nyny-213

[nyny-213]

I think maybe a week ago, I thought I was supposed to pray for my mom. So one day when we were texting she was telling me about her health problems and I kind of texted a prayer throughout the conversation. I then kind of thought I was actually supposed to call her and pray. I didn’t want to do that. Why, different reasons but not really at the same time. One of the reasons is because well praying out loud in front of people makes me uncomfortable. Ik ik, I’m supposed to be uncomfortable but I ignored the feeling. Another reason was because I’m kind of more spiritual than my mom so I didn’t want her to think I was weird. I know it’s wrong and selfish to think like that, no need to beat me up about it. Well everyday I would battle in my head, “should I call her, should I not call her?” I would get two answers each time. Yes and no, a lot of the times it would override each other. I would get close to saying screw it and just calling her but I would feel awful about it like that was wrong. I prayed, prayed and prayed asking for “confirmation” because I wanted to make the right choice. I listened to the more stilling voice but it was also too comfortable and I was kind of like dang. I still waited and finally when I asked again for confirmation my grandma got sick and I didn’t know if it was confirmation or not but I ended up saying screw it. I texted my mom, we talked for a bit and later before the evening was over I prayed a short prayer over her.

Why am I typing this? Here’s why. I’m writing this because it’s absolute nonsense that I had to go through all of that instead of just praying on the phone. It’s nonsense to know that as much as I want to be righteous and do the right thing, no one acknowledges that obeying God actually doesn’t feel good. It actually felt awful before I finally caved and after. It’s bogus of ME to feel this way because God is a great God. He doesn’t deserve rebellion or disdain, or any of that. This is my mother, I’m supposed to love my mother enough to be cool with asking my mom if she needed prayer and to pray over the phone. But instead like a little punk I torture myself mentally into not doing it, only to cave in, not pray good and still feel like trash after.

[nyny-213]

I just got a revelation in psalm 46. The verse where it talks about God’s voice sounding like thunder, which is psalm 46:6. I realized Zeus from Greek mythology is the god of thunder. From what i remembered, he’s the god of the gods. He’s called the father to the gods and men. I realized a parallel to how the Lord is the king of all kings, and the Lord of all lords (revelation 19:16). He’s called the Heavenly Father. He gave the father of many nations title to Abraham and I paralleled it as how God is a father just as much as He is God. Basically I’m saying God is THE creator, and a lot of stuff that we usually don’t think about ties into God. He is the almighty for a reason.

[nyny-213]

I have a confession to make. I do not care for her season 3 dresses. This one is by far one of the best ones but I hate the colors to them. I didn’t want to talk about this one because it’s inspired by the saree and I wanted to be respectful but something in me is just like, put her in an actual saree!!!!! They existed in the regency era I feel like if they wanted to make her more in touch with India wouldn’t having her wear dupattas and sarees be the perfect way to do it?

Plus I really wished they kept her teal color, it’s the perfect way to add to the bridgertom blue.

SIMONE ASHLEY as KATE SHARMA BRIDGERTON | S03E05, Tick Tock

[nyny-213]

I don't know why Chad Charming being adopted is considered to be implausible by some. Cinderella, an orphan, choosing to adopt her firstborn to save him from a childhood like her own is the most in-character thing ever.

[nyny-213]

I actually find it quite pathetic of me and sad of me to be so upset about conservativenism. I saw a post from a pro life page I follow and I immediately thought I guess I have to post it. I couldn’t find it again because the page refreshed. I ended up finding it and reluctantly posted it. I put the word sigh up there honestly to throw people specifically my family who follow me on Instagram off track. Thank the Lord that only my grandma saw it and just ranted a bit about the post because she’s pro choice and left it at that.

I am pro life and I do agree with the abortion is murder statements, however, I never really cared that much. I feel bad because I don’t care all that much but it’s just such a dilemma. This upcoming election is going to be a nightmare.

[nyny-213]

Please and thank you lol

I don’t need a Skip Intro button I need a Skip Sex Scene button

[nyny-213]

Same

I will say it again:

The LGBTQ+ person who asks Christians to "welcome and accept them without telling them they should change" is openly demanding that the Christians change. From being Christians, to being non-Christians.

Because Christ died to save you from who you used to be. When you become a Christian, you're choosing to change from who you were to who He tells you to be. That is Christianity. To tell Christians to stop talking and behaving like that is what they believe is to not only reject Christianity yourself, but demand that they reject it, too.

Do not listen to any influencer, pop culture icon, or person who says to you that Christians do not love LGBTQ+ people, because they say LGBTQ+ people should change who they are.

Christians change who they are. More accurately, they let Christ change who they are. Thats how they became Christians. Truth goes hand in hand with love—it is not opposed to it. But love is not anti-rejection. Love rejects plenty of things. Love rejects hatred, self-focus, and lies.

Don't listen to anyone, "Christian" or otherwise, who tells you different.

[nyny-213]

In light of news:

I don’t like trump. Won’t vote him in. But if you celebrate what happened AT ALL you are just as bad if not worse than any mean thing he’s ever said. NO ONE deserves an attempt on their life.

that’s all I’m saying.

[nyny-213]

Also just want to add that not supporting the LGBTQ+ community doesn’t equal hatred or homophobia. If you have a promiscuous sister and you don’t believe in sleeping around, Christian or not, you are not going to hate her, you are just not supporting her lifestyle, it’s the same for the lgbt community.

Christian’s have done a horrible job on hating people who are apart of the lgbt but know Christ didn’t call us to hate them, He called us to love them.

I will say it again:

The LGBTQ+ person who asks Christians to "welcome and accept them without telling them they should change" is openly demanding that the Christians change. From being Christians, to being non-Christians.

Because Christ died to save you from who you used to be. When you become a Christian, you're choosing to change from who you were to who He tells you to be. That is Christianity. To tell Christians to stop talking and behaving like that is what they believe is to not only reject Christianity yourself, but demand that they reject it, too.

Do not listen to any influencer, pop culture icon, or person who says to you that Christians do not love LGBTQ+ people, because they say LGBTQ+ people should change who they are.

Christians change who they are. More accurately, they let Christ change who they are. Thats how they became Christians. Truth goes hand in hand with love—it is not opposed to it. But love is not anti-rejection. Love rejects plenty of things. Love rejects hatred, self-focus, and lies.

Don't listen to anyone, "Christian" or otherwise, who tells you different.

[nyny-213]

Please Reblog This If It’s Okay To:

Send questions about yourself

Ask questions to/about your characters

Ask about your headcanons 

Send questions about your works (fanfics, art, music, RPs, etc) 

Ask about popular ships/headcanons

Ask about plot ideas you’ve had but haven’t acted upon yet (snippets of AUs, a scenario you wish to write/draw but haven’t gotten to yet)

Questions about other ships/headcanons that aren’t as popular or are rarepairs

Questions or comments about favorite tropes, headcanons, characters, foods, weather, or anything else you are okay in answering!

[nyny-213]

This was said perfectly. I’ve been saying this, he DID NOT want Audrey. Audrey got done dirty, but I feel like we use that cookie spell as a reason to cut Ben slack, he didn’t want Audrey at all. He wanted mal the whole time.

hot take: Ben x Mal is literally “good girl x bad boy” and “I can fix him” but inverted

Ben falls in love w/ Mal right away and quite literally says “I can fix her”

now whether or not she’s into him is a different story

first interaction:

look at the way he looks at her

bonus (when I was searching for photos I saw the first one and I had to)

Audrey at least deserved Ben breaking up with her properly instead of just announcing he loved Mal. Even though he couldn’t because of the cookie, he already had feelings for Mal anyway.

none of the photos are mine

[nyny-213]

Inside out 2 talk again. Spoilers if you haven’t watched ‼️‼️‼️‼️ I loved how when anxiety made Riley have that attack, joy told anxiety to let her go. She was calm, cool and collected about it and anxiety ended up letting go. The crazy thing is that it’s still an attack going on and joy hears this. She breaks the old sense of self, which creates a new sense of self, and she and the rest of the emotions hold it and that’s how Riley calmed down. Sometimes in life, the bad things won’t automatically go away, but God says in psalm 23:4, “even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me, your rod and your staff comfort me”. NLT version. What I just got out of that was that God is with us and when we let it go and let God hold us, that is when we experience freedom.

[nyny-213]

I look back in sadness at a lot of my old posts especially last year because I know why I posted them. A lot of the times I personally posted them because I thought I was doing right by God. I thought I was spreading the gospel and being bold in Christ. In actuality, I was desperate. I didn’t really comprehend God’s love for me, and in a desperate attempt to be happy and secure and stable with my life, I did lots of things and posted lots of things to ease my aching heart and rapid mind. I’ve made plenty posts on here talking about my mental health struggles because no one I know follows me on here and I’m comfortable spilling all my tea. I felt like by being vulnerable I am doing right by God because someone else will see it and be glad because I understand them. I felt like in my own way I was doing something for the kingdom.

[nyny-213]

You did it much better than the movie. I DESPISE her blue braid it made zero sense to me. No seriously zero sense, no other royal does this. Everyone in descendants franchise that is an adult royal has natural hair, why are they experimenting with colored hair all of a sudden? I hated Chloe’s hair for that reason too. They should’ve put blue streaks in their hair if it was that important.

Same thing with red and Bridget or the queen of hearts. I loved Alice and wonderland 1950s version and they should’ve done something with that since they are based on the Disney versions of the cartoon characters. Like a jet black bussdown and red could’ve had like red and black hair would’ve been soooo cute. They ruined it 🤦🏽‍♀️

ROR redesign- Cinderella

i basically combined the og animated dress and Brandys dress from her version of Cinderlla, and then kinda...matured it? i guess? idk but i gave her her braids back and put them into a braided pony tail~ because not every damn character needs colored hair like tfffff

[nyny-213]

Also for inside out 2, why is joy technically the only positive one? Like no one wants to be completely sad, angry, fearful, anxious, embarrassed, envious, bored, or disgusted all the time. It goes back to my post earlier isn’t there other emotions a human experiences that are genuinely positive and stem from joy?

[nyny-213]

I got this thought yesterday. I seen inside out 2 (SPOILER ALERT) ‼️ and I saw the scene where basically the emotions are trying to get to Riley. Joy is on the verge of giving up. She says something that has stuck with me, “maybe this is what happens when you grow up, you feel less joy” notice how there isn’t a backing emotion. The core 5 were Riley’s core emotions, when she grows up she develops new more complex emotions but they are technically all back ups to the core ones. Well besides anger and ennui. Sadness clicks with embarrassment and fear is the core emotion to anxiety. One could argue envy being a more complex emotion to disgust.

Why doesn’t joy have a complex emotion? She’s the core one but why wasn’t there a happy emotion? You can be joyful without necessarily being in a happy situation and you can technically be happy without being joyful.

I say all this because without joy being the main and core emotion, Riley would’ve crumbled. Yes you need the other emotions because you are a human who can’t be happy all the time but I’m more curious than anything about joy.

[nyny-213]

I remember last year, I thought I had to go vegan, lol I don’t even like plant based meat and still learning to like more than just green vegetables yet I thought I was supposed to be vegan. I remember I thought I had to veil my head, so I would look for styles to veil my head. I remember one time I tried to veil my head and pray but it felt so uncomfortable and I would forget and get upset so I ended up not doing that. I remember I always felt like I had to delete my social media, delete my pages and stuff like that. I would literally delete it and then redownload it all 2023 even this year. I remember when the war started happening I was trying to boycott everything and would freak out because no one said if I was still allowed to like Disney stuff, or Mattel stuff. Then being Christian and apparently everything is demonic was rough.

I say all this to say, I did all of those things because I first heard someone else do them. I thought, wow they love God and their lives seem better than my life, or I thought God was using them more than me or they had a better purpose for them than me. I am mostly documenting all the stuff I’ve been experiencing. However, I’m sad that it came to that. Making the wrong decision is one of my biggest fears right now and I encounter it every day. I miss when I felt I was myself. However I don’t want to be “me” I want God to approve of me and accept me. I know He accepted me already but I want to make Him proud. I feel bad that last year I went through so much inner turmoil, I feel worse now knowing that I’m going through inner turmoil and fighting to get my relationship with God back.

There’s so much more I’ve struggled with and so much shame too, however we can talk about it tomorrow love you 🩷