#you can tell by the way i use my walk
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#all the pretty girls walk like this#you can tell by the way i use my walk#making my way downtown#transformers#rise of the beasts#rotb#optimus prime#tfp optimus#bumblebee movie optimus#cab with legs#truck with legs#look a those honkers#memes#random#i have more
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Cossacks Without Corduroys
It’s taken me so long To hit my stride, that I’ve run out of pants, and My underwear can hold Only so many things
#poem#writerscreed#twcpoetry#poets on tumblr#goatsmell#you can tell by the way I use my walk#i'm a busy man#no time to talk#stayin' alive#unlike most of the#brothers gibb#oof#i'm going to hell#anyway#so what's the deal?#may as well roll in the daisies#now that my pants have fallen off#it was a waste of good pants#goddam pantwaste#cruel summer#smoke and#mcdonalds#in the air
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me omw to scare mormons out of a wendys!! 🍂🖤🍟
ootd from like 2 weeks ago and yes that really happened
#ootd#doodles#art#illustration#fashion#fall#autumn#autumn vibes#cozy vibes#self portrait#artists on tumblr#i havent done an ootd drawing in a while and i just wanted to Make Something#the mormons story: my friend and i stopped at a wendys and there were these two Stock Image Of Mormons dudes sitting at a table#and me and my friend are obvious gay and in different directions. you can tell we are Queers(tm). i look like This and he has#long curly hair and huge earrings. we are the poster children of what mormons prolly show kids and say 'these people are going to hell'#you'd think we had walked in holding signs that say WE LOVE GAY MARRIAGE AND ABORTlON with the way they stopped and started#muttering to each other while looking dead at us in the checkout line. like the entire time. and after a few minutes of whispering to#each other they pick up their food and book it tf out of the restaurant. still looking at us *as they go out the door*#it was so fucking funny. anyway then we stole their table#good! gtfo. i dont want cultists with my fries thanks#im glad my gay autistic aura is strong enough that i scare freaks like that by just Standing There thinking about a crispy chicken BLT#sounds like a 'and then everyone clapped' story but that really did happen to me and ive been laughing at it for 2 weeks now#what Isnt true is that i pulled a whole leaf out of my pocket. that shit was in pieces. and i dont know where it came from
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berowne "my girl is so beautiful i hope i die" love'slabour'slost
#berowne has one brain cell and he uses it to come up w new & creative ways to say 'rosaline is the prettiest woman to ever walk the earth'#love's labour's lost#shakespeare#berowne#rosaline#my art#ws#david tennant#nina sosanya#<- specifically their versions of berowne and rosaline btw you can tell i did not want to draw those over detailed outfits tho#Once again i am here with fanart of a dt shakespeare role nobody gives a fuck aboutgshjlkhflkjbhflkhlkj2#(im trying to draw one every week until i see macbeth)
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sneeping with his legs up over his head for some reason... weird boye
#cats#love the second picture... skrungly sleepy well rested boye face...#since he's an elderly boy now sometimes when he wakes up from a nap he looks a bit scruffy and squinty eyed#Hard to beleive he's like 15 though.. he still looks like a kitten to me.. due to his giant round creature eyes and childlike demeanor#I think it's interesting that like... baby cats are babies. kittens are kittens. and you can tell a cat is like 'young adult' phase#looking from like a few months to maybe 1yr or 2yrs.. but after that they just always look the same to me#a 5 yr old cat is a 10 yr old cat is a 15 year old cat. unless the cat in question is particulalry aged or youthful#I still have so so little energy... it's been icy here this week. like not even FUN but just scary icy even thoguh i lOOOVE the cold#and its my favorite weather. I think it'd be okay actually if I had a woodburning stove/fireplace/hearth thing. literally thats my only#concern with the power going out. I genuinely don't mind stuff like having to go to the bathroom in buckets or cook over a fire or do other#less conveninet things. Its just that if eveyrhtng is electric then you have no way to cook and all of that. well.. and I literally need#background noise to go to sleep lest my ocd sprials become so loud I am slowly driven into maddness.. but a few battery packs or something#and a phone with one downloaded video I could play on repeat is fine for that. I dont need internet. ANYWAY.. so so sad that my fav#orite season ever (winter) is here. and the first cold of the winter is like... just an ice storm that you cant even walk in. I#love like 4 feet of snow where you can play in it and stuff. But just a thin flat sheet of a few inches of ice over every imaginable surfac#is not really playable. the wind speeds are so high and so many trees fall it's actually not that safe to go hang out outside anyway unless#you were in a totally clear open field. which is SAD also because i love ice and high winds. i love to stand out there and get whipped in t#he face with ice crystals and feel like I'm in some dramatic movie or something. but alas.. the threat of being attacked by a falling tree.#I did go out some but again it's like. literallyyou cant walk on it. so I just squatted and dragged myself along the ground lol#One of my stories has a whole section where the main characters are trapped in a deadly cold environment for a week and have to use magic#to survive and etc. etc. so I'm always like.. ouuu.. I should go in the ice.. it's Writing Research actually.. *foolishly gets frostbite*#THOUGH yesterday I went on a harrowing evil journey down a bunch of icy hilly roads to go check on some person's cat because the cat#had been left in the house for like 5 days at that point with nobody to check on them and nobody else seemed to want to do anything#about it (like call all of the neighbors or try to get someone out there) so I just went myself with a roommate who agreed to drive me.#It seemed acting totally normal and I gave it more food and water but.. I am still worried about it.. Apparently the person will be able#to get back to their house tomorrow but.. I dont trust them. But I couldnt take the cat with me because it's like.. a stranger's cat#basically and also no carrier + very skittish.. so I feared if I just tried to carry them bare handed they'd definitely leap from my grasp#and then it'd be like.. sliding on a sheet of ice chasing a cat and so on.. I still think they need to be watched for health issues tho >:|#ANYWAY.... many cat adventures lately... and strange weather... I wish for a normal week without always so many Things Happening.. augh
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kinda crazy how the main girl group I went out with fell out bc of a man tbh
#all the way back in December oomf threw a bonfire and I went and it’s like a huge countryside estate basically#So I got really drunk and started riding a golf cart around and he joined me (his idea)#And then he started telling me how he’s only 23 and how he can sleep w any woman he wants and basically feels like he’s settling???#I was too drunk to comprehend this so I was like Wow you don’t mean that right#Then he hit on me later that night and walked in on me and the guy I was into making out in his car#By his car I mean the guy im into#My friend’s boyfriend literally walked up to the car multiple times to check in on us#Actual worst night of my life#I mean the other guy just wanted to fuck me so no heroes in this story but honestly still insane I was caught in the middle of that#we’re going out together tonight tho so yay#(I do not wanna see her boyfriend’s face I hope he’s not home bc im picking her up tonight)
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If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.
#this is slightly joking but like also not but also like am mixed on Ulysses on many factors#infuriating because i sympathize with his pain but it’s like#he is a well written and fundamentally flawed character whose hypocrisy I found doubly in#black characters I can tell were designed by white people with a semblance of an understanding of activism and bipoc oppression#but not enough for the character to not feel like hand holding for the majority white audience#plus personal grips with the whole twisted hairs thing and reference to slave braiding patterns#Ulysses irks me as a black person on a weird personal level and I can go into debt on why him being black is a big detractor for him to me#like he continues this cycle of distancing himself from his roots before remembering over and over again through his actions#he leave so much in his wake that the courier ends up correcting or helping like in honest hearts and old world blues because he’s self#righteous in a subtle way even to himself that he believes he stand out of his one man rule when he does not play an active hand#saw a post talk about how you choose to continue moving through his story and can leave at any moment and this it is partially your fault#but what of the oath that is set before you and is forced to take that he set up#I do not have to walk it but when I do the steps are not my own but those taken for me#you have to go out of your way to change it which is not something he expects because he’s playing by a story he’s been perpetuating in his#head about you two and the effect one man has when he’s continually been that one man more so than you as many of his actions directly lead#to the one you go through also the irony in the flag he continues to bear being the real reason he has no home#like he reps it when the package is likely enclave and thus use the same symbol#also still can’t get over how anyone could have delivered the package and he tries so hard to act like it was the couriers destiny or fate#when this was the one case of chance and that once man was likely a enclave engineer and how it’s really is never one man#it the process and he’s so annoying about it like he’s a cool character but if you don’t believe in his philosophy or already went through#these ideas cause they are very common talking points in poc especially BIPOC spaces he’s just old hashings and stunted#fallout#fallout new vegas#Ulysses you upset me but I’m like I feel you could be better if you weren’t so incessant#I don’t think I ever want to make a serious post stating this about him just because I’d start yapping and it’d never get finished#ulysses fnv#fnv ulysses#lonesome road
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the current state of the arg
sorry guys the art isnt arting D:
(btw if youre confused on why i drew turnip like that i was referencing the picrew he did ages ago bc idk it looked fun to draw anddd i dont like taking reference off real life images)
#i felt like just a lillll bit of a creep relistening to voice messages over and over to find a good quote but. yk what. it was worth it#i totally didnt take reference from the really cool face i used in that animation because im still really proud of it#idk if emi or TD have a sona but if they do im not aware of it and i didnt feel like asking so i just drew both of them as blank characters#im too stressed to scheme lol#maybe#just maybe#i need to stop drinking tea because the caffiene makes me anxious#...#naaaaahhhh#i dont really know what to do with myself atm because i dont want to work on the animation unless turnon is ok out of pure spite#this morning i was absolutely radiating stress#i have a friend who shows up so we can walk together to school and she could tell smth was off lol#i literally could not hide it at all even if i wanted too#i kept pulling my hat over my face thats the main way you can tell that im stressed#not that it really matters that you know that bc none of you are ever gonna witness that but. fun fact abt me ig#ugh#if turnon dies i am gonna cry so hard <333#and i wont finish the animation <333333333#(at this point just trying anything to get turnon back)#im gonna make a word doc#i make word docs when im stressed /hj#quick question turnip : is there a way to get turnon out of the situation he is in or is he just gonna die and theres nothing we can do#about it /gen#because i have a sneaky suspicion that we cant actually do anything about this#i swear to god#LETS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!#A DEFRAG MIGHT COME OUT TMR!!#its been 21 days and a defrag takes on average 20-25 days#ough#turnip and addon im gonna find where you live and i will burn your respective houses down
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#this one's like a fucking mystery. who's that pokémon?? what pokémon is this?? you can't fucking tell unless you open the cut or read below#where i tag what pokémon it is. i think i'm gonna put this one's tags above the actual name of the pokémon just to throw y'all for a loop#because this one? i don't even KNOW what counts as front-facing. i'm ASSUMING it's the top one?? but the prey eyes are just#unbelievable so i included that one under the cut. i don't even know if i can consider that “prey eyes” at this point. what is this thing??#what's the thing protruding?? a mouth?? it doesn't lend itself to making it look any more like a moon! it just— it just protrudes!!#i really just don't understand. what or why this pokémon is or exists. what type is it? pure psychic?#nnnNNAURP rock/psychic. can't believe i forgot about the rock typing considering the way that guy with the solrock in swsh#raid battles used it. whatever i think i've successfully revealed what pokémon this is by now#lunatone#and yes‚ i know now that zangoose walks on all fours in pmd. THANK YOU!!! FOR TELLING ME. EVERYONE ON TUMBLR#i got it when the first person told me. i looked them up. i saw them. with my eyes. i feel like i've talked about pmd enough in these tags#and in asks that i've answered that you all should know how much of a pmd fan i am by now but i guess it's GOOD TO CONFIRM#perhaps no one really does read these tags. unless they have an opportunity to correct me. lasered in on that#i'm not like mad i'm just like WOW everyone told me. that is SO many people telling me after the first one did and i know SO hard#anyway. i'm gonna go remove these tags from the dusclops post. pphhhheew
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slowly I'm recovering the beauty of discovery
(creature by half•alive)
(textless + timelapse below cut)
#yellowart#subnautica#i feel like the timelapse is kinda long but also this did take a long time to make#anyways. let me yap about the meanings of all the panels <3#'i am creation' -> the ocean being the source of life and where shit evolved from also a good way to sort of 'set the scene' for subnautica#'both haunted' -> GHOST leviathan; in the BONE fields#'and holy' -> this one was a bit trickier. debated about using the emperor but i knew i wanted to use her elsewhere#also debated hoverfish because its cute and well liked so i thought that would be funny for 'and holy'#also something something jesus walking on water also makes it fitting. in the end though i decided on a peeper with the enzyme trail#and i *tried* to make it loop over its head like a halo but idk how well that imagery came through. still mentioned it in the alt text tho.#'made in glory' -> was REALLY torn about this one. on the one hand i wanted to have like a picture of the code because something something#divine machine and it being made out of code making it inherently holy or something; but i wasnt sure if that would be too#'immersion breaking' since most of the stuff in this is like in game stuff i wasnt sure if acknowledging that it was a game would be#too much. my other idea was to draw a couple of creature eggs like a stalker egg and a spadefish egg or something; but in the end i just#went with the one that i personally thought was cooler so if you think it does feel out of place uhhhh sorry i guess lmao.#also yes that is code from the game. idk shit about programming i just think code shit is cool so i poked though a modding tutorial til i#found what it is they use to look at that shit and started poking around. its pretty cool tbh. anyways the specific part i chose for the#drawing was something under the peepers; i think its the bit that tells the enzyme peepers to do the enzyme stuff like the trail obviously#but also some other stuff. not 100% sure though like i said idk shit about this sort of thing but everything in there seems pretty well#labeled its kinda impressive. and very helpful for navigating even if you dont know shit lol.#anyways. 'even the depths of the night cannot blind me' -> blood kelp trench is i think one of the darkest biomes in the game#possibly THE darkest so i thought it would be fitting. probably my least favorite panel though i dont think i did a very good job#representing the area or representing the bloodvines :/#'when you guide me' -> sea emperor but more specifically her messages to the player telling you to 'come here'#'creature only' -> not sure how well i can articulate this but basically the idea of humans beig animals with animal needs to eat and drink#and the idea of being a part of the ecosystem. modern life tends to make us forget that sort of thing but id imagine for ryley being on the#planet would violently remind him of this with things trying to eat him while he has to try to eat things as well. being part of the food#web. 'creature only' because he is only a creature not non-essential systems maintenance chief; but a creature living in an environment and#trying to survive. or something like that. does that make any fucking sense to anyone besides me? whatever.#anyways yapping over 👍
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Jeongin having almost no votes on that poll makes sense to me, not because I think he'd do particularly bad but because I'm utterly certain if he ended up stranded with one of us he'd just up and leave and I wouldn't blame him
#he'd be like No. Sorry. Good luck. Bread baii.#seungmin is honestly a wild card bc he didnt get scared much in the haunted ep and he can be calm and level headed#so theres the chance hes actually a decent choice#but then I remembered him asking lee know if he could pick the cabbage with gloves and lee know was like ? Yeah... and i go Hmmm. No.#changbin is strong but also he's a lil city boy and he's a bit of a scaredy cat- hes gonna AHHH and im gonna AHHHH#and the creature will get us... But to go out in the strong arms and against the changbiddies of seo changbin? not a bad way to go#han is clusmy as hell and i think our personalities are similar so together? we'd die near immediately.#maybe by accidentally walking off a cliff or something not actually related to ghosts or strandedness#felix would be crying and freaking out and then I'd get annoyed bc crying makes me Uncomfy and i'd snap at him and then i'd feel SO bad#i'd have to give myself up to the entity as apology for being mean bc who could go on after that?#Hyunjin is gonna scream and im gonna follow suit and we're gonna get taken out also near immediately#but maybe he'd let me wear his versace glasses for a minute#so yeah lee know to me is the best bet 👍 im still goin chan tho#regardless of if you get off the island or not: You- yes YOU- will be attacked and cancelled by stay twitter no matter what#im avoiding go to clean out my uncles house can you tell
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crazy but true: the easiest way to make friends is to fucking lie
#STORY TIME i saw this guy in roblox 🤓 with a damien thorn avatar and i walk up to him like omg no way damien he’ll park can’t say hell lol#and uhhh yeah we get talking about sp naturally the conversation moves to ships cause we’re clearly both fucking faggots#and errr yeah we were talking about the movie how we both ship gregstophe#he says his fav ship is dip and he loves pip#my first thought? LIE. fucking lie. okay well no that’s my second thought. my first is to say “i want to see pip hanging” so i say that#and then that’s when i fucking lie. “nah im jk i like pip tbh”#i do not. but that’s okay really i just don’t care that much about him. like yeah he exists i guess#now i realise i must ask a very important question. kyman yes or no. tells you a lot about a person.#so i ask him. he’s a kyman anti. luckily for me i simultaneously love and hate them whilst also having no opinion on them at all so i can#use this to my advantage and agree with him#okay cool we’re friends now. i can’t stop winning!#guys don’t be like me. don’t lie to make friends just tell the truth. tell the truth to the damien hell park guy on roblox god damnit
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#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it#my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with#and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l#lovely?#bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am#glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone#since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life#he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even#harder now. in others he is easier.#he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken#about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better#my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he#hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his#personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the#nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off#he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn���t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he#still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay#long when you call in to see her?#whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael.#not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart#i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him
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i mean i should probably stop saying shit just to be mean
#on the other hand....#the social environment cultivated on here almost demands it lest i let people walk all over me#definitely one of those skills i picked up in childhood to survive social situations back then#not a great skill. not even one i particularly like using. in fact i hate this part of me that feels the need to be judgemental#the logical part of me- the more ~~evolved~~ part of my spirit you could say knows its stupid and has hated doing it since forever#i completely stopped for a while. and then my abusive ex did all the shit they did so i felt like i had to dig that judgemental asshole sid#back up to defend myself bc ik thats the level they operate on. but it also started being the level a lot of ppl on here operated on soon#after (and im not entirely unconvinced they weren't an influence as to why people became more of an asshole on here)#(them or twitter. probably a mix of both but mostly twitter users coming here lol. also had to be an ass on twitter to survive)#so now i feel like i have to cling on to this side of myself i was more than happy to let rot in the dirt bc if i dont then people are gonn#use my vulnerability and niceness and lack of desire to use ad hom n shit against me so they can bully and abuse me and say whatever#and i have to keep this image up of being unphased and happy all the time and then i snap and then its a whole problem to people#so basically be nothing ever bc ppl on here will think thats you forever moral of story i guess im not sure.#best advice i can give: dont exist online publicly in any significant way. if you wanna be a pfpless. bioless account that is your god give#fuckin right okay. never are you obligated to be part of this shit and im personally telling you its hell and if i knew then what i knew#now i would have never started coming on to tumblr in the first place. its cool i learned about all this queer stuff or whatever but it#sucks otherwise#tumblr. twitter. insta. any social media where the point is to make posts and write posts more than anything else#dont bother. so much is lost in text-style communication. bridging gaps is nearly impossible. you will always be misunderstood#i think thats the case for most vocal communication but ESPECIALLY digitally
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#vent tw#death mention tw#okay I need to post this bc I’m. going to explode into a million shattered parts if I don’t#my grandmother on my moms side who lived with us my whole teen years. who I helped care for. passed last night before I could go visit her#and instead of IDK FUCKING CALLING ME TO TELL ME my estranged idiot sister just texts me basically ‘Oop she died 🤪’#what the actual fuck#I deserve to hear from our mom? I deserve to hear like the rest of the fucking family?#my cousin did it right and said ‘call your mom’ but you just fucking take it on yourself?? how inconsiderate and conceited to take that away#how little do you see of me to not show basic fucking compassion??#I will never not hold this with me every time I think of my grandmothers passing#I’m a fucking adult. I’ve lived on my own for 3 god damn years. and yet you can’t extend me the BASIC FUCKING RESPECT of letting me find out#the RIGHT WAY#I broke my no contact out of respect for my grandma. I promised to walk into a house I was fucking prisoner in half my life.#I looked past my pain and my trauma out of basic fucking human decency and she couldn’t wait a few hours to let the news reach me properly#and before I can even say my goodbyes she’s gone and this is how you tell me??#she KNEW I was in contact with our mom again#she KNEW#I lived with grandma I HELPED TAKE CARE OF HER#I picked her off the floor when she fell I made her food when she was hungry I READ HER BOOKS WHEN HER HANDS SHOOKTOO BAD#I knew they were monsters but are you fucking kidding me?? this is so so low I’m in fucking shock#I thank my partner and their family every fucking day for teaching me what real love is#because after you live your whole life trying to love people who are only playing roles for the sake of appearance you can never go back to#the cold lifeless greyscale power plays they call unconditional love#god I just#I’m just so fucking tired
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It's so exhausting having things different about your body or brain that just makes this whole *gestures at literally everything in society* thing undoable. It's frustrating to just do anything and then realised there's mountains I need to cross before I can do things others do and expect me to do as well and so effortlessly. But it just takes so much effort to do that and when it's over, the mental exhaustion just makes it even harder the next time you need to do a thing.
#vent#personal but ok to rb#about disability in general#physical and mental#I'm just laying here with such intense brain fog with executive dysfunction and anxiety freezes on top.#I feel so stuck in onr spot despite physically being able to move but im trapped in my own brain because it won't in the way I need it to.#Its like having tar in your mind and every time you tell yourself to “get up” the tar weighs you down and thought gets lost in it.#You can't think straight and everything feels like floating but you can't get your body to react properly and do what you want it to do.#Frustratingly it can do other things and is set to those little tiny things only.#You can't do other things like getting up and going where you need to go or focusing on what you need to focus on#You're stuck in this loop of yelling inside your head to just MOVE but your brain's ability to focus on the command “move” is lost somehow.#I can feel my body there but it doesn't respond to all the things I need it to.#It just only does some of the things; the simplest things it can categorise as Can Do Without Steps.#For me this means things like getting up (shifting body and leaning down and moving and then walking to a focus point and remembering why-#-I need to be there and go there at all and then do that) somehow becomes too many steps than just “use muscle memory to click”.#I'm stuck feeling like I can do something and being able to do something physically similar then realising I can't do it at all.#It sucks
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