#though sometimes i do wonder about whether all the ppl i have blocked Should be blocked.

[orcelito]

Yet again hindered by the "this reply is hidden because you have the user blocked" message. It has me Almost wondering whether I'd be better off not blocking so many people. So that I can freely be a nosy bitch.

Almost, but not quite. My block list is for my sanity, after all.

[thefudge]

hi dr. fudge! i hope you're doing well.

firstly, i want to express how much i love your writing. your fics helped me discover, explore, and better understand my appeal for darker fiction. i started reading your work in my teens and having your fic as this counter to the puritan takes on tumblr about "immoral fiction" really helped me avoid experiencing a lot of shame and general misunderstanding about dark fiction that i'm sure would've plagued my younger years otherwise. so thank you immensely for that.

that brings me to my next point and question: how do you just write shamelessly and stop caring whether people "approve" of your ship and taste? i know it is SO silly to care and that you can't appease everyone, but i'm writing my first "dark" ship - which isn't even dark, it's just pretty disliked bc one half of the ship is the show's Asshole Sexist Guy and he's paired with a more lovable female character - but i'm still oddly nervous about it? it's just a different pairing than what i usually write for.

but my needless anticipation about a possibly negative reception bc it's out of my norm and, again, bc it's for a ship where the guy is "problematic" are affecting my ability to write and souring my excitement about this fic. i know there's literally nothing wrong with this, the stakes are so low, and people will likely not care that much but if they do, who cares, yet i can't shake these nagging thoughts! i was wondering if you had any insight you could lend about Letting It Go and just enjoying writing again without these concerns getting in the way.

my apologies for dumping this ridiculously long ask on your doorstep. i always look forward to hearing your thoughts about anything and you're so kind to your anons, which is why i sent this to you. thank you for all that you do! i hope you have a nice day. :-)

omgosh, getting emotional about that first paragraph and you reading my work in your teens! :'''') thank you <3 i'm really glad i could be a good influence.

as for your qualms about writing your own darker ship, i get your anxieties, but the right ppl will find and engage with your story, because there's a hunger for bolder content that tackles darker themes in a genuine fashion. think of it this way, some ppl are just as anxious about asking for this content, as you are about writing it. so you guys will find each other.

the negative comments/reactions usually fall into two categories: 1. Spanish inquisition trolls who did not even read the story but want to berate you for tackling anything they consider improper (and you just ignore/delete/block those), 2. genuine criticism about the way you tackled the ship/themes, which may sometimes come from a good place, but which can still be a dick move if it's too aggressive or not at all constructive. The second kind of criticism may sometimes happen if the author writes dark fic that's very OOC and lacking in substance, where it's impossible to imagine the characters doing the actions in the fic, and the author doesn't even try to make it believable. and for what it's worth, though i understand the criticism in those cases, there should be room for those kinds of fics too, where ppl just wanna have fun and not think too much about it, because the right ppl will find those fics too. from your message, i get the impression that you put a lot of thought into this and you want to write a dark fic where you want the pairing to be believable and make sense, which means you'll be careful about characters and storytelling, and i think that will come through in the writing, which is why i also think you'll get positive reactions. just the fact that you care so much will seep into your writing and make the readers appreciate it.

even if you're anxious about this process, your brain already knows the answer, because you seem like you really want to write this, so let that feeling guide you, let it be bigger than your worries, because it IS bigger than your worries. ultimately, you want to make smth you enjoy, and that feeling is infectious, so your readers will feel the same. and even if they don't, i'll be here, cheering you on! so drop a link when you've posted it!

[isoldmysoultojonahclemence]

JONAH’S EVER AFTER ON IKEREV TW

I CAN’T I--

HIS RELEASE CAMPAIGN CAME OUT YESTERDAY BUT I ONLY SAW IT A FEW MINUTES AGO BC I WAS ON VACATION I CAN’T BELIEVE I MISSED THIS WHAT KIND OF JONAH STAN AM I

THIS MEANS THAT JONAH’S ROUTE CAMPAIGN WILL BEGIN SOMEWHERE AROUND LATE OCTOBER OR EARLY NOVEMBER IN THE ENGLISH VERSION SO MARK YOUR CALENDARS

I’m putting the rest of this under a cut for length bc I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY

[Translation:

“On the 1 in a hundred million chance that I cannot marry you into the Clemence family, then I’m prepared to abandon my family.”

Whether it��s to build a family together, or to receive happiness together. For the one you love, the path you should take to the future is...

“You’re really too much. Don’t say something like...I’m sorry.”

The eyes that are brighter than the fireworks in the sky overflow with tears, and turn into strength to overcome the mirror blocking our path.

“When it’s only the two of us, I’m just Jonah...and I want to spoil you as much as I like.”]

ASDFKJWEIH;KAFJJE;LSAKFSD

I CAN ALREADY SENSE THE ABSOLUTE ANGST IN THIS ROUTE

IN HIS ORIGINAL ROUTE HE HAS TO ABANDON THE RED ARMY AND NOW IN HIS EVER AFTER HE HAS TO ABANDON HIS FAMILY TOO????? ESPECIALLY AS WE ALL KNOW HOW MUCH THE CRIMSON LINEAGE MEANS TO HIM??????????????????

And something I also really like is how the themes from the original route extends into his sequel, like the parts about “never apologizing” and “I can only be myself when I’m with you.” It just makes it feel more like a sequel and adds a better sense of completion uwu

ALSO JONAH’S TEARS ARE GOING TO DESTROY ME Y’ALL WILL SEE ME SOBBING ON TUMBLR WHEN I GET TO THAT PART

.

Here’s the mini talk list:

Luka + Sirius: please tell me about your families!

This one is already out, so here’s the screenshots!

[Translation:

Sirius: My home is always full of flowers, it’s a place that makes your mood lift.

Luka: Yeah...as opposed to Sirius’s family, mine was very quiet.

Luka: Even though it had always been pretty quiet...but ever since “that person” left home, it became even quieter.

Luka: Maybe it was because my family weren’t interested in me, so that’s why it feels so quiet.

Sirius: Haven’t you ever had experiences of playing noisily with Jonah in your home before?

Luka: No. We’re different from Sirius’s family...but there was only one time.

Luka: When I was young, that person had brought me out secretly before.

Luka: The both of us ran around and played in the secret courtyard that person found...

Luka: Until the skies grew dark.

Sirius: ...Is that so. Where is that courtyard full of memories? Is it close to your home?

Luka: I don’t know, I can’t remember...but, it doesn’t matter if I can’t remember it.

Luka: Now I think...it’s alright if that courtyard only exists in my memory.]

*deep breath*

ALKL;KCVKNCKDSA;KWOIWQOIK;FDMX;LZDS;ALKSJFA;LKJ

AKD;XJCEWQ8RJEIU;ANFVDFJSVVF’WDOIJ

;NWEFFKKGDMZXCKCERTIIUIBRI;JDSFJSMF;JLAEKF;LEQKJBNCM

FIRST OF ALL

A SECRET COURYARD???????? THAT JONAH FOUND?????????????? AND BROUGHT LUKA THERE TO PLAY???????????????????????? BUT ONLY ONCE???????????????????????????????????

I wonder how he managed to find it? But also it was to be expected that he would bring Luka bc he always wants to share what he loves with Luka (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

Also just imagine the little Clemence bros running around and playing (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡ ♡ ♡

But like...

OH MY GOD LUKA WHAT HAVE YOU GONE THROUGH ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

It’s so sadddddddd to think that the Clemence house got even quieter when Jonah left. Also I can’t figure out if Jonah “leaving” means that he left to go to boarding school or if he left to join the Red Army, but that was probably when Luka started to hate Jonah for abandoning him. I can’t imagine what it’s like to grow up in such a quiet and cold place and to have it grow even quieter and colder when the one person you thought cared about you left because now he has other things that are more important than you (/□＼*)・゜

Edgar + Kyle: can love between people of different social statuses exist?

The rest of these aren’t released at the moment I wrote this, so I’m mainly just going to be addressing my predictions!

So it’s clear that Jonah and MC are considered to be from different social ranks, even though MC is “Alice the Second” and has the power to nullify magic. She’s probably considered as a “commoner” in the Red Territory, so I can see why it would be difficult for Jonah and MC to get married.

And you know what else this reminds me of??? If we look at Seth’s route, we finally find out that the whole reason Cradle got divided into two was because a Red noble fell in love with a girl from a different social rank. And that romance tore a country apart, so.

Dean + Dalim: about family

Aight here we go. Are Dean and Dalim really family??? Do we finally get to find out??? Or at least get some sort of clue??? Bc I’m torn between the theory that they’re twins with amnesia or if Dean was some sort of clone created by the Magic Tower when they experimented on Dalim. And I have no idea when their routes are gonna be released, so I really hope we get more hints throughout each Ever After route.

Lancelot: Jonah’s tears

THIS IS THE SECOND MINI TALK THAT WILL DESTROY ME AFTER THE LUKA + SIRIUS ONE.

Also this is a reminder that Lancelot was probably the only one who has seen Jonah at his weakest before MC came along. It’s probably to be expected, since they’ve known each other for literally more than half their lives and also since Lancelot saved Jonah.

And technically Luka has known Jonah for the longest time, but I doubt that Jonah will ever show weakness in front of Luka because he considers himself as Luka’s protector, but it’s different in front of Lance. I feel like he can show his weaker side to Lance, and it just emphasizes how deep the relationship between them is.

SO GET READY FOR THE JONALOT FEELS WHEN THIS ONE COMES OUT.

Jonah: what is your ideal proposal?

OK I feel like this one is either gonna be super romantic or super cheesy. Or both, considering the type of person that Jonah is. But I’m gonna love it no matter what bc 1) Jonah can make even the most embarrassing situations funny and touching and 2) I’m too weak for my mille-feuille boi.

.

The screenshots for the “Peek at Romance” thing is here:

[Translation:

My dear Queen of Hearts, Jonah Clemence.

Jonah: In that party, every heir of the Clemence family will...

Jonah: Publicly introduce his fiancee, receive the acknowledgment and blessing of the whole clan, and finally step into the halls of marriage.

“What is a happy ending?”

--It’s when, the person who cannot be replaced becomes family.

Luka: Even though my brother is troublesome, and sometimes overly enthusiastic, but from now on please take care of him.

--It’s when, you become allies with the person you met.

Levie: Who hurt MC!? I’ll destroy that guy...!

Jonah: Calm down, Levie Castell. See who’s your true enemy clearly!

When he couldn’t provide an answer, it made tears overflow from his eyes.

And--while looking for an answer, it’s also possible to lose something.

Dalim: Thanks. Goodbye, princess.

Dean: I couldn’t ask any of the things I’ve been wondering before he ran...

But even so, we will still advance forward bravely.

This is all to receive the answer--to have a happy ending.

Jonah: From now on, everyone will see you as...

Jonah: The Queen of Heart’s...and also the head of the Clemence family’s wife.

Jonah: But, when there’s no one else, and when it’s just us two.

Jonah: We’ll become Jonah and MC again, and we can love each other as much as we like.

Jonah: I love you, MC.

No matter what happens, he, who is the most beautiful and pure in the world...

Will only accept a future that is even better than a happy ending...!]

I just...literally cannot express my love for this summary.

First of all I’m just gonna talk about the tone. Right off the bat MC calls him “my dear Queen” and it was just. So. CUUUUUUUUUUTE.

Also, the question and theme of “a happy ending” is brought up, and the rest of the sneak peek answers that question (it’s when the people you love become your family and the people you meet becomes your allies), but also explores how they could find those answers (Jonah crying when he couldn’t find an answer and advancing forward bravely because they just want their happy ending). And finally we finish it off with a super Jonah-like statement, announcing that he’ll accept no less than the most perfect ending of them all!

Moving on to the information revealed...it’s pretty cool how there’s a special party for the next head of the Clemence family when they’re ready to announce their marriage and gain approval. Also, it’s kinda wild to think that Jonah will eventually become a head of the family just like his father and his grandfather before that.

AND THE PART WITH LUKA AND LEVIE ARE LITERALLY SO ADORABLE. LIKE, LUKA INSULTING JONAH BUT ALSO LEAVING HIM TO MC AND LEVIE DEFENDING MC FROM PPL WHO WOULD HARM HER IS 10/10 PERFECT

Also it seems that Dean and Dalim’s backstories might be explored more but won’t be resolved just yet. I guess we really do have to wait until their routes get released to find out.

In short, this was an amazing summary of the route. WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER MONTH UNTIL I CAN FINALLY READ THE WHOLE THING???????????????????????????

.

Also FYI, this is all completely new to me. For the other characters’ sequels, I played it through on Ikerev JP bc I can’t wait until the releases in the TW and English version that’s like, a year later. But I didn’t read Jonah’s sequel bc my Japanese isn’t super good and I wanted to read my man’s story in a language that I can completely understand so I literally have no idea of what to expect apart from what I found out in the campaign release :3

Also also I’m probably gonna be posting for every part in the story I’m going through BC I JUST LOVE JONAH THAT MUCH. I guess it would make up for my inactivity this month ^^;

[myjunkisyuzuruhanyu]

I’m also both a yuzu and shoma fan and my heart breaks when I see them being pitted against each other (mostly on twitter). However I do have to say that I see a lot more hate towards shoma (and now even yuma) than i see hate towards yuzu. yes, a lot of yuzu fans get critized a lot. but only his fans, not yuzu himself! And tbh, i understand the criticism. What a lot of them (not all!) are saying about his competitors (especially nathan and shoma) is absolutely vile and disgusting. One can only hope that they never read these things. And they don’t even seem to realize that yuzu himself would be so ashamed if he knew what they are saying. He is one of the most respectful people in this sport and they are not representing his values at all. And no, i do not see that kind of behaviour from any shoma fans (can’t speak for nathan fans, i’m not on that side of twitter). Do they talk about whether they think yuzu was judged fairly in their opinion? Sure. But they would never be mean to him whereas yuzu fans are so so mean to shoma. That’s just my take on the matter.

I am sure no skater is happy about hate being spread in their name. And I do agree with you that some Fanyus are vile and vicious towards Nathan and Shoma, now even Yuma (though I don't read much about Nathan or Yuma so I can't really say) BUT

I have seen enough mean takes on both Yuzu and Shoma. I think the vitriol against Shoma is definitely worse on Twitter than towards Yuzu but only because Yuzu fans are so fast to attack and report. Just because you haven't seen slander directed at Yuzu doesn't mean it's not there. There is even a Japanese forum that resolves around hating Yuzu. I don't make this up. Just some takes: Ppl said Yuzu is faking being a victim of the earthquake. Ppl said his skating is too feminine and gay. Just the quote retweets on the recent mistranslation of the press con where he supposedly said "I am the king of the Olympics" (which he didn't even say) got fans of different skaters riled up as "Yuzu is arrogant" "his contribution to the sport isn't so high" or things like "he is long done" "has nothing to offer to the sport" or a few weeks back one Shoma fan even had "Yuzu is a bully" in her description or a Twt account was just created to claim Yuzu's "4A at JNats was prerotated"...it's not only about Yuzu's fans, who are indeed often over the top and are rightfully called out for it, but there are also many bad takes on his personality and skating. It's good if you haven't seen much of it. I did.

And it actually does not matter to me who they are a fan of. If you hate on Yuzu, you get blocked. If you hate on Shoma, you get blocked. I don't care what other skaters you stan or what positive you contribute to the fandom if you are a hater.

I am mostly in the Shoma fandom on Twitter as there are indeed many toxic Fanyus, but there are also normal fans like me and you and dare I say the majority is not vile. And I try to stick to them, that's when I say my block list does wonders as I personally haven't seen any hate unless it was pointed to me, which I don't need. I was never a person to care for the loudest opinions. If hate gets pointed to me I do sometimes say something, I am not silent on hate, but I don't want to fight the whole day against haters. I say what I want to say and move on.

My thing is not to say which fans are better or worse. I say it as it is - bad apples are everywhere - a hater is a hater and haters aren't imo real fans - I simply don't want to care for the hate from any site. I like to stick to 1st the skating and 2nd to the positive side of things.

I simply see fandom as a save space and fun zone. And yet my fun gets drained from all sites even though I created my save spaces. Let me be happy in my bubble. The world can be on fire.

And one last thing I think skaters like Yuzu and Shoma are aware of the bad sites of the fandom and I don't see why they should spend time reading bad takes on themselves especially in English - a language neither one speaks fluently. I was told the Japanese fandom is much worse though, but it's hearsay so I can't tell...

[jadecringecomp]

jade, of course, is still trying to deflect rather than own up to anything at all. im too lazy for screenshots so youre going to have to deal with text for this one. you can see their post here though. and if receipts are needed they are most likely on the callout blog or you can come to me if you cant find them.

“uses their own dead grandma as leverage out of nowhere literally months after the original argument”

jade are you really that braindead. like youre still just proving my previous point. youre still practically shitting on me for it. i gave a reason as to why that night was so traumatic for me because you keep trying to make it seem “like it wasnt that bad” by your own words!

also like uh, jade. you yourself have used your aunt having cancer as a reason to just... excuse every single action youve done. so again, take that and choke.

“abuses their own bf/ex but its fine because he abused her first lolololol!!!”

jade i... honestly have no words. youre still defending a pedophile, and you even admit he abused me. like, yes, i cheated on him. but how does the fact he is a pedophilic abuser not process through your head. why are you so set on defending that. a genuine question.

“flips back and forth on whether they were actually abused or not whenever it benefits her“

theres... nowhere that even says that in the link you posted. are you posting that to still try and imply i lied about the abuse you inflicted upon me or...?

“refriends their own ‘abuser’”

ok well one jade, you still have no actual proof ive befriended broden at all. all you have is a like on a fucking post. really how braindead is it possible to be at this point.

and regarding bailey, i never called her my abuser. you were the one to do that. you said she abused me after i showed you screenshots of what went down between us. and whats worse after i even came to you and showed you the screenshots and you got involved with that mess?? you still wanna try and say what happened was fake. like you wanna call me two-faced, yet youre so quick to change your mind once you realize that person doesnt benefit you anymore. 

also! for someone whos a survivor of abuse, you sure as hell dont realize a common thing between us survivors is literally going back to those who’ve hurt them right?? like you keep bringing this up as if im fucking lying about the whole thing when im not since again, i came to you while we were friends with the proof. i can even post them if need be. and honestly it doesnt even fucking matter anymore ive broken contact with her after shortly realizing my mistake.

“denies other ppls abuse just because they doesnt like them and a few vent discord messages means they knows literally everything abt it“

i can admit to saying i denied your abuse because there is actual proof that you werent abused two years ago, not because i dont like you. do you really just think nobody will believe proof right in front of them jade??? do you think youre some perfect princess who can do no wrong???? like jade the proof is right @deeancie, @estweri, @honeykeis-callout, and even here. you really expect me to just not believe it if i didnt hate you. you honestly need some real fucking help if thats the case jade.

and really like. if you say your bf clams up when you go to him... what else am i supposed to believe. sure i can be wrong, but reading that shit can really make you wonder what is going on between you two. and jade you wanna say that like you yourself dont do that shit. remember all the times you read vague text posts and would go on a tangent as if you knew every little thing about what was going on in my life. yeah kinda what i thought.

“says grooming minors is talking to people One time“

i love how you fail to leave out the fact that these people were minors and that youre practically defending loli. so if youre still talking to these minors and since youre still defending loli, then yes youre grooming minors into thinking loli is ok.

“straight up let a minor into their porn server on discord (they can go as rabid about this as they want but they still straight up showed an actual minor graphic porn but IM a pedophile bc i rb anime sometimes lmfao)”

again its been resolved. like ive acknowledged it was wrong of me to do and ive changed it. and how can you say you just rb anime sometimes when. you literally are reblogging this kind of fuckshit. like do you not remember reblogging that obviously naked child in a collar or what. the difference is i realized my wrong and changed it while youre still rbing actual loli.

“lied about the relationship (the one where they abused each other and she cheated on him with her other abuser???) having elements of pedophilia because they lied about her age”

this is so... ive told you i forgot. the ages. i was literally an age off for the both of us. like what else do you want me to do about this.

“has sketchy as fuck ocs, including one thats physically ten who would force their adult self insert to be naked around them and also drew them being physically beaten“

while the first was true (but i dont have that oc anymore), where in the fuck did i draw them being physically beaten lole??? are you pulling this out of your ass to deflect you yourself rbing beaten children????

and i swear to god if you bring up this comic, im going to scream.

“is a stalker and an abuser. by their own logic“

ok like. a couple of things to this. jade when are you going to get it through your thick skull i didnt give a shit if you were lurking or not, it was the fact you would comment on my every move. which is stalking by the way and incredibly creepy like get a life!

and an abuser “by my own logic”. the link you shared, again, doesnt show that anywhere. also with how badly of a hypocrite you are, thats you. you told me it was abusive to call people delusional. you started doing that once i realized my wrong and stopped. you told me it was abusive. you told me making people relapse was abusive. yet once i relapse you still didnt give a shit and somehow that makes you in the clear (though i still dont give a shit we both literally did that to ourselves the point is youre an abuser too to your own logic). you said trying to gaslight people is abusive (which it is). look at the stacks of proof i have of you gaslighting me. like i could go on but all the proof if here on this blog.

“oh and dont forget they foamed at the mouth that i didnt instantly know when they changed their pronouns but has been proven to have Actually knowingly misgendered me for weeks“

jade the fact you were lurking should make it fucking obvious you should have known my pronouns. and for weeks?? jade i misgendered you in your callout, which i immediately changed once pointed out. will you please stop lying to make yourself look victim and just tell the truth for once in your life.

“also apparently i can call them rae and its not deadnaming because its not their birthname so“

oh my god youre literally fucking braindead it hurts to watch at this point. no rae isnt my deadname. but i do prefer not going my that. the whole point of that was that you tried screaming transphobia because someone called you by a previous name you went by. you fucking dumbass.

“claims to have bpd but doesnt even know what cluster b is holy shit!!!“

what do i even say to this jade?? what does the fact i didnt know what that was at first matter to me having bpd??? also are you just gonna shrug off the fact that you first claimed you got misdiagnosed with autsim, then suddenly you do? you claimed to have bipolar disorder, then later you suddenly decide you have bpd??? kind of sketchy if you ask me!

“tries to send anons under my name but forgot that their friend levi doesnt even have me blocked so why the fuck would i go on anon if i would ‘sign’ it anyway hm“

a....... are you implying i was the one to send those....? is it because you realized once you did so it backfired?? jade for someone who wanted to claim i was the one making up conspiracies, you sure make up a lot of them.

in conclusion: jade you still are just deflecting! you still havent defended any of the shit me or my friends have called you out for! the fact you still havent admitted to them or so much as even defended the claims sure does speak a lot! stop deflecting and lying and just fucking come out about it!

[cassolotl]

so I thought I was arguing with a protective admin about a "you *could* be making ppl uncomfortable" thing with emphasis on could? nothing about it said "boundary". the way I tell protective admins and boundaries apart is that ppl with boundaries are very clear about them while protective admins are all about "could" and "might". ps: telling ppl you're gonna block them is abusive/guilt-trippy af, [insert suitable insult here].

So I’m guessing you’re SoniEx2, since you’re a person I blocked recently and you speak about “telling people you’re going to block them is guilt-tripping”?

~

so I thought I was arguing with a protective admin about a “you *could* be making ppl uncomfortable” thing with emphasis on could? nothing about it said “boundary”. the way I tell protective admins and boundaries apart is that ppl with boundaries are very clear about them while protective admins are all about “could” and “might”.

To be clear here, I’m not the admin of the group you were banned from, and when you came to me to contest the ban I made that clear. I didn’t use any words like “could” or “might” when explaining why you were banned - so I’m not really sure what you mean or whether you’re talking to the right person here.

However, if I’ve untangled what you’ve said correctly… This is a load of bollocks. Lots of people set boundaries with “soft” words like “could/might”, and lots of people set boundaries with very firm words like “this is not acceptable” or “stop doing this, it is harmful”. In either case, the tone and meaning are very clear - “I don’t like this” - and you should take what they’re saying on board and back off. The idea you propose, that words like "you could/might do harm” are not clear, is disingenuous. It’s used as an excuse by manipulative and controlling people to avoid consequences to their boundary-violating actions.

You say in your next post above that you don’t know when people are hurt by your behaviour unless they say the word “stop”. Actually several people in the group that you were banned from did literally use the word “stop”, and the admin politely told you to stop participating, but you refused to drop it because you didn’t understand why you were bothering people and you thought they were wrong/mistaken about your meaning. You understood that you were making people uncomfortable but you refused to drop it because your feelings were more important than theirs.

As an autistic person you have a responsibility to learn as best you can to see when you’re making people uncomfortable and to stop when that happens; being autistic is not an excuse for behaving badly like this, and it’s definitely not a way to get unbanned from a group. Harmful behaviour is harmful whether you’re autistic or not. When someone says “I’m autistic so I can’t tell when someone wants me to stop unless they literally say STOP,” that is a big red flag for me. It means “run a mile, I’m not willing to learn how to respect your boundaries; I will just blame it on my autism.”

What did you think, that if you argued with me enough I’d put in a good word with the admin and get you re-added to the group? Really?

~

telling ppl you’re gonna block them is abusive/guilt-trippy af

Guilt-tripping is usually a manipulative tactic, which means when it’s done it’s trying to get someone to behave in a particular way, it’s used to control. It’s used by someone who wants to continue a controlling relationship. They care how you feel and they want you to feel bad.

I don’t care how you feel, and I don’t want to continue to have a relationship with you, on anyone’s terms. I’ll clarify my motives though.

When someone blocks you on Telegram, Telegram is deliberately ambiguous about the whole thing. Their avatar disappears and Telegram behaves like they’ve not logged in for a very long time. Any messages you send aren’t received by the blocker, and to you it looks like they arrived but haven’t yet been read.

Because of this, sometimes when I’ve blocked someone they’ve thought I just stopped using Telegram, and they’ve tried to connect with me on other social networks instead.

When I told you I was blocking you, I didn’t want to control you, make you feel a particular way, push you into a particular action. I honestly thought I was just setting a very clear boundary instead of letting Telegram confuse you. I thought that by telling you outright I was ensuring that you knew that I didn’t want anything to do with you, and that it might discourage you from trying to connect with me in other ways.

The way you’ve behaved towards me, however, seems very manipulative. The fact that you’re still trying to complain to me about this, and using anonymous Tumblr messages to complain about being blocked because I’ve blocked you in every other way, is a really, really shitty thing to do, Soni.

Sending someone anonymous messages like this on Tumblr is prime manipulation behaviour, because it’s not possible to privately reply to an anonymous message on Tumblr and the only way to prevent anonymous messages like yours is to turn off anonymous messaging altogether - something a person might not want to do just to block one person. This is all about you having control and gaining the upper hand.

If they choose to not respond because they don’t want toxic trash on their blog, you’ve won because you have the last word and catharsis at someone else’s expense.

If they respond publicly, you’ve won because you’ve forced them into responding on your terms, putting their reputation and blog on the line in a vulnerable and risky way just to stand up for themselves.

A NOTE ON BLOCKING ANONS (for folks wondering about that)

It is possible to block an individual anonymous person without turning off anonymous messaging. From this help page that is only two days old:

Note that if you got an anonymous ask, it isn’t associated with any particular account, which means you can’t really block the person that sent it. So what you’re doing when you click or tap those three dots and hit “Block” on an anonymous ask, is blocking the IP address the ask came from. Any further anonymous asks sent from that address will never see the inside of your ask box. FYI: There’s no way to unblock an anonymous IP address. Additionally, the person sending unwanted anonymous asks could still send you anonymous asks from another IP address. If you’re receiving these anonymous asks from multiple IP addresses, you can disable anonymous asks or even disable the ask feature entirely in your blog settings.

~

[insert suitable insult here].

I particularly enjoy “Knobby McKnobberson” so feel free to use that!

~

Edit: Soni has sent me several anonymous messages since I made this post, ignoring all my points and complaining that I done them wrong. Soni, STOP.

Edit again: Soni sent more messages claiming that the messages that had come before were not from Soni, including this one I’m replying to now. Run a mile, folks.