#you don’t have to be at church or go to one
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sanarsi · 2 days ago
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Library
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This is a collection of my favorite works that I would love to have on my shelf. Ongoing updates. Please support the creators because they deserve it. If you like any work — leave a comment and reblog. Believe me, they notice it :)
Oberyn Martell
Javier Peña
Just Friends by @pedrospatch
You’re planning to have sex for the first time and you’re nervous—Javi offers to show you a thing or two, but just as friends of course.
gonna make you sweat by @mypoisonedvine
he's your dad's best friend, he's a narc, he's the guy you've been calling 'tio' most of your life… so he's not the guy you want to run into when you're out partying a little too hard.
javi having an only fans by @gothcsz
You can be my daddy by @thesummerpetrichor
Father in law!Javier Peña x afab!fem!reader
Your soon to be husband leaves you at the alter, but you should have guessed since the practice seemed to run in the family. It’s hard to be upset however, when his father comes to repent for not only his own but son’s wrong doings. Aka fiancé’s dad Javi fucking you in your wedding dress after his son ditches you at the altar.
javi when he's arresting you by @gothcsz
Jack Daniels
Playing pretend by @bluebeary-jay
a simple mission turns out to be quite a challenge when you find out that you're partnered with Jack Daniels. oh, and that you have to pretend to be in love with each other. easy? not at all.
Frankie Morales
The First Time by @fettuccin-e
Size kink
Tag-Teaming by @fettuccin-e
Frankie "Catfish" Morales x Reader x Santiago "Pope" Garcia
Kinktober Day 5: Threesome
acts of service by @tonysopranosrobe
an unexpected admission leads frankie to make you an offer you can't refuse. this surely won't come with any consequences. OR you've never had your pussy ate and your best friend frankie helps you out.
The Real Deal by @strang3lov3
Frankie uses his tongue to demonstrate why he’s less than impressed with your rose toy.
As Long As I Want by @fettuccin-e
Din Djarin
Fifteen Minutes by @whocaresstillthelouvre
Din Djarin x Cam Girl Reader AU
Being a cam girl isn't as exciting as people think it is, that is until a mystery of a deep voiced man asks you what makes a woman feel good.
spent by @pedropeach
you're a prostitute and din pays you for your services.
Just This Once by @fettuccin-e
Kinktober Day 18: Squirting + Dacryphilia
Marcus Moreno
Dieter Bravo
your favorite kryptonite by @kedsandtubesocks
Comic Bookstore Owner!Dieter Bravo x F!Reader
you think it should be illegal for someone this hot to work at your favorite comics & fandom shop
Joel Miller
is it that sweet? by @pedropeach
you probably shouldn't let some random middle aged man on the beach take nude photos of you, right? right?
the body of christ by @studioghibelli
running from a past life full of alcohol, drugs, and sex, joel miller sought repentance through the priesthood. all was going fine and dandy, until one fateful day, you found yourself in his church.
‘my girl now. by @psychedelic-ink
joel is used to asshole clients, and when one of them calls him an old man and basically demands him to finish his girlfriend's kitchen in time, he expects you to be the same. But you're the opposite. when he learns how you've been treated, he comes up with a plan to get back at your boyfriend.
BITING DOWN by @psychedelic-ink
body piercer!joel miller x f!reader
you finally go and get your nipples pierced.
What you're missing by @toxicanonymity
dark!Joel x f!Reader
noncon somnophilia
the devil you do. by @studioghibelli
they say the devil has a tongue of silver. on the night he visits you for the first time, you learn that he really does.
Rotten by @alltheirdamn Part I Part II Part III
cowboy!joel x f!reader
Sharing land with Joel Miller has always been infuriating, but when your bad attitude finally gets his attention…things get messy.
run by @pedrospatch
Raider!Joel Miller x Female Reader
When you’re given the chance to run from your captor, you don’t take it.
Something Bad by @fettuccin-e
Kinktober Day 20: Corruption
sea spray & seashells & sandcastles by @ace-turned-confused
dbf!joel miller x f!reader
a relaxing weekend break by the sea is just what you need, but spending it under the same roof as joel miller might not be the kind of relaxing you had in mind
flesh for fantasy by @syd-djarin
Joel puts on a pair of pretty panties for you.
every man gets his wish by @joelsmochi
joel discovers his next door neighbor makes porn in her spare time. once she's confronted, she finds out that he has an interest in helping create content ;)
You wanted this (series) by @alwaysmicado
Joel and you have a fun dynamic going. You provoke him, he punishes you - you both get off. When you meet him after you’ve fucked someone else, he decides to show you who you belong to. It’s all fun and games, right?
SWEET CHERRY by @aurorawritestoescape
Joel takes your virginity. Gently, slowly, talking you through it.
Safety First by @strang3lov3
While camping, Joel insists on thoroughly checking you for ticks. Safety first, after all.
Caught In The Act by @mermaidgirl30
Thinking you’re home alone, you decide to unwind in bed, but the last thing you expect is to have Joel Miller, the man you’re renting a room from, find you naked in bed.
Marcus Acacius
Lucien Flores
Reed Richards
Other Characters
be my baby by @cavillscurls
logan howlett x f!reader
logan fucks you in your sundress.
good luck, babe! by @studioghibelli
abby anderson x reader
your boyfriend has been cheating on you. when you confront the woman he’s been seeing, she offers you a proposition.
Nightcall by @alwaysmicado
Marc Spector x f!reader
Marc is a bad habit you can’t shake.
Perfect Fit (series) by @ivystoryweaver
Nathan Bateman from Ex Machina x f!reader
You are Nathan's employee and are staying at his secluded home for experimental android purposes. Shenanigans ensue. Like - two Nathans shenanigans.
The Empty Room by @reallyrallyauthor
Nathan Bateman
Nathan uses his genius to give you a gift
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bitchesgetriches · 2 days ago
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Confessions of a Thanksgiving Lunatic: Why I Spend $500 Hosting Every Year
Thanksgiving is the best American holiday. Wake up, you Christmas-loving sheeple.
Unlike many holidays, there is no specific religious connotation. No one expects you to go to church or nothin’. There are no expensive presents to buy, no weird social roles to perform, no mandatory displays of patriotism.
Nope, Thanksgiving at its core is about two things: food and gratitude.
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And yeah, I guess it marks some kind of anniversary of the beginning of European colonization of the Americas, and the genocide/diaspora of native Americans… but fuck the pilgrims. Nobody besides grade school pageant coordinators cares about the pilgrims and their stupid buckles and their stupid genophobia.
Harvest festivals and autumn feasts are an ancient part of the rich tapestry of the human experience. It makes perfect sense that before the killing cold of winter comes, we hold each other tight and stuff our faces, thankful for the things we have today that may be gone tomorrow.
After my disastrous solo Turkey Day, I vowed to never let Thanksgiving pass in such a depressing manner again—for myself, or anyone else. I spent two years with friends’ families (HOLLER ATCHA, PIGGY’S MOM) before striking out to host my own.
So now, each year I host a large mix of friends, friends of friends, and semi-random strangers. Between my ambitious menus, huge guest list, labyrinthine food allergies, and freely flowing alcohol, I easily spend $500 on the event.
And although it’s financially indefensible, I don’t regret it at all.
Keep reading.
Did we just help you out? Say thanks on Patreon!
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cjlouwho · 9 hours ago
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Do you have any headcanon about Rocker interaction with Deacon's kids????
Full disclosure, I’m on season 4 so I don’t know what the kids are like presently or if they’re present at all lol
Rocker is really good with the kids because when he’s not working (and sometimes when he is) he’s a kid at heart himself. The older two really struggle in the beginning because suddenly their parents are getting divorced, and their dad is moving out of the house and dating another man. They’re also old enough to understand the whispers and rumors they hear at church, so they learn about the affair and how long he was going behind their backs to be with Rocker.
And they knew Rocker already from parties and stopping by to visit dad at work, and he was always really fun and cool with them. Would run around and play games and even teach them some boxing. So it feels like an extra punch to the gut that he’s also the man taking them from their dad.
Eventually they do come around, especially once they realize he has no intention of “parenting” them. He’s someone who makes them pancakes, listens to problems they have without judgement, loves to watch movies and commentate through them, will bite the head off of their bullies, and has the greatest comebacks of all time. The kids also realize that their dad seems happier than ever, and their mom seems happier too after a while.
They also learn he’d do anything in the world for them when they’re out one day and a man makes crude remarks and grabs at Lila. Rocker reaches out and nearly breaks the man’s hand as he dares him to try it again.
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fanofstuff01 · 16 hours ago
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We don’t have enough Lucifer angst in the Adamsapple church. It’s mainly Lucifer comforting Adam and don’t get me wrong I absolutely LOVE that, but.. Come on that man is a gold mine of angst.
The guy doomed and got thrown out of his only home, and away from his only family. (I’m not going into depth here I tried a few times and it always ended up being a rant lol)
For who? His wife yeah keep it in mind.
Oh and also at the same time he ruined the entire humanity and their chance at living in paradise, and literally created Hell. Not the place, from what we do know now, but the concept. He created the eternal punishment for souls that maybe, maybe would now be in Heaven if he didn’t touch them.
And since this is MY Adamsapple he also ruined Adam and Eve. Or at least, he thinks that way, after all those years. Even just the tiny sting of it, there’s still a self blame there again.
Again for his wife.
THEN, when Heaven came up with a solution to a possible rebellion, what did he do? Allowed them to kill any sinner. Why? -Well we don’t actually know it but this is already going to tie into an impossible ship shut up- He wanted to protect his family. And also was so disgusted and disappointed in what he gave to humans, what they decided to do with his gift.
Then, what happened? He disappointed his only child because of the desicion, causing her to go away too.
AND THEN, his wife, who may I remind you he damned an entire species for, went ahead and left him. We don’t know why yet but she seems pretty chill in the Heaven’s beaches.
But what we do know is, Lucifer 1000% feels guilt and blames himself for driving her away too. For losing everything he lost everything for.
And on top of all of it he lost the respect he had in Hell and his authority as a King, not to mention the only sort of friends he had (probably) again, because of what? None other than the Devil himself.
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That guy hates himself and needs someone who also does to comfort him.
Preferably that someone is the one he ruined the most back then without even knowing the full length and story.
Ehe
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the-jennisms · 3 days ago
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I have said in multiple posts that I greatly dislike Varric going after Solas and that it doesn’t make sense for the Inquisitor to send Varric.
That said. I can see Varric wanting to go.
And it all comes back to Anders.
Veilguard’s spoilers ahead!
I’ve seen some people upset that Varric seems like a bottomless well of forgiveness for Solas but spoke with so much contempt about Anders. And I get why people would be upset at something that appears to be a contradiction but the way I understand Varric, the only reason that I could see him going after Solas, is because of Anders.
When we see Varric in Inquisition, the mage rebellion is in full swing. It’s been a few years since Anders betrayed all his friends. Lied to them, used them, and caused them all to have to run from Kirkwall. Varric’s home. The only place he wants to be. And Varric is still bitter as hell. Understandably. I was angry and bitter too. (I romanced Anders and he tricked me into blowing up a church. Fuck the chantry but still)
We hear Varric say a few unkind things at Anders expense in Inquisition but again, I feel that Varric has a right to feel angry and betrayed. Varric is surrounded by reminders of what Anders did. So many people dead, dying, starving, suffering.
Now we don’t see this next bit, we see Varric in Inquisition then Varric on the hunt for Solas. Not so much the middle but. So unless Varric says something that contradicts any of this in the comics or whatever, thes are my thoughts about how Varric gets from point a to b.
First and foremost, Varric doesn’t just blame Anders. As more and more time goes by, he blames himself. We do see this in Inquisition. He blames himself for uncovering corypheus, for the lyrium dagger, for Hawke in danger.
But over time, I think he’d start blaming himself more and more for Anders. Beyond just him introducing Anders to Hawke.
Because he knew Anders was spiraling. They all knew. And no one did anything to help. Not really. He bribed thugs to keep them away from Anders’ clinic, he tried to help him engage with elaborate ‘revenge fantasies’ as a way to blow off steam, tried to be his friend. But he didn’t do anything.
He knew Anders was getting worse. And he didn’t stop it. None of them did. They all ignored it until it was too late.
Now this isn’t fair to Varric, There isn’t much Varric himself could have done to help Anders. What does Varric know about separating a mage and a spirit? Curing an abomination? Basically nothing.
But feelings don’t have brains. Varric didn’t help his friend when he knew Anders needed it.
Dragon Age Veilguard’s main themes are about regret. And the reason Varric goes after Solas is, appropriately enough, because of his.
He failed last time. He failed Anders.
And now he sees another friend, spiraling. About to do something awful because they’ve convinced them self that it’s the only way. The same pattern. Hauntingly familiar. More urgency is added to this if the Inquisitor is in love with Solas, if Hawke loved Anders.
I never got quite the same feeling of friendship between Varric and the Inquisitor throughout most of Inquisition because Varric saw them as larger than life. More of a legend than a person. We do catch a glimpse of a more friendly relationship in Trespasser, when he’s spoiling the shit out of them like he does with all his friends. His relationship with the Inquisitor is different, but they are friends.
Varric’s desire to convince Solas to stop exists regardless of the Inquisitor’s resolve. But in the case of a Lavellan that loves Solas? It adds a whole new layer to Varric’s decision to try. Because he sees another friend friend suffering and knows she misses him.
And this time Varric would be desperate not to fail.
This time he’d do more. This time he won’t ignore the problem. This time things will be different.
And he fails.
Or he succeeds.
That depends in you, the player. It depends on Rook.
If you manage to get Solas to stop. To reunite with the Inquisitor, Varric wins. The only reason Rook could have done all this to begin with is because Varric got them there. Varric saved his friend. It cost him, but he did it. And he knew it could cost him.
On the way to the ritual site he something to the effect of ‘if we fight Solas, we’re all dead’ He knows he can’t fight Solas into submission. All he can do is try to talk. And even then. He knows.
“Take care of the team for me.”
He fucking knew. He’s not stupid.
He knew. But he wanted to save Solas. To help the inquisitor. To save the world he loves, because the people he loves live in it.
I’ve gotten 3 of Veilguard’s endings so far.
The one where you trick Solas, and the two redeem endings. I’m not bothering with the fight one.
While the trick ending feels an appropriate and karmic punishment for Solas, I cant have that be my ending.
Because of Varric.
I can’t let him die for nothing. His last wish, denied.
So that bald bitch is getting put it the path to redemption even if I have to drag his pretentious ass kicking and screaming. He’s gonna spend the rest of eternity protecting the world that Varric loved. Warts and all.
Now, as I said earlier. This is just my interpretation of Varric, your mileage may vary. But this is how I see it, as far as Varric’s role in Veilguard and how I feel Anders was a pivotal player in Varric’s choices.
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gaiuskamilah · 3 days ago
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pleeeeeaaaase tell me more about aerin being groomed by the dreadlord !!! (analyses, headcanons, anything you want)
minor spoilers for b3 ahead! also cw for discussions of grooming and canon-typical abuse, a brief mention of rape, mentions of books where rape & grooming are big topics (lolita & my dark vanessa). this got really long lol
so it's pretty much established that aerin was already very much isolated from people at a young age due to a number of factors, his fear of and abuse by baldur (and arlan) being the primary reason for that. he was also a meek and shy child who wasn't as popular in court compared to baldur. aurinae also died early in aerin's life, leaving him without the one figure who actually cared about him.
all this contributes to aerin being extremely vulnerable to the dreadlord. (minor spoiler) in b3 aerin mentions that he was nine when the dreadlord first started speaking to him. when you're a young vulnerable child like him, it's easy to fall prey to someone who seems like they have your best interests at heart. his family was either dead or resented him, he's the spare who people don't care about - the dreadlord's promises sound really good! we only got little of the dreadlord himself throughout the books, but i like to think the dreadlord did not actually care about him, only using him as a means to an end as he was a vulnerable child in a position the dreadlord can exploit.
(spoiler) aerin also mentions that the nerada stone was given to him after an incident where he accidentally used shadow, and that most shadow magic was done with the dreadlord's help. to me, the giving of the nerada stone is like a predator going "don't tell anyone, it's our little secret, okay?" i like to think this little secret between the two of them makes aerin feel special, and wanting for more, even if keeping the secret very physically hurts him (as mentioned in b1). what a lot of people don't seem to understand is that a lot of the times groomers make their victims feel special, and that causes a lot of mixed feelings from the POV of the victim. they do genuinely start to love their abusers, and from that line of thinking i like to think that aerin similarly has complicated feelings for the dreadlord (as does nia have for the temple of light, kamilah & adrian for gaius, etc etc).
with all this done i also like to build more on the idea of aerin's isolation. another thing that tends to be ignored is how the structures around the victim actually assist in perpetuating and providing avenues for the abuse to happen. in lolita (i keep mentioning this book on my blog, lolitapilled forever i fear), humbert tells dolores that she has nowhere else to go, that if she reported it to authorities etc they would shame her and mark as rotten forever and insitutionalize her and she'd never have a normal life ever again -
“While I stand gripping the bars, you, happy neglected child, will be given a choice of various dwelling places, all more or less the same, the correctional school, the reformatory, the juvenile detention home, or one of those admirable girls’ protectories where you knit things, and sing hymns, and have rancid pancakes on Sundays. ... if we two are found out, you will be analyzed and institutionalized, my pet, c’est tout. You will dwell, my Lolita will dwell (come here, my brown flower) with thirty-nine other dopes in a dirty dormitory (no, allow me, please) under the supervision of hideous matrons. ... Don’t you think that under the circumstances Dolores Haze had better stick to her old man?”
which he isn't exactly wrong about! if aerin had opened up to the people around him about what was going on, what would they do? if he went to his family, they'd shun and hate him even more. if he went to the temple, they'd brand him a heretic and also shame him even more (minor spoiler again-in b3, this is what is implied to have happened to nia). none of these institutions, the family & the church, would have ever had his well being at heart. they are the same institutions which shunned (family) him in the first place and would have shunned (church) him anyway because he didn't and wouldn't have been able to live to their ideals. again, family and religion aren't ontologically pure things - they're institutions which often exist to perpetuate the status quo.
that's to say that i personally hc that aerin has a lot of mixed feelings for the dreadlord. taking this line from my dark vanessa (also a book i love so much) -
“It only accelerated after that, once he knew I was ok with it—and isn’t that what consent is, always being asked what you want? Did I want him to kiss me? Did I want him to touch me? Did I want him to fuck me? Slowly guided into the fire—why is everyone so scared to admit how good that can feel? To be groomed is to be loved and handled like a precious, delicate thing.”
the thing is, aerin did want the things the dreadlord seemed to promise. no one else was left to treat him nicely. he loved that the dreadlord could give him the power to change his circumstances. and it felt good! he admits in b2 that he didn't regret killing baldur! him wanting that doesn't make him any less of a victim, but i think a lot of discussions around this tend to overlook this feeling, because it's a lot less easier to swallow than the typical Huge Evil Perpetrator/100% Unwilling Victim narrative that tends to get pushed around a lot. (i also don't like how people seem to be assigning morality to grooming. anyone can be groomed, and acting like the victims always have to conform to this perfect standard does not help at all actually)
so. anyway. i'd love more things/discussions about aerin and an interpretation where his feelings for the dreadlord are more complicated. where he accepts that the dreadlord took advantage of him, but he also can't find it in himself to FULLY hate the dreadlord, that sometimes he misses the dreadlord, sometimes he can't stand to remember how the dreadlord physically hurt him for over a decade in order to keep their little secret (can be read as a rape, imo, though it's not as overt as the dreadlord literally taking nia's body, which @puredoesnotmeankind @livelaughlovecassie and i like to read it as). the dreadlord potentially holding the fact that he was the one who's helping and "caring for" aerin over aerin's head. complicated feelings!! messy interpretations that are more true to complex human feelings and whatnot. i'd love that.
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nyny-213 · 2 years ago
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Good Friday. We remember the reason we have eternal life today. That Jesus died for us on the cross. Took an extremely painful death. A death every single one of us deserved and did it for us to have everlasting life with the Father. It’s sad to know we were the cause of His death. But encouraging to know that because of that death we can be forgiven of all our sins if we accept Him as the savior. Because of Him we can now have everlasting life. So whenever you feel down, feel hopeless, feel discouraged. Remember what this day means. Remember this as the truth. And remember the truth will set you free.
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doctorsiren · 3 months ago
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he’s mad she ratted him out
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nuppu-nuppu · 1 year ago
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Ignore if you don’t want to read about me being stupid once again
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leonardalphachurch · 4 months ago
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sometimes i remember that most north fans don’t write him as an absolute insane person ethical manipulative girlfriend style and i’m like. what is he even then… just a pleasant white man? you know what. more power to you if you need a pleasant white man for a blorbo but god that could not be me
#most ppl write north as just like. a nice person i think.#i know him though. i know him.#like nork is SUCH a popular ship (at least like. historically) and every time i see it i go ‘haha that would never work’#and then i remember. oh right most ppl write these guys as like. just kind of decent dudes.#nork to me is like. worlds first ethical manipulative girlfriend (not actually ethical) x worlds first manic pixie dream Nice Guy#who both have literally no identity of their own and sure aren’t actually giving each other one#they’d be so miserable…#constant battle of ‘can’t you see what a sacrifice i’m making for you’#neither of them would ever admit anything was wrong. they both think they can fix it forever#just slowly falling apart. it’s fine :) they’re fine :)#n\orkington is even more baffling#i genuinely couldn’t even imagine the dynamic there#like i know it’s pfl uwu baby wash but even still#he’d be so miserable they’d treat him like shit ToT#oh god north/wash. wash run. WASH RUN.#noooo wash my little chameleon you can’t stay with him he’s going to make you his baby bird#he wouldn’t even realize ToT he wouldn’t even know why he’s unhappy. oh god. wash RUNNNNNNN#i just don’t think north should be in a relationship basically#‘what about churchnorth’ okay. let’s be real. do we really think church should be being in a relationship???#their toxicity perfectly cancels each other out into like. something that’s actually good for both of them#wraps all the way back around. horseshoe theory.#okay this has turned into pure rambling. it’s 4am
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adrienschat · 8 months ago
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*screaming on the top of my lungs* that’s not what Jesus would have wanted
(Venting in tags)
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zeb-z · 2 years ago
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bo katan living the far too relatable experience of pretending to be religious for family or extended relations to keep the waters calm. when everyone else around says amen This Is The Way with conviction and she can quietly get away with not saying it. it’s like when you have to go to church for some holiday dinner - you just smile, nod your head, and take extra care to say gosh instead of god
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autumnhobbit · 10 months ago
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I’m gonna be real with you guys, I kind of dread the idea of trying to raise any future kids in this church
#and it’s not because i don’t believe the faith. obvs i do#but like in practice i’m either going to be going by myself or with my mom & siblings or whoever#i don’t have any friends my age so idk how i’m gonna find good friends for future kids#and obvs i want them to have good friends#i do believe in the virtues of friendship and believe it’s an important thing for people to experience and work at#but also i’ve had a lot of heartbreak in friendship and have a complicated relationship with it#and when i think back on my own childhood in churches it was always so turbulent#both because my family didn’t gel with the cultures/ideals of so many parishes#and because my dad made enemies everywhere we went (for obvious reasons but still)#that wasn’t us kids’ fault#but it didn’t matter#i thought i had adults to look up to in faith#but i have literally none i have a close relationship with#and even the ones i respect that doesn’t mean they’re good around kids#or would like hanging out with me#and i don’t want just any random person thinking because they’ve talked to me a couple times#that they get say in the close intimate decisions or issues i have with my spouse or children#the whole thing is strange tbh#like i don’t even want to have a close relationship with some priests even if i respect them or like them#and too many priests think that just cause they see you once a week they know you and should have a say in things they know nothing about#idk man catholicism in america and maybe the world is just. so hard nowadays.
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folksy · 3 months ago
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my freshman year of college I was approached by members of this christian group on my campus and I hung out with them even tho I’m an atheist because they reached out to me first and I was open to hanging out with them as I needed new friends and honestly initially had fun hanging out with them. before the semester had started there was someone I met on a roommate site that I was going to room with but my university ended up putting us in singles by each other. I had invited them to hang out with me and this group and they weren’t like me and couldn’t easily say no to their advances to going to church stuff and I still feel bad about it years later. and I especially now see how these groups try to recruit loners or new students who don’t really have friend yet into their community which if I was a christian I’m sure would’ve seemed great but alas christianity is about trying to covert others to your religion and I was not about that
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zonotrichia-albicollis · 4 months ago
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Giant personal vent time
This guy stole somewhere between 3 to 6 MILLION dollars from my grandmother by conning my great aunt into signing over her estate and medical & financial power of attorney to him literally on her death bed
I and my aunt have been working basically a whole second job the last 3 months trying to get together a legal case to go after this guy. And now my grandma wants to drop it. And no one else has standing so what the fuck can we do.
This man has absolutely done this to other ppl before, there is no doubt in my mind. I’ve seen his property records for just what’s publicly available in my county and it’s sketchy as hell. I am never going to get over this but there’s nothing I can do.
Gonna put like a million more thoughts in the tags because I’m losing my fucking mind.
#it’s not like we don’t have the money#the estimated legal fees are like $100k but we’d definitely get it back from the estate in the end#but grandma doesn’t want to look like she’s going after her sister’s money#and she won’t admit she has dementia so I’m not allowed to tell the lawyer that she can’t handle testifying#so he just thinks we’re being wishy washy#and my aunt is so conflict avoidant she won’t tell the lawyer anything that’s happening that he could absolutely be helping with#and my dumbass step cousin is so conflict avoidant he’d literally rather let the family business go bankrupt than actually deal with this#why the fuck did she make him ceo#I know why she trusted this guy but jfc whyyyy did she trust him#god if only I had a time machine I’d go back 6 months and make sure we kicked him out of her house#I really really didn’t think he’d go this far. I just thought he was a weird dude she was being too nice to#but no. actual con artist#the more we learn the worse it gets#and grandma just cannot handle it. even though she has the money!! I’m so mad#I wanna email every reporter I can think of until I find someone willing to publish an article about this guy#so that at least that way someone would see how fucking sketchy he is when they Google him#so that maybe the next person won’t fall for it#is there some kind of legal action you can take that’s basically just like#hey we’re not willing to spend years to prove that you’re evil#but just for the record we need everyone to know you suck and we hate you#like just so ppl know#maybe I should ask our pastor to send out a PSA to all the other little old ladies at church#since that’s how my great aunt met him in the first place#I could get at least 3 good books out of all the drama in my fucking family I think#one for this whole thing. one for my dad’s insane parents. and one for all the bad decisions I made in Seattle
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lightblueminecraftorchid · 1 year ago
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How to explain that going to church makes me hurt and angry, but not going to church makes me sad and depressed.
#I need to go to Mass. I need to get over the anxiety mental block and just go.#blue chatter#it’s just. I’ve only gone a couple times this semester and every time has left me feeling more empty and hurt than when I walked in#and I know Mass is more than just how you feel. and that it matters that I am there where God calls me to be#I know.#I wish nobody there knew me so they wouldn’t be so worried and ask questions about where I’ve been#it’s like. I cannot possibly explain to my church friends why I haven’t been showing up.#it’s not even scrupulosity anymore it’s just. I can’t be here. I don’t belong here.#and the new priest is trying *so hard*. I’ve been honest with him about how I’m struggling.#but it’s just. there’s something missing. he wants to include the congregation but fundamentally doesn’t understand what that means.#‘everyone is welcome. No I will not make an effort to include marginalized people. they’re welcome bc they can Walk In The Door.’#and I know it’s not that the church has changed#if anything I’d be having the same issues with the old priest. I’m the one who’s changed.#but instead of spending my Sundays with God I’m just. melting into a puddle of Sad. and that’s not good for my faith life.#I need to do *something*. I just. any time I think of trying a new church i feel exhausted.#God please help me.#I don’t know where to go from here. I don’t want to be alone and miserable and losing touch with my faith
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