#i have dear friends that i can have and will again fight terrible circumstances to be with.

[throwaway-settings]

biting. biting. biting.

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 59 Pain Posting

Here we go, dear void. What fresh hell awaits our MC this week? We are back to setting up for the next big story moment, for one, so there's lots to speculate over before waiting to see how it all plays out. Oh, and suffering of course. There's plenty of that for almost everyone.

Bad TL of editor's notes and the colour page (second editor's note could technically be spoilers I guess):

First page: 慘状を前に… [sanjou wo maeni...] "Standing in front of a terrible scene..."] Last page: 死んだハズ… だが…?! [shinda hazu... daga...?!] "Supposedly dead... and yet...?!"

Colour Page Text (removed in EN version): 見据える過酷な旅路 [misueru kakoku na tabiji; "Sights fixed on the difficult journey ahead"]

Not much to say about the colour page except I like how moody it is (and big Makizumi guy is pretty cute with his pose). Guess I was wrong as usual about the Makizumi following Samura. Would be cool if they acted like personal bodyguards to Chihiro! They're the only ones who can really fight against Samura right now due to being presence-less ninjas after all. That's a really interesting conflict for them too- they clearly care for him a lot as the only person who treated them as actual people, and he definitely cares for them in return. His desire to save them during the Hishaku raid wasn't an act in the slightest! But more on that later.

Samura vs. Chihiro: Round 1

Stressed-out scribble-eye Chihiro returns... someone give him a hug.

Glad I didn't try to predict shit because I would have been totally flabbergasted by how this went. Way to make a (technical) liar out of me by saying Chihiro can't die since he's the MC, Hokazono-sensei.

Watching Chihiro break down in real time was so hard, man. This poor guy got his shit rocked by John yesterday at the Rakuzaichi, watched Tenri die a pointless death for the same reasons he's on his own journey, witnessed the horror of his dad's Civilian Murderton 3000 at 1% capacity, and now Samura, one of his heroes, betrayed them all with his dad's legacy. He even got one-tapped when he finally lost his cool for real.

Chihiro seriously can't handle all of this and it's so heartbreaking to see. This guy was not built for a bloody revenge mission at all. Now that he died, though... seriously, what's going to happen next?! Do we switch PoV to a different character while Chihiro's dealing with whatever's happening to him in what looks like a hospital morgue?

There are also some questions about the circumstances of his death and apparent revival- did he really die, or was that Kamunabi misinformation for/from the Hishaku mole? If he did, then how did he come back? And how does that affect his contract with Enten? There's absolutely nothing to go on right now so it's time to hunker down and not go crazy waiting for answers.

Apropos of nothing: I wonder if that wound that Samura gave him will scar. If so, it would mirror the one Uruha had on his shoulder:

RIP I'm still not over you, Uruha.

Probably just a nit-picky detail thing that won't amount to anything, but I wanted to post Uruha from when he was still alive so there you go. I'd be very surprised if Uruha came back somehow even though Chihiro apparently may have escaped death... It seems super-duper extra final that he's toast thanks to the duel he had with his master before getting done in. May you please reappear in flashbacks from time to time so I can get sad that you're no longer with us all over again.

One last thing before we move on to the Hishaku at Disused Building Full of Trash HQ:

SHIBAAAAAA SAVE YOUR NEPHEW AND HIS (BOY)FRIEND

Shiba showing up was in "delusions" territory for me but I'm so glad he's here!

Of course he's getting called out (kind of) for not telling Chihiro the truth- we saw him being one of Kunishige's top glazers back in chapter 1 despite how uncomfortable it made the dude to be praised. So we just have to sit back and wait for the secrets to come out once Chihiro's well enough to at least listen. And if Shiba can bring himself to talk. All the older guys in this manga are so guilty they'd put a Catholic to shame and Shiba already struggles with not being able to deter Chihiro from taking this bloody path in the first place. He almost failed to save a Rokuhira twice now too.

Samura's kindness towards Chihiro is so genuine even when he's trying to kill the kid. Don't ruin the image of Kunishige for him, Shiba- let him live and die in ignorant bliss.

"Your dad's legacy is the problem."

A man who shared Kunishige's vision has come to want to destroy everything about it and help expose the lies that made them into "heroes"... man, is there any non-Hishaku character in this manga that isn't encumbered by some huge amount of guilt?

Toxic Old Man Yaoi

Nice trashed warehouse HQ, bros. Definitely getting "we lost the war and suffered for it" vibes from these guys. I'm willing to stake 1 (ONE) slice of birthday cheesecake on everything I've talked about in the past regarding their origin- that the Seitei War was a civil war, and the Hishaku were on an imperialistic/dynastic side that lost. BECAUSE:

The Owl spread was AMAZEBALLS

MY NEMESIS

It's deliberate! This is the third time this damn vase has shown up, and in four panels this chapter no less! I need lovingly detailed close-ups of every flower to better ID them for the hanakotoba interpretations but I've only gotten a few so far. Most importantly, a matsumoto (elegance/nobility), sakurasou (deep desire), kiku (Imperial imagery), and what might be a poppy (for assured victory) but I'm not completely confident on the last one.

But anyway, yeah. Another yaoi bomb has hit the fandom.

Look at John talking like a five-year-old about unbreakable pinky promises lmao

Did it have to be pinky rings? What's next, they're connected by a red string? HOKAZONOOOOOOOOOOOO

They're in some kind of toxic stew of a relationship for sure with how things went down this chapter. Worst Jeanist helpfully gave us the details of the pact they made to get Samura's help and he's the only one who's concerned that the guy can actually make good on his "promise" to kill them all. Hope he's got some good anxiety management techniques because John won't say a damn thing about what his contingency plans are until they're enacted, apparently.

Can't run from the blind man.

How do you manoeuver against the guy who is set up to be the tactician of the war, though? His ability to super sense things and scout with that awesome-looking Owl power will definitely make it difficult to go against him despite being blind. And the EN TL says "control" here but the wording in JP was closer to "flushing out" like someone who pursues and exposes prey animals or drives cattle/sheep/etc. So Samura's definitely someone who's used to scouting and hunting, making him quite the formidable assassin.

Of course they're using each other though. And of course there's a separate Kamunabi mole that gave away the Rokuhira household's info. Guess we'll get into that shortly since I'm doing a dangerous thing and assuming that the Kamunabi have rounded up the rest of the Bearers at the HQ to chill with them and the Sword Master. Will they have enough manpower to stand against both the Hishaku and Samura by next week? Will Hakuri even wake up by then? Will Chihiro be able to fight at all? Probably since this is a high-octane action series! I'll just have to shut up and accept the condensed timeline sooner or later. (Seriously though, only a week?!)

"消耗 [used up/exhausted/depleted]" is one way to put it, I guess.

Wonder why they didn't kill Hakuri outright if he was such a problem. Do they have something planned for him later? It's not like John cares about sparing people's lives in the way Samura does, so wouldn't he have mentioned it would have been better to get rid of him for good? Eh, probably just a pointless nitpick. Hakuri's staying to the end of the series in all probability, so he just couldn't die here.

Needing to negotiate with other members-John's a first among equals like Beard Guy at the Kamunabi, maybe? Let's meet all the Hishaku members soon to find out!

Samura, Chihiro, Hiurhiko, and Worst Jeanist Musings

[slaps Samura] This bad boy can fit so much misguided grief in it.

This guy is already an incredibly compelling villain that I've done analysis on bit by bit as we got new info, and I gotta say that if I wasn't sold hard on Kyora for personal reasons then Samura would easily be #1 already. He's so complex and multi-layered! I think the detail that makes him great as a "villain" is that his convictions are colder than the surface of Pluto compared to Chihiro's (and most other character's) who burn bright and hot. Samura doesn't have any passion behind what he's doing, just an inflexible will to see a miserable but necessary job through to the end. If Chihiro's an unstable blazing young star, Samura is the black hole that remains after a supernova finally burns out.

The contrast during their first face-off is extremely telling too. Neither hesitate but Samura easily wins due to his composure alone, never mind the skill and experience gap. Poor Chihro's broken inside and out after finding out one of the people his dad trusted is helping his mortal enemies; the stoicism that John fractured the day before completely falls apart here to reveal Chihiro at his lowest.

"Better dead than a guilty sinner," is it? Too late for that!

And Samura's doing it all because he wants to spare him from becoming a tainted sinner. I can't hate Samura at all- he's doing this as an act of kindness with sympathetic motivations despite how far gone off the rails he is. This isn't a typical villain who just wants the world to burn after he wallowed in his misery for too long! I'm looking forward to seeing how Chihiro recovers and prepares to face him again. If he's going to be the one to do it, that is.

Look at this pathetic ugly frog guy.

Just putting this in my back pocket to pull out later if it manifests somehow. I don't have strong feelings one way or the other about Hiruhiko being the one to kill Samura right now, but I do hope he's not redeemed somehow to join the main cast. My feelings on why are extremely petty so I'll just leave it at "don't make him the bonkers former criminal ally guy that everyone sorta tolerates because he's earnest and useful". I will concede that he was almost cute this chapter, though. Worst Jeanist probably deserves a raise for putting up with him.

And now we know how John got his arm back too.

Another healing utility person like the Makizumi, huh? I wonder if we'll get more lore on if this is a field of study that anyone who can use sorcery can take advantage of (like tools), or if it's how their personal abilities manifest. Probably won't get answers unless we spend more time with the Makizumi so here's hoping!

WARNING: TERMINAL BRAIN ROT AHEAD

Not kidding in the slightest about the absolutely mind-numbingly stupid takes about this (very cool!) cover illustration. Skip this if I don't cut it from the final draft of the post unless you're into batshit ramblings from an insane fudanshi.

[feral screeching]

I've got really strong feelings about this cover. REALLY strong. Only the first of them is justified though. Kinda.

One, HIYUKI IT'S BEEN SO LONG I MISS YOU COME BACK TO THE MAIN STORY SOON! She looks so cool too! I love that she doesn't have to do blatantly feminine stuff ever- she's 100% badass and awesome every time she shows up. I'm waiting warmly for your return, my Spaghetti Queen! Use your frenemy rival status to help Chihiro overcome his issues this arc!

This cover and some of the community's reactions to it sparked a lot of thoughts that I've been working out for the past few days. Some about how leaks are being handled, some about how people are reacting to the characters and the composition, a lot about Hiyuki herself. The first easy enough: yes, this cover and colour page count as leaks. Don't spread that shit all over social media! Keep leaks a purely opt-in experience for everyone. The rest, well... probably going to have another massive essay since I love Hiyuki but I don't love why she's so refreshing, if that makes sense? And by God do I hate the way she gets treated by most of the fandom. But I'll work all that out over time.

Two, the Hiyuki-Chihiro design parallels are getting to me in a bad way. Like "tinfoil hat and red string on a tack board" levels of baseless speculation. But I think it's extremely deliberate on the author's part to keep using the same black-with-a-splash-of-red-up-top colour palette for them now that they even have matching undone bandages in this art for some reason. Why not have those two do their own thing like Hakuri got to? He actually kind of sticks out as if no one told him to dress all in black for this photo shoot!

I don't want to let my HakuHiro shipper bias get the better of me here though, so I'll just keep the crazy to myself until we learn more and/or I finish getting the Hiyuki thoughts in order.

Three, HEROINE HAKURI PROPAGANDA!

I'm being completely serious here! I've been banging pots and pans while screaming from the rooftops (internally) about how Hakuri is in the traditional heroine role since I wrote that HakuHiro essay around Chapter 38! He spares Hiyuki from having to balance things out by providing a soft touch because that's his job. And he's so good at it!

Seriously look at his pose! He's leaning in to Chihiro and doing a cute little gesture with his hands, looking so soft while Chihiro and Hiyuki are the baddest motherfuckers to ever exist! Hokazono-sensei was extremely serious when he said he intended for Hakuri to add cuteness. He's so cute! CUTE! But it's not like he's a total uwu marshmallow either- he's still got a really cool outfit on that highlights his boyish charm. He's just the "soft" one to Chihiro's cool and Hiyuki's fierce.

I know I'm a delusional lunatic for going nuts over this. And I hope it's clear that I'm not taking this as a sign that Hakuri's going to be an actual love interest. I'm not that far gone. I'm just always appreciating that Hakuri and Hiyuki essentially swapped roles in a traditional shounen trio in terms of what kind of balance they bring to the dynamic. I think it's an underrated aspect of Kagurabachi's appeal and I wish more shounen did this! Hokazono-sensei seems to love cute guys and cool women and I am 100% behind him if that's the case.

Rough entry but I'm not having a good time lately. Do your best to survive the rest of the year, kind void. We'll make it through for the sake of finding out how the Kagurabachi cast suffers from week to week if nothing else. Give yourself a little treat today, okay?

[fazfacts]

HOT DAGA SENTENCE STARTERS

it's actually criminal that nobody has done this before. feel free to change as needed!

❝ If you don't like it, you can kiss my buns. ❞

❝ Oh, he looks all pissed off 'cause his hat's still gone. ❞

❝ Good, I'm glad he's pissed. ❞

❝ I hope he crashes into that wall. ❞

❝ Oh shit, he crashed! ❞

❝ Wow! They look like a happy couple. ❞

❝ She's not happy with his driving, I'll tell you that. ❞

❝ Oh, he's on fire, he looks like he's hurting. ❞

❝ What a horrible occurrence that just happened! ❞

❝ What the fuck? ❞

❝ He's gonna come back like Michael Myers. ❞

❝ I can't really tell what it is, but it went by real quick. ❞

❝ Why did you run from me? ❞

❝ I...I didn't know how to tell you, but...we have a son now. ❞

❝ Wait -- I'm so confused... ❞

❝ Hello, [name]. I'm your father, [name]. ❞

❝ Why did you try to shoot me and leave me for dead? ❞

❝ That wasn't me. ❞

❝ It's me, [name], your evil twin sister. ❞

❝ I won't have you two together. You know I love [name]. ❞

❝ Now it's time to die. Mount your crab. ❞

❝ [Name], step aside! ❞

❝ Do you remember where we were? ❞

❝ Who are you? ❞

❝ Nice to meet you. I love you. ❞

❝ Promise you'll never shoot me, [name]. ❞

❝ Let's cover ourselves in mustard and get craaazy! ❞

❝ I hope you never get eaten on the Fourth of July like my parents. ❞

❝ Your words are making me happy, so I am smiling. ❞

❝ Always love each other, no matter where your paths take you. ❞

❝ We are siblings, but also best friends. ❞

❝ Why would we ever fight? ❞

❝ I have seen it in my special dreams. ❞

❝ Let's go eat the rest of Amelia Earheart for dinner. ❞

❝ My funding...my precious funding... ❞

❝ It's all over now. I suppose I'll let myself rot. ❞

❝ I'm in urgent need of your services. ❞

❝ What a shame...I was so close. ❞

❝ That's a good hashtag. ❞

❝ Like my dear old dad used to say, there's no free condiments in life. ❞

❝ Most condiments are free, actually. ❞

❝ How dare you! ❞

❝ Please, respect my father. May he rest in peace. ❞

❝ This talk of your father seems very shoehorned into this conversation. ❞

❝ I'm your son! From the future! ❞

❝ Hoooly shiiit. ❞

❝ Why did you do it, [name]? Why'd you do any of this? ❞

❝ Because, [name], I'm straight-up evil. ❞

❝ That's bad for the fabric of reality and space-time, I think. ❞

❝ Okay, it's technically not murder or anything. ❞

❝ This is what you get. This is the law of the wild. ❞

❝ I can't bear to watch this inevitable carnage. ❞

❝ I just want a picture of this moment. ❞

❝ I need your help to avenge my death. ❞

❝ We're a family again! A real family! ❞

❝ That's a terrible name. ❞

❝ I'm pretty sure this is a trap... ❞

❝ A crow ate one of my eyes at the bank last Labor Day, by the way. That's why I have an eyepatch now. ❞

❝ Did it ever occur to you, [name], that I loved you and your mustache? Well, I don't anymore, and I see you've shaved your mustache, you idiot. ❞

❝ The day we broke up was the best day of my life. ❞

❝ I saw him do a magic trick once where he sat on his own lap. ❞

❝ I'm suddenly afraid my wife will leave me for him, but he's a nice guy, so that's okay. ❞

❝ Wait a minute, you weren't invited! ❞

❝ It's me, [name], and I'd like to welcome you to Hell. Time to die! ❞

❝ I am displeased! But that does sound narratively rich. ❞

❝ Will you press pause on your shit for five minutes? ❞

❝ I now have to imagine a thing I don't want to imagine, under any circumstance? ❞

❝ Are you proud of yourself? ❞

❝ But I cannot attempt to process that at the moment, for the fear of the emotional toll it would take on me. ❞

❝ How'd we survive? ❞

❝ Ooh, what a plot! ❞

❝ We could go back in time to stop it all. ❞

❝ No need to explain that, we'll remember it always. ❞

❝ Thank you for your service. ❞

❝ Enough talky-time, more spacey-time, idiots. ❞

❝ We threw them into a volcano. They're gone. ❞

❝ I don't negotiate with assholes. ❞

❝ I can't believe it -- I'm alive! ❞

❝ Oh, no, no, hey, c'mon. Nothin' to worry about here. ❞

❝ That doesn't make any sense. ❞

❝ My parents were very juicy and I am, too. ❞

❝ You...don't seem trustworthy. ❞

❝ Oh, I'm plenty trustworthy. ❞

❝ So what's your deal again? ❞

❝ Hm. Makes sense if you actually track the story, probably. ❞

❝ I wonder if Earth's tasty. ❞

❝ I'm not one for decision-making. ❞

❝ I'm both the mayor and the sheriff. ❞

❝ Don't worry, you will soon go to jail. ❞

❝ I want to get perfectly sane, haha. ❞

❝ You're getting more and more sane by the day! ❞

❝ Everyone's dying and the world is basically over. ❞

❝ Sometimes your life don't go exactly as you planned. ❞

❝ The fact that I doubted myself for even a split second is some military-grade bullshit. ❞

❝ It's me, [name], and I'm pissed. ❞

❝ I can't die, I'm beloved! ❞

❝ Question: what the hell's going on? ❞

❝ If you do anything dumb, I will kill you with my hat. ❞

❝ You didn't need to do that, by the way. That's cruel. You understand that? ❞

❝ I didn't ask to exist. In fact, I was very content not being. ❞

❝ Look, I'm sorry about doing you dirty. ❞

❝ We've got some things to discuss, you and me. ❞

❝ Ohhh, okay. We're both dead, then. This is for sure a place where we're both dead. ❞

❝ My last memory was me putting a goldfish in my mouth to make my children laugh. Then I choked to death. ❞

❝ Play shitty games, win shitty prizes, [name]. ❞

❝ I was so consumed with hate and anger that I lost sight of who I was. ❞

❝ Are you just, like, checked out of this conversation now? ❞

❝ I'm just a guy in a void. ❞

❝ I got murked and it chilled me out. ❞

❝ That's my catchphrase, now that I'm fun. ❞

❝ Tell you what, I hate this planet. ❞

❝ There's a small part of my funky, no-good heart that's like, "hell yeah." ❞

❝ Hey, you want some money? It's got my face on it. ❞

❝ The one thing I've always said is, "you can definitely trust someone who repeatedly insists that you can trust them," you idiot. ❞

❝ I'm the queen of deception and straight-up dirty tricks. ❞

❝ Game recognize game, however inferior. ❞

❝ I've just had a tremendously confusing dream. ❞

❝ I'm not in the habit of taking drinks from strangers. ❞

❝ But I'm beloved... ❞

❝ I. Don't. Caaare. ❞

❝ It's almost Friday, the day for kissing! ❞

❝ If you value your life, you might consider staying out of mine. ❞

❝ Is there any way we can put this all behind us? ❞

❝ Are you fucking kidding me? You shouldn't have asked that question. ❞

❝ Oh, thank God. I was about to flip my shit. ❞

❝ Full disclosure, no offense: you seem nuts. ❞

❝ My mind is so clever, some describe me as a God. ❞

❝ My name is [name], and I'm here to say: you'll soon straight-up die today. ❞

❝ I'm perfectly sane, so now it's time to play my funny little game. ❞

❝ Where'd you go to college? Detective school? ❞

❝ I'm gonna save your life for my own benefit. ❞

❝ I have no beef with you. You're clearly dealing with some stuff. ❞

❝ Don't worry, I will murder you. ❞

❝ I feel like you're not being receptive to literally any of my shit. ❞

❝ I was hypnotized for many, many years and frankly, I'm not too happy about it. ❞

❝ Well, you can't blame me for that. I'm dead. ❞

❝ I think you could maybe choose not to be complicit in the destruction of the universe. ❞

❝ Jesus Christ, take a breath. ❞

❝ If you don't stop this instant, I'm gonna hug you. ❞

❝ I feel like a happy sunshine person who always wins. ❞

❝ I feel as critically-acclaimed as I always do! ❞

❝ You should know by now, nothing exciting ever happens around here. ❞

❝ Hey, you ever think about what happens after we die? ❞

❝ Sorry for my dad being a dick all the time...and for following his orders without question. ❞

❝ I hate you and I'm glad you look all fucked-up! ❞

❝ Namaste or whatever. ❞

❝ I just wanna chill 'til I'm dead. ❞

❝ Whoa, okay. I think I'm gonna die. ❞

❝ Those were the bad guys! Why were you, like, chilling with them? ❞

❝ Man, you really pooped the bed on this one. ❞

❝ Okay, your tone is appropriate and I apologize. ❞

❝ I will miss you, [name], the biggest baller of them all. ❞

❝ I'd actually be double-dead, which is the worst kind of dead. ❞

❝ What can one do in the face of such monumental loss but breathe a weary sigh, for the world is a little quieter now. ❞

❝ Sometimes your death don't go exactly how you planned. ❞

❝ I tried the best I can, but I ain't got the stuff. ❞

❝ Frankly, life's been pretty dope. ❞

❝ I know life's been crazy, but believe me, you'll be fine without me here. ❞

❝ There's really no need to cry. ❞

❝ I know things seem kind of shitty and that the odds aren't looking pretty, but what's the point of quitting now? ❞

❝ I won't be here to see it, but you bet your ass that I believe that you'll still save the day somehow. ❞

❝ If I had a fuckin' bucket, then I got a hunch I'd kick it. ❞

❝ Sorry for the cursing, but I'm feeling worse and worse. ❞

❝ I don't wanna die, but I'm probably gonna die. ❞

❝ I'm dying now, just so we're clear. ❞

❝ Holy shit, this is it, I'm gonna die. ❞

❝ I'll see you later, pals, I'm outta here. ❞

[is-not-a-bell]

"Wulf you got him!" Was that Johnny? "Babypop! can you hear me?" And Ember? He felt a hand brush away his hair out of his face. "Dear ancients he looks terrible!" Kitty was here too.

"Get the kid to Frostbite in the Far Frozen. We'll keep the living off your back." He could hear the revving of a motorcycle before it took off. Soon after Danny passed out clinging to Wulf.

===

Danny woke up dazed in a familiar vat only to fall asleep moments later. This repeated several times even after he was moved to a normal bed. When Danny was finally coherent enough to understand, Frostbite explained to him. “The ritual performed nearly drained you completely of ectoplasm. You were dangerously close to fading.” His eyes were sad and angry. “You’re still dangerously low on ectoplasm. You need to stay in the infinite realms as the ritual distributed your core’s ability to produce ectoplasm.”

On top of that he was being hunted by three power magic users and the world’s greatest detective-his father-. No doubt they would dig up everything they could from Amity park to try and find him. To prevent this Danny had to severely limit his contact to the living world and move to another haunt as Wulf could be tracked fairly easily by magic.

===

Fright Knight was surprised by the urgent message he received. Daniel Phantom had been nearly killed during an exorcism, by his birth father no less. They boy needed sanctuary in the realms, and they were asking him. It wasn't completely unbelievable, he was once a protector spirit, one who fought against Pariah's rule from the moment it started. Until the tyrant twisted him into something else.

-Ghosts still feared him. Only the blob ghosts seemed to comfortable around him.-

Fright Knight accepted anyway, his core buzzed at the thought of protecting the young ghost. He quickly arrived at the Far Frozen, greeted by Frostbite. "How is the ghostling?" He asked while being led to the boy. "He has woken up, but he is still dangerously weak." "I see, thank you for trusting me with the boy." Frostbite smiled"Unlike so many I remember your great deeds. I have explained you're circumstances to the great one." The boy was tired and sluggish. He only managed a greeting. Frostbite carried him to Fright Night's horse handing Phantom over to him. "Rest well great one and have a healthy recovery."

To say the beginning was bumpy and awkward was an understatement. Most of that time was filled with long silences, avoiding eye contact, and delicately phrased statements and questions. As Danny got used to the lack of a day and night cycle and Fright Knight's seemingly bizarre caring treatment of him, they fell into a bit of a routine.

Danny would wake up, take Frostbite supplied supplements with human food, wander around the castle either while Fright Knight followed or run into the ghost, inevitably stop to play or cuddle with a hoard of blob ghosts, eventually Fright Knight would guide him to a library or some lounge to rest, sometimes he would read to Danny, others times he would do something on his own(Clockwork was nice enough to send him a whole lot of space and ghost themed legos), later he would get letters from Jazz and his friends updating him on the situation, a good amount ghosts starting picking fights with the league to keep them too busy to search for him, by then Danny would fall back to sleep.

The first break in this routine was when it was just starting out. They got a visitor. Fright Knight found him lurking right outside the haunt. "Skulker, what is your business here?" He spoke in a firm voice. "I know the whelp in here, let me in." Skulker demanded. "You will not see him, leave now." When he was about to protest, he continued. "I may not be under Pariah's control, but I still possess the same powers." He loomed over Skulker. "The boy is under my protection. If I find you here again I will not be as tolerant."

When Skulker was far out of his sight, he turned to see Danny watching. "Phantom, it is not safe to be outside of the keep while you're so exhausted. Let me return you to the your quarters." The boy's nearly surprised expression faded away as the two went back inside.

From that day on though Danny seemed to open up to the ghost a little more.

Halloween prompt year 2 day 13

"Please stop..." the teen pleaded and Bruce felt his heart clench. He was strapped down to a metal table like a frog being readied for dissection and it took everything Bruce had to not rush over and free him.

The chanting started up again and the boy started screaming, from pain or rage he wasn't sure. All he knew was that the fluids leaking from his and Salinas sons mouth and eyes looked far too similar to the Lazarus waters. The exorcism continued, with Constantine, Zatanna, and Raven all doing everything they could to back up the Exorcist as Danny convulsed on the table, more and more of the odd green goo oozing from his body. It was coming out of his ears and nose now, as well as his pores, giving the sweat on his body a sickly green sheen.

"This is number three!" The exorcist shouted, holding his object of power into the air, "I command you to go back to the damned!" The object was lowered with the intention of touching the boys forehead. The boy desperately tilted his head in an vain attempt to escape from it and Batman forced himself to clench his fists to keep himself from rushing over and helping his son. He hadn't even known Danny existed, having had another son hidden from him by a woman he had loved. He understands why Salina had did it. She must have been early on in the pregnancy with him when Jason had been killed.

She must have thought Bruce couldn't protect her or thier son.

She was right.

But Bruce was here now and he wanted his son to be free of whatever this 'Pit demon' wanted from him. "John. How much longer-"

*Booom*

His question was cut short by an explosion rocking the entirety of the building, forcing him and John to rush to the force of the blast and leave the other behind to complete the ritual

This turned out to be a mistake as it was just a diversion.

Bruce glared at the beast. The werewolf esqe being was holding his sons unconscious form in his arms. Its claws were sharp, long and thin like someone had attached a senbon to the end of each of the creatures fingers. Its teeth weren't much better, all long and needle sharp like something out of a nightmare. The beast, even from this distance, kept is gaze locked onto his own as it slowly backed away into the portal behind it, its clothes and black fur flowing unnaturally with its movements. In moments both the creature and the portal were gone.

So that was a pit demon.

Regardless, Bruce approached the place the portal had been. He would get his son back.

He swore it.

[thefreakandthehair]

lex. 💫 she/her. bisexual disaster. new englander. fanfic writer. lover of sports aus. 🍉 vetted masterlists of gaza fundrasiers 🍉

nav. ⚡️ ao3. / wips / ficlets / podfics / writing ramblings / writing inspo tag / lex lore etc. / so much (for) stardust series / surprise wedding challenge fics

steddie big bang '24 co-mod || seasonal challenges admin || steddie-week co-mod 🎃 spicy six -ber month challenge: now open! ❄️

stranger things big bang, vol. 2:

over the hills and far away. 84.2k (17/17 chapters)

Shortly after defeating Vecna, Eddie and Steve come together only to fall apart. As years pass, Eddie builds a life for himself in Indianapolis while Steve feels the crushing weight of the life he knows he isn't living. At the turn of the ‘90s, Robin and Steve make a spontaneous decision which turns things upside down for both men, forcing them to confront some old demons. Steve and Eddie are then faced with the idea that maybe, just maybe, there’s a place for them in each other’s lives after all.

steddie big bang '23:

rounding third, sliding home. 68k. (12/12 chapters)

Professional Baseball Shortstop Steve Harrington injures his UCL and returns home to Indiana for treatment. Cue massage therapist Eddie Munson whose tender, practiced touch heals much more than Steve's elbow.

most recent:

slipped through these ribs of mine. 23.3k. (5/5 chapters)

Part-time student, part-time weed dealer Eddie Munson befriends star student-athlete Steve Harrington and learns a lot more than he'd wanted about sports and more than he'd expected about sex toys.

all completed fics below cut, oldest to newest:

Livin' On A Prayer: 17.9k (9/9 chapters)

Steve Harrington drags Eddie Munson out of Hell. They become roommates, close friends, and both men are convinced that's all it is.

And if they sometimes encroach on one another's personal space, sometimes share a bed, and stare at each like the other hung the moon and stars, well, that's no one's business but their own.

All's Well That Ends Better: 1.9k (2/?)

Vecna dies, but Steve nearly goes with him. An AU where Eddie drags Steve out of Hell.

⬆️ THIS FIC WILL BE HEAVILY EDITED AND RETURNED TO AT SOME POINT. It was supposed to be a oneshot and now I have like, 8 chapters outlined so. Don’t get terribly attached to this first draft.

It Has Been A Beautiful Fight. (It Still Is.) 3.1k (oneshot)

Steve wasn’t sure how the fuck he ended up at The Hideout on a Tuesday night. Okay, that wasn’t true— Eddie invited him, he was loath to admit that he was still harboring an unexpected and ill-fated crush, and he’d agreed to go before his brain could catch up with his mouth. That's how he ended up at The Hideout on a Tuesday night.

Hush When No One Is Around, My Dear. 1.1k (oneshot)

Eddie Munson couldn’t help but realize the irony that he was currently hiding in a literal closet with Steve in Steve’s house. His boyfriend’s chest was pressed against his back in the too-tight quarters and under any other circumstances, Eddie’s mind would go elsewhere– much further south, really– but the only thought at present was how long they could realistically hide from five bewildered teenagers.

The Cosmos Are Within Us. 1.7k. (oneshot)

"Stevie, you saved the world and all of our friends, like, four different times. You don’t have to be doing something all the fucking time. You can just sit. It’s safe to relax. It’s okay to just exist, y’know that, right?" Eddie said, holding Steve’s face in both hands as if to force his words into the other man’s mind by osmosis. Maybe it worked, because something in Steve’s brain re-wired itself in that moment, replacing his father’s criticisms with his boyfriend’s anti-establishment sentiments.

A Special Frequency. 1.7k (oneshot)

Eddie Munson lives, and graduates. Steve Harrington, of course, has to help him celebrate.

I Made This Mess With Love. 3.9k (oneshot)

“If you so much as fucking look at him again, I will hunt you to the ends of the earth like the dog you are and I will put you down.” He grits out through his teeth, watching as the other man’s eyes grow large. Steve drinks in the terror behind them and imagines how unhinged he must look to the others. He briefly considers not dropping his arm when the other man starts to sputter and choke.

Eddie’s voice rings out somewhere near him. “Jesus H. Christ, what the fuck is going on?!”

You're My Sunshine (And I Want You To Know). 2.1k. (oneshot)

Eddie informs Steve that he didn't get to keep his comic book collection when he was moved to Wayne's custody. Steve tries to right that wrong and gets something unexpected in return.

I Got You. 1.1k. (oneshot)

“Stevie, can you hear me in there?” Eddie asks, his head resting back against the door. He opts to pull both knees back up, splaying out a bit to either side as he wraps his arms around them.

Silence and more whooshing of the water is the only response Eddie gets. He sighs and drops his head to stare down at the carpet beneath him. It breaks his heart, seeing Steve hurt like this.

Isn't It Obvious? 2.2k. (2/2 chapters)

Eddie falls asleep on Steve and Robin has some questions.

Requiem for a Nightmare. 2.2k. (oneshot)

For a Halloween Fic Challenge!

Steve dreams of the Upside Down long after it's been closed-- particularly as it relates to Eddie. (Perhaps it's not so closed after all.)

Simple Twist of Fate. 3.3k. (oneshot)

“Please remind me, who thought this was a good fucking idea again?” Eddie’s voice rings out into the kitchen where he, Steve, Robin, and Nancy are barricaded, barely audible over the chaos in Steve’s living room. Steve runs a hand down his face before returning it to match his other hand on his hips. The Mom Pose, as it’s been coined.

“To be fair, I never said it was a good idea. I was manipulated and tricked, okay? Have you met Dustin?”

And If I Get Burned, At Least We Were Electrified. 9.2k. (oneshot)

“Aha! This’ll sell it a little better. A staple in your wardrobe, right?” Eddie blinks and Steve is holding Eddie’s black bandana.

Yep, gonna die tonight. This is how I’m gonna die. Way better than the bats, I’ll give you that, God, he thinks. Aloud, he just swallows thickly and laughs. “You pay attention, Harrington!”

or, Eddie Munson convinces Steve Harrington to dress as each other for his Halloween party.

Counting Stars (When I Look In Your Eyes). 6.3k. (oneshot)

Steve’s shivering. Or maybe he’s trembling, he truthfully isn’t entirely sure himself, but the bag in his hands as they sit on the hood of Eddie’s van for a better view is rustling from the movement. He tries not to consider Eddie reacting poorly, thinking that he’s trying to take this memory he’d shared with him weeks ago and make it their own because he’s not. He wants Eddie to have something tangible of a memory he otherwise can’t hold, that’s all.

He’s also in love with Eddie, but that’s a separate thought.

It’s A Battlecry, It’s A Symphony: 2.2k. (oneshot)

A modern college!AU in which— oh my God, they're roommates!

Over The Hills And Far Away. 84.2k (17/17chapters)

Shortly after defeating Vecna, Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington have come together only to fall apart. Eddie, chasing freedom and fleeing a broken heart, follows the winds to a tattoo apprenticeship in Chicago and later opens his own shop in Indianapolis. Steve, on the other hand, stays put in Hawkins where he can feel his bones creaking under the weight of his regrets and the life he isn’t living. At the turn of the ‘90s, Robin and Steve take a trip down to Indianapolis where a spontaneous decision turns things upside down for both men, forcing them to confront some old demons. Steve and Eddie are then faced with the idea that maybe, just maybe, there’s a place for them in each other’s lives after all.

-> outtake: why are you tattooing an orange? (2.2k, oneshot) And I'd Drive All Night Just To Get Back Home, 4.1k (oneshot)

It’s surprising, Eddie thinks as he silently drops his hands into Steve’s, just how easy this is— how simple it could be if he wasn’t so terrified of his decidedly Not Platonic feelings for the man kneeling in front of him, holding his hands and gently rubbing his thumbs across Eddie’s knuckles. Steve’s hands are warm if just a little calloused where scar tissue has developed, and they stabilize Eddie enough to open his eyes. Christ, he’s so pretty.

Meeting You Was Coming Home. 7.8k (oneshot)

The one in which Steve finds, loses, and somehow finds again the love of his life.

Stars And Satellites (Will Always Bring Me Home). 1.5k. (oneshot)

Eddie hates his birthday and Steve gives him a reason not to.

what you feel is what you are (and what you are is beautiful). 5.3k. (oneshot)

Steve Harrington finally enjoys a birthday and hopes for a little more than a fun night of drinking games with his friends.

Gilded Tombs Do Enfold. 1.3k. (oneshot)

Eddie realizes life is precious, all the way down to the lives of worms.

One Ring To Rule Them All. 2.5k. (oneshot)

Steve wears Eddie's rings while he recovers and has some realizations.

Scar-Crossed Lovers. 3.5k (oneshot)

Eddie's van is left to rot in the woods and Eddie finds himself bound to it. As years pass, Steve never stops visiting.

Make No Plans And None Can Be Broken. 6.8k. (oneshot)

5 Times Steve Harrington Makes No Plans + One Time He Does.

the answers are all inside of this. (15.2k. 3/3 chapters)

Eddie Munson shirks convention to become a wildlife rehabilitation expert. When Steve Harrington takes his kindergarten class on a field trip to the Indiana Wildlife Conservatory, he gets a little more than just a lesson on bats and fingerpainting.

why are you tattooing an orange? (2.2k, oneshot)

The origin story of Steve's notes in Over The Hills and Far Away and Eddie's first tattoo machine.

ice is made to melt (so is my heart). (1.5k. oneshot)

Eddie Munson loves hockey, and Steve Harrington loves Eddie Munson.

you filling my cup, the sun coming up. (1.8k. oneshot)

Eddie sets off the fire alarm in his new apartment building and earns more than just a lesson on opening a window to smoke.

and icarus' life, it has only just begun. (3.3k. 1/2 chapters)

Eddie gets stood up and he's going to be grateful for it for the rest of his life. Eventually.

no better version I could pretend to be tonight. (3.4k. oneshot)

Eddie can't sleep after the events in the Upside Down. Steve happens to have a solution.

never been afraid of any deviation. (1.4k. oneshot)

In 1985, Eddie finds Steve in a high school bathroom.

what's mine is yours (to leave or take). (8.2k. oneshot)

Eddie's an amateur baker who desperately needs a healthy dose of hope. He finds it in the bottom of a pie dish and the hands of Steve Harrington.

been on fire, dreaming of you. 8.6k. (oneshot)

Eddie's been writing love letters he never intends to send. When he's interrupted by Steve for an impromptu fake date, he receives much more than the promised promotional free dessert.

cassette tapes and ticket stubs. 5.2k. (oneshot)

Eddie and Steve are set up on blind dates by Robin and Chrissy. They both get stood up. Or, do they?

butter, sugar, and northern mockingbirds. 17.1k. (3/3 chapters)

Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, and Eddie Munson open Steve's secret dream bakery after surviving the Vecnapocalypse. Eddie can't seem to stop getting flour in his hair, Steve can't stop touching him, and Robin might lose her mind.

blue hour. 3.3k. (oneshot)

Eddie Munson smokes and thinks beneath the light of the chilly moon, the heat of Steve's thigh pressed comfortably against his own.

sugar, we’re goin’ down. 22.2k. (5/5 chapters)

Eddie Munson lets Steve Harrington take care of him in ways he'd never dared to imagine.

goin’ to california. 18k. (3/3 chapters)

When Robin ends up stuck with summer classes her first year at college, Steve's road trip plans look dead in the water. Enter Eddie Munson, who loves a good road trip.

just an only child of the universe. 3.7k. (oneshot)

Steve Harrington devotes his life to understanding the inexplicable mysteries of the universe around them, including his feelings for Eddie Munson.

slipped through these ribs of mine. 23.3k. (5/5 chapters)

Part-time student, part-time weed dealer Eddie Munson befriends star student-athlete Steve Harrington and learns a lot more than he'd wanted about sports and more than he'd expected about sex toys.

[skriveting]

A bunch of different writing prompts MASTERLIST #2

updated 13.11.22

MASTERLIST #1 HERE

"This isn't going anywhere."

"This is making me very uncomfortable." "Good, I'm glad."

"Move along, move along, nothing to see here!"

"Where have you been?"

"My will to live is dwindling at an alarming rate."

"Don't get confused, you are disposable."

"Do you maybe wanna be friends?" "Go away!"

"Yeah, that tracks."

"A friend of theirs is no friend of mine."

"Why did you cut it like that?"

"Oh, dear."

"Could you put the knife down while you're talking, please?"

"Okay, I get it now." "You do?" "Yeah!" "Are you sure?" "No."

"All right, now let's get back to me yelling!"

"Let's eat a kiwi or two and calm down." "You know I don't condone cannibalism." "No, no, that's not what I meant-"

"How is it only Wednesday..." "It's Monday." "NO!!!!"

"Great, you again."

"You mean to tell me she hasn't read 1984?!" "Michael, she's 4." "And??"

"Hm. You know, I didn't really care to know that."

"It's getting worse, isn't it?" "It's nothing, don't worry about it."

"What's a few threats between friends?" "Exactly."

"I guess when you put it like that..."

"You couldn't be more wrong if you tried."

"I wish I could go on just one date where I didn't have to use the Heimlich maneuver." "Dude, what goes on on your dates?" "I wish I knew!"

"Keep up, please." "I'm trying!"

"What did you think?" "It was not good." "Dad!"

"Well I've heard that I can be an asshole, but I don't think it'll be a major problem." "I beg to differ."

"How was I supposed to know that?" "Well, if you'd read the brief I sent you, you would have!" "It was 600 pages!!"

"Put that down, that's disgusting."

"I'll tell you, that threw me for quite a loop!" "Stop talking like that."

"I've waited a long time for this." "I'm sorry, who are you?"

"So what's your plan, talking me to death? Because if so, it's working."

"Let's go, I don't have all day."

"I thought this would be difficult. But, looking at you now..."

"Have you always been this much of an asshole?"

"The least you could do is put up a fight worth my time."

"Why are we doing this?" "You can't be serious."

"Stop wasting time."

"Pity. I'd actually been looking forward to this."

"And you wonder why I hate you."

"Don't push your luck."

"I came alone."

"How you doing, champ?" "Don't call me that."

"I'll let you know."

"How are you still alive?!" "That's a long story."

"A hello would've been nice."

"I'm out of here."

"Get me out of this wretched torture device!" "Get a hold of yourself, it's just a turtleneck sweater-" "I am suffocating!!"

"Yes, it's terrible, and yes, I love it."

"Would you let go already?!"

"Riddle me this: what the heck is going on?!"

"You'd think I'd know better by now."

"I'm feeling pretty vulnerable right now." "Sick, dude."

"Some things never change."

"I'd like for us all to acknowledge that this was a huge mistake."

"So, what do you think?" "Hm. Not enough violence."

"If everyone could just calm down for a second, that'd be great."

"What more do I have to do before you realize that you can trust me?"

"I'm not into that sort of stuff."

"This is actually a pretty common side-effect." "Somehow I doubt that."

"Ever since the day I met you I feel the light inside me dwindle a little more with each passing day."

"You aren't meant to live like this." "Says who?"

"I've had a really hard time trying to work through this."

"What are you doing here? It's four in the morning!"

"Some days I really love my job. This is not one of those days."

"Are you sure about this?" "As sure as I can be, given the circumstances."

"I've given them enough chances. I'm not letting myself be put through that again."

"You got the right answer, but I have no idea how." "Neither do I, to be honest."

"How did you survive that??"

"There's just something about it that bugs me, but I can't put my finger on it..."

"Take that thing off."

"You don't have to tell me twice."

"Did you seriously think that would work?"

"Don't bother me."

"That's all right, I was leaving anyway."

"Well, you know..." "No, I don't, that's why I'm asking."

"Guess I missed the memo."

"Nevermind, it's nothing."

"What gave you that impression?"

“I don't take orders from anyone, let alone from people like you.”

"Wait, you’re telling me it’s supposed to taste like this??"

"It’s not wise to live a life where you make decisions based on compassion and love in a world that won’t show you any."

"Let's save us both some time and just be honest with each other from the start. If you're not, I'll find out eventually anyway, so let's just cut the crap right from the get-go."

"Isn't this enough?"

"Are you afraid?" "Of you? Never."

"Don't ever make me do that again."

"What are you doing?" "I told you, you have to trust me. I figure I should prove to you that you can."

"How stupid do you think I am?!"

"You owe me." "I don't owe you anything."

"I can't believe you carried me off like that, you made me look like a weakling in front of everyone!" "You were dying-" 

"Are you seeing this too or am I having a stroke?"

"Stop doing that, you're freaking me out!"

"This cake reeks of resentment and bitterness." "When we get to the party I'm going to need you to stop talking like that."

"Hang on, hang on, I have the perfect playlist for this scenario-" "Now is not the time!!!"

"Are those... bite marks?"

"The only thing about you that never disappoints, is your ability to disappoint."

"You're incredible." "Aw, thanks!" "Not a compliment, babe."

"I thought you didn't believe in fate." "Until I met you, I didn't."

"Get that thing away from me!"

"I want to get better, I just don't know how..." "That's bullshit."

"Name's Tammy. Short for Tambourine."

"Quit your yapping and start napping."

"Hold on tight!"

"Are you sure you're not drunk?"

"What am I supposed to do with this thing??" "She's a baby, Marc!" "Okay, what am I supposed to do with this baby??!"

"I... I've got nothing."

"You're coming here, right now, are we clear?"

"Why does it matter?" "Because it matters to me!"

"What do you think?" "Do you want me to be honest, or do you want me to be nice? I can't do both."

"I can't do that, I'll embarrass myself!" "That's never stopped you before!"

[ramblingguy54]

     Been seeing some criticism toward Sasha having conflicting feelings being mad at Marcy, since she got them stranded in Amphibia, calling it mean spirited or outright hypocritical. As for my two cents, I don’t see it that way, as this is supposed to be the point here for Sasha. It is dramatic irony after the crap she has done, but in all fairness too she never got the chance to really speak her mind whatsoever about Marcy’s betrayal, either. Sasha has been so focused on building the rebellion, trying to make herself a better person, fixing her friendship with Anne after everything that’s happened, and most importantly become more honest about intentions, surrounding why she wants to help them this time.

    In True Colors Anne got the chance to voice her heartbroken disappointment toward Marcy’s actions, whereas Sasha was beyond angered at her and couldn’t find those proper words to describe it. That’s always been a key issue of Sasha she has struggled with, overall. Sasha has plenty of compassion in her, hence the rebellion to save Marcy from Andrias, but always had serious anger issues. It’s why things went down the way they did in True Colors’ run time. Sasha was impulsively going to maliciously tear Anne away from the Plantars as a personal, “Fuck you!”, to her at one point. Honestly, I loved the way they wrote this moment here with Waybright because it shows issues of her nature don’t go away with the flip of a switch. Sure, she wants to become someone anyone deserves to have for a friend now. However, it doesn’t change a simple fact, she’s been hurt by Marcy too and those scars of betrayal affected her, as well.

     I mean, Sasha was the first one to break away in frustration against Marcy’s desperate pleas to be understood after all. This action speaks loads of the weight Sasha carries from these revelations about Marcy, as a whole. Sasha obviously wants to save her dear friend, although now that she is reaching said final destination there’s another anxiety Waybright hasn’t spoken of, how it’ll affect their bond permanently afterwards. Sasha has been so laser focused on defeating Andrias and saving Marcy from the tyrant there hasn’t been any time for her to properly reflect on all these game changing perspectives. Anne has been able to have plenty of time, considering she was temporarily back on Earth. Granted, Anne was pushing herself to an unhealthy level in rushing to get themselves back to Amphibia, but my point is Boonchuy got moments of relaxation with her parents. Sasha never got many moments of mental peace, due to how severe conditions have become in Amphibia recently and it seriously shows.     Sasha has been fighting for her life, as well as Wartwood’s denizens, to stay alive long enough, until Anne returned to really kick things into high gear. These thoughts may have been lingering in her mind for awhile, but Sasha chose to ignore them. It wasn’t until they finally set their big plan into motion finally that these bottled up feelings resurfaced because it needs to be stated now. She wants to save Marcy, but restoring their connections to a healthy status quo? That’s a gigantic different matter Sasha has been too afraid to confront head on aloud. Can she be forgiving against Marcy ripping her away from a normal life, or learn to understand, much like Anne has, why her friend did this all stuff in the first place? Sasha may have changed, but old habits die super hard, as they say.

     It’s very true to life when you want to change for the better, where unfortunate other qualities can rear their head once again when circumstances become terrible. Sasha’s anger comes from an understandable place of hurting, which Anne doesn’t judge her for feeling this way. Just as Anne understands why Marcy got them sucked into Amphibia, she empathizes with Sasha’s plea to an extent. Anne isn’t going to demonize Sasha for feeling conflicted because Boonchuy knows forgiveness isn’t easy. Anne once again shows her best quality in understanding others’ perspectives, showing how far she has come from Season 1′s humble beginnings. Anne understands these concerns about the future because she felt that exact way about giving Sasha another chance. Anne’s best quality is her empathetic nature shining brightly here for Marcy & Sasha.

    I love this scene so much because it captures how rough friendship can be. Anne isn’t focused anymore about the actions of what one does, but the why they commit them. Anne realizes Marcy was getting ignored by Sasha & herself staying passively silent in solitude and feared permanent separation, her own issues about the betrayal aside. Anne isn’t going to let her own anger blind her from seeing the bigger picture, as it once did in True Colors when Sasha tried to warn her, regarding Andrias’ real intentions about what he plans to do with the box. This scene is a prime example of Amphibia’s greatest strength, character growth.

[raineydays411]

Kind of want this adventure to be over.

Bruce Banner x Daughter!reader

Summary: You have finally found your father...just not the way you expected. You sort out your feelings and have some realizations about people in your life.

You felt sick. 

You couldn’t believe it. There he was. Your father, the man who has been missing for four years. 

He was here, being forced to slaughter people as a gladiator on a whole different planet. 

So many questions were running through your mind. How did he get here? Why hasn’t he escaped? How long has he been the Hulk?

You watch as Thor attempts to talk to him, but... it was almost like Hulk...like the attention. You watch in horror as Hulk charged at Thor. Throwing him into the wall. Both you and Loki looked at each other in concern, then glance at the Grandmaster who watched in glee.

You felt dizzy as you watched you father pummel his teammate. It was like he didn’t recognize him. He fought viscously. You cringed when you saw him slam Thor on the floor.

“YES!” Loki shouts, startling you and the Grandmaster, “THATS HOW IT FEELS!” 

You both stare at him, alarmed at the sudden outburst.

“I’m just a big fan of the sport...” He chuckles awkwardly.

He sits back down and looks at you. Concerned as you looked grey, like you were going to be sick. 

He strokes your back comfortly, “ Y/n, if you need to step out...”

“I can’t...I have to stay...” You whisper, watching Thor get beat by the Hulk. You prayed that he would get up. Then it happened.

A bolt of lighting shot the Hulk off of Thor. Then he rises, lighting engulfing his hands. The two charge at each other, and Thor starts to gain the upper hand. You breath a sigh of relief. The audience eats it up. Chanting “Thunder”, but the Grandmaster does not seem happy. Just as Thor was about to finish the fight, he was stunned by something, leaving him motionless on the ground. 

You freeze, watching as your father leaped into the air and came down, smashing Thor into the ground and knocking him out. Finishing the match. You turn to see the Grandmaster lean back in pleasure. 

“So, how do you like it?” He asks casually.

You can barely speak. Too shook up to even form a thought. Seeing your unease Loki spoke for you.

“It was very intense. A very entertaining fight indeed.” He says with a smile.

“What’s wrong with the kid?” the Grandmaster asks taking in your pale face. “ She does not look good.” 

“Yes! Well, um, it seems as though she has eaten something that made her sick. Perhaps it was the jar jar fruit”

“Oh no,” The Grandmaster states, “This is terrible.”

“Yes well--”

“I had a whole bowl!”

“Yes...I’d better take her to her room. Rest shall do her some good.”

Then Loki rises and helps you to your feet. He leads you through the crowds of people. 

You can barely walk. You don’t know why you’re reacting like this. You knew your father was here. 

Maybe it was because of how gruesome this fight could have been. Or maybe because you knew that for four years, your dad has been trapped as the Hulk, murdering aliens as a gladiator for some old lunatic. And it seemed like he liked it. 

Your legs grow weak and you nearly topple to the ground. 

“Woah, easy.” Loki says, “ Darling, take it slow.” 

“I- I think I’m going to throw up” And then you lean over, throwing up into a plant. 

“Ew.” Loki says, watching you defile that poor plant. 

You wipe your mouth and try to stand, you sway a but, almost falling to the ground. Loki then sighs and scoops you up. 

Your face burns, “ I’m sorry...”

“Shut up. I shouldn’t have made you go anyways.”

You stay silent. Resting your head on his chest as he walks you to your room. 

“You know...my dad never did this...” You whisper. Loki looks down at you in confusion.

“Did what?”

“ Carry me to my room. Especially if I was sick.”

“Oh..” Loki says, not really knowing how to respond.

“My mom was the one who did all that. But then...she got sick and...” You trail off. It was rare when you thought about your mom. It hurt to remember all the good times the three of you had, so like your father, you pushed it all down. 

“My mother did that too..” Loki muttered. He walked into your room and set you on the bed. 

“Get changed and lay down. I shall be back in a moment.” Then he walks out, leaving you alone with your thoughts. 

You change clothes and ay down. Trying to wrap your head around what just happened. 

Your father was here. You found him.

But he was the Hulk and basically a gladiator. 

He’s been here for four years. Killing people for sport. 

“God, I may have seen some weird shit living with the Avengers but this really takes the cake”, You think to yourself, shifting under the covers. You sigh, laying on your back and staring up at the ceiling. After a few moments you heard the door open. It was Loki holding a tray of food.

“Here, this should make you feel better.” He says placing the tray in your lap. It consisted of a plate of some kind of soup, some cracker like snack, and a glass of water. 

“I know it looks heavy, but it made me feel better when I was a child and ill. Although, the one made by the cooks back home may have tasted better.” Loki rambles, “I do think I did pretty well, considering the circumstances.” 

Seeing this side of Loki was shocking. Sure, you both had your moments and you knew he cared about you, but you thought it was more like a forced partnership. But, he could have left you here alone and he didn’t. He went out of way to make you something so you’d feel better. You can feel your eyes water. 

And for the first time since you’ve been on Sakaar, you cried. You cried because you haven’t seen your father for four years. You cried because you were on a completely different planet, millions of light years away from your home. You cried because Loki was being so kind.  

You cried cause you were scared.  You felt like you were in over your head, like you can’t do anything but wait. You have no idea what you’re going to do from here on out and it terrifies you. 

Then you feel a cold hand on your shoulder. You look up to see sad green eyes. Then you’re pulled into a hug. 

“I know.” Loki says softly, “It is overwhelming, and you’re still a child.”

You take a deep breath, taking in the scent of leather and something sweet. You then closed your eyes sinking into the embrace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In another part of the castle, Thor had just woken up. Scaring the crap out of the women who were tending to his wounds.

He painfully stands up, looking around the room he was in. It wasn’t like the first cell he was in. No, this one was actually clean. It didn’t smell like body fluids or...death. It was red and white, with weapons and armor laying around. He can see a large bed and a hot tub in the room. 

Thor looks out the window, taking in the scenery and trying to figure out a way to escape. He’s startled out of his thoughts by a splash. He turns to see the Hulk in the tub, sitting in the shadows.

“...Are we cool?” He asks, holding his hands up in surrender. 

He doesn’t get a response, just a low growl. But he isn’t attacked so Thor takes it as a a sign. He goes to the window again and mutters to himself, “Huh, a Hulk in a hot tub.” 

Then he turns to Hulk, “ How long have you been like that?

“Like what?” Hulk grunts

“Like this. Big, green, and...stupid”

Hulk sits up slightly, half of his face in the shadows, “Hulk always Hulk.”

Thor doesn’t respond, opting to look out the window again, then he realizes,

“How’d you get here?”

“Winning” Hulk says proudly.

Thor rolls his eyes, “ Do you mean cheating? Did they have one of these shocky things on their necks? I meant, how did you arrive here.”

Hulk imitates a whooshing and crashing noise, “Quinjet.”

Thor gets excited, “ Yes! Okay and where is the quinjet now?” 

Hulk doesn’t respond, instead he gets out of the tub. The only problem is that he didn’t have a towel...or anything to cover himself. Giving Thor a good look at his goods.

“That’s naked...very naked” Thor says cringing. “ That’s in my brain now.”

“Quinjet.” Hulk says, pointing to where the plane is. Uncaring about the state of undress he was in.

Thor gets excited again, “Yes! I can get us home, off of this awful planet. You’ll love Asgard! It’s like earth but gold”

“Hulk stays.” Hulk grunts, taking a bit out of some fruit.

“What? No no no, I need your help to prevent Ragnarok.” Thor says desperately.

“Ragnarok?” Hulk questions uncaringly. 

“Yes, its the destruction of my home planet, the end of times.”

“Thor go. Hulk stay.” Hulk says stubbornly. 

Thor is desperate. He needs to get home before Hela completely destroys everything he holds dear.

‘Look, I’ll tell you what, you help be get to Asgard, and I’ll help you get back to earth.’

“ Earth hate Hulk.”

“What?” Thor exclaims, “ Everyone loves Hulk! You’re part of the team, you’re our friend!”

“Banner’s friend.” Hulk grunts, not believing a word Thor is saying.

“WHat? I don’t even prefer Banner” Thor says awkwardly, “ He’s all ‘ NUmbErs aND SCienCe’ and stuff.”

“Banners friend!” Hulk exclaims. 

By now Thor is frustrated, “Fine. You stay here on this awful planet. Besides this room his hideous. The red and white, like just pick a color.”

“Smash you.” Hulk grunts

“You didn’t smash me, I won that fight.”

“Smash you!” Hulk throws the fruit at Thor.

Thor dodges it calling Hulk a baby. He heads toward the entrance that is left open.

“Thor go!” Hulk shouts.

“I am going!” Thor shouts back, but before he can step out of the room he’s shocked. The obedience puck stunning him

 As he falls to the ground, he can hear Hulk laugh. 

“Thor no go. Thor home.”

He sighs, looking out the window. He briefly hears Hulk say something about training. Then he sees her. The woman who got him into this mess in the first place. 

She pays no mind to him, instead greeting Hulk like they were long time friends. 

They go train, leaving Thor alone with his thoughts. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wake up in the dark room. It seems that Loki has left as you were alone. Your eyes sore from crying, you look around for your bag. You find it, pulling out your phone, earbuds, and journal. 

You write your feelings as you listen to music. 

You don’t know what to do. Part of you wants to go find your father and Thor, but another part trusts Loki and wants to stay. It doesn’t help that he has been the most fatherly figure you’ve had in a  while. 

Sure you had the Avengers. You could even argue that Tony has filled that role of father figure since your dad went missing. But, you and Loki formed a tight bond in a few days that took months for you and Tony to form. You both got along well, bonding over distant fathers, dead mothers, and theater. Not to mention you both had a sarcastic attitude. If anything, he’s taken over a big brother role, but nevertheless; betraying his trust was one thing that you couldn’t do.

You sigh, knowing what you were going to do. 

You were going to find your father.

So you get out of bed and change into your suit. You put your phone in your stuff in your bag and grab your weapons. 

You walk down the hallways, not knowing where to begin to find your father. Then an idea hits you. If you can find out where Thor is, you’d most likely find out where your dad is. So with that in mind you decided to ask a guard. 

“Excuse me.” You say to a red guard, “ Do you know where the …”Lord of Thunder” is staying? The Grandmaster allowed me to go and meet him. I am a big fan” 

The guard hesitated, not knowing who you were. But since you dropped the Grandmasters name, he pointed you to the hallway Thor was supposedly in. 

“Thank you!” You beamed, making sure to skip away as if you were a fan. You skip till you were out of sight and sigh, slowing down to a walk. You strolled down the hallways, throwing fake smiles at the guards you passed. 

Finally, you reached a room at the end of the hallway. You notice a woman pass you and walk staright into the room. You hide behind a wall and listen to the conversation. 

“Hey big guy!” She says, you notice that she has an accent similar to Thor’s.

“Angry girl!” another voice says...Your fathers voice. You can hear footsteps coming your way. You quickly pull out your phone and sit down, hoping they’ll walk right past you. You don’t need Hulk seeing you right now. If anything, he’d change back to Bruce and that’ll cause a whole bunch of problems. 

Thankfully, they pay no mind to you. You watch as they joke around and nudge each other. It’s strange, seeing the Hulk to at ease with another person. 

It kind of hurts, in the same way it hurt to see your dad with Natasha. It was like you couldn’t get close to either side of him. Or he chose not to get close to you. 

Pushing away your feelings, you get back to the mission, finding Thor. 

You head  to the room at the end of the hallway. Surprisingly, there were no guards or even a door blocking your way. You can see Thor, standing by the window. His back was turned to you but he was completely still. 

You walk through the door way, and look around the room. It was messy and kinda ugly. The red and white really didn’t clash well.

Then you were startled by Thor loudly gasping. You run up to where he was.

“Thor? Thor are you alright?”

He focuses on you, eyes widening at your presence. 

“Y/n?” He says slowly, “ Y/n?! What are you doing here?”

“The Dr. Wizard said my dad was here. So I came looking for him...” You say slowly. “ Are you okay?”

“I’ve been better.” Thor laughs, “ Have...have you been here this whole time?”

“Yeah, I got here the same day Loki did, so about two weeks ago. Since then I--”

“Wait, have you been with Loki this whole time?” Thor asks.

“Yeah, he’s the reason I’m still alive to be honest.” You say, “ He helped me get in favor of the Grandmaster and he’s been looking out for me ever since.”

“Loki?” Thor says in disbelief, “ My brother, Loki? He has been taking care of you?”

“Yeah, I didn’t believe it either...but he’s been so kind to me, Thor. Kinder than anyone has been in a while.” You say softly. 

Thor smiled, he was glad that there was still a part of the Loki he knew growing up. That you were alright. 

“You look awesome.” He says taking in your outfit, “Where did you get those clothes?!” 

You laugh, “ It seems like the Grandmaster likes to give make overs.” You look at Thor, “ Dude they cut your hair?!” 

“Yeah some creepy old man cut it off.” He says, suddenly he pulls you in for a hug. “ I am beyond glad to see you here.” 

You blush and hug him back, “I’m glad you are okay.’

Then you frown, “ My...my dad...he’s here.”

Thor freezes, “ Oh Y/n I completely forgot..”

“It’s okay... he looks fine” You say bitterly, remembering how chummy he was with that girl.

“ He can’t know I am here.” You say quickly, “ If he does, he’ll change back and raise suspicion.”

“I need help to get out of here.” Thor says, “ Asgard is in danger.”

“Why don’t you just walk out the door?” You ask

“Because, this neck thingy shocks me whenever I try to leave.” Thor says showing you his neck.

“Ohh so that’s why you lost the fight,” You say realizing what happened.

“I dis not lose” Thor said, “Your father cheated.”

You snicker, “What ever you say Lord of Thunder.” 

Thor sighs at the name, knowing that you weren’t going to stop calling him that. 

“Y/n, I need you to help me get out.” Thor says desperately. You furrow your brow, thinking of a way to get him out of here. 

“Okay...I have an idea.” 

You spend the next thirty minutes comin up with an idea. Revising and editing ideas that’ll get him out of here unscathed. 

That’s when you realized that you shouldn’t be here when Hulk gets back. 

“I have to go.” You say quickly, gathering all your stuff. 

“Wait, wait, how are you going to escape...” Thor says worriedly. “ Your father doesn’t even know your here.”

You sigh sadly, “ I doubt he cares. He seems pretty content here.” 

“Y/n, that’s Hulk, not Banner. Your father loves you.” 

You chuckle, “ You know, in last few weeks. Loki showed he cared about me more than my father has in all the years I’ve been alive.”

“Oh...that’s bad.” Thor says, because if you knew Loki cared about you and not your father...that was saying a lot.    

“Good luck Thor, I better go before some guards show up.” You say, patting his arm and dashing off. And again, Thor was alone. 

Running through the hallways, you bump into someone. You fall to the ground in a huff.

“Watch where you’re walking!” 

“Sorry dude, jeez don’t get your undies in a twist.” You say, getting up from the ground. You look up to see the girl who was with the Hulk. 

“Do..do I know you? You look familiar.” She says, closely looking at your face. 

“Umm, I tell stories to the Grandmaster.” You say quickly, “I better go.” 

Then you run off again, leaving a confused Valkyrie behind. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You finally make it to your room. Panting as you close the door.

“Where have you been.” 

You jump, not expecting anyone to be in your room. 

“Relax, its just me.” Loki says, rolling his eyes, “ Now, where were you? I came back into your room, expecting to find you in bed, resting.”

“Sorry, I... I went to see Thor.” You say honestly. 

“Y/n.” Loki starts, but you interrupt him.

“I know! I know I shouldn’t have gone, but I felt really bad and wanted to make sure he was okay.” 

Loki sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked at your face, seeing your guilty eyes and frown. He’s demeanor softened, “ You are too kind for your own good.”

You chuckled, “Well, one of us has to have redeemable qualities.”

“Hey!” Loki shouts offended. You laugh at his face.

“I can get used to this” You think to yourself. You yawn, suddenly tired from all your activities.

“Get some rest.” Loki says, “You’ll need it’” 

Then he leaves the room after ruffling your hair.

As you get ready for bed and finally lay down, you realize you can’t sleep.

 You have a crushing feeling that something big was going to happen the next day.

[nejibaby]

Memories

Pairing: Neji x Fem!Uchiha Reader

Summary: There are a lot of terrible things that have happened to you as an Uchiha that you wanted to forget. But with Neji’s help, you’re able to move on and move along. Things have started getting better for you, however, once the Fourth Shinobi War was declared, time seemed to start running out.

Word Count: 2.1k

Memories - Part 1 | Deja Vu - Part 2

A/N: I didn’t exactly follow the plot and somehow it turned so angsty 🙈 Please let me know your thoughts~

There are memories you hold so dear that you refuse to have them tainted no matter what. Most of those memories are of the times you spent playing or training with your brother Shishui, his best friend Itachi, and Itachi’s brother Sasuke. Those times were the golden days for you; the best of the best, if you may.

Conversely, there are also memories that you just wish would disappear. They’re the memories of incidents you wish didn’t happen at all. They’re the type of memories that you push at the back of your mind, because you believe that if you think about it or even spare a single second for it, then it’ll be more real. Because you’re in denial. You’re in denial not only about the death of Shisui, but also of the Uchiha clan.

But then there’s a single memory you have that always stands out. It’s a memory that you both want to forget and remember.

The tragedy of the Uchiha clan had changed the only survivors — you and Sasuke. You had already started changing a little because you had to deal with your brother’s death, but seeing the horrible scene in the clan’s district had been the icing on top.

Your drastic change had been evident on the day you came back to the Academy after you were discharged at the hospital. What once was a girl full of life had become an empty shell.

The moment you sat down entered the room, people had started talking. Mostly it’s just about asking someone else if you were an Uchiha or if they know about the clan’s misfortune. They were meaningless chatters so you easily drowned them out.

But there was a comment that had reached your ears. “Why is it such a big deal? People die anyway, it just so happened her clan died on the same day.”

The comment kept ringing inside your head but then someone beside you spoke up, “Don’t you have anything else better to do than talk about someone else’s life?”

He was met with silence so he continued saying, “People die everyday, it’s a fact. Some die because of illnesses, some because of old age, some because of poverty, accidents, or murder. As shinobi, we can die in the line of duty. But that doesn’t make death any less painful to the one left behind.

“If your family is alive, then good, but maybe use that brain of yours because logic says not everyone gets to be as lucky as you.”

Naturally, you want to forget about the unsolicited comment of your classmate, but you want to remember that among the students inside the room, one boy had stood up for you. Quite frankly, you needed his saving that day. Otherwise, you would’ve beaten yourself up for mourning too long.

And when you realized who that boy was, his words weighed even more. Because Hyuga Neji was a boy notoriously known for thinking that everyone’s fate is predetermined from birth and that luck plays absolutely no part in it.

“Not everyone gets to be as lucky as you.”

And for a hot minute he had abandoned his belief as he stood up for you.

It sounds hypocritical if you think about it.

But maybe just as he had saved you, you had opened his eyes just a little bit and helped him see that his beliefs were skewed too. In a way, you had helped each other, at least you hoped.

It’s because of that day, that memory, that you find yourself gravitating towards Neji.

It isn’t attraction at all at first, more like genuine curiosity about him and his life. But you didn’t get to know him further until the Chunin exams where he had disclosed the way of their clan. It’s at that time where you understood why he acts the way he acts.

You can’t help but wonder about how two clans with almost similar circumstances— both with kekkei genkai, both living in Konoha, both considered to be one of the strongest clans in the shinobi world— could have completely different ways of living. One clan is almost completely annihilated, while the other has slaves of their own blood. And if you’re being completely honest, you aren’t exactly sure which is better.

You have gotten the urge to talk to him after hearing his story, although you really didn’t know what to say. But then the chance never came up because of the chaos orchestrated by Orochimaru.

After the Chunin exams and the attack of Orochimaru, you hadn’t heard of Neji for a while since you’ve been tasked to help with the repairs of the village. And when you did hear about him, it was terrible, terrible news.

Sasuke left the village to seek power from the very person who just wrecked havoc in Konoha. His leaving alone left you in despair. What Itachi was to Shisui is exactly what Sasuke means to you, and him doing such a thing without even letting you know makes you feel like a failure both as a friend and as a family.

The news didn’t end there, however. Apparently the squad that Shikamaru had led to retrieve Sasuke had been severely injured and were on the brink of death — one of them being Neji.

You remember feeling guilt and regret burning your skin. You remember the shame of not being able to save Sasuke from the darkness and not being able to help the retrieval squad in any way. You blame yourself for the horrible things that happened.

Since then, you have made it a point to visit the squad in the hospital every day, making sure you apologize and thank them for their service. But admittedly, it’s Neji that you always stay with longer.

It’s not that you aren’t comfortable with the others, they’re really nice and easy to get along with. But they always have other visitors with them, mostly their team members and relatives. Neji, on the other hand, didn’t get as many visits since his other teammate, Rock Lee, was also injured because of his fight with Gaara. So Tenten and Guy sensei would switch visits between the two every other day.

Besides that, his clan members rarely ever visited. And you didn’t want him to be alone in such trying moments, especially when you didn’t get to do anything to prevent this from happening.

As closed off as Neji is, because of your constant visits, you have found a way to worm yourself into the walls he put up. And by the time he’s discharged from the hospital, you somehow became close friends.

From that moment on, you find yourself coming to Neji on times that you’re in despair and in doubt. You trust him enough to tell him your stories, worries, and fears because he doesn’t judge you. And he does the same with you.

Neji listens when you want him to listen, and talks when you need him to talk. He’s quite level headed and very much rational, and because of that he gives the best advice.

With him, you find yourself healing and growing. With you, he finds himself learning to forgive.

Neji easily makes you see things in a different way; a different light; a different perspective, and helps you become a better shinobi and a better person in general.

For you, Neji has such a comforting aura. While he’s sometimes cold and stoic around others, with you, he softens up. With you, he’s gentle; careful even. And it’s because of this that you find yourself admiring him more and more.

But before anything could happen — before you could even confess — the Fourth Shinobi War was declared.

Just like that, time seemed to start running out. And you have lost all hopes of being together with Neji as a lover rather than a friend.

The war is awful. Quite frankly, it overwhelmed you too much, too easily. The bodies lying on the floor with dried out blood reminded you of the massacre of the Uchiha clan. But the only person who’s able to calm you down and help you move along is Neji.

The both of you fight side by side, always nearby Hinata in case she would need help. When the night comes and the enemies cease their attack, it’s your turn to talk Neji into relaxing a bit because he’s started straining his eyes from too much use. And because it’s you who asked and it’s you who’s there with him, he knows he and the rest of the Allied Forces are safe, so he rests.

But somehow chaos ensues and in the middle of it, you both get separated. You’re worried deeply, but you trust his skills and his strength, and you know you’ll be reuniting with him again.

And reunited with him you did. But when you have found him once again, he’s blocking out the Ten Tails’ attack with... his body.

With desperation, you transported to his side as quickly as you can. Summoning your last bits of chakra, you use Susanoo to protect him, Hinata, and Naruto. The last thing you remember is the look of relief on Neji’s face, but before it could morph into worry, you have already blacked out.

By the time you have woken up, you’re in Konoha’s hospital. The first thing you see is Neji resting his head on the side of your bed, peacefully sleeping, looking as angelic as ever.

Your body aches with every breath you take, even more so with little movement. But you didn’t let that deter you from weaving your fingers along the Hyuga’s hair. He stirs almost immediately and then he opens his pretty eyes. He sits up upon seeing you.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” You softly ask.

He doesn’t respond to your question. “You’re awake,” he sighs in relief. “You’re finally awake. Let me go call Lady Tsunade and Sakura.” He stands up.

But before he can even take a step, you grab his wrist. “Stay,” you mumble.

Neji looks at you, reading your face. But then he nods and sits.

“Is it over?” You ask.

“Yes, the war’s over.”

“What happened after?”

“It’s a long story… but tell me, how are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling fine. My body aches, but it’s not a big deal.”

“What do you mean it’s not a big deal?!” Neji looks upset that it takes you by surprise. “Do you remember what happened? Didn’t you know you almost died?! You almost used up all your chakra to use Susanoo! That’s so stupid and reckless!”

His aggressive tone effectively gets you angry. “I did it for you!” You snap. “Of course I remember what happened! Even if I want to forget, the memory is branded in my mind! You fucking wanted to use your body to shield Naruto from that attack, didn’t you? How is that not stupid and reckless? Huh?”

Neji’s chakra flares up as he clenches his jaw. Yet, he doesn’t speak.

You breathe out, trying to calm down. You rarely ever fought with Neji and he’s never really raised his voice to you. With your body still tired and aching from the war, you didn’t want this conversation to escalate further so you try to diffuse the situation before it blows even more out of proportion.

In a low voice, you speak, “I was so scared, Neji. I didn’t want to lose you. I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved.”

A tear falls down from your eye and Neji’s heart breaks at your forlorn state. “I don’t want to lose you too. I can’t…” you squeak. “I love you so much, I can’t lose you.”

Neji’s breath hitches at your declaration. He could hear his heart drumming against his chest.

You love him?

He doesn’t know if he heard you right or if his mind is just playing tricks on him. It happened before. He’s loved you for so long… and there have been plenty of days he dreamt of hearing you say you love him too. And right now he isn’t sure if this is the reality or just another one of his dreams.

As if you’ve read his mind — like you always seem to be able to do — you repeat your words. “I love you, Neji.”

It’s the confirmation that he needs. And hearing your words knocked the wind out of him. “I… I…” he starts saying.

But you’ve taken his stuttering and his pale, panic-stricken face as a sign of an incoming rejection, so you look down instantly and say, “It’s fine if you don’t like me the same way. I just hope we can still be friends after—”

“No, I… I love you too,” he breathlessly confesses before you even finish your rambling.

Your head whips up after the words left his lips. You stare at him, unbelieving.

And just as you did a while ago, he repeats his words with conviction, “I love you too.”

A smile makes its way to your face, and when he smiles back, you immediately know this is a memory you won’t ever forget.

[buzzykrueger]

When Gon’s anger becomes a protective mechanism for Killua

IMPORTANT: The text is long, plus, I do not support Gon hate. He’s a human being and a kid, so don’t worry, none of my analysis will put him as a monster.

You know the theory that one of the reasons Gon shuts Killua out from Pitou’s fight, besides proving himself and erasing his guilt, is also to keep Killua safe? I didn’t understand at first, but I kinda agree with that now.

Remember the “YES I AM AN IDIOT” iconic scene, Greed Island arc?

Let’s talk about that and link it all.

They’ve spent half of the chapter 158 arguing because Gon kept insisting on meeting this “Chrollo Lucilfer” person inside the game, while Killua was trying to be logical, saying that this person wouldn’t clarify their reasons only by asking them. Killua eventually gives in, and after Gon uses the card, they travel to met not Chrollo, but Hisoka, who asks if they went all that way just to ask him a question (implying how dumb it was).

Gon says that’s pretty much their reason and Killua kept teasing Gon on his dumb choice.

But after some ping-pong teasing between them, the reason Gon was being stubborn is, actually, a concern that lights up on his mind with memories of his journey to rescue Killua from Kukuroo Mountain. Even blushing, Gon says that he was reminded of Gotoh’s words and was worried that both of them were being deceived.

Gotoh’s words were, exactly:

Be careful. And protect Killua.

This also adds to the character analysis - one that is very on point - that Gon being outgoing doesn’t mean he puts depth to analyzing his feelings. He speaks his mind, the problem is not to talk per se - but to put effort into understand his intentions behind those actions. He could say he was worried about them, but he doesn’t, because he speaks first and doesn’t think through what he feels. He’s yes outgoing, but impulsive, and very immersive into acting first, think later - or even thinking only when questioned, because it didn’t even crossed his mind. That’s why we see him talking but yet... it’s hard to know what is happening inside him aside from Killua’s common inner monologues. But maybe protecting Killua it’s so natural that he doesn’t even bother to explain. To think that he keeps Gotoh’s words and even mentions it after all this time, such a nice and gentle touch of how much he respects his bond with Killua. 

Now, let’s get back to the CAA events. Specifically chapter 222.

A very shocked and distressed Gon was learning through Kite's attacks, but not to defend himself or parry. His painful attempts were all leading to dodge the punches and faints, so he could give puppet Kite a hug, and an apology.

Yes, he said terrible things to Killua - and of course wanting to protect him wasn’t the only reason. But he knew from the moment they first met Pitou, that they were dangerous. He wanted to deal with that alone, because it was “his mess”, so he shouldn’t endanger his most beloved one. 

We know that this is a turning point for Gon’s development in this arc, because it is the moment where his resolve becomes tainted with all the guilt he is facing. It’s when he starts to lose himself, and Killua knows that, probably, nothing he says or do will convince Gon otherwise.

But what contrasts with the well-known harsh words towards his best friend, is that he never meant to exclude Killua from the whole situation. That's why he says "OUR fault".

Then, right after, he addresses Killua directly. Visibly starting to lose himself, he takes the responsibility to prove he's strong to fix it, but I think that due to his communication pattern, he might also mean that he’s want to fix it without endangering who he wanted to fight by his side under normal circumstances.

It’s an act that can hold both guilt and protection. He addresses only that one person in the room because he needs Killua to know that this isn't a normal situation, and that's why he can't bring him to this fight. It isn’t normal because someone dear to him got hurt really bad. It isn’t normal because his best friend, someone who would not think before putting his life at risk for Gon, shouldn’t endanger himself to the point he could face the same destiny, specially because this is Gon’s way to show he cares. Again, Gon just speaks his mind without much thought, with his intentions between the lines. His effort to put his feelings into words mixed with the suffering he is handling are, on his mind, overwhelming enough - but still he cared to speak directly to Killua. Could this be, again, another demonstration of not-so-well-thought feelings spoken with the first words that come to his mouth?

Wouldn’t make sense, after all of those demonstrations of Gon’s behavior when someone is endangered and he desperately wants to take control of the situation because he thinks this is the best way to protect them and to be useful, and with that, deserving of their company? 

As Gon's communication is both simple (in words) and complex (behind the words), since he doesn't think through his feelings and he’s a stubborn child, it makes hard for others to catch his intentions, specially if they're already struggling to understand that they are not a burden. Because Killua’s mindset on making friends also includes the need to feel useful, just like Gon’s, but expressed through different means - and by being casted away fro Gon’s decision and later saving the boy in order to push him forward once again to his goal (alone this time), Killua thinks Gon has cut ties with him. as he couldn’t play a helpful role within Gon’s life anymore. So, this is how he reaches the rejective conclusion.

But the connection that I'm trying to make is that even thought Gon’s words were awful as the boy himself recognized, I truly believe Gon still wouldn't want Killua to fight even if he knew how his friend felt.  But not because he rejected Killua or meant to cut ties with his “no longer useful” best friend.

Because Gon has stated already: Killua doesn’t have to earn his friendship.

Those harsh words during the Palace Invasion were an attempt to regain control of the situation, prove his worth in the middle of a mental chaos that he wasn’t ready to face. But still, what if he kept reminding himself that he must protect his best friend in the entire world and just couldn’t find a better way to say it? Because he knows Killua is capable of self-sacrificing, Gon tried to stop him before, and Pitou is terribly strong. If it’s hard for him to translate his feelings when he is calm and collected, the extreme condition he found himself dragged in would’ve just made this communication face more obstacles. Fighting his own pain - another thing he couldn’t translate for the sake of his own mental health - led to the words to come out like they were: heartbreaking.

So, I’m not saying that it was solely to protect Killua, but I think that makes sense for Gon’s character. And again, I don’t think he would agree that Killua would fight what he thinks it’s his battle alone. But, with his mind cleared and the right questions, he would've given Killua an answer. He would say that this is not about taking Killua out of the special place Gon has put him, but about Gon taking the the responsibility based on what he thinks it’s best for everyone. His feelings, either protective or hurtful, are only explained when he’s asked, because action speaks volume for him and he needs this trigger question to make him translate his intentions.

Just like in the Hunter Exam, he only tells Kurapika about how he felt with Hisoka because he questioned. 

And in the Yorknew Arc, Gon didn’t let Killua hurt himself and was really trying to understand how the other boy felt. Gon doesn't communicate well but not because he rejects his feelings, and still, he cares about others’ feelings too. He was just literally out of his mind. So yeah, I think he cared for Killua safety, and if after all this time he made a connection between his stubborn acts and Gotoh’s words, it’s because - on his mind - these words and thoughts never leave his head. He’s constantly worrying about Killua, in his own way. But he couldn't explain something that he didn't put a second thought even for himself to understand. And it's not the first time, he acts very similar in these mentioned situations.

What all these stubborn oriented situations that I’ve mentioned, except for the one regarding Hisoka, have in common? He wanted to protect Killua.

He was undeniably wrong in saying those words to Killua, but it’s something acknowledged by himself already. He IS, by his nature, a protective kid, and under normal circumstances, Killua would be allowed to fight by his side because it has to be him. If it’s not going to be him, it won’t be anyone else. He can’t risk to lose him for something that he feels overly responsible. His words were rooted in pain, but the moment he addresses Killua that he would fight alone - a moment recollected by the latter in the hospital scene - shows respect for the one he has just lost, Kite, and the one he doesn’t want to lose. 

Killua is the one who never left him, never discredited him and is irreplaceable. Killua is the first thing that comes up to his mind when thinking about meeting Ging. Who would have thought that Gon’s mind would reach so far into memories and hold so deeply someone’s words like Gotoh’s?

He was selfish. But it’s a childish selfishness, built on such empty expectations about himself that he ends up forcing on others what he believes that is the right thing to do, in order to keep others safe, no matter how bad he hurts his body... because when it comes to protect those he care, he loses respect on his self-care due to this low self-esteem of his. So, he didn’t ask Killua to “please, let me fight alone”, because he’s decided to not drag Killua into a fight he knows he might lose, and then Killua couldn’t be protected.

And makes sense, again, that Killua couldn’t read between these lines, because he also blames himself for everything that happened, and thinks his feelings and desires would only keep in Gon’s way - that’s why those words hit him so deeply, but the thing that hurts him the most was the sole fact that Gon fought alone. He can’t help but compare to the dodgeball, and like Gon, Killua has his own unhealthy patterns: since he only knows love through pain, when he’s prevented from getting hurt against his will, he fails to understand it as an act of love.

The bond they’ve established while playing Greed Island was expressed through dozens of symbolisms already well discussed among the fandom (Killua’s badge, the rainbow diamond, the famous line during the dodgeball game). And I don’t doubt that their encounter with Pitou held traces of the same protective pattern, but messed up by Gon’s internal struggle.

For the times Gon showed concern before, we can mention more expressive moments like the whole Zoldyck arc, when they were escaping from the Troupe, when Tzeseguerra said he’d endangered Killua or even when Killua got caught by some spell, etc, or we can even analyze his body language. Like here:

Before the date, Gon is indirectly protecting Killua in here, through his body language (Killua entered the room first, but Gon puts himself between them):

And after the date, while being punished for hurting her feelings, Gon screams at Palm when she tried to stab Killua, probably implying that he was observing and only interveins when she tries to hurt anyone other than himself - because he is, again, being stubborn and taking all the blame and control in order to redeem his actions and prove his capacity to fix things. I think it’s possible that Gon talked to her about Killua off curtains, or at least made an agreement about not involving Killua in her madness, but it it’s open to interpretation.

So, yeah, I can’t help but link everything to his pattern. He responds to the fear of losing those he loves with the same impactful devotion that is given to him, but it is so impactful that fails vocabulary and second thoughts. He knows Killua will be the first to risk his life if something happens or to prevent Gon from getting hurt during his tasks. Killua tends to sacrifice a lot and never complains while doing it, so I think it’s pretty much plausible that even when he can’t express himself at all, he’s worrying about Killua in the corner of his mind. Sometimes, just before our eyes.

Anyways, I love re-reading Greed Island arc and linking to their development through CAA because pretty much anything they do, they’re doing together, and they were bonding so beautifully. Their relationship was never so well-detailed before, but mostly for us, when they didn’t get much time to put in the balance how rushed their training was, and how fast they got attached to the point they can’t even stop thinking about each other while distant.

They look at each other like this:

They inspire this kind of reaction from others:

And there’s this one... nothing big, I just love it hahahaha

They’re in love each others’ top priority. It’s not impossible that Gon took Killua’s safety into matter, but his mind and words failed him, as he himself acknowledges that the only explanation to say those things to Killua is that “he doesn’t know what he was thinking”. Because, under normal circumstances, just like about letting Killua fight by his side, he would NEVER hurt Killua’s feelings. He IS protective. He didn’t have to rescue Killua from his own home - since Killua left for himself - but he still does it, instead of sticking to his main journey. And did not budge until Killua was safe by his side.

It’s a badly worded protection, because he doesn’t even know self-protection and puts action before everything. To figure a better way out of this pattern, he will now have plenty of time to find new ways to protect Killua and himself from the flaws of their dynamic. Their emotional attachment didn’t grow as fast as their fighting skills, but it doesn’t mean Gon is a monster, was malicious towards Killua or wanted to break his heart. I don’t even think he would reject Killua, but would explain the reason behind his decision in a reassuring way.

And finally, it’s so symbolic how Gotoh died and got replaced by a Kiriko - the same creature that translates Gon’s perceptiveness and how the boys are close. This way, they are still linked by Gotoh’s words through someone that mimics Gotoh’s appearance and also understands their relationship like the long gone butler. His words will never die.

And not to mention... how shoujo and romantic it is that Gon remembers the promise he made to Gotoh before he takes Killua with him? It is almost like a marriage proposal. That he didn’t forget, not even after all this time. 

Do I think he would’ve change his mind on letting Killua fight? Not at all, and Killua couldn’t change his mind even if he begged, at least not without some patient mental work. This is Gon’s mindset on protecting someone. But like that time in Greed Island, under normal circumstances, Gon would’ve ease Killua’s worries directly or indirectly after some talking. And of course, it is not his job to guess Killua’s feelings, communication must be a two-way path. Killua waited for too long, and at that point, Gon was too lost in his grief and wasn’t able to measure his words. But I truly believe that, deep inside his mind, those words and that promise were still there, waiting to resonate if necessary.

And as @gallyl​ added so perfectly: Killua is alive and well, grieving on the hospital’s bench, trying to get a grip of everything he just experienced. Decided to give Gon a second chance, he’s now able to understand this message of love Gon has left for him: there’s so much he can do in life, that Gon simply doesn’t want him to die because Killua’s whole life was surrounded by death - and Killua’s greatest wish was to live like a normal kid. And this speaks louder to Gon than having Killua to himself in death. A love that is not selfish, and does not envy. Killua’s life is validated, and in return, he saves Gon and his sister, the ones he loves the most, and validate back their right to exist, to grow, to try again. Unconditional love. At first, he’s hurt and demands an apology. But it’s Alluka who reminds him of how love must be free to give and to receive - he should let his heart open for whenever Gon is ready to reach him again.

But now, the apology will matter. 

And this is absurdly romantic. Not every sacrifice ends up in dying together to prove a relationship. They’ve made promises similar to marital vows, and not everything happened like they wanted, but they made clear to us that they’re not done with each other - as they refuse to say goodbye, and keep grammatical constructions like “for a while”, indicating a break, an interlude. 

Their song is still playing, and their promises still exist as their split was never mentioned as something definitive, because preventing the other one to get physically hurt on your behalf and taking some time to think before you take the risk to accidentally emotionally hurt them too are both ways to show protection. Ways that they’re learning now, two boys who think they should get hurt to love and be loved. 

[earnestly-endlessly]

Hi! Do you have any Cherik Army AUs? I've managed to find just 3.

Hi Anon, thanks for the ask. I found some good Army AUs, though some might not quite fall into the category of 'Army AU'. There are, surprisingly, few Army AUs that I have found, whereas there are several military and war AUs, but those don't necessarily involve an army. I did include a variety that involve an army in one way or another, though some fit the bill better than others. I hope you find some that you enjoy!!

Cherik Army AU

I Want to Guard Your Dreams And Visions – luninosity

Summary: I was reading Barbara Hambly’s Abigail Adams mystery novels, and then Erik/Charles American Revolutionary War AU happened. Little snippet in which they share a tent, drink coffee, and provide support to each other.

The Eggnog Riot – Sophia_Bee

Summary: 1826. The American Military Academy in West Point. The day after Christmas. Cadet Erik Lehnsherr wakes up naked with a certain cadet Xavier sprawled across his chest. He can only blame the eggnog.

No Man’s Land – ikeracity

Summary: It's 1914 in Ypres, Belgium. British soldier Charles Xavier has been in the trenches for four months of endless artillery fire, bone-deep cold, and constant fear of the enemy. But on Christmas Eve, the gunfire falls silent, and they climb out of their trenches for a Christmas truce. Charles, of course, meets Erik, the German soldier across the way.

My Land’s Only Borders Lie Around My Heart – pseudoneems

Summary: WW1 Christmas truce of 1914. Opposing soldiers Erik and Charles meet.

Le soldat – Iggyassou

Summary: Erik is in the trenches, trying to survive the war so that he can go back to Charles, his young lover waiting for him back at home.

Names – Squeegee

Summary: In the summer of 1917, British soldier Charles Xavier finds himself taking cover in a shell crater.

Not sure if the 'graphic' tag applies or not, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Quell a storm with pen and ink – patroclux

Summary: Charles had spared his life. That was not something he could easily repay.

They wrote letters to each other for two years, until Charles was pulled out of the war from a sudden illness and Erik remained to fight for a cause he didn't believe in. One that ultimately had no effect; one that stole away four years of his life.

Traumatized and persecuted, Erik applied for a post at Janus, a lighthouse in the middle of the Irish Sea. He thought being alone would do him good.

Despite the letters and despite the love, Erik didn't expect Charles to find him.

Hier steh ich an den Marken meiner Tage – MonstrousRegiment

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a spy in the SS, and his British liaison is strategist Charles Xavier. Their relationship from the moment they meet to a year after the end of the war.

Theme and Variations: War – ninemoons42

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a musical prodigy and a man destined for great things and great stages. But his life is shattered by a terrible accident that leaves him blind and trying to find his way back to his life, his music, and his place in the world.

Then he meets Charles Xavier, an agent of Section 8 of the Military Intelligence Directorate of Providence, and he finds himself listening in to clandestine radio transmissions and clicking Morse code, and these sounds are part and parcel of a war that can only take place in the shadows and the hidden places of history.

Strib nicht von Mir – ravenoftheninerealms

Summary: A squad of Allied Forces, led by Charles Xavier, liberates the Nazi concentration camp where Erik was being held prisoner.

Cold foxholes, warm hearts – oddegg

Summary: Basically, this is Band of Mutants. A little slice of life in Bastogne.

Photographs and Memories – tirsynni

Summary: When war-battered Erik Lehnsherr met Charles Xavier, the man kneeling in the dirt and whispering to a lost refugee child, Erik feared his days of running from his deviance was done.

Marching Home – Quietbang

Summary: For a prompt on the meme asking for fic dealing with the fact that, in comics canon, Charles served in the Korean war.

War meant something different to this generation, Charles knew.

Crash on the Levy (Down in the Flood) – Quietbang

Summary: “This is much bigger than you think. You're in the middle of a war, and you don't even realize, do you?”

He pauses, and answers his own question.“No, of course you don't. How silly of me."

The Knight and the Dagger – Dow

Summary: A Lieutenant in the Soviet Army, Erik Lensherr had no other goals than to find the man that killed his parents. But when a discovery yields a little boy with wings like an angel, Erik is shocked to realize that he isn’t alone. There are other people like him, both dangerous and alluring.

Lifelong Service – Pookaseraph

Summary: Erik thinks he should be the one to teach their recruits hand-to-hand combat; Charles makes a persuasive argument to the contrary.

Footsteps of uprooted lovers – ninemoons42

Summary: Against a turbulent backdrop of artistic, social, and political upheaval, the playwright Charles Xavier and the photographer Erik Lehnsherr find themselves meeting under less-than-polite circumstances, but part rather more amicably than they'd met.

When they find each other again in a Barcelona that is falling inexorably toward war, they find themselves taking up arms, each in his own way, and together they join a struggle for freedom, for love, and for their very lives.

Dear Soldier – Lindstrom, ToriTC198

Summary: "Dear Soldier,

I pray that this package finds you well. The organization gave us a list of odds and ends that you might need, but I thought that a person so far from home might appreciate something more than soap and tube socks."

When Charles' school decides to send care packages to the soldiers fighting in Vietnam, he chooses to also include a letter and a few personal touches. When Staff Sergeant Erik is the recipient of that particular care package it will spur a relationship that will change them both.

Fortunate Son – blueink13

Summary: he days leading up to and during Alex's deployment in Vietnam. Everyone handles it in their own way. Some handle better than others.

You’re Here – Deshonana

Summary: Everyone decides its a good idea not to tell Erik when his boyfriend comes home from the military.

Welcome Home –  loveydoveyecstasy

Summary: It's been two years since Charles was deployed to Afghanistan, and Erik can't wait to pick him up at the airport.

When Secrets have Secrets – ximeria

Summary: The arguments that take place in General Xavier's office when General Lehnsherr has a bad day are legendary. Quite frankly, no one really knows what's going on and if the two men have it their way, no one ever will.

Quiet Company – Sophia_Bee

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is always on the move. He's spent the last many years going from war torn country to war torn country telling the stories of the people there through photographs. Then one of his pictures is selected as a winner for the Pulitzer Prize and Erik finds himself stuck in London for longer than he wants. He ends up with an assignment to photograph Charles Xavier, a wealthy philanthropist who is intrigued to find himself working with a Pulitzer-winning war photographer. Erik is far less intrigued by someone he considers privileged and out of touch. Both of their lives are about to change in ways they couldn't imagine.

The City is Ours – RedStockings

Summary: Erik felt his heart racing with excitement, lightened, and for once felt joyful. Charles had looked at him, really looked at him, and there had been something there, a knowing of a kind. As the soldiers laughed amongst each other, and joked each other about who would succeed in marrying the boy, Erik made himself a silent vow. Charles was going to be his, and nothing would keep him from having him. He’d marry him, and he’d save him, and Charles would love him for it.

Not even the war could keep them apart... right?

Sign of the Times – dsrobertson

Summary: Casablanca-ish AU.

Charles Xavier meets Erik Lehnsherr in Paris, 1937. They spend the next two years with one another, stupid in-love, until war comes heavy in September 1939. Erik leaves for Poland and the Resistance movement there, promising to return. Charles is left in Paris, where Nazi jackboots march in, Summer of 1940. He becomes a member of the underground French Resistance, publishing illegal newsletters, leaflets, until news comes through in February 1942: Erik is dead. Charles throws himself into more dangerous work, meeting with Communists, helping derail a German train, and he does too much, goes too far. His friends find him safe passage out of France, out across the Mediterranean, to Morocco, Casablanca. It is here he finds Erik, alive.

The Waste Land – nekosmuse

Summary: The White Queen and her Shadow King sit on their throne, safe behind the psionic shields of the Walled City. The armies of Genosha batter uselessly at the gates, a war locked in stalemate. Magneto, camped in the frozen mud, receives word the Citadel intends to send a telepath to the front lines. The same telepath he met two years ago, who sat across a carved wooden chess set and offered Magneto the first friendly smile in a lifetime. The same telepath who still haunts his dreams.

Winter Comes With a Knife – RedStockings

Summary: It apparently came to no one’s surprise that the war-mage Erik Lehnsherr took up residence in the Dark Keep. I knew he was going to choose my sister, Raven, to be his apprentice so why wouldn’t he let me go? What did he want from me?

My name is Charles Xavier, I can read minds and use magic. I’ve met Kings and Queens, mages and magic users. I’ve travelled through lay-lines and jumped through the Dark Void… but none of that really matters.

I am leading an army into war, I am scared and I never wanted this. I’ve come to realise that what I want, rode into my life when I was still a child. Now he’s out there, ready to charge into battle. Ready to die for me.

Polaris – LastAmericanMermaid

Summary: Charles Xavier is 19 years old, doe-eyed and soft; Erik Lehnsherr is 24 years old, steely-hard and bitter. One is a soldier, the other a refugee. Both are mutants. There will be pain, oh yes.

(An AU in which Charles is a wounded British soldier, Erik is the German hiding in France who nurses him back to health, and the contents of this fic are best read to the soundtrack of Atonement.)

Note: Unfinished

MEDIC! – paladin_danse

Summary: A British airborne medic finds himself alone and afraid behind enemy lines. When he decides to save the life of an S.S. German officer he finds wounded in the snow, he has no idea the choice he has made will alter the course of the war—and their lives—forever.

Note: Sadly unfinished

Suicide is Painlesss – weethreequarter 

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr did not become a doctor to pick bullets out of children. Unfortunately the US Army had other ideas.

Stuck in the middle of the Korean War, Erik and his fellow civilian surgeons have to battle not only the war, but also weather, mud, and boredom. And that's without mentioning Major Sebastian Shaw who thinks war is the best thing that's ever happened to him and never should've been allowed to pick up a scalpel, or Colonel William Stryker who may or may not work for the CIA and probably doesn't even know himself.

Throw in new arrival Captain Charles Xavier, and Erik is in for a very interesting war.

Note: Unfinished

A Light That Never Goes Out – R_Cookie

Summary: It was meant to be the war to end all wars; these two men were never supposed to meet. One a German Jew, the other a British surgeon. The odds that their paths should cross were next to none - but War defies the expected. It always has, and always will.

From the beaches of Dunkirk to the treacherous slopes of Monte Cassino - this is their story.

WWII AU.

Note: Unfinished

[jetaime-jespere]

I Was Enchanted To Meet You

This is a long time in the works, and a gift to my dear friend @cmhotchniss-blog, who sent me her idea of how Aaron and Emily met. Most of the ideas are hers, and I am forever grateful she let me connect some of the dots. 💓

"I’d like to think this is how we were supposed to meet. For a brief moment in time, that’s all. To steer one another in the right direction, if you will.”

One night for Aaron and Emily has a lasting impact on them both, twenty-four years later.

A mess of metal is what’s left behind on a dusky stretch of Route 66. Shattered glass sparkles like diamonds along the wet asphalt in the darkening sky as night meets the last moments of the day. Smoke curls and hisses around the mangled frame of the SUV, the stillness of the air a juxtaposition to the chaos that wraps around them - a slew of first responders, a few ominous rumbles of thunder, the mounting traffic on the other side of the highway. It’s a cacophony of sounds and sirens, shrill and relentless, that bring them all back to the reality that it can’t get much worse than this.

Read the rest below or on ao3!

There’s shouting - so much shouting - the frantic and panicked voices from the normally imperturbable team as one of their own is pulled from the passenger seat, limp and unresponsive. It only took seconds for things to go horribly wrong. Accidents were never supposed to happen, and yet here they were, helplessly surrounding a team of paramedics who were just a little too quiet in their intense focus, their faces stretched a little too thin, a little too grey, as they bent over Emily.

Her speech is slurred; her eyes flutter and blink weakly as they fight to keep her conscious and alert, rattling off blood pressure numbers with thinly veiled concern. They abruptly push JJ to the side, curtly demanding the need for more space to work, bark directions to the hospital, and start preparing to move her into the ambulance.

On the other side, a hand with a set of bitten down nails grapples for purchase at Dave’s shirt, fingers wrapping around the folds of expensive fabric to pull him closer in one last moment of semi lucidity. With a fading grasp Emily drags him down close enough to whisper something inaudible in his ear, words meant for only him to hear. The older man frowns, eyebrows furrowing with confusion as she falls unconscious, the last lick of light disappearing behind the trees.

____

“Dad, are you sleeping?”

Aaron’s eyes snap open a little too quickly, the bowl of popcorn nearly spilling into his lap when he jumps to attention. The voice, a familiar one, is insistent, as if it’s not the first time he’s said his name in the last few minutes. “No,” he says quickly and he’s not entirely sure who he’s reassuring. “No. I was just -”

“Let me guess,” Jack scoffs, taking a large handful from his own, much larger bowl of popcorn in his lap. “Just nodded off.”

“I’m paying attention,” Aaron attempts weakly as Jack laughs under his breath and shakes his head.

“I’ve heard that before.” His son reaches for the remote to rewind the last ten minutes of the scene he’d missed, still laughing. “This is what … the third week in a row?”  While he’s right, Jack doesn’t seem bothered. The years away have made him wise beyond his years, with a patience not often possessed by hormonal teenage boys who spend most of their time with a screen in their face. Aaron often thinks his son inherited the best of Haley - her patience, for starters. He resembles her too, and every now and then, looking at Jack is like looking into a window of the past. A past that could have been a fantasy, for now it seems like so far gone.

“Something like that,” Aaron mumbles. It’s true. In the four months they’ve lived in the quaint Philadelphia suburbs of Chester County, an idyllic place without the Main Line housing prices, adjustment has taken on a new meaning once again. Gone are the fake identities, the constant checking and double checking of doors and windows, the frequent looks over their shoulders, the unsettling notion that it might not end - that this might, unfairly, be their reality. He knows they’d go to the end of the earth to find Scratch - they’d done it before to find Foyet, then Doyle. They fought monsters before, but somehow, this was different.

There had been a finality in his decision to take Jack and go into Witsec. His final act to name Emily as Unit Chief was an easy one, and while it didn’t lessen the blow of the circumstances in which he and Jack left, in a flurry of panic, reminiscent of one his son experienced once before, it gave him a semblance of peace he wasn’t expecting. A little bit of reprieve, the ability to sever ties that may never be rebuilt, to no fault of their own. The cruel and unusual situation was one that they always risked with the nature of their work, one that was always a distant possibility.

In the quiet moments, he thinks of her. The what ifs and the whys. Everything between them that was said, and what never was. What he’s never told anyone is just how long he’s thought of her in one way or another, the one night they shared together, years ago, tucked neatly away in his mind to save for nights when he wondered just how things got to be this way.

“Come on, Dad,” Jack laughs. “At least try to make it through this movie. You said you wanted to see this one.”

With a hint of guilt as his obvious disinterest, Aaron sits up a bit straighter on the couch, grips the popcorn bowl in his hands, locking his eyes on the television. The plot of the movie is already lost on him, despite it being a topic of conversation for the last several days. “Just play the movie, Jack.” He stifles a yawn into his fist and valiantly attempts to focus his attention on the screen.

Aaron is dozing when he’s interrupted again; this time by his phone vibrating on the table. He doesn’t miss Jack’s eyes flickering over to the phone. “It’s just like old times,” he sighs. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

The name on the screen is the very last he expects to see at such an hour in the middle of the week. Aaron frowns, the phone cradled in his hands as the phone vibrates insistently. It’s the familiar push and pull of guilt he feels when his eyes shift between his son and the phone again, an unexpected window into a life he long left behind. The phone keeps ringing, immediately following the first unanswered call. Not a good sign, he thinks.

“Dad?”

“I need to take this, Jack,” Aaron says quickly. It’s late enough that this is anything but a casual phone call. The blanket is tossed aside and the popcorn already forgotten. He barely hears Jack’s half-hearted protest as the phone crackles static and then connects. The voice on the other end speaks first, his tone clouded with thinly veiled fear.

“Aaron.”

“Dave.” His tone is equally clipped, even and steady even as the phone is held tightly in his hand, waiting for whatever news is about to come.

“Aaron, you need to get to Prince William Medical Center as soon as you can.” It’s the urgency in Dave’s voice that unnerves him; it sets off every warning bell in his head. His normally unflappable, at times annoyingly rational friend sounds harried and exhausted, as if it’s already been the longest of nights, as if making this very phone call was a last resort. “It’s Emily.”

Emily .

The words reverberate through his head, the implications tear through his chest like a series of spears. He knew it wasn’t good, but he didn’t expect this. “What happened?” But years of experience and unbridled heartache have steeled his nerves, tested his resolve time and time again. He should be used to this by now - bad news that haunts those he loves. But the fear is like a vice, a cold stab that wraps itself around his mind and back again.

“There was an accident.” Dave begins. It’s been a few years since he’s seen him, but through the phone Aaron can see the lines on his forehead that have certainly deepened by now, perhaps a few have been added over time as the years add up.

“Accident? What kind of accident?”

He barely listens as Dave recounts the last few hours in excruciating detail. They were on a case - local - Reston - on their way back to Quantico. A poorly timed summer storm made visibility terrible, rendering driving nearly impossible. They were sideswept by another SUV, the impact sending them careening into the median on 66 just outside of Woodbridge. It sounds like anyone’s worst nightmare - airbags deployed, the windshield shattered upon impact, the entire hood a mangled mess of metal as the car careened to a stop, the threatening hiss of the engine.

But the totaled car was the very least of their problems.

“She’s in critical condition, Aaron,” Dave says carefully, as if it’s only part of the truth, as if somehow it’s even graver than this. “She’s unconscious.” It doesn’t sound good - her head hit the window on impact, the rest of Dave’s news confirms his worst fears - a likely head injury, the extent of which they don’t know.

It doesn’t make sense. It seems like some kind of sick, ill joke - a nightmare he’ll wake up from, only to find Jack having devoured both bowls of popcorn and the credits of the movie he never actually watched rolling. “What aren’t you telling me Dave?”

“I think you’d want to be here, Aaron. It … it could go either way at this point.” Dave’s voice is so heavy, something Aaron isn’t used to. His friend was typically the voice of reason, the one he went to for assurance when things seemed to be spiraling out of control - something he did many times over. And now the tables were turned to their side, a cruel twist of fate. It takes no convincing; he’s already reaching for his jacket on the hook by the door, grappling for an umbrella shoved unceremoniously in a closet somewhere closeby.

“I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

…

“Mendoza is on his way.,” JJ says quietly as she rounds the corner with two cups of coffee in her hands. “ He just called me.”

“That might complicate things.” Dave wrings his hands and paces the tiny hallway. “Who told him?” He asks curiously. It hadn’t been long since Emily had shown up in his office one night, shoulders heavy as she relayed the news of their breakup. Dave is no stranger to the failures of love - having been thrice divorced himself. Sometimes timing was to blame, other times it was priorities. In their case it was commitment, or lack thereof, things fizzling out and hasty goodbyes, half-hearted assurances of keeping in touch, that one will call the other. Yet Dave isn’t exactly surprised to hear the news. Despite their challenges, Mendoza had been all but enamored with Emily, in awe of her at times. He wasn’t a stupid man; he wasn’t surprised when she didn’t follow him to Colorado. There was always something else that stood in her way. He just never knew exactly what.

“Word travels fast.”

“Aaron is on his way.” After a long pause, Dave scrapes a hand across his face, exhaustion bleeding through the cracks of age. “I just called him.”

JJ only nods and stares into Emily’s room with a pensive expression. “What do we tell them?”

“We tell them what we know. Hope for the best. That's all we can do.”

...

The storm takes the humidity with it, a soft chilly breeze spreading through the darkness. Aaron hurries through the hospital doors, charging past the triage nurse towards the elevators. He’s only vaguely aware of the other man that wedges himself past the doors just in the nick of time. He looks just as distracted as Aaron feels, eyes distant -worlds away - and lost in his own thoughts as he offers a quick smile, fists shoved in jacket pockets.

“What floor?” Aaron offers with a tight smile.

“The ICU.”

He nods and pushes just one button, indicating that they’re in fact going to the same place.

“I’m sorry.” The other man nods his head in solidarity, noticing the single illuminated circle on the panel, shuffles his feet, checks his watch and hangs his head. The phone in his pocket buzzes; he checks it with a resigned sigh. Aaron feels a touch of sympathy for him, wonders just what brings him there.

Except he doesn’t have to wonder much longer, because not only is Dave waiting when the doors open, but he clearly knows whoever Aaron just shared the elevator with. And judging by the way Dave’s eyebrows lift just enough at the sight of them both, practically side by side, something tells him there’s more to the story than just a simple coincidence.

“I see you’ve met?” Dave cocks his head to the side, scrubs his chin with his hand thoughtfully. “I wish it wasn’t under these circumstances.”

“What the hell happened?” The man beside Aaron demands, a little more forcefully this time.

“So you haven’t met.”

“What the hell is going on, Dave?” Aaron snaps first, his patience starting to wane. The last three hours of travel have already started to catch up with him. It’s been years since he’s had to channel his feelings into something more stoic and taciturn. It doesn’t return as easily this time. He tells himself it’s because of age and time, yet the nagging voice in his head says it’s something else entirely.

“Andrew Mendoza, meet Aaron Hotchner. The former chief of the BAU. Hotch, this is Andrew Mendoza. Mendoza was the Special Agent in Charge of DC’s Field Office. He consulted with the BAU on a few local cases about a year ago.”

“Was?” Aaron questions, quickly putting together what Dave doesn’t tell him about Andrew Mendoza. There’s only one reason why he’d be there - a reason he didn’t anticipate. He has to swallow the bitter pang of regret that rises in his throat. It shouldn’t exist at all, but a familiar feeling that has lingered just within his reach whenever he thought of Emily. The chances they never took, the timing that seemed to elude them for one reason or another. Time. It had never been on their side.

“The Denver Field Office offered me a promotion last month. My daughter and I are moving out to Colorado in a few weeks.”

“Congratulations,” Aaron says stiffly as he offers his hand. It’s obvious why he’s here - the same reason Aaron is. “I’ve heard good things about Denver.” There’s something about the news that satisfies him.

“I’m sorry to meet you under these circumstances.” Mendoza glances at Aaron, then Dave, then back at Aaron again. “But what the hell happened tonight?”

“JJ didn’t tell you?”

“Just that there was an accident.”

Dave presses his mouth into a thin line, relaying the story with such tact that Aaron knows it’s an abridged version, a slightly less terrible rendition of what happened back on the highway. “We were right outside of Woodbridge. On our way back from a case in Reston. Visibility was awful. It happened so fast. Emily must have hit her head on impact. She lost consciousness shortly after the ambulance arrived. They’re considering surgery to relieve the pressure in her brain.”

Dave pauses, letting the news sink in, taking a deep breath of his own to compose his frayed nerves. “There’s a chance of brain damage but they won’t know more until after she regains consciousness.” His gaze shifts between them both, gauging their reactions.

“When will that be?”

“There’s no easy way to tell. Could be hours after the surgery. Or days. She’s not breathing on her own. It’s going to be a while before we know anything.” He repeats the doctors’ words as calmly as he can. Dave’s typically unflappable demeanor is strained; the weariness laces through his voice.

“How did this happen?” It’s Mendoza who speaks up this time, clearly distraught and searching for words of his own. He almost looks embarrassed by his uncharacteristic show of emotion.

“It was an accident,” Dave repeats as calmly as he can, as if he’s practiced this speech in his head before giving it. “No one is to blame.”

The air seems to thicken around them, the reality setting in that while it’s already been a long night, it’s only just beginning.

“We’re here because of Emily. It’s a waiting game now, as long as it might be. May as well make yourselves comfortable. There’s a waiting room just down the hallway and a cafeteria on the sixth floor, if you want some coffee. It might eat a hole in your stomach, but it’s something.”

The room around him starts to spin. Aaron can’t remember the last conversation they had - something hasty by phone, he suspects, in the days of time differences and small talk. Never awkward, but something always lingering beneath the surface. Their conversations were all about what wasn’t said - subtext, layers of awareness only they possessed.

“One other thing,” Dave adds, as if on afterthought, a fleeting thought he nearly forgot, nothing more than a passing thought. “Before she lost consciousness, she was rambling incessantly about apple pie.” Dave adds, as if on afterthought, eyes narrowing in confusion. “The best apple pie in DC. Any idea what that could be about?”

Aaron stiffens, his jaw flexing at Dave’s seemingly innocuous mention in the midst of everything else. It’s been years since he’s last seen her and another fifteen since that night, one he’s never actually spoken of out loud. It could have been a lifetime ago, a distant memory. It feels so foreign at this point he could have dreamed it. Surely he misheard - there’s no way she’d be thinking of that. He pinches the bridge of his nose, stifles a yawn into his fist. It’s about to be a very long night. “Where is she? Is she in surgery yet?”

“Not yet. She’s just down the hall.” In the distance a monitor beeps then an alarm starts to go off, punctuated by the efficient scramble of nurses. It reminds him just how much he hates hospitals, and Aaron breathes a heavy sigh of relief when they don’t go into Emily’s room.

“You can see her, you know.” Dave offers gently, sensing the growing tension. “One visitor at a time.”

It’s somehow decided, without officially being decided out loud, that Aaron will go in first. Mendoza quietly mentions something about needing to call his daughter. Not for the first time this evening, Aaron is actually grateful Jack can hold his own at home for a little while, that they’re long past those years of constant check-ins. A simple text will do in a few hours’ time. And he steels his nerves with a few deep breaths before slipping into the room, the silence punctuated by the staccato beeping of monitors and a ventilator.

She’s like a ghost, translucent almost - amidst the machines and wires. He remembers a time, years ago, when the roles were reversed. Aaron wonders if she felt the same clench of fear in her gut, the awful feeling of helplessness that came along with being at someone’s bedside in a hospital. He wonders if she felt the same desperation clinging to every nerve in her body that things would be okay.

“Hey,” he says, sinking into the hard plastic chair at the side of the bed. “It’s been awhile.” Deep down he knows she won’t - can’t - respond. But there was a moment of hope - a tiny one - flimsy and built on nothing - that maybe she would move or something to indicate she heard him. There isn’t one.

Aaron swallows the rising lump in this throat, thick and pressing right down into his lungs. “I really need you to wake up, Emily.”

...

“When’s the big move?” Dave presses Mendoza gently, asking all the questions Emily never gave answers to. He folds his arms across his chest, unable to tear his gaze from the scene before him. From his place behind the window, he watches Aaron lower himself onto a chair on shaky legs, taking a few steadying breaths as he settles beside her. He rests a weary head on his fist.

“Two weeks. Keely wanted to finish her soccer season.” Mendoza crosses his arms over his chest as his eyes follow Dave’s.

Dave nods without really comprehending the words. “You’ll have to let us know when you’re both settled out there.”

“Yeah.”

Dave breaks an awkward silence. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out between you two.”

“Sometimes it doesn’t.” By now, Mendoza’s full attention is on the scene before them both, face solemn and stiff. “What’s the story between them?” His eyes narrow ever so slightly, shades of suspicion cloud his features and his shoulders tense. Years of profiling make Dave keenly aware of these subtle changes in his behavior. He’s questioning it .

Dave shrugs. “Friends? Colleagues?” By now, Aaron is brushing Emily’s arm with his thumb, and if he isn’t mistaken, swears he sees his lips moving too. “Anything else and your guess is as good as mine.”

It seems to smooth things over for a few moments, even as something else is planted in his mind. Something he never considered at all.

…

“Have you been to Boathouse Row yet?”

It’s an attempt to make small talk as they sit down; it doesn’t get past Aaron, who stays silent, completely ignoring the question.

“So what is it you’re not telling me?” Dave passes a flimsy styrofoam cup over the small table.

“Now might not be the best time, Dave,” Aaron retorts, rolling a tiny cup of creamer in his fingers.

“We’ve got nothing but time, Aaron. Surgeon says things could take hours. She might even be conscious immediately after. And you’re not driving back to Philly anytime soon.”

He has a point . “She was talking about when we first met.” He sighs heavily as he spins the cup around in his hands. “It was a long time ago.”

“At the BAU?” Dave knits his eyebrows in confusion.

Aaron rubs his eyes tiredly. By now any movement feels like effort, the space behind his eyes starting to throb with an oncoming headache and exhaustion. “Before that.”

“You mean you knew - “ Dave stops, his coffee ignored and interest piqued. “You two knew each other before?”

“We met years ago. Would be at least twenty now.” He’s too tired to do the math of exactly how long it’s been. “We met when I was working for her mother one summer in DC.”

“I certainly had no idea.”

“No one did. It never really came up.”

“By choice or on purpose?” Dave quips, his eyes just a touch brighter than they were moments before. He chuckles when Aaron just stares right back, the hint of a smile hidden in his eyes. “So what’s the story?”

His expression is wistful, as if he were dusting off a long held memory. “It was kind of an accident.”

__

Twenty-Four Years Ago

DC

Not for the first time that evening, Aaron checks his watch discreetly and sighs into his fist. It’s only eight-thirty; who knows how long this thing will last. It wasn’t that he agreed to this. It’s practically a rite of passage when working for an Ambassador, or so he’s been told -working one of the many extravagant parties and benefit dinners that were practically part of her job description. The ballroom is full of DC’s political elite - congressmen and senators, the Secretary of State and the Attorney General. Rumor had it the Vice President would be making an appearance. For that reason alone, security was heightened, every egress monitored, yet he’s never felt more invisible in a room full of people.

Aaron spots her accidentally, but something tells him she’s not trying to blend in. The tall figure on the opposite side of the room is entirely too young to be one of them , yet she mingles easily with a champagne flute between her fingers. She’s wearing an elegant black dress with a high neck and open back. It shows off delicate shoulder blades that jut out like wings when she moves. He isn’t the only one staring.

She’s the Ambassador’s daughter - Emily . Aaron has only heard of her from the others, her name being uttered in exasperation when one of the agents finds her breaking protocol yet again - sneaking out and in at all hours of the night, slipping an endless parade of friends past the entrance logs without proper verification. He’s never spoken a word to her; he knows almost nothing about her except that she’s a student at Yale, supposedly speaks multiple languages, and has a knack for causing trouble.

They haven’t spoken a word to each other, but her eyes meet his across the square in the middle of the room that is supposedly a dance floor. His mouth goes dry and he immediately looks away when Emily excuses herself from whatever conversation she’s immersed in, only to look back seconds later to find her sauntering directly towards him , effortlessly maneuvering through the crowd.

Aaron nods a polite hello, attempting to keep his expression neutral when she’s finally closed the gap between them both.

“You know,” Emily says with amusement, eyes flicking over him. “You could at least try not to look so miserable.”

“Who said anything about being miserable?”

“It’s practically part of the job requirements if you work for my mother. Besides, you’ve been wearing the same expression since this thing started.” When she catches his look of sheer bewilderment and mild annoyance, she laughs softly. “Trust me. I’ve been to enough of these things to know what I’m looking for.”

“Are you spying on me?” He glances around, wondering just where the Ambassador even is amidst a sea of black suits. He should be keeping a close eye, after all. He strains his neck a little, scanning the crowd purposefully until he sees the woman that strongly resembles the miniature version of her in front of him.

“No. I’m just observant.” Without missing a beat, Emily waves to someone - a Congressman Aaron immediately recognizes from the news - something about a scandal involving a rather young intern under a desk - but he hadn’t been paying too much attention to remember all the details. “He’s such a scumbag,” she adds quietly without any elaboration.

He senses her reticence immediately; he wonders just how she knows all of this, if he should push, if at all “Isn’t that part of their job description to a degree?”

“Some of them,” Emily mutters. “But he’s one of the worst.”

“So I’ve heard,” Aaron murmurs, tearing his eyes away from the crowd to get a better look at her. Up close she’s even more stunning, with sharp cheekbones and a perfectly symmetrical face, her smile wide and eyes like dark orbs. “I’m sorry, have we met before?”

“I’ve seen you around. You’re the new guy.”

“New-ish. I started in March.” It comes out a bit more dejectedly than it should, but it’s hard to hide the disdain he feels for it all. Things have been far from easy over the last few months. It’s a mindless shuffle of one foot in front of the other, days that blend together similar to the ones before, with the slightest hope that a few more weeks of patience might wield a change.

“New to me.” She’s only been home for the summer a few weeks at most, so he can count on one hand the number of times he’s actually seen her. “So what’s your story?”

“My story?”

“You stick out like a sore thumb.” She cracks a grin at her own remark. “You’re too tense.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Agent …”

“Hotchner,” he fills in quickly.

“Agent Hotchner, you certainly wouldn’t be the first security detail to use this as a stepping stone to a different career. You’re all just biding time until something better comes along.” She’s so matter of fact, so assured, it’s as if she’s had this very conversation with every other agent in the room at one point or another. “It’s usually the quiet ones. They have less to prove.”

“Are we that transparent?”

“Some of you. And I can’t say I blame you. This place surely isn’t a means to an end.”

“What does your mother think of your beliefs?”

“My mother knows exactly what I think of her career and everything that goes along with it. It’s what’s gotten us to this point, actually.”

“And what point might that be?” He’s only heard of some of the epic arguments between the two of them, the harshness of their voices reverberating around the Ambassador’s office or some ornately decorated living room. The bitter clashes of two strong wills, hidden behind the fact that just maybe they were more similar than different.

“A story for a different time,” Emily says smoothly. “Can’t exactly talk about it here.”

“You’re full of stories, aren’t you?” Aaron deduces but she isn’t even paying attention anymore as she scans the crowd. He can see the wheels start to turn in her head, the flicker of an idea materializing somewhere. She turns back, this time a grin stuck to her lips. “What?” He asks reluctantly.

“Let’s get out of here.” Emily bats her thickly lashed, heavily lined eyes. “This thing is going nowhere fast. Besides, you look like you could use a break. “How long have you been on?”

“And go where?”

“Anywhere,” she says casually with a wink as she plucks a champagne flute from a nearby tray, downing it quickly. “I probably shouldn’t drive, but you can.” It’s accompanied with a flippant toss of hair over her shoulder, an expectant purse of her lips.

It’s certainly not the smartest idea or the most prudent, but something tells him Emily could care less about prudence and image. “I could be suspended for unauthorized use of a government-issued vehicle.” Not to mention, having his boss’s daughter in said government vehicle with him, or completely leaving his assignment altogether. He remembers skimming over the terms of employment months ago, specifically the section about fraternization with members of the Ambassador’s Family.

“Who said anything about one of theirs?” She looks almost bored now, tapping her fingers against the empty flute. “That’s no fun anyway. They have trackers on them. For security purposes.” She forms air quotes with her fingers. “We wouldn’t get far.”

He’s about to ask her how she even possesses that knowledge when he feels her hand on his waist, dipping into the creases of his jacket like a lover would. It doesn’t phase her, and while normally his reflexes would spring into quick action, he’s glued into place.

“You have a car don’t you?” Emily unabashedly pats his pocket, feeling for keys.

He opens his mouth to object, but she’s too fast. She grins with satisfied smirk, a triumphant click of her tongue as he stiffens awkwardly when they jingle against her hand. “You aren’t a great liar, Agent Hotchner.”

“Aaron,” he says somewhat stiffly, resignedly. He’s doing his damn best to keep his eyes centered on the ballroom but it’s getting harder and harder to concentrate on the task at hand. The scent of perfume - something undoubtedly expensive - lingers and it makes him dizzy even if he hasn’t had a sip to drink. “And I didn’t lie.”

“Aaron.” His name rolls off her tongue thoughtfully. “Aaron,” she repeats, as if it’s the first time she’s ever heard it. “I never understood why there were two A’s. What do you do with the second one?”

His head spins to keep up with her, how her mind somehow bounces from one thought to the next with seemingly little direction. “Never gave it much thought myself, actually.” From the corner of his eye he catches one of the other agents giving him a quizzical, perhaps slightly jealous, eye roll. It’s a bad idea to entertain, but one he can’t ignore. Emily is staring at him, eyes sparkling, with the slightest touch of longing. Longing for what he isn’t sure, but whatever it is, it wouldn’t be found in the middle of the opulent ballroom.“What do you have in mind?”

“I’ve been told of a place not too far from here,” she begins slowly, a smile on her face at his gradual acquiesce. “A diner that supposedly has the best apple pie in DC.”

“Apple pie?” Just how much has she had to drink?

“I’m starving ,” she offers with a hand pressed to her flat stomach. Aaron’s eyes follow, lingering up and down on her narrow frame.

“They’re about to serve dinner,” He says lamely, shaking his head to ensure he heard her correctly. Waiters have started to circle the room with large serving trays balanced precariously above their heads, passing around the plates that he guesses must cost a few hundred dollars a head, maybe more. The crowds have thinned as more guests take their seats.

Emily shrugs with disinterest. “Once you’ve been to one of these things you’ve been to them all. Besides, this is when things start to get really insufferable.”

“Is that so?”

“Someone will start talking,” Emily drawls sardonically, surveying the crowd starting to take their seats at previously assigned tables - tables he could probably rattle off by name if asked. “Make some big speech promoting their campaign trying to get reelected or whatever. Then they all will. They love hearing themselves talk.”

“Part of the job, I guess.” He stares, unsure of what to say next. Her attitude towards politics is the complete opposite of that of her mother. His interactions with his boss have been somewhat limited; he doubts if she even remembers his first name. Yet he’s seen the way Elizabeth Prentiss revels in a world seemingly dominated by men, a woman in a league of her own. He wonders just how much the Ambassador has sacrificed; wonders if her daughter might be amongst that list. It would certainly explain their tenuous relationship.

“So what do you say? Surely you don’t want to sit around listening to a bunch of old guys spout a bunch of half truths to line their pockets?” She seems unbothered yet again, almost amused by the sight in front of her - as if her premonition of how the night would go is coming true.

There’s nothing he wants less. “How do you suppose I get out of this? I’m still on the clock, you know.”

“I’ll leave that up to you.” Emily sets the champagne flute on a nearby serving tray and spins on her heel, sauntering back towards the center of the ballroom. “I’ll be outside of the South Gate when you figure it out.”

…

In the end, he makes up an excuse to leave. It’s not exactly convincing and the agent in charge doesn’t exactly believe him when he feigns an emergency - food poisoning. But Aaron has always had an exceptionally good poker face, grimacing just enough to make it look questionable, and the other agent curtly nods, grunting something about having enough security for the evening, and making up the hours later in the week. It falls on deaf ears - he’s already out the doors of the security office, a small grin playing at the corners of his lips as he strides across the asphalt driveways with his back toward the house.

Sure enough, Emily is waiting for him, finishing the rest of a cigarette when he pulls around to the South Gate. He keeps his taillights off; the less attention he draws to himself the better.

His car has seen better days, the leather seats worn smooth and the stereo outdated, the steering wheel permanently indented from the grip of his own two hands, scuff marks and faded carpets. But it’s well maintained, and Emily smiles appreciatively when he holds the passenger side door open, then explains how to adjust the seat, just in case . She doesn’t seem to notice at all, just unceremoniously tugs her long skirt out of the way of the door and kicks off her heels.

“Fucking things,” she grumbles. The heels are sharp as knives, ridiculously impractical yet Aaron can’t help but picture her wearing them in a dress much shorter than the one she currently has on. He shakes his head, reminding himself not to go there, because the reality is, she’s still his boss’s daughter, and if anyone were to see them, he’d most definitely be written up, maybe worse, for taking her off property without following protocol. But she’s close enough to touch, her arm a gentle weight against his own on the center console.

“So,” Aaron asks, his voice barely audible. He shifts the car into reverse, breath hitching when his knuckles brush against her hand. “Just where is this diner you speak so highly of?”

“Silver Spring.”

“I thought you said DC.”

“It’s close enough.” Emily tucks a long piece of hair behind her ear with a roll of her eyes. “Just trust me.”

It’s the way she says it that makes him wonder if she would do the same for him. Aaron grips the wheel in silence as the cool night air seeps through the open windows. He catches her shiver and is about to offer his jacket when she breaks the silence.

“Make a right up at the light, and then it’s a quick left.” Emily shifts in the passenger seat. Her fingers twitch as if she were still holding a cigarette between them; she tucks her hand against her cheek daintily. She’s very much aware the passenger side is nearly spotless - nothing to indicate someone sits there frequently. No wayward sunglasses or a forgotten piece of jewelry belonging to a significant other. She straightens the wrinkled fabric of her dress and lowers her eyes.She’d had him pegged wrong - certainly he’d had it all figured out, the well intended nature that comes along with a mostly idyllic existence. She imagined a naive wife or girlfriend completely enamored with him, both parties working to make ends meet for bigger and better things - not happiness, for one. That they had in spades. But maybe a white picket fence, a dog and a baby or two one day.

Instead, he seems lonely and guarded, a choice he was forced to make. Circumstances, maybe, she thinks as the traffic light ahead blinks from a glowing green to yellow, to red. It shines a little brighter than usual, a universal warning everyone should understand . It makes her shiver again.

“Here. Take my jacket” The red light gives him the chance to shrug out of the confines of his suit jacket, which he hands over. He palms the wheel a little tighter when she wraps herself into it, the fabric draping over her like a shield.

“This is the place?” Aaron studies the gaudy exterior of the diner, hard to miss and yet, the type of place you wouldn’t give a second thought. The fluorescent lighting nearly blinds him, and he’s somewhat surprised to see through the windows that multiple tables are full despite the late hour. He can hardly conceal his disbelief. “How’d you learn about this place?”

“Word gets around,” Emily says lightly as she slips her shoes back on, wincing slightly when she stands upright, nearly enveloped by his jacket. “I’ve learned not to judge a book by its cover. Maybe you should do the same.”

They find a booth in the back, tucked away from the clamor of the bustling kitchen and constant jingle of the doors. Again they’re left with nothing but silence, a few wayward glances, and two plastic coated menus between them. The haggard waitress only nods abruptly at their order - two black coffees, one with splenda and one without, one slice of apple pie, and two forks.

“You think she thinks we’re a couple?”

“I’m sure she has a lot more on her mind than us.” Aaron twists the paper straw wrapper between his fingers and studies her across the table. What he’s not expecting is to realize she’s doing the same thing - analyzing his body language with a degree of precision that matches his own, an expression that hides what she’s thinking. He wonders if she’s practiced it over time. She wears his jacket like a coat of armor yet she’s curious, the mundane quietness of the diner a stark contrast to their initial surroundings a short time ago.

“How does someone like you end up working for my mother?” Emily asks out of nowhere, direct and forward without an ounce of hesitation. It could be mistaken for an interrogation, he muses.

“Someone like me?”

“Decent. With manners. Not some macho guy with a little man complex or some baggage like that who gets off swinging his gun around.” She blows the straw wrapper across the table; it hits him square in the shoulder and stays here until he flicks it off. She doesn’t seem to notice as the waitress sets down their much anticipated order amidst a promise to come back with some cream for the coffee.

It’s his turn to laugh; he knows exactly what type she’s referring to. He could name more of them than he has fingers. “Trust me, it wasn’t supposed to turn out this way.”

Emily carves out a large bite of apple pie with her fork, eyes closing with delight as it disappears between her lips, along with a delicate moan. “This is so good.” She pushes the pie plate towards him. “So then what was it?”

“Bad timing, for starters.” Aaron stabs his fork into the jagged slice of pie, cuts off a bite for himself. His stomach growls; it’s been hours since the early dinner he’d scarfed down behind the wheel on his way back to work the shift he just abandoned. “You’re right,” he says around a mouthful of apple and pastry crust. “That’s really good.”

“Told you.” She proudly lifts her shoulders, momentarily triumphant before she digs in for another bite. But she also looks expectant, ready for an answer, even with another forkful of pie. He supposes he owes her one.

“I wanted to join the FBI,” Aaron begins slowly. It comes to him that she’s only the second person he’s ever told any of this to. He supposed talking about it would make it real, take it from a pipe dream to something that could irrevocably fail right in front of his own eyes.

“The big leagues, huh?” She waves her fork in a circle, and it takes a moment for him to realize she isn’t totally shocked. “I could see that, actually, now that you mention it. You have the poker face for it, at least.” Emily gives a little grin, one that meets her eyes. “But that didn’t happen?”

“Had the application filled out and everything. Was going to send it in.”

“So what happened?”

“My girlfriend … She didn’t like the idea. The recruitment process takes months and basic training even longer. Close to a year sometimes. Haley wanted me to do something a little more traditional. Wanted me home at 6 for dinner and around on the weekends.” He takes another bite of pie, partially to gather his thoughts, and to let Emily give her own.

“Girlfriend, huh?”

“Well.” The fork in his hand feels heavy all of a sudden; he sets it down with a clatter. “We’re taking a break right now.”

She takes in his words, chuckles a little bit. “I’m a little disappointed in myself. I definitely had you all wrong.”

“You keep saying that.” It’s more of a question than a statement, a curiosity he can’t contain.

“I took you as settled. Happy. With Haley. ” His girlfriend’s name rolls off her tongue; hearing it sounds strange, like she’s saying something she shouldn’t.

“I’m ... figuring things out. We’re figuring things out.”

“Do you love her? Does she love you?” Emily asks directly without hesitation. “If you do, there shouldn’t be much to figure out.”

He stiffens. “I don’t … not love her. But we want different things. At some point, you have to be honest with each other, right? When you can’t make it work, what do you do?”

“I’m definitely not the person to ask.” She laughs but there isn’t any humor in it, more of a resigned sadness if he looks close enough through the rough edges hidden by carefully curated appearance. “Relationships aren’t something I’ve had a ton of luck with.”

“Maybe you’re dating the wrong people.”

“Maybe.” She looks around the diner, rests her chin in her hands. “I’m pretty directionless myself at the moment, if it makes you feel better.”

“It doesn’t, but thank you.” He takes a sip of coffee, more for something to do with his hands than a need for it. He wants to know more, wants to ask just what could possibly make her directionless. Someone who seemingly had it all.

“Sounds like we’re both lost.” There’s a dreamlike tone to her voice, as if they’re sharing a secret.

“We don’t have to be.”

“If I keep going at this rate, I’ll be a bored socialite by 30 throwing cocktail parties every night and getting drunk by the pool by day.”

“Who says?”

“No one has to say it. It’s … expected of me, I think?”

“Is that so?”

“I’m certainly not following in my mother’s footsteps into politics.” She scoffs. There’s contempt in her voice, for what he deduces is years of being put second, something she never asked for but received over and over again. “What else is there for me to do? Someone has to carry on the family tradition somehow.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know,” Emily says, dragging her fork through some of the remaining bits of pie on the plate. She flicks a crumb into the air.  “I’ve never really had a home , you know. Most of my life has been spent overseas. Just staying in one place for a while would be nice.”

“I always wanted to get away.” Aaron laments. “From Manassas at least.”

“Well, that’s understandable. You aren’t missing much there, or so I’ve heard.” She stirs a spoon into her coffee to work in the mess of splenda packets she’s dumped in.

He watches the liquid swirl, her mezmirzation at it. Something comes to him - something he’s always wanted to know. “Is it true you speak four languages?”

Emily looks up from her coffee, temporarily distracted by his question. “Six, actually. French, Italian, Spanish, Arabic, Greek, and some Russian.” She ticks them off on her fingers nonchalantly as if she were counting inanimate objects.

He does a double take. “Six? I can barely handle English.”

“It’s always been easy for me. I just wish I knew what to do with it, you know?”

“When I applied, I remember seeing that the FBI needs linguists. People with language experience to work overseas.” He takes his own fork to the last remaining bits of the pie, watching her face carefully for a reaction. She’s almost unreadable; he can’t discern just what she’s thinking.

She laughs - not the reaction he expected. “You know, applying for the FBI would absolutely piss my mother off entirely. She would hate it if I did that. Kind of makes me want to do it.”

“She and Haley should meet. I’m sure they’d have lots to talk about.”

“You want to hear what I think?” Emily says after a few long moments, the coffee and the pie that once sat between them are now gone. “I think you should go for it. The FBI. Do it and don’t look back. And call your girlfriend. Let her talk, but tell her how you feel.”

“And?”

“If she comes back, then you know it’s meant to be.”

...

“Never even knew this place existed,” Aaron says, lingering at Emily’s elbow as they pick their way across the pebbled driveway of the diner. She’s a little unsteady on the heels now, not unsurprising given the late hour and the time they spent sitting down.

“Who knew a diner in the middle of Silver Spring Maryland would have such great pie?” Dangling from her wrist is a to-go bag with an extra slice of pie for the morning - the waitress had kindly given her one on the house - the leftovers from the day before.

“I thought New Jersey was the diner capital of the world,” Aaron muses. “New Jersey is all about their diners and traffic circles.”

“And Bruce Springsteen,” Emily adds pointedly. “He’s from New Jersey.”

“Him too.” Aaron laughs quietly. The tension in his shoulders mounts; he doesn’t want this to end. He wants to talk to her, wants to keep her there. But the moment feels final. Emily catches the wrist of the hand that reaches out to cup her cheek, wraps her fingers around it. “If things were different -” he starts quietly, looking almost embarrassed.

“I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to go, is it?” Emily leans into the weight of his calloused palm, into the touch of a man that isn’t her own. It feels foreign, like she’s taking something that isn’t hers. “I don’t think that’s in our cards, Aaron. Maybe in a different life.”

The ride back to DC is again silent, save for the crinkling of the paper bag in her lap. Aaron skips the main entrance and the long paved driveway, taking a shortcut around the massive property to the South Gate entrance. Emily side eyes him, looking slightly impressed. “Trying to remain inconspicuous?”

“I think that’s for the best.”

“I’d like to think this is how we were supposed to meet,” she offers as he pulls up to the outside of the South Gate. “For a brief moment in time, that’s all. To steer one another in the right direction, if you will.”

“Maybe.” He tells himself to pull away, curling it back around the steering wheel protectively. “Remember what I told you, Emily.” He watches her reach for her shoes, their moments together dwindling down to seconds. “Don’t live your life on the terms of someone else. Especially your mother. If our paths cross again and you’re a bored socialite throwing cocktail parties, we’ll have to talk.”

She loops some hair behind her ear, gives him a small smile. “If our paths cross again in ten years and you aren’t leading some FBI unit somewhere, I’ll have some words for you as well.” She draws a breath, carefully slips on her shoes. “Thank you for the pie, Aaron.” The creak of the passenger side door is the only thing he hears as she slips away like a ship in the night, not to turn back around.

Aaron watches her disappear across the grass, blending into the deep blue of the early morning, the sky not quite awake but out of the depths of night. She’s a shadowy dark figure amidst the promise of a new day. The clock on the dashboard nears 6:00 AM. The little red numbers glow are a reminder of the inevitable crash that will most definitely come later on. He isn’t 20 anymore, after all. But when he drives away, there’s a sense of renewal, one he can’t explain, but deep down understands.

He hands in his resignation before he can work another shift, and he never does make up the time he promised. Three days after that, he mails a thick packet of papers in a standard manila envelope to the FBI Headquarters in Quantico.

A week after that, he takes out his phone and dials Haley’s number. About thirteen years later, his son comes into the world, wailing and screaming with healthy lungs and a head of dark hair. Haley is tired and beaming, his pride is obvious as the tiny bundle is placed in his arms.

They name the baby Jack.

In some ways, the stars aligned.

He’ll sometimes wonder if Emily’s did too.

…

Present Day

“Why didn’t things ever work out between the two of you?”

Dave’s voice brings him back to reality, out of the daydream he’s held so close to his heart for so many years. It’s jarring at first, a confusing limbo of then and now, past and present blending together for a few long moments. He glances around, the harsh overhead lights glaring bright, the low hum of hospital sounds reverberating through his ears. Along with it comes the reality of why he’s there, and the bitter rush of fear that floods his consciousness.

“Timing.” Aaron spins his now empty coffee cup in his hands. “Even after Haley and I got divorced, it was never the right time.”

“You’re going to blame timing ? That’s the oldest trick in the book.”

“I never wanted to take the risk.” It’s the closest thing he can think of as truth. They built a tentative friendship after a rocky start, something built on mutual respect. His divorce brought new challenges - co parenting amidst a ridiculously stressful career, supporting and leading his team. Emily had always been one to hold her own, a silent backbone of their team, a friend to all of them. He’d relied on her, never wanted to lose what they had in hopes of something else . Ian Doyle had taken her from them all; her return was tense and it didn’t take a profiler to understand that Quantico just wasn’t home to her anymore. He let her walk away, encompassed by a fragile shell of his own tentative happiness, and in the years after she went to London, there was a permanent hole in his heart that never quite mended itself again. “Maybe I should have.”

“Love is a choice, Aaron. It doesn’t just happen. You have to choose to make things work.” Dave leans back in his seat, checks his watch, an eyebrow arching just a bit. “I thought you would have known that by now.”

“You and Krystall made a choice?”

“We still do. Every day we have to choose to love each other. Some days it’s easy. Others, not so much. But you know the best part?”

“I think you’re going to tell me anyway, Dave.”

“It’s never not been worth it, Aaron.” There’s a subtle gleam in his eye that wasn’t there before. “Something tells me you might just feel the same, if you gave it a chance.” Dave fumbles for his phone, patting the pockets of his jeans and then that of his blazer before finally pulling the phone from his breast pocket. He flips it open, his eyes widening at whatever message lights up the tiny screen.

“What is it?” Aaron asks with baited breath.

Dave looks up from his phone. For the first time since all of this began, he looks full of hope. “Emily’s out of surgery.”

…

The surgeon is pleased with the outcome of Emily’s procedure, and the air around them seemingly lightens with each minute he explains the procedure, and its success. The three of them hang on every word he says, asking questions and seeking assurances.

“She should be awake within a few hours. We’ll know more then, but her brain activity is good, and her vitals are strong. Agent Prentiss got very lucky. I have patients who often have a very different outcome.”

The relief is palpable, as if the tension was cut with a knife as they all exchange optimistic smiles and tentative handshakes, while profusely thanking Emily’s surgeon. Aaron excuses himself to call Jack - something he should have done hours ago. “I’m not going far,” he reminds Dave, his words a warning of what to do if anything changes in the next few minutes.

“We’ll be right here.”

Mendoza is shrugging into his jacket and digging for his keys with a look of resignation on his face. He catches Dave’s sideways glance. “I think it’s time I head out, Dave. Please give Emily my best wishes on a quick recovery when she’s discharged.” There’s a change in his voice, one that wasn’t there earlier.

“You’re leaving?” Dave asks curiously. “You aren’t going to stay and see Emily? It shouldn’t be much longer before we can go in.”

“No. I don’t think so.”

“Why?”

Mendoza shakes his head, runs a hand over his scalp. “I learned something tonight. You know when it’s just not meant to be, but you can’t find the reason why?”

Dave nods, a glimmer of understanding appearing in his eyes. “I do. I know it very well, actually.”

“I think I found the why.” His eyes roam around before they finally land on Aaron and Dave’s do too. The phone is still pressed to his ear but he’s still staring right into Emily’s room, never once looking away, even as his mouth moves in conversation to Jack on the other end. “I tried to deny it, so did Emily. But I don’t think her heart ever belonged to me. I think it belonged to him.”

—

Emily finally wakes up a few hours later. Aaron and Dave wait outside the room as she’s tended to by a horde of surgeons and nurses, testing brain function and vital signs, spattering off medical terms with ease. It’s a language only they understand, one Aaron never wants to learn. But their voices are hopeful, they have smiles on their faces as they talk to Emily, assessing her cognition and running tests. She’s a little confused and extremely tired, but awake and alert . Dave is just as relieved to see things appear normal; they’re both very aware of just how lucky they got.

Eventually, they’re finally allowed to see her.

“Do you mind if I … “ Aaron trails off, except he doesn’t need to finish the question.

“Go, Aaron. I take it you have some things you want to get off your chest,” Dave quips. “I’m going to call the others and give them an update. They’ve been waiting awhile.” He departs with a pat of encouragement on the back, a shared moment between them.

Moments later, he’s back in her room, at her side on the same uncomfortable chair from earlier. Her eyes flicker open once again, widening almost impossibly when she sees him. Years of unanswered questions are written on her face in seconds, a shared history fraught with more than what most people experience in a lifetime. But there’s something oddly content there too, as if she woke up from a dream that has somehow materialized in front of her.

“Hey,” Aaron says softly, reaching out with a nervous hand to touch her for the first time in years . He dodges wires and IV lines, finds her fingers with his own and gives a gentle squeeze. “You’re up.”

“You’re here?” Emily blinks with confusion, still making sense of just how she got there in the first place. “But I thought you were .. you and Jack are in Philadelphia. What are you doing here?”

“Of course I’m here,” he says soothingly, ignoring her question. They can talk about that later. “How are you feeling?”

Emily gives a wry grin, slightly distorted and weak, but there. “They asked me who the President of the United States was.”

It’s his turn to smirk. “What did you tell them?”

“To ask me after 45 leaves the Oval Office,” she says without hesitation. “I think I made at least two of them laugh.” But then something comes over her face, the reality of it all setting in. “You came all this way,” she croaks, throat raw from the intubation tube. “How did you know about all of this?”

“You were there for me, remember?” He’s not only talking about Foyet, but all the years she spent at his side. The years they spent doing a dance around one another,  their steps never quite aligning. This time feels like a second chance he never thought he’d get, one he can’t mess up.

“That was a lifetime ago, Aaron. So much has happened since then.” Emily tries to sit upright, pushes herself up about halfway before exhaustion overtakes her. She grumbles in frustration; he shouldn’t smile but he does. It means the Emily he knows, the Emily he fell in love with years ago is somewhere in there.

“Take it easy,” he soothes, adjusting the pillows so she’s more vertical than horizontal. He uses the opportunity to press a kiss against her forehead. He touches his own to hers and murmurs, “That’s something I should have done a long time ago.”

A smile spreads across her face, just as brilliant as the night he met her. She remembers it all, just as well as he does. “Funny how it always seems to take one of us dying to figure things out.”

“What are you talking about?” It’s a morbid thought, one he can’t entertain for long because despite his question, there’s an element of truth to it. He brushes some hair from her eyes and tucks it behind her ear. It’s matted in his fingers and dirty yet he doesn’t even notice. His heart swells, the hand in her hair trails down to her cheek, a thumb against the blush that spreads there. “And by the way, that’s not funny.”

“I’m saying maybe after I get out of this place,” she gestures to the mess of monitors and wires and tubes, “You can ask me out on a date. Finally.”

“Anywhere,” Aaron agrees. He would go anywhere, if it meant he could be with her.

“I know a place in Silver Spring. Supposedly they have the best apple pie in DC.”

[janetbrown711]

“   you’re  doing  great ,   okay ??   i mean it .   ” Wakko yakko

Yakko was glad that Wakko had already climbed to the bottom of the tower by the time he had gathered everything they’d need for their trip to the wishing star and he got to the bottom of the tower, otherwise he was pretty sure he would have had a heart attack from the anxiety. The tower was at least 50 feet tall for crying out loud- had it been any other circumstances, Yakko would’ve refused to even consider the thought.

Still, he made it, and all was well... for the moment anyhow. Yakko knew that “okay”ness wasn’t likely to last, especially if any of the guards noticed them slipping out with a sled in toe-

Okay, maybe this was a terrible idea... but they had to get there somehow. Yakko was not going to give up the opportunity of a lifetime just because it was a little stupid. They could finally, finally be free of their stupid grandmother. For good. If they made it they’d all be safe. Together. Happy.

Quickly and quietly, Yakko untied the last three bedsheets used to make Wakko’s rope and began to tie it to a stick, he then wedged into the sled, creating a kinda crappy but still functional makeshift sail of sorts that would hopefully work alongside the windy Acme Mountains to help them go further. He also set down a few blankets, their scarves, and snowshoes if needed. It was times like these he was grateful he was royalty- he couldn’t imagine not having warm enough clothes or supplies.

Dot sat in the sled while Yakko and Wakko began to pull, heading their way towards the back exit through the gardens- it was small and hardly ever used so they figured it was likely their best shot for escaping unnoticed.

Luck appeared to be on their side, as they had made it all the way to the gate itself, when a voice shouted for them to halt.

“Who goes there? On what business?” One knight said. Yakko gulped.

“W-well-”

“Aren’t you three the royal children? What are you doing up at such an hour?” The other asked. Yakko

“Well we were just on our way to- uh...”

“You three running away?” The first asked. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot looked at each other and shrugged. The guard nodded.

“I see,” He said, pulling the other to the side. There was a long awkward moment of just the two of them whispering, before he turned over.

“We were friends of your father. He was a brave man, we owe him a lot,” The first guard nodded.

“We will let you go, but we will not be able to stop her from chasing after,” The second said.

Yakko couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Really?! Thanks, misters!” Dot smiled at them.

“Dot, keep your voice down,” Yakko hushed her, before looking up at them. “Thanks though... it means a lot.”

They nodded, pulling a lever that opened the gate for them. Yakko nodded at his younger brother, and they pulled the sled out of the castle walls.

Alright, one obstacle down, a million more to go...

Well, at least they wouldn’t be discovered until morning- hopefully. That should give them enough time to make it to the mountains and get a fair head start before any of them noticed and went after them.

“Alright you two, you ready?” Yakko asked, noticing a breeze picking up. Wakko and Dot nodded, as Wakko got onto the sled. Yakko nodded back, as he started running downhill, catching the wind and they headed off to Acme Mountain.

.o0o.

“Are you sure we have everything William?”

“I’ve checked each bag a thousand times, Lena dear. We have everything,” William chuckled as closed the door to the cart.

“The cloaks? Food? Water? Extra mittens? The sword?” Lena asked.

“Even the sword, dear. It’ll be fine, Lena, we’re totally prepared, thanks to Helloise and Dr. Scratchnsniff,” William nodded at his childhood friend and the doctor.

“It’s not a problem, William. We’re always happy to help,” Helloise smiled. “Though... may I ask what the sword is needed for?”

William shrugged. “You never know with wild animals.”

“Well- don’t be too harsh on that arm of yours, or else you’ll end up right back,” Helloise chuckled.

“Right, yes,” Willaim laughed too.

“Yes- right. Seriously- thank you. For everything. Your hospitality has meant the world to us,” Lena said to them as well.

“It’s an honor, your majesty,” Helloise said.

“Right- well, if we want to reach the mountains by sunrise, we’d best get going,” William said, giving Helloise a quick hug before helping Lena onto her seat.  

“We want her back in one piece as much as possible, ya? We want to use her to sell our elixir,” Scratchy said as William got on.

“Not a scratch, got it,” William chuckled as he grabbed the reigns of the horse.

“Do be careful though, you’re still not-”

“Quite healed, I know. I promise, I’ll be careful,” Lena said as gracefully as possible, hiding her annoyance- which wasn’t with the good nurse, but more so with herself. The nurse and doctor nodded.

“Well- you best be off then. We wish you the best of luck,” Helloise said.

“Yes- good luck,” Scratchnsniff nodded.

“Thank you! We’ll be back as soon as we can!” Lena waved as William pulled the reigns and the horse began to move, and they were on their way to the Wishing Star.

.o0o.

It had been a long night for Yakko. Thankfully, the wind had been on their side and carried them all the way to the Acme Mountains, but Wakko and Dot had almost immediately fallen asleep on the sled, so Yakko was forced to stay up the whole night to make sure they didn’t crash into anything. The cold air did help with that, but Yakko wished he had something else to keep him awake- otherwise, he might just pass out, and then they’d have a huge problem (likely the crashing into things he was avoiding).

Dot did eventually wake up, though Wakko remained asleep. Yakko thought it probably had to do with the fact that despite being out in the cold mountains, the blankets were much thicker and comfortable than whatever was in that dusty tower. He deserved his rest.

It couldn’t be more than an hour or two away- they were close. The mountains weren’t too terrible, though they were unfamiliar. Still, the path was wide and clear, and their sled had the perfect momentum.

However, their luck was bound to end at some point, as Yakko looked back through one pass and noticed that a royal carriage was in the distance. Now, there was a chance it didn’t see them and that they couldn’t get any closer, but Yakko was still on edge (as was per usual for the eldest prince).

Plus, he had noticed another group was following- though he hadn’t gotten a good look, he had only seen them briefly. They were on an elixir cart and were covered in coats and hoods, so Yakko couldn’t get a good look. They were probably just there to take what was rightfully their’s, which Yakko knew was a possibility but was still annoyed that it happened.

He just hoped that their sled would stay fast enough so hopefully those people wouldn’t even come close to them and the star.

“You look tired,” Dot said as she rubbed her eyes.

“Staying up will do that to you,” Yakko didn’t fight it.

“Is Wakko okay?” Dot asked, poking her brother slightly.

“Of course, he’s just... tired,” Yakko glanced down at his little brother, noticing how much he appeared to be clutching the blankets tightly despite sleeping, curled up into a ball.

“And cold, probably,” Yakko said, reasoning that it was a good position to preserve body heat. Dot nodded her head.

“I’m hungry,” Dot frowned.

“I only managed to grab a little food- let’s wait a while, okay?” Yakko sighed. Dot did too, but she was understanding so she didn’t complain.

They carried on for a little while, but it wasn’t too long before they ran into a long wooden bridge, which meant they’d have to pull the sled across.

“Wakko, wake up,” Yakko nudged his little brother. Wakko groaned.

“Wak, I need you to help me pull the sled, can you do that for me?” Yakko asked politely. Wakko groaned again.

“Mm... why can’t Dot?” he said. Yakko rolled his eyes.

“You know she isn’t as strong as you. Get your lazy butt up and help me,” Yakko said, jumping off and getting the rope so he could tie it around and pull the sled.  Once he’d done that, he went back to Wakko, who still hadn’t moved.

“C’mon Wakko, you gotta hurry up- we can’t let them catch up to us,” Yakko said, getting more aggravated. Wakko sighed and tiredly pulled himself upright, taking off the blankets, and stepping out.

However, the moment he was on his own two legs, they immediately buckled and he face-planted into the snow.

“Wakko!” Yakko gasped and went to him.

“Wakko, what’s wrong?” He asked, holding him. Wakko was shivering.

“Mm... hungry,” he said hoarsely.

Yakko paused. 

“When was the last time you ate?” He asked.

“Four days..?” Wakko tried to think. Yakko’s heart sank.

Four days. He had been in the tower for three- Yakko should’ve noticed- he should’ve brought something- now Wakko was- well-

“Dot, can hand me the brown bag?” Yakko ordered more than asked. Dot was quick to obey and handed it over.

“I have food right here- it’s gonna be okay Wak,” Yakko said, taking out a piece of bread and giving it to him. Wakko nibbled on it weakly. Yakko didn’t hesitate to just hand him the whole bag of food and hand it to him.

“Wak- I-i’m so sorry-” he began to apologize.

“S’okay... I never told...” Wakko shrugged. Still, intense guilt grabbed hold of his entire body, which he was pretty sure was going to haunt him for the rest of the day.

 “You’re doing great, okay? I mean it- I’m sorry for snapping,” Yakko said, picking up his weak brother and placing him back on the sled. 

“S’okay,” Wakko didn’t have the energy for words. Yakko again wanted to apologize, but they needed to get going if they were going to make it to the wishing star before anyone else caught up.  

“Well, Dot- you wanna try and help?” Yakko asked as he put Wakko back on the sled and under the blankets. Dot shrugged and got off. So then the pair grabbed the rope and began to pull with all their might, dragging the sled across the rickety bridge. Yakko cringed at every eerie creak the bridge gave as they stepped, but thankfully it didn’t break and they reached the end safely.

“Feeling any better Wak?” Yakko asked as Dot got back on, and Yakko prepared the sail once more.

“Lil,” he said, nibbling on another piece.

“Be sure to pace yourself- too much at once and you may go into shock,” Yakko said. Wakko nodded tiredly. He didn’t have the energy for eating quickly anyway.  

“Please be okay- I can’t have you dying from my neglect,” Yakko thought to himself as he started up the sled again, and they were on their way once more.

.o0o.

Lena and William had been riding for a little while now, though they quickly realized they weren’t alone. They caught a glimpse of another traveler, though they didn’t get a good look. Lena had immediately wanted to grab the reigns and make the horse go faster, but William promised he knew a short cut through the mountains that could get them there before any one else got to the star.

Lena hoped he was right.

Still, they were glad they packed cloaks to help them stay hidden. It made them feel a lot safer. Well that- and William kept the sword by his feet at all times too  

“These roads are a lot less defined than you said they were,” Lena remarked, as the cart hit other rock and the whole vehicle jumped.

“It’s fine, Lena. I know this place like the back of my hand,” William didn’t mind her pessimism.

“You see your hand every day. You’ve not seen these mountains in at least 13 years,” Lena rolled her eyes. William chuckled.

“You know, when we were kids, I always imagined bringing you to these mountains one day so we could watch the sunrise,” William said. Lena laughed a little.

“We were so young back then...” She said, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Would you have done anything differently?” He asked.

“Outside of poisoning my mother? No,” Lena said with a soft smile, holding William’s free hand.

“Though I must say, I imagine this all going in a very different way...” Lena sighed.

“I know dear... don’t worry though, we’ll be safe and reunited before you know it,” William reassured.

“You better be right, or else I’ll never forgive you,” Lena snorted.

“I’m right, and you know it,” He elbowed her a little. Lena laughed.

However, their joy was quickly halted when they heard a carriage get behind them. Quickly, they pulled up their hoods to make sure they covered their faces as much as possible, when it suddenly pulled up beside them and ordered they halt. Wisely, they obeyed.

“You there, have you seen any travelers come this way?” It didn’t take them looking to know they were speaking to a royal guard.

“No,” Lena answered, disguising her voice.

It was the royal carriage.

“And you, what do you come for?” He asked. Lena and William exchanged a look.

“Answer in the name of the Queen,” The coachman ordered.

“We come to travel across to sell our elixirs over in Appleton, sir,” William said. The guard scratched his head, debating whether or not to believe them.

“You look like peasant folk, so I suppose I ought to believe that... know anything of a Wishing Star?” he asked them.

“No, sir,” Lena said, praying this conversation would be over.

“You there, sir... you seem familiar, do I know you?” The guard tilted his head, trying to get a better look at William.

“Oh- well, I - uh...” William panicked.

“You are not to be talking with the commoners. We must reach it before they do,”  A harsh voice from inside shouted at him, and Lena felt a chill crawl up her spine.

Her mother was inside.

“Yes, yes, your majesty,” the coachman rolled his eyes and started up their horses once more. “You travelers be safe- these mountains can be quite dangerous.”

“We will, goodbye,” She nodded, making sure to keep her face still hidden, until they were finally gone. Lena sighed a breath of relief before looking back at William.

“We’re going to get there first, we are not going to let her win,” William swore, clutching the reigns. Lena agreed, making the same oath as well.

They were in this to win. Their family depended on it-

They were going to stop Angelina, no matter what it took.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14

[lostbbygorl]

LOOK WHAT THE RAIN HAS BROUGHT (LEVI X F!READER):

AU: PRIDE AND PREJUDICE BY JANE AUSTEN

~~~~

The dark gray clouds that hung in the sky perfectly described the mood of the young woman who ran as fast as she could, hot tears streaming down her rosy cheeks, and feet aching out of exhaustion. But no matter, she still ran with her burgundy dress so soaked she was positive it even reached her corset. The rainfall grew heavier and heavier by the second.

At last, Y/N reached the pillars in the vast garden that offered her some shelter. Her back hit the walls with an inaudible thud, and she shut her puffy eyes and felt pure misery as well as icy rain.

Her head hurt and her mind raced with depressing thought after depressing thought after depressing thought… and then anger!

Levi Ackerman was behind her dearest sister, Christa’s, unhappiness!

Christa had previously been madly in love with Ackerman’s bestest friend, Erwin. The entire family was expecting a proposal when Erwin explained his departure from Trost in a letter which broke Christa’s heart. Christa was still mourning over the man as he had left so suddenly and with barely any explanation. Seeing Christa so broken had dampened Y/N’s mood as well, and now that she found out that the man she most hated was behind this outrage, she wanted to burn all his miserable property to the ground!

Speak of the devil.

Just as the rainfall had gotten calmer, Y/N noticed a figure dressed in an expensive black suit approach her. Even in the pouring rain Y/N could make out the expressionless, solemn, infuriatingly handsome face of Levi Ackerman: one of the richest but also one of the most arrogant, rude, and unfriendly men to walk on earth.

Levi’s usually neat hair was tousled by the raindrops, and his usually spotless attire was spoiled by the mud he was trudging on to reach Y/N. Still, the young woman jumped slightly at the intrusion of a deeply vulnerable moment.

Levi didn’t notice the woman’s tears or her red eyes. His mind was too preoccupied with the heavy confession and proposal he had planned.

It was the two of them alone now, just as he had always wanted it to be. Levi took a deep breath, and with a soft gaze, he stared into Y/N’s eyes.

“ Ms. Y/N, I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer”, he started, still very much focused on the young woman’s eyes, completely oblivious to her now confused expression.

“These past few months have been a torment. I have come to Shiganshina with the single motive of seeing you, I have to see you”, he continued, surprising not only himself but Y/N as well. Levi had never confessed feelings to anyone, especially not deeply romantic ones. Y/N was different. She made him feel warm. She made him want to come out of his comfort zone, and she brightened his day whenever they met with her charming wit and honesty.

“ I’ve fought against my better judgement, my family’s expectations, the inferiority of your birth, my rank, and all these things and circumstances I’m willing to put aside. I ask you to end my agony”, he finished. He thought he made himself very clear. Apparently not.

“ I don’t understand”, asked Y/N, confused and with no hint of anger in her soft voice. Y/N always was sharp and intelligent. 9 times out of 10 her intuition and hunches were right, but god she hoped that wasn’t the case now, as this hunch seemed absolutely ridiculous!

Levi was screaming inside, but as always, maintained his perfect composure. The time had come, and for the very first time, he was about to say three words he had never ever dawdled on in his life.

“ I love you”, he breathed, his stoic expression softening further. His usually cold expression melted into one of sincere affection and hopefulness. But Y/N wasn’t impressed! Her prior anger had returned, and this time, it was more intense than ever! With her mouth agape, Y/N stared at the man in front of her with eyes as wide as saucers.

“ Most ardently”, Levi cut through the white noise that was the rain with his crisp, deep voice, gray orbs never leaving Y/N.

“ Please do me the honor of accepting my hand”, Levi requested.

“ Sir, I”, she stuttered, her mind reeling once more. She was repulsed, but she’d be maintaining her composure too. Y/N decided to gracefully reject his proposal.

“ I appreciate the struggle you’ve been through and I’m sorry to have caused you pain. Believe me, it was unconsciously done”, she said, her tone as cold as ice. Levi was taken aback. He hadn’t expected such a cold, curt response to his proposal. Now it was his turn to have his temper rise…

“ Is this your reply?”, he asked still in disbelief

“ Yes, sir”, Y/N confirmed

“ Are you laughing at me?”, Levi asked, his heartbeat quickening

“ No”

“ Are you rejecting me?”, he said, his already pale skin growing paler, making him look like a ghost.

Y/N didn’t know what part of her response wasn’t going through his skull, and decided to make her point clear once more, this time with less civility.

“ I’m sure that the things you’ve told me which hindered your regard will help you in overcoming it”, she spat, riling Levi up more.

“ Might I ask why with so little endeavour at civility I must repulse?”

“ And I might as well enquire why with such evidence of a design of insulting me you chose to tell me you like me against your better judgement”, Y/N spat back, all composure gone.

“ No, believe me, I didn’t mean-” Levi began only to get off by a fuming Y/N.

“ If I was uncivil then that’s some excuse, but I have other reasons, you know I have”, Y/N shouted back, pouring all her frustration and unheard thoughts onto the man.

“ What reasons?”Levi asked, genuinely lost.

“ Did you think that anything would tempt me to accept the hand of the man who has ruined the happiness of my dearest sister, perhaps forever?”, Y/N finally voiced, lips quivering.

Levi made a little “oh”, realizing what put a damper on their possible relationship. Still, he didn’t back down. Levi may have been in love with Y/N, but his stubborn nature and pride made him refuse to let her off. He didn’t let anyone win in a fight, not even Y/N.

“ Do you deny it, Mr. Ackerman, that you’ve separated a young couple who really loved each other, therefore exposing your friend to the censure of the world for caprice and my sister, to its derision for disappointed hope?”, she began again, this time with a slight cry in her voice.

“ I do not deny it”, Levi deadpanned.

“ How could you do it?”Y/N demanded with a soft voice.

“ Because I believe your sister is indifferent to him”, he said honestly.

“ Indifferent?”

“ I watched them most carefully and realized his attachment was deeper than hers”

“ That’s because she’s shy”, Y/N yelled!

Levi took a second to process her words. That may be true, he thought, but still, he wouldn’t give up.

“ Erwin, too, is modest and was persuaded she didn’t feel strongly for him”,

“ Because you suggested it”

“ I did it for his own good’

“ My sister hardly shows her true feelings to me”, Y/N exclaimed, shaking with a rage so pure she could hear her heartbeats in her ears!

Levi’s eyes widened, and he was unable to close his mouth. He realized the depth of his mistake, and internally cursed at himself when he realized that this mistake was nearly impossible to fix. But even now, he still had one last argument to make, and this argument was the strongest and most heartfelt of all. Infact, even Y/N didn’t have much in her mind to counter it!

However, before he could speak, Y/N started talking again.

“ I supposed you suspected his fortune had some bearing on the matter”, she accused.

“ No, I wouldn’t do Christa the dishonor”, he denied, almost offended.

“ But it was suggested”, Levi admitted.

“ What was?”, Y/N asked, loudly, her previously hung head now erect.

“ It was made perfectly clear that an advantageous marriage-”

“ Did my sister give that expression”, Y/N was outraged!

“ No, no, no”, Levi countered, trying to calm her down.

“ There was however the matter of your family”, Levi added. He knew it’d make things more heated, but he had to be honest. Honesty, brutal honesty to be specific, was something Levi was always known for.

“ Our want of connection? That Mr. Smith didn’t seem at all bothered by?”

“ No, it was more than that. It was the lack of propriety shown by your mother, your three younger sisters, and even on occasion your father”, he revealed. The look in his eyes was one of regret yet sternness. He knew that his words had deeply hurt Y/N, perhaps more than hers had hurt him. Y/N was grossly offended! How dare this snobby man insult the people she held most dear? How dare he hit her with the cold truth that she herself knew deep down…

Y/N remembered how boisterous and embarrassing her family was being at the ball where she and Mr. Ackerman had first met. Everyone was staring disapprovingly at them, and some of the wealthier attendees had whispered amongst themselves about her younger sisters. Y/N knew her family had a lot of improvements to make behaviour wise, but that didn’t stop her from feeling hurt.

" I’m sorry”, Levi apologized. He truly was sorry, but he couldn’t change the truth or take back his words.

“ You and Christa are excluded from the category I put the rest of your family in”, Levi added, hoping it’d make things better.

It had done nothing, as Y/N still had more points up her sleeve.

“ And what about Mr. Zeke Yeager?”, she questioned. Zeke Yeager had charmed Y/N months ago, and told her about how Levi had wronged him so terribly without reason. The mention of his name had hit a nerve in Levi. What was that expression on his face now? Jealousy, bitterness?

“ Mr. Yeager?”, he repeated.

“ What excuse do you have for your behaviour towards him?”

“ You take an eager interest in that gentleman’s concerns”, Levi seethed, confirming that he was indeed jealous. Levi strode up to Y/N, shortening the gap that was between them before Yeager was brought up. Levi’s eyes searched for any hint of pettiness in Y/N’s. Maybe she was just as stubborn as he was and continuing an argument that should’ve been resolved by now. But no, to his sadness, Y/N’s eyes were full of affection for Yeager, and anger at Levi.

“ He told me of his misfortune”, Y/N said.

“ Oh, yes, his misfortune is big indeed”, Levi scoffed sarcastically.

“ You ruined his chances and yet you treat him with sarcasm”, Y/N noticed with disgust.

Levi wanted to scream and tell her that her impression of Yeager was completely wrong and that she was deceived. He wanted to defend himself, but for the first time in his life, he couldn’t bring himself to do that. Levi’s stubbornness faltered, and he felt that winning Y/N’s heart would be near impossible now. There was so much she didn’t know, there were so many misconceptions she had, and there was so much she had against him rightfully. Levi hid the sorrow in his heart by letting his usual monotonous tone return to his voice…

“ So this is your opinion of me”, he asked, trying to sound calm and indifferent, but accidentally letting a sliver of sadness seep into the question. Y/N noticed everything, but she couldn’t get herself to care about his feelings right now. She was seeing red, but so was he.

Y/N’s silence agitated the man more.

“ Thanks for explaining so fully. Perhaps these offences might’ve been overlooked had your pride not been hurt by my honesty in a bit of a scruple about our relationship”, Levi let his tongue fly! He knew his words had stabbed Y/N in the same places hers had stabbed him! He couldn’t keep his calm anymore. His patience and grace was tested, and now Y/N would face its consequences.

“ Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstances?”, he questioned, his voice raising with each syllable. Y/N could feel tears welling up inside her again. My god, she hated this man. He insulted her family and status, then proceeded to hurt her pride and scathingly expose it, and now he was showing his superiority complex!

“ These are the words of a gentleman?" Y/N wondered aloud, her glare burning holes in Levi’s face.

“ From the first moment I saw you your arrogance, your conceit, your selfish disdain for the feelings of others made me realize that you are the last man in the world I would ever be prevailed upon to marry”, she yelled! As always, Levi was silenced by a remark made by the spunky, sharp tongued Y/N L/N. Levi’s heart was glass, and Y/N had dropped it on the floor without a care in the world. How could he have been so stupid to think he could lash out at a woman as strongheaded as Y/N, insult everything she held dear, an get away with it with no harm done? Y/N’s glare lost its intensity as she blinked a few times. Her sight didn’t leave Levi, but it faltered. Levi came even closer to her. Even though she had left scars on his heart, even though she had yelled at him and called out every single one of his biggest flaws, he loved her. He wanted her, and he warmed at the thought of being with her. He looked longingly at her lips, then her eyes, and then her lips again. There was no touching, but Y/N was disarmed.

She felt herself softening, and for the first time she noticed Levi’s attractiveness. Like a magnet, she subconsciously felt herself nearing Levi’s lips. She was attracted to him, yes, but she hadn’t forgotten the prior row, and that stopped her from closing the gap between them officially. She didn’t pull away, much to her surprise, Levi did.

“ Forgive me”, he said once again, knowing she wouldn’t forgive him so easily, but still meaning the apology. Now that his head had cleared, all the most miserable emotions hit him like a cane. There was sadness at the rejection, bitter jealousy at Y/N’s affection going to Mr. Yeager, the pain of having one’s pride being minced to shreds, and of course: heavy remorse for yelling such mean things at the woman he loved…

“ I’m sorry for taking up so much of your time, madam”, he whispered loud enough for Y/N to hear. And then he walked away without taking a single look back, leaving Y/N to drench in the rain some more.

Y/N stared at his back as he walked away, thinking of the argument and her feelings towards him. She didn’t understand how a man could infuriate her so much, but still disarm her with barely any effort and make her feel intense warmth.

Meanwhile, Levi’s heart cracked with every step he took. His love remained the same, even worse, it grew more severe. He wasn’t sure he had given up on winning Y/N over, but for now, he’d give her space, and pray to any lord up in the heavens who’d listen to him to change Y/N’s opinion on him, and to make him a better, more deserving man so that he could have her and make her happy, and of course: to make Y/N forgive him for all his grave mistakes which had caused this mess.

[aks3raao1]

You know, there's a thing with characters that foil each other and serve as the "good" and "bad" respectively (Toga/Himiko, Tenko/Izuku, Nagito/Hajime, Ryoko/Hajime, Atsushi/Akutagawa) but that trope felt rather annoying to write, especially in the world I am trying to write about (ALTERNATIVE's world is basically MHA X BSD but like. 1000 times more fucked up and the Specialised are always prejudiced against. A terrible lot).

The title itself, ALTERNATIVE is to symbolise Romila's POV of "infinite choices and paths present for every being" and how she starts off the story with a decisive line of,

"Many people ask me if this could have been avoided. They beg for me to tell them that things could have been better. There are others too, who try to justify that this was the only way for things to have been. If you ask me, both are living in states of denial. One can't accept the stupidity of humanity for disregarding common sense for violence and prejudices. Another can't accept humanity's choice for having better circumstances if the one with the power chose to."

The thing is, the running theme is that the story is a bittersweet one, despite there not being many deaths of the main characters, but there was always a junction where you can see it could have been avoided, that there was an "alternative" for things to have gotten better, especially in the first book.

Another reason for the title is that it's basically an "ALTERNATIVE" to this world of ours, where super powers and stuff like those exist.

The subtitles of both the books (Myriad of Colours, Colour of Death) signifies Romila's power, "Aura Tracker" which lets her view people's aura as colours (Myriad of Colours is to signify the different kinds of people she meets, Colour of Death is about what affects her the most (death) and how she's constantly seeing that colour everywhere, especially now that it's war).

The thing about ALTERNATIVES is that Romila could have chosen to be a doormat (like Koldin tends to be at the beginning (his rp self is like THAT due to circumstances different to ALTERNATIVE's actual storyline. Also because Hack's a nicer person to be around than Romila is) in order to nOt hAvE cOnFliCt™) to not get into conflict and put up a super nice persona for people but she didn't. She decided to focus on hanging onto her reasons for doing what she does and using it to create a caustic personality to shield herself because she knows that she will regret being a doormat (Her Despair takes the form of Koldin Hopkins).

Now Koldin could have certainly put his hatred for society at the forefront and taken a caustic personality but instead chooses to be nice. Because he doesn't want to become as hurtful as the rest, that's how he wants to disentangle himself from society. However he, like Romila (who just took standing up for herself to extremes), takes this to the extremes causing him to gain the personality of a nice boy™.

However this also goes into why they made the choices they did (which is what Romila realises during the Mansion of Death arc), because for Romila, she didn't really have the psychology for actually becoming a doormat (because a) Her mom wouldn't have it b) She hated to be called weak c) She didn't have anyone to fall back to after the inevitable consequences of being a doormat d) She felt that if she were to live with monsters, then it's easier to blend in by being one (this comes useful to her when she infiltrates into the Government) e) She saw doormats getting suicidal which frightened her) or not becoming fully caustic (since her standing up for herself wasn't. Liked. By. Anyone. And seen as aggressive and she basically went, "Well if they see me as bad, I will show them BAD" which led to her breakdown causing the incidents at the Mansion Of Death (especially a twisted hatred against Koldin for extremely understandable reasons).

For Koldin, being meek and peaceful had let him get by in the streets and his skills to difuse fights had come in handy. Later when Dr. Hopkins took him in, he was well. A member of the Radicals who were known to be extremely merciless towards the Specialised (he had defected but Koldin had a REALLY good reason to be wary) so he figured if he stayed nice, he wouldn't be kicked out of the house and Dr. Hopkins being Dr. Hopkins just assumed that it was his normal and that behaviour carried into school. He figured that it was a horrifying thing to be aggressive and then saw how Romila got treated and decided that yep, he was right, that confirmed his world view alright and it was more reason to be super nice. While Romila saw Koldin as a person who everyone took advantage of (a thing she hated. To be exploited just like that) and went, yep that confirmed hers and it was more reason to be super angry.

However the thing is that, Romila was chided for being anything, which caused her to just give up to be peaceful (because what would she do? Anything she tried to do got her scolded) while Koldin (thankfully) found a support system. It really goes to show the difference a good friend can do.....

As it is, when I first began writing this, the most obvious choice presented itself to me. Koldin is the "hope" and Romila is the "despair" (on the protagonist, deutergonist side) but that seemed stupid and boring as it wouldn't make sense. Since I am trying to make a point of showing with how Romila's world view gradually changes from "there are wrong and right choices" to the fact that it doesn't have to be rigid and that *now* she wouldn't be hurt if she used what her vulnerable side wanted (a world free of prejudices and unnecessary cruelty) with the talents she had. That kindness mixed with her usual personality won't literally kill her.

And for Koldin, being a doormat means that he got taken advantage of a lot by different people and since he refused to actually stand up for himself ("Ah...aha......it seems that I can't..." "Can't what?" "Feel angry for myself......it's always anger that comes from the ones I love being hurt" "Then love yourself too, you will feel angry again" ~ Koldin's conversation with his inverted self in the Labyrinth) he got. Taken advantage of. By virtually everyone. However he decided that if being nice would keep him keep his self and his name self then it would be fine. He did not want to be the source of grief (his actual parents tossed him out because of his Specialisation). The Mansion Of Death actually causes him to snap for that reason, because Romila literally puts him in a torture dream "for the greater good" and then proceeds to kill his dear friend. One thing Koldin HATED. Killing friends. (Due to them being run over by a car, which led to his paralysed left arm)

Now on the other side, their respective friends:

Romila:

Luja: Cynical and annoyed by people's stupidity but not to caustic extents and she wants to be a scientist and isn't haunted by the possibility of dying.

Kratanos: Full of anger and hatred against the world but not entirely blinded by it and is focused to using that anger for reformation of the world (she becomes a therapist later, to help people)

They both have her caustic parts but they also let themselves embrace another side which makes them her "balance".

Koldin:

Anand: Believes that there's no requirement for violence unless it's absolutely necessary.

Karishma: Figures it's a better idea to just listen to rules but doesn't hesitate to break them if she sees that they are bs

They both have his peacefulness, but don't hesitate to do what they think they should do, which makes them his "balance".

The point is that, the case of choosing alternatives isn't possible with a tunnel vision. Even so, there are choices that literally can't be made due to the individual and circumstances. Sometimes the choice is to choose more than one choice. Well, that's one dramatic storyline......

It reminds me of DDLC side stories since everyone has a bit of the other person's solutions and more of a opposite personality (don't take this the wrong way, there are many stories like that and it's honestly a favourite to think abt but it's just that DDLC does it well especially since it's only a school environment). Tbh, I like dramatic storylines that rlly dig deep into a character's perspective (reasons why I'm in love with Hack and Axel in particular). My whole thing is that I'd rather read a story with interesting and in depth characters than one where only the plot is good so I say you made the great call of the century with Koldin and Romila's characters.

What you thought before getting into it is rlly how every great character arc starts. You focus on one, somewhat forget the other one until you review every single character for inspiration and then BAM! PARALLELS! It's really admirable how, even in this messed up world of specializations, you didn't purely focus on the plot bc it honestly sounds interesting enough to just stick around for Romila's life and journey. You could have ended it all with just that, but no, you smacked Koldin in there and said "be my interesting on par character that can kick Romila's gut" and IT WORKED SPECTACULARLY!!!

I really love ur writing and hoping to one day read (and maybe print out) every story you've ever written bc GODDAMNIT I NEED THE FEELING OF THOSE WORDS ON WORN PAPER WITH AN ARTISTIC COVER AND AN AMAZINGLY HEAVY WEIGHT

Aka, paperback. Bc that's how I like to roll and that's how good I think it is. 1000% worthy of a bestseller

[cybernaght]

Guardian rewatch: episode 12

We start the episode in the Snake Tribe territory, which is supposedly still somewhere within the confines of the Dragon City. It is baffling that it took citizens of this place so long to figure out that there are mysterious beings and demi-humans living among them, it truly is.

While the scene is mostly centred around the conflict between Zhu Hong and her tribe, and the ominous warning of the war brewing, it also does a really lovely joy of showcasing, yet again, the fierce loyalty not only she, but Guo Changcheng have to the SID. This boy remains the most precious muffin of a human.

At the SID, Sang Zan is learning to write under a loving watchful eye Wang Zheng. The once fierce and ruthless warlord is now the softest archivist. On a separate note, I am not sure how good of an archivist he might be considering that he is evidently illiterate.

Anyway, it’s heart-warming to see those two happy together. I sure hope nothing terrible happens to them in the future.

Our actual power couple, on the other hand, have done a full reversal into the relationship they had in the beginning; only it’s somehow even worse now. Shen Wei, who properly messed his cover up during the last adventure, has his guard up as he is being questioned in relation to a case. Zhao Yunlan, who grew to see this man as a friend and partner, is no longer amused by secrets, nor intrigued by them. He is now furious at their existence, upset at what he must perceive as lack of trust on Shen Wei’s part.

Shen Wei serves Zhao Yunlan a cup of tea with a side order of avoidance, hoping that by ignoring the subject of himself it will go away.

When in the previous scenes together they were always across the desk from each other, or next to each other, leaning in closely, body language open, there is now a rift between them. It’s awkward; neither of the men want to be here, but their needs are the opposite to each other, and neither of them are willing to back down.

Shen Wei goes on explaining in great detail his connection to the case and to the victim, despite Zhao Yunlan’s attempt to change the subject with a very unsubtle, “your body surely recovered fast”. The latter then proceeds to stubbornly talk about Shen Wei’s archaic ways, which earns him an incredulous “Are you even listening to me?” from the professor. The incredulity is wonderfully misjudged, considering the circumstances.

“I only want to hear you tell the truth”

We rarely see Zhao Yunlan open and vulnerable. I can’t off the top of my head remember him ever being open and vulnerable with anyone who is not Shen Wei. Zhao Yunlan operates on false bravado, aggressive charm, weaponised smiles. But with this man, he purposefully lowers his guard. I trust you, he seems to say, and I always have. Why can you not trust me?

Shen Wei gulps.

He then continues talking about the case, which is the last straw for Zhao Yunlan, who explodes, smacking his palm hard on the desk.

Shen Wei startles, looking hurt. I just… don’t understand what he was expecting. Once again, this is a man who, from Shen Wei’s perspective, has unmasked him on the first day they met. This is a man who has been poking and prodding him for weeks. And I get that it is hurtful when someone you care about does not respect your boundaries, I do, but truly honestly hoping that the same someone will just accept the relationship terms that have never even been discussed is a little bit unrealistic, especially when Shen Wei is not divulging anything.

Shen Wei is bad at communicating. Which is, I suppose, not news to anyone.

“It seems that Chief Zhao still hasn’t given up on suspecting me.”

“Not suspicion, but lack of understanding.”

Zhao Yunlan is trying very hard. He is trying to close the rift between them: by pulling the chair over next to Shen Wei’s and settling down on it, by reminding Shen Wei how much they have been through together, by telling the man that he is being perplexing. Shen Wei, on the other hand, has raised his barriers all the way back up, smoothly explaining that he is just a normal man who ends up being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He has got a polite smile playing on his lips, his mask fully in place.

Zhao Yunlan does not even pretend to have believed Shen Wei, he gives up on the conversation with a dejected “Fine, forget it.”

He makes his excuses and pulls his phone out to make a call to Wang Zheng to check up on the rest of the team. Just as that happens, the SID gets attacked by the magical sound waves, and Zhao Yunlan sprints into action.

Shen Wei calls after him, and then asks to come with. Considering they have just spent some very awkward time together, more or less fighting about Shen Wei lying an awful lot, Zhao Yunlan would be well within his moral rights to reject help. He doesn’t, however. Even now, the trust he has in Shen Wei  - in his good intentions, in his friendship - is unwavering.

At the SID offices, Tan Xiao is using his sound device to get past the two ghosts energy beings, and break through the safety measures protecting the Hallows. In other news, apart from being susceptible from curses or poisons slipped through the letter box, the SID HQ also does not have anything that might stop a human from breaking into it. How those people survived for this long is a mystery.

A point of complete diversion from me: I am currency watching a contemporary drama entitled To Dear Myself. It’s about young professionals in Shanghai who get their lives broken in about ten different ways; Zhu Yilong’s the leading man; there will definitely be a lengthy think-piece on it here. But the reason I’m bringing that up here is that it also has Chen Weidong, the actor who plays Tan Xiao, as a contextually neurodivergent rich boyfriend of one of the protagonists.

It’s kind of surreal seeing him here; there’s only been about two years between the filming of those two shows, but he looks so different. Oh, and, he is very  good as well.

Back in the world of Guardian, we see Sang Zan shaking off the sound attack and attempting to stop Tan Xiao. He does not succeed as such, but manages to pull a string which activates the Indiana Jones-style set-up with loaded crossbows. It’s very silly; I kind of love it.

While evading the arrows, Sang Zan flings the Awl up in the air, Zhao Yunlan catches it. How close is the University to SID? He took about five minutes to get here! The chief gets a barrage of premonitions which include Zhu Hong knocked out in the future, as well as in the present, and a little sneak-peak into the Disaster Wedding incident.

He then proceeds to pass out into Shen Wei’s slow motion embrace.

There is nothing wrong with this. This is beautiful.

Shen Wei checks on Yunlan briefly, but Tan Xiao goes on the offensive, which deserves him: a) a shot of dark energy right into his chest, which flings him across the space, b) the meanest of Hei Pao Shi’s death glares. This is the moment Tan Xiao earns an uncharacteristically rough treatment he’s going to get at the end of this episode.

She Wei carefully places unconscious Zhao Yunlan next to the wall, calling out his name. We can only presume that the lab has a second exit, as Tan Xiao manages to get away despite the two men currently being more or less in the doorway.

An indeterminate amount of time passes, and Zhao Yunlan wakes on the sofa, Da Qing in human form miaowing at him, his team and Shen Wei nearby. The team goes into a full debrief mode: Wang Zheng reports that she is generally able to repel sound waves, but was taken by surprise; Da Qing and Lin Jin speculate about the shield being affected by the waves as well, since an apparent Undergrounder managed to get through it.

Zhao Yunlan notes that the sound waves ability seems to be doubled, and used for both attack and suggestion. He notes that the powers can be numerous, while grinning conspiratorially at Shen Wei.

Shen Wei quietly despairs. He probably genuinely thought that this conversation was truly over. He takes a few seconds to come to terms with Zhao Yunlan actually teasing him about him maybe being an Undergrounder, before composing himself and stating that compound abilities don’t actually exist.

Da Qing, who doesn’t necessarily pick up what this conversation really is about, but does note that *something* is up with those two, comes to his own conclusions, asking Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan to stop flirting.

Lin Jing comes up up with this.

“Comrades!”

Thank you, Viki subbers, for notifying the audience that the word “Comrade” is also a slang for “gay”.

Lin Jing springs to his feet, saying that he needs a sample test of a human consciousness - presumably to create that clever brain chip of him which would make one immune to the wound wave powers. Zhao Yunlan very theatrically feigns a big scary headache to see whether Shen Wei would volunteer to take the test in his stead to spare him the pain. It’s an underhand move, but it works nonetheless.  

We briefly return to the Snake Tribe, or, more specifically to Zhu Hong’s Fourth Uncle asking whether she is still mad at him, while she is forcibly restrained and bound to a pillar. What is it with this show and binding people to pillars? In reality, the one bound to a pillar is actually Guo Changcheng, which the Fourth Uncle doesn’t pick up on even through Xiao Guo is not actually wearing the clothes Zhu Hong arrived in. Zhu Hong springs the trap, plies her uncle with the same wine, and then goes to regroup with the others, leaving Xiao Guo behind for the time being, because, I guess, it makes more sense for Zhu Hong to be alone when she gets hypnotised later in the episode.

Honestly, it’s easier to not think about too much about this scene, so let’s return to the main characters.

Lin Jing is just finishing the experiment on Shen Wei, who is lying on the lab bed in his undershirt, seemingly asleep. I would assume that Shen Wei has gone into some kind of a meditative trance to try and affect the way his own brain works and emulate the human activity. He does not stir when Zhao Yunlan walks over, and call him.

“Shen Wei? Professor Shen?”

Having received no response, Zhao Yunlan leans in to…

... Count this man’s eye lashes? Admire the effects of his skincare routine?

Oh, no, sorry. Here’s the excuse.

Thank you, Guardian, for this moment.

As Shen Wei wakes up and rises, he lets Zhao Yunlan know in no uncertain terms that he did see through his ruse.

“You don’t have a headache anymore?”

This snaps Yunlan out of gazing at Shen Wei with barely contained lust to pretend that his head indeed still hurts. Considering that Shen Wei does not look concerned, and knowing that Zhao Yunlan’s health and well-being is his number one priority in life, we can conclude that he did know that a headache was just an excuse to get Shen Wei out of his shirt check Shen Wei’s brain activity. Our professor collects his things and leaves with a brief goodbye.

Lin Jing is staring at the readings, checking that the computer has worked properly. Noticing that something is wrong, Zhao Yunlan asks, “Did you see live pornography in his head or something?” Not that I blame his for his mind being the gutter, but also, wow Zhao Yunlan’s mind is in the gutter.

Lin Jing dismisses the idea of mind reading as a whole, and shares his findings that Shen Wei’s consciousness was unwavering, like a dead man’s. Unfortunately for Shen Wei, whatever it was that he did to appear human has not worked well at all.

Zhao Yunlan smirks.

Outside of the SID building, Shen Wei is still frozen in place, contemplating his future actions as he is thumping the Pendant of Pining.

“Should I tell him after all?”

Yes, Shen Wei, you should.

“If I tell him, will that put him in danger?”

I am afraid the the good ship Zhao Yunlan Being In Danger sailed the day Zhao Yunlan became Lord Guardian and Chief of the SID.

(Am I again getting unreasonably frustrated with a fictional character of a show that aired several years ago? You bet I am.)

What follows in the episode is a brief interlude of Zhu Jiu being horrible to Tan Xiao, and making inappropriate comments about him and Zheng Yi. We also learn some of Tan Xiao’s backstory, which expands on his character and explains that the reasons he felt so protective of the little girl was because she reminded him of a sister he once had.

Back to SID offices.

Zhao Yunlan is doodling Shen Wei and the Envoy as he tries to reconcile the two in his mind.

It does sound like he still has doubts that the two are the same person, despite the overwhelming pile of evidence that made him draw to this conclusion in the first place. If anything, it is quite surprising that it took him this long to figure out that the enigmatic mysterious handsome professor and the enigmatic mysterious handsome Envoy are the same person. It is also curious that he seems to think the Envoy is much taller.

Da Qing watches his friend’s mental agony in absolute bewilderment.

Very shortly, they will get a ping for the sound wave energy from somewhere close to Zhu Hong’s home and rush to the scene to find that Zhu Hong has, indeed, been put under mind control, as she attacks Chu Shuzhi.

Here’s another piece of fight choreography for me to tear into.

Okay, good things first. I really like that the actors are doing their own fighting. Jiang Mingyang is generally looking good in combat, and his reactions continue to be on point. Gao Yuer is very flexible, and her kicks are great.

The fight itself however, is another example of the time/money constraints.

The opening punch is… fine. They do lock arms for a split second, which indicates that Zhu Hong properly swung that in rather than stopping the energy, but they are also out of distance, so safety-wise that’s okay-ish, and at full speed it looks alright . But the way Lao Chu is sticking his thumb out and then wraps that around Zhu Hong’s wrist just gave a full body shudder. This is how one gets they thumb dislocated (which I have never done myself, but I hear is very painful) and/or gives their partner a nasty bruise. For anyone out there who needs to hear this, if you ever perform a fight, please tuck your thumbs in line with your fingers and avoid hurting yourself and others. Doing otherwise adds nothing apart from a small but completely avoidable risk of injury.

Then there is this kick-punch-kick combination.

The three moves in isolation are good, but they don’t flow together, at all. I think, and this is pure speculation, that the sweeping punch in the middle was actually meant to follow the previous two moves, then the kick would come next, leading into Chu Shuzhi restraining Zhu Hong. That first kick (which is the same as the third kick, shot from a different angle) just does not belong there as a follow-up to the two punches. I can speculate that it was cut there because it looked cool - which it does - but it also sacrifices any hope this fight had for coherent storytelling.

Then there is a capture and a swivel, very similar to the finishing move used in Zhu Jiu/Sang Zan fight in episode 11. Zhu Hong gets pressed against the tree, and the team shows up to sedate her and bring her back to the headquarters.

Tan Xiao and Zheng Yi watch this scene unfold at a distance, as Zhao Yunlan appears behind them. The SID chief calmly lets Tan Xiao know that he’s been abandoned by Zhu Jiu, and the other man offers no resistance to being captured.

The narrative brings us to the boxing ring, introducing us to it as Zhu Jiu’s energy farm, and then briefly cuts to SID, where Chu Shuzhi realises that they have not retrieved Guo Changcheng. The puppet master springs into action, leaving Lin Jing to wonder since when his friend is so protective of the rookie. If he paid attention, he would have noticed that Chu Shuzhi was protective of the rookie since day one.  

We then move to the interrogation of Tan Xiao, which is happening in the hospital set, with Zheng Yi tucked into the hospital bed, even through it was never established that she would need medical attention, and, considering that she would have no issues walking out of the hospital very shortly, she clearly does not. Here, we see some more flashbacks, detailing Tan Xiao and the girl’s backstory, the abuse she suffered, and the bond the two forged. The young man is admitting to all the crimes he had not committed to protect her, and Zhao Yunlan is honestly moved. He sounds almost regretful when he lets Tan Xiao know that he will still be persecuted for his crimes.

Right on cue, Hei Pao Shi portals in.

Zhao Yunlan greets him with a customary “long time no see”, but the most acknowledgement he receives from Shen Wei is a side-eye which does not even focus on his face.

In fact, the Envoy is doing as much as he can to avoid even turning to Zhao Yunlan. He simply announces his purpose to the room in general and teleports Tan Xiao away. It’s easy to see what he is doing. In Shen Wei’s mind, the less communication he has with Zhao Yunlan as Hei Pao Shi, the better are his chances to separate his two personalities in the eyes of the other man. That said, showing an abrupt and uncharacteristic change of behaviour is the opposite of suspicious.

Even Da Qing notices the change Hei Pao Shi.

“Lao Zhao, what did you do to upset him? You used to do small talk, not anymore?”

Zhao Yunlan smirks, replying that he knows the reason why. He then notices the little girl crying, and goes to comfort her the only way he knows how, with a lollipop. When that does not work, he gestures for Da Qing to leave with him, and returns with a familiar black cat and an adorable “ta-dah”. It’s so sweet it makes my teeth hurt.

As this is going on, Hei Pao Shi is being his glorious over the top avenging self. For one, he is actually floating above Tan Xiao, which I don’t think he ever seen him do before. He then proceeds to throttle the young man, lifting him in the air and throwing him back on the ground.

He does so in order to shake the sound wave equipment out of him, sure, but it is easy to assume that Tan Xiao also brought the Envoy’s wrath onto himself by his misguided attempt to hurt Zhao Yunlan earlier that day. It’s deliciously petty; we know that the best way to earn Shen Wei’s ire is by threatening his companion. And, to be fair, Shen Wei had a bad day: this is as good a way as any to get some of that ancient anger out of his system.

As Hei Pao Shi realises that the man he arrested is a simple human armed with some clever technology, and the real homicidal Undergrounder is the girl he is protecting, so does Zhao Yunlan. Even miles away, even when they are having arguments, their analytical brains still work in sync. And, as plot twists go, this one is neat, albeit not entirely unpredictable.

Unfortunately, realising that the girl is dangerous, brings along a realisation that Zhao Yunlan left his friend in her care. He rushes to the hospital to check on Da Qing, finding the ward empty. If this was Zhu Jiu’s plan all along, it’s a good one: having access to a brainwashed SID member would also spell easy access to the headquarters and the Hallows - which is exactly where Zheng Yi leads Da Qing, taking the Hallows and leaving the Yashou to go into a berserk mode as he imagines or remembers Zhao Yunlan/Kunlun saying “I will abandon you”

Next up, episode 13: The Disaster Wedding.

——

Notes.

Every time Shen Wei lies my brain supplies me with Why You Always Lying song. Every. Single. Time. Which means I sing it a lot around the flat, to my partner’s great chagrin.

Whoooo boy and I thought the Episode 10 recap was the crackiest one I’ve done.