#you are all so wonderful and i dont know what i did to deserve you all
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i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.
what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.
in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?
obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)
#and this isnt getting into how trans mothwing outside of mothpool is a really good way to read her character#sorry. remembered the shit bonefall got despite being trans as well and got annoyed#that especially annoys me bc hes got plenty of surrogacies but the second hed touch a trans pregnancy#‘’no you cant do that!!! you freak!!! obviously you only see trans people as a loophole for gays to have babies!!!’’#also my gf and i were talking and obviously take this with a grain of salt bc this is our experience#but…. i think a lot of the ppl saying this……. havent really talked to trans women?#dude some of the ones i know LOVE the idea of getting people pregnant#did you know trans women have sex? did you know trans people in general have sex?? did you know trans people irl wanna start families?#did you know that? did you? or do you black out at the idea of a trans woman being anything but strictly pure and nonsexual#and OBVIOUSLY this is not every trans woman. some do have dysphoria around the idea#but im genuinely starting to wonder how these people act around irl transgender parents#whether they had kids before or after coming out#bc ngl. the attitude that thinking about this makes you a transphobic pervert?#directed at trans people making content for themselves?#im starting to think you all just dont want us to reproduce. if we reproduce we arent ‘’good’’ trans people#because a ‘’real’’ man wouldnt carry a child. a ‘’real’’ woman would carry the child. and god forbid the gays even THINK about reproducing#and being around children!#if we have children then we’re doing things that might make cishets look at us and declare we’re not perfect#we’ve proved we’re not just identical to cis ppl!! (and therefore deserving of respect!)#idk. i think this was mostly a case of tumblr going ‘’oh someone said no to this so lets push this to an unhealthy extreme!!’’#and i cant help but notice nobody really brings up nonbinary parents at all in this discussion#not that we have it ‘’better’’ or anything for that but yknow. are we supposed to swear it off?#is the idea of us having kids inconcievable? or worse…. does it mean we ‘’picked a side?’’#so its not even worth getting mad at a pregnant nb person bc ‘’well thats a woman so who cares’’b#HMMMMM.#ohhhh i bet they also get mad if you make transfem pregnancy possible too. no winning#idk really think about it when you go ‘’you can NEVER EVER portray a trans person starting a family. bc REAL trans people would never.’’#ohhh you probably get mad when trans ppl dont get surgery for one reason or another dontcha#whether we want to or its not in the cards for us for whatever reason like cost and such#(while also getting mad if we do bc we cannot win in this no matter what)
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Yet again hindered by the "this reply is hidden because you have the user blocked" message. It has me Almost wondering whether I'd be better off not blocking so many people. So that I can freely be a nosy bitch.
Almost, but not quite. My block list is for my sanity, after all.
#speculation nation#though sometimes i do wonder about whether all the ppl i have blocked Should be blocked.#they all get shoved into the same list but it's not like tumblr lets me record why i blocked them.#sometimes it's as inane as 'annoyed me too much with that one take in the tags'. and sometimes it's like. genuine bigotry lol#there r definitely plenty of users id like to keep blocked. but i wonder if there r any blogs that like. dont Really deserve to be blocked?#but to go thru my list of blocked users would require taking psychic damage in my attempts to judge Why i blocked them all.#sometimes i do wonder if random ppl in the fandom try to go on my blog but cant bc i have them blocked for stupid shit#bc i do have a semi-popular fanfiction!!! a well love fanfiction!!! what if someone reads it then finds out theyre blocked on here!!!#frankly id be mortified if i discovered that lol. like 'what did i even do????'#and well there are some things i dont budge on (like blocking anyone that puts k/v in front of me)#(it's an immediate block bc even tho i have the tags blocked i still hate even seeing mention of them in a blocked post#so i block anyone who posts it into the tag so theres no chance of seeing it from them again! simple solution.)#but. for the things that r just stupid reasons. i feel kinda guilty. like im sorry. im just a little block-happy in the tags 😭#it's how ive stayed sane tag diving daily for the past 4+ years. you must understand.#im probably overthinking this lol. but if ur blocked by me & dont know why then uhhh. sorry !
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will forever have a soft spot for chloe cause yeah dawg i get it we can try to avoid becoming attached out of the overwhelming fear of being abandoned again but miserably fail together
#she's not the best person ever#but no one is#and i'm not excusing a lot of her actions#like the way she acted when kate called max will always leave me biting my fist out of frustration#but people love to just stare at the surface n focus on the parts of her that aren't great#n don't bother to wonder what got her there#the part that jumps to conclusions and does things out of pure selfishness#and that part that doesn't really think things through...#like shooting that damn bumper#but i GET IT#putting so much trust and love into people just to have them disappear on you especially if you dont know if its intentional#not getting closure can do SO much damage it's not even funny#n it legit can just make you feel like an idiot when you look back like#why did i try so hard just to end up alone#like this girls life went downhill at the age of 14#she just like me fr 😭😭😭😭😭😭#no but#it's hard not to feel like the worlds against you#even at the end she acknowledges that she's been selfish#SO#i don't like believing that she chooses to be this way yknow like#i truly think that she believes acting like a hardass all the time is the only way she'll be able to get by anymore#she lost her dad n then max n then tried again with rachel and then lost her#i'd be fuckin insane too#girl just doesn't wanna be hurt anymore#there's better ways of coping and acting but overall i get where she's coming from#n ill always save her bc i genuinely believe that she deserves a second chance#to live her life and find happiness again#life is strange#chloe price
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I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually
#like its so cute honestly but sometimes i wonder how hard it would actually be to like find the right color match#maybe one day... but for now probably expect oc art with this trend in it maybe 💀#the thing about it too is i have like dark eyes and idk if ive ever seen like a dark brown nail polish. beads or thread yeah but ya#oh nvm i googled. it exists i just dont pay attention ig#OH you know what i can do... i can paint pepperonis eye color on my nails.... my baby... my kitty......#dude it feels like 5 am why is it only 2#amyways. 4 monsters was a big mistake i think... i feel quite icky...#it doesnt help i didnt eat for a majority of the day it was just monster. im really unhealthy. need water maybe#wait i was talking about nail polish how did i get here#i just want to actually do cute couple things. i must heal. im gonna be so healthy.#its fine. lmao. i just know im not ready#oh i did eat btw dont worry lmao i had. chicken nuggets#i actually have to eat more bc i need to gain back some weight or they wont let me donate plasma#my extra pokemon money..... nawr...#i dropped like 10 pounds. my current job is very physical. lots of scuttling around.#i thought about working out too? i had a short phase last year in like spring or something where i started doing workout type stuff#so like.. maybe. probably should. healtly mindset shit yk#i also maybe want some more clothes. like update my wardrobe a bit. really figure out my style.#like some cool shirts and maybe pants. cause i wear a lot of the same stuff#also again. dropped weight so. need better fitting pants.....#i want more mens pants. big pockets... gender....#anyways. nice chatting with you besties. love you guys my silly little tumblr besties.#some of you that follow this sideblog have supported me on here for a while. i see you. i appreciate you. thank you 💖#genuinely there are names that pop up and im like !! hello!!! its you!!!!!#you guys probably know who you are. go get yourself a little treat you deserve it. or like. idk what you enjoy.#play a good game. watch your favorite show. idk. be happy. love yourself.#this also goes out to those of you who are more passive on my blog. i appreciate you too!! thank you!#all my little tumblr followers.... my besties..... unles you are a bot i havent cleared out lmao#k i might have to go to bed idk im tired well see
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I miss Nishiki. Misshiki.
#smol speaks#that's it that's the post#akira nishikiyama#yknow he is kinda cringefail but more so he's just a sweet and pretty boy who just got fucked over#like it was one thing after another with him (GOD knows what theyre gonna put him through in 0)#actually speaking of 0 so far he seems to be the one with his shit together?? like he actually knows what the fuck he's doing#and he's charming and charismatic meanwhile Kiryu's here just bein a fuckin idiot and having to follow Nishiki's lead (and FAILING)#and yet it's him who ends up being the favourite and everyone loves and respects him and just think Nishiki's a lil bitch boy#who they can push around and Kashiwagi and Kazama dont stand up for him or support him or anythin like BRO PAY FOR YUKO'S SURGERY????#like no WONDER my man's turned all evil and fucked up and like yeah he did a buncha bad shit i aint denying that at all#i just...i get it ya know? my boy deserved better. hell ALL my boys deserve better. poor Kiryu too#basically fuck you Kazama /lh anyway i would like to kiss Nishiki on the mouth#he's too pretty for this shit
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this is to ONE PERSON and one person ONLY. if you're confused, it's not you!
#you know. i saw you posted today from a different account. and it was one i totally forgot about#i didnt even feel like running back this time. was i curious? yes. did i end up looking? yep.#im saying this even though im 98% sure you cant see it but whatever. since when has that stopped me before?#you seemed fine. to say seeing that didnt piss me off would be a lie. oops i guess#i think its funny how the last thing you posted was stolen from me.#today it was one of those tag games we used to do together. your taglist was empty with some excuse of being absent on this app#i cant help but wonder if thats really all of it. if thats the whole story or not. i have a feeling the answer is no#i dont think youll ever understand the impact of what you did to me and the ways that you treated me. how that immensely fucked me up#or how youve basically thrown me to the wolves ever since you emotionally checked out.#you act like i never mattered to you and its been like that for forever. i made so many excuses on your behalf that i never should have.#these days the thought of you makes me go insane. the kind of insane that leaves me up all night and makes me wanna scream at the top#of my lungs. i have been consumed by anguish and hate. yes. im not afraid to say it anymore. i hate what happened and what you did to me#and sometimes i even hate you. and i dont even feel bad about it. im so over that because if theres anything i deserve after this hell then#its the capability to hate. for once in my life.#i saw your post and wondered if you thought of me. and i hope you did. i hope you thought of me and at the very least it stung.#because whether you want to admit it or not i was someone good. i bent over backwards for you every other day. try finding someone to do#everything that i did for you that you never appreciated. try finding someone who will care as much as i did about someone who couldnt be#bothered to tell me happy birthday. i dare you. because im tired of being sad that youre not here. im tired of being the one whos mourning#im so over it actually. because really i did so much for you. i gave up so much to be a good friend and it was never enough. i genuinely#cared about you. im not going to torture myself anymore by overanalyzing your posts or by thinking that i was nothing to you#because in one way or another youll miss me. and i hope the feeling is hell.#in the wise and paraphrased words of taylor swift. karma only comes back around to those who deserve it#in other words ill be fine#em speaks#tw vent ish#sorry to everyone else although i applaud you for being nosy lmao. gotta have my girlboss moment <3
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I wanna rant abt aro shit again buttttttt it involves getting all philosophical abt the concept of love and I don't wanna touch that with a ten foot pole my mental health can't take it rn lol
#rat rambles#I just think. it barely means anything. besides what it is to individuals. which is important but not world defining. ok dont yell at me#also god damn am I struggling to find info on the history of the concept of love thats not just extremely christian#and also every attempt to define it seems to define it less so like. if someone doesnt connect with the word and idea of love who cares#well evidently a lot of ppl but like thatll always be the case unfortunately#I just rly dont like love as a moral standard because its definition can therefor be argued to exclude whoever you want#I just think. hear me out. we shouldnt be trying to prove for or against ppl being human with a extremely vaguely defined emotion#or any emotion for that matter#I just think that maybe. possibly. someone being a literal actual human. might be enough to prove that theyre human. idk just a thought#and that all humans deserve basic human rights. wild concept right /s#and like its great if love is the meaning of life to you. but maybe. just maybe. we shouldnt be demonising ppl who dont feel that way abt#themselves. and like. idk. maybe some ppl might have good reason to feel disconected by the concept of love as it exists. idk.#like who knows maybe the way we discuss love makes it an ample weapon both for and against minorities and that can be kinda scary#and as a neurodivergent mentally ill agender acearo lesbian person I mean rly scary.#just. pls be kind to loveless aros and other aspec ppl or just ppl who dont center their worlds around love pls. thanks#again if love is important to you and your life thats genuinely wonderful for you and Im glad. just. dont be shitty to ppl abt it pls.#ok I accidentially did rant a bit but I am holding back so like. idk consider this the polite short version fkfnfjfnf#rat rants
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I hope I'm able to let things go that have no purpose in sticking around but I hope that i don't forget what they taught me
#been thinking a lot about bitter ends to friendships ive had recently.#and its not all bad. one person did reach out to reconnect so i know im not totally unfogiveable#but sometimes like. i wonder what pushed me to act like that. or who.#was i feeling like i needed to protect something. was losing each of those friendships needed for me to go on#i like to think so but its hard.#the last 4 people i fought with was hard. one of them doesnt deserve any place in my life anymore.#3 of them were too codependant on each other to understand anybody else.#and sometimes i think about compromise. what couldve been done instead of fighting.#but maybe that fighting was necessary for some of those people.#sometimes i feel like ive been cornered by people into lashing out. sometimes not even by the people im fighting with.#sometimes i feel cornered by other people to start a fight. but how do you even tell that to someone.#like. when things go down i feel like if i dont fight and raise hell you think less of me. how do you tell someone that.#i find validation in some truly hurtful places and i dont like that i do it. but idk.#its a cycle that keeps perpetuating because its been egged on for so long. by everyone around me.
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ihateyouihateyouihateyou
#journal#I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH#YOU ONLY GOT INTO MY FAVORITE THING AFTER WE BROKE UO#YOU MADE EVERY EXCUSE NOT TO GET INTO IR. HOW COME I WASNEVER GOOD ENOUGJ DOR YOU TO JUST LIKE ONE THING FOR ME#IFUCKING HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YOU#i can barelt watch rhis show without wantinf to throw up now#i dont fucking care fhat you changed thestupid fucking design so you dojt associate it with me anymore#its a wonder i didnt kill myself that night.you knew that couldve put me in the hospital#you ruined my life for a whike. and i dont rhink you care#everyone wants me to get better and everyone wants me to apologize#no one ever apologized to me#i deserved an apology and No One ever gave me one#i hate you and i hate you and i hate you#you made me confess just to reject me#you roped me in just to cur me off#so did everyone ekse!#i hope youre haopy. all of my friends told me to break up with uou righr frim the start#i made so many excuses for you#i gave my friend your @ just so he can block you. he hates all of you so much#i hope one day you feel horribke for what you did#i know you dont feel bad now. i wasnt the only selfish one.#💭
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౨ৎ FOOLISH ONE ౨ৎ
masterlist / rules / requests & talks with me!
SUMMARY౨ৎ Love sucks. Men suck. Even worse? Your “date” stood up up. To cheer you up, your friend invites you to a F1 race to cheer on her boyfriend and meet some new people. Not your thing. But a new face gives you hope.
PAIRING ౨ৎ Lando Norris x Fem!Reader
WARNINGS ౨ৎ men sucking ass and being assholes (lando not included), spelling mistakes
A/N ౨ৎ i’ve been holding back this fic longer than i should have 🥴 enjoy!!
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y/n_l/n has posted 3 new stories!
201 people replied to your stories!
user1 DONT TELL ME WHAT I THINK HAPPENED HAPPENED :((
user2 all she wants is love bro 😞
user3 being stood up for the 3rd time is so tough. i’m so sorry lovely ❤️🩹
lilyzneimer my baby :(( text the gc if you want to talk 🩷
→ y/n_l/n i will in a bit i just need to recollect myself 🥹
oscarpiastri who needs to be run over. name and address.
→ y/n_l/n oscahhhh 😭😭
IMESSAGES
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y/n_l/n
📍 Sunshine State
y/n_l/n going on a trip 🌺🌴☀️🐬
1,498 comments
user1 i hope you have a wonderful trip especially after what happened :(
user2 girl you deserve this trip after the cheating ex-bf and 3 ghosters
user3 I NEED TO KNOW WHERE TO 😩😩
→ y/n_l/n that’s a secret 🤫
user4 you deserve this so much. men suck ass
→ y/n_l/n MEN SUCK ASS 🗣️ 🔥 !!!
oscarpiastri something tells me i’m going to regret this
→ user5 WHAT DO YOU KNOW OSCAR
→ user6 i’m telling you guys it’s a gp
→ user7 gp??? you guys know she hates them and she said it plenty times before 😭😭
→ user8 you never know.. 😋
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oscarpiastri has posted a story 12 minutes ago!
562 people replied to your stories!
user8 HELLO DID YOU AND LILY LOSE Y/N??? 😭😭
user9 STOP NO WONDER SHE LOOKED SO LOST IN OTHER PEOPLE’S TWEETS😭
lilyzneimer oscar, y/n is actually going to kill us. why did she even leave the garage?!
→ oscarpiastri ✔︎ she needed to use the bathroom but i sorta forgot her directions aren’t… the best. → lilyzneimer she’s never coming back to a gp ever again. → oscarpiastri ✔︎ yeah. i wouldn’t be surprised.
landonorris ✔︎ i think i have who you’re looking for..
y/n_l/n OSCAR JACK PIASTRI OPEN YOUR MESSAGES RN A GUY GAVE ME HIS NUMBER
oscarpiastri ✔︎ why am i scared…
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y/n_l/n and oscarpiastri have posted new stories!
738 people replied to your story! 849 people replied to your story!
user10 “who is this man” GIRL THATS LANDO NORRIS 💀💀
→ y/n_l/n lando who now
→ user10 your..? your best friends team mate..?
user11 NOT LANDO TRYING TO FLIRT WITH HER WHILE OSCAR IS TRYING TO FIND HER
user12 why do lando and y/n look like they got caught doing something they aren’t supposed to do 😭
user13 the lando y/n meeting wasn’t expected but now? it’s a need.
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landonorris ✔︎
landonorris WWE FUCKIJG DID IT. P1 🏆
5,493 comments
user14 HE DID IT!!
→ user15 IT TOOK A COUPLE YEARS BUT HE DID IT!!!
user16 sochi??? what’s sochi??? i only know miami!!
oscarpiastri ✔︎ well done man 👏👏👏
lewishamilton ✔︎ WELL DONE
y/n_l/n y’know… f1 races aren’t so bad
*♥️ by Author !!*
→ landonorris ✔︎ it’s better with you here. i mean, i did win the one race you’re here 😏
→ user17 lando making the moves??
→ user18 the second hand embarrassment because she didn’t reply back after that 😭😭
oscarpiastri ✔︎ @ landonorris making moves on one of my best friends??
→ landonorris ✔︎ why not?
→ oscarpiastri ✔︎ but why
→ landonorris ✔︎ why not
→ oscarpiastri ✔︎ but why tho 😐
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y/n_l/n
📍 Italia
y/n_l/n he said whoever loses pays.
tagged ; landonorris
1,250 comments
user19 LANDO-Y/N PT 2???
user20 is she there for emilia-romangna???
→ user21 I THINK SO
→ user22 the way they are fueling my delusion
user23 why are the cute together 🥴
→ user24 they can literally just be friends
→ user25 yeah and friends play chess and explore italy which is a romantic destination 💀
oscarpiastri ✔︎ sooo… did he win?
→ y/n_l/n are you kidding me? i wiped the floor with him
landonorris ✔︎ $100 down the drain 😐
→ y/n_l/n down the drain? more like down into my stomach
→ landonorris ✔︎ yeah yeah 😒
→ y/n_l/n ✔︎ don’t get pissy with me YOU are the one that insisted on going there AND paying BEFORE the chess game 🤨
→ user26 STOP THAT’S CUTE :((
user27 y/n and lando hanging out even though she hates grand prixs? this was not on my 2024 bingo card
→ user28 it def wasn’t but lord do they look good together
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landonorris ✔︎
landonorris fun days 🌊
1,690 comments
user29 HELLO THE SECOND PHOTO???
→ user33 mommy? sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy-
user30 IT SO OBVIOUSLY HER
→ user31 her?? who’s her??
→ user32 y/n!! she’s oscar and lily’s friend and hanged out with lando not too long ago actually
→ user31 oh. but how do we know it’s her???
carlossainz55 ✔︎ little lando norris isn’t so little anymore 😆 they grow up so fast 😭
→ landonorris ✔︎ haven’t been little for the past 8 years…
→ carlossainz55 ✔︎ i don’t know the texts send say otherwise
oscarpiastri ✔︎ huh. interesting.
→ landonorris ✔︎ …😰
oscarpiastri ✔︎ @ y/n_l/n you left me and lily for him? this guy?
→ user33 OSCAR CALLING HER OUT FOR LEAVING THEM???
→ user34 classic oscar fashion 💀
→ y/n_l/n he promised me that he had something worthwhile 😕
→ oscarpiastri ✔︎ i did not need to know this.
→ y/n_l/n wdym???
→ y/n_l/n OMG OSCAR
→ y/n_l/n YOU LITTLE SHIT I DIDN:T MEAN IT LIKE THAT
→ y/n_l/n LANDO SAID HE HAD THE GOOD HÄAGEN-DAZS ICE CREAM :((
→ landonorris ✔︎ and it was some very good häagen-dazs ice cream 😏
→ y/n_l/n YOU’RE NOT HELPING LAN 😭😭
→ user35 LMAOAOOA
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y/n_l/n
320 people replied to your story!
landonorris ✔︎ dare I say.. boyfriend material?
→ y/n_l/n husband actually ☝️☝️
→ landonorris ✔︎ updates already?? barely even a month in 🥴
→ y/n_l/n what can I say? You’re the one and when you know, you know 🩷
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landonorris ✔︎
landonorris might have lost the race… but at least i’ve won first her heart :)) (ps: the only blonde that would separate us is if you dye yours blonde)
tagged ; y/n_l/n
3,018 comments
user36 THE CAPTION 😭😭
user37 AFTER THE DRAMA??
user38 bro said “lemme make a statement” after the accusations 😭
user39 everyone assumed so quickly as if it wasn’t obvious y/n and lando were dating
user40 i was expecting this but wasn’t at the same time
y/n_l/n ✔︎ yeah maybe second place
→ landonorris ✔︎ can i not be loving and romantic?? 😞😞
→ y/n_l/n ✔︎ just joking love you my mystical gnome 🩷
→ landonorris ✔︎ MYSTICAL GNOME???
→ user41 HELLO THATS SO RANDOM
oscarpiastri ✔︎ break her heart, and i’ll run you off the track
→ landonorris ✔︎ yes sir. won’t happen sir.
y/n_l/n
y/n_l/n i think i could get used to this sorta love. 🩷
tagged ; landonorris
3.959 comments
francisca.cgomes cutie(s)
→ y/n_l/n no u 🤭
→ landonorris ✔︎ it hasn’t even been a month and you already took my girl??
→ francisca.cgomes ✔︎ you snooze you lose 🤷♀️
user42 THEY BOTH DID IT!!
user43 CONFIRMED I REPEAT Y/N-LANDO IS CONFIRMED!!
user44 ITS HAPPENING GUYS Y/N FINALLY GOT A BF!!
lilyzneimer thank me everyone!! im the one that convinced her to go to the grand prix!!
→ oscarpiastri ✔︎ thank you lily!! (i don’t get to hear y/n’s heart breaking because of idiots)
→ user45 thank you lily!! (we all say in unison.)
user46 all it took was one miami win and one text message to convince y/n.
→ user47 booking my own miami ticket after this 👩💻
oscarpiastri ✔︎ okay… maybe you guys are just a bit cute
landonorris ✔︎ who’s that pretty girl and handsome man in the photos?? 🤔
→ y/n_l/n hmmm… i heard their names are y/n and lando the best couple to ever??? even though her boyfriend is a little stupid at times she still loves him 🩷
→ landonorris ✔︎ loooovveee youuuuuu
→ landonorris ✔︎ but seriously. i love you so much and i’ll never take you for granted or do any of the nasty crap you went through. you deserve the world my love ❤️
→ y/n_l/n what if i cried.
→ landonorris ✔︎ then i’ll wipe your tears.
→ oscarpiastri ✔︎ aw. (im hurling)
#☆゚ user ↳ theyluvkarolina ◝#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#formula 1#☆゚ smau ↳ theyluvkarolina ◝#f1 smau#formula one x reader#formula one x you#f1 imagine#lando norris x reader#lando norris#lando x reader#f1 fic#oscar piastri#carlos sainz#lily zneimer
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[Yandere.Rich man x ballerina reader]
(I don’t actually know much about ballet so forgive me if things are incorrect!)
—————
Rich. Yandere who was pestered by his friend and his wife to join them at the opera house and enjoy a performance. The couple had asked him numerous times before but he’d always declined. He was a workaholic and didn’t have any other commitments, so there was no need to break his routine. Although he would never admit it to anyone- he barely does to himself- he often find himself imagining a different life; one where he had a wife to welcome him home every evening. Perhaps a few children too. There was no sound besides himself and the staff in his home, it would be so very nice to hear the noise of running feet and happy chatter echo through the empty halls.
Rich. Yandere who is lonely above all else. His family is dead and he has next to no friends- the only one he has is married and devote all his time to keep him company. He knows that he doesn’t have the best track-record of being the kindest person in the world, and he might not be the friendliest or the most out-going, still, doesn’t he deserve some love too?
Rich. Yandere who eventually give into his friends demand and goes with them to the opera. As they took their seats- the expensive and best ones, of course- his friends wife babble on about her favourite dancer. They were regulars there and had seen many performances. He simply sighed and leaned back into his seat, waiting for the show to begin. He could only hope that it’ll be somewhat enjoyable since he doesn’t like wasting his time.
Rich. Yandere who was prepared for it to be a dreadful 3 hours, rubbing his eyes and suffering from lack of blood-flow in his legs. Oh how wrong he was. Instantly his gaze zoomed into you as soon as you stepped forward from behind the curtain. You were so beautiful and you moved your body gracefully to the music. It was magical. While he knew close to nothing about ballet, he knew that the point of it were for the women to look like they’re floating, and it’s exactly what you were doing.
Rich. Yandere who is instantly enamoured with you. As someone who’s never felt love this was all a brand new experience for him. He asked his friend and his wife if they knew who you were, since they frequent the opera so much. And turns out the wife did know who you were; you were her favourite after all. Rich. Yandere was never close with her or particularly liked her even, but he had to give it to her: she has excellent taste in performers.
Rich. Yandere who starts looking up information regarding you. It’s be your name, age, background, family, where you went to school and where you live. Everything. He also begins donating a lot of money to the opera house. In a short amount of time he’s become their nr.1 funder. The managers and owners are ecstatic at the news! They ask why he’s so generous and he simply answers that he loves culture and thinks it’s important it doesn’t disappear. Then, they wonder if there is anything they can do for him return, to which he smiles in response.
“Well, I do suppose there is one dancer I would be delighted to meet in person.”
Rich. Yandere who you feel uncomfortable around. He is so strange. You were just a normal ballerina, a dancer, no better or worse than anyone before your time. That’s why you can’t fathom the interest this wealthy man has taken in you. You two came form completely different worlds! But what can you do when your bosses not-so-gently urge you to see this man alone? You dont have any other skills and can’t apply to another job if you get fired.
Rich. Yandere who is determined to make you fall for him the way he has fallen for you. He’ll take care of you, love you and protect you. You don’t have to worry about a thing. He will do anything for his love.
“Don’t be scared, just keep on dancing, my little dancer.”
#oc#yandere oc#obsessed#male yandere#possesive#misstycloud oc#toxic#yandere#yandere x reader#rich yandere#yandere rich man#yandere rich#yandere x ballerina#yandere x ballerina reader#yandere rich x ballerina#yandere rich x ballerina reader#rich man x ballerina#rich yandere x dancer reader#dancer reader#ballerina reader
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I DESPERATELY NEED THEM PIASTRI FICS 💳💳💥
FIRST OSCAR FIC 🥺 i know this concept has been done before but i loved how this one turned out and i hope you do too ! lmk your thoughts
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
liked by madisonbeer, oscarpiastri and 2,574,339 others
yourinstagram GUTS has been out for a week !! what’s yalls favorite song? 🤧
view all 15,965 comments
ynfan1 DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE
mtv definitely get him back!
ynfan2 choosing a favorite guts song is like choosing a favorite child
dualipa STUNNING ANGEL 🤩
oscarfan1 can oscar reply to this i want to know his favorite song
↳ oscarfan2 wbk he has this album on repeat
chappelroan lacy oh lacy 😩
oscarpiastri Love is embarrassing or logical
↳ oscarfan1 THERE YOU HAVE IT
↳ oscarfan2 whatever you do don’t picture oscar singing love is embarrassing like a teenage girl
↳ ynfan1 crying bc i bet yn has no idea of who he is
liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 287,689 others
oscarpiastri F1 race winner has a nice ring to it 🧡
view all 7,773 comments
oscarfan1 FINALLYYY MY WINNER
landonorris Congrats mate ! Deserve it 👊
↳ oscarfan2 LOMLS
mclaren YES, YES IT DOES! 👏 So good today, Oscar. 🧡
longansargeant So proud of you mate 🙌
oscarfan3 do you think his crush will acknowledge his existence now that he’s a winner?
↳ oscarfan1 wait who’s his crush im out of the loop
↳ oscarfan3 singer and actress yn lol
↳ ynfan1 i love this lore so much
//
liked by oscarpiastri, arianagrande and 2,740,727 others
yourinstagram tickets for the GUTS tour are on sale now who’s cominggggg🥶
view all 16,725 comments
ynfan1 LETS GOOO
chappelroan i can’t wait for thissss💜
ynfan2 tour of the decade already
mtv pop princess is coming
oscarfan1 do you think oscar woke up for the fan pre sale and got into the queue and all
↳ oscarfan2 you BET
oscarpiastri Count me in ♥︎ by author
↳ oscarfan1 HEEEEELP
↳ ynfan1 yn liked his comment 😭
↳ oscarfan2 somebody check on oscar please
//
liked by yourinstagram, landonorris and 288,293 others
oscarpiastri Days off 🌊
view all 7,238 comments
oscarfan1 this is the hottest man alive
mclaren 🙌
oscarfan2 not him posting this right after yn followed him 😭 we know what you’re doing sir
ynfan1 yn likeddd
↳ ynfan2 i love how both fandoms are rooting for them now
landonorris Looks dope 👊
yourinstagram niiiiceeee 😃
↳ ynfan1 HELLO????
↳ oscarfan1 now he’s for real going to pass out
↳ oscarfan2 i bet he’s staring at his phone wondering if this is real or if she was hacked
↳ ynfan2 i know this woman SHES FLIRTING
↳ ynfan3 come on girl give him a chance
four months later
//
liked by ynfan1, oscarfan1 and 17,397 others
f1gossip Oscar Piastri with singer and actress YN in Los Angeles today 👀
view all 3,028 comments
oscarfan1 OMFG
oscarfan2 no way…
ynfan1 YALL, HE GOT IT
oscarfan3 i cannot believe my eyes, oscar has been simping over her on the internet since 2020 and how we have THIS
ynfan2 i really need to know how did this happen
oscarfan4 okay but THEIR SMILES !!!!
ynfan3 finally a guy who’s not a loser and/or an old ass
liked by oscarpiastri, sabrinacarpenter and 2,836,473 others
yourinstagram pastry boy clearly didn’t wait until i finished sneezing to take this picture 🤧
view all 17,826 comments
ynfan1 IS SHE TALKING ABOUT OSCAR??
oscarfan1 PASTRY BOY AS IN OSCAR PIASTRI ?
conangray love me a soft launch 🧐
↳ ynfan1 OMFGGGGGG
ynfan2 i can’t believe she’s potentially dating someone her age and with a job FINALLY
oscarfan2 oscar is proof that persistence is key and manifestation works
landonorris Typical pastry fashion
↳ yourinstagram idk how you deal with him all the time
↳ oscarfan1 ALSJAO THIS IS TOO MUCH
↳ oscarfan2 i need her to befriend the entire grid ASAP
oscarpiastri But it made it to your Instagram, so you’re welcome
↳ yourinstagram well thank you you’re very humble
↳ oscarpiastri Anytime 🤍
↳ oscarfan1 I’VE DIED DEAD
↳ ynfan1 stop flirting in front of us HELLO?
after the date
//
liked by oscarpiastri, chappelroan and 2,027,933 others
yourinstagram the GUTS tour takes tokyo today !!! this is going to be one of the most special shows ever 🥺
view all 25,736 comments
ynfan1 AHHHH
ynfan2 huuuhh is she planning something ??
conangray that’s my best friend 😍
oscarfan1 oscar dating a popstar is the best thing ever look at herrr
landonorris Can’t wait 🙌🏻
↳ landofan1 HUHHH?
↳ oscarfan1 is he going ?? WITH OSCAR ??
sabrinacarpenter 💗💗💗
oscarpiastri Please sing deja vu tonight
↳ yourinstagram you got it
↳ oscarfan1 AH I CANT BELIEVE WE MIGHT HAVE OSCAR (AND LANDO??) ATTENDING HER SHOW
//
liked by landonorris, yourinstagram and 538,299 others
oscarpiastri I had the best time ever in Tokyo 🙌🏻
view all 8,626 comments
oscarfan1 BABYYY
oscarfan2 i love him so bad
mclaren 🧡
ynfan1 oh we know why he had the best time
logansargeant Little boy in love
↳ oscarfan1 HWEEELP ME
landonorris Why are you posing like a five year old?
↳ landofan1 HEEEEEELP ME
↳ oscarfan1 i love them bad
↳ yourinstagram I SAID THE SAME THING !!
↳ ynfan1 man i love this
yourinstagram no picture credits ? really ?
↳ ynfan2 AHHH
↳ oscarpiastri 📸 credits to Miss America
↳ oscarfan3 WHY AM I CRYING
liked by oscarpiastri, madisonbeer and 2,197,499 others
yourinstagram night version. 📸 by vroom vroom guy
view all 17,836 comments
ynfan1 OMFG???
oscarfan1 VROOM VROOM GUY?
mtv 🏎️ & 🎤 together was the best thing that happened to us
ynfan2 it’s actually so refreshing to see her dating someone her age who she can have fun with and not some pretentious old ass man who mansplains her
landonorris My children 🫶🏻
↳ landofan1 lando is the biggest shooter for this relationship
oscarfan2 oscar really bagged his biggest crush by being on her comments all the time that’s persistence
alexandrasaintmleux Belleeee 💕
↳ yourinstagram aleeeex i loved hanging out with you let's go out without the boys soon
↳ charlesfan1 LET ME IIIINNN
ynfan3 and when yn writes a song for him
logansargeant I can’t wait to meet you!
↳ yourinstagram pastry is sooo wrong for not introducing us yet
↳ oscarfan1 oscar wdym you haven’t introduced your gf to your best friend
oscarpiastri 😍
↳ oscarfan1 OSCCCC
↳ ynfan1 he’s down bad i get him
//
liked by oscarfan1, ynfan1 and 18,826 others
ynupdates YN and Oscar out and about tonight !
view all 3,022 comments
ynfan1 OH LOOOORD
oscarfan1 I CANTTT
ynfan2 i can’t stress how good it is that she’s dating someone her age enough
oscarfan2 KING OF MANIFESTATION
ynfan3 i mean we already knew they were together but seeing them with all this pda is so cuuuuute
oscarfan3 IM SO JEALOUS
liked by oscarpiastri, troyesivan and 2,965,278 others
yourinstagram 5 new tunes for ya !!!! GUTS (spilled) out friday!!!
view all 25,926 comments
ynfan1 WTFFF I DIDNT SEE THIS COMING
ynfan2 CLAIMING SO AMERICAN
dualipa YEEES ❤️🔥
oscarfan1 i’m pretty sure there’s an oscar song there i just KNOW IT
ynfan3 more angsty breakup songs IM READY
landonorris 🙌🙌🙌🙌
oscarfan2 ready for oscar to annoy lando with those on repeat
mclaren We can’t wait to hear all of them 🧡
↳ oscarfan1 MCLAREN INTERN ARE YOU OKAY?
↳ ynfan1 she’s the people’s princess
oscarpiastri I can confirm those songs are amazing
↳ ynfan1 he already heard them IM SO JEALOUS
↳ oscarfan2 spill the tea are any of those about you
//
liked by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc and 869,044 others
oscarpiastri I laugh at all her jokes and I say she’s so American. So I might just be in lo-lo-lo-love 🧡
view all 9,725 comments
oscarfan1 LAJSIAHAUAB
oscarfan2 I 😭 CANT 😭 BELIEVE 😭 THIS
ynfan1 she’s wearing a friendship bracelet for him MY HEART
charles_leclerc I’m happy for you, son ❤️
↳ charlesfan1 CHARRRR
ynfan2 this is so cute i can’t also when did that sneaky shit go to his race
ynfan3 YN LOVER ERA YN SIMP ERA YN WAG ERA
oscarfan3 long story short: never give up on your celebrity crush
logansargeant ❤️❤️
landonorris Young love, so adorable
ynfan4 THE LYRICS REFERENCE
francisca.cgomes 🥺🥺🥺
↳ ynfan1 she’s already so loved by the wags
yourinstagram love youuuu, pastry 🤧
↳ ynfan2 i love all the nicknames he uses for him
↳ oscarfan1 pastry, vroom vroom boy. she’s just so romantic
#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#oscar piastri fanfiction#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri fake instagram#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri fic#oscar piastri x yn#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#formula 1 x reader#charles leclerc x reader#formula 1#oscar piastri writing#harrysfolklore#f1 grid x reader#1k#2k
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MDNI
Warnings: Accusation of Infedelity, heavily unedited writing (wrote this in a power outage in my notes app xx), fingering, eating pussy, dirty talk, dumbification if you squint REALLY hard.
One message is all it took for you to spiral.
Outrage was an understatement. A month, a single month, into Price’s deployment you had recieved a message from an unknown number. They insisted of Price having an affair with his so-called ‘receptionist.’ Being his wife, you didnt believe it. You and John had been married for years now. He wasnt that kind of man! (You hoped.)
Weeks passed and wheels start turning. Seeds of doubt had started digging into you. The late nights he had stayed at base before his deployment, only sending as much as a quick text of ‘Be home late. Dont wait up.’ Or the necessary secrecy between what happens at his job or deployment were starting to plant ideas in your head you wouldnt have ever had if not for that message. Youre being worn down, and its killing you. Its not like you could ask him; being thousands of kilometres away without any time to do as much as glance at his phone.
So the emotional resentment grew. You find yourself wondering how he could do this to you, crying in your empty home that housed the both of you not long ago. Before you even come to terms with it, Youve packed your bags and lawyered up, letting your resentment fester for far to long without any outside input.
On the third month of Prices deployment, you drive yourself up to base with one intention; leave the divorce papers on his desk to find when he comes back and to leave without confrontation.
Security on base knows you as ‘Price’s missus’ by now, offering a small wave and a smile as you walk by and into your husbands office. You put the papers on his desk, that frustration and hurt bubbling up all over again. He has your wedding photo framed on his desk and it only hurts more. What did you do to deserve this?
You turn to go, heading back towards his door when you hear muffled laughter and the sounds of gear being unzipped and dumped from down the hallway. Theyre back. You pick up the pace, praying you can slip out before he gets close enough to notice. You reach for the door handle, but the door opens before you can even grasp it.
Shit.
And there he is, your eyes drinking in the sight of the awfully more rugged version of your husband; beard outgrown and messy with tired eyes that light up at the sight of you.
That light dies as soon as sees just how mad you look.
“So youre telling me, one message is all it took to lose all fucking faith?” Price practically growls, fingers rubbing at his temples. Hes sat in his chair with you on the other side of his desk, just as furious. “Everything makes sense! The staying late at base, the short messages and lack of updates when your deployed!” You hiss, frustration bubbling over making anything small seem huge.
Price takes a deep breath, a futile attempt to calm his temper. “The shit I deal with doesnt sleep. Theres reasons i stay back that you will never know, love. The law itself, wont let me tell you. Same goes for messages. Im sorry i dont have the time to let you know im okay when im deployed, god knows i wish I did.” He scowls, his gaze so heated and intense that you almost look away despite your own fury.
“And what about this receptionist huh?”
Your tone has changed, soft and shaky. vunerable.
Price’s expression softens, but he doesnt say a word, simply rounding his desk to pluck you out of your own chair and putting you down in his office chair. He sinks to his knees in front of you, hands rested on your thighs. Blue eyes peer up at you, sickeningly sincere. “Love, I dont interact with her unless necessary. This isnt some romance movie bullshit.” Your heart is working overtime, lips parted as guilt bubbles. “You- you understand where my doubt is coming from, though…right? Everything lined up perfectly, and-“
Price simply tuts. “We’ve talked about that pretty little head of yours overthinking too much, havent we?” You freeze, throat drying. You nod. “Answer me, sweetheart.”
“Yes-“ you croak. “We have.”
Price grunts in approval, his hands now running up and down your thighs.
“Have you been feeling neglected, hm? Is that it? My sweet wife needs some attention?” Price rumbles, his large, calloused hands that have been marked by countless battles now playing with the hem of your skirt.
“You’ve got my attention now, luvie. No need to play these stupid games with me.”
Your mind is already growing hazy; your husbands words making you almost want to forget about this whole incident. A finger hooks onto the waistband of your panties, bringing you back to the moment.
“Stupid games? John i was prepared to divorce you-“ he shushes you, dragging your underwear down your thighs, then your calves and over your shoes before slipping them into his pocket. A cheeky smile graces his face. stupid muttonchops.
“Must’ve left you alone for far too long then, if you were willing to take it this far.”
He slings your legs over his impossibly large shoulders, making you squeak as your pulled forward on the chair.
“Wouldve come home and fucked those stupid thoughts straight out of your head if i had known you were having doubts about my loyalty, sweetheart.”
He presses a messy kiss to your clit, making you gasp. He grumbles something incoherent (“Me? Cheat? Silly girl.”), before licking a long stripe up your neglected cunt, causing your hips to buck. The taste of you after going months without has price groaning into your heat. He eats like a man starved, a mix of desire to prove his loyalty and that he finally gets to taste his wife after being away for so long.
Hes fuming, really. Toward you? No.
Towards whatever stupid bastard sent you that message. He’s glad you didnt notice him slip your phone in his pocket, because he knew you’d be against him hunting the fucker down. You just need a distraction to keep that pretty little head thinking too hard. And he’ll give you just that.
“Oh, my poor sweet wife…” He grunts, before sucking on your clit with a renewed fevor. He pulls off with a lewd pop, two thick fingers replacing his previous ministrations. You’re squirming in his office chair, mind hazy and hips bucking.
“Thinkin’ I was out here cheating on ya’… you know better, love.” He tuts.
His fingers curl so nicely into that spongey spot that makes you see stars. “M sorry-“ you’d slur, “I didnt believe it when I first saw the message I promise-“ you gasp as price presses his thumb against your clit, rubbing in small tight circles.
“Lovie, you stormed in here with divorce papers. Dont tell me you didn’t believe it.”
Your head tilts back as you pant, small gasps slipping past your lips.
“There we go.” Price coaxes, his fingers picking up their pace.
“Wouldnt even cross my mind to look at another woman when my gorgeous girl looks like that as I stuff her cunt full of my fingers.” He coos, watching your face intently as your release crashes down; intense enough to make you writhe and moan.
Price pulls his fingers from you, licking them clean before getting up off his knees. Your throat runs dry, bracing for whats to come even as you grapple your bearings. You’re mentally preparing for Price to be dissapointed, upset with you, maybe even mad.
He analyzes your expression, leaning back against his desk. His eyes scrape over your small form sat in his chair.
“Im not upset, love. That pretty little head of yours had months to overthink that message without a voice of reason.”
Price tilts your chin up.
“Lets just not have to do this again, hm? Then i’ll be mad.”
Its sounds like a threat, but it isnt. Price knows he’ll always be there to talk his beloved wife down from the edge.
#price x reader#price smut#john price smut#john price#call of duty#price call of duty#cod mw2#cod#price cod#john price x reader#captain john price#smut#im going insane#cod smut#angst?#captain price#price#captain johnathan price
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I read your “open relationship” post. And let me say, it reminded me of that one Reddit post where the husband asked his wife for an open relationship. The wife didn’t like it but agreed anyways, for months he was sleeping and bringing people home and the wife stayed far away from that as possible until she met a guy. He treated her right and she brought him home, they did the deed and the husband was curious and jealous on who his wife was seeing. Then he demanded that they closed their relationship- the wife ends up leaving the husband and loves happily ever after with the new guy☺️ maybe write something on that with Simon being the new guy?
implied nsfw
you roll your eyes as you see your "husband" enter your home with a girl. a sigh leaves your mouth as you stand up from the couch and grab a bottle of wine and go sit on the porch. you are tired of this, you never wanted this. but here you are, all because you wanted to make the excuse of a man you used to call husband happy.
and as the weeks go by you grow tired of the moans, the strangers in your home, the missing food on the fridge and the way that pathetic man thought he still deserved your love.
one day, at the supermarket your cars tire deflated, you panic and looking for the tools to change it, not that you really know how to do it. as you pace around your car with an anxious look on your face a low and husky voice sounds behind you. "need help?" your eyes widen and you turn around, looking up at the giant guy infront of you. the blonde guy looked calm, a big bag of food in one hand and a car key on his other. "i-... yeah"
he helped you, taking the tools from his car and changing your tire, he was a bit quiet but not mean. he answered all your questions, whats his name, when did he learned to change tires, bla bla bla. he spoke softly, not a single drop of sweat on his body after he was done with the job.
"there ya' go, sweetheart. good as new." he said as he patted the top of the car. your cheeks couldnt help but turn red. "thank you so much, i dont know how to repay you."
"ye' don't have to." he was putting the tools into their box, you panicked, not wanting him to leave, wanting an excuse to see him again. "i make good pies!"
"pies?" he looks at you, tilting his head. "yeah, i woul like to make one for you... as a thank you." a small smile paint your face, you see him smirk slightly. "m'kay, a pie sound good. give me yer number."
since that day simon became very close to you, he was all you wanted. a gentleman on the streets (and kn the sheets too). he understood your weird situation, yet, he always wondered why you didnt just leave your shit ass husband.
until one day you invites simon to your home.
"who is he?"
"oh, his name is simon." you say as simon stands behind you, glaring at the man he wishes he could kill.
"why is he here?"
"i invited him, duh."
"you didn't ask me."
"oh, since when do i have to ask? when have you asked me if you could bring someone over?" you turn around and grab simons hand leading him to your bedroom. "tell your lawyer to print the divorce papers, will you? and just as a little reminder, this house is under my name."
simon smiles proudly as you slam the door of the bedroom. your name would sound prettier with his last name anyways. simon just has to wait a bit for that question.
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hii i love love how u write spencer omds🥸
uhh i was wondering if you could write sth based off the song “we’ll never have sex” by leith ross? pls dont feel pressured to write this btw😭😭😭 hope ur having a good day lovely💗💗
hello my love i have no self control so this is extremely long and plotty but i love this song and i hope that this is any good at all crying emoji (i'm on a laptop LOL) enjoy!!
warnings/tags: angst/fluff, fem!reader, negative self-talk from reader, mentions of past sexual coercion/feeling used, mentions of past excessive drinking to combat social anxiety, ive been watching a lot of new girl lately and i think it shows, SO FRIENDS TO LOVERS, happy ending
You weren’t expecting to end up on Spencer Reid’s worn-leather couch at two in the morning, clutching a chipped mug of coffee in your hands as you listen to the sounds of the city from the street below. But there you are, sitting with your legs folded under you, in your favorite dress and first date-night makeup (now bleeding and smudged from all the crying.) And realizing that despite considering him one of your closest friends, you haven’t been to his apartment in a long time. There are, of course, good reasons for that—but you try to push those from your mind.
“I’m really sorry about this,” you sigh, staring at your warped reflection in the glassy black surface of your coffee. Spencer is coming out of the small kitchen, now bearing his own cup.
“Please, stop apologizing.”
You glance up, tentatively studying him from behind the safety of your mug. While he may not have been asleep when you knocked on his door ten minutes ago, lachrymose and barely verbal, he must have been getting ready for bed. He’s clad in patterned pajama pants, mismatched socks, and an FBI crewneck that is just big enough to reveal the collar of the tee-shirt underneath. He’s already taken out his contacts, and you were startled by the reminder that he also has glasses.
“So...” he begins, bringing you back to the present moment, “we don't have to talk about anything, if you don’t want to, but...”
You sigh, watching coffee bubbles swirl like stars in a galaxy.
“It’s fine. Honestly, I’m kind of embarrassed. I didn’t really think, I just... ended up here.”
“Yeah... where did you come from?” he laughs quietly. “Not that I’m complaining. But I recall you not living super close by.”
“No, no. I was actually on a date. Kind of.”
“Ah.” There’s a beat of silence, and ostensibly Spencer is waiting for you to say more, but instead you take a sip from your mug. “At two in the morning?” You nod dully, staring at the labyrinthine pattern of the Persian rug.
“I’m taking it that it wasn’t a very good date...?”
A whoosh of air escapes from your puffed cheeks.
“No it was not. Not by the end, anyway. It actually started really well, which made it even more disappointing when he...” you laugh, but there’s not much humor in it. “Well, when he kicked me out of his car on a street corner because I didn’t want to sleep with him.”
You don’t look to see Spencer’s reaction—only take another long, baleful sip of coffee and ignore the heavy silence.
“I’m really sorry. You... you deserve so much better than that.”
An attempt at a jaded scoff from you falls flat.
“Yeah, well. Tell that to the last three white house interns I’ve gone on dates with. It’s the same thing every time.”
“Have you considered going on fewer dates with white house interns...?” The nervous humor is a thin veil over genuine critique. You shrug, biting the inside of your cheek.
“It’s not just them. Every single guy I’ve liked since I was 15 has been like this. Even my past relationships, I felt like I was almost... tricked into, you know? I mean, these guys, they act all understanding and willing to take it slow or whatever, until you’re in a relationship, and suddenly they’re guilt tripping you so hard and making you feel so obligated to...” you catch yourself just in time, glancing up at Spencer. You’re not sure what to make of his expression. The drawn brow and slightly squinted eyes trained so intently on you could be sympathy, or anger, or pity, or apathy—you look away, not sure you even want to know what he’s thinking. “Sorry. You don’t need to hear all about that. Basically romance is exhausting and since I’ll clearly be single forever I’m considering running away to join a nunnery.”
When he doesn’t respond for too long, you look back up quizically.
“I’m not sure you know what romance actually is,” he says as soon as your gaze meets his, like the eye-contact activated some kind of hair-trigger in his vocal box.
You blink, lowering the coffee cup to your lap.
Says Spencer Reid?
“...sorry?”
He flushes, stammering to clarify himself.
“I just meant—I—I know I’m not exactly fighting women off with a stick—” he interrupts himself with a self-conscious (adorable) laugh— “but... but I have been in love, at least once.”
“Maeve,” you say, gently—trying to shove down bitter guilt as you remember how jealous you’d been when Spencer had first told you about her. “I remember.”
He swallows and nods.
“We never even met—we just talked. All the time. I had no idea what she looked like. But it didn’t matter at all. Because I knew her, and I loved her. Maybe things would have gone further if I hadn’t been calling her from public phone booths, but that wasn’t the most important thing to either of us. We were still in love.” You try to shut out the sharp ache in your chest. Being jealous of the way he speaks about a dead woman is so wrong.
“What I’m trying to say is that romance isn’t solely about sex, or even physical appearance. It sounds to me like you’ve been with a lot of men who don’t understand that. And it would be such a shame for you to write romance off in general before you even get to experience it. You are... an extraordinary woman. You’re funny, and intelligent, and kind, and so capable of being loved. One day, someone is going to see beyond your pulchritude and prove that to you. I hope you let them try.”
More tears blur the pattern on the rug, pooling in the rims of your eyes before spilling down your cheeks in fast, fat drops. Shakily you set the cup down, resting your elbows on your knees and hiding your face in your hands. You sniff once. Twice. Shake your head quickly, attempting to wipe the tears away without further smearing your makeup everywhere.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” Spencer breathes, leaning forward but obviously unsure how to comfort you. “Please don’t cry, I wasn’t--I was trying to do the opposite of this.”
“No, I’m sorry! You didn’t have to—you didn’t—I’m sorry. That was way too nice.”
But you're not crying because he was nice.
Someone will love you, but not me. That’s all you can hear.
His voice is a mere whisper when he next speaks.
“I meant every word.”
You take a shuddering breath, allowing yourself a moment of reprieve behind the peaceful black of your eyelids. You can’t be looking at his face when you say what you’re about to say.
“I had a crush on you for the longest time, you know.”
Ringing silence. But it doesn’t last as long as you’d imagined. It’s not as world ending.
“Had?”
The little smile in his voice is like a fist around your heart.
“Yeah. You know what changed?”
“What’s that?”
Absolutely nothing.
“Every time I got super drunk and started hitting on you, you’d just drive me home. And I did it a lot. Like, for months. But you were such a gentleman. It drove me fucking crazy. So eventually I figured you just didn’t like me and I gave up.”
Another stretch of silence. A breeze comes in from the open window, fluttering the curtains and cooling the tears on your face. His response is sad when it finally comes.
“You thought I didn’t like you because I didn’t try to take advantage of you when you were drunk?”
“Pretty much.” You smile ruefully, fingertips still pressed over your eyes. “God, listen to me. No wonder I get treated like garbage.”
“Stop. Don’t talk about yourself like that. Did you hear anything I just said?”
You sniff, looking to the ceiling.
“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. It was really sweet.”
More silence.
“But you don’t believe it.”
A bitter laugh poisons the air around you.
“I don’t know. I’m kind of tired of waiting for someone to prove it to me. Just for once, I want someone to be interested in me beyond having sex in the back of their fucking... Range Rover, or whatever. Like, maybe all that stuff you said is true, but there’s no evidence to support it, and I know logically you’re probably right but I can’t help wondering if... if I’m the outlier. Maybe there just isn’t someone for me like that. Maybe I’m just gonna be the sex in the back of the Range Rover girl forever.”
A noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob forces itself from your throat and you bury your face in your hands again, shaking your head.
“Wow, I am so sorry,” you say a little too loudly, “I did not mean to be this honest tonight. Did you spike my coffee?”
“You are not the outlier,” Spencer whispers.
You sniff, lifting your head haltingly to look at him.
“What?”
His voice shakes slightly as he speaks.
“You said you can’t help wondering if you’re the outlier, and maybe there just isn’t someone for you like that. That’s not true.”
“Spencer, those are just words. You can’t possibly know that. Statistical probabilities don’t count.”
“That’s... that’s not how I know.”
Your heart drops as you study his face.
No.
Surely he’s not saying what you think he’s saying.
Surely he wouldn’t do this to you after you’ve just told him everything you told him. You have been harboring feelings for him for years. Since you met. He can’t just spring this on you one night because you’re a little bummed out. If he felt the same, you would have found out a long time ago; he had ample opportunity to tell you. There was a period of months where you practically threw yourself all over him at every chance you got, and he did nothing. So this... this is just cruel—something you’ve never known Spencer Reid to be.
You stand up, trembling slightly with rage and grief and humiliation.
“Don’t do that. Don’t say things that you don’t mean just to make me feel better.”
“What are you doing? Don’t--”
You scoop up your purse, trying to get to the front door as fast as your gelatinous legs will allow. More tears are streaming down your face now and you don’t need him to see what he’s done to you—to see how much you care what he thinks.
“It’s fine. Thanks for the coffee, I’ll see you around—”
A hand around your wrist stops you in your tracks
“Stop. Just... please give me a second to talk, okay?”
With nothing left to give, you turn to him.
“Don’t be mean, Spencer. Don’t act like you liked me too. That makes me feel... so much worse.”
He takes a deep, shaky breath, as if steeling himself. Tawny eyes bore into your soul, and you realize that there is so much sheer nervous energy radiating off of him it’s infectious. Your heart begins to pound as he speaks.
“I’m not doing that. I’m being an idiot, because you just told me that you don’t feel that way about me anymore but... but I do. And I have to tell you now because for six months I tortured myself wondering why you would flirt with me so much when you were hammered and then act like nothing happened the next day. There were so many times I almost told you how I felt but I didn’t and now I am because even if it ruins our friendship you need to know that somebody... that I wanted to be that person for you. I still do.”
Your heart is like an unmoored zeppelin in your chest, bumping against your esophagus and threatening to either burst or jump out of your mouth. You take your chances, whispering so quietly it’s almost inaudible.
“You... you like me?”
“Yes,” Spencer sighs. “I have liked you for a very long time. And I’m sorry—”
Whatever ridiculous thing he was going to apologize for, you don’t give him the chance. Instead you launch yourself at him, capturing his lips in a kiss that feels so much better than it’d ever been in your fantasies because it’s real. You hear his sharp intake of breath, but it only takes a second for him to respond, cradling your face in his hands like you’re the entire world. For a moment, time bends. Years of longing, of buried dreams crash into the present in a brilliant, dazzling explosion.
And then, as quickly as it started, he pulls away. The absence of his touch is like a vacuum, so much worse now that you know exactly how it feels to have his lips on yours, even if it was only for a few seconds. How the hell did you live like that for so long? How are you supposed to live like that ever again?
“You’re not thinking clearly,” he breathes, tilting his head back toward the ceiling like he’s barely holding onto his self control. “You just want someone to comfort you, I’m not going to take advantage of you when you’re in an emotionally vulnerable state and confided in me which is manufacturing a false sense of attachment—”
You grab his wrists, which still graze your jaw.
“Spencer, stop intellectualizing for thirty seconds. I promise you I am thinking clearly.”
“You said you used to like me, past tense—”
“Yeah, I did. Do you believe every single murderer who says he didn’t do it?”
“No, but—”
“Have you ever heard the phrase; a drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts?”
“Of course I have.”
“Then what more could you possibly need to be convinced that I really like you? I already kissed you! What is stopping you?”
Another deep breath is taken by him that seems to suck all the air out of the quiet room. Briefly, you wonder if you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake. If you really do like him so much more than he could ever like you.
Until he looks back down, eyes so golden-brown in the dim light, so kind and full of affectionate concern as he carefully assesses every square centimeter of your face, looking for... well, you’re not exactly sure what. It’s like he’s extracting every thought from your head, turning them over like sun-warmed stones until he finds what he’s looking for. He smooths his hands over your hair, brushing strands away from your teary face. Finally, after what feels like an eternity of holding your breath, he speaks.
“I just want you to believe what I believe about you. But I don’t want you to have to rely on me or anyone else for your own self-worth.”
“Well, don’t you think very highly of yourself,” you tease with a sniffle. He laughs—it's quiet, but his smile is so bright without even trying that suddenly you can’t remember why you’ve ever been sad. The small miracle of his laughter makes you feel so light, and you realize it has nothing to do with the way he makes you feel about yourself. It has everything to do with who he is.
Once the giggles die down, you tentatively mirror his hold on your face.
“Spencer, I don’t like you because you like me. I’ve liked you for an embarrassingly long time. I liked you enough that I gave myself a severe hangover at least once a week for three months just so I could have an excuse to flirt shamelessly with you.”
A half-sad smile pulls at the corner of his mouth, and he gently swipes under your eyes.
“You never had to do that. I would have welcomed your sober brazen flirting with open arms.”
“Well... do you believe me?” you plead. His amber eyes shine.
“I do.”
“Will you kiss me?”
“If that’s what you want.”
You nod, rising on your toes to meet him halfway.
When your lips meet again, it is sweet, and honest, and slow, and deep. Still, there is no desperation--no race to an imagined finish line, no clash of teeth and pawing hands. It is a kiss for the sake of it—as if it were the greatest intimacy. Not a precursor to sharing a bed, but something bigger than that in and of its own. Something just as worthy and important. For the first time, you think you’re beginning to understand romance. And while you wouldn’t mind if things did escalate, you also know that Spencer knows that’s not what matters right now. Because he actually understands you—he actually cares. He will wait until you understand that you mean so much more than that to him.
To that end, he pulls away, gently supplanting his absence with a kiss to the corner of your mouth.
“It would be polite of me to offer you a ride home, wouldn’t it?” he whispers, like it’s the last thing he wants to do. You bite the inside of your cheek, coming up with reasons not to go. One ridiculous one arises from the depths of your memory that you know he won’t be able to say no to.
“Or... I could stay here, and we could watch one of those nerdy foreign films you’re always talking about?”
A slow, perfect, high-watt smile blossoms on his face, and you know you’ve said exactly the right thing.
“Nerdy? Oh, my darling girl... Soviet-era filmography is far from nerdy. небесная машина will completely defy what you thought you knew about the life of an average Russian villager in the 1950’s.”
“Oh, good. Because I’ve really been meaning to change the way I think about the average 1950’s Russian villager,” you smile, already closing in to kiss him again.
------------------------------------------
epilogue
Three hours later, you’re crying because the life of the average Russian villager in the 1950’s was so much worse than you’d previously thought.
“It was good, right?” Spencer asks as the credits roll over a bleak snowy sepia landscape, leaning back to get a better look at you. You sit up from where you’d been leaning against him, furiously wiping your eyes.
“It was terrible! Why didn’t you tell me that everyone except the kid dies in the end?!”
“Because that’s the whole point of the movie!” he laughs, pulling you back into him. “I’m sorry. I probably should have explained how depressing this entire era of film was outside of the US.”
“And also how long the movies were. I was not prepared for how many five minute long clips of empty fields there were going to be.”
“You’re right,” he ammends, wrapping his arms around you in a way that gives you butterflies and makes you sleepy at the same time. “Next time we can watch whatever you want to watch.”
Time passes like that—you in his arms, watching weak light slowly flood the room with half-lidded eyes and listening to the sounds of the city waking up from the street below, underscoring the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Thoughts float by like leaves on the ever-flowing current of your mind, and you’re happy to let them pass until one in particular catches your attention.
“Spencer?”
He hums, like he’d been deep in his own proverbial river of thought.
“What does pulchritude mean?”
It takes him a split second to remember the bit of conversation from earlier to which you are referring, but when he does, he chuckles, running his hand over your messy hair.
“Don’t worry about it.”
And so you let it float away.
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you
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TW: Irrational jealousy
"Here. You left this at my apartment"
Stealing your gaze from the book, you look at your boyfriend who's holding a wine red lacy bra in his hands, stretching it toward you. Unlike his usual attitude, GOJO doesn't look much lively at the moment. In fact, he looks somewhat... meticulous, like he's operating a very dangerous experience and is about to witness the outcome of his efforts.
Having your eyebrows knotted together, you wordlessly take the bra in your hands, the base of your fingers gently but painfully rubbing against the soft fabric. Gojo tries his best not to let his smirk break out when you give him a quizzical look and squeeze the lingerie in your hands.
"This isn't mine"
There it is. Victory. The awaitened result of his brilliant plan to give you a taste of your medicine.
Gojo cups his mouth while expanding his fingers to give you a better look of his fake gasp through the gap between them, humming abruptly. He carefully takes a second look at the bra, then begins to mutter in a not so low voice.
"Ah— well, this is awkward" He looks at your bewildered expression from the corner of his eye and continues. "I didn't want you to find out. Not this way"
The logic behind this clever act was easy to understand. You chose to spend your day offs with your stupid, lame old friend from college instead of your incredible, handsome, mind blowingly gorgeous boyfriend, and this is your punishment. Your reasoning was too dumb and made up. Huh, how could you even look him in the eye and say you're doing this because he's just gotten back from Austria and needs you to show him around town and introduce him to your colleagues? You should've just shoved a dagger in his aching heart and told him that you dont love him anymore. So yes, you deserve this; and as they all say, revenge is a dish best served cold.
"But you see, I'm not the only one to blame in this. You are too. You were the one who left me in the dark hanging to go on a romantic getaway with that good for nothing punk"
"Satoru—"
"Let me finish. I know that it was just for three days and you did nothing but work together, but I'm a man y/n! A proud, strong grown man who has his own needs"
"Satoru—"
"I'm not an animal y/n, but how do you expect me to close my eyes and pretend like nothing's wrong? Because it is, and since I'm also an honest man, I couldn't bare with the feeling of getting abandoned by my own woman. You and I were supposed to rule the world, but you never wanted what we were—"
"Satoru!!"
Gojo grits his teeth and looks at you with slight irritation, wondering what's so important that has to interrupt his dramatic show; but his liveliness and acting power vanishes in a glance when his eyes land on the part of the bra you're pointing at while holding it up.
"There's a price tag on this"
Oh.
The small, round label is linked to the inside of the bra, which is probably why Gojo had forgotten to remove it. Yes, it was totally that; not because he was too focused on his dialogues that he forgot to even check the bra out.
Gojo stares at your jumped up eyebrows and annoyed expression, flashing you one of his most charming smiles; Only this time he can't make it as shameless as it usually is.
"Eh, I guess this shows how much I actually love you and care about you"
"You bought this two sizes bigger than mine you asshole"
"My bad, I kinda got carried away"
#jjk x reader#jjk imagines#jjk scenarios#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk fluff#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo x reader#gojo imagines#gojo scenarios#gojo fluff#gojo satoru x reader#saturo gojo x reader#ashthemadwriter
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