, you think as you try to calm yourself down. A weak, but steady hand grips your own, bringing you out of your thoughts. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean like that, I’m just so…tired” Levi says. “I know, I just, don’t know what I’d do without you”, you tell him honestly.

Before Levi has a chance to respond Hange comes back. “Sorry to break up this little party, but we’ve got things to do”, they say slightly out of breath. It’s only when Hange comes closer to the fire that you see the make shift wagon they brought with them. “That for me”, Levi asks. “Yep, first light we move out. We need to back to base and reassess”, they reply coming to sit down next to you. “It’s time to get rid of these Jeagerists”, Hange continues, tone darker. The conversation falls into somber silence, the true meaning of their words sinking in. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

In the wind. Echoes of you. Let me know. Memory lane. I wore the coat. The one you gave to me. Meet me here.

Thick mist fills your vision as you try to find the others. You move slowly, limping forward as you try to gain your bearings. As you continue to move forward you see a figure in the distance. You quicken the pace when you see some blond hair, thinking Armin was just up ahead. “Armin we..”, you start but the words die in your mouth as the figure comes into the full view. “Erwin”, you whisper, pain laced in your voice. His blue eyes lock onto yours for a moment. It was as if time were frozen. He looked so young, almost carefree. You watch as a smile breaks out across his face, before his fist comes to rest on his heart. “Erwin”, you say again, moving to reach out towards him, but before you can touch him, he slips away like a distant memory after a moment of clarity.

Just then the mist fades and the sunlight peaks through the clouds and the reality of what happens finally sinks in. The war was over and you had survived. You fall to your knees with a strangled cry. You had survived. As that phrase repeats through your mind, you wonder who else has survived and that’s when he finally enters your mind. “Levi”, you say quietly at first, standing up. “Levi”, you repeat, this time shouting as you move quickly across the barren landscape. “Lev-” you begin but stop as you take in the form of someone sitting up against some rocks. You run closer and relief instantly hits your body as you see that it is Levi.

“Levi”, you shout again as you race towards him. Your body slams into him with a forceful thud, knocking the wind out of both of you. “Fuck”, he mutters as you wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. “Sorry”, you say as you move back. “I just can’t believe that we’re alive”, you say breathless. “Calm down”, Levi mutters, but even you can hear the relief in his voice. You move to sit next him, now in no rush to leave, knowing that Levi can’t walk with his injured leg, but also knowing that someone would eventually find you.

It’s quiet for a time before, “Levi?”, you ask softly. “What?”, he murmurs back. “What happens now?”, you question, turning to look at him. He looks at you for a moment before shrugging his shoulder. “No fucking clue”, he responds a bit a later. “All I know is that I’m done with this shit”, he continues. “Will you go back?”, you ask him, softly as more time passes. “Nope, I need a fresh a start. Something else, something new”, Levi responds, choosing his words carefully. “What about you?”, he asks. You shrug your shoulders. “I said my goodbyes. There’s nothing left for me there” you say turning to look at him. His dark blue eye looks into yours. “Do you want to…try this new life together?”, you ask him quietly. Levi closes his eyes and leans his head back against the rock. “As long your ok with me no longer being humanities strongest soldier”, he mutters. You chuckle slightly, “You know that was never important to me”, you mumble, your hand falling down, placed between the two of you. “I know”, Levi replies quietly before his hand falls on top of yours, squeezing it gently. The war was finally over, you were ready to start a new chapter in your life, this time with Levi in it.

[weirwoodweirds]

I don’t get why everyone’s so mad about the Alicent/Criston sex. Like yeah if you’re into rhaenicent, I get that, I am too, but we can’t seriously be believing we’re getting a happy ending or that Alicent isn’t repressed and makes bad decisions(I love her but be real).

(Let me be clear, I would say I’m team black just bc team greens reasoning is misogyny, but actually I’m neither team, I’m team let’s watch a cool show with cool lore. I’m team Hot People Doing War Crimes and Being Sad)

Like it or not it’s in character. For both of them. Criston hasn’t had sex with anybody since Rhaenyra, Alicent was repeatedly raped, they’re both super repressed due to religion/oaths/etc. They have a strong bond, Alicent stopped Criston from killing himself and was the one to trust him and ensure he maintained his honor after the whole debacle, Criston has cared for her kids and protected her dutifully for years. And more importantly he’s loyal to her. Not Rhaenyra or Viserys, not Otto or Aegon. He is literally the only person who considers his duty to be to her, who protects her and follows her orders. And even more so now her sons are no longer under her control and she sees that Otto has been manipulating her the whole time.

They’re both in a dark, emotionally tumultuous place where they make bad decisions, it’s war, and war they caused. Alicent loves Rhaenyra, sure, but her son just murdered Rhaenyras. There’s no coming back, there’s no rectification like she hoped. She’s lost hope in any happy reunion. Sex is a way people cope. It’s not healthy, but they do it. (And frankly it’s kind of fucked how many people I’ve seen saying she’s being disloyal to Viserys. First of all, he’s dead. Second of all, he raped her regularly for twenty years, neglected their children, and never cared about her)

And honestly, it’s fucking interesting for their characters! Alicent is gonna be more full of shame now than ever, get even more depressed and hopeless, and likely will end up ending it with Criston. Which will be a full rehash of the situation with Rhaenyra, and likely make him do the exact same thing he did back then, resent her and find someone new to serve, namely Aegon, as he grows more and more out of Alicent’s control and Criston becomes hand.

And then Alicent will be as alone as she’s ever been, having lost her childhood friend forever, abandoned by her sons who she put in power, her father who was never on her side to begin with, her daughter mad with grief, one grandchild dead and the others traumatized, and now her loyal knight abandoning her. All for her to eventually be alone with her traumatized daughter when the Blacks take Kings Landing, when she is permitted to live to watch everyone she cares about taken one by one and outlive them all. Seems like a pretty fair setup for her endgame.

And Criston will be with Aegon, and feeling more shame than ever, having twice soiled his oath, and will turn to violence and rage, just as he did at Rhaenyra’s wedding. Except now on an insanely large scale. But his position as Hand won’t matter, Aegon probably won’t listen to him, we have book evidence Aemond won’t, so he’ll progress into violent rage, trying his damnedest to convince himself that he’s doing the right thing and knowing he’s not. And then he’ll attempt to die with honor, and not even be permitted that.

[writeforfandoms]

Waking Lions 15

Find the series masterlist

You and John finally start talking. Progress is made in planning.

Warnings: Swearing, flirting, Price needs his own warning label, brief panic, mention of past trauma, Ace has zero healthy coping mechanisms and it shows.

Word count: 1.7k

You woke slowly, disoriented and warm and confused. This did not feel like your bed at your safehouse. Were you still at your safehouse? When had you crashed?

A soft snore from within the room reminded you.

Right. Captain. And Kate. They had conspired against you.

You breathed for a few moments before you very carefully got up. You were still fully dressed, your shoes set neatly next to Captain’s boots. It was oddly… domestic. You ignored the twinge in your heart with determination and snuck across the room, careful not to disturb Captain sleeping on the couch. 

You had your shoes in one hand and were reaching for the door when a droll voice asked, “Going somewhere, love?” 

“You were asleep.” You didn’t move, didn’t turn to look at him. 

“And now I’m awake.” His voice was rough in the morning, something you tried valiantly to deny you found attractive. 

You huffed and finally turned to look at him. He was sitting up on the couch, blue eyes focused entirely on you. Having the weight of that stare on you was… daunting. 

“Were you gonna run again?” His voice was curious, lacking judgment. 

You blew out a slow breath, debating how honest to be with him. But, well… He’d supported you all the way in here. He’d taken the couch and given you the bed. And… Well. 

You remembered the tension yesterday. How close he’d been. 

“Not sure,” you answered honestly. “Wasn’t really planning, just… going.” 

He huffed, a soft sound of amusement. “Not even breakfast first?” 

That startled a little laugh out of you, and your shoulders relaxed. Your shoes dropped to the floor again with a quiet thump. “You offering?” 

His lips twitched with amusement. “I am.” He held still, merely watching as you slowly approached the couch. 

“Part of your nefarious plot, I’m sure,” you teased, stopping out of arms reach. 

“Nefarious, hm?” He tipped his head. 

“Oh yes. Very nefarious.” Your teeth flashed in a grin. “After all, you’re in cahoots with Kate, and she’s the most ruthless person I know.” 

He chuckled, low and rumbling. “You’ve got a point there,” he agreed, shifting to set his feet on the floor, gaze still locked on you. “Feeling better today, I see.”

“Yes, well.” Your gaze slid away from him. “Knocking out for however many hours certainly helped.”

“Nearly ten.” He stood with a little grunt, stretching his arms up over his head. Your gaze darted down to the sliver of tummy that stretch exposed, noting the dusting of hair, and quickly looked away again. “I wasn’t joking about breakfast.”

“You fuss over your boys like this?” You joked, turning away to protect yourself. The sight of Captain still sleep-tousled was very dangerous. 

“The boys don’t try to vanish on me,” Captain replied dryly. 

“I wasn’t planning on it,” you protested. “I was going to give you my new number once I had it all worked out.” 

“So you did have a plan.” Captain stepped past you to get to his duffel bag, bending to get a change of clothes. You tried not to look. 

“Of course I had a plan. I’ve had a shit hits the fan plan since I got into this line of work.” You rolled your eyes. 

He huffed softly but didn’t offer anything else, just taking his clothes and going into the bathroom. You swallowed once the door was closed between the two of you. 

You’d always known he was attractive, since that very first meeting, but now it was becoming problematic. 

Alright, no. It was problematic. There was no “becoming” anymore. You had a soft spot for the man, you enjoyed the teasing, you couldn’t keep your gaze off him. 

And you had no idea what to do about it. 

Groaning very softly, you scrubbed a hand over your face. There was too much up in the air right now to be even considering doing anything about your attraction to him. 

Besides, it might not be a concern for long. There was still a chance that Gray would find you and kill you. 

That sobered you quickly, and you sat down on the couch to pull out your laptop. Time to check on a few things. 

Most of your accounts had been successfully closed already. Your bank accounts were in the process of transferring funds. 

And there was one new email in the single account you’d left running from work. Just one. You didn’t recognize the sender, but that wasn’t unusual in your line of work. People used burner emails all the time. 

So you opened the email. 

I know you’re still alive. Hide all you want. I will find you one day.

Your world fuzzed around the edges, everything going numb. 

“What happened?” Captain strode over to you quickly, searching your expression.

“Nothing.” You closed your laptop, heart pounding. 

“Ace–” he started, low and… concerned? His phone interrupted him, though, and he sighed once, short and sharp, before he answered it. You ignored him, focused on putting your laptop back away and trying to calm the pounding of your heart.

Gray had found you. Or at least, he’d found enough about you to find one of your emails. And possibly the identity associated with it. 

Which made you more glad than ever that you’d decided to close everything down. That would slow him down, at least. 

And nobody knew where you were. Nobody except Kate. 

Oh, Kate. Panic spiked again, sudden enough it nearly left you breathless. Sure, Kate was competent, and she was better protected, but she was also easier to find. 

And Gray would not stop if he decided he wanted revenge on her too. 

“We’re heading out.”

You jumped, the sudden words from Captain jerking you rudely from your own thoughts. His brow furrowed as he looked at you, concern clear in those blue eyes, but he didn’t ask this time. 

You were silent as you put your shoes on, briefly lamenting the fact that you didn’t have a spare set of clothes to change into. Well. You’d get something later, this was alright for now. 

“Where are we going?” You kept your bag over your shoulder, nodding once to Garrick as he joined the two of you in the hallway. 

“Laswell,” Captain answered, taking the lead. Garrick stayed behind you, limiting your potential chances to slip away. Not that you could really blame them, considering you had slipped away before. “Said she has some new intel.” 

You nodded slowly, mind whirring back into gear. 

If Gray was working with the Russians, or AQ, he could potentially have access to lots of resources. Hell, he was a smart guy with lots of underworld connections, he technically didn’t need either group to get into shit. 

But this did give him access to bigger shit. 

The safest bet would be to take him off the playing board entirely. Which was harder than it sounded. Someone would need to get to him first. And the law wouldn’t deal with him correctly, you had no faith after last time. 

The more permanent solution would be the better one, this time. 

“Alright, love?” 

You blinked at Captain as he held the back door for you, head dipped to catch your gaze. You nodded automatically, fingers tightening around the strap of your bag.

“Fine,” you muttered, breathing out slowly. “Just. Been a lot.” 

As expected, he nodded with sympathy. “We’ve got you,” he murmured. “You’re safe with us.” 

You managed a little smile, touching his hand briefly before you got into the car. 

Yes, you were safe with them, these men. 

And perhaps that was a problem. 

You were silent as Garrick drove again, the two of them exchanging the occasional remark, too quiet for you to make out. Which was fine. 

You were busy planning. Because you clearly needed more plans and back up plans. 

This time, they didn’t take you to a restaurant, but to an office building. You raised one eyebrow at Captain, but he simply nodded to the door. 

So you followed Garrick in. 

Kate was in a conference room on the top floor, a tablet in hand and a map on the table in front of her. You eyed it curiously, noting the few marks already - one in Mexico, a few in Russia, a few elsewhere. 

Hmm. If that’s what you all were facing, it was bigger than you’d thought. She must have been getting information from other sources, too. Which made sense. 

“These are the hotspots we know about,” Kate said, nodding to the map. “Between the Russians and AQ.” 

Price braced one hand on the table, leaning over the map. “What’s the play here?” 

“I’ve got more information coming in the next day or two,” Kate said, her gaze flicking briefly to you. “Once we know more, I’ll reach out to some old friends for help.” 

“Hit multiple places?” Garrick guessed, standing next to Kate. 

“Hit them all.” 

“Bold.” But Captain didn’t sound disapproving. Far from it. 

You looked down at the map, frowning a little. That was definitely more than you were aware of, which wasn’t entirely surprising. You’d been focusing more on Russia than anything. This is why Kate had multiple people on intel, not just you. 

“Ace.” Kate spoke softly, clearly trying not to spook you, and you shifted your focus to her. “Think you can still get in contact with some of your people?” 

You made a face, wiggling one hand. “Depends on who and for what,” you said honestly. “There are some I know I can get hold of. What do you want me to find out?” 

“I need to know more about the Mexican involvement.” She tapped the map gently over the red mark. “Who’s involved and how involved they are.” 

You didn’t react visibly, because you had long practice at holding a poker face. Internally, though, you groaned. Because that? That was Valeria. 

“I’ll see what I can do,” you said instead, shrugging. You’d never given Kate the names of any of your informants, and you had no reason to believe she knew you’d been involved with Valeria. 

Of course, this could also give you a chance to find out more about Gray, too. If Valeria was involved. You could trade for any information she had on him. 

That would be worth it. And if you did it right? Nobody in this room would be any the wiser.

[forestwanderingsapphic]

He hadn’t expected to get the alert that someone was in the batcave at 4 am but he wasn’t surprised. It was a thing him and Tim did where Bruce pretended not to know that he’d come back after he’d been sent home to keep working on cases. So when he took the elevator down he thought he was gonna see Tim at the bat-computer trying to find those gun runners they’d been struggling with but instead when the doors opened he saw Stephanie. He didn’t see her in civilian clothes very often and when he did they were always very loud but this time she was in grey sweats and a shirt much too big for her. She was repeatedly hitting one of the punching bags and it seemed she didn’t even hear him come in at all which is something they’d have to work on but based on how hard she was punching Bruce didn’t think this was the time for constructive criticism.

“Not that I don’t think training is important but don’t you have school in the morning?” He was a few feet behind her when he spoke up and she let out a loud “fuck” and jumped when she heard his voice. Stephanie turned around and Bruce felt wholly unprepared to deal with the 16 year old girl who had obviously been crying “you’re bleeding” he said when he noticed the blood dripping down her fists and smearing the still swinging bag. She looked down at herself having apparently only just noticed.

“Oh” was all she said.

“Come here” he guided her over to the med bay and gestured for her to sit on one of the beds. They were silent as he started disinfecting the cuts mainly because he didn’t really know how to ask her what was wrong.

“He’s home” Stephanie didn’t need to clarify who “he” was they both knew and all he could do was draw in a sharp breath “overcrowding he said which I obviously didn’t believe so after my mom and I fought I came to check but no one was here and I don’t know the password to the computer so I just started punching shit” he’d never heard her speak like this, not the swearing no she did that all the time, it was her tone and inflection. It was missing all the energy and sass he’d come to know and tolerate.

“I would say that isn’t a healthy coping mechanism but I’m quite sure you’d call me a hypocrite” That drew a small laugh from her.

“You think?” She asked sarcastically as he started to wrap bandages around her steadily swelling fists.

“Would you like to talk about what you and your mother fought over?” He asked after a few moments of silence.

“Everything, the fact that she let him back in the apartment, that she doesn’t stay sober when he’s around and that she’s picking him over me again” her voice cracked at the end and Bruce kept his eyes down not wanting to face the no doubtably tear filled eyes “I mean the last year and a half he’s been locked away has been the best of my life because I finally had the sweet, attentive, sober mom that I’d always dreamed of when he’d smack me around or lock me in that fucking closet” Stephanie had made allusions to the abuse she’d faced from her father but never had she been so open with it to him, he found himself looking up, not at Stephanie however but at the case 15 feet away from her that held the suit, his suit. Not for the first time he wondered if it took him longer to warm up to Stephanie because of how much she reminded Bruce of Jason.

“when I told her all of that of course he got mad at me for “disrespecting her” as if he doesn’t disrespect all the time, i said as much” of course she had ”and I thought maybe just maybe my mom would defend me for once but no she just watched as he fucking slapped me and told me to watch my tone” Bruce finally looked up at her and saw the beginnings of a bruise on her right cheek and he longed to drive to the Brown’s apartment in the narrows and show Arthur what happened when someone messed with one of his kids. He refrained but the urge was there, Bruce had finished wrapping her hands but didn’t let go of them just yet.

“There’s 12 bedrooms upstairs that aren’t being used if you need somewhere to stay while we figure out how he got out” He said letting go to grab some ice, she smiled but it wasn’t the toothy one he’d grown used to.

“Thank you B, I’d really appreciate that” she paused “y’know you’re a really good dad right?” The rhetorical question caught him off guard which wasn’t something many could do “I mean you’re how a father is meant to act, he’s supposed to clean up his kids scrapes not give them more” she brushed nonexistent dust off her pants and stood up “are you sure it’s okay if I stay I don’t want to impose” he almost laughed at that, Stephanie would eat his food and use weapons he designed but taking an open bed when she couldn’t go home was imposing? He was about to say as much when the elevator doors opened again to reveal Alfred already dressed for the day.

“Please come upstairs Miss Brown I’ll show you to one the guest rooms and you can tell me what you’d like for breakfast” she just nodded sleepily and started to walk away but before Bruce could follow she had run back and pulled him into a tight hug. For the second time that night Stephanie had caught Bruce off guard, she barely hit his chest he and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

“Thank you B” he didn’t know what to say, I’m sorry your father is a monster and your mother’s complacent? I’m sorry I’ve been distant when all you’ve obviously wanted is a father figure? Please be careful I can’t lose another one? None of those worked so he settled with pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head which based on the way she squeezed him tighter was the right thing to do. Eventually she let go and walked back to the elevator, Bruce was left alone in the cave and he did what he did best, got to work.

[wayfayrr]

🦆 anon is ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s been a minute, life been hectic for a while 😩 but I’m hoping that starting today, I’ll get a bit of free time to peruse my favorite blogs!!! So, how have you been? Busy? Have you been drinking enough water? Stay hydrated all you thirsty hoes out there!!! 😁

Anyway! Trying to catch up on stuff I’ve missed…

Agreed, sleep is for the weak. I shall sleep when I am dead. Not even the eepy meds work anymore.

*Gasp!* an anniversary? Of your first LU fic? Congrats!

A raffle? Noice! Can’t wait to see what the winners come up with.

Few sentences prompts??? Love it!!! Number 7 plz and make it hurt if possible. I like angst.

Recently saw a YT short that gave me a new idea… it’s a different kind of “self aware” ask. What if the boys in game aren’t self aware… but your drawings of them are? I’ll link the short, don’t worry. But this creator drew their characters and did an animation of them actually being alive and interacting with them and even the other drawings. Thought it was a cool idea to share with the self aware boys being actual drawings that were drawn by reader lol! Actually… that would make reader their actual creator… the ideas are turning in my head with this one~

https://youtube.com/shorts/OcGy7QwN3Lc?si=1HpoRtt_PS7Q5BAG

It's good to see you duck!!! it's been a bit and I hope you're doing well!!! Stuff's been getting better for me, Had an interview for a job just after getting this ask and I'm waiting to hear back now.

It's really funny too cause I track my sleep and just every morning when I check now the time asleep is just gradually getting less and less lol

And yeah! It's been a little over a year since I've started creating for linked universe now, and it's been an amazing time <33 met some truly wonderful people cause of it

7 (silent fury) seems to be the most popular prompt asfvdsvgsdfgv this is actually the 3rd ask I've gotten with it (but I'm gonna write another mini one anyway, wild rather than time for this one >:D)

He knew he was a failure. The first moments of his, truly his own memories and not another life half-remembered, was being told that he failed after all. That he died when the hero was supposed to prosper. That didn't make what he was going through any easier. And wallowing in his regrets wouldn't help you feel safe again. The chain all knew your boundaries, they all knew to ask you your opinions. To make sure that you were comfortable. But villagers didn't. And wild wasn't fast enough to be your hero. He was fine not being Hyrule's, as long as he could be yours that's all he could ever long for. But he failed you. Comforting you wasn't even an option with how you'd locked yourself away in your room, away from everything while you coped. Leaving the only way to take out his burning fury to find the person who dared to lay a hand on you. He couldn't fail you again.

[Prompt list]

I've been seeing that trend too!! Its one that I really like - and I've actually been sent a couple by dms lol it's a really interesting take on the au, and it's just fun in general really. Although I'll probably stay away from the creator == being treated as a deity cause it's kinda an ick for me (it's just a trope I don't like tbh, each to their own but I won't write/read it) but them thinking they have more of a right to be closer to you? the way it could cause arguments if they met the originals? oh there is so much potential for it as an idea honestly

[xxspringmelodyxx]

The Secrets That You Keep

(Gojo Satoru x Reader)

Hello my lovely readers! Long time no see! Last semester of college was actual hell and it will continue to be so for this semester…but anyways enough about me! I wanted to start writing for Jujutsu Kaisen because I am OBSESSED. So I decided to start with a story! Obviously I am an angsty gorl and so I will also be writing a bunch of it…and maybe smut…BUT with that being said, here’s a short little blurb for you before reading the actual thing!

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You have somehow found yourself helping the students at Jujutsu High. You have a special trait about you and that is you have very powerful energy coursing through your veins. How did you get it? Well, later on in the story you will find out that you didn’t get it naturally, no no no. Lets just say you had a pretty messed up life…though even though you had one, you still cope through it and stay strong. However, as you go through your little adventures with everyone, you start to find yourself falling for the one and only, Gojo Satoru. The only issue is will he realize his feelings for you soon enough? Or will he realize it when the clock has stopped ticking??

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Sorry for that shitty blurb. I have no idea how to summarize a story without spoiling it….but please enjoy if you do decide to read it and please let me know what you think! Like I have said before I am open to critique (Not rude, mean comments) but genuine critique as I always want to improve my writing for you all! Anyways, I’m gonna go sleep cause its 4 in the morning….so have fun!

Word count 4.5k

Warnings: a bit of violence?? Other than that none

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I ran like my life depended on it, my breathing increasing rapidly as I tried to escape the curse chasing after me. My view was blurred as I ran through the street, seeing only bits of light shining through the night. The large creature hurled towards me, screeching and clawing through the pavement. I looked around and tried to find different paths that I could take, seeing which one could get me out of the situation fast.

The night was cold and it was hard for me to keep warm while running. Clouds of air escaped out of my mouth as I continued to sprint away. There were a few paths that I could’ve taken, but it would’ve resulted in me having to fight the creature in the end. Something that I was trying to avoid.

Unfortunately for me, I took notice of a stone wall coming up quickly. Seeing as there was no other way out, I mentally cursed myself for not paying closer attention. It seems there were only two options left. Either I die here and now…or I fight back. Damn it! Why did it have to be now!

“Seems you need my help….” A voice spoke inside of my head. I quickly shook her off, trying to see if there was any other way out of this. I don’t need to deal with her right now. Desperately trying to find a way out, I saw a small opening right in the upcoming stone wall.

Bingo.

I pushed my foot further into the ground, forcing me to go all out. My body slowly began to glow a light blue hue as heat left my body. All I needed was to get through that small hole and I would be fine. If anything, it should block off the creature…at least I hope. Suddenly, a voice came back to my consciousness, talking with grace, yet also with demand.

“Do not resist me. There is no other way out and you know it. You would be foolish not to let me help.” The voice spoke once more. I smirked, rolling my eyes.

“Are you kidding me? After what happened last time I let you out, there is no way I am letting that happen again!” I yelled out loud, panting after each sentence.

“I did what I had to. You would’ve died if not for me.” She said, her voice becoming louder in my head.

My head started to throb, slowing me down a bit. She was trying to take over my body, I could feel it. Though, I shook her off once more, pulling her further back into my mind.

“No! I won’t let you help this time! I can find a way out without your help! You’ll end up ruining more than needed. I can’t afford to pay off any more damages due to you.” I said, gaining my full consciousness back. However, just as I was about to start my sprint again, I was pushed forward. I fell to my stomach, scrapping my arms and legs.

I whipped my head around, seeing the large, Smokey creature running after me. My eyes widened a bit as I watched its large body getting closer and closer to me. It looked like any horror movie, except this…this was real life.

I jumped up from the black pavement and quickly landed on my feet. I knew I wouldn’t get far if I didn’t fight back. I knew what I needed to do.

I stomped my foot on the ground, causing large chunks of rock to come out of the ground. I pushed my hands close together, allowing the rocks to circle around me rapidly. My senses were heightened as I listened to and felt my surroundings. The rocks were now circling around me with great speed that once released onto something, or someone for that matter, they would be impaled due to the force being applied.

I quickly used my left foot to kick one of the rocks towards the creature, hitting it right between its body. The rock, although small compared to the creature, did some damage to it. I used my other foot to kick another rock towards it, slicing right through its upper arm. Loud screeches were heard throughout the whole area, echoes that could be heard miles away.

I then began to kick each rock out of orbit and into the creature's body, trying to stop it from running towards me. I saved the largest rock for last, waiting for the right moment, waiting for it to gain enough momentum. Once I knew it was time, I calmed my breathing down and swiftly moved my fist towards the rock, hitting it with such force that a large dust cloud formed right behind the rock before moving towards the creature. I watched as the rock pierced right through the beast's head, splitting it into two.

The large, black beast groaned a bit, almost sounding like a low creaky door, as it slowly lost all feeling and control in its body. It began to slowly fall over, the smoke around it slowly dissipating into thin air. My eyes connected with the creature's eyes, not releasing the contact at all. I watched as its eyes closed, signifying its death and making me release my breath, a puff of air showing.

I placed my hands in my pockets and began to walk in the direction towards the creature. That was until I heard someone crying in the opposite direction. I turned my head towards the sound, trying to find the source. I saw a bush shuffle around, and although it was a bit windy, this bush was moving due to someone behind it. The cry sounded like it was coming from a child.

I calmly walked up to the shaking bush and carefully pushed some of the branches away, seeing a small child shaking. My eyes softened as I saw the poor boy shivering from the cold. I held out my hand to him, but he just moved back farther into the leaves.

“Leave him, he is a waste of our time.” The voice spoke up once again. I shushed her, forcing her away once more.

I then knelt down to the little boy, smiling softly at him.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to be afraid of me. I promise I won’t hurt you.” You said softly to him, trying not to scare the poor thing.

He didn’t say anything, however. He just continued to shake, tears forming in his eyes. He reminded you of your younger sister now that you think of it. You remember finding her in a situation such as this. She was terrified because she had just witnessed the first cursed creature in her life. Thankfully, you were there to save her, but just barely. She was in the same state as the boy, terrified and confused.

“I know you are confused…and probably horrified about what just happened. But I promise you from the bottom of my heart that I would never do anything to hurt you. I know it’s hard, but I need you to trust me alright?” I spoke to him.

I held out my hand, hoping that he would come out so I could help him.

“I-I want my mommy” He whimpered, making my heart ache.

“I can help you find her. What does she look like?” I asked.

“S-She has long brown hair and green eyes. She also has a scar on her eye from when our cat scratched her.” He said, slowly coming out of his shell.

“Okay, I can work with that. Do you want to come with me and we can go find her together? If not, you are more than welcome to stay here until I find her.” I said

He shook his head and held his hands out as he grabbed onto my finger. His hands were ice cold.

“You’re freezing! Here, take my jacket, that should warm you up while we try to find your mom.” I said, wrapping my jacket around him, picking him up. He was obviously too tired to do much, after all, he did sit out in the cold for who knows how long. He cozied up into me, trying to find warmth again.

I began to walk, figuring out where to start first. We were basically in the middle of nowhere and so I didn’t have a lot to start out with. However, just as I made the decision to head north, I was quickly interrupted by a male voice.

“Hey there.” he said, appearing out of nowhere. I shrieked a bit, tripping over my own feet and almost falling. The man grabbed my arm, pulling me back to my feet before I actually made impact with the ground. As he did that, I got a good look at him and noticed his white hair that was pushed back due to the blindfold wrapped around his head. Odd

He was very tall as well and had very fair skin.

“Thank you.” Was all I could muster to say.

He didn’t say anything back however, he just stared at me with…intrigue? Confusion? Happiness? I couldn’t tell. Man, grandma wasn’t kidding when she told me I needed to improve my understanding of people’s body language.

He looked behind me and saw the dead creature on the ground, slowly evaporating into the sky. He then looked back at me through his blindfold and smirked.

“How’d you do it?” He asked out of nowhere.

“Do what?” I asked, confused

“How’d you kill the creature, dumbass.” the voice inside my head said, making me wince a bit.

“Ms. Lady….are we closer to…finding my…mama?” The boy asked, growing tired with every passing second. He looked up to see the strange man standing above us.

“Ms. Lady, this is not my mama. My mama was pretty…he looks scary.” The boy said, gaining the white haired males attention.

“I’m not that scary, am I? Come on, look at me!” He said playfully, but the boy just cuddled in closer to you, ignoring the man.

“Listen, I’m sorry, but I need to go. I need to help this kid find his parent. Now, if you will excuse me-“

Before you could finish your sentence, you three felt a powerful vibration run throughout the area. The man grabbed onto you two and held you to protect you from any danger, but after a good 20 seconds of the strong sensation, it stopped. You two looked up at each other before turning your heads towards the creature.

The shadows that were slowly going away began to quickly run back into the creature, breathing life back into it. The beast slowly got up, growling as it regained its consciousness. It took one deep breath and screeched as loud as it could towards us.

The male swiftly moved away, taking me and the child out of harms way.

“You two stay here. Ill handle this.” He said

“Are you sure?” I asked, making him stop in his tracks. He turned around towards me with a genuine smile.

“Yeah, I got this. After all, you are talking to the best of the be-“ But before he could finish his statement, a large blast of dark energy shot right towards him, forcing a gasp through my mouth.

I quickly ran and hid the child. He was a crying and shuddering mess, but I tried to calm him down. I knelt down to him once more and placed my hand on his head.

“Look at me. Everything will be okay. Alright? I won’t let it come anywhere near you. I promise I won’t let it hurt you. But I need you to be quiet and calm, okay? Can you do that for me?” I asked sternly. The boy looked up at me with tearful eyes, but quietly nodded, holding onto my jacket for dear life.

I smiled down at him, standing back up to my feet.

“good boy. Ill be back. Just give me a little time, alright?” I asked, running back towards the creature.

It’s back was facing me, so naturally, I took the opportunity to strike. I slammed my foot into the ground once more, causing a large crack to pass through the ground. It made its way towards the creature and surrounded it. I interlocked my fingers together and forced them downwards, causing the ground the creature was standing on to sink many feet into the ground. I then pulled my hands away and crossed my arms together, forcing the sides of the hole to collide together. The ground smushed the beast into a gooey texture, but it still wasn’t enough. It seeped through the ground and back up to the surface. It ran towards me and before I could react, it struck me in the side, pushing me towards a stone wall. Before my body could slam into it, however, a pair of arms wrapped around me and protected me from hitting the wall.

I opened my eyes to be met with….The strange man again.

“What the hell? But you-I saw-how did-“

He smirked down at me, amused by my confusion on how the hell did he survive that blast.

“Like I said, you’ve got the best of the best on your side.” He said, placing you down, looking towards the creature.

“Sit tight, and watch the master play his cards.” He spoke before dashing towards the beast.

“I don’t like him.” the voice called out to you, making your head pound again.

“Shut up, you don’t even know him yet.” I argued, groaning as I could feel myself slowly lose my control.

“No! Do not take over right now! You have no right!” I yelled, gripping my hair. My body was tired from the activity I had, making it more difficult to force her back into my head.

“Why don’t we show this guy who truly is the best~” The voice said. My eyes started to glow bright white. Golden cracks began to form on my skin, light seeping through them.

“No! I will not tolerate this! You can’t just use my body whenever you want to prove a point!” I said, slowly falling asleep.

“Uhm…actually, I can.” She said, forcing me to fall asleep so that she can take over.

“And I will…” She said with yours and her voice mixed together. She looked down at your body, seeing the bruises and scratches from previous fights.

She looked up and saw the mysterious white haired male going at it. He was smirking through the whole thing.

“Has he no humility? Does he truly think he is that great? Well…then I suppose I should show him just how good he is, compared to me.” She said, quickly getting up and storming towards the shadowy creature. She moved at light speed towards it, a golden trail following behind her.

The mysterious male saw this and was confused at first…but then became intrigued very quickly.

He watched as your figure formed a pure white sword with golden lining around it. He saw you jump high in the air and slash it through all the “sensitive” areas of the beast. He had to admit, you were…impressive to say the least. Not as good as him of course, but maybe better than Nanami. He continued to watch you and see how effortlessly you fought. The way you used your sword as if it was your own arm, the way you ran faster than light, the way you were so determined to finish the creature once and for all…all of it caught the white haired man's attention. He watched as you ran right through the creature, shredding it to bits. Your body stopped in the ground, causing the ground to shake a bit. The creature began to form once again, making “you” smirk.

“A low life beast thinks it can take on me? Hmmmm, how very interesting.” Your voice said. You then did something that even caught the mysterious man off guard, but just for a split second of course. You dropped your sword, letting it disintegrate into tiny particles which soon surrounded you. You followed that up with placing your hands towards the center of your chest, lining your palms together, one hand facing up, the other facing down. This allowed the particles to circle around your chest area, spinning with such speed that it was beginning to look like one big circle. You then slid the upside down hand up, aligning your fingers perfectly together. Your hair started to float in the air as if gravity was non-existent. Your body began to float as well, and the cracks in your body started to emit a brighter light than there was before

The creature didn’t wait, however. It began to run towards you, dead-set on killing you. It snarled loudly, rampaging towards you with great speed.

You, however, just watched it run towards you with a sinister smile.

“run, run beast. For I will be the last thing you see before my power swallows you whole.” You said, the wind picking up around the entire area. It was so strong that the trees began to push away from you, practically bending a full 180 degrees, breaking and cracking off of their stumps. Dust devils began to form as well. You used these and pushed them towards the beast, pushing it away and twisting it around.

Finally, you swung your arms around, allowing the particles to push you further up in the sky to get a better view.

You looked down at the beast and smirked one last time before crossing your arms together. The particles began to grow larger and larger as they combined with one another.

“Good riddance, you foul beast!” You yelled, releasing all the energy you had and forcing it down towards the creature. It screeched as the light penetrated through its body, not missing one spot of darkness. Wails from the beast were all that was heard. Hundreds of miles away, you could still hear it. The light blast from your body was so bright that it looked like it was day time at 1 in the morning.

After the light diminished, the night came back once more, just as it should have.

She smiled down at the large pot hole in the ground that she created. Suddenly, she started to lose control as you began to awaken.

“Awe come on, Y/n! I barely got to play!” She said.

“You’ve done enough!” You said, fighting over your body. She rolled her eyes, smirking with a scoff.

“Fine, just don’t be mad at me when you wake up in the air.” She said, going back to sleep. Soon, your body turned back to normal, but there were cuts and bruises from when your other side took over.

The mysterious man watched as your body fell limp. You began to fall down towards the ground. A part of him wanted to see if you would save yourself…but he didn’t want to risk the paperwork…so he jumped off the hill he was watching you on and lunged towards you. He grabbed your body once more and the both of you landed safely on the ground.

When the man got a good look at you, he realized you were asleep.

-Time skip-

You woke up with a pounding headache and sore body. You looked around and saw that you were in the same place you blacked out in.

“Good morning sleepy head.” A familiar voice spoke out to you. You quickly got up and saw the strange man sitting on a bench, watching you.

“Have you just been sitting there waiting for me to get up?” I questioned, making him nod his head, keeping his smile.

“I couldn’t just leave you here alone now could I? What kind of sorcerer would I be then?” He said.

Suddenly, I remembered about the little boy, trying to look for him.

“Relax. The boy is back with his mother. I took him to her when you were passed out. Did you know you snore a little when you sleep by the way? It’s kind of adorable. You looked like a little kitten when you slept.” He teased, making you stare at him with confusion.

“Allow me to introduce myself.” He said, walking towards you, offering you a hand to help you up. You took it and stood to your feet, waiting for him.

“I am Gojo Satoru. Some know me as the strongest or the best sorcerer.” He said, smiling down at you.

“L/n Y/n.” You said softly.

“Well L/n…you certainly were something last night. It was truly amazing to watch you destroy that cursed creature.” He said.

“T-thank you.” Was all you could muster up to say.

“Listen Y/n…What I saw last night was, well, amazing. You could truly be beneficial to our group.” He asked

“Group? What are you implying?” I asked, making him smirk.

“Why don’t I just show you?” He said, turning on his heel and walking away from you. You took that as a sign to start following him, quickly catching up to his distance.

-some time later-

Satoru and you ended up in a beautiful area. There was so much greenery, which boosted your mood compared to before. All together, it looked like Satoru was taking you to a place that was sacred. A place that you had never seen before. He stopped abruptly, almost making you bump into him. He turned around and placed his arm out to show you where you were.

“This is Tokyo Jujutsu High. A place where people come in to learn and train their abilities. And considering your stance in training, I think you could be a wonderful asset to our kids.” He said, watching you stare at the place in awe.

However, when he said the name, you quickly snapped out of it and asked him to repeat the name. It sounded so familiar….yet you couldn’t come up with a reason as to why….though before you could figure out why you remembered the name, you were interrupted by a group of people coming towards you.

Satoru glanced behind you, making a puzzled sound.

“Ah, good! You are all here! Kids….Id like you to meet a new teacher!” He said, pointing to you, making your body stiffen.

“What? I didn’t agree to that!” You spoke to him, making him smirk.

“Oh trust me! It will be fun! You will love it…plus, you get to fight quite often! And based off of how you preformed last night, I’d say that is to your liking.” He said, making the voice cheer in your head.

“Y/n?” That familiar voice called out to you, making you turn around. And that’s when it hit you. That’s why this name was so familiar.

“Nobara!” You said happily as you two ran to each other and hugged.

It was Satoru’s turn to be confused.

“You two know each other?” he asked, making Nobara smile.

“We are sisters!” She said, making the group around you surprised.

You two looked nothing like each other…not to mention you two didn’t have the same last name.

“Adopted sisters.” You said, taking notice of their confusion.

“Oh it is so good to see you again- what happened to your body! Why is it all banged up! Was this “her” doing?” She asked, making you smile awkwardly

“Maybe. She just got too caught up in the heat of the moment.” You said.

Satoru stared at you with confusion, unsure of what you’re saying.

You turned around and gave him an apologetic smile, knowing fully well what was on his mind.

“There’s a lot I have to explain….especially now that you’re forcing me to become a teacher here….” You said, slightly glaring at the blindfolded man in front of you. Suddenly, the man lost the confused face and replaced it with one of amusement.

“Oh but it will be so fun! And you and I can finally hang out and travel all over Tokyo!” Nobara said, making you smile.

“I guess it won’t be too bad…though don’t expect much…I literally have no experience in training so this is going to be a trial and error situation.” You responded.

You all went through introductions afterwards and decided to go out to eat. The boy who had salmon/pink hair named Yuuji Itadori said he wanted to eat at the place that has sushi on a rotating belt where you can just grab whatever sushi you want off the conveyor belt. But your sister argued with him that it is unsanitary and that they should all go to a fancy sushi restaurant. You were honestly on Itadori’s side. It sounded so fun to do that…but at the same time….Nobara is your sister. And when she wants something…most of the time she may get it. They kept arguing about it and it was getting on your nerves…but you tried to suppress it. The voice, however, was ready to rip their heads off.

“Can I please smack them?” She asked in your head.

“No! Now go back to sleep!”

“But I can tell you are annoyed with them as well. One hit is all it takes!”

“Absolutely not! Now go away!” You said in your head, glaring at the sky.

Satoru caught this and teased you a bit.

“What, mad that you can’t see your forehead?” He said, making you stare up at him with confusion.

“Oh…you were talking about me staring up at the sky…” You said, not sure what else to say.

He snickered, “Yes, that is exactly what I was talking about.” He said

“Oh brother, who does this guy think he is? Teasing you! Does he think he is funny?” The voice said

“Would you shut up!” You said, out loud this time.

Everyone looked at you, making you mentally slap yourself in the face.

“Sorry…I-“

“No worries, N/n! Itadori was annoying huh?” Your sister teased, irritating the salmon haired boy.

“Me! You were the one going on and on about how unsanitary everything is!” He complained. You finally had enough and decided to interrupt them both.

“How about we go to this nice restaurant I’ve heard about. They do the conveyor belts, but they can also directly serve the sushi to you if you don’t want to eat it off of that. Plus I hear they have some of the best desserts and snacks there.” You suggested

Everyone agreed and soon you all headed off to that restaurant, though you had to separate Itadori and Nobara because they were after each other's heads.

You sighed, but smiled a bit at these two. This was going to be a long school year.

-??? POV-

“You are sure it is her?” A gruff male voice said.

“yes, sir. She is with a group of people as we speak. Do you want me to go in and finish business?” The younger male said.

“No…not yet. I need to come up with a plan to get her back. She is very powerful when aggravated…you would die if you did so. It's best to just come back. We will begin our plan. And soon…everything will be back to normal…just how you wanted it.” The gruff voice said

“Understood. I will be ready whenever you are ready. I only hope that we can do this soon. I don’t want to fail you, sir.” the younger voice said.

“You won’t so long as you keep doing what I tell you to. Now come back. We have work to do.” The gruff voice said, hanging up.

The younger boy looked at you with the others, conversing with one another. His jaw tensed up and his fists clenched together as he saw you.

“Soon, everything will be back to the way it was.” He said shortly before leaving into the shadows.

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