#you can't stand still; no matter how miserable you are there's shit you got to do

[medicinemane]

Seriously, it would be a mercy to kill me. I'm begging for help dying. Do you not see why it's fucking torture to keep my alive while living with her? I'll never escape her, like there's just no practical way to make it happen

And yet, till I get my act together and find a way to die already, show must go on

[livelaughpeg]

I'm writing this from a throwaway account, because you know...Scientology.

I want to preface this post by saying I am not one of those "I knew it all along!" people. I can't stand that attitude. I was pretty ambivelant towards Neil Gaiman. Prior to the allegations, I didn't hate him but I wasn't that interested in him as a person either. I don't think you can always tell when someone is a bad or good person simply by the topics they write about. If that was the case we'd be arresting every horror writer on earth.

But one thing that did always rub me up the wrong way was the way he talked about getting work.

I borrowed and read "Make Good Art" (a small book based on a speech he gave to graduates at the University of the Arts) at a time in my life that I was really struggling to get by (I still am to some extent, but in a different way). I expected to see some practical advice. Instead it was a bunch of glib shit like:

I got out into the world, I wrote, and I became a better writer the more I wrote, and I wrote some more, and nobody ever seemed to mind that I was making it up as I went along, they just read what I wrote and they paid for it, or they didn’t, and often they commissioned me to write something else for them. Looking back, I’ve had a remarkable ride. I’m not sure I can call it a career, because a career implies that I had some kind of career plan, and I never did. The nearest thing I had was a list I made when I was 15 of everything I wanted to do: to write an adult novel, a children’s book, a comic, a movie, record an audiobook, write an episode of Doctor Who… and so on. I didn’t have a career. I just did the next thing on the list.

Life is sometimes hard. Things go wrong, in life and in love and in business and in friendship and in health and in all the other ways that life can go wrong. And when things get tough, this is what you should do. Make good art. I’m serious. Husband runs off with a politician? Make good art. Leg crushed and then eaten by mutated boa constrictor? Make good art. IRS on your trail? Make good art. Cat exploded? Make good art. Somebody on the Internet thinks what you do is stupid or evil or it’s all been done before? Make good art. Probably things will work out somehow, and eventually time will take the sting away, but that doesn’t matter. Do what only you do best. Make good art.

Yeah, well, no shit. If you're a writer or artist you probably do anyway. Whether you get paid for it or not, whether you draw fan art or original art. But the point of Gaiman's speech was to give advice to people who wanted to be paid for their art. To make a career of it. Making art every day isn't always enough. You have to pay the damn rent, you have to eat, you have to network and do social media and promote yourself, and you have to do it while thousands of other people are doing the same thing in a massive crowd of people who want the same thing. Practical advice is much more valuable than platitudes and theory.

I am not a writer, I'm an illustrator, and let me tell you that for most people, 'getting your foot in the door' isn't a one time thing. Quite often you have to work at getting your foot in the door again and again until you become established, and it's very easy to be forgotten. I still feel like I'm in that stage now.

I watched my peers, and my friends, and the ones who were older than me and watch how miserable some of them were: I’d listen to them telling me that they couldn’t envisage a world where they did what they had always wanted to do any more, because now they had to earn a certain amount every month just to keep where they were. They couldn’t go and do the things that mattered, and that they had really wanted to do; and that seemed as a big a tragedy as any problem of failure.

The implication was that he was successful because he wrote every day and his friends weren't because they didn't, because you know, working a second job is tiring. He called this a tragedy, but there was something very glib about the way he narrated this.

I think someone had more financial cushion that he was letting on.

And yes, sometimes it does work that way, (some people are very lucky and make all the right connections) but Gaiman was getting Big Jobs right off the bat and something about that never smelt right to me after the way he talked about it.

And then I saw Jeff's tweets. Oh, that's why...

I suspect the truth is he was living off his family's money and connections, and while I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that if you're a struggling artist, his family are Scientologists, and I don't think he ever struggled.

I suspect it's all a lie.

[weebsinstash]

Yandere Alastor having a huge alcoholic meltdown before deciding to take you back is making me crazyyyyyy because like. He sees you crying because you see him spiraling and takes it as confirmation you still love him and need him!!! Sure those scoundrels led you astray but you’re clearly miserable, he just needs to intervene more firmly this time for your his own good, no matter what you say.

One thing that really does it for me is the concept of, he's having an intense public breakdown for, WEEKS, MONTHS even, just spiraling spiraling spiraling, every time you think he's hit his lowest, you hear something worse: being drunk in public, starting fights over perceived disrespect, being extremely hostile and standoffish to those who try to speak to him, AVOIDING ROSIE, like....honey you destroyed this man

and then... all it takes to knock some sense into him is Vox showing you up on the big screen for Alastor to see, the Radio Demon watching you look upon his image with legitimate concern and PITY, like you're looking at a puppy being kicked or something. He hadn't seen your face (in person anyways) in what feels like AGES and then he finally sees his precious beloved beau again and you're. Crying, FOR him, BECAUSE of him. You're crying and that dirty nasty flat faced capitalist bastard is mocking you for all of Hell to see and THAT is something Alastor won't tolerate

Can you even imagine like. It becomes too much, you're crying and getting taunted by Vox and Alastor is like VISIBLY SHAKEN by the sight of you, amd, you just feel too much guilt, you run off absolutely sobbing and don't even see if Alastor manages to sober himself up enough to stand before you do. You just can't watch, it's torture. Which also leaves you completely unaware of how seeing your image seemingly renewed the absolutely WASTED Radio Demon's strength. You spend several days curled up in bed, refusing to watch TV or get on your phone, but, wait, doing your word searches and crossword puzzles or playing solitaire just makes you think of Alastor too--

Meanwhile he's like absolutely tearing through Hell personally tracking down every man you've so much as blown a kiss at behind his back and, well... you know what he's known for. These men might not have even known you were the Radio Demon's piece and are begging for their lives, but Alastor doesn't care. They've defiled you. They've tainted you. They've dirtied you with their disgusting grimey pig hands. There's no taking that back. If he can't exactly reach into their minds and remove their memories of seeing your exposed body, hearing your wanton noises, then, Alastor will just have to remove their minds from their heads entirely, won't he? Brain is such a tasty organ meat.

I just. The mental image of Alastor finally coming to fetch you and he finds you in like. the worst situation possible and I mean that. He's either finding you drunk in the gutter yourself because you started binge-drinking because of how seeing him Like That made you feel, OR, he's finding you getting railed in a sex club. I mean it. I want this man kicking down a door because he's finally coming to take you back and he thinks his precious boo is being tormented by gross men and you're like, a willing participant in a Czech reverse gloryhole. I want this man absolutely convinced you need him to survive and he walks in on you doing something that strikes him as so WILD that it instantly confirms WHATEVER INSANE THEORIES he had. I want a yandere Alastor who got cheated on because he never wanted sex (or, needed to become attached to you enough to want it and you lost patience before he reached that point) and he sees you cheat on him, dump him, and immediately run headfirst into the wildest kinkiest craziest shit to the point he thinks you're having a mental health crisis and, oh honey clearly this is HIS FAULT. He didn't... cater to all of your needs, so you sought out men who could. It's not YOUR fault these, DISGUSTING PIGS would take advantage of you, which is CLEARLY what happened!

But anyways, oh no no, don't worry darling! He's been doing a lot of self reflecting on himself and his feelings and --ignore the tentacle climbing up your leg -- and he's been thinking a lot about what to do about your... apparently very rigorous physical needs and --yes there ARE multiple tentacles starting to kind of grope all over you but you're not focusing on the conversation, dear-- and Alastor thinks he's found a solution that should.... DEEPLY satisfy both of your desires :) now, all you have to do is relax and allow him to show you the fruits of all the "anatomy research" he's been doing recently...

[phantoms-lair]

BnHAxFFXIV

When Katsuki got home to see his Mom sobbing on the phone he feared the worst.

He couldn't help but remember seeing her the same way, the day she got the news that Inko and Izuku had been attacked by a villain and no one could find them. Her later reactions had been anger. Anger when the police gave up, anger when Midoriya Hisashi didn't even show up for their funeral. Anger when she found out about everything he'd done.

But the reaction that stuck in his brain first was the raw grief, too strong for anger to get any foothold in. His mother sobbing and screaming and unable to even stand without his father supporting her. And seeing her crying on the couch brought him that to that moment.

He looked around, his Dad wasn't anywhere to be found. Had something happened to him? Was he in an accident? Was he going to make it?

His mother must have seen his face because she laughed. "They're happy tears, brat."

Bakugou let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "You scared the life out of me, old hag!" he barked.

She laughed again. "They found them, Katsuki. They're home!"

"Who's home?" he asked, still a little harshly as a result of the scare.

"Inko and Izu-kun! They're home!" And Katsuki felt the ground fall out beneath his feet.

~

When the news broke, Katsuki hadn't had much reaction at first. He didn't care that much about Deku, but he was worried about Auntie. And the longer it took, the more hope was lost, and he started to feel the fear that Auntie was...gone.

And then he heard the comment in the hall of school "Dad says it's good the Midoriya woman is dead, so she can't create anymore quirkless kids." And he'd lost it.

His parents had been called into the principal's office for his attacking the kid with his quirk. He told them what he said and his parents were immediately on his side. It got bitter and his Mom seemed on the brink of repeating his attack on the kid's father when the principal decided it was enough and announced that Katsuki could find a different school. And that was fine with his parents. What the Principal failed to recognize was Katsuki didn't just get his temper from his parents, but his intelligence. The Bakugou's had influence, money, and an indomitable will for vengeance. His Mom had pumped him for every detail about how Izuku was treated at Aldera Elementary, and that revealed his own actions toward Izuku. The Deku name, the bullying, all of it.

He hadn't realized at the time what he was saying was wrong. He knew his Mom was angry, but assumed it was at the school. He didn't realize it was at him at first. Not until he accidently heard her cry again, and telling Dad the only mercy in the whole thing was that Auntie had died before she found out Katsuki was one of the people who made her life miserable.

And Katsuki was confused because he'd never done anything to Auntie, just Deku. It took longer than he'd admit for him to figure out he hadn't been acting like a hero. He'd been becoming a villain. Izuku's villain. He was a bully and a bigoted asshole. And he'd never be able to make it up to the person that mattered most. Apologies to a shrine or grave meant nothing, in the long run.

He thought to give up his dream of being a hero, but in the end decided the best way to honor Izuku was to be a hero. Not the Number 1 slot he'd aimed for before, but a hero who would actually help people. He stood where Izuku once had, between those who would hurt others and their victims. And hopefully, it would be enough.

But now...now Izuku was back. And Katsuki could apologize for real. He was as excited as he was terrified. He'd always wanted to but...there was no guarantee Izuku would forgive him. He had no reason to, after all.

But either way the first thing out of his mouth was going to be an apology. He had a shit ton to apologize for and he was going to do it, even if Izuku and Auntie hated him for forever. As they arrived at the hospital and made their way to the Midoriya's room, he rehearsed what he was going to say in his mind. Every variance to every word. This was going to be the best apology ever!

His mother knocked and he felt a lump on his throat as a voice he neve thought he'd ever hear again said 'Come in!'. His Dad opened the door, he stepped inside and met his former victim's eyes.

"Izuku I-Why the fuck are you a cat?!"

Katsuki clamped his hand over his mouth, but at least Izuku was laughing.

"Do you like it better?" Izuku asked.

Katsuki narrowed his eyes. "Do you?"

Hesitantly Izuku nodded.

"Then to Hell with what I think. It's your body. If you're happier than it's better."

Izuku's eyes widened. "Thanks Kaachan."

Kaachan. He never thought he'd hear that name again. "Just the truth Izkun."

How they hell had he forgotten how much the nerd could cry??? They were going to flood the hospital room at that rate.

[capn-twitchery]

hi this is @neathyingenue! your drawing of lt. grace and capt. twitchery was so dynamic and i would love to know more about their relationship if you'd like to share 👀

OHOHO rubs my hands together--you've activated my trap card >:3 (also thank you sm!! :D♥︎) SO-

short answer: their relationship is a complicated nightmare at best, and it changes a ton over time. they meet in weird circumstances, things stay weird for a long time, & they end up "together." what that means, i have no idea, bc i think they would die before they talked about it or said they were Actually Dating

long answer: they meet when twitch rescues a very nearly dead grace from the arctic. twitch thinks this poor guy looks very haunted, which is apparently interesting enough for them to reroute the entire ship so they have an extra couple months to hound him for secrets.

upon getting back to london, they want nothing more to do with eachother: twitch got all the secrets they could, grace wants to get far away from this weirdo, preferably as soon as possible, thanks

so they part ways, for a while. grace starts working with the constables (he thinks he can help people there. poor guy) they keep giving him the unwanted jobs: drag bodies back home, sort the paperwork, stand guard outside the cells because this new inmate is chatty and it's annoying everybody else and-oh, it's twitch. of course it is.

they get talking, since there's nothing else to do, and twitch is Very Persistent. they strike a deal: grace can use his connections to get twitch on the good side of the legal records, and in return, twitch will give him free zee trips when he needs it. twitch thinks this will be basically never, since grace has nothing going on, right? so they got the better end of this deal for sure-what do you mean he's on an unhinged revenge mission to murder a fucking master of the bazaar? oh, they have got to see this.

grace is too reluctant to zail himself, has no other contacts & doesn't know anything about the neath. twitch is his only real, consistent source, and they want to see & know everything about how it's going-- this is like the most interesting story in the world to them! so they're spending a lot of time together. a weird amount of time together, really, for two people who don't spend lots of time around any one person in particular.

and it's...kind of fun? sure, twitch is very unreliable, their weirdness is still offputting to grace, sometimes-- but less than it used to be. they're nicer than he gave them credit for, smarter, and their enthusiasm is infectious. and grace is very helpful, it turns out, and it's nice to have company in the captain's cabin, and making him smile instead of looking miserable all the time starts to feel kind of like an accomplishment, and- oh, no.

they both react to their feelings about as well as you would expect: ignore them! or in twitch's case, ask the ship's surgeon to surgically remove them (and get refused. cruel.) they both deny their feelings for a long time. it could never work anyway, right? they're far too different.

except, not really. grace later finishes nemesis, and after parting (somwhat bitterly) with twitch & a brief stint at the grand geode, he realises maybe the laws here fucking suck, actually--maybe he doesn't need to uphold them to help people. lucky for him, twitch has a hell of a rivalry with the admiralty & it's only a matter of time before they cross paths again. he deserts the admiralty in the midst of a naval battle, onto twitch's ship.

til i give either of them an ending, they stay together from that point--at least, as much as they want to. old habits die hard--twitch still likes zailing off to do weird shit, twitch is still a criminal, grace is very much not (more of a vigilante, i guess.) they still can't talk about what they are, they still clash sometimes. but they make it work! captain & (honorary) first mate.

(& twitch's crew breathe a sigh of relief. bc they've been waiting for their emotional brick wall of a captain to semi admit it for at least a year)

[averageanonymous]

Summary: Aziraphale is gone, but Crowley finds himself back at the Bookshop

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Even after Aziraphale returns to Heaven, Crowley still visits the bookshop. He blames the Bentley for taking him there, but for all his protest, it doesn't stop him from going inside on his own two feet.

He finds himself standing in the entry, looking around like he's just woken up and doesn't quite know where he is or how he got there. It's so quiet. Part of him expects that any moment he will see Aziraphale come around a shelf, or down the stairs, a smile shining on his face, blue eyes bright with laughter. His voice echoes in the silence:

'Well, are you going to just stand there?'

Crowley steps down, wanders aimlessly, running a hand over the spines of books, looking idly at papers and other odds and ends left on desks. Untouched. As though the angel has just stepped out, and he'll be back in only a moment. It's like the bookshop is holding its breath, waiting. Then again, maybe it's him that's waiting.

He sits in Aziraphale's chair, taking his glasses off and setting them on the desk. He sighs, rubbing his eyes to chase away the sting of emotions he's been keeping at bay. He's not sure what he's doing. He shouldn't be here. The memories hurt. And there are so many... Too many to recall them all, but oh how his cursed mind tries, leafing through them one by one like so many pages of a forgotten journal.

It's a horrible disparity, the peace, the contentment, the happiness in those memories, overshadowed now by the pain of losing Aziraphale. Like he's lost everything else. He lets out a sharp breath as it washes over him again, suffusing him with every breath he takes.

He supposes that, perhaps, it was always going to be this way. Perhaps it was just a matter of time. Angels and demons... What sort of future could they have ever had, really. Maybe there was only room in God's ineffable plan for one pair of subverted expectations. After all...what was it they'd said? Ah, right. Once makes a good story; twice makes it seem like an institutional problem.

Crowley slouches deeper into the chair. He wishes he could just stop feeling so damn much.

'It's alright, my dear, to let go,' the angel who isn't there whispers to him. He can almost feel a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I don't want to let go," Crowley growls.

'But... you're miserable...' The voice sounds like it's the one who's miserable.

"I'm a demon," Crowley says to the empty shop, "Miserable is part of the job description."

'Oh, Crowley - '

"STOP." Crowley snaps, his temper flaring dangerously. He uncoils from the seat and paces the room. His voice is raw, crackling with energy, "That is enough. You don't get to go back to Heaven, leave me behind, and then give me this shit about being miserable and letting go. This was your damn choice. You're the one who let go. Don't tell me to let go of... I can't let go -" His pacing takes him to a pillar, and he presses his head against it to stop the pounding behind his eyes. His throat aches for wanting to scream and scream until there's nothing left in him to feel this.

"Mr...Crowley?"

Crowley's head whips up. Muriel is standing in the bookshop entryway.

"I thought I heard someone shouting in here," they say. Their voice is just chipper enough to set his teeth on edge.

"I was just leaving," he mutters, stalking back to the desk and shoving his glasses back into place.

"Oh, you don't have to!" Muriel cries, "You're always welcome here. Aziraphale told me-"

"Shut it," Crowley hisses at them as he shoves past, "Whatever he said, keep it to yourself."

"...I guess, if that's what you want..." Muriel turns, gaze following him as he reaches the door. They debate saying anything more and abruptly call just as Crowley steps out, "You should know, I think he's pretty miserable... without you, I mean."

Crowley hesitates for only a moment, and Muriel thinks they hear him say, "I guess that makes two of us." Then the bookshop door closes behind him.

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Thanks for reading ☺️

[moonsromance]

☕ his rants are some of their faves to listen to. go off, vi

‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. @byanyan. meme. still accepting!

❝You know, Byan, don't let anyone play Pain Olympics with you.❞ He poured tea for the both of them—the good stuff with orange peel, marshmallow root, and nutmeg. A custom blend from the one golden tin tucked in the back of a corner kitchen cabinet. ❝One thing I can't stand is someone that just can't let other people feel how they feel, all because they're too miserable to pull their head out of their own ass from all of the self-pitying, pathetic navel gazing. Like, it's sickening. I—hold on.❞

Virote pardoned himself and padded his way across the sleek floors of the room for a box of sweet coconut crackers, sliding the sleeve out of the box and placing it on the table when he returned. Virote sat back down. ❝Misery loves company, but don't let anyone tell you that your life could be worse. Aren't those types, like, fuckin' annoying? You know? You could break both arms, be rightfully upset about the injury, and then here comes Dumbshit McSadpants in a full body cast, ready to tell you that it could be worse. They're the one in true pain.

Like, yeah, of course you're in pain. So am I. We both got hit by cars, so what's with the contest? People are so obsessed with making it a show. Who has it worse, whose pain is more valuable, where does this pain scale in the grand scheme of things. As if that matters. It doesn't! On the flip side, Byan, if you ever find yourself comparing your pain to someone else's... Don't. That's a nasty trap. We, as emotional beings, will never get better unless we stop doing shit like that. We're all just flops in our flop era... In Floptropica. All I know is, if I start feeling worse than I already do, I'm gonna start smoking meth.❞

[angelsanarchy]

Alone Together - Eddie/OC One-Shot Series PRT 26

taglist: @thetenthdoctorscompanion @siriuslymooned @samwilsonnsnns @kathaaaaaaa

Eddie had to keep himself busy all day. Dani was supposed to come home today and he had missed the hell out of her. After talking to Wayne, he talked with the boys about his plan to ask Dani on a real date. They were all supportive and gave him a bunch of shit for taking so long but the whole gang was happy for him. No matter how much they tried to talk him down and explain that Dani felt the same way, he was still terrified to ask her out.

Eddie was running late for band practice, trying to get everything loaded up in his van as fast as humanly possible didn't mean shit if the van wouldn't start.

He had called and let Gareth know what he was doing and he said if he didn't hear from him in the next 20 minutes, they would practice tomorrow instead. Eddie couldn't help but be frustrated. He had way too much on his mind to focus on fixing the van right now.

He thought he heard a familiar car puttering down the street towards the driveway but when the door slammed, he lifted his head from under the hood.

There she was. Her hair almost looked a little darker, her cheeks were rosy and she smiled widely as soon as their eyes met. Eddie dropped the wrench in his hand as Dani started sprinting towards him. She jumped into his chest and he lifted her off the ground into a tight hug.

"Fuck I missed you." Eddie took in her scent as she squeezed him tightly.

"I missed you too!" Dani's legs were wrapped so tightly around Eddie, she had no plans of letting him go. When she finally sat back and looked at him, she smiled. Without much thought, she leaned forward and kissed him hard on the lips. Eddie's chest tensed feeling how hard his heart was beating and he kept his grip tight on her. Eddie stumbled back into the van and she pulled away from him so she could put her legs back on the ground.

"I need to talk to you about something...it's important." She sounded out of breath. Eddie felt like he had been gut checked.

"Y-yeah I gathered that." Eddie swallowed. She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the trailer, noticing his uncles truck wasn't in the driveway she was excited to finally see him, feel him, talk to him.

"Look I want to talk to you too-" Eddie heard her close the door behind herself but as he turned around she practically tackled him into the wall with another kiss. This time he was equally not prepared but responded with his lips against hers instead of standing there like an idiot. He cupped her face in his hands and pulled away.

"Wait wait wait...I have to tell you something Dani. It's important." Eddie needed to tell her. He needed her to know how he felt.

"I love you...I mean I'm in love with you and I want-" she cut him off.

"to have sex?" She questioned making his eyes go wide and jaw slack.

"Um...okay..I feel like we fast forwarded through something." Eddie clasped his hands together and Dani laughed. She walked over to the couch and patted the spot next to her. He sat down confused and she just stared for a minute.

"There wasn't a minute where I wasn't thinking about you while I was gone. That phone call that we had, that's the only thing that got me through my mom's stupid crap. I just kept thinking about this moment. Finally seeing you and just putting it all on the table." Dani explained.

"Y-yeah?" Eddie croaked.

"Yeah." She reached out and took his hands into her own.

"I guess that's a good thing because I was miserable the entire time you were gone. Everyone kept saying how much of a mopey dick I've been and kept telling me I needed to man up and finally tell you...that I'm stupid in love with you. It's more than being best friends or friends that dry hump in my van. I can't stop thinking about you Dani. I want to be with you all the time, I want to do cute shit like go on dates and have you wear my clothes and hold your hand at school." Eddie blushed looking at their hands together.

"I know you don't like labels-" He started nervously.

"Oh shut up and ask me to be your girlfriend already." Dani blurted. Eddie looked up surprised and smirked.

"You wanna be my girlfriend, Murillo?" Eddie teased.

"Yes I do." She pulled on his hands as they were locked into her own and kissed him. This time when he let go of her hands, he put them on her cheeks and pushed her to lay on her back, hovering over her so he didn't crush her. She pulled away suddenly and he leaned up to look down at her.

"What's wrong?" He asked concerned.

"I want to have sex with you...like right now." She pressed.

"I mean I'm totally down for all that but don't you want to like make it special...go on a date or something first?" He asked. Dani wasn't like the other girls he had slept with. She was special to him. She was his girlfriend now and he wanted her to know how much she meant to him.

"It is special because it's with you." She pushed his hair away from his face and he smiled sweetly.

"We can wait if you-" Eddie cut her off.

"Fuck no!" He lifted her off her feet and practically ran back to his bedroom while she laughed, holding on for dear life. He place her down on the bed gently and resumed kissing her with fervor this time. He pulled away and looked down at her for a moment to smile.

"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted this?" Eddie asked stroking the side of her face. Dani smiled at him.

"Why didn't you say anything? We could have been doing this for months." She teased. Eddie let out a laugh and shook his head.

"I was scared. You're my best friend...you're the best thing that's ever happened to me in this shitty town. I didn't want to ruin it." Eddie explained shyly. Dani touched his cheek and sat up on his bed.

She pulled her shirt over her head and Eddie's eyes went wide. Without giving him a second to process, she pulled her bra off too tossing it and leaving her topless in his gaze.

"You couldn't ruin this if you tried Munson." Dani reached out and pulled Eddie back on top of her and he let his hands roam her breasts, squeezing them and rolling her nipple between his thumb and finger. She ran her hands up his back and he let her pull his shirt over his head.

Dani ran her hands over his chest and let her fingers linger over his tattoos. She had seen them before but she had never been able to touch them.

"You're so fucking beautiful." Eddie ran his tongue down her neck, leaving behind little nibbles that made her groan. He felt her hands on his belt buckle and paused. She smiled reassuringly at him and he blushed.

"Eddie Munson, are you blushing?" Dani teased.

"Well I never really thought we would get here, you know." Eddie touched her hands and she sat up in front of him.

"Do you want to stop..." He rolled his eyes at her and she chuckled.

"Okay that was a dumb question. Are you just shy?" She asked kissing the skin of his chest, letting her tongue run across the ink of his tattoos as she brushed her fingertips over his happy trail. Eddie's eyes closed and he let his jaw run slack at the feeling. This felt so much different than any other time he's had sex. This felt intense.

"Do you think I could steer for a bit?" He asked letting his hands rest on her hips. She kissed him quickly before laying on her back and letting him take control. He laid his body atop Dani's, resuming his kisses, trailing them down her breasts, over the scars of her stomach from surgeries, to the hem of her jeans. He pulled the jeans and the panties down in one fell swoop and Dani moaned loudly the moment his lips attached to her clit. His eyes shot up to look at her as she writhed beneath him and she gripped her breasts tightly in her hands trying to contain the feelings Eddie was pulling from her.

"Oh God! Eddie." Dani looked down and watched him lap at her pussy so well she wanted to cry. Her hips jerked when his fingers entered her and she swiveled her hips down onto them.

"You're so fucking wet for me, beautiful. Tell me how good it feels, how good I make you feel." Eddie wanted so badly to make her cum like this. He wanted to hear her moan his name and taste her orgasm on his tongue. He kept his fingers at a steady pace and she continued to whine curses, biting her lip to keep from being loud.

"You make me feel so fucking good. I'm gonna cum, fuck Eds, I'm gonna cum." It came out like a cry but when she did cum, Eddie made sure to lick her clean until she practically trapped his head between her knees from being overstimulated.

Eddie sat back on his knees letting Dani catch her breath. She looked at him as he surveyed her laying exposed completely on his bed and smiled.

"I'm taking those fucking pants off now." She scrambled to get her hands back on his belt and he laughed letting her undo the buckle. He took a handful of her ass cheeks in his hands and squeezed as she tried to yank his jeans down but was unsuccessful.

"I might need to take these off myself." Eddie slid off the bed and stood as he pushed his jeans and boxers to the floor and stepped out of them. His cock was hard as it slapped against the middle of his stomach and Dani grinned.

"Shy my ass." She crawled towards him and he shook his head at her, tensing as he watched her lick her palm and slide it down his cock.

"Listen, I would love for you to...return the favor but I'm not going to last long and I want the first time I cum with you to be inside of you." Eddie explained and Dani put her arms around his neck.

"Inside of me? That kind of sounds romantic." She teased but he leaned his head against hers.

"You know I love you right? Like over the moon, sell baby if it made you happy kind of love..." Eddie pressed and Dani put her hands on his face.

"I love you too Eddie...and I would never ask you to sell baby." She kissed him sweetly, tasting herself on his tongue. She let him lay her on her back again, feeling the weight of him resting against her belly as he settled on top of her.

"Are you ready? I don't want to hurt you-" Eddie started looking between their bodies feeling Dani's hand grip him and guide his cock towards her entrance.

"Oh..-Fuck." Eddie felt her pussy pulling him in tightly and he tried to remain as still as possible. Dani didn't move, seeing him trying to keep his composure. She stroked the muscles in his arms until he lifted his head to look into her eyes.

"You're going to be the fucking death of me, Murillo." He was practically shaking.

"What a way to go out then." She smiled kissing his forearm tattoo. Once he was able to move, he pushed his hips forwards and Dani let her head fall back. She felt full and the burn of the stretch made her dig her nails into his arms. He went slowly trying not to let this moment be over too quickly. He couldn't look down at her face without wanting to cum so he tried to keep his eyes shut as he moved, listening to her moans, preaching his name like she was in church asking for forgiveness. Sex had never been like this for him.

He finally dare to look at her and she staring at him as his thrusts started to pick up speed. She pulled the front of his guitar pick necklace until he was close enough to kiss her as he moved.

"Eddie." She licked his bottom lip groaned grabbing a hold of his ass and wrapping her legs around him to pull him deeper. He let out a surprised groan and started thrusting at a sloppy pace trying to reach his orgasm.

"Oh fuck Dani! FUCK!" He released inside of her and felt his vision white out for a moment as he whined out moans. His arms gave out and he tried not to crush her but he couldn't move. His legs felt like jelly and just feeling his dick go soft inside of her made him shiver.

He hadn't remembered falling asleep but when he awoke, Dani was staring at him, now wearing one of his old band tanks and panties. He grinned at her and she could see the blush on his cheeks.

"You passed out almost immediately." Dani teased and Eddie turned to bury his face into the pillow.

"I was overwhelmed with emotions and comatose by your feminine wiles, at least I made you cum once." Eddie mumbled into the pillow embarrssed.

"Twice actually." Dani laughed stroking his back and resting her head next to his so he would look at her.

"No regrets?" He asked letting his hand rest on her naked thigh. She leaned forward and kissed him.

"Not a single one." Dani pushed the hair off his face and he smiled.

"This feels like a dream. I don't want to leave this bed. I don't want the world to fuck this up." Eddie pulled her closer to him and she rested her head against his chest.

"Nothing is going to fuck this up. You've got me and I've got you." Dani reassured Eddie as he held onto her.

"Beauty and the Freak..." He teased making her laugh.

"Hey, you're my freak." She joked and Eddie licked his lips seeing how sincere she was being. That's how Eddie knew he was falling in love with Dani. The way she looked at him was unlike anyone else. She saw something in him that made him want to be better, do better and make a future possible.

"And you're my girl." He responded kissing her once more and getting lost in the feeling of their limbs being tangled up in one another, laying in the middle of his bed. He was going to fight with his life to protect what he and Dani had.

[jaegersmoon]

aim,

when it feels like the current world is collapsing on you, what do you do to escape?

OB is genuinely such a safe space for me. im 18yo rn and i'm going through the shit y/n went through almost word for word. i'm stuck in my shitty home town. my dad's an ass, but one good thing is i was able to break up w my porco. i thought it'd make me feel much happier and in a way it does, but the trauma he left behind will still fucking linger till the end of time and that's what hurts sm.

i feel like i'm stuck in a pithole. i really really need someone to tell me it gets better bc i feel so alone rn. whatever asshole told u that ur writing is not good is clearly wrong because ur fic was literally my safe space. safer than the 'friends' ive known for years. safer than my ex. safer than even my own dad. i love u <33

Trigger warning: Abusive relationships.

First, I want to say that I am so proud of you for feeling like you could come to my tumblr and talk about this.

I'm choked up writing this because of how sorry I am that you have endured what you have. Know that I admire you for pushing through every single day, even when you don't want to. Even when it's easier to give up than stand up. It pains me to know that I can't snap my fingers and make it all better for you. If I could, I would because I know how hard and painful it is to experience what you are right now. I see you, and I hear you, and I am listening.

I understand your trauma, and I want you to know that what you are feeling at this stage of your life is common. Your relationship wasn’t normal. You experienced things that no one ever should. It's unfair because you are stuck dealing with something within you that was placed there by the hands of others while all you ever tried to do was love. The things you went though altered your brain chemistry in a way that not everyone can understand unless they have been through something similar. It changes the way you see things, the way you see yourself, and how you live.

"No one talk about how hard it is to recover from abuse love after the abuser is gone."

He took pieces of you with him. That is what people like Porco do. It is how they live, how they breathe, and how they strive. It's sick, and it's twisted, and devastating. They make you feel like you are the darkness that will damage all things you touch, when in reality it’s them. They are like leeches who only live when they are stripping you of who you used to be and making you feel like you will never be worth more than what they make you feel like you are. They are miserable people who want nothing more than to make sure you are miserable too.

You got away. You broke free from him. That's what matters. Not the time lost or the things you wish you could go back and change. I am so proud of you because you made the impossible possible for yourself. You saw you were worth more than what you were faced with and you did something about it. That is huge progress in itself. It takes so much to be able to do that and you did. Now you have the power to take your life back and build yourself better.

Healing, in general, is an agonizing process but especially when you are trying to recover from abuse of any kind, whether it be physical, emotional, or mental. It is not linear. There is not right or wrong way. Some days it feels like you are on the hilltops with all the progress you’ve made, while others, it feels like you are stuck in the same exact place you were when you left him. It's like grief in that way.

It is normal when you are coming out of something like this to feel like you are stuck in a pit. It's the way it is when the abuser leaves. I blocked things out that I didn't remember happened to me until a couple of months ago. There are things I can't talk about to others, not to my best friends, not to my family. Because it is scary admitting things out loud, you can barely even admit it to yourself. I am saying this because even if you are still dealing with trauma, if there are still trauma responses, your body reverts to or triggers that you have does not mean that you are not making progress because you are. Every day you choose to get up and get out of bed is progress.

I want you to know it does get better. It might not seem like it, but it does. And you might now know how but it will. I was with my Porco for six years. I was stuck in my hometown because of him for years while my friends left me behind and lived their life the way I wish I would have. I was isolated from them because of him. I needed people, and I had nobody. it was the most frustrating thing in the world as I tried to navigate through the darkness knowing nobody would be on the other side waiting for me.

I couldn't break free from my Porco until I was 22 years old. And that was when I finally left my hometown too. I started writing okay, bambi only three months after my break up because I was like you. I felt stuck and scared and lonely, and if I didn't do something, I was going to go so far down into the darkness that lived within me created by him that I wouldn't be able to find myself again.

Now, I am 24, and I am finally starting to remember what it feels like to be alive after years and years of not knowing if I was dead or actually breathing. I am stating my own experience here because you are still so so young. You have so much of your life ahead of you. Trust me when I say that you are just starting. There is so much life to live and so much of the world to see. And so far, all you’ve seen is what he has limited you to.

My advice is this. Find what you love again. Revert back to things you enjoyed when you were young. Things you loved before you met him. Whether it be writing, reading, being active, or collecting items. Sometimes figuring this out is trial and error. It wasn't until my early twenties that I knew I could semi write and that it was something I enjoyed doing. Now, I have a fic that people gravitate to. That they find comfort in while I find comfort in them. If you told me at this time last year I would have thought you were crazy. But there truly are better things waiting to you. I promise.

My second advice is this. Talk about your feelings. And if you can't bring yourself to speak, write your feelings out, even if it's only for you to see. Even if it's pages that you will burn. Buy yourself a coffee. Develop a skincare routine. Watch seasons upon season of anime. Do the things you love even if it feels like you don't deserve it. Because, you do.

Please know my asks will always be open to you, as long as my direct messages. If you have not joined the okay, bambi discord my readers made, please do. We have a community there that we would love for you to be a part of. There are always VC calls where we play games or watch movies with each other. Sometimes online friends are better than IRL, especially when you have things in common.

I mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say that I am so proud of you for getting up, for brushing your teeth, and for showering. I am just so proud of you for still existing. Please keep going. Keep pushing. One day you will be able to look back and see all the progress you made you couldn't see before. I love you to the milky way. I hope my advice helps, and if it doesn't, I am sorry. I am still learning the aftermath of being abused and am trying my best to heal too.

I’m not sure if I am making any sense. I wish I had all the answers, but I promise better days are coming than the ones you have endured. You’re so precious. Don’t ever forget that.

[malka-lisitsa]

Dear Boyfriend

It's me I'm the boyfriend

Verse: red string - Theres a few pages of paper torn and crumpled up by his trashcan

Dear Stefan,

This is not the life that I had planned for us. Not by far. I had intended for us to run away together in 1864 and spend the rest of eternity side by side. Us against the world. Immortals who's years together are as endless as our love.

But this is not that story. Forever is much shorter than I had ever intended it to be, and that makes me both angry, and scared. I am finally happy and here I am still scared for the end. The situation is the same, the enemy is just wearing a different face.

A large part of me wants to scream at you. Hate you. Hit you, how dare you do this to me, to us? How dare you wait till I have an expiration date to decide that you care about me again?? How could you? How could you do this to US? WE DIDN'T HAVE TO BE HERE. YOU PUT US HERE. YOU AND FUCKING ELENA.

......but what good does being angry do when I know my time with you is limited? The truth is, Stefan I'm scared. You think I would be used to that feeling by now, that it would be background noise but every day I wake up I am a day older, just like before- only this time it MATTERS. There's no magical fix, (allegedly) there's no way for me to avoid it this time... I am going to wither away and die, and you will look as good that day as you do today.

This isn't fair. How fucking shitty of whatever bullshit forces are out there to finally give me what ive been fighting for for 200 god damn miserable fucking years only to put an expiration date on it??? What the actual fuck did I do to deserve any of this? I just don't understand. All I ever wanted was to be happy, to get my happy ever after. The fucking cruel irony that I'm so scared of it ending that I can't even be blissful about it.

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in your arms and I am so happy..... and then the silence sets in and I remember that this will END one way or another. I don't think you realize how badly this hurts. How terrified I am. I wish love were as powerful as I had imagined it as a kid. Then all it would take to fix this was our love being more powerful than death..... but it's not.

Almost none of this is how I imagined it. How I imagined us. I wanted forever.... I got a forever of what? 20 years looking this good max, and another 40 or 50 looking like a decrepit old hag? Forever went from an eternity to seventy years tops... I'm fragile now, so any time I fall sick or ....straight up fall all of that could be cut short. Not to mention all the people who's shit list I'm on just got a lot easier of a job taking me out.

What is how I imagined it, on the other hand... is how it feels to be in your arms. How it feels to be the one you look at when you think I dont know. How it feels to kiss you. How it feels to hear you whisper I love you when you think Im asleep. How it feels to be tangled up with you in the sheets, how it feels to fall asleep listening to your heart beat.... how it feels to be loved by you. None of that has changed. All of it is still more precious to me than anything you could ever imagine.... all of that is everything a little bulgarian girl wished for on a shooting star in the 1400's... You are my dream come true...

I just wish I was strong enough to be the fearless girl you think I am.

Then I wouldn't be so scared to lose all of this. TO lose us.

Maybe the universe will smile on us and some kind of fix for this pathetic state I'm in will present itself. Maybe I will get to be immortal again and we will have forever... true forever.... of course I'm always going to hope, and fight for that.... for you...

But on the days that I'm too tired to keep fighting. On the says I'm too weak to stand, and I fall to my knees and sob and take all of my fear and anger out on you... I'm sorry. I'm trying... I'm just scared. I've already sat by for 147 years unable to touch you and helpless to watch you live your life without me.... I don't want to do it for eternity on the other side too.... Im just scared Stefan....

So I hope you can forgive me for the days I am a bitch to you. This isn't how I wanted to be... but I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you. Even after I'm gone.

Katherine

[elliebear666]

Me, in school, daydreaming instead of paying attention and then getting in trouble for not paying attention.

It's funny, but... being homeschooled catered to my learning style. It was one on one and engaging. I liked almost all of the stuff we studied. It was genuinely interesting. When I got to public school, my grades at first were great and it wasn't terribly hard because, thanks to our homeschool curriculum, I knew most of the shit we were being taught.

However, as I progressed in middle school, my grades steadily declined until I was failing like one class with a D in another and mostly Cs or Bs. It was a nightmare in a few of the classes I was in. I'd daydream or zone out or dissociate. I had a lot of anxiety and, of course, gender dysphoria. I was miserable tbh. Being homeschooled, my mom would take us out to do stuff, she'd show us things and read books to us. She kept us engaged by speaking to us.

I can see how coming to an ADHD (inattentive) diagnosis could be difficult. I mean, there was a lot going on with me.

I think that my persistent day dreaming instead of focusing on the task at hand, forgetfulness, distractibility, and short attention span (unless engaged by something I really liked) are definitely indicative of that, though. I mean, I went through all of this with my psychiatrist. It wasn't like I just said, "So, I think I have ADHD" and he prescribed me strattera. We talked about this for a while.

I mean, I guess my forgetfulness could be chalked up to like dissociation. Like, I'll set down an object, turn around, and then literally forget where I put it. "Out of sight, out of mind." I've been doing this for as long as I can remember. I'm incredibly forgetful and disorganized. I can't manufacture the motivation to clean my room beyond basic tasks that still take a lot of gumption to get going. Like I got in trouble with my landlord because I wasn't keeping my apartment clean. Not because I was like, "I don't want to >:(" but genuinely because it seemed so daunting and overwhelming and difficult, and the very simple matter of manufacturing motivation made it seem impossible. Like, when my friend Lettii would come over, she would help me organize my space because when she'd leave it was nice but within a week or so it was a mess. All my shit is in a big pile in my closet. I have tons of odds and ends I've forgotten about tucked away in a multitude of bags and boxes in my closet.

I forget to change my cat's water, or to change her litter. To feed her, unless I see it is empty and act on it right away, or she wakes me up with her paws in my face.

I used to literally need my mom to remind me every single day to take my medication because I would forget. So I put alarms on my phone. I would still forget. Recently, however, I'm actually surprised at how well I'm doing with my meds. My alarm to take meds goes off and usually within a little while I'd have taken them. This is a development in my life that is actually awesome. It makes me feel so proud of myself lmao, that I can manage my own meds xD

But then there's the matter of bills. Maybe this makes me an absolute pathetic loser, but my mom helps me pay my bills because I keep forgetting. Like, the only reason my rent gets paid on time each month is because she will write the check, hand it to me and say "Go pay it now." The one time that she wrote the check and gave it to me a a day before I was supposed to pay rent, I forgot. It took me four days to realise that the baggy on my TV stand, which is cluttered with countless random objects, had a check in it. So I paid it like three days late and I got another mark on my record.

I literally pay my phone bill late almost every single month. The times I don't get it within four days of the due date, I usually get a message that says, "You need to pay your phone" or my mom says, "Did you pay your phone." I'll say no, and promise to do it when I get home. But I'll have forgotten about it within a few minutes at most. My mom will give me instructions for something, and I'll sometimes need her to repeat it. But about 70-80% of the time, by the time I get to where I need to be to deal with whatever it is I need to deal with, I've forgotten what I need so say. Like I had a thing I was doing a while ago and my mom gave me instructions and naturally I forgot what I was supposed to say so I awkwardly stumbled over my words until they figured out what I needed. They thought it was kind of funny but honestly it was fucking humiliating. I felt like a fucking stupid idiot. To top it off, most of the time I have an appointment, I'm either getting distracted or don't process what they say, or by the time I leave, I've forgotten everything that was said. My mom would ask me how things went and what they said and I'll just say, "I don't remember. I have bits and pieces, but I don't remember."

Like, this isn't a, "Shucks, I can't focus so it must be the ADHD :(" situation. This is a... my forgetfulness, inattentiveness, distractibility, and overall inability to manage my life has culminated in me being dependent on my fucking mom to keep me from becoming homeless lol.

Like this is bad. It isn't just anxiety or depression that makes me forget to pay my bills. I've actually reduced anxiety and depression by an enormous amount. I've transitioned. I'm on hormones. I'm taking my meds. No depressive episodes or mania in months. Only periodic BPD symptoms. And yet I still forget to pay my rent. Like... idk, man

It isn't like I WANT this to be a thing lmao, it isn't cool. It fucking SUCKS. This is absolute fucking ass, y'all. This blows donkey dick. My life is so difficult due my various problems that I genuinely can't function like a normal person.

Like, when I was little, I used to be so inattentive and distracted, whether daydreaming or whatever, that I'd put my dirty underwear in the freezer or the trash instead of in the hamper IN THE OTHER ROOM. Like ALL THE TIME XD. This didn't start in adulthood. So, maybe I was so anxious and depressed and traumatized by my family life. Maybe, sure. I could accept that. I just... I don't think that's what was going on when I was little. Like, most of the trauma came and got worse after those symptoms were noticed.

I told my mom about possibly seeing a psychologist to get an in-depth assessment beyond what I've already gotten and she said that like... well she basically said that my psychiatrist has already done that, and that my history is indicative of that too.

Idk. I get stressed and look for anything that this issue might he besides ADHD, and nothing really tracks. No other issue causes all of these symptoms besides being an absolute fucking idiot.

I mean, both my psychiatrist and my therapist agree on ADD, but again I guess I could go see a psychologist. Idk what that would change. It would be two or so sessions with someone that has never met me before and has no knowledge of my mental health history. They'd probably interview my mom I guess. She could tell them she pays my bills because I'm too stupid to do it myself, I guess. That I used to talk so rapidly and fast as a child that most people couldn't understand me. That I was so forgetful that she constantly made comments about it.

I'm honestly too tired to worry about this right now so I guess I'll just do something else instead of fretting over this shit.

I mean, I'll be fifty and still forgetting to take my brain with me when I leave the house.

[jerzwriter]

I've melted... and it has nothing to do with the heat....

Ethan wasn't sure how he managed to walk into Chris's room and calmly sit down. He had such a rush of feelings as he looked at her tear stained face. The first was how unfair it was that this was where they ended up after everything they'd been through. He loved her. He doubted there would ever come a time when he didn't. The thought of losing her cut to the quick. His life, he couldn't even begin to imagine what it was going to look like after today.

OK - again - DTI flashbacks and all that guilt is rising to the surface again! lmao

Anger and fear melded together, forcing him to want to fight the inevitable. He knew Tobias was right. It galled him to admit it, but the man knew him and Chris too well. He saw right to the heart of the matter just as much as they wished to remain blind to it.

Ugh. This is so real. I've seen this in life so many times. Love is never enough. Not when you don't want the same things. In time, resentment builds, and it's a mess... it's so hard to let go, but unless one person can genuinely change, it's not going to happen. UGH.

He knew there was no reason to bring up Tobias's confession. As much as he wanted to blame him for what was happening, ultimately it came down to Chris and himself.

OMG YES! YES YES YES!

Oh and the conflicting emotions Chris is feeling.... uuuughh, that's so hard.

Swallowing back a sob, she whispered. "You were the man of my dreams." A sad smile formed on lips she knew too well. "That's the thing about dreams, Chris." His voice was hoarse with emotion. "Eventually, you wake up and see reality." He lifted their clasped hands to his cheek. "You and I have been dreaming long enough."

OK - I'm crying. But that was beautiful. Well done!

"I know we'll need time." She sniffed. "Do you think that one day we could find our way back to being friends?" He hesitated at the notion. With how much he felt for Chris, he didn't know if he could take simply being her friend. Ethan's self-preservation cried out that he refuse to ever see her again. Though they worked at the same place, being Chief would help keep them from seeing each other as little as possible. Looking into her heartbroken face and seeing that she was as devastated as he was, he knew he couldn't say no. "One day." He promised.

HOLD ME!

Tobias was waiting out in the hallway. He'd remained across the hall so as to give Ethan and Chris privacy. When the door opened and he saw his friend's face, he knew that life had permanently changed for all of them. Ethan noticed him standing there. Giving a brisk nod of acknowledgement, he got in the elevator without a word.

GUUUURRRRLLLLL!!!! Ahhh, you knocked it out of the park!

But can we take a moment to acknowledge the WICKED headache poor Chris had to have, holy shit. Get that girl all the Advil.....

OK the WHOLE section of Tobias sitting by her bed... OMFG... HELP ME.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, Tobias took her home.

"I think you're ready unless you need to stare at your reflection a little longer." He walked out of the room, pausing in the doorway to tease the man one last time. "I can always tell everyone that the wedding has been postponed because the groom can't tear his eyes off himself."

DEAD!

Ethan patted his back. His heart still ached from time to time, but he'd realized after a few months that he needed both Chris and Tobias in his life. He was miserable keeping them at a distance. It hurt more being without their friendship than it did seeing them together as a couple.

He was able to stand there and watch the two closest people in his life obtain their happily ever after.

OK, BUT I LOVE THIS! See, this is how I see it, too. There is a deep love between all three of them, but it's a different kind of love. Though it must have been hard to push through, in the end, it's worthwhile. Love can take on different forms, it can change... and we'd be smart if we didn't deny ourselves because of what others think or how "it's supposed to be done." I love that they were all able to remain close friends.

Right now... I'm going to go bask in the afterglow!!! Thanks so much for doing this, and I swear you'll be getting asks so I can have my Tobias/Chris fix! lol

Heart's Choice Part 3

(Ethan Ramsey x F!MC) (Tobias Carrick x F!MC) in a Choices Open Heart One shot.

A/N Here's the finale to your initial question @jerzwriter Sorry it took this long to answer 😂 Thanks for the ask ♥️

Masterlist

Part 3

Ethan wasn't sure how he managed to walk into Chris's room and calmly sit down. He had such a rush of feelings as he looked at her tear stained face. The first was how unfair it was that this was where they ended up after everything they'd been through.

He loved her. He doubted there would ever come a time when he didn't. The thought of losing her cut to the quick. His life, he couldn't even begin to imagine what it was going to look like after today.

Anger and fear melded together, forcing him to want to fight the inevitable. He knew Tobias was right. It galled him to admit it, but the man knew him and Chris too well. He saw right to the heart of the matter just as much as they wished to remain blind to it.

"Ethan?" Chris reached for his hand.

He got up and moved to sit facing her on the bed. Taking her hand in his, he lifted his eyes to her face.

He adored that face. The green eyes that could twinkle with humor then burn with passion were hypnotic. Her warm smile was always directed towards him. Even the slight tilt of her nose was endearing.

Chris's bottom lip trembled, drawing his attention to her mouth.

That mouth had the ability to make him burn. Whether it was in the throes of passion or in setting off his temper, it had a power over him unlike any other. The words she'd whisper to him late at night, hearing her say how much she loved him, how could he walk away from that?

He only knew he had to.

"Chris, I think we both know what needs to be done." He began.

Silent tears began to fall down her cheeks once more.

He reached up with his free hand and gently wiped them away. He knew there was no reason to bring up Tobias's confession. As much as he wanted to blame him for what was happening, ultimately it came down to Chris and himself.

"I'm not going to change, not in the way you need me to. I can't. I won't." He lifted his eyes to hers. "I'm not the man to give you the marriage and family you want."

Chris was unable to speak. Her heart was breaking that this was what had come of their relationship. The fact that he was ending it surprised her. She'd dreaded this talk, knowing she'd have to say they couldn't be together, even though she knew deep down that it needed to be done. The thing was, she hadn't known it would hurt this much.

She loved him. He frustrated and challenged her like no one before or after him. He had a tenderness that could surprise her and make her melt at the same time. Even his dry sense of humor had a way of making her day better.

How could she let him end what they'd struggled to finally have?

She knew though, neither of them really had a choice. This was the only way they could live.

Especially since I now realize I'm in love with Tobias.

Swallowing back a sob, she whispered. "You were the man of my dreams."

A sad smile formed on lips she knew too well.

"That's the thing about dreams, Chris." His voice was hoarse with emotion. "Eventually, you wake up and see reality."

He lifted their clasped hands to his cheek. "You and I have been dreaming long enough."

Her voice hitched as more tears fell. "Do you," she closed her eyes as her shoulders began to shake with her muffled cries, "do you hate me?"

"No." He scooted closer, drawing her once more into his arms. "I don't hate you at all."

She held on to him, crying out that she didn't want to lose him.

"I know we'll need time." She sniffed. "Do you think that one day we could find our way back to being friends?"

He hesitated at the notion. With how much he felt for Chris, he didn't know if he could take simply being her friend. Ethan's self-preservation cried out that he refuse to ever see her again. Though they worked at the same place, being Chief would help keep them from seeing each other as little as possible.

Looking into her heartbroken face and seeing that she was as devastated as he was, he knew he couldn't say no.

"One day." He promised.

She tenderly kissed his cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Ethan."

"Me too." He reluctantly released her.

Ethan got to his feet. "I'll go and let you get some rest."

With one final look at Chris, he left.

Tobias was waiting out in the hallway. He'd remained across the hall so as to give Ethan and Chris privacy. When the door opened and he saw his friend's face, he knew that life had permanently changed for all of them.

Ethan noticed him standing there. Giving a brisk nod of acknowledgement, he got in the elevator without a word.

***************

A few hours later, Tobias found Chris fast asleep. She'd exhausted herself from crying over everything that happened in the last few days.

He quietly sat down in the chair next to her bed to watch her. He hated that she and Ethan had gone through this. At the same time, he couldn't help but be overjoyed in Chris returning the love he'd felt for a long time.

Tobias knew she'd need some time before they began their own new relationship. As anxious as he was to start, he was willing to wait for as long as she needed to. He'd already waited in revealing his feelings. What was a little longer to actually see his dreams come to fruition?

He relaxed back in the chair as visions of what would happen when Chris was ready came to mind.

Closing his eyes, he dreamed about her.

****************

Chris awoke alone that night in her hospital room. Noticing the time, she knew she would soon be dismissed from observation. She sat up and wondered if she should buzz for a nurse to find out when she could leave.

Tobias stuck his head in as he'd done every so often, saw her awake, and came inside.

"One last examination." He told her. "Then I'll release you."

She sat up straighter as he checked her vitals. He shined a small light in each of her eyes then grinned at her.

"You're good to go."

She stared at him as he wrote some notes in her chart and wondered what he was thinking. Did he know that Ethan ended things? Was he regretting telling her he loved her? He hadn't exactly said he wanted a relationship. He'd only wanted to tell her how he felt.

Tobias glanced up and caught her staring at him. Setting the chart on the bed table, he sat down on her bed.

"Now that you're no longer my patient," he said, "how are you?"

His eyes searched hers for the truth when she seemed to struggle to find the words.

"Numb, I think." She began. "A part of me is at least."

She summoned her courage to find out what he was thinking. "The other part of me is still thinking about what you and I admitted."

"Oh?" He felt his heart drop. "Do you regret saying it?"

"Of course not!" Her eyes widened that he'd ever think that. "I only regret not realizing it sooner."

She averted her eyes from his. "It was unfair to both you and Ethan that I didn't see what was happening."

"Hey." He took her hands in his. "So the timing wasn't ideal for us to admit we are in love. I know I could have waited a little longer, but I didn't want to." He shrugged. "Now that we both know how we feel, we have all the time we need to be together."

"Is that what you want?" She asked. "For us to be together in a relationship?"

"You thought I poured my heart out to you, simply to remain single?" He shook his head. "I know I said I didn't expect anything to change, but I couldn't help but hope that you loved me too. You couldn't have doubted that if you did, I would do all I could to be with you."

Chris realized how foolish her fears had been. He was right. Why would you tell someone how you felt if you weren't going to do all you could to be with them.

"Well," she said a touch nervously. "Now what do we do?"

"Take you home for your mandatory two days of rest." He told her.

"Right." She moved to get out of the bed. "I meant about us."

Tobias stopped her from moving when he placed his hands on her waist.

"I thought, if you want to that is," he explained, "that you could come to my home to recover." He explained. "I understand if you're not ready for us to begin right away, but I would like to take care of you, if you'll let me."

Tears filled her eyes again. Sniffing, she wrapped her arms around him in a hug.

Tobias gently rubbed her back when she tightened her arms around him.

She lifted her head, gazing up at him, and asked if he was sure he wanted to do that.

"I know I'm going to be a mess for a while." She added.

He cupped her cheek, thumb brushing her skin.

"I wouldn't have offered it if I wasn't sure." He told her.

"Then I want to go home with you." Chris admitted. "I need to be near you, especially after everything we've said."

He leaned forward and placed a lingering kiss to her forehead.

She caressed his cheek when it ended. Their eyes met and both knew they didn't need to say anything else.

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, Tobias took her home.

***************

Epilogue...

"Ready?" Ethan asked.

Tobias looked at his reflection once more. "No. I can't get this damn tie straight."

Ethan stepped forward and untied it to start over.

"It wasn't that bad." Tobias grumbled.

"It wasn't that good either." Ethan remarked, smirking at him. "I think your nerves have gotten the better of you."

Tobias rolled his eyes in response.

"There." Ethan stepped back to study him. "I think you're ready unless you need to stare at your reflection a little longer."

He walked out of the room, pausing in the doorway to tease the man one last time. "I can always tell everyone that the wedding has been postponed because the groom can't tear his eyes off himself."

"Don't even think about doing that." Tobias followed him out. "Come hell or high water, I'm getting married today."

The two made their way towards the altar and took their positions.

"Hey?" Tobias whispered to him before Chris walked down the aisle. "Thank you."

"For what? The tie? You never did have the knack for them." Ethan whispered back.

"Not that, smartass. For this. For standing by my side. Being there for Chris," Tobias paused the moment Chris appeared and began to walk the aisle with her father. "For a lot of things that I don't have time to get into."

Ethan patted his back. His heart still ached from time to time, but he'd realized after a few months that he needed both Chris and Tobias in his life. He was miserable keeping them at a distance. It hurt more being without their friendship than it did seeing them together as a couple.

It gave him hope for his own future when he saw Chris in her wedding gown and didn't wish she was marrying him. The fact that she only had eyes for Tobias in this moment didn't bother him. He knew that he had made the right decision for all three of them.

He was able to stand there and watch the two closest people in his life obtain their happily ever after.

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman groupchat

Warnings: swearing, dark humor, descriptions of toxic relationships, mentions of suicide

(I did em wrong with this one, especially Mikey💀)

Baji: you know what, I'm gonna say it

Draken: I don't care that you broke your elbow

Baji: Mikey and Takemichi have a toxic relationship

Draken: I-

Angry: 😰

Smiley: IS IT FINALLY HAPPENING???

Hakkai: uhm😟

Mitsuya: Baji why do you always start shit

Baji: I won't sit by and let this disaster of a relationship unfold

Takemichi: .....disaster?

Mikey: don't listen to him babe

Mikey: Edward what's your problem lol

Draken: uh maybe we shouldn't have this conversation on chat this is a really bad idea

Baji: i know y'all agree with me. they're not normal

Takemichi: I don't think there's anything wrong with our relationship Baji-kun😕

Smiley: YOU DON'T??

Baji: your relationship is based on ownership, obsession and infatuation, love is not enough to fix THAT

Smiley: 💀

Draken: dude.... stop

Takemichi: how is it based on any of those things??

Mikey: Baji you obviously don't know what you're talking about you look so stupid rn😕

Baji: I may be stupid but I'm not an idiot

Baji: how did they meet? Draken you were there right?

Draken: please don't involve me

Baji: fine, but it was the "Starting from today you're my bitch❤️"

Baji: Takemichi had no choice in that matter

Mikey: Baji don't start a war you can't win

Mikey: If you want me to bring up receipts I will

Mikey: do you want me to start with you and Kazutora or you and Chifuyu??🤨

Baji: you literally almost beat him to death several times

Baji: dark impulses my ass. GET HELP

Smiley: this is so entertaining

Draken: guys please do this in private

Mitsuya: yeah fr this is so awkward

Baji: don't piss me off rn guys

Baji: and you guys are obsessed with each other it's not normal

Baji: like Mikey I know you're a traumatized mentally ill individual, but this ain't it

Takemichi: Mikey didn't do anything wrong

Smiley: funny thing is, I heard you say that standing over the body of someone Mikey killed

Mikey: didn't Chifuyu's face almost cave in because your other boyfriend told you to beat him up??? who is now in prison because HE TRIED TO KILL YOU???

Baji: idk what they gotta do with, this you're reaching

Baji: and I love how you haven't even denied any of these accusations

Mitsuya: please just shut the fuck up

Baji: when are you gonna tell Hakkai you used to be in love with Draken

Mitsuya: can't believe you said that actually

Mitsuya: should've stayed dead I can't believe this

Draken: huh

Draken: what

Hakkai: ....what

Mitsuya: key word is USED TO

Draken: what

Angry: why can't we all just get along and be friends

Smiley: ....don't talk, okay? it's for your own good

Angry: .....okay

Draken: Mitsuya what are they talking about

Mitsuya: .....uhm

Mitsuya: uhhh

Mitsuya: ngl fam, I don't know what to tell you

Mitsuya: like it was a long time ago and now I'm in a relationship with someone I love plus I got over it cause you're straight so

Mitsuya: this is awkward oh my god

Smiley: Baji killing relationships like he killed Shinichiro

Baji: why do you always bring that up

Smiley: it's funny seeing you in despair

Mikey: careful, he might go on a suicide mission again and then accidentally trigger his boyfriends mental illness and PTSD and ultimately fail miserably and die

Baji: I didn't fail that day, Kazutora's still alive so it was a win for me

Smiley: you call that a win????💀

Smiley: he was given a 10 year sentence 💀

Baji: I didn't press charges so it's only 5

Takemichi: I still don't understand Baji-kuns argument, me and Mikey are perfect for each other

Smiley: man, poor Hina

Draken: wait can we backtrack a little I think I misunderstood something

Mitsuya: shit I forgot to water my cats brb

*Mitsuya has left the chat*

Draken: ......

Draken: I wish we could have normal conversations

[vanosslirious]

BBS Dialogue Prompts: #180

BBS Dialogue & Sentence Starter Prompts: [10]

SMII7Y

It all picked up so fast.

Everything works for a reason, boys.

Okay, now we can start picking fights, boys.

They came up so quick.

We must go out into the wild eventually.

The bird cannot stay in the nest their entire life, they must eventually fly.

We lasted as long as we can.

Let's go, boys, this way!

I don't know why I came out here, going back…

Oh, I missed...oh no, I don't have ammo.

They still have someone alive.

He's actually up there.

Every time you get in one, it's horrible.

I'm gonna catch you!

I'm gonna press this button, okay.

Stop panicking, why are you panicking.

I actually didn’t know what that did, I was actually trying to get him killed.

No more pushing the button.

I tried to jump, bro.

Why can’t you stand still?

VANOSSGAMING

What the hell’s this?

How did I get third place?

You gotta go slow, bitch.

What the fuck, what happened?

Not if I kill you first!

Let me shoot him!

Can I shoot him?

You sure sounded like you knew what you were doing.

Did he die?

Why did he do that?

BIGJIGGLYPANDA

Fuck you guys, I’m having fun.

Oh, there’s more of them than I was expecting.

You passed me.

I thought you would’ve listened.

It’s fine, it’s payback.

I’m not playing games with you fucking nerds anymore, I swear to God.

At least we can be miserable together.

It’s not going to matter at this point.

A little too much power.

Aw, look at you with your pockets full of planets.

FOURZER0SEVEN

There’s three people behind us.

Who’s trying to shoot us?

It’s fucking impossible.

I haven’t killed a single person since we’ve been here.

He’s chasing me!

I’m not really near you.

That was just…depressing.

Hold my head…oh you dead.

Uh, everyone just got murdered.

It’s going to kill me immediately.

THE TERRORISER

How did I die!

There’s some fucking creepy dude that’s going to turn around and murder us.

Stop having sex, Jesus Christ!

Do you need professional help?

Who has wronged you, sir?

Just don’t question the logic, there is none.

You don’t want to fucking know what I’ve just been through over there.

Stop singing, just go to the otherside.

So, yeah, it was an accident.

We were almost in perfect sync, except you took it a little further than me.

BASICALLYIDOWRK

I don’t need one, bitch.

I feel like if we were on drugs, we’d be here all day.

You fucking bitch, I had that!

Wait, can I come too?

I’m trying to rotate you.

Now we get in the middle, I think.

Come on, I was on a bowling team.

Yes, I did, call my mom!

I like the confidence.

I just turned them off because I’m afraid of them.

WILDCAT

There’s a whole lot of shit going on, give us a second, bitch.

I just sniped the pilot out.

Let me know when you're coming back.

My man is going to Narnia.

Why do I want the healer?

Oh my God, I can’t see anything.

I can’t see anything.

Time to fly back.

Are we okay? Can we still fly?

Is he coming back for us, this piece of shit.

MOO

If you breathe on me, I’m dead, okay, just leave me alone.

I go for whoever I can, okay.

I’m focusing so hard.

Why would you do that?

I can’t believe you’ve done this.

No, anyone can join in.

Yeah...you did.

Hey, you get back here.

Who’s making that sound?

How does that not kill him?

DAITHI DE NOGLA

Are we going to head upstairs now?

We ran so far.

Oh, that’s questionable.

Why don’t we just pick him up, we’re going to kill him anyways.

Let’s go guys, let’s go...let’s not go, let’s go this way.

She’s on the right hand side.

Well, the goat told me to do it.

She got me, guys, she chose me, I’m so special!

I just had the night of my life.

It’s a great time to go, gentlemen.

H2ODELIRIOUS

I'm leaving the slaughter to you guys.

I'm too drunk for this.

I just got here, man, I brought my own Cocaine.

This is a place you can hide a dead body in.

Do you want to confess your sins!

We murdered him!

We threw him in the fountain.

I don't want to die, I'm too young!

Someone got thrown through a window.

Oh God, I still can't see.

[missmentelle]

My friend is absolutely obsessed with my twin brother and has basically been emotionally punishing me for me a long time because she can't have him. No matter how many times I ask her to stop she continues the behavior, and when I confront her she breaks down and cries about how she's sorry and she just can't help it because "it's her mother talking." I used to confide in her, but that was greatest mistake of my life, because she has twisted everything I told her into ways to insult and shit on my family. She's had a very traumatic upbringing and is bipolar and we've had a lot of good times together, so I've tried so hard to be kind to her (I even invited her over to my house for the holidays a couple years ago) but she's burned that bridge because she constantly makes them uncomfortable by all the weird things she says (she has zero filter and gets angry at people for "censoring" her and being uptight when they tell her to stop). She refuses to take medication for her severe mental illness. I'm completely exhausted and so hurt because it hurts ME to hear someone say bad things about my twin, and she projects all of her self-hatred onto him but somehow still thinks they'd have a happy relationship if I didn't stand her in way, even though he knows she likes him and doesn't reciprocate her feelings, in fact she creeps him out. I've also noticed that since she's realized that my other friends don't like it when she treats me this way, she waits until we're alone to say these things, it's very sneaky. I feel chained to her and I'm so tired, I'd ditch her but she's part of my larger friend group and she's known them all longer, plus she's really good at making people feel bad for her to the point where I doubt my own pain and frustration a lot. I'm to the point where I fantasize about running away and not telling anyone just so I don't have to deal with her anymore. My heart is breaking because we once had a beautiful friendship and were like sisters, but I feel torn apart. She's yelled at me and made me cry multiple times and once almost got me into a car accident because she forcibly hit the brakes to show off how angry I'd made her. I don't know what to do anymore and I guess I just want a little advice from someone removed from the situation.

So in summary, this is a "friend" who:

treats you poorly

treats the people you care about poorly

does not respect boundaries

does not accept feedback about the negative impact she has on others

shows no interest in taking accountability for her actions or changing her ways

openly makes you miserable

Respectfully - what are you currently getting out of this friendship? Do the positives of this friendship still outweigh the many negatives? Because based on what you’ve told me here, I’m guessing that they probably don’t. 

It can be extremely hard to distance yourself from someone you’ve been friends with for a long time, especially if that friend really seems to be struggling, but sometimes it’s necessary. There’s a firm line between “having a hard time” and “actively harming the people around you no matter how many times they ask you to stop”, and it sounds like your friend sprinted over that line a long time ago. As difficult as it might be to start extracting yourself from the relationship, it sounds like it’s a necessary step you need to take - at this point, being her friend is putting both your emotional and physical safety at risk. 

Ending a relationship with someone who treats you and your family badly is not an act of unkindness toward her; it is an act of kindness toward yourself. 

Be prepared for the fact that distancing yourself from her might be a long process. From the sounds of things, she’s pretty entwined in your life, and a big confrontation about her behaviour isn’t likely to be helpful; it sounds like you’ve already had several conversations where you've discussed boundaries and her poor behaviour with her, and nothing changed. 

Moving forward, you’ll likely have to be very firm and consistent with enforcing your boundaries - this can mean ending conversations or interactions on the spot when she starts badmouthing your family, or refusing to get into cars with her anymore because she has behaved in an unsafe way while you were driving with her in the past. Don’t give her opportunities to argue or push back; if she is not respecting your boundaries, get up and leave, end the phone call or stop answering her text messages. Anything less gives her more opportunities to try to manipulate you or continue the harmful behaviour. Start putting yourself and your family first. 

Above all, know that you aren’t crazy and you aren’t overreacting. She is mistreating you, and you do not deserve to be treated this way. From the sounds of things, you have been more than fair to her, and you have given her endless opportunities to change her behaviour and salvage her relationship with your - although she’s dealing with a lot of difficult things in her life, she ultimately decided for herself that she was going to keep mistreating you. The fact that she changes her treatment of you depending on who is around shows that she knows her behaviour is wrong, but she’s choosing to continue it anyway. 

At the end of the day, you deserve friends who support you and make your life better - not friends who make you want to run away. Remember that. 

Best of luck to you.

MM

[devilslinks]

# 𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗔 !

— 𝗖𝗟𝗨𝗕 𝗙𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 | 𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗔, 𝗧𝗢𝗣 𝗠𝗔𝗟𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥.

wc; ( 3.2k )

synopsis; your best friend, raihan and you find yourselves eager to get intoxicated in one another's company. what better place than a night-club, dim lights, the overwhelmin' musk of the various alcoholic beverages; it's every guy pairs wet dream. that is until raihan gets shit-faced and excuses himself to the restroom while he pukes up his spiked guts. only to return to watch his sister take you balls deep, down her throat.

a/n: no brain, only nessa and her magical throat 🤝

warnings. MINORS DNI, NSFW CONTENT, family!au, raihan and nessa are siblings, club sex, intoxication, dirty talk, the name princess, deep throating, oral (m receiving), throat bulge, throat fucking, cum eating, flirty!nessa, jealous!raihan, exhibitionism, voyeurism.

euphoria.

that was the only word that came mind when raihan and you got involved in recreational activities like you did. galar was a go big or go home type of region, and the two of you stayed true to that motto. the itchy, messily thrown together suits that matched all the way down to the type of socks you had on— the overexcessive amounts of booze, and the loud music which just barely drowned out the fits of laughter and discussion littered throughout the packed club. as soon as the doors opened, flooding your senses with nothing but the sickly sweet, aroma of sex and other intoxicating chemicals; that's how you knew the had night begun.

the two of you had been indulging, before you arrived on the scene— time seemed to blur together with head-spinning speeds or come to a full halt at the worst of moments. you don't even know how long you'd been locking eyes with the transparent shapes and manufactured blurbs dancing across the wall a good, twenty, maybe thirty feet adjacent to your seat at the drink counter. the weight of something too heavy for your alcohol infused mind to register until the bar hostess was practically brewing with irritation at your non-compliance with her attempts to have you regain control of your dazed state; sat lazily in-between your pointer finger and thumb, respectively.

hell you don't even remember waddling over to the bar with the company you had brought with you. but you didn't mind, the painfully challenging to recall memories mattered not when there was already another drink swirling around the rim of your shot-glass. raihan's shifty frame wiggling in and out of your peripherals as you tug the half-empty cup to the skin of your lips, craning your head back to knock down whatever liquid remained at the bottom. the delicious burn of toxins coated the lining of your throat, trails of steamy fluid leaving their mark as the mystery liquor made it way down your esophagus. whatever it was, it packed a punch and wasted no time forcing your lips to curve into a bitter sneer— eyebrows shadowing your face in a sour demeanor, as you used the hem of your suit sleeve to whisk away any spilt mixture that tarnished your cherry red lips.

you hardly have the chance to open your mouth for a second time to address the swaying body, huddled closer the counter than it is to your own. raihan is a total mess, loopsy, and feverishly hot skin to compliment— he's stained a harsh, sickly green against his natural melanin tone. doubling over in either pain or the sudden flow of too many drinks pooling in his system; whatever the emotion he was enduring was, he wasted not a second longer before hustling off into the large gathering of people. disappearing before his lips could slur the final word, missing from his dialect.

“hh..h fuck- my stomach is gonna explode, i'll catch you-” his gravely tone churning into the backdrop just as quickly as he initiated the conversation; the familiar hum of lyrics to a song you couldn't quite place your finger on replaced whatever words raihan had previously gargled out before dashing off towards the public restrooms.

your head feels like it weighs a metric ton this late into the night, threatening to tumble forward as if your neck had lost any and all of it's support. your eyelids pulling down roughly over your eyes like window shades before the sudden wave of loneliness hit you like a truck. fiddling with the collar of your dress-shirt was entertaining enough to fill the void that was the now empty stool, where your best friend once resided. but that quick fix subsided rather easily and the once overwhelming presence of boredom had returned to take a seat.

and then, so did she.

“shit, rai- back so soon? you alright?” your vision was foggy and adorned with blurry bits here and there— but it was still evident enough to make out that, whoever was indeed now in your friend's seat, was not the person you had chauffeured to the club with.

“damn, do i really look, that bad? it's me, y/n. the painfully better looking sibling. what did that idiot put in your drink?” the speech is followed by a laugh. it was a warm and inviting chuckle, one that seemed to relax every muscle in your liquor tense body the moment she parted her spit silken lips. you had been in her company earlier that evening, which made it a tad easier for your incoherent mindset to process it. but nevertheless it was hard not to distinguish who the women paying you a visit was at this point, even if you hadn't engaged with her previously; nessa was infamous for those enchanting looks. and in your dumbified state, those gorgeous navy locks tied together by aquamarine highlights were one of a kind and stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the room of normal presenting citizens. though your brain didn't want to pick-up any of your surroundings, you found it quite easy to fawn over her in that ebony dress and the way it hugged her curves in all the right places.

“fuck.. nes' when'd you get so.. so.” you couldn't even find the energy or hell, the words to cough up the remainder of the sentence, you were so taken aback by how stunning she was, even behind your bleary, drunk eyes. but nessa wasn't oblivious— you were sure she had picked up the hint you had layed out so bluntly, and the warm palm slowly inching up your clothed thigh secured that suspension for you.

“not even so much as a greeting? you didn't even buy me a drink first; asshole.”

her words are firm, yet so light hearted at the same time; but just enough to set your arousal over the edge. your headspace so vulnerable to teasing that you're certain she knew what she was doing to your conflicted mind and body. her sly fingers are enough to coax you to shuffle your bar-stool closer to her's— not a single word wriggled around your throat in response, instead the tangy after-tase of alcohol still heavy on your tongue distracted you and you were sure the whole bar could acknowledge your intoxicated musk.

her features held so many different emotions at once, as she pryed you for a reply— trying to tell you each one obscured behind that pretty face, way too quickly for you to decipher. her brows furrowed quizzically, one tilted slightly higher than the other as her half lidded doe-eyes stared up at you like prey at a final stand off with their predator; just humbly surrending their body to the circle of life.

“hah, you're one to.. talk, nes' just because 'm out of it- doesn't mean my numb skin can't feel your heavy hand toying with my waistband.” the both of you swiftly changed direction, heads leering down at nessa's free hand. you were infact correct, you observed as the woman swirled shapes into the expensive leather of your belt. pulling bits between her fingers now and then as she silently struggled with the metalic buckle. your groin swelled tightly, gripping your boxers closer to the fat bulge behind your suit pants; it would take an idiot not to take notice of the wrinkled fabric secured around your aching dick. her skin felt like a furnace, contrasting your slightly cooler temperature— but with her body pressing so desperately to yours, you were sure the warmth from her melted over onto your feverish flesh. the damp, sheen of anxious sweat made the fabric of your suit, dewy. sticking slightly against your hellish skin.

“mm, i guess i was wrong about the greeting part— hello there, you look happy to see me.” not a hint of shame obscured her voice, you're miserably watching nessa shift her weight as she now palms at the mound between your legs. you've seen countless renditions of this night loop in your head, but now that the scenario is a reality; it's agonizing to try to contain your primal urges, face to face. it's a chore not to profess all the vile things you wanna carry out with her, but she's already one step ahead. that glare is dangerous, it makes you feel like she's trying convey that the two of you are already in on something devious.

“let me take care of you.. y/n.”

“let me treat you, nessa.”

the both of you drawl out in what would be perfect unison if your mind wasn't foggy and running slower than usual. you had both finally voiced the elephant in the room, the one which was just positively dripping with thick tension up until this moment in time. you're still squirming under nessa's grip, she can feel you whine and pant everytime she gives your cock a light squeeze between her fingers and it's not long before the two of you are absent from the bar and clawing at one another's linen around the corner. closest to any vacant area within eye-shot. well, as vacant as a small room seperated from the bustling club-life can get.

did you think the night would come to a close with your friend's sister skillfully sucking the soul out of your sloppy cock? not in a million years, but you'd be damned if you didn't want it to end on any other note. nessa fell to her knees before the two of you even made it out of view— planting herself in-between your thighs like she was a trained professional; no flaws in her technique as her tongue slid obediently from her mouth and latches onto the moist fabric masking her mouth's destination. nessa's fingers are long and slender, as they snake up your hips and meet at the belt tangled around your waist. you can feel your cock pumping against the seams of your pants, the uncomfortable sensation making it appear as though you'd rip through the cloth if your cock was imprisoned a second longer.

with the head-splitting atmosphere of the club playlist stretching and stuffing your ears to the brim with fast pitched edm that made your skull pound and jitter. as well as the added hum of the gym leader whispering inaudible nothings against your bulge as she at last pushed your pants down, and past your ankles; material getting caught on the fancy design of your shoes. you felt like you were on the brink of death, but the enticing appeal of hooking up with your best friend's relative kept your iron-will alive long enough to rough it out and pass the irritation that came with being black-out drunk.

your storm of worries fizzled just as quickly as they sprung up, maybe it was the alcohol but you swear this girl had the hands of the divine; you were washed away into infatuation once more. nessa's teeth hike up your boxers until they meet the waistline, pulling down on the hem with a familiar aggressiveness as she relishes in the way your big dick pops to life and looms over her lustful features; all chubby 'n decorated with veins fer' her viewing pleasure.

“shit.. i'm gonna have so much fun with your cock. you wanna make your stupid slut already? my mouth is just asking for it.” the first piece is low and almost voiced as if it was meant for her ears only— but the second half is most definitely directed at you; as she tilts her head to plant a few delicate lovebites along the base of your shaft. fingers looping gracefully around your hilt as she admires the girth you carry.

“fuck..” you hiss, cock twitching violently as you pleaded with sinful eyes. she had barely started her reign over your dick before guttural groans and mewls slid past your lips. the sensation of her tiny tastebuds as they trailed over the little glob of pre-cum that drooled from your cockhead was insatiable. the sudden action sent your hips forward almost automatically, like they instinctively acted on impulse; it felt so right. merely a few inches breached past her lips but there was enough speed and prowess in your thrust to drag a surprise gag from the mouth attached to your dick.

impatience was on the horizon, the buzz from copious amounts of alcohol had knocked down a few pegs. you were now fully aware of the figure positioned at your feet like she was praying for a god, and soon you'd make her chant like she was being fucked by one as well. broad fingers clamped down, squishing both sides of her jaw while simultaneously easing your length deeper, and deeper down her gullet like your dick was her last meal on earth. you throw your head back before letting it fall forward against the wall, watching those desperate dark iris' pool with puddles of lust that seem to be neverending.

“come'on princess, you know how badly you want this-- you gonna let me ruin this pretty throat?” you thumb over her warm cheeks, eyes glossy and threatening to ruin the simple makeup she applied before she arrived. the uncomfortable stretch of her esophagus molding as your cock fills the empty gaps in her throat with every inch you have; is one that isn't unfamiliar to her. dragging your pulsating veins along the dip in her mouth, her tongue greedily laps up any and all of the skin yet to be consumed by her.

“jesus.. fuck, oh fuck. take it, nes'. shit.” your cock fully slips into her, heavy and swollen as it spears her right down the middle; eyes rolling back into her skull as it's just too fucking big. bigger than anything she's previously had inside of her, anyway. your core bleeds with spots of warmth as you take the time to bask in the way every individual wall in her mouth feels as it constricts you almost painfully. sucking you in before she slides you back out of her throat once more; repeating the tedious cylce that has the two of you in a heated frenzy.

despite all the sudden and erratic pain, nessa bobs her head in sync, coaxing you to go as deep as humanly possible. rocking your hips as they snap against her face with every good fuck you give her— watching yourself grow rapidly from the outside of her neck, the moist skin now holding a curved bump near the middle. nessa takes the initiative. removing a hand from one of your thighs, she uses four fingers to lightly push and stroke the bulge; almost as if she was jerking you off while you ravaged her inards.

she knew exactly what she was doing, and it had you riled the fuck up.

you picked up the pace, delirious from the amount of stimulation your precious cock was receiving. with your erection fully encased by her face and your dick bouncing off the gummy walls of her gullet, you could tell her throat was already forming bruises with a throbbing soreness to compliment, time come the morning. your rough hands dig behind the back of her head, hands feeling lost amongst her ocean of hair— beautiful locks just perfect for pulling. you yank her face forward, lowering yours as well to not only established authority but to get your point across to the cockdrunk slut mindlessly slobbering all over your messy shaft.

“mfph-- please, cum.. i want- all!” you can just barely string together what sounds like whines for more— i guess she can sense just how close the knot in your stomach is to bursting because she grips the back of your thighs and tugs them forward with whatever coherent muscle strength she has remaining. just in time for the tension in your core to coil tighter and tighter, the lowerhalf of your body trembling with all the signs of an incoming orgasm.

“does my dumb little girl wanna be fucked, that, bad? hah, fuck nes' what would your brother think?” you mock so cruelly, totally disregarding the fact that there is a slim possibility, raihan is searching for the lost pair. and it just so happens that nessa's poor little brother had been observing for a little over half the engagement. fist wrapped around his pathetic cock, suit collar pulled between his fangs, ocean blue eyes fixated on you; your hip strength, the way you rolled and plunged balls deep into his sibling. his body felt so empty, only riding his high off the two of yours', praying he'd finish before you caught him lurking like a sleaze. it was so unfair, why did nessa get to taste your sultry cock before he did?

you can feel the bass reverberate in nessa's throat as her lips nip at your hilt, impatiently trying to babble out a response adequate enough to your liking. her mind is flying, no correct sense of direction as it attempts to form a reply, but all that breaks past the barrier is a few pitiful mewls. her nose is burried in your pubes and she's lost all feeling in her throat, only motivating her to show off the lump on her neck even more. you watch as your length disappears into the depths of her mouth for the hundredth time that night, hands pushing down the lacy strap of her dress in a last ditch effort to find something other than her hair to latch onto for support. her scalp is on fire and she can only accept the stinging sensation as the roughness of your thrusts increase in magnitude.

the club is filled to the brim with lewd moans and needy pants; those of which included raihan's. every inch of her esophagus is being used— you happily ram your cock down her throat a few more times, your balls were quivering wildly. contracting and spasming, boiling with a fat wad of potent seed all ready to venture inside of her. nessa squeals, feeling a thick bulge travel up the length of your cock, up to the head and straight on her tongue; some spurts flowing down her neck while the rest collected in her mouth. painting her insides a translucent white that would surely stain.

just for good measure, nessa deep throats your empty dick with a few simple strokes; a white, sticky ring forming around the base of your shaft after she detached from your dick. a lewd pop, followed by a line of stringy saliva connected her lips to your bottomed out cock before she ruined the trail by letting her tongue lull from behind her teeth. letting you get a nice overhead view of her empty mouth, watching as the last bits of your load traveled down her throat and out of sight for good.

“god.. such a g'girl. you sucked on my cock so nicely, princess. wasn't that a way to end the night?” a blissed out smile creeps over your face, marveling in the aftermath you caused. you gave the right side of her face a few taps from your cock— dried tears and sloppy makeup tainting her cheeks. cum dripping from the corners of her mouth, as a cocktail of her own spit and your semen coats the back of her throat. it was all one big look of;

euphoria.