#genuinely go appreciate life outside the internet

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

You know. I’ve been debating this for weeks now but I’m kind of upset with your decision to have a baby. You were one of my favorite Mewtwo artist but now it feels like you’re just throwing your fans to the side like we’re trash. Don’t we matter to you at all? We’re the reason you can even make anything on Patreon but now you’re going to leave us with an unfinished story? Way to make us fee appreciated and loved…

Anon do you like

Need a hug??? /gen

[queen-of-deans-booty]

FFF

Pairing: Castiel x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.7k (lyrics included)

Warnings: fluff

Summary: Sam and Dean introduce you to their angelic friend, Castiel, and you are immediately enthralled by him. Instead of jumping into something with him, you two take it slow and let the relationship flourish naturally.

Square Filled: FFF by Zara Larsson (2023) for @heavenandhellbingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Hunting is something you try to stay out of. It’s not that you don’t think you have the chops to be a hunter, you just don’t want to be one. You’ve never seen the appeal of being one but you admire Sam and Dean for being one. You met them while they were on a hunt. A ghost murdered your coworker and they interviewed you. They seemed like genuine FBI agents until you saw them leave your coworker’s house covered in blood.

You kept in touch with them over the years and now you’re good friends with them.

They invited you to the Bunker to hang out so that’s where you’re heading. You’re in town for something unrelated so it’s nice to see the brothers. You don’t visit the Bunker often so you jump at the chance to when they want you to come. 

Despite their lifestyle, the Bunker is one of the coolest things you’ve ever seen.

When you get there, you knock on the metal door twice. Sam opens it and smiles widely when he sees you.

“Y/N! Welcome!” He pulls you in for a soul-crushing hug. “We just got started.”

“Cool. Thanks for inviting me.”

“Oh, yeah. Hey, we invited one of our other friends. His name is Cas. He’s an angel.”

“A what?” you ask, flabbergasted. 

As much as you try to stay out of their business, you can’t help but read about the different types of monsters they deal with. Still, you’d never thought angels were real. Maybe in fiction but never in real life.

“An angel,” Sam chuckles.

“Okay.”

You walk down the metal stairs and greet Dean who has a beer in hand.

“It’s good to see you, Y/N.”

“You, too. So, where is this elusive angel that I never knew existed?”

“Right here.” Dean steps off to the side and you look at the angel in a trenchcoat. “My name is Castiel but you may use the shortened version of my name that the brothers are so fond of using.”

“Right. For an angel of God, you’re… normal.”

“My true form is approximately the size of your Chrysler building.”

“Good to know,” you nod.

Not only are you starstruck by the angel, you think he’s adorable. If he’s going to be here, you’re definitely going to make an effort to visit more often.

Unusual, we got mutual friends Is it mutual if I kiss your lips? If I'm truthful, then it all depends on your feelings Crucial, how I'm leanin' in 'Cause I'm used to just divin' in I could lose you, that's the consequence of my feelings

Sam and Dean are currently on a hunt hallways across the country where there isn’t great internet service. They don’t know what they’re hunting so they asked you if you could do some research from the Bunker. You’re no hunter but you don’t mind helping them like this. You’re out of danger and safe inside the most secure place in the world against monsters.

Plus, Castiel is here, too. That’s always a plus.

It’s been a few months since you two met and you’ve been coming over every chance you get just to be with him.

Just so you’re not sitting in silence, you hooked up your Bluetooth speaker to your phone so that you can listen to music while you read through the many lore books. You and Castiel are sitting right next to each other; he’s so close that you can feel the heat radiating off him. It’s nearing winter so it’s getting colder outside, but Castiel is a radiator.

“Did you find anything?” you ask him.

“Not yet. Did you?”

“Nope.”

You flip through the book, half-paying attention to the word and half-paying attention to how close Castiel is. The song changes to a romantic tune, and you look up at Castiel who is already staring at you. You briefly look at his chapped lips that also somehow look soft, and you find yourself leaning in.

No! You stop yourself from potentially making a mistake. You’re known to jump into relationships and stay in the fast lane. It’s why you’ve never had a steady relationship with any of your exes. Castiel deserves better. He deserves more. You really like him and you can’t afford to lose him so you can’t be yourself.

You need to change and it starts with him.

Is there a spark for us Or is it just purely platonic? Is this a story arc? 'Cause if it are, it'd be iconic I wasn't gonna ask Afraid of asking you to dance

The best thing about winter is the frozen lakes. You love ice skating but you’re not very good at it. Growing up, you lived in a warmer climate that didn’t get cold enough for any water to freeze, so you took to the activity later in life.

You and Castiel have been hanging out more and more without Sam and Dean around. He might be an angel that will outlive you, but you’re falling for him every day that you’re with him. There’s something so pure about him. He hasn’t been tainted by humanity long enough to see the bad in life. He still believes that people do good simply because it’s right. It’s honestly refreshing to be around someone who still thinks that way.

“Have you ever ice skated?” you ask as you pull your skates on.

“No. I’m sure I can pick it up.”

“Yeah, just wait until you get on the ice.” You step onto the frozen lake and almost fall from being unbalanced. Castiel jumps up and grabs your waist to steady you, and you try to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks. “Thanks.”

“Please be careful.”

Castiel steps onto the ice and skates as if he’s a professional. You watch him with a parted mouth.

“How in the hell are you doing that?”

“It’s simply a balancing act.”

“Right.”

You skate but find that your feet move apart when you do. You struggle to stay upright, and Castiel stays near you to catch you if you fall. Most people wouldn’t find this enjoyable but you’re with Castiel so it makes it better. Plus, if you fall, you know he’ll catch you.

“Here, grab my hand.”

You bite back a smile and grab his warm hand. He skates next to you effortlessly, and you cling to his side to keep some sort of balance.

“Do you normally excel at things you’ve never done before?”

“Generally, yes.”

You laugh and continue to skate with him in the freezing cold. You try to turn but end up tripping over your own feet and crashing into Castiel. He is taken off guard so he falls to the ice with you on top of him. Suddenly, you start laughing either out of embarrassment or at the thought of why you decided to do this with him when you know you’re shit at it.

“I’m sorry, did I hurt you?”

“No.”

You put your hand on his chest to hold yourself up, and you suddenly realize how close you two are. Your breath mixes with his in the cold, but neither of you moves from each other. You’re so close that you can close the few-inch gap and kiss him.

“Your nose and cheeks are red,” he says.

“It’s cold outside. Aren’t you cold?”

“I’m an angel. I don’t feel the cold.”

“Lucky you, then.”

Castiel moves you off him with ease and helps you stand. He brings you back to the snow where you can stand comfortably and removes his trenchcoat. Without saying anything, he wraps the coat around you, enveloping you in his warmth.

The blush on your cheeks isn’t from the cold anymore.

Falling for a friend Falling for a friend, ooh Baby, don't pretend That you don't feel it too I know you do

Castiel is truly someone special because you’re walking from your hotel in the freezing ass cold and the snow to get to the Bunker. You have a rental car but there is no use in driving it because the roads aren’t safe for cars. Still, that’s not going to stop you from getting to the bunker where Castiel is.

The picnic basket in your hand is sealed tightly to keep the snow from entering it but everything else on you is covered with snow. Kansas winters are brutal. Three miles normally doesn’t seem like a lot but trekking in twelve inches of snow makes three miles feel like thirty.

When you get to the Bunker, you shake off the snow as best as possible before knocking on the metal door. Pain erupts from your knuckles from how cold you are but your hand is numb so you don’t feel it as much as you should have.

“What the hell are you doing out here?” Dean asks when he opens the door.

“I wanted to say hi. Can I come in?”

“Shit, yeah.” He steps to the side and allows you to walk inside. You’re thrust into a warm environment that you’re already starting to defrost. You walk into the library to see Castiel sitting at the table. “What’s in the basket?”

“Just some food. I figure you two are hungry.”

“I don’t eat.”

“I always am,” Dean says at the same time as Castiel.

“Okay, well, here.”

Dean takes the basket with a smile and disappears into the kitchen. Castiel frowns when he sees you shivering from the after-effects of the cold. He can even feel how cold you are from where you stand.

“Come here.” You walk over to Castiel, not expecting him to pull you into his lap. He lifts your hands to his mouth and blows hot air on them, the warmth of it kissing away the numbing from the frostbite. “Baby, you’re freezing.”

Baby? His raspy voice? That’s enough to spring butterflies to life in your stomach. He’s never called you that before. The butterflies intensify when he opens his trenchcoat, wrapping you close to his chest. He leans down and kisses your cold cheek, and warmth blooms from the contact.

You look up at him and he softly traces your bottom lip with his finger, and you part your lips instinctively.

“I really want to kiss you,” he whispers.

You don’t say anything back, You close the gap between you and kiss him softly. His lips may look chapped but they are super soft. His grace dances across your body, warming you up.

You’ve definitely fallen for a friend.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[utilitycaster]

actually taking the last bit out of the tags of that post because here is the thing. and I'm going to use specific examples, because I think it's illustrative.

the two groups of people in this fandom who have specifically harassed me have been, as I've said before, imo/dna fans mad I don't find the ship very good, and (to be fair, only on one occasion) shadowido/mauk fans who got mad that I said that tagging ao3 fic about throuples with individual pairs sucks. [hilariously the latter was not even about them at all, it was about me looking for imogen and fearne ship fic that wasn't witchy trio fic and finding it almost impossible to filter].

I do not like these people because they have engaged with harassment. It is not about identity; it is about actions. My closest friend, and the first non-family member I talked to on Wednesday morning, is a bi woman in an open marriage to a woman, with a longterm male partner. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. The last time I visited her, in September, I was joined by other mutual friends, who are similarly in an open marriage with longterm partners and at least one relationship between two women.

I am entirely secure, in my personal life, that I am kind and accepting to queer women (of which I am one) and to poly people (of which I am not), and so I hope you can appreciate that if someone attempts to attack me on the internet on these grounds because I do not have the same exact opinions on pretend people kissing, my response isn't "oh my god I should go off and die because I'm a terrible person," it's "get a load of this moron making wild assumptions about my personal life based on a single data point in my preferences in fiction; I'm going to make them regret doing this to me, and hopefully anyone else, because this is genuinely a detrimental behavior in the fandom space." And also, you know what. If they were a homeless person on the street and asked for a dollar I would still give it to them if their attacks were merely verbal (yes, I know the idea of someone screaming "YOU'RE A LESBOPHOBE FOR HATING IMO/DNA can i have a dollar" outside the grocery store is rather comical, and I think that is how you need to consider statements like "um actually I won't help pro-shippers." Imagine that conversation happening in an irl activist group. Everyone would be like "uh...anyway, how do we fight back against this hostile bench architecture.")

I think right now it is vitally important to remember what actual bigotry looks like and what needs to be fought, and the reason I tapped the sign of this post last night is literally that I think you are wasting time and energy engaging with people who think bigotry is "criticizing the pretend guy Ashton Greymoore for concrete but pretend choices they made" when I also think most people criticizing Ashton would, if Ashton were real, still toss them change if they needed it, or are people who currently donate to or otherwise work with local programs that assist nb people, disabled people, or unhoused children.

I like to argue and I like to engage in fandom and I will continue doing that because it is a source of enjoyment and comfort for me, but I really urge everyone to ask yourself "am I arguing about genuinely different readings, or do I think that everyone who doesn't like my blorbo ship is a bad person" because if it's the latter, I think you need to nip that in the bud of online fandom before it grows into something darker and worse. A lot of irl hate and bigotry starts from a place of "everyone who doesn't agree with me and give me what I want all the time is wrong and evil" and perhaps I am too optimistic, but I think many people who say things like that in fandom just are caught up in the drama of it all and are capable of exercising empathy when they stop treating shipping or interpretation like a popularity contest that, if they lose, indicates that everyone around them is irredeemable. But I also think it can be the start of a really bad path.

[fourswordsannotated]

akira himekawa are unbelievably cool.

soooo here's the thing. i was looking at akira himekawa's website on a whim and found a public blog, with posts that go all the way back to 2009. many hours of google translating later, and i've developed an even stronger admiration of these two women and their exceptional career as manga artists. they share so much in these posts about the creative process, their thoughts on social justice, their connections with nature, and their most major original story, gliding reki, which seems to have always been a passion project in the midst of commercial work.

from what i could gather, reki is unique in that they were determined to do it in full color. and they did it, because after reading about their career, it's clear to me that when these women set their mind to an idea, they make it happen. see also: they just recently produced and distributed their own art book, because no publishers were offering to do it in a way that pleased them.

their stated goals for reki were to make something more adult than their previous children's manga, taking place in a city, involving a lot of mechanical art, and featuring stronger romantic and self-described erotic subtext. good for them. before i get into the four swords-related stuff, i'm sharing what i could find on the internet about reki.

more under the cut, because there's quite a bit to discuss :)

not much that i could find on the blog specifically references four swords, but they have many fascinating insights about nintendo, the zelda fandom, and the franchise as a whole. i can't know for certain because this information was surmised from translated text, but it seems as if their manga with chibi link made them feel a little stifled, which is why they took a long break before returning to do twilight princess. it's not lost on me that even a work like four swords, which they may regard as not their favorite or best, still has inspired and brought together so many passionate, creative, and diverse people. this is especially sweet because it seems as if they met each other, and formed their creative partnership, because of a shared fandom interest of their own.

honda and nagano have shared their thoughts and feelings on this blog for more than a decade, and they have a lot of thoughts and feelings. throughout their entire career they've made commentary on work-life balance, their experiences as women in a male-dominated field, and their desire to create original art while simultaneously enjoying some commercial work as well. they are passionate about social justice, particularly re: women and indigenous people, and offer insights on aspects of culture and history and the state of the world that really could resonate with anyone. and they really seem to appreciate fans of their work, and emphasize repeatedly the care and thought they put into their manga in the hopes it will inspire and bring catharsis to readers. they love animals (especially wolves), being outside in nature, being nerds about art they enjoy, a certain subgenre of romantic manga that appealed to and empowered female readers in the 90's and 2000's, and traveling around the world to partake in activities like horse riding and falconry.

the coolest part is, they're still updating the blog to this day :) in fact they seem to have recently returned to it, reflecting that twitter is not their preferred manner of sharing things online. they seem very familiar with and fond of older-school blogging culture.

there's a lot more i could say here about my findings, some of which do pertain to... certain ships 💜🖤 . but i don't want my genuine appreciation for these authors to be overshadowed by that kind of conversation. in addition to a link to the blog itself, i'm including a few translated posts of interests, which you can interpret and incorporate into your perception of the media however you please. at the end of the day, it's a really cool gift that these artists have chosen to share so much over such a long period of time. by making their personalities, beliefs, and insights more visible to fans of their work, i hope it brings new context to the stories we already love.

a modern-day insight:

re: the zelda mangas. these are from several points throughout their career. please note that they have so many fond things to say about zelda as a franchise and their work on the mangas, especially regarding the way they've affected fans. i encourage you to look for yourself, on their blog and their other socials!

re: gliding reki

re: the creative process (and in the latter two, the fandom that seems to have inspired them!)

re: their two goofyass adorable tiny dogs that they dress up in outfits while also loving wolves like a lot, they love wolves (both domesticated and wild), they really love wolves

re: wolf day (every day is wolf day,)

re: indigenous rights

re: painting serious works on commission vs their manga. i can't know for sure exactly what it means, but it really does kinda hit

re: a fan and manga artist in training bringing them art and a note

and a moment from a twilight princess manga interview i found very sweet :)

okay. you've made it to the end. i know you're wondering. here you go. please remember that this is and always has been a public blog, and these posts are actually from 2009 and 2010. also please remember that the point of this post is not to cause or fuel fandom discourse, but to appreciate these authors and the things that they choose to express.

(also, this is the column they were referring to in image 1. it's FASCINATING. give it a read if you'd like!)

the dots are there. you're welcome to connect them.

thank you for your beautiful work and insights, honda and nagano. please never change.

[peachy-panic]

Companion, pt. 1

New Do No Harm content? In the current timeline? In 2024 the year of our lord? Could it be?

Here's part 1 of a couple-part saga in the Sebastian contract, which I lightly foreshadowed here.

WARNINGS: Not much outside the usual BBU tag and the uncomfortable power dynamics that come with it.

The house is warm when Sebastian gets home, in every sense of the word. A candle flickers an inviting glow on the coffee table, and the smell of garlic and onions rushes to greet him. As expected, he finds Jaime posted in the kitchen, tending to his latest creation on the stovetop. On the small bluetooth radio beside the toaster, a song he doesn’t recognize is playing.

It’s taking some time for Sebastian to get used to coming home to someone. For so long, for most of this adult life, it has been dark, empty apartments or cold, distant roommates, never allowed past arm’s length. And now, there’s Jaime, who has entered his life like a bullet and smiles over his shoulder when Sebastian walks into the room. 

He is getting better these days at reading his smiles, and this one, at least, appears to be genuine. Relieved, almost, that he is home. 

“Hi,” Jaime says first.

“Hello,” Sebastian echoes, dropping his coat over the back of a barstool. “What are we making?”

“It’s an Ezra recipe,” Jaime says, wiping his palms on his pants. “Is soup okay tonight? If that’s not substantial enough, I am happy to make something else with it.”

Sebastian does not let his smile drop or fade, no matter how desperately uncertain Jaime sounds. “Soup sounds great, Jaime. It smells amazing.”

It’s the truth, too. It’s a difficult balance, wanting to compliment his prowess in the kitchen and appreciate the genuine joy he seems to derive from it, while also trying not to think of the how and why. Sebastian doesn’t know much about what “training” looks like inside the facility, especially for the specialized domestic tasks that would have been assigned to Jaime, and he doesn’t particularly like speculating on the details. From everything he’s seen in the clinic, he knows that none of it is pleasant.

“How was work?’ Jaime asks, then seems to catch himself. He stiffens, looking sheepishly away. “Sorry. You probably aren’t allowed to talk about that.”

Sebastian snorts. “If only doctor-patient confidentiality applied in a place like that.” The words come out before he can consider the significance they carry to the person he’s speaking to. Guilt spikes sharp in his chest. “Sorry, that wasn’t…”

“It’s okay.” Jaime smiles, but it’s a tense, brittle line. 

“Um.” Sebastian clears his throat, trying to get their conversation back on the rails before he ruins the evening completely. “My day was okay. It was fine.” He shakes his head, pressing his fingers briefly to his eyes. “That was a lie. It was terrible, as usual. I don’t think I need to convince you that having a good day in that building would be a poor reflection of one’s character.” 

So much for salvaging the conversation, Tate. 

“Anyway, how was your day?” 

Jaime pulls the hand towel down from his shoulder and begins wiping at an invisible spot on the counter. “It was fine, thank you.”

Sebastian watches him, trying hard not to scrutinize the pre-packaged reply. His answer is always something of the same tune when Sebastian inquires about his day, never anything less than “fine,” never forthcoming on the details. It’s not the first time it’s sent Sebastian into a bit of a spiral about a concern he’s had from the very beginning: how does Jaime spend his days? Is he happy here? Has Sebastian provided him with enough resources to carve out some semblance of a life here?

He has tried. He has provided him access to the internet and all the movies streaming had to offer, he bought Jaime a reading tablet and granted blanket permission to fill it with as many books as he wants, he has given enthusiastic encouragement for Jaime to go for runs or walks whenever he’d like. It doesn’t feel like enough. He still ends up spending his long days at work wondering if Jaime is at home feeling like a prisoner. 

Sebastian pushes the thought away for now. 

“Is there anything I can help with?” He asks.

“It’s almost done, actually.” Jaime taps the excess liquid from the wood spoon and lays it on a ceramic dish. “Just needs a few more minutes to simmer. Sorry, I hoped it would be ready by the time you got home.”

Sebastian gives him a look. “You don’t have to cook at all,” he says. “Let alone have it hot and waiting at the table. You’re aware of my microwave burrito phase? My standards are low.”

“I remember.” Jaime assures him.  “I don’t mind, though. I like trying new recipes. Ezra lent me a cookbook. I tabbed a few that look interesting. If they look good to you, that is.”

“You have yet to steer me wrong. I’m starting to think it’s impossible for you to cook anything less than a masterpiece.”

The slight stutter in Jaime’s stirring is quick enough that Sebastian can brush it off as his imagination. 

“It passes the time,” Jaime says, a bit quieter. 

“What?”

“Cooking. Planning the meals, ordering the ingredients. Prep and cook time,” he elaborates. “It’s productive, is all I mean.” Jaime has gone tense, the way he does when he seems to say more than he means to, but he recovers quickly. 

The soup is ready shortly after, and dinner is delicious as always, but Sebastian can’t get out of his own head enough to really enjoy it. Jaime’s words—it passes the time—bounce around inside his skull, breaking open all sorts of subtext and confirming all of Sebastian’s fears. 

They’re cleaning up afterward, Sebastian scrubbing the dishes while Jaime dries, when a thought that’s been brewing spills out of his mouth. 

“Have you ever had any pets?” Sebastian asks, apropos of absolutely nothing. Jaime shoots him a quick side glance without pausing in his work. 

“Once,” he says after a beat. 

Sebastian knows it’s tricky ground, getting too close to details from Jaime’s past. He knows the rules he is bound by and how closely Jaime tries to follow them, even if sometimes Sebastian thinks he might be getting more and more comfortable with little rebellions. Sebastian is still riding the high from a couple weeks prior when Jaime had gifted him and Ezra the small nugget of truth that he used to play soccer, in his life before the system. What might have been an insignificant detail to anyone else was such a fragile, entrusted thing.

Sebastian doesn’t want to pry, though. He decides to keep his questions more general. 

“Do you like animals?”

“Yes.” That answer comes much quicker. 

“Would you…” Sebastian pauses, making sure he’s positive about the proposition he is making before he makes it. He is. “Tell me honestly if this isn’t something you’re interested in, and I won’t be offended in the slightest. I was wondering… if that might be something you would be interested in. Having a pet here.”

Jaime takes a minute to answer, like he’s choosing each word carefully. “Would it be solely for my benefit?”

“No,” Sebastian assures him, and it’s not a lie. “It’s something I’ve thought about before, but I don’t have a lot of experience with pets. Zero, to be exact, unless you count a goldfish that lived for under a week when I was seven.” He pauses. “I do worry about you getting lonely, though. Staying here by yourself all the time.”

“I don’t mind being alone.”

“I know. I just wonder if it might be nice to have some company. Something to look after.” Something to bring you comfort. Anything to make you happy here. 

A quiet falls over them, interspersed with the sound of running water and dishes clanking around in the sink, and Sebastian starts to think of how to walk this back. Because clearly this is something that gives Jaime pause. 

“What about…” Jaime starts, then stops. Sebastian puts down the dish he is working on and looks at him. Jaime meets his eyes for a split second and then averts them again. “Would you keep it, even after I’m gone?”

And shit. Maybe it’s a good thing he put the cup down in the sink, because Sebastian is pretty sure it would have shattered in his hand from the force of his grip. And he realizes, not for the first time, that the longevity of this… arrangement is something they need to talk about. In detail. At length. Soon. But now doesn’t seem like the right time. 

“If I brought a living creature into my home,” he starts carefully, “then this would become its home, too. It will be here for the long haul.”

After a long, weighty silence, he sees Jaime nod in his periphery. 

“I think I’d like that.”

****

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[klspacecadet]

aita in this ao3 comment thread

I don’t think it’s needed but for context this is a transmasc pwp that doesnt use afab language

Also if nobody tells me otherwise I’m gonna continue to think I absolutely ate them up at the end, so if you disagree I’d appreciate an explanation :)

comment exchange under the cut

me I’m so confused can someone please explain what keith’s anatomy actually looks like for context I missed the trans tags before reading this and spent the entirety of the fic violently confused as to what is going on (im trans) I appreciate the usage of gender neutral language but esp bc I didn’t realize he was trans here I just. don’t know whats going on??????? help me please I was like, “is this referencing foreskin….? does this person not know what a dick looks like? is keith intersex or something? uhhh” before I decided to go and check the tags and the comments and realized lol

them what about this made you feel like it was appropriate to comment?

me it was a genuine question?? Excuse me for being confused and wanting to be able to visualize the fic better, especially as a fellow trans person...

them your phrasing is really rude, intentional or not. I’m using language that describe mine and other trans men’s real life bodies. if you don’t get it, that’s fine, you’re not the target audience - but it’s not my job to explain it to you. leaving a comment about how it’s so confusing and weird is not the way to ask a genuine question, especially one about trans genitalia. yes, even if you’re also trans. I feel like that’s common sense. please gain some.

me I’m sorry if my phrasing came off as rude, I didn’t indend for it to be seen that way and I generally struggle with tone and phrasing. I commented my confusion over the vague phrasing and lack of description that might otherwise be inherent, and I merely wished to express my lack of understanding and willingness to learn more, which honestly isn’t that common on the internet. If this were about a real person’s body and a real person’s identity, I understand why more reservation and politeness would be necessary; however, since I’m commenting on something fictional that you wrote and posted for anyone to see, asking questions about your word usage and the body of a fictional character, I don’t think it’s justified to feel like I need to walk on eggshells when expressing this. Also, when I called it confusing, I felt it was implied that I was referring to your usage of vague descriptive terminology that nobody outside of your circle would be able to comprehend and picture, especially when they didn’t realize it was a trans fic at first. I also never said anything about it being weird, I actually said the opposite so idk where you got that from. I hope you have a good day and get off your high horse, I don’t see what reason you had to be so aggressive in response to someone asking a question, especially when most would probably jump to insults and hate. Hopefully from now on you no longer feel attacked when someone asks for clarification on your work, and you gain the ability to hold a respectful conversation without jumping to insults like “gain some common sense.” also idk why you responded in the first place instead of just deleting my comment and moving on if you felt it was so rude— I feel like that’s common sense nowadays, but perhaps you were looking for an argument. Good luck on your journey to kindness and hope you have a good rest of your day! :)

[ihopesocomic]

In my opinion, one of the main causes of characters that are "token representations" is demanding representation from artists, in a negative way.

Like, "WHY DON'T YOU HAVE GAY OCS?! YOU MUST BE HOMOPHOBIC!" This only makes artists create bad characters or then avoid creating diverse characters for fear of doing it wrong.

I'm referring more to small or hobby artists, and not big studios and things like that when I say this. I think assuming someone is sexist for only having male OCs is weird. Not every creator is making a story like I Hope So, with the INTENT of it being a story focused on queer characters.

Good representation comes with genuine desire to have representation.

That was a part of the previous conversation, so you're not wrong. Tokenism isn't great either because I specified on the QUALITY of the content. I have ALWAYS said this. Context is still important, so I would appreciate it if people didn't ignore everything I said before just because the only thing they read was the last thing I said.

Is there exceptions? Of course there is. I never said there wasn't, I actually specifically said there's exceptions. I'm still maintaining that you should be skeptical of people who won't diversify their casting, small creators or not. Because if you don't bother to ask why things are the way they are, then why bother doing anything else.

Also full offense, if you're a creator and you don't have a diverse cast because you're afraid of "doing it wrong" then *do better*. Artists use that excuse all the time to not draw black people/fat people/people with disabilities/etc. and I'm not about to have a different standard for writers. - Cat

-

To go with what Cat said about doing inclusivity better: maybe a solution to "doing it wrong" is idk... try engaging with minorities and actually listening to feedback and what they say about how they're represented in modern cinema and literature? Especially when you want asspats for representing said minorities and 'being inclusive', like the creator of My Pride obviously did, for example.

I don't know, there's just something weird about saying 'I'm afraid of doing it wrong' when you should naturally pick up what you know about other cultures and ethnicities and so on via life experience and/or research. It can just be as simple as talking to other people and, with the rise of the internet, I personally don't get how that's a struggle outside of somebody's refusal to learn. - RJ

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

Hello! :] I saw your post recently regarding the pervasive feeling of shame in newer fans re: Danganronpa, and it really resonated. I wanted to offer my two cents as a fandom old/armchair fandom archeologist that's hopefully a little heartening:

I remember back in 2012/2013 when Danganronpa was beloved, during the height of the SomethingAwful TL days. It was a genuinely fun time to be into things, especially as people were getting excited for an EN release, something that I do think the fandom deserves a little credit in making happen. I was there for the UDG release, DR3 anime, and the lead-up to v3's release, and unfortunately, I think the fact that all three of those entries were in some ways polarizing effectively memory-holed a lot of people into believing Danganronpa was never "good" to begin with, which makes it a lot easier to pick out its flaws and give it a bit of a weird reputation now.

(As a tangent, but some more context that might help: Danganronpa also got really big on my neck of the woods in Tumblr during one of the big Homestuck hiatuses. Back in the day there was a lot of fandom crossover, which I don't really think is the case nowadays, but I think for people that were either in both fandoms and had negative experiences, or people outside who disliked either/or, they've been inextricably linked together as part of a particular "time" in Tumblr/internet history that isn't remembered fondly. So, I have a theory that a lot of secondhand Danganronpa disdain comes from misplaced disdain for the other Big Thing at the time.

This also overlapped with the tail end of the big SuperWhoLock era to my memory, which is usually much more focused on which discussing Tumblr history. Which is a shame, because I feel like this particular transitional era of Tumblr "fandom" history has been underdiscussed because of it!

None of this is excusing some of the things I've seen said about DR fans and the ways people have been iced out for liking it, but I find trying to understand the factors at play always helps my mind figure out how to process these things.)

However: time moves on. This isn't permanent. Having gone back and re-experienced the whole series some 5+ years removed, I was able to find joy in parts of the series that, while I was in the thick of a shift in fandom attitude, didn't appreciate as much as I think I should have. I didn't absolutely love everything, but I had so much fun, it almost felt like I was experiencing things again for the first time.

I want to believe the same thing will happen as we get some time removed, as people get nostalgic for things and get older and understand that you can love something flawed, criticize it, and not feel shame for it. I always welcome fresh faces discovering something for the first time, but I think that some day, a lot of older fans can come back and embrace it as well. Sometimes you need time and life and a few extra years on you. I'm living proof of it! :P

Of course, this is just one person's perspective from one slice of the fandom. But I remain hopeful. There really is nothing else quite like Danganronpa for me, warts and all. You don't have to post this publicly or anything if you don't want to, but I wanted to offer a little hope to go with your thoughts. :') and I hope you have a great day!

Oh man, I really really appreciate this message. I am really interested in the perspective of fans who have been here for so long, and I always feel a little out of my depth talking about old (read: 2018 and before) DR fandom because despite seeing a Lot of it in my blog-diving, I still wasn't there. It's genuinely wonderful to hear that it was beloved like that, even if only fully for the first two installments.

I HAVE noticed a weird amount of homestuck/dr crossover in my searches, so that totally makes sense! Hell, my first exposure to DR on tumblr was a homestuck blog I followed back in 2017/2018ish (for the artstyle, I haven't read homestuck) that also posted a lot about Kazuichi. That's super cool!

While I feel like today, there is at least a little bit of fondness (even if it is a little ironic) for superwholock days, I see very little talk of homestuck. And when I do, it is usually with the same flavour of "Wow that fandom was so crazy" as old-DR.

I think there is usually this reactionary retrospective on site-wide popular fandoms to some degree after they start to wane in size. I saw it when I was in the TMA fandom. That thing was a monster, and over all I felt more stressed there than I ever feel now with DR. And after it ended, and really even During those last few episodes, you could feel a level of distaste for the piece of media growing. Although it never really reached critical mass like DR.

Maybe its even more apparent with something like Steven Universe- when it was actively coming out there was so much disdain for it (from some people) and for the fandom. I was there, on the sidelines, but I saw it all and it wasn't fun. But after its finale and a couple years of silence, people now seem to have come around and realized, whoa, so much about all that discourse was way overblown. I feel like a couple years ago there could still have been this sense of "cringe" posting about steven universe, while today its a lot more neutral.

Of course, it's kind of weird to compare DR and SU, and the nature of outside of fandom perspectives on them is not the same. The level of disdain for people posting SU never reached the point of DR either. But if it's anything to go by, I feel like there is hope eventually for people to stop having an immediate knee-jerk reaction to it. To look back and realize, "hey, that was actually pretty good," or "I didn't really appreciate this the first time." Or even just "It's fine actually to have nuanced take on this piece of media I don't like that concludes with them still liking it." I feel like we already got a mini-version of that in 2020, but since that's when I joined I can't speak too much on it.

Small tangent aside, I really appreciate this. I also hope people can come back around to it, or at least appreciate that it made them or other people happy at the time c:

[luckykiwiii101]

Not an ask because you act so immature to take seriously.Honestly,I never judge people for their ages but you are literally crazy and the way you answer questions looks like you think you are someone so busy,popular blah blah.Kid,Now i don't even believe you really entered to the void state,I know it is so easy but you don't even know how to answer simple questions.You keep saying the same things or blame people for stealing your time.You have to delete the app or take down that ask button shit,aren't you here to help people? Maybe they scrolled down in your acc but did not see the question that is similar to theirs and decided to ask.You can ignore that question or link the previous ask as an answer,stop acting immature.

I did notice this and it’s on purpose. I’m not a rude person. Thank you for holding me at account though. I have already tried being nice so many times and all that has earned me was just even MORE disrespect 😭 Of course i am very kind in real life but talking to people online is just on a whole nother level. These people get to hide behind screens and just disrespect anyone they want and to hell if you think i’m gonna let that happen to me. I’ve literally been on this app for not even 2 months. + I am a busy person so i really don’t appreciate you saying “you think you are someone so busy, popular”. I think that you forgot i actually have a life outside of tumblr. Do you realise that i get like 50+ asks a day, all along the lines of the same question. I’ve answered them many times and these people NEVER read my answers to the previous asks. They just spam and spam and spam to their hearts content. Treating me like some AI robot.

“You tell them to delete the app” Bro…i told a liar to get off the app. a LIAR. Someone who gets peoples hopes up. Literally destroying their faith in the void state. It’s because of these liars that people give up and think everyone on this app is lying. So ofcourse i’m going to tell them to delete the app for other people’s sake. People don’t deserve to believe that they can’t manifest their dream life just because of some internet troll roaming tumblr. I am not sorry for telling them to get off the app.

“Maybe they scrolled down your acc and did not see the question similar.”

It’s not difficult to find at all. I understand if it’s a genuine question that is hard to find the answer to but these people are literally asking me how to apply a state. There are 1000000 posts on how to apply states and they’re seriously asking me?!?! I’m sorry but what? They are too lazy to do research. Don’t expect me to answer the dumbest questions. Honestly.

“You don’t even know how to answer simple questions”

I shouldn’t have to answer such simple questions…what is your point exactly? They are simple questions, therefore meaning plenty of people have provided answers for them over and over again and you just want me to repeat it like a broken record everytime you want me to.

“Now i don’t believe you’ve entered the void state.”

Sorry but that’s not my problem. I haven’t created this blog to convince people of my success, i’ve created this blog to help people achieve their own success.

“You keep saying the same stuff and blaming people for stealing your time.”

Exactly. I KNOW i keep saying the same stuff because i get asked the SAME questions everyday, therefore WASTING my time. Thank you for acknowledging that.

“You can link the previous question with a link.”

That takes twice the amount of time. You STILL expect me to respond…for what? Am i your mom? I’m not babying grown adults on this app.

“You act so immature to take seriously.”

Then don’t look at my posts…? + Don’t provoke people then act surprised when they get mad.

“I never judge people for their ages but you are literally crazy.”

You say, as you judge someone for their age. Anyway i know i’m 15, and that adds to my point. The fact that i’m still in school and stress a lot about exams and people add more stress onto me by asking me 100000 questions of the same questions, or really obvious questions a day.

“Stop acting immature”

Not to take my own side but…people not doing simple quick and easy research is also immature. Me getting frustrated and calling them out is just a product of that. I do admit that i was mean to them, but that’s what it took for them to leave me alone, so i’m not going to apologise. When i was nice to the lazy people online, it got me nowhere.

(Not to stir drama everyone! Just to clear the air).

[thatlotuscookie]

Ok but furry y/n isn’t appreciated enough because the internet thinks all furries are cringe.

….

so yea, may I get a Sugawara Koushi with a Furry y/n please thank you =)

✧･ﾟ: a/n : writing suga in such a soft, accepting role was a joy, and I hope this brings all the cozy feels you were hoping for. Thank you for the request and sorry for the wait, i be going thru it BAHHA

✧ Title: ✧ Just Another Perfect Evening ✧ ✧ Characters: Sugawara Koushi x Furry!Reader (Gender Neutral) ✧ Genre: Fluff, Romance ✧ Rating: G ✧ Summary: After a long practice, Sugawara meets you outside the gym, ready to relax with you. His warmth and genuine affection make you feel completely accepted, and the evening unfolds as an unspoken reminder that he sees you for who you are, quirks and all. ✧ Content/Tags: Furry!Reader, established relationship, wholesome acceptance, soft romance, casual affection, Suga being a sweetheart, light blushing, tender words, slice-of-life vibes ✧ WC: 672 words // 3.7k chars

The gym was almost empty, and Sugawara had just finished his practice for the day, wiping the sweat from his brow with a contented sigh. It had been a tough session, but he felt a surge of energy, especially knowing you'd be waiting for him outside. He stepped out of the building, eyes scanning for you—spotting you with a gentle smile as you waited, tail swaying softly with excitement.

Your ears perked up as soon as you saw him, and you bounded forward, wrapping your arms around him as he laughed, happily returning your embrace. “You look adorable,” he murmured, giving a light scratch behind one of your ears, knowing it made you melt every time.

“Thanks, Suga,” you murmured, nuzzling against him with a bashful smile. It always surprised you how accepting he was. You’d dealt with enough teasing and odd looks, but Sugawara never acted like he even noticed your fur or ears beyond admiring them. He treated it as just a part of you.

You two began walking back to your apartment together, falling into easy conversation. “So, what’s next?” he asked, clearly in no rush as he held your hand gently, occasionally running his thumb along the top of your knuckles.

You gave a small, content hum. “Actually… I thought maybe we could watch that new movie you mentioned? I’ve got all the snacks ready.”

He chuckled. “You had me at snacks.” As you both entered your place, he kicked off his shoes and plopped down on the couch beside you, instantly leaning in for warmth, fingers casually resting on your tail, as though he’d done it a thousand times before. You couldn’t help but feel your heart swell at how comfortably affectionate he was.

The two of you chatted softly as the movie played, his fingers idly tracing circles on your hand. He turned to you during a quieter moment in the movie and gave a fond look, leaning his head against yours. “You know… I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as unique as you, and I love that,” he whispered. “You’re just… perfect.”

Feeling shy under his gaze, you nuzzled into him, feeling entirely at ease, safe in his arms. His acceptance meant more than words could say, and as he wrapped you up in a warm embrace, you knew he wouldn’t ever see you as anything less than beautiful.

As the movie continued, you felt his hand gently resting on your shoulder, his thumb tracing soothing patterns. He kept sneaking glances at you, a soft smile on his face. Every now and then, he’d lean in and whisper something sweet, making your heart flutter each time.

After a while, you noticed Sugawara watching you more than the screen. His eyes held a warmth you rarely saw in anyone else—a look that made you feel truly seen. “Hey, what are you thinking about?” you asked, nudging him playfully.

He tilted his head, taking a moment to find the right words. “Honestly? Just… how lucky I am. You’re so open and kind. People can be awful when they don’t understand something, but you—you’re always so brave,” he said, his voice soft but full of sincerity. “You could have been anyone, with anyone. But you’re here with me, and I don’t take that for granted.”

Your ears flattened slightly in a shy expression, and you felt the warmth bloom in your cheeks. He could always make you feel so at ease. “Thank you, Suga,” you whispered. “I’ve dealt with a lot of people who just… don’t get it. But you make me feel like just another person. You don’t make me feel weird.”

He laughed softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Weird?” he echoed. “You’re adorable.” His hand found yours again, and he held it firmly. “Besides, it’s fun having you by my side. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. You’re my person.”

The two of you stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s warmth and the peaceful silence of a quiet evening.

[chaoticbardlady99]

Darling, Never Stop Haunting Me (Spawn Astarion x F! Ghost Reader)

 Chapter Four: Regrets

Synopsis: You wake up in a place you've never seen before and shit hits the fan pretty quickly.

CW: Mentions of unwanted touch, gore, violence, mentions of child loss (Victoria)

Disclaimer- put together the picture for the banner, but I do not own any of the pictures. Birdie's 'image' is a stock image. I will not describe the readers body in detail- she is just merely on the banner for ✨drama✨. I believe the picture of Astarion is from @cheekylittlepupp . And then the symbol of Orcus in the back is a free image off the internet.

Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated! Thank you for all your support and love!

Chapter Three : Chapter Five: AO3

 When you wake up again, your head is spinning and there is a man leaning over you with a smile on his face- he’s dressed head to toe in Paladin gear and there is a boot print with a compass insignia on his chest. The man is pretty, his skin has a slight bluish tint to it, but otherwise it’s more caramel colored, and he has a goofy, boyish grin. His hazel eyes bore into yours and his black messy hair frames his face. 

 Astarion would distrust him immediately.

 Your head is throbbing and your abdomen still feels the ghost of the arrow going through your much smaller form. Yet, all you can think about is getting back to Astarion as soon as possible. You will destroy the world if you have to if it means being by his side again. 

 “Welcome to the City of Manifest!” he yells with excitement. 

  The city of what now?

“Oh no- I need to g-“

  “Come on, get up, I have places to show you!” the man says, “my name is Brayden- a Wyst Paladin, most beautiful human you will ever meet, and,” he turns around with his arms wide, “certified tour guide for the newly dead!”

 Newly dead? You’ve been dead for a few centuries now. Wait, are you?

 “Dead!? Like gone gone?” you begin to panic, “no- I can’t! I- I have someone waiting for me to come back!”

   Your whole body begins to shut down- the air you don’t need being dragged into you in quick harsh gasps from panic. You can’t be gone. You can’t be! 

  You hope Astarion is okay- maybe you aren’t too far away from where you died? You did just kind of show up here- you thought you would have been dragged into the Ethereal Current.

  “Oh don’t fret! I’m sure they are on their way now- the City is not that far from wherever you died since you woke up here instead of in the good ole current,” the man continues to march towards the gates of the City, “people often come and live here with their passed loved ones or you can purchase a Manifesting Ring and be a solid humanoid outside of the City.”

“Solid?” you ask in confusion. 

“Notice how you can feel the breeze?”

  You pause and a small gust of wind kisses your face. Your hand goes hesitantly to your cheek- you actually felt the wind. Maybe you didn’t really notice because you were able to feel the wind as a cat anyhow so it wasn’t something you had to miss for too long.

“Wow,” you whisper.

 You slide off your shoes and put your feet in the freshly rained on grass- a laugh of delight escapes your lips. You are genuinely truly solid.

 Something sparks to life inside of you and all of the ‘What Ifs” begin to swirl around in your heart- making you positively giddy.

 This means that you have a chance- an honest to Gods chance- at being romantically involved with Astarion. You jump and shout- running across the grass with your shoes in hand and Brayden chasing after you. You don’t stop until you hit the gates- breathless, but with no use for air.

 It’s incredible. The ache in your legs, your lungs, and the cobblestone beneath your feet hurts, but in a way that is familiar and foreign all the same. You can feel frizzy flyaway hairs on your head and you can smell! 

  There must be a pastry shop somewhere and you are determined to find it, but first things first- you need to find Astarion. 

“Grief and a half woman,” Brayden comes to a halt in front of her, “I’m the one who’s supposed to be leading you!”

  You chuckle awkwardly, “Uh sorry- I guess I just got really excited.” 

  Brayden smiled understandingly. 

 “I was the same way when I arrived. I was also grateful to have another chance at life.”

 You hum in agreement and allow him to actually guide you this time. He shows you the Magic Swan Tavern- the most popular in town for it’s shenanigans. He takes you through the entirety of the Portal Ward District and you make note of the nice dagger that Deric’s Weapons is selling. 

 Maybe, if you can scrounge up some money, you can buy it for Astarion as a, “Sorry I keeled over. Again.” present. 

  After the Portal Ward District, you end up in the Market Ward with people shouting out their prices and discounts. Then you are off to Forestview and then back through the Portal Ward- The Leafy Branch tavern is far more quiet and calm than The Magic Swan Tavern, but you think you would prefer the noisiness and fun. You’ve missed out on that kind of environment for a very very long time. 

 There is so much to remember that your head feels like it’s swimming- there’s candle shops, pastry shops, live entertainment, loved ones reuniting, and people walking around with their neighbors or friends. 

 You are snapped out of your mystified reality when you arrive at The Tombyard district- the smell of rot and the feelings of despair make you feel colder than you already are.

 “This is the Tombyard- there is an eclectic group of individuals here,” Brayden says uneasily, “Necromancy and other magic that disturbs the peace of the dead are forbidden, but that doesn’t stop everyone.”

  There is a loud clattering from the alleyway and the Cleric steps in front of you protectively.      

 “Wait here,” he says sternly, “don’t go away with anyone who is not me or your friend, okay?)

 “Okay?”

  What in the hells is happening?

 10 minutes pass, then 20 before he reappears, except his eyes are different. Instead of being more brown, they are more red. His footsteps are way too soft compared to the clunking he was making earlier.

 “I really appreciate the tour and everything,” you say to Brayden, “but I need to go and find my friend-”

“Oh come on- just let me buy you one drink!” He grabs your arm, trying to drag you to the Tavern. 

 The man’s entire demeanor had changed. He was not puppy-like anymore- he was far too cool and collected. Horrifically pushy too. 

“No- I really need to find Astarion.”

“Forget him,” the man rolls his eyes, “he hasn’t gotten here yet. He’s probably moved on.”

  What? This man was just telling you about all the places to show Astarion and now he is saying he isn’t coming? 

 You feel tears prick your eyes and your lower lip begins to tremble. That’s not possible- is it?

 The man looks forlorn when he realizes how upset he made you. He comes over and gently pats your shoulders before looking you dead in the eyes. Although his face shows empathy, his eyes are empty and devoid of emotion. 

 You just need to get back to Astarion, this man doesn’t matter.

“Hey, look,” he says with a sigh, “I know someone who can help us find hi-“

 “Where!?” You practically scream, “take me there right now!” 

  The man smiles at you and gestures for you to follow him back towards The Tombyard. Something inside of you screams to stop following him, but the dumb part of you, the worried part of you that needs Astarion NOW, is winning over common sense. 

  There are far more alleyways in the Tombyard than you realized (you weren’t really paying much attention anyway), but something about going through alleyways with a stranger screams, “Astarion is going to have a cow when he realizes you followed a stranger when he has to rescue you from said stranger.”  

  You stop, letting ‘Brayden’ go further ahead when your stomach turns even tighter. Something is wrong. Very very wrong. 

 It’s like being in the Catacombs again.

  The man stops when he realizes you aren’t following him anymore, both of you staring at each other and standing mere feet apart. 

 Whoever this is- this is not the tour guide you met mere hours ago. This person has ill intentions.

 “Who are you?” 

  The question hangs in the air like a threat. It wasn’t meant to be, but knowledge is power and that’s all you have right now. 

  His face contorts and the man snarls in frustration- revealing massive canines. Your eyes go wide as the entire illusion drops. 

 It’s Leon. Of course it’s fucking Leon. 

 “You and Astarion are an annoying fucking duo,” he says harshly, “between the two of you- I really don’t know who is worse, but I am certainly fed up.” 

  Oh that might be a threat. 

  You take off running- sliding around corners of alleyways with Leon hot on your heels through the back alley of The Tombyard. He was Cazador’s best hunter for a reason and he certainly isn’t losing your trail. 

 Oh to be a cat again- there are so many good hiding spots. Astarion is going to have to take you to Halsin immediately after this- you definitely need to add ‘Druid’ to your limited list of skills.

  Leon sends you flying with a thunder wave and you have officially decided flying isn’t for you. 

  The wall hurts as you crash into it- your nose makes a cracking noise and some kind of blue liquid is coming out. Your head is spinning- the world is spinning. Your pants are ripped at the knees from skidding and your hands are raw with ectoplasm.

  You’re going to die die (two times in a day? What the hell did you do to deserve this?)

  Leon comes into your vision and you try to push yourself away- absolutely desperate to get away. It’s no use- every attempt at kicking out at him or fighting him off has failed and now he’s force feeding you a paralytic as he grips your scalp painfully- slamming your head against the pavement until you stop fighting back.

 Tears slip down your face- you should have listened to your instincts. Now you’re never going to see Astarion again and it feels like a massive gut punch. You always waited too long and never took risks, but of course the one risk you take is going to be your last. 

 And it’s not the risk you wanted to take today.

 I am so so sorry, Star, you think remorsefully, and Gods do I wish I told you I love you. 

                 *******************************

  The sound of Leon screaming and cursing in indignation is what snaps you back into the world. 

  He really fucking lost it after Cazador died, huh? Hopefully Victoria isn’t being subjected to this at home. If she is- you are going to need to locate the nearest looney bin for insane undead (it’s a literal bin, you and Astarion frequently joke about Gardening and used Cazador as fertilizer for really pretty pink flowers). 

  You are both in a cage (how fitting- a Birdie in a cage) and you think you may be in some kind of temple. It smells even worse than Szarr Palace and the individuals walking around are very obviously somewhere between a rotting zombie and an intelligent, humanoid. Astarion had described a man like this once- Balthazaar- and to your recollection, the man was a Necromancer. 

 So none of this really bodes well for either one of you right now. 

 “We had a deal!” Leon spits at the man looking at him in amusement from the other side, “a soul for a soul- I brought you someone else’s loved one and you owe me.”

 “Hm,” the man says, “even when immortal, humans are still the dullest humanoid.” 

 “Ha!” You snort, Leon glaring at you, “what? You deserved that one.” 

  He growls something unintelligible towards you before turning to speak to the Necromancer again, but he’s already gone.

“You dolt!” you exclaim, “look at what you’ve done! You bored the man with the keys away.” 

 “Don’t you mean scare?”

“I know what I said- dick cheese,” you scrunch up your nose, stick out your tongue, and flip him off. 

  “Gods,” Leon groans, “you are as bad as Astarion. Maybe I should have tried to kill him the first time I asked to take you and he said no. Or I could have been more aggressive in my hunts, but of course the fucker has developed some basic common sense and combat skills.”

  Your face must reveal some element of shock because Leon just snorts and shakes his head in disdain.

 “That son-of-bitch never talked to you about that, did he?” 

 “Obviously not,” you quip, “does this look like the face of a person who knows what you are talking about?” 

  Leon looks at the ground- his shoulders slumped in defeat.

 “Victoria died,” he says flatly, “Dalyria killed her before the ritual. I came here, hoping she was waiting for me, but she wasn’t able to get out of the Ethereal Current.

“I ran into that Necromancer,” he says with disgust, “and he told me that he could bring back Victoria, but he needed the soul of another person’s loved one. An eye for an eye- to complete the spell. I had already done the original groundwork- you were the missing piece.

“I asked Astarion to talk to you two days after you both left Baldur’s Gate, since we all knew he had some weird attachment to a cat, but obviously you didn’t get a say.” 

  You are floored. This definitely should have been a conversation for you two to have- a child literally died! You would have happily helped! You will definitely be having a conversation with Astarion about this. You at least deserve to have a say over your own life force.

 “Ha, I thought he’d leave his guard down, slip up, something,” Leon scoffs, “but no. Every trap, every location, and every attempt has been thwarted by Astarion. Hells- I even fucking killed you before you left that portal and it’s like he’s still keeping me away from my daughter because he taught you to be suspicious. 

“I wish Cazador had been able to torture that runt one last time or better ye-“ 

  Somehow- your hand ends up around Leon’s vocal chords. And not just in a normal way- oh no. Your hand is submerged in his skin and is practically translucent. If you weren’t so positively pissed- you would have probably taken the time to throw up. 

 “You will not talk about him that way,” you leer into the man’s face and he does actually look afraid, “You would be lucky to be half the man Astarion is and if you slander his name one more time, I’m going to possess you and make you lap up disgusting, congealed blood off the floor- capiche?” 

  Leon continues to just look back at you in shock and horror so you tighten your grip.

“I SAID- CAPICHE!?” 

  Leon nods wordlessly and you let go of your chokehold on his vocal chords. You are also still in shock, but he doesn’t need to know that. He can’t know that you are very very new to this whole interactive ghost thing. 

 “What happens now?” You ask slowly, “do you know what is going to happen to us?” 

  Leon shrugs and just falls to the floor- sitting down against the cage in defeat.

“I don’t know, but I can’t imagine anything good.” 

 You frown, “what makes you say that?”

 “Because of us.”

 A chill runs up your spine and you begin to develop goose flesh along your arms. Slowly, you turn in the direction of Dalyria’s voice and what you see- you can hardly fathom. A blood curdling scream leaves your mouth. 

 Dalyria, Violet, Petras, Yousen, and Aurelia are all chopped up and sewn together at different places. One massive body with mismatched eyes adorning Dalyria’s head and the other eyes and mouths stitched shut. Dalyria has two tongues and drools pouring out of her mouth. They are all stitched onto Yousen’s torso but with Petras’ arms and legs. Every part is mutilated in some horrific way. 

  You put your face in your hands and sob so hard you begin to gag. 

 “Leon did this to us,” Dalyria slurs into the open, “we were the groundwork. Miss Incognito is still being worked on, but she’s gone too.” 

 No! You scream to yourself, no! They should all be happy- living their lives! Not- not this!

 You favored Astarion, but you did like the others and you liked Victoria too. You tried to help them too when you could and they are- were- genuinely good people who never deserved this.

   With shaking hands and chattering teeth- you feel something light up inside of you and a wave of red blurs your vision. 

 “You MONSTER!” You scream, getting up right, “you had no right!”

  You kick your foot and will it to become translucent and it does. Leon’s head goes flying backwards into the cage and you try not to think about the squishy contents on your shoes. 

 The rage, grief, and sadness in your body is all inflicted onto Leon in crazy, supernatural ways. You are blinded by powers you didn’t even know you had, you barely even remember what actions you took or spells you unintentionally cast. 

  When Leon is finally lifeless and destroyed- you go to the other side of the cage and curl up in a ball in the corner. 

 You’ve never killed anyone and you are beginning to regret it now. Leon is unrecognizable and you struggle to look away.

 Did you really just condemn a man to death because he had tried to get his beloved daughter back?

 “What an impressive display of power!” 

  You look up and come eye to eye with a Lich of all the fucking things. Astarion is going to be so upset with you when he finds you. You can already hear him castigating you.

 “WHAT IN THE WRETCHED HELLS WERE YOU THINKING!?” 

 Oh, you were just thinking that he may leave without you if he thought you fucked off and you love him too much to never see him again. 

 Just some silly little feelings is all. 

 For once, you are being the impulsive one. Hopefully Astarion is prepared to be the prepared one this time. 

 If he even comes for me, you think, I wouldn’t have gotten within 100 feet of this place if I had known there was a Lich here.

 “You know, Leon said there was something special about you,” he circles the cage, “I thought he was talking out of his ass.

“How wonderful of him to have brought me such an incredible gift before his untimely demise. I suppose he should consider himself lucky- at least this way he can see his daughter again.”

 The Lich chortles and a shiver goes up your spine as one of his lithe fingers reaches through the cage and strokes the side of your face. You feel your tears start up again in full force and then he cuts your cheek with his nail before lapping up the ectoplasm that flows through your veins through the cage. His breath is foul and rancid- his tongue feels like sandpaper on your skin.

 “Mmmmm delicious,” the Lich smiles, “it’s a shame you’ve found a way to be useful to me and my research. Hopefully I will be able to indulge in you later.” 

 No, no, no! This can’t be happening.

  “Pl-pleas-please don’t hurt me,” you say through sobs and tears, “I wo-won’t tell anyone what I saw- I will never come back here! Please!” 

 The Lich frowns and looks annoyed with you. 

“Orcus help me, I hate beggars and weaklings,” he scoffs, “I’ll keep you with me so when I have use for you again- I know you won’t be very far.” 

 A searing pain roars through your body and the world goes completely dark.

****************************************************************

Author note: Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated! Please let me know if you would like to be on the tag list! I am using the Ghostwalk campaign for NPCs, locations, etc. It is a 3e Campaign and doesn’t mirror 5e Ghosts. I have tweaked some of the ghost powers and such for the sake of the story, but if you would like more information on Ghostwalk and the City of Manifest, there is a PDF online that is free to download :)

Tag List: @n3rdybirdee @fandomarchiveilyd @dajeong @hotmesshobbit @godoffuckedupcats @bitchstarion @hereliesblackdragon @pebble-bb @preciouslittlebhaalbae @lavvyan @beepersteeper

Special thanks to @davenswitcher thank you for helping me brain storm 💜

[ember-owlet]

Hi hi :]] I practically did a little happy dance seeing blue eye samurai in your fandom list !

It's super easy for me to see Mizu as a regressor due to various reasons, particularly involuntarily! (And they very much deserve to catch up on their childhood)

So I think the formal request would be a headcanon post ! 👀 it doesn't have to be specifically regressor Mizu if you don't see her in that light /gen :]

I'm just happy someone else in this little corner of agere internet shares one of my interests !! ✨️🌿

a/c : hello!! aaa i'm ecstatic to know that you also enjoy blue eye samurai with an agere lens! despite the show's brutality, there are some really good nuggets of baby content to be found. i'd be happy to write some regressor! mizu headcanons for you as its about time i wrote something for them. and don't worry, i see her in the same light as well! feel free to send me your own personal thoughts on the characters/show to discuss as i'm thrilled to be in this corner of the agere internet with you friend. enjoy the headcanons! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ disclaimer! i do use primarily feminine terms when referring to mizu (they/she), but i do acknowledge that there are many interpretations of pronouns/gender identities to refer to the character as, and i find them wonderful! /gen

dynamic: regressor! mizu

content warnings: mentions of vent regression due to trauma, physical/mental anguish, light mentions of gender dysphoria ((stay safe little firelights, you can always come back to this when you're ready))

mizu has always been a trauma regressor to me, especially due to their lack of dealing with their feelings head on. their body would have to nearly force them to stop and take a break from their revenge mission and focus on recovering.

the first time she regressed would be terrifying to her, the feeling of being so out of control and helpless would make her hide away to try to push herself out of it as fast as possible.

it would take an incredible amount of time and trust developed before she felt safe around someone to tell, let alone show such a vulnerable state.

the select characters that i could realistically see her regressing around would be sword father or ringo.

if she were to regress voluntarily it would be to have the childhood that she wished she could have, one where she wasn't forced to grow up as a boy and to ease her gender dysphoria with feminine items/clothing.

she would be a very independent kiddo, not wanting to rely on others in fear that she would be an inconvenience or she would be punished for wasting someone's time after being treated as a monster for so long. if she were honest she genuinely wouldn't know how to react to such affection.

that being said, she needs gentle reassurance when in a younger state with a caregiver that helps her along the way. adding fruit/vegetables to her meals to make sure its balanced or mending their clothes would never go unnoticed and greatly appreciated.

she'd be so used to the feeling of being in pain or nauseous that she'd have a hard time differentiating pain that should be attended to or not. therefore her caregiver would need to keep an eye on her and remind her that any and all pain is worth looking at/caring for.

as a sentimental person she'd want to keep things gifted to her and wear or use them as comfort items until they physically can't be repaired anymore.

some of her favorite gifts would include free flowing or baggy clothes that she can keep close to her person for comfort.

her main comfort item is her sword, and would not be able to go anywhere or sleep without it clutched to her side as it reminds her of home and is something that she can rely on to keep her safe.

an actually extremely feral regressor as well if given the chance to be her true self (/lh /pos). i could absolutely see them wanting to play outside and then coming back home caked in mud and bruises while having the time of their life.

let her be a goofy kid!! growing up so fast from situations out of her control that she'd long for days where she'd let herself have fun.

LOVES going to the beach/aquarium. a true ocean lover whose favorite activities involve being around or in large bodies of water.

play fighting is a love language! she would love to wrestle her playmates/caregivers to see who is the strongest. as a physically stronger regressor she'd need to learn the value of her strength and to not be too rough if she were to get too excited.

they can get easily frustrated with creative tasks, and would prefer specific instruction in order to feel useful. it would make them the best helper around.

would love to play a game where they are the hero for once. (being called a monster can wear someone down mentally and it would definitely make her day to be seen as the hero of the story).

she also requires a ton of quiet time to allow her mind and body to rest. would she ever do it herself willingly is another question for another day, but she'd reluctantly do it if asked of her with sufficient gentle praise and coaxing.

as touch starved as they are, i can't see her being the one to initiate contact with someone unless the moment takes over her softer side and she can't help but wrap her arms around them or gently nudge them with her body to tell them that she's there and cares for them.

from her caregiver or those that she considers close she would accept forms of physical affection but wouldn't be too vocal on how much it means to her.

she'd believe that she'd never be able to repay her caregiver for their kindness but will continually try to find little things throughout the day to show them how grateful she is.

oddly enough i could totally see her gifting a sword to her caregiver as it is something that she believes she's good at and would work tirelessly day and night to make sure it's perfect.

despite being in a younger mindset she can and still would mean business to anyone who dares mess with her caregiver. even a baby phoenix still has talons.

[sasori-rp]

A much needed Post

Good evening everyone, I hope you're all having a good day.💜

Yes, I probably tagged you in this, dear stranger. Before you click off, I ask you to give me 5 minutes of your time. Just 5, then you can go about your day. But I would appreciate it, if you listened to what I have to say, because it means a lot to me and many...many others.

I'm posting today, because this topic has been on my heart lately and I wanted to share my thoughts with you. I'm sure you've already guessed that this is about the whole Kisame-anon chaos.

Before we begin, I want to get this out of the way: This post is coming from a genuine and loving place. My goal is not to point fingers, nor placing blame or justify anyone's actions, including my own. This post is about me, trying to understand the entire situation and providing my sentiments to it.

Act I: Why do I not just shut up?

Why do I get involved you might ask? It's not so much that I want to get involved. It's more that any anon who begins their journey here, gets inevitably sucked into it. We are faced with angry posts, confusing explanations and forced to choose who to believe and support. If you don't, you walk on eggshells filled with guilt and if you do, you're being blocked by the entire half of the disagreeing party.

This is not what I signed up for.

I come on to Tumblr to Roleplay and have fun. I've been having a splendid time here. You guys are making me so happy as of late, allowing me to play freely and giving me a space for all my creative ideas. And I want to continue doing so.

I want to be able to chat up anyone, without fearing that someone else will jump at my throat for it. That includes Kisame, Hidan, Orochimaru and many more of you wonderdul RPers.

Recently I have noticed that I've been blocked by several people and I can guess, what the reason is. And it saddens me because...I like you guys. We were talking and sharing fun experiences, only for me to discover that I am suddenly cut off from it. For no other reason than that I interact with a person they have a quarrel with. And that is just...not the solution. So what is the solution?

Act II: The Anon War in a nutshell

Now, from my understanding, there is a big rift between two groups.

1) Those who have received digital harassment in form of hate/rape/death threats (and believe Kisame-anon to be the culprit)

and

2) Those who defend Kisame against those claims, or, like me, don't just blindly hop onto a hate train they saw on the internet

Again, my goal with this post is not to be the divine judge over who is in the right here. It is, objectively, pretty much impossible from an outsider's standpoint. And additionally, I don't think either of you is necessarily to blame for your individual reactions.

I absolutely feel for you guys, Hidan-anon and your friends. I, too, would be seething if someone I love was harrassed in the way Hidan (and co) has been. I do not know the extent of the harrassment. But I believe you when you say, that you've suffered. And I am very sorry you have been through that.

I also feel for Hidans friends, who, (bless their hearts) really are trying to protect them from further harm. An absolutely understandable sentiment.

I do however, also really feel for Kisame, who, (bear with me here) is probably being framed. They have been faced with a lot of backlash from party 1, have tried to defend themselves to no avail, up to the point of having to retreat. And all that...for what?

Act III: The Point I'm trying to make

Do none of you realise, that you're being pinned against each other?

There is a person (or perhaps several) that has harrassed Hidan-anon with very vile threats and they are getting away with it. There is someone out there, that is having the time of their life, watching you scratch each others eyes out, causing pain and suffering for everyone involved, while they sit back and watch the show.

Kisame-anon has not sent you these messages. They have proof of it. Wether you believe them or not, is up to you, but...

Do you really want to keep hurling hate at a person, that is just as much a victim as you are? A person who, themselves, is a victim of sexual abuse and would never even think of the idea of sending someone rape threats?

Would you not rather work together to bring that (pardon my french) asshat to justice, that is playing sick games with the both of you?

And mind you, it's not just Kisame you're isolating. You're isolating their friends, who are doing the same as you: Protecting those they care about.

You're isolating kind strangers like me, who just want to roleplay without the drama, by blocking them by mere association.

And you're isolating oblivious newcomers, who might have the misfortune of stumbling over the "wrong" blog at the wrong time.

This is not okay guys.

And coercing others into doing the same (blocking by association) is further doing damage, because many people just want to stay away from the drama and thus do as you say without much thought. The whole thing is harmful in itself, but it's worse, because you're doing it to the wrong person.

Kisame has evidence that they're innocent. Kisame also has a quite solid theory who it is. Do you not want to at least have a look at it?

If you truly care about the safety and wellbeing of your friends, I strongly suggest you do. Because the actual predator is still out there.

I am glad that Hidan went to the police. I hope that they find who is behind all of this and that they get taken care of for good. Because like things stand now, you're about to drag an innocent person to the guillotine and letting the true perpetrator go. And you're dividing an entire RP fandom, that used to be a safe space.

I don't want this to happen.

Act IV: So...what now?

I want this post to be a wake up call. A wake up call for all those who are as confused, as I was and unsure what to do; but also, especially, to Hidan-anon and friends. Please, let us put down arms and find a solution.

I care about you. And I care about Kisame. And I love this little RP space we built and the friends I made here. I want us to stand together, acknowledge each other's suffering and grow as people. Let us talk things out.

I want this post to be a safe place for exchange. Feel free to add your thoughts and sentiments in the comments. Everything is welcome, as long as it is respectful and communicated calmly. I am more than happy to provide you with a neutral ground to talk things out. My DMs and Asks are always open for anyone who needs an ear or a shoulder.

We, as Naruto fans, more than anyone else, should know that hate creates nothing but more hate. So let us lead with compassion and patience. And listen to each other. Thank you for your attention.

[destinyc1020]

Sunday confessions

This is the tweet that sparked it off for me:

https://twitter.com/carolinerenard_/status/1772686529527160858?t=bIg9VXTGmPmGs9Cr7EYaiw&s=19

This is going to be a silly confession because I genuinely feel this topic is a dead horse, but my concern is of the mental health of stans in this aprt of the Internet, so here it goes. Some solo Tom fans are not really fans of who he is, but what they want him to be.

There is a blog who I dont want to mention cause I feel that they are entitled to their opinions, who seem very frustrated that Tom is allegedly doing SM4 and that fans aren't outraged with the fact his career isn't being steamrolled into prestige cinema outside the machine of MCU.

These fans are similar to CE fans, no shade.

I can understand the frustration cause Chris Evans fans also were in annoyance with the state of his career, post MCU. Chris Evans fans also hate his wife too so there's that, lol. Some Tom fans dislike the fact that he is just with Z and has no identity outside of it other than being a bf. Valid to some degree.

Now, let's bring some reality back into this. Stans need to understand that they don't know what Tom doing behind the scenes. They don't know what's in his head or his personal feelings. That tweet I linked was a very good observation in Stan culture cause some fans genuinely believe that Tom's accomplishments and actions are linked to them. It's a scary position to be cause now you are on the Internet spewing negativity towards tomdayas or anyone who celebrates their relationship and are in bubble cause you all lack nuance.

To be fair, Tom isn't taken seriously as an actor. Him doing a play is the best way to be taken seriously cause the theatre is the actors medium. He signed to do a 4th film for the MCU. You can't blame anyone but him for that. He's grown and is gonna do what he wants. If you don't like it, unstan. There are plenty of yt male actors who are doing prestigious films and Oscar buzz films to stan. The thing is you can't cause let's be honest we all love Tom and there's something about him that you can't help but root for.

He likes pics of Z, he even likes pics where he's just the photographer for Z. He lives tomdayas pics. He personally loves that role.

You have to meet ppl where they are at not what you want them to be. You have these high standards for a stranger, I can only imagine what you expect for ppl in your everyday life. Probably more leniency.

Pls stan culture is meant to be fun!!! Don't internalise or jump into conclusions or conspiracy due to what you don't know. Judge want you actually know through facts. And get help if you need it.💜

Thanks Anon for your confession. 😊

Usually, I would not say much and just appreciate your honest thoughts on this topic, but you brought up so many interesting things that I just have to comment longer on this lol... Hope you have a comfortable chair! 😅

My response below:

👇👇

First of all...Whew! Those tweets! WOW! Can I say? Completely, 100% agree. 👏🏾 This is what is at the crux of stan culture and social media addiction, and celebrity obsession.

Some solo Tom fans are not really fans of who he is, but what they want him to be.

I agree. I think there are SOME fans of Tom who are truly genuinely fans of his, but they want his career to look a different way, or to be what THEY want it to be, instead of just letting go of control, being a passive fan, and allowing his career to be whatever it's going to be.

One thing about me is that I'm usually a passive fan of whoever I'm a fan of. While I would love my faves to do certain roles, I'm not out here getting angry or upset if they aren't doing roles that I personally would love to see them do. I just go with the flow. I'm happy whenever I hear of a new project announcement for one of my faves, and I let things go!

There is a blog who I dont want to mention cause I feel that they are entitled to their opinions, who seem very frustrated that Tom is allegedly doing SM4 and that fans aren't outraged with the fact his career isn't being steamrolled into prestige cinema outside the machine of MCU.

First off, everyone is entitled to their own opinions.... With that said, maybe Tom has already done "prestigious cinema" as a younger guy, and now he wants to do more of a variety of roles. Did that thought ever occur to people?

I can understand the frustration cause Chris Evans fans also were in annoyance with the state of his career, post MCU. Chris Evans fans also hate his wife too so there's that, lol.

Hey now....not ALL of us Chris Evans fans out here are hating on him and his career, or hate on his wife lol. 😅 I, for one, would like to see him get out of the "Marvel Bubble" and have more substantial roles in the future, but I'm not upset with the work that he's BEEN getting during and post-Marvel. I just enjoy seeing him in whatever new venture/project that he has coming out?? 😅

Also, Idk much about Alba, but aside from the age gap and the fact that she looks like a KID lol, I AM actually very happy for Chris and Alba and their marriage. She seems very sweet, and she seems to make him very happy. 🥰 I love that for him! ❤️ Everyone deserves love. 🥰

Some Tom fans dislike the fact that he is just with Z and has no identity outside of it other than being a bf. Valid to some degree.

I do think there's some validity to this...as I've mentioned this before myself.

Stans need to understand that they don't know what Tom doing behind the scenes. They don't know what's in his head or his personal feelings.

Exactly! I agree with this 100%.

He's grown and is gonna do what he wants. If you don't like it, unstan

There are plenty of yt male actors who are doing prestigious films and Oscar buzz films to stan. The thing is you can't cause let's be honest we all love Tom and there's something about him that you can't help but root for. He likes pics of Z, he even likes pics where he's just the photographer for Z. He lives tomdayas pics. He personally loves that role.

Okay.... I'm sorry, but I have to vent here for a second.

Whew...Where do I begin?

Don't get me wrong, I think it's cute, adorable, and lovely that Tom is so supportive of Z, and some of the cute things they do in their relationship is just really adorable and makes us all believe in love again. 🥰

The PROBLEM that I'm seeing though is that Tom isn't autonomous from his relationship and his career. It's cool that fans want to stan Tom because of his cute "boyfriend" behaviors, but Tom is first and FOREMOST an A-C-T-O-R. An actor should be admired for their career and their WORK, NOT their relationship. The relationship is just the icing on the cake (imo). 🤷🏾‍♀️

I think the problem is that some stans are mainly associating Tom with his relationship, and aren't really giving credit to his career and his work. That's demoralizing imo. Any actor that you are a fan of should be admired primarily because of their work. Who they are as a person, and any "boyfriend" behavior is like secondary and just icing on the cake imo. Granted, you're not going to be a "stan" over every good actor out here, and I get it. But Tom isn't some "TV Personality" or "reality star" or "influencer". So his relationship shouldn't be taking precedence over his acting career imo. He's an ACTOR first and foremost. Jmho. 🤷🏾‍♀️

To be fair, Tom isn't taken seriously as an actor. Him doing a play is the best way to be taken seriously cause the theatre is the actors medium

I'm sorry, but I wholeheartedly disagree with this. Tom IS taken seriously in the industry as an actor. He wouldn't have gotten the role in "Cherry", "TCR", "TDATT", Romeo & Juliet, or be considered by Sam Mendes for "1917" if he weren't taken seriously as an actor in Hollywood. He wouldn't have been nominated for a Critic's Choice Award this year if he weren't.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but some of you all really need to get off of FilmBro Twitter and come back to reality.

Pls stan culture is meant to be fun!!! Don't internalise or jump into conclusions or conspiracy due to what you don't know. Judge want you actually know through facts. And get help if you need it.💜

I agree. 😊

Being a fan of someone should be fun! If it's not, then you either need to reevaluate who you're stanning, OR, make adjustments to your viewing habits or expectations of said actor. Jmho

[apollos-olives]

hii if you dont mind and it's not too personal i would love to hear more about your experiences being queer in palestine! do you feel there is a big difference in attitude and education about queerness between diaspora palestinians and those living in palestine, or is it pretty similar? and did you feel like you could be somewhat safely open about it (not that it's ever 100% safe in any place in the world, but yk) sorry if this is invasive, dont feel obligated to answer. it's just that ive only ever seen a rly negative narrative about queer people being heavily persecuted and id love to get viewpoints from people who have actual first hand experience. your blog has been really educational and i love your enthusiasm for palestinian culture <3

i'm so sorry but i'm not very comfortable sharing my own personal experiences. they relate a lot to my personal life and my family and our relationships, and i'm not really comfortable sharing that part of my life online. it's a very good question though, and i appreciate your curiosity. i'm sorry that i can't tell you anything specific, i just want to keep myself more protected and not share a lot about my relationship with my family, especially since my relationship with my queerness relates a lot to my family and their views of it.

i will say though, to answer your other questions, if you asked me if there was a big difference of queer education between the diaspora and the people in palestine a couple years ago, i would've said yes. but now that i think of it? there's not a huge difference actually. i feel like since there is a lot more access to the internet and more education available in palestine and in a lot of places around the world, being educated about queerness is becoming more and more common. i've met a LOT of queer palestinians, from both inside palestine and also out in the diaspora. education is one of our biggest tools for liberation, so i feel like it's very natural that you can find more palestinians that are queer, not just in the disapora but in palestine as well.

if i were to choose which group is more visibly queer, people in palestine or the diaspora, i would choose the diaspora, but only because the diaspora have a bigger chance to be exposed to queerness in the world outside of the middle east and whatnot, and have bigger chances to explore their sexuality more openly than people in palestine. that doesn't mean that the queers in palestine are SUPER repressed or anything, but yes homophobia exists in palestine just like how it exists everywhere else in the world, so queers in palestine have a harder time coming out or expressing themselves authentically. but like. palestinian queers exist 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ everywhere. and like, if i go out in palestine wearing a whole ass rainbow flag with a full face of makeup and a gay ass haircut, will i be hatecrimed?? yeah. but also if i did that in america, i'd be hatecrimed too lol. so palestine isn't special with it's homophobia.

and to bring up the discussion of homonationalism that israel uses to gain consent for genocide, you gotta put things in perspective. like if my entire family got bombed, my people displaced, my limbs amputated, all my people being starved, and the bitches who were bombing me were proudly wearing a gay flag and said that they were using the bombs that killed my entire family "in the name of love" - honestly i would be homophobic too. and that's genuinely why homophobia mostly exists in palestine. that's why my parents are homophobic even- they say that israel is full of queers who are bombing us. and like... are they wrong though?? israel is using the gay community as an excuse to commit crimes against my people. if any sort of group of people, no matter if they were a minority, committed genocide against you, wouldn't you hate them too? that's basically the situation in palestine. and yes it's not justified to be homophobic, but again, queer education isn't as available in palestine as it is in other places. often times people don't realize that queerness is being used as a weapon. you gotta put everything in perspective, yk??

i hope this was interesting to you at least a little bit. sorry i couldn't answer every question fully.

[ckret2]

*pulls up a chair, turns it backwards, and straddles it with my arms casually resting on the back*

Hi guys. We're gonna talk about vore. In a serious and non-judgmental manner. For five minutes we'll treat it like it's not a joke kink. Thanks.

So something not all of you know about me is I'm asexual; and something probably even less of you know about me is that I'm the kind of asexual who's fascinated by sexuality and kink, like an anthropologist studying a culture with norms and beliefs that are foreign to me. I'm intrigued by what makes people's sexualities tick and what it is that appeals to them about kinks that outsiders see as bizarre or completely incomprehensible.

I maintain a strict "we don't kinkshame here" policy; I'm personally disinterested in but comfortable discussing niche kinks ranging from inflatable pool toys to the earlier-mentioned oculolinctus; and I know that when I have a writing question like "what does poop taste like" oftentimes the most detailed and helpful information will come from people with fetishes that make most of the Internet gasp in horror, and I deeply appreciate their invaluable contributions.

So when I express surprise that I got someone into vore, it's because I have a specific idea about what vore entails that comes from—you guessed it—seeing lots of vore art.

From what I've witnessed, in most cases, it takes more than just "eroticized cannibalism" to make a work "vore." Like if two cannibals are having a sexually-charged dinner over a delicious homecooked meal that we know was once human, there is something kinky going on here, and the cannibalism—the knowledge of a life ended, the taboo, the horror—is part of that kinkiness; but if you ask how many people are engaged in this sexual encounter, the automatic answer is "two," the couple eating. Not "three." The meal isn't humanized. It's an edible sex toy, a prop. It's meat.

To my mind, "erotic cannibalism" isn't "vore" until the meal is a person. That doesn't just mean giving them dialogue; but treating them as a participant in the sexual encounter. Either the subject from whose perspective we are to view the encounter, or the object of desire on whom our erotic gaze is meant to linger.

Think of it this way: if you replace the human meat with beef, is it now just a story about eating steak? Then it's not vore. On the other hand, does it now inherently become a story about eating an anthro cow, because the "beef" had enough personhood that you can't consider it "just" a cow? That's vore.

Consuming a human(oid) body doesn't constitute vore, but rather consuming a human(oid) life. A consciousness—an identity—must be swallowed. If that's missing from the encounter (say, if someone is devoured but their personhood is ignored by the creator as irrelevant; or if parts of a person are consumed, but their seat of identity—their mind, their soul—remains undevoured), then to me it's not yet vore. It's "just" cannibalism.

And so—by my own understanding of vore—I've never written vore.

But like on the other hand I have written about a cannibal who gets off to biting off chunks of his lover's flesh because he fantasizes about consuming his still-beating heart to make his beloved a part of himself; so like, okay, sure, let's be real here, I've gotten close enough to count.

The fact that it doesn't "feel" like vore to me until a life (as opposed to mere flesh) has been swallowed doesn't mean that to other people what I've written won't hit the same buttons that vore hits for them—because the edges of any one person's sexuality are nothing if not nuanced and blobby and blurry and no two people's ideas of what gets them off (and thus no two people's ideas of what makes for a specific kink) will ever be exactly the same.

All of which is to say:

Yeah I was genuinely surprised when somebody said I got them into vore lmao, legitimately my first reaction was "how tf did I get somebody into a kink I myself don't have?" BUT the fact that I can "feel" a hard dividing line between "vore" and "horny cannibalism that isn't vore" doesn't mean that other people feel it's there. It's interesting and enlightening to hear that for somebody, there is no difference in what I wrote, and I did actually, genuinely introduce them to a kink I don't see myself as sharing. I think it's kinda neat.

(So, anon who wrote in, if you're still around: I hope my surprise didn't come across as derision! I was genuinely fascinated to hear that. And I do appreciate getting this random opportunity to talk about unusual kinks on main.)

Okay, lecture over, class dismissed. Y'all can go about your day.