#you can also check out those sources and more yourselves

[nelkey]

Alright, I really gotta address this. Google cannot do this, they just legally can't. When they provide cloud services to their users, they still have to respect privacy laws. So even if they wanted to use google cloud services for it, for your data to be used to train Bard (Google's AI) you'd need to opt in specifically for that use and give your consent for your data to be used for those purposes, which I have not done.

Moreover, I live in Europe, my data in Google Cloud services is protected by European laws, specifically the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation).

This is the full legal stuff of why google cannot do this at all, in case anyone wants to read through it

This is google's own statement about privacy regarding AI training, both inside and outside of Europe.

This is from the previous link:

"We have always maintained that you control your data and we process it according to the agreement(s) we have with you. Furthermore, we will not and cannot look at it without a legitimate need to support your use of the service -- and even then it is only with your permission. Here are some of the additional measures we take to ensure your privacy: (reference: GCP Terms).

In addition to these commitments, for AI/ML development, we don’t use data that you provide us to train our own models without your permission. And if you want to work together to develop a solution using any of our AI/ML products, by default our teams will work only with data that you have provided and that has identifying information removed. We work with your raw data only with your consent and where the model development process requires it. "

This sustains that no, they cannot use the data on google cloud, this includes any google workspace like docs, to train Bard without your consent.

Feel free to look up more info yourselves, especially if you think a company might be doing things illegally, but please, before panicking and pulling all your work out of any google workspaces, do some research of your own when things sound very illegal, the kind that would get any company in trouble.

(Also, this other thing isn't relevant to fics specifically, but another reason why google CANNOT use data from all its users stored in its cloud to train their AI is that other companies, and businesses and private entities in general also use these services often, so the AI would end up knowing private information and it would result in leaks from the AI not knowing that its not supposed to provide that info. Leaking other companies' info would be a fuck ton of legal trouble for them, so they won't risk it. This is one of the things that other AI services are getting in trouble for because through scraping different services, some companies info has already gotten leaked, so I doubt google will risk the same thing happening to them. They really don't need it badly enough to do that, there's a lot of info publicly in google that's not under anyone's personal google account that they can use without risking that much legal trouble).

Hey guys! Since ao3 is down and we're all craving fics, would anybody want to join a shared drive folder and upload their downloaded ao3 fics to it with folders divided by fandoms/ships/gen etc for anyone to read?

But please, anyone who uses it has to go give kudos and thank the writers in the comments after the attacks are over, we can get through this!

[teenagemutantninjatrauma]

Actually y'know, while I'm at this - didn't wanna make that anon's innocent ask all about this, but please ninja turtle fandom, do NOT take the 2003 tmnt Fandom.com wiki as gospel. Most of the information there is questionable at best and I am still not over hummerhouse, who's written like hundreds of tcest fics, being a moderator there. I suspect with how long they in particular have been around that there's just, a whole older generation where tcest was a lot more tolerated and seen as normal, and, you know, personally I'd like to find out about cool extra stuff about a show I like from people who don't ship siblings together. So, question the sources, check things for yourself.

Here's where else you can go look for stuff! (gonna write out the links in case Tumblr fucks up so you can just copy paste them for yourselves <3)

🐢 Peter Laird's blog! (https://peterlairdstmntblog.blogspot.com) Plus, specifically all the blog posts about 03! (https://peterlairdstmntblog.blogspot.com/search/label/TMNT%204Kids%20TV%20show)

🐢 The Technodrome Forums (http://forums.thetechnodrome.com) - an internet forum for discussion about all the iterations, but also stuff like roleplaying :D It might seem old-fashioned but at least you get to ask around for anything you might need.

🐢 @tmntkiseki here on tumblr! Collecting a metric fuckton of character sheets, vehicle sheets, concept art, gadget art, and background art. Bonus - everything very neatly organized in their pinned post!

🐢 Similarly we also have @tmntbackgrounds (I think that's just 03?), and @tmnt-background-screenshots (more than just 03, more than just backgrounds)!

Anyways this got a bit long and I realized that the older iterations' fandoms don't have many reliable sources of info (although I am forever frickin grateful for the character sheet and background blogs at least) so anybody is free to reblog this with resources or leave them on this post in comments or reblog this onto their own info-collecting blogs. Just uh, y'know, remember to cite your sources and don't be a stickler about randomass character information. As far as I can tell the newer iterations - '12 and Rise and MM - don't have this big of a problem with a lack of sources, but I'm not that active in those sides of the fandom, so feel free to add on with other iterations as well if you want to!

immediate edit: a strategy wiki page for the 03 game! (https://strategywiki.org/wiki/Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_(2003))

another edit: you can also, of course, find the whole 03 series on youtube!

yet another edit: thank you Human for a Kiddle link (https://kids.kiddle.co/Teenage_Mutant_Ninja_Turtles_(2003_TV_series)) about the 03 show, the descriptions are p brief but the website does get into all the other iterations as well so it's great for comparison!

[herotome]

Devlog #125

Hi-ho, Wudge here! Gosh! I missed last week's update.

Happy holidays from Herotome!!

I haven't drawn anything this year-- oh but hmm, I could do a quick edit, here -

Tadah! For anyone who hasn't already seen it, we got those 50 reblogs to make Warden shirtless! A pure version without the christmas lights went up yesterday, just scroll down my blog a bit or check out the #ro: warden hashtag.

I'm pleased with how much mileage I'm already getting from this picture, ha.

Anyway.

Seems like I'm gonna be focused on writing new scenes and drawing expressions for a while. They're some of the more tedious tasks for me, so I'll certainly be looking for every opportunity to do other things on the side - like coding.

Today I've decided that the LI sprites should have their eyebrows on a separate layer from the rest of their face, to offer me the greatest amount of variety in creating new expressions - and I've come up with a naming system for it, too!

I'm looking forward to implementing this. Eyebrow shapes have much, much less variety compared to mouth shapes, so I might even finish drawing every possible eyebrow for every LI sometime soon. I've already gotten a strong start with Warden and Mia's eyebrows.

Speaking of, I did turn in more expressions over on Ko-Fi!

Tadah!! Thank you again to everyone who has donated so far!

I'm realizing that in the set dedicated to Dia, Warden and Mia have the same mouth shape on the upper right side... A fascinating subconscious decision on my part.

Outside of art, I did write... once. Er, it went pretty okay. I'm usually the biggest hater of my first drafts.

I think my goal is gonna be to show off the abilities of all the characters as equally as I can; Warden and Jade have had their time to shine (during the job fair and flying MC home, respectively), and I think MC, Griffin, and Mia are gonna be queued up next.

I'll put the rest under a cut for potential spoilers and further rambling - as always, if you don't see the cut, make sure to check out my blog directly!

I have a good idea of what I wanna do with Griffin (it may or may not involve obliterating your rent debt, and I may or may not have written about that in the first-draft-I-don't-hate).

I've been thinking that this scene would involve a change of clothes btw, and did some fashion concepts for Griffin that I also don't hate;

I'm not super sure what I'm gonna do for Mia's eventual ~special show-off scene~, but I'm sure it will come to me.

For MC, I want to show off her relationship with the city, and showcase how qualified she is for the job in a low-key way. I recently discussed with a friend how Men in Black is a huge source of inspiration for me... Y'all know the scene where Will Smith has his interview and did things differently from all the other candidates?? I kinda wanna capture that vibe...!

And ah... I think that's about it, Herotome-wise.

Wudge-wise, honesty hour - I've had ssssome mild health concerns this year.

I don't want to go into detail; I want to say it's been like... nothing life threatening, thankfully, but a lot of small physical inconveniences that pile up and make it harder to concentrate.

I did rest a lot last week so no worries. <3 It's just that parts of my body have been weird and annoying, and I think it's helpful to acknowledge that the flesh prison can be a weird and annoying place. But I value it! And I'm doing my best to take care of it. Health comes first, etc, etc.

With this new year, I hope you guys take care of yourselves as best as you can, too. The person who's most qualified to take care of you is you!!!

Stay safe and keep warm,

Wudge.

[maochira]

HOW WAS THE BLUE LOCK MOVIE???????

OKAY SO. HERE'S MY FULL REVIEW ON THE MOVIE

I love the movie very much!!! I watched it twice, first with two friends and then with my dad. Both times we watched the German dubs btw!

Even though I enjoyed every second of it, I do have some criticism.

I wish they would have focused a little less on the matches and a little more on the stuff that happens inbetween. Especially the dynamic between Reo and Zantetsu was so much fun to read in the Episode Nagi manga. In the movie it was just Nagi telling Zantetsu so turn his brain off and do what Reo instructs. They left out such a huge chunk of the conflict between Reo and Zantetsu.

I think the match against Barou's team should have been longer. I loved that part in the manga and it is important to Nagi's awakening. It was too short in the movie.

I get why the match against Team Z was so long and I didn't mind. I enjoyed seeing more from Nagi's POV!

I think the movie should have ended right at the beginning of second selection. They rushed through all the matches and showed nothing of the important developments that happend when Reo's and Nagi's teams are up against each other. It felt so very rushed just to get to the U-20 match in the post-credit scene.

I mean, I get it. They most likely didn't plan a second movie and the manga wasn't that far when the movie was announced over a year ago. But still... I think ending with Nagi's monologue at the start of second selection would have been a better ending.

Also, I understand they went that far to create hype for the second season of the anime. All in all, I understand the decisions that were made but would have prefered a different approach.

Now some thoughts on the German dub!!

The dub of the first season was good but there was a lot of space of improvement. I watched it over 10 times so the voices and ways of the characters talking are engrained in my mind.

For the movie (and possibly season 2) they changed some voice actors. Most important: Nagi

When I saw the trailer and heard his new VA I wasn't impressed and rather disappointed. But now that I've seen the movie? AMAZING!!! Marcel Mann did a great job as Nagi! His previous VA Jerome Weinert was good as well, but his acting made Nagi sound rather annoyed than lazy/tired. I hope Marcel Mann continues voicing Nagi for season 2 because he fits Nagi so well!

Reo's and Zantetsu's VAs remained the same. Ben Küch and Maik Rogge were once again great as them! I love the translations in the dub, especially Reo and Nagi sounded like regular teenagers talking. Stuff like "fuck" and "shit" and just random cursewords during matches, Nagi even said "sheesh" at some point LMFAO. A lot of parts of the dub were also translated better than season 1, for example Raichi actually said "sexy football" rather than "irresistible football" which was a confusing choice in season 1 (especially because they alternated between irresistible and sexy I think???)

Bachira was voiced by Julius Jellinek in the movie and at first I was sceptical because his previous VA Finn Posthumus has kind of grown on me, but Julius Jellinek still impressed me!! I think the voice isn't 100% fitting for Bachira, but the acting was amazing. My favourite part was when he said "My monster tells me no panic on the titanic!" that was hilarious

Barou is now voiced by Fabian Kluckert. Some of you might remember when I posted clips of season 1 German Barou that were.... uhm..... see for yourselves

There are no official sources to my knowledge, but my friend figured out who the German VA is. Sebastian Schneider has only had 2 voice acting roles so far, one of them being Barou (those are the only ones documented on Synchronkartei, at least). He's usually an actor for live-action stuff. Anyways, the switch to Fabian Kluckert was kinda... unimpressive. Forgettable. Fabian Kluckert is a great VA, you can check his other anime roles here. But going from Sebastian Schneider who had questionable acting, but sounded very funny and made German dub Barou sound a little less serious, casting Fabian Kluckert as Barou made him kind of bland in comparison. I hope they find another VA to do Barou for season 2. I wish German Barou to be able to convey a similar energy than his Japanese and English voice actors. So far we only got unserious and kinda bland Barou.

Gagamaru also had another VA and... meh. Christian Zeiger is way too high for Gagamaru. I really hope they get David Brizzi back for season 2 because he was a perfect German Gagamaru. Christian Zeiger is the German voice for Tom Holland and... yeah. Not the greatest casting on Gagamaru.

René Dawn-Claude as Nameoka??? AMAZING. Loved it. That was great. I hope René Dawn-Claude continues voicing in season 2, hopefully as Shidou! Shidou was previously voiced by Luca Kämmer, who didn't fit him too well. They put Luca Kämmer on Otoya in the movie's additional time which was great!! He definitely fits Otoya better than Shidou.

Carlos Fanselow as Karasu, Oliver Szerkus as Yukimiya and Linus Drews as Kurona were great too! They didn't talk much so I don't have a huge opinion on them, but I'd be fine with them continuing their roles in season 2. Linus Drews as Kurona was close to perfect by the way! I couldn't imagine what German VA he would have, but now that I heard Linus Drews on him, I love that.

If anyone wants to know more detailed thoughts on any German Blue Lock VAs or dub decisions, feel free to send me asks about it :]

[lotties-ashwagandha]

as someone with OCD if i see another one of those “im so OCD i clean my room once a week! here’s my best friend organizing my colored pencils being so quirky OCD!” or generalizing OCD as neat freak cleanliness im going to flip my shit and here’s why (under the cut)

yes OCD can manifest in obsessive compulsive cleaning behavior but OCD DOES NOT MEAN NEAT FREAK. OCD manifests in so many different ways, and everyone’s experience is different especially if you have co-occurring conditions like depression or anxiety or if you’re autistic or have ADHD. people think OCD is just cleaning and being neat and clean but they don’t understand the thought processes behind OCD so let me explain it to you. OCD is a condition where someone experiences unwanted obsessive thoughts, and in an effort to ease these thoughts engages in a compulsion. obsessive thoughts are often based in fear and trauma, and the compulsions try to ease the fear, but it’s often short term and doesn’t work for more than a few seconds.

here’s an example. green equals obsessive thought, red equals compulsion.

im scared that something will happen to my pet when im not near her/in the same room as her, so i’ll check on her twice every hour and will pet her five times each time i check on her

(this is actually close to one of my own compulsions btw)

as you can see this is an irrational response to a fear that is irrational if your pet is perfectly healthy and safe. many times OCD fears and compulsions are extremely irrational. it can even be something like “if i don’t tap my door handle three times after leaving this room my family will die in a fire”. it’s not fun, it’s scary, and we’re (usually) aware of how irrational our fears are but the fear is still very real and the compulsions are irresistible. symptoms of OCD also include checking. for me one of my obsessions and compulsions in relation to checking is i’ll get the thought of “what if i accidentally said something offensive/cussed/said something bad abt my teacher in my college paper” and even though i know I didn’t do any of that i’ll have to check my paper 3 times or more just to make sure I didn’t. another example of this is checking to make sure you turned the stove off like 5 times before you leave the house.

OCD can also lead to rumination and thought tunnels. this is prominent in all forms of OCD but is extremely prominent in relationship or friendship OCD. an example of rumination in OCD would be:

“what if my response to that text message sounded stupid?”

“if i sounded stupid what if they think im stupid”

“if they think im stupid they’ll leave me”

“if they leave me I won’t have anyone to talk to”

and so it goes on and on and on . and not just for a second or two, it can last for hours.

BUT i’d like to circle back and say that im not invalidating people with OCD in relation to cleaning. it DOES exist and it IS valid, and cleaning and organization in general can be a big big comfort and regulator for people with OCD. im talking to the people who think it’s quirky or fun or on purpose to have cleaning related OCD. compulsions aren’t cute, they aren’t quirky, they’re scary, and OCD is a disorder. it’s not fun. I grew up with a mother with very extreme OCD in relation to cleaning/sanitization and it has taken a huge toll on both of us. I watch her get upset and panicked and burned out because of her organization and sanitation OCD. and i watch myself get into the same cycles because of my OCD, even if our obsessions and compulsions are completely different. it’s not something enjoyable.

if you’d like to read more about OCD , or the related condition that is OCPD, here are some sources to do that. PLEASE educate yourselves on disorders before posting about them, especially tiktoks that are meant to be comedic. to that one girl on tiktok: it’s not funny that you moved all your OCD friend’s shit around her room and left her deodorant and toothpaste open in the bathroom! get a life!

anyway. some sources:

Cleveland Clinic’s Explanation of OCD

Friendship and Relationship OCD Explained by Mashable

Co-Occurrence OCD and Autism

[sophieinwonderland]

I try to keep this blog PG and would genuinely be more than happy to never discuss headmate sex here... but it's unfortunately necessary when it's a source of fakeclaiming.

WARNING: Obviously, this is going to delve into topic of inner world sex in a semi-explicit (but relatively dry and boring) way. It's already flagged, but I'll give a another warning for anyone who this makes uncomfortable and wants to turn away.

This is more for singlets who are reading this and think inner world sex is impossible or doesn't make sense.

I'd like to take a moment to demystify the topic a little bit.

The above system on r/systemscringe admits they don't have an inner world so it's not too surprising that they don't think it's possible.

The briefest and most relatable explanation of an inner world for those that don't know is that it's a simulated environment created by the brain. If you're a singlet, you might be able to imagine yourself standing in a room of your choosing right now, maybe a fictional room from your favorite TV shows. If so, congrats! You have an inner world now! That's really all there is to it. (But if you're a system struggling with making and immersing yourselves in inner worlds, check out these guides I've compiled from across the plural community.)

The biggest differences between a singlet's inner world and a system's is just that the system's has more occupants.

Each member of a system has imaginative control over the space, allowing each to "imagine themselves" in the same shared space. It's sort of the difference between playing a single-player game and a multiplayer game. We tend to call these forms mindforms.

(Note: Some system inner world experiences are more complicated than described. This is very much an oversimplification and I wouldn't be able to cover the vast variety of inner world experiences without veering way off course.)

Despite what the above r/systemscringe user claims, innerworld sex doesn't require physically touching the body... for much the same reason that singlets can also orgasm without touching the body...

I would highly recommend people check the above article out.

I feel one problem with many systems not talking about inner world sex is that it's become viewed as this strange and arcane experience, which has allowed those that do discuss it to become prime targets for fakeclaiming, but the reality is that inner world sex actually uses very basic cognitive mechanisms that can be utilized by both systems and singlets alike.

Aside from the multiplicity itself which allows multiple self-conscious agents to each have a mindform and interact with each other... What makes inner world sex possible is the same thing that makes it possible for people in the Vice article to trigger orgasms through thinking, fantasizing or erotic hypnosis.

So please, stop using systems having inner world sex as a justification for fakeclaiming systems!

Thank you for your time!

[pawfuu]

Hey it's https://www.tumblr.com/pawfuu/748309924575166464/this-is-a-genuine-question-to-the-anon-if-shi?source=share anon again :P

Just because shi made an apology doesn't mean people have to forgive hir or suddenly all of what shi did wasn't extremely discomforting to people. if you were/are friends of hirs and claimed to care for hir yet never ONCE tried to get forms of confirmation that shi was in fact that race or if you clearly saw signs shi was unstable and did nothing you are weird. Delusion or not, you all feed into it and likely helped hir get/encouraged hir to use closed names, from cultures where names are more than just something you go by. Yes it's weird to ask someone if they are "truly" that race but your saying you truly believed/trusted that shi just one day found out shi was all of those races (the ones shi is bodily not) and just rolled with it? No questions asked, no asking hir to double or even triple check with hir adopted parents for say hir parents lineage. I can only speak as a Hawai'ian but trust me if you are from our island you'll know family middle/last names as in you can look it up and see huh this has some history or you'll have some form of culture behind it.

My point is, I know those servers/hir friends hate feeding into people's delusions, yet you clearly did it and likely made it much worse. You are a part of what happened and saying oh I knew it isn't a haha in your face. You should be ashamed you didn't try and help your friend and let it get this far! Anyways I do hope shi gets the help shi needs and better fuckin friends cause clearly some of yall also need to take a look at yourselves. Even from the short time I was in mutual servers I could tell shi was unstable and needed help, help you likely didn't tell hir shi needed. There were many times you all should have encouraged hir to talk to an adult offline and not go to discord for comfort, yet you likely didn't say anything behind the scenes. Apologies for the rant but I watched this all unfold till right before you came out with proof (which I got before you publically came out) and it's clear so many things could have been avoided. I hope hir friends see this post and learn from it!

🐾🐾

[harrypotterfuryroad]

fjakdsfjkl they're checking children's genitals in Ohio & florida and y'all radfems totally sided with them to get it done, much like your calls for censorship silenced lesbian authors in the nineties (see the feminist sex wars/porn wars and/or struggles of the little sisters canadian bookshop).

wow, amazing. you STILL, even after fucking LINKING it, very obviously failed to read the whole thing. she absolutely described radical feminist ideology. and being well-read is something you guys pride yourselves on...that's pretty sad. i'm not even saying this is a premier source against your crock of shit ideology; i frequently cite many others. yet you failed--multiple times, now--to properly read the one single tumblr post i brought to your attention.

by far the most obnoxious conversation to have with you people is the "sex is binary" conversation. it's so eerily like talking to the scientologist freaks i grew up around, it's like a deja vu nightmare. biology is complex. also, it doesn't care. not "it doesn't care and that's why women are fucked by it!" no, it just doesn't fucking care. period. it's neutral. why in hell are you treating biological sex like it's spiritual...oh, that's right, because of your incessant and childish need to feel like a victim, which matters more than other people and certainly more than the truth. intersex people exist. you guys deny it alot, but they do. they're about as common as redheads. are redheads fucking fictitious, "harrypotterfuryroad"?

i am a cis woman, and i'm annoyed with what influence (feeble though it is, it's still important because you quite literally endanger lives) you've managed to have over the very important, real conversation about systemic misogyny. the irony is that you have made it harder to talk about. you have hindered progress. by oppressing women you have *omg you'll never guess, cue drumroll* fucking oppressed women.

as that post said, you don't own the definition of womanhood. society does. and it and i (hello, a cis woman born with your same genitals and born into the same oppression you've faced, not that it matters!) don't agree with you. get the fuck over yourself and grow up.

name one radfem that supported genital checks and follow that up by explaining why men belong in women's sports in the first place

and am i supposed to be shocked that anti-porn feminists were anti-porn regardless of who was producing it? are you shocked? did you think you had some kind of gotcha by saying that anti-porn arguments were coopted by homophobes? that horse is long past dead

she described it, sure, but she didn't define it. and a lot of those descriptive statements were total asspulls anyway. like, imagine you ask me what a square is, and i give you "it isn't a circle," "sometimes they're blue," and "they're related to trapezoids" as descriptive statements. all of these can be true, but they're not useful in gauging if i actually know what makes a square a square. so yeah i'm gonna go ahead and reject a pile of descriptive and spuriously ascriptive statements as a coherent definition, thanks. throwing out things like "TERFs think they're leftists" and "TERFs are inherently fascist" doesn't give any clear picture of what (again) a radfem is, especially with the implicit split between radfems and "TERFs"

and likewise i'll breeze right past your attention-grabbing link to scientology, i posted a few weeks ago about why that isn't productive without much more detail. i'm not treating biology like it's spiritual; i'm treating sex like it's binary. you're the one taking that spiritually by acting like i'm making some kind of individual moral judgment based on it. the redhead frequency thing is fucking stupid, because just like redheads still have hair, intersex people are still male or female (and they're also not there to be used as pawns by you)

also please tell me how it's been made harder to talk about systemic misogyny with specific examples because i'm curious about that

and finally the womanhood thing was the exact line that made it clear that the writer of that post had no idea what she was talking about. the boundaries that feminists have drawn around womanhood are really lenient and really broad. nothing about behavior or dress or class or race disqualifies you from "womanhood." there's no wrong way to be a woman except by being male, and there's no point in taking that personally

[cytser]

i'm annoyed so you get a rin vent on a platform that doesn't have my face directly attached

i've seen so many posts both on twitter and tumblr recently guilting people for not posting about current events, and acting as if you're morally/ethically at fault if you're not actively posting about it. and i'm sorry, but are you hearing yourselves?

obviously, what is happening is extremely disturbing. there aren't words to describe the level of horror, so i'm not going to try to find them. i should think this goes without saying, but i'm going to say it just so we're clear that my post isn't coming from the angle of 'but who cares about what's happening?'

but you have absolutely no idea how people are impacted by what's happening. you have no idea what personal connection people may have. you have no idea the impact it may be having on their mental states, and when you act so dismissive and act like 'this is negatively impacting my mental health' is a privileged take, you show what you really think about mental health.

there are so many reasons why people may not feel able to talk about it! people may not be able to understand what's happening. people may have grown up in warzones. people may have delusions, obsessions, flashbacks, suicidal ideation triggered that they do not have a healthy way of managing.

and from a practical standpoint, what is the point in expecting everyone to burn themselves out? when people are burnt out, they lack an ability to critically examine what they're reading. with the amount of propaganda and mis/disinformation, it is extremely important right now for people to be taking time and care to consider what they're reading. insisting that people shout while burnt out just means that mis/disinformation is going to rule. who does that help?

'you're privileged to not be under threat of death!!' well, for a start you don't know everyone's personal situations. but beyond that, you guys know it isn't morally wrong to use one's privilege, right?

when this all started, it triggered my ocd so badly that for days straight i was compulsively checking the news and making myself more and more afraid and distressed. every person who i told, including my literal actual therapist, suggested i stop. so i did! and now i take my news from trusted friends (and a few select other reliable sources) and am trying very hard not to fall into another ocd spiral because with other things going on in my life as well i'm genuinely unsure if i'd survive

i'm glad if you've never reached a level of mental distress where you're concerned for your ability to keep yourself safe, but this is the reality that a lot of people are dealing with, and those people are also the one's most likely to think they're morally failing if they refuse to share every post they see

if you do have the energy to keep posting things, then obviously i encourage you to. but i also encourage you to be critical about what you share, to make sure you understand the history, to understand that everyone is spreading propaganda, and to seriously consider the bias held by the people who's voices you're sharing.

first- and second-person accounts are typically you're best bet, along with people who's jobs revolve around this (activists, journalists, politicians but be fucking careful there), as you can generally assume they know the history - but still be careful, make yourself aware of red flags, read the replies if you're worried because odds are someone will be providing more context there. sharing propaganda is not helpful, it just makes it harder for you to understand what's happening and how to help

part of why this is so difficult to talk about is because the levels of performative activism and just straight-up horrific things i've been seeing on my social media is way more than i've seen during other conflicts. it is very dificult to engage with without a good knowledge, and most people who are engaging do not have a good knowledge

i've had to unfollow so many people over the past couple of weeks because they've clearly been so poisoned from propaganda. it seems a lot of people care more about looking like 'good activists' than they do about actually being good activists

[transient-winds]

🌬 wooshh~ 🎐🍃

Welcome to the soirée where we chat the night away about our beloved series~

Please, make yourselves comfortable here. there's plently of room for us to fill.

Just kidding with the formalities, I'm Eve (↑19) and you can refer to me with whatever pronouns (they/she/he/any) you'd like. (人 ´ ᴗ` )

(In fact, I may also be the manifestation of "erm, actually" meme ☝️🤓)

You may know me from my main blog @thebrookesnook . I've decided to transfer most of what I post regarding Wind Breaker here to keep things organized and less cluttered. This series has me in a chokehold similar to another series I'm fond of for similar reasons, and I thought why not make this my entire personality for a while (or more). This is mainly for my enjoyment and engagement to the fandom.

For clarification: I am not Japanese. I am just a Filipino fan, learning Nihongo, who enjoys spending their free time outside of college reading long ass academic papers and books on different topics regarding Japanese history, art and culture for fun & to info dump them on my unassuming friends. So feel free to correct mistakes I'm prone to make. ^^

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DISCLAIMERS

※ Don't take this blog too seriously; I'm not a professional academic researcher, but I take good care to make sure all of my posts with research will be written respectfully (especially pertaining to certain topics such as religion and culture) as well as citing my sources properly. Aside from that, this blog is merely an outlet for the silly ramblings of a broke college student with an obsession and a hope that any of the incoherent babbles can aid someone else's fanwork, share an interesting culture or be a place for good-faith discussions.

There will be reblogging and gushing about the characters and certain pairings I enjoy or like to see. This blog is a safe space for ALL ships (including x readers) in the fandom. I will not judge nor shame any ships or those who ship them. Respect goes both ways, enjoy what you enjoy. If you are uncomfortable with that, please feel free to leave anytime.

My ask box will be open sporadically (especially during chapter releases) due to my busy schedule and private messaging has been set to those I follow.

Thank you for checking out this blog, I hope we can get along and enjoy ourselves. ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

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[masqsims4]

Talk Lucero: Royal Health Crisis Confirmed? also/Identities of Third/Fourth Invasion Mother Plants!

"Come va, bambini, and welcome to another vidcast. We have some health news to cover today, so strap yourselves in!

"So, the first bit of news we want to cover today is the health summit previously commissioned by the late Empress Regent Yamaguchi Mai, regarding what is now known as the Royal Condition. For those who don't know, the Royal Condition is a theorized genetic disorder that causes hearing and vision problems mostly seen in royal families. And after several children this generation were born blind and deaf, an investigation and health summit was ordered by Yamaguchi. Doctors around the world finally provided their findings yesterday to the Council of Kings AND the Council of Queens at the World Alliance Hall. While the meeting itself was not televised, we have reliable sources for what was said at the meeting and what information was revealed.

"Basically, doctors and geneticists discovered that crossings of similar DNA was interfering with child development. Which means that two parents who are too closely related have a high chance of having a child with developmental defects. In layman's terms, it's the product of inbreeding, which has been happening more and more in royal families. Many royal couples are second cousins, and due to having so many children on all sides- (coughs, the royal seals of the New Sixam Empire and the Eighth Bastion show up on screen) -it can be easy to blame large families with no immediate ties to this practice. It's also been confirmed that while no royal family forbids marriage to commoners or those outside it, the public just doesn't want part in any of the drama. It also doesn't help that certain families don't trust outsiders anymore due to repeated assassination attempts.

"So, have we solved the mystery? Perhaps. Many alien citizens have reported having children with similar issues, but with DNA ancestral testing, we can determine if the cases come back to a common ancestor. All we can do is check our ancestry and get tested before trying for children. So basically, don't marry your cousin please?

"Speaking of genetic testing, Strangerville labs have confirmed an even stronger vaccine is available to the public later today, and urges everyone on Earth to get it. After the back to back Mother Plant invasions a year ago, Strangerville has stepped up it's efforts to countering any Infections that have sprung up. Those seen to be Infected have been contained in Strangerville, and the Paranormal Botanical Society has been hard at work determining the best course of action against another Mother Plant showing up. These findings are videos for another day, but the most urgent one the public needs to know about is the new rounds of vaccines against Infection. These new vaccines are more aggressive at fending off Infection, with test subjects reporting extreme flu-like responses when Infection is present in the body. Side effects included muscle weakness, loss of apatite, sleeplessness and hallucinations, and it's recommended checking into a hospital at the first sign of symptoms. The less drones the Mother Plant has walking around, the weaker it becomes, also the possibility of turning into a Mother Plant at any second is kinda terrifying. So please, do your part and get vaccinated! Infection ends with you!

"And now we segue into what everyone wanted to know, what Infected sucker became the third and fourth Mother Plants during the Invasions? So, we still aren't sure about the identity of the Infected in the Fourth Invasion, but based on the center of ground zero and how far out the roots have spread tells us that the perp had been living in Britechester for a while, possibly a professor or a family member of a professor, or faculty. We still can't say for certain, but investigations are still underway.

"HOWEVER, we do have confirmed reports from trusted sources about the identity of the THIRD Infected! That's right, the one in Sulani that a certain group got their panties in a twist over! WHY were they twisting panties over this, it's because the Infected was ONE OF THEIR OWN! Divine Laguna Norwood was identified by Strangerville geneticists as the Third Mother Plant. What do we know about Norwood? Well, Norwood was orphaned in Strangerville after the First Invasion, and was adopted by Sulani native Keoni McClure, long before we knew better. Norwood lived among others in the royal family with no mention of Infection at all. When her father married, she moved in with the new family, and when her father died, she moved back to Sulani and joined the Group That Mustn't Be Named. Shortly after, she transformed, which we all know kills the original body after. However, the Mother Plant withered and died as local forces were fighting it, and the Not Named Group had been keeping the body away from Strangerville Forces until the Coast Guard surrendered the body. While Strangerville hadn't brought the truth to the public, I JUST DID! Because we The People DESERVE TO KNOW!

"The Not Named Group have so many hit pieces on them, that it feels redundant to say anything more. Except "Don't Do Cults, Kids!" Use your head, think for yourself, and don't let anyone guilt you into becoming something you're not! But it also doesn't surprise me that the Not Named Group would even go so far as to cover up the identity of one of its members to protect it's reputation as the world gears up for yet another war against the Mother Plant! Like, who else among your peers is Infected? And with how hard the Not Named Group pushes to have children, and as many as possible, did Norwood have a child with one of the members? We need to know! I call for yet another investigation into the Not Named Group and see how far this line of rot goes!

"Before I end this video, I do have some personal news. Yes, I did welcome a bundle of joy into the world. PERFECTLY HEALTHY, THANK YOU! And I'm excited to be a dad. A lot of you have been asking for details, but I'm deciding not to give them. Not because I don't want you all to know... Actually, that's exactly why! I want my kid to grow up without the pressures of online fame, and just be a kid. If they want to be an online influencer too, like pop-pop, then so be it. Until then, no name, no milestones, not even a gender. Please leave my family be as the three of us navigate our own personal adventure. It's something I've been looking foreword to my whole life.

"But thanks again for watching, leave a like if you watch and hit that follow button and the bullhorn to get the latest uploads when they come. Until then, my name is Jared Lucero, that's the news for today, and I'll see you in the next vidcast. Grazie, arrivederci!"

[whcrror]

hello! despite claiming to be giving this 'no further attention' there was an update to Djaq's DNI linking to a reddit post. this was made 4 years ago by Talia or Eurus. I was going to keep the name out of it, but whatever at this point. there's no screenshots, or proof to these allegations made in the post: those of which are being pushed by someone who clearly twists narratives (Djaq): as displayed with the post below this one, and so on. I have some relevant screenshots to add to the narrative. so it's not so one sided. @whorrcr @thewhorrcrs

(interesting Djaq also accuses us of wanting to 'push our own narrative' - when i very much encourage people to look at djaq's own blog (thewhorrcrs), and freely post and speak on the url / posts made at length with proof. She has not posted a single thing from our blog, and in-fact has vowed to ignore everything else. this is within Djaq's right.)

'Not a Good Look' to post something that was supposed to be anonymous. Also not a good look to lie about easily fact checked things, such as the issue in the post underneath this one. this showing Djaq's ability to twist a narrative. Also, why update a DNI if you don't plan to follow more people? anyway..

Interesting this Talia is having a similar issue in the WOW (world of warcraft) community, dating back seven months or so. it shows that she's in situations like this quite often, perhaps - certainly more than the person in question (Nova). the url is : https://himbonoir.tumblr.com

I'm not sure if the two of these people are the best source of information regarding a situation involving accusations, as it seems like they are involved in drama consistently even now. below is one of the first moments that Talia began talking to Nova again, discussing how to move forward. discourse in mutual friends aside, the two seemed to be friends but there was some discomfort there. that's fine on all sides, seems like a healthy interaction to me. nova owns up to things and apologizes and gives Talia space to process.

The claim about the tickets: the reddit post left out a part. It's also come to my attention she changed her flight and saw another friend instead. 'that's not the way that works' is a fair statement about a non-refundable ticket. it is in fact the case.

i'm not saying believe one side or the other, however there was some additional info we had that we wanted to bring to light in light of the new addition, in order to give people a more rounded view of the story. however while you can draw your own conclusions, you cannot know for sure what someone's intentions were unless you wish to ask them about it yourselves to do your own research. on our side it seems like the history of narrative twisting and drama has been on the Talia/Djaq side of things.

Talia mentioned guilt tripping in the post, however. again, if we aren't involved we can't say what the intentions were. however it seemed short and sweet. here's a screenshot illustrating the picture a bit more clearly. Nova mentions that Talia's comfort comes first, and says that she can do what she needs to do for her own comfort. also that she wishes nothing but the best for Talia.

but again, draw your own conclusions! have a good day.

although please know we are dedicated to fact-checking, as with the post below.

[deltas-writing-corner]

School days extras: The Fushiguros

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x reader x Suguru Geto

Author note: So sorry it took so long to get these done! I'm also so sorry the word count is so short 🥺👉👈

Warnings: Nothing I can think of, but if there's anything that needs to be tagged appropriately please let me know!

New to the series? Click here

The three of you don’t really insert yourselves into Megumi and Tsumiki’s life beyond providing financial stability and overseeing Megumi’s mandatory sorcery training.

It’s not because you guys don’t care about them or anything. You do, but it would just feel wrong to forcefully insert yourself into their lives and dub yourselves their parental figures given the circumstances. Toji Fushiguro is a big source of trauma for Satoru and Suguru, so their initial distance is due to the fact that they still suffer from the aftermath of Riko Amanai and Misato Kuroi’s joint deaths as well as their near-death experiences by his hands.

Megumi is nearly the spitting image of Toji. Satoru and Suguru may poke fun at his spiky hair and stoic mannerism, but they think it better that Megumi is annoyed with them than to let themselves project their trauma onto a kid who has already been through his fair share of difficulties, at such a young age too. Those nightmares they thought were a thing of the past come back with a vengeance, but they’re forever grateful that you’re there to comfort and talk them through it as you’ve done before. Honestly, they’d be a mess without you.

In your case, your initial distance is out of a sense of failure. The only way you could secure financial aid and guarantee protection for both Megumi and Tsumiki from the Zen’in clan was to agree to train and raise the former into a shaman once his technique manifested, which already did when Satoru went to check him out for the first time. Even when he’s older and is more understanding of his circumstances, there’s always that little worm in the back of your mind that reinforces the sentiment that you didn’t do enough. Finding and taking advantage of those few loopholes within the system is what you do best, yet you couldn’t extend the same advantages for Megumi and Tsumiki as you have for many others before.

But there’s nothing you can do to change the terms set in stone, no matter how much you wish you could. You have to accept this reality quickly for both Megumi and Tsumiki’s sake. Neither you nor Satoru nor Suguru can ever truly replace their parents, even despite the fact that the two lacked proper parental figures when you three met them. What you can do with what you all are capable of giving is to be the best family/support system for them as humanly possible.

Tsumiki is much more open and receptive to your family’s involvement in her life. She’s quick to refer to you all by proper relative terms. Satoru and Suguru are the uncles and you are the aunt/third uncle. Tsumiki even calls Nanako and Mimiko her cousins! How sweet!

Megumi does as well, but he doesn’t open up and accept you three as easily as Tsumiki. Unlike his sister, he has no memory of his mother, and his father has been absent from his life since he was a toddler. What little he does remember about Toji is hard to piece together into one coherent and substantial memory. Because the people he needed most have bailed out of his life, Megumi fully expects you, Satoru, and Suguru to do the same in the future. He sometimes wished you guys would go away, if only to be spared yet another day of Satoru and Suguru’s incessant efforts to tease him. Megumi is a bit more tolerant of you than the other two. Again, he strongly believes that you’ll turn your back on him and leave him in the dust. He may appear to open up to you more than your idiot husbands, but he’s quick to retract and keep you at arms lengths as quickly as he is to cling and burrow his face against your leg whenever you come to check on him and accompany him during his moments of respite.

During the holidays, the three of you send Megumi and Tsumiki seasonal goodies they can munch on and enjoy together. As they get older and become accustomed to the new presences in their lives, they'll gradually start to travel out into the city to celebrate the holidays together with the family instead of by themselves. The house the three of you bought together is big enough to house them if they ever need to stay over for the night. Megumi is usually the one who needs to stay overnight, as the older he gets the more frequently Satoru or Suguru bring him with them on their assignments as a part of his training/studies.

Now, onto Megumi’s infamous middle school days. He often gets into verbal fights with his sister. These arguments usually left her emotionally exhausted and even in tears. Satoru and Suguru were rather confident in their ability to talk to the boy and figure out what's bothering him. Unsurprisingly they get the door slammed in their face and told to "piss off". Satoru just laughs whenever it happens. Suguru...he's not as thrilled about it and will threaten to break the door down with a disturbingly calm voice and smile. Does Megumu flinch at his attempts to intimidate him? Not at all.

But when it's you knocking on his door and demanding to see him? He's on his best behavior. Megumi knows well enough that, unlike Satoru and Suguru, you're not as patient or forgiving over his delinquency. One moment you're scolding him and tugging on his ear, the next you're aggressively making him and his sister dinner and other small household chores.

Megumi doesn't know what to think about you, but what you've made clear is that you aren't going to leave him behind. He can handle all of Satoru and Suguru's teasing and their annoying behavior because you'll always be there to punch them on the back of their heads and come to his defense without fail. You're right by his side whenever he needs you the most. Whether it be during a particularly challenging assignment, or on the day Tsumiki was cursed and fell into a coma. It will be one of few instances where he will witness Satoru and Suguru drop their more laid-back attitudes and show him sympathy. Nanako and Mimiko are nearly in tears seeing Tsumiki laying still in her hospital bed, barely breathing on her own when they were just planning to go on a fun and leisurely trip together that same morning. Megumi hates to admit it, but he's glad he's not the only one suffering from this turn of events. He's glad to call you all his new family.

[birdsong-18]

my current routine so that i’m not spoiled for the face reveal and only see it from the original source is as follows (had worked before for other big events):

make sure to exit out of all social media before turning off my phone for an extended period of time (if you don’t do this, DO NOT refresh the open app and immediately close it before doing anything else)

check instagram first (best original source, much less likely to be spoiled by someone else). if there’s a photo, yay! you did it! check a few other accounts to see if anyone else posted photos as well! go chat with you pals on chosen-social-media-of-choice

if there’s nothing on instagram, go to twitter next. there’s a higher chance of being spoiled, but at least cc’s are more active there. IMMEDIATELY go to the search bar and search their names instead of dash refreshing, because then you eliminate the chance of seeing random twitter user revealing it. also on twitter, there is usually a link to a youtube vid if there is one of those

next, if twitter is barren ON THE ACCOUNTS OF THE CC’S, move on to youtube. just do a quick refresh of the subscription page, and if nothing pops up move on (you can also check the community posts, but usually cc’s will post elsewhere first)

if there is nothing on youtube, do a quick check of tiktok through the same method of just searching the account instead of refreshing the homepage. this one is further down the list, because a tiktok will pop up on your for-you page right as you open the app, and that might spoil you, so be cautious if you really care

lastly i check tumblr tags. there’s no cc’s on here that are active here, so everything is secondhand information. this is where i usually check to see if there has been a dream secret twitter account update or a snapchat update, because i have neither of those and it’s better to find out from tumblr than twitter. also reddit posts i usually find here as well (and don’t worry i don’t think he will face reveal through reddit)

or just have notifications on for dream (i don’t because i hate having so many notifs on my homepage)

also make sure to take care of yourselves today. go for walks, drink some water, have a snack or a meal, do homework for those in school. if you have to put your phone down for 15 minutes to do something, just do it. i know this is exciting and all, but it’s okay to be a few minutes after a face reveal to live your own life. i get fomo as well, but no one will ridicule you for missing something, and you’ve got your life ahead of you to appreciate it :)

[joezworld]

So, a while back this got posted and I thought it would be cool to do a set of stories on the whole subject of 'family'.

Then work picked up and I only got through the first one and a half.

The half story got used in Day 27 of Traintober (it's the story Gordon retells to Richard Hatt), but this one never seemed like it could fit, so I decided to put it up after Traintober.

*checks watch*

It's certainly after Traintober now, isn't it?

Replacement

July, 1987

Once again, Tidmouth Sheds were in an uproar, but this time, it was a different sort of uproar.

"I'm telling you, he's a mongrel! A fraud! A waste of good metal!" Screeched a posh voice.

Vulgar statements followed this:

"How dare you, you cheese-shaped lump of-"

"-can you at least say this to my face?"

"-if ah were in steam ah would be turnin' ye into roast duck, you-"

"Forget yerself Douggie, can ye imagine what Bear wuld be sayin' if he wuz 'ere?"

"Quackers, I swear to all that is not holy, if you don't stop talking-"

"Is this what the pride of the LNER sounds like? An unmitigated -"

-

Perhaps an explanation is necessary.

The year prior, The National Railway Museum had restored Mallard - the fastest steam locomotive in the world - to operating condition. Gordon was very pleased by this, as it meant another member of his extended family was in steam.

Furthermore, Mallard's speed records were a source of personal pride for Gordon, as his design was the prototype for all the Gresley Pacifics, including Mallard. This meant that Gordon would happily spend hours telling anyone and everyone who would listen (or couldn't get away quickly enough!) about his family's various exploits, much to the annoyance of the other engines, who wished he'd give it a rest!

But Gordon would not give it a rest, and spent most of the next year going on and on about Mallard and Flying Scotsman. Things eventually grew so dire that the Fat Controller reached out to Mallard and Flying Scotsman's owners to see if the engines would like to come out to Sodor just so Gordon would stop.

Unfortunately, things had not gone as planned. While Flying Scotsman was just as charming and gregarious as he always was, Mallard... was not.

Within a few days of his arrival, engines up and down the Island had begun complaining of the A4's attitude, which ranged from snooty and aloof to cold and even downright hostile depending on whom he spoke to:

"You should have heard the things he said when he thought BoCo was gone!" Edward said crossly one morning at the junction. "I've never heard such remarks about diesels!"

"Did he say anything about you?" James growled. "He told me - to my face - that my class was a "insignificant footnote in history".

Percy looked over, expression dark, at where the express engine was sitting at the coaling tower next to Gordon and Scotsman. "He hasn't said anything to me yet, but I think he knows where his bearings are greased."

"What?" Edward was confused.

"Keep it to yourselves," Percy explained. "But I think those books about us are a bit more popular on the mainland than we think. He thinks he can get away with being a sore axle to you because you aren't famous."

"And you are?" James snapped back.

"No," Percy admitted. "But Thomas is, and every time I've seen that great Wedge is when Thomas, Gordon, or Flying Scotsman is nearby."

The three engines looked at each other.

"So not only is he a rude heap of scrap iron," James began. "But he's also a glory hound?"

"Seems so."

"What a berk."

-

This brings us back to Tidmouth Sheds. Henry had been away at the works for several days, and returned to the big station on an evening goods train from Crovan's Gate. Mallard, Gordon, Scotsman, and several other engines were already in the shed when Henry backed in.

Pleasantries were exchanged with the other engines, but when Henry tried to say hello to Mallard, trouble started.

"You aren't a Black Five, are you?" Mallard asked, suspicion colouring his voice.

"You have a very good eye!" Henry chortled, unaware of Mallard's personality. "I've been rebuilt quite thoroughly - Stanier was the most recent one, about 50 years ago now."

"Really? And what were you rebuilt from?" Mallard asked, even more suspicious than before.

Across the shed, Donald, Douglas, and Duck looked at each other with growing concern. Henry's origins were well known to the Island, as was Mallard's superiority complex - this conversation would not end well.

"-and well, at the end of the day, I think I was originally built out of a rejected first draft for Gordon!" Henry laughed a little. "Of course, that was a long time ago."

A lengthy silence followed that.

Gordon and Scotsman looked at each other. They'd never considered that Henry might share a common origin with them.

Douglas, Donald, and Duck looked concerned. They could see Mallard's expression turn increasingly thunderous.

"Gordon, my dear cousin." Mallard eventually said, his tone practically poisonous. "Did you know that we're in the company of a fraud?"

-

The noise did not stop. No matter what anyone did to quell the argument, it would quickly start up again as Gordon or Scotsman tried to make their increasingly-recalcitrant cousin apologize to Henry. Mallard's responses were so rude that they don't bear repeating here, and each time sparked off a new round of shouting.

They would likely have gone on until dawn broke over the horizon, and only did stop when Henry's crew arrived to light his fire for the Flying Kipper. They had heard the argument all the way from the station carpark, and decided that the only way to end this was by separating Mallard from everyone else.

-

"- you expect me to pull what?!" As an uncooperative Mallard was driven towards the docks, the rest of the engines looked at each other, wide-eyed and emotionally exhausted.

"I never want to speak to him again." Gordon said, his voice scratchy and raw from a night of shouting.

"Gordon," Henry began.

"I'm serious." Gordon rasped. "He has no right to speak to you that way. As far as I'm concerned, he is the fraud, not you."

This drew raised eyebrows across the shed. "How is he the fraud, Gordon?" Duck asked. "It's not like he isn't a Gresley."

"He might look like one," Gordon growled. "But he isn't. No true Gresley would ever speak to another engine like that. There is a code. Honor. Dignity. Respect. It's the Gresley - nay - the North Eastern way."

The other engines stared at him. They were all well aware of how Gordon had treated Henry during his first few years on the Island.

"Don't look at me like that!" He snapped. "I was young and I was stupid then. And I have apologized." He looked in the direction Mallard had gone. "He has no such excuse."

The other engines looked at each other. They were all very upset at Mallard's rudeness, but clearly he'd struck a nerve in Gordon.

They wanted to say something, but by that point, the firelighters had arrived to prepare everyone for their morning trains, and the clatter and noise made conversation impossible. When the sheds had finally quieted down, Donald and Scotsman - who did not have morning trains - had fallen so deeply asleep that they slept until noon.

-

Everyone else spent the rest of the day in an exhausted haze. Henry was falling asleep any time his wheels stopped turning, and Gordon's temper had become shorter and shorter as the day had gone on. Even Scotsman, who had managed some sleep, was still groggy to the point of slurring his words.

Mallard, who had also been up all night, was equally snappish, especially after his run with the Flying Kipper. His owners had agreed to let the Fat Controller run him in normal services as well as rail tours, thinking that it would be a nice change from being kept inside the National Railway Museum all the time. However, Mallard actually enjoyed the light duties of being a museum engine, and found real work to be unpleasant and tiring.

He had not been quiet about this either, and this meant that when Mallard arrived in Barrow with the Flying Kipper, Henry's crew was already fed up with him. They left him in Barrow yard and stalked into the yard master's office, and immediately asked for their engine to be assigned the heaviest, most difficult train available.

That train turned out to be a special load of unfitted stone wagons bound for the harbour at Arlesburgh. Mallard made heavy weather of the trip, and it took him almost five hours of slow and dusty running to reach Duck's branch line. His train was of particularly low priority, and he had been shunted into almost every siding on the line, something which rankled his express engine sensibilities enormously. His axles ached and he was so tired that he was almost seeing double.

Mallard tried to rest once he'd delivered the train to Arlesburgh, but Duck hadn't forgotten the things that had been said about Henry, and blew his whistle, wheeshed steam, and generally made a nuisance of himself to keep Mallard awake. When Duck left, Donald and Douglas arrived and picked up where he left off.

When the time finally came to return to Tidmouth, Mallard was in a state of outraged and overtired hysteria. He'd been awake for more than thirty hours at this point, had been yelled at by engines who were defending a fraud, and had been made to do real work! It was disgraceful! Despicable! Absolutely disgusting!

He continued fuming all the way to Tidmouth station, and was subjected to further indignities when he was left alone on the far goods platform.

At first, he thought that it would be possible to get some rest at long last, but that hope was dashed when a pair of green tenders backed down next to him.

“What on earth do you want, Cousin?”

“What is wrong with you.” Scotsman didn’t phrase it as a question. He glared at the A4 through exhausted eyes.

“You’ll have to be more specific.” Mallard said graciously. “My paintwork is a touch shabby, my valves are worn, and I feel as though I could do with some more grease and lubri-”

“You know what I mean.”

“Oh that?”

“Yes. That.”

“Well I’m not sure that there’s anything left to talk about my dear Scotsman - you certainly seemed content to say your piece all through the night, and into the morning as well!”

“They- I- You- You have been preened and fettled just a bit too much, alright? It’s gone to your smokebox, and not in a good way.”

“Oh please. You and I both know I’m correct. That abomination is nothing more than a waste of good metal. He should have been confined to the cutting room floor just like his drawings.”

I can’t believe I’m listening to this. You sound like Deltic - you know, the original Deltic? The prototype who had BR’s men so far down his intakes that they were able to turn him evil?”

“I can’t say I’m familiar.”

“He said that he was inevitable, and that he would surpass us in every way, and that we would all fall to his greatness. He was a supremacist git, Duckie, just like you are right now.”

“I’d kindly ask you not to lump me in with monsters such as that.”

“Then stop acting like him. Actually, I take that back - do start acting like him; I had the chance to meet him a few years ago at the Science Museum - he’s had a complete turnaround, spent an entire hour telling me how sorry he was for everything. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you apologize for something in my entire life.”

“Well I’ve never had to, and I doubt that I ever will have to.”

“Why don’t you start. Today.”

“Oh, be sensible! Why are you supporting the Mongrel anyways?”

“He’s -” Scotsman cut himself off. “All right, even if we ignored what you said about Henry - which we will not, by the way - Gordon is furious about this. I’ve never seen him so mad and neither have the other engines who live with him! You owe him an apology on top of everything else!”

“Feh! I don’t owe him anything! He’s scarcely better than the fraud!”

“I beg your pardon.”

“Oh don’t look at me like that! He’s a prototype! A first draft! A rough approximation of what was to come! Don’t tell me you haven’t looked at him! His running board has more in common with the Forgery than you or I, and they’ve even removed his center cylinder! His center cylinder! And his Gresley motion! The two things that make our line stand out above all the rest! He’s as much of a Gresley as that box on wheels they put on the Woodhead line! The only reason I afford him any respect at all is because he’s managed to ingratiate himself to that clergyman with a predilection for children’s books!”

“First of all, Tommy is just a much of a Gresley as we are-”

“Bah!”

“And second, where do you draw the line? Are there no true Gresleys other than you? Is it limited to just your class? Or does one have to be famous? Is Green Arrow a true Gresley according to you? Are Dwight or Dominion true Gresleys? Are the J50s? Am I?”

“Stop being melodramatic. Your undesirable shape aside, you are of course a Gresley, and so are -”

“Undesirable shape.”

“What? Oh yes, it’s very unfortunate, but true.”

“How so?”

“Well, it’s rather obvious if you think about it.”

“Enlighten me.”

“Just look at those of us who survived - they only preserved one or two of the rest of our family classes - just look at yourself, they only saved you because of your record - but they’ve preserved myself and five others! Clearly we are more desirable than the rest of you, and I have seen for myself how popular a streamlined body is.”

“You vainglorious little bas-”

“In fact, and I mean no offense, but if it had been Silver Link, Sir Ralph, or even a Thompson or a Peppercorn who hit the ton instead of you, they would be here and you wouldn’t. It’s that simple.”

Even through his exhaustion, everything Scotsman saw was beginning to get this strange red colouring. “You’ve crossed a line now, and you are going-”

“I’ve crossed a line?!” Mallard scoffed. “Scotsman, cousin, I am the line. The Line, against which Gresleys - no, all steam locomotives are measured against. I achieved something that no locomotive has done before or since, and I did so with loose valves, a failing cylinder, and a heavy-handed driver. You did something that Truro probably did before you were even drawn, except that you had the good sense to bring a dynamometer!”

Mallard paused. His smokebox was ringing like a damned bell, he was so tired, and he didn’t have any desire to be kind today. “And in case you start getting any ideas above your station about your fame or your glory and if that affords you some unearned amount of additional respect, old iron, let us remember that when BR decided to form the National Collection, They. Didn’t. Want. You.”

Scotsman was about to burst a boiler tube. He opened his mouth to say something equally hurtful when an aggrieved sounding “AHEM” could be heard from beside him.

There on the platform was the Fat Controller, who had heard everything, and was as angry as Scotman had ever seen a human being get.

“Oh, what is it now?” Mallard griped, showing that he had no sense in his smokebox at all.

-

Later

The Fat Controller spoke to the big engines that night. “Due to, err, extenuating circumstances, Mallard had to return to the mainland early.”

Exhausted cheers met this.

“Now, I understand that some of you might be disappointed by this,” The Fat Controller ignored them. “but not to worry. I have spoken to a gentleman whom I know very well, and I have arranged for another locomotive of Mallard’s type to arrive shortly. That way we will be able to accommodate all the people who have come out to see Gordon, Flying Scotsman, and Mallard all together.”

That engine turned out to be Union of South Africa - or Osprey, as she preferred to be called nowadays. She was Mallard’s polar opposite - bouncy and excitable, she relished the chance to have some “real work”, and made fast friends with the engines of Sodor before nightfall of her first day on the Island.

“Why couldn’t we have had her before?” BoCo asked the shed at large. “And do we have to give her back?”

Everyone laughed at this, and when Osprey herself backed into the shed a while later, she was met with genuine smiles.

“You all seem happy about something!” She chirped.

“We’re just glad that you aren’t rude like the last one was.” James said with surprisingly upbeat bluntness.

“Duckie...” She sighed. “What did he do now?”

Everyone told her, and when they finished, the happy mood in the shed had darkened significantly.

“So he thinks he’s in a class of his own, does he?” She said quietly. “He should know better than to say things like that.”

Even Scotsman looked at her quizzically at that.

“He’s… been doing this for some time.” She explained. “Being earmarked for preservation, not having to worry while we all did… it did things to him. We’ve all tried to make him stop - it gives the rest of us a bad name! - but with myself, Bittern, and Nigel on other sides of the country, there isn’t a lot we can do. And he clearly doesn’t respect anyone else’s opinions on the matter.” She looked at Scotsman significantly when she said this - Mallard hadn’t so much crossed the line as he’d driven over it at 127 miles per hour.

“Well we must do something.” BoCo, of all engines, spoke up from the other side of the shed. “Forgive me if I’m treading on any Gresley family ground here, but if one of my brothers had spoken like that, the rest of us would have paid him out from now ‘til the new millennium.”

Gordon, Osprey, and Scotsman looked at each other for a moment.

“I suppose we should…” Gordon began.

“He certainly deserves it.” Osprey said.

“But what could we do to him that isn’t wanton cruelty?” Scotsman pondered. “We are trying to be the bigger engines here, let’s remember.”

The engines paused for a moment to come up with ideas, but the quiet was soon broken as Henry was driven into the shed.

“You all look contemplative.” He said as he was spun around on the turntable.

“We’re just trying to - my word,” Osprey said as she took in Henry’s form. “You do look like one of us - no amount of Stanier meddling can change that.”

A pair of gasps rang out as Gordon and Scotsman had the same thought at the same time.

As everyone else looked at them, they both turned their attention to Henry.

“Henry…” Gordon said slowly. “Have I ever mentioned how-”

“I know what you’re thinking.” Henry said quickly, cutting him off. “And I will not be a party to it.”

“Oh come now, cousin.” Scotsman said slyly. “Tell me that you can’t see the appeal of this?”

“I’ve been in the same shed as your lineage for sixty years,” Henry said. “I will not be involv-”

“I see you haven’t given up on insulting children, have you?” Sir Nigel said as he was backed into the next road. Mallard was in the back of the shed, sulking; he’d been put back there several hours early after the parents at the heritage railroad’s open day had started complaining.

“They are sticky, and stupid, and young.” Mallard grimaced. “I don’t know how you put up with them.”

“I put up with them because I like them, and more importantly, they like me.” Sir Nigel said. “If they grow up not liking steam engines, then how will we survive when they’re adults? Boilers don’t grow on trees, you know - their ticket revenues will someday pay for them!”

A vulgar noise followed this, and the other A4 rolled his eyes. “Ah yes, Super-Engine is a piece of history; they’ll never rid themselves of you.”

“Did you come in here for a purpose, or am I to be stuck with you until the morning?”

“Yes to both, unfortunately enough.”

“Well, out with it - I want my beauty sleep.”

“I think you’d have to sleep for a month to manage any of that-”

“Why you-!”

“-but I do have some family news.”

“What is it? Be quick.”

“Did you know that they found another A1 prototype? I don’t know how this has only now come to light, but-”

“I said be quick.”

“ - but, new documents have come to light in Sodor. Apparently their 4-6-0 - I cannot for the life of me remember his name, but he’s the green one in the books - he’s one of us! Scotsman, Gordon, and Osprey all vouch for his pedigree, and when I saw Arrow, he was ecstatic at the prospect of expanding the family a little. Oh, and Morayshire is already champing at the bit to go out there and welcome him in person…”

Sir Nigel kept talking for some time, but Mallard didn’t hear him.

They adopted the fraud. Those savages.

[tiramisiyu]

Tears of Themis: Xia Yan/Luke 【昼夜余想】 Wishes Between Day and Night - Date Translation

Translation Masterlist | Xia Yan Masterlist | Unsubbed Video

Transcript below cut:

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Part 1

Empire

On the empty, desolate street, only the night wind whistled past my ears.

MC: …

I walked forward carefully. Plates full of food had been placed similarly in front of the tightly-shut doors of the residences.

MC: … I hope nothing goes wrong.

It was the Wag Festival tonight.  

According to the legends, the spirits who were venerated by their families would make their way towards the afterlife, while the spirits who had no one to remember them could only go around begging.

*Note: This festival did indeed exist in Ancient Egypt, and was dedicated to the death of Osiris.

Thus, kindly members of the populace would place offerings at their doorways, dedicated to the lonely dead. This was originally a holiday of commemoration, but things weren’t so peaceful recently… 

Several people had disappeared strangely during the night. People said that terrible curses brought by the dead were spreading all over the town…

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Discussion Hall

Not long ago, I had reported this issue to the pharaoh.

But as he sat upright in his high seat, he merely looked indifferently ahead, his mood hard to discern.

Pharaoh: A curse…

Pharaoh: As the respected oracle priestess of the dynasty, you only need to convey the will of the gods. Just observe for any other situational changes for now.

MC: But Pharaoh… more and more people keep disappearing these days, and the people are very panicked. The temple keeps receiving more prayers every day.

MC: If this really is the work of evil magic, the legends in the future will include a Wag Festival plagued by wandering spirits, and we’ll find ourselves with even more victims…

The pharaoh merely waved his hand at my suggestion that came from a spurt of courage.

Pharaoh: I have my own ways of dealing with this.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Though the pharaoh had said that he had ways to deal with this, I couldn’t just sit around and watch.

As the oracle priestess, listening to the prayers of the people, maintaining order, and protecting the empire were my duties, to begin with.

Thus, I decided to act secretly at night.

MC: (Based on the rumours… the ones who disappeared before last appeared at night, on the streets…)

MC: …

I grasped tight at the amulet in my hands. The golden scarab beetle shone with a cold luster under the bright moonlight.

Feeling reinvigorated, I walked deeper into the street. Right then…

Unknown Man: Aaahhh—

MC: !!!

After freezing momentarily, I immediately sprinted towards the source of the shrieks.

Unknown Man: Save me! Someone save…

Suddenly, the cries for help stopped.

In the small, dusky alley, just a few steps away, a man was lying motionlessly on the floor.

MC: Are you alright?!

I rushed over, preparing to check his body for injuries. However…

MC: !!!

A frigid aura emanated from behind me. I instinctively stopped moving.

MC: (Wait… I think someone else is here…)

I looked towards the shadows in the corner.

MC: !!!

???: …

The moment our gazes met, the person stopped hiding and walked out slowly.

In the dead silence, I held my breath.

???: Sometimes, being too sharp isn’t a good thing.

The owner of the voice held a dagger as he looked from a distance at me.

Half of his face had been covered by a black jackal mask, and the slender eye slits were full of a crimson colour.

As I faced this person who was dressed strikingly like an assassin, I couldn’t help feeling the slightest bit of apprehension and surprise.

MC: A person…

MC: (Wait…)

I thought back on those disappearance rumours from before, and suddenly came up with a bold guess after connecting them to the scene before my eyes…

MC: (Does this mean that he’s the one behind all the disappearances in the city…)

???: Piece of advice: you shouldn’t be zoning out at a time like this.

Without giving me a chance to think more, the person in front of me spoke again.

He glanced at the talisman in my hand. His voice was relaxed, as if this were a normal, everyday conversation.

???: … So you believe in the gods, huh.

???: Too bad, though – it doesn’t seem like the gods will be protecting you.

I hadn’t even reacted when I saw him close in on me rapidly.

???: …

Time seemed to stagnate.

At a close distance, he muttered ponderously to himself, and the dagger he was holding stopped a few centimetres away.

???: You’re…

He seemed to be staring at me through the slits of the mask.

I could smell a faint aroma, and despite the urgent situation, it left me unexpectedly mesmerized.

MC: (Is this some sort of perfume’s scent? I think it’s coming from him…)

After I calmed down, I lifted my head and met his gaze.

MC: … It sounds like you recognize me?

He paused for a moment, then spoke.

???: Based on your appearance… if I’m not mistaken, you must be the oracle priestess of Ayana Temple?

MC: I am…

???: If so, then it can’t be helped.

He retracted his dagger, seeming to have given up.

I let out a long sigh, relieved from being released from my dangerous situation. But when I saw him walk towards the corner where the collapsed man was, I grew agitated again.

>Stay and observe >Try to save the man

MC: (I shouldn’t do anything foolish if I haven’t confirmed that it’s safe.)

Bearing this thought in mind, I carefully tried to talk to him.

MC: What are you planning to do with him? Is he still… alive?

???: Worry about yourself before concerning yourself with others.

MC: … What do you mean?

???: You’re more likely to run into someone wicked than a dead spirit, wandering around town in the middle of the night.

???: On your return, make sure to watch your back.

 >Stay and observe >Try to save the man

MC: (Maybe he still can be saved…)

The moment he turned around, I silently picked up a wooden baton used for the vendors’ stands.

After making up my mind, I closed in and brought it down on his head-

MC: !!!

He hadn’t turned around, yet he was able to precisely grab the baton and yank it forward, ripping it out of my hands.

???: I think it’s best that you do not worry about saving others while your hands are full.

???: Otherwise, you might not even be able to return yourself.

 ✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

I couldn’t help shivering from his words.

MC: …

???: Why aren’t you talking?

???: You’ve probably already guessed, but…

???: I hope you’ll be able to keep your mouth shut when you get back, just like now.

I stared at him wordlessly without reacting. He paid no attention to that, instead glancing back at me meaningfully.

???: This is for your own good, too. After all, no one will listen to you, no matter who you tell.

MC: Why…

He hoisted up the man before I’d even finished speaking, walking into the depths of the alley. Even my doubts were taken into the soundless darkness.

After, I attempted holding an audience with the pharaoh again… But each time, he avoided me with various excuses. Even my submitted documentation received no response.

I also secretly ordered people to investigate the masked man, but due to us lacking in manpower, we never received any results.

At the same time, more and more people kept disappearing, and the people’s panic grew worse every day…

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Ayana Temple

Person A: When will the curse issue be solved?! Are you just going to watch as we all die off?!

Person B: Exactly! A neighbour of mine disappeared in the past few days… where’s the high priestess?! I want to see the high priestess!

On the day of prayer, it was even more chaotic than I had imagined on the temple courtyards.

The people who had come to pray had crowded together, such that the temple bodyguards had to block them to maintain some control over the riot.

MC: People of Ayana Empire…

Person A: It’s the high priestess!

As if they were grabbing onto their final chance of salvation, the jostling crowd all swarmed in around me after I entered the courtyard.

Right when the guards were on the verge of being broken through, a familiar voice suddenly came from above.

???: Chief Guard, how long are you planning to watch this go on?

   Part 2

Ayana Temple

???: Chief Guard, how long are you planning to watch this go on?

The originally panicky crowd stopped their steps forward for a moment.

Like them, I turned my gaze to the heights of the building behind us. Though the owner of the voice was hidden, there was no way I’d mistaken who it was.

MC: (The one from that night…)

He had just spoken when a troop of fully-armed soldiers burst into the temple courtyard.

Based on their clothing, they were the Pharaoh’s trusted Imperial Army.

Chief Guard: Silence!

After the commander handled the crowd control, the chief guard in front held up the documents in his hand and stood in the center.

Chief Guard: People of the Empire, fear not. I speak on the Pharaoh’s behalf with this oracle-

Chief Guard: “In seven days, I shall personally preside over a prayer ritual, where all curses will be broken.”

MC: (Breaking the curses…)

When the pharaoh said that he had ways to deal with this, was he talking about this prayer ritual?

But based on what I had seen that night, the man who’d disappeared had been attacked and taken away, and the curses didn’t exist at all…

Right when I was about to refute these words, the chief guard swept his gaze over, his expression solemn.

Chief Guard: The high priestess will also play a major role in this ritual.

Chief Guard: So, please come with us.

MC: ???

Person A: That’s great! If the high priestess is there, everything will be fine…

Person B: Indeed, the high priestess is sure to protect us and Ayana Empire!

MC: (… I haven’t heard about this at all.)

Confused, I looked at the crowd, jubilant as they were in their relief.

Seeing my motionlessness, the chief guard ordered his men to come “help me along”.

MC: What are you doing?!

I instinctively retreated one step.

Simultaneously, a dagger flew past the tips of their ears, embedding itself on the ground.

???: No need to trouble yourselves. Leave that to me.

The chief guard lifted his gaze towards the building behind us, looking at the corner that was blocked by a colonnade.

After a several-minute stalemate, he finally gave in, gesturing for me to head to the high platform.

Chief Guard: Please make your way over then, high priestess.

MC: Understood…

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

The temple was built on the heights of the empire, as the place that was closest to the sky and the sun god.

Birds – the messengers of the gods – flew under the blazing sun, distracting me from the silhouette hidden in the shadows.

MC: What exactly are you aiming for…

The pitch-black jackal mask had been casually placed on the ground. The assassin who’d taken off his disguise stared off into the distance against the wall, looking utterly unperturbed by my arrival.

He looked calmly at me, even smiling a bit.

???: My aim is very simple. Per the pharaoh’s orders, I am to bring the high priestess to the desert shrine and carry out the final preparations for the ritual.

???: For convenience, just call me Luke.

MC: Luke?

I looked carefully over his face.

In stark contrast to the fiendish appearance I had imagined, his features were clean and delicate, his eyes clear and captivating.

Luke: Are you staring at me because you think I look weird?

MC: No, you just look a bit different from what I imagined.

He frowned slightly in response.

Luke: Never relax your guard just because you’ve judged a book by its cover.

Luke: If I wanted to, I could have you decapitated and scattered right now for seeing my true face.

He waved the dagger in his hand slightly. I met his gaze, refusing to concede.

MC: You wouldn’t dare.

MC: If you really do obey the pharaoh, you wouldn’t do anything to me – just like that night.

Luke: …

Unlike the confrontation he had earlier with the chief guard, this time, he quickly ceded, then smiled again.

Luke: Yep, you’re right. I wouldn’t actually do anything to you.

Luke: It’s just that it’s rare for me to get looked down on, so I wanted to mess with you a little…

Luke stood up and walked towards the temple interior.

He walked slowly up to me, but due to the presence of the Imperial Army, the guards outside the temple didn’t dare do anything foolish to him.

Luke: High priestess, do you know why I told you that no one would listen if you told them about the truth of the “curse”?

MC: …

Luke: Because he knows better than anyone where those who have gone missing are…

Luke: Adorning them with charges based on nothing and having them executed were his orders, to begin with.

MC: No way… the pharaoh has no reason to do this sort of thing.

Luke: Is that what you think?

Luke shook his head, in apparent exasperation at my stubbornness.

But I couldn’t understand at all, because my impression of the pharaoh was that he was a benevolent person, one who cared for the people.

Ordering the execution of innocent civilians, causing panic-inducing rumours… it really was hard for me to believe if I only heard one side of the story.

MC: I must go see the pharaoh.

Luke: He won’t see you.

MC: Why?

Luke: …

His only response to my direct questioning was silence. Thus, I could only change my question.

MC: Based on the oracle just now, the pharaoh will be personally presiding over the ritual in seven days, right?

Luke: Correct.

MC: Will the so-called “curses” really disappear after the ritual?

Luke: Yes.

MC: If so, I’ll personally verify all this on the day of the ritual with the pharaoh.

Luke: You mean, you’re still willing to go with me under these suspicious circumstances?

Luke frowned slightly, his mood hard to discern.

Though I knew nothing of the ceremony, I could only nod at him in consideration of the situation’s severity.

MC: The people are all looking forward to the ceremony.

MC: Regardless of the curse’s veracity, this is the only way to contain the panic in the town…

MC: Now that the pharaoh’s oracle is out, no one will believe me if I say what I saw without evidence.

MC: Sometimes, the truth won’t be able to change anything, and as the empire’s priestess, I have to prioritize how the people feel.

Luke sighed after he heard me.

Luke: Can’t be helped, then.

Right then, a maidservant came in with perfect timing. She placed a cup of fine wine on the table.

Maidservant: High priestess, please have the sacrament wine.

Luke: Wine?

MC: Sacrament wine is part of our typical rites. The pharaoh says that we need this to reach a higher level of consciousness and build a connection with the gods.

Luke: The pharaoh again.

He muttered in discontent, then poured the precious wine on the ground when the maidservant left.

MC: You…!

Luke: These sorts of things are bad for you. Plus, you’re better off not drinking wine during a critical time like this.

Luke: I haven’t prepared any fancy carriage for you, after all, so you’ll have to walk with me to the shrine.

MC: W-walk?

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

The market in the afternoon was as bustling as ever, with the sounds of hawking mixed in with the joyful laughs of children, creating a ruckus that was completely different from the night.

I followed behind Xia Yan, hurriedly replying to the enthusiastic greetings of the people.

Person A: The high priestess! I can’t believe I was able to see the high priestess in the market!

Person B: Hello, priestess! Hope you have a great day…

Facing the surprised reactions from the crowd, Luke looked back at me curiously.

Luke: Have you never come out before?

MC: Yes… These are the temple rules. Aside from the necessary trips during typical sacrificial rites, that time on the Wag Festival was my first.

Luke: No wonder.

He smiled, looking up at the circling birds in the sky, and suddenly asked me a question.

Luke: Do you know why we worship the birds?

MC: Because they can fly freely to the world of the gods?

Luke: Yes. So, high priestess, the one who boasts the title of gods’ messenger – why do you shut yourself up in a little cage?

Luke: To me, you should be able to go to more, greater places without any worries.

Luke looked seriously at me, his voice earnest.

He was smiling slightly, so unlike the coldness he displayed on our first meeting…

His eyes reflected the vast sky behind me, seeming to contain so many things I had never considered before.

MC: ???

His expression left me somewhat confounded…

MC: (Why is he asking this…)

MC: (I don’t think anyone has ever asked me this…)

During my moment of distraction, my stomach, which hadn’t received food ever since the morning, made its complaint.

MC: …

Luke: Haha, can’t be helped – in reward for walking so far with me, I’ll treat you to something.

A few minutes later, Luke held out some biscuit-like things placed on leaves in front of me.

Luke: Here, try them. They’re freshly-fried bean balls.

MC: Huh?

I looked bewilderedly at the fried things in front of me.

The food and drink in the temple had always been light, so it was my first time dealing with food like this.

Meanwhile, he seemed to have misunderstood what I meant…

Luke: Sorry, I almost forgot.

Luke: As the high priestess, you probably had maidservants helping you with your clothes and food in the temple…

Luke: But I don’t have this sort of experience, so could you just put up with it?

Luke stuck a toothpick in the fried bean ball and carefully held it up in front of my mouth.

MC: It’s not because of this…

Luke: Is it because of the rules again?

Luke: This isn’t the temple, so doing some improper things should be alright…

Luke: If the gods truly were to lay blame onto someone, then don’t I deserve even more blame for this sin, as the one who encouraged you to do this?

He took on all the guilt, candidly stating a bold and reckless proposal.

MC: (Blame for this sin…)

Merely tasting a snack in the city didn’t seem to be bad enough to be called a “sin”.

MC: … The gods wouldn’t be that petty.

Luke: If so, then it’s fine.

MC: …

I stared up close into those perpetually unfathomable eyes, and vaguely felt for a moment that he meant something else.

Luke: … Here, open your mouth.

A tempting aroma wafted from the food near my mouth. I couldn’t help gulping as he patiently guided me.

Finally, I couldn’t resist taking a bite.

MC: Whoa… it’s really delicious!

The bean-made food and the vegetables had been mixed in with a perfectly-adjusted spice, and was fragrant and crispy from frying.

Luke: See, I knew you’d like it.

Luke: …Slow down, don’t burn yourself.

As he looked at me amusedly, I took several bites.

MC: (So delicious…)

MC: ???

Strangely, though this was the first time I’d tried this, the taste in my mouth made me feel faintly wistful…

Part 3

Outer Edges of Empire

Under Luke’s lead, we made our intermittently-halting trip onwards, approaching the shrine outside the city.

MC: (That should be our target destination…)

My field of vision gradually expanded. I could faintly see the ancient buildings towering amid the boundless golden sand.

Unlike the market, there were mostly caravans outside the city.

Apparently, their wares were specialties from various different towns – some were even foreign goods.

MC: It smells really nice…

I looked all around as I walked, stopping when I stepped by a little mobile stand.

MC: …

Luke: What’s the matter?

Luke keenly noticed that I’d stopped and followed my gaze.

Luke: Go check it out if you’re interested.

MC: Huh? No, it’s already getting late, so we should probably head on our way instead…

Luke: It’s fine – we’re almost there anyways.

Luke: You probably won’t be getting much of these chances after the ritual, so how about you take it as a chance to make a memory?

He walked up to the stand as he spoke, and I rushed to catch up.

Exquisite incense boxes of various kinds of workmanship were piled densely on the wooden car, glittering so vividly under the sun that they looked like they’d been divinely blessed.

Stand Owner: Whoa, the high priestess, aren’t you! I just heard that you’d appeared in the market for once, but I sure didn’t expect to run into you myself.

Stand Owner: Go ahead, look to your heart’s content. Tell me if there’s a scent that you prefer – I’ll help you pick it out!

In consideration of this rarely-experienced kindness, I looked down at the dazzling lineup of incense boxes.

MC: A scent I prefer…

The rites in the temple were specific and set, and all of the incenses used had never once changed in years.

Over time, I didn’t bother with considering my own “preferences”…

If I had to come up with something now, the only one I could remember, the freshest memory of a scent that I had was…

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

He seemed to be staring at me through the slits of his mask.

I could smell a faint aroma, and despite the urgent situation, it left me unexpectedly mesmerized.

MC: (Is this some sort of perfume’s scent? I think it’s coming from him…)

[Flashback end]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

But thanks to how serious the situation had been back then, I couldn’t really remember it all too well anymore.

Both the elegant scent of water lilies and the rich fragrance of roses didn’t seem to quite match up with it.

Luke: What’s the matter? What are you thinking about now?

Apparently having noticed my hesitation, Luke rushed to comfort me.

Luke: Don’t worry, just pick as you wish. No need to worry about anything.

MC: Okay…

I nodded in response.

MC: (But… how do I figure out what that scent was…)

>Get close and sniff >Ask him directly

MC: Excuse me, I just want to confirm…

I grabbed his wrist and took a light sniff of it.

Luke: !!!

Luke: W-what are you doing…

For once, he looked at a loss from my sudden actions.

MC: I don’t know what I like, so I want to buy an incense that’s like the scent on your body.

Luke: … No, stop smelling it. What’s so good about being like me?

He anxiously withdrew his hand, covering his face with his arm to hide his expression.

 >Get close and sniff >Ask him directly

MC: Then, boss, could I get an incense that smells like the scent on his body?

Luke: The scent on my body?

Luke quickly recovered from his surprise, looking at me seriously before the stand owner could speak.

Luke: No. You can’t just say something like that on whim…

MC: Why?

Luke: … No reason.

Luke: Stop staring at me…

He retreated away from me, a slight blush appearing on his face as he dodged my gaze.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Seeing him look so unexpectedly helpless, I couldn’t help feeling surprised, and immediately apologized with my head lowered.

MC: I’m sorry…

Luke: You don’t need to apologize. It’s got nothing to do with you…

He withdrew several steps as he spoke, increasing the distance between us.

Seeing how awkward things had become, the shop owner helpfully started to market his wares to me.

Stand Owner: If you aren’t sure which to get, high priestess, how about trying this incense called Kyphi?

Stand Owner: It uses sixteen ingredients, including cinnamon and muskroot, and is made after soaking it in high-quality honey and grape wine…

MC: Kyphi?

Stand Owner: Indeed. This name even has a special meaning – “welcome to a place beside the gods”.

Stand Owner: This scent best suits the people of Ayana, who live in the state protected by the pharaoh, the incarnation of the gods.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Welcome to a place beside the gods…

With the incense called Kyphi in my hands, I slowly walked with Luke through the desert, towards those majestic ruins.

MC: (Everyone says that Ayana Empire is protected by the gods…)

MC: (But if Luke is telling the truth, the pharaoh had those missing people executed…)

MC: (As the incarnation of the gods, is the pharaoh truly protecting this place?)

MC: !!!

This sudden, absurd thought left me somewhat astonished.

But before I could think further, I heard a shout approaching behind us-

Worn-out Man: People… people over there, wait…

Worn-out Man: Could… could you give me some water… I’m in a hurry, and I can’t hold on anymore…

The owner of the voice was a man in ragged clothes, covered in sand. His skin had been severely tanned after years spent working under the sun.

He staggered up to us, looking like he was on the verge of collapsing.

MC: Are you alright?!

I was almost about to run up and support him when Luke held me back.

Luke: Don’t. I’ll deal with it.

MC: Huh?

Luke looked the man up and down. After pausing for several seconds, he threw over the water pouch he was holding.

Luke: Here.

Worn-out Man: Th-thank you!

The man took several loud gulps of water, finally calming down somewhat.

Luke remained on guard the whole time, watching the man’s movements closely.

Doubts gradually popped up in my head as I followed his gaze.

MC: (Why is he alone in the desert… and why does he look so worn-out…)

MC: (Is he a refugee? But… there haven’t been any battles under this dynasty for a long while. We should be in the middle of an age of prosperity…)

Right as I went over my suspicions, I heard Luke’s voice again, sounding pressing this time.

Luke: Are you almost done?

Worn-out Man: Yes, th-thank you both! I’ll be off…

Luke: … Hold on.

Luke frigidly called that man to a halt as he was about to make his hasty departure.

The moment he took his water pouch, he yanked at the man’s wrist and pressed him onto the ground.

Worn-out Man: Aaaaahhh- w-what are you doing?!

Luke: Rather than leaving, shouldn’t you be returning to where you should be?

Luke: Based on your clothes and condition, you must be a construction worker for the pyramids. Why are you here?

MC: …Worker?

Worn-out Man: No! I won’t go back… I won’t go back! I want to go home!

Worn-out Man: I beg you, great sun god, please save me!

As the man prayed to the sun, I looked towards the edges of the desert that I hadn’t noticed before.

Several unfinished pyramids rose from the ground on the horizon. Many antlike, black dots surrounded the area, toting stone blocks around.

A shiver ran down my back under the blazing sun.

MC: Can’t we let him go?

Luke: He’ll get caught soon even if we do.

Luke: He’s better off submitting obediently – he’ll still be able to live, at least.

Just as he said, supervisors on their way to catch him soon came running over.

After a respectful salute to Luke, they immediately dragged the man roughly back to the barren-looking pyramids.

MC: Does the will of the pharaoh also include building pyramids all over the place…

These were a display of the pharaoh’s power and the structure that would connect him to the heavens for immortality after he passed away. It should have been an incomparably holy thing.

And yet, I couldn’t help shivering as I looked at them.

Luke: They’re living people, yet they��re busy all day with death-related work. High priestess, don’t you find this quite ironic?

MC: …

Luke looked seriously at me in silence.

MC: I…

Before I could respond, he changed the topic, his expression changing along with it.

Luke: Remember, this is a reverse example.

MC: ???

Luke: … Before escaping, make sure to deal with all the threats behind you, or else all of your efforts will go up in smoke eventually.

MC: Why are you telling me this?

Luke: To make sure you don’t waste your efforts in the future, of course.

I didn’t understand what he meant at this critical moment.

Only as we gradually approached the desert shrine did I gain a faint understanding of his meaning.

  Part 4

Desert Shrine

Luke: Have something to eat.

Luke closed the stone door shut and walked slowly up to me, leaned down, and smiled resignedly.

Warmth still emanated from the dish full of fried bean balls, but I had no appetite whatsoever.

MC: …

One day had already passed since we entered this place.

No matter how much I was unwilling to believe it all, I gradually found myself noticing lots of abnormalities. This location, where the prayer ritual was to be, wasn’t situated in the heights closest to the gods. Rather, it was buried deep underground… The interior of the dark shrine was cold and hollow and had no sacrificial tools whatsoever – only weak candlelights that flickered discomfortingly.

I looked at Luke, recalling what he had told me when we had first entered this desert shrine again-

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

Luke: Here’s our destination.

MC: Destination… so this is where the prayer ritual will be held?

Luke: Yes. Rest first and get used to your surroundings. I’ve prepared all your daily necessities for the next few days…

Luke: I’ll tell you everything about the ritual after.

Luke: Because you’ll be completely severed from the outside world from now on, starting from when you enter this place.

[Flashback end]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

MC: Is this ritual really a “curse”-dispelling prayer ritual?

Luke: Based on the results, you could say that.

Luke held up the container he’d just brought over, set down a cup, and poured a cup of water for me.

Luke: But its true purpose isn’t that simple.

Luke: The pharaoh wants to use this ritual to win over the people and solidify his authority.

MC: …

I received the cup of water, setting it aside on a stone table, as I didn’t feel thirsty at all.

MC: What do you mean by solidify his authority?

Luke: The current pharaoh did not receive his position through inheritance, like it would be usually. The process that this happened in is pretty complex…

Luke: Such that even though the people trust that the pharaoh is the gods’ incarnation, his prestige is far below that of you, the high priestess.

Luke: These conditions are disadvantageous for long-term authority. Plus, the people are starting to question things, with the increasingly burdensome work they do…

Luke: Which is why the pharaoh urgently needs this ritual to strengthen the trust that everyone has in him.

MC: !!!

My back broke into a cold sweat, hearing his low voice resounding off the cold, hollow stone.

Luke: The pharaoh’s methods are very simple…

Luke: First, use fear to force the people into submission, then save them himself, and finally, give them some far-fetched hope.

Luke: In this process, the “fear” is the curse, the “saving” is this curse-dispelling ritual, and the final “hope”…

Luke: Is you.

MC: Me?

Luke: Correct. You, the high priestess who is deeply revered by the people, who is a major threat to the pharaoh.

Luke: He will bestow you the right to enter Aaru* before the populace, and vow that this honour will be given hereafter to the most faithful of followers.

*Note: Aaru literally means “Field of Reeds”, which is what the Chinese text says.

MC: Aaru…

In the myths, the deceased would enter “The House of Osiris” after judgment. That lush, leafy heaven was called Aaru.

Though I had a faint hunch already, I still asked my question…

MC: What must be done to enter Aaru?

Luke stared at me, a sliver of pity in his eyes.

Luke: Come with me.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Luke brought me through a winding corridor to the underground shrine.

Luke: Aside from the terrible missions I do for the pharaoh, this is also one of my duties.

MC: This is…

As we got deeper, a familiar scent grew stronger. It was the scent I had smelled before from Luke, but its source was different this time.

Luke: You seemed to like this scent a lot before…

A bed carved from alabaster had been placed in the middle of the massive room.

The scent came from the containers on the nearby round table, from which the incense I had been so curious about probably came from.

But…

Luke: But will you still feel the same after this?

Luke walked up to the round table. On it, aside from the incense, there was a row of sharp tools.

Luke: The legends say that the soul will remain attached to the body after death. If the proper antiseptic preservation methods are performed, they can come back to life one day…

Luke: This is how one enters Aaru.

MC: Mummies…

This was the tradition handed down from the ancient times of the dynasty.

As the procedure was cumbersome, only the pharaoh or the royal family would receive this honour, and also…

MC: Typically, this is only done after the person has died…

Luke: Yes. So, for the pharaoh, the other purpose of this ritual is to get rid of you.

MC: … Get rid of me?

I instinctively shook my head.

MC: No – according to the legends, the dead can reach the afterlife under the guidance of their patron god Anubis…

MC: I don’t think there’s anything that different compared to when they’re alive…

Luke: Is that what you really think?

Luke held up the chisel on the table. I shouldn’t have been scared, with my enduring belief in the gods, but my body couldn’t help trembling.

Luke: This process is not as simple as you think.

He gripped my wrist and stuffed the chisel into my hand, pointing it at his forehead.

Luke: First in the antiseptic procedure… this will be scooped out.

As if he was trying to make me experience all of this…

He ignored the pale red marks, watching me seriously with his unfathomable eyes. The tip of the chisel glided over his skin, down his nose, neck, chest, and abdomen.

Luke: Next, the other organs in the body are taken out from the cut on the abdomen.

Luke: All that is left in the end is the heart…

Luke: As everyone generally considers the heart to be the symbol of intelligence, and that it is needed on the path to the afterlife.

As Luke went on with his slow narration, an overwhelming fear grew like a whirlpool in my heart.

Ding-

My hand had released the chisel, and it clattered on the floor.

MC: …

I opened my mouth, but I had no idea what to say.

Finally, he held up my hand, slowly placing it over his heart.

Luke: But after all these procedures end and the heart is left, do you think that it could ever beat again?

Luke: The afterlife, Aaru, the gods… do these truly exist?

Luke: Do you believe in them?

The warmth and the forceful beats – everything that I felt under my palm – were the greatest proof of life.

After this, Luke released me.

I lowered my hand slowly, feeling nothing but a biting coldness and an infinite emptiness.

Luke: High priestess, though you have no way out anymore…

Luke: I hope that you can at least see all this clearly in your remaining time.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

For as far as I could remember, I lived in Ayana Temple and worshipped the gods piously.

Even if I had my doubts now, what could I even do at this point?

I tossed and turned for a long time that night…

Amid my never-ending unease, I dreamed – something that I had not done in a long while.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

In the resplendent Ayana Temple, the pharaoh, in place of the former priest who had died from illness, kindly bestowed the title of succession on me.

He then handed the splendid cup full of sacrament wine to me.

Pharaoh: Gods bless you.

I held my hand out to accept it, but the cup suddenly fell to the ground. There was now no one in the sacrificial room.

Only a boy dressed in finery stood behind the curtain, speaking earnestly-

Boy: If you want to live, then run.

[Flashback end]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

MC: !!!

I suddenly woke right when he finished speaking.

The incense box placed at the headboard fell off the stone bed from my movements, making a clinking sound in the silent, empty room.

MC: This dream is…

I leaned down and picked up that incense box, and was suddenly reminded of what that stand owner outside the town had told me.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

Stand Owner: Oh right, one other thing…

Stand Owner: This Kyphi incense was once used in various rituals.

Stand Owner: So, these complicated ingredients include some that have slight anaesthetic and hallucinogenic effects…

Stand Owner: High priestess, be careful that you do not overuse or ingest it when using it.

[Flashback end]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

The leftover fried bean balls were placed beside the bed.

Though I felt that it tasted completely different from before no matter how much I tried it…

But another serving would be sent tomorrow, assuming nothing went wrong…

MC: If so…

I clenched the incense box in my hand and made up my mind.

MC: Just like he said before…

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

Luke: Remember, this is a reverse example.

Luke: … Before escaping, make sure to deal with all the threats behind you, or else all of your efforts will go up in smoke eventually.

[Flashback end]

Part 5

Desert Shrine

As expected, Luke had people send over freshly fried bean balls the next day.

While no one was around, I added some of the incense source from the box into its filling.

After, I coaxed Luke to eat them, and he did so without any hesitation or doubt.

Luke: …

The anesthetic aspect soon took effect.

I heard his quiet, low groans as he held his forehead, his eyes gradually becoming hazier.

MC: Are you alright?

Luke: … Huh? You…!

I snatched the moment he fell into a daze…

Bam-

After pushing Luke down onto the ground, I rapidly grabbed the cloth strips behind me that I’d made from the bedding, tying his hands up tight.

After ensuring that I was safe, I lowered my body and stared at him.

Maybe it was because of the effects of the incense, or maybe because his current, troubled state left him flustered…

Luke’s breathing in his tied-up state was rapid and his chest heaved violently, almost as if I could hear his heartbeat.

Luke: You… don’t get so close…

MC: Are you scared? I was also scared before… and those innocent, victimized people probably were too.

MC: Do you now know what it feels like?

Luke: …

His eyes no longer shifted away. Instead, they met mine directly.

I looked into those crystalline, penetrating eyes, and to my surprise, I saw a trace of evident apology in them.

Luke: … I’m sorry.

Luke: I know it must not have been easy for you to do this much…

His voice was gentle. Despite his current situation, I couldn’t hear the slightest bit of resentment.

This sudden consolation left me frozen for a moment.

But before I could soften, I forced myself to stay on guard, in case he was planning to escape.

MC: Pretty words won’t help you. I won’t let you go.

Luke: I wasn’t asking for you to let me go.

MC: Back on topic – where is the key to the door? How do I get out?

Luke: There is no key.

MC: If you won’t tell the truth, I really won’t hold back…

I slowly got closer to him, trying to display a threatening sort of pressure.

And his breathing did indeed become panicky again.

Luke: … I’m telling the truth.

Luke: Those doors don’t have locks, and they don’t even have guards set there. You only don’t know because you never tried.

MC: !!!

Just like he said, I had never thought of escaping, as if I had been bound here.

But things were different now…

Right when I was planning to get up, he called out to me.

Luke: Wait.

Luke: I told you before - make sure to deal with all the threats behind you, or else all of your efforts will go up in smoke eventually.

Luke: So… aren’t you going to do anything?

Luke looked at me searchingly, his expression calm.

He was bound up, yet I felt like he was in the active position right now, dominating the entire situation.

MC: … No need. That would only cause a greater commotion. Either way, the guards won’t find you for now, so I have enough time to escape.

MC: After this, someone will punish you for your mistake.

Luke: Is that so…

He smiled faintly at me as if he were moved, the emotion in his eyes indescribable.

Luke: After you escape, remember to not be so softhearted ever again.

MC: …

I suppressed the mixed feelings in my heart, getting up without replying to him.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Everything became quiet again as the footsteps faded off, leaving only the faint sounds of the flickering candles.

Luke did not call for help. He applied a slight force with his wrists, easily breaking free of his bindings.

He stood up by supporting himself against the wall, then released a gratified sigh towards the direction that the girl had vanished in.

Luke: As it should be…

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

After I was fortunately able to leave that underground shrine through a secret path, I had originally prepared myself to have to rough it…

But, beyond my expectations, this death-escaping journey was much smoother than I’d expected.

As I wandered aimlessly, a caravan headed for foreign lands suddenly appeared in the desolate desert, just like a mirage.

They said that they were going to the oasis country across the sea…

Where resources and people abounded, where it was as overflowing with culture as it was here – a fertile land that drew many to it.

In the night, the salty, wet sea wind blew in my face, making me feel as if everything I’d experienced was an entire lifetime ago.

Caravan Member: Get ready to board the boat – we’re about to set off.

MC: Mhmm…

I looked at the merchant boat floating beside the shore. For some reason, I felt an inexplicable restlessness.

Caravan Member: Don’t worry, young lady. We’re honorable businesspeople – no human trafficking whatsoever.

Caravan Member: And since you’ve promised to help us with miscellaneous work, it’s a transaction where both sides benefit, so you don’t need to feel like you owe us…

Caravan Member: If you’re still worried, I’ve got a self-defense dagger here for you. You can keep it on you at all times on the trip.

MC: … Thank you.

I took the dagger that he held out to me, but that feeling of distress still didn’t dispel.

Seeing that the sailors were beginning to retrieve the anchor, I could only follow him onto the wooden board that connected the shore to the merchant boat.

But right before I boarded…

MC: !!!

MC: He’s…

Right when I was halfway there, I suddenly saw a familiar silhouette on deck.

Though we didn’t know each other, I remembered his face clearly, because on that night…

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

In the little, dusky alley, just a few steps away, a man was lying motionlessly on the floor.

MC: Are you alright?!

I rushed over, preparing to check his body for injuries. However…

MC: !!!

A frigid aura emanated from behind me. I instinctively stopped moving.

???: Sometimes, being too sharp isn’t a good thing.

 [Flashback end]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

MC: (Shouldn’t he already be…)

MC: (Plus, isn’t it way too coincidental for him to be boarding the same merchant boat that’s escaping across the sea as me…)

I finally seemed to have sorted through my originally messy emotions…

Right then, I recalled the various minor details that I had ignored before.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

Luke: Do you know why we worship the birds?

MC: Because they can fly freely to the world of the gods?

Luke: Yes. So, high priestess, the one who boasts the title of the gods’ messenger – why do you shut yourself up in a little cage?

Luke: In my opinion, you should be able to go to more, greater places without any worries.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Luke: This isn’t the temple, so doing some improper things should be alright…

Luke: If the gods truly were to lay blame onto someone, then don’t I deserve even more blame for this sin, as the one who encouraged you to do this?

[Flashback end]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Encouraged… I repeated this word in my head.

Those strange emotions, those inexplicable words – the answer seemed to be within reach after I painstakingly pondered over them.

Nearby, the sailors were urging people onboard. There was no more time for me to speak with that man on the deck.

Caravan Member: Get aboard, young lady! Get aboard!

All I had left were these final seconds.

I knew right then that this was a critical decision in changing my fate. I should have gone for the more reliable option, but…

“After you escape, remember to not be so softhearted ever again.”

But this time, I wouldn’t do as he wanted.

MC: (There must be a better way to solve this than doing nothing and escaping alone…)

The waves surged in the night wind. Finally, I ended up returning to the shore, against the blowing wind.

I returned to that shrine one day later.

The ritual was imminent. I gripped the dagger that the caravan member had given me and carefully made my way through the winding secret path…

In the former grand hall, there now stood another person aside from Luke.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Chief Guard: So you really were playing little tricks.

Chief Guard: I specifically had people investigate after that day – the so-called grave pile doesn’t have any skeletons at all.

Chief Guard: Where exactly did the people that the pharaoh had you deal with go?

I held my breath, lying low silently in the corner.

The chief guard was a devoted follower of the pharaoh. He was as hostile as he had been that day, pointing his sword straight at Luke.

Chief Guard: And the high priestess – where is she?

Luke was completely unarmed, seeming like he’d lost his will to live as he lowered his neck to the sword blade.

Luke: None of your business.

Chief Guard: If you’re going to be so pigheaded, then on behalf of the pharaoh…

When I saw the chief guard swing his sword, I sprinted out and stabbed him in the back-

MC: !!!

I thought that I’d landed the mark… But he reacted with shocking speed, changing his direction of force as he backhandedly parried my attack.

With the clinking of metal, the dagger was sent flying into the corner.

Luke: Careful!!!

I heard Luke shout anxiously. Right then, my mind was completely blank as my ability to think evaporated.

Time seemed to stagnate. I watched wide-eyed as the chief guard swung his sword at me…

MC: …

But right after, my body spontaneously reacted.

A fierce wind blasted in my face as I saw the blade sweep past my hair. I instinctively retreated one step, rolling to the altar as I dodged the slash.

Chief Guard: !!!

Under the chief guard’s astonished stare, I got up and grabbed the two chisels on the round table. Then, I threw one of them at him before he could react…

Clang-

Using the moment that he deflected it with his sword, I sped forward. After this feint, I met his shocked, widened eyes as I adjusted my center of gravity, stabbing him at his weak point on his side-

Bang!

When I came back to my senses, the chief guard had already fallen.

The sharp chisel was embedded in his back waist as a crimson liquid flowed out unceasingly from the wound, dyeing the ground in red.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Luke: Are you alright?!

Luke ran staggeringly over to me. Only when I had indicated that I was fine did he release a breath.

After he wiped the stains off the back of my hand, he blocked my view of the chief guard.

Luke: Don’t worry, he’s still alive… just leave the rest to me.

MC: I… I…

The crisis had been averted and my rationality had returned, yet a greater fear flooded over me.

MC: H-how did that happen… just now… my movements…

I had always lived in the temple, praying daily to the gods.

But the memories that were growing clearer in my mind told me that both the instinctive fighting skills just now and the scene before my eyes…

Were not my first encounter with them.

Part 6

Ayana Temple

I could vaguely remember seeing these brutal scenes often, back during candidate training.

I once snuck into the temple and prayed to the gods, not as a priestess, but as a pathetic seeker of help.

Boy: I finally get to see you again. I thought you weren’t going to ever return.

Boy: Are these things on the altar… the offerings you brought?

“Yes, these are the leftover fried bean balls from what the uncle in the city was selling… please try some.”

Boy: You look like you’ve been injured again… does it hurt? Come over – I’ll apply some medicine for you.

“I’m alright – at least I still can feel things. But there are some children who couldn’t hold on, who won’t ever get up again after lying down.”

“So, esteemed high priest, there is something that I would like to request you help me bring to God…”

“… I have prayed for a long time, but it seems like he has always ignored my wish.”

Boy: I’m still learning from my teacher, so I’m not an official priest yet.

Boy: But since you chat with me all the time, and because of the fried bean balls you brought, I’ll do my best to help you.

Boy: Tell me, what’s your wish?

“I don’t want to do things for the new pharaoh. I only want to… continue living peacefully…”

Boy: … I got it.

Boy: If you want to live, then escape.

“But they run much faster than I do. I’m sure they’d catch me instantly…”

Boy: They won’t.

“Why?”

Boy: Because God just told me that he heard your wish, so he will protect you.

Boy: Plus… he also wants you to live on peacefully.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

That night, I mustered the courage to leave the empire.

I didn’t dare stop running until I was thoroughly exhausted, in fear of the chasing soldiers behind me.

Finally, I collapsed in the desert. When I woke again, I was in the temple.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

The high priest sat on the bedside, stroking my head gently.

Former Priest: From now onwards, this will be your residence. You can study here with me without worry.

I asked him “why” many times, but the only answer I ever received was a sigh, as well as those never-changing words-

Former Priest: Because the gods favor you.

The gods favor me…

But after that, I never saw that boy in the temple, and the high priest never said a word about him.

I continued praying devoutly to the gods, praying that I would be able to see him again.

During those days of prayer, I even suspected that the one person who had heard my wish might have been a god himself.

After the aged high priest passed away, the pharaoh gave me sacrament wine during the succession ceremony.

This was the only way to reach higher levels of consciousness and build a connection with the gods.

Gradually, I forgot what my goal in all this was.

Amid the never-ending prayers, only a deep belief in the gods became rooted firmly in my heart.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Desert Shrine

MC: Luke…

After dealing with the unconscious chief guard’s wound, Luke looked back at me from his place in a hard-to-detect corner.

He looked completely worn-out, yet he looked extremely similar to that finely-dressed, holy boy of my memories.

MC: The pharaoh messed with the sacrament wine… at the temple before, did you knock it over on purpose?

MC: I did forget what happened, but you’ve always remembered…

After a moment of dumbfoundedness, Luke smiled resignedly.

Luke: Before, I thought that forgetting the past and starting anew was a good thing.

Luke: But now, I feel that it’s better to remember some things, such as… a past desire to live.

MC: …

Only then did I completely understand that the so-called gods had never favored me.

It was Luke… he was supposed to be the empire’s oracle priest revered by the populace, and he traded his fate with me.

MC: … But why did you help me?

Luke: Because I stopped believing in the gods, starting from that day.

Luke swept calmly past the protective Anubis statues on the two sides.

To him, those probably weren’t the revered ancient gods at all – instead, they were two worthless rocks.

Finally, his gaze fell on me, his mood hard to describe.

Luke: I couldn’t understand – if the gods truly existed, why did they never help you despite all of your many prayers?

Luke: Were you not sincere enough, or were they not benevolent enough? Or – maybe the gods don’t exist at all.

Luke: I deliberated over this unsolvable problem many times, and ultimately made a decision.

Luke: Regardless if they had heard your wish, I, at least, had heard it. So I would be the one to fulfill it.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

[Flashback]

Former Priest: You want to save her, but how will you do so?

Former Priest: Those children were selected by the pharaoh from many places. Though it is difficult to distinguish who they are from the masks that they typically wear…

Former Priest: But the numbers are rigorously counted every day. They’ll know instantly if one is missing.

Boy: Then I’ll replace her.

Boy: Our ages are similar, and even if our genders are different, there are several hundred candidates. No one will care that much.

Former Priest: …Ridiculous! I did not train you for this sort of purpose!

Boy: But, high priest…

Boy: If I leave this alone and she really does die from injury in training one day…

Boy: Not only would I stop believing in the gods – I’d even start hating them… in that case, I would not be able to serve as your successor.

Boy: So, I beg you…

[Flashback end]

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Luke smiled lightly after his explanation.

Luke: Maybe because I was very fit with particular talent…

Luke: Though I started training late, I still was able to hold on until the end, thanks to a surpassing will to live.

He spoke so simply about a process that must have nearly killed him many times.

I faced him, a bitterness that I couldn’t swallow in my throat.

MC: Will to live… then why were you willing to be defeated by the chief guard?

Luke: …

Luke: If I knew that I’d be able to see you again, I would have definitely resisted.

Luke let out a deep sigh, then looked back at me seriously.

Luke: There is still some time until the ritual, so run now. Hide by the seashore for the next while, and wait for the next…

MC: I won’t run.

Luke: Don’t joke around! You…

He was just about to admonish me when the sounds of footsteps sounded from the far end of the corridor.

Luke picked up the chisel that had just been taken off the chief guard’s body in response.

Luke: I’ll deal with this.

MC: Wait. Don’t make a big ruckus out of this.

I grabbed his hand, wiping the red stains on his body with my clothes.

Luke understood my intentions quickly.

He frowned, knowing that time was tight, and could only pull aside the curtain before the altar as I wanted…

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

The moment I reclined on the altar, the reporting guard also rushed in, a few steps away from us behind the curtain.

Guard: The pharaoh will be here soon – may I ask how much longer you need…

Luke: … I’m already preparing.

Guard: The high priestess…

The guard stepped up to check on the situation as he spoke…

Luke: The high priestess has already gone to rest. Do not disturb her.

Right after, Luke threw the chisel he was holding past the curtain, embedding it beside his foot.

The curtain fluttered gently, revealing half of my hanging arm.

Guard: Y-yes…

Startled by Luke’s angry sullenness, the guard retreated from the stone room.

When everything quieted down again, he released a breath, planning to help me up from the altar…

While he was off-guard, I reached up, pulling him down by the nape of his neck.

This sudden action gave him no time to react, and with his unstable center of gravity, he could only prop himself up in front of me…

Luke: What are you doing…!

His breathing grew panicked from my movements.

He could’ve easily broken free, but he let me approach his ear as I placed my head in the hollow of his neck.

Luke: … Stop smelling it. Don’t you find it dirty?

Luke: I already told you that this incense’s scent comes from my antiseptic work…

MC: It’s not dirty at all. I like your scent a lot.

I inhaled gently. My exhale blew over his ear and neck, trembling slightly.

MC: You ensure that the souls of the deceased can rest peacefully, and you give living people new chances.

MC: You’ve saved so many people, including me… to me, you are more worthy of reverence than those imaginary gods.

MC: So, Luke, let’s find a way that can save both others and ourselves this time.

Luke: Do you mean…

MC: Fake it until the end, just like earlier – then, deal with the pharaoh using the ritual.

If only Luke made a move, he was sure to be executed after being charged with severe crimes.

But if I, who was thought to have gone to “Aaru” already, suddenly “resurrected” and imposed punishment on the pharaoh for the “gods”…

We might gain the trust of the people and have a chance at living.

Luke: This is too risky for you…

Luke: I’m worried…

He seemed to have realized that I wouldn’t change my mind, powerlessly lowering his head as he spoke, his trembling voice full of worry and distress.

MC: Based on our customs, the priest will write protective incantations on papyrus paper and place it in the tomb of the deceased, to bless them so that they will live peacefully in the afterlife.

MC: If you’re worried, Luke, write some prayers for me too.

Luke: … That’s bad luck. You’re still alive.

MC: The blessing intent remains the same, though.

Unable to persuade me, Luke could only hum an affirmative.

Luke: I’ve already thought of what to write. I’ll do it in a moment.

MC: What is it?

Luke: I’ll tell you after it ends, so… you must get out of this safe and sound.

We plotted a plan that was basically blasphemy against the gods, clinging together on the holy altar.

Before he finished carefully preparing my body as if for a corpse and covered me with a blanket… he kissed my forehead, as if in blessing.

In the faintly flickering candlelight, I looked into those perfectly clear eyes, praying reverently that the lights in them would never be extinguished…

… Simultaneously, giving that kiss a more fervent response.

Finally, this curse-dispelling, empire-stirring prayer ritual came to an end with the death of the pharaoh.

Opinions varied on the entire course of events, leaving a heavy, bright mark on the history of the dynasty.

✼ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✼

Palace

One month after the new pharaoh succeeded to the throne.

Chief Guard: I will bring the young pharaoh back then, high priestess. There is still much that he must study – if he hadn’t been clamoring about coming to the temple…

Chief Guard: Ah, forget it.

I nodded, preparing to rise and send him off.

Before he left, I couldn’t resist calling out to that eternally straight-backed chief guard, who was intimidating even when he merely stood there.

MC: Even if the people believed my words that day, you must have known the reason behind it all, chief guard…

MC: You have always only obeyed the pharaoh, so why have you still not made a move?

Chief Guard: High priestess, I don’t understand what you mean.

Chief Guard: I still obey to the “pharaoh” – otherwise, I would not have brought him to you today to play.

MC: … That is true.

Chief Guard: If you are trusted as the will of the people, then the reason why the former pharaoh – the incarnation of the gods – died so easily, may have been the will of the heavens.

Chief Guard: This isn’t something I can do anything about… especially since the true offender has long died in prison, so there is nothing to go over seriously about.

Chief Guard: As time is tight, I will head off first.

MC: Take care.

Just as the chief guard said, the person who dealt the lethal blow to the pharaoh and cut off his head was not me, but Luke.

He was subsequently imprisoned… although…

Luke: Ugh, that chief guard really sounds satisfied with my “death in prison”.

Luke popped in through the window, sighing annoyedly.

MC: On the other hand, that’s a good thing – if even the chief guard believes that, no one will probably suspect anything…

MC: … Sorry that this was the only way to let you let you escape unscathed.

Luke: It’s alright – I’m perfectly fine, right? Just that…

Luke: You should deal less with that chief guard and that ignorant, incompetent little pharaoh from now on.

Luke: Who knows when they might come up with crooked ideas to set you up…

MC: It’s alright – you’re here, after all.

Luke: That’s true. Then, remember to rely on me more in the future, like right now…

MC: !!!

Luke embraced me from behind, bringing me to recline together on the long couch.

Luke: You’ve been dealing with the messes left by the former pharaoh for all of last night. You didn’t even get a wink of sleep.

Luke: Take an afternoon nap, now that you have time for once… I’ll be with you.

MC: … Okay.

I was just about to close my eyes when a sudden breeze blew in from the window, blowing the papyrus scrolls on the table onto the ground.

MC: Ah!

Luke: Don’t move… I’ll pick those scrolls up in a moment. Let them do whatever for now.

MC: They’re not documents, though. They’re what you wrote for me…

Realizing that Luke wasn’t going to let go, I could only mumble an explanation, burying my head in embarrassment into his chest.

Those papyrus scrolls were the prayers that he had written for me before that prayer ceremony.

Luke: … I didn’t think you’d keep them.

MC: Of course I did.

Luke still didn’t let me go, instead reclining his head on my shoulder. Like the hair coiling around my neck, I heard a few comfortable hums, making me feel slightly tingly.

He then spoke.

Luke: When everything settles down, let’s go to a country across the sea where no one recognizes us.

MC: Mhmm, okay.

Perhaps that oasis country across the sea was my true “Aaru”.

Embracing a hope for the future, a sleepiness gradually descended on me…

As I fell asleep, I seemed to hear him gently reciting that prayer written on the papyrus scrolls by my ear-

Luke: “I pray that you will continue to live bravely onwards, as you had described.”

Luke: “When you are exhausted, I too will cease, and sink with you into an eternal slumber.”

  Aftertalk

Done with work? Looks like I finally have the chance to be with you alone.

>Intimate interactions >Fried bean balls…

>Select ankh

MC: (According to the legends, this is a possession of the gods with disaster- and illness-preventing effects. It represents the repeating nature of life, rebirth, and eternity.)

Luke: You’ve been staring at my chest for a while. Are you curious about the pendant?

MC: A little… if I recall correctly, you don’t believe in this stuff, so why would you wear an amulet like that?

Luke: I don’t use this to protect myself – I only wore it before as part of the prayers for the deceased, and then I just got used to it.

Luke: Although, it’s pretty pointless at this point. Maybe I should take it off…

MC: Huh? Don’t take it off… I think it looks pretty good as normal jewelry. Just keep it on.

Luke: Is that so? If you like seeing me wear it, then I won’t take it off.

 >Select upper-left

MC: (The new pharaoh is still young and requires a lot of support from the temple…)

MC: (This place has been receiving an endless stream of guests all day recently. It’s so rare for me to have time to talk to Luke.)

 >Select head

MC: Luke, have you been wearing that mask these days?

Luke: Sometimes I wear it when going out, so my face doesn’t get seen… although, that’s not necessary with you.

MC: Indeed – I can’t see your expression when you’re wearing a mask. This is much better.

 >Intimate interactions >Fried bean balls…

MC: Weird, these fried bean balls have a distinct taste compared to the ones we ate before…

Luke: I knew that I couldn’t hide this from you. I made this secretly in the kitchen while no one was there.

Luke: Since I can’t appear in the market now under my current conditions – it would be bad if my identity were exposed.

MC: Is that so….

MC: (Before, I announced that Luke had died in prison. Though he was able to avoid execution thanks to this, his freedom is still limited.)

Luke: What’s the matter? Based on your expression… does it taste bad?

MC: Not at all! It doesn’t taste bad! I’m just worried that you might find your lifestyle right now really boring…

MC: If you want, you can leave the empire for a while, so you wouldn’t need to be so careful.

Luke: I don’t want that, because… not only do I not find it boring, but I also feel like this isn’t too bad, the way things are.

MC: Really?

Luke: Yep, really. Since no one knows that I’m alive, I don’t have to bother with some unnecessary dealings too.

Luke: Plus, it’s because that I’m alone that you’ll worry about me from time to time, just like now, right?

Luke: No matter where you are or who you’re talking to, you’ll remember that I’m waiting for you. That’s enough to satisfy me.

MC: Luke, don’t be so easily satisfied…

MC: Even if we go elsewhere in the future where you don’t need to conceal yourself, I’ll always be thinking of you.

Luke: Then, when time comes, I’ll be able to monopolize you openly… and beat off anyone who bothers us.

MC: Pfft, isn’t that a little too childish?

Luke: I’ve been holding back for so long, so it should be justifiable for me to be a bit childish…

Luke: Plus, I’m also hoping that after you shed the responsibility you bear, you can be more childish and reckless in front of me, okay?

MC: Okay… I’ll try.