#yknow? idk if im making any sense
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skiploomz · 2 years ago
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i dont want this to come across as mean or to be as some sort of example as to why being trans is bad. but i think a lot of the time when i see ppl talk abt having gender envy its not in a very constructive way.
Like ofc lots of us have dysphoria and dysmorphia,, but i just want to point out that theres not a lot of difference between trans ppl looking at skinny androgynous ppl and saying "i wish i had that gender" and the stereotype of a teenager looking at a magazine going "i wish i had that body".
A lot of the time the things i see ppl say they want the gender of are like. Just normal ppl wearing a shirt and jeans lol. But the appeal is to have their body. And i get that. I also feel like that. But i dont know how constructive it is to look at ppl and go i want to be like them instead of like me when the "like them" things are things you cant really change.
Im not saying seeing someone with a cool aesthetic and wanting that aesthetic is problematic. Im not saying anything is problematic at all ! Im just saying as a kinda chunky trans man myself that looking at skinny tall cis men and constantly going "i WISH i had what they have :(" isnt good for me and i dont think its good for a lot of other ppl too.
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girlmetalsonic · 11 months ago
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something that is like the baseline of amys entire character to me is that shes lonely. shes clingy and physically affectionate in a way none of her friends really are, shes always getting pushed aside and left behind. yeah, she helps out people she doesnt know because shes a nice person, but also, she sees part of herself in them. she wont leave someone else behind because she knows the feeling —and more importantly, hates the feeling. if she doesnt have somebody to stand by her and be there for her, then shes going to be that person for everybody else. something something her obsession with sonic is really just like a manifestation of that desire for closeness with someone, and she thinks that romance is the only way to get that. idk... this hedgehog can have so many abandonment issues.
#me posts#amy rose#sth#sonic the hedgehog#and this is not to say at all that romance is the only way to have 'real' love or anything#just that yknow part of her breaking free of that would also be realizing that she just wants closeness with someone and it doesnt-#-have to be romantic#aroace amy could fit this i suppose and she just doesnt know it yknow. thats not my hc but i support their beliefs if that makes sense#she wants to be loved and she wants to love and she doesnt really get a big outlet for that so she shares it with everyone she sees#also i didnt wanna jam up the post but GAMMA!! this is partially abt gamma she helps him find out how to love and how to find joy in it-#-bc its what she wants for herself. she sees him and sees how completely alone he is and she wants to help him. idk idk something something#-when she was locked in the cell she saw part of herself staring back at her#gamma parallels to amy is SLEPT ON i stg i could make a whole other post about it#idk.. whenever im writing amy or just thinking abt how shed interact with others its always from the lens that she craves closeness with-#-others. she wants people to just stay for once.#does this make any sense. idk man im rambling here#my worst nightmare is characterizing her wrong its such a fine line and sometimes the words do not come out of my brain right#btw this is NOT me dissing amy i love amy. she is like top three favorite character.#important context: im typing this with amy firefox theme rn ok. ok im an amy fan.#she points at the minimize button like shes telling me to log off#jesus christ i just scrolled back up i love to put a whole other post in the notes dont i
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volivolition · 3 months ago
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prepping for my Bonus Days. i love tutorial agent lmao
#chemi chats#yknow. last year's ''take sundays off'' made a lot of sense.#october 2023 was PERFECT for skilltober as it was a full four weeks (so six days for each skill type per week plus a day off)#and left two days at the end - the 30th and 31 - for Ancient Reptilian and Limbic. so it worked out really evenly!!#using the same method in 2024 does not yield the same clean results hjkjg it looks. so fucking messy gang hgkjg#but generally you can take any 5 days off? it would make sense to split it at the first any five days in a row.#like how we had five sundays last year. so like if we had five mondays this month we'd do free days on mondays right?#but this months was tuesdays and we all STARTED on tuesday SO LIKE HGKJG OKAY MAN. NOW WHAT HGKJ#i want to be posting the same skills as everyone else everyday but that's a bit much to ask yknow? syncing up is fun but its HARD man hgkjg#the reason why im talking about this is because im NOT taking the free days hgkjg or maybe i'll take one who knows lmao hgkj#but my ''free'' days are: Tutorial Agent with the INTs. Solace with the PSYs. Volta Do Mar with the FYSs. Kinetic Dressage with the MOTs.#and maybe Vices thrown in there? i might make Vices physique and put Volta with the psyches? and make Solace a little bonus end?#because i love her and shes special hgkj but i guess i'll see hkjf but EITHER WAY im gonna be posting on whenever free days are hgkj#so if everyone takes sundays+halloween off (except me because im Fucking Entrenched In This Shit) then thats when i'll post#(even though it'd be messy as hell like. splitting up the skill types hkjg??) maybe it'd make sense to do mondays+halloween so we can#finish a skill type section before taking a break/doing my bonus skills? and it'd even out but that requires coordination hgkjsk#sigh. or for me to accept that we'll all eventually fall out of sync and thats fine hgkj (<- I can be fine with this. It's just messy hkjg)#oh idk :P im gonna take my ''break''/bonus days on mondays+halloween and whatever happens happens <33#(<- assuming im gonna be able to finish a monthly challenge lmaooo) okay ive got a headache lmao goodnight i love you all as always <33
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windupaidoneus · 2 months ago
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hmm. well i still cant really do promo posts can i. blinks. having no carrd or anything of the sort is freeing bc i dont have to worry abt too little or too much informstion but without one ppl will also probably assume im a freak or something bc i dont have info that says im not a freak readily available. i dont think my beahtiful windupaidoneus dot straw dot page will suffice
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honorary-fool · 4 months ago
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love when hyperfixations make you question cosplans 🥴
It's the same media but a different person. Like i was so dead-set on Robin but because I've seen so many Argenti cosplays recently I wanna do him now.
Not even trying to make his armor just like. A pseudo closet cosplay w/ the Nameless Bard shirt, my black boots, an old rose prop I have.. and then figure out the pants, corset belt, and wig styling.
But there's still Robin,, and I literally Just bought a yard of lace fabric to make her blouse (this is my reference) 💔
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angelmichelangelo · 1 year ago
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if 2012 splinter had a premonition on how he was going to die, do you think there was a reason as to why he took raph and april with him up on that rooftop? because like. in the perspective of the show, it's always been leo that has those big emotional moments with splinter. you'd think the writers would have put leo up on that rooftop instead of raph but. yeah. i wonder if there was ever any reason for that
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bcneheaded · 19 days ago
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I'm gonna give people like two to three months and if they don't interact I'm gonna start softblocking,, nodnod
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dahldahlbills · 10 months ago
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I really need to get serious about personal projects again
#I think I said something like this last year too lol#currently in a weird headspace about it#the biggest reason why I lost focus on them was bc I prioritized engaging in fandom#(something that I never really did when I was focused on publishing a few years back)#so part of me feels like in order to make considerable progress on projects again I need to cut myself off from fandom#and I kinda have been weening myself off a bit from animanga but not really for that reason#it was mostly bc I was getting overwhelmed by how much I was consuming and I wanted to appreciate things fully#I don’t think I’d cut myself off from fandom completely either I’d still try to keep up with stuff#but the idea of not engaging in fandom anymore kinda.. scares me?#idk I feel like a major loser admitting this lol#it just feels like I’d lose a lot of connections with people#and would lose a lot of the love I have for stories if I’m not actively interacting with them :(#and then there’s also that stupid feeling of being a ‘fake fan’ because I’m not dedicating every single second of free time to fandom#which is dumb bc like I have a life and need to make money yknow I got things to do#im just Stressed bc I’m at such a critical stage career wise and im getting closer to 26 so hhhhh healthcare coverage will be up in the air#so I really can’t afford to dawdle#there’s just so much I wanna do and while I’m not necessarily racing to get it done I still want to take advantage of the time I have#but it also sucks feeling like I’m giving up a part of myself to progress on another part of myself#I don’t think any of this makes sense sorry I just needed to dump my thoughts bc I am Terrified™️#anyway personal projects! gotta get back to those !#blahblahbills#delete later
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saltycharacters · 1 year ago
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Watched Nimona recently and although it was a fairly enjoyable film and I would still recommend a watch. I got a bunch of thoughts about its ending and themes and how despite it trying to build itself up as this cool queer anticop story it fails to stick the landing and instead suffers from Treasure Planet syndrome. I've decided to ramble it out under the keep reading link so spoilers for Nimona starts there
So this movie is built upon a "knight system" which is established to be an obvious cop parallel, where the knights are essentially the police of this world. The allegory doesn't stop at the job description however, as the movie takes a bold move and introduces this system as very corrupt early on; from the main character being framed by a high-ranking, police-adjacent authority, to revealing that the entire system was built on false hatred and intolerance, to Nimona outright stating that it doesn't end at the true perpetrator, but that "the WHOLE system is corrupt". Time and time again we are given proof of how the knights, whether purposefully or not, hurt, indoctrinate, and brainwash the innocent. This is a great message, and they did an excellent job of carrying it throughout the runtime until doing a sudden 180 at the end. Not only do we see the cop system still in place, with knights in universe portrayed clearly on screen, but they're painted as good with a member playing soccer with a child. They tried to reject corruption by denouncing their founder, yet they still intend to perpetuate the job built to maintain her ideals from the ground up.
Despite attempting to dive into more meaningful territory with a daring dive into a serious modern problem, the ending they gave us was palatable and conveniently perfect in a way that satisfies everyone on a shallow level, which only works with a message that's equally shallow and inoffensive. This sort of trying to have cake and eat it too conclusion is what I refer to when saying Treasure Planet syndrome, as watching the movie gave me deja vu for the same faults- because, while Treasure Planet attempts to weave a unique and subversive narrative that touches upon deeper subjects which would lead up to an unconventional yet impactful end, what they finished with was jarringly standard hogwash where they attempted to tie lose ends in a conventionally pretty, corporate-ceo approved bow. For example, one of if not the main plot of the movie was Jim Hawkins addressing his trauma regarding an absent father that abandoned him and his mom at an early age, finding a better father figure in John Silver and gradually healing from his past with a better role model. Yet at the end, the cycle repeats itself as John ends up leaving (just like Jim's father) with narry a negative emotion from Jim. Jim then goes to cop academy where, despite his journey being about rejecting societal expectations and gaining self-improvement and growth through his own means, he becomes an A-Plus goody-two shoes cop loving poster boy in no time. The syndrome also hits particularly hard with Captain Amelia and Doctor Doppler, where despite their relationship being a man and woman, it still openly rejects heteronormativity with natural romantic progression (no love at first site bullshit) that involves Amelia being way more masculine and competent than Doppler and him being the well meaning yet gullible scientist. Even the way they flirt is subversive, with Amelia calling Doppler's eyes beautiful (a traditionally feminine descriptor) rather than the instigation being made by the man. Yet at the end, heteronormativity hits as Doppler is shown suddenly more assertive and masculine as he dips Amelia in a dance, not to mention their children fall into the trop of the girls looking exactly like the mother and the boy looking exactly like the father (Also. they put a bunch of makeup on the baby girls????). In short, Treasure Planet Syndrome is writing a subversive plot/story that ends abruptly in a palatable perfect way that sacrifices both natural progression and its messages in an effort to create a more appealing happy end. A movie that I think actually LANDED its subversive storyline was Strange World, where it successfully carried through with it's deeper narrative and provided a slightly uncomfortable yet incredibly understandable and meaningful ending.
One last thing before I stop my ramble- the queer rep in Nimona is pretty bad. I mean don't get me wrong, the main character (who is canonically mlm) is fine and I'm always happy to see upfront representation in my media, but the man he was saddle with as his boyfriend treats him terribly throughout most of the movie, to the point where I was genuinely shocked seeing them together at the end. His boyfriend is this nepotism golden child who's beloved by everyone and so neck deep in the corrupt system that he: slices off the mc's arm (just says a vague sorry later), spends most of the movie refusing to trust or believe him, spends most of the movie trying to hunt him down and arrest him, easily succumbs to peer pressure when it comes down to hurting him, prefers to stay loyal to the system rather than his bf, barely questions the situation, and refuses to listen to his bf provide him with explanations or answers. Even the MC recognizes how much he hurt him, because he ends up outright BREAKING UP WITH HIM and begging him to leave him alone, only to get back with him at the end like nothing ever happened. I want a happy ending for canon queer couples as much as the next guy, but if they wanted a happy end, why did the write the love interest to be so awful? They could've made him question the motives of his superiors and the entire situation more, he could've gone out of his way to seek out an explanation before forming his own conclusion, he could've made more attempts to break the rules for harm reduction, to try and understand what happened, hell to try and TALK to the MC- it's really baffling how they tried to paint this as true love when what should've happened is the MC getting a better spouse. I see this as an extension of Treasure Planet syndrome and trying to have and eat cake at the same time mentality, to say I wasn't surprised when I discovered this movie was written by the people behind modern She-Ra would be an understatement.
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skitskatdacat63 · 3 months ago
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I need someone to do a study on how younger people on tiktok have circled around into being like grumpy old people. I.e. the whole "puriteen" thing but you also see kids shitting on other people for their interests, ex commenting on someone's vid abt getting a tattoo of their interest, "you're going to regret that when you're older" ???? Is it not the job of your grandparents to say that type of thing?? 😭 sometimes I feel like I act like an old person, but then I see teens on tiktok and even I'm taken aback
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meowchela · 7 months ago
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tangentially related to the topic of cis people and gender from that last post i just want to say. am i the only one who finds it annoying when i see people who see others stepping out of gender boundaries even slightly and then immediately calling them trans? and im not talking about trans headcannons made for comfort those are fine and good, i mean people who take any slight sign of gender non-conformity and immediately equate it to being binary trans. like people who called finnster an egg before they came out or make snide comments about waiting for a realization when someone of one gender talks about having/wanting experiences of another. like idk it just bothers me when people try to predict the lives of people they dont know
gender is a very personal thing whether you're cis, trans, or somewhere in between and it's way more complicated than a simple glimpse into someones life will tell you. there's so many different ways to identify and so many different ways to present, and those things arent always connected! so i feel like it's really shitty to act like you know someones identity more than they do because their presentation and public identity don't line up
i also kinda hate all those comments that are like "if youre cis you wont be for long" or "only trans people know about xyz so if you arent trans and know about it i have news for you" and stuff, theyre in the same vein as the whole "predicting strangers gender" thing to me just in a more abstract way that i can't articulate as well. i get that theyre meant as jokes but they still rub me the wrong way for some reason
like theres so many ways to be trans. theres so many ways to identify and present under that umbrella, AND theres so many ways to play with gender while not being trans! crossdressers! butches! drag queens! people who dip their toes in a few things stereotyped to be for the "other" gender and being perfectly comfortable otherwise!! sometimes these things can overlap and sometimes they dont, it all depends on the individual and i'm kinda just tired of people flattening any gender nonconformity to just "being trans" when the full queer experience is broader than that and there's terminology to reflect that
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whumpshaped · 1 year ago
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HOLY COW YOUR BIBLE POSTS
I’ve been Christian for 15 years and I never thought about the prophets as whumpees. I am enraptured by this take on the Bible.
Also, have you gotten to Jezebel yet? Her death is *chef’s kiss*
JEZEBEL IS ANOTHER FAVOURITE OF MINE YES. not as in omg i love her but as in wow amazing story. for anyone who doesnt know jezebel was prophesised to die and have her body be eaten by dogs so that she would never be buried. and thats exactly what happened. very very whumpy. and u know what? im not mad abt it at all bc she wanted to hurt my dear dear elijah... no one hurts my dear dear elijah.
im glad u like my bible posting :) ive been told my comments and opinions r... very fresh. a new perspective /j the thing is- yes im reading the bible but im also super super cynical abt it and i also have "must project onto the characters and must read it like its a YA novel" disease. like bc of my bad experience w religion i went into it Wanting to poke holes in it lol but the more i read the more i understand how it works. and the more i understand that most of the Bad Bible Things ive heard growing up were either completely taken out of context or straight up lies. its a little comforting ngl
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gaymothman · 6 months ago
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i think the weird thing about transness, at least for me, is that i was a girl and i always kinda will be in a philosophical sense. I'll always relate to girls and girlhood and women but from such a nostalgic or circumstantial place, not because i actually identify as one. i still kinda think of myself as a "girl" a lot of the time however much of a "trans man" i am. i'm also like insanely fem but not in a womanly way, very much in a faggot kind of a way that is *strangely* not widely accepted or appreciated by cis gays OR trans men. I either see pre transitioned dudes intentionally looking like "a woman" or post T mascs that occasionally sport makeup or smthn. it's very rare to see post T guys that look like me (not super twinkish, soft, or clockably womanly looking anymore) that are still high fem. And i think this comes down to the patriarchy in gay male culture. fem/bottom/fag discrimination is still like A Thing and it causes this weird segregation of Fem Not!Men and then Gay *Men* that leaves absolutely no place for trans people that look out of place within those gender roled boxes.
cis gays operate in a world deeply entrenched by gender binaries still. it can be so strange to feel out of place as a gay fairy faghot in gay male spaces as a gay trans male specifically because i don't look feminine enough *in the right way* as a gay man due to the way my body changed with my transition.
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meatriarchived · 1 year ago
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me crawling out of bed to type this and disappear back to my cocoon right after but-specifically looking at the hewitts since granted i know more on the remakes than the others but,
the hewitts only got vague, limited police action looking into them in '03 after erin chops thomas' arm off and gets away. and even though theres' coverage of it and everything, that literally ONLY happens after 4-5 straight years of the hewitts doing what they do, from 69-73 in terms of solely the remake timeline.
that's still a shitton of time to be ACTIVELY killing people to y'know. not fucking die yourselves. then combine that with the sawyers - their additional family members, their own trails of ruthlessness added into the mix, and this entire combined family unit likely has kill counts all around in the hundreds if not even way past that.
but even with the police involvement in the remakes?
its all SO SLOPPY, its hardly conducted with any real CARE about their own well-beings. like??? ya'll went into that house while THOMAS was STILL THERE... didnt even SECURE THE HOUSE.....
and even with the found footage? no arrests, presumably. the remaining hewitts are still at large, thomas is still at large. like... all ya'll did was corral them to their fucking confusing ass tunnel system and made luda (if we count the comics) far more involved and ruthless in the actual killings than she was in the movies lol
and yes technically speaking with charlie's death that could sever the stronghold they've got on the police and sheriffs' around them - but at the same time - how bad would it look of them to SUDDENLY flip a switch and try to unpack the years worth of missing persons, cold cases, murders, kidnappings, break-ins, assaults, etc etc that they swept under the rug? that's WAY too much man power, esp for back then. no one is gonna do that shit.
so. i truly dont think they have much to worry about even in the event of charlie dying - because the fear and influence they've instilled stands for law enforcement to continue to do fuck all - to save and cover their own asses.
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#its incredibly tragic because like. its so OBVIOUS something GOD AWFUL happened to this group of kids? theyre literally needing some rough#medical attention yknow. its so fucking clear they went through something BAD. and yet? crickets. theyre shrugged off. dismissed.#given the cold shoulder. told their friend(s) simply ran away. told they mustve been high or on something and cant recall clearly.#even between maria going missing to pre-basement brawl its like. NO ONES taking them seriously. everyone in towns they search in dismiss#them. no ones seen or heard anything. LEO's are just. useless and rude and telling them not to interfere. telling to go home. telling them#to let them handle things when it becomes VERY obvious they just dont give a shit - that theyre avoiding certain locations#like yes i moved maria's timeline of being missing up but like - even while the searches were still considered active? there was barely any#movement or care or concern or manpower that the depts were gathering or investigating. like. how does someone vanish into thin air?#like they tried to imply maria must've - at some point? they were so out of their league so roadblocked so dismissed every step of the way.#like. maria and lee and danny etc in their dire aus its all just... its so tragic.#maria with the attempt of a search and youre nearly found!!!....and then youre told your friends all left...and they never came remotely#close to where youre kept to find you. lee with sacrificing himself hoping it gives the rest of them a chance to get away - that someone#lives in order to rain down hell on the family in the sense of justice and yet. not a word is said over broadcasts about him - at least pos#nothing substantial. no search. no missing persons report. nothing. and then danny? my dan the man? the guy with little family ties?#my guy with a strained relationship with his father? whose only friends are again in the situation of 'no one believes us'?#you think theres even a PEEP about him whatsoever? in any capacity? my guy would be lost to the ether - literally. NO ONE but the#friends would ever give a shit if he went missing.#does this make any sense idk im half asleep still but yknow-#i see kels' post and my brain short-circuited on this- BFKHD#[ 𝟎𝟎 ] ── * 𝐎𝐎𝐂. { renee. }
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seithr · 1 year ago
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rl chatterin in tags, dont worry about it just feel like talking about recent stuff. for those who dont care look at this birdthang i won on xiv then. my silly big bird..
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chisatowo · 2 years ago
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Watching videos essays abt political stuff is fun except for the fact that it's abt real life and it's not fun
#rat rambles#^ just finished a video essay abt trans stuff and is having a Moment™#Im ok just kinda emotional#and filled with rage abt everything ever but yknow when am I not#I rlyyy need to see if theres any lgbtq originisatons in my area#if theres one close enough maybe I could start vollenteering? idk#Im just anxious abt not being considered queer enough yknow the usual sorts dhndhdjhdjd#but honestly its more so abt my lesbianism since I have a very complicated relationship with ulit#like it makes me feel like if I bring up my acearo identity it makes my lesbianism less ~real~ somehow#like idk I wanna meet other queer ppl irl and I want more queer friends and I wanna be able to experiment with stuff#but idk why Im so scared abt the idea of having to explain myself#I know ppl probably wont care but ig Im just scared that if other queer ppl reject me then Ill have nowhere to go#or maybe itd go great and I could get a girlfriend like fuck man thats the problem xhdkgsksh#it could be the best thing thats ever happened to me but Im so anxious abt trying#Ive been so lonely and fuck man I dont trust myself to not let myself get trampled#sorry this got real personal real fast dhdkgdkdh again Im ok just emotional#now that I brought up the girlfriend thing tho I am going to be having gay thoughts while I shower so oops dhkdhkdh#idk Im still so unsure abt how I feel abt dating no romantic attraction asside like#again Ive never been able to experiment? and I also just dont know if theres anyone Id be willing to date in practice#like it might just be lonliness but it also could be me forming a stronger sense of self and better existing outside of relationships#and as such feeling more comfortable abt the idea of having more deep relationships with ppl even outside of dating and such#but again its all theoretical rn 😔#anyways I need to shower bro its so late#rat vents
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