#its incredibly tragic because like. its so OBVIOUS something GOD AWFUL happened to this group of kids? theyre literally needing some rough

[meatriarch]

specifically looking at the hewitts since granted i know more on the remakes than the others but,

the hewitts only got vague, limited police action looking into them in '03 after erin chops thomas' arm off and gets away. and even though theres' coverage of it and everything, that literally ONLY happens after 4-5 straight years of the hewitts doing what they do, from 69-73 in terms of solely the remake timeline.

that's still a shitton of time to be ACTIVELY killing people to y'know. not fucking die yourselves. then combine that with the sawyers - their additional family members, their own trails of ruthlessness added into the mix, and this entire combined family unit likely has kill counts all around in the hundreds if not even way past that.

but even with the police involvement in the remakes?

its all SO SLOPPY, its hardly conducted with any real CARE about their own well-beings. like??? ya'll went into that house while THOMAS was STILL THERE... didnt even SECURE THE HOUSE.....

and even with the found footage? no arrests, presumably. the remaining hewitts are still at large, thomas is still at large. like... all ya'll did was corral them to their fucking confusing ass tunnel system and made luda (if we count the comics) far more involved and ruthless in the actual killings than she was in the movies lol

and yes technically speaking with charlie's death that could sever the stronghold they've got on the police and sheriffs' around them - but at the same time - how bad would it look of them to SUDDENLY flip a switch and try to unpack the years worth of missing persons, cold cases, murders, kidnappings, break-ins, assaults, etc etc that they swept under the rug? that's WAY too much man power, esp for back then. no one is gonna do that shit.

so. i truly dont think they have much to worry about even in the event of charlie dying - because the fear and influence they've instilled stands for law enforcement to continue to do fuck all - to save and cover their own asses.

[meatriarchived]

me crawling out of bed to type this and disappear back to my cocoon right after but-specifically looking at the hewitts since granted i know more on the remakes than the others but,

the hewitts only got vague, limited police action looking into them in '03 after erin chops thomas' arm off and gets away. and even though theres' coverage of it and everything, that literally ONLY happens after 4-5 straight years of the hewitts doing what they do, from 69-73 in terms of solely the remake timeline.

that's still a shitton of time to be ACTIVELY killing people to y'know. not fucking die yourselves. then combine that with the sawyers - their additional family members, their own trails of ruthlessness added into the mix, and this entire combined family unit likely has kill counts all around in the hundreds if not even way past that.

but even with the police involvement in the remakes?

its all SO SLOPPY, its hardly conducted with any real CARE about their own well-beings. like??? ya'll went into that house while THOMAS was STILL THERE... didnt even SECURE THE HOUSE.....

and even with the found footage? no arrests, presumably. the remaining hewitts are still at large, thomas is still at large. like... all ya'll did was corral them to their fucking confusing ass tunnel system and made luda (if we count the comics) far more involved and ruthless in the actual killings than she was in the movies lol

and yes technically speaking with charlie's death that could sever the stronghold they've got on the police and sheriffs' around them - but at the same time - how bad would it look of them to SUDDENLY flip a switch and try to unpack the years worth of missing persons, cold cases, murders, kidnappings, break-ins, assaults, etc etc that they swept under the rug? that's WAY too much man power, esp for back then. no one is gonna do that shit.

so. i truly dont think they have much to worry about even in the event of charlie dying - because the fear and influence they've instilled stands for law enforcement to continue to do fuck all - to save and cover their own asses.

[eldritch-elrics]

i rewatched the entire ice age series and i have opinions

after rewatching some of the madagascar movies, me and @calocybe​ decided to embark on a quest to watch more animated series from our childhood. an obvious choice was ice age! so, i present to you: finn’s comprehensive ice age opinions masterpost.

read on for an in-depth review of each movie, my opinions on what the series does well (good animation, really fun chase scenes) and what it does not so well (manny is an awful protagonist), and some other things too (like my analysis of queerness in ice age)

first of all, a ranking of the five movies from best to worst:

ice age

dawn of the dinosaurs

collision course

the meltdown

continental drift

first movie

definitely the best

accidental baby acquisition…

it’s just a really good premise. three bros with completely different personalities are forced to work together towards a common goal that doesn’t even benefit any of them personally!

it’s silly and charming and well-written

diego’s arc is especially well-done and it’s easy to follow the way his personality and opinions change

my theory is that they made this movie because they wanted to show off how good they were at animating ice. most of the models and stuff are not very realistically rendered but the ice is honestly pretty impressive

honestly hilarious, has really good visual gags

one of my favorite parts is where they go into the ice cave and find like the ufo and stuff

also the baby does the vulcan hand sign at the ufo which was so subtle and REALLY funny

the ice slide scene. incredible

and then it transitions to the cave painting part with a fantastic depiction of manny’s backstory in a way that’s honestly heart-wrenching??

i wonder if the death of his own family is the cause of his annoying clinginess in later movies, especially with regards to peaches. unfortunately this never comes up again

there are some genuinely emotionally affecting moments in this movie, especially with the humans (when the human woman gives away her baby, when they return the baby to the group) - plus, kudos for conveying all that emotion with no dialogue

this is the only movie where manny’s emotional stuntedness is actually somewhat endearing rather than aggravating

this is also the movie with the most interesting villains - they feel like an especially relevant threat to the protags, and putting diego in with manny and sid creates both good tension and good humor

i wonder why the humans never came back. i think subsequent movies could have benefited from their presence, though i have no idea in what ways. not sure how they would’ve pulled it off but having the baby they rescued in the first movie appear as an adult in a later movie is a plot point that i think would have had the potential to be really powerful

second movie (the meltdown)

pretty underwhelming after the first movie

plot feels disjointed and the climax is weak

i feel like they were trying to go for this sort of found family vs nuclear family / reproductive futurism bent but didn’t entirely succeed and instead made the themes feel muddled. especially after the first movie which was all about rejecting heteronormative standards of family, having manny suddenly go “oop i’m the last mammoth better Reproduce” was a bit jarring

even if he isn’t actually the last mammoth, it feels like the wrong way to start a romance

in general the romance between ellie and manny isn’t very well-done in my opinion.

manny should’ve apologized for getting so offended when ellie freaked out about the pressure to save their species, but instead ellie apologized for “overreacting” for some reason???

number of biblical parallels: a surprising amount??

you’ve got. sid as a jesus figure to the sloth tribe, the ark saving them from the flood, scrat as moses??

the villains in this one were super boring they were just like… evil fish…

ok i’ve said too many mean things about this movie. to atone let me present this opinion: the scene where the vultures sing a parody of “food, glorious food” from oliver completely unprompted is one of the best moments in the series

also the possum brothers are wonderful

third movie (dawn of the dinosaurs)

this was my favorite as a kid!!

it’s still really good

it doesn’t take itself seriously and that’s wonderful. like… dinosaurs? in the ice age? objectively stupid plot. who cares

buck is the best character ever he’s so much fun

buck’s entire thing is also being a VERY cliche kooky adventurer but the way that they play with it and are self-aware about it makes it good

also i legitimately get chills at the scene where he explains his tragic backstory with rudy

god the romance with the female scrat is SO stupid but at least they’re clearly making fun of romantic tropes here

good team-building shenanigans, like the laughing gas sequence

there’s probably something to be said about the ways that family is portrayed in this movie but sorry i’m too busy looking at the scene where they get swallowed by a giant plant and buck has to like cut its veins like he’s diffusing a bomb

also i do need to mention that the scene where they find the carnage of sid’s attempt at feeding vegetables to the dino babies and buck goes off on his whole silly detective-shtick about what must’ve happened (“leaving broccoli… a vegetable!!!”) was my favorite scene in the series as a kid. it’s so wonderfully absurd!

there are a surprising amount of dick jokes in this movie? and by that i mean like 2 but. it’s really funny rewatching this and going “holy shit”

there’s also a joke about a butterfly dude that i’m pretty sure is a trans joke (“i knew that guy as a caterpillar! yknow, before he came out”) so that was also pretty funny

this movie parallels the first 2 by 1. having sid take care of kids and 2. having a group of creatures who copy all of sid’s wacky movements. i don’t have anything more to say i just think that’s funny

buck and rudy are kismeses send tweet

fourth movie (continental drift)

yeah okay this one’s the worst

it takes itself too seriously and that is its downfall

feels tonally off from the other ones

i saw this movie during the height of my hyperfixation on plate tectonics and i remember being very offended at the fact that they made such a mockery of the way it actually worked… :pensive:

(granted, poorly-done science is a cornerstone of ice age, so i can’t really say shit)

anyway this one really felt like a jumble of cliches. the enemies-to-lovers thing with diego! peaches’ teenager problems! manny’s troubles of raising a teenager! all the mean girls! evil pirates! sirens! woooo!

it just didn’t feel all that original and it didn’t play with the tropes like 3 did

what is it in this series with guys not apologizing for their sexism and then getting the girl anyway

also wow. damsels in distress much

sheera’s design is also such a generic “female animal” look

the ape dude was a boring villain and too much of the movie focused on the pirates

okay BUT the sea shanty scene slapped. had some good rhythm and clever lyrics

lewis was good and i’m glad he stayed friends with peaches

the water was well-animated! maybe they made this movie so they could show off how good they were at rendering water

the chipmunk creatures on the island are like knockoff minions/ewoks

in general this movie felt way less funny than the others. less punchy dialogue

fifth movie (collision course)

solidly in the middle of my movie ranking. not as good as 1 or 3, better than 2 and 4

this was my first time seeing this movie! which means that my view of it isn’t colored by nostalgia, and also that i have a lot more to say about it i guess

first of all it’s wild to see how much the animation has progressed… this one was so well-rendered wow

i liked this one a lot more than i expected to! it was a good time, and, like 3, didn’t take itself seriously, which is always great

the whole thing is built off a lot of bullshit science which offends my inner scifi nerd BUT i think they pulled it off quite well

the fact that they got neil degrasse tyson to do voiceovers is just so funny

they’ve firmly established by now that the ice age universe can fully ignore the laws of science when it wants to, especially with regards to scrat and his butterfly-effect influence on the world

okay buckle up because i have a lot to say about scrat actually.

scrat’s ability to influence the universe has been steadily increasing as the series goes on, so it made sense that he would be the catalyst for the apocalypse in this one

and also the catalyst for the creation of the solar system i guess?? which was very stupid. i say that in an endearing way. that beginning scene was super fun & wacky

absolutely brilliant way to bring the ufo from movie 1 back btw

ok so the prophecy tablet thing that buck brings back? he finds it by pressing a button with the outline of an acorn on it and that’s very interesting to me

at that point in the movie i was really invested because i thought that scrat and the protagonists were finally going to be forced to confront each other on the same level. the idea that ice age might finally break its unwritten rule of “the protags can never know scrat as the force of global change that he really is” was legitimately exciting to me, and it seemed appropriate for the last movie in the franchise

unfortunately this did not happen. scrat just keeps doing his silly scrat shenanigans

um anyway let’s talk about some of the other characters!

manny continues to suck. more on this in the “low points as a franchise” section

peaches was actually really good in this one! she’s grown out of her “teenage stereotype” phase and into a character with a believable narrative about growing up and moving out.

her boyfriend is adorable and i was surprised to discover i actually liked their relationship!

sid did not need to be paired off though. neither did diego. what is up with kids’ movies and their shallow heterosexual romances

buck is back and he is fruitier than ever

man i really like buck. he’s so silly and irreverent and flamboyant and it’s like kind of embarrassing to watch sometimes but it’s ok he’s just doing his own thing

the villains were pretty good in this one. i liked how the female dino didn’t have a stereotypically feminine design

on an entirely different topic: let’s talk about the aesthetic direction!

the scifi thing was super fun. like, absolutely wild for a series about the ice age, but whatever. i like scifi

like the whole superpower magnetism shit, especially the scene in the forest? great! especially reminiscent of the climax of the guardians of ga’hoole movie

however the whole dive into the crystal cave environment was a lil tonally dissonant and i think it should have been cut (introduced an entire new world/characters way too late in the plot and didn’t have time to develop them enough, went too far down the rabbit hole of magic healing crystals jokes and all that stuff which didn’t seem to relate to the rest of the story at all, introduced a fun but unnecessary girlfriend for sid, the time could have been better spent making fun of more scifi tropes and developing the villains)

brooke the sloth girl is just miranda from the tempest change my mind also that climax is on a similar level of stupid as that one episode from hoshi no kaabii where they deflect an an entire asteroid using uhhhh cannons i think

but it’s like. whatever. they’ve fucked around with science enough that they deserve this

also i just realized there were no chase scenes in this movie which is so sad??

so there are my thoughts on the individual movies. let’s talk about it as a whole!

high points as a franchise

this series consistently has VERY good chase scenes

just top-tier chase scenes with excellent comedic timing and general pacing

3 is so good because it has a chase as the climax, and that’s what ice age is good at

4 is bad because it doesn’t have a proper chase anywhere!

the animation is really good. by that i mean less like the models are realistic and more that they’re great at conveying emotion and body language through animation

like this is especially true in 1 if you look at the difference between the sort of smooth, not very realistic animation of the humans vs… scrat

like they’ve got the way scrat moves down so well it’s delightful

the movies are, generally, funny

there are good messages about found family, especially in the first couple

low points as a franchise

alright i had a bunch of these written out as universal truths about the series and then 5 actually improved on many of them! so here are some criticisms that apply to the first four movies only:

just… every single female character? they deserve better

too many damsels in distress

all the fat jokes about manny are so unnecessary

the romances are really boring and not very well-written or believable

okay with those out of the way here’s the real biggest issue with the series: manny is an awful protagonist

heterosexual “no fun allowed” man

they keep him sucky so he can have a fresh new character flaw to be worked on in the next movie but that seems like a bad formula for character development, especially how many of his character flaws seem to be related to mistreating the women in his life

the man’s got a major possessiveness issue

he is just the archetypical slightly shitty husband/dad who forgets the anniversary and doesn’t let his daughter see boys and calls women hysterical and yes he does get better at each of the individual problems and he does love his family but that development feels so shallow!

manny is absolutely making AITA posts and getting labeled the asshole

it also feels like he never truly learns from his mistakes. he needs to be learning to apologize properly and most importantly to communicate properly! there’s so little emotional reality to his development and the script always seems to give him the benefit of the doubt when he doesn’t deserve it.

plus, this series is meant for kids and i just don’t think manny is an appropriate or relatable protagonist for that audience?

on a mostly unrelated note, yes i do like the found family themes but when it starts pairing up every single character and implying that all of them are gonna be monogamous het couples and have kids and conform to the nuclear family model. that’s pretty sad

some more random thoughts

my dad once said that ice age fails as a franchise because the premise of the first movie was not strong enough to support sequels. i think i kind of agree - you can see in 2 they’re trying to worldbuild off what little they established in the first movie, and also set up a bigger cast of characters, while still keeping up the “man vs nature” theme that’s such a cornerstone of the series.

i’m not sure they completely succeed. the worldbuilding of ice age isn’t necessarily weak but i do think they could have done more to round out the world and make it feel less like just a prehistoric clone of ours

there’s something about the first movie that makes it feel like a moment suspended in time. we don’t learn very much about the pasts of the characters and they get enough development in one movie that we (or at least i) don’t feel any desperate need to know their futures. it feels complete!

so in all the other movies are working with a set of characters who have ostensibly completed their development. so in each new movie, they need to give the characters more problems. usually this comes from external factors, like new characters. a couple times they do a pretty good job introducing new internal problems for the characters - diego’s quest to get over his fear of water was a pretty good one i thought.

but after a while the main trio just stagnates. diego, once the most compelling character, becomes pretty boring. he doesn’t have anything to do anymore. i’ve already talked about manny - each movie he reverts back into an asshole and it gets old so fast. sid’s a little better; he’s got issues with his family and a desire for a family of his own and all that, but more often than not the conclusions to his arcs are unsatisfying

sid plays the role of the character who’s doomed to never get exactly what he wants, except, like, in a way that’s supposed to be funny. we pity him!

i think he has some archetype parallels with escargon from hoshi no kaabii (why do i keep mentioning hoshi no kaabii) but i am not going into that here oh boy

i feel like i’m juggling a lot in my head right now, but sid’s position as the comedic scapegoat is interesting. i’m sure there’s more to unpack here but i’ve already gone way too deep into this series

there’s also more to unpack when you consider his queercoding hmm

anyway, on that note…

additional thesis: sid the sloth is queer-coded

complicated relationship with family (they hate him and think he’s useless)

lispy voice

cares about “fem” things like children. takes care of kids in both movies 1 and 3. calls himself “mama”

gets pushed into the role of caring for the kid in 1

makes vaguely gay comments at his male friends, like “you have beautiful eyes” to manny

there are literally so many jokes in the first movie like. diego’s “you guys are an odd couple” to manny and sid

that whole part in 4 where he’s trying to kiss the sirens and kisses diego instead and is like “wow romantic”

not interested in the idea of a nuclear/traditional family. see his shenanigans with the dino babies

he is interested in women throughout the series though (bi rights)

5 especially tunes down the queercoding and tunes up the “awkward guy who can’t get girls” angle

so. ice age. is it fun? yes! i definitely enjoyed rewatching the series with my friend. and kids will probably get a kick out of the slapstick and silly dialogue. but if you’re not a kid and looking to (re)watch any of them, i’d probably just stick to the first one.