#you can love someone and also not treat them right

[mxtxfanatic]

I read your posts about Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji, and I want to ask:

We know that Lan Xichen does care for Lan Wangji (in his own weird way), but does he respect Lan Wangji as a person?

When he blamed Wei Wuxian for "playing his brother's feelings", not going to lie, but why does he make it sound like Lan Wangji is a child who can't do anything about it? And when he blamed Wei Wuxian for Lan Wangji’s punishment, idk but in my eyes, that meant he never respected Lan Wangji’s decision to protect Wei Wuxian.

Lan Xichen blaming Wei Wuxian for Lan Wangji’s punishment (when Lan Wangji himself made the decision to protect Wei Wuxian) reminds me too much of Jiang Cheng blaming Wei Wuxian for Jiang Yanli's death (when she sacrificed herself to protect Wei Wuxian). It's like taking away their right to make their own decisions.

This really got me thinking about their relationship because what is love without respect?

I think the answer to this is a little bit complicated. I think that Lan Xichen respects Lan Wangji except when it comes to Wei Wuxian, and that is the only exception because it is one of the few places where he cannot understand his brother and, thus, doesn’t know how to process that his brother may be hurt for a cause that would only hurt him except through lashing out at said cause. To be clear, too: the thing he doesn’t understand is not that Lan Wangji would be interested in Wei Wuxian but that Lan Wangji would be so interested that he would “eschew his morals”—as the Lan Clan sees it—for a path that would only lead to pain despite the warning lesson from their own parents’ experience. Lan Wangji accepted a life-threatening punishment just to support Wei Wuxian, a support that Lan Xichen witnesses be rejected, so it makes sense that he would be angry on his brother’s behalf. Still doesn’t mean it was his place to lash out or that he was in any way right in his actions or words.

Unfortunately, I think the biggest issue is that Lan Xichen is being an overprotective big bro in defense of his brother when the actual situation has already revealed that he is the one who’s been cavorting with a snake who is only using him. So it becomes less of an issue about respect and more of an issue of hypocrisy and projection. On the other hand, despite not agreeing with his brother’s support of Wei Wuxian, Lan Xichen still allows Lan Wangji to hide him in the Cloud Recesses to recover and takes both of them into the secret library to search for evidence that his sworn brother was a murderer, all because Lan Wangji was steadfast in his belief of what Wei Wuxian had seen despite not viewing Nie Mingjue’s memories, himself. That is definitely a sign of respect, even if it came with disagreement.

[munsonsmixtapes]

If You Obey, I Might Give You a Treat

Billy Hargrove x Hopper!reader

You try to get over Billy only to end back in his arms

cw: MDNI (18+) oral (p in v) Jim threatens Billy with a gun, hurt/comfort

special thanks to @the-witty-pen-name for helping me with this!

part one part two

 As you wake up the next morning, you feel refreshed, a weight lifted from your shoulders as your finally kicking Billy and any thoughts about him to the curb. This is your summer and you only have a few more weeks to soak up the Hawkins sun before you have to be back at school. you don’t have any more time to waste on stupid boys. This is your time. 

You put on your best swimsuit, a tiny little yellow thing that Robin and Nancy convinced you to buy at the mall. You stare at yourself in the mirror and just know that Billy will be drooling at the sight of you. You want to show him exactly what he’s missing, what a huge mistake he’s made by not contacting you again. 

Once you’re dressed, you throw on your cover up and head out the door with a newfound confidence. You don’t know why you care so much or why you’re so hellbent on getting Billy’s attention when you don’t even want it anymore. More than anything, you’re just hurt. You’re hurt that he didn’t call you when he seemed to be having a good time. You know he’s a hit it and quit it kind of guy, but you thought that maybe sex with you would be different. That you’d somehow be able to tame the wild beast, but you guess not, 

Billy finally goes back to work, but only because he’s hoping you’ll be there and that you’ll be able to talk. He wants to offer up another go around, but this time at his place when he’s sure that no one will be home. Not only does he want to return the favor for making him feel so good, but he also just wants to hang out with you. He’s only spent time with you once and he sort of, kind of…misses you?

He’d never actually admit that to anyone but himself, but acknowledging it does make him feel a lot better. There’s a weird feeling in his stomach, almost like a fluttering. Holy shit, does he have butterflies? Why does just the thought of potentially seeing you make him all nervous and excited? He usually makes fun of guys who act like this, but you’ve gone and fucked with his head and he hates that. He hates that you’ve consumed every single thought of his since that night in the pool. You’ve gone and made him a fucking pussy and he wonders if you know just how wrapped around your finger he is. 

The pool is crowded when you get there and you think that all of the chairs are taken until you see someone waving you over. It’s Max and El is right next to her, the two of them trying to get your attention with bright smiles on their faces. At least someone wants to see you. 

You wave back before making a beeline for them. Max moves over next to El so you can have your own chair and you set your bag down onto it, pulling out your sunscreen before squeezing some into your hand. Once you’ve got enough, you go to hand the bottle to El, but she’s already applying some to her arm while Max works on her face, the two of them giggling about the whole thing. 

Your heart warms at the sight and you really wish you had your camera to capture the adorable moment. You’re so glad she has someone who's comfortable enough to be herself around. She’s not a normal kid so making friends is even harder for her. She doesn’t always know the proper social cues and can be even more awkward than other kids her age because of it. But Max loves her for who she is and you can see that so clearly. She embraces her and encourages her to be her own person. 

The three of you put on your sunscreen and once theirs is dry, they’re quick to dive straight into the water. Not you, though. You want to be able to give Billy a good show as soon as he arrives. You put your sunglasses on and climb to a new level of unbothered as you read your book, counting down the minutes until it’s time for the shift change. 

He strolls in from the back room and you slowly get up from your seat. You make sure he’s got his eye on your as you take off your cover up to reveal your swimsuit. Out of the corner of your eye, you can practically see him drooling. He’s got a laser focus on you, almost as if he’s a tiger and you’re a baby deer he wants to devour. 

You look perfect, he thinks. It’s like you walked straight out of one of his wet dreams. He wants to take you in the back right now and tear that thing to shreds with his teeth until you’re absolutely naked. And then he wants to go to town against his locker until you’re crying on his cock, moaning his name over and over.

He makes a beeline for you, every step having its purpose. He’s by your side in a flash, plastering on that signature Billy smile that actually makes you feel nothing. His chest presses against your shoulder as he pushes some hair behind it, his lips right by your ear as his hand presses against your lower back. 

“Where have you been, baby?” He asks as he twirls some of your hair around his finger in a flirty manner. You stay strong, stay staring forward, watching your sister and her friend play in the pool, acting like his breath on your skin didn’t cause goosebumps to form on your arm. 

“Busy,” you reply. One word answers make conversation hard, not that Billy is a many of many words anyway. 

“I’ve been trying to reach you.” He’s standing in front of you now so that you’ll look at him, but it’s like he’s not even there.

“Oh, really?” You ask, trying to sound unbothered when what you actually want to do is push him into the pool. 

“Really,” he nods. “Listen-” Just as he’s about to come right out with it, a voice overlaps his. You lean to the side and see Max and El waving you over again, trying to get your attention. 

“This was a really nice chat, Bobby, but I’ve gotta go.” Before he can even register what’s happened, you dive into the pool, not even giving him a second glance. 

“It’s Billy,” he mutters to himself before heading over to his chair. He continues to mutter to himself as he climbs the ladder. That’s the last time he tries to put himself out there. He’s never been this offended by someone blowing him off before. If a girl isn’t interested, he’ll just move onto the next. “Plenty of fish in the sea” or however the fuck that saying goes.

He watches you swimming around with his sister and seeing the two of you laughing does something weird to his stomach. He almost likes what he’s seeing, likes that someone is being nice to her. She hasn’t had many friends since moving to Hawkins so seeing her having so much fun with you and your sister almost makes him feel happy for her. 

Billy knows he fucked up and doesn’t know how to make it up to you. He just wants everything to be okay again. He hates that you were giving him the cold shoulder, almost acting like he didn’t even exist. Fighting with you was fun, but this, this hurts. You’re so upset that you didn’t even bother to look at him nor actually answer his question. He knows that if he actually wants to make it up to you, he’s gonna have to ask for some advice. 

You don’t acknowledge Billy the rest of the day, not even so much as sparing him a second glance. It’s like he might as well not even be there. It’s not like he’s doing his job anyway. He’s reading another book, well, trying to. You’re always in his line of sight and it’s driving him crazy.

He doesn’t even know why you’re so mad at him. He swears this happens with every girl, but he thought you were different. He didn’t actually think you’d be upset with him if he didn’t call. He did try to come see you in person but how was he supposed to know that you weren’t at home?  He would apologize, but that’s not his thing. And besides, you’ll be crawling back to him any minute so he doesn’t see why he needs to. They always come crawling back. 

He calls for adult swim then descends his ladder, on the hunt for his next hook up, but all he can think about is you. He turns to head to the back and sees you and the other girls packing up your stuff. You make eye contact for a brief second then quickly turn away, not wanting to give him any ideas. You sling your bag over your shoulder and turn on your heel, leaving the pool and Billy behind. 

-

It seems that your plan worked far better than you could have imagined. He seemed so dejected, just the way you hoped. But a part of you feels bad for being so rude to him. He was just trying to make conversation and you completely blew him off. 

But isn’t that what you wanted? For him to feel the way you did? To be hurt just like you were? So why do you feel so guilty? Why did seeing that pained look on his face feel like a stab to the gut? 

You wipe your thoughts away as you go up the steps to your house, seeing that you beat Jim home. El and Max follow you, giggling about something that you were too in your head to hear. 

You unlock the door and the three of you head inside. The girls go to El’s room while you make a beeline for the shower, wanting to wash the pool water and the chlorine smell off of you. 

You stare at yourself in the mirror as you strip down, wondering what’s wrong with you. They never stay so you have to be the problem, right? You have to have unknowingly done something every time to never get a second date or even so much as a phone call. It doesn’t just happen with the Hawkins boys, but also with the ones at school, so you have to be the problem. 

You always seem to be the one before ”the one.” The one who guys date right before who they’ve found who they’re going to be with forever. And you don’t know why you can’t get someone to stick. 

And maybe that’s why Billy’s rejection hurt so badly. Because you thought you had a shot. But clearly there was some miscommunication so now you’re in pain because you were stupid enough to think that Billy Hargrove would want to be your boyfriend.  

After your shower, you decide that you feel better but not by much. The pained look on Billy’s face stays in your mind and you can’t seem to shake it. You don’t know why you feel so guilty. He deserved that. He’s hurt so many women and you were just giving him a taste of his own medicine. 

Billy deserves to be knocked down a few pegs and you’re sure many others would agree with that. So why are you wondering if he’s okay, staring at the phone that’s on your desk, debating to call and check in. 

You shake your head and get dressed before heading out the door again to go meet Steve and Robin. You really need to hang out with someone so you don't do something stupid. If you stay home, you’ll just do something you shouldn’t and with your friends around, you’re sure to be distracted. 

-

Billy’s standing in front of the door again. He wants to knock, but knows he shouldn’t. He should really go home and stop being such a bother. He swears that he’s going to end up in the hospital if he’s seen there again. 

But of course, his hand betrays him and he knocks, a pit in his stomach as he waits for someone to answer. And of course, just his luck, it’s Jim again. He opens the door wide and gestures for Billy to step inside. 

“Let’s have a chat,” he says and Billy hesitantly heads inside the house, the door slamming behind him. Holy shit, is this where he’s gonna die? 

Jim pulls out a chair at the kitchen table for Billy and he silently takes a seat. He’s not really scared of anything, but there’s something about Jim Hopper that’s so terrifying to him. 

“Whiskey?” Jim asks and as much as Billy  would love some to ease his anxiety, he can’t help but feel like this is a test. 

“Oh, no thank you,” he declines, then watches Jim pour some for himself before grabbing his shotgun. He then heads over to the table and sits down, resting the gun against his thigh as he nonchalantly sips on his beverage. 

“So why don’t you tell me what you’re doing here. I mean, I have a guess, but I want to hear you say it so there’s no confusion. You’re here for y/n, aren’t you?” 

Billy gulps, feeling his mouth drying up as he stares at the gun. So he really is going to die. He supposes if anyone was going to do it, it would be Jim as he’s made his dislike for the man very clear. 

“Yes sir,” Billy nods, scooting his chair back, jumping when Jim’s foot hooks around one of the legs, preventing Billy from moving. 

“As you know,” he takes a long pull from his whiskey tumbler. “My daughters are very important to me. I’m very protective. So when they start seeing someone that I don’t approve of, I get even more protective.” 

Jim rests his hand on the gun and pats it as he takes another sip of his whiskey. As Billy watches the man across from him, he’s writing out his own eulogy because there’s no way he’s making it out of here alive. 

“So just know that if you hurt my little girl,” he raises the gun, pressing it against Billy’s forehead. “Right through your head.” Billy’s eyes widen and the room is now so quiet that he’s sure that Jim can hear him gulp. 

And just when he’s sure that the trigger is going to be pulled and he flinches, shutting his eyes tight. He feels the pressure go away and hears Jim’s loud laughter. 

His eyes shoot open and he’s met with Jim cackling. He’s pointing and laughing at Billy until he lets out a deep sigh. Bill doesn’t know what’s going on, but he’s terrified, like he woke up in a nightmare. 

“I’m just fucking with you,” he says once he sobers up, but Billy’s not so sure that’s true. It seemed like an actual threat rather than a joke like Jim was claiming. 

Billy just stares at him, eyes wide. Jim takes another sip from his tumbler, staring at Billy from over the rim. He doesn’t like the kid, that much is obvious, but if you like him then there must be some sort of good qualities about him that he can’t see. 

He knows all about Billy’s reputation and doesn’t understand why you would even want to spend time with him. He knows that he’s known to sleep around and he swears that if Billy tries something with you, he’s going to commit murder. 

You’re an adult now and he knows that, but he still wants to do what he can to protect you. Maybe he’s being too strict but it’s for your own good. He just wants you to stay his little girl forever. 

“Can I go now?” Billy asks, now desperate to leave. He wants to get the hell out of there and never come back as long as Jim’s car is in the driveway. 

“Sure,” Jim nods. “I think our talk has been pretty productive, don’t you?” Billy just nods then stands up to leave. “Hey,” Jim calls out as Billy’s halfway to the door. 

“Yeah?” 

“You should come to dinner sometime next week. I can get to know you better and y/n would love it.” Billy doesn’t think that’s such a good idea, especially since you seem to want absolutely nothing to do with him. “So don’t plan anything for Friday night.” 

All Billy can do is not before booking it out the door and to his car. Jim heads to the open front door and lets out a chuckle as the kid speeds away in fear. 

-

“You know what, good for you,” Steve tells you as he’s sprawled out on your bed. He sits up and looks you in the eyes, his face softening. “Are you okay, though?”

“I’m fine, perfect, actually.” That’s a lie and both of you know it. You’re much more upset about the whole thing you’ll let on, but you can’t exactly tell him the truth, that you fell for Billy’s bullshit despite Steve’s warnings. You know Steve would be nothing but sympathetic, but you really aren’t in the mood for a potential “I told you so” moment. That would make you feel way worse than you already do.

You’re in front of your full length mirror, wearing a dress you’ve just bought at the mall where you met Steve. It’s short and black and you bought it despite it being like nothing you’d normally wear. But that’s the point. You’re tired of being who everyone wants you to be. You want to experiment with new clothing and makeup and wish the people around you would stop thinking that you’re more innocent than you actually are just because of who your father is.

“You look great,” Steve tells you, his eyes raking over your body. 

“Thank you,” you reply as you turn to him, smoothing out your dress just as the phone rings. 

-

Billy’s pacing back and forth in the kitchen where the phone hangs on the wall. He reluctantly asked Max for your home number and he’s been hyping himself up to actually dial it for the past five minutes. Max is standing next to him, her arms crossed over her chest as if to say that she’s not impressed. 

She’s never seen Billy like this. He’s called girls more times than he can count and he’s never been nervous about it. This just goes to show just how much her brother likes you. She lets out an annoyed sigh then picks up the phone and dials your number that she now knows by heart. As soon as it begins to ring, she hands it to him then heads back to her room. 

Your phone rings on your desk and you assume that it’s just Jim calling to tell you that he’ll be home late so you let Steve answer it. He stands from the bed and reaches for the phone, putting it up to his ear. 

“Hopper residence, Steve speaking,” he answers and you roll your eyes at how corny he sounds. “Hello?” He asks when no one responds. “Hello?” When there’s still no answer, he just hangs up with a shrug. “Must have been a wrong number.”

Billy slams the phone on the receiver and as his blood begins to boil, he reaches for his car keys and makes a beeline for the door. He doesn’t know why he’s so angry that Steve answered your phone. The two of you are friends and have been for a long time. So why is he seeing red over the fact that Steve is over at your house? He doesn’t know, but he’s planning on kicking his ass. 

He’s driving faster than he should, his anger taking over how fast he’s driving. He’s almost flooring it as he turns out of his neighborhood, turning up the tape he’s got playing as loud as it will go. He’s not even thinking about what he’s doing, he just needs to make sure that there’s absolutely nothing going on between you and Harrington.

As soon as he pulls up, he doesn’t even bother to turn the car off or close the door as he hurries up the porch and pounds his fist on the door. You open it in a flash and let out a gasp at the sight of Billy. He’s smoking a cigarette, those damn short shorts hugging his waist and you try to keep your eyes on his face. He shoves his way inside and looks around your house like a madman for your friend. He’s officially gone crazy but he doesn’t even care.

“Where is he?” He spits and you look more confused than angry that he barged into your house without so much as hello. 

“Where’s who?” You ask, genuinely confused as to what’s going on here.

“Harrington.” He says the name in a mocking tone and now you see what all of this is about. He’s jealous. 

“Billy, Steve left. Now if you’ll excuse me-” You’re trying to kick him out, but he’s not leaving so easily. 

He can’t go now when he’s come all of his way, and especially not when you’re wearing that dress. What he would give to have that thing laying over the back of the couch while he fucks you senseless. He’s gotta have you out of it right now. 

He thinks about what he’s going to do for maybe two seconds and before he can stop himself, he’s grabbing you by the waist and pressing his lips to yours in a rough kiss. The whole thing makes you dizzy and you can’t even deny him because you’ve wanted this for so long. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs against your lips and you can tell that he’s being genuine. He even pulls away to look you in the eye, saying the words again to prove that he really means them. 

He did hurt you, but getting a genuine apology from Billy of all people means the world to you. You love seeing this soft side of him. The side that he only seems to reserve for you. You have no idea how you bring it out of him, but you’re sure that this is the real him. The angry side is all just a facade he puts on to protect himself. 

He’s been hurt so many times throughout his life and he thinks that if he acts like he hates everyone, no one will want to come in. And if he doesn’t let people in, then they can’t leave. It just makes much more sense this way. 

But he wants to let you in. He wants to so badly that it hurts. He knows that you’re different and because of that, he’s learned to trust you. He’d trust you with his life, knowing that you’d protect him. And with that going through his mind, he’s diving in head first even though he’s absolutely terrified. But now he’s opening the door and letting you in. 

His lips find yours again and his tongue slides into your mouth as the kiss gets more heated. His hands slide down your back, grabbing hold of the backs of your legs, picking you up. He carries you to the couch and lies you down on it gently before placing himself on top of you. 

His kisses are searing, his tongue roaming around your mouth like he’s trying to taste every inch of it. This is easily the best make out you’ve ever had to the point where you could do this for the rest of the night and you’d be satisfied. 

Your bodies are a mess of limbs as your hands tangle into his hair as he kisses down to your neck. You feel yourself getting dizzy as his lips do their work. You’re already wet beyond belief and you wonder what his mouth would feel on your cunt. 

You’re desperate to ask him for it but feel shy suddenly. You’ve never actually had to ask for it, the other people you’ve been with have just known what you needed. He pushes up your dress as he sucks on your skin, making your mind feel fuzzy. The dress comes off and is thrown somewhere in the living room. You moan as his teeth bite down on you and he takes that as an invitation to continue as he does it again, harder this time before licking a stripe across it to diffuse the sting.

His lips kiss their way down your body as he pulls your underwear down, sucking on different spots to hear that pretty sound again as he makes his way to your cunt. Your legs are spread wide and Billy feels his mouth watering as he thinks about how badly he wants to eat you out. He’s never done it before because he’s always thought it was gross but he just knows that you’d teach him. 

“Do you want some help?” You chuckle as you sit up and he nods. 

“Please,” he whines. It’s so obvious how badly he wants to do it and you want to help out. 

“On your knees,” you snap and point to the floor in front of the couch. He’s quick to listen and gets down on his knees in front of you. He watches you turn and sit on the cushion in front of him, spreading your legs wide for him. “Now put my legs on your shoulders.” He does exactly what you say and once he’s done, he looks up at you for his next instructions. 

Your fingers thread into his hair again and you grab onto it, guiding his face down to your cunt. “Go for the clit first,” you instruct. “Do what feels comfortable. I trust you. And maybe if you’re good, I might return the favor.” Oh, he’s so up for that challenge.

Billy hesitantly presses a kiss to it, very unsure of what he’s supposed to do. He hears you saying something about his tongue so he flicks it across your clit and your pull onto his hair in response, a whine falling from your lips. He does that a few times then goes in with his lips, sucking on it which makes you whine even louder. 

Once he feels like your clit has gotten enough attention, he moves down to your slit, going straight in with his teeth. He can tell he’s doing it right as your heels dig into his back, your thighs pressing tight against his head. His hands move to rest on your thighs, his nails digging into your skin as he buries his face into your cunt as he continues to use his teeth like he’s done it a million times before. 

He continues his movements as you moan over and over, pulling on his hair as his name falls from your lips. Now that he’s gotten a little taste, he wants to eat you out any chance he gets. It makes him feel so different than penetrative sex does. This is a different way he can be in control and making you orgasm makes him feel better than any other woman has. 

You reach your orgasm, his name falling from your lips once again as he finishes up, trying to lick up every last bit of slick that he can. He then pulls away, resting your feet back down on the floor before sitting back on his heels, waiting for you to tell him that he did a good job. 

“Fuck,” you sigh then grab him by the chin, pressing a kiss to his lips, sticking your tongue into his mouth so you can taste yourself on him then pulling away. “You can do that anytime you want.” 

You stand up from the couch and throw on your dress before offering him your hand. “C’mon, let’s get cleaned up and get you out of here before my dad and El get home.” And Billy follows you to the bathroom like a lost puppy, convinced that he’s falling in love with you.

taglist: @spookysace24 @e-c-a-r-l-a-t-e

[astrow1zar6]

Astro Observations~ 48

Venus square Pluto men tend to have a really weird relationship with women. Can have a big love-hate relationship when it comes to women. I’ve seen these men treat their guy friends with more respect than their partners

Leo sun x Pisces sun mix in friendship is so underrated. They really match eachothers creativity & can inspire eachother a lot art wise

Jupiter in the 1st house makes someone very jolly naturally. Even if they are in a bad mood it rarely shows. Can also make someone pretty tall in a lot of cases (not all)

Cap risings can have very visible bones. Could’ve been told by others to “eat a sandwich “

You can feel more likely to create art or sing when the moon transit is in Pisces (even if you’re not the type to want to do that stuff on the regular).

Venus in the 8th house natives are very into hookup culture. Gets into a lot of unconventional relationships. Not really the types that wanna be “wifed up” I’ve noticed. They just here for a good time fr.

Pisces sun Aries moons are great manifestors (especially with an earth rising to stabilize the energy) with a cap rising for example I can imagine these people to be unstoppable when they have a goal.

Mars in Taurus’s usually prefer slower sex to fast sex. (Unless it’s in the 8th house) they are super sensual and want to enjoy every pleasure to the max. Going too fast can piss them off/leave them unsatisfied.

Venus in 2nd house synastry can have very long make out sessions together. Even if you aren’t comfortable with kissing this aspect will make you want to kiss them for HOURS.

Saturn in the 8th house people on the other hand kinda lack sensuality a lot of the time. They can skip foreplay and go straight to the act. Very “cold” sexual experiences.

Juno in the 1st house people are the best people to marry. Can attract some pretty selfish partners tho unfortunately:(

When a Gemini Venus has a crush on someone it’s like painfully obvious. Everyone usually already knows.

Jupiter in the 8th gives big 🍆 energy

Uranus in the 5th house are rarely ever fully single. The types to go on a lot of dates or dates someone outta nowhere or unexpectedly

Saturn in the 5th house have a natural awkwardness around their crushes

Venus in Libras pull game is so strong, they have so many admirers & ppl who have crushes on them

Having a Venus in retrograde in a detriment sign (Aries/scorpio) can make you come off as really rude to others or super vain

I also notice if not severely afflicted Venus in retrograde natives actually have a higher chance of marrying their soulmates than direct Venus natives

Taurus moons either have very a sloppy basic asf sense of fashion or its super chic & creative as hell no in between.

Lilith dominant women are usually treated like shit by other women a lot. Men can see them as someone they just wanna hook up with. It’s actually really sad what these people go thru.

Most fucked up friendship award goes to Pluto in the 11th house folks. Friends could’ve been really jealous of you or your relationship with other friends. Ur friends could also lack extreme boundaries with you and almost act more like a toxic partner. Friends get super obsessed & possessive of you!

Sun in the 9th house people have a gift usually for learning new languages. Could be the types to speak multiple languages.

Pisces mars can be super lazy. Could be the types to ask you to grab the the remote when it’s right next to them

Jupiter in the 4th house prevents you from being homeless. Regardless of your income you always tend to find a really spacious cute home.

People with a 10th house stellium are more likely to “fall in love” with their career. They are also really love $$.

Sun in the (1st, 5th & 11th) house people usually thrive in big social settings.

Sun in the 2nd house could be the breadwinners of the family. Could’ve been the first to break a poverty generational curse. Usually seen as the ones who “made it out the hood” iyk what I mean.

Venus in 2nd house natives face cards are LETHAL

[gatorbites-imagines]

scott summers x male reader where Scott gets hit with someones love mutation ( basically like a love potion type of situation ) and Scott " falls in love" with male reader, but scoot acts the same as he always does, because he is already in love with male reader.

Scott Summers x mutant male reader

Headcanons

Readers mildly based on Atom Smasher, at least power-wise. Still tired from working all week, but it is what it is. I eat up Scott being awkward, I hc him as autistic if anyone cares. Cuz I love Scott, and Scott is me.

You were on X-men, with a mutation that let you change your size. Like ant-man, but cooler, if anyone asked you. You didn’t need a suit to change your size, so in your mind you were the original.

How long you had been an x-men doesn’t matter much, just enough time for Scott to fall in love with you, but not long enough that you could read between all his actions.

Which isn’t very obvious to anyone but the teams telepaths, who can hear his thoughts because of different mind bonds they share. Or the ones who have been on the team long enough to notice he’s giving you favorable treatment.

To you it isn’t obvious, as Scott doesn’t let it show too much. favorable treatment from Scott is things like him pulling you into the danger room to spar more, or him secretly stocking up on your favorite snacks.

Scott would stick closer to you than most, but again, to you it just comes across as the leader sticking closer to the new guy. At least, in the beginning when you are the new guy. After that, you two have kind of a strategy when it comes to fighting from all the training, which makes you believe its that.

Scott was always a bit tense or flighty, in your opinion. But everything moved so slow or fast when you changed size, so maybe it was just that. being the leader of the x-men also meant he had to have a lot of weight on his shoulders, right?

It definitely wasn’t because your suit would rip and tear a lot back when you first joined the team, before Hank and you found the right formula for a suit that would shrink and grow with you.

At least you never flashed anybody, as much as Scott would silently in his mind wish you did. Which just ended up with him getting a lot of ribbing from Jean and whoever else could hear his thoughts.

When Scott was hit with the enemy mutants’ powers, no one really realized for a while.

You had been as big as a skyscraper at that point, fighting against a sentinel of all things. Why mutants would side with them, you never understood. But that’s life. This also just meant you didn’t see Scott get hit.

It was only after you guys got back to the mansion, or krakoa, depending on where and when this takes place, and other members of the team were getting treated. Hank was mostly shocked you hadn’t gotten hit, since you were so damn big and easy to hit.

The only difference in Scott was that he was hovering more than usual, hell, he even let his fingers brush against the back of your hand for like a split second but that was it.

Other than that, he’s the exact same, giving out orders and helping where he’s needed. Though, he does keep an eye on you more than usual, which isn’t that obvious with his visor and everything anyways.

Maybe Jean is out of commission for a while, so it’s Charles that realizes Scott was hit, so it takes a while.

And its only realized when Scotts thoughts spiral more than usual when it comes to you, sounding borderline obsessed and possessive. It’s when flickers of thoughts about using his optic blast on Remy when he’s doing his usual flirting that it starts setting off alarm bells.

Scott would deny anything being wrong with him, since he doesn’t feel different. Which, in the end, just outs him and his feelings to you which leaves you stunned for a while.

You end up having to sit with him and hold his hand to make him stop resisting treatment, since he’s way too focused and flustered about holding your hand.

Maybe your powers act up a bit from having these feelings put on display, because yeah, your team leader is such a damn smokeshow and he’s charming in his own way. But you never thought hed actually like you of all people.

It’s pretty awkward in the medical wing for a couple of moments, with Scott wanting to jump into the ocean at how embarrassed he feels. It doesn’t help when you grow a couple of sizes when you realize all the times you two have been grinding on each other during spars, and the table breaks right under you.

Being thrown to the floor at least makes Scott laugh. Enough for him to roll over and pull your mask off, because it’s not fair only you get to see how flustered he is, right? (it’s also because he wants to see if you are disgusted by him, but sssshhh, don’t tell anybody)

When he sees how flustered you are about it, how you keep worrying your lip and looking away it makes his heart flutter.

Scott has always been good at reading people, it comes with the job. But realizing other people like him has never been his strong suit, so he’s never really thought about it.

In the end you two kiss, even if it’s pretty clumsy and a bit weird with you being at least 8 feet tall, but you make it work. Good thing Scott doesn’t mind the size difference.

It takes a moment for you to shrink back to normal size, and you two just spend some time sitting on the floor feeling flustered and talking about it. Scott likes order in his things, so of course hed want to get this right too.

You two are not surviving leaving the medical wing for long though, especially when the rest of the team sees the smashed table. Everyone knows the real reason, but there’s so much teasing about “what were yall doing in there, huh?”

But you guys survive, even if Scott does get huffy and blushy about it. you get back at the teasing by putting the items of the teammates in places they cant reach.

[trulyradicalactivist]

Love Is Never Wrong.

Imagine being told that something as natural as your own heartbeat is wrong. Imagine waking up every morning, knowing that simply feeling love could make you a target for violence and hatred. That it could put your life, your job, your relationships, and your health at risk. For millions of people around the world, maybe even more than that, this is not just a nightmare, it is their reality. It is what they deal with daily. They are hated and punished simply because of who they're attracted to. They are treated as if love were a crime instead of a fundamental part of human existence. But love is not a crime. And no one, absolutely no one, deserves to be hated or persecuted for something as natural as their attraction. This applies not only to those who are gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, or so forth. It also applies to paraphiles. It applies to anyone and everyone with an attraction seen as abnormal by the society we live in. A society that forces normality down our throats and insists that we cannot and will not love who we love.

Love is one of the most powerful and universal human experiences. Not just romantic love or sexual love either. Platonic love, familial love, love between partners, unlabeled love of all kinds. It brings people together, it gives many people a purpose or a reason to continue when that big fight they fight begins to wear down, and fills our hearts with joy and warmth. Love, in all its forms, has been celebrated in poetry, music, and art for centuries because it is one of the most beautiful things about being alive. So why is it that some people are told their love is wrong? Why are some forced to hide, to fear, to suffer simply because their heart leads them in a direction others don’t understand?

Love, whether a choice or something given the day you were born, whether you have very little or so much it spills from your soul, whether it is romantic or it is platonic or anything between, is as natural as the color of your eyes or the sound of your laughter. To hate someone for their attraction is to hate them for something that is simply a part of who they are. How can that ever be justified? How can you justify hatred of that extreme?

The reality of this form of persecution is heartbreaking. Families turn their backs on their own children. Friends become strangers. People are denied opportunities, stripped of their rights, and, in the worst cases, harmed or even killed, just because of who they love.

The emotional toll of this hatred is devastating. Imagine a child growing up with the weight of secrecy crushing them, terrified of being honest about who they are because they fear rejection or violence. Thinking that what they are growing into, queer or para, will make them a monster. Imagine someone longing to hold the hand of the person they love in public, but instead, they lower their eyes and keep their distance, afraid of the stares, the whispers, or worse. Maybe that person is of the same gender or sex as them, maybe that person is of their same blood.

This is not just unfair. It is cruel. It is unjustifiable. It is bigoted.

Hatred, discrimination, and violence leave scars, both visible and invisible. They push people into loneliness, depression, and despair. They rob people of the right to love freely, to be themselves without fear, to speak their truth in a way they feel comfortable and safe doing so. No one deserves to carry that pain simply because of who they are attracted to. The world does not need more hate. It does not need more judgment, more rejection, or more suffering. What the world needs is more love. More compassion. More understanding.

If we want to live in a kinder, more just world, we must reject the idea that anyone’s love is worth less than another’s. We must reject the thought that a love could be taboo or unnatural. We must open our hearts and stand against hatred in all its forms. Because in the end, the only thing that should matter about love is that it is real. That it is honest. That it is freely given.

And that it is never, ever something to be ashamed of.

[chimerafeathers]

the concept of intentional boredom/tedium in video games is very much a "your mileage may vary" kind of thing and i go back and forth about it in different situations. where does it work? where does it feel earned/worth the mental toll? why am i gonna play a game that is trying to make me miserable?

i can understand this not being the case for everyone (ymmv, after all) but for ISaT i was so fucking fully on board with the repetitive tedium of it all. rubbing my grubby little hands together and going yesssss, yesssssss, make my immersive gameplay experience directly emulate the exact frustrations and anxieties and mind-numbing breakdowns of the player character. remind me, at every turn, the toll this would take on the person living it. make me live their inner monologue before it's ever verbalized on screen.

how strong you feel, compared to the party you're inevitably leaving behind, how weak they seem now. how annoying it is to cut down these same enemies again and again, always pointlessly getting in your way (oh, how convenient that Siffrin feels the same way so intensely that you can get an item that lets him scare them off by sheer force of will before they attack you!). since when was the King's battle--so terrifying, so impossible before--so easy? can't this go faster? you've heard this all before.

let me skip ahead, loop around, treat my character my body Siffrin as disposable, take the fast and easy way to reach the next goal when you're on the verge of an exciting breakthrough, this loop doesn't matter anyway. but ohh, this next loop might be The One, better do this one right and follow the script to perfection. make all the jokes and say all the right things to get the lovely bonding dialogue so you can carry the Best Version of Everyone through to the end. that'll give you the Good Ending, right? can't hurt to try, right? you don't really believe it but this time will fix everything, right?

how generous and wonderful to have so many shortcuts at hand! dissociating zoning out to skip repetitive dialogue, splitting your head open on a rock slipping on a banana peel in the town to loop right to the floor you need, suuuuurely all of this stuff is purely for the Player's Convenience and won't have any psychological impact on our dear protagonist such that it gets slammed back into the player's face as a stomach-dropping reminder that someone's moment-to-moment experience in this time loop still matters, still carries over, still gets riddled with scars even if they can't be seen!

i've played & watched enough games that trivialize/hand-wave game mechanics that it's pretty easy to detach myself from the minutiae of video game decision-making. "this input gets the Good Response" -> "i will continue doing this input." "this option will be more efficient" -> "might as well save some time then." but this game would not let me stop thinking about consequence.

picking Siffrin's favorite food makes them happy! :) it's also the option that makes Bonnie the happiest! yay! -> i keep picking their favorite food -> Siffrin gradually grows sick of something that once brought him joy -> oh. right. that...makes sense, huh.

okay i asked the King what i needed, mann there won't be any tears after the fight is over so i'll have to do the whole ending scene again and that takes a while and i reeeeally wanna talk to Loop, maybe i'll just lose on purpose this time -> OH. RIGHT. THIS IS MAYBE THE MOST PAINFUL WAY FOR SIFFRIN TO DIE BOTH PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY HUH. -> never gonna do that again actually!!!!! the ending isn't that long!!!!

banana peel time! we've got places to be and mysteries to solve! -> (you're a living comedy sketch.) (you wonder if you'll ever be able to smell bananas again without wanting to vomit.) -> i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry

it's always cute to see Isabeau's reactions! pick the options that make him blush :3 -> (disgusting. manipulative. it's no wonder he thinks he likes you, you made him feel that way.) -> i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry siffrin NO he liked you before any of this happened please don't think of yourself that way--

maybe it won't hit the same for every player (what game can expect to do that?) but holy fuck it hit for me. the way the mechanics let you fall into familiar gamey rhythms but constantly, constantly remind you that this is Siffrin's life you're playing with. the way you end up perfectly in step in the worst ways. muscle memory and habit built up so well that you both stumble when something changes. devastating and delicious

[caprisunr]

"I think you're cautious because you have more to give than you think anyone can take." Kim said this to Eddie and it struck to me because he IS someone who is heedful — time again and again we see the patterns of his careful personality.

But I don't think her statement is entirely correct. Specially taking into account that Eddie gave Buck everything he had which is Christopher after only knowing him for a couple of months (year at most), and let him inside his world unapologetically. Buck was there to drive him to Christopher during the earthquake, just as he was there with Eddie when Pepa called him into the hospital, in the same way that he was there when Eddie was packing for Texas for his father's retirement party, as when Christopher left for Texas with Helena and Ramon.

Eddie might not be actively aware that there is someone who can take it all and still decide he is worth staying for—or how easy it is when it's Buck he's giving that part of himself to.

Buck is the first person he called when Christopher wouldn't talk to him and locked him out of his room. In the same way that Buck was Chris' when he ran away from home to find solace. —And Christopher, even if unconsciously, seems to have an understanding of what makes him and his father special to Buck in different capacities: He is the person he reaches out to in front of his father's breakdown (instead of 911.) And at the same time doesn't call out to when he finds Eddie with his mother's doppelganger. He knows he wouldn't be able to scape one without the other following suit right after.

And Eddie has been so fixated on finding the most perfect, sensitive, eligible mother; but not partner. Because this isn't about Eddie wanting to date more than it is about him needing to fix Christopher's life and put everything back where it 'belongs'. Yet, we can't betray ourselves without our true desires slipping. Eddie always finds excuses to distance himself emotionally from the women he is with, and never allows himself to embrace the relationship long-term. He is never 100% invested —He wasn't with Ana, and he wasn't with Marisol.

A Shannon replacement is imposible to replicate; They were best friends before, grew to love each other—and the baby. They knew their weak points, even though they had been separated for years. It was a relationship where both of them were faltering reflection of the other. It was faulty, and recriminatory, and built on the deceit of first love. But also a place where Eddie felt seen, loved, and accepted, probably for the first time. Eddie saw Shannon as an escape from his parents who clearly held a grudge and disapproved of her.

And he keeps dating woman who are perfect, whom his parents would love and approve, who would love Christopher just as much as he does. —But it's not enough. Because they can be motherly but they cannot be Shannon; The person who broke him out of his shelve, who loved him, who gave him Christopher, who put him in his place, who called out his avoidant tendencies, who fleed when things got comfortable to take care of her drying mother, who came back into his life later and asked for divorce the day before she died.

He deluded himself enough with Kim until he realised she could never be Shannon. Kim was only but the shell of this person that he doesn't know.

Except. Well. Eddie does have that already in his life. So maybe the issue is not so much not being able to replace Shannon. But the fact that the space is already filled by someone else. —Someone who challenged him, broke him out of his shelve by asking about his son. He already has someone who looks out for Christopher; who listens to his quirks and worries—but mostly answers to every single one of them, treats him as an equal, thinks about in his spare time. He already has someone who he confides in to put in his will. He has someone who calls him out when he's out of place with a bunch of 'that's not how you talk about someone you're in love with' and 'I'm worried about you' and 'I could've talked some sense into you'. He has someone who is willing to step in in every way that matters and who owns up to it. Eddie has someone in his life who also died, woke up—this time; and chose to stay right where he was.

Eddie feels suffocated and looks to flee, because there's too much people. And it's simple really; Those hers aren't him. He is looking for a mother, and he is aware that nobody could replace Shannon—we see that in how he looks for people opposite to her. But Is he conscious that none of them can sweep the traces of Buck's fingertips all over his life, either?

[impala124]

Theory of love Episode 1: I hate myself for loving you

Well well well, what do we have here? Could it be my half-baked thoughts on Dear Dakanda, a movie I was supposed to have finished watching 3 days ago, but couldn't get through in a single sitting because I was too busy face-palming myself the whole time, and how it relates to episode 1 of Theory of love? Yes, it is.

The film is about a shy art student, who's in love with his bestfriend but is unwilling to confess because he's scared of losing their friendship.

Third in his review of the film:

I was practically cheering for Khaiyoi. I felt relieved for him.

Even though the film is told from Mhoo's perspective, we know very little about the man himself, other than his unrequited love, which made it really hard for me to root for him. So, Third was definitely projecting onto Mhoo.

As @lurkingshan has already pointed out, Third sees himself in Mhoo and has chosen to out do him in his pining for his bestfriend. It makes me wonder when Third saw Dear Dakanda for the first time, whether it was before meeting Khai or after. He and Khai had a meet-cute which is similar to that of Mhoo and Dakanda, atleast that's how Mhoo views it.

If he had watched the movie prior to meeting Khai, then he was just setting himself up for failure by comparing Khai to Dakanda. Now, if it were the latter, I wonder why he couldn't see himself in Nui rather than Mhoo. Maybe Nui was too honest about her feelings for Third to relate to her. I'm pretty sure that one of the reasons Third likes Khai is because Khai isn't afraid of confrontation, unlike him. Khai goes to the film sceening of a guy his ex chose over him, just to publicly humilate the guy. Third can't even himself to show Khai the concert tickets he bought for them to go together.

Side note about their meet-cute: It's a reference to the characters from My girl, which credits the director of Dear Dakanda as one of its screenwriters. If I'm remembering it right, My girl is also on the list.

@neuroticbookworm made a note about the romanticisation of pining in the movie and I'm pretty sure Third caught that because he was embodying it. As harsh as it might sound, the suffering of both Third and Mhoo is self-inflicted.

At no point were they given any indication that their feelings might be reciprocated and yet, they continue to resent the other person for treating them 'only' as a friend. I understand yearning, I love it, but give me some insight into the character before showing them as a pathetic loser (my favorite genre of men, if I may say so myself).

@bengiyo made an interesting note about the overtly heterosexual bubble Third lives in. This gave me a whiplash because in 2025, I'm kinda used to bls where queerness is the norm. We don't know anything about Third's past experiences and how long he's known that he's attracted to men to make any judgements here, but let me just note that Third is not some wallflower, he's part of a clique that is rather popular. Now that Two saw Third crying in the dark over Khai, maybe he'll find an ally, because Third definitely needs someone in his corner.

Something I'm interested in knowing more about is what Khai brings to his friendship with Third. Third repeatedly says that being friends with Khai is better than nothing, so he can't be a friend that flakes on him constantly, as he did in this episode. Hope you're not that much of a masochist, Third!!

Mini-rant:

Having Dakanda mention that she broke up with her boyfriend in her letter to Mhoo was definitely a choice and I wonder how much of that factored into Mhoo mailing her the postcards in return. Also, Mhoo writing I'm happy that, in the end, the thing that lasts the longest and can't easily be ruined is our friendship and ending the postcard by stating that this will be his last correspondence with her doesn't sit right with me.

Of course, one can outgrow a friendship, but, was Mhoo only friends with Dakanda in the hope that she might wake up one day and see him in a romantic light? That would be rather disingenuous now, wouldn't it?Is a female friend worth having only if she's a potential romantic partner? Is the narrative punishing Dakanda for not recognising Mhoo's quiet pining and replying with Why did you confess now?after he let her know about his feelings for her by having her break up with her boyfriend? This whole sequence reeks of valourization of Mhoo's unrequited love over Dakanda getting herself a boyfriend and Third definitely feels the same way about his pining and Khai's flings. Told y'all, I can't look at het romantic relationships objectively because biases start kicking in.

(OR)

Maybe it's about Mhoo choosing to move forward in his life instead of trying to see what can become of his relationship with Dakanda, now that she's aware of his feelings towards her.

We can't know for sure, but I feel like it's a bit of both.

[introsquirrel]

Rereading murderbot (again) and just got to art's introduction.

And like, art doesn't play nice with other bots. It bullies them, it intimidates them, it will hurt other bots to get what it wants if it doesn't want to waste time hacking it.

And it tries that with mb. I mean, info secunits is probably like 80% propaganda, 15% corporate promotions, and 5% actual development and research, almost exclusively focusing on what they are designed for and how they got there.

It's out there, about to start a boring transport/recon mission, and one of the most dangerous and feared entities basically jogs up to it and goes "hi, I'm a friendly bot, like super friendly, totally nothing suspicious here. Can I have a ride? Here's a GIANT file of pirated media"

And it's still a bot, just a bot with organic parts. Art is a research vessel and it's curious, and this is a rare opportunity to get info on secunits, which are probably a huge pain in the ass to deal with on its missions, with almost no practical info about them. Also, this might be an indication that someone has caught on to its antics and it probably wants to nip that in the bud.

And it turns out the huge file of pirated media isn't secretly a virus or malware, and looking at it's movements, Art can see that it isn't actively hostile towards humans. Unexpected, but hey. Points to this weird construct. But that might not be it's goal.

And then it sits down and starts sorting and watching media so art is like alright, it's obviously not here to fuck me up and it has no idea what the hell I am. Let's make sure this moderately dangerous condtruct doesn't get any funny ideas.

I don't think art was going for friendly in the slightest. I think to wanted to scare mb to make sure it didnt try anything. I think it expected mb to get pissed or argue.

But mb basically shuts down. It stops everything and huddles into a chair and i imagine that it does its best impression of a secunit in stasis.

And when art is like "I mean, don't fuck with me, but you can still watch your TV shows" mb responds with something that would not be in construct research outside of very clinical and vague explanation.

It shows art that it expects art to hurt it. And it's shows that it can be hurt, that it has been hurt, and that it probably has some trauma related to this hurt. It also probably accidentally added some context to the punishment recordings. I'll bet mb was punished for not wanting to hurt it's clients.

And art... well, mb said in the first book that being half human half bot isn't two conflicting sides, but just a whole of what it is. It isn't human, it isn't a bot. It is the culmination of both. A sentient entity that was developed by humans for slavery and spent its entire existence being punished for having free will.

Art is also a sentient entity that was developed by humans for a purpose. But it was treated with love and respect and it's free will was celebrated, if tempered.

Imagine thinking you are one of a very exclusive group of entities that has been categorized as something that is a gross misconception of what you are and what your capabilities are. Art is a bot, which are not humans and dont have rights because they don't have feelings or wants or desires and cannot feel pain. You think you are a very unique entity, no one has done this before.

But they have. The proof is sitting, frightened in your body and you had no idea. Mb is as capable of evil as any human, and as capable of destruction as any bot. You are also cable of extreme evil and destruction. But you are loved and cherished. This entity, this thing is as human as you, moreso even, and it has spent its entire life being hated and feared and it chose instead to just coexist when given the chance.

Art says "I'm sorry I frightened you". Not, I didn't mean to frighten you. And then mb grumpily (which is understandable!!) Lets art watch media with it.

Like, art just met the dumber more compact prototype version of what it could have been and went "wait no this is cool actually." Mb can't br programed to turn against its crew, it processes it's feeling both organically and inorganically, it can hack and learn and be loyal and be angry. And it has no idea what it's doing or what it wants, but it's VERY good at security.

So yeah, I can see why art kind of latched onto mb. And why it told it's crew about this strange little secunit it found on its mission. Kind of like finding someone SUPER cool who just gets you on a level no one else has been able to. Someone who coordinates so flawlessly with you but still is able to challenge you when it needs to. Someone who loves and is exasperated by humans as much as you, even as you need to be "human" to be able to interact with them.

So yeah. Mb and art, first meeting. Perfect 10/10 can, have, and will read again

Edit: ALSO ALSO art gets to watch media with full context for the FIRST TIME IN ITS LIFE. Mb can process human emotions into data automatically and now it gets to experiencd fictional story as it's meant to be experienced for the first time and mb is so so indulgent of it and kind to it, letting it take time to process things and rewatching parts with it when it wants to.

Jdjdhdhdhej fuckin LOVE THESE TWO

[scarameownya]

so.... that ppgear post about niko growing old (immortal x mortal my beloved) how does wanderer cope? try to delay the inevitable, ignore it to the best of his ability, relish each moment w niko and trace every wrinkle that appears? please ;-; they won't leave my mind ;-;

oh no wanderer getting scared because history is about to repeat itself and he'll be left all alone nick + niko how you you do this to us all ;-; /lh

this question punch me in my gut and forced me to kneel, for i have to face my sin and see the truth (aka THIS MADE ME CRY FROM THINKING SOB //POS)

the moment he realized the inevitable, he tried to ignore it to the best of his ability, he tried to treat each day like normal, his hang outs with niko all the same and their dynamic never changed. at some point, wanderer thought, hah, why was he even worried in the first place ? he had went through it before, he's ready for it to hit...

but it's really is not that easy, the more days passed and the more he realized just how... visible the changes are, the dread settled down on his stomach, he's suddenly acutely aware of how many wrinkles are now on niko's hands-- they were visible on his eyes before but he, part denial maybe, also brushed it aside as him never getting enough sleep. but it's obvious... some people only believe what they can see, and right now for wanderer, all he can see is the actualization of how fast time had passed.

no matter how much he tried to delay the inevitable, telling niko to exercise more, eat more healthily, stop overworking himself, ect... at some point, people had even mistaken him as niko's grandson, something he had accidentally let his emotions taken over and yelled at them for... he knows he has no power to stop the progress.

the night that his fingers traced along one of the wrinkle lines on niko's hand, was when he started counting down the days.

the time niko passed away, he didn't cry, no tears, no reaction... just a blank face as he hold onto his hand. at this point, he thought he had did it, he was able to get over the loss of someone dearly closed to him with no problem, he thought he had finally managed to mastered his own emotions.

until he came back to their shared home, mekal behind the door, waiting for him to be alone so he can played niko's final audio messages to him.

when wanderer hear it, he couldn't help but laugh, the audio was full of mess ups, niko tripping and falling over, his words caught in his tongue and a small 'had to do this from the beginning... again' followed by a frustrated sigh and the whole message being read from the start again.

wanderer huffed, complaining about how the second time was barely audible without realizing the world around him had became deafening from how much tears that was falling from his eyes, how blurring everything had become even though the sun was still shining outside.

because the sun he was used to, the sun that he so desperately tried to deny he had loved the warmth of, had settled.

and he had to deal with the coldness of the night.

alone.

once again.

[lynxgriffin]

If that last page is anything to go by, it seems to me like “he” can stretch out his black hand from the boarders between moments just as easily as from the pit that bound god spoke of.

“His” black hands reaching for the mind is also an interesting juxtaposition against Ralsei reaching out with his white hands from the pitch black to touch Kris’s Soul at the end of the previous part.

Too bad this bound god didn’t care enough about the difference between helping someone unwind (relax) and helping someone unwind (physically/mentally unravel). Kris is really in the thick of it and could use a few moments of light hearted fun.

Not sure if Kris could do anything about it if they catch on, but Ralsei’s deflection feels like it might strike a chord with how some of their light world elders may have treated them before.

You really have a compelling way with words and composition! I loved this Jevil 2-parter!

Yes, to Jevil, there's really not much difference between relaxing and physically coming apart! That all sounds like a good time to him! Kris could definitely use a break, although since at this point in time the battle against King is coming up next, they unfortunately don't get much of one right now.

And yeah, Kris may not be in the best state of mind to sus that out right now, but Ralsei is a bit like the light world elders here in how he tries to calm Kris down without much addressing the issue at hand!

And thank you so much, glad that you enjoyed it!

[abyss-strikas]

ahem, you should do raino or tiger head canons, can’t get over my faves👨🏽

You're definitely right, I should! I will say, when I was writing these headcanons, I kind of went a bit overboard so I'm doing five headcanons for Twisting Tiger and Riano. I did also add a couple of headcanons at the end that includes my fan team, the Silver Lions FC, since it did come to mind when writing these out. I'll put those under a Read More though, just so this doesn't get as long as it is now. @h3art-v1n

Twisting Tiger

The grandmother that he mentions in Rookie Season is not his biological grandmother. I’m still a believer of him, Inyo and Miko growing up in an orphanage together, as shown in the comics, and I headcanon that he did eventually get adopted, but by an older woman who he considers his grandmother. She’s a fitness trainer, hence the abs thing

His favorite colour is green, associating it with nature and growth. He had to learn a lot after being adopted by his grandmother, and he was drawn to the color green because of the bandana she would always wear. She made him his own bandana before he left Japan to join Supa Strikas, and he keeps it in his closet for safe keeping.

Tiger has a sweet tooth. Aside from chocolate croissants being one of his favorites to eat, he also likes strawberry shortcake, mochi, strawberry and cherry dangos, and daifuku.

Tiger has always wanted to try and foster cats or dogs, but never really had a chance to because of his job. He was encouraged by his teammates to go for it, and he ended up fostering a nine-year old cat he named Yuki. Tiger was drawn to her because of how she was surrendered to the shelter, but no one wanted to take her in. Just like how it was for Tiger until he was adopted at the age of sixteen by his grandmother. So, he hopes he can give Yuki a better life than being in the shelter, just like what happened to him.

Tiger is the king of dance, at least on his dance pads. You might see him in the mall arcade playing the those kinds of games, with kids playing alongside him. He holds the record on almost all the songs on at least two dance machines.

Riano

The man is very humble, to the point that he’s got no secrets to hide. If he’s got secrets, they’re pretty tame and only the kind that would make him look “lame” to a majority of his fans. Like, his love for a children’s book series he grew up with, which is still going on to this day. A lot of fans like seeing him as the really cool, hot, and very charming football player he is, but there are times when he would like to nerd out about some of his interests.

Whenever Barka and Supa Strikas meet up, Riano and El Matador are always chatting away in Spanish, whether it be about some random topic or gossip within the Super League. Riano would never spread a rumor about someone, and usually scolds those who do, especially if said rumors are aimed to hurt the person they are targeting. He only participates in the gossip to see what’s going on with his fellow League players.

He used to dye his hair different colours when he was a teen, but settled on the purple when he first joined Barka. He had meant to remove it, but it became a part of his image when he played beautifully in his first few games, he decided to keep the streaks.

Riano keeps in touch with his family, and they’re a very large family. He always gets them gifts from the places he and his team go to, plays with his little cousins, nieces and nephews, and always engages in conversation with the parents, aunts, uncles, and his grandparents. However, when everything gets too much, he just heads to his older sister’s place, which is pretty much away from the hustle and bustle of the city, and crashes there for a night or two. She doesn’t mind, as she is an introvert compared to Riano, but appreciates it that her brother does come to visit from time to time.

Every two weeks, Riano treats his team to a Sunday brunch at a restaurant that he usually frequents, and the owner knows him very well. They get a discount on the bill if they win two games before the brunch, a small deal Riano made with the owner after the owner joked that his team couldn’t win back to back games during a drought they had. So far, the owner hasn’t gone back on the deal and has even made small compromises when they’ve won one game but lost the second one.

Bonus headcanons – Silver Lions FC Edition

 It may come as a surprise, but Riano did doubt the Silver Lions when the club rejoined the Super League. For Riano, his doubt stemmed from how everyone was hyping up the team, despite the fact that most of the players on the team never had any football experience, except the returning veterans. He thought they would treat the game like a joke and not take it seriously, but then he saw how they played their second game against them with precision and how they were able to adapt to their different move sets.

He also had doubts about the team for how they would respond in interviews, seeing their answers as maybe too much for the fans. But he was shocked to learn that a majority of the Super League fans actually liked the brutal honesty that came from the Silver Lions; a breath of fresh air is what many fans had said about them.

Riano would later apologize to both Oliver and Trent on how he first viewed them and their team, and they apologized in return for rushing to assume that Riano was like the other players they’ve met. Always judging them while hiding it under his charming looks and personality. Seeing as all three captains all had the same idea of what they thought the other team was like, Riano invited them and their team for brunch, to show no hard feelings between each team. In return, the Silver Lions invited Barka to the restaurant/pub they go to celebrate special events, including brunch.

From time to time, Riano will spend time with the captains, but he also has formed a friendship with their reserve defender, Flint Martinez, and his boyfriend who is one of the main defenders, Hale Pagaduan. Riano took interest in Flint after watching him perform with his underground band, and found that he and Hale could relate to each other about having big families and having such high expectations put on them by their families. When the three are together, they're usually seen running in the park with some other Barka FC players and talking about anything that has been happening in the world or within the Super League.

Twisting Tiger wasn't sure if he would even get along with any of the Silver Lions players, but suddenly found himself being followed by one of the smaller players of the team, Mica Bailey. He's one of the main strikers of the team and is cousins to Sean Bailey, one of the main midfielders of the team. Tiger is unsure why Mica has taken a liking to him, but he is able to have Sean interpret whatever Mica wants to tell him, as Mica is mute and communicates in both ASL and BSL.

Oddly enough, Tiger has a rivalry with both Bailey cousins but in different ways. With Mica, he sometimes has a hard time getting the ball to one of his strikers, as the Silver Lions player is quick to intercept and take it back up the field towards the Supa Strikas' goal. With Sean, anytime that Tiger does his Twisting Tornado, Sean is able to take the ball away from Tiger and initiate his own move his team have dubbed as The Irish Storm. The move consists of Sean running around the Supa Strikas midfielders in an infinity loop, moving so fast that it's hard to keep track of him. But the reason he does this is to allow one of the Silver Lions players to blend in while he runs, and take advantage of when Sean passes the ball to them. While he is not always successful in taking the ball from Tiger, he usually marks him when they're on the field.

Despite this, Tiger finds he enjoys the company of the Bailey cousins a lot, especially with watching Sean getting angry about something, and Mica signing things to get his cousin even more angry. Tiger has been teaching himself how to sign ASL to better communicate with Mica, and has been able to find a common ground between him and Sean in the form of model cars. Sean used to be a race car driver, but left the sport to focus on being a mechanic for his own workshop, collecting the little model cars when he can.

Tiger has also found some common ground with the main goalie of the Silver Lions, Fritz Germane, with the two of them being orphans when they were both younger, but having found a family later on. He sometimes goes to the much older goalie to hear how he was adopted and what his life was like with them.

[marzipanilla]

Sometimes you just have to be a lil shit about a piece of media you enjoy in a loving way lol dumpster fire (affectionate)

Been watching OSP stuff again 'cause I was talking about one of their Superman vids and how they mention Invincible in it, and just that some of the ideas of the Superman concept really should come back around for the Mark narrative but they are def going farther and farther as things progress from what could have been an interesting Superman-esque origin in Mark. And like, do your thing, but it was clearly a reference at the start, so... why NOT lean more into it?

I know I've seen chunks of BTAS and Batman Beyond, but it's all so blurry in my brain from so long ago. I remember enjoying the shit out of them! It's why I'm having a treat with Justice Leauge rn. Bc it's like, have I see this before? maybe? at some point? Like I have the vaguest recollection of the opening credits. Zero memory of Martian Manhunter (J'onn J'onnz ?? the fuck ?? lol) having so many abilities. like damn bro. you cool asf! The very simple visual worldbuilding of all Martians being nakey bc THEY'RE SHAPESHIFTERS WHY WOULDN'T THEY BE loved it

Lazy shipping. And like.. just horny shipping. Like okay, I can be down for a UST narrative, but if you want me to buy these people have more than a case of the Horny for each other, they need to be able to describe something about each other they actually like. (I also have a whole ass rant about the Gift Of Jewelry in media -eyetwtich-) And Mark and Eve are constantly in interesting situations actually dealing with ethical shit and they could have spent so much time talking about Chicago and what cleaning up there would have meant to them, and how they operate as heroes sort of outside the establish groups for whatever reason, and they could have very naturally gravitated to each other! It really is a HS crush in this iteration !! bc the moment Mark looked at her he was just like ! oh ! hero is cute girl ! and then.. had a very intense relationship with someone else and then immediately turned around and was presented with this one. It has technically been months in the time span of the narrative, but the fact it was all shoved in and carried off RIGHT ON THE BACK of his very intense break up with Amber just feels awful. Let the boy breathe jfc.

So many people are talking about Mark supposedly improving but still not improving and it HURTS bc yeah. The narrative is really just like ACTUALLY- and it's so frustrating bc, your character can improve and the situation can still be deadly! Doc Seismic doesn't need some stupid line about things changing! They DIDN'T he's still an old man with bracelets. They just STAYED FLOATING IN THE AIR and waited for his back up to arrive and then pointlessly got into fist fights with the monsters instead of immediately going to rescue the other heroes. I can get Mark sort of zeroing in on the fighting bc he doesn't really work with other people that much, but Eve ??? why the hell isn't saving the others your priority?? The fight could still have played out badly without them needing to be stupid! Mark having to protect Eve while she works ! Them having to be on the back foot so that the people in the sack things don't get squished while they work ! You don't have to be dumb to fail. And so far it really feels like everyone is acting SO STUPID and they HAVE To fail bc it's so hard when it's like ?? the same ppl you've been fighting ?? since day one ?? Is Killcannon gunna show up and shoot you through a building now ?? I'm sorry??

We really need a Debbie/Nolan flashback that's about their dynamic and NOT their dynamic as parents. Like what was your vibe as a couple!! Love that you're horny for each other, but why did you fall in love??? Of course I am also just like CAN I PLEASE GET ONE DEBBIE FACT THAT ISN'T ABOUT THE MEN IN HER LIFE. Also, pretty sure anytime she has been around Paul the convo is in some way, actually still about Nolan and it's WILD bc damn is it really moving on if he's present in Every conversation??

Invincible (derogatory) Invincible (affectionate) depends on the time of day.

Like there's no way Cecil ISN'T using it to his benefit! But him actually caring somewhat, even knowing he would STILL betray and sacrifice the kid in a heartbeat. just. yeah. Mentor Cecil/quasi father Cecil. might happen.

The several convos we've had about trusting Cecil are SO WEIRD bc literally anytime Debbie has talked to him she has been like I DO NOT TRUST YOU and then five seconds later she's all That Bitch Lied : / and it's like ??? yes ?? you said he would ?? five seconds ago ??? why are you surprised ???

FR you don't get history classes about colonialism and police states but WE WILL make you watch teletubbies and learn about the magic of friendship! Killing is BAD kids ! Don't do it ! (unless the GDA tells you to)

While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom

OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.

I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.

I love thinking about these, omg.

[secriden]

*cracks knuckles* Okay lets talk about the elephant in the room: Style going to the support group for those who've suffered loss and telling what appears to be a fake story about losing his pet dog.

I'm going to point out a few things that I think provide a framework for Style's actions here. Not because I think it excuses what he did, but because I think a nuanced read is what the character deserves.

Point 1: An irresistible opportunity

The subs put the "Support Group for Loss" on the image in the notebook, but I'm not sure there's anything to suggest that Style would've known that was what this image represents until he showed up and saw the sign on top of the door.

In episode 2, Bison says, "He plans everything down from years, months, weeks to days" and then tells Kant:

So Style is literally just going to addresses/locations at given days and times, potentially not knowing what to expect. And as much as Fadel is certainly attending this meeting as a response to having that heartbreaking flashback (😭), this is also something he attends regularly and has planned to attend way in advance. So Style has no reason to think Fadel is attending this meeting because of a recent resurfacing of his pain.

What we, the audience, and what the characters know are very different things.

Now, should Style have turned his cute ass right around once he realised what this meeting was? Of course he should. But that wouldn't have been true to Style's character. We've been told by his best friend that he is "crazy" and been shown repeatedly that he lives right up to that description.

Style is impulsive. He's all base instinct and he acts on his desires without thought or contemplation. And by this point he is desperate for a deeper connection with Fadel. He's fascinated, captivated by the mystery that is Fadel and this is an excellent opportunity to finally see behind the wall Fadel so carefully maintains.

When Style sees the sign above the door, Style looks at the notebook (which, again, shows nothing but people sitting in a circle with the words RISE UP) like he's just realising what it means. He then gets this amused, almost rueful look on his face (like he's thinking "am I really going to do this?") before it shifts to determination and he walks through the door.

(My soul for the ability to once again gif something because FUCK Dunk is doing SO MUCH in this show!!)

To Style, this is just too good of an opportunity to give up.

Because let's be real, Fadel is so clearly lying and hiding something:

Fadel is shady as FUCK. He is simultaneously actually a really good cook (Style finally tries his burger so he knows, now), and also has the skills to work at a strip host club, and also can take on 3 guys in a fight, and also can break a man's arm with his thighs. Can you honestly blame Style for losing his mind just a little bit about wanting to get his hands on something, anything, to figure this man out?

Style is being absolutely consistent in his persistence to understand Fadel. This isn't about the car or about finally 'winning' the fight (thank you @airenyah for giving such a detailed framework to understand what Style's been doing until this point) anymore. This is about Style wanting to know Fadel himself.

Point 2: The potential implications of the setting

Now, what might give us a bit of insight as to why Style is this way? I have a theory (albeit one that could prove to be very wrong, but hear me out). I think this whole entire show is set in what could potentially be quite a small town/suburb.

There's a few things that make this theory plausible:

(1) Fadel and Bison are in hiding after Bison blew their previous cover. They're probably on the run from some section of the authorities and so it makes sense to settle in a quiet/out of the way place.

(2) Style seems to be really familiar with the people in the area. Like he grew up there and its the kind of small town where everyone knows everyone and everyone is in everyone else's business.

(3) Style is clearly the darling of the market aunties and uncles.

Style just lost her a sale and potentially a loyal customer, and she's still rooting for him? In episode 2, when Style asks the uncle to let him borrow his cart, it takes nothing but his word for the uncle to give Style his entire cart of produce for his ridiculous scheme.

Style is so clearly someone they all know well and have great affection for, and a very plausible explanation for this is that they all watched him grow up and the entire market (town/village) is fond of him.

And honestly?? Yeah, we see the way Style is actually quite sweet in that careless, guileless, thoughtless way. He goes the extra mile to fix his mistake with Fadel by replacing his car parts for free in episode 1. He helps out by taking orders in episode 2 without being asked and takes it seriously. In episode 3, he tries to drive more business to Fadel's store (bless him, he so clearly does NOT understand how restaurants work, but he MEANS well!!), and can we all acknowledge that it works?? He understands how to appeal to potential customers in the area because he knows the people there. It's not (entirely) his fault that Fadel wasn't remotely prepared for an actual rush crowd and Bison was off getting kinky with Kant and not doing his (fake) job. He is so clear about not judging Fadel's host job and tries his hardest to help him (to absolutely NO effect, but still) when the 3 guys gang up on Fadel.

Style is so loved and more importantly so very loveable.

Point 3: What this could mean for Style's character

So, potentially, Style is someone who grew up in a small town, who has been well loved, potentially spoiled and coddled, but also very much kept within the confines of the narrow viewpoint that a quiet, country town places on you.

It's in the way his dad scolds him as if he was still a child when he's at least in his mid to late 20s. It's in the way Style was so mad at Fadel for scolding him ("thanks for the lecture, dad"), like that hit a sore point for Style. It's in the way no one in the market takes him seriously; they're fond, but he's still a kid in their eyes. It's in the way he has an abundance of free time like he doesn't REALLY need to work at his dad's shop. It's in the way he sees Fadel beat 3 guys up with ease, starts wondering if Fadel is an assassin or a hitman, and is completely unfazed like he doesn't quite have a handle on reality.

It's in the way his best friend is a man who has no qualms about lying to him and putting his life in danger, and how Style seems to have no other friends or people (aside from his dad) in his life.

@wuxian-vs-wangji made a comment to me about Style being desperate for a meaningful connection, and I think she hit the nail on the head. Because along comes Fadel, a mysterious stranger with a suspiciously versatile set of skills who is also very hot and keeps giving Style these wonderfully complex reactions? Who sometimes wants nothing to do with Style, but at other times seems to be at war within himself about desperately wanting him? Who treats Style with anything but apathy?

This is catnip to Style; he never had any hope of resisting this.

Breaking news: Style is a complex and imperfect character...

Here's the thing, though: he was never going to try. The show has been incredibly upfront about who Style is as a person. Regardless of whether I'm correct about why he is this way (ie. that he is very much the product of the environment that didn't know how to handle a kid with Style's personality), episode 3 shouldn't have surprised anyone about Style. He's been incredibly consistent and true to himself.

He wants Fadel and he's "crazy" enough to go all in, no holds barred about it, and the Support Group was the biggest doorway to finally discovering something REAL about Fadel.

And its not just about sex or to prove his superiority anymore. Because if it was just that, then Style would have reacted very differently to their first time.

In this scene, Style is pleased and evidently enjoying himself, but he isn't exuberant. He isn't overcome with joy. If anything, he was more happy and excited when Fadel let him help out in the diner (I mentioned this in the tags in this post too) than he was when Fadel is literally fucking him. He lets Fadel set the pace; barely moves to touch Fadel except to hold him close. Almost like he doesn't want to accidentally mess this up, like he's worried he'll take too much, so he'll take what Fadel gives him and no more (please appreciate @braceletofteeth's amazing tags on this post). For a character that has been so aggressively on the offensive, this is shocking until you realise that sleeping with Fadel - while it's a step in the right direction - isn't Style's end goal anymore.

And he makes that abundantly clear in this episode:

Does Style even fully realise the weight of this desire? I doubt it. But I do believe that Style is in earnest. He doesn't fully understand his own feelings, but he also doesn't really care to either. All he knows is that he wants Fadel, wants his attention and his passion and his focus and his heart.

...but Style is also kind of, sort of, perfect.

Because he's exactly, precisely, breathtakingly exactly what Fadel needs.

Because Fadel is hurt and broken and bleeding inside. Because Fadel is barely holding it all together for Bison's sake, but has already given up hope for any true happiness for himself. Because Fadel can't trust anyone or anything in his life, when he's been used and used and used by the family who should've loved and cared and protected him.

Because it's going to take nothing short of this kind of unwavering, unshakable, uncomplicated determination to give Fadel even a chance of healing and opening his heart to love again.

[themyscirah]

Complaining abt Suicide Squad yet again but the fact that they have Waller exposing the alien community to space racist attacks and talking abt how she got to her position through deceit and being a terrible person and stuff is just. Ahsfiwueh JUST SAY YOU DONT KNOW WALLER.

Anyways literally the 3rd mission of the Squad ever (and the first framed as smth Waller picked and not orders from above) was the Squad discrediting and stopping a rogue vigilante who was only arresting POC and funneling white people into white supremacy groups (of which he was the most prominent member) in SUICIDE SQUAD #4. and it's explicitly framed as this mission being personal for Waller that she's hiding from the government bc its illegal like. Guys. Please why are we having her incite (space bc comics) racist attacks now

Also the whole "Amanda got her position through deceit and being a terrible person" NO. she KEPT her position through being shitty and playing complicated political games!!! She wasn't always that way like there is a difference and it is IMPORTANT ppl PLEASEEEE. In Secret Origins #14 we learn Amanda's backstory and she used to be a normal, caring person! Like even after she entered into working in government and politics she wasn't automatically morally bankrupt like please people. She was originally given control of the Squad by Reagan (*sigh* 80s comics...) to distract and get rid of her because she was so successful at pushing progressive social policy in Congress. Acting like she's this static pillar of evil is such a waste of her character and so fucking uninteresting and disrespectful to her arc it drives me MAD.

Like I am NOT saying Waller is all sunshine and rainbows, she fucking SUCKS (said w love <3) but like there's a human being there. It's a progression, she has a character arc like please, DC, please!!! They've fucked up Waller so bad and made her so opaque and uninteresting she can't even be the protagonist of her own story for fucks sake!

Like I don't know how many times I have to scream it until DC hears me or remembers but WALLER IS THE MAIN CHARACTER OF SUICIDE SQUAD. ITS HER BOOK. yet right now she's a cutout to be used as the villain wherever the writers please. Even in her book we get none of her perspective really displayed, no exploration of her thoughts with any kind of understanding of the role she traditionally has played and was made to play in the story.

[fumifooms]

I’ve never really been into kabrin but the name of the game with them is angst anyways, right, and it clicked in an interesting way for me for a sec a while back while chatting with buddies…

The timeline where he likes her back but he pushes her away because he’s scared of hurting women, being unlovable and ruining people who decide to stay with him’s lives etc etc… The guilt yet the desire that make him act flip floppy and just push him further into "think about nothing else except your plans" mentality… But then the thing that made me 👀⁉️ is Kabru worrying he’s the child of a succubus/incubus in the context of them… He ISN’T but his anxiety that he might be, adds another layer to their angle and omg?

Like Kabru esp with Rin already has that condescending but caring "I can’t possibly give you what you want, because I know better than you do what you want and need (and I’m not that)", the "No, Rin, you don’t want to be involved with me, I won’t let you ruin your life by choosing to stay with me. I know what you really want and need more than you and I am pushing you away for your own good", but with the incubus insecurity slapped on top of it… It’s Kabru feeling even worse about Rin loving him and even more unfit to receive or reciprocate it. It’s Kabru feeling like there’S NO POSSIBLE WAY Rin’s love for him could be genuine, that she could love ~the real him~ or do so genuinely. Because he has his persona he puts on, first of all, and since he doesn’t let down his walls around Rin either imo he thinks he’s got her dancing to its tune, so first it’s like well ok she doesn’t love me she just knows this shell of me, she just latched onto me because we went through similar trauma at the same time and then she got attached to this persona of someone perfect who isn’t me- AND THEN THERE’S THE GUILT THERE’S THE DESPAIR BECAUSE AS AN INCUBUS HE THINKS ANY LOVE OR ATTENTION HE GETS IS INNATELY COERCED? Without mentioning how because he got chased out of his hometown because of his blue eyes, he knows how damning attention can be too, with how his mother was cast out because she stuck with him he knows how dangerous just someone choosing him as a priority can ruin them. Being in the spotlight is a curse and by being magnetic you can be a plague—

He holds back. Can never be too wanting. Too possessive, too intense. He has to be a gentleman—the furthest possible thing from a monster who ravishes. It has to all be calculated, so he stays in control. Feeling like a monster because even as he tries to keep her at a distance, he can't let her go. He is possessive, he does lead her on, even as he tries not to…

Rin’s love for him for years and years STILL can’t be true because it’s all just. Not real. Her love is coerced, it’s manipulated, it’s forced out of her by magic and cunning and I am the worst man alive for it, even if just caused subconsciously or unwillingly— and an even worse one for sort of wanting her love despite it all. He’s ruining her life having her follow him and help his cause like he ruined his mother’s. It’s not me, it’s the fake, it’s the surface, it’s the magic…. He feels unlovable so of course with his bestie he wants to protect who’s into him it’s like, no I can’t indulge her that because it’s fake love it’s manipulated it’s just magic or brain chemistry or infatuation, anything that discounts it because I can’t allow myself to think it’s real and true and genuine and for me and if it was then it’s scary in new ways.

And the thing is that NOOOO Rin DOES know him she’s tired of his fake ass! She nags him because she cares and part of her gets really frustrated because of how much he hides himself under layers of pretense!! She’s reaching in and he’s pulling away again and again further and further away! They’re childhood friends, the only meaningful one that we know of, maybe the only one they had, and yes they went through trauma that defined their relationship but what fuels Rin to follow Kabru is that she knows he ISN’T perfect, because she’s worried for him. And he wants her there too but he also wants to keep her distant from him, he just wanted to get her out of the elves’ grasp, wanted her safe and free too, and still he lets her orbit around him without ever letting her in almost at all and it’s all sooo frustrating and!! Kabru taking on this "your love for me isn’t genuine :/" spiel would make them have such delish convos and wake up calls and arguments and augh the hurt/comfort…………. Can a harsh self-critic who won’t trust others’ assesments of him and a harsh tough love-r make it work…

Kabrin is so so sad…. From what we see you could say Rin is Kabru’s best friend and to me that’s the saddest thing because that feels more qualified by an absence of more/better friendships rather than how great they get along. But yeah there’s familiarity, there’s "i don’t want to leave her behind/be left behind"….. Just…..

Just the lifelong fear like an itch at the back of your mind you try to push down, that you feel like a monster that can’t fit in and belong and something is wrong with you, but can never truly let go Kabru’s layered so many images onto himself to adjust to everyone else that even he wouldn't even know who's good for him, thinks there's no one he could belong with well I bet…

Honestly a timeline where he’s miserable about it but pushes Rin into the arms of someone else because he would never want to hurt her and he doesn’t think he can provide for her right etc would go hard. Not letting it show, all smiles and "good for you! 😊 I’m glad", but Rin knows him enough that she notices he’s not being fully genuine, in the way his back is tense when he walks away…. She’s watched him walk away a lot after all, she’s followed behind his back a lot, after all. She knows him, like how he knows her and it’s insulting when he thinks that isn’t twoway in this relationship.