#directed at trans people making content for themselves?

[yuridovewing]

i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.

what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.

in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?

obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)

[averagewriter-inthedark]

It’s Been A Long, Long Time 🥀 P.2 | Fallout AU

Masterlists | Part 1

Characters & Pairings: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x super soldier!reader (eventual romance), reader x male!oc (past romance), reader x Chester Phillips (past romance), Lucy Maclean (platonic)

Content warnings: Fallout x Marvel AU, profanity, major angst, fighting mentions of death, violence, war, age gap (reader is physically in her 40s, Cooper in his 50s, but they are both hundreds of years old), detailed description of a panic attack, cannon divergence, suggestive themes, strangers/enemies-to-friends-to-lovers | female!reader (she/her) | wc: 6.7k

Premise: Having stumbled into an abandoned bunker that belonged to an agency dating back to the Second World War, Cooper and Lucy find themselves face-to-face with a woman of historical significance after accidently defrosting her cryogenic state. And when the horrifying truth is revealed, Cooper and Lucy rely on their expertise to combat a super soldier from killing them before the day is over.

Note: yeah this was intense and just full of angst I'm sorry, I promise in the next one there will be fluff!

-----------------------------------------

“Who the hell are you people?”

What exactly does one do when faced with a 345-year-old super soldier from World War II awakens from their frozen slumber. Face the truth? Or make a run for it? Honestly the pair were not sure. 

It was as if they were in the arctic circle with how the temperature dropped to below zero at that very moment. The silence so thick a knife could cut through. Suffocating to the point Lucy swallowed her saliva quite loudly just to break it. Her stance frozen under the now conscious super soldier’s gaze. A scrutinizing one enough to have even the strongest men running for the hills. 

Cooper had yet to rise from the chair, keeping a steady hand over his pistol while his back remained towards their guest. Although he felt her eyes on the back of his head, penetrating his skull. 

“Do not make me ask again,” Behind her strong Trans-Atlantic accent--sounding the exact same as it did on the tapes--Y/n’s tone was a mix of fear and anger. Lucy felt the chills run down her spine. “Who. Are. You?”

Lucy peered to Cooper, whose expression read, ‘answer her’. Clearing her throat, Lucy attempted to introduce herself but it all came out as a stutter. “Uhh-um, hello!” she winced, noticing Y/n take a more defensive stance, eyeing her appearance. “My name is Lucy--Lucy MacLean. And this is my….associate, Cooper Howard,” her hand lifted up, gesturing to Cooper who gave her an annoyed look, Y/n watching each move intently. She had yet to see the cowboy’s face. “We’re so sorry for waking you up! We came across this bunker and--.”

“MacLean,” Cooper warned, shutting Lucy up. The girl put her hand down and bit her lip, “Um, we are….we--.” This time Y/n cut her off.

“Where’s Peggy?” Her eyes searched the room, face paling as it hit her where she was. “And Chester? Howard….I need--I need to find them. I need to warn them!” She made a move to run and that’s when Cooper rose from his chair, pistol in hand and spinning to face the super soldier for the first time. 

It was like Y/n had stepped out of the TV. Donned in her black suit, the image of an eagle splayed across her chest. Shiny plates of metal on her arms that reflected light. Tactical boots and artillery belt, though she lacked any weapons. Whoever placed her in the pod must’ve stripped her of any means to defend herself if she woke. 

Like she’d really need a gun or knife. Her best weapon was the serum coursing through her veins. 

And unfortunately, Cooper was about to experience that.

The second their eyes met Y/n’s reaction was full of horror. But not for the reason Cooper believed, no. Poor Cooper was being mistaken for an old enemy, which unlucky for him, he resembled quite closely. Except he lacked the color red.

In a flash the desk was lifted off the ground, flinging in Cooper’s direction causing him to duck and cover while it met the chair. Lucy shrieked, hand cupping her mouth as the loud sound echoed off the walls. Y/n made a break for it then, running while Cooper hauled himself up to follow.

“Cooper, wait--!” 

As he entered the long and dim hallway Cooper raced toward the end where the main lobby was. He hadn’t heard the elevator shaft open, nor the echoing sound of it ascending to the surface, prompting the cowboy to draw his pistol. Coming to a halt, Cooper shifted his approach by deciding to slowly inch his way to the lobby. Believing Y/n lying in wait for another attack. So each time he got to a room Cooper staked it out. Clearing it before moving to the next. 

Lucy struggled to keep her cool, breathing heavily as she trailed closely behind Cooper. Aiming her tranquilizer gun in hopes of immobilizing Y/n but worried it’d do nothing like it did the Ghoul. Maybe it’ll at least slow her down. Giving them the chance to explain so she won’t kill them. 

As each room cleared Cooper’s grip tightened. Betting Y/n was waiting for him in the lobby. And right he was. 

The second his body was in view, Y/n shot out from the side giving no time for Cooper to react. Gun kicked from his hand, Cooper grunted as he was pushed into the wall, a crack in the drywall from the impact. Shoving Y/n off rather harshly, she stumbled back but recovered in time to dodge Cooper’s fist. Shooting her hand out to grab and redirect his arm, maneuvering her body behind his to kick the back of his knees and bring him to the floor. 

‘Damn that super soldier serum was no joke,’ Coop couldn’t help but think. Arm raising to dodge another attack before extending his foot to kick Y/n in the gut. 

“Please, if we can just explain!” Lucy shouted, pointing her gun frantically to get a clear shot, but struggled with how fast they were moving. Not wanting to accidentally hit Cooper and waste the drugs. “We only want to help you!”

They fought for what felt like hours but really it was less than five minutes. The adrenaline high, both soldiers feeding off each other. Cooper’s hat flying off, Y/n’s styled hair losing its curl. Creating a wild mane around her shoulders. Lucy was almost mesmerized. Their moves are sharp and quick, inflicting damage on the other and not holding back. Y/n was fast, giving Cooper no time to breathe as she laid punch after punch and kicks. Cooper was more robust, attempting to slow her down by constantly throwing her into a wall or onto furniture. They were in a deadly dance, two former soldiers 

Lucy’s jaw dropped as Cooper was brought to the floor when Y/n attacked him from behind, hooking her legs over his head and switching her upper body from under his right side to his left side in which she unhooked her legs and flipped him onto his back. So fast it competed with the speed of light. “Holy moly!” 

“Fuck,” Cooper coughed, wide-eyed as he looked up to Y/n barely breaking a sweat. A chill down his spine by the fury behind her gaze. He recognized it, recalling the time he fought the Reds in Alaska. She no longer was a woman in front of him, but a soldier. 

He braced himself for her next attack, but before she could unleash it the soldier let out an ‘ah!’, glancing over to find a tranq lodged into her shoulder blade. 

“Clever girl,” Y/n yanked it out, but the damage was done. The vial emptied the drug into her bloodstream, already beginning to take effect. Y/n stumbled, leaning onto the wall closest to her for support. “Hate to tell you though, that won’t knock me out.” her words slurred, making her appear in a drunken state. 

Cooper sat up, catching his breath as he eyed her, “But it’ll sure as hell slow ya down.” Grunting, he brought himself to his knees, using the broken desk to lift the rest of his body up. He was sore, and in desperate need of a drink. Limping to recover his hat and gun, keeping the weapon in his hand. Although he knew he wouldn’t need to use it. Y/n was incapacitated, wobbling with each step and having to hold onto the wall or filing cabinet to keep steady.

“You….” she slurred, eyes dazy as she squinted at Cooper. “The Red….Skull.” 

“I beg yer’ pardon?” he exhaled, staring back with confusion. Did she just call him the Red Skull? He picked at his brain for any recollection of that name. Siphoning through his days in basic and the countless files they racked through. “I have no idea who you’re talkin’ bout.”

“I do!” Lucy shouted, stepping closer to the two who were now several feet apart instead of lollygagging by the entrance of the hall. “I saw the file earlier--the Red Skull, you say?” Y/n nodded, willing herself to find the strength and hope the serum was close to wearing off the drug. “The Red Skull was the leader of Hydra. Who you fought against in the war, correct.” Again she nodded and Lucy realized what the soldier was likely thinking. Letting out a gasp as she raced to where she had discarded the file and opened it to reveal the picture of the man in question. 

Removing it from the paper clip, Lucy held it up, “This man,” she pointed with her free hand first, then to Cooper, “this is who you think he is.” Based on the photo, Lucy understood why the soldier mistook the man as the one she once spent years fighting. The most striking detail being they both had withered skin and lacked a nose. Lucy remembered in her history books the Red Skull got his name due to his blood red complexion. A result of injecting himself with the first attempt at the super soldier serum, unaware of what effects it would have.

But the Red Skull vanished the same day as Steve Rogers. No records indicating where he went. Decades without any new leads and so Shield labeled him to be dead or in hiding. 

The way Y/n’s eyes darted from the photo to Cooper confirmed Lucy’s suspicions. Along with how her face shifted to disdain and then to confusion. Like she too was starting to question her judgment. 

Lucy passed the photo to Cooper, then lifted her hand to Y/n to show she meant no harm. “He’s not the Red Skull,” her voice was gentle, like when one speaks to a child, but also guarded. “I swear to you, Dr. Andrews, this man is not who you think he is. Yes, they look alike--which is an unfortunate coincidence,” Lucy nervously chuckled, aware of Cooper’s glare, “but I can assure you he is not him.”

Y/n didn’t look convinced. “If he’s not the Red Skull, then why--why does he look like him? What is he?” 

Lucy shifted her stance, scratching the back of her neck and giving Cooper an apologetic look. “He’s what you would call a ghoul.”

“A ghoul,” the word was foreign to the soldier, prompting her to ask, “What the hell is a ghoul.” This time Cooper was the one to answer. 

“I’m your future, Birdie,” the nickname was obviously in reference to her superhero alias, the Eagle. “Once you track that wasteland full of radiation you know so much about, you’ll be just like me if you give it time.” 

Y/n’s blood froze, a horrible feeling igniting in her stomach, “What are you talking about?” Wasteland? Radiation? Immediately her mind went to what America was dealing with their former ally turned opponent. 

The Arms Race, did it happen? How much did she miss? Oh God, her family…..

Lucy’s face fell, “Ma’am, there’s something you need to know--.” 

“Vaultie….”

“You’re the one who said something!” she pointed out, causing him to roll his eyes. “We need to tell her, Cooper, it’s the right thing to do!” she defended, pleading with him as she gestured to Y/n’s state. “We can’t just leave her here, and if she goes to the surface she’ll be clueless.”

“It’s not our problem, MacLean,” his words were sharp. Holstering the pistol before adjusting his duster, ignoring Lucy’s appalled expression. “Better we leave her here and figure it out for herself. Not like she can help us with where wer’ goin’.” 

Scoffing, Lucy narrowed her eyes. Disgusted with his apathy and lack of consideration for Y/n’s situation. “Put yourself in her shoes, Cooper. Also in case you forgot, we woke her up. We can at least give her the respect she deserves, by telling her what happened.” Before he could reply, Y/n beat him to it. 

“What do you…you mean--what happened?” her tone was still jumbled, jaw tightened and gripping the edge of the desk like her life depended on it. After what Cooper said and Lucy’s implication, Y/n feared the worst. She was slowly coming to, blurred vision starting to clear. “Where’s Chester…take me to him, now!” 

Cooper glanced at Lucy, begging him with her eyes, and he let out a gumbled sigh. Pushing a chair, not destroyed in their tossle, in Y/n’s direction, “Better for ya to take a seat, Birdie.” A moment passed, Y/n eyeing the chair before yanking it back and falling into it. 

“Start talking. I won’t ask a second time. Whatever drug you stunned me with won’t last long and I demand to know what’s going on.”

Clicking his tongue against his teeth, Cooper turned to Lucy, “Well, valutie, you wanna do the honors. Or have me rip the band-aid off--and It won’t be gentle I can tell ya that.” 

Biting her lip, Lucy felt the heat rise to her cheeks as she gathered her words. “Ma’am, Dr. Andrews,” she corrected, nodding her head in respect. “What is the last thing you remember?” Upon Cooper’s reaction to the question, Lucy panned him a look reading, ‘Trust me.’

Y/n’s eyebrows narrowed, blinking twice before answering, “I was in the computer room. Trying to find evidence that Zola--.” She cut herself off, swallowing. Remembering these were strangers and were working for God knows who. “I won’t say another word until I know who exactly you two are. Or you tell me where Peggy and Chester are!!”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible,” Cooper tipped his hat up, ignoring Lucy’s warning.

“Cooper, please--.”

“Look, there’s no easy way of sayin’ it and frankly we don’t got the fuckin’ time to waste. So I’ll keep it simple by asking you this instead; What year do you think it is, Doctor?”

“1951,” there was no hesitation. Spoken with confidence. 

Lucy let out a choked sound, and Cooper rubbed his jaw. Preparing himself to give the harsh truth, and worried of what outcome laid ahead. Meanwhile Y/n took in their reactions, causing anxiety to rise as she began to feel the air shift. Something wasn’t right, her intuition screamed at her. 

“What?” she demanded. “How long--how long was I out?”

Cooper dropped his head, unable to meet her eyes, “Y/n, I hate to be the bearer of bad news,” bad was putting it lightly, “but you’ve been asleep for 345 years.”

The only noise that followed the revelation was Y/n’s sharp inhale. Like all the air had been sucked out of her, and she was now drowning by the way her lungs tightened. Throat closing, head spinning as it processed what Cooper said. 

345 years…. 

A piercing sound filled her ears, while any other noise turned muffled. “What?” Voice cracking, Y/n shook her head in denial. Refusing to accept it. “No. No, you’re lying to me. You--you’re Hydra and trying to manipulate me.” 

“We’re not Hydra, Y/n,” Cooper’s gentle tone shocked even him. But he couldn’t help it for he felt sorry for the woman. Not wanting to imagine what was running through her head. 

Her denial turned to anger, “I don’t believe you! It can’t be--I couldn’t have been asleep for three centuries,” her voice cracked again, the emotion billing up in her throat. “That is not possible!” She stood up hastily, but the drugs had yet to wear off and so she lost her balance, the room spinning and fell back into the chair with a grunt. 

Lucy made a move to help her but was stopped by Cooper. Pushing her to the side while he approached Y/n, kneeling so he was level. “I know this is hard, and I reckon you gonna be angry for God knows how long,” he leaned closer to her, noting how white her knuckles were from gripping the armrest. 

“Stop it--.”

“But it’s the cold, hard truth.”

“I don’t want to hear it!” 

“It’s 2296!” He stunned her into silence, another choked gasp leaving her. Y/n’s mouth agape, staring at him with devastation, and Cooper let out a tired sigh. “Whoever put ya in that pod is long gone. The people you’re asking for,” he referred to Peggy, Howard, and Chester, “ther’ long gone too. Everyone you know has been dead for centuries, Y/n,” a pained whimper escaped, the soldier starting to break. Cooper went on, voice lowering, “You’ve awoken to a whole new world, Doc. One you ain’t gonna fuckin’ like at all, but it’s ya new reality. 1951,” he paused before giving the final blow, “was a lifetime ago.” 

Y/n’s bottom lip quivered, water filling her vision as she fought to keep the tears at bay while the words sank in. She’d always been good at reading people. Picking up body language and cues to tell when one’s lying. But mostly, she could tell in their eyes. For the eyes were the window into one’s soul. 

And right now, the little voice in the back of her head knew he was telling the truth. Still, she shook her head and held on to the small ounce of hope. Her heart barely held on by a thread. “No,” her tone was now pleading, and it actually made Cooper’s heart break just a bit. Seeing the strong woman who fought against Nazis and stood before politicians reduced to a fragile state. “I don’t--I need proof.” Actually having proof would confirm her worst fear, but what good was it to remain in denial. “Prove to me what you say is true!”

Cooper peered up at Lucy, who appeared apprehensive, likely knowing what he was about to suggest. He only gave her a stern look, “You know it’s the only option.”

“But--.”

“There’s nothin’ in this Goddamn bunker that can help prove to our new friend here--,” That was a far reach to call Y/n a friend. She’ll view them as anything but once they take her outside. “That the last 350 years have come and gone.” Y/n looked like she wanted to kill him, not liking the way he spoke of her unfortunate fate. “We take her to the surface, so she can see for herself.” 

Cooper stood up straight, extending his hand to the soldier who eyed it wearily before accepting it, letting him pull off the chair. She maintained her balance this time, the room not spinning as much but senses still disoriented. Only this time it wasn’t the drugs but the overwhelming anxiety consuming her. She let him lead her to the elevator shaft, opening the gate and stepping in. Y/n second and Lucy third. 

The journey up Y/n wanted to vomit, hands beginning to shake. Mind going a million miles per second. Unable to think of a single thing, so she distracted herself from the inevitable by assessing Lucy’s attire. 

“What’s with the suit?”

“Huh?” Lucy turned with surprise. 

Y/n gave her a once over, taking in the stained blue and yellow suit that appeared like it was made of rubber or leather. Kind of like her own tactical suit. “Your suit? What’s the meaning of it?”

Lucy’s mouth formed in an ‘o’ shape, “Oh! Uh, it’s my vault suit. We were obligated to wear them in the vaults--or fallout shelters if you wanna be technical.” 

“Fallout shelters,” Y/n wondered aloud. “I don’t understand.” 

“The um,” Lucy awkwardly cleared her throat, not sure how to say the next speck of reality Y/n had to face. She looked to Cooper for help but his attention was on the gate. She gulped, “The vaults are underground shelters, built to withstand a nuclear attack on the surface. When the bombs dropped those who had a place in the vaults continued life underground, while those on the surface were left for themselves.”

Once again, the world around her stilled. 

“The bombs?” Y/n paled, stomach churning once more. Before she could ask further, the elevator shook as it reached the top. Y/n’s hand reached for Cooper’s shoulder to steady herself, quickly removing it once she did. Not meeting his gaze when she caught him staring at her from her peripheral. 

Hand on the latch, Cooper glanced over his shoulder at Y/n, his expression dour, “Now, before I open this, I need yer’ word you ain’t gonna do anything rash. ‘Cause if ya do,” he pulled his duster aside to reveal his pistol, “I won’t fuckin’ hesitate this time. Understood?”

She held back the urge to say something cutting. Not one to take orders from a stranger, but he had the advantage. Plus Y/n was already fighting back a panic attack, dread rising from her stomach to her chest until it lodged in her throat. Heartbeat picking up. 

“I-I won’t,” she promised, face tightening to the point it hurt. “You have my word.”

Exhaling, Cooper bidded Lucy a warning look until he finally yanked the gate wide open. Sunlight filled the space, the bright light causing Y/n to snap her eyes shut. Raising a hand, she slowly stepped forward, feeling Cooper reach for her forearm to guide her off the shaft. Sand crunched beneath her boots. Sending Y/n’s heart into racing mode as she began to open her eyes, shielding them with her hand until they got used to the blinding light. 

When her vision focused, a wretched sound escaped her mouth, hand falling to cover it as she took in the sight before her. Instead of paved roads she was met with dry, sandy hills. Remnants of buildings she once worked. Destroyed and reduced to ash. Only their iron skeletons remained. Billboards she didn’t recognize, one reading Nuka-Cola and another prompting a company called Vault-Tec. That must’ve been linked to what Lucy was talking about. 

Y/n’s hands went to her stomach, fighting to stay upright as she let out choked breaths. “Oh--Oh God,” she croaked, the truth finally hitting her. She hadn’t accepted it in the bunker, but seeing it firsthand brought a whole new level of anguish Y/n hadn’t experienced since her husband died. Even when Steve got lost in the Atlantic Y/n grieved, but not to the point she felt like she’d actually die. 

This, however, had the potential to kill her. 

Pins and needles pricked her hands, and sweat beaded on her hairline. Y/n’s throat tightening, chest pounding so hard it hurt. Then her whole body began to shake. The churning in her stomach finally snapping, migrating up until it released causing Y/n to hunch forward. Lucy grimaced from the side watching Y/n puke her guts out. Meanwhile Cooper only kept his head down, hands perched on his hips as he listened to the sounds Y/n’s emitted slowly turn into full blown sobs. 

Lucy felt her own tears form, the scene too emotional to bear. Y/n sounded like she was being tortured. Her cries so loud they echoed against the silent wasteland. “No,” she wailed, “No, no, no!!” Knees falling to the sand, Y/n curled herself into the sand. Not caring that it got in her face and hair. Her sobs were pretty much screams of agony, the tears flowing like waterfalls down her cheeks. 

“My babies,” Cooper heard, resulting in him glancing up at the sky, willing himself to hold it together. If there was one thing the cowboy could relate to Y/n now more than ever, was the feeling of a parent losing their child. Children, in her case. “No, my babies,” she broke again, as another excruciating scream tore through her. At that point Lucy couldn’t even contain her own emotion. Tears leaking from her eyes she furiously wiped away, wincing as Y/n screams became choking sounds, head lifting to the sky.

They were gone. Her children were dead, and had been for centuries. Beatrice, Henry, and Charlene. Little Charley wasn’t even two. Henry twelve and Beatrice 16. They’d already lost one parent in the war. And not even ten years later they’d lose the other. With no knowledge of what happened to her. 

Y/n’s mind went to the worst possible thought. That her children believed she abandoned them. Just thinking it sent her into another episode of despair. Who knows what Zola told them. She thought of Chester, Peggy, and Howard. The three people she trusted most in life, behind her husband and Steve. Y/n had to believe they would not rest until they found her. Chester especially. After all they shared a daughter, who was his world. As a man of honor and for the sake of Charley, he would never give up on Y/n. Howard was her cousin, and Peggy her best friend. They would know something was suspicious about her disappearance. Considering it happened not long after the Congressional hearing. 

But still, the nightmare plagued her. Ripping apart her soul until there was nothing left. The numbness got stronger and Y/n began to hyperventilate. Throat opening and closing to the point she struggled to breathe. “I-I can’t--,” she stuttered, hand going to her chest, where she felt her heart begging to explode, “breathe. I can’t-can’t breathe.” Gasping, Y/n felt her eyes bulging, neck veins protruding. 

Cooper became concerned, hearing the woman choke on nothing but air and found himself moving toward her. “Hey now,” he crouched, gently placing his hands on her shoulder only to jump back as she began to thrash. Then it hit him what was happening, “Y/n, you’re having a panic attack. Ya need to breathe, woman, breathe.” She was fighting against his hold, which turned to him wrapping his arms around her, pressing her back against his chest as he fell knees first into the sand. Part of him thought she was gonna die right there. “Dammit, Y/n, ya gonna run yaself to a heart attack. Breathe! Dammit!” He tightened his hold, shaking her rather harshly but it was just what she needed to stop fighting him. “Ther’ we go,” he eased, leaning back on his knees to semi-pull her into his lap. 

It took a good minute, but Y/n soon felt the tremors cease. Heart still pounding but the ringing in her ears stopped. Clutching onto his arms, Y/n’s shoulders shook as the tears returned. Muffling the sound of her sobs by tucking her face into the crook of her elbow. Falling to defeat for the first time in her life.

“My kids are dead,” she broke, shaking her head as her voice became barely a whisper. “My babies are dead.” Cooper stayed silent, allowing the woman to cry her heart out. For she was feeling the worst pain imaginable for a parent. Giving her the comfort he desperately needed when he lost Janey.

For Y/n, she mourned not only her children and the people she loved, but the life taken from her. When Zola placed her in that pod he froze not only her body but her future as well. 345 years, gone in the blink of an eye. Falling asleep at the beginning of the 5th decade of the 20th century. Waking near the end of the 9th in the 23rd. 

The America she left behind was history. Now, the soldier had to face the greatest battlefield known to man. 

The Wasteland. 

In the first two weeks of Y/n’s travels with the bounty hunter and former vault dweller, she learned the dark truth behind the Great War as they dubbed it. After they raided the Shield bunker once Y/n managed to calm down, she led them to a hidden vault within an office wall where she knew weapons and emergency supplies were kept. Using her Shield ID code, which by the grace of God somehow worked. 

Cooper about had a field day. Equipping himself with ammunition and guns. Lucy took claim to whatever she could fill her pack with and Y/n stocked up her suit. Knives, guns, magazines. She found a backpack and packed it to the brim. When she finished she was no longer Dr. Y/n Andrews.

She was the Eagle. 

When neither of her new companions were looking, Y/n slipped into Zola’s office and stole the files on her and her friends. On her way out she stopped by the tv, noticing the box of video tapes beside it. Picking one up, her heart dropped at the label ‘House Committee Hearing ‘50.’ Squeezing her eyes shut, Y/n held herself together. And as the sound of spurs filled her ears, indicating Cooper entered the room, Y/n let out a stained sigh, “I take it you two watched these?”

He didn’t lie to her, “Yeah. We got about six in…including the one yer holdin’.” She dropped it back into the box, not saying another word as she pushed past Cooper to find Lucy. Once they were all ready, they headed back to the surface and set forth to their next target. 

Then came the history lesson when Y/n asked where they were going. The rise of Vault-Tec, the bombs dropping, and how both Lucy’s father and Cooper’s ex-wife were part of it. Y/n looked at Cooper aghast when that detail was revealed, wondering how the hell the math added up. Thankfully they explained, although Cooper was more vague with his description much to her annoyance. 

Lucy was the talker of the two. Happy to answer Y/n’s questions and provide clarification. As she relayed the events of the Great War and Vault-Tec’s corrupt ambitions, Y/n had to contain her reaction. Wanting to scream until her voice gave out. Shoot something until she ran out of bullets. 

How could this happen? How could a company grow so powerful it managed to overtake the government. Gaining enough power to unleash a nuclear event.

So when they sat by the fire and Lucy gained the courage to ask, “What was it like?” Y/n felt that box opening. Confronting the past which was centuries worth of history but had occurred only recently for her. 

“You mean the war? Or life in general?” She answered with her own question, noticing the way Cooper shifted, his eyes peering from beneath his hat. 

“Everything.”

Y/n glanced at Lucy from the side, not moving her body, “I thought you both read my file. And watched the tapes I recorded.”

“We did,” Lucy admitted, offering a nervous smile, “But reading about history is vastly different than when you hear it first hand from someone who lived through it. When I taught the kids in my vault they always preferred watching the holotapes rather than the books that’d been preserved. And so much from the 20th century had been lost….”  Pausing at Cooper’s warning look, Lucy began to ramble, “I-I mean I only ask if you’re comfortable with talking about it. Sorry I should’ve been more considerate--I know it’s a sensitive topic with-- I-I mean you just woke up not even two weeks ago to find 345 years have passed--and America is not how you left it. Oh God I’m being really insensitive--I am so sorry,” Lucy’s mouth snaps as the woman cuts her off with a tired sigh. 

“You don’t have to apologize for being curious, Lucy,” Y/n ran her hands through her hair, dropping her head for a moment before cranking it. “But I should warn you if someone hasn’t yet, curiosity can be a dangerous thing.” The wastelanders knew exactly what she referred to. 

Her curiosity ended with her frozen in a pod for 345 years. 

Removing a cigarette from her tin holder, Y/n used the flames of the fire to light it, taking a deep drag before speaking. “Lucy, you have to understand, I was born at a time when women didn’t even have the right to vote. And once we did there was still a lot of work to be done to even the playing field. I worked hard to secure my education, and it was not without difficulty--especially when the support from family and the system was limited.”

Y/n went on about her life. About what inspired her to study radiation physics. How she met her husband, and her research with Project Rebirth. The SSR, and the war. She kept out some details, obviously, especially the more personal ones about her family. Both were aware she wasn’t ready to speak of her children. Or whatever relationship she had with her colleague, Chester Phillips. 

When she finished Lucy asked the number one question, “How’d you become a super soldier?” Cooper was also interested in the answer, sitting up against his log. Lucy followed it with, “In the tape we watched, you told Congress all the serum was destroyed.” 

Y/n stared deeply into the fire, letting the silence pass as the memory resurfaced. “After the first year we were at a disadvantage. I….before the demonstration Erskine left me a package. He warned me of his concerns that morning that something might happen. He told me to hide it, and that it was only to be opened as a last resort.” Her shoulders shrugged, then confirmed their suspicions, “I knew right then and there a vial of the serum was in the package. And I knew if the government found out, there’d be a bidding war for control. Then when the Hydra spy killed Erskine, I made sure to do everything to prevent them from getting the serum.”

Lucy leaned forward, “That night you told Congress you guys were talking strategy…”

“Was the night we used the serum on me,” Y/n finished the sentence. A sad smile formed on her lips. “We had to. It was our last resort. We went back and forth on who should take it and in the end they all voted I was the best choice. My role in creating it, my expertise in the field. I was already involved in operations with Steve,” Y/n drawled on, “They’d already dubbed me the Eagle in the papers after Steve and I crossed into enemy territory to rescue that unit. They saw it fitting.”

Another pause, Y/n lighting another cigarette, “I honestly didn’t want to--I kept thinking of the consequences if word got out. But I trusted our team, and they trusted me. They had faith when I had fear.” Letting the smoke blow out, Y/n finished her monologue with, “Like an eagle learning to fly.”

Lucy was in awe, but felt an immense amount of sympathy for the woman. She admired her strength, her resilience, her drive to fight for what is right. Lucy related to that. 

“Do you regret it?” she softly asked, “taking the serum?” the question hung in the air. Allowing Y/n to really think although she already knew the answer. 

“I don’t regret anything in my life,” she delivered the truth, not meeting the girl’s eyes. “If I did, I wouldn’t be true to myself.” 

“You know,” Cooper drawled after a minute, gaining her attention, “them history books used to call y’all the ‘Greatest Generation’,” dramatic flair in his tone as he said the phrase. “Givin’ all the shit you folks had to go through. The damn depression and wars. Not to mention y’all were the fuckin’ original Arms Race.” His laugh was dry, “Ironic don’t ya think.”

“Well, forgive me if I sound ungrateful,” Y/n chuckled without any humor. The sound is full of sorrow and a lick of resentment, “but I don’t feel great. Nor deserving of such a label. Seeing as how the world ended up this way barely a century after it ended.” 

Cooper scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Well thank God you didn’t have to witness it. Better you were in that fuckin’ pod than watching your precious America get nuked to bits.”

“Cooper!” Lucy scolded, glancing to Y/n to find her completely, and almost frightenedly, stoic. 

Clenching her jaw, Y/n’s anger was becoming more difficult to contain. Going through the five stages of grief daily. Acceptance was on the horizon but she had to navigate the anger and depression first. The denial came and went the day she awoke, and bargaining was useless.  

Taking a sharp inhale, Y/n bit the inside of her cheek, “I was six years old when World War One began, ten when it ended. My daddy was shipped off France and when he returned, he was a different man.” Eyes lined with angry tears, Y/n pinned her gaze on Cooper. He held it, chill running down his spine by the power she radiated. Her voice had an edge, “World War One was supposed to be the war to end all wars. When the Second broke out in ‘39, he and everyone who was fortunate to come home, felt like everything they endured was all for nothing.” She paused, letting the words linger. Lucy’s heart clenched, understanding where Y/n was going by bringing up her father. 

She related to the feeling.

Licking her lips she continued, “So when America entered, and I was recruited, I made a vow to him and to every, single, soldier--living and dead, that what we did would not be in vain. That it wouldn’t be for nothing.” She swallowed, tightening her jaw. “You have no idea what I went through. What I endured. I lost my husband and my best friend,” a tear slipped, rolling down her cheek. “I was the only survivor of the Howling Commandos--do you know what that’s like? To be the only one. I came back home a new person, just like my daddy and every damn soldier who stepped foot on the frontlines. And when I came home….you want to know what I faced?” She didn’t even let him try to answer, but then again how could he answer. 

“I came home to a government that I defended, working to destroy my name and reputation. Who wanted to lock me in a lab to prick and poke for the rest of my life if they discovered the truth because to them, the serum was more valuable than my life. All while raising three young children and preventing a nuclear disaster from happening,” Now the anger had released after two weeks of sizzling. Erupting like a volcano. Y/n didn’t hold back, and the two understood, not moving to interrupt.

 “You told me you went through the second wave of McCarthyism. Well guess what, I experienced the first. Once Congress was off my back with the serum it didn’t end there. I had to face the man the damn movement is named after. Having to rebuild my reputation all over again because the madman accused me of being a communist! When in reality I was doing everything in my power to deescalate the tensions between America and the Reds. To ensure the generations after were guaranteed peace and a safe future. So yeah,” she spat, the fire in her veins mirroring the one in front of her. “It’s a good thing I was in the pod. Saved me the embarrassment of watching the country I risked everything to get blown to bits, as you say, by a failure of a generation.” 

That last statement cut Cooper deep. Yet, he was silent. Unable to form any defense because deep down he knew there was none. His generation failed. Failed their children and the generations after them. They allowed Vault-Tec to control the narrative. Now they reaped the repercussions. But Y/n wasn’t finished, ending him with a final blow to the chest.

“And as a former soldier yourself, Cooper, don’t you blame yourself even the tiniest bit?” His sharp inhale was enough of an answer, Y/n watching the flicker of emotion pass his eyes. She knew it was harsh, but there was no turning back, even if he now hated her. “Because right now, I can’t even bring myself to think my efforts in the war accomplished anything. To me…..it was all for nothing.”

[mrghostrat]

"He needed an internet connection so he could download an app to draw with, but the whole point of setting the thing up in London was because he knew Crowley understood all of this a whole lot better than he did."

Okayyyyy I just got violent flashbacks to the s2 finale this is evil 😭😭

But in all seriousness, I LOVED the new bnf au chapter, I mean the kiss??? I audibly gasped, it was soooo good

I was wondering if the witch and the witchfinder are a canon couple in the nice and accurate prophecies? Or are they just a very popular fanon ship? Or is it like good omens, where people saw the romantic subtext in the book and where it was made explicitly canon in the show?

I just think all options would be really interesting, given that Crowley and Aziraphale are both middle-aged queer people and the book came out thirty years ago. So they either would have had some representation back then, or they recognised themselves in the story and even though it wasn't canon, maybe those ideas would later explicitly be confirmed by Agnes Nutter nonetheless? Since all these options have really interesting implications for the way they both interacted with the source material, I'm really curious what your thoughts on the matter are.

Thank you so much for all the beautiful things you create for the fandom, both your fics and your art give me life and I'm so grateful for them ❤

omg you have no idea how excited i am about this question 😭 as i've written BNF, i've been quietly fleshing out more about their fictional fandom, and accidentally gotten reeeeally invested and am dying to talk about it 😭😭

i'm actually tempted to make some fanart of the witch & the witchfinder, using michael and david as facecasts to go full meta thphptftf. in b4 i write it as a fuckin book series for real

buttttt i'll put all my N&A thoughts under a cut so i dont ramble too long on your dashes 💛

The Nice and Accurate Prophecy: Agnes Nutter's book series (turned play, turned film, turned tv series); the fandom in my fic Big Name Feelings

the idea of using Agnes Nutter's "Nice and Accurate" book for the in-fic fandom was taken from @tawnyontumblr's fic New Messages (i just thought that would be a fun fanon consistency to follow), but all the details about the story and characters are me.

N&A takes inspiration from Good Omens (as a story, and as a fandom) but isn't intended to be a direct copy of it. the original paperback series is a few books long, and each adaptation of the books are considered good, accurate, canonical content. the tv show (a HBO series) is the most recent, highest quality, and most popular. The Witcher style, high fantasy quality.

agnes is loudly supportive of the lgbt community just like neil/david/michael are. but i imagine that for the series to be so "marketable" over the last 30 years, there isn't an explicit queer relationship between the witch & finder. there are canon queer side characters but the witch & finder are a little more nuanced.

the witch and the witchfinder aid each other through time, working together to defeat the evils in the story (like Aziraphale and Crowley from GO). there's tension between them, but boundless love, and plenty of flirtation, despite the running "we shouldn't, we're meant to be enemies" theme. they would canonically get together at some point in the story, probably towards the end after they've spent some time dancing around each other.

the thing that makes this vague is: the witch reincarnates through the story, almost doctor who style. they're a trans icon, much like how the GO fandom looks at Crowley and all his gender ambiguity.

when they finally tryst with the witchfinder, they're female. it's by pure happenstance that they're female presenting at that stage of the story, but still widely critiqued over the years. the thing that canonises the mlm relationship is that the witch is said to carry their consciousness through each reincarnation— they're not a new person like The Doctor is when he regenerates.

the start of the book series spends more time on "Crowley and Aziraphale's favourite male reincarnation", while the movie and tv show only briefly montages through some of the witch's faces. the mlm side of the fandom most definitely lost their minds over the brief few minutes of screentime that they got of the male witch, and has absolutely gifsetted it to death.

i've done it like this because so much of (every) fandom has always been seeking out representation and filling gaps where the original content lacks. there's something to be said about the solidarity of queer fans creating more queer content for themselves. except, in the case of N&A, they're getting to work from a source material that is genuinely queer supportive, unlike fandoms like SPN and BBC Sherlock that are fighting against the tide of queerbaiting and buried gays.

it also gives aziraphale and crowley a chance to band together in the next chapter when they talk to a dickhead at the party:

i haven't exactly decided what happens with the witchfinder, like if the story takes place over hundreds of years and he keeps reincarnating as the same lookin dude (like how jack whitehall plays both Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery and Newton Pulsifer) or if it's set over one lifetime and the witch just gets killed and regenerates a lot. i do like the idea of there being some "through the ages" shenanigans, and a canonical "modern day" setting like GO has.

but i gotta be careful bc i genuinely can't stop thinking about this fake story that's barely mentioned in my fan fic or i'll end up writing the damn thing myself

[redbuddi]

I think something that a lot of cis allies tend to miss is that not every trans content creator wants to be known as a Trans Content Creator. Not because they lack pride or confidence in themselves, but because it can feel like people are putting an asterisk next to their gender identity.

Some people are open about it, but some people aren't. I've seen a lot of people on those "fav trans creators" lists who have never once said theyre trans in public. I've seen a lot of people commenting on videos by people who have never openly said that they're trans, making comments about the person being trans. I'm just waiting for the day when one of these lists or comments are directed toward someone who isn't even actually trans, cause ppl just assumed.

If they aren't open about it, then maybe there's a reason for that. And it's shitty of you to drag their identity into the spotlight when they haven't done so themselves. It's not your business. Even if you think it's obvious, it still isn't your business or place to bring it out into the open.

[secret-tacos]

my response.

yesterday, i was ''called out'' by @deathmetalyaoi. i put that in quotation marks because OP has stated this is not a callout post, but a ''warning to people in the fandom'' in an effort to ''cut off the diseased tissue at the source'', positioning this as not only something good but necessary, justified, and righteous.

let's unpack that.

my ''ides of march'' event was not a ''most controversial dead dove'' contest, and implying as such is a deliberate misreading of the situation.

i don't actually have a copy of the original post, which has been deleted for over 3 months, so i'll be using this screencap from deathmetalyaoi to illustrate my point--

the explicit intent of the event was to promote and create dark content. i created this as a direct response to events like the christmas and valentines ones -- not because i had an issue with them, but because i wanted to see content that was more accurate to the dark and brutal show that i fell in love with.

deathmetalyaoi later posted a clarification which proved to be a deliberate misreading of the situation, moving me from ''aggressor'' to ''victim'' and misgendering me in the process--

i want to set the record straight -- the original prompt list was my idea and mine alone. this includes murder, gore, stalking, cannibalism, and torture, all of which are concepts that frequently happen within the show that we all claim to have watched.

when i was creating this event, i spoke with basu, who urged me to include nsfw prompt options, and insisted on having incest be one of the options, despite my reluctance. we have spoken about this, she has apologized.

shortly after posting the event advertisement, it was screencapped and posted in a discord that i was also in, where several people made baseless accusations about me (including that i was a pedophile, that i hated survivors, that my event was edgy and baseless and devoid of any merit), leading me to delete the post. several of those people are now liking and reblogging the original callout and using that as an excuse to pat themselves on the back for being ''against harassment'' and ''doing the right thing''.

deathmetalyaoi refuses to speak to me or ask me for clarification -- all they've done is throw around extremely serious accusations and play with people as if they're paper dolls. but, i'll bite. deathmetalyaoi is implying that i -- and the other people named in that post -- are bad people, while they, by contrast, are good.

so, who IS deathmetalyaoi?

deathmetalyaoi is a 22 year old person who claims to have DID -- a serious condition that real people suffer from -- with their primary alter being pickles the drummer from metalocalypse.

they frequently suicide bait, beg for money to escape toxic living situations, and then spend the money on luxury purchases before going back to begging for money.

they also like to go through people's blogs and find old receipts to hold over their heads.

and leave rude comments on fanfiction they dislike -- primarily of the explosiontooth/tickles variety, as they operate under the ableist assumption that toki, as a canonical age regressor and potentially autistic character, is a child incapable of making decisions by himself.

they also like to use their labels (primarily being trans and autistic) to label anyone who does not agree with them as bigoted.

here's another example of them begging for money and then misusing it -- they seem to have a habit of remaking blogs whenever people catch on.

they also make music labeled as lolicore -- this is a genre originating on 4chan which primarily gets its name from the sampling of lolicon porn. they claim the name is purely ironic and that using it does not make them a pedophile, which is correct. however, in the same breath, they also accuse triplefaggot of being a pedophile for drawing an au where toki and murderface are safe for work, fully clothed, unsexualized children, implying that simply using the word 'loli', even if ironic, is unacceptable and cause for cancellation.

to be quite frank -- this hurt me. i am upset. this is a show that brings me a lot of comfort, and several real life incidents occurring in close proximity have left me desperately in need of that comfort. i don't like the idea of having to walk on eggshells to avoid being raked over the coals by a fandom perpetually hyperfixated on the idea of ''moral purity'' -- the idea that wrong step can leave you irredeemable, and that it is your god-given duty to lambast this person for being impure, lest everybody else believe you, too, are Bad.

there is no such thing as a person without sin. the best people fuck up and make mistakes and don't think straight and act based on emotion all the damn time. you are never going to find your perfect fandom darling, and cultivating an environment where everybody is paranoid of being attacked for having beliefs that differ from yours is not only pointless, but specifically, objectively cruel -- you have accomplished nothing beyond making people afraid in a space meant to be about enjoying a cartoon and making a fool out of yourself.

i know that you aren't going to read this, @deathmetalyaoi, because you blatantly ignore anything that paints you as being incorrect. at the very most, you're going to make a text post about how people are being mean to you when all you want to do is think about nathan and pickles kissing sloppy style, and people will shower you in sympathy and pictures of kittens and puppies.

but i'll know, and that's enough for me. i'm not doing this to call you out, nor am i trying to warn people -- it's my honest response. you get what you give.

[sharp-rosee]

child sexual abuse content sharing communities have a high correlation with communities that share animal abuse content, sexual or otherwise. People are delusional to think pedophilia is about attraction. It's about sadism, that's the true commonality among all pedophiles, and this level of sadism is caused by entitlement etc like you said. It's also why some pedophiles think they're not that bad and compare themselves to pedophiles who injure children more, they're claiming virtue because they're less sadistic than they could conceive to be. Sorry if this is weird to share, you get these insights by understanding Internet history and how these communities form, are caught, etc, even though very few people make the connection of what it's about. But next time you're unfortunate and see a pedo being arrested or something notice how their behavior fits this. Meek in front of authorities but often brazen and smug if they think they got away with it for example makes sense if you understand they're sadists, and not that there is some unrelated personality defect in all pedos like being cowardly

THIS 100%

As someone who is also very online, this addition isn't weird at all and honestly I would love for this to be reblogged on my post as this is an excellent addition, and sums up better than what I was trying to say.

Society has always endorsed abusers and abusive like tendencies. It's why the patriarchy has survived for so long and why misogyny has existed in every culture. The creation of porn is a direct result of this, and from porn consumption, it puts society's teachings into motion, which is why these paraphilias are often seen developing through frequent pornography use. And because the nature of fetishes and paraphilias always escalate, as any addiction does, soon the furries become zoophiles, soon the loli-consumers become pedophiles, and as because they all coincide with another like you say, it's why most trans identified men are revealed to be pedophiles/consume pseudopedophilic material, and are also furries. It really is all major taboo fetishes all in one. Most notable TIMs on Tumblr, like patricia-taxxon and assignedmalecomics, have been exposed to have all three fetishes/paraphilias.

It is no coincidence, then, that we see furries and other paraphilia-havers being pushed to be accepted as "Queer", same with kink and even that post going around trying to make kink be "non-sexual" as well, because most trans identifying males are these things too, and they want to be able to normalize further abusive/sadist tendencies they have.

We have real societies in history to look at to see the normalization of pedophilia, like Roman men who raped young boys, the normalization of child rape amongst Christian nations (and even seen today in the Vatican ignoring child abuse/rape scandals). I have to wonder, if men succeed in dominating "Queer" ideology with their kinks and paraphilias, would we also see a resurgence in accepted cases of child abuse?

My apologies anon, I kinda rambled here lmao. I just find this acceptance of male degeneracy so disgusting and yet amazing, how we all as a collective have seemed to accept it as normal. It drives me insane.

[topharryficfest]

Welcome to Round 3 of the Top Harry Fic Fest!

About:

This fest began with the intention of exploring the versatility in what is simply a role in sex and not an indicator of one’s personality, gender, etc. We’d like to challenge the idea that just because someone may be inherently feminine in their day to day life and even enjoys that part of themselves does not mean they must only take a bottom, submissive role in the bedroom. It’s to celebrate everything that we love about Harry—his femininity, his love of pregnancy and motherhood, and his shy, gentle nature—and to explore scenarios in which he gets to be a top without erasing those beloved traits just to fit him into a box of what people believe a top should be. We enjoy unabashed displays of queerness and the inherent subversion of top/bottom dynamics that are considered “unconventional” through topics like BDSM, A/B/O, trans identities, and so on. That’s why the mods decided to continue the fest to not only shed light on this very intricate topic, but to embrace Harry in all his maidenly aura!

Rules for Writing: 

● Participants must be 18+ by the sign-up closing date (April 27th) 

● Word count minimum of 1k

● For the consideration of all participants, no underage and no non-con will be allowed; there are no other restrictions on writing explicit/sensitive content, but please tag accordingly.

● All AUs are allowed such as omegaverse, girl direction, mpreg, etc.

● Harry must predominantly top in the fic given the nature of the fest

● All pairing’s welcome as long as they are Harry-centric; Given that the fest’s theme is based on a queer dynamics, all relationships should be queer in nature.

Rules for Posting:

● Fics should be completed by the time of the author’s scheduled posting date; No WIPs are allowed.

● This fest is not anonymous; Fics should be posted publicly on AO3; Feel free to post snippets or teasers (and make sure to tag us!)

● Authors are responsible for their own fic posts and AI generated art or images are prohibited from use in moodboards, posts, etc.

● Fic posts will be reblogged and spotlighted on the scheduled posting date and the fest should be mentioned in the post.

● Fics will not be moderated, so please, use your best judgment when writing sensitive subjects and again, tag accordingly.

Schedule: 

MARCH 5th-19th: Prompt submissions

MARCH 20th-JULY 19th: Author sign ups

AUGUST 20th: Author check-in

SEPTEMBER 20th: Deadline

SEPTEMBER 23rd: Posting begins!!

Please feel free to message either of the mods @bittersweetsin or @blueskiesrry, if you have any questions! 🎀

Sign Ups Open Now!

Prompt List

Author Sign Up Form

[tashas-cauldron-of-magic-soup]

Why are we still talking about this?

So people are being weird about Astarion again (again? still?) and his being pansexual and I don't know what's good for me so I'm going to drop in my two cents. Sorry for a long post.

The post that set some of this off broached the very heteronormative headcanons and player relationships that tend to dominate the fandom tag for Astarion, and likely many other fandom spaces. Such as headcanons about him becoming a father, him being portrayed as a dominant or very masculine man, etc.

And I want to start off by saying that there is a kernel of truth to the concerns brought up in this post. Largely, I think the topic that OP brought up is valid. The tendency for a character's sexuality or personality to be either reduced, or wholly erased, within fandom is unfortunately prevalent. Especially towards the direction of cis-heteronormative ideals.

I, too, understand there is an oversaturation of F!Tav x Astartion content as someone who is genderfluid and pansexual. While headcanons about Astarion as a parent are not inherently heteronormative, I absolutely understand that many of them are. And headcanons about him being this domineering, super "alpha" type man are also very heteronormative running counter to his canon personality.

And I have a laugh to myself when said content is wildly antithetical to how I view Astarion's personality and tendencies. I, personally, think he'd make a horrible father. And I don't think he'd be overly dominant sexually, either. So I understand where the jokes about these headcanons come from.

But there are two really unsavory sentiments getting tossed around and it's getting a little too close for comfort.

The first one being that women are somehow "ruining" Astarion. You may not think that's how you come across, but it is. The reality is many women playing BG3 are heterosexual. And to treat heterosexual women as incapable of loving Astarion for who he is, queerness and all, is a big generalization to make. Women are capable of loving a queer man, even if they themselves are not queer.

Not the mention, you have no guarantees that the woman shipping her Tav with Astarion is heterosexual or cisgender. There are queer women who love Astarion. There are trans women who love Astarion. So, I'm asking you to cool it a little when you see a woman indulge her fantasy of falling in love with Astarion and don't make a snap judgement of her intentions.

The second one is the recurring belief that Astarion should be considered canonically gay. This is troublesome because he does already have a canonical sexuality. It's pansexual. If you headcanon him as gay, that's whatever. It's less loaded that calling him straight, sure, since you're trading one queer identity for another. But you can't say it's canon, or more "correct" than any other headcanon. It's your opinion, and it is subjective.

And please do deconstruct why it is that you wish him to be a sexuality other than pansexual. What is it about him that makes you reject that he can be attracted to women?

Let me be clear, the people out there attempting to erase his pansexuality and claim that he is straight are not true to his character. That isn't canon and you shouldn't have to treat it like it is.

The people attempting to erase his pansexuality and claim that he is gay are also not true. That also is not canon and you shouldn't have to treat it like it is.

Headcanon whatever you want, I can't stop you. But please refrain from falling into weirdly misogynistic "women are yucky" arguments or weirdly panphobic "he's too effeminate to be attracted to women" arguments to get your point across regarding the prevalence of heteronormative ideals being pushed on him.

[velvetvexations]

we (rightfully) talk a lot about how TERFs are hiding in trans spaces online spreading radfeminism which is how we ended up like this, but i feel like 4channers might be responsible for a bit of it too. it sometimes feels like /tttt/ has spread to the wider internet, trans people on /tttt/ are filled with so much vitriol and self-hatred and they're encouraged to externalise towards other trans people. there was even a scientific paper written about /tttt/ which analysed in-group hate speech (https://helda.helsinki.fi/server/api/core/bitstreams/3afd3b7b-d770-4bed-8020-817d9c6234a5/content), trans people directing transphobic hate speech against other trans people. it just seems like some trans people on here are so bitter and hate themselves so much, and while i understand it isn't exclusive to any one place especially in this transphobic society, it feels like they have been influenced somewhat by /tttt/, maybe not directly but second or thirdhand. but hating yourself and using that to hate other trans people is a great way to sow division, it might not be deliberate but it's happening.

and slightly unrelated but i've seen cis 4channers conspire to post conventionally attractive cis people in trans subreddits whilst claiming to be trans, for the sole purpose of making trans people extra dysphoric about themselves. they post very curvy cis women in the transfem subreddits and extremely athletic cis men in transmasc subreddits. and it's to divide us again, you become envious of these trans people who have it so much better than you because they're fully cis passing only a year on hormones and actually they're not even trans!

i might be wrong about 4chan and/or /tttt/ breaking containment to split us up, but that's what i personally have pieced together

it's probably not an active conspiracy but it does surely have a major impact

[duplicitywrites]

Hi Duplicity! I’m asking you this with no intention to cause offence, and because you’re a creator in this fandom I like a lot, but how do you balance your content with JKR Rowling’s views ? I keep seeing people say that we should all stop consuming and producing Harry Potter content, because despite the intention, or Hc-ing it to suit our views, any engagement with the source material is bringing it to attention, and thus bring her and her hateful views against Trans people to attention, furthering her platform by ensuring her works remain in the collective mind of many people instead of letting it die out and somehow contributing to her legacy. I know you’re very very supportive of LGBTQ+ folks and seem like a very kind person, and I’m not insinuating at all you support JKR herself, but how do you deal with that implication and the unintentional effects your fanfics may have ? Just because it is somewhat true that fandom fuels popularity that fuels profit and yada yada. Please don’t take this the wrong way! Thank you and bless you for your writing ❤️

no offense taken! i hope you'll take my response the same way 💗

to be blunt, i think people who say that we should cease any engagement with the source material are wrong. the equation of content consumption with someone's personal morals is reductive and ultimately harmful.

this (often literal) armchair activism disrespects and disregards the very real efforts people make on a day to day basis -- whether that be through volunteer work, charitable donations, or simply serving as support to friends/family who are a part of those very minority groups that those naysayers claim to advocate for.

jkr is extremely vocal about her garbage opinions -- why are people not directing their ire at her instead of the random strangers they encounter on the internet? well, strangers on the internet are easier targets. it's easier to get a response. it's easier to ostracize and bully someone who doesn't have the security and following that a public figure like jkr has.

it's concerning to me how the concept of "doing the right thing" has shifted more and more towards "attacking the 'wrong' people". who is the target in these situations? is it actually a transphobic person who is being criticized, or is it someone who just likes harry potter? because in most situations i've seen, it's the latter. moral policing in fandom spaces has only gotten worse as the internet slowly morphs into one homogeneous corporate blob, and this is just another example of it taken too far.

harassing someone for liking harry potter doesn't miraculously make them a good person -- it doesn't make them morally superior. it just makes them someone who likes to attack others to feel better about themselves, someone who often looks for 'acceptable' excuses to do so. i'm secure enough in myself that i don't let this bother me, and i certainly don't accept anyone who thinks this way as a 'better' person than me.

i know i am not responsible for the opinions and actions of my readers. it is insanity to claim my writing harry potter fanfiction is making transphobes be transphobic, just as it is equally ridiculous to claim that writing about murder will turn people into murderers.

personally, i believe the best step is to not financially support harry potter as a franchise. this means not paying for official merch/content. but that's my own business -- i won't judge, insult, or attack the people who do, and that's because it would be hypocritical to hold anyone to this standard.

what about disney? what about walmart, or amazon, or any other company that profits off of the misery of minorities and the disadvantaged? people will say there is no ethical consumption under capitalism, but that is just another black-and-white approach to an incredibly nuanced topic.

the world we live in is flawed, with "problematic" humans involved at every level of society. there is no clear answer for every situation, so at the end of the day, i can't and won't tell you what to do or what to think, other than encourage you to make these decisions for yourself.

as individuals, the best thing we can do is take responsibility for ourselves. think critically about the actions we take and the impact these actions have on others. live the best life we can under the circumstances we've been given.

(much better than dunking on someone for putting their hogwarts house in their social media bio.)

[alligatorjesie]

Hey that's alright you can block me as much as you like but it wont change anything man. You said some shit things so I'm going to say some shit things to you.

You know what that's fine we can just repost that whole comment so people can see what a shitass you are @blessyouhawkeye

Hey real quick you do realize that reylo is just a really vanilla ass enemies-to-lovers ship if you have a problem with it well good luck man this shit is literally everywhere in media.

Almost like it's a popular trope. Have you never watched a rom com? Woof. I got some news for you brosph.

but you know what since we're on the tangent of 'weird people' in fandoms let's talk about that for a moment.

You wanna know what's weird? There's a lot of finnreys in the reblogs acting positively feral about their ship not being canon

(which idk I watched TRoS that was pretty open ended if your still mad about reylo by the end of that movie that shits on you)

and upset they don't have book deals like the reylos but IDK man maybe the reason finnreys ain't got book deals is because they spend all their time online bitching about how their ship got shafted instead of writing that fucking fanfiction.

You know when the reylos got shafted with the shit show that was EP9 instead of spending the next 3 years complaining they just trucked along in their own fucking sandbox completing their own fucking projects for their own fucking friends.

Fuck Disney we'll make our own reylo with blackjack and hookers and sex scenes.

You mean to tell us you've had more problems with reylos who were just excited to see the story concepts they predicted from The Force Awakens coming true in The Last Jedi and making positive content to reflect that joy compared to the actual nazis on YouTube who flood the platforms with 3 hour long hate videos over how Bree Larson is somehow personally responsible for their dicks falling off?

You remember that one time ethan van sciver said he wanted to kill Chinese people? He's a really popular star wars/comic book YouTuber and he's way more problematic than anyone I've ever met in the reylo fandom.

And guess what he also hates reylo what a shock!

You wanna talk about some unhinged weird behavior allow me to direct you at a rabid finnrey who has told me graphically to kill myself at least 5 times now for the sin of enjoying the wrong part of star wars according to them.

That shits fucking unhinged

Here's some of those death threats these are 100% real by the way:

Obviously Death Threat Warning some of these are quite gnarly.

This user still has an active account.

I've reported them several times but I sometimes feel like the only thing that will get you banned on this hellsite is being trans I swear to fucking god.

This user has spent over 7 years shit posting hate directly into the reylo fandom's tag instead of doing literally anything else to make their own fandom more enjoyable for themselves.

That's weird shit.

What has been hellish is being in this fandom for over 9 years and dealing with the amount of uncalled for vitriol at this very fucking plain flavor baby's first enemies-to-lovers ship.

I only started keeping track of the death threats back in September 2022

It's not even been a full 2 years and I'm nearing 1000.

This is the header for my Tumblr. This is a real number by the way I have every death threat I've gotten since starting this documented on my computer.

It's actually 955 because thepettycunt here just sent me a new death threat so now I gotta update the banner.

fun!

One day I'll make a master post.

Today is not that day.

But let's be very honest here the real number of death threats I've personally gotten are well into multiple thousands across multiple platforms over 9 years.

Just for enjoying reylo.

And I'm a furry and have been since the 90s. I'm use to being told to kill myself from strangers on the internet so color me confused when I join this really basic bitch of a fandom ship only to find the hate towards it somehow fucking worse.

That's some fucking weird unhinged shit.

I know you made this shit post just to be a shit poster so don't take this too personally I'm sure at this point you already think I'm unhinged and rightfully so

maybe I am

but after the 100th death threat I just stopped giving a fuck so you'll just have to forgive me but it's real buck ass wild to be called 'weird' when I've never sent death threats to people over fictional ships and none of my reylo friends have done that shit either but I am almost 99% sure if you look though the history of any single person who reblogged this post bitching about reylo you'll find they have a history of doing that shit.

You can pick any one. Odds are they have anti reylo posts going years back and at worst some of them have straight up told people in this fandom to kill themselves.

I can look through YOUR history OP and see You're a huge pile of shit towards reylos!

Go on pick one out at random and have a go. It's a fun horrible way to spend a afternoon.

And before anyone brings it up because people who hate reylo always do;

'what about that one time reylos harassed John Boye-'

a group of women telling John Boyega the things he's saying are sexist towards his female coworker who had already been harassed off social media a few years prior and asking him to do better isn't the harassment you think it is.

You can find that 'reaction' video John made to the reylos on google and watch it yourself. No one is being racist but they are all asking him to stop making sex jokes on his female coworkers behalf and expressing disappointment in him. In fact he even had to reused quite a few of the quotes because I think about halfway through making the video he realized he just didn't have that much material and the things people were saying were pretty fucking mild.

And I'm not sorry. Asking a adult man to hold himself accountable for the shit he says is not on the same level as the far fucking worse shit the over arching star wars fandom has done well before reylo was even a twinkle in anyone's eye

Lastly one more thing and I'm done I swear and I'm going to apologize in advance because I'm gonna sound really spicy and I guess I kinda am but not in a mean way more in a really fucking confused way

but what the fuck do you mean jenny nicholsons reylo videos are unhinged?

They're the fucking same as the rest of her videos.

Is there something less unhinged about a nearly 4 hour long video about a failed fantasy RPG theme park over a 1 hour long video about how star wars episode 9 was absolute dogshit?

Jenny makes cringe videos about cringe shit. That's her brand.

She's voiced her enjoyment of reylo very early on... I think back in The Force Awakens days? So why are you surprised she would talk about the subject at length in detail? She bought a stuffed porg larger than herself and documented collecting it on video for her channel.

Yeah man she probably likes reylo.

Most people who like TLJ do.

What... what the fuck do you mean her reylo videos specific are unhinged?

I'm sorry but if known racist and sexist YouTuber doomcock can spend 6 hours complaining about TLJ because Rey don't make his dick hard like Luke Skywalker does and he's going to make his refusal to reflect on that issue our fucking problem I don't think Jenny is unhinged for complaining about the inarguably bad movie that was the rise of skywalker for less time than the movie's total runtime.

I'm not even mad I'm just really confused by your statement.

[enki2]

let me tell you a story about how not just gender roles but gender categories are highly culturally specific. in japan, in the 60s, there was a category called 'gayboy'; lots of people self-identified with it. what it meant was an AMAB person who dresses in a feminine way and enacts feminine roles. this can map onto a lot of stuff in other systems of understanding gender; actually, it was a pretty big tent. in the late 60s, a movie came out: half kitchen-sink drama and half documentary, Funeral Parade of Roses was a movie about life in tokyo's queer underground intercut with interviews with the cast and crew, themselves members of the tokyo queer underground, about their experiences of sex, gender, attraction, social roles, journeys of self-identification, and their similarity and differences with their characters. one of the questions that was asked, of many people, was 'why are you a gayboy?' the answers fell across a familiar spectrum, and again there's this temptation to place it on our own maps, which are ours because we prefer them and vice versa. for instance: 'i like being a girl', 'i like acting like a girl but only because i'm not a girl', 'i was bad at being a boy, and i found out that i'm naturally better at being a girl', 'i'm not exactly either a boy or girl', 'i'm a boy, this dress is just a fashion statement', 'i am not a gayboy, i am a traditional conservative woman with a birth defect'. now, the editor of japan's first gay magazine wrote a review of The Funeral Parade of Roses that took on a revolutionary tone, and afterward, the term gayboy fell out of favor and instead people refered to themselves as 'the rose tribe' -- as in, anyone who ever identified with something they saw in The Funeral Parade of Roses. the magazine pivoted to be the premire publication of the rose tribe, broadening its audience, but the old guard and the majority were gay men. in response to reader mail about gay male content crowding other stuff out of limited page space, the editor created a specific section called 'the lily tribe', which got guaranteed page space and was exclusive to femme-leaning content (while masc- and neutral- content could predominate elsewhere). this did not necessarily mean that the occasional lesbian or transfem article wouldn't make its way into the main body of the magazine if it was deemed of wide enough interest. the rose / lily categorization system seems to have remained the baseline in japan for a while (my direct knowledge of this part is very limited). today, our categories are more global and intersecting: anime will intentionally place trans flags or use bisexual lighting.

[anonil88]

I see the gays are going to loose their minds over Jasmin's public journey with queerness. And some of you are sounding a lil too much like Afterellen writers.

To yall and to anyone who feels the same as her might i suggest this interview:

Or any of these links / books. which i'm using good reads links so you can see the triggers or content warnings to not be blind sided.

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg (good reads link but you can find the book for free) tw assault, this is not a book for minors

Zami by Audre Lorde (good reads)

My Gender Workbook (good reads) and Gender Outlaws: both the original and the 2010 version by Kate Bornstein

This SLATE article from 2015 (slate article) (wayback in case that link breaks)

These reddit posts with a valley of insight in the comments from older much older queer, gay, and lesbian people: Thread 1 Thread 2

A study done in 2009

Bodies in Relation—Bodies in Transition (article here)

Youtube videos and maybe a documentary

Queer Theory 101- Part 1- An open discussion with Ben Bateman- 30 min and there are 2 parts (go to youtube)

Brief Lecture Introducing Concepts of Queer Theory with Professor Matt Alberhasky- 10 min (go to youtube)

Judith Butler explaining Gender Theory- 13 min (youtube) and their book Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity (good reads): and i will quote them here "Stumbling is a part of learning and making an error is a part of learning." & "Many people who refuse to allow trans people to define themselves is that they feel their own self definition is destabilized."

The Aggressives (free tubi link but you can arrgh matey it if you try hard enough) , a 2005 documentary, directed by Eric Daniel Peddle. An insightful exposé on the subculture of masculine presenting POC and their "femme" counterparts. Filmed over five years in NYC, the featured subjects share their dreams, secrets and deepest fears. Some of the AGs in this video identify as trans men, non binary, or bi now but all of their experiences are valid.

And if you were wondering yes, yes i do love researching and having references. Its fun.

This might be shocking but there are older lesbians and i am talking the most butch blue collar trades dyke with silver strands who have done way more things that would make some of y'all squeem because its not within this very linear view of what some people view should be everyone's exact labeled experience should be. And yes they still fully identify as lesbians and are in very long term commited lesbian relationships their past has just been a lot. No two people are the same and many people will have a definition similar to you but an entirely different and layered experience. This also includes experiences and journeys with labels that you are going to feel uncomfortable with if they open up about the journey that it took them on to get to the same label you use. I tend to say that is for thee does not have to be for me. Sometimes the moments of others journey albeit will be cringey to you and others but they aren't directly harmful to you and your experience. No matter what we will all still be hit on by people and certain demographics that we do not want to be hit on, because they do not care. Tearing apart your communities in person and online over drivel and people just on their journey whilst learning does nothing for us when that is what those in opposition are banking on. Now unclench and breathe.

[the-aviary-system]

Aviary System Intro Post

We've been putting this off for too long it's time to make something. We'll edit this as time goes on. For now, basic info and a list of current headmates. It should be a pretty decent frame of reference for our system, account, and individual headmates.

It's gonna get long so I'm gonna drop a read-more here.

Feel free to ask questions about our system :) we love answering and aren’t shy about interacting with doubles or sourcemates for the most part.

We're traumagenic, probably an OSDD system but not diagnosed. We are pro-endo and will block anti-endo blogs. So if you've got a problem with endogenic systems, get out. You don't know them better than they do.

We won’t block you outright but if you reblog a lot of content from anti-endo users that isn’t outright anti-endo (like generic system experiences with a “endos dni” tag on it), we won’t follow back. We have “anti endo,” “endos dni,” and similar tags filtered so it shows us even if your repost doesn’t have those tags. We have them filtered because anti-endo people suck and we don’t want to accidentally reblog something from them!

On that topic, we're also supportive of xenogenders, neopronouns, otherkin, and other stuff like that. Bigotry will not be tolerated even if we don't have someone in our system who identifies with a certain label.

We don't have a full DNI list yet but it's kinda the usual for the most part, don’t be a dick or a bigot.

We tend to dislike blocking people since we want people to be allowed to speak, but if we say we’re done with an argument and that we’ll start blocking people who try to continue it, we mean it. That’s something we have to do for our mental health and if one member of the system doesn’t start blocking people to end an argument, someone else will.

Some of our headmates are littles and our host age regresses so we may interact with agere content, we feel obligated to say that our littles and regressors are not like this as some sort of kink, this is not DDLG, do not treat them as such. Our littles do not consent to being sexualized and that is a blockable offense for their safety.

Due to having littles we will refrain from following more adult blogs to curate our feeds for their comfort. Also, we won’t reblog or post NSFW on our account. That’s not a DNI, we just probably won’t follow you if you post too much of that, but we’re not gonna like block you or anything.

(Maybe we should make a sideblog dedicated to our littles though? Idk)

We're diagnosed with ADHD but probably also have autism, anxiety, and PTSD.

We consider ourselves a transmasc system because most of us are masculine, so you can call us by he/him, though we're used to people referring to us collectively by plural they/them. Ironically a lot of our headmates consider themselves cis in the wrong body bc plurality is just odd like that- even those who do consider themselves trans do so independently of the body, instead being trans in headspace.

We have a lot of fictives.

We tag posts with whoever made them or reblogged them under the format of [name] post.

Headmates

Condensed down for readability and ease of upkeep! And also because some of us had concerns we were sharing a little too much info.

Asakayu- he/him, lamia. Not an introject

Darmiir Ashmaul- he/him but in a nonbinary way. An introject of a D&D character, a mimic monk/rogue who played in a game of Curse of Strahd.

Dipper Pines- he/him, Gravity Falls fictive

Emyr- he/it, host, core, otherkin. Has quite a few kintypes, including a number of species, Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel), pink and cyan lizards (Rain World), and Chad (one of the background gators in TADC)

Grima- he/him, Fire Emblem: Awakening fictive

Laios Touden- he/him, Dungeon Meshi fictive

Lerian- he/they, heron laguz (a species from Fire Emblem) but not a direct introject of a canon character.

Link- he/they, Breath of the Wild fictive

Lucifer- any/all, introjected from the general concept of christian mythos rather than any particular media

Mister Mistoffelees- he/him, gli/glitterself, spar/sparkleself, tri/trickself, il/illusionself, Cats (1998) fictive

No-Face/Kaonashi- it/its? Spirited Away fictive. Nonverbal

Pure Vessel- it/its, Hollow Knight fictive, nonverbal

Rum Tum Tugger- he/him, Cats (1998) fictive

Strahd von Zarovich- he/him, Curse of Strahd fictive

Strix- she/they, snowy owl harpy, little. Not an introject

FNaF Fictives

The aftons- Michael (he/him; Husk kin (Hazbin Hotel)), Evan (he/him; little), Vanessa (she her; movie version; rabbitkin)

The Daycare Attendants- Sun (he/him), Moon (he/it), Eclipse (they/them)

Charlotte "Charlie" Emily- she/her, middle, based on the games

Jeremy Fitzgerald- he/she

M.X.E.S.- xe/it, gatekeeper

Mary Schmidt- she/her, adult version (so around the era of FNaC 1)

Mimic- it/any, based on both the books and the games

Rain World

Artificer- she/they

Five Pebbles- he/him

Gourmand- they/he

Hunter- they/them

Monk- they/them

Saint- they/them, maybe it/its?

Scavenger- they/them; looks like either scav ID 48 or 140. No name yet

Sofanthiel- Undecided pronouns

Survivor- they/them

The Amazing Digital Circus

Caine- he/him

Jax- he/him

Pomni- she/her

Zooble- Varies (genderfluid)

Toby Fox

Categorizing Undertale and Deltarune under the same banner for saving space

Kris Dreemurr- they/them

Eldritchrune!Kris- they/them, introjected from lynxgriffin's AU

Napstablook- they/them, star/starself, neb/nebulaself, gala/galaxyself

Rouxls Kaard- he/him

Sans- he/him

Susie- she/her

Vivzieverse

Hazbin/Helluva, also lumped together for space. Also, for the record, we recognize the flaws in these shows. It's just super introjectable for some reason?

Adam- he/him

Alastor- he/him, gatekeeper

Angel Dust- he/him

Charlie Morningstar- she/her

Lucifer Morningstar- he/him

Stolas- he/him

Valentino- he/him, angerholder

Velvette- she/her

Vox- he/him, it/its, wy/wireself, bit/byteself

Wings of Fire

Clay- he/him

Fatespeaker- she/her

Glory- she/her

Moonwatcher- she/her

Qibli- he/him

Starflight- he/him

Sunny- she/her

Tsunami- she/her

[secretgoongrrl]

this is, at its core, a raceplay blog.

I'm a white trans girl who grew up in a very white part of the U.S. Inevitably, even with very liberal and well-intentioned parents, I developed a type of racism that a lot of white people my age are carrying around whether they realize it or not: the fetishizing of Blackness, both Black culture and Black people's bodies themselves. I've grown a lot and done some actual atoning since I was young and stupid, but I have never been able to escape the core of it: a combination of racial fetishization and white guilt that makes submitting to Black dom/mes extremely hot.

some people believe their Black supremacy kink -- whether they call it "BBC," "Blacked," "BNWO," etc. -- isn't racist. those people are wrong. Raceplay is racist, no matter what; the problem is, that's pretty much exactly what makes it hot. in one direction or another, raceplay involves the erotic re/enactment of racism for the pleasure of, hopefully, all parties involved. it is a sexual expression of racial tensions and anxieties that still linger in our brains, even if we rationally know better and conduct ourselves with respect in all other aspects of our lives.

I also think raceplay gets a bad rap for a good reason. white people who engage in it tend to behave so shittily to others -- people in their scenes, people who they drag in without their consent, etc. -- that even PoC who would otherwise be interested in playing with them are instead repelled, traumatized, and quickly distance themselves from the kink. again, this is true for white people who claim to love the "BNWO" and Black supremacy play just as much as those who like "bleached" stuff and whose fetish content plays on actual white supremacy. a lot of people focus only on Black men and talk shit about Black women, and then don't even respect any part of the Black men they "worship" except their cocks. the trend of referring to Black men as "a BBC" in particular is so deeply fucked up and I wish it would go away. (at least call it his.)

having spoken extensively and played with Black raceplay enthusiasts in particular (both dom and sub), this whole dynamic really sucks, because a lot of us this feel that this kink really can help provide an outlet for frustrations with ourselves, others, and society. (apart from race revelations, i've also seen raceplay help people better understand their sexual orientation and process real abuse, but that's another post.) it requires a fuckton of negotiation and cultivating actual respect, but I don't think consensual raceplay is uniquely harmful, despite its somewhat deservedly negative reputation.

so that's where I'm coming from in making this blog. in sum, i mostly want this page to be an exploration of Black supremacy and white inferiority, presented as ethically as I'm capable of. I used to blog about this on cohost, but now I am giving Tumblr one more shot. I'm also on pillowfort as secretgoongirl.

blocks are expected and respected. if any of the above intrigues or excites you, on the other hand: hit up my asks, you reprehensible bigots.

[writinandcrying]

Hellou!Im the persone who asked about requests a while back(Mainly because I didnt wanna overwhelm you if theyre closed) and Im really glad they are.Anyway,could I request Donnie(TMNT),Tamaki(BNHA) and/or FatGum(BNHA)(Also,I hope I havent gone over the character limit) with a slightly chubby s/o?(Insecure or not,you chose!).You dont have to do this if you dont want to tho!Have a nice week❤

Hellou! Thank you so much for being so thoughtful, I’ll have to apologize tho, I no longer write for bnha, I had a huge burnout fand I do not feel comfortable writing about it anymore, I hope a veeeery detailed Donnie reaction to a chubby reader will make up for the absence of those characters! ♥️

Tmnt - Donnie x Chubby reader (Gender Neutral!)

I’ll have to start that all of the boys wouldn’t judge or reject you based on your appearance, being either chubby, slim, tall, short, there are a few attributes that I think each turtle would find it e seeing or interesting, but it’s more… humanly related(?) maybe one day I’ll make a post about it if you guys wanna hear my opinion on it hehe :)

Donnie(generalized) x Chubby Reader:

just like there are certain stuff about the turtles that they like and dislike about themselves, there are stuff about humans who think the same about themselves! and even though Donnie knows there are beauty standards that control many areas in humans society, he still doesn’t understand why people outcast those who are different

I think some of us (readers / shippers) get a bit :C when thinking about Donnie bc in almost every version, he had a crush on April (who is a babe in every. Version. Specially rise, I love rise-April so much, and that’s the only apriltello I’ll let it slide lmao) and that can give a “perception” that he wouldn’t even glance at some of us ( “us” = being a huge group, trans, guys, chubby girls, chubby guys, skinny girls and guys, everyone who doesn’t fit the normie mold I guess- I unfortunately think about that often. Which sucks cuz I gotta remind myself that isn’t true!!! At all!!)

I personally Headcanon Donnie being… I don’t know if interested would be the correct word, but more intrigued with how humans relate to each other, on their first missions, he knew they could… scare some of them off, “frightened by their own prejudice” as master splinter would say, but it’s far more different to hear about it than to actually live it, and it hurts to hear someone scream their heart out just by seeing you

While growing up, he started to notice not only in television, on and off midia, how people would mess around with others on the street just because of their appearance, he knew society worked though this beauty standards, but he didn’t understand it. It didn’t made sense! value someone based on what they look like? There are so many things, so many attributes to make someone interesting, and you gonna pick the most…. Boring? Plain? Vague? Shallow reason to create privilege over others? Really? (And thst enters on the topic of how almost all beauty standards are rooted in white privileged and racism but I’ll go on a tangent about it once I start it and I’ve already said a lot lols)

He could literally go on for hours about this topic (which he has. At least tried with each one of his brothers, but they never really responded well to so said topic “if humans have it bad, then what do we have left?” Raphael barked back once, an attempt to shut him up, which it worked, btw- he didn’t like to go through that direction when thinking about that topic, but yeah, what does he have left?)

He started searching about different aesthetics, ethnicities, he has folders on Pinterest dedicated different body types, cultures, he swears it’s for research reasons, which kinda is, but Donnie’s guilty pleasure is checking “different” people online, those who would deem strange and weird outside the internet, he liked seeing their content and specially their comment sections being filled with wonderful compliments, people relating to different styles and tastes, that gave him hope that there are someone out there with different views of how everyone should be “shaped”, and that maybe he will find someone who thinks he’s handsome and desirable (Donnie, just like Raph, is also insecure about his body, but he’s more… melancholic about it, if you confessed to Raphael, there would be a high change of him pushing you away, trying not to break his heart from actually believing you, while DonDon here, if you both started dating- on some days Donnie would need more reassurance that yes, his partner does think he’s handsome/hot/attractive. Otherwise he might internalize his insecurities and it will be HARD to get a confession “why he’s so upset out of the sudden” from this turtle)

With that being said!!!! (My god I do know how to ramble) without even realizing, Donnie open his “preferences”? Let’s say, Became more open minded than most, While seeking comfort for himself, and when he says he doesn’t have a type, he really doesn’t. There are so many aesthetics that could be attractive! punks, goths, cottagecore, y2k, dark academia, light academia, grunge, fairycore, alt, the list is endless! And don’t get him started on physical attributes cuz there are so many different combinations that some how, people manage to connect the most random ones and make it look great

Donnie wouldnt fall for someone specially bc of their appearance, or that would be the first reason he would fall head over heels, when you think about it, what happened to April it was that she was extremely passionate and dedicated to *insert which cause she was fighting for* and took Donnie seriously, that light up a lightbulb in his head that has never been on before, people showing how ardently they can be into something, how much they care and such, that’s attractive to him, and after that, everything that person does, or is, suddenly becomes beautiful and amazing for Donnie

Withthatbeingsaidpart2- if Donnie did fall for someone more on the chubbier side, their “plumpy-ness” would def be something to call his attention out after he developed feelings, he longed for your hugs, specially after he found out how soft and warm they were, he actually started having more naps after you caught his heart, imaging how it would be to cuddle someone as soft as you while hugging his pillow late at night on his bed (which eventually he would doze off from day dreaming so much)

Talking about day dreaming, Donnie can totally lose himself in his mind, just like with his projects, he can imerse himself in a fantasy about you two easily, which makes him totally freeze when you show up and he actually have to say or do something he has been constantly dreaming about

So please confess first, cuz when I say he can lose himself in his daydreams, that can last for months until he actually gathers courage to do something about it

While in a relationship, Donnie is totally a hopeless romantic, but not the typical “roses and candlelight’s dinner” kind, as your boyfriend, he wants to help you out no matter what, he will make aaaaas many inventions as he can that might increase the quality of your life, becomes easier to do… whatever, literally. And he always longs for your adorable reactions to his gifts

He adores your chubby cheeks, he will! Get lost! in your face! Your eyes! Eveything! He will oh so slowly caress his knuckles softly across it, sliding to your neck, traveling through your arms, he likes to squish your face a bit as well while cupping it when he goes for a kiss, he just thinks everything about you is adorable (and hot at the same time)

He really like the contraste his skin has with yours, it’s so foreign for him and he can’t help but to love how smooth your skin can be, (which leads his mind to ahem. Certain kind of thoughts. If you know what I mean)

Just like he needs reassurance about his appearance, he knows you probably had to deal with more than one unpleasant comment about your physique, so you don’t even have to ask, Donnie is so whipped with you, compliments about you just drip of his tongue, and it’s always so sweet, followed by a pair of soft eyes, always admiring you, plus, Donnie is a science / fact man, he would gather information about other cultures that value more curvy, chubby, bigger people, he would go as far as making a slide presentation how wonderful and more inclusive people are being (even if it doesn’t seams like it, and there’s still a long way to go) he would include real opinions online other than his on the matter that your body is indeed, a snack, (aaaaaand he is once again right, aaaaand just like everyone else you just have to live with it and accept it 😌 end of story)

He would definitely “put up to test” his theory of how amazing it is to cuddle someone who’s more on the chubbier side (and his theory is ✅ correct)

Cuddling becomes a weekly thing for you guys, that being you sitting on his lap, having naps, watching movies together, he loves to create or update his projects with you on his lap, holding you grounds him. Plus it’s easier to speak some kisses on your cheeks that way

He finds out some people on the heavier side stops themselves to live some experiences the hard way, he never wants to make you uncomfortable, ever. But it takes a while for him to understand why wouldn’t you like to, as an example, wear a bathing suit/ swimwear around other people, wearing lighter clothes when it’s absurdly hot during winter time, that you don’t like when he picks you up? things that don’t connect right away. he promises himself to never force you to do anything you don’t want to, but he slowly will try to support you to do whatever you have always wanted to but stopped yourself from doing so bc of your weight

He would take extra time while making out with you, he wants you to know how much he loves your body, every inch of it. Lowkey likes to drag his nails on your tights and mark you

Overall? Donnie is extremely thoughtful, independently of how his partner look like, if they were “part” of some sort of outcast from society, he would take his sweet time to show how important and special his partner is, he is extremely thankful to be able to experience love, something that not only him, but all of the boys, thought it was out of their reach for a really long time, so you bet he’s going to show how appreciative he is oof your love, of all of you 💜

I really tired to innovate a bit here, didn’t want to add the same stuff as other Headcanons that already exists (I mean, Its cute to read how we as writing blogs / authors “agree” on how the boys would react in certain situations, which it is a FactTM that Donnie is a sweetheart. but it’s also good to read new stuff, oooor you know, a new perspective of it, even if it is a “common” / “already done” scenario, you know? )

even if I mostly rambled about Donnie’s personality analysis than to actual stuff he would do or act around an chubby reader lmao, I truly hope you like this! I didn’t proof read this so I’m sorry if there are any grammar mistakes hehe