#you don’t have to be out to be valid

[treluna4]

Happy pride month!

Here’s a fic I wrote 2 years ago in which Marcy Brewer is bi.

When I was younger

[pikp0kcas3]

The Hazbin Hotel fandom’s issue with accepting aromanticism and asexuality

Now that it is officially Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, I want to talk about this!

I find that, as an aroace myself, I am constantly grasping at good representation and coming up empty— it usually ends up in one of two ways.

One: the character is portrayed as emotionless, cold, and robotic in nature. It’s the question aromantic and/or asexual people are often asked: “Are you heartless?” The answer is no, of course, but general media makes it out to be the opposite.

Or two: Their lack of attraction is seen as something to “fix” because they “haven’t found the right one yet”, and they end up with a partner as a “happy ending”.

It frustrates me greatly because of how little people actually see aromanticism or asexuality as a true part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

So when I watched Hazbin Hotel, and I found out about Alastor being aroace, I was over the moon. I was on cloud nine. I also saw how his voice actor has looked up the term as an attempt to learn about aroaces, which makes me OVERJOYED?? Amir is truly a blessing, and I love that he’s proud to embody a character that’s part of our community. It’s so beautiful to finally have a proper character, a fan favorite at that, who just so happens to be aroace— and that’s another thing I love about this.

It’s never explicitly stated in the show (though it is stated in interviews), but it’s rather clear when you’re watching, isn’t it? Alastor’s aversion to any sort of sexual advancement, coupled with Rosie’s blatant “I know you’re an ace in the hole” comment sort of spell out his asexuality pretty clearly, as well as what side of the spectrum he falls upon. In addition, his Valentine’s day card was strictly platonic, which caters to his aromantic side. It feels so validating to finally be represented, to finally have a character in media who shares the same lack of interest in romance and sex as I do.

When I entered the fandom to look for more content, I kind of expected to see the same respect for Alastor’s orientation there too. But that… wasn’t the case? I am fully aware that aromanticism and asexuality are both spectrums— of course, aromantic and/or asexual people can enter those kinds of relationships. I’m not denying that and they belong in the community as much as anyone else on the spectrum.

But, the more I see the same line again and again and again, the more it feels like an excuse to just ship what you want.

Usually I don’t mind shipping? I’m often a firm believer in people shipping what they like as long as it’s harmless and they don’t go crazy over it. I also know for a fact that Viv doesn’t have a problem with people shipping her characters. They are fictional, after all.

But in this case, people are ignoring the very thing that makes Alastor a part of the aroace community! People are ignoring his lack of romantic or sexual attraction!

Is this not the same as changing a gay character’s orientation to suit a straight ship? If not, how so? I’m told that we are a part of this community, so why aren’t we being treated like it? Why is it so hard to accept the people on the end of the spectrum who aren’t interested?

Something I’ve been noticing throughout my life is that society has not exactly progressed very much on the idea of accepting asexual or aromantic identities. Maybe we have, a little, since the old days— but hell, people in “the old days”, which in truth wasn’t very long ago, believed that asexuality was a medical condition to be “fixed” by taking the right medication or having sex. That’s a pretty low bar to clear. And on the romance side, you’re seen as a “late bloomer” or “boring” if you don’t express interest. These days, being friends with someone is treated like a gateway to them possibly becoming a lover. Not getting married, not going on dates, not wanting a partner— it’s all treated like a crime when it’s not.

Maybe I’m selfish, or sensitive, or I’m butthurt over nothing, or I’m making it all about me. Maybe I’m gatekeeping or whatever the term is. But please, please, please, I just want an aroace character like me who simply is not interested in sex or romance.

And I want fandom to respect that. I admire the creations that fans make— the art, the animatics, the writing and the character analysis. And I want people to keep creating because creation is indeed a beautiful thing.

But I really would like people to treat aroace identities like they’re important. Like it’s more than just a spectrum to get wiggle room to wrangle in another ship.

[traumasurvivors]

Here’s a reminder that even if your parents had their own trauma, it doesn’t mean it was okay for them to treat you the way they did.

It’s valid if you’ve forgiven them or whatever else, just please don’t invalidate your own feelings because they were also hurting.

[kittykatninja321]

Not to rehash this discourse so close to his birthday but genuinely what other mysterious unnamed trauma of Jason’s is Bruce referring to in bftc if not csa? We know that:

It’s something that happened to him

It’s something that happened to him pre-Bruce, so it presumably could’ve happened while he was an extremely vulnerable unsupervised homeless child

It’s something associated with secrecy and shame: Jason only told Bruce about it and freaks out about Dick playing his hologram talking about it

It’s something that affected him profoundly, Bruce says it left him “broken” (ugh side note: hate this language) and he seems to get retriggered by it being brought up again

What other trauma is coded like this besides sexual assault? Like genuinely I have yet to hear an answer that fits as well or better

[the--last-great-american-dynasty]

i think we need to remember that sexuality and labels mean something different to everyone. what lesbian means for me is different for others. i identify as a lesbian but finn wolfhard is fucking gorgeous and i giggle a bit watching kit connor, and jake johnson being all grumpy as nick miller does something to me. but i also can confidently say that i will never date a man. i absolutely don’t want to. like some men are fucking gorgeous and i can totally appreciate that and still have no interest in dating men and identify as a lesbian. and like, that’s ok. but also for some people maybe they feel like that but identity as bisexual. and that’s totally fine because it’s their fucking decision how they choose to identify. and it’s the same for gender identity. just because someone presents femme or masc doesn’t mean they follow that binary. a trans masc can present feminine. a non-binary person can present however the fuck they want and they’re still fucking non binary. the whole point of the queer community is acceptance and defying labels and being just who we want to be. if you’re trying to push labels as a queer person on another queer person it’s so hypocritical. let people live their lives, whether they choose to label themselves or not and whether their labels make sense or are the same way you think of labels. it’s not about you. it’s about them. let people live.

[stargirlfeyre]

So whose going to tell these people that Elain was friends with the shadow twins before Nesta was friends with Gwyn and Emerie? How are Elain fans copying y’all by talking about her trio when canonically her trio existed before Nesta’s😭?

Seriously though the possessiveness Nesta fans feel over normal things is so…? They’re some of the most envious people in this fandom because how are you gatekeeping friendships? It’s canon that they’re friends. It’s canon that they spend more time with her than her own sisters. It’s canon that they’re friends with her not because they’re getting paid for it but because they like spending time with her (they literally rejected when Feyre tried to give them a raise for helping Elain). Elain’s life does not revolve around Nesta and she does have outside relationships that matter to her. Y’all need to just cope with that.

Like having friends is copying someone now? Please go outside platonic relationships are normal.

And secondly how are you gate keeping a court that already belongs to Rhys😭? “Elain fans try to steal Dusk from Nesta” now how can they steal something from Nesta that doesn’t belong to her in the first place? The Dusk Court/Prison does not belong to Elain or Nesta and it’s already said that even if it’s an 8th court, it still falls under Rhys’ jurisdiction. His blood is the only thing that can open the gates. You’re gatekeeping territory that already has Rhys’ name slapped on it. But you want to talk about fans copying and stealing from other characters?

And it’s funny how people only have an issue with saying another character is going to get Gwydion when it’s Elain. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think she’s going to get it because I’m personally not an “Elain becoming a warrior and wielding a powerful sword” girlie but why is it this big discourse only when it comes to her? Mind you, y’all aren’t even arguing over how her becoming a warrior and getting Gwydion wouldn’t fit her character (which would be valid)…y’all are arguing over her “taking” something from Nesta. Which makes no sense because almost every character is foreshadowed (by this fandom) to wield Gwydion and y’all don’t have as much of an issue with that.

Like I’ve even seen some theories about Nyx, a baby, getting it (because if the High Ruler plot does happen he would be a future High King) and it wasn’t a big deal. It’s like people understand that Nesta did not claim that sword the way she did with Ataraxia until Elain is brought into the conversation. We can make fanart and create theories of every character under the sun with that sword but you better not even think about Elain getting it.

From gatekeeping Motherly relationships, friendships, a court that doesn’t even belong to Nesta, and a sword I think it’s safe to say Nesta fans have officially lost it.

[fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma]

my best friends sister recently came out as trans and it’s really showing the subtle transphobia and bias around me

it’s never “she came out” or “she’s trans” it’s

“/deadname/ wants to be a girl”

“/deadname/ feels that he is trans”

idk man it’s just really off putting because to me it’s literally just an identity, it’s expression, it’s comfortability, and like, ok yes it’s a change if you’ve known this person as one name your whole life, but it’s just like a surname? if they choose to take the spouses last name that’s what you call them, not that different. pronouns, to be honest, are not difficult to adjust to. sorry, but if you’re ’uncomfortable’ calling someone by their preferred pronouns imagine how they feel. finally comfortable enough to tell people, and now you’re saying “sorry, I’m just having trouble adjusting to calling you by she/her.”

???????? it’s incredibly weird to me. anyway, thought I’d share bc trans people are so so important and even if we’re ‘progressing’ it’s subtle language that can actually hurt the most.

anyway anyway, so happy for her, and I’m glad she felt comfortable enough to come out, because especially where I live that’s not easy <3

[sad-endings-suck]

and if I said that lots of mizu/akemi shippers are actually mizu/fem self-insert and mizu/fem oc shippers then what?

[left-handed-spaghetti]

Watched Swing kids last night

That’s all I wanted to say.

[leopardom]

it’s definitely not the right time to do this but it’s bugging me so much i need to ask

would anyone still be interested in reading more analyses/interpretations about Damon’s photoshoots with Nace/Jan and Jure after many days or maybe i shouldn’t even bother to write them?

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

You know. I’ve been debating this for weeks now but I’m kind of upset with your decision to have a baby. You were one of my favorite Mewtwo artist but now it feels like you’re just throwing your fans to the side like we’re trash. Don’t we matter to you at all? We’re the reason you can even make anything on Patreon but now you’re going to leave us with an unfinished story? Way to make us fee appreciated and loved…

Anon do you like

Need a hug??? /gen

[elevenenthusiast]

I HATE how much people do to defend noah on here and on twitter like why are you all forgetting he’s a zionist?

[starcrossedandstupid]

They would rather die and long for the other even in death than send each other a discord dm

[a-concert-just-for-me]

QB ADHD test is crazy for autists bc tell me why you’re gonna strap this super uncomfortable headband to my head and also have the lights bright in the room bright af and then have the laptop flash images at me too

Like????????

[deputyrook]

the fact that I just blocked like 30 people and my follower count didn’t go down. you’re all so blessed

and just to note in case this is read as me being negative- I really like veilguard! I like more things about it than I dislike! I mean, it got me hyperfixating on dragon age again, look at my blog.

I would also mass-block a bunch of people saying “Anyone who likes Veilguard is deluded and wrong.” It’s the blanket statement, black/white thinking that bothers me. Why does loving something mean it’s beyond reproach or criticism? Suggesting that ANY possible issues with the writing are illegitimate, and that all critics are stupid/wrong is not only insulting, it’s frankly a little worrying when I see how many people agreed

[historyartthings]

it's interesting to compare Margaret Douglas and Thomas Howard's scenes in the last episode.

To the former, Cromwell is firm that none of her witnesses to the pre-contract are admissible. But then in the interrogation of the latter, Wriothseley says, 'the Lady Margaret tells us there are witnesses to this pledge', as if, in fact, they are. obviously both can't be true at once.

and you can see how they're attempting to spare one but lead the other into outright words of treason