#you can't stand still; no matter how miserable you are there's shit you got to do

[medicinemane]

Seriously, it would be a mercy to kill me. I'm begging for help dying. Do you not see why it's fucking torture to keep my alive while living with her? I'll never escape her, like there's just no practical way to make it happen

And yet, till I get my act together and find a way to die already, show must go on

[livelaughpeg]

I'm writing this from a throwaway account, because you know...Scientology.

I want to preface this post by saying I am not one of those "I knew it all along!" people. I can't stand that attitude. I was pretty ambivelant towards Neil Gaiman. Prior to the allegations, I didn't hate him but I wasn't that interested in him as a person either. I don't think you can always tell when someone is a bad or good person simply by the topics they write about. If that was the case we'd be arresting every horror writer on earth.

But one thing that did always rub me up the wrong way was the way he talked about getting work.

I borrowed and read "Make Good Art" (a small book based on a speech he gave to graduates at the University of the Arts) at a time in my life that I was really struggling to get by (I still am to some extent, but in a different way). I expected to see some practical advice. Instead it was a bunch of glib shit like:

I got out into the world, I wrote, and I became a better writer the more I wrote, and I wrote some more, and nobody ever seemed to mind that I was making it up as I went along, they just read what I wrote and they paid for it, or they didn’t, and often they commissioned me to write something else for them. Looking back, I’ve had a remarkable ride. I’m not sure I can call it a career, because a career implies that I had some kind of career plan, and I never did. The nearest thing I had was a list I made when I was 15 of everything I wanted to do: to write an adult novel, a children’s book, a comic, a movie, record an audiobook, write an episode of Doctor Who… and so on. I didn’t have a career. I just did the next thing on the list.

Life is sometimes hard. Things go wrong, in life and in love and in business and in friendship and in health and in all the other ways that life can go wrong. And when things get tough, this is what you should do. Make good art. I’m serious. Husband runs off with a politician? Make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by mutated boa constrictor? Make good art. IRS on your trail? Make good art. Cat exploded? Make good art. Somebody on the Internet thinks what you do is stupid or evil or it’s all been done before? Make good art. Probably things will work out somehow, and eventually time will take the sting away, but that doesn’t matter. Do what only you do best. Make good art.

Yeah, well, no shit. If you're a writer or artist you probably do anyway. Whether you get paid for it or not, whether you draw fan art or original art. But the point of Gaiman's speech was to give advice to people who wanted to be paid for their art. To make a career of it. Making art every day isn't always enough. You have to pay the damn rent, you have to eat, you have to network and do social media and promote yourself, and you have to do it while thousands of other people are doing the same thing in a massive crowd of people who want the same thing. Practical advice is much more valuable than platitudes and theory.

I am not a writer, I'm an illustrator, and let me tell you that for most people, 'getting your foot in the door' isn't a one time thing. Quite often you have to work at getting your foot in the door again and again until you become established, and it's very easy to be forgotten. I still feel like I'm in that stage now.

I watched my peers, and my friends, and the ones who were older than me and watch how miserable some of them were: I’d listen to them telling me that they couldn’t envisage a world where they did what they had always wanted to do any more, because now they had to earn a certain amount every month just to keep where they were. They couldn’t go and do the things that mattered, and that they had really wanted to do; and that seemed as a big a tragedy as any problem of failure.

The implication was that he was successful because he wrote every day and his friends weren't because they didn't, because you know, working a second job is tiring. He called this a tragedy, but there was something very glib about the way he narrated this.

I think someone had more financial cushion that he was letting on.

And yes, sometimes it does work that way, (some people are very lucky and make all the right connections) but Gaiman was getting Big Jobs right off the bat and something about that never smelt right to me after the way he talked about it.

And then I saw Jeff's tweets. Oh, that's why...

I suspect the truth is he was living off his family's money and connections, and while I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that if you're a struggling artist, his family are Scientologists, and I don't think he ever struggled.

I suspect it's all a lie.

[weebsinstash]

Yandere Alastor having a huge alcoholic meltdown before deciding to take you back is making me crazyyyyyy because like. He sees you crying because you see him spiraling and takes it as confirmation you still love him and need him!!! Sure those scoundrels led you astray but you’re clearly miserable, he just needs to intervene more firmly this time for your his own good, no matter what you say.

One thing that really does it for me is the concept of, he's having an intense public breakdown for, WEEKS, MONTHS even, just spiraling spiraling spiraling, every time you think he's hit his lowest, you hear something worse: being drunk in public, starting fights over perceived disrespect, being extremely hostile and standoffish to those who try to speak to him, AVOIDING ROSIE, like....honey you destroyed this man

and then... all it takes to knock some sense into him is Vox showing you up on the big screen for Alastor to see, the Radio Demon watching you look upon his image with legitimate concern and PITY, like you're looking at a puppy being kicked or something. He hadn't seen your face (in person anyways) in what feels like AGES and then he finally sees his precious beloved beau again and you're. Crying, FOR him, BECAUSE of him. You're crying and that dirty nasty flat faced capitalist bastard is mocking you for all of Hell to see and THAT is something Alastor won't tolerate

Can you even imagine like. It becomes too much, you're crying and getting taunted by Vox and Alastor is like VISIBLY SHAKEN by the sight of you, amd, you just feel too much guilt, you run off absolutely sobbing and don't even see if Alastor manages to sober himself up enough to stand before you do. You just can't watch, it's torture. Which also leaves you completely unaware of how seeing your image seemingly renewed the absolutely WASTED Radio Demon's strength. You spend several days curled up in bed, refusing to watch TV or get on your phone, but, wait, doing your word searches and crossword puzzles or playing solitaire just makes you think of Alastor too--

Meanwhile he's like absolutely tearing through Hell personally tracking down every man you've so much as blown a kiss at behind his back and, well... you know what he's known for. These men might not have even known you were the Radio Demon's piece and are begging for their lives, but Alastor doesn't care. They've defiled you. They've tainted you. They've dirtied you with their disgusting grimey pig hands. There's no taking that back. If he can't exactly reach into their minds and remove their memories of seeing your exposed body, hearing your wanton noises, then, Alastor will just have to remove their minds from their heads entirely, won't he? Brain is such a tasty organ meat.

I just. The mental image of Alastor finally coming to fetch you and he finds you in like. the worst situation possible and I mean that. He's either finding you drunk in the gutter yourself because you started binge-drinking because of how seeing him Like That made you feel, OR, he's finding you getting railed in a sex club. I mean it. I want this man kicking down a door because he's finally coming to take you back and he thinks his precious boo is being tormented by gross men and you're like, a willing participant in a Czech reverse gloryhole. I want this man absolutely convinced you need him to survive and he walks in on you doing something that strikes him as so WILD that it instantly confirms WHATEVER INSANE THEORIES he had. I want a yandere Alastor who got cheated on because he never wanted sex (or, needed to become attached to you enough to want it and you lost patience before he reached that point) and he sees you cheat on him, dump him, and immediately run headfirst into the wildest kinkiest craziest shit to the point he thinks you're having a mental health crisis and, oh honey clearly this is HIS FAULT. He didn't... cater to all of your needs, so you sought out men who could. It's not YOUR fault these, DISGUSTING PIGS would take advantage of you, which is CLEARLY what happened!

But anyways, oh no no, don't worry darling! He's been doing a lot of self reflecting on himself and his feelings and --ignore the tentacle climbing up your leg -- and he's been thinking a lot about what to do about your... apparently very rigorous physical needs and --yes there ARE multiple tentacles starting to kind of grope all over you but you're not focusing on the conversation, dear-- and Alastor thinks he's found a solution that should.... DEEPLY satisfy both of your desires :) now, all you have to do is relax and allow him to show you the fruits of all the "anatomy research" he's been doing recently...

[uriwoos2]

The Last One. (ksw)

pairing: sunwoo x gn!reader. genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, friends to lovers. overview: sunwoo comforts you after an unpleasant event. you go for a drive in his car, in the sunset. a confession at the beach. kissing. word count: 3k. warnings: depictions of feelings of anxiety/social anxiety and loneliness; self-conscious and self deprecating thoughts. please avoid reading if you find these themes triggering. ♡ notes: I'm finally giving this a try! I'm super excited to write on here!! the beautiful pictures sunwoo posted on ig made me think of the idea for this fic. I got inspired to write it while I was feeling really down myself, and even though it's pretty self-indulgent, I felt like I could share it here, in hopes that this might comfort anyone else who needs it. it took me a week to finish this, but I enjoyed every moment of it. I'd love to hear what you think about it!! like & reblog if you enjoy <3 with love, cream.

♪₊˚ song: tejano blue — cigarettes after s*x.

it's so loud.

you can hear the noisy chatter of the people in your group, bantering and laughing out loud.

what are they laughing so much about? are they laughing about.. about me?

you sink in your seat, hands in pockets, body slumping even more than before, aiming to merge with the chair. your eyebrows set low, unknowingly glaring at the group.

"hey, you okay?" one of them calls out, making you perk up, but you know it isn't a genuine question, so you lower your eyes, nodding briefly.

a scoff. "it's no use talking to them, they're not gonna answer you." another voice retorts, clearly tipsy. you try to pay it no mind.

it was fine before, they didn't care much. why now?

but before you can come up with an answer to your own question, your thoughts are interrupted with laughter, even louder this time.

they're laughing at me.

the discomfort that gradually began setting in since you first stepped into the building, was about to overflow. so you go to stand up and leave, while your mind imagines the remarks they could be throwing at you.

"leaving already? so boring."

"they're so weird"

"wow, that's one scary kid."

"not worth our time."

"yeah, you better leave."

real or not, it didn't make much of a difference for you. you still cared, it still bothered you, no matter how miserable that might sound. the non-spoken words, thought up by your own mind, sharp and piercing, biting at your skin. you brushed your hands on both of your arms up and down roughly to rid your mind of the thoughts.

it burns.

so much for trying to socialise.

you awkwardly squeeze through people crowded in groups outside, keeping your eyes on the ground, paying no mind to where you're headed.

you just need to get away from there, as far as possible, and quickly. you don't even check your surroundings, as your legs seem to be taking charge right now, shaking but not able to stop moving ahead.

I'm so embarrassing. I'm so disgusting.

you're continuously reminded of what happened at the bar, the image seemingly stuck in your brain. the mocking laughter replaying over and over, taunting you, leaving no choice but to think about it.

why can't I just do it the way they can, what is wrong with me?

they all seem to like it.

why doesn't it come naturally to me too?

why do I have to force myself?

you walk with your head down, trying to hold in your tears. you knew this wouldn't end well, you didn't expect anything from it, and yet,

I'm pathetic. I'm disgusting. and I'm miserable.

I knew this wasn't a good idea, why did I even..

they all probably hate me now. the way I am.

I feel so sorry for myself-

there's a halt in you thoughts, as in your steps. you notice you've bumped shoulders with someone.

wait- what am I doing, where am I?

you frantically take a look around, only to find yourself in an unfamiliar place, yet again, the anxiety sets in. you have no way of telling where you are.

the sun will set soon, too. shit-

you walk around in hopes to find a way to get back to your place, maybe think of something. but, you remember-

sunwoo has my location! yes. he'll help.

you mentally thank yourself for thinking of that, taking your phone out to text your friend.

"changed my mind, come get me please."

the reply is almost instantaneous, as it always is whenever it's sunwoo you're texting.

"be there in 10. stay where you are."

a sigh of relief escapes through your lips, your shoulders feeling lighter, knowing you'll be on your way soon. but you still need to-

I have to go back to that place.

reluctantly making your way back to the bar, you linger nearby, just so sunwoo can find you, but far enough not to be spotted by anyone else. pulling your hood up, you put your hands in your pockets, shifting back and forth, unable to stay still.

it's fine. it's alright now. it's over. he'll be here soon. I'm okay..

letting a big puff of air out, you try to steady your stance, your breath shaky. you lean your elbows on the railing in front of some shop, as the light from inside gives you shelter from the darkness of the street.

I wish I didn't have to be like this.

you tuck your head into your arms.

this always happens, I don't know why I thought this time would be different.

I should've never come.

I'm shameful.

I'm ashamed!

regardless of your efforts to hold back, you still feel a single stubborn tear touch your skin, staining your sleeves. a sniffle. you can't be crying like this outside,

but I've already embarrassed myself anyway.

another involuntary sniffle, and a tear on the other side of your face. it's gotten colder. there's a warm hand on your shoulder.

frightened, your head springs up, eyes frantically searching for the person the hand belongs to. your body slackens in his grip. thank god. the hand on your shoulder moves to stroke your back.

"I'm here." a gentle smile.

you feel the tear streaks drying on the sides of your face in the light breeze as you look back at sunwoo. you're so drained that you feel as though you've lost the ability to form words, so you can only hope your eyes are able to relay your thoughts to him.

I'm exhausted.

sunwoo's gaze shifts between your eyes trying to gauge anything that hints at your mood. his other hand comes up to wipe your cheekbone. and it stays there, holding the side of your face.

a quiet gasp. "god, you're freezing! I should've been quicker. I'm sorry." he retracts his hand on your cheek. the one on your back guides you in a certain direction, your body completely relaxed and yielding in his hold. you're safe now, sunwoo knows what to do. you know to trust him.

before you know it you feel warm again. even though the roof of sunwoo's cabriolet is folded, even though it's even colder now, even though the breeze blows rougher. the warmth seems to be spreading from within, a feeling, your heartbeat slow and steady. sunwoo buckles your seatbelt for you and closes the door.

don't go.

he rounds the vehicle to get in his seat on the other side. you knew he wouldn't leave, but

still..

"I'll pull the roof back up in a minute." he has taken off his jacket and it's now spread over your lap. "I didn't know it'd get this cold, should've thought of fixing it before coming to get you." he halts his movements when he feels your hand on his arm.

I want to feel the breeze.

"you want me to leave it?" a mild nod from you, eyes downturned. he gazes back at you, eyebrows furrowed. "okay... but put the jacket on properly, the breeze is strong."

when you don't make a move to comply as he instructed, he leans over and carefully adjusts the jacket so that it covers more of you, giving you a sliver of a smile. a whispered, barely there "thank you" escapes through your lips, which he responds to by patting your head. he's so warm.

soon enough the blow of the wind picks up, as sunwoo starts driving. you lean your head back, resting it on the headrest. the bitter gusts of wind crash into your face, turning it red, keeping you awake. you can feel the frigid air burning your skin, soothing your body. your eyelids drop to focus on the feeling as you take in a deep breath.

that feels nice.

I can breathe again.

you open your eyes and look out the window. the city lights are harsh and bright, dazzling you, making you squint, your view of them softening.

"are you cold?" asks sunwoo in a low voice. yes. but it feels good. slowly tilting your head, you face him, beyond him a glimpse of the beach.

your gaze fixes on sunwoo, eyes listless. only now taking notice of his appearance. laid back in the seat, his elbow rests on the door, the other hand grips the wheel. his arms are bare, making your eyes linger. soon enough they shift to look at his dark hair flying around with the wind. thick eyebrows set firm in concentration. eyes half lidded, but alert. you can still see the restlessness in them. he keeps stealing sideway glances at you, eager to grasp your thoughts. you pay it no mind, because..

he's so beautiful.

and most of all, his skin is glowing golden even in the dark, now illuminated scarlet as you stop at a red light. he turns his head toward you, "hmm?"

ah,

you forgot he'd asked a question. that snaps you out of your dazed state effectively. blinking rapidly to rid your eyes of the haze.

shit, I got distracted.

clearing your throat, your voice raspy, "sorry. no, I'm not cold." you fidget with the sleeves of your hoodie. you hear him sigh softly. he's facing ahead again, the light green. "you.. are you okay?" you can hear the concern in his voice and your heart swells.

"yeah, I'm good." averting your eyes from his face, feeling sheepish.

your response doesn't seem to ease his worry, "you can talk to me, you know I don't mind. I'll listen." his words so gentle, you barely hear them.

he's so kind to me.

your eyes shift to your lap. sunwoo's jacket has slid down, and you can see your fingers picking at the skin on your hands.

why... does he treat me like this?

when other people seem to have given up on me completely?

he's too kind.

"I..." you try to form an intelligible sentence. an exhale- "I'm alright. I'm just fine.. if you're with me." you try not to look over at him. "everything sort of.. feels okay when you're here." you breathe deep, in and out. voice trembling, "I just want you to know that.. I'm thankful- for everything you do for me. even though, I don't get why you do this... I know I can be... difficult. to understand, and to talk to most of the time. I guess, I'm grateful that you try. and that you've kept me with you despite.. that, I don't give anything in return. and I'm sorry." you trail off, tears welling in your eyes. "anyway, just thank you." you finish with a sniffle.

sunwoo is quiet. you're too afraid to meet eyes with him, so you keep your head down.

why isn't he saying anything?

did I make him uncomfortable?

you wipe your nose with a sleeve. another awkward sniff.

should've just stayed quiet. it wasn't even that serious..

I'm sorry for being like this.

however, before your mind can make your grey thoughts into a whirlpool and suck you in, you see colors seep into the darkness. you look up in surprise and find the source. the car has come to a halt. the now setting sun seems to be casting the purple-pink light on the waves just before you.

"it has never once felt like that to me." you turn your head, the beams reaching his face too, making you stare. he's looking ahead.

"our.. friendship. I have never thought of it as a chore, a challenge- maybe. purely because we're so different from each other, there's a lot to consider. but.." he shakes his head, lowering it, "oh my god- I always thought of this-" he gestures between the two of you. "as something precious, something I needed to protect. if anything, it felt like it was you keeping me close." he brings his head back up, but still doesn't glance your way.

...what?

eyebrows furrowed in deep confusion, you question, "you.. but, why? there's nothing I have to offer, I mean.." he brings his head back up, concern evident in the way he looks at you. you avoid his eyes, bashful. "you're.. you're so ordinary. you know.. you can befriend anyone, do anything you want.. you're likable, and I don't know.. I'm- I'm just me. and I can barely take being alive, at least..." you sigh shakily, it's so hard to talk about this. "but that was before, now I don't think it's all that bad. and it's all because you came into my life." you didn't even notice you'd started to cry, until you felt sunwoo's thumb on your face, wiping the tears away. you let him, eyes glazed over.

he makes this even more difficult than it already is.

he retracts his hand. you shift your eyes once more. "you know, whenever I think of myself, I'm always out of place. nothing comes naturally to me, like it does with others, and it- it's so frustrating... it's lonely. and it makes me hate myself. but.. weirdly enough, all it took for me to feel at least a little bit normal, was one person who understood me, understood my pain. who listened to me. you're my link to the rest of the world, the only thing that keeps my feet on the ground. I- I really don't know where I would be right now, if you weren't by my side." you feel more silent tears escape.

my whole existence is disgraceful.

but I don't regret this, he has to know how much he means to me.

even if I look like shit in the process.

"I know it's selfish as well, that I wish for you to stay with me forever. but.. truly, you're the sole good thing in my life." you've never felt so exposed and vulnerable before, putting your heart on display, right in front of sunwoo.

"it isn't. selfish- I mean." he catches you off guard, so you turn to look. you notice colors dimming on his face, the sunset imminent. he's got a warm expression on his face, one full of tenderness. "well if it is, then I must be selfish too. because I can never imagine my life without you in it either." he leans over, resting his elbow on the armrest in-between your seats. "it honestly breaks my heart that you think that way about yourself, I wish I could take those feelings away from you.." he reaches over with his other hand and takes your hood off. you can feel your heartbeat pick up. "I don't know how much I'll be able to help, but I can promise, that I'll always try to. I'll be here, whenever you need me." his gaze shifts to the top of your head briefly, patting your hair into place. "and I need you with me, just as much. so, don't ever think like that, okay?"

you should've known better than to doubt sunwoo's feelings. he's the one that gets you, even if no words are exchanged. of course, he'd understand. he always has. I'm so grateful to have him. you feel emotional as you wipe the remainder of your tears, sunwoo waiting patiently. but.. it's hard to focus right now, when he's just

he's so close.

your heartbeat picks up, alerting you of the proximity between your faces. you can feel the heat of sunwoo's breath on your ice cold face, as you try to keep your own even. try to keep your mind clear, aware.

oh god...

he eyes your lips for a moment, and you can hear it in his slightly quickened breaths-

he feels it too.

your eyes lock, and you feel like you're going insane. with the way he's looking at you, gaze filled with longing. with the way his hand's still resting in your hair, tugging at it softly. with the way your heart just can't seem to calm. with the way your faces have frozen into place, neither moving an inch to break the distance. it all makes you want to..

I desperately want to kiss him.

"I want to kiss you." you're not even sure who asked the question, because it was whispered, and because you're too tired to make sense of anything. "...can I?" oh, it was him, after all. his voice so soft, but breathy- rushed with desire.

please.

instead of answering, you pull him in by the back of his head, rushing to connect your lips. your eagerness visible in the intensity of the kiss. this stuns sunwoo for a brief second, but he meets your lips, mouth turning up at the sides. he steadies the kiss, slowing you down.

..finally.

he holds you by the jaw. your lips moving in sync, almost naturally. you pull at his hair. you can feel him smiling into the kiss at that, letting out a deep whine.

he's driving me crazy.

the kiss can't last forever, having to pull away to take a breath. you can feel the dissatisfaction in the way sunwoo whimpers. it pleases you, to know he yearns for you the same way you do, for him.

I can't believe we just kissed.

your faces remain close still, seemingly unable to pull apart, now that you've connected. the sound of your heavy breaths and the waves crashing, the only thing to be heard. you wait for each other to regain oxygen back in your lungs. sunwoo's cheeks are flushed cherry, but you're sure yours are worse.

I can't believe I just kissed sunwoo.

he holds your cheek in his palm now, thumb stroking the blush on it, gaze filled with adoration. his eyes twinkling, telling you all you need to know about how he feels for you.

is this really happening?

sunwoo's half lidded eyes are relentless in raking over your face, noticing every detail, staring. but it isn't uncomfortable, you don't feel self-conscious. you feel seen.

"you're beautiful." he confesses with care.

he likes me.

he finds me beautiful.

his bold words don't make you question their genuineness. you feel confident in the way you look from his point of view, you know you're beautiful, because he sees it.

tightening your grip on his hair, pulling a strand, you look at his swollen mouth, your words coming out hushed, "you have no idea, how long I've waited for this." he ducks his head, smiling shyly. ...he's so.. cute.

bringing both of your hands together, you cup his flushed face.

pretty.

you take a moment to study him. he lets you. after a few moments of silence, he whispers "me too. I've longed for you.. without even realizing." he's a bit hesitant in his words, avoiding your gaze. you didn't know shy sunwoo would come as a punch to your heart, making your affection for him grow.

so adorable.

smiling softly, you lean in to taste his lips once more. this time you make sure to go slow and sunwoo melts into the kiss. he moves his lips according to your pace, kissing you back tenderly. you feel content in his presence, his lips touching yours, comfortable and familiar.

I feel so... warm.

you gently lift your lips from his, but stay near, foreheads joined together. you can feel the breeze biting. your mind screams at you, begging, to connect your mouth back with his again. sunwoo's low breaths grazing your lips not helping the case.

I miss his touch.

the side of his mouth upturned, as if reading your mind, sunwoo briefly brushes your lips with his plump ones.

I need more.

but brief isn't enough. you yearn for him, his touch in the way that wouldn't be sated with a momentary peck. a noise of frustration leaves your lips, and he catches on, finding your impatience cute.

a chuckle, his lips back on yours.

perfect.

[phantoms-lair]

BnHAxFFXIV

When Katsuki got home to see his Mom sobbing on the phone he feared the worst.

He couldn't help but remember seeing her the same way, the day she got the news that Inko and Izuku had been attacked by a villain and no one could find them. Her later reactions had been anger. Anger when the police gave up, anger when Midoriya Hisashi didn't even show up for their funeral. Anger when she found out about everything he'd done.

But the reaction that stuck in his brain first was the raw grief, too strong for anger to get any foothold in. His mother sobbing and screaming and unable to even stand without his father supporting her. And seeing her crying on the couch brought him that to that moment.

He looked around, his Dad wasn't anywhere to be found. Had something happened to him? Was he in an accident? Was he going to make it?

His mother must have seen his face because she laughed. "They're happy tears, brat."

Bakugou let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "You scared the life out of me, old hag!" he barked.

She laughed again. "They found them, Katsuki. They're home!"

"Who's home?" he asked, still a little harshly as a result of the scare.

"Inko and Izu-kun! They're home!" And Katsuki felt the ground fall out beneath his feet.

~

When the news broke, Katsuki hadn't had much reaction at first. He didn't care that much about Deku, but he was worried about Auntie. And the longer it took, the more hope was lost, and he started to feel the fear that Auntie was...gone.

And then he heard the comment in the hall of school "Dad says it's good the Midoriya woman is dead, so she can't create anymore quirkless kids." And he'd lost it.

His parents had been called into the principal's office for his attacking the kid with his quirk. He told them what he said and his parents were immediately on his side. It got bitter and his Mom seemed on the brink of repeating his attack on the kid's father when the principal decided it was enough and announced that Katsuki could find a different school. And that was fine with his parents. What the Principal failed to recognize was Katsuki didn't just get his temper from his parents, but his intelligence. The Bakugou's had influence, money, and an indomitable will for vengeance. His Mom had pumped him for every detail about how Izuku was treated at Aldera Elementary, and that revealed his own actions toward Izuku. The Deku name, the bullying, all of it.

He hadn't realized at the time what he was saying was wrong. He knew his Mom was angry, but assumed it was at the school. He didn't realize it was at him at first. Not until he accidently heard her cry again, and telling Dad the only mercy in the whole thing was that Auntie had died before she found out Katsuki was one of the people who made her life miserable.

And Katsuki was confused because he'd never done anything to Auntie, just Deku. It took longer than he'd admit for him to figure out he hadn't been acting like a hero. He'd been becoming a villain. Izuku's villain. He was a bully and a bigoted asshole. And he'd never be able to make it up to the person that mattered most. Apologies to a shrine or grave meant nothing, in the long run.

He thought to give up his dream of being a hero, but in the end decided the best way to honor Izuku was to be a hero. Not the Number 1 slot he'd aimed for before, but a hero who would actually help people. He stood where Izuku once had, between those who would hurt others and their victims. And hopefully, it would be enough.

But now...now Izuku was back. And Katsuki could apologize for real. He was as excited as he was terrified. He'd always wanted to but...there was no guarantee Izuku would forgive him. He had no reason to, after all.

But either way the first thing out of his mouth was going to be an apology. He had a shit ton to apologize for and he was going to do it, even if Izuku and Auntie hated him for forever. As they arrived at the hospital and made their way to the Midoriya's room, he rehearsed what he was going to say in his mind. Every variance to every word. This was going to be the best apology ever!

His mother knocked and he felt a lump on his throat as a voice he neve thought he'd ever hear again said 'Come in!'. His Dad opened the door, he stepped inside and met his former victim's eyes.

"Izuku I-Why the fuck are you a cat?!"

Katsuki clamped his hand over his mouth, but at least Izuku was laughing.

"Do you like it better?" Izuku asked.

Katsuki narrowed his eyes. "Do you?"

Hesitantly Izuku nodded.

"Then to Hell with what I think. It's your body. If you're happier than it's better."

Izuku's eyes widened. "Thanks Kaachan."

Kaachan. He never thought he'd hear that name again. "Just the truth Izkun."

How they hell had he forgotten how much the nerd could cry??? They were going to flood the hospital room at that rate.

[capn-twitchery]

hi this is @neathyingenue! your drawing of lt. grace and capt. twitchery was so dynamic and i would love to know more about their relationship if you'd like to share 👀

OHOHO rubs my hands together--you've activated my trap card >:3 (also thank you sm!! :D♥︎) SO-

short answer: their relationship is a complicated nightmare at best, and it changes a ton over time. they meet in weird circumstances, things stay weird for a long time, & they end up "together." what that means, i have no idea, bc i think they would die before they talked about it or said they were Actually Dating

long answer: they meet when twitch rescues a very nearly dead grace from the arctic. twitch thinks this poor guy looks very haunted, which is apparently interesting enough for them to reroute the entire ship so they have an extra couple months to hound him for secrets.

upon getting back to london, they want nothing more to do with eachother: twitch got all the secrets they could, grace wants to get far away from this weirdo, preferably as soon as possible, thanks

so they part ways, for a while. grace starts working with the constables (he thinks he can help people there. poor guy) they keep giving him the unwanted jobs: drag bodies back home, sort the paperwork, stand guard outside the cells because this new inmate is chatty and it's annoying everybody else and-oh, it's twitch. of course it is.

they get talking, since there's nothing else to do, and twitch is Very Persistent. they strike a deal: grace can use his connections to get twitch on the good side of the legal records, and in return, twitch will give him free zee trips when he needs it. twitch thinks this will be basically never, since grace has nothing going on, right? so they got the better end of this deal for sure-what do you mean he's on an unhinged revenge mission to murder a fucking master of the bazaar? oh, they have got to see this.

grace is too reluctant to zail himself, has no other contacts & doesn't know anything about the neath. twitch is his only real, consistent source, and they want to see & know everything about how it's going-- this is like the most interesting story in the world to them! so they're spending a lot of time together. a weird amount of time together, really, for two people who don't spend lots of time around any one person in particular.

and it's...kind of fun? sure, twitch is very unreliable, their weirdness is still offputting to grace, sometimes-- but less than it used to be. they're nicer than he gave them credit for, smarter, and their enthusiasm is infectious. and grace is very helpful, it turns out, and it's nice to have company in the captain's cabin, and making him smile instead of looking miserable all the time starts to feel kind of like an accomplishment, and- oh, no.

they both react to their feelings about as well as you would expect: ignore them! or in twitch's case, ask the ship's surgeon to surgically remove them (and get refused. cruel.) they both deny their feelings for a long time. it could never work anyway, right? they're far too different.

except, not really. grace later finishes nemesis, and after parting (somwhat bitterly) with twitch & a brief stint at the grand geode, he realises maybe the laws here fucking suck, actually--maybe he doesn't need to uphold them to help people. lucky for him, twitch has a hell of a rivalry with the admiralty & it's only a matter of time before they cross paths again. he deserts the admiralty in the midst of a naval battle, onto twitch's ship.

til i give either of them an ending, they stay together from that point--at least, as much as they want to. old habits die hard--twitch still likes zailing off to do weird shit, twitch is still a criminal, grace is very much not (more of a vigilante, i guess.) they still can't talk about what they are, they still clash sometimes. but they make it work! captain & (honorary) first mate.

(& twitch's crew breathe a sigh of relief. bc they've been waiting for their emotional brick wall of a captain to semi admit it for at least a year)

[averageanonymous]

Summary: Aziraphale is gone, but Crowley finds himself back at the Bookshop

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Even after Aziraphale returns to Heaven, Crowley still visits the bookshop. He blames the Bentley for taking him there, but for all his protest, it doesn't stop him from going inside on his own two feet.

He finds himself standing in the entry, looking around like he's just woken up and doesn't quite know where he is or how he got there. It's so quiet. Part of him expects that any moment he will see Aziraphale come around a shelf, or down the stairs, a smile shining on his face, blue eyes bright with laughter. His voice echoes in the silence:

'Well, are you going to just stand there?'

Crowley steps down, wanders aimlessly, running a hand over the spines of books, looking idly at papers and other odds and ends left on desks. Untouched. As though the angel has just stepped out, and he'll be back in only a moment. It's like the bookshop is holding its breath, waiting. Then again, maybe it's him that's waiting.

He sits in Aziraphale's chair, taking his glasses off and setting them on the desk. He sighs, rubbing his eyes to chase away the sting of emotions he's been keeping at bay. He's not sure what he's doing. He shouldn't be here. The memories hurt. And there are so many... Too many to recall them all, but oh how his cursed mind tries, leafing through them one by one like so many pages of a forgotten journal.

It's a horrible disparity, the peace, the contentment, the happiness in those memories, overshadowed now by the pain of losing Aziraphale. Like he's lost everything else. He lets out a sharp breath as it washes over him again, suffusing him with every breath he takes.

He supposes that, perhaps, it was always going to be this way. Perhaps it was just a matter of time. Angels and demons... What sort of future could they have ever had, really. Maybe there was only room in God's ineffable plan for one pair of subverted expectations. After all...what was it they'd said? Ah, right. Once makes a good story; twice makes it seem like an institutional problem.

Crowley slouches deeper into the chair. He wishes he could just stop feeling so damn much.

'It's alright, my dear, to let go,' the angel who isn't there whispers to him. He can almost feel a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I don't want to let go," Crowley growls.

'But... you're miserable...' The voice sounds like it's the one who's miserable.

"I'm a demon," Crowley says to the empty shop, "Miserable is part of the job description."

'Oh, Crowley - '

"STOP." Crowley snaps, his temper flaring dangerously. He uncoils from the seat and paces the room. His voice is raw, crackling with energy, "That is enough. You don't get to go back to Heaven, leave me behind, and then give me this shit about being miserable and letting go. This was your damn choice. You're the one who let go. Don't tell me to let go of... I can't let go -" His pacing takes him to a pillar, and he presses his head against it to stop the pounding behind his eyes. His throat aches for wanting to scream and scream until there's nothing left in him to feel this.

"Mr...Crowley?"

Crowley's head whips up. Muriel is standing in the bookshop entryway.

"I thought I heard someone shouting in here," they say. Their voice is just chipper enough to set his teeth on edge.

"I was just leaving," he mutters, stalking back to the desk and shoving his glasses back into place.

"Oh, you don't have to!" Muriel cries, "You're always welcome here. Aziraphale told me-"

"Shut it," Crowley hisses at them as he shoves past, "Whatever he said, keep it to yourself."

"...I guess, if that's what you want..." Muriel turns, gaze following him as he reaches the door. They debate saying anything more and abruptly call just as Crowley steps out, "You should know, I think he's pretty miserable... without you, I mean."

Crowley hesitates for only a moment, and Muriel thinks they hear him say, "I guess that makes two of us." Then the bookshop door closes behind him.

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Thanks for reading ☺️

[shae-la-hyene]

Ok since nobody asked, I'm gonna liveblog eating gluten while most likely coeliac, maybe as a cautionary tale.

To be clear I did not get a coloscopy to prove it so I do not have a definitive diagnostic. From what I've experienced I am 90% sure I'm coeliac, and let's face it the last ten percent are denial.

After about three years of miserable gluten free lifestyle, I snapped. It went like this :

October 6th (2024) : had a plate of terrible crispy chewy and sticky all at once pasta, had a breakdown, decided 'fuck it'

October 8th : bought donuts, ate two, keeping the other four for breakfast tomorrow. Go to sleep, trying to avoid a panic attack

October 9th : no reaction from my body, I'm pissed that I stopped gluten for so long for no good reason. Psy says it might be a nocebo. I'm mad at the entire world. I feel like shit and all my muscles are sore but I convince myself it's the fibromyalgia.

October 9th (at night) : nevermind I got diarrhea I'm definitely reacting. Less painful than last time I ate bread, though, so I keep going. Not giving upnjust yet.

October 12th : I want a kebab so much it dominates my thoughts

October 13th : everything hurts, especially my back and joints. I need an ice pack and I take more breaks time than actual active time. I give up and just go to bed

October 15th : spent the last week exhausted and sore, but still in denial.

October 16th : Everything hurts. If it's because of the bread ? Worth it. I can take painkillers. I can NOT eat gluten free pasta ever again.

October 18th : the absolute luxury that is bread and butter... Having fresh pasta because I might as well

October 20th : I feel so bad I don't even know what to do that might help. I have a headache the size of a watermelon and my body is just a blob of pain and exhaustion. My lower back is sending me sharp constant pain. I google how to know if I have kidney stones. Sure sign is blood in urine. Bitch I'm on my period.

October 21st : spent an hour and a half maying in the dark and silence and the headache is receiding a little so now I want to eat (I'm starving constantly). I feel like shit all the time. Best friend is worried I'll die. We all die someday. If pasta kills me, I win.

October 22nd : ate an entire baguette today, with different toppings. No regrets.

October 23rd : I am of the opinion that my body should not hurt after I spent ten hours sleeping on my brand new bed. Alas, my body and I rarely agree. I think it's shutting down, hard. I google the symptoms for coeliac disease. It's not really helpful since half of those I already experience thanks to my other chronic illnesses. ''The consequence of that is an alteration of quality of life'' no shit sherlock. My main way of knowing is if I have a dramatic weight loss. If I'm coeliac, gluten will damage my intestines and will make it unable to absorb nutrients. I don't have a scale at home so it'll wait til I see my doc. That means that until I see him I can stay in denial. I wish I had a body that worked... You know what will fix this ? A big bowl of pasta.

October 24th : I'm constantly hungry. It ain't looking good.

October 25th : I'm sick again. I'm sick every other day now. Things start tasting off, not the way they're supposed to. Weird. Bad weird. No matter, I finally understand lactose intolerant people risking it all for cheese.

October 29th : I'm so overwhelmed I'm inches away from brutally murdering my cat for standing on my chair's arm. Not her fault but my kneecap has been in the wrong position for hours and won't go back to normal so the pain of it is enough to break the camel's back

November 2nd : I'm so exhausted I can't do anything. Took a mix of painkillers, muscle relaxants, and anti inflammatory meds. Went to lay in bed for a while, end up taking a 8 hours nap. Forced myself to stay awake three hours, and then go back to sleep.

November 3rd : obviously wake up famished. Slept with a bucket next to my bed since I got very close to puking my meds out last night. Everything I have available to eat is unappealing, especially anything with wheat in it. My body is craving proteins. Try to eat, but everything, up to the most basic black tea, tastes so weird. Still exhausted, still in pain, considering taking anti inflamatory meds again today. Reconsider my most recent life choice but too stubborn to give up bread. I'm really not doing good...

That's it for now. I'm not going to the doc yet so I'm gonna keep up with the experiment. Wish me luck.

[moonsromance]

☕ his rants are some of their faves to listen to. go off, vi

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. @byanyan. meme. still accepting!

❝You know, Byan, don't let anyone play Pain Olympics with you.❞ He poured tea for the both of them—the good stuff with orange peel, marshmallow root, and nutmeg. A custom blend from the one golden tin tucked in the back of a corner kitchen cabinet. ❝One thing I can't stand is someone that just can't let other people feel how they feel, all because they're too miserable to pull their head out of their own ass from all of the self-pitying, pathetic navel gazing. Like, it's sickening. I—hold on.❞

Virote pardoned himself and padded his way across the sleek floors of the room for a box of sweet coconut crackers, sliding the sleeve out of the box and placing it on the table when he returned. Virote sat back down. ❝Misery loves company, but don't let anyone tell you that your life could be worse. Aren't those types, like, fuckin' annoying? You know? You could break both arms, be rightfully upset about the injury, and then here comes Dumbshit McSadpants in a full body cast, ready to tell you that it could be worse. They're the one in true pain.

Like, yeah, of course you're in pain. So am I. We both got hit by cars, so what's with the contest? People are so obsessed with making it a show. Who has it worse, whose pain is more valuable, where does this pain scale in the grand scheme of things. As if that matters. It doesn't! On the flip side, Byan, if you ever find yourself comparing your pain to someone else's... Don't. That's a nasty trap. We, as emotional beings, will never get better unless we stop doing shit like that. We're all just flops in our flop era... In Floptropica. All I know is, if I start feeling worse than I already do, I'm gonna start smoking meth.❞

[angelsanarchy]

Alone Together - Eddie/OC One-Shot Series PRT 26

taglist: @thetenthdoctorscompanion @siriuslymooned @samwilsonnsnns @kathaaaaaaa

Eddie had to keep himself busy all day. Dani was supposed to come home today and he had missed the hell out of her. After talking to Wayne, he talked with the boys about his plan to ask Dani on a real date. They were all supportive and gave him a bunch of shit for taking so long but the whole gang was happy for him. No matter how much they tried to talk him down and explain that Dani felt the same way, he was still terrified to ask her out.

Eddie was running late for band practice, trying to get everything loaded up in his van as fast as humanly possible didn't mean shit if the van wouldn't start.

He had called and let Gareth know what he was doing and he said if he didn't hear from him in the next 20 minutes, they would practice tomorrow instead. Eddie couldn't help but be frustrated. He had way too much on his mind to focus on fixing the van right now.

He thought he heard a familiar car puttering down the street towards the driveway but when the door slammed, he lifted his head from under the hood.

There she was. Her hair almost looked a little darker, her cheeks were rosy and she smiled widely as soon as their eyes met. Eddie dropped the wrench in his hand as Dani started sprinting towards him. She jumped into his chest and he lifted her off the ground into a tight hug.

"Fuck I missed you." Eddie took in her scent as she squeezed him tightly.

"I missed you too!" Dani's legs were wrapped so tightly around Eddie, she had no plans of letting him go. When she finally sat back and looked at him, she smiled. Without much thought, she leaned forward and kissed him hard on the lips. Eddie's chest tensed feeling how hard his heart was beating and he kept his grip tight on her. Eddie stumbled back into the van and she pulled away from him so she could put her legs back on the ground.

"I need to talk to you about something...it's important." She sounded out of breath. Eddie felt like he had been gut checked.

"Y-yeah I gathered that." Eddie swallowed. She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the trailer, noticing his uncles truck wasn't in the driveway she was excited to finally see him, feel him, talk to him.

"Look I want to talk to you too-" Eddie heard her close the door behind herself but as he turned around she practically tackled him into the wall with another kiss. This time he was equally not prepared but responded with his lips against hers instead of standing there like an idiot. He cupped her face in his hands and pulled away.

"Wait wait wait...I have to tell you something Dani. It's important." Eddie needed to tell her. He needed her to know how he felt.

"I love you...I mean I'm in love with you and I want-" she cut him off.

"to have sex?" She questioned making his eyes go wide and jaw slack.

"Um...okay..I feel like we fast forwarded through something." Eddie clasped his hands together and Dani laughed. She walked over to the couch and patted the spot next to her. He sat down confused and she just stared for a minute.

"There wasn't a minute where I wasn't thinking about you while I was gone. That phone call that we had, that's the only thing that got me through my mom's stupid crap. I just kept thinking about this moment. Finally seeing you and just putting it all on the table." Dani explained.

"Y-yeah?" Eddie croaked.

"Yeah." She reached out and took his hands into her own.

"I guess that's a good thing because I was miserable the entire time you were gone. Everyone kept saying how much of a mopey dick I've been and kept telling me I needed to man up and finally tell you...that I'm stupid in love with you. It's more than being best friends or friends that dry hump in my van. I can't stop thinking about you Dani. I want to be with you all the time, I want to do cute shit like go on dates and have you wear my clothes and hold your hand at school." Eddie blushed looking at their hands together.

"I know you don't like labels-" He started nervously.

"Oh shut up and ask me to be your girlfriend already." Dani blurted. Eddie looked up surprised and smirked.

"You wanna be my girlfriend, Murillo?" Eddie teased.

"Yes I do." She pulled on his hands as they were locked into her own and kissed him. This time when he let go of her hands, he put them on her cheeks and pushed her to lay on her back, hovering over her so he didn't crush her. She pulled away suddenly and he leaned up to look down at her.

"What's wrong?" He asked concerned.

"I want to have sex with you...like right now." She pressed.

"I mean I'm totally down for all that but don't you want to like make it special...go on a date or something first?" He asked. Dani wasn't like the other girls he had slept with. She was special to him. She was his girlfriend now and he wanted her to know how much she meant to him.

"It is special because it's with you." She pushed his hair away from his face and he smiled sweetly.

"We can wait if you-" Eddie cut her off.

"Fuck no!" He lifted her off her feet and practically ran back to his bedroom while she laughed, holding on for dear life. He place her down on the bed gently and resumed kissing her with fervor this time. He pulled away and looked down at her for a moment to smile.

"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted this?" Eddie asked stroking the side of her face. Dani smiled at him.

"Why didn't you say anything? We could have been doing this for months." She teased. Eddie let out a laugh and shook his head.

"I was scared. You're my best friend...you're the best thing that's ever happened to me in this shitty town. I didn't want to ruin it." Eddie explained shyly. Dani touched his cheek and sat up on his bed.

She pulled her shirt over her head and Eddie's eyes went wide. Without giving him a second to process, she pulled her bra off too tossing it and leaving her topless in his gaze.

"You couldn't ruin this if you tried Munson." Dani reached out and pulled Eddie back on top of her and he let his hands roam her breasts, squeezing them and rolling her nipple between his thumb and finger. She ran her hands up his back and he let her pull his shirt over his head.

Dani ran her hands over his chest and let her fingers linger over his tattoos. She had seen them before but she had never been able to touch them.

"You're so fucking beautiful." Eddie ran his tongue down her neck, leaving behind little nibbles that made her groan. He felt her hands on his belt buckle and paused. She smiled reassuringly at him and he blushed.

"Eddie Munson, are you blushing?" Dani teased.

"Well I never really thought we would get here, you know." Eddie touched her hands and she sat up in front of him.

"Do you want to stop..." He rolled his eyes at her and she chuckled.

"Okay that was a dumb question. Are you just shy?" She asked kissing the skin of his chest, letting her tongue run across the ink of his tattoos as she brushed her fingertips over his happy trail. Eddie's eyes closed and he let his jaw run slack at the feeling. This felt so much different than any other time he's had sex. This felt intense.

"Do you think I could steer for a bit?" He asked letting his hands rest on her hips. She kissed him quickly before laying on her back and letting him take control. He laid his body atop Dani's, resuming his kisses, trailing them down her breasts, over the scars of her stomach from surgeries, to the hem of her jeans. He pulled the jeans and the panties down in one fell swoop and Dani moaned loudly the moment his lips attached to her clit. His eyes shot up to look at her as she writhed beneath him and she gripped her breasts tightly in her hands trying to contain the feelings Eddie was pulling from her.

"Oh God! Eddie." Dani looked down and watched him lap at her pussy so well she wanted to cry. Her hips jerked when his fingers entered her and she swiveled her hips down onto them.

"You're so fucking wet for me, beautiful. Tell me how good it feels, how good I make you feel." Eddie wanted so badly to make her cum like this. He wanted to hear her moan his name and taste her orgasm on his tongue. He kept his fingers at a steady pace and she continued to whine curses, biting her lip to keep from being loud.

"You make me feel so fucking good. I'm gonna cum, fuck Eds, I'm gonna cum." It came out like a cry but when she did cum, Eddie made sure to lick her clean until she practically trapped his head between her knees from being overstimulated.

Eddie sat back on his knees letting Dani catch her breath. She looked at him as he surveyed her laying exposed completely on his bed and smiled.

"I'm taking those fucking pants off now." She scrambled to get her hands back on his belt and he laughed letting her undo the buckle. He took a handful of her ass cheeks in his hands and squeezed as she tried to yank his jeans down but was unsuccessful.

"I might need to take these off myself." Eddie slid off the bed and stood as he pushed his jeans and boxers to the floor and stepped out of them. His cock was hard as it slapped against the middle of his stomach and Dani grinned.

"Shy my ass." She crawled towards him and he shook his head at her, tensing as he watched her lick her palm and slide it down his cock.

"Listen, I would love for you to...return the favor but I'm not going to last long and I want the first time I cum with you to be inside of you." Eddie explained and Dani put her arms around his neck.

"Inside of me? That kind of sounds romantic." She teased but he leaned his head against hers.

"You know I love you right? Like over the moon, sell baby if it made you happy kind of love..." Eddie pressed and Dani put her hands on his face.

"I love you too Eddie...and I would never ask you to sell baby." She kissed him sweetly, tasting herself on his tongue. She let him lay her on her back again, feeling the weight of him resting against her belly as he settled on top of her.

"Are you ready? I don't want to hurt you-" Eddie started looking between their bodies feeling Dani's hand grip him and guide his cock towards her entrance.

"Oh..-Fuck." Eddie felt her pussy pulling him in tightly and he tried to remain as still as possible. Dani didn't move, seeing him trying to keep his composure. She stroked the muscles in his arms until he lifted his head to look into her eyes.

"You're going to be the fucking death of me, Murillo." He was practically shaking.

"What a way to go out then." She smiled kissing his forearm tattoo. Once he was able to move, he pushed his hips forwards and Dani let her head fall back. She felt full and the burn of the stretch made her dig her nails into his arms. He went slowly trying not to let this moment be over too quickly. He couldn't look down at her face without wanting to cum so he tried to keep his eyes shut as he moved, listening to her moans, preaching his name like she was in church asking for forgiveness. Sex had never been like this for him.

He finally dare to look at her and she staring at him as his thrusts started to pick up speed. She pulled the front of his guitar pick necklace until he was close enough to kiss her as he moved.

"Eddie." She licked his bottom lip groaned grabbing a hold of his ass and wrapping her legs around him to pull him deeper. He let out a surprised groan and started thrusting at a sloppy pace trying to reach his orgasm.

"Oh fuck Dani! FUCK!" He released inside of her and felt his vision white out for a moment as he whined out moans. His arms gave out and he tried not to crush her but he couldn't move. His legs felt like jelly and just feeling his dick go soft inside of her made him shiver.

He hadn't remembered falling asleep but when he awoke, Dani was staring at him, now wearing one of his old band tanks and panties. He grinned at her and she could see the blush on his cheeks.

"You passed out almost immediately." Dani teased and Eddie turned to bury his face into the pillow.

"I was overwhelmed with emotions and comatose by your feminine wiles, at least I made you cum once." Eddie mumbled into the pillow embarrssed.

"Twice actually." Dani laughed stroking his back and resting her head next to his so he would look at her.

"No regrets?" He asked letting his hand rest on her naked thigh. She leaned forward and kissed him.

"Not a single one." Dani pushed the hair off his face and he smiled.

"This feels like a dream. I don't want to leave this bed. I don't want the world to fuck this up." Eddie pulled her closer to him and she rested her head against his chest.

"Nothing is going to fuck this up. You've got me and I've got you." Dani reassured Eddie as he held onto her.

"Beauty and the Freak..." He teased making her laugh.

"Hey, you're my freak." She joked and Eddie licked his lips seeing how sincere she was being. That's how Eddie knew he was falling in love with Dani. The way she looked at him was unlike anyone else. She saw something in him that made him want to be better, do better and make a future possible.

"And you're my girl." He responded kissing her once more and getting lost in the feeling of their limbs being tangled up in one another, laying in the middle of his bed. He was going to fight with his life to protect what he and Dani had.

[jaegersmoon]

aim,

when it feels like the current world is collapsing on you, what do you do to escape?

OB is genuinely such a safe space for me. im 18yo rn and i'm going through the shit y/n went through almost word for word. i'm stuck in my shitty home town. my dad's an ass, but one good thing is i was able to break up w my porco. i thought it'd make me feel much happier and in a way it does, but the trauma he left behind will still fucking linger till the end of time and that's what hurts sm.

i feel like i'm stuck in a pithole. i really really need someone to tell me it gets better bc i feel so alone rn. whatever asshole told u that ur writing is not good is clearly wrong because ur fic was literally my safe space. safer than the 'friends' ive known for years. safer than my ex. safer than even my own dad. i love u <33

Trigger warning: Abusive relationships.

First, I want to say that I am so proud of you for feeling like you could come to my tumblr and talk about this.

I'm choked up writing this because of how sorry I am that you have endured what you have. Know that I admire you for pushing through every single day, even when you don't want to. Even when it's easier to give up than stand up. It pains me to know that I can't snap my fingers and make it all better for you. If I could, I would because I know how hard and painful it is to experience what you are right now. I see you, and I hear you, and I am listening.

I understand your trauma, and I want you to know that what you are feeling at this stage of your life is common. Your relationship wasn’t normal. You experienced things that no one ever should. It's unfair because you are stuck dealing with something within you that was placed there by the hands of others while all you ever tried to do was love. The things you went though altered your brain chemistry in a way that not everyone can understand unless they have been through something similar. It changes the way you see things, the way you see yourself, and how you live.

"No one talk about how hard it is to recover from abuse love after the abuser is gone."

He took pieces of you with him. That is what people like Porco do. It is how they live, how they breathe, and how they strive. It's sick, and it's twisted, and devastating. They make you feel like you are the darkness that will damage all things you touch, when in reality it’s them. They are like leeches who only live when they are stripping you of who you used to be and making you feel like you will never be worth more than what they make you feel like you are. They are miserable people who want nothing more than to make sure you are miserable too.

You got away. You broke free from him. That's what matters. Not the time lost or the things you wish you could go back and change. I am so proud of you because you made the impossible possible for yourself. You saw you were worth more than what you were faced with and you did something about it. That is huge progress in itself. It takes so much to be able to do that and you did. Now you have the power to take your life back and build yourself better.

Healing, in general, is an agonizing process but especially when you are trying to recover from abuse of any kind, whether it be physical, emotional, or mental. It is not linear. There is not right or wrong way. Some days it feels like you are on the hilltops with all the progress you’ve made, while others, it feels like you are stuck in the same exact place you were when you left him. It's like grief in that way.

It is normal when you are coming out of something like this to feel like you are stuck in a pit. It's the way it is when the abuser leaves. I blocked things out that I didn't remember happened to me until a couple of months ago. There are things I can't talk about to others, not to my best friends, not to my family. Because it is scary admitting things out loud, you can barely even admit it to yourself. I am saying this because even if you are still dealing with trauma, if there are still trauma responses, your body reverts to or triggers that you have does not mean that you are not making progress because you are. Every day you choose to get up and get out of bed is progress.

I want you to know it does get better. It might not seem like it, but it does. And you might now know how but it will. I was with my Porco for six years. I was stuck in my hometown because of him for years while my friends left me behind and lived their life the way I wish I would have. I was isolated from them because of him. I needed people, and I had nobody. it was the most frustrating thing in the world as I tried to navigate through the darkness knowing nobody would be on the other side waiting for me.

I couldn't break free from my Porco until I was 22 years old. And that was when I finally left my hometown too. I started writing okay, bambi only three months after my break up because I was like you. I felt stuck and scared and lonely, and if I didn't do something, I was going to go so far down into the darkness that lived within me created by him that I wouldn't be able to find myself again.

Now, I am 24, and I am finally starting to remember what it feels like to be alive after years and years of not knowing if I was dead or actually breathing. I am stating my own experience here because you are still so so young. You have so much of your life ahead of you. Trust me when I say that you are just starting. There is so much life to live and so much of the world to see. And so far, all you’ve seen is what he has limited you to.

My advice is this. Find what you love again. Revert back to things you enjoyed when you were young. Things you loved before you met him. Whether it be writing, reading, being active, or collecting items. Sometimes figuring this out is trial and error. It wasn't until my early twenties that I knew I could semi write and that it was something I enjoyed doing. Now, I have a fic that people gravitate to. That they find comfort in while I find comfort in them. If you told me at this time last year I would have thought you were crazy. But there truly are better things waiting to you. I promise.

My second advice is this. Talk about your feelings. And if you can't bring yourself to speak, write your feelings out, even if it's only for you to see. Even if it's pages that you will burn. Buy yourself a coffee. Develop a skincare routine. Watch seasons upon season of anime. Do the things you love even if it feels like you don't deserve it. Because, you do.

Please know my asks will always be open to you, as long as my direct messages. If you have not joined the okay, bambi discord my readers made, please do. We have a community there that we would love for you to be a part of. There are always VC calls where we play games or watch movies with each other. Sometimes online friends are better than IRL, especially when you have things in common.

I mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say that I am so proud of you for getting up, for brushing your teeth, and for showering. I am just so proud of you for still existing. Please keep going. Keep pushing. One day you will be able to look back and see all the progress you made you couldn't see before. I love you to the milky way. I hope my advice helps, and if it doesn't, I am sorry. I am still learning the aftermath of being abused and am trying my best to heal too.

I’m not sure if I am making any sense. I wish I had all the answers, but I promise better days are coming than the ones you have endured. You’re so precious. Don’t ever forget that.

[malka-lisitsa]

Dear Boyfriend

It's me I'm the boyfriend

Verse: red string - Theres a few pages of paper torn and crumpled up by his trashcan

Dear Stefan,

This is not the life that I had planned for us. Not by far. I had intended for us to run away together in 1864 and spend the rest of eternity side by side. Us against the world. Immortals who's years together are as endless as our love.

But this is not that story. Forever is much shorter than I had ever intended it to be, and that makes me both angry, and scared. I am finally happy and here I am still scared for the end. The situation is the same, the enemy is just wearing a different face.

A large part of me wants to scream at you. Hate you. Hit you, how dare you do this to me, to us? How dare you wait till I have an expiration date to decide that you care about me again?? How could you? How could you do this to US? WE DIDN'T HAVE TO BE HERE. YOU PUT US HERE. YOU AND FUCKING ELENA.

......but what good does being angry do when I know my time with you is limited? The truth is, Stefan I'm scared. You think I would be used to that feeling by now, that it would be background noise but every day I wake up I am a day older, just like before- only this time it MATTERS. There's no magical fix, (allegedly) there's no way for me to avoid it this time... I am going to wither away and die, and you will look as good that day as you do today.

This isn't fair. How fucking shitty of whatever bullshit forces are out there to finally give me what ive been fighting for for 200 god damn miserable fucking years only to put an expiration date on it??? What the actual fuck did I do to deserve any of this? I just don't understand. All I ever wanted was to be happy, to get my happy ever after. The fucking cruel irony that I'm so scared of it ending that I can't even be blissful about it.

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in your arms and I am so happy..... and then the silence sets in and I remember that this will END one way or another. I don't think you realize how badly this hurts. How terrified I am. I wish love were as powerful as I had imagined it as a kid. Then all it would take to fix this was our love being more powerful than death..... but it's not.

Almost none of this is how I imagined it. How I imagined us. I wanted forever.... I got a forever of what? 20 years looking this good max, and another 40 or 50 looking like a decrepit old hag? Forever went from an eternity to seventy years tops... I'm fragile now, so any time I fall sick or ....straight up fall all of that could be cut short. Not to mention all the people who's shit list I'm on just got a lot easier of a job taking me out.

What is how I imagined it, on the other hand... is how it feels to be in your arms. How it feels to be the one you look at when you think I dont know. How it feels to kiss you. How it feels to hear you whisper I love you when you think Im asleep. How it feels to be tangled up with you in the sheets, how it feels to fall asleep listening to your heart beat.... how it feels to be loved by you. None of that has changed. All of it is still more precious to me than anything you could ever imagine.... all of that is everything a little bulgarian girl wished for on a shooting star in the 1400's... You are my dream come true...

I just wish I was strong enough to be the fearless girl you think I am.

Then I wouldn't be so scared to lose all of this. TO lose us.

Maybe the universe will smile on us and some kind of fix for this pathetic state I'm in will present itself. Maybe I will get to be immortal again and we will have forever... true forever.... of course I'm always going to hope, and fight for that.... for you...

But on the days that I'm too tired to keep fighting. On the says I'm too weak to stand, and I fall to my knees and sob and take all of my fear and anger out on you... I'm sorry. I'm trying... I'm just scared. I've already sat by for 147 years unable to touch you and helpless to watch you live your life without me.... I don't want to do it for eternity on the other side too.... Im just scared Stefan....

So I hope you can forgive me for the days I am a bitch to you. This isn't how I wanted to be... but I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you. Even after I'm gone.

Katherine

[heartate]

lol sorry ANOTHER VENT because the COMEDIC timing men have like i swear sometimes men have this knack of just coming in and fucking shit up at the worst time possible. please ignore me LMAO i just need to scream into the void because i'm so mad!!!!

like you have got to be KIDDING ME. i have a tellonym because it's what the cool kids on ffxiv twitter are doing. i made it with the intention of people sending me questions about cherry, but no one does that so i just gave up and stopped posting about having it. i don't publicly post my answers anymore, but i still answer them in the app when i'm bored, as long as they're not too personal, because most of the questions are from bots. i didn't even realize the ex-situationship knew i had one, because he's barely on his main twitter anymore lmao and i just never followed his gpose twitter bc idk i didn't wanna overstep bc i noticed he made it during a time he wasn't... clueing me into his life anymore even tho we were still... a thing. so out of respect for him, i just left it alone and muted the account so that i wouldn't see it pop up on my feed, because i found out about it to begin with bc a mutual of mine had retweeted a collab gpose they'd done with him.

ANYWAYS. i haven't spoken to him since the 17th bc he stopped answering me and i just felt so annoying and he's been going through it so i figured he'd talk when he was ready, but then the days kept going by, and i wanted to reach out again, but then i stopped myself and said, no, you've done enough of that. all you do is reach out. all you do is give and give and give and you never get. cut that shit out.

so, i haven't.

but i'm so pissed off because you went the MOST roundabout way possible to contact me when you could 1) message me on discord (most convenient) 2) message me on snapchat 3) or even TEXT me because you have my number.

how dare you "even if we can't be together" you are the only thing standing in between that, because i've expressed to you over and over my willingness and my desire to be with you and move forward and be happy with you, and that i'd be willing to wait for you no matter how long it took, and that i'd be happy to move at your pace, but i started to change my feelings on that when i realized how torn up you were over some other girl you barely knew compared to me, how you lied to me, how you went and ruined yourself over someone who treated you like garbage, when i've sat here even after all this time like a stupid idiot pining over your ass and still loving you and just, being so stupidly faithful to someone who's chasing any other girl but the one he said he was in love with for over a year.

you were the one who said i love you first. you asked me for permission to say it first. you were the one who brought up living together all the time. you were the one who started asking about pets and just one child. all of this was your idea, not mine, because i never wanted to overstep and make you feel uncomfortable when i knew you weren't rushing or ready for something official. but you discarded me so quickly for some literal flavor of the month who even your friends think is crazy manipulative. like.

don't you dare say "i will do anything for you if it makes you happy" because i've asked for just a few things: just to spend time with you and chat with you, and the one thing i really want from you, i'll never ask for because i'm not going to make you feel cornered or rope you into a relationship that you don't want. i just. how DARE you come swooping in the moment i decided that i didn't want to keep doing this anymore and keep hurting myself and being sad over you. it's been over three months of this and i cannot keep doing this to myself. i'm so miserable all the time. i have sat here and cried and cried so much and so hard over you for so long, and it hurt so badly that i felt like i could die because it was just so excruciating to feel that hurt. like a normal person's emotions are at a 10 and i'm at 1000 like it hurt. so. much. i cried every day for almost 2 months straight like i was not. okay. and finally, one day i stopped. i was trying to go on, while still holding out hope, but i'm tired of it now. i can't do that again. i can't put myself through that again.

the timing of this is just so. funny to me. it's just. laughable. seriously. the second i tell myself that i give up, that i'm not going to try anymore, that if we never speak again, "oh well." i cannot believe this lol. why is it always when you're drunk too. people say that people are the most honest when they're drunk, but. if you can't say this shit to me when you're sober, then. what's the point. i'm not. putting myself through this anymore. i'm done.

you have shut me out for so long. you don't let me in. why should i lean on you and let you in when you've shown me i can't even rely on that, because when i've asked you if i could talk to you and vent to you about things, you just. leave me hanging and i don't feel better, ever. which makes me feel even more annoying and like i'm too much, and i don't want to put that burden on ppl and u say i'm not one, but i just. feel like one, especially when you just. don't say anything at all. like im not asking for u to process my feelings and like talk in depth about it but like. a little acknowledgement goes a long way for someone like me. idk. it's so stupid. it's so so so stupid and i'm just done. i've spent the past 2 weeks trying to get over myself and move on and then you just come in like this. on TELLONYM of all things. and then just. god.

[elliebear666]

Me, in school, daydreaming instead of paying attention and then getting in trouble for not paying attention.

It's funny, but... being homeschooled catered to my learning style. It was one on one and engaging. I liked almost all of the stuff we studied. It was genuinely interesting. When I got to public school, my grades at first were great and it wasn't terribly hard because, thanks to our homeschool curriculum, I knew most of the shit we were being taught.

However, as I progressed in middle school, my grades steadily declined until I was failing like one class with a D in another and mostly Cs or Bs. It was a nightmare in a few of the classes I was in. I'd daydream or zone out or dissociate. I had a lot of anxiety and, of course, gender dysphoria. I was miserable tbh. Being homeschooled, my mom would take us out to do stuff, she'd show us things and read books to us. She kept us engaged by speaking to us.

I can see how coming to an ADHD (inattentive) diagnosis could be difficult. I mean, there was a lot going on with me.

I think that my persistent day dreaming instead of focusing on the task at hand, forgetfulness, distractibility, and short attention span (unless engaged by something I really liked) are definitely indicative of that, though. I mean, I went through all of this with my psychiatrist. It wasn't like I just said, "So, I think I have ADHD" and he prescribed me strattera. We talked about this for a while.

I mean, I guess my forgetfulness could be chalked up to like dissociation. Like, I'll set down an object, turn around, and then literally forget where I put it. "Out of sight, out of mind." I've been doing this for as long as I can remember. I'm incredibly forgetful and disorganized. I can't manufacture the motivation to clean my room beyond basic tasks that still take a lot of gumption to get going. Like I got in trouble with my landlord because I wasn't keeping my apartment clean. Not because I was like, "I don't want to >:(" but genuinely because it seemed so daunting and overwhelming and difficult, and the very simple matter of manufacturing motivation made it seem impossible. Like, when my friend Lettii would come over, she would help me organize my space because when she'd leave it was nice but within a week or so it was a mess. All my shit is in a big pile in my closet. I have tons of odds and ends I've forgotten about tucked away in a multitude of bags and boxes in my closet.

I forget to change my cat's water, or to change her litter. To feed her, unless I see it is empty and act on it right away, or she wakes me up with her paws in my face.

I used to literally need my mom to remind me every single day to take my medication because I would forget. So I put alarms on my phone. I would still forget. Recently, however, I'm actually surprised at how well I'm doing with my meds. My alarm to take meds goes off and usually within a little while I'd have taken them. This is a development in my life that is actually awesome. It makes me feel so proud of myself lmao, that I can manage my own meds xD

But then there's the matter of bills. Maybe this makes me an absolute pathetic loser, but my mom helps me pay my bills because I keep forgetting. Like, the only reason my rent gets paid on time each month is because she will write the check, hand it to me and say "Go pay it now." The one time that she wrote the check and gave it to me a a day before I was supposed to pay rent, I forgot. It took me four days to realise that the baggy on my TV stand, which is cluttered with countless random objects, had a check in it. So I paid it like three days late and I got another mark on my record.

I literally pay my phone bill late almost every single month. The times I don't get it within four days of the due date, I usually get a message that says, "You need to pay your phone" or my mom says, "Did you pay your phone." I'll say no, and promise to do it when I get home. But I'll have forgotten about it within a few minutes at most. My mom will give me instructions for something, and I'll sometimes need her to repeat it. But about 70-80% of the time, by the time I get to where I need to be to deal with whatever it is I need to deal with, I've forgotten what I need so say. Like I had a thing I was doing a while ago and my mom gave me instructions and naturally I forgot what I was supposed to say so I awkwardly stumbled over my words until they figured out what I needed. They thought it was kind of funny but honestly it was fucking humiliating. I felt like a fucking stupid idiot. To top it off, most of the time I have an appointment, I'm either getting distracted or don't process what they say, or by the time I leave, I've forgotten everything that was said. My mom would ask me how things went and what they said and I'll just say, "I don't remember. I have bits and pieces, but I don't remember."

Like, this isn't a, "Shucks, I can't focus so it must be the ADHD :(" situation. This is a... my forgetfulness, inattentiveness, distractibility, and overall inability to manage my life has culminated in me being dependent on my fucking mom to keep me from becoming homeless lol.

Like this is bad. It isn't just anxiety or depression that makes me forget to pay my bills. I've actually reduced anxiety and depression by an enormous amount. I've transitioned. I'm on hormones. I'm taking my meds. No depressive episodes or mania in months. Only periodic BPD symptoms. And yet I still forget to pay my rent. Like... idk, man

It isn't like I WANT this to be a thing lmao, it isn't cool. It fucking SUCKS. This is absolute fucking ass, y'all. This blows donkey dick. My life is so difficult due my various problems that I genuinely can't function like a normal person.

Like, when I was little, I used to be so inattentive and distracted, whether daydreaming or whatever, that I'd put my dirty underwear in the freezer or the trash instead of in the hamper IN THE OTHER ROOM. Like ALL THE TIME XD. This didn't start in adulthood. So, maybe I was so anxious and depressed and traumatized by my family life. Maybe, sure. I could accept that. I just... I don't think that's what was going on when I was little. Like, most of the trauma came and got worse after those symptoms were noticed.

I told my mom about possibly seeing a psychologist to get an in-depth assessment beyond what I've already gotten and she said that like... well she basically said that my psychiatrist has already done that, and that my history is indicative of that too.

Idk. I get stressed and look for anything that this issue might he besides ADHD, and nothing really tracks. No other issue causes all of these symptoms besides being an absolute fucking idiot.

I mean, both my psychiatrist and my therapist agree on ADD, but again I guess I could go see a psychologist. Idk what that would change. It would be two or so sessions with someone that has never met me before and has no knowledge of my mental health history. They'd probably interview my mom I guess. She could tell them she pays my bills because I'm too stupid to do it myself, I guess. That I used to talk so rapidly and fast as a child that most people couldn't understand me. That I was so forgetful that she constantly made comments about it.

I'm honestly too tired to worry about this right now so I guess I'll just do something else instead of fretting over this shit.

I mean, I'll be fifty and still forgetting to take my brain with me when I leave the house.

[demcnsinmymind]

"No one is starving me!" he was properly yelling now, completely losing himself in his rage. "No one ever will again, do you fucking get that? Now stop. Just. Fucking. Stop."

This time, Lance almost slipped up on the details for real. The fact that they had starved him in there, for god knew how long and until he nearly lost his mind from the hunger. And how this? Right now? Was so fucking far from it that it was almost laughable. But he managed to keep that little bit of info in. Kept it all tight to his chest and clung to it just the way he was holding right on to all that rage.

"I don't want help. I don't need help. This is not about you. Not about scaring you or anything else because there's nothing to be scared of anymore. It's over."

He'll help you too. Matt had told him once. Back in there. Giggling and out of his mind, but speaking the facts anyway. About helping helping helping. Making it better. Making it right.

We can all leave as soon as we're better. That's what Matt had told him, too. Parroting the words of no one other than Friedkin himself. Friedkin, who, just for a moment, seemed to be standing right in front him once more, too. Telling him lies about when he could leave over and over again.

"Well, tough shit because this is exactly what I want. I want to leave. Right now. Now get the fuck out of the way" he pressed out through gritted teeth, words so venomous, spiteful, hateful that they needed out. And with them he needed out too, brushing right past him or her or whofuckingever was standing in front of him right now. And Lance was grabbing that doorknob to twist it already, pull it, use it to swing that door right open so hard that it would slip right off of its hinges...except none of those last few things ever happened. Because here he still was, hand gripping the knob so tight his knuckles turned as white as the coat of paint covering the door. Holding on to that knob for dear life, hearing her say those words. Words that put her back in this room and him back inside it too, back in the right here, right now. With her. Not him. Just the two of them.

I don't want you to just vanish again.

"I never did, you know" Lance said then, voice shaking with not just anger, but also...raw emotion other than anger. "I'm still me. They never managed to make me go away."

"But they did. Vanish. One after the other. First it was Matt. Then Houston. Then T.C. And then Sasha. They all just....vanished" he said, voice breaking with the second name and only getting worse which each one that followed. Sounding utterly heartbroken and in so much pain by the time he reached her name.

"Not me though. I stayed. I was made to stay. But I showed them. Every. Last. One of them. That I could leave. And I did. I got out. I. Fucking. Made it" he explained, only to start laughing, miserably, looking back at her with bloodshot eyes. "But you know what the funny part is? It doesn't matter that I did. Or didn't. In there? Out here? It's all the same." Holding on to that knob. Tighter. Tighter. Tighter still. "I made it out and yet I still can't get away from any of it."

A long, dreadful pause. Swallowing thickly. Starting to choke on the words now. Tears spilling without his say so. Fighting those now too. "I want it all to just vanish. To just leave. But wherever I go...it's still there. It's still fucking there." That anger of course. And the constant need to just keep screaming and screaming at the world. That deep sense of loss too. Of control. Of a future that was stolen from him, that he'll never have even if he were to pursue it again. Made hollow now. Of friendship and lives wasted, too. And that grief. And that guilt. Oh that fucking guilt. So completely irrational because he knew there had been no way for him to anticipate something as utterly fucked up as this, and how fucking hard he had tried to prevent it all from getting worse...and worse.

"And the fucked up part is that it has to be there. Because if it isn't, then it means that I'd be gone, too. That they've won. And I refuse to let them win. Even if it kills me."

The look on his face - making it fairly obvious now. That it does.

"So no. I'm not vanishing, Tyler. This right here is still me. And I won't ever vanish. I can promise you that much."

The flinching should have been enough to make her back off, and no doubt later she’d feel guilty for not doing so, but in that moment there was just too much bubbling up inside for her to be able to reign it in.

“Really? ‘Cause you’re sure as shit actin’ like I am!” Did he really think she’d fall for that? How long did he think she’d sit there waiting for him to come back with a fucking bulb before it sank in? What did he think would happen when it did? “Yeah, I think that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do! You’re supposed to let me give you some damn food before this thing fuckin’ starves you some more, you’re supposed to go back to bed, and you’re supposed to let your friend help you, jackass! You don’t want me to see you like this? Too late. I already did. And guess what? It didn’t scare me off!”

She was about to demand a better explanation for why he wouldn’t stay when his next words hit her like a slap in the face.

I’ve had more than enough of people trying to keep me fucking prisoner.

Ouch. Ouch. That hurt. Oh, that really hurt, and Tyler couldn’t hide it.

“That’s not…” That wasn’t what she was trying to do. She’d never. Not after what had been done to him. Not after what had been done to her.

There were about a hundred other things she wanted to yell at him, but the wind was completely gone from her sails. The anger still bubbled underneath, but for a moment the hurt and sadness were drowning it out. And so she slowly stepped to the side, no longer looking Lance in the eye. Knowing that there was a good chance she’d actually fucking cry if she did.

“I don’t want you to leave.” Her voice was so quiet now, barely more audible than a whisper. “I don’t want you to just vanish again.”

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman groupchat

Warnings: swearing, dark humor, descriptions of toxic relationships, mentions of suicide

(I did em wrong with this one, especially Mikey💀)

Baji: you know what, I'm gonna say it

Draken: I don't care that you broke your elbow

Baji: Mikey and Takemichi have a toxic relationship

Draken: I-

Angry: 😰

Smiley: IS IT FINALLY HAPPENING???

Hakkai: uhm😟

Mitsuya: Baji why do you always start shit

Baji: I won't sit by and let this disaster of a relationship unfold

Takemichi: .....disaster?

Mikey: don't listen to him babe

Mikey: Edward what's your problem lol

Draken: uh maybe we shouldn't have this conversation on chat this is a really bad idea

Baji: i know y'all agree with me. they're not normal

Takemichi: I don't think there's anything wrong with our relationship Baji-kun😕

Smiley: YOU DON'T??

Baji: your relationship is based on ownership, obsession and infatuation, love is not enough to fix THAT

Smiley: 💀

Draken: dude.... stop

Takemichi: how is it based on any of those things??

Mikey: Baji you obviously don't know what you're talking about you look so stupid rn😕

Baji: I may be stupid but I'm not an idiot

Baji: how did they meet? Draken you were there right?

Draken: please don't involve me

Baji: fine, but it was the "Starting from today you're my bitch❤️"

Baji: Takemichi had no choice in that matter

Mikey: Baji don't start a war you can't win

Mikey: If you want me to bring up receipts I will

Mikey: do you want me to start with you and Kazutora or you and Chifuyu??🤨

Baji: you literally almost beat him to death several times

Baji: dark impulses my ass. GET HELP

Smiley: this is so entertaining

Draken: guys please do this in private

Mitsuya: yeah fr this is so awkward

Baji: don't piss me off rn guys

Baji: and you guys are obsessed with each other it's not normal

Baji: like Mikey I know you're a traumatized mentally ill individual, but this ain't it

Takemichi: Mikey didn't do anything wrong

Smiley: funny thing is, I heard you say that standing over the body of someone Mikey killed

Mikey: didn't Chifuyu's face almost cave in because your other boyfriend told you to beat him up??? who is now in prison because HE TRIED TO KILL YOU???

Baji: idk what they gotta do with, this you're reaching

Baji: and I love how you haven't even denied any of these accusations

Mitsuya: please just shut the fuck up

Baji: when are you gonna tell Hakkai you used to be in love with Draken

Mitsuya: can't believe you said that actually

Mitsuya: should've stayed dead I can't believe this

Draken: huh

Draken: what

Hakkai: ....what

Mitsuya: key word is USED TO

Draken: what

Angry: why can't we all just get along and be friends

Smiley: ....don't talk, okay? it's for your own good

Angry: .....okay

Draken: Mitsuya what are they talking about

Mitsuya: .....uhm

Mitsuya: uhhh

Mitsuya: ngl fam, I don't know what to tell you

Mitsuya: like it was a long time ago and now I'm in a relationship with someone I love plus I got over it cause you're straight so

Mitsuya: this is awkward oh my god

Smiley: Baji killing relationships like he killed Shinichiro

Baji: why do you always bring that up

Smiley: it's funny seeing you in despair

Mikey: careful, he might go on a suicide mission again and then accidentally trigger his boyfriends mental illness and PTSD and ultimately fail miserably and die

Baji: I didn't fail that day, Kazutora's still alive so it was a win for me

Smiley: you call that a win????💀

Smiley: he was given a 10 year sentence 💀

Baji: I didn't press charges so it's only 5

Takemichi: I still don't understand Baji-kuns argument, me and Mikey are perfect for each other

Smiley: man, poor Hina

Draken: wait can we backtrack a little I think I misunderstood something

Mitsuya: shit I forgot to water my cats brb

*Mitsuya has left the chat*

Draken: ......

Draken: I wish we could have normal conversations