#yes they have hyperdrives

[niobiumao3]

I realize the the Essential Guide to Warfare, Author's Cut blog posts are maybe not strictly canon, but literally why did Disney make a whole-ass blogpost about 'clone troopers can't be sterilized it makes them worse soldiers'. Why. WHY? Who thought this was good worldbuilding.

They could have just said 'yes they all have a birth control implant, it releases a chemical that prevents gamete production, it lasts N years and is easily replaced/recharged.'

Boom! Done. Nothing about WELL SEE IF WE MAKE THEM STERILE THEY'RE LESS AGGRESSIVE and none of this 'just don't let them near civilians abstinence will fix it'.

<drags hands down face>

Anyways I cannot believe anyone fucking wrote that when implanted time release birth control hormones as a concept is something WE ALREADY HAVE RIGHT NOW IN THIS WORLD extrapolating it into scifi for men IS NOT A RADICAL FUCKING IDEA when we're literally talking about mind control chips and one million clones!!!!!

okay I'm fine. anyways of all the parts of SW canon I have slam dunked into the dumpster that one is at the top.

[threebea]

Have we considered for modern aus Obi-Wan is just high charisma and British and isn't actually the Professor TM archetype. Now don't get me wrong, I Iove University Professor AUs. Never stop making professor Obi-Wan aus, but consider alternative professor Obi-Wan career path.

He's got street smarts, and he's witty, and yes he's smart. He picks up things. He speaks several languages, and can fix a hyperdrive jet engine(?). However, he would be so restless in an academic career.

Modern AU he is a man doing parkour well into his thirties and forties despite his knees. He knows how to fly a plane because an old friend taught him, but he doesn't have a pilot's licence. He has been in drag races but also hates driving because he doesn't feel safe on highways. He didn't graduate highschool because he and Qui-Gon were 'backpacking' (Qui-Gon's words) around the world during his teens but he got his GED eventually it's fine. He dropped out of university but says he went to X University when asked so people just assume he graduated. He was definitely in at least two bands during his early twenties.

When he takes in Anakin he becomes a university professor because it seems like a stable gig. He has no credentials and gets his position through charm, half-truths, and extremely good references. No one bothers to ask to see his degree. Anakin is an illegal immigrant. Obi-Wan probably didn't even have any sort of official custody. He has broken so many laws. He volunteers at temple and is well liked in his community.

He does get Anakin's legal status straightened out eventually (somehow without being arrested), but Anakin doesn't go to actual school until grade nine.

Obi-Wan teaches law. It's always good to know the law when you break it so much.

[vampvore]

What are some earth things clover could introduce Delsi that’ll shock her so bad that it’ll induce labor?

Hm, this one is hard because Delsi isn’t that easily scared…

And plus, I don’t think Clover would ever do anything to harm her.

And on top of that!! Earthlings are really mild. V’rov, on the other hand, live in a world where your girlfriend could be eaten alive in front of you and that would just be a bad Monday. Delsi has seen things that would turn any human’s brain inside out…

For something to shock her, it’d probably have to be something emotionally brutal, like… someone she loves getting put in danger. Like, if she thought Vilka had eaten Blake? She would hate that. That’s her baby daddy in there. You can’t just take away the people she loves, she’ll disintegrate into a literal puddle

(Link) Ask me anything

[saphronethaleph]

“There are… rumours, in the Senate, about Master Kenobi,” Palpatine confided. “Many believe he is not fit for this assignment.”

“Not fit?” Anakin repeated. “Why would anyone think that?”

Palpatine spread his hands slightly. “They say his mind has become fogged by the influence of a certain female Senator.”

Anakin blinked.

“That’s ridiculous,” he said. “Who?”

“No one knows who she is,” Palpatine said, slyly. “Only that she is a Senator.”

“Oh, okay then,” Anakin replied. “It’s complete nonsense.”

Palpatine frowned.

“You seem very certain about that, Anakin,” he noted.

“Yeah, but rumours are usually pretty specific about details like that,” Anakin shrugged. “It’s a rumour in the Senate, right? So it’s a rumour about a Senator, too.”

Palpatine began to object, then paused.

“Well, yes, but not specifically-” he began.

“Are there rumours about a Senator whose judgement has been impaired because she’s sleeping with a Jedi?” Anakin went on. “Because if there is then we just line them up and that explains who it is. Or who it’s supposed to be.”

He frowned, minutely. “My money’s on Mon Mothma, honestly. Or Bail Organa. Are we sure the rumour said female?”

Palpatine raised a hand.

“Well-” he began, but Anakin was already standing up.

“Actually, I’m going to ask someone else about this,” he said. “See you later, Chancellor!”

“Anakin, I’m trying to-” Palpatine said, but he was talking to an empty office.

“Really?” Padme asked, then shook her head. “No, that’s not one I’ve heard.”

“You’re sure it’s not one that’s passed you by?” Anakin asked. “I don’t know how much Senators talk to one another.”

“We do it a lot,” Padme told him dryly. “It’s the main thing we have time to do. Are you sure the rumour said female? Because I’m getting a lot of my information from Bail Organa, and he’d be my first guess.”

“He was my second,” Anakin told his wife. “But, no, Palpatine was sure it was a female senator.”

“Then I’m out of ideas,” Padme said. “I’d have thought Mon Mothma, but she’s happily married to Perrin Fertha and he looks more like Qui-Gon Jinn than Obi-Wan.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Anakin said. “And, honestly, I don’t really believe it myself… he didn’t shack up with Satine even when it would have been a net benefit to the Order and the Galaxy and stuff.”

He frowned. “Unless…”

“Unless?” Padme asked. “That sounds like you’ve had an idea, Ani.”

“What about if the rumour was trying to throw me off?” Anakin asked. “I heard it from the Chancellor, but maybe he has another reason to say it. He is a politician… maybe Obi-Wan is seeing Palpatine, and the female senator bit was to throw me off?”

Padme blinked.

“I’m fairly sure they don’t like one another very much?” she tried.

“That’s just what they want us to think, right?” Anakin asked. “Think about it! That’s actually a way better way to disguise a relationship than what we’ve been doing.”

He glanced at Padme. “What have we been doing to disguise our relationship, actually? I’m sure there’s something.”

“We don’t tell anyone that we’re married?” Padme said. “It’s worked so far.”

“True,” Anakin agreed, relieved. “I’m glad we’re doing something.”

Padme smiled, then her smile turned into a frown. “Now I think about it, I can’t remember a time when Palpatine was interested in women – as a Senator or as a Chancellor. So it’s not immediately wrong… I just can’t think of a time he was interested in men either.”

Anakin looked thoughtful. “I think… I’m trying to think of a time he’s looked at Obi-Wan that way, but the only person I can think of he looked at that way is me…”

Obi-Wan’s commlink rang, and he nearly crashed his starfighter into the raw matter of hyperspace itself.

“What is it?” he asked, picking up the commlink in one hand.

“Master!” Anakin said. “I think Palpatine is just using you to get to me!”

Obi-Wan, who had no context whatsoever, just sort of stared for several seconds.

“What?” he said, then noticed that the nav computer was giving him urgent warnings and yanked back on the hyperdrive lever. His Actis fighter dropped out of hyperspace, and he disengaged from the hyperspace ring with the practised motion of someone who had become very, very good at a thing they fundamentally didn’t like doing very much.

“I thought about how he’s been looking at me,” Anakin explained. “Whatever he’s told you, I don’t think it’s real.”

“Anakin, what are you-” Obi-Wan began, then paused. “Actually… wait.”

“What?” Anakin asked. “You don’t believe me?”

“I am trying to think,” Obi-Wan answered. “And fly a ship, as well. I have a job to do before Cody gets here.”

“All right, Master, I’ll wait,” Anakin said. “But this is important. I don’t want your heart to be broken.”

“My – no, this is important, Anakin,” Obi-Wan replied. “You killed Dooku, correct?”

“This seems completely irrelevant, but yes,” Anakin answered. “Why?”

“I was thinking about something Dooku told me once,” Obi-Wan told Anakin. “He said that Darth Sidious had control of a lot of Senators.”

“Still not seeing the connection, unless you think those Senators have been seducing you,” Anakin replied.

“I think the Chancellor is Sidious,” Obi-Wan declared. “And, Anakin, you’re going to have to tell the Council and get help sorting it out, I am landing in less than two minutes.”

Anakin was silent for several seconds of those less than two minutes.

“If you want to break up with him, Master, you don’t need the whole Jedi Council to do it for you,” he said. “And if you think he’s hideous, why did you start sleeping with him in the first place?”

“Put Padme on the line,” Obi-Wan suggested. “No, wait.”

“Waiting, Master,” Anakin replied.

Obi-Wan took a deep, calming breath.

“Put your wife on the line,” he resumed. “Or, if she’s not there, tell her that I’m fairly sure Chancellor Palpatine is the other Sith we’ve been looking for. And get her to call a vote of no confidence, she’s good at those.”

Satisfied that that would buy him the time he needed, he began making his final landing approach.

It was only a shame he wouldn’t get to see their faces, really. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

[phoenixyfriend]

AU where queen Amidala gets hunted down by a Theed accountant and harangued into explaining the source of funding for this hypderdrive acquisition mentioned in the record of this mission with the Jedi because the expenditure isn't matching and what do you mean you don't know how to go about the reimbursement? Well, either we pay the Jedi to pay the lady, or we pay the lady directly and--yes, this IS as important as rebuilding the city! We get audited! Regularly!

We can't just not pay back the person who technically bought the--no, listen to me.

The kid won the race, yes? The bet that the Jedi made on the race won him his freedom. The winnings from the race, since he's a minor, would have gone to him under the control of his mother, even if it's a bit complicated because it's Hutt Space. His mother was therefore the one to provide the funds for our hyperdrive. From what you are saying, those winnings would have gone towards purchasing her freedom if they hadn't gone towards the hyperdrive, which we own, which means we need to reimburse her somehow. Otherwise it looks like we got money from nowhere--which we arguably did--and then the Republic's auditors, who are here to look over our reconstruction to ensure nobody is skimming from the top on the aid and reparations from the Trade Federation and will include the last several years of our government expenditures in that audit just to be safe, will flag it, and then you, Queen Amidala, will have to explain to the Republic why you basically stole money from a slave.

Oh, it's not stealing? Well, have you paid her back? Was it a tax or legal seizure of property in relation to a crime? No! It's stealing!

Fill out the reimbursement form.

[fridgrave2-0]

I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay with ford being an absolute asshole towards fiddleford and basically abusing him.

first of all, yes, it's not ford's fault that he was manipulated (doubtful tbh) and abused by bill, but that doesn't give him the right to be a jerk who closes his eyes on his friend's deepest traumas. the traumas fiddleford got only because stanford completely ignored his warning and got fidds involved into bunch of shit. like his monster hunting which wasn't even the reason fiddleford went to gravity falls in the first place. he was there to help ford build the portal, not to be a part of ford's anomaly quest. and when fiddleford spoke out against it he was ignored because ford doesn't give a shit about anyone else but himself or his muse. fiddleford got traumatized physically and mentally so deeply that in the need to be able to sleep at night peacefully he completely destroyed his mind to the state that even bill was scared to be in there. and what stanford did? he (the one who couldn't care less about fidds warning him about gremoblin) critiqued fiddleford for using the memory gun and didn't even bother to apologize or say that he's sorry in the journal. god, what am I saying, he didn't even took fiddleford to the hospital after fiddleford feel from the sky through the roof of a fucking barn with a dozen of poisonous quills in his body AND A BROKEN ARM. ford described what happened to fidds in the journal, said he "took him home for a treatment" and the next two paragraphs on the other page is "good news the hyperdrive works" LIKE IS THAT THE ONLY THING YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT THE HELL??? "despite our fortune, I have become worried about my assistant... I myself have survived many monster attacks without trauma, but perhaps F is more sensitive that I realized". no shit sherlock, who would've imagine that seeing your worst nightmares and being poisoned can leave a mark on your mental state. sure it's just fiddleford, he's just overreacting because he's "sensitive"))) /src

ford was ignoring fiddleford's concerns all the fucking time that mcgucket was there with him, he took a superstitious and religious guy with anxiety into the forest with real ass monsters who's no one but ford is used to see. fiddleford was warning stanford about shifty and got kidnapped with his identity stolen by the shapeshifter because ford didn't listen. well, at least this time stanford had bothered to apologize for another traumatic event- ah no, next thing ford said is that when the portal is finished all the traumas fiddleford had been through were "worth it". ford just finds ways to make everything worse

we all know that fiddleford has an addictive personality and that the memory gun is the biggest example of that. what we don't talk enough about is that ford at some point decided that sleeping is for losers, but didn't stop at himself and made fiddleford drink 13 fucking cups of coffee, not allowing him to sleep, what in the future made fiddleford a caffeine addict. ford is not only an overworking idiot who gladly damages his own health, no! he wants fiddleford to be the same and quote "gets frustrated" when fiddleford cares not only about his own, but their both basic needs. fiddleford had to work on the portal, get in the trouble with monsters because of ford, but also babysit this manchild to prevent him collapsing from exhaustion (which is more impossible than building a giant portal into the multiverse)

and here we are, the portal testing. once again (and as always) fiddleford did warned ford about everything. fiddleford was working without breaks for days to make sure if the portal will work, and when he found the flaws, he wrote a whole fucking thesis paper, putting all ford's research into a solid work (not taking even smallest credit even tho he was the one to build the portal. when fiddleford had his own theory in the university, ford helped him to only proof that fidds wasn't going crazy by checking the calculations and ford bothered to take the credit for the whole theory, but fiddleford who was a part and a victim of this monumental theory of weirdness didn't took it because he unlike ford doesn't care only about fame). but what did stanford do? he assumed that fiddleford wanted to steal his fucking fame and backstab him. ford didn't even bother to look at something fiddleford was making for three days without resting to make sure that portal won't hurt anyone in the town and that ford won't end up with empty hand if the portal was indeed a lost cause. stanford coldly dismissed fiddleford like they weren't friends, said that he doesn't really waiting fiddleford for the test of the device that fiddleford did built, and even knowing that the portal was dangerous fiddleford chose to come for the test

and then fiddleford got in the portal and it was the biggest traumatic event for him. it was the breaking point for him from which he couldn't stop using the memory gun. it damaged him so much, that he turned from that bright 30-y.o. man into the familiar to us old man mcgucket in the span of two years. his life was ruined for another 30 years, a half of his life he was a mad lonely guy who lived in the junkyard. the man who could've become someone like steve jobs but much better if only he didn't go to help stanford. his family could've been full, tate could have his father. the incident with the portal was the moment of no return for fiddleford, and what did stanford do?

when fiddleford got sucked in the portal, he thought only about the success of his work, that for fidds it was "a remarkable opportunity to confirm or deny the theory" (which he already did with his pre-test research). he didn't think that it was dangerous on the other side, that the portal wouldn't just disintegrate fidds on atoms. and when stanford saw him speaking in a non-human way, shaking and twitching in shock like fiddleford did after the gremoblin incident, ford decided it was nothing. when fiddleford warned him about the apocalypse because he was in the portal and saw it with his own eyes, ford, as always, didn't listen. he didn't just not care about fidds' condition — he diminished everything fiddleford was feeling and everything he witnessed only because it didn't fit in ford's believes which were based just on bill's words (and for stanford it's not something new to belittle things related to fiddleford. he wasn't taking fidds' dream of creating a portable computer seriously, believing that his weirdness theory was much more important)

and after this, stanford insults fiddleford and his family in the journal. he says that he doesn't regret their partnership (it's not really a partnership if stanford didn't count fiddleford as an equal) and friendship breaking up. "to think I considered him a friend!" I doubt he ever did. stanford doesn't know shit about being a good friend (or even a decent person) to someone who sacrificed everything for him. who did put his life aside to be with ford, who cared enough to stay despite stanford again and again putting him in danger, constantly waving him away and feeling no remorse for that. fiddleford was breaking himself for this guy, he canonically was going through "I am nobody to ford if I don't build stuff for him" (and in the end this is exactly what happened). fiddleford didn't tell ford most of his fears and concerns because he didn't want to bother him. fidds was constantly scared and kept in inside because he wanted to be a "better partner". "if I have an anxiety, I will pop anxiety pills", "I'm gonna get through this". and then he didn't

fiddleford was abused by stanford. he was to stanford that ford was to bill, in some ways even worse. it's fucking wild that fiddleford did forgive ford after 30 years of a neverending madness nightmare with his mind being destroyed so much as like it was the earth in the times of the dinosaurs after being hit by the meteorite. fiddleford had lost literally everything, he wasn't even himself for a half of his life and still fidds found the strength to forgive someone who is responsible for it and who used him with regular emotional neglect. and you know what? fuck this. ford would never forgive bill and fiddleford had every right to stay mad at stanford. ford needed to be stuck in the portal to get his head out of the ass and by that time there were only crumbs of someone who fiddleford once was

fiddauthor and billford both are about abuse and toxic relationships. it's up to you what you like to ship, but we need to acknowledge the fact that fiddauthor isn't some fluffy healthy thing where both are happy. fiddleford was never happy and stanford didn't care about fiddleford and his feelings. they made each other worse and ford ruined fidds' life. THIS is the real fiddauthor

[evilminji]

OKAY, FIRST? Like the Picture Says...

So!

Here I was, sittin', thinkin', pondering my thoughts. Thing to myself? "How could one? Presumably female, much like myself, Jedi repopul-" and THAT is when my brain, worn and weary, from years of The Internet? SLAMMED its fucking pint down on the bar counter, turned to me with an ugly scowl and sneered?

"You KNOW fucking how. Don't be coy."

( O.O) w-well alright then, brain. Little aggressive. Kinda wondering where you got the knife. I... I'ma just... go... *pint glass is thrown after me, shattering on the door as it just barely misses*

So! Yeah. Birth, probably. But STILL! That's like? Still ONE(1) fuckin Jedi right? And even IF Mr. "I am literally half midi-chlorians by blood" sired two Force Sensitives on his first go? That's no guarantee EVERYONE does?

Unless..... >.> we are taking into account a Force Sensitive RACE. THEN? Oh, THEN? It's not a matter of IF, but HOW MUCH. Enough to hit that arbitrary cut off point? What if you don't care? What if you say "everybody can be a Jedi"? Want to TRUELY spread the Light. Not just to those who are STRONG enough... but to EVERYONE.

There are a few races like that! But! That STILL? Doesn't solve the Puzzle! The Problem! Of how could One(1) VERY determined Jedi lady, who? Presumably is pretty cool with motherhood. Rebuild The Jedi Order, by NOPING™ out before Order 66.

Again, presumably AFTER taking on the role of Creche Master. And AFTER taking all the youngling on a Super Fun Unplanned Don't Tell The Other Grown Ups Suprise Feild Trip~☆ (yaaaaay!)(who wants snacks! Everybody got their travel bags and buddies? Let's gooooo~☆!)

Cause like? Still need a stable population. And enough Jedi to *obscene gestures multiculturally* at the Sith.

My? Proposal? We turn to the Wisdom of the Monster Fuckers. (Wait wait WAIT! Don't leave! HEAR ME OUT!) I KNOW this sounds like a sex thing! Not a sex thing! It's a "Who said Humanoid Meant Live Birth? Were fucking Aliens, Bro" thing! Just because? Our SI-OC? Was reborn AS a vaguely human shaped sentient?

DOESNT MEAN SHE'S A MAMMAL.

That weird hair color could mark her as some WEIRD, man! Fuck, for all we know she could be a fungus! It's vaguely body horror! You get over it! Adapt to new biology!

Learn?? You lay CLUTCHS. Fuckin EGGS. All baby making is external after the first bit. Something, something, easier to defend against predators. SI-OC doesn't remember that part. There was this high pitched ringing in her head then a thump. She was on the floor. May have fainted. What're you, a cop?

They offer her weird alien birth control.

She takes the birth control.

Learns she is a Rare and Near Extinct Species, a la Master Mundi. Learns it's VERY detrimental to her health to lay clutches. Takes a lot of resources, she can't LEAVE it, so with out a partner or community (or sufficient hoard of food) she WILL starve to death. It HAS happened.

No, seriously, look Mafame Che in the eyes. It HAS happened. And no you CAN'T "push your impulses into the Force". It's a biological imperative. Your body physically won't LET you.

Exactly three options. Babies born, they die, or YOU DIE.

......little intense. Got it. Yes she would like that birth control. She will continue to be both average and forgettable. Pay no attention to the Jedi Creche Master In Training! Oh look! It's kenobi! *yeets fellow jedi under the speeder*

Take some.... research trips >.> <.< >.> which is of course totally not scouting out new Temple locations! To the Wild Zone. Mmmmm, no one for WEEKS by hyperdrive! It's so calm out here!

Only took, like, 278 different planets scouted! To find the right one.

*starts building dwellings.* *starts directing "too old" Force Sensitives or Families that want to stay together and are willing to move, towards the location.*

New secret Jedi planet? Whaaaaat? Nooooooo. That would be illegal. Jedi can't break RULES! Don't be silly. Oh? Is that Skywalker? *same Speeder, new jedi. YEET!*

But WAIT! The War Approachth! D:> upsetting. Better get ready to give that "we totally need to Hide The Babies For War Reasons" presentation she has prepared. But FIRST?

A clutch. Got a transport pod ready to go. Got food stockpiled. Got the birth control out. Now? Just need a male! Too uh... contribute.

.......look, she wants her legion of tiny jedi babies okay? They glow like STARS. Everything is BETTER with them around. And she's kinda come around to this whole... disgusting slime... goo... Thing™. Cause I mean? At LEAST it's not pushing one OUT! ( o7 Padme, you have her respect. But also you are a madwoman.)

The Healers, are of course, FROTHING at the mouth.

YOU DUMB MOTHER FUCKER. They hiss, like healing and very concerned paragons of needle weilding fury. Where the FUCK are you going to just? GET?? A male of you INCREDIBLY RARE AS FUCK Species? You damn near dead and no longer existent species??!? You have DELIBERATELY put yourself in EXTREME medical distress! For WHAT?! Did you HAVE a plan!?

Yeah. :3 I call it Pulling a Yoda's Linage *Yoda ears move from Concern, to Intrigued*

*click*

..........what was that. Jedi SI-OC, What Was That?? *comms start blowing up* What did you just DO?

Oh :3c simple. She asked. It's the only polite thing to DO after all. She DOES need assistance. Surely someone would be willing to offer. If they can. How? You may ask?? Why look so CONCERNED Councilors! She simply assumed, that? Since there is no way of KNOWING where in the Galaxy surviving members of her Race are? And time IS of the essence? She SHOULD reach as wide an audience as she can, as FAST as she can... RIGHT?

>:3c so, of course, she posted her request to the Holonet.

Video and all.

"Grettings, I am Jedi SI-OC. I am an [race] and currently a Creche Master here at the Jedi Temple of Coruscant. I require the assistance of a healthy, willing Male of my species, as I have laid a clutch. And wish to have it fertilized. I would like to have children. We would, of course, discuss co parenting the children before beginning. I have, attached, further details. Thank you for your time. May the Force be with you"

Sexiest shit a LOT of people for egg laying races have seen in years. Well... those with Very Specific Jedi Kinks. Of course, no one ADMITS to jedi kinks. But like... you've thought about it. Don't lie. Everyone's thought about it. It's them and the Mandalorians.*commiserating noises*

But like? The NEWS CYCLE.

Holy SHIT.

Yeah, yeah, tensions and possible succession from the Republic. Sith plots in the background. But? *new casters violently clear their planned segments for THIS* JEDI? Horny on main!? Is THIS ALLOWED? IS this horny? What race is that? C-can other people volunteer? And if so, who? We take to the streets! Sir, what's your opinion on-?

OUTTA MY WAY, I'MMA BANG A JEDI! *frenzied mob like behavior*

*temple guards, unnamused.* back! BACK! Horny jail! For ALL OF YOU!

Just?? It's? So, SO? Important to me? That their are Mandalorian [race] that show up. Because the need to repopulate their people is more important then *scrunch nose* Jedi(ew). That it becomes the Galaxy's hottest Bachelorette show. WHO? Amongst these Fine And Acomplished Men? Will the Jedi CHOOSE? To have babies with! They ask.

And, presumably, marry and learn the power of family and friendship and emotions and be HEALED by LOVE etc etc.

There are shipping charts. It's horrifying. The talk shows LOVE it.

Council? Day drinking. Except for Mundi. He's just like "....but did you HAVE to you they Holonet? It's so MESSY >:/ everyone's in our BUSINESS now." Cause he's not a hypocrite. Grumpy asshole? Absolutely. But not a hypocrite.

Just? The single most "....who?" Jedi ever. Causing the BIGGEST fuss. Right at the worst possible moment, for Sidious. Causing an explosion of glee and hope and laughter etc, all across the Galaxy. Good feeling towards the Jedi. EVERYBODY talking about them. There's gonna be HUNDREDS more!

If she does this AGAIN (in a decade. Madame Che was NOT joking on the stress it puts on the body) there could be thousands new Jedi over the coming years! (Probably why the Sith fuckin wiped them OUT, not that she thinks about it. Fuckers. Who's laughing NOW?! Huh? WHO LAUGHING NOW?!)

Again! Very, unspeakably Ace. Not a sex thing. I just think I'd be funny? That the Forces answer to The Evil Sith plan was... Babies™.

What are we? Fuckin YODA?

@babbling-babull @hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @spidori @hypewinter @mayfay

[lady-of-glass-and-bone]

Sway The Stars Which Dazzle Like Pearls

Pairing: Din Djarin x female!reader

Fandom: The Mandalorian

Warnings: reader is mute due to trauma that isn't specified and uses sign language taught to her by Din, everything in italics is being signed.

A/N: I feel like I haven't written anything in forever and I was worried about not being able to get this done in time and that if I did that it wouldn't be good enough anyway. But, here it is, good or bad. If I got anything wrong as far as communicating via sign language, let me know so I can do better! My fic for the Summer Lovin' 2024 writing challenge. @pedgito @chaotic-mystery

The planet they land on seems to have an eternal night, a never ending full moon and black sand beaches. Here, the stars reflect perfectly in the still waters, a mirror image of the galaxy spread out above. She walks down the Razor Crest's ramp silently, assessing these surroundings with a sharp eye.

He watches her squat down on her haunches to scoop up a handful of the dark sand, crushing it around between her fingers like she's feeling for the quality of an expensive fabric woven on a far off planet. Her face gives little away of what she is thinking.

Din doesn't know much about her past, about what happened before he found her stowed away on the Crest and petrified of her own shadow after his (first) explosive departure from Nevarro, the tiny green kid in tow.

All he knows is that she can't talk. The words are there, he can see them tumbling around behind her eyes, but they seem to get clogged up in her throat, like a gummed up hyperdrive. So he'd started teaching her to sign.

Her footsteps crunch the gravel-sand as she makes her way over to his side, brushing her hands together to clean off the excess sand but some grains still cling to the creases between her fingers, almost sparkling in the moonlight like jewelry. She pins him with a questioning gaze and signs

'Why?'

"Why what?" he motions backs and she fumbles another word, face scrunched in frustration until she finds her rhythm

'Why are we here? Bounty?"

Din shakes his head, considering what he would call this little excursion between jobs before he replies with

"Pitstop, for fun"

"You do fun?" she pulls her mouth into a smirk, pleased at her little joke.

Din tries not to sigh. He's glad they can communicate so freely now, it's light-years better than their rough early days where any movement to sudden or big had her flinching away violently. But he has no idea how she learned to put so much sarcasm into her gestures. Not that he minds now. Anything is better than seeing that unfiltered terror in her eyes.

"Come" he turns and takes a step toward the gently lapping waters edge but doesn't hear her follow, he turns back with a questioning tilt of his helmet

"What is it?" she asks, expression concerned, still rooted in place

"Something good" he assures

"Promise?"

"Yes."

When they reach the water, the ship and the sleeping green child inside it are only a few yards away, a hulking silhouette jutting out of the otherwise flat landscape.

Pulling off his gloves and tucking them safely away, Din crouches down, the toes of his boots touching the water. His companion mimics him, watching carefully as he slowly submerges his hands in the water before carefully feeling around in the wet sand below.

She taps her knuckles into the soft place just below his beskar pauldron, knowing from unfortunate experience not to catch the armor with her bare hands, furrowing her brows when he turns to look at her, seeing her ask

"What are you looking for?"

"Just wait" Din says aloud and she leans back to sit properly on the ground, still curiously watching him dig around, one of her own hands drawing meaningless shapes in the sand beside her.

It takes him a few tries before he finds it, a small orb made and shaped by time and natural forces until it was washed ashore, waiting to be found.

Sitting back beside her, Din holds out his find nestled in the palm of his hand. It stands out stark white and shining in the odd moonlight.

She signs something he doesn't recognize at first, she watches him for a moment, waiting, and then tries again

"Diamond"

"No, pearl" he says out loud and signs it once, twice, then watches her repeat the motion.

The first few times are uncertain as her eyes dart between her hands and his, studying the movement he makes which shapes this new word. Then a couple more times, each with more confidence until

"Pearl" she signs, grinning over at him

"Good" Din smiles beneath his helmet, holding out the pearl to her, an offering.

"Mine?" she quirks a brow at him, still uneasy with receiving things she doesn't feel she has earned.

Din just watches her, hand outstretched and waiting patiently for her to accept this small gratitude.

Eventually, with the barest brush of her fingertips across his naked palm, she takes the pearl. Holding it reverently, worry flashing across her face before she curls her hand around the gifted treasure.

Din had learned to sit with silence long before he met her, so he turns his head out toward the water, then upward just a little, like he's watching the stars.

He isn't. He is giving her the privacy to feel those sometimes tumultuous emotions that come with receiving a gift.

She frowns at her closed fist, lips pulled down in a deep scowl. If her eyes look a bit glossy, she would never admit it. There's a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach, a roiling feeling that urges her to not accept this. Not to trust.

But she can see the Mandalorian from the corner of her eye, pretending to watch the stars, nervously rubbing the tips of his fingers together and smearing the gritty sand there until it sloughs off and back onto the beach.

Her courage feels like a finite thing, urgently flopping around in her chest like a gasping fish on land. She leans over closer to the Mandalorian, sees his helmet shift but not quite turn fully toward her as she wraps her arms around his bicep, the pauldron on his shoulder cold even through her shirt.

Hugging him feels like a monumental leap, her cheek pressed against the mudhorn sigil on his beskar shoulder. Her courage has waned and she feels weak, vulnerable, but the little pearl clutched in her hand reminds her that it isn't gone for good.

That it is okay to lean into her companion, her friend, who seems like a forever sturdy rock in the storm that has eclipsed her life.

Awkwardly, arms still wrapped around her Mandalorian's arm, she tells him

"Thank you."

Din makes a sound of acknowledgement, smiling gently beneath his helmet and watching her from the corner of his eye. Her face seems content and his chest constricts in pride, to see that he has hopefully earned her trust enough for her to relax in his presence.

"You're not even looking at the stars" she softly accuses, leaning forward to fully grab his attention

"Neither are you" he retorts.

She huffs a small laugh, tilting her head and raising a hand slowly toward the smooth metal cheek of his helmet. She guides him so they are face to face. Sort of.

They stare, her watching the reflection of the stars in the visor of his helmet, wondering just a little if his eyes are bright beneath all this beskar. If he's looking at her as gratefully as she is him.

Din watches her face, unsure about the hand she has on his helmet, but far more distracted with trying to decipher her expression. Joy seems too big, maybe contentment?

Either way, neither one of them is watching the stars turn above them, a precious pearl clutched between them, a symbol of more. Of hope.

[queenie-official]

✨🐚 Sandy Love 🐚✨

main masterlist word count: 2171

pairing: modern!Anakin skywalker x reader

summary: beach day with Anakin 🏖️

a/n: everyone say thank you @everydaydreamer for getting me to come back and write again 🤭 added a extra scene at the end just for you pookie ☺️

“why are we doing this?" you heard Anakin question from somewhere behind you as you dug around the bag in front of you, mentally adding items to your list of things to bring. sunscreen, extra water bottles, and your sunglasses.

you smile, turning on your heels as you respond "Because it's gonna be fun." he has his arms crossed, a frown adorning his face. to an outsider he probably looked furious but you knew better, you could see the soft look in his eyes despite the forced furrow in his brow.

"We both hate sand" he grumbles and you huff continuing with your task to distract yourself from the fact he's completely right.

placing the final items in your bag you defend your plan "yea but I always liked building sandcastles." you're about to grab the handles of the beach bag but Anakin quickly swoops in.

"We could do that here with kinetic sand- which by the way is way softer than actual sand" he retorts not even close to being convinced by you.

you glare at him, reaching forward to grab the bag back but he holds it out of your reach. "we don't have access to unlimited sea shells at home" you state whilst fighting him for the bag- or well attempting to. the height difference you two have proving to be a disadvantage on your end.

"we have access to literally unlimited everything else" he says with a roll of his eyes holding you back with one hand, pathetic really. you know how strong he is compared to you but it never really clicks until moments like this.

"What about the ocean?" you argue maneuvering under his arm quickly throwing him off guard and just as you're about to grab the bag he tosses it back onto the bed.

"you can't swim" he says plainly grabbing your arms and pulling you into his chest, trapping you in a hug before you can go after the bag.

"I can float!" you shout frustratedly, squirming in his hold to try and get him to release you which only makes him hold you tighter. you groan slumping against his chest in defeat.

"you can do that in a pool" he says with a smug smile thinking he's won, but as soon as he loosens his hold you break free. rushing over to the bed and grabbing the beach bag triumphantly.

"come on it's gonna be great, you've already got your swim trunks on" you give him a smug smile of your own.

Anakin had agreed to go with you before even processing what you'd asked, always ready to go anywhere you wanted to. today was the day that backfired on him because as soon as he got dressed and saw you packing a bag as he exited the bathroom, reality caught up with him. the fact of the matter was you'd ask to go to the beach not hang in his pool.

"i can't believe i even agreed to this" he groaned dramatically while running his hands down his face.

you frown growing tired of his negative attitude "you know if you're gonna keep complaining i can just call Padme and go with her."

Anakin lights up at that idea, smiling brightly as he plops down onto the bed putting his arms behind his head "that's a great idea, glad we've come to a compromise."

your jaw drops slightly your brain kicking into hyperdrive "what! no i was-" you cut yourself off taking a breath. "i wanna go with you Ani not Padme" you say sincerely, pouting as you look down at where he now lays.

there's a brief silence as you stare at each other and his smile falls caving with a sigh that makes yours grow "Oh alright, it's a good thing you're cute."

"Yes!!" you jump causing the beach bag to slightly tug on your shoulder from the action, but you continue your victory celebration "To the beach!" you sing while happily dancing your way out of the room.

"you're so weird" Anakin snorts just loud enough for you to hear before you're fully out.

"is it everything you wanted?" Anakin asks as soon as you both step foot onto the sandy beach, the grainy sand immediately making home in your sandals as you walk.

you can't help but grimace making your sunglasses move up with the scrunch of your nose. the feeling was almost immediately too much as you involuntarily replied "and worse" under your breath.

Anakin cranes his neck slightly, his face now directly in front of yours with a quirked brow "what was that?" he asks with his own sunglasses sliding slightly down his nose. at first you thought he'd heard you and was just being a smart ass like usual, but the lack of a smug smile on his face and the wind blowing in your ears mixed with the seagulls squawking reassured you that was not the case.

biting your tongue and putting on your best smile you answer "i said it's better, the sand isn't even that bad." you dig your feet into the sand a little more and gesture down for him to see to emphasize your point. "how about for you?"

Anakin rolls his eyes not buying your facade but he doesn't poke back. "i want to be anywhere else but here" he retorts lifting his leg up slightly, and shaking his foot to clear his sandals of the sand with a look of pure disgust on his face. "so yea id say the same as always for me" he pushes his sunglasses up his face with a sigh.

"oh come on it's not that bad" you say unsure whether or not you were trying more to convince him or yourself.

"mmm, debatable- we're just building the sandcastle and leaving right?" he asks with a sigh as he starts to walk further into the beach. he looks briefly behind himself to see you with your feet planted in the same spot. in all honesty, you were contemplating turning right around and marching back to the parked car but that would mean admitting he was right.

Anakin stuck his hand out shaking it a little, silently calling you over to take hold. the action made you genuinely smile as you jogged right on up to him- briefly able to ignore the horrible feeling of sand squishing between your toes. "yea just the sandcastle" you say while lacing your fingers with his.

it hadn't even been an hour yet since you had arrived but gods did it feel like it.

you'd spent the first fifteen minutes just gathering seashells to decorate your sandcastle with, which was fine up until you had to sit down to build it.

now here you both were with sand quite literally everywhere.

Anakin had stopped helping you the second he sat down, his mood souring again almost instantly. you couldn't even blame him. if you weren't trying to prove him wrong that would have been your final straw as well, instead you persevered.

you were just about finished when Anakin let out his fifth disgruntled sigh within the last five minutes "are you done yet?"

"will you stop being so negative" you huff, placing another shell around the base of your top tower. he all but groans, running his hands through his hair only to instantly regret his actions when he can feel every grain of sand on his scalp.

"maybe, if there wasn't sand in places where sand shouldn't be i-" he started, speaking through gritted teeth before you cut him off. placing your final shell on the very top as the finishing touch.

"okay i get it, let's just wash off in the ocean really quick, then we can leave" you stand up, wiping your hands clean with an annoyed look on your face. as always Anakin notices immediately despite the fact you refused to meet his eyes, opting to look at the rise and fall of the tides.

"well now i don't want to" he sighs, standing up and brushing himself off as well. you look over at him with your brow raised in confusion. you didn't even say anything before he answered your unspoken question, "you're gonna be all mopey."

"no im not" you say with a roll of your eyes, crossing your arms in denial but the pout on your lips contradicts your words.

"you're already doing it right now" he points out as you slump forward letting your arms fall to your sides. you wanted to leave as much as he did, however the reality of the fact you'd just wasted so much time in a place neither of you enjoyed just happened to settle in at that moment.

"i wanted this to be more fun" you say sincerely and Anakin can't help but soften. he pulls you into his arms rubbing your back in gentle circles, this usually soothed you but currently all you could focus on was the layer of sand that stood between your skin and where his hand was.

you cringe, shrugging his hands off causing him to frown. overstimulation was starting to settle in, which was clear from the look on your face. "you're hating this as much as i am aren't you?" he asked with a knowing smile.

"from the second we stepped foot on the beach and i felt the sand go between my toes" you cave just ready to leave.

"i knew it!" he shouts, throwing his arms up in victory.

you playfully shove him "yea yeah you were right." he places his hand over his chest in mock offense making you giggle. he drops the act with another smile, leaning over and pressing a kiss right to your cheek.

"i have an idea on how to turn this day around." he says while walking towards the ocean so you both can wash off as much sand as you can.

"how are you feeling?" he asks before taking a sip of a cold cola, leaning back where he is sat and adjusting his sunglasses.

"like we should have just done this from the beginning" you confess, turning your head so your view was no longer constricted from the flamingo pool floaty you were sitting in.

you can see the smug smile on his face as he places the can of soda down, pushing his sunglasses onto the top of his head before swimming over to you. "don't say it" you mumble.

"i didn't say anything" he defends himself, holding onto the side of your floaty.

"you were about to" you point an accusing finger at him and he gently smacks your hand away.

"but i didn't" he counters, moving back slightly before you can push him away.

as if that would stop you, moving your arm back you straighten your hand out and push forward splashing him with a bunch of water.

Anakin doesn't back down, moving back towards you while ignoring the fact his sunglasses fell off and were now sinking to the bottom of his pool. he shakes the water out of his hair all over you.

you both laugh, moods much brighter than before. "this is nice" you smile and Anakin smiles back, resting his head on your floaty right next to your thigh.

there's a comfortable silence before Anakin lets out an annoyed groan. "god there's so much sand in my car."

you can’t help but give him a awkward pity smile "sorry."

(bonus scene)

pushing up from the bottom of the pool and emerging from the water right next to where Anakin is wading comfortably, you smile at him whilst clinging to the wall of the pool. "Ani, wanna play mermaids?"

his brows knit together in confusion unsure if he heard you right "what?"

"do you wanna play mermaids?" you ask again, watching his face contort as he practically winces.

"why would i want to do that?" he says with a shudder. sometimes you can't even tell who's more dramatic than the other, but currently Anakin is taking the cake.

"because it's fun and we haven't played it since we were little" you plead, putting on your best puppy-dog eyes.

"with good reason and you can't even swim, what kind of mermaid can't swim" he quips.

"i can swim underwater! and mermaids don't need air to breathe so it works out" you shout your defense, you'd splash him with water but you would have to let go of the pool wall for that and you were way too far in the deep end for that.

"you're going to have to come up for air at some point-" he begins to clap back but you cut him off tired of fighting.

"okay i'm not gonna argue logistics with you, so do you wanna play mermaids with me or not" you grumble, but immediately brighten up when he lets out a defeated sigh.

"only if i get water manipulation powers" he states before you guys begin.

"deal.”

🌝umm hi guys, been awhile fr- be honest did yall think i died 😭? anyway i thought it made sense to work on my summer drafts i made last year now that it’s summer again ✨ so there will be more of these i promise 🙏 swear i won’t disappear for like a year again, this time it’s just a week because i’m going on vacation 💃

love you all 💋💋 and let me know what you think! i’ve missed reading your comments 😌

[varpusvaras]

The Millennium Falcon was, perhaps, a fast ship for its type, but it was not smooth flying in the slightest.

Things had definitely been thrown around during the fight, but still, Leia had kept herself pressed against one of the windows, and she was staring right at the planet on the other side of it. The Death Star still loomed over it, like a mechanical moon, which was definitely a nerve-wracking sight. Luke couldn't fault her for looking afraid.

Still, he believed that Obi-Wan and Rex were going to succeed. He had to. There were no other options.

"Move, kid." Han pushed past him to the consols. "We need to make the jump before they send out more of them after us."

"There are already more coming", Cody said. He looked nervous too. Well, maybe not nervous, but tense. Luke could understand that, too. It was his partner and his brother that had stayed behind on the Death Star, after all. "We need to go."

"Already on it", Han grunted. He was typing on his consol even faster, decidedly not looking at the approaching swarm of TIE-fighters. "Okay, everybody hold onto something!"

Leia didn't move to hold onto anything. She was still standing at the window, staring at Alderaan. It looked almost like she was trying to see something, but Luke didn't know what. They were too far away to see anything on the surface, anyway.

She must've been just worried in general. It was her home, after all.

"Hey." Luke grabbed her arm. "It's going to be okay, the message said that your parents have already been evacuated. The Viceroy and the Queen are both on the way to the Rebel base-"

She whipped around to look at him.

"The Queen and the Viceroy?" She repeated. She looked more worried now.

"Yes", Luke said. "Commander Organa said that-"

"Where is he?" Leia interrupted him. Her voice had risen a whole lot. The ship shook beneath them as the hyperdrives begun to start up. "Commander Organa, where is he?"

"He said he was on Alderaan-" Luke started, attempting to explain the whole thing since he hadn't had the time earlier, but Leia wasn't listening to him anymore. She had turned around and was lurching towards Han.

"Stop the jump!" Luke had not heard her sounding so panicked before, not even when they had been inside the Death Star, surrounded by Stormtroopers. "Stop it!"

She reached for the consols, but Cody jumped forward as well before she got too close, and wrapped his arms around her and pulled her away.

"Leia, calm down-" Leia struggled in his grasp, glawing at his arms, her eyes wide.

"No!" She tried to push him off of her. "We can't leave him there!"

"We have to-"

"No!" Leia didn't look like she was even listening to anything that Cody was saying. "No! Stop it! Stop it, he's your brother, you cannot leave him there!"

Cody went still.

"What?" He asked, sounding somehow even more confused than what Luke felt. "What did you-"

The ship lurched forward in the way that Luke felt all the way at the bottom of his stomach, and the stars outside the cockpit started to blurr.

"No!" Leia almost managed to push Cody's arms away. "Buir-"

They jumped into hyperspace, Alderaan and the Death Star disappearing from their view all at once.

[rory-multifandom-mess]

I mentioned this au in the tags of a post like… Yesterday I think I don’t remember. Anyway.

In this AU, Thad’s universe had a bad ending, aka Solver managed to wipe out the whole universe.

Before the finale, Thad located this time machine thingy that looked like DD ships and taught himself to work it. During the finale, after Lizzy, Khan, and Nori died, Thad, V, N, and Uzi realized there was no winning. They started to flee toward the pod, fighting off solver; V gets killed on the way, but Uzi, N, and Thad make it to the pod. N and Uzi then realize that no one would make it out alive if they went with Thad. So while they were arguing, Uzi shoved her jacket and N’s hat logo at Thad, which shoved him in.

Thad stumbles back with a yelp, hitting his elbow on the emergency start button. The door slams and he panics, rushing forward and slamming his fists on the door, screaming and begging for them to come with him, to please don’t do this!

They turn back to him and smile. N starts to tear up. Uzi’s visor changes to text. “Survive. For us.” N’s visor also changes to text. “We’re sorry. And we’ll miss you.”

Thad begs, but the pod shakes, falling into his back as it takes off. He scrambles to his feet again, looking down at them.

He watches as Cynessa lunges at them and they’re consumed by dust. He sees oil splatter and heads fly. Yellow tendrils shoot out of the core of Copper 9 and at him. Moments before it reaches the pod, the pod enters hyperdrive, which knocks him out.

When he wakes up again, he tries to use the pod to go back to his universe, but it gives him an error message.

[[:Error: Universe Unavailable. We are sorry.]]

Yeah he’s not ok.

Anyway, all of that was 3 years ago. Here’s some extra info about the AU under the cut!

- He occasionally visits the og Universe, partly to rummage for scrap metal, partly to make sure it’s still healthy (if something bad happens to it, there goes the rest of the universes) and partly to hang with Uzi, V, and N. He physically cannot go near Lizzy because he will have a breakdown

- Hanging with the gang kind of hurts his heart but he’s coping it’s ok

- V and Uzi don’t fully trust him which also hurts but he fully understands it

- He taught himself a lot of skills like mechanics, engineering, coding, and some quantum physics, etc so he could repair himself and the pod

- Obviously, he goes around the universes saving others from total destruction like his, even if it does obstruct things. Moral dilemma pov u know how it is

- Oh also his upgrades make him 5’1

-=-=-=-=-=-

Here’s Uzi’s og design in the universe Thad is from

I was gonna draw V, Lizzy, and N’s lil design differences but i don’t have the motivation anymore, so I’ll write them.

TT! Thad’s OG Universe - SD-V

- Has the original red bandana/scarf from her concept art

- Permanent glasses

- Hair is longer, tied into a spikey bun

- “Fingerless gloves” on her normal drone hands

- Shorts, like the ones she wore in episode 4, except black and permanent

TT! Thad’s OG Universe - SD-N

- Back of hair looks more like a mullet cause it’s longer

- White T-shirt under jacket

- Gave the pilot hat logo to Uzi so she can put it on her beanie (i forgot to add that to her ref)

- Snaggleteeths

- Pilot “coat” thingy is slightly longer like a trench coat

TT! Thad’s OG Universe - Lizzy

- Instead of her hair all being up in a ponytail, she has a half up, half down look, and her ponytail isn’t as long. Medium length hair girlie

- Jacket that she wears off her shoulders so they rest around her elbows

- Streaks of pink in her hair

- Tights. don’t ask me how that works

- Obvious eyelashes added to her eyelights

- Not a physical change, but she’s slightly smarter than canon Lizzy. When she got Thad between Episodes 6 and 7, she gave him her hair ribbon, because she knew he is far more agile than she is. And she was right.

Uuuuh. Kay that’s it. send asks with questions if you have any. Yes you can draw stuff for this/draw the designs. I don’t have the motivation </3

[yoitsjay]

hello hello, i saw your requests are open!!! (i got so excited)

might i request some tech x f!jedi reader where they start by just working on the marauder together. and like over time both of them get more comfortable with each other and start opening up to one another. then one night after a battle on her homeworld they finnaly realize they have mutual feels and kiss? thanks sooo much!!

i hope you have a great day/night!!!!!!!

Yes requests are always open! Feel free to request any time 😊

This is so cute, enjoy!

Don't Want You Hurt

Pairings: Tech x Fem jedi! Reader

Summary: you were on your homeworld fighting droids when you got swarmed by more separatists. You almost got hurt and Tech realizes he can't hide his feelings or concern for you any longer.

Warnings: cannon violence, fluffiness, reader gets hurt, kisses

Word count: 1,992

As a padawan you were faced with many hardships, you were only a child when you were thrown into the clone wars. Your master Aayla Secura taught you all she knew while also teaching you the harsh faces of battle and how to deal with the death that followed.

But you were an extremely gifted jedi and the council knew this. You had rare force abilities that not many jedi had anymore, life force healing as well as battle meditation. Aayla taught you how to harness those capabilities and amplify them without harming yourself.

You had passed your trials when you had turned 20 and often assisted Aayla’s battalion while you waited for your own. However that never happened, and instead you were told that you would be assigned to an experimental clone unit.

When you first joined them you felt very out of place, you tried bonding, amongst other things but it didn’t really get you that far, so you just focused on missions. You only ever really spoke to Hunter when it was about planning, since you were their commanding officer they did have to listen to you.

It had taken a while, but the way you fought so fiercely and protected many of them from harm, they started trusting you and actually holding conversations with them. Tech especially had asked you many questions once he got comfortable around you.

You were currently on Coruscant doing some repairs on the Marauder as well as getting it fueled up. You were out of your armor and instead wore a thin tight pair of workout shirts and a sports bra, sweat dripping down your back as you worked outside the Marauder.

You didn’t know why it was so hot outside, but you heard the news broadcasters mention something about heat flashes for a week so that could have been it. “Y/n i need your abilities to lift up the new hyperdrive.” Tech requested as he stepped out of the ship, you stood up, wiping the sweat of your brow as you nodded.

The hyperdrive had been damaged in a battle, you managed to get it repaired in order to jump but had to stop in Coruscant to get a new one.

You closed your eyes and with both hands you reached out, using the force to pull out the old and busted hyperdrive before replacing it with the new one. You could feel Tech’s eyes on you as your muscles flexed and you grunted before standing up straight stretching out your arms.

“Okay i’m gonna go take a break.” You told Tech, offering him a smile as you walked back onto the Marauder, graning as you slumped down onto the cold floor of the bunk room. Crosshair poked his head in, smirking as he saw you on the ground ass up.

“hot sweetheart? i bet i can help” he flirted, but you just groaned and flipped him off, pushing yourself upwards before getting off the ground. “I just don't get how all of you can still be in your armor while I'm dripping sweat down my back and thighs.” You huffed, walking out to the little fresher in the Marauder. Tech had walked inside, watching you slink into the fresher before shutting the door.

He looked over at Crosshair who was snickering to himself before he entered the cockpit.

By the time you were sweat free and dried off from your shower, Hunter and Wrecker were back with a new mission and fresh rations. So you got dressed.

You had long forgotten standard jedi robes in favor of hard plastoid armor which was even painted to match the bad batch’s armor. Granted you still had significantly less armor then Hunter or the others since you still needed that added mobility, but you had a chest plate, pauldrons, arm bracers and lower leg armor, leaving your lower abdomen to above your knees more vulnerable.

They had tried to get you to wear a full set but you just wouldn’t budge on it, always arguing back that if any armor hindered your movements you could put the team at risk, and you always had your lightsaber to deflect shots.

“We have a new mission, boys- and Y/n.” Hunter spoke up as he entered the Marauder, you rolled your eyes, but followed him into the cockpit. “We're being asked to travel to Onderon since they reported some separatist activity. So we’re gonna destroy it.” Hunter explained, however your eyes went wide.

“Onderon?” You repeated, Hunter nodded. “Yeah? Why what's up?” he asked. You sighed, sitting down in the cockpit as you rubbed the back of your neck. “It's just- that’s where I was born… I haven't been to Onderon since… since I was a baby.” You started, shaking your head. “I’ll be fine, it's just… kinda crazy.” You muttered.

Tech turned to look at you, raising an eyebrow before he spoke up. “Why is it crazy?” He asked, you turned to look at him before sighing and leaning back in your seat. “It’s nothing, seriously I'm fine.” You stated, not wanting to really talk about it anymore.

But you had a bad feeling growing in the pit of your stomach.

-

Turns out you were right about the bad feeling bit.

After some scouting you found the separatist base outside of Onderon’s city but it was empty. You decided to do some solo scouting and told the rest of them to stay back and watch your back in case anything had happened, but eventually you slipped out of view.

What they didn’t see was you getting knocked out by droids, your double bladed lightsaber was taken, and force blocking cuffs were put on your hands as you were taken prisoner inside the base.

Hunter knew something was wrong when thousands of droids emerged from the forest at once and walked into the facility, so he, Tech, Wrecker and crosshair scaled the wall of the base when the coast was clear and started searching for you.

“I can’t believe we captured a jedi!”

“General Grievous will be so excited!”

“Maybe I'll get promoted!”

The battle droids conversed, and Hunter raised his hand and pointed in a direction, Tech followed where he was pointing, eyes widening as he saw you, suspended in the air with your arms and legs bound.

“We have to get her.” Wrecker whispered, Tech nodded in agreement as he lowered the visor part of his helmet and surveyed the area as Hunter came up with a plan.

You on the other hand were starting to wake up, a sharp gasp leaving your lips as your eyes flew open.You pulled at your restraints, growling at every droid that passed by you. “Let me outta here you dung heaps! I swear to the maker when my men get me out of here I'll sever all your heads!” You shouted angrily.

This caught Tech’s attention, and he couldn’t help but smile as his brothers chuckled.

However before they could begin their plan, a lone fighter ship had entered the atmosphere and flew down into the base. Emerging from it was none other than grievous himself. You spat at his feet when he reached you, narrowing your eyes as he roughly grabbed your jaw.

“My my, what a fine specimen… you’ll be a wonderful addition to my collection.” he stated. Igniting one of the lightsabers he held.

“Wait!” You exclaimed, and he paused as he held the green blade to your neck. “If you're gonna kill me, why not make it fun? Let me down and give me my lightsaber and let me challenge you. If you win you kill me, if I win- well- I win.” You breathed out, turning your head away as you closed your eyes, fully prepared for him to just cut off your head.

“Yes… yes I will grant you this request.” Grievous said, before releasing your restraints. You dropped to the ground with a thud, and a droid waked over, tossing your saber to your feet. A circle of droids was made, and now you and Grievous stood in the middle.

He ignited all four of his lightsabers, but you had yet to ignite yours. You circled each other, but as you did you unclipped your chestplate and pauldrons, letting them fall to the ground.

Grievous then charged you, but you dodged his quick and angry blows, ducking, jumping and just overall avoiding his swings. You glanced up, catching the flash of a rifle. You grinned, knowing your men, your friends had these droids surrounded.

As Grievous swung his sabers at you you finally ignited your dual saber and blocked the attack, however he had only attacked with three sabers, using the fourth to stab you in the abdomen, You let out a choked sound of surprise, clenching your teeth as you closed your mind before calling on the force to push him away before you jumped back.

Pain burned through your abdomen, but you didn’t let one stab cripple you, or kill you. You then ran forward, jumping high into the air as you nodded to whoever was looking, and a bomb charge was thrown into the air.

Mid jump you directed the bomb towards Grievous, landing on the ground as you cut through some droids before jumping up and onto the wall beside Tech. “Miss me?” You asked, teasing almost despite the growing burning pain in your torso.

“You are critically injured Y/n, we are returning to the Marauder.” He stated, catching you in his arms as you stumbled forward when the pain had gotten too much. You nodded weakly, allowing Tech to pick you up in his arms.

You weren’t surprised at his amount of strength, he had shown many times that he had the muscle and the skill for many things outside of blaster combat.

Hunter, Wrecker and Crosshair covered your exit, but soon you were all back on the Marauder and tech was already looking at the small hole in your abdomen. It was entirely cauterized, so all he had to do was put bacta on it and cover it.

Hunter piloted and also sent a message to the council that Grievous was there and that the operation was bigger than they thought, and that they were injured. You groaned and winced as Tech cleaned up the area a little bit before placing the bacta over both sides of the wound. He was being as gentle as possible with you, and you couldn’t help but stare.

His helmet was off, but as you studied him, you noticed a tear fall down his cheek, and then another. “Tech?” You called out, placing your hand on his. “You don’t need to cry, you know I'll be okay.” You whispered, holding his hand in yours. “I know, but you…”tech trailed off, avoiding eye contact.

“Tech, you can talk to me.” You whispered, hearing him sigh. “I find myself caring for you, more than I should. I don’t want to ever see you hurt.” He explained. You frowned, but nodded, gently reaching up to cup his cheek. “I care for you too Tech.” You whispered, slowly sitting up with a grunt before pulling him into your arms.

“I started having these feelings for you a while ago.” He muttered into your shoulder. You chuckled, pulling him back as you cupped his cheek again. “Me too Tech… I love you.” You expressed honestly, seeing him smile at you.

“Don’t ever duel Grievous on your own again.” He ordered sternly, but you simply rolled your eyes before pulling him into a gentle kiss.

Wrecker cheered in the background, only for Hunter to slap a hand over his mouth, pulling him into the cockpit with crosshair to give you and Tech some privacy.

“You can't give me orders, you know, I outrank you.” You whispered to Tech, who just rolled his eyes and pressed his lips to yours again.

➺

Tag list:

Tech tag:

Tbb:

@moomoog017 @only-my-unexistent-fiances

[carionto]

Hyperbrake Racing

Everything in Human ships has a manual override. They love automating all processes and reduce any workload to nothing, but also have this compulsive need to be able to take direct control if so desired.

They also have emergency off switches for everything. Yes, including life support. Don't ask, you'll just get a variant of:

"But What If!?"

Obviously, this applies to things you should never under any circumstances shut down preemptively, such as a Hyperspace Jump.

The earliest space-faring civilizations quickly discovered that if a Hyperdrive has a power interruption even for a nano-second your atoms will get dispersed across a few light months. This is why all Hyperdrives have an internal chargeable uninterruptible power supply unit.

Humanity, however, did not allow "Not having any reason whatsoever" to stop them from figuring out a way. Utilizing their ridiculous quantum computer speed and the ability of their fusion reactors to charge a Hyperdrive mid-jump, and with an injection of a disgusting few million lines of hack code that manipulate all related pieces of hardware in just the most nauseating sequences, they created the Hyperbrake.

Also, not a metaphor - braking literally causes Humans to feel nauseous, sometimes throw up, rarely even pass out. Not a single volunteer crew member aboard joint vessels from any of the other Coalition species has dared to "test" what happens to them.

As with nearly all things Humans come across or invent, they will find a use for it should one not occur normally.

_____________________

Near Neptune

Daniel, Samantha, and Nicholas Schreier were three siblings ages 17, 19, and 20, respectively. Today they had "borrowed" their dad's General FordStar mark 980-MZ HaulerHound, a civilian grade transport typically used by small business owners. Dad, however, was an enthusiast, and had modified the "Hound Dog", as he calls it, with a military grade reactor and computer core. He's always been that guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who can get the thing legally enough.

There is a nearby research station that the kids often visit due to their mom working there, but today she was not. Instead, what they are doing, is racing against each other to set the best record. Well, technically the opposite of racing - coming to a halt.

Using the Hyperbrake, they are competing to see who can stop the closest to the stations outer point-defense range without entering it or you automatically lose. After Samantha's turn, they were suddenly contacted by the station. It was Yakovskii, one of mom's colleagues and a frequent guest at dad's barbecues, so they were on sorta good terms. Not by the tone voice coming through the comms rights now though:

"What in the Hell are you thinking!? At first I thought you were just messing around and accidentally did that, but TWICE now!?! I checked the trajectory, if you had stopped a half-second later, you would've ended up mere meters from Neptune's upper atmosphere! Did you account for the possible sudden gravitational pull? Can you maneuver that lumbering ship fast enough to not get pulled down? Not to mention Hyperbraking severely impairs your cognitive abilities for a moment? A moment that you need to be clearheaded for or risk DEATH!?!"

The three siblings could only hang their heads in shame and mutter out some weak apologies. After a moment of silence and reflection, Yakovskii speaks in a warmer tone:

*sigh* "Look, I understand it's a fancy new toy and you want to see what you can do. I get it, I really do. Me and my brother used to play vertical hockey the first time we got our hands on a surplus gravity field generator. But we first figured out how to make sure we didn't break our bones in case it failed. Seriously, never forget to consider your own safety first before you try out new things in a peaceful environment. You're not being chased by pirates or trying to avoid the law or whatever.

Take your time, pick a starting position that's further away and keeps Neptune and any of its moons to the side of the station, then aim for an area of space that only has the outer range of the defenses and empty space ahead from your point of view. And please set the regular Hyperjump destination within Sol, don't just pick a random place. The Hyperbrake sometimes loops in on itself and never executes the brake and can only be reset once out of Hyperspace. You don't want to get stuck in a pointless jump for hours do you?"

After this admonishment, the siblings apologized more energetically and took his advice to heart. They spent the next hour competing until all three were down to single meter differences and kinda got bored, so they docked at the station and hung out with the off-duty staff, played some poker, but then dad barged in and dragged them all home. They were not invited to the barbecue gatherings for two weeks, but only because mom told him to. Personally he was excited about all the data his kids had unknowingly given him with all their jumping and braking, a real stress test for his beautiful Hound Dog.

[lifblogs]

Do You Not Trust Me?

Day 4 of Neurodivergent Tech Week Prompt: "Do you not trust me?" "Absolutely not. Next question." @neurodivergent-tech-week

Rating: General Audiences Word Count: 1460 Summary: Crosshair decides to go with Clone Force 99 after the destruction of Kamino. Tech wants to scan for an inhibitor chip, just to be safe. READ ON AO3

Tech was adding just a few touches to his scanner, his body tense because of who sat across from him near the hyperdrive computer, hands bound.

Crosshair let out a huff, hanging his head.

“Do you not trust me?” he asked, knowing the nature of the scanner Tech was working on.

Tech’s solder sparked blue into the ship.

The others were busy, leaving Tech to his business with Crosshair. In truth, he was only doing it out of curiosity, though he was ordered to by Hunter, but given the situation…

“Absolutely not,” he stated quite easily. “Next question.”

“I see you still have your sass.” Crosshair’s voice lacked the usual hissing strength to it. He was clearly ashamed from asking them to help him off Kamino.

“As do you, I’m sure.” Tech lowered the scanner. “It’s not just about trust,” Tech said. “You know I have to verify this.”

Crosshair let out another huff, leaning back in his seat, and stretching out his long legs.

Tech pulled his legs in.

“Hunter wants you to verify it, to see if I’m lying.”

Ugh. “Crosshair, what reason have you given us to trust you? You lured us to Kamino at the Empire’s orders, you shot your own squad”— Crosshair turned away; perhaps at the fact that the Bad Batch was no longer his squad?—”you told us you believe in the Empire, and are loyal to them, and then you ask us to get you off Kamino despite your own pride, but since then you have not made your allegiance clear.”

Tech finished with the scanner, and set his tools aside.

“There, all done.”

“Tech, I know you. I know you like to look at every side, like to understand as much as you can about—about everything, really. Now look at the other evidence.”

“Why? Will you be staying with us, or is your loyalty to those who destroyed our home more important to you?”

Tech stood, and tried scanning Crosshair, but he stood too, shoving him. Tech shoved back.. Perhaps their altercation was too loud because Hunter noticed, exiting the cockpit in a rush, and getting in between them. Crosshair snarled when he pulled them apart.

“Stop it. Both of you. Crosshair, sit down.”

“Make me.”

“How old are you?” Hunter asked.

“Fine,” Crosshair growled, taking a seat. “But I’m only listening to you so I actually make it to my destination.”

“We’re not the ones who want you dead,” Hunter said. “Think about that.” He turned to Tech. “You’re all right here? You can handle him?”

Guilt struck Tech for a moment as his hand just brushed against one of his blasters holstered at his hips.

“Of course.”

“Good, now check if he still has his chip.”

“I don’t,” Crosshair swore.

“Then what’s the harm in the scan?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Crosshair told him.

Tech cleared his throat, going over in his head what he wanted to say. He should say it now. No, no… Now! Hmm, maybe it needed some tweaking.

Hunter, may I speak with you? I believe you are riling Crosshair up. I can handle him.

Yes, that was perfect.

By the time he had his script, Crosshair was in Hunter’s face.

Oh no, was he too late?

He still had to try.

Tech cleared his throat again, getting at least Hunter’s attention (Crosshair was still sneering at Hunter). “Hunter,” he started, worried his voice was coming out too loud (not like he could change that at the moment; there was just too much to think about), “may I speak with you?”

Hunter drew his attention from Crosshair, which seemed to take a mighty effort. Tech didn’t blame him.

“Fine, but I’m gonna keep an eye on him.”

“That is preferable,” Tech said, breaking his script, and finding the rest of the words falling away from him as the connection broke.

Scrag.

“So what is it?” Hunter asked.

How am I supposed to say it now?

Just try.

You have to try.

Tech tried to ignore the sudden anxiety in his gut at finding the right words, and said, “I believe you are riling Crosshair up. Clearly he is distressed by your presence.”

“And he isn’t by yours?”

“He is, but to a lesser extent. I believe this will go more smoothly if I handle it on my own.”

Hunter eyed Tech, and then Crosshair. He looked back at Tech, and Tech dodged his gaze, looking at his eyebrows instead, and the dark ink of his tattoo.

“Fine, but holler if you need help.”

Hunter went back to the cockpit, and the door opening earned Tech a glance at Omega peeking through, curious as always. Besides, she seemed willing to forget Crosshair’s transgressions.

AZI was in the cockpit as well, making it more crowded. He had volunteered to check if Crosshair still had his chip, but Tech wanted to see it for himself, with his own tool.

“Glad Hunter decided I don’t need another babysitter,” Crosshair hissed out as Tech came back over.

“Perhaps I was the one who didn’t want him around.”

“You? Aren’t you all one big, happy family?”

“No,” Tech stated. “I fear we are missing a piece.”

They went silent.

“Please, let me scan you.”

“Fine,” Crosshair relented. “As long as your stupid machine doesn’t touch my head.”

“It won’t.”

Still, Tech held in a wince as he scanned Crosshair, getting a closer look at his scar.

“Did that require skin grafts?” he asked.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business. You don’t trust me, remember? So I don’t trust you.”

“I miss the time when we could trust each other,” Tech admitted, voice perhaps more monotone than he had intended.

“Just finish your stupid scan.”

Tech did, and… no inhibitor chip. He felt a strange lightness in his chest that Crosshair had been telling the truth.

But then that meant he had been telling the truth about his loyalty to the Empire as well, which then felt like a stab in the gut.

“It appears you were not lying,” Tech managed to get out.

“As if I didn’t already know that.”

“You want to be left alone,” Tech stated, still knowing Crosshair despite him being an enemy now.

To his surprise, Crosshair paused.

Tech almost sat back down, even twisting his hips to do so.

“Yes.”

Crosshair was lying. Tech knew it like he knew how to fly the Marauder, knew it like he knew that a venomous twirfang didn’t actually need its venom to kill its prey, knew it like he knew the sound of a purrgil about to jump to hyperspace.

Tech left him to his lie, wondering if he would ever look back at his recording of that moment.

Despite how crowded it was in the cockpit, Tech felt devastatingly lonely. He wondered if Crosshair felt this way. But there was no way to fix it, not unless Crosshair took the first steps.

Tech sat in the pilot’s seat, silent, brain trying to script what he could say to Crosshair to fix this, but there was no script for this pain, no script for what Crosshair had done to them and had tried to do, no script for what they had done to Crosshair, no script for the sheer encompassing malice and enormity of the Empire.

Tech, unable to sit still with his frustrating helplessness, continued work on one of his many projects, telling the others about it till they were annoyed, and past that. Though, Wrecker smiled at him through it, and Echo did seem interested for quite some time. Same with Hunter and Omega. But he knew he was too much sometimes. They listened anyway. Annoyance didn’t change anything about love. Tech was glad that after twenty minutes they at least pretended to listen; perhaps they had been doing it all along, not understanding what he was working on. He valued the questions Omega asked, and valued that they let him speak as long as he wished.

Yet Crosshair sat just outside the door, alone.

Would he have listened to Tech for some time as well? Had he tried to listen in?

Tech resisted the urge to check on him. Echo was handling that—Echo, who understood being used by an enemy to hurt his own brothers. Perhaps something would come of this.

His mind played over and over again, Do you not trust me?

Crosshair hadn’t tried to take their weapons, hadn’t hurt any of them once Kamino had been fired upon, and he had saved Omega. The evidence before Tech painted a confusing picture, one he would want to puzzle out, teasing out the knotted strands until everything was right again.

Do you not trust me?

Yes, yes, I do trust you.

[phoenixyfriend]

Accountant of Theed

Read on AO3

After all is said and done, someone needs to balance these books, and nobody actually told the accounting department how they paid for this new hyperdrive. Mimi really hopes it's not a loan from the Hutts.

Disclaimer: I am not an accountant, but I work in an adjacent field (and have been considering getting a certification, but that's neither here nor there). While I did take some courses on it, I asked an Accounting Person to look over the excel sheet before I went forward with the rest of the fic to make sure it's internally consistent. Thank you to @gnomer-denois for confirming my balance on these works!

The reconciliation sheet does NOT follow contemporary guidelines in terms of format etc, but that is because it is:

In space! Standard practice differs from Modern United States or what have you.

Not the primary balance sheet, just the simplified version made to show to Queen Amidala.

If you'd prefer to view the Excel sheet in a more easily navigable form, there is a google drive link available. This is also your best option if using a screen reader.

-----------------------------------------

Theed is safe. They are rebuilding. There is even financial support, aid, from the Republic.

It comes with strings attached. Oversight. Auditors.

Wouldn’t want Naboo to misuse funding after that nasty mistake with the Trade Federation, right? Sure, Naboo wasn’t the one at fault, but one can never be too careful...

Mimi, as an accountant for the government of Naboo, does not in fact want to commit fraud, or enable corruption, but the rolling audits do feel a little like the Republic is punishing them for getting invaded.

“Hey, boss?”

That tone. Mimi does not like that tone. “Please tell me it’s not another unauthorized purchase with a missing receipt. Which account did they pull from this time?”

“Um... we don’t know?”

Mimi gives them a moment. No elaboration is given.

“You don’t know?”

“We don’t know,” the younger employee repeats.

“What do you mean?” Mimi asks. “People charge things to accounts or cards. They forget to submit receipts. We hunt them down for receipts, and make sure nobody is skimming off the top. That’s how it goes. Unless this is a purchase on a personal and we need to reimburse—”

“Um, maybe?”

“In which—what? That’s just... okay. There’s a process for reimbursements. You aren’t following it, which means... what? What do you mean, you don’t know? Did they use cash, or pull from an account?”

The younger employee looks down at their datapad. Looks back up at her. Looks baffled and a little scared. “Um, it’s... we still don’t have a receipt, but we also don’t know where the money for it came from? But nobody’s put in a reimbursement request and I can’t imagine anyone on the mission had those funds on them, not even the Queen herself.”

“The money for what?”

“Um. It sort of just... showed up?”

“So, it’s some kind of gift?” Mimi presses.

“Too big,” the younger mumbles, refusing to meet her eyes. “It would have to be disclosed.”

“I am giving you five seconds—”

“It’s a hyperdrive!” they yelp.

“...Explain.”

“One of the mechanics was looking over the Royal Cruiser, and found that there was unrecorded repair work to the hyperdrive. The ship took enough damage during the escape that he wasn’t surprised, but then he noticed that it was from an earlier run of the part, and when he checked, the serial number was completely wrong. The hyperdrive was completely replaced.”

Mimi closes her eyes and takes a breath. “The mechanic doesn’t know?”

“He said there’s nothing in the records that matches it at all, and it’s a big enough part that there’s no way it would just slip through the cracks, not when it’s that expensive and going on the Royal Cruiser.”

“So,” Mimi says, “we have a part worth almost as much as the rest of the cruiser combined, that just... came out of nowhere, and nobody claiming for reimbursement.”

“Yes, ma’am. That’s what it looks like.”

Mimi has no interest in fraud.

“Find out who was piloting when Queen Amidala escaped, and see if they have any answers,” Mimi tells them. “If we can keep it to just the hangar staff without drawing in the Royal Retinue, it’ll be easier on all of us.”

“Here’s hoping, ma’am.”

(Continue on AO3)

[clone-anon-after-dark]

Clones with an Asexual / Acespec Partner Headcanons

I’ve never written headcanons on here before, but thought I’d give it a go.

Word Count: 2915

Warning and Author’s Note: Some discussion of sex.  Some asexuals have sex.  Also mention of sex-repulsion because some asexuals do not ever want to have sex and both are fine and good.  There are a lot of asexuals who are interested in partnership - romantic or not - so I thought I might write out some ideas about what that might look like with some clones

Included are Hunter, Tech, Echo, Wrecker, Crosshair, Mayday, Rex, Cody, Gregor, Wolffe, Fox, Kix, Hardcase, Fives, Jesse, Dogma, and Tup

Hunter

Hunter loves a partner who is passionate and wants to do the right thing.  He would never be with someone who doesn’t also have the Omega stamp of approval.  Domestic Hunter? Yes.  He loves the steps you’ve taken to have a home that is friendly to his senses.  No strong scents in the soaps or detergents. Blackout curtains. Towels, blankets, and sheets that are friendly to his sense of touch.  You showed your love by making your home friendly for him and he has never been more in love.  Hunter pays attention to other people and takes care of his family, so he was incredibly moved by someone caring about his needs in this way.  Hunter will do little things around the house to show you he cares about you.  You’ll come home to clean dishes, a tidied bedroom, or freshly cleaned clothes.  Sex might be too much for his senses and sometimes touch is too much in and of itself, so he strongly believes in communicating what you both need.  He’s always open to finding ways to express how much you care for each other and creating a stronger partnership.

Tech

Tech is acespec in some way.  He might rarely or never experience sexual attraction.  This man expresses his love best in quality time and acts of service.  You will want for nothing.  He might be too busy to think about feeding himself, but he will have an alarm to remind himself to pick up some food and make sure you eat.  He’ll eat with you and want to hear about your day or tell you about what he’s working on.  Besides researching topics of interest and fixing things, he loves going to museums and aquariums with you, watching documentaries, and sitting together in the same room reading.  If you want cuddle time? He’s open to it.  You’ll have to tell him the details of how to hold you and what you want and eventually he will start figuring out what he likes too.  Tech is open to experiences, so if you want to have sex for closeness or to satisfy your libido, he would try it.  “Physical urges and attraction are not the same thing,” he says.  He’s always understanding that some people don’t or rarely feel sexual attraction and for him, it’s just a matter of fact.  It doesn’t change how he feels about you.  If you never want to have sex, he is completely fine with it.  He wants to tell you about his latest project working on the hyperdrive anyway.

Echo

Echo loves your desire to fight for what’s right.  He loves how you care about people and he feels so at home with you.  Echo doesn’t like solitude so the biggest thing is going to be spending time together.  He loves reading.  Sitting together, snuggling on the couch or in separate chairs and reading something that interests each of you? Yes.  Do you like hanging out with his family and have a good sense of humor? Those are big things in his book.  

I know there are some theories that Echo only lost part of his legs and other people believe he lost everything from the waist down (plus his arm). But guess what it doesn’t matter.  In either case, Echo wants to be loved for who he is.  He wants to love you for who you are.  What you both can or cannot do physically doesn’t phase him.

Crosshair

Crosshair is protective of his heart and does not easily open up to others. He does not like vulnerability and that also means he also doesn’t get sexually intimate easily.  I think he’s at least demiromantic, needing to know someone before opening himself up to a relationship like that, so he understands not having certain types of attraction.  He does like physical touch once you are close enough, but that can mean all kinds of things.  He likes little private moments with you where you can steal away time together.  If you want to blow off some sexy steam together, he’s game, but never pressuring.  It’s more about closeness and sharing something with you that no one else gets.  If you aren’t interested, he likes to cuddle.  Sometimes he wants to be the little spoon and other times he wants to be the big spoon but he would never want anyone to know he’s a cuddler.  After all he’s been through, Crosshair wants to feel safe with you and protect and love you at the same time.

Wrecker

Wrecker loves to show his love with physical affection.  He loves hugs and holding hands and picking you up and twirling you around.  As long as you are okay with some kind of physical touch, he’s more than happy.  He loves when you fall asleep on top of him.  He loves watching holos with you, eating snacks, and cuddling.  If you want to have some sexy times, he’s game, but ultimately doesn’t need that.  He wants someone he can have fun with!

Jesse

Jesse is so incredibly sweet. He loves cuddling and pulling you in close to sit on his thighs.  The first time he does this he can tell you’re a little worried (maybe that he will try to take things further), so he is very reassuring, showing you he just wants to be close.  He loves touch, but only if it’s something you like too.  He likes consistency and so his primary desire in a relationship is someone he can trust and depend on and he also wants to be that for the person he’s with.  He understands that just because you don’t feel sexual attraction doesn’t mean you don’t love him.  There’s a reason you want to share your life with him, after all.  He lets you take the lead when it comes to any kind of physical touch, including sex.  He’s a lot of fun in bed if you go down that road for closeness or address your physical needs.  Otherwise, he loves cuddling in bed. He is most comfortable spooning and having an arm around you in some way.

Hardcase

While I don’t necessarily get ace vibes from Hardcase, I think he would be great with an ace partner. Especially if they are extroverted.  A typical day would involve waking up, eating quickly, and some kind of adventure.  Whether it’s getting up to shenanigans at a water park, or playing paintball, or spending the day at work for you and at the barracks for him, I see him happy to be busy.  I think he would love to come home and eat some good food. He loves take out.  He quickly realizes that you not wanting sex sometimes doesn’t mean he can’t have self-care time on his own.  If you like the idea, he would love for you to buy him a sex toy.  He sees it as a way to stay connected on that level without making you uncomfortable, which is the last thing he wants.  He is very open to learning what it means to be asexual, and quickly learns that not having sexual attraction doesn’t mean you have zero sex drive.  He loves taking the time to learn what makes you feel good physically and where the boundaries are.

Tup

Tup is a sweetheart who loves quality time with his partner.  He would love to explore hobbies like video games, baking, cooking, or anything with animals.  Tup loves anything that is relaxing and he is for sure a cuddler.  If you aren’t into touch, he likes things like sharing a blanket while sitting together or finding a happy middle ground like maybe holding your hand or sharing clothes.  If you want to satisfy your own urges together, Tup is absolutely up for it.  He thinks you’re incredibly sexy and gorgeous and likes to take his time and make you feel good.  

Dogma

Oh sweet Dogma.  This man loves rules and boundaries.  He loves knowing what is on and off limits because it makes him feel safe and secure.  He also feels loved when you want to know his own boundaries.  It shows him you care.  So Dogma doesn’t really care about what the actual boundaries are so long as he knows them.  He is quite nervous to initiate physical contact, even kissing, but he does say when he would like to try something.  He’s very communicative.  He does not mind if something is off limits. He just wants to show you love.  He takes up baking, loving the precision of measuring the ingredients, so you can expect treats every time he sees you.  When it comes to intimate relationships, Dogma knows there are many different ways to be intimate.  He wants to be understood and show you that you’re the one who has his heart.

Fives

Fives loves a good time.  It was something that drew you in from the beginning.  When he first asked you out, you couldn’t deny he had some kind of magnetism.  He was a total goofball.  He knew about your asexuality before you started dating. You might have been a bit surprised when he asked you out, but couldn’t say no.  Fives tells you right away that you can take the lead on anything physical.  He likes kissing, but especially loves hugs.  If you’re up for fooling around, he loves it. If you never want that, he understands.  He just wants to be with you.  It takes him a long time to admit that he would absolutely love to shower with you.  A hot shower helps him relieve stress and he sees it as a way to spend some relaxing time with you, but he doesn’t want it to seem like he’s asking for more, so he might need some reassurance once he brings it up.  Ultimately though, he loves quality time together.  There will joking, laughter, and joy.  Fives is also a wonderful friend and partner who you can trust.  While you wouldn’t necessarily have taken Fives to be very serious, he’s incredibly serious about your happiness and making sure you have every little thing you want.  If you’re having a hard day, he listens and holds your hand.

Kix

Kix loves being your partner.  He loves the domesticity of coming home and snuggling on the couch.  He might love doing some other things on the couch if you want, but he understands if you don’t want to.  He loves laying on the couch while you lay on top of him and watch holomovies.  He loves little kisses and holding hands.  He loves reading in bed next to you before falling asleep.  He’s also seen a lot during the war and carries a lot of grief.  He trusts you with his grief and sometimes he just needs someone to cry to about it all.  If you like romance or are in more of a romantic mood, he will go all out.  Favorite flowers, candy, foods, whatever you love.  He takes the time to learn your favorites for those occasions. You want slow kisses next time he’s on leave? He won’t stop thinking about it.  You simply want to collapse into someone’s arms? He wants nothing more than to provide those arms for you.

Gregor

Gregor is open to learning about anything, but his favorite topic is you.  He loves going out with you, dancing, and laughing.  He loves a good time.  If you’re shy, he finds a way to help you come out of your shell around him a little without pressing the issue.  He wants you to feel secure with him.  Gregor loves kissing and wouldn’t mind getting physical and when he asks about your boundaries going further, your heart sinks. You’re worried about where this is going and haven’t exactly told him about your sexuality yet. You quickly find that he just wants to express how he feels.  He asks a lot of questions about what it means for you to be asexual.  He’s inquisitive.  If you don’t want to have sex ever, he takes the time to hear how close you want to be and what feels safe to you.  He’s definitely not opposed to things like masturbating together if you want to go down that route sometimes.  Ultimately he realizes that his favorite thing to do with you is turn on some music and dance in the living room.

Wolffe

There’s actually a fic about this here.  Wolffe might be grumpy sometimes, but you make his life so much better and you get to see softer sides of him that no one else does.  You understand him and he appreciates your support.  He wants you to feel loved in the way that you want to be loved.  He is completely comfortable taking care of his sexual needs on his own.  He loves snuggling with you at night.  That’s his favorite.  He loves holding you and being held by you.  You’re comforting to him.  Before falling asleep, he likes chatting with you about how the day went and or reading a holonovel together.  

Rex

Rex is awkward around people in social situations, but you’re happy to help him navigate relationships.  He doesn’t think much about sex because frankly, he’d just like to make it through this conversation without getting lost in his own worry.  Over time he starts to relax more and you find that quiet time with the two of you is much preferred to going out.  He’s even nervous to hold your hand, but you tell him it’s totally okay.  Once he realizes how deep his feelings are, he has to speak with you.  He likes to know where things are headed and what kind of relationship you want. Queerplatonic? He quite likes that.  Or something with more of a romantic bend? Yes, sure, that could also work just fine too.  The only thing he really doesn’t want is to be with someone purely for the physical aspects.  His feelings toward his partner are so strong and he wants nothing more than to protect you and let you know he’ll always be there for you.

Cody

Snuggle king.  He is under so much pressure as a marshal commander and then later after the war, he’s dealing with a lot of mixed feelings about everything that happened.  He loves that he can be with you, go to bed or lay on the couch, and hang on to you. He likes little kisses on the top of his head while you hold him.  It helps him let go of stress and worry.  He can feel you right there with him and it’s the safest place in the galaxy.  You’re asexual? Great.  He just wants to love you the way you want to be loved.  You want romance? He will hold your hand and kiss the back of it.  You want domestic partnership? He will hug you and do your laundry. Do you need some space to yourself? That’s fine.  He will just be over here watching a holo and napping after buying groceries so you don’t have to worry about it.  You want a quickie to blow off some steam? He’s game.  You want to shower naked and wash each other’s hair and feel close that way? He’s good with that too.  You want to swap pillowcases while he’s gone so you can both feel close that way instead? He thinks that’s the best thing he’s ever heard.

Mayday

Mayday wants to be with you, preferably on a planet that rarely gets snow.  You fell for his dry sense of humor and how much he cares about the people he’s close to.  He worries about losing more people in his life, so he was cautious to approach you.  Once he realizes you’re around to stay, he starts to relax. Mayday likes to do little things to show he cares.  He really gets into cooking hot meals.  He loves making fresh soups and gardening.  When he starts baking bread you swear you will never buy a loaf ever again.  After all he’s been through, he’s happy to have the chance to be with someone and feel at home.  Getting physical? He likes hugs, cuddles, and kisses if you’re okay with it.  Just chaste kisses or little pecks on the cheek all you want? Absolutely.  Whether he addresses his own sex drive on his own or as a mutual endeavor (if you’re open to it) doesn’t matter to him.  It takes him a long time to open up in some ways, but once he does he’s always making sure you’re on the same page.  He will always cautiously wait until he gets a green light.

Fox

He’s just happy to come over to your place and sleep in a real bed.  This man is all about relaxation when he’s with you.  Whatever that looks like, he loves it.  It can be the simplest things, like having extra comfortable shorts to wear around your apartment, or folding laundry together before putting fresh sheets on the bed.  He feels so comfortable with you and that’s the most important thing to him.

Tagging: @kixs-husband @staycalmandhugaclone @wreckers-wife @dukeoftheblackstar