#you deserve a nice one after this
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I fucking. Forgot Halsin. In the temple. After rescuing him.
It took me two long rests to notice halsin i am so sorry i had to awkwardly go back past the Bhaalists like hello me again i forgot my druid Halsin i am so so sorry
#i killed him on accident earlier#and now this#and now i wont even fuck him because Wyll is loyal to Karlach#i hope you enjoy your whittled hole in a tree trunk big guy#you deserve a nice one after this#kawa rambles#bg3
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Cody surrounded by family and the people he loves, because that is what he deserves
#commander cody#obi wan kenobi#anakin skywalker#ahsoka tano#clone trooper jesse#captain rex#clone trooper boil#clone trooper waxer#arc trooper fives#arc trooper echo#coday#cody day 2224#cody my beloved#codywan#cody deserves all the happiness he can get and I think he's the happiest when he's with his family#so here you have a nice time to chill by the beach after a joint mission with 501st#I will learn to design better clothes at some point I promise :'D#these are so stupid#but I didn't want to spend overly long with this one and the multiple characters already gave me a headache hahaha#I love them all so much#fives you'll regret whatever you're going to do#though Anakin's totally there for it#my arts
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Family cuddle
#rote#realm of the elderlings#my art#rote fanart#fitzloved#fitzchivalry farseer#the fool#beloved#bee farseer#assassin's fate#assassin's fate spoilers#fitz and the fool trilogy#fitz and the fool spoilers#rote spoilers#art#illustration#Today it's been exactly one year since I posted my very first rote fanart! So this is something of a redo of that same idea.#That fanart was the first thing I drew after years of not even touching a pen and honestly I was a nervous wreck when I posted it.#But as it turned out. the people in this fandom are incredibly nice and welcoming. so thank you all for always giving me the motivation#to keep practicing and drawing/painting these amazing characters <3#(and sorry for writing a sappy novel in my tags lol)#anyway i will forever be thinking about AUs where these three get to be an actual family. they deserve it
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I keep looking at your design for cheated and just cooing over him like how you do with a cat i love him so much
Thank you so much!!! I hope you don't mind if I use this ask to point out some fun details in my Cheated's design :)
Other Designs: Hunted/Contrarian/Cold/Paranoid/Smitten/Opportunist/Skeptic/Stubborn
Drawings w/out the text over them + my first design for Cheated ever under the cut!
#this was such a nice compliment especially because you sent out of nowhere during a real dry spell of activity for me!#and its what helped motivate me to start drawing more again!#not that i wasnt going to eventually i love these birds too much#but it definitely helped kickstart some more art#i also wanted to answer this after i got through all the cheated related stuff in my inbox because i saw this and was like#“oh you're going to be eating well for a bit then haha”#this was also fun to do#maybe this is how ill show my designs?#one post at a time before i can finally do a full lineup?#starting with cheated is unusual but aw he deserves it#stp#stp voices#ask#my art#voice of the cheated#slay the princess
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Just keep getting back up (Patreon)
#Doodles#Handplates#UT#Fellplates#Gaster#Asgore#The thought of Gaster able to heal himself! Rather to only have himself to rely on in a world that lives to hurt him (and everyone else)#It's an interesting inversion that's for sure#Is it as satisfying if it's not the one who deserves the broken bones? The pain of rejection or of justice retribution punishment?#It's still the same face - and it's not like he's wholly innocent here either#And besides it's always fun to draw tears hee ♪#Get him just a bit disheveled aside from the broken bone - it's hard to imagine him in different clothes even after drawing him in the dress#Softer clothes would be so nice to hold Babybones with but even just dropping a shoulder off his coat or untying his bow tie - it's strange!#I do like the image of his flower crown shedding petals when he gets roughed up tho hehe - tossed around just a little too much!#Breaking his hand right down the middle - it'd be much easier with the holes in his hands as a weak point#All his bones could break easier than his hands before that but now-#It's weird to draw Asgore like that lol I dunno....Works well enough for utility but pffblt :P I always forget his pauldrons anyhow lol#Really rubbing it in that Gaster will be fiiiine he's sooooo special what with his ability to heal >:( Lol#It does make him a bit of a target - a regenerating punching bag? Ideal to see just how far you can push him#It was fun to draw with my green coloured pencil as well ahh <3 Healing magic always gives me a bit of the warm fuzzies#It was the original comic that made me fall in love with Handplates after all ♥ Pretty and feelings <3
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i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…
#the whole setting is jb hanging out in the rock post war#and tyrion became lord of the westerlands / the rock is his but he’s off doing stuff in kingslanding and jaime is just filling in for him#atm . but after tyrion comes back his original plan WAS he’ll get married to brienne right away and they can move back to tarth or be#travelling hedge knights together or whatever brienne wants to do he’s down for it. but the important thing is that he wants to stay with#her .. so he’s using the time they have together currently to court her bc she deserves that at least !!#so jaime goes off trying to court and woo brienne but she just thinks they’re hanging out bc they got relatively close in the war#so jaime being touchy feely isn’t anything new. jaime making innuendos and being kinda flirty isn’t anything new either#but this time he means it LOL he’s like I want to kiss you SO badly and brienne will be like lol silly jaime (:#I was also thinking they’d help rebuild lannisport just bc it’s a time for healing now and it would be good for the people to get to know#jaime and the lannisters in general bc of how they would just used to sit high above the rock looking down on everyone#but now jaime is like. actively helping and being known and being with the people rather than just being that absent distant lord#also he’s thinking he might as well try and foster some relationship with the commoners to his house bc it’s for tyrion anyway#so he’s off doing that and brienne is tagging along bc she does not want to go home yet#she wants to stay with him and she’s helping out as an excuse to stay a little longer but she doesn’t exactly want to leave him#but how do you tell someone that and ignore the big glaring part that she’s actually in love with him and the fact that they both survived#the war is getting her hopeful???? u want her to admit that?? like a normal person??? no..!!#so she’s just staying and helping out bc a) it’s the sensible thing to do b) so she can bask on the sun that is Jaime Lannister#for like a few more days. weeks. maybe a month bc the weather is soooo bad in the stormlands rn 🙄😳#anyway jb hanging out! and everything is going well and good but jaime is now getting popular w the people and he’s also looking quite#rugged and handsome post war now that he’s thirty flirty and thriving and he also has a new scar across his lip that makes his#smirks even more ! rogueish … ! and he looks quite nice with the greying hair 👀 so now there’s gossips around him#not to mention he’s single too and I think if you were one of the heroes who helped win the war they’ll forget the kingslaying#man with no honor business so lo and behold brienne eavesdrops a group of ladies bc she’s a chismosa at heart and they’re talking about a#potential marriage for a lord lannister (!!!) and there’s going to be a big tourney held in Kingslanding for it (!!!)#and brienne remembers jaime mentioning the ought to go to Kingslanding in the next few weeks (!!!) and now she’s remembering jaime IS a#lord though not theee lord of the westerlands STILL a lord from one of the seven houses and he’s single and very eligible for marriage rn#and now she’s realising everything is returning back the way it was before the war where society rules matters and she has her own role as#now the evenstar bc rip selwyn and jaime has his own role too and the court is a whole different battlefield#one that she isn’t equipped in and even though she had found some new confidence in herself bc killing a bunch of ice invisible zombies#with your own magic sword will do that for you she doesn’t think (and she’s being objective not negative) she stands a chance in THAT
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this “woman” he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)“ and I'd be like ”good for them?“ ”stop“#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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2009 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix - Sebastian Vettel
#i went on a rant last seb win about how the camerawork was so good: this one too!!!#he looks glorious this race what else needs to be said???????#THE WAY HIS EYES SPARKLE!!!!!#i will never get over this era of rbr racesuits. just the navy blue with the red lining is gorgeous to me#i could really wax poetic about their 2009-2012 racesuits. def my fav designs in color and form etc#haha you can tell when ive watched a seb win race bcs its gotta be at least 2 posts maybe 3#i cant help it!! hes my baby waby!! he deserves as many posts as i can possibly make#this is vaguely unhinged but its been nice to see his hair grow out from a buzzcut to this length throughout the season#hes very relatable. him and I do the same hair routine which i call 'the sheep'. when you cut it every once in a while after growing it out#but this and maybe a bit longer is the ideal seb hair length. he just looks soooo pretty and angelic to me <333#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#formula one#2009 abu dhabi gp#sv5#we do a little bit of f1#season: 2009
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I have a groundbreaking concept.
A wedding episode/story where nothing unusual goes wrong (or even NEARLY goes wrong) and the audience and characters both just get to enjoy this big event without it going off the rails at any point.
#this is not inspired by any particular case just by my general grumpiness with the way Wedding Episodes seem to pan out#i don't WANT something to go dramatically wrong! i don't want the wedding to be called off or end up cobbled together out of the wreckage!#this should be a great opportunity to show your characters' bonds and love for each other--both in the pairing and the community around the#also i just hate seeing people's hard work and plans wrecked and do you know how much work goes into a wedding??#i WANT to see the dress and the cake and the flowers and the reception that they worked so hard on actually come to fruition#but probably most of all and especially. weddings ARE supposed to be the start of a Happily Ever After and if you've done your job right#then the characters getting married should have MERITED that#the plot can continue after sure. but i want them to get One Nice Day for the start of their new life. marriage deserves celebration#and domesticity! marriage deserves the domesticity of an episode where everyone successfully enjoys a really nice party after the wedding!
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Bruce should kill the Joker because he created the Joker. Batman is the one that chased him into ace chemicals which resulted in him falling into the acid and the Joker is obsessed with Batman. We’ve seen (at least in one DC movie) that the Joker just stops being the Joker when Bruce dies. Could this all have happened without Batman? Yes and then it would be someone else’s problem but right now Joker is a monster of Batman’s creation and he should be the one to end him.
On your same logic should it also be on Joker's parents since they also created him, or maybe on the government / social systems since they were the ones that failed joker to begin with and made him turn to a life of crime ? If anyone has the legal right in America to kill the joker it would be the criminal justice system so why dont they sentence joker to death? Bruce hands joker off to the local authorities every other week shouldnt it be their responsibility at that point to keep joker incarcerated until he can be deemed no longer a threat to himself and others? And just bc one dc movie said joker would stop after Bruce dies doesn't mean that always happens especially with how dc keeps insisting there are multiple jokers- does Bruce have to kill all the jokers or just the one he personally spooked off the side of a platform by accident? I don't totally think you can blame Bruce for joker being as insane as he is since harley took the same dip and she still redeemable, and I don't think it should be on Bruce to compromise his morals just to kill a clown that literally several other people can kill - and I know " "ohh but Bruce gets in the way" then don't tell batman about it don't invite batman to your execution of the joker don't let him find out when Bruce's no kill rule is at its maximum (bc writers can't decide how extreme it should be) he can't let anyone die if he knows about it so just be sneaky and don't let him know
#ask#anon#i think its funny that people also are ignoring#bruce himself in this argument#bc bruce says constantly#if i kill one person i will not be able to stop#hes literally like someone who knows they have an addictive personality#refusing alcohol at a party and everyone keeps saying nah but this one drink its only one drink and you made the drink the drink deserves i#are you all prepared for the batman you get after he kills i guess is what im asking#anyway bc of a certain someone i really wanna draw some werewolf jason again#so might do that tonight#well see#but yeah genuinely been enjoying reading everyones opinion on the matter#so far i dont think any have changed my mind#just nice seeing everyone talk about it too
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I met people I knew only online for the first time irl last night and I'm still extremely exhausted cause I am not a social person so here. Take an OC.
Katale (Kitty) is wonderful and I love her and she's a criminal and that's fine. She likes to look cute and so whenever I see a really cute outfit in public with a specific vibe, I'm like "Kitty would love that". So here. Please. Please know that I saw this very pretty woman jogging with her hair pulled back, running shorts, and the CUTEST top with a little scarf from the same fabric tied and wow. It was. So wonderful, please have a wonderful day @ the lady I saw jogging yesterday.
#my characters#kitty is so funny to me cause she is absolutely used to a life of crime#shes second in command in a huge group because she actually forfeited the top command spot to her future boyfriend#and now they are exes and besties and she just really likes their criminal crew#and then she adopts a lil agent guy bc hes like a puppy and she is like listen that is my son now you cant hurt him#ANY OF YOU TRY TO HURT MY SON I HURT YOU including you rud my beloved ex current boss#and hes just like okay#and then they become a very weird messed up family of two crime bosses and a good boy#but anyway kitty is the glue that holds everything together and she commits crimes on the side of being nice#like oh sorry im late to get here i had to kill a man#but its also her getting phone calls from rud telling her sorry babe cant show up im a bit gross#and shes like oh yeah dude i get it sometimes blood just doesnt wanna hide :c ttyl smooches ily#anyway she deserves to have cute outfits and no one is gonna tell her otherwise#ALSO for those who dont know and might care shes a weeb she watches so much anime#she just ..... really likes anime and makes rud watch some shows with her during and after dating#he just goes along with it no complaints and he doesnt understand all the appeal#but it makes kitty happy so hes happy
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doodled the science club hehe 🥺 they're helping low go through a breakdown or smth
i swear i'll finish this at some point btw
RED OHMYGODDD LOOK AT THEM!!!!!
I wish you could see the smile on my face rn omg I'M GONNA BE STARING AT THIS ALL DAY LOOOOOOONNGGGGG 💕💖😩💖💕
#literally sobbing rn this actually just made my morning#LOOK AT THEMMM OUGHHHHH MY HEARTTT I'm literally so in love#do I tell you enough how much I absolutely adore your art bc oughhhhh I have so many cartoon hearts flying around my head rn#ALSO FAITH IN YOUR STYLE MAKES MY HEART EXPLODE EVERY TIME I SEE HERRRR AAAAAAA#glad jasper low could join the group therapy club he really needed someone looking out for him after oops and gorgon :'[#oughhhhhhhhh we should be allowed to get him out or there and be his frienddddd I'm so fr#gonna be looking at my screen like 🥺 all day long okay#I hope they have so many warm drinks and cozy blankies and nice soup#they all deserve it but thinking abt how alone jasper is makes me sooo </3333#no one else is ever gonna come for him if we can't convince him to leave like babygirl snap out of it we can do projects somewhere elseeeeee#captain of the unreliable#friend art#friend oc
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horror bragging about he's immortal and allat to killer and dust (because he genuinely thinks he is. like he literally came back from the DEAD that is a proud accomplishment!!!! bro probably brags all the time about it like "heh even if you hit me hard i'll just get back up. bitch")
and then killer's like alright bet! let's test that out! and then he starts going on an all out chase for horror's head. and dust just follows along because hey why the fuck not it sounds fun and it would be nice to knock horror down a peg or two :3 frantic running from horror ensues because as much as he'd like to stick by his claim he REALLY cannot be going around risking to see if him being immortal is actually true 💀
#horror it's all your fault you played with fire and now you are not about to get burned you are about to DIE#oh its probably so nervewracking....... he legit could die horror doesnt know if the other two would take mercy on him#he's been an ass all this time ‼️ he has been manipulative and lied ‼️ he has shittalked them at their lowest ‼️ he is FUCKED#or WORSE they just end up dragging this out and driving him crazy with paranoia (this is in fact what would happen)#not that he particularly regrets not being nice to killer and dust because why should he and why do they deserve it but like. GODAAMN IT#couldnt it HURT just to be a LITTLE nicer past horror???? now youre gonna DIE because you were too much of an asshole!!!!!!! fuck#but maybe he doesn't die? maybe he actually lives when the two find him and eventually#would that be worse actually yes in fact it would. if he wants anyone to find out he's actually immortal it would NOT be dust and killer#death seems much more inviting than being hunted down by those two. oh SHIT REAPER WAIT DONT TOUCH HIN#if killer and dust worked together they could probably create a torture situation that not even a tank personified would mentally survive#this seems like another one of my ideas in my head that seems bright and comedic but in reality would just be terrifying#i like it piccasso. now just set it in horrortale and then you have horror in the place of all the people he killed#all the people he hunted down all the innocents and now he gets to feel what they felt when he chased them down#the fear and nervousness of being watched of being toyed with of knowing that youre already stuck in a maze with no exit and no way back#yeah i'd kill myself the psychological horror i'd feel would just be too much dust and killer can just kill me for all i care I GIVE UP#wouldnt it be funny if dust and killer never even touch horror they just chase him until he passes out#that would be sooooo silly LMAO. bitchass we didnt even touch you and you passed out from panic and exhaustion??? COWARD 🤣🤣🤣🤣#dust and killer would never let that memory be forgotten trust. trust. i love it when they taunt and torture eachother#GOD can we get some self not so self inflicted pain onto these 3 😒😒😒 more than they already have but whatever#dont worry guys they took horror home after he passed out and when he woke up fed him a bit of soup to replenish his energy#and then they played a roblox obby to calm down and also relax and then they fell asleep all zzzrkkk mimimimi shoooo like 3 little kitties#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc
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.
#after a bus to a plane to a train to the underground to the room im staying in...im back in london#my calves are in their own personal layer of hell and my feet hate me but I HAD SO MUCH FUCKING FUNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#also??? the guys i shared a hostel with???? were so fucking hot oh my god. there were 3 guys and me which i wasn't. expecting. BUT.#the one in the bunk above me was australian and he was nice enough to give me a usb port thing for my phone and i think#i think i fell in love with him he was so prettyyyyyyyyyyyy#never got his name. but ill remember him and his charger fondly#he even let me keep it which was super sweet#but my birthday is in 2 days and then next week is edinburgh and my TATTOO!!!!!!!!#cannot express how much is happening and how happy i am i genuinely dont think ive been this excited about life in. at least a decade.#i dont want this trip to end and i know i still have like 2 weeks but i dont want to GOOOOOO#but also i DOOOOO bc then i have BRASIL with my grandparents and im just FGBHJK<JHBGVBHNJ#sometimes i cannot believe this is my life but like then i remember the shell of a human being i was just a year ago and im like.#no ya know what i deserve this.#anyway yes im alive and now i need to go pass the fuck out. miss you all im sorry to everyone i still need to reply to. i havent forgotten.#and i will do it!!!!!!!!! but time is hard. for obvious reasons. hope you are all well and im sending everyone kisses ilyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!#personal
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something i realized in the recent years is that while my mom is a very nice person and i can understand why she is the way that she is sometimes, she had a history of always dismissing and throwing away things that were important to me, and in hindsight that certainly had an effect on both my trust in her and how much i was willing to ever share, and also just turned me into a dumpster goblin because i just gave up on ever having nice things so why bother ever caring about my personal space at all ✌️ i'll just live in the filth because we'll never have anything better after all !!
#i remember i used to have a bunch of cool anime and game posters i collected over many cons for a couple of years#and one day i just came back to my bedroom being fully repainted and everything was thrown out#same with some figures i got. i had a nice bleach collection and they were all broken due to rough cleaning#some just straight up gone because haha who cares they're just toys toss em out#and it was a situation of if i complained i would only get dismissed as being pissy about stupid things. so i just. didn't.#i just accepted it and decided ''i guess i'm not getting anything again'' and didn't even bother going to cons after that lmao#now that i'm in my late 20s i'm FINALLY buying cool physical items for myself and not letting anyone even come close to my room#and a part of me feels guilty about spending. but like... yeah no.#i deserve that 1/8 makise kurisu figure i found the other day. or gunpla. or mtg cards. or manga collections. i can do whatever i want.#and i should also be retroactively pissed at how dismissive everyone was over my belongings because#EVEN IF they were all silly unimportant items. i was like 15. why would you throw away a kid's belongings like that. even if “dumb.”#not to mention how unimportant i was already feeling at the time. none of this helped.#and i was fully convinced that yeah this is what my life should be like. i don't want to be selfish so. i'll just embrace minimalism.#that is what i deserve.#which only later as an adult after i started comparing my experiences to other people i realized#hey. what the fuck was that.#do you guys really not remove all of the layers that make you human??
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I would love, even if its just its just brief summaries, to know the different thoughts going through bills head throughout the last smut. (mainly when he got the text and when dipper starts just blurting out thoughts and ideas bc i think those moments would be fun to see)
Imagine you're having the shittiest day at work. You're gritting your teeth and hanging onto it by your fingernails, knowing that eventually dealing with this absolutely idiotic, waffling, overstuffed, condescending dipshit of a client will be done with, you'll charge him out the nose for your services - which will probably be, like a hundred dollars, the way this is going! What bullshit. At least afterwards, you can collapse onto the bed and complain to your spouse about it. Which you have been doing, actually, waiting for a decent excuse to bail or check out early.
Then you get a text. And it's your partner saying they got you a brand new console, your favorite pizza - Oh! And a million bucks in untraceable cash - but you might have to kick your shitty client in the nuts so hard his eyes pop out. Does that sound... okay? No pressure or anything.
The reason Bill was a minute later than expected is because even he needed a moment. It was the sheer whiplash from going from Shit to Fucking Amazing.
#answers#Bill went from full on eeueuughhh about his day to practically having hearts floating around him#Perhaps literally depending on the magic situation in the place he was in#In my head Bill was 'hired' by a (shitty) villain and he got out of it by doing a quick betrayal and demanding to be cast out by the 'heros#“I Got THIS to get back to!! You think I wanna keep him waiting???”#He already hovers in his normal triangle form but this man was practically floating with delight heading back to Dipper#A graph of Bill's mood would start out super low then spike sharply at the pic#It then stays super high up with more spikes during all the shenanigans#After the smut they likely get cleaned up. Cuddle. And talk shit about idiots they've had to deal with#Bill Cipher has gone from doing his evil deeds and playing piano to an empty bedroom while raiding his own bar for distraction#To coming home to someone who'll listen to him bitch about his day and absolutely bicker with him about it#Calling him the worst thing in the universe. A scourge upon reality.#The most clever awful bastard. How *dare* he be handsome that's a crime -and frankly Dipper basically did it for him so he can't take credi#And sometimes even saying 'yeah you didn't *entirely* deserve to be screwed over that way. I could have done that *way* better.'#While Bill rests his head in his lap. Having someone listen to him ramble while he gets his hair played with. Lots of really good kisses#Warm. Close. Grossly domestic. But hey! Even *sex* can seem gross if you phrase it weird and *that's* a normal demonic pleasure#Sometimes fun things are just fuckin' FUN y'know?? Even if this one seems weird to other demons#It's. Nice. REALLY nice.#There's absolute no goddamn way he's going back to NOT having this#Even death won't pry it out of his greedy little mitts
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