#you are sick and twisted and i love you and i hate you
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*BAM*
THAT WAS THE SOUND OF ME BUSTING THE DOOR DOWN. HI. Okay so first thing's first, I recently saw an animatic (??) by @/armintist on Instagram about N's perception of Tessa as of ep. 6 and it has broken the dam. Your honor I think about what must have been going through his head at that given moment So Often; some may say too often (I know my roommate definitely would, sorry Anna-). Y'all, he literally just remembered her existence and because we have no canon timeline as to how long was between eps. 5&6, I'm going to assume it was no LESS than two hours, IF EVEN. Doll could have gone straight to "Tessa" from Uzi's house, we'll never know. But like... what in the fuck was going on in his brain? This person, who he KNOWS that he knows, that he has vague, barely comprehensible memories of from a time far back into his past that he only just got back, is suddenly standing right in front of him again. And he hesitates, because OF COURSE HE DID. It looks like her (or does it? He doesn't remember his face, he never even truly saw it), it sounds like her, it feels like her... but how long has it been? And why here, why now?
Honestly, "Cyn's" pretty smart. She knew he would be willing to go along with what he told her because he's never really pressed into his memories before. He's relieved the tidbits of them, sure, but he tends to acknowledge them and move on. She knew all she had to do was act right and he would probably trust her. But what she didn't account for was him finding a love worth fighting for, and that's where her ultimate fucky-wucky was. But I'm not here to talk about "Cyn's" strategy, I'm here to talk about our beloved traumatized murder robot puppy.
What do you think happened when it hit him that that skin over Cyn's body wasn't of it's own creation? That his friend was technically still alive, if you count her preserved remains being thrown over a robot body like some sick and twisted reverse fursuit. And it can't be said that that didn't happen, because it definitely did. N's little episode in the hallway while "Cyn" hunted them down showed us that he is in fact recovering his memories. Slowly, and at very unfortunate times, but he is. And I can almost guarantee you that at some point, in some way, he must have recovered the full memory of the gala massacre. And oh me oh my, that must have been a long, hard day for him. Thank God he has Uzi now-
That aside, he must eventually realize what happened. And as he remembers more and more good times with her, his little heart probably just shattered more and more. Along with all of the other BULLSHIT he must be remembering following ep. 8.
AND ANOTHER THING ON THAT NOTE. I have so so so many emotions about N and how good he is and how,,,, Genuinely Good his heart is. Like actually. Y'all, need I remind the court that he was supposed to KILL Uzi. He had her PINNED TO THE WALL with a wing, but after watching her father turn around and ABANDON HER, he stopped. And sure, it can be reasonably said that this is because he spent some time with Uzi beforehand, but how long would they have had together, logistically? Ten minutes, maybe twenty, tops?? The fact that that was enough for him to COMPLETELY CHANGE SIDES and want to help her instead (which is also attributed to the conversation they had in the cockpit but again, TEN MINUTES)... listen, Uzi had no one before she found N, but N had no one either. J openly abused him, and V had to act like she hated him to protect him. N was lonely, just like Uzi. Somehow, someone found him who was kind to him and seemed to actually care. She was a little edgy, but she talked to him and she listened. It was more than he had at the base - and the same was true for Uzi. But again, I could talk about how much I love NUZI for hours, right now I want to talk about how good N's heart is. He was a worker, once. A worker who did everything he could to be... useful, to Tessa's parents, but a good friend to Tessa. And he loved his friends. He has,,, so much love in his heart. He always has. And he gives it so readily, and it can hurt him, but he like - he gets better about it, I believe. He can guard himself better these days, but he just. He still cares. And he cares so much and he just. GOD. GOD I LOVE HIM AND I FEEL SO TERRIBLE FOR WHAT HE'S BEEN THROUGH. FUCKING HELL-
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sometimes you’re having a good day and you decide to read the love song of j. alfred prufrock and for dessert you read the hollow men and then you stop having a good day
#t.s. eliot#ts eliot if i ever meet you we will be having choice words.#ricky when i catch you#when i catch you ricky#you are crazy for writing that#you are insane for writing that#you need help#you need help you need an exorcism#why the fuck would you write that#why would you write that#you are sick and twisted and i love you and i hate you#english lit#swampy shitposts
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Jey Uso talks about the part Sami played in helping him transition to RAW
#sami zayn#jey uso#samijey#wwe#wweedit#jeysami#stuff i made#love/hate relationship........ i'm foaming at the mouth#NOT THE CANON COFFEE DATES#throwing myself into a well#wwe replaying their reunion segment over jey's voice talking about their dates was sick and twisted and i'm suing#CAUSE I KNOW YOU LOVE COFFEE#i feel sick to my stomach excuse me
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happy pride month to everyone except these two🏳️🌈
#twst#twisted wonderland#jamil viper#azul ashengrotto#jamiazu#azujami#azul x jamil#jamil x azul#ashenviper#jazul#heartscribbles#tender moments with the guy you so definitely hate#i really like jamils earring i think its a crime that he doesn't have a snake ear cuff#anyways i got sick of only posting sketches#I LOVE COLORS I LOVE COLORING FUCK LINES
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batjokes starting as like "i hate you. i wish you were dead but i cant kill you bc youre the only one who sees me and knows me. i want to skin you alive and pull out your fingernails and eat you. i want to laugh as you bleed to death in my arms and i want to run head first into the knife youre trying to stab me with" and ending up old married couple core is soooooo funny to me and also their dynamic completely and totally and you cannot change my mind
#i hate you so much ive fallen in love with you to honey have you seen my knitting needles i want to make you a scarf#heh... just a look into my sick and twisted mind...#bye#batjokes#batman#the batman#batman comics#dc joker#the joker#batman x joker#lego batman#lego batjokes#dc comics#batman 1989#the dark knight#have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight#i know what you are
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once again thinking abt cult leader geto and his hissy cat of a reader who scratches and bites him while he does nothing but coo over them on the daily. no one speak to me for ten business hours please
#going insane .#again#it’s just suchhhhhhhh a tasty dynamic i feel sick#reader who hates his guts who refuses his help who kicks and struggles when he tries to help them#but he’s soooooooooooooo patient.#his love for you is unkillable and that’s what you don’t realize#you could do whatever to him and he would still stay. with a smile on his face.#taking care of you until you give in#……….#this dynamic in particular is very twisted in my mind but at its core it’s just soooooooooooo . full of love#on both sides#bitter bitter aged love <3#have a little hurt/comfort anxiety drabble with this kind of reader and i reeeally wanna write it#i desire . a suffocating caretaker 🙂↕️#pls…#ari noises ✩
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post season 2 horny rant about elias don't click if it's going to upset you
MY HUSBAND. A MURDERER. who would have thought???
so it was him at the murderous end of that pipe. good for him
when i tell you i screamed when he walked into the room. i mean damn he can talk to me like that whenever he wants. HIS VOICE??? and that little evil speech at the beginning oooooh that's enough to kill me
maybe he didn't need to murder leitner as well but also who am i to stop him? like eurgh brotha eurgh but also ooooh baby heaven is a place on earth like that one remix that's on tiktok atm
AND because that wasn't enough, on top of being evil and fucked up he's also very powerful
excuse me but that's hot af. his place of power should be me.
(i have a thing for evil powerful men in case that wasn't clear)
#no spoilers beyond mag80 pls#the rant continues in the tags so feel free to not open them <3#you've been warned#no elias don't be a murderer you're to sexy haha#jk jk go on your murderous spree my love you deserve it!#bring me a souvenir!#listen my moral compass disappears when hot older men are involved#does he murder people in cold blood? yes#would he kiss my hair and hold me gently in his arms? also yes#who am i to keep him from achieving his sick and twisted little dreams?#he's a criminal that should be in prison and i fail to see how that's a problem#i love him sm#ik my brain is wired wrong and i'm delusional or whatever#something something my dad was absent idk#you should see my taste in women though it's exquisite#if you've come this far you can't be mad at me you knew what you were about to read when you clicked on the post so no hate allowed#tma#the magnus archives#tma spoilers#elias bouchard
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literally knew about blood and cheese and i hate team green to my dying breath but that was so fucked up im sick a bit fuck oh gods
#hotd spoilers#hotd#house of the dragon#sick and fucking twisted about a show i know the whole plot of#team black forever tho#sorry to myself rhaenicent will never be together#i hate you alicent (i love you so much)
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TERFs 🤝 Zionists
Using the exact same talking points and rhetoric.
#just saying#don't mind me but you Know I'm Right#like its the same picture#like both will ask for a blood test to see how much you're allowed to talk about your own idenity for one#they tend to use gaslighting when you notice historical events#and they're both holocaust deniers who believe no other group was effected by the holocaust#they both hate Jews and have a history of using conspiracy theories to justify their hate of other groups#both use the same ideologies of far right fascists#both love nazis so much that they copy their methods#both twist the truth to fit an agenda#both have the whole “every accusation is an admission” thing where they accuse others of being what they are#both are racist and racially profile and investigate people#both have a very binary view of human beings and think there's a secret “us vs them” battle going on between them and other groups of people#especially when said people finally get sick of being hate crimed and show agression after the initiated aggression#both accuse “the other side” (aka an entire group that doesn't want anything to do with them) of stealing their idenity and picking on them#they see people chanting “we hate nazis” and “we hate fascists” as a personal attack against them#Both want sympathy for acting aggressively to total strangers who are minding their own business#both claim to care for Jews (some even are Jewish) but use antisemetic rhetoric in their politics then cry when people call them out on it#Both don't understand the concept that being part of a marginalised group doesn't stop you from hating those of the same or other groups#Both are backed by far right christo-fascists (#And both claim that others are being hateful when said people simply say “you're taking what I said out of context” or twist their words#Aaaand they both use bot accounts online and would rather believe professional agistators rather than factual evidence#which includes surrounding themselves in echo chambers that claim really over the top conspiracy theories and history denialism-#- to justify their views#Also they end to be the same people sometimes
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biting. biting. biting.
#having thoughts and feelings about ‘relationships’ and companionship and partnership and whatnot.#aro thoughts.#<if that shows up in a tag and people see it ill kill someone#i just. im grateful to have escaped the confines of amatonormativity to the degree that i already have#but im exhausted by how much of a fucking Process it is#i have dear friends that i can have and will again fight terrible circumstances to be with.#i have two lovely roommates who consider me a life partner at this moment in time#when my friends say they might movei start planning how to visit them.#my friends mean so much to me!!! and i am so grateful for them!!!#and i am so MAD that its taken me so long to know that thats. fine. and allowed#i love every single one of my friends like the sun is going to burst out of my chest.#and i am also constantly trying to hide that#why!!!! from who!!!! my friends?????#they deserve to know!!!!#but somewhere along the line it got twisted into my brain that the way i love is shameful#maybe its the rest of the shame complex but whatever#and i. have fallen into structure traps before#because i dont know what the structure for a relationship like this looks like!!#i dont know how to express ‘i love you and i want to build a life with you and also crawl into your skin’ in like. a platonic way#and sometimes i express that and end up in a romantic relationship which fails . because it is a structure that does not fit the shape of#my love#i also! get scared!! when expressing how big my love is!!! i worry that someone will try and fit me into that structure again!!#i dont fucking WANT that structure! im sick of it i fucking despise it! it doesnt fit and i hate it#but when i say ‘i love everyone ive ever met like they are the morning sun’ i worry my friends hear it and think it is too intense a love#for the structure they have set up for ne#anyways. a lot of this is really difficult to put into words#because its FEELINGS#op
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when ruven went back to waterdeep he kept a correspondence with gortash that was so homoerotically charged in a also rival way that if they were real people they would be a case of historians calling them very good acquaintances while truth was that they fucked nasty
#rena.txt#ruven sent the first letter and gortash replied along the lines of 'oh so i'm on your mind you freak?' (derogatory. carnal. lustful)#i actually love this little piece of lore i love making these two hate each other in a way that they want to fuck each other so bad#the day i squeezed ratash into the sick and twisted vioven lore was my brighest day i can make them more toxic more stupid more evil#i could ramble about them all for hours sorry i cut short this post too ksjfskfk
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i dont like mekakucity talkers yuukei quartet chapter because it implies they didn't have a groupchat together which is a total lie and that takane would be scared of ghosts instead of haruka which is also a lie (bitch canonically scared of zombie movies before getting over it bc of dead bullet)
#i love getting all technical and letting usee a small glimpse into my sick twisted mind#i was re reading bc theres a bit i think is funny#when takane tells haruka to be quiet and he literally stops talking until he asks hey takane can i talk now#and takanes like THATS WHY YOUVE BEEN QUIET????#but erm. hehe#i hate the thing abt takane being easily scared. mca yuukei yesterday when kenjirou walks in in a costume#and she gets all jumpy. she would think its FUNNY#takane is evil. she finds joy and laughter in scary movies and ghost stories and making people piss their pants. i know more than you.#i think she's the kind to go crazy on halloween#also there are no october birthdays in kagepro. i will always be delusional abt halloween birthday takane. thank you#kagevinnie
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#ough wano goodbyes .. cute …. really glad yama momo n kin get to be official strawhats vivi style :]#kinda hoped yama was another jimbei situation but alas . oda hates me as per usual#wow that arc sparked joy#YAAYYYYYYY JIMBEI EYECATCHEWHY THE FUCK DOES LAW STILL HAVE ONE#WHAT#WHY#YOU DONT EVEN GO HERE ANYMORE#for a second i thought they changed usopp or choppers theme but no . got jumpscared#. i . guess . the wano trio werent the only ones who got their official strawhat membership#hes like . idk any other word to describe what he is to the strawhats#their cousin ? i am by no means saying that literally he just has the Vibes of a cousin#as in hes a guy who is just There#also it would piss him off so bad if some1 called him the strawhatcrew’s cousin meaning it’s perfect#do u get me#anyways my sister said buggy in the crossguild sounds like an isekai protagonist . that tracks#the cross guild things so fucking funny . what a set . odas sick n twisted mind he really just loves coming up w the most insane#combinations of his OCs huh#..mnot over the fact that they still gave waterloo a commercial break eyecatcher . why#that theme is seriously not what id expect them to give him it sounds more like something for cora which is . hilarious#clown theme be upon ye gayboy#solar-talks
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mom may possibly take technology away again so watch out for that.
#she can do that. itll suck so much but ill still be alive at the end#but if it is to roi then im scared. its all my fault because i talk too much.#im so sorry roi im the worst brother ever#its all moms fault#i cant stop thinking about stabbing a knife into her nefk#but i have to appeal to the sympathy still left in her so her twisted logic is softer#'im sad because i love you' 'im taking t away because its the problem of everything if i could disconnect everything i would'#'i dont believe in privacy. i wish you wouldnt always act like I'm invading.'#'i wish you wouldnt isolate yourselves so much.' 'when you're older and im dead you'll wish you talked to me more.'#'im already talking to your dad about taking away your stuff. even if you don't talk to me and hate me for it#you'll be alone and not talking to strangers on the internet. i cant believe you trust them more than your#own family.' years of us shutting you out huh. years of you judging us for everything we do huh. years of yelling huh. years of forcing cha#s to be read and scrolling scrolling through everything even when we sobbed and told you not to huh. wondering why we don't trust you.#every lie i say makes me sick to my stomach. i hate you mother#negative
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me when i find out that i actually have another assignment due tonight and i’ll have to wait to watch riverdale
#i hate homework#louis tomlinson#if you’re reading this watch riverdale season seven episode three minute seventeen because if i had to see it so do you#no one would ever believe me if i tried to explain what i saw#i love how commited the show is to being bad#sad girl core#it’s so sick and twisted that i have homework#when she’s a student
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As a certified Akechi lover i probably should have more love for Legato. But it is just not the same.
Probably the level of cruelty involved + the fact that Akechi's ultimately a kid with a vendetta & too much power whereas Legato is someone who had no will to live so he filled that hole with the will of someone actively pursuing genocide.
Fantastic antagonist! Compelling narrative purpose! I love Legato as a character. I still want to drop kick him anytime I see him.
#speculation nation#major antagonist and foil to the protagonist does not a favorite character make#idk ive just been wondering why legato doesnt hit for me like he does some other people#considering how much i love akechi#& i guess it boils down to the Reasons for what they do. ultimately goro's doing this out of a twisted sense for justice#and an extreme anger derived from his childhood that is frankly justified#whereas legato is just... that dude is Fucked Up. i mean akechi is too but MAN.#while akechi sacrificed himself in the end to save the protagonist. legato FORCED the protagonist to kill him#via threatening someone vash cared about#two very different forms of suicidal self sacrifice. one born from the wish to change things at the last moment#for the sake of the protagonist. & using that as an excuse to say goodbye to this wretched life#vs legato living his life for the purpose of serving knives & if his purpose is erased there is no point to living#& he has been Obsessed with vash. a hatred to rival his love for knives. so it's one final Fuck You to force vash (known pacifist) to kill#a death born out of the sick wish to corrupt him. to force vash to kill him instead of killing himself.#LIKE it really is so fascinating. i could study them both under microscopes forever#but it's that difference in motivations that has goro being My Son and legato being a character i want to throw off a building#no hate to legato lovers Genuinely. fascinating character. im just trying to sort out my feelings on him.#trigun spoilers/#suicide ment/
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