#i completely stopped for a while. and then my abusive ex did all the shit they did so i felt like i had to dig that judgemental asshole sid

[snekdood]

i mean i should probably stop saying shit just to be mean

[dolche-tejada]

You know, I think this ending would have been slightly less of a fucking disappointment if the heroes hadn't been so unfairly favored by Horikoshi compared to the villains. I mean, seriously

Deku destroys every bone in his body multiple times throughout the story and is warned that if he continues, he'll permanently lose the use of his limbs ? Everything's fine, his body's just got used to being reduced to a bloody pulp somehow so there's no consequences for him. In fact even when he literally loses his arms to Shigaraki, he gets them back two minutes later thanks to Eri because guess what ? Her horn still works even when cut off from her body. How convenient.

Gran Torino gets his ribcage obliterated by Shigaraki ? Don't worry guys, he'll survive that despite his old age and injuries, and this to have no particular role in the plot afterwards.

Bakugo dies heroically trying to buy time before Deku arrives ? Lmao, did you really believe it ?? No of course not, Edgeshot just uses his last-minute Deus Ex Machina to save his life at the cost of his own and- Oops nope he's fine too, my bad !

Hawks murders a criminal fleeing for his life in cold-blood ? The best Hori has to offer is him completely free and in charge of the HSPC.

And no, losing his quirk isn't a real consequence for him because not only it literally played a major part in saving the world with Vestige!Hawks raising an insurrection among AFO's quirks, but also because his quirk has always been the element through which people exploited him.

Endeavor abused his family for years and completely destroyed his eldest son ? No jail time and no media backlash for that, the only blame he received was due to the heroes' failure to stop the League during the Raid Arc.

And don't even get me started on this bs about facing hell or whatever for what he's done : He's literally free and wealthy ; he have Rei, Fuyumi, Shoto, his sidekicks and Hawks on his side ; and all the difficulties he's apparently going to suffer are off-screened.

Deku had to sacrifice OFA and his future hero career to save the world ? Guess what, Bakugo invested all his time and money to make him an Iron-Man suit and now he can still be a hero with everyone else.

There are plenty more examples of this but I think you get the idea. Now let's take a look at the villains' ending :

Toya is now a piece of charcoal kept artificially alive for the few years he has left, unable to move a finger, and whose few minutes a day during which he can stay awake will be spent talking to his father who abused him as a child.

Toga, a literal teenager, killed herself to save Ochako and because she knew it's still better than rotting at Tartarus her whole life.

And not only did she die but she did by bleding to death. Let me repeat for those who have trouble grasping what I've just said : In a manga where the heroes can survive having their heart blown to bits, being impaled Kakyoin-style or smashed against buildings like a fly on a windshield, one of the main antagonists died of a fucking hemorrhage…

As for Shigaraki, after learning that his very birth and all the tragedies of his life have been orchestrated by AFO, after all this development and narrative promises about him being saved in the end... Deku just kills him.

Because despite all his speeches about saving him, it seems like the best he could do was beating him both physically and mentally until he crumbles to dust…

Compress on his side is apparently locked up for life and kept alive by machines too.

A begging Kurogiri tried in a desperate attempt to save Shigaraki, only to be unceremoniously blown up by Bakugo and dying off-screen without anyone giving a shit, including Aizawa and Mic.

And Spinner will now spend the rest of his life struggling with the extra quirks inside him that affect his body and mind, while having to cope with the thought that his boyfriend best friend and companions have either died alone or are locked away for life in horrifying circumstances.

Clearly not the same as with the heroes...

Now don't get me wrong, even if they suffered just as much from the consequences of their actions or the plot as the League, this ending would still be a disaster in terms of writing but AT LEAST it wouldn't reek that much of hypocrisy.

[getvalentined]

FF7 Fandom PSA

This is not a callout post, this is a warning about a genuinely dangerous abuser who uses fandom spaces to acquire victims.

Apparently my abusive ex is ingratiating himself into fandom spaces again, so if you're in the FF7 fandom please keep an eye out for someone calling himself Pix or Pixeled.

The details of what he did to me specifically are available in a post from almost exactly two years ago, readable here. Other people have shared their own stories, but I don't have the energy to dig up all of them. Trigger warnings for gaslighting, emotional abuse, violent threats, forced isolation, manipulation, and more that I'm definitely missing.

Known usernames:

Instagram: midgardsomrnights, pixeledartsy, okgoosefus, pixeledpalace

AO3: pixeled, pixeledxxx

tiktok: pixrexpen, gaywrathlet

FFXIV: sarielperedhil (on Brynhildr)

ko-fi: pixrexpalace

Other: pix pendragon, pixeled pendragon, pixrexpendragon

Some of these are current, most of them are not; he's no longer active here or on Twitter that I'm aware of, so I'm not referring to his usernames there, but he uses some combination of parts from these for his usernames everywhere so they followed the same theme.

This is not "fandom drama," this is a sincere warning to anyone in his orbit to be careful and be safe. Please love yourself more than he wants you to.

With that in mind, there are more personal details under the cut, discussing the fallout of going public with his abuse and more of his behavior; no screenshots on these because it's years in the past, not all of the related accounts and spaces still exist, and back when I was first gathering evidence I had to stop before it lapsed into the territory of emotional self-harm.

Same trigger warnings as above, plus racism, (implied) sexual exploitation, sexual manipulation, and discussion of Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

I want to be very clear that I was not the first person to go through this, I was just the first to go public afterward. I have lost relationships with people I thought were friends by doing so, and actually been referred to as abusive in response to my initial thread on Twitter letting people know what he'd done. I've had people who used his treatment of me as an excuse to join in with hurting me go on to co-opt my abuse to make themselves look like victims, claiming that we were best friends until he drove us apart—or worse, to use him as a complete stand-in for their own behavior, implying or outright stating that he forced them to isolate me from friends and fandom activities and treat me like shit, all while these people have me blocked on every possible platform where I could reconnect with them.

Pix was the Bad Guy of early 2022 on FF7 Twitter, and while he deserved the title, not everything everyone said about him was true. Not everything everyone said about me was true, either, but people tend to take anything connected to fandom as "drama," even when it involves literal abuse.

One thing I never told anyone except my closest friends is that Pix drove me to the verge of suicide multiple times. He put up videos insulting me to be "funny" and got friends laughing along, when I asked him to stop teasing me all the time he exploded and said that he was allowed to express himself however he wanted and if I had a problem then I should break up with him so he could finally kill himself guilt-free, he told me that he wasn't going to placate me anymore by saying "I love you," he told me in public spaces to shut up because I didn't know anything. He used racist slurs against Asian people behind my back and told everyone who called him on it that I'd told him it was all right, leading to a continuing belief among some circles that I have some deep internalized racism toward my own fucking ethnicity.

He told me that his mother saw me as a whore and a homewrecker, because I'd seduced him away from his boyfriend of eight years—in spite of the fact that I told him outright I did not want a romantic relationship with him because he was already in one, and I wouldn't be party to cheating. When I went public with what he did, he claimed that I pressured him into a romantic relationship, neglecting to mention that he'd been pushing for one almost since we met and that I'd shot him down because he was already with someone else. He said that I'd forced him to break up with his boyfriend, and seemed to be implying that I'd somehow sexually exploited him because I'm a cisgender lesbian and he identified as an aro/ace trans man at the time we broke up. When we got together, he identified as a bisexual nonbinary person.

To be completely honest, though, his orientation and gender identity doesn't even fucking matter with regards to the implication that I exploited him because we never had any form of sexual contact—unless you want to count RP, which I don't, and if I did I would be calling him a cheater because I was not his only RP partner.

To be completely clear, we were in a long distance relationship, thousands of miles apart, and we had no sexual contact. We never sexted, we never had phone sex, we never even exchanged dirty pictures. Our relationship had no sexual element whatsoever. He eventually told me in no uncertain terms that if/when we got married, he wasn't going to sleep with me because he didn't have a sex drive anymore due to trauma, and that since I loved him so much I'd have to be happy with that.

He would remind me of this when my Body Dysmorphic Disorder began to relapse constantly from the amount of stress he had me under, because my experience with the condition is rooted on my lack of physical femininity and leads me to see myself as completely sexually repulsive. When I was triggered and trying to untie the knot in my chest that made me want to throw up at the thought of my own body, he would remind me that I didn't have to worry about being too ugly for sex with him, because he was never going to fuck me anyway. That it didn't matter if I was disgusting, because he found all bodies disgusting, so really I was lucky to have him. He didn't even care that I was disabled and that my arms and legs are too long, that my joints slip out of place all the time, that the way I have to move sometimes to keep from hurting makes me look "weird and stupid." I was so lucky to have him, because even though he was very aware of all those things, he didn't actually care. He wasn't going to fuck me anyway.

The last Christmas card he sent me literally had the words "You deserve a high-five!" printed on the front, and on the reverse he'd written something along the lines of "okay but you know I'd be sure to miss and slap you in the face, sorry not sorry."

He made my life hell in every possible way, and people said it was drama because we met through fandom—and that I deserved it, honestly, since I was so fucked up and he was such a good person for even caring about me in the first place. I deserved it, people said, since I turned around and stabbed him in the back after he'd done so much for me for the years we were together. It was just fandom drama, they said, and I was just thriving off the social capital it allegedly earned me.

And now he's back and making new friends, but it's fine because this all happened years ago, and everyone with a brain should be able to see that it's just fandom drama. But it's not. It never was. Don't let him convince you otherwise.

[butch-reidentified]

well my wife & I had literally just arrived downtown, were still walking down the sidewalk to the bar, when we run into this guy on the corner interacting aggressively with a very anxious-looking woman trying to lock a shop door and two young boys. my wife instantly steps in and firmly asks the man to step back a bit while I check in with the woman. he's obviously drunk and belligerent, and starts shouting at us. "I'm just talking to my son, I'm not allowed to talk to my son?"

she explains very straightforwardly that this is her restaurant she owns, and he's her abusive ex who's always hanging around her restaurant and trying to manipulate the kids by talking shit about her and giving her diabetic son candy. she tells us that the local police and "everyone" knows about this situation, that's she's tried twice to get a restraining order, he's stolen from her and her restaurant multiple times, etc.

he asks my wife and me with disgust if we're "girlfriends or something," to which I respond that it's absolutely none of his business. he asks us why we're in his business, then. She tells us he slapped her a few minutes prior, because of what she was wearing. He says it isn't fair that he "never got to see her like that" while they were dating because he "was always working in her restaurant." I ask him who the fuck told him seeing her ~like that~ was his right.

we ask her if she wants us to walk her to her car/home, and she says she lives a couple blocks away and that would be really good. as we walk away, he tells her "spirits" are going to come and get her tonight. so we walk with her and the kids, let her vent about him and everything she's tried to do to stop this without anything changing, how the police don't care and how they believed him that HER home and restaurant were his because he's a white man and she's a black woman, and they interrogated her while asking him nothing.

On the walk, he walks up behind us to a bit ahead of us to where the older boy is on his bicycle, and starts talking to the older boy again, but not before shouting to us that "men should be with women." She refuses to engage, and we follow her lead. I ask her some questions to get a feel for what she might have or need. We give her our phone numbers and a short spiel about available community resources and the importance of women looking out for other women. I tell her I can connect her with those resources and am happy to arrange help for her to complete the restraining order process, as the barriers preventing her previously have been things like being unable to arrange for childcare so she can go to court. She asks if she can give us hugs, and we say of course.

We stay while she and her piece of shit ex verbally battle for control of the older son. She's asking him to come up to their apartment. We can't hear what he's saying to the kid, but he keeps shifting position to block her from making eye contact with her son. She tells us he is teaching the kid to view and treat women like he does. She tells us the kid needs counseling and is struggling with depression.

We stay until the older son gets his father's permission to go upstairs with her. He approaches us on the corner as we wait to be able to cross, and asks us again about our relationship to each other. We tell him again it isn't his business. He asks why we get to ask for all of his information, then. My wife points out that we didn't even ask his name.

for several long and irritating minutes, he stands a foot away from us running his mouth while we wait to be able to cross. at a couple points, he borders on threatening, but never crosses the line. I keep my hand on my gun in my pocket regardless. I tell him I heard what he said about "spirits" and if anything happens to her tonight (or at all), we'll know who did it. he tells me I'm funny. my wife has already made a phone call, and we have three people on the way from our friend's bar (which is 1 store over from her restaurant). he hears her phone call and tells us that's a bad idea. I ask him if that's a threat. he stays silent as the light finally turns and we begin to cross.

he doesn't follow.

on the way home, we pass three separate police cars, and my blood is boiling hotter each time.

I really hope she's safe tonight. I really hope she reaches out and lets us help.

tonight was a stark reminder that all of our communities are rife with abusive men and abused women, all the time, and nobody is looking out for these women. know your community's needs and resources. any day or night could be the time you stumble across one of these situations. you'll be grateful you have that knowledge to share when you do.

[akiranzee]

📃 • ° ` — “MARRIAGE IN PAPER”

-> PAIRINGS: Tengen Uzui x f!Y/n -> SUMMARY: You’re a hopeless romantic who was always fooled by love, but one day, this certain man comes in and changes your perspective in love. -> WORD COUNT: 2.5k+ -> CONTAINS: fluff, angst (reader’s backstory), a little swearing, too many exes/breakups, cold/mean reader, talks of trauma and abuse, & tengen is 26 while reader is 25. -> A/N: this is modern au lol. also, his wives js play the roles of his ex gfs, so yeah u have him all by urself no sharing😉.

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------------Complete!------------

May 15, 2000.

It was in the heat of summer when your parents decided to take home a tall, muscular, and handsome young man together along with his parents, whom your mom called “son in law”, while his parents called you, “daughter in law”.

Everything was going great so far, and you didn’t like it. Not even a single bit.

Because 1st, the fact that your parents never told you about this kind of shit until now, and 2nd, because they knew damn well you had a boyfriend, but still decided to push this “arranged marriage” contract thing.

The guy’s name was revealed to be Tengen Uzui, and his parents’ head whipped directly towards you and started to ask you questions.

You were not comfortable about it, and fortunately enough, your phone started to ring, and it was your bestfriend that was calling.

Oh, thank the lords for this amazing best friend you have.

“I’m sorry, but I have to answer this. It's an urgent call.” You say, standing up while putting the phone to your right ear.

Uzui’s parents whispered “go on”s, and off they go ahead with their chatting.

You then answered your bestfriend’s call.

“Oh lord, thank god you called me! I was almost gonna be interviewed in this whole marriage thing! Like, can you believe it!? They actually set me off to date someone when I don’t even know him. Plus, the fact that they know my boyfriend Luke is still here!? Ugh! They don’t know how to consider my feelings!” You ranted on your bestfriend, not even giving her a single chance to speak.

“Okay, calm down girl. I just called you to update you that your boyfriend Luke is in a cafe all sweet while holding another girl’s hands! So yeah, you maybe wanna reconsider about Luke being your boyfriend now.” She said, her last sentence saddening.

“...Wow. That fucking jerk. I’m gonna beat him up to a pulp once I see him. I swear to god, that motherfucker doesn't know how to be grateful!” You said, really feeling angry now, but deep inside, you hate yourself for loving and trusting someone like him.

“Well, you should give him a taste of his own medicine, right?” Someone behind you spoke up, startling you with his tall figure.

“Is this what you call as ‘urgent’?” He asked, putting his hands on his hips.

“What are you doing here?” You looked up at Uzui, but not really high, just enough to meet his eyes who strangely has an amusing expression while putting your phone down from your ear.

“Well, you’re taking quite a while aren’t you? So, your flashy husband comes in and saves the day!” He grins widely.

You just cringed at that, looking at him with a look on your face as if he was the most disgusting creature to ever deal with.

“Stop acting like you’ll be the greatest husband in the world, every man is the same.” You said, walking pass by him while bumping your left shoulder on his right shoulder.

“Oh? Damn, did this Luke guy hurt you really hard? Look, we may not know each other yet, but in my past relationships, I have not seen one of my girlfriends cry because of me, like seriously, never. I never hurt them.” He tried to explain.

“Oh really? How come you’re now single huh?” You replied, sparing him a side eye glance.

“Well, that was because you came along.” Was all he said, and it was simple, but that stopped you in your tracks for a minute, and you could feel your cheeks warming and heart beating.

~~~~~

October 23, 2000.

“You may now kiss the bride.” The priest said, and everyone cheered on the both of you as both your lips touched. You didn't want to do this, but for the sake of your parents’ and families’ reputation, you’re forced to go along with it.

As the kiss ended, the both of you smiled brightly, but the both of you also know that you’re only faking it.

And then the crowd goes cheering on.

~~~~~

“That was a hell of a wedding, was it?” He asked, laughing slightly. But you found his joke no fun at all.

“Let me get things clear, for the next 5 or 6 months, we’re getting a divorce. And within this house, you can drop your sweet husband act and you can go to your girlfriends. And you’re sleeping here in the bedroom, while I’m sleeping in the guest room. I hope we don’t mind each others’ businesses by then.” Was all you said, and bam you left the room.

And of course, your husband didn’t find that quite agreeable.

~~~~~

9:00PM

You were about to head to bed, when suddenly there’s a knock on your door.

You sigh, and opened it up only to reveal Tengen.

You looked up at him with a confused look, but he just smiled and said,

“Um, it’s kind of hot in there, so I thought maybe I could-” He hadn’t even gotten a chance to finish the sentence, when the door slammed right in front of his face.

You feel bad, of course. But you can’t allow another man get into the way of your life again. Luke was the 7th time. And you can’t let the 8th time happen. Never again.

Not with Luke, Haku, Sendo, Kaedo, Andres, Davin, and Caesar.

Those were the names you hated the most, that made you remember the most pain.

Caesar that bastard, he was decent at first sight, but after the both of your engagement, he took a wild turn and almost killed you. Luckily, your father stepped in and stopped him right on time.

Davin that prick, fooled and manipulated you into giving him all your money, but luckily enough you had your bestfriend by your side to expose him.

Andres that rapist, raped a lot of women and child, and you were the next victim. Luckily your neighbor was there to hear your scream.

Kaedo that criminal, who killed a total of 16 people threatened you to not say anything and play the role of his sweet innocent girlfriend. Luckily there was a bottle of wine in front of you, and knocked him down. He was said to be in a coma.

Sendo that robber, tried to rob your money to help his poor family, and yes, you feel sorry for him, but that was no excuse to rob you. He should’ve just asked for your help. Luckily you caught him red handed when he snuck up to your room.

Haku that drunkard, abused you way too many times that you had enough of it. Luckily enough, when he was about to hit you with the bottle of beer he was holding, there was a knife beside you and you instantly had to stab him. It wasn’t your fault, you weren’t given enough choice anyway.

And Luke that cheater, dated with another girl behind your back. Luckily, your bestfriend was there to see him.

And with all of this that happened, did you really think you could trust ‘love’ once again? It had hurt you way too many times than you’ve hurted yourself.

And what, you’re gonna give this Tengen an 8th chance so that he’ll betray, hurt, or even to the point he’ll kill you?

No way, you don’t want that to happen. That’s why, starting from now on, you’re never gonna trust love for the 8th time. Never again.

What if this Tengen turns out to be like Caesar? Decent at first, then now plays an opposite part once married.

You can’t blame yourself. You can’t help it. You’re just afraid to trust again, afraid to get hurt again. It wasn’t your fault they turned out to be bastardous rodents. But yes, it was also your fault for trusting. And you hate yourself because of that. Because you’re dumb, fool, and a fucking useless bitch.

And you swore to God that Luke is gonna be the last one to hurt you.

Although you won’t admit it, but you felt bad for slamming the door in his face.

You wanted to say sorry, but it's better this way. To be a cold, heartless wife than a soft, foolish wife. It’s better this way, if you keep being mean to him, then maybe, he will come to hate you.

Or atleast that’s what you think.

The next day, you found yourself waking up to smell a delicious meal, and when you went downstairs, the food you smelt revealed a drooly meal served in the table, with the chef fixing and preparing it.

“Oh, you’re awake now? I was about to head upstairs and wake you up.” He said, smiling gently at you.

Your heart almost melted at the scene right in front of you, but you know better to not get fooled again. So, you went back upstairs and locked yourself up in the guest room.

It was followed by a knock then, with Tengen asking if you were okay or not. You really wanted to open up to him, you felt pity and weak, but your past experiences taught you best to never feel that way once again.

And then the knocking stopped, thinking he already went away, so you opened the door to find him sitting down on the floor, patiently waiting for you.

“Ah, did you calm down now? Guess what, I made you a flashy breakfast!” He said, standing up and smiling brightly.

“I don’t need your stupid breakfast, just leave me alone, okay?” You sighed out, walking past him and going straight to the bathroom.

“Oh well, guess that didn’t go well as I thought…” Tengen thought, scratching the back of his neck.

~~~~~

And then the next day, you find Tengen tending to your flowers when you came back home from the supermarket.

“Ah, welcome back, Y/n! Your poor flowers here wanted something to drink, so I gave them water!” Tengen smiled brightly.

You decided it’ll be hard to brush him off if he acts this way. Maybe this was apart of his plan after all to make you feel attached to him, then break your poor, sorry, heart.

And then the next day, you were asking him if he got the water and electricity bills only to find out he had already paid for them, so you grabbed your wallet and give him the money bill, but he insisted you keep it, so you ask him why. His answer being,

“Because you are my wife, and married couples look out for one another.” He said and it sounded so sincere, but you thought this was just apart of his ‘plan’, so you just ignored and walked away.

And then the next, then the next, then the next next next next day, he still made you breakfast, drove you to work, gave you gifts, and kissed your forehead while sleeping despite you being mean, arrogant, and cold to him.

Days went on like that, up until you grew sick and tired of it.

“Seriously, what do you want?” You asked, while chomping down the food inside your mouth.

“What?” He asked, talking while his mouth is full.

“You keep on trying to make amends with me, while me on the other hand, visibly don’t like you. Why do you keep pushing yourself to me?” You question, putting down your fork and spoon.

“Because, Y/n… You are my wife.” He said, smiling gently while wiping the sauce off of his mouth.

“So, if another girl was your wife, would you have treat them this way?” You asked, looking deep into his eyes, trying to look for the true answer.

“No, Y/n. That will never happen. For me, you are the only one.” He said, continuing to eat.

And you can’t help but fall in love with him little by little, even when you think or maybe know, he’s just gonna break your heart, just like what your exes have always done.

For you, it was a sin to fall in love again.

So, you can’t. You never can and never must let this man turn your once cold heart go back to the once kind heart.

~~~~~

You were out in the market to get some groceries, when all of a sudden, you accidentally bumped into someone, his figure tall and muscular. You expected it to be Tengen, but no. You were dead wrong.

“Pfft, you’re still the old short Y/n I knew, huh?” It was Kaedo.

You dropped the eco-bag you were holding on, terrified to see the face of one of the men who brought you terror.

You faced your back to him, about to run away, but was stopped with him holding your wrist tightly.

And everything around you just… started to get blurry. You were filled with nothing but panic and rage, but mostly it was because you were traumatized.

He was about to drag you somewhere, when someone spoke and held his hand that held your wrist.

“Hey, what do you think are you doing with my wife?” A familiar voice interrupted, that the panic you were feeling suddenly went away and now you were feeling safe and comfort.

“Wife? This bitch is your wife?” Kaedo asked the man, who you now looked at to be the one and only flashy man, Tengen Uzui.

“Yes, and don’t call her ‘bitch’, that’s so not flamboyant.” Tengen replied calmly, but you could see a vein popping in his forehead.

“Seriously? You defend someone like her? That’s the bitch that put me in coma for 4 months! Plus, she’s a filthy spoiled brat anyway. She only depends on her parents’ money, and then claim that it’s from her own hard work. Seriously, you women are pathe-” He was cut off by a large fist hitting his right cheek, leaving you shocked and gasp by the way 2 of his tooth fell out.

“If you ever come near me and my wife ever again, I’ll make sure I’m gonna be the one to put you to coma again.” Tengen warned the man with a death stare, and pulled you out of the scene.

“Hey, hey, are you okay? Did you get hurt? Did he touch you? Did he-” Tengen frantically looked around your body, but you cut him off saying,

“Why would you do that?” You said, feeling an unknown feeling that was familiar to you, but was unfamiliar.

It was you falling in love. Heart thumping rapidly, cheeks flushing, palms, neck, and forehead sweating, and hands and knees trembling.

What happened? What has happened to the swore you made, to never get fooled again?

But can you even ever call this getting fooled?

In all those years that you’ve wasted finding the perfect boyfriend for you, you’ve finally found someone.

Someone who treated you better, someone who cared for you, someone who protected you, someone who truly loved you, and someone better than them.

“Because I love you.” He looked down to you, and just from the look of his face, he is obviously smitten and in love with you.

Maybe a marriage in paper isn’t so bad. Maybe, just maybe, he might be the right one.

[icystorm76]

Lauren’s commentary

I’m forcing my sister to watch IWTV and her commentary is genuinely hilarious. She accused me of posting her comments somewhere, then gave me permission to do exactly that. So here you go, her comments on episode 3. (She’s never read the books)

About Raglan James

“Is he a vampire? Is he Vampire ex boyfriend?(When asked why she thinks that) “He seems the type, you know? Like he would judge them then sleep with them.” (I reiterate that she’s never read the books, I guess Daniel just radiates vampire fucker vibes. She just guessed the completely wrong guy)

“Why is he trying to be on the phone? Is he actually one the phone? What is he doing? Oh shit, I missed something, rewind”

“Are you posting my commentary somewhere?” (I am now, lol)

“Hehehe, raglan”

“I can’t see what he’s writing! Milf? Is that what he wrote?”

In the library with Armand

“OH MY GOD HES FLOATING”

“Do you think he has nudes on that computer?”

“I know they’re vampires but does their architecture have to be so brutalist?”

“His bone structure is snatched. I hate his eyes though”

“Of course YOU do” (In response to me saying I like the eyes)

Paris (Armand’s narration)

“OH MY GOD, did he turn Lestat”

“So he’s into bondage?”

“There are laws?!”

“So he has fire powers”

“Hehe, you’re ugly and I hate you, fuck off and die abuser” (she’s not a big fan of Lestat)

“Boo, tomato tomato tomato!”

“The only thing I like about Lestat is his voice”

“Are all vampires gay?”

“Hehehe, the way he’s standing there.”

*Awful French accent* “LeSTOT!”

“Ah, so the abused becomes the abuser. You’re perpetuating bad stereotypes there”

“Oh god Lestat, I hate you. Where Louis?”

“Armand and Lestat, sitting in at tree A-b-u-s-i-n-g. First comes hitting, then comes throwing, then comes dropping Louis out of the sky!”

“Yep, still hate him”

“Oh he cray cray”

“You know what? I hate both these people and they deserve each other”

“Oh my god Lestat you messy bitch”

“Diabolical!!!”

“Ewww, get a room”

Paris (with Louis and Armand)

“Hell yeah, welcome back Pookie”

“I fucking hate him. How do you like these people?”

“How have they now been hatecrimed yet? Like come on guys! I’ve lost faith in Paris’s homophobia” (My sister is a lesbian btw)

“He can read your thoughts Buddy”

(When Lestat starts singing) “AH AH AH PAUSE IT *full body contortions as off possessed by Saten* I didn’t think it was possible to have a physical reaction to an Ick. Oh my god I had a full body reaction to that. I feel violated. I feel really and truly violated.”

“LeTHOT”

“OH MY GOD IM CHOKING. WHAT IS THAT ANGLE”

“No, because the images of Lestat looks like those cameras that make you look like you’re walking on a really tiny world”

“Why is this episode called No Pain. All they do is give each other pain”

“Pause it, no stop, rewind. You’re at a 10, I need it to not exist. LeTHOT, what are you doing? I’m so disappointed. I mean, I knew this was a show about the awareness of Stockholm syndrome, but I didn’t know it would this bad. Every day I walk outside and I think life is great then I come back inside and you make me watch tho shit. I need you to get your lips off of him. I don’t think I can continue”

“This using, love, OH, thank you, keep going, this is better than porn” (while Louis is murdering “Lestat”)

“OH, Real Rashid, by babe!”

“There’s so many files”

“They have a curfew?!”

“You mean the one where Lestat abused you? Because it kinda seems like Armand is going to do the same”

“They got that at home goods, didnt they?”

“Oh, wow. but Daniel’s not a Vampire, so he doesn’t count”

“Uh, wellllllllllllllll”

“Side note, I love that the vampires can’t age but you can tell Louis’ getting older because he parts his hair like a balding middle aged man”

“Thought that when they kissed that it would be like that scene in despicable me 2 when their noses bumped and stopped them from kissing”

[campgender]

Hiiiii I'm interested to hear what quotes/song lyrics/etc are resonating with you right now? I *love* seeing your 'bookshelf' quotes and how you interweave different contexts together!!

Also! Have you read In The Dream House? & if so, I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on it...!

omg thank you so much!! 🥺❣️ oohh what a great question, you always ask me such thoughtful & insightful things! 🫶💓 this got long so i’m gonna talk about In the Dream House in a different post :)

i’ve been super into Neon Trees’ latest album, Sink Your Teeth, lately— the lead singer, Tyler Glenn, is an ex-Mormon & he is so immeasurably talented at synthesizing themes of abusive religions & relationships.

i’ve been thinking a lot in particular about how “Leave,” while ostensibly about a breakup, so powerfully encapsulates my experiences of leaving the evangelical church — a few months ago i saw a tumblr post where someone edited the “if shit sucks hit the bricks” meme to say “if shit sucks hit the books” because they ‘wanted to make a more positive version’ & that honestly broke my heart bc messaging that You Can Leave is so fucking vital & transformative!!

when i was 18 i Left without any announcement or communication; i did the best i could to simply drop off the face of the earth, because my self-preservation was so new & fragile that it would’ve completely withered under anybody’s argument or affection. i carried so much immense guilt over that for the better part of eight fucking years, even as i started to recognize how limited my options had been, until i listened to this episode of Mormon.ish where Jeff Hofheins discussed how he managed to escape his role as facilitator of a chapter of the LDS Church’s abusive 12-step programs: he didn’t text anyone to say he’d be taking a break, he didn’t organize a substitute or replacement, he just stopped coming.

i absolutely wept listening to that as i realized that i supported him. i thought he’d made maybe not the only possible right decision in that kind of situation, but a right decision. yes, other people feel pain when we disappear without warning, but that is the fault & responsibility of the abusive system; it can be a tragedy without being something i’ve done — things i’d started to think over the past few years but hadn’t thought i’d be able to believe.

i really love the echo of Tyler’s voice during the bridge: What are we fighting for anymore? It sounds like a long time coming. We'll always be in frenzy, but it's time to leave like we mean it. even if it’s gonna suck after, that’s okay, that doesn’t have to be a reason not to leave. fuck all our achievements! no matter what good you might’ve had or done in the church, you can still go.

Leave like you mean it / Say that you won't, then I will

Leave like you mean it / Burn down the house that we built

Let's make the end of our time / Like the 4th of July

Fuck all our achievements / Leave like you mean it

[radio-static13]

i am someone who only knows how to love unconditionally. once i love someone, i can't ever stop. i don't know how, and i wish i did because, more often than not, it has grievous repercussions. i have bpd, im an all or nothing kind of person. the only exception to this ever has been my ex, who was an emotionally and sexually abusive piece of shit. i feel nothing for him now but disdain. and though lately i've been reminded a lot of those years i spent letting him happen to me, and even though i'm completely outraged at the person who's caused all this...i can't understand why i can't hate him. i hate what he did, i hate that he turned out to be just as bad or even worse than my own abuser, i hate all the disastrous consequences of his actions, i hate that it was him of all people. and yet. i don't know how to hate him. i desperately want to. but just like i will never hate my father in spite of the horrible things he did in life, i can't hate him either. i don't know how. it doesn't mean i forgive or condone any of his terrible actions, but. he helped me survive at a time in my life when i felt like ending it. he picked up a lonely, broken child and called him a brave hero. the first book i read was the graveyard book, and i really saw myself in it. and then even more so in the ocean at the end of the lane. next was good omens...

i know you're supposed to separate the art from the artist, but as an artist and a writer myself, how can i? that art is built out of bits and pieces you tear out of your own soul, out of memories and places and people and experiences in your life, stories you craft and weave with your own arteries. yes, writers are liars, but all the best lies are based on truths. to quote the man himself, "We writers – and especially writers for children, but all writers – have an obligation to our readers: it’s the obligation to write true things, especially important when we are creating tales of people who do not exist in places that never were – to understand that truth is not in what happens but what it tells us about who we are. Fiction is the lie that tells the truth, after all."

it can't all have been bullshit...

my dad used to be incredibly abusive to my mom. i grew up watching them fight and seeing him belittle her. he also loved her very much. they would spend great times together, talk for hours, bring the groceries while she cooked, give her the best gifts. he was also abusive to his kids. he also did everything in his power to give us a great life, a big house, the best education, and all the commodities he could afford, and spend quality time together. he really cared for his family. he used to be incredibly queerphobic. he was also the one who took me to my first appointment with the endocrinologist, and was there when i got my first T shot. he called me his son before my mom did. i resent a great deal of things, but i will never hate my dad. i miss him terribly. he didn't deserve to die.

and i miss neil. and sure, maybe i was just in love with an ideal, just the beautiful persona he wanted to be known as. and it's sickening to think that the hands that cradled and soothed my fears were tainted with the blood of innocents. but they held me, didn't they? and the voice that told me i was brave for being unapologetic and speaking my mind is the same one that made so many people afraid to speak up. but i'm here because i chose to follow him. i chose to listen to his gilded words, and i still believe in them - i'd be in a graveyard otherwise. though had he been a siren, i'd be dead. had i been at the wrong place at the wrong time, i might've been on the list of all those who regret ever meeting him.

and yet, i can't hate him. i've loved him for too long, and it's nauseating, but i can't lie to myself. i still do. and i hate it. i hate that i can't hate him. it's been the easiest thing to do for most, but it seems impossible for me. i only hate myself for it.

i love him.

i'll never forgive him.

and this is all the more reason why i want him to pay for the consequences of all the hurt he has caused. i hope it's hurting him just as much. and - maybe this is just wishful thinking from a foolish dreamer, but - i hope he learns.

[hetalia-club]

Giving you this bc ur like, the only hetalia blog i still follow that still posts. But like.

Okay back in 2018-2019(?) i had a pretty big hetalia phase, i watched hetafacts videos n every episode that was on YouTube, i listened to the music on repeat. It was a major hyperfixation before i knew that i was autistic.

For the longest time after i stopped, engaging with hetalia for some reason i would. Cringe really hard whenever i saw anything hetalia related. Like. On ao3 when you go to search things it tells you how to search things and one i got (and keep getting) is like "hetalia tag:f/f" or something idk how proper ao3 searches work. Id like screenshot it and go to my friends n say "it haunts me" or some shit.

But like recently ive been. Embracing that part of my past? I guess? Like. Almost like coming to terms with it? Idk i started having a less bad reaction n like, realized it probably one of the more normal fandoms i was in. I was, cringe, as all kids are, but i was. Happy.

And then like. At a sleepover a few weeks ago, one thing leads to another and im telling my friend abt the songs and how ich leibe is. Just a recipe, and how i used to listen to almost all of the songs. I show them the clip of France trying to get England to sign a marriage contract, America ordering fucking condoms from Russia.

It has been at least 2 weeks since, and i can feel the hyperfixation coming back, half the music ive been listening too again is hetalia character songs (theyre so fucking good???) and ive been getting. Urges to watch the show and. I dont know how to feel or what to do?? Like. I'm afraid almost to get back into hetalia? Like i watched black butler a while ago, and i realized how. Theres some weird fucking tension between ceil n sebastian n i think im afraid im going to have that same reaction to hetalia?

Cause like there is shit i just completely forgot about. Like. The Bad Touch Trio. And im scared man.

Im sorry to fuckin, give you all of this, but i just. I dont know what to do ig. None of my friends like or used to like hetalia, the one i do info dump hetalia stuff too does not like hetalia and is learning shit about it against their will.

Idk, should i watch the show again? Is it, good? I genuinely can't remember anymore.

Sorry for using ur ask box like a confessional

I mean I’m right there with you man. The sole reason I am still in the Hetalia fandom is because hetalia got me through some real dark chapters and events in my life. I discovered Hetalia years ago in Highschool while with a very abusive ex who had to know everything I was doing at any given time. He wouldn’t let me go anywhere without him there. I tried to break up with him but he actually wouldn’t let me. He would threaten to off himself if I did so I felt bad because his mom was an alcoholic and his houses burned down. I stopped really going anywhere at all because if I did he would come with me and he ruined my relationships with most of my friends just by being ‘the worst’. I stopped cheerleading, I got depression really bad, I started to do terrible in all my classes but I discovered Hetalia while on deviant art and was instantly intrigued. It was like “idk what this is but I will now make it my personality”

Years later while with my most recent abusive Ex that I just broke up with last November I got back into Hetalia when our relationship started to get really bad and hard to cope wit on my own. I needed an escape and something to help me avoid him and no care so much about his insults something that I could think about instead of being sad all the time. Hetalia is something that just brings me joy. Instead of venting to people, getting therapy or increasing my meds Hetalia was just always there to go back to and escape. No idea what it is about it. Won’t go into details about the relationship, it’s irrelevant right now but I’m sure you can guess.

To answer your question, no Hetalia isn’t ‘good’ it makes zero sense and is confusing as hell. But for me it’s fun to use as a spring board for basically any kind of AU I could think up. The characters can fit into any type of situation you want to shove them in.

I would say give it a rewatch, as much as you want anyway. What is the worst that could happen? You continue an interest that brought you joy? Worst case. You are a bit cringe? Who cares if you are cringe if you are happy? Also not encouraging you to live a double life but if you are embarrassed to like Hetalia you don’t actually have to tell anyone how obsessed with it you are. No one but my ex knows how much I like Hetalia and he really has no idea just how deep I am in this shit. But if people knowing about one of your interests humiliates you then just don’t share it. At the end of the day it’s your comfort and it makes you happy it’s no one’s business.

There are a lot of old fandom tropes that have disappears the BTT being one of them. They put them as a group still but I guess they call it ‘bad friends ti’ now. There are still some things that make me side eye. But that’s every fandom I feel. You can choose who you wish to associate with and who you want to block or avoid. It’s your blog you don’t own an explanation to anyone.

Personally I don’t interact much with the people of the fandom itself I got a few people it talk to every now and again but really i just do my own thing. I write my own fics for myself. I got my little tumblr, discord and TikTok, I post about my little AUs and dumb thoughts and continue on. If people want to follow me that’s great, welcome. If they don’t that’s cool to!

Thanks for sticking around with me even after your Interest in Hetalia fizzled out tho haha! That had to be difficult I am very annoying at times I’m sure 😭.

Again worst thing that could happen than if you are a bit cringe. But not being cringe is boring as hell. Irl I’m one of the most normal bitches you could find. Carbon copy white girl. Absolutely no one would guess I were a Hetalia obsessed loser irl. In a line up you could not pick me out and guess my interests. So in February I got my hair done right? I got like. 500 dollar biolage it fades from brown to strawberry blonde. Want to know the reason I got this hair style? Because of Italy that’s why. I wanted red hair like him. Did I tell anyone that? No. When people said they liked my hair and asked me why I went red I would just go “idk just felt like it” but I would be thinking about him knowing the real answer.

Good luck anon, if you stick around welcome back the water is fine. If you don’t can you toss me that life vest up there if you don’t mind? Thank you!

[the-descolada]

stupid angry personal rant because temporal memories are kicking my ass

kinda just spiking my own anger right now. it has been months and months but it's still so fucking astounding how horrible they were to me while fucking darvoing me and treating me like I was the one causing harm. some fucking emotionally manipulative self serving victimhood crap, rules for thee and not for me. bc if I made a misstep in a conversation it was immediate grounds for stopping viewing me as a complete person, and lashing out with delusional and unbelievably shitty assumptions based solely on their own insecurity and anxiety, and I had the audacity of not being a human doormat and emotional punching bag for them taking out whatever it was at the root of this on me and making me feel small, because I had no fucking idea anything was wrong until they started blowing up in the first place bc I'm not a mind reader

god forbid the person you used and hurt show any sign of being upset after you're careless with their feelings! clearly they're a threat! there is no implicit bias in this assumption whatsoever! keep treating them like shit until they make a conversational faux pas under the pressure of you coldly abandoning your friendship so you can verbally abuse them again and have an ex-post-facto justification to point to!

oh and if they bring up a promise you made based on your worry for your own capacity for unintentional projection and poor communication and gaslighting because you'd literally done it before, they're clearly comparing you to the person who did that to them before and you should definitely immediately go contact the person who whisper networked your transfem friend out of a community because they felt uncomfortable, all to satisfy your own insecurity that you might be a Bad Person and chase that innocence

what the FUCK is wrong with them. how does a person even consider behaving this way, it's fucking unthinkable. even before that decision their behavior was fucking textbook how to abuse and dispose of a transfem and that decision just cemented it with a complete violation of trust. It was goddamn abuse and I deserved better and I just have to live with this damage to my sense of connection and friendship

[alpydk]

Question first:

How hard you wanna be destroyed?

Ah shit...here it comes, if you don't like one skip it.

So be prepared to be destroyed by the HORRIBLE QUESTION GAME🔥☠️ (Friday, what could go wrong?)

3 + 13 +27+29+36 +37+54+61+63+64+70

(I have my problems to choose single ones it seems)

Me? Destroyed? I think you're confusing me with someone weaker. Like Steve Burnside. Watch me lose some followers now because of some of these answers (54 especially)

03: Do you regret anything?

Oh, tonnes of things. If I had a time machine, I'd probably be using it constantly for things. Dropping out of college, starting to s/h, getting married to my ex, resigning from my job at Blizzard, all the shit with my dad, all the times I never said no... Long fucking list.

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

I get too lazy to hate people. I get incredibly angry at people and hold grudges, but hate? Ehhhhh. I've always hated Andie McDowell. Never met her, no idea what she is like as a person. Just get irrationally angry when she is on the TV.

Look at her... Thinking she stands a chance with the God that is James Spader. Alpy disapproves.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes. See first marriage. Married my 'high school sweetheart' after 7 years together. We sort of became more friends than we did a couple. He was clingy, emotional, dependent on me for everything, and I was a headcase much like I am now who did not need a mummy's boy gazing at me lovingly all the time. For a long while, I believed I was simply asexual. Turns out I just wasn't attracted to him. Met someone at work, started getting emotionally involved with the guy. Ex found out, started crying. I went cold on him completely, realised saying 'I love you' was an automatic response rather than actually meaning it. He left the Friday. Come Monday, I was in bed with the new guy. We were divorced 9 months after getting married. 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? See above. But then he cried at everything so it could have just been the sunset or something.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

My partner says I do, but I'm not so sure. I think it's more I'm selective about who I give those chances to. Are they someone I can actually trust who has just fucked up or at they someone who's just fucking useless and not worth the stress? (Can you see where Thomas comes from now?)

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Definitely forgive. Ask forgiveness, not permission, as the old saying goes. I have forgiven so many things over the years, but you can guarantee I have logged every single one of those things for next time when I'm inevitably let down.

54: Is cheating ever okay?

Oooo.... Let me go against the grain (as usual) and say yes. Abusive relationships need an out sometimes and if fucking another person is that out, then so be it. Like yeah, we can all go on about how you just need to communicate and blah blah blah, but in reality, shit like that doesn't always work. You're not always going to find compromise and sometimes a person just isn't going to be mentally sound enough to either leave or stay in a relationship. How many people are staying with partners (in mostly good relationships) because they're afraid of hurting that person or because they have no other choice in the matter? Cheating could help both of them out.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

No. It's patronising as fuck. Stop with that shit.

63: Would you change your name?

Took me long enough to get my changed as it was. I was known by my middle name until 9 years ago. But even then, I don't think I would. I have a pretty bitching name. I think I'd rather change it to something more neutral if anything, like Max or something. Charlie was always a great name growing up. Maybe that. How is this a horrible question?

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Last person was my partner so no. Who are we kissing that would suddenly make it difficult to kiss them again? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

My kid is probably the only person I wouldn't even hesitate about. Sure I love my partner, but... it's not that simple. So yeah, my kid. And possibly Gale, if he were to exist in my life and love me and all the over caveats that would be required.

[ibims1seb]

A forever caged bird

The Sypher Trilogy

Tw: mentioned noncon, mentioned punishment, mentioned starving, a hell lot of threatening and fighting, mentioned past abuse, mentioned war, mentioned mass executions, mentioned multiple whumpers, invasion of personal space, blood, a bit of forced to watch (their birds, but intelligent, so I’ll just mention it to be safe), team whump, if there is more, let me know!

Here is the Infopost for Tye Sypher Trilogy and Here you will get to the Masterlist :)

Chapter 0 || prev (this is Chapter 2 for now because I haven’t convinced myself to write chapter 3 yet) || next

Chapter 4

If there was one thing Azriel hated more than Malvik, it would be- no, wait, scratch that, there was nothing in this utterly forsaken world he hated more than Malvik. If there was one thing he hated almost as much as Malvik, it would be Winterson. Sure, the man didn’t start any wars for the hell of it, neither was he a sadistic, arrogant, and corrupt psychopathic dictator that executes at least 27 men and women every month simply because he could, but still. As said, there was nothing he hated more than Malvik, but damn, Pascal wasn’t making it easy to like him!

“So what, one of my people attacked that asshole out of self-defence and you’re just gonna go ahead and punish all of them?!” To say the younger man was pissed was an absolute understatement. The General and he had come to the agreement that his men would do labour and help the troops from the Southern Provinces as best they could for as long as none of them got hurt or treated like less than living, breathing, sentient beings. Now this piece of shit scumbag wants to implement mass punishment for the very well-justified mistake of a single person.

“Why, that is exactly what I’m planning! You’re catching onto me, darlin’.” Azriel hated that stupid accent, and he hated that grin, and the glint of gleeful entertainment he got, not from knowing Soldiers would be hurt, but from knowing he could rile the Strongman’s ex-protégé up so well. Overs forgive him, he *hated* Winterson sometimes! Most times!

“This is ridiculous! I’d understand punishing the woman that punched the bastard, even though I’d still say he fucking deserved it, but no one else did anything wrong! You can’t hurt them simply because you… why are you even doing this?!” Granted, screaming at the man who allows you the very basics more generously than he might have to was not a very clever idea, but fuck it, the Captain felt comfortable doing it! Okay, no, he wasn’t comfortable with how Pascal’s grin faltered slightly into a tiny frown, or how he stepped closer to him so menacingly while showing off his height in all its inhuman glory.

“I’m doing this because I can and have to. We agreed that your… Soldiers were to respect me and my troops as their superiors, and you can’t punch your superiors.” The older stated it so calmly, that it made a chill creep up his spine. How could this man do this?! His Medic punched a lowly Private because he touched her extremely inappropriately, and Winterson was going to punish not only her but his enter commando?! He saw the black feathers of Dextra and Sinistra fluttering with concern as they felt their owner’s growing rage and… hopelessness, but he couldn’t care less right now. They weren’t important right now.

“Hey, if I punched Malvik, you’d give me a fucking medal, how is that different?! He is my superior, technically! The man tried to grope her, why can’t you see the bigger picture here? You can’t punish her for wanting to defend herself, and you can’t punish people who had nothing to do with it! This is completely illogical!” When he felt tiny talons sitting down on his shoulder, he finally glanced at the black-feathered bird, seeing the silent plead to stop this, but he just couldn’t! He shooed Dextra away carefully, before turning back to Winterson, which he greatly regretted almost immediately.

The golden brown eyes held no spark anymore, his ugly smile turned upside down into an even worse scowl and he stood just millimetres away from entering Azriel’s personal space in the worst possible way ever, looking there, over him, like a predator that had been denied food for too long. But a predator of that kind would be desperate, Pascal wasn’t desperate. He was… angry. Utterly frustrated that a Prisoner of War was not only demanding something but questioning and criticising his decisions as a General and leader.

“Are you done, Azzy?” Of course, not even in this situation, he’d care to use his actual name instead of that stupid nickname. “Because I’m getting bored of hearing you screech over something you have no say in. Food rations will get limited and if you continue with his ugly attitude of yours, I’m going to make it a month and not just a week, do you understand?”

Oh, how the Captain hated himself for flinching and backing away ever so slightly without making it too obvious. He knew that it wasn’t even Winterson’s fault or accomplishment, but the years of conditioning and trauma he still hadn’t recovered from after he left the Army of Peace and practically defected. “I-..” did he have something to say? Could he find a rebuttal to get the General to change his mind?

“I’m surprised you didn’t even get it yet, this isn’t about the woman, or your Soldiers, or that scumbag that thought he’d get away with touching a woman like that, this is about you. The Private has been punished and will be sent back to the main base of operations, and now it’s your time to be punished!”

There it was. That one step too close, right into Azriel’s precious personal space. He took a step back as well but was immediately mirrored by the other man until he was backed into not only a literal corner but a metaphorical one as well.

“Did you honestly think I would continue to allow you to treat my patience and good grace as something you deserve? You are a prisoner of war! You are the son, adoptive or not, of the man I and my men fight against! You deserve nothing! And yet, I have been so kind and gave you respect, food, water, accommodation, and dignity! And you still think you can push my boundaries and fight me?!”

A pathetic squeal, almost like a desperate cry for help sounded from his lips when Winterson stepped forward once more and grabbed his hair, yanking him closer. Their faces were close, way too close for a person with claustrophobia and social sensitivity. The General's hot breath burned on the shorter’s cold skin, his golden brown glare piercing through those wide, night sky blue eyes. He stood over him it’s his whole, 6-foot-7-inch might.

“You don’t deserve respect or mercy, yet I gave it to you. You should start feeling grateful every once in a while, or I might mistake you for the bratty traitor you truly are.” Dextra and Sinistra watched with all the horror their intelligent raven brains could muster as their foster father’s head was punched into the stone wall of the office in the heart of the underground military base with one strong, skull-crushing shove. It didn’t crush his skull, luckily, not like that would have done anything anyway, but damn, it still hurt.

Azriel just gave another pathetic whimper as Winterson finally let go of his hair, letting the 28-year-old sink to the floor, the back of his head bleeding concerningly, but neither cared. He knew the older didn’t like hurting him, or anyone for that matter. He was a respectable and honourable man, but he was also extremely ruthless, so no matter how much he disliked bashing the Captain’s head against the wall or forcing a group of 29 men, women, and people to almost starve, it was a means to an end for him. And hey, the end justifies the means, doesn’t it?

“Four days, half the ration. Should bullshit like this happen again, I’ll make it ten days. The more you fight me, to more your Soldiers will suffer. Now get out of my fucking face, your blood is ruining my office.”

It wasn’t his office. This was once Azriel’s place of work. Before he and his commando got overrun by Southern Provinces Soldiers after Malvik cut off their supply and communication lines simply because that sadistic mother fucker wanted to ‘drop dead weight’. He knew that the entire team on Base 162 was just a garbage bin for the Dictator’s most untrustworthy Soldiers and liabilities. And that included his unruly protégé and ‘son’.

With shaking legs, he got himself up, leaning against the wall, for apparently a bit too long, if the growl from Winterson’s throat and the slight twitch of his hand was anything to go off of. He flinched back once more, before hurrying into the cold labyrinth of grey concrete walls and floor and towards the med bay. Sinistra and Dextra followed loyally, trying to ignore the big, bleeding wound on the back of their Master’s head and the light sway of what was most likely a concussion.

He made it to the med bay. The people there didn’t even try asking what the hell happened, they knew better. Not like Azriel would answer. They stitched him up, brought him to a small, private monitoring room, and let him rest. Rest for what, he thought to himself while the world around him got dark. The mess of black feathers gently took their place on the pillow and the end of the bed, sleeping close by and watching over him. Rest to relive the nightmare once more.

—————

Technically speaking, this is not Chapter one, but it is the first chapter (other than Chapter 0) that I was willing to write. More will likely follow, I have a lot of time and boredom right now, but enjoy the treats I give you now, please ;)

Please son’t be shy to ask me about anything concerning my person, characters, stories or world building and have a pleasant day, thank you for reading this :3

Masterlist for all my writing

[anxresi]

Submission From Another Miraculous Fan...

just saw revolution for the 3rd time just to confirm that all my worst fears came true in the worst way imaginable GOD it was disgusting!  like there really are people out there who think there was some kind of "not everyone can be redeemed" message behind that vengeful, sickening, and even downright toxic writing, lol!  with the incredible amount of inconsistencies, dodgy, repetitive and poorly written dialogue behind Chloe's arc frankly i feel like people just stopped at the thought of the post and didn't really pay attention to it  what was told behind.  I especially like those people who say that Chloe will be able to taste her own medicine because now child abuse has become acceptable because she is mean!  wonderful!

  Am I supposed to be proud of Andre?  the good joke?  the man who abused his power time and time again for Chloe, who never called her out on her way of treating others, acting like a scared dog in front of his own daughter but now that he sees the error of his  manners does he decide to take responsibility for his daughter's actions?  to be a better father?  to scold her?  to advise her?  to give him limits and as FELIX would say to help him move forward in life as any parent worthy of the name would do?  nooooo of course he divorces him, keeps the nice girl with him and throws the human waste into the arms of his mother who of course has been held up as a "role model" all this time and I'm supposed to call that good writing, people are  they aware of what they are watching or not?

  let it be clear André bourgeois was never the victim of anyone even less of Chloé, he had the power to do what he did from the start, he just lacked the will and now that he gets  what is he doing?  HE THROWS IT????  no but wake up! it's Chloé's FUCKING FATHER my GOD do you really think it's the right thing to do here????André bourgeois is only what he has always been here: irresponsible  , a coward, a bad father and a poor guy!  he does not take responsibility for anything neither for abusing his power nor for supporting his daughter in these abuses all this time, he is rewarded with a nicer girl that he appropriates while he has NO  RIGHT of any kind on her but hey I'm sure Mr Lee will have no problem finding out that his daughter was left to her co-husband🤣🤣🤣, by the powers conferred on him he ejects himself from the town hall and divorces  in a snap of your fingers like man😑😑😑 you're not malediktor anymore that's not how it works!!! god the logic of the world is completely off the rails in this universe😧😧😧 he can now live his life as a movie director without worrying about his daughter  irreparable that he throws into the arms of his ex-wife without a second thought and from what I see we are witnessing the beginning or the continuity (at your choice) of the cycle of abuse from mother to daughter and we public must applaud without any form  reflection!

  the double standards and hypocrisy behind the writing of this series will never cease to disgust me and amaze me with how Thomas and his cronies always find a way to sink lower than before every time!  because yes they are ALL RESPONSIBLE, I want Thomas to have influence but from the moment you accept that shit like this should be broadcast you have a serious problem!  I don't hate Chloé or André or the other characters I just pity them because at the end of the day they are just the victims of a man with an oversized ego made megalomaniac by the success of what he has  created!  the redemption of the notorious terrorist who terrorized the city and abused his son for months will just be the culmination of some of the most mediocre writing I've ever seen on a show  for child!  even the adrienette kiss didn't inspire me anything their debut in origins not bad, evolution sucked, fixation sucked, interaction as a couple sucked EVERYTHING was boring!!!marichat was definitely my favorite here!

..............................

This is me talking now ...Apart from that, I think they thought it was a pretty sound episode! ;)

[olivereliocorcordium1983]

You know after all that shit I am very surprised but at the same time not considering the type of person Armie is that they have joint custody of those babies. She put him though absolute hell and he still allowed her to see these kids.

So she better be fucking lucky she even got that because if someone ever did that to me. I wouldn't be able to do it, I don't care if she was the mother of my kids or not.

You don't get to ruin a person entire life and get what you want life don't work that way. but I have a feeling she isn't going to listen to the courts anyway since she is all about herself.

she will still find ways to take pics of them, she will still find ways to bring her BTs around those kids.

But the only thing that I can completely agree on is the no partners around the children until x amount of time. that is seriously important especially for the kids at the age they are.

No parent should be dragging a person they sleep with around their child period. A parent should have their child's interest at heart first instead of their own.

I speak from experience. my parents got divorced when I was 3 years old but my dad cheated on my mom with 18, 19 year olds!!!! while they were still together then left her for one after he emotionally, and verbally abused her.

When I would go to his house he would drag all these women around me (not at one time he isn't Heffner) but whoever he was dating at the time he would drag me around them, I would get attached to them thinking they would stay just for them to disappear months later.

Then I would think it was my fault just for another one to be dragged in and let the same shit happen. when you do this to a child you are teaching them that once people are done with you they will leave you. That you do not care about their feelings and how it's going to effect them in the long run.

As an adult now I've had ex friends and people who I thought were potential partners emotional, verbally abuse me, use me to get whatever they wanted when they met me and then leave just like those women did.

It warped my sense of the world and gave me the attitude to never get close to anyone ever again because they will use you and leave. That people will hurt you intentionally, that no one wanted me.

DO NOT DO THAT TO YOUR CHILDREN. PLEASE.

All children want from the time they are born is YOU. they want to love YOU and be loved by YOU, they want to play with YOU. They are all about YOU. they should never be made to feel unloved, unwanted, and no respected as the person they are all because you think they need another adult in their life, or because you think you need to get your pussy/dick wet. um, no your ass better be all about that baby.

you decided to have one it's your responsibility to take care of it. it's not about you anymore it's all about that baby, and if you're not all about that baby then some of you don't need to be parents.

But narcissistic people don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves and their feelings, how you can make their life better or benefit their life until they have no use for you anymore.

example: my uncle died in 2012 my dad shows up with his new girlfriend and her three children. one of those children being a teenage girl. I am at the hospital with my mom and a few other family members who I have not seen in forever and my dad is sitting there with them.

this teenager puts her hand on my dad's thigh his THIGH we are talking up close to his junk and keeps it there! he does not move her hand, he does not tell her stop as adults should do when something inappropriate is going on. he LETS HER DO THIS!

fast-forward to the funeral my dad sits up at the front with this bitch and I sit in the back with my mom, my ex stepmom, my half sisters (yes he did that too one before marriage one after no I was never invited to the wedding though I wouldn't have gone anyway cuz that's not my thing.) and he comes to where we are sitting and acknowledges my half sisters but doesn't say anything to me.

Then when it comes time to go to the grave sight and lay my Tio to rest. my stepmom was like "go hug your dad" so I go over there and do it thinking something will change and it doesn't.

it's like hugging a brick wall and he looks at me and goes "Birthname say hi." meaning say hi to my new girlfriend.

very sarcastically I look at this woman and I say "hi" what I wanted to say was "hi I'm the first kid that he doesn't care about so... if you honestly think he gives a damn about you, you're gonna learn your just another play thing for him to play with until he tries to mold you into whatever he wants you to be and throw you away.

Come to find out guys, HE NEVER TOLD THIS WOMAN ABOUT ME! SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I EXISTED! AT ALL UNTIL SHE SAW ME AT THE FUNERAL!

and I say all of this because what Liz did to her children pissed me the fuck off. I don't give a damn if you are "lonely" or you think you are "lonely" YOU ARE NOT LONELY BITCH!!!! YOU HAD TWO BEAUTIFUL BABIES WHO WANT YOUR LOVE AND ATTENTION!!!

From the moment the divorce got final and even while they were going through that shit she should have never had partners that is basically your time to be alone and spend your time with your kids, to be 100% about them.

To teach them how to be a decent human being, to teach them they are loved and that they are cared about by you and that they are your everything. not to drag your children into your adult bullshit all because you don't want to be lonely!

That is why I don't feel sorry for her, why I don't have any ounce of respect for her and don't care what happens to her as a person. She used Armie, she uses those babies and now karma has bitten her in the ass and is going to eat her up Good fucking riddens!

[elderemorune]

What a week.

TW: Suicide discussion ahead. Please be kind to yourself and don't read if you're not in the headspace for it.

A family friend passed away this week. I first learned about it a couple of days ago. Her name was Emily, and she was a lawyer. Damn fine one too. She and I weren't especially close, but I'd ask her legal questions on occasion, stuff like "Hey, how does founding an LLC work?" or "Hey, I just learned about this really cool business idea, can you point me to someone who can help me work out what I'd need to do for it?" It was professional, and I didn't know that much about her.

What I do know is that she suffered from chronic pain, and didn't have any tools to effectively manage it. The stuff that deadened the pain's addictive, and with doctors basically not prescribing opiates at all if they can help it, she was left in the lurch. Eventually it became too much to bear, and she just couldn't do it anymore.

She leaves behind a husband and children, whom are all kind and gentle folk. I recall meeting her partner at a baseball game with my dad once, he was a swell guy. Shook my hand firmly and made jokes about an ex-con marrying his lawyer. She just gave him a withering look, said "Don't be an ass, I don't even practice criminal law!" and we all laughed.

The pain overtook her, and it's hard to blame her.

I mean, can you imagine? Body aching all the time, no reprieve except when you're asleep? Doctors telling you you're engaging in drug seeking behavior simply because you'd like to have one good fucking day, just one?

My wife lives that life too. She's constantly in pain, her body fighting her at any given moment simply for the sin of having been born to parents who ardently refused to have her medical issues treated when she was a child, her dad and stepmom chiding her doctors when they said "She has a hormone imbalance brought on by precocious puberty".

"Oh she doesn't have anything wrong with her, she's just lazy and fat."

I'm digressing from what I wanted to talk about, sorry. That woman's been through a lot, and it's so hard not to get mad about it. Especially right now. I worry so much about her pain levels that I keep her supplied in marijuana and do everything about the house to the best of my abilities just to limit it as much as I can.

And while that's the worst thing that happened this week, I can't really say the rest was good. I mean, in comparison to suicide, sure I guess, but you know.

It's fucking weird when one finds out that your mom didn't actually want to be polyamorous again.

Oh yeah, my folks were poly in 2019, and that blew up massively in their faces for reasons that are not mine to share.

Anyway, I came to find out that my dad lied to my mom about how he met his girlfriend, Sarah. He said he met her on Reddit, but had lied about taking his dating profile down. He takes phone calls from Sarah every night at 5:00, when he's supposed to shut his office down and stop ignoring my mom for the day.

My mom has no desire to meet Sarah. Says "I can't, I'll hate her, and she hasn't even done anything wrong. I don't want to meet her."

As a polyamorous person in a monogamous relationship, there is a right way to do this, and a wrong one, and FUCK is the wrong one lying to your partner about it. I mean shit, I did that three fucking years ago! And while I would absolutely state that my behavior three years ago was of a significantly different (read harsh, mean, unkind, abusive), it started this way. With a lie.

Sure he came clean, but there's nothing that can be trusted about this relationship now.

So I finish talking to my mom about this because I have other shit to do and being angry at my dad for yet another reason isn't doing me much good. She closes out with this:

"Thank you for caring about me and having my back and being my amazing and wonderful son."

To wit I said "Well it's not like I can be anyone else, right? :P"

And completely unprompted, she says "Well you could be my amazing and wonderful 'child' instead of my son and you would still be the same as far as I'm concerned. I would still love you just as much. You're one of my favorite people."

For those who aren't good at speaking white suburban mom, this translates to "I would still love you if you were trans."

What? I'm still confused by this. About once a year, I sit down and take a mental inventory, you know, see who I was this last year, and compare that to who I want to be. That includes taking stock of my gender identity. That part of the process generally amounts to "Am I comfortable in my body? Yes? Good.", but if it were different then that's fine too.

Like, I'm not GNC, I'm not genderqueer, I'm just queer.

Apparently, because trans folks often use this term to refer to themselves, my mom had simply assumed that I was among that crowd.

Again, what? What a fucking leap of logic, mom! Well, at least we know you're an ally.

And also, I'm honestly crossing my fingers with the hope that you'll divorce dad. I love the two of you, but fuck are you awful for each other.

What else happened this week? Hell, I can't remember. Wednesday was weird, but I think I already talked about it previously. That shit with Ruth was a hell of a thing. I told my wife that I'm not going to any family events that Ruth is gonna be at unless my nieces are there. Then I'll just ignore Ruth and play with the kids. They fuckin love me. Hattie, my oldest niece, makes fun of me for "Talking too big" when she brings up God. They don't like Ruth either.

This is already getting kinda long, and I've got work to do, so I guess I'll update some other time.

Please be kind to yourselves.

[cute-girls-from-vns-anime-manga]

I wanted to add, I do understand the mistrust thing. I actually had people prey on me 10 years ago and basically human traffic me. I'll never forget reaching out to every single person I considered my friend to help me out of the situation since I didn't have anyone, but no one gave a shit. I even had one so called best friend tell me she has stuff in life she's enjoying and all I did was bum her out. I really got the short end of life since I was born with very extremely abusive parents who gave me the boot after hs and cause I didn't know what love was I had a very abusive ex bf. No one wanted to help me and to this day I sometimes wake up and wonder how I didn't die. Ok sorry if that's triggering, but I do want you to know I completely understand the issues with trust. My last therapist wasn't a good fit either, but she wasn't a shit fit like the one before. I'm still searching around for therapists, but I have to stop and cope better so my mind doesn't destroy me too much from the trauma I have. I've even been told I may need life long therapy since what happened to me was very traumatic and not many people are ok after events like that.

That sounds horrific I cannot imagine that kind of pain to be trafficked like that but that isolation fear and being ignored while you cant ignore the pain is very familiar.

yes did slightly trigger the parts of my own memories of attempting to reach out or feeling abandoned to suffer in silence. I was strangled by my own brother in front of my mother and while she did at least pull him off of me no one checked up on me no one asked if we shouldn't live together anymore no everyone just moved the fuck on and since we were really hard on money at that time no one questioned us sleeping in the same room that night, two months later he did it to me while I was driving. Then he came at me one last time I was so scared I grabbed a kitchen knife to just frighten him away...he called the cops lied his ass off and got me arrested.

I just wanted to not have his fingers wrapped around my throat again and for that I got thousands of dollars in fines told I was the domestically abusive person lost my place of residence for two fucking weeks. That was the climax of the abuse the way he slowly pushed himself to be comfortable enough to do that took 22 years.

No ones pain is worse or better we all just have been though shit that left scars. We should hug each other and be better rather than compare.