#yes there is an emotion here i feel it now.

[belqva]

— NO OTHER HEART ꪆৎ ˚⋅ [lando norris]

pairing: lando norris x reader

synopsis: you comfort lando after the events of the brazilian grand prix

word count: 0.8k

a/n: you know what they say the devil works hard but tumblr writers work harder! english is not my first language!! there isn’t much to say really the fic speaks for itself, I’m absolutely heartbroken for Lando 💔 as always my recs are open!

You step quietly from the bathroom, padding softly across the cool floor as you return to the hotel room you’re sharing with Lando. The evening Sao Paulo air hums faintly through the window, thick with the memory of a long, disappointing race. One night here before flying back to England, and it’s clear he’s wrestling with every second of it. The race weekend just… didn’t come together. Barely scraping into Q2, battling through a tough race, and ending P6 while Max took the win. His championship dreams seem to be slipping through his fingers like sand, fading at lightspeed.

You open the door gently, taking in the quiet expanse of the hotel room and finding Lando on the edge of the bed, his back to you, head buried in his hands. Tension radiates from him, heavy and unmoving, and it tugs at your heart.

Without saying anything, you step closer, placing a careful hand on his shoulder, light as a whisper. “Lan…” Your voice is soft, a thread in the quiet.

He lifts his head, meeting your gaze with an expression so blank, it’s like he’s hollowed out. No anger, no frustration—just this bleak emptiness that stirs something deep inside you. You sit beside him, keeping your arm wrapped around him, grounding him, holding him steady.

“Lando, I—” you begin, but he cuts you off, his tone edged with exhaustion.

“Please, I don’t want to talk about it.” He lets out a frustrated breath, and you feel his shoulder tense under your hand.

You turn to face him, gently coaxing his chin up to look at you. “Lando, I know you don’t want to talk. But ignoring it won’t make it go away.” Your words are quiet but firm, steady, because he needs that right now.

His gaze flickers, a brief flash of anger, though you know it’s not really aimed at you. “There’s nothing to fix, Y/N. It’s gone. All of it, because of my driving,” he snaps, the words tumbling out before he can catch them. His anger wavers, softening just at the edges, but it stings all the same.

You take a steadying breath, resisting the urge to match his frustration. Instead, you lean closer, voice gentle yet unwavering. “You don’t get it, Lando.”

He huffs, his tone almost mocking, almost defensive. “What don’t I get, huh? If you’re so smart, then explain it to me.”

The weight of his disappointment is heavy between you both, and for a second, you hesitate. But then you see it—behind the frustration, the anger, the shame. He looks like a kicked puppy, lost and vulnerable, and it breaks your heart.

“Lando, it’s not your fault,” you say, your voice firm but full of warmth. You feel him still, his eyes flickering as he processes your words. “It’s not. The team made mistakes, the setup wasn’t right. Yes, maybe you slipped up, but you gave it everything you had.”

He’s silent for a moment, staring down, lost in his thoughts. Finally, he mumbles, barely audible, “But it wasn’t enough.”

You take his face gently in your hands, forcing him to look at you. “Listen to me, Lando. I will love you no matter what. Championship or no championship, none of that changes how I see you. I love you if you’re rich, if you’re poor, if you’re old, if you’re tired. None of this changes what you are to me.”

Your voice wavers, a rawness creeping in as your own emotions surface. “This hurts me as much as it hurts you. Seeing you like this, feeling this pain—I wish I could take it away. But this is motorsport, Lando. This is Formula 1. It’s brutal, and it’s unforgiving, and I know you know that.”

His lips part, his eyes glossing with unshed tears as he finally allows himself to feel everything he’s been holding back. The first tear slips free, tracing a line down his cheek, and you open your arms. He doesn’t hesitate—he just collapses against you, burying his face in your shoulder, gripping you like you’re the last solid thing in a world that’s crumbling around him.

You stroke his hair, the familiar scent of him filling your senses as you hold him, feeling his silent sobs shake against you. “I will love you, Lando Norris, no matter what,” you whisper, voice thick with emotion. “I need you to know that. You’re my anchor just as much as I’m yours.”

You both stay like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, letting the silence speak louder than words. You bury your face in his messy curls, and together, you grieve the almost-end of a season that held so much promise. But despite everything—the heartbreak, the frustration, the unfulfilled dreams—the love between you is fierce and unwavering, a light that refuses to go out.

And in this moment, with the world shut out, you’re two pieces of the same soul, holding each other up, finding strength in the love you share. Because even when everything else falls away, even when the races are lost and the dreams go unrealized, you’re here. And that’s all that matters.

© COPYRIGHT BELQVA 2024

SHARING THIS, ANY OF MY OTHER WORKS OR A TRANSLATION OF THEM WITHOUT CONSENT ON THIS OR ANY OTHER PLATFORM IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN !!!

THIS IS JUST A WORK OF FANFICTION !!!

tags:

[daphwritesworld]

Chapter 1— For The First Time.

a/n: welcome to the Be My Baby series! i’m super excited to get started and work on this story! I’m thinking of publishing 2/3 chapters weekly if I can, but at least 1 will always come out. If additional ones are on the way i’ll make sure to update that on my upcoming post. thank you for your support and happy reading < 3

(p.s. sorry I didn't proof read this lol. I will later and edit any details that need touching up. This is already a few hours late tho, so I want to go ahead and get it out.)

content: Top!Leah, Bottom!Reader, bed humping, fingering (r receiving), teasing, talks of shoe humping, spit play, talks of previous sexual encounters, brewing sexual tension, and masturbation (both)

warnings: allusions to heavy dom/sub relationship, talks of injury, Leah busting her ass at practice, Leah making a fool of herself when she’s in shock, flirty!Leah deserves a warning on its own so here you go, calling reader a bitch & slutty once in a dominating way, semi-public sex, almost getting caught by Alessia, Leah accidentally knocking you on your ass lol

synopsis: You've arrived to your first day at Arsenal; your new club for the foreseeable future as head Athletic Trainer. A new country with promises of a new start awaits for you...until a familiar face disrupts your plans and throws you head first into a whirlwind of emotions and actions.

word count: 3.4k

!! 18+ MINORS DNI !!

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The crisp air of Shenley lites a whispered chill to cover you as you step out of the taxi. You pay the driver, wishing him a good day as you collect your bags from the cab. A deep breath makes its way from your chest and out your lips, gathering your bearings as you finally start to make your way inside. This is going to be a fresh start in a place no one knows you– exactly what you need. No expectations to meet or lingering gazes on and off the pitch. No drama or gossip floating around or eating lunch by yourself. Things are going to be different here.

You take in the scenery as you approach the Sobha Realty Training Centre, your new place of employment. The building feels like it’s going to swallow you, the tall white walls reminding you of the hospital as a familiar churn starts to turn in your stomach.

Breathe. Everything is going to be fine.

Your hand comes up to open the door, but it’s pulled from your grasp. You look up, eyes meeting a warm smile and kind eyes. You relax at her appearance, and even more at her friendly approach, “Hi, I’m Alessia! You must be Y/N, I assume?”

You find yourself mirroring her smile, a hand coming out to shake hers. “Yes, it’s lovely to meet you, Alessia! Sorry I’m late– I got lost and then I just ended up taking a taxi….London is a lot bigger than I expected…” you trail off as you realize you're rambling. Embarrassment sinking in as you look down to the floor.

“You’re totally fine! I think we all got lost on our first day, haha. That’s why I’m here to show you around, this place is huge when you don’t know it. Now follow me, new girl!” and just like that, she’s showing you everywhere possible. She shows you the cafeteria, weight rooms, bathrooms, locker rooms, and just about every tiny place to hide if you need a moment to yourself.

“I don’t mean to sound rude– but shouldn’t you be out on the field training with the others? Showing me around can’t possibly be more important with the Euro Finals coming up,” you say as you arrange your med bag for practice. The rest of your things are now stored in your brand new Arsenal locker you were shown, your name enraged into the gold plate marking your future. She laughs at that, pointing down towards her ankle that you now see is wrapped up. “Sprained it a week ago, so i’m benched. Swelling is still up so Coach won’t let me play on it yet, not even at practice.”

A laugh now comes out of you at her frustrated tone near the end. “Well, I have to agree. Until the swelling and all pain is gone you need to let it properly heal. We don’t need you hurting it worse!”

You feel a shove to your shoulder at that, zipping up your pack as you turn towards her now.

“Spoken like the true new head AT! See you're falling into place here already,” You give a shove back to her shoulder. Careful to do it lightly and not push her off balance with her injury. “Ready to meet the girls?”

You let out a sigh before nodding your head, “If they're all as nice as you I think I’ll be just fine.” And then you two are off, Alessia leading the way to your new team. You can feel your hands sweating as you get closer to the field in sight. All the girls training, the coaches, the other medical trainers under your watch…it’s all facing you at once as the past leaves your mind step by step. Like the shedding of skin on a snake, you're letting your anxieties fall from you as your passion for the job kicks back in. Like a flicker of flame– just waiting to ignite higher.

Your confidence is gaining with every blade of grass that passes beneath your feet. You know you're good at this. Hell you’re fucking amazing at this. Not many trainers could switch clubs– let alone countries for said club, in the middle of a season and still be Head AT…but you are that good. No matter what might’ve happened in Barcelona, you’re going to make sure you thrive here in London.

Well that is until your eyes meet hers. It’s like the wind gets knocked out of your chest– hers quite literally. The blonde’s eyes stay on yours, a furrowed brow taking over her face as she keeps running blind. Until she smacks face first into the goal post at full force, bright hair tumbling to the ground in a loud, harsh collapse. Your feet work faster than your brain, running over and immediately separating her from the net. You’re assessing her body, eyes frantically searching for any blood, bruises, cuts, or abnormalities. Your hands come to her ankles, pressing down as you look up at her face. “Does anything hurt? Stay lying down right now, your adrenaline might be blocking it out!”

“I'm Leah!” It’s rushed out, loud and with a voice crack. Her wide eyes staring up at you as she snaps a hand over her mouth afterwards.

If her teammates weren’t laughing before– they definitely are now.

A blush overtakes your cheeks as you put an arm around her waist, hoisting her to stand up with you. She throws one of hers around your shoulders as she regains her balance. “I’m taking her to the Med Room! Want to be sure she doesn’t have a concussion!”

You’re practically dragging her at this point, racing to get somewhere private because what in the actual fuck. "I'm Leah," She repeats her words from the field. "Yeah, I fucking know that!" you snap lightly on her. Mind still racing as you drag her down the building for a more private place to fully speak without worry. There is no way this is happening! Not to you– NOT NOW!! You push the Med Room door open with your back, and sit Leah up on the bed as you finally create some distance between you two. An accusing finger launching itself towards her as you move back to the middle of the room, “SINCE WHEN DO YOU PLAY FOOTBALL?”

“Nice to see you again, too, darling,” She’s smiling at you. That same one that got you hooked in Ibiza and agreeing to spend three weeks with a stranger. You almost get lost in it again– but you start shaking your head. “Oh no! No, no, no– don’t you darling me right now! How could you not tell me your-” your hand comes to pull at the band around her arm, “CAPTAIN! Of one of the best teams in all of Europe? And after spending all that time alone together, really?”

“First of all, we are not one of, we are the best in the world– thank you. Second of all, I don’t remember us talking much when we were together, if I can be honest. My mind tends to remember the more important details,” she licks her lips as she says it, eyes racking over your body as she recalls the memories to her mind. “And third of all, I don’t exactly remember you telling me you’re the highest paid AT in the sports field, so I guess we both kept some secrets. Huh, darling?”

“You are insufferable," you say as you take out your tiny flashlight, checking the reflexes of her pupils with it.

“Oh but that’s not what you were saying during those few weeks we spent together.”

“Leah!” Your face scrunches up as your fists ball up at your sides. Giving her the best glare you can muster up.

“Y/N! Don’t do your face like that– it’ll get stuck,” a laugh breaks out of her mouth as she says it. Poking at your face to relax your muscles there.

“Can you be serious for like two seconds, this is bad!” You rub your hands down your face. Trying to relieve the headache starting to form between your eyes.

"Oh calm down, would you! No one knows, okay? I didn't tell anyone about our time together. I swear!" She sticks her pinky out towards you, and you somehow find yourself laughing back this time as you extend your own to interlock with hers. It's then you know you've messed up. Her skin lights yours up the same way it did a year ago— you two hidden away on the tropical Spanish paradise. Days were spent exploring the island and endless nights spent exploring each other's bodies.

You don't even notice how close you two have drifted until her thighs are closing in around your middle, trapping you against the medical bed and her upper body. Your face flushes as you freeze in place, brain already too fuzzy for you to register that you should pull away. You can’t stop thinking back now– flashes of memories whizzing by in your head as you zone out, eyes lingering on her lips subconsciously. She must think that’s an invitation, because after a few seconds one of her hands comes to the back of your neck, pulling you into a searing kiss. You kiss her back at first, chasing the spark that ignites from her lips.

But then you remember where you are, and more importantly why you are even here. You got to pull away, hands coming up to her chest to push and create some space. She doesn’t budge though, a tiny moan slipping from your lips as you remember the depths of her strength. She smiles into the kiss at that, and you take the opportunity to breathe the words out against her lips. “Le-Leah we shouldn’t be d-doing this. We c-can’t…”

Her other hand tickles the waistband of your shorts, a light chuckle vibrating her chest as she pulls away to look you in the eyes. “I’ll stop if you really want me to, but I think we both know you want this more than me. Don’t you, darling? Otherwise you wouldn’t be humping the edge of the bed like a bitch in heat.”

You look down, not even realizing how you'd started rubbing your covered cunt against the medical bed. Your hips stutter to a stop as you try to back away from the cot, embarrassment filling your body at her catching you red handed. A finger lifts your chin up as her eyes lock to yours, a chill running down your spine as you cling to her every move. She runs her hand still sitting at your waist down to your hip, slipping under your shorts as goosebumps break out across your skin from her touch. “Don’t get shy on me, now. Not after I’ve seen you cum from grinding on a shoe.”

“Okay! Don’t act like you didn’t tell me to do it– no DEMAND it!” you move closer, pointing your finger into her chest now as you argue the claim.

“Mhm you’re right, Y/N…but you’re the one that did it. Got down on your knees,” she grips the hair at the back of your neck as she yanks your head back. “And rubbed your slutty pussy all over my Louboutins until you ruined them with your cum.” She brings her face down closer to yours, “Now open your fucking mouth.”

You do as she says, and you're met with a glob of her spit landing on your tongue. You swallow it before she even has to tell you, groaning out as you thank her for giving it to you. Her hand on your hip starts slipping around to your front after she feels you grinding forward again, giving you her fingers instead of the small spring mattress. You moan out as soon as they glide across your clit, an electric feeling breaking out across your body. You know this is wrong, and you’ll definitely chastise yourself later…but until then you’re gonna beg her to fuck you.

“Please give me your f-fingers! W-wanna cum for you, Le!” The distantly familiar nickname falls from your lips effortlessly and it fuels a fire inside Leah’s chest. She slides her hand farther into your shorts, instantly slipping two fingers inside of you at the start. Her palm is fitting your clit perfectly, and after a few minutes you can hear the squelching of your pussy from underneath your shorts. You can feel her curling, scissoring, and twisting the fingers inside of your cunt. Your legs are about to shake as you feel your orgasm start to build, moans increasing as your chest rises and falls faster. You can’t focus on anything other than Leah. That’s all your mind can think of: Leah, Leah, Leah…

Thank god she’s paying attention though. Because next thing you know she’s pulling her hand out of your shorts and pushing you back away from her so hard you fall on your ass. You let out a yell of shock as you go tumbling backwards, landing with a pretty loud thud onto the cold tile floor.

Before you can scream at her to explain what the fuck her problem is– the door is swinging open. Alessia barging in as she runs over to Leah. Stopping in her tracks as she almost topples over you. She comes to stop in a screeching halt, sticking a hand out to help you up. “What the hell are you doing on the floor?” She says as she drops your hand once you're back standing. “Well if you must know, Leah’s being stubborn and wouldn’t let me sit on the med bed with her because I’m benching her for practice until she gets her head checked by a CT scan.”

“YOU'RE BLOODY WHAT?” She screeches out at the realization.

“See she can’t even remember I already told her that! Definitely needs a ct,” you know you’re lying through your teeth…but fucking with Leah is too fun. No way you were telling her she’s benched when she had you on the verge of the first orgasm you’ve had…well, since the last time you saw her.

“What the hell even happened out there, Leah?” Alessia asks, a laugh busting out of her chest as she recalls the captain’s wipe out.

“I was lost in my head and just..oh god I’m never living this one down am I?”

“Oh god no! You should’ve heard the noise you made when you hit the pole– I've never heard that come out of a human being before, or any living thing for that matter!” She has tears welling up in her eyes now as she recalls the events.

You sneak out as the two blonde’s get lost in their laughs and conversation. The locker room is empty as you collect your things, humming a song under your breath as you make quick work of packing up. You’re walking out to the parking lot when you finally let yourself think of what just happened, fingers coming up to brush against your lips. You find yourself smiling, wiping it off your face when you notice. No, Y/N. Stay professional. This. cannot. happen again. Push it down.

You pull out your phone to order a new cab before a familiar voice grabs your attention. “I’m afraid there aren’t many cabs on this side of town at this time of night. I can give you a ride though. Only if you want, of course…But such a gorgeous girl as yourself? You really shouldn’t be walking home alone.”

You turn, forgetting the words you told yourself not even 5 minutes ago. Nodding your head before you fully process the request. You’re going to be alone in a confined space with her? FUCK. You folded quicker than a lawn chair for the blonde footballer not even 10 full minutes ago….Lord give you strength for this 20 minute drive.

She opens the door for you, holding an intense eye contact as she closes it as well. Her car smells like the leather seats and the piney notes of her perfume. A perfect mix that has you rubbing your thighs together, trying to dull the ache she never got to quell. She climbs into the drivers seat, setting up her aux before she's handing you her phone open onto her maps app.

You quickly type in your new address before the navigation is breaking through the speakers and leading you to your destination. The ride isn't awkward, filled with easily flowing conversation. You're so lost in it you don't even notice you've made it to your flat. Not until the gps is yelling out "Arrived at Destination."

You try to hide your disappointment as you grab your bags, saying a thank you as soon many questions hang in the air between you two. "Can I walk you up? Promise I won't make a move, just want to make sure you get inside okay." She throws her hands up in a defensive mode.

"Yeah, I'd like that," you push down the large part of your brain that is telling you to stop this dynamic. To kill it before it can manifest…but you don't listen to it. You let her take your hand as she walks you into your buildings elevator, and you let her kiss you soft and slow as the floors ding past you both. It's different from any kiss you've shared before, and that kind of scares you.

It scares you even more at your door, where she tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear and kisses you like that again. She's kissing you like she has something to prove…you're not quite sure what that is just yet…but you sure as hell want to find out. The first time Leah blew into your life, it was at a time of transformation. It was brief but truly wonderful, and now the universe is sitting her right in fucking front of you for a second time.

She's the first one to pull away from your lips this time. A smile pulling at her lips as she ducks back in to steal one more peck, and then she's backing away slowly. Her hands pulling yours with hers as she tries to leave you as slowly as possible. "Goodnight, Y/N."

You can't help the smile you break out into at the gesture, looking down as you blush slightly from the innocent statement. She's playing with your fingers now, and you're trying to memorize hers for the foreseeable future. "Goodnight, Le. And thank you for today. Always the gentleman…when you want to be."

She pushes your shoulder at that, "Oi! I'm always a gent!"

You blush as you think more about the Ibiza trip, "I would beg to differ."

She genuinely laughs at that, picking your hand up to her mouth to leave a kiss on your knuckles. You say goodnight to each other one last time before she leaves down the hall, watching her disappear into the elevator before you go inside your apartment. You both don't know it yet, but you end up finding the same resolution to your problems tonight.

As you both lay awake drowning in endless thoughts of each other, you can't help but slip a hand into your shorts. You're rubbing at your over sensitive clit, imagining it's Leah as you work yourself up. You haven't had time to buy any toys since you moved here, but you don't need them right now. Not when she's got you so wound up from barely any touch.

Meanwhile the blonde captain is slipping her trusty vibrator between her legs to stimulate her clit, the pretty pictures she has of you from Ibiza currently being viewed in her hand. From the one of you being blind folded in her hotel bed to the one of you bent over the railing of her private yacht— she can't stop the new filthy images of you from popping into her head. She's got to have you again, and not just for sex this time.

Leah hasn't stopped thinking of you since the trip, mind clouded with day dreams of you two creating a life together. She's been laughing it off, thinking she's delusional because she'll never see you again…but that disappears when you come waltzing back into her life. She knows now she can't waste this second chance. No matter how long or what all it takes: Leah Williamson is going to make you her girl.

[chaos-in-deepspace]

LADS Zayne: I Knead You | SFW

This was just a quick writing warm up, because I was playing the event (has no spoilers in here) and I just...give Zayne a pet cat. He deserves one. The title is from a song my friend shared with me when I was trying to come up with what to call this.

(Also sorry if there's typos, they're paid actors)

❧ Pairings: Zayne x Reader ❧ Warnings: None ❧ Synopsis: You come home, and you brought home a new addition to your little family with Zayne. ❧ Word Count: 1.3k

Disclaimer: This is an original fan work for “Love and Deepspace”. Do not repost on other platforms or plagiarize. All characters shown in this fic is 18+.

Blog Information | Masterlist

Zayne

I Knead You

It wasn’t often that Zayne found himself getting concerned by something you did. For the most part, he was used to your antics. You would always do something to keep him on his toes, and it brought a sense of excitement to his life. Today, however, was bringing more concern than any other emotion.

It was as though the moment he said, “Welcome back,” he found himself regretting it. Watching as you walked backward into the home with something in your hands made him wonder what you did. The way your shoulders had also tensed up wasn’t doing much, and then the gentle ‘meow’ from your arms solidified in his head, which is precisely why you had come home so late today.

“What’s in your hands?” Zayne said with a sigh, already knowing the answer but needing you to confirm it.

“I’ll tell you, but you have to promise not to be mad.” You said, not turning around just yet. You were facing away from him with the creature firmly pressed against your chest as if trying to keep it calm and quiet.

“I won’t get bad, but I make no promises on being disappointed in your actions.” He said, a ghost of a smile already on his lips. You were acting like a child right now who did something they definitely weren’t supposed to do. You were aware of this as well, but you honestly had a feeling if you had straight up asked him to do this, he’d say no. If he had seen it in your arms already, the chances of keeping the creature would have been higher.

In truth, you had already spoken to Yvonne about the situation, and she claimed she had been thinking about getting a cat. You had asked her if Zayne says no to keep it and if she’d be willing to. Of course, she said yes, excited about the prospect, and if Zayne happened to be fine with keeping a new pet, then she’d just go out and get her own, and you would set up kitty play dates.

“Okay, see, I think being disappointed is ten times worse, but I think that’s the best imma get out of you so…” You finally turned around to show Zayne the orange tabby in your arms. The small cat let out a confused ‘mew’ noise as it looked around the nice house. Zayne took a moment to stare and shook his head, letting out a small sigh.

“If you had wanted a cat, we could’ve discussed it.” He said, already standing up from his spot on the couch. He placed his laptop on the coffee table as he got closer to you. The cat in your arms is wriggling a bit at hearing someone and smelling the subtleness of Zayne’s aftershave in the air. It was clear the man had been ready for bed, wearing some pajamas with his hair still slightly damp; he had been waiting for you to come home, “We don’t even have cat supplies.”

“Oh see, that’s where you’re wrong.” You said with a chuckle. Zayne looked confused for a moment as you placed the little fur ball into his arms. The cat immediately began curling into him, nuzzling its face against his chest as if Zayne had always been its owner. “Come, follow.” You said, and Zayne found himself doing just that, following you through his own house to the guest bedroom he had set up.

When you opened the door, he saw a variety of cat supplies: toys, a bed, a few cat trees, treats, and food. Of course, he hadn’t checked the guest room; he never had a reason to, judging by how it was rare for a guest to say the night. It used to be for you, but you had long since evolved in your relationship and now shared the same room.

“What brought this on?” He said he was going to pet the cat. The small tabby began batting at his hand as if he were playing with it, and he found himself going alone, moving a finger around for his paws to tap at it. He was a bit surprised when it didn’t try to use its claws on him, and it even seemed comfortable being in his arms.

“Well…after that photo shoot last month, I just thought…maybe it was time to expand the family.” You said with a subtle blush. You and Zayne weren’t married, not by a long shot, but you acted like a married couple of 20 years most of the time. So, of course, you had thought of the two of you as a small family at this point. Zayne’s eyes widened a bit in surprise before going back to the usual, relaxed demeanor he had around you.

“So this has been on your mind for a while then?” he asked, slowly letting the cat down onto the floor. The small tabby began wandering off into the room, probably to explore some things while you two talked.

“Yes, it has been…so can we keep him?” you asked, and Zayne had a hard time saying no. Thankfully, you hadn’t brought home a puppy, or he’d be turning down the offer so much faster. Cats could be independent for long hours of the day, and if needed, they could set up an automatic feeder for nights when they’d both be coming home late.

“We can…have you named…him?” Zayne asked, unsure as to the gender of the cat. You giggled as you looked at the cat and then back at him.

“Figured if you said yes, we could brainstorm some names together.” You said, grabbing a small name tag that was blank. You’d have to go to the pet store to have it engraved later, but you placed it in his hand. He moved it around like it was a coin and gave you a small, knowing look.

“So you wanted to name our new child together?” the way he said it had your entire face going hot. You cleared your throat as you nodded.

“Yes, after all, he’s our kitty. I chose him specifically for us. He’s perfect in every way.” You began, and then Zayne heard a small thump as the cat ran into the bed frame. The small cat looked at it, using its paws to look over the frame, “It’s a bit quirky. It runs into a lot of things. It actually ran into my leg in the shelter and then the glass window. It was funny, and I loved him.”

“You bought a blind cat,” Zayne said as the realization dawned on him.

“I bought a blind cat. He didn’t like to eat his carrots.” You were trying so hard not to laugh at the statement. While the cat wasn’t fully blind, the person at the shelter did warn you that his eyesight wasn’t very…good.

Zayne was silent for a moment before grabbing your waist and pulling you closer. He put his forehead on yours as he looked at you, “Is this a warning about my future?” he asked, a subtle smile on his lips.

“Would you eat carrots if I made it into cake form?” You asked, then jumped slightly, your body pressing into Zayne’s as the cat suddenly began rubbing against your leg. You heard Zayne chuckle as he let you go and opted to scoop the cat back into his arms. The cat seemed to enjoy being held as it immediately relaxed into his grasp, once again nuzzling against him.

“I’m fairly certain carrot cake gets rid of all the nutritional benefits of the actual carrot.” He explained, and you hummed.

“It probably does, but that doesn’t answer my question.” You said, your voice still taking a teasing edge.

“It’s a no from me.”

“Rude.”

If you comment on this fic and leave notes, I ask kindly that you don't discuss Zayne being a father. Pregnancy and children make me uncomfortable.

[sosa2imagines]

Follower celebration

Dad!Bucky suggestion: Bucky with his newborn son/daughter (you decide) marvelling at what he helped create and talking to them about things. (Again, you can decide) and rocking them to sleep.

Lame I know, sorry.

Hi firstly it is not lame at all! I love the suggestion, thank you so much.

Warnings- Fluff.

Bucky's journey to finding love and starting a family was unexpected. He had spent so much time believing that his past mistakes had left him undeserving of happiness or a family of his own. The idea of having a child, let alone finding a partner who could love him, seemed like a distant fantasy

But then you had come into his life like a ray of sunshine, breaking down his walls and showing him what it was like to love and be loved in return.

And yet here he was, holding a tiny bundle of joy in his arms - his 'angel' his son, he had created with you, the love of his life.

As he looked down at the newborn, he couldn't help but marvel at the fragility and strength of this little life he held. The emotions swirling through him were unlike anything he had ever felt before, a mix of awe, love, and a deep sense of protectiveness.

Bucky took it upon himself to take on the night duties, insisting that you needed rest after the childbirth. You insisted that you were fine, but he was adamant, gently shooing you away to bed.

In the quiet hours of the night, the world outside seemed to hold its breath. Bucky sat in the rocking chair by the window, gently cradling his newborn son. The moonlight cast a soft glow on the baby’s face, highlighting their son's delicate features. Bucky marvelled at the tiny life in his arms, a mix of awe and gratitude filling his heart.

Bucky gently stroked his son's soft hair, smiling as he gazed at his newborn in the pale moonlight.

“Hey there, little angel,” he whispered, his voice soft and tender. “You have no idea how much you mean to us. Your mom and I, we dreamed about you for so long. We wanted you so bad. And now, here you are.”

He paused for a moment, the weight of the situation settling in. The baby stirred slightly in his arms, opening his eyes for a brief moment before closing them again.

Bucky continued to rock the chair, each movement sending a gentle, soothing rhythm through the room. He looked down at his angel, the small bundle wrapped up in a soft blanket in his arms.

“You know, I did bad things,” he started, his voice barely above a murmur. “Things I never wanted to do. I didn't think I'd ever have something like this. There were times when I didn't know if I'd make it through the day.”

He paused for a moment, his gaze drifting as the memories flooded back, before he pushed them away and continued.

“But then I met your mom,” Bucky said, a soft smile playing on his lips. “And everything changed. She saw past all the darkness, all the things I thought defined me. She saw something worth saving, worth loving.”

The baby stirred in his arms, opening his eyes once again, as if listening intently to his father's words. Bucky gently caressed his son's cheek, marveling once again at the miracle he was holding.

The baby gurgled softly, his tiny fingers grasping onto Bucky’s thumb. Bucky’s smile widened and he felt a wave of warmth wash over him.

Bucky chuckled softly, reminiscing about the days when you were still pregnant with their child. He looked down at the baby in his arms and said, a hint of nostalgia in his voice,

“I used to talk to you daily, when you were inside your mom's tummy. I know you could hear me.”

He paused for a moment, his eyes soft as he recalled the countless conversations he had had with his unborn son, hoping his words would provide comfort and connection.

Bucky's heart melted as the baby, still asleep, seemed to respond to his words by giving a slight smile. It was as if the baby was saying, 'Yes, I heard you.'

Bucky couldn't help but chuckle, feeling a mix of love, pride, and just a hint of wonder at the bond he was already forming with his son.

He looked down at his son, “You’re a miracle, you know that? Your mom, she’s the strongest, most incredible person I've ever known. And you... you're our little piece of heaven.”

Bucky continued to rock, his mind filled with a mix of memories of the past and hopes for the future.

He looked down at his son, and said softly, “There’s so much I want to teach you, so many things we’re going to do together. We’ll explore the world, and I’ll tell you stories about your uncle Steve, about how brave and kind he is. Especially your annoying uncle Sam.”

The mention of Steve and Sam brought a small, nostalgic smile to his face.

Bucky's voice cracked slightly with emotion as he continued.

“But most of all, I want you to know how loved you are. Your mom and I, we’ll always be here for you, no matter what. You'll never have to face the world alone.”

He swallowed, trying to push down the lump in his throat. The baby gurgled again, as if sensing the change in Bucky's demeanor. Bucky chuckled softly, running a finger over the baby's tiny hand.

The baby’s eyes fluttered closed with an adorable smile, lulled into sleep by the gentle motion and the sound of Bucky’s voice. Bucky looked down at his son, a sense of peace washing over him. “Sleep tight, little one. Dream sweet dreams.”

The night wore on, and Bucky remained by the window, holding his son close. Outside, the world continued to turn, but inside, within the quiet sanctuary of their home, time seemed to stand still. In that moment, everything felt perfect.

“Thank you,” Bucky whispered, looking up at the sky. “For giving us this chance. For giving me this family.”

And as the first light of dawn began to break, Bucky closed his eyes, content in the knowledge that he was exactly where he was meant to be. With his son in his arms, and his heart full of love, he knew they were ready to face whatever the future held.

TAGLIST- @imyourbratzdoll @blackhawkfanatic @ordelixx @sapphirebarnes @ilovetaquitosmmmm

@differenttyphoonwerewolf @vicmc624 @thezombieprostitute @nekoannie-chan

@mrvl-addict @mercurial-chuckles

@emerald-writes @caplanbuckybarnes

@redbloodedgurl @cjand10 @chemtrails-club @slutforchrisjamalevans @gracescor3

@ghostlythinggoingaround @princezzjasmine @3xclusivemariii @ephemeral-oasis @zuri-767-666

@geeky-politics-46 @dexter99 @calwitch

@caplanreblogsfics @winterslove1917

@pono-pura-vida @renegadesgirl1991 @iwudbutnah @ghalouha @sebastians-love @saranghaey @greatmistakes @baw1066

@bucks-babe @lolzies123r @kandis-mom @purplecolordeer @avioletkurt

@unaxv @pattiemac1 @lovely-geek @hzdhrtss

[kindaasrikal]

Inspired by that post from @/sand-jam because the way i screamed when i saw it

So what do you do when your previous abuser who took away your free will and forced you to commit horrendous actions through your own hands, and who used too look so powerful, so big and larger than life itself, is suddenly a child. When that man you once remember was always just some kid. Some kid who could’ve been different, who could’ve been a friend, family. How do you react when that child is still the one who hurt you, regardless of how much smaller he is now?

Okay actual rant here but i was gonna add some more to this but i got impatient but i WILL comeback and add those little things and post this again, or replace the images.

Sand jam’s post actually made me scream because YES i think if they acknowledge the fact that Morro is now younger than the ninja it would be a great point of development. Because one, this is still the guy who hurt you tremendously and pretty much mentally abused you first weeks on end. This is still the guy who had amazing strength, strategy, and control on both the battlefield and outside of it. This is still a man who was a threat, and is potentially an even worse one with more training over the years under his belt, even without the element. But, two, this is now also some kid who is the same/similar age as your students, one who ran away just like how he did, and someone who is no longer on the path of evil but simply wants to rest now. Someone who regrets and feels guilty but was never taught how to handle such emotions, let alone any at all. This kid in front of Lloyd and the man that is in Lloyd’s memories are still the same person, but one grew from what he once was. How do you deal with that. Why do you have to deal with that again?

Seriously the angst between them would be perfect because it would be so complicated.

PHHH NOOOO I FORGOT TO COLOUR TWH MOITH

Ill do that in the morning.

If im being perfectly honest this isn’t really morro’s new design in my style i rushed it, i’ll do a proper one soon.

To be honest i was struggling on the faces and their expressions, especially lloyds so if his face overall looks weird just ignore it.

[siriuslylu]

𝙄 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙞𝙩 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 - 𝗷𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗹𝘂𝘀 𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗶𝗰 - word count: 746

Regulus is not used to sharing his feelings outloud, is not that he doesn’t feel things, it’s just that he was raised in a very closed household, never getting kind words from his parents, not being able to tell Sirius because that was a sign of weakness.

So is not that he doesn’t feel love, is just he’s not used to expressing it loud and proud like James does.

But he’s been wanting to say this for a long time, he’s been holding onto this for far too long, James deserves to know, and he deserves to be able to say it without feeling like he’s doing something wrong.

He knows it’s mutual, but James won’t say it first, because he doesn’t want Regulus to feel pressured, into either feeling it or reciprocating. What James doesn’t know is that he’s very much reciprocated, and Regulus has been biting his tongue for a long time already, fighting his inner demons, trying to push his mother’s voice out of his head making him backtrack every time.

The thing with Regulus is that, when he does show his emotions, he gets all flustered and awkward, and so he’s mistaken for being angry or upset. So it’s quite funny to Evan and Barty when they find him in front of a mirror practicing saying those three words, with a deep frown and a little bit meaner than it should be. In return, they get hexed, but it was worth it since it’ll never happen again in their lifetimes.

So now, here he is, laying on the grass with his boyfriend, late at night, watching the stars. James is asking him about constellations, and Reg decides this is it.

”James”

”Yeah?”

”I-“

But words won’t come out

”I want… I feel…”

”Yes?”

James turns his head, looking at him softly, and the moment he stares back, he feels suddenly calm, because this is what loving James Potter feels like, is tranquility, is feeling safe, and loved, and cared, is feeling like you could do anything in the world. Still, he looks back at the sky and points to his star.

”Regulus, right there, it’s the brightest star in the Leo constellation. It’s also known as “the heart of the lion”, and every year, the sun meets up with it, and we kind of rise and fall together”

He looks at James for a minute, finding nothing but pure love in his eyes.

”You and me, we are not only meant to be together on Earth, but also in the sky, forever, and I’ll always be your heart, and will shine brighter than anyone, to make you feel cared” he looks up again, swallowing a lump because he can’t say it looking right at him, what if he laughs at him?

”Reg…” James says breathless

”I love… you… James”

”Reg” gasps again

“If you don’t…”

”I do! Oh Merlin, I so do!”

”Well then?” getting all nervous and frowning now “say it back”

He hears James laughing at his side, oh he knew this was bound to happen, he-

“Regulus.”

He stops, because he was gonna flee, fight or flight they say, but he could never fight James.

”Look at me”

He does

”Regulus Arcturus Black, don’t you dare tell me you love me and escape from me”

He says grabbing his hand, turning to his side and caressing his cheek as if it’s the most precious thing to exist

”I love you Reg, you’ll always be my entire heart, my brightest star, and I want to rise and fall with you every day for the rest of my life, not just for a while.”

”Really?”

”Really. Would you say it again?”

”No” looking up flustered, James only exhales a laugh, but then “Yes, I love you”

”I love you”

Silence, the comfortable one, the one you enjoy because it’s filled with everything he can’t say just yet, but they both know already, he might not be able to fully express how he feels, but he’s trying, because his boyfriend deserves it and he does too, and he’s allowed to feel, so he turns and leans in, and places the softest kiss, because there’s nothing he loves more than kissing James Potter, except maybe James Potter himself

”I’m so telling Sirius you said I’m your brightest star, he’s gonna lose it”

”Reg! No! Please!”

He laughs before being trapped in his lover’s arms, and he’s shinning when they conjunct, they both are.

[s-awturn]

Just For Today || FC43

summary: They only needed one day. Nothing more.

cw: anguish, comfort, silly enmity, hidden feelings, emotional support. It follows the same timeline as “Natural Enemies”.

a/n: yes, another drabble with Franco, does anyone think it's bad?

“I don't have the patience for your silly jokes, Y/N,” he said, his drawl heavy on every word. The girl rolled her eyes and sat down next to him, taking a chocolate bar out of his raincoat pocket.

“Shut up and eat, no one gets sad over chocolate, idiot,” she said, pushing a small piece of the candy against his lips. Franco swallowed the chocolate in surprise, it wasn't exactly what he was expecting when she invaded his room; They both ate in silence, watching the rest of the race on the TV attached to the wall. “You know it would have been fine if it hadn’t been raining, right?” she muttered, still chewing on the chocolate. Franco shrugged, taking another bite of the treat.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, I’m already out,” he retorted.

“Oh, shut up, Colapinto,” she said, hitting his shoulder with a stinging slap. “It’s your first season in Formula One, and you already have points, something your predecessor didn’t manage to do... Not that I want to compare you and Logan, but do you see what you did? You're great, even if you're Argentinian.”

“Why are you doing this? you hate me”

“Uh yeah, I hate you and only I can bring you down... You're going to have a lot of bad races, you're going to quit in the middle of the race or you're not even going to participate, and it's okay, these things happen, you can't weaken now” she squeezed his thigh, emphasizing her words “look where you've come, you're racing in the highest category of racing, you overtook Lewis Hamilton today, Franco, stop with this impostor syndrome, you have many races ahead of you, this is just one of many others”

“Why are you really doing this, Y/N?” he finally turned around, facing the girl. The Brazilian girl appreciated the lines the balaclava had made on his face and how beautifully messy his curls looked.

“Because you deserve to be here, Franco,” she was sincere, watching him swallow noisily, “As much as any other idiot out there and I won’t allow you to think about giving up.”

“You are strange”

“It’s my best quality,” she assured. “For today, I don't hate you, let's pretend we don't hate each other... Just for today”

“Just for today,” he said, even though he knew he hadn’t hated her for a long time. Y/N made him lay his head on her lap and absentmindedly, she slid her fingers through his hair, recording every detail of his profile, or how his expensive perfume seemed more intense there in that little room. For just one day, she allowed herself to show what she really felt, just for today.

[ragnarokhound]

thinking fondly of you<3 want to ditch the kids and go to a winery this weekend? (drink some red wine(supernova))

also thinking fondly about jaytim. specifically, about how oftentimes we think of them as a slow burn… but you know what might make them a fast burn (an explosion?)?

one of them gets kidnapped and everyone thinks they’re dead:( but then they’re alive

Always, love, I'm sure they'll be happy to spend some time with their favorite familial babysitters, I'll give them a call tonight🍷💥

And OUGH. Yes. SUCH a classic action hero hurt/comfort trope, I'm always here for mortal peril being the trigger that forces a couple to realize what they mean to each other and that they WANT to take that chance!!

I am reminded strongly of one of feyburner's comics that I love so much... in this comic they were hooking up beforehand and this is the scenario that like. Makes it emotionally REAL for Tim and i love that sooo much... but also OwO

thinking about The Scenario:

One of them is kidnapped. Due to inspo in part from feyburner's comic, I'm thinking Jason. But it's been so long/the method in which he was taken leads everyone to believe that Jason's dead. EVERYONE. Tim included. Thinking that he's dead hits Tim harder than expected. Why? It doesn't make sense. I didn't even like him that much, what the fuck.

But he goes after the bastards who did it twice as hard, ridden by this sharp grief he didn't know he would feel. He's on a warpath. He's chasing down leads, shaking down goons, snapping at everyone that it doesn't matter that Jason's already dead this is about justice this is about vengeance this is about preventing it from happening again-- and finally finds the Organization's big base. Their big HQ.

Methodically he goes about tearing it down, one-man guerrilla style. As he moves through the complex, KO'ing goons, sabotaging weapons and computers, hell he might even rig this place to blow--

He picks up chatter about moving the 'livestock' and 'dealing with the troublemaker' and figures there must be human prisoners here. Possibly trafficking victims. He's been raising all kinds of hell, and security is just now going on alert as they find the evidence of his entry--

--when over one of the radios on the goons he just took out, Tim hears a very familiar and very alive voice taunting the Organization that he's out. They should have killed Jason when they had the chance.

Tim immediately factors Jason and the victims into his plans, gets in contact with Jason over the radio (full mission mode, no time for feelings or explanations yet) to work together on bringing this place down.

So by the time things are cleared up-- bad guys busted, victims rescued, base blown to smithereens-- Tim has been wildly coming to grips with the fact that Jason is alive after all and the confusing rush of emotions that's inspired in him, but Jason still has no idea that everyone thought he was dead.

So when Tim finally sees Jason in person, missing half his gear and still wearing the clothes he was snatched in, dirty and bloody and asking what took him so long-- he's not exactly thinking clearly, okay? Kissing him was a purely adrenaline/relief fueled action.

"Woah," Jason breathes once Tim gives him the chance. "What was that for?" "Thought you were dead," Tim muffles against the skin of Jason's throat. His pulse beats hard against Tim's cheek, his lips, sternly refuting the allegations. "Oh," Jason says, bowled over and bewildered. He's still holding Tim with an arm around his waist, his other hand cupping the back of his head, big and steady. "Well. I'm not." Tim squeezes tighter, his fists trembling in the back of Jason's shirt. Jason is solid, and warm, and alive-- and Tim might be in love with him. "Yeah," he apologizes. "Sorry. Had to check." Tim's clearly stumped him. "Huh." Tim doesn't let go. But neither does Jason. Jason clears his throat. "You know, I don't have the best track record with being alive after all," he says in a rambling tone so casual it makes Tim's chest hitch. "You maybe wanna... check again?"

[glade-constellation]

Okay, finally about to get all my thoughts down after yesterday’s episode. I’m going to start with Moon since he’s being the one most talked about.

This is going to be a long post, so I’ll put a cut here <3

Moon

A lot of people are hating on how Moon reacted to Sun’s current trauma. I agree that he is not handling the situation well. As much as I understand where he’s coming from, running from Sun is not going to help at all. Sun desperately needs his family with him right now. No one else may have considered Nexus daily anymore, but it was still clear that Sun cared. He basically had to kill his own brother. Not only that, he was made to feel as if he chose to kill his own brother. (There was no choice in the matter, it was physiological torture set up specifically to make Sun feel guilty for his actions. Sun may have threw the “fireball” but Dark was the one who forced him to.)

Anyways, back to Moon. I think what a lot of people are forgetting is that Moon also just lived through a trauma. He was kidnapped and tortured, almost killed before Ruin saved him. The only reason Ruin saved him, as Ruin explained himself, was because Ruin hated Dark and Nexus. It was not because he wanted to save Moon, it was because he wanted to thwart Dark and Nexus’ plans. When he’s finally on his way to getting out, he finds two of his brothers being tortured, and almost watched one of them die before he got there. (I think that’s why he started screaming when he did. He was buying time for Solar by directing Nexus’ attention at him.) He then watched Nexus die. He was not close to Nexus in any way, but watching anyone die in front of you is not great for your mental health.

After all this, Moon is then told he has to not only process his own trauma, but take on Sun’s trauma as well. Moon does want to help, but he is too overly burdened by his own problems and knows he wouldn’t be of any help. To make up of his guilt, he is coving up his own trauma response by saying he’s doing it for Sun. He very likely knows this isn’t going to help Sun emotionally, but he feels he can stop any farther trauma to Sun by stopping whatever’s causing it. It’s both genuinely feeling this is the only way he can help Sun, and feeling guilt over not being able to help him in the way that is currently needed.

Is that the best response? No. But is it a very Moon response? Yes. This is actually exactly how he used to fix problems. Moon should not have abused Sun in the way he did, and he still needs to apologize for that, but Moon genuinely thought in some of these instances that he was helping Sun. He is not an emotionally available person, so he cannot handle his own emotions on top of others. So he does the next best thing he can think of and tries to stop what’s causing the trauma. Moon has just as much trauma as Sun does, people just don’t tend to feel that way because he took out his emotions on Sun to process them. At least this time he’s not taking it out on Sun. At least he is trying to actually stop the problem.

All in all, Moon isn’t as in the wrong as everyone keeps saying. Yes, he definitely should go talk to Sun. Hell, even just sitting in the same room as Solar does all the talking would be a big help. Just showing that he is there for Sun. But then Moon would feel more guilty, because he wouldn’t see how he’s helping and would still want to go after Dark and Ruin. He may seem apathetic, but he genuinely is trying to fix the situation.

(Edit : I also think people are forgetting that Moon had absolutely no insight as to what the real situation was. Sun did not tell them he was forced to make a choice, he simply saw Nexus explode. He probably thinks Sun intentionally killed Nexus. He does not realize the true gravity of the situation like we do.)

Sun

Obviously, Sun is the most emotionally distressed over the situation. The entire time he was talking with Nexus, a few episodes before his death, Sun tried to say he didn’t care about Nexus. Nexus saw through the lies, he knew Sun for an entire year by this point. They used to be brothers, Nexus wasn’t going to believe Sun didn’t care because Sun never stopped caring. As much as Sun was hurt by Nexus, that was still his brother. It’s kind of similar to his feelings of Moon at the beginning of the show. Moon did some genuinely terrible things to him, but Sun still cared. The only reason this situation is any different is because Moon would sometimes try and show regret over his actions, and Nexus blatantly didn’t care.

Sun found out his brother was kidnapped, had to bargain with the enemy to try and get past another enemy, almost got caught in the crossfire of a deadly fight, and was then tortured by someone he used to call a brother. He was almost forced to watch Solar die purely as a revenge tactic to get back at him, and Sun would have felt it was his fault Solar died. The was only stopped by Moon rushing in to start fighting. Right when it looked like Nexus was about to kill everyone, Dark forced Sun into a rigged choice between killing his brothers. (Edit: It was Ruin’s device that killed Nexus. Sun had no part in physically killing him.)

Once again, really want people to understand that Sun did not kill Nexus. He was simply made to feel like he did. It’s psychological torture, make someone feel as if they are choosing a certain outcome when you are actually in control so that the person will be traumatized by “their own” actions. Dark was very in control of the situation. He very much knew who Sun was going to choose, but forced him into doing so in a way that would make Sun feel like it was his fault. Sun is in no way at fault for Nexus’ death. That is completely on Dark.

In the end, Sun is forced to watch his former brother, someone he still cares very deeply about, die a very violent and painful death. He is forced to think he is the one to cause it. He was already in high distress before hand from Moon’s kidnapping and attempted rescue. Now he is dealing with what is quite possibly his worst trauma yet. This forces him to shut down and dissociate from the problem.

Notice how Sun forces himself not to breakdown until he gets back to the house, and even then he goes to his own room and very quietly starts to cry. Even while he was in extreme emotional pain, he was trying to be considerate of the people around him. He didn’t want to force them to handle him while he was suffering, so he made his suffering as silent and unseen as he could. Because Sun never stops caring.

To say the least, Sun is in an unbearable amount of pain right now. It will be a very long road to recovery for him, if he ever recovers from this.

Solar

Solar seems to be the most level headed in the situation, which isn’t an odd thing. He will usually take on that role in these types of situations. He was also one of the first to say killing Nexus was their best option. He was probably the most prepared for this kind of outcome.

The thing is, as much as Solar might not like it, he is still an Eclipse. He still deals with his problems like most Eclipses do, though arguably better than others. He finds work to do, and he drowns himself in it to avoid his own feelings. Eclipses are kings of repression. Solar doesn’t want to acknowledge his own feelings, so he’s going to forget he even has them.

His current choice of work? Helping Sun. To him, Sun is obviously more hurt than he is, so his own emotions don’t matter. He feels Sun needs more help than him, so he’s not going to show any distress so that the others will focus on Sun and not him. If they focus on him, he will have to feel his feelings, and he doesn’t want that. He wants Sun better, because to him Sun obviously is the one more in need.

I think that’s one of the reasons he got so upset with Moon over the whole “go talk to Sun” situation. No one is helping Sun, and he’s confused on why no one is helping. Sun obviously needs it, why is everyone just leaving him alone? They need to go check on Sun, he’s obviously not okay right now. Why is no one helping Sun?

I thinks there’s a lot of factors at play here, besides just repression. I think is also somewhat projection and reliving trauma too. He basically lived the beginning of his life without help when he was in emotional distress. His Moon never cared about him, blamed him for Sun’s death, and constantly verbally and physically abused him. He was never allowed to grieve. Seeing Sun hurting like this and not getting help is reminding him of his own feelings in past situations where he never got help. He may not realize it, but it’s a possibility. Also, he still has the attachment to his own Sun. I don’t think he likes seeing any Sun (besides Dark) in any sort of pain.

Then there’s the last thing.

Solar had to kill his Moon.

This situation is striking way too close to home.

Solar is probably the only one who genuinely can feel empathy for Sun’s current situation. He’s the only one who knows what it feels like to “pull the trigger”. Nexus was also acting very similar to how Solar’s Moon used to act. And Solar never got any help when it happened. He didn’t even tell anyone, he covered it up and tried to forget. I think Lunar is the only one who knows about it, and Lunar never did anything about it. Solar was forced to go through nearly this exact situation, and he does not want to see Sun go through what he had to go through.

(On top of all this, Solar was very close to Nexus before his death. He’s not showing it, but he is very much hurt by what is happening. The only reason he is probably not in more distress is because he prepared for this being a possible outcome.)

Earth

To be completely honest, I have been way more focused on the others in this situation. Earth is also one of the easiest characters to read, as she verbally voices her feeling to everyone and has never really felt the need to hide them. We already know she’s upset by the situation, and is probably going to have some sort of mildly poor coping mechanism, but she is going to be the most emotionally okay out of everyone. Not because she is feeling okay, but because she’s the most in tune with her own feelings, and with how to properly handle those feelings.

I’m not saying she’s going to be perfectly okay over this. She is obviously still very hurt and troubled. I am also not trying to downplay her emotions. She is definitely going to need the others to help her. This portion isn’t short because I don’t like her, it’s just short because she is genuinely the best off in this situation. She knows how to find help when she needs it and, even better, she will ask for it.

Monty & Lunar

I’m sticking them together because I feel very similar ways about them.

I do not understand their reactions to the current situation.

Monty is more understandable. He was always closer to Moon than he was to Nexus. That much was very obvious. The moment Moon came back they got drunk and partied, and then feel right back into their old friendship. Monty was seemingly completely unaffected by Nexus’ change of heart. He very much only cares about themself and Earth.

The way he’s acting currently is not helping the situation. At all. It’s even worse than Moon’s reaction, in my opinion. Moon at least feels he is helping Sun. Monty is doing nothing. “Nexus is dead? Cool. Let’s hide this from Earth because it will hurt her and I can’t stand seeing that.” That is going to hurt Earth a lot worse in the long run if she was never told. She doesn’t like lies, even by omission. You already are hurting others by being apathetic, do not hurt Earth because seeing her hurt will hurt you. That’s fucked up.

Then there’s Lunar. I’ve already talked about my feelings on him, but I still cannot figure him out. He’s always been a very apathetic character when he’s not interested or running from emotional pain. But this? This feels almost malicious. He doesn’t seem to care. Usually when he is running, he’ll verbally tell everyone he knows what he’s doing. He knows it’s bad. But right now he is not saying anything. His is either dissociating from the problem to the point he is numb, or he is so genuinely unbothered that there isn’t any sort of care in his heart.

This doesn’t feel like Lunar. This has never been his reaction to anything before. We haven never seen this from him at this scale. It feels so violently out of character for someone who is very emotional and loud about it.

At this point, I am starting to wonder if the Star power is having a bigger effect on him than we think. We all know that the Astrals deal with apathy to most things. Even Castor and Pollux has said they don’t react to things like most people expect them to. They do not have the ability to care in a way the feels human. Since Lunar has been training to become an Astral, I’m starting to wonder if this will begin to mentally change him as well.

I am not saying that apathy is a bad thing to have. I am not saying Lunar is wrong to feel this way. I am simply saying it feels violently out of character, and is not helpful in the situation at all.

These two are currently being the least helpful in this situation. They do not care, and do not feel the need to soften their apathy and help the others. Lunar is actually the most unsympathetic out of the group, which is actually a stark contrast to how he usually is portrayed.

[lilpotatjj]

Couldn't wait to write it all down. Our sweetheart Cait became emotional after taking off her wig for the last time. And we all ken that there's only one person she gets the comfort right? Here ye go (it's a wee bit longer as I thought..should I be sorry?..nae ;) )

Warning: sweet comfort and some sadness and a wee bit of drama. And a Sam that is so in scots character 😂👀

One last time

There it lay...a simple scrap of hair. Simple? It was anything but simple. This wig was a part of her existence, her life. It had been with her for eleven years and it was hard to believe that this was the last time it would be taken off. She tried to pull herself together and put the mobile aside, the tears still in her eyes. Recorded for eternity and for those who made it possible to embody Claire Fraser for so long. The fans. She looked silently into the mirror and suppressed a small sob as she fixed the rest of her own hair. Sam hadn't finished when she got up and left the trailer quietly and without a word. He looked after her anxiously and thoughtfully, oblivious to the fact that he had unfamiliar hands halfway down his face. A smile, a small and heavy smile was on her face as she left and she tried to keep her composure. She always did. Pretending to be strong and trying to look professional, which she usually managed quite well, but...not today.

When Sam had finished, he stood up in a flash, like a horse just waiting to race to the starting line. He came out and looked around. There were other smaller trailers everywhere. It was already starting to get dark and the whole set was in an after-work mood. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. Sam walked slowly through the various crowds. Cait had been tense all day, then the photo for 'The Last Wrap'. She didn't have a single second to herself. He kept getting a hand slapped on his shoulder or back as a sign of excellent work and gratitude, but he hardly bothered to respond. Here and there a small nod of thanks and a smile as he meandered past the people.

He couldn't find her, not even in her trailer. He decided to go into the hall to the set and bumped into Sophie. "Have you seen Cait?" he asked her, unconsciously worried.

"Sam! Ah...yes, she was walking towards Lallybroch's set" she said, adding "Are you coming to the bar for drinks tonight too?"

He raised his hand in thanks and nodded, but left without saying anything to Sophie's astonishment.

"Okay?" she mumbled quietly, shrugging her shoulders as she left too.

A huge room with green and blue screens opened up to him as he entered. Parts of masonry could be seen. Lallybroch. The heart of the set. There she stood in the middle of the walls. He went to her and gave her space, standing a little apart behind her to enjoy the silence with her. It's so ironic, the usually loud hustle and bustle of the set during filming was stifled. You'd think no one had been here for centuries, as if only ghosts were wandering around. She didn't move, although she knew it was Sam standing with her. She could feel his aura very clearly, the same as every day. It could have been anyone, but she would recognize his from thousands.

He finally came a little closer to her, stood close behind her and followed her gaze across the huge set. She wiped her face, not turning an inch. She knew that if she did that now, the dam of her whole frame would break. The actually positive advantage of being able to let herself go with him and only him. But now she felt it was a weakness. She didn't want to cry, not over something so trivial. That's what she thought. Sam took a quiet breath and cleared his throat. He knows her and knows that it's better not to push her now. She'll come to him when she needs him, just like always.

"The others want to go partying, have a drink. Are you coming?" He asked carefully to give her room to breathe. "Of course!" she sounded completely normal as she turned to him. There it was, the smile that could have melted him, but... it had a bitter aftertaste. "Let's go, I want to freshen up quickly and then we can go," she said, playing relaxed. Yes...acting, but she can't do that to him. If anyone could keep their composure, it was Sam. Not Cait. She was Claire through and through when it came to interpreting emotions, she couldn't lie. In front of anyone else...but not in front of him.

He followed her to the trailer and didn't bother to wait outside. He didn't care what anyone else on the set thought. He had to stay with her now, make sure he was there at all times. After all these years, he just wanted to think about her and not worry about what others were saying or thinking about either of them. Cait looked at him in surprise for a moment, hesitantly closed the door and followed Sam with her gaze, who simply sat down on one of the small benches and stared out of the window. She paused briefly, then went to change her clothes and freshen up, only to stand in front of him ten minutes later, ready to go. He stood up and grinned at the sight of her. "You're far too pretty for tonight my dear" he said more proudly than jealously. She smiled sweetly at him and studied him silently for a moment, giving him a kiss on the cheek. It was breathy, almost apologetic, which was why he scanned her curiously.

"We should go before I change my mind mo chridhe" She giggled affectionately at his words and they both left the trailer.

When they arrived at the bar, they joined the others. There were quite a few of them. Sophie, Richard, Lauren, John and César were also there. When they arrived at the table, the others cheered them loudly, glasses were raised and everyone roared. Sam laughed contentedly, gently placed his hand on Caits back and took one of the whisky glasses to clink glasses. Cait gave Sophie a hug and took a glass too.

"Slainte!" the Scot called out loudly and everyone joined in. with one big draught, almost everyone drank the glass empty together while the music played loudly in the background. "So James Fraser!" said Sophie and continued with a smile. "Let you and your Sassenach celebrate hard today!"

His face lit up with joy and he raised his newly refilled whisky glass. "Not just me, but my wonderful partner Cait, as well as all of you!" They raised their glasses again, but at Sam's words, the Irishwoman stared at him silently for a moment, then drained her glass in one go, which Sam just looked at silently. They all talked about the wonderful memories of the last eleven years. Everyone had a lot to say, except Cait, who was quite silent. Had agreed here and there or made a quick comment. Richard was in his own world, having another drink.

As Cait poured herself her 5th glass, the Scot stopped her without thinking. "Ok, slow down babe the evening is still young" She looked at him in disbelief. He knows what her limit is, but she didn't really care at the moment. Fully focused on Cait, Sam didn't notice the looks from the others, which he had caught with her nickname.

Now it was Richard who interrupted the tension and drew the puzzled looks when he distracted the group with a question.

"Do you have any ideas or other projects for the future?" Everyone joined in and suggested ideas or said no, including Cait. "I'm sure it won't be easy to switch off Claire after all this time. But you have so much talent, you could play anything," Sophie said without thinking and received a serious look from the Irishwoman for this statement. Cait stood up and politely excused herself, all eyes fixed on her. Sam did the same and rose to follow her. She went out into the fresh air, breathing faster, doing her best not to lose her composure completely now. Sam came out to her and saw her pacing back and forth, slightly upset and with tears in her eyes. He stood there, still hesitating, he knew her.

"Do you want to go?" he asked calmly and she looked to him for help. That was the hint. He went to her, took her in his arms and simply held her tightly. "We're going..." he whispered softly and lovingly and she just nodded silently, hiding her face in his chest. Sam gave her time and gently hugged her tighter, then took her to his car. Thank God he only had two whiskies.

"I'll let the others know," came from him briefly and as quickly as he was in, he was out again. She sat quietly in the passenger seat, looking at him apologetically as he got behind the wheel. "You don't have to look like that, it's all right. The others are having fun without us," he said in his soft voice, but she looked out of the window briefly as he started the engine. "That's not it. I didn't want to ruin your evening," she said, again with an innocent look. Sam snorted in amusement. "Cait as long as I'm with you every night is saved" he spoke seriously and smiled sincerely at her. "I just need you mo chridhe"

She gave him a wistful smile, she was happy. He stroked her chin and smiled at her with his typical wide grin. "And now let's check into the hotel" he drove off, concentrating on the road and sensing that Cait was still tense.

When he arrived, he looked at her quietly.

"So Claire Fraser" he rolled the 'R' especially and started speaking in Jamie's accent. God she loved his Scottish accent, but it's exactly what her heart doesn't want to hear right now. Cait ignored him and fussed with her hair. "Ye cannae hold it in forever," he said, letting Jamie hang out in full conversational tone. "Stop it Sam, we're not on set anymore," she said annoyed and snappy. He raised his typical eyebrow and walked slowly towards her. "it winnae get any better if ye dinnae let it out...~Claire~!" He emphasized the name of her second life again and made zero effort to stop. She turned to him and scowled. "You're not Jamie!" she commanded rather than saying it. "hm.. nae?" he couldn't ask more Scottishly and grabbed her arm, gently but firmly. "Cait, we've lived these roles for eleven years, they're a part of us and they'll be a part of us forever!" he said sternly, not even thinking about locking the Jamie inside him away. "But it's over now, damn it!" she hissed and tried to pull away. He was beginning to feel like he was filming a scene on set with Claire rather than arguing with Cait herself. She finally clung to him as she gave up. She knew he was right... right from the beginning. But the painful thought that it's over forever is too great.

At last he had her where he wanted her. She could no longer hold back the tears and hid her face in his chest while he held her and stroked her head. The Scotsman gave her a gentle kiss on the head every now and then. It took a while before she finally calmed down. She swallowed it for too long and didn't let it out. Otherwise so tough, it's still not such an easy path. After all, it is the goal that has been irrevocably achieved.

Eleven years of hard work and so many memories. The fact that she had met and fallen in love with her husband there weighed deeply. He picked her up bridal style and carried her to the couch in the room. "It's okay my love...I'm so proud of you. You've done such a great job all these years" she laid her head on his lap. "That's what the right person says...without you, the show would only be half as good!" she said with charming sweet but tired smile and grabbed his chin with his slight beard stubble.

He returned her smile just as lovingly, leaned down and gave her a kiss on the lips. "It doesn't matter what the future holds for us, as long as we're together I don't care," he couldn't say it any sweeter and stroked her silky, dark hair lovingly. She just looked at him in love, the blush on her face full of happiness to have him with her.

"Do you want to watch something?" he asked and she nodded silently. Sam switched on the TV and pulled her closer to him. "My Sassenach," he said quietly and proudly.

"My red-haired, stubborn and hot-headed Highlander"

[obsidianpen]

Wondering if we'll ever get to the point in No Glory where Voldemort is capable of actually valuing Harry's wellbeing over his own/his own desires, because that feels like the next necessary step in terms of healing/making their relationship functional. I'm actually a pretty big proponent that this will probably express itself by Voldemort refusing to have sex with Harry, because of how damaging and traumatizing he realizes it is for him.

The consent problem here, naturally, is that Harry can't meaningfully consent to anything Voldemort asks of him, since Voldemort has too much leverage over him and it provides a perverse incentive structure where Harry can't realistically say no (as exemplified with the most recent chapter). Therefore, literally the only ethical remaining action for Voldemort to take is to always say no, even when Harry is nominally pressuring him to say yes, simply because he is unable to trust that Harry's yes is ever actually a yes rather than a product of the constant threat Voldemort has kept him under.

This is probably the next major emotional revelation, and one that I expect to be coming fairly soon given how the most recent chapter played out (very explicitly showing Harry giving nominal consent to something he didn't want in a terrible situation where he wasn't free to say no and have it be respected). 'Ruination' shattered much of Voldemort's sense of self, forcing him to come to terms with exactly what kind of monster he'd been all along, and 'A Promise' holds the opportunity to shatter Voldemort's illusions about their situation and Harry's true ability to consent (or lack thereof).

This actually sets up a very nice exploration of morality and emotional growth, wherein all the things that Voldemort had convinced himself were unnecessary weaknesses (just treatment for your enemies, restraint, and yes, even mercy) are actually things we do for ourselves to keep from feeling the exact way he's likely feeling right now. At our most selfish, they're not things we do for other people, they're things we do for us.

(I'd actually sent in a previous ask saying that No Glory actually reminds me of the Good Place, weirdly enough, and I think this is why.)

this has actually started to come up a bit already; V isn’t entirely unaware of this situation in terms of consent, even if he hasn’t fully wrapped his head around it yet. From the chapter ‘closer’ (had to go find it to make sure I wants being delusional):

‘Harry grinned, a little delirious as he made yet another bold move. He grabbed Voldemort by the chin and kissed him, hard. He couldn’t tell if the moan that followed was his own or not. He didn't care either way. Harry wanted him closer, closer.

He felt in control. He felt powerful. 

Everything stopped. 

There must have been much to yet learn about the connection between their souls, because even though Harry had initiated this, it was clearly Voldemort who chose to end it. There was a heartbeat of stillness in which that light vanished, the same moment in which Voldemort severed their kiss. His grasp on Harry’s hair moved to his neck, and it became painfully tight.

No. 

Voldemort did not say the word, but Harry could hear it resonate clearly in his mind. One word, and then Voldemort hurled Harry away from him, throwing him by the neck with such force that Harry flew backwards, slamming against the table. The back of it collided with his back, and then he fell, landing hard on his knees. He coughed when he landed; Voldemort’s grasp on his throat when he threw him was short, but violent. 

“You think you are in control of this, of me ,” Voldemort hissed. “You have no idea what you are doing… of what you even want to be doing.”

Harry looked up to him, and though his magic was a wall of angry black, there were now unmissable flecks of gold. Harry, still on his knees, smirked. “I think I do,” he said hoarsely. 

“You do not,” Voldemort seethed. His aura was a combination of rage and something very close to panic, possibly even fear. “This ends, now.” His face became stonelike, but Harry could sense the misery in him. He inclined his head at him slightly. “Goodbye, Harry.”’

[l-in-the-light]

Does Law hide himself and his emotions under his hat? 🤠

Yes, he does indeed. And he hides much more under his hat than just his emotions! Let's take a look:

Here, he pulls the brim of his hat lower to hide more of his face, especially eyes. It's widely speculated he was crying here or at least tearing up. I agree with that, mostly because this other scene seems to literally spell it out for us:

Look at his shirt :) Seems when Law is crying he wants to cover it up or hide somewhow, for no one to see. He's clearly not alright with being openly vulnerable, especially when it comes to showing his emotions.

If I would take a guess as to why, it's probably because crying makes him feel helpless and like there's nothing he can do (the whole Flevance wipeout and Law being unable to save anyone, not even his sister; being locked up in a chest and silenced by a spell during Cora-san's sacrifice; during both situations he cried a lot) that's why he tries to hide his face at least, to take a semblance of control, even if just to make sure the world doesn't see him crying. That being said, it's not a perfect explanation, because in his defeat on Winner Island he does not cry. So either he already accepted at that point that this will be the place where he dies (but why would he accept that, right? ;)), or my guess is wrong, welp.

It's not surprising that as the result of this habit of his we never see adult Law openly crying. Not when Mingo or Blackbeard beat up his ass, not when Luffy died in his fight with Kaido. The closest to crying is the scene with Sengoku up there, and also this one:

You can see tears forming in his eyes if you look closely.

But like I said, crying isn't the only thing Law hides. He actually doesn't express emotions much at all. Sadness, crying, honest smiles (Law's smiles is a curious subject deserving it's own study honestly lol), no expressions showing he's pleased, content etc. The only emotions he starts showing more openly is anger and worry, ever since he made that alliance with Luffy. It's not really uncommon for people with PTSD to mostly feel anger, it's kinda psychologically accurate.

He also hides his eyes under his hat when he's bluffing. Here, in raid on Onigashima, he claims he will do one of his surgery-type attacks, but two pages later he actually used Takt instead to throw huge boulders on Kaido :) part of the strategy.

His face is often obscured by his hat when he's hiding something or lying about something. "After sucking up the to the government you wouldn't screw it all up by making a mess now"... well, except that is exactly what Law was planning to do, he became a warlord just so he can waltz into the SAD room and destroy it and the story tells us this was literally the only reason why he wanted to be a warlord in the first place, lol.

Here, when he says everything is conducted "in secret to avoid naval attention", he's kinda selling Strawhats a half-lie. We know already that Doflamingo, the king of the underground, was supplying the Government with weapons. In other words, World Government knows about the underground deals, allows it and participates in them, when it suits their interests. That's also why Stussy, a CP0 agent, is also part of the underground. Morgans, our economic newspaper publisher, is also involved with underground and at the same time is cooperating with Government as well. So yeah, Government does know about those deals.

His eyes are hidden also when he takes the blame for what Luffy and Zoro did (yes, it's true he got exposed as well, but that's just the consequence of what Luffy and Zoro first did and only because he tried to cover up their tracks!).

And this "hiding eyes with his hat" trend is consistent ever since Law first appeared in the manga. In fact, already in Sabaody when he thanks Luffy for "showing him something interesting", his eyes are hidden by the shadow of his hat. We know that this is not what he's actually thanking Luffy for, he's thanking him for defending Hachi, the fishman, when people were basically saying he spreads diseases and is disgusting, and moved away from him etc. Because this reminded Law of all the hospital trips Cora-san forced him to go through as a child, and people's reactions to amber lead syndrome's symptoms.

This consistency in Law's portrayal (especially with the little trick in hiding his emotions - Oda already must have had reason for obscuring Law's eyes in this moment above, but not in any other one! And this connects to Law's backstory) is the reason why I believe Oda had planned a lot about Law ever since he introduced him, despite the fact he claims he invented Supernovas on the spot. It's just way too consistent for me to believe he had no plan for him yet.

Anyway, if you followed what I have been saying, you can already guess that in this shot, when Law declares that "he wishes he could let Luffy do whatever he wants", he's bullshitting everyone. He does not wish for that in the slightest, lol.

There are much more examples of that in the manga and even if I wished I wouldn't be able to cover them all, haha. But if any of you feel like checking it out, do it and pay attention to Law's eyes - are they hidden by the shadow of his hat? If so, you can guess he's not completely honest, is withholding information, has a secret plan set in motion, or is hiding his emotions.

At the end of Punk Hazard and at end of Wano, Law's eyes are hidden as well, which is why I know he's hiding something, I just don't know what exactly. People were suspcious already when this Wano chapter first came out and I would say for a good reason! There's really no point in hiding Law's eyes when he's talking about "North East being the most direct route" unless he had a completely different reason for choosing that direction. What could it be? Your guess is as good as mine. And of course we all know he hides his knowledge level about "man marked by flames".

Now that he lost his hat, he will be left really vulnerable. But at least his lovely ruffled hair will be unleashed to the world in it's full glory ✨

[bad-surprise]

i find many people in fandom incredibly annoying. that is not a secret and it is not a sin. it is far better, in my opinion, to talk through these feelings privately than to approach said individuals because being annoying is a) not a crime in any way, shape, or form, and b) fully subjective. i am sure other fans find me annoying, and they have every right to talk through their frustrations privately with trusted friends. they also have every right to block whoever they’d like or to share whatever i’ve posted that’s upset them with their friends in order to provide context for their emotions. it might hurt my feelings sometimes and i may not like it, but that doesn’t make it wrong.

as a queer black woman, i find it extremely upsetting when the language of social justice is used in bad faith by those looking to evade accountability for shitty behavior. that is the context of those remarks.

everything i said in that conversation i would state publicly. i didn’t, though, because it seemed pointless at the time. conversation with those involved (not any of the accounts who have centered themselves in this discussion) had already been attempted and the deliberate misrepresentation of events, warping of words, and bad faith tactics that followed rendered the situation hopeless.

fandom is not a monolith. we are allowed to have different opinions on everything, and i really enjoy productive conversations with those who have differing views, so long as they’re rooted in a genuine desire for mutual understanding. people i am friends with are free to be friends with people i dislike, i have never policed that and never will.

i am always open to conversation and will offer clarifications if they’re requested in good faith. i would also point out that the screenshots being shared are very carefully selected excerpts of a broader conversation— it might be wise to ask why those specific quotes (which were poorly worded at times, sure— that makes sense considering that they were part of private conversations between supportive friends who understood each other’s context, values, and intent) were decontextualized and used for this purpose.

initially, this fandom was a very creative place, filled with diversity of thought and opinion, characterized by a sense of curiosity, imagination, and collaboration. the occasional bad actor popped up, yes, and there have always been issues with antis (which i define as those who believe there is a moral component to shipping, though it seems like in this case it is being applied to people who simply have differing opinions about a ship beloved by both parties) and those outside of the fandom who dislike the ship, but generally it was a pleasant space in which to exist alongside others. that has slowly diminished to the extent that it’s now very difficult to find reasons to remain involved. i worry that the point of all this is to push people out, but i also hope that isn’t the case.

there is no right or wrong way to ship sauron and galadriel. there is no right or wrong way to ship, full stop.

i’m so fucking exhausted by this conversation and by the fact that accusations of racism or homophobia in this fandom so often target black and queer individuals, misrepresenting our response to circumstances where our lived experiences are repeatedly decontextualized, devalued, disregarded, or manipulated in the service of something as petty as a ship war. it’s not leftism, it’s not social justice— it’s tone policing as an attempt to stoke moral outrage, and it feels a hell of a lot like an effort to dictate the rules of participation in a ship.

but i genuinely believe there’s enough room here for all of us, including those individuals i personally find disingenuous and/or annoying.

[rachxhjs]

Claiming you.

✧ A story where Soobin feels unwanted by his boyfriend because he had been away for a while. As soon as Yeonjun hears about this he's determined to change his lover's mindset.

♡

Requested by, anon ♡

Yeonjun x Soobin

✧ Tags;

Breeding kink, size kink, praise kink, edge play, bottom!soobin, top!yeonjun, smut, fluff

✧

"Honey, I told you it was just a trip.. nothing more than just a few days being away from each other. Just because I was gone it doesn't mean I don't want you anymore."

Soobin exhaled as he wrapped his arms around his cold legs, cheek mashed against his knee. It had been about two weeks since he had seen his boyfriend, and it affected him more than he thought it would.

Yeonjun's boss had told him that he, and a few other co-workers had to go to Las Vegas to settle a deal with a company that had reached out to them. And at first Soobin was over the moon, he was so proud of his boyfriend that he got to participate in such a big event, that the boss chose him as one of the best workers to handle such a job. But as the days passed it had only become worse and worse for him. It wasn't just that Yeonjun wasn't next to him. It was also because Yeonjun could barely go on his phone, and whenever he could Soobin would be asleep because of the time difference. It was horrible, and it felt like he didn't get to have a proper conversation with his lover in months.

"Baby.." Yeonjun called out again once his boyfriend didn't reply, sitting down next to him on their silk covered bed, bringing his hand up to caress his lover's cheek. "I'm sorry, yes? I didn't know it would be so.. how do I say this? So.. abstract? I expected to text you every day, to call you. But that didn't happen and I apologise.. you must have been lonely."

Soobin inhaled as he simply hugged his legs closer to his body, looking to the side with tear filled eyes, feeling more emotional than ever. Yeonjun finally returned from his trip, and he should've been happy. But he wasn't, it was the opposite, and he hated that.

"You don't want me anymore.."

"What?"

A moment of silence filled the room as Yeonjun stopped in his tracks, the hand that was brushing over his boyfriend's face froze in the air, hesitantly, and slowly pulling away.

"Soobin, don't say that." The older instantly scolded, furrowing his brows. "It was just a trip, and the time stamps were flipped around. There wasn't much I could do, I was busy. But hey.. maybe I'll get a higher position. And I'm here now, you should be happy."

Meanwhile Soobin just sniffed softly, covering his eyes to prevent himself from embarrassing himself in front of the shorter, it was embarrassing. Yeonjun was right, he should've been happy. But those two weeks of not hearing Yeonjun's voice made him feel a dark pitch in his stomach and heart. He was so used to being held to sleep every night that it felt rather damaging when it wasn't like that. He was so used to it. "I know.. but.. you haven't even touched me or shown any sign of you missing me when you came back.. hurts. I missed you, but you didn't miss me."

"Is that what this is about?"

Yeonjun inhaled as he carefully held Soobin's hand, kissing the corner of his lips before he laid the taller down, thinking. "Sweetheart. Of course I missed you, you're my everything. Looked at your pictures every night.. and I do need you, you're all I can think about." The male carefully hovered on top of his boyfriend as he gave him a warm, reassuring smile. Leaning in to kiss away the cold, sticky tears from Soobin's face, humming lowly. "You want to know how much I missed you?"

"Mhm.." Soobin shivered slightly when his lover kissed his delicate skin, hips already starting to buck up. Maybe this was just what he needed, an orgasm to forget about everything, to see how badly Yeonjun wanted him. "I want you to show me.. how badly you want me.. 'need it." He whispered, squirming under his boyfriend before Yeonjun pinned him down by his hips, nodding. "Okay baby.. I'm going to need you to relax for me then, hm? Let me do all the work.."

And before Soobin knew it, Yeonjun was stripping off all his clothes, leaving him completely naked and tracing down each curve of his body carefully, eyes full of love. "There we go.. my poor baby. You missed this, didn't you? I bet you jerked off whispering my name.. god. If only I could've seen you like that.." Yeonjun inhaled sharply as he thought about his lover pumping his own member needily, mouth agape while his tiny teeth poked out. It was one of his favourite things about Soobin, the way he resembled a bunny. And honestly, it wasn't just his features that reminded him of a bunny, but also the way he bounced on dick whenever he was needy, he always looked so cute when in heat.

"Yes.." Soobin's eyes squinted as his pupils followed each movement Yeonjun made, breathing rather loudly. He was getting so hot that his skin started to radiate heat like a furnace, cheeks red. "You took.. so long.. I was so alone, had to take care of myself.."

"Poor bunny." Yeonjun grinned a bit as he started to take off his own clothes in a slow manner, wanting to tease the other in each way possible. "But you did so good.. you're such a good boy for me. Did you think of me baby? Were you good?"

"Yes.." Soobin panted out again, mouth agape as his hips jerked up in need, wanting to get any sort of friction. But he knew that if he touched himself Yeonjun would scold him. Plus, the older had promised to take care of him, and he trusted him. "Watched old videos of us.. videos you sent me.. listened to your audios, your grunts. Imagined you were there with me.."

"Go on.. you're doing so good.. Keep talking." Yeonjun praised lowly, listening to his boyfriend while he tossed away his clothes. And then, he leaned down to press a dozen of kisses around his lover's thighs, humming softly against his soft skin and inhaling his boyfriend's scent, eyes closed. "Used a dildo.. bounced on it and listened to your voice, closed my eyes.. it felt so real. I needed you.. so bad.."

"I know.." The older inhaled sharply as he pulled away, sitting down on the floor of the end of their shared bed before he pulled his lover towards him by his legs, nose nuzzling into his balls. "But I'm here now.. and you did so.. so good. I'm so proud of you.. the best boy, hm?"

Soobin shivered when he felt Yeonjun's mouth being so close to his crotch, nodding and letting out a quiet cry as his hips jerked into him, trying to force himself inside of the male's mouth. But Yeonjun stopped him, wrapping his arms around the taller's legs. "Do you need me to tie you up? I thought you'd be good, baby. You don't want to be praised?"

"M' sorry.. I'll be good.." Soobin instantly stayed still as Yeonjun continued to kiss his thighs, member twitching in the air. "But you're teasing me.. I've been wanting this for a while and you're.. teasing me.." He protested, chest rising up and down as his doe eyes stared up at the ceiling, aching for more.

"I know, baby. But I want to savour this.. to enjoy this moment. Let me have this, hm? Won't you please hyung?" Yeonjun whispered, watching the way his boyfriend started to whine into his pillow, salivating against the silky white material. "Just like that love.. just stay still and look pretty for me, hm? Doing so good."

Soobin whimpered softly as he squirmed his hips slightly, starting to gasp into the sheets before he suddenly felt a cold sensation against his entrance, making him whine louder. Yeonjun had started to lubricate his entrance carefully, spurting the cold gel against his hole before he rubbed it in with his thumb, blowing softly as well to make the warm area tingle. "The better you are for me the quicker you'll get your release." The older promised, nuzzling into his thigh as he slowly pressed one finger inside of the younger's walls, rubbing and feeling against his prostate.

And soon enough, Soobin started to moan more loudly, back arching towards the ceiling as his legs started to shake, mouth agape. "Need it.. need it.. more.." He whimpered, walls clamping around Yeonjun's finger out of desperation. And soon enough, he felt another finger enter him, making him see stars.

"Shh.. be good and you'll get more. I've told you before.." Yeonjun bit his bottom lip as he started to pump his middle, and index finger into the younger, watching his chest rise up and down as he did his best hitting and rubbing into his boyfriend's gummy spots, eyebrow furrowed in focus. "There you go.."

Soobin's hands gripped onto the warm sheets under him as his mouth stayed open, eyes barely staying open as he finally felt what he had been aching for for days. He knew what Yeonjun said was true, so he did his best to be as good as possible, not moving too much and simply letting the male take care of him so he could have more, whimpering out of satisfaction. And before he knew it, a third finger entered his body, making his cock leak even more precum, dripping down to his abdomen.

"That's my good boy.. doing so good. I'm so proud of you.." Yeonjun whispered against Soobin's thigh, sucking some purple spots onto the skin as he slammed his palm against Soobin's ass, fingers pounding in and out of his walls. But as soon as he heard his boyfriend's voice getting higher and his walls tugging onto him harder he pulled away, watching how Soobin's entrance instantly gaped around nothing, length twitching needily.

When Soobin felt the sudden stop of friction he let out a soft cry, propping himself up onto his forearms so he could look down at his boyfriend, cheeks strained in tears of pleasure. "Wha.. where.. Yeonjun?" The male panted loudly as his member continued to throb, needing to release. But he couldn't, there wasn't any friction that would make him cum. "Shh.." Yeonjun smiled as he climbed on top of his boyfriend, sushing him warmly and rubbing his cock against his entrance, humming at the warm sensation. "So needy.."

"Cock.." Soobin instantly gasped, looking up at his boyfriend when the older pressed their foreheads together, feeling his stomach turn multiple times. There was something about the way Yeonjun stared at him that made him feel small and weak, but in the best way possible. It almost seemed like the older was seeing right through him, taking in his soul with his fierce gaze. But Soobin was soon distracted when he felt Yeonjun's hips harshly slam against him once, crying out loudly while the older let out a loud moan, keeping his boyfriend pressed against him.

"Can't.. I can't- it's too.. big.." Soobin whimpered, letting out quiet whines as Yeonjun carefully rolled himself against the male, wanting to get as deep as possible. "You can.. you've been good this entire time. Why not now? Hm? Look at that.." Yeonjun bit his bottom lip as he looked down at their bodies colliding, letting out a hiss when he noticed the obvious bulge in Soobin's stomach, eyebrows furrowed. "Fuck, baby.."

Soobin winced softly when he felt Yeonjun rub over the bulge, squirming his hips slightly as his mouth stayed agape, gasping needily. "I can't.." He repeated again. But Yeonjun simply pressed his hand against Soobin's mouth, sushing him once more. "You can.. you're taking it so well, love. Be good for me.." Yeonjun inhaled sharply as he pulled his member out, eyes flickering up at his boyfriend every now and then to check on his state before he laid his cock flat against the younger's stomach, watching how his tip reached all the way to his belly button. "It's just like that on the inside as well.. God. That's so fucking hot.."

Soobin stared down at the way Yeonjun compared his size to his stomach as he panted quietly, eager to feel his boyfriend again. "You're so tiny compared to my cock.. can you imagine? Me going in and out of you like this.. so deep. I'm filling you up so good." The older whispered lowly, grabbing his length again before he pressed it against his boyfriend once more. And then, he pulled Soobin towards him by his hips, manhandling him onto his dick. And slowly, he moved the male back and forth, watching how his stomach bulged each time, showing clearly how well he was fucking into the younger.

"Yeonjun-" Soobin cried out as he was moved onto his shaft, arms trembling before his back fell onto the mattress, arms laying flat. "Big.."

"I know.. you're doing so good.. look.. you're taking me so well." The older praised, letting out grunt as he kept Soobin's hips up, moving his boyfriend like a flesh light before he finally let his butt sink down on the mattress, focused. "I'm going to breed you.. going to give you all my babies.." Yeonjun growled as Soobin simply whined, feeling his stomach flutter. And soon enough, Yeonjun started to thrust his hips back and forth, watching how his boyfriend's delicate body moved up and down on the sheets. "Fucking shit.. you'll take them so well.. would be such a pretty daddy.."

Soobin let out a whimper whenever he felt Yeonjun hit the best spots inside of him, voice high and needy as he was fucked into like a toy, mouth open. Due to his boyfriend's big size he felt like he was filled to the brim, as if a thick brick was moving in and out of his body and leaving no room for air. But he loved it, he loved how good Yeonjun made him feel and how he reassured him so much. Sex with him was the best. "I'm going to cum.." The taller whined out, stomach continuing to bulge as Yeonjun rocked his hips back and forth, fingers piercing into his lover's skin. Though he didn't reply, being too focused on listening to Soobin's voice, wanting to hear his orgasm near. And once the male was on the verge of finishing, Yeonjun pulled out again, panting.

Just like before, Soobin let out a cry as his member continued to throb, leaking even more precum while his boyfriend flipped him onto his side, pressing his legs together. "Good boy.. almost. Doing so well, you'll feel so good.." The older whispered, spanking his ass hard once before he pushed himself into his entrance once more, grunting.

Soobin looked down at his member as it laid rock hard against his stomach, gazing down at the way he kept bulging and how he constantly leaked precum, moaning against the sheets loudly. "Good.. almost. Do you want me to breed you, hm? I'll give you.. everything. Fuck. You'll take it so well.. going to make sure you won't miss a drop.." The older murmured, biting his bottom lip as he pounded himself against Soobin's ass, balls slapping against his skin, hard, making the impact even more intense. And before he knew it, Yeonjun was cumming, hard. Pressing himself against his boyfriend as aggressively as possible so he could get as deep as he could, cumming in harsh, long and aggressive spurts. "Fuck-" Yeonjun growled, letting out a whine as well. "All of it.. take all of it.. you'll be.. having my babies.." The older whimpered, digging himself into Soobin's neck where he inhaled his scent and bit onto the skin, moaning as well.

And just like Yeonjun, Soobin came as well. Letting out cries of pleasure as he stained the sheets in thick strokes of white. It was much more than he thought it would be, but that was probably because he held it in for so long. And just like always, Yeonjun was right. Everything felt so much better like this.

After a few minutes of calming down Yeonjun wiped his forehead, taking his member and pulling it out carefully before he tilted Soobin's hips up so no cum would leave him, panting. "Stay like that.." he ordered in a tired, raspy tone. Grabbing one of Soobin's butt plugs and inserting it carefully, grinning at the sight. "Perfect.. you've got it all.. didn't miss a drop. Good boy.. you did so good today.." Soobin simply panted as his boyfriend laid down next to him, pulling him to his chest so he could listen to his heartbeat, gently stroking his hair.

"I'm so proud of you.. did so good, as always. Don't say that I don't want you ever again, hm? I love you so much.." Yeonjun whispered, kissing his lips.

Soobin breathed calmly against his boyfriend's chest as he smiled a bit to his words, humming. "I love you more.. thank you. I needed that.. didn't expect to be so grumpy.." He told honestly, rubbing his eyes a bit before he nuzzled more into the older's warm skin, starting to calm down his breathing. Meanwhile Yeonjun just hummed softly, playing with his hair, eyes full of love. He wished that Soobin would never feel like that again, because he did truly love him. Maybe he just didn't show it in the right ways. Or maybe his boyfriend was just sexually frustrated. But honestly, the cause of it wasn't too important to him at the moment. Right now he was focused on showing Soobin how much he truly did mean to him, rubbing over his waist. "And that's okay.. we've solved it now, hm? And I'm on break.. I'll be all yours for two weeks. Next time don't jump to conclusions yes? Just tell me how you feel and we'll fix it.. my everything."

Soobin hummed quietly as he breathed slowly, closing his eyes. He felt so comforted whenever he was with his boyfriend. And after such an intense orgasm he got really tired. So it was understandable that he fell asleep against Yeonjun's chest within a minute of them talking. It was actually cute, Yeonjun loved it. He loved how he was such a safe place for his lover. And hopefully, he could be that for the rest of Soobin's life.

♡

To, anon

I hope you enjoyed it and that it fit your expectations. And thank you so much for being my first submission, I enjoyed making this 😚

To, readers

Thank you so much for reading, and as a reminder my submissions are open if you'd like one of these as well. Have a great day, stay hydrated and remember that you're loved.

Thank you!

[kteezy997]

Lady in Waiting-Part Eleven//King Hal

Warnings: smut, male receiving oral sex (explicit), cursing, destructive behavior, name-calling

You had been resting all day, under doctor’s orders. By nightfall though, it seemed the King was restless.

“I missed you, my darling.” Hal said when he came into your chambers. He sat in the side of your bed, touching your hair.

“I missed you too.” you smiled.

“How are you feeling?”

“Much better. I think all I needed was some food and rest. The doctor said I am going to be fine, the baby will be fine.”

Hal grinned, “I cannot believe we are going to be parents. This is such a wonderful miracle.”

You giggled, “I would hardly call it a miracle, Hal. It is not as if we were trying. You are married to someone else for pity’s sake.”

“Oh darling, I do not wish to speak about Sophia. We can always be sorry, but it does not change how I feel about you or the fact that we have a child on the way. The Queen knows her place, and she may have a child whenever she pleases.” he looked into your eyes, grazed his palm softly against your cheek, “Let us celebrate this moment.”

“What did you have in mind, my King?” the corner of your mouth was turning up into a smirk against your will.

“I think you know.” Hal said, his voice soft and low. “It’s been too long since we’ve made love.” He threw the covers off of your body before shifting himself on top of you. He held your face in his hand, kissing you with hunger.

“Mm.” you moaned into his mouth, he was right, you both needed this. “Hal.” you whispered his name, putting your arms around him, drawing him even closer to you.

“My love.” he muttered, kissing your neck, kissing your face all while looking at you in awe.

“Can you promise me something?” you asked, weaving your fingers delicately into his hair.

“Yes, always.”

“Do not show Sophia this kind of affection. Do your duty as you must in your marriage. But only show this side of yourself to me.”

“Of course. With her it is only the physical act.” he grabbed your jaw in both of his hands. “But with you,” he shook his head slowly, “it is everything: physical, emotional, spiritual. You’re more than just the woman I love. Now, we are family.” He then placed his hand on your stomach, rubbing his hand over it gently.

"We are." you smiled, grabbing his hair with more force, pulling him into a kiss.

The King swiped his tongue into your mouth, groaning, sliding his hands down your body. He held your legs, tucked them around his waist as he nestled onto you.

...........

You lay naked together, kissing, snuggling. You caressed all the muscles of his chest and abdomen, leaving little pecks on his soft skin.

Hal combed his fingers through your hair, watching you.

You moved down his body, delicately placing your fingers on his cock. You heard Hal's breath hitch in his throat. You put your mouth on the tip, running your wet lips down his length. You licked the underside of his cock, looking up at his face.

His eyes closed, as if he were in a trance. He kept his hand on your head.

You created a rhythm of lapping your tongue there, realizing it was a sensitive spot for him. He started to writhe and tremble. You used your hand to softly squeeze and pump him as you kept working your mouth on his tip.

The veins of his cock were bulging, his thick tip becoming a darker shade of pink. He whimpered and moaned. "Yes, yes. Ahh."

You put his cock into your mouth, sucking hard, trying to bring him over the edge. He was the King, he deserved to be worshipped, to be serviced so well.

He let out a small series of low growls, and his cum spirted into your mouth, warm and gooey. You swallowed it down and he gave your scalp a gentle squeeze. "Fuck." he cursed, finishing.

The door of the room slammed open, "Your Majesty!" called the guard that had barged in, looking rushed and disheveled.

"I ought to have your head for barging in here." barked Hal, fixing his pants and rising from your bed.

"My sincerest apologies, my King,” said the guard, out of breath, “but it is the Queen. She has seemingly gone mad. She is destroying the place."

"Sophia." you said, worry taking over you.

......

You and Hal both headed to the Queen's chambers hastily. You heard belongings being thrown against walls, you could hear Sophia grumbling and panting loudly and a sudden crash of shattering glass.

You walked in first, not really knowing what to expect. "Sophia?" you called. Her bedroom was a disaster, pieces of her things were scattered on the floor and her vanity mirror was broken.

She turned her head, frowning and glaring at you as she hissed, "What do you want, whore?"

"Sophia, what is the meaning of all this?" you asked, knowing the answer, but you thought that getting her to talk would stop the destructive behavior she was exhibiting.

She laughed humorlessly, "What is the meaning of all this?" she mocked, "My life is ruined, so I do not care about anything anymore." She then grabbed one of her discarded dresses, ripping it to shreds.

"I know the pain and the anger you are feeling, but this is not-" you began.

"You do not know anything, y/n! My King has replaced me with my own handmaiden, and he will never love me. And the two of you have decided my fate for me, well, I am tired of everything about my life being written out by other people. I am sick of it! You have know idea what my life is like!"

"But I do, Sophia. You forget that I have spent everyday of the last ten years with you. I understand feeling as if your life is out of your own control. I know you better than I know myself, my Queen. But you do not understand how truly free you are. You may not have your dream life, the life you were born to believe that you wanted, but you can make your own now. You are the Queen, you may do as you please."

"So long as your royal duties are not neglected, you are free, she is right." Hal agreed.

You smiled at the Queen, attempting to give her reassurance. "You can take a long holiday, take a lover, take a few lovers. Your destiny is your own, Sophia."

"Perhaps what you need are new perspectives. You may want a nice holiday, but I have gotten word that the childrens' shelter is in need of volunteers. Who better to inspire the young smallfolk than the Queen herself?"

Sophia remained silent, listening, thinking, taking in what you both were saying. She nodded, "I think I might like helping children." As she thought more on the idea, you could see her smile come back.

For @gatoenlaciudad, I love you.

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @lixzey @bitchyunknownuser @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen @yukideadinside @elloise0 @thatoneweirdgirl17 @mel-vaz @sammy-halpert @iwishchalamet @that-one-fangirl69 @jindongdongie @briefkittenearthquake @imnotoverlyobsessive

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

@zepskies

Hello my lovely friend! I am so happy to hear that you liked this chapter🥰. I was also very excited to read your chapter of "The Honorable Choice" today!

I love how you describe NYC here as Ben tries to figure out between his memories and what he's seeing. It really must've been so discombobulating for him, painful even, to know how much of his life has been eaten away and how the world has moved on without him.

This is exactly what I was going for! I really love that scene in the show where Ben is walking through NYC, but Jensen does such a wonderful job of showing how out of place Ben feels in that moment. Everything he's seeing is brand new with shades of the old world he used to know and he's gotta feel alone. Everyone he knew has either died or tried to stab him in the back. 😬

This feels very Ben, and it's heartbreaking really. He has that hope deep inside, almost immediately by the instinct to stamp it down for the sake of perceived "femininity," as if that equates with weakness. (Obviously for him it does.)

I know 😅😭 I wish that he wasn't this way, but Ben is so conflicted about expressing his emotions and he's not comfortable with those kinds of feelings. But at the same time it's what makes him so interesting to write for and also another thing that the reader can make him comfortable with. I really love that trope, when the reader is the only person that the grumpy guy can open up to and not feel judged by saying what they're really feeling.

And Yes! I always write Ben's mother as the softer parent that comforted Ben when he was a kid. It makes sense in the time period he grew up in, and maybe I'm also thinking a little bit about how Dean Winchester's mother was to him when he was a kid 😂

LOVE the gif of Shaq lol

Also, I love how you described how she's the "amalgamation" of every woman Ben's ever been attracted to, even comparing her to the women he noticed in his youth, and who he hasn't seen ever since. It's a special kind of timeless feeling that gets to the heart of him in what feels like a realistic way. 👌🏽

Thank you!! That is actually one of my favorite bits in this chapter. To me, Ben seems like the kind of guy who really likes a classic look and women who embody the characteristics of "the good old days." I mean, the dude complains so much about how things "used to be" that he's gotta be missing the way women acted when he was a kid lol 😂

Bruh could've at least talked to her and explained himself before he ran away, but nooo. Granted, he's going through a lot coming back to the U.S., and he's already gone through so much and has so much hate in his heart, it's probably for the best that he leaves her for now.

It broke my heart for him to turn his back on her too! But you're right, he should have tried to just be like "I'm your soulmate, tell me your address, I'll be right back." Unfortunately I feel like Ben would have said "I'm your soulmate. Tell me your address. I'll be back in a few days I just gotta kill some people first" LMFAO lol

I also can't stand minimalism. I mean I like things clean, but I need furniture that is actually comfortable lol

Yeep, precisely what I thought would happen, but the self-reflection is good, and the break from frivolous sex lol. Though to be fair, this means he hasn't gotten any since before the Russians got him. Also on-brand that he'd call it "pussy-like" to be pining for his own soulmate lmao.

I was really on the fence about Ben having a problem being with other women, because he is so sexually forward and comfortable with casual sex. In Take A Chance On Me, Ben is having sex with other women, but he's confused why he keeps thinking about the reader, but this felt different because it's his soulmate. So for me it feels right that no one else holds any appeal. Self-reflection is good lol. You're right he hasn't gotten any since Russia, but maybe it's easier for him now because he hasn't been having sex regularly or hasn't in the past forty years? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Also yeah, dude is simping over the other half of his soul and he still thinks that he shouldn't be feeling any emotion lol. The man is perplexed lol.

I had to throw in the Lorena Bobbitt 😂 If anyone had a freaky soulmate it had to be Legend. I love him, but he's got the same vibes as Barry's uncle in Bee Movie who is talking about the cricket with "crazy legs" 🤣🤭

Thank you so much friend! I always love hearing what you think 🤗 Oh and next chapter is going to be... different. Maybe even a little heartbreaking. 😅😬

Chapter 2: I'll Never Let You Go Again Like I Did

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!Reader, Soldier Boy POV

Summary: With a birthday printed on your wrist that happened over a hundred years ago, you always thought that you were cursed to never meet your soulmate. But when you finally meet the man that's supposed to be the other half of your soul, you wonder if the stars were wrong, and wonder how this man was meant for you. Reader is Hughie's sister, is not a supe, and is a Literature Professor that gets dragged into the middle of things. This fic takes place in an AU set loosely after Season 3 and does deviate from the plot of The Boys

Tropes: Soulmate AU, Little bit of Grumpy and Sunshine, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Protective Ben/ Soldier Boy, Jealous Ben/Soldier Boy

Warnings: Little bit sad, DENIAL, Homophobic Comments (Soldier Boy), Cursing, Mentions of drinking, Mentions of using drugs, Sexism, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of torture (Soldier Boy's Time in Russia) Loneliness, Longing (I mean… as close as Soldier Boy can get to it), Reader wears glasses?, Soldier Boy might be a little OOC.

Word Count: 6.4K

Song Inspiration For This Chapter: Until I Found You (chapter title is lyric from this song) and Coming Back For You

Note: Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue Is in First Person And Is In Italics

Playlist for Series (Spotify)

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

A/N: Oh my goodness I'm so excited about this series and thank you so much to everyone for all the wonderful love and support so far! It really means the world to me 🥰

One Year Ago: Ben POV

Ben squinted his eyes as he stepped out into the brilliant sunshine of the early morning, shouldering the strap of his worn backpack with a huff. The people on the crowded, gum covered sidewalks shot him odd looks and gave him a wide birth as he made his way down the path, but he didn't care, in fact he didn't notice them. His mind was somewhere else.

He wasn't sure where he was going, just that something in the pit of his stomach was pointing him in this direction. Ben had started walking in what he thought was the way to Legend's apartment, but the streets looked so different than the last time he was in New York and he was a little turned around, but he wasn't going to admit that to anyone.

And there was something in the pit of his stomach, some instinct or gut feeling, that was telling him he needed to go this way.

It was an odd feeling that prickled on the back of his neck, as if he'd forgotten something. Ben wondered what exactly it was that he'd forgotten. He hadn’t spoken aloud to anyone other than the scientists who kept him locked in a cage so he didn’t exactly have a social calendar to follow up on.

I've been locked in a lab for forty fucking years, what is there to forget?

But the more he thought about it, the more it seemed just out of reach.

Ben raised his eyes from the sidewalk with a sigh to look at the people passing by, taking in their new clothing and different hairstyles to distract himself. He frowned at the bizarre groups of people to him that flit by on their merry way, muttering little things under his breath about how things used to be.

Ben had a feeling that he was going to be doing that a lot.

New York City was different, the same, but different. Even though Ben had been gone for forty years, it still felt like the center of the universe. There were still hot dog vendors on every street corner, still magazine stands with freshly printed newspapers that smelled like ink and were warm to the touch, still coffee shops that lined the streets and caffeinated the masses, and there were still cab drivers who wove through traffic as if they were unstoppable shouting at pedestrians as they went.

The memories he had of old New York City merged together with what he was seeing around him and felt himself slipping into the past only to be jolted back into reality by the strangeness of the future.

He didn't like feeling disoriented, but it was there, brimming just under the surface. His body was tense as he walked prepared for anything, unable to relax as he continued on his way to wherever the hell it was he was going.

The morning sunlight reflected off the glass windows of the skyscrapers that worshiped the rising sun and the sounds of the city vibrated against the brick and mortar. There was a buzz of electricity in the air, the low hum of power that Ben could always hear beneath it all. Cars honked sharply, people shouted in colorful language to one another, and the wind rustled through the long strands of Ben's hair crinkling against his ears and scratching against his neck.

He hadn't had time to cut it or his beard and it didn't seem to be as important as finding Legend and getting his affairs in order.

The smell of hotdogs, earth, cologne, and heavy perfume wafted up with the breeze that tugged and pulled at his sweatsuit. The same stained sweatsuit he had found in a rust covered locker before hiding in the cargo hold of a plane headed back to the U.S that was probably almost as old as him. The plane ride had been long, but when he'd been in a lab for the past forty years it seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. He spent the whole time stewing in his thoughts. He'd slept enough and like hell he was going to drift off and let those Russian fucks take him again.

Ben sighed when he felt his memories begin to unravel on the edge of his mind, unfurling and asking to be relived. It wasn't unusual or unwelcome. Ben was using those memories to justify what he was going to do to his old team. As long as the rage continued to burn against his skin, Ben would have no problem breaking each of them down piece by piece.

Ben didn't understand how his team could have done that to him or why they'd done it to him. He thought that he'd been a good leader, a good American, a good soldier, a good hero, and yet they'd all stabbed him in the back. Sure, maybe he'd been a little rough on them, but Ben saw it as the only way to toughen them up. They needed thicker skin if they were going to survive in a world like this.

All I've done is give my fucking life to this country and what did they do? They gave me to the fucking reds.

His hand tightens on the strap of his backpack as he weaves through the crowds, trying his best to keep to himself when all he can feel is his anger and frustration building and burning hot under his rib cage. His new power stirred beneath the surface, energy beginning to travel through his body, tracing his veins and pulsing in the center of his chest.

I should have seen it coming. I should have killed that entire fucking bunch of pussies the second I had the chance. Especially that bitch.

His frowned at the thought of Countess.

Truthfully, when the two of them started messing around it was only because Countess's soulmate had died a few years before and Ben knew he wasn't going to meet his soon if anytime. He'd messed around with plenty of other women for the same reason and well…

Ben's frown deepened as he stepped around a couple that was walking arm and arm, the dates on their wrists flashing gold in the sunlight. He ignores the feeling that comes when he sees them, pushes it down into the deep recesses of his mind as he has done his whole life.

Since he was a kid, Ben wasn't sure that he believed the "soulmate thing." Sure he'd seen hundreds of other people around him find "the one," but Ben wasn't sure that he was made to be a soulmate. Especially not with a birthdate on his wrist so far in the future. He assumed that it meant he wasn't going to get a soulmate and he'd spent the better part of his life pretending that he didn't care about that. He was a man after all, and Ben didn't want to need anyone. At least, that was what he told himself.

Ben had lived long enough to see other soulmates find one another, witnessed the goofy looks on their faces when they locked eyes for the first time, and had the super hearing to listen to what came next.

But instead of focusing on the impossibility to meeting his own, Ben focused on the lie he told himself, that it seemed ridiculous to be intertwined with someone as soon as he was born. Not to mention that Ben wasn't sure that he wanted to be with someone, not when he didn't age and not when he'd have to watch whoever it was, if anyone turn to dust.

Yes, he could see himself settling down with someone, having a few kids, but Ben wasn't sure that whoever was supposed to be his other half was within reach anyway so why care? Ben knew that he didn't age, but he didn't actually think he'd ever get to meet you or that you would actually ever exist. Not when you were born so far away from him and not when he'd been trapped in that lab.

But that didn't stop a part of him from thinking about the possibility of meeting you. When things were quiet in the lab and he was left alone for a few precious moments, he felt his mind begin to slip into the question of what if?

What if you existed and what if you came for him?

He knew that it was a long shot. The only people that knew he was there were the people who stabbed him in the back. And Ben didn't want to cling to some fantasy, it felt feminine to fanaticize about the person who was supposedly meant for him breaking down the thick metal door and pulling him from the lab.

Again, Ben was trying not to believe in the "soulmate bullshit."

Countess had been a way of passing the time as had the numerous other women, but with them were moments when he'd feel something odd settle in his chest, something that he never could put a name to. In those moments he would raise his right arm and look at the birthdate printed on his wrist, the same one that Ben had kept hidden for most of his life, the one that when he was a boy people mocked him for, and the one his father chastised him for having as if it was Ben's fault that some celestial body had decided to single him out.

All of his childhood friends had found their soulmates and Ben had spent the better part of his life covering it up to avoid the conversation that always happened when someone saw the date. No ones soulmate was born so far in the future and Ben’s father had spent a lot of money making sure that word didn’t get out his son was a freak.

His father already made Ben feel like a disappointment and a fuck-up, but Ben was already thinking it himself every time he looked at the date printed on his wrist that seemed impossible. When his mother was alive she would try her best to make Ben feel better telling him that it wasn't impossible, that one day it would all make sense, but after her death Ben stopped feeling comfort, joy, and anything warm. All he felt was the cold shoulder from his father and the words that Ben pretended didn't hurt when his father was halfway through his second bottle of scotch with a third prepped and waiting on the kitchen table.

It made Ben feel like a pussy every time he looked at the mark and thought about his future soulmate, but he did it in private, usually after he'd had a few glasses of something and a few puffs or snuffs of something else to numb his mind. And he'd allow himself a single moment to think of you, wonder if he'd ever meet you, and wondered if you'd ever actually exist. In those few fleeting moments he believed in soulmates, but then he'd snap out of it and wake up the woman in bed next to him to distract him for another hour or so.

Ben's eyes flick to his right wrist covered by the gray and maroon tracksuit, his brow furrowing together. He was trying not to think about you or rather the possibility of you today. He didn't have time for that, not when all he wanted was to make his old team pay for everything they did to him.

But there was a little whisper of something in his ear, a small wisp of hope that he had finally made it to you, the one thing he didn’t think would ever happen, that he lived long enough to be alive the same year you were, and that you were out there somewhere waiting for him.

No. Ben tenses. I'm not going to think about her, not when those butt fucks need to be dealt with. I'm going to go to Legend's and then I'm going to-

He didn't see you in front of him until it was too late to move out of the way. Your body hits his full on in the chest, sending the bagel between your lips tumbling into the street, but Ben barely feels the hit, what he does feel is the dam he built forever ago burst open and warmth soaks into his body. Electricity skitters along his skin, crackling in the air as his eyes lock with yours only for a second. He feels like he's caught fire, as if the pieces of himself deep down inside are overheating and vibrating until there's nothing left, but you and him.

Any thoughts he had of his team and revenge are lost in the flood of emotions that fill the hole inside he tried so hard to ignore with the lie he continued to tell himself: “I don't believe in soulmates.”

And yet, there you were.

He can hear his heart and yours beating together as one, his own pounding so hard under his ribcage as if it wishes to break free and cross the space between your bodies. Seeing you for the first time feels like taking a bullet to the chest, the sharp jolt backwards when it lands and the pinch of flesh against Kevlar. It was worth the bruise if looking at you was the same way each time.

Ben can feel the world slipping away, going silent, and in that silence Ben is lost in you.

Holy Fuck.

You were the perfect amalgamation of every single beautiful woman that Ben had ever seen and fantasized about in his entire life. And yet you weren't what he was expecting. Over the years Ben had bedded many women, the ones who captured his attention for a night, but none of them were anything like you.

In all the ways those women were bold and dramatic you were confident, but not boisterous, beautiful but not haughty, respectful but not prude, and there was a kindness reflected in the warmth of your eyes that Ben had never seen before, but there it was staring back at him unblinkingly.

You reminded him of the women that came arm in arm with men to his parents lavish parties when he was a boy, the ones who were classically beautiful and reserved with the golden dates on their wrists catching in the light. The exact kind of woman he hadn’t seen for the better part of eighty years and the opposite of the women who had thrown themselves at his feet forty years ago.

Your hair falls forward into your face from the force of your body hitting his and Ben itches to push it back, to touch you, to feel his skin against yours to quench the burning that he can feel in his soul.

All of his instincts are telling him to pull you against him, that you're too far away even though you're standing only inches apart.  That he needs to breathe the same air and feel the warmth of your skin against his rough fingertips.

The birthmark on his right wrist sears his skin and he knows what it means, that you're the woman he's been looking for his whole life, the woman that always seemed just out of his grasp, the woman that was made just for him, and the woman he thought would never exist.

He watches your eyes widen with the same realization about him behind your round glasses, eyes that are the perfect color and eyes that Ben can imagine staring in to every day for the rest of his life. He'd never wanted to spend more than one night with a woman, never wanted more, but all of that fades into you.

The idea of a soulmate no longer seems ridiculous, no longer seems like something he’d never have, not when he’s looking into your eyes and nothing else seems to matter.

Not when looking at you is like seeing the sun sink into the earth at the end of the day and feeling the hope that it'll rise the next morning.

The lie he told himself for so long is slipping away the longer he stares at you, because although he never wanted to want anyone he knows that he needs you. It's an odd feeling for him. He's never once cared about anyone, told himself that it was weak to, that having a soulmate was a stupid idea and not for him, but all of the things he ever thought about soulmates is evaporating in the heat that is consuming his body by being in your presence.

Why now?

The thought makes the world come back into sharper focus.

I've lived decades without her and now the moment I come back to the U.S I just run into her?

It was laughable .

The moment of clarity allows the fantasies of his revenge to come creeping in and Ben feels the anger and rage ebbing on the edge of the wonderful feeling building in his chest when he looks at you.

You weren't a supe. Ben could tell that just by looking at you. He didn't think he'd ever seen someone so soft and yet someone that he wanted to possess so badly that it almost hurt to stand inches away from you.

I don't want her to be apart of this.

The thought is immediate, stirring some primal urge within to protect what's his. Because you were his. You were the missing piece that he pretended not to need and the woman who always seemed to slip into his mind when he was alone and all was quiet,.

The thoughts of what he's about to do to his teammates come surging up and he didn't want you involved in any of that. Not when he knew that he needed to protect you, that he'd drag you along, and you'd see all the ugly parts of him and see the horror of what he was about to do.

He didn't want that for you, he didn’t want the first time that he met you to be like this, him looking like he'd crawled out from under a rock and full of so much anger, rage, and frustration it felt like he was going to explode, him having a new uncontrollable power that meant he might hurt you, and him being unable to give you his full attention when all he could think about was the team that stabbed him in the back.

What he was, was selfish, he knew that about himself.

But I won't be this selfish.

Ben had made many mistakes his life, he knew that, had done some things that he wasn't proud of, but you wouldn’t be one of them. He didn't want to put you in danger and realized that there was only one way to protect you, because after all, he was the only one who knew that you existed.

His eyes trace your face one more time, memorizing it before he does what he thinks is right. Ben turns away from you and forces himself to keep walking. Each cell in his body is screaming at him to turn around, to run back to you, but he can't. He doesn't want it to be like this and he knows that you deserve better.

I won't do this to her.

“Wait-“ He hears you shout over the sounds of the street.

The sound of your voice is a soothing melody, a warm soak in a hot bath, a steady hand against his back, and a salve over the gaping hole where a piece of him was missing for so long, the hole that he tried to ignore  his whole life. He grits his teeth and continues to walk away from you, each step feeling like he's walking through tar the further he gets.

And deep down Ben is hoping that he did the right thing and makes a promise that he'll come back for you.

Present Day Ben POV

Why the fuck am I coming to this thing again?

Ben thought to himself standing outside the closed apartment door holding an expensive bottle of scotch. The same bottle of scotch that he was going to break open as soon as he crossed the threshold to get through this. He didn’t think that Hughie would appreciate it the way he would anyway.

Probably drinks those fucking fruity drinks with the umbrellas.

Ben didn’t understand why Hughie had invited him to this party or why Annie would let him invite Ben to it. Ben knew how much she hated him and the feeling was mutual.

Ben sighs as he stares at the door thinking about walking back to the elevator. 

Invited was a strong word. Ben had overheard Hughie talking about it in the break room with MM and when Ben walked in, Hughie felt the need to fill the awkward silence by inviting Ben to the housewarming party. 

Ben didn't know why anyone needed a housewarming party, but he chocked it up to another thing about the 21st century that he didn't quite understand.

He thought about all the people inside that he saw at work everyday, the ones that he tried to avoid all shoved in the apartment in front of him and groaned to himself.

Fuck, I should just go home.

Ben frowned at the thought of going back to his extravagant penthouse apartment downtown. The one that was two stories with a private balcony, six bedrooms, five bathrooms, a study, a media room, an exercise room, and overlooked Central Park with a view that would make anyone else salivate. His real estate agent had been surprised when Ben hadn't batted an eye at the price, but Ben didn't think about money the same way everyone else did.

He didn't have to, not with the money he'd earned over the years and not with the money his father, grandfather, and great grandfather in his accounts.

When he'd first bought the apartment he had been happy to get out from under Butcher's eye, who had a tendency to watch Ben like a hawk whenever he thought that Ben wasn't paying attention. But the apartment was large and cold, furnished with furniture that Ben had hired some twenty year old interior designer to buy, who charged him an outrageous amount of money to do absolutely nothing. She'd called it "minimalism," Ben called it "a fucking rip off."

Not one piece of furniture was comfortable to him and being there never felt like home. Then again, Ben didn't have a "home" to compare it to. His family mansion back in Philadelphia after his mother died had been cold and most of the rooms were closed off and the apartment he had in New York before he went to Russia was almost as big as his new one, but it never seemed like home. It always seemed like a way station, a place for Ben to entertain women for a short while before he went to a commercial shoot, a party, or on location for a film.

Even his cleaning lady and housekeeper would comment on the little things about his apartment that Ben tried to ignore. Honestly, Ben thought that she was fucking nosy, but she did her job well so he kept her on.

That and because he couldn't seem to remember her name no matter how many checks he wrote.

Ben didn’t like being in his apartment at all, but he knew that it wouldn't change if he moved. It wasn't where he lived that was the problem, it was that you weren't there with him.

It had been an entire year since he'd seen you and every day Ben walked the same path he had the day he met you for the first time hoping to run in to you. He didn’t have your name or your address or anything that he could have someone at work plug into a computer to find you. He'd tried to "google" you, but there was only so much he could do with the little information he had and he didn't understand how to find you other than the old fashioned way.

So he was back to sitting home alone every night trying his best not to notice how empty the apartment was, the one he bought that was more than big enough for two people. Sometimes he tried to stay out as long as he could to avoid going back to it, but each time he went through the front door it only emphasized how empty it was.

Ben's life was empty. He hadn't realized that before, but nowadays he was hyperaware of it. In the past he would have filled his life with women eager to warm his bed, but ever since he saw you Ben hadn't been able to think about anyone else.

Ben couldn't remember the last time he felt this frustrated and it only made everything harder for him. And as much as he tried to relieve the tension it never seemed like it was enough. He needed you.

And after he spent twelve months trying his best and he was tired of feeling restless he tried to pick up a woman in a bar.

Every cell in his body screamed wrong at the top of its lungs when he spoke to her, using lines that he'd perfected since he was a teenager. Ben knew he was good at that, but he fumbled the ball each time he opened his mouth. He tried to shake off the ghost of you, but when he spoke to the woman leaning against the aged wooden bar with a martini in her hand and wearing a dress that left little to the imagination, he got a flash in the corner of his eye of someone coming in through the door and he'd thought it was you.

He hadn't been expected to feel so ashamed, guilty, and embarrassed at the thought of you catching him with someone else. He'd been sleeping with women longer than you'd been alive and he'd never felt that way, but now that he knew you existed and knew there was a possibility of you running in to him, it was all different.

Ben's outlook on soulmates being "ridiculous" had evaporated on the spot the moment he locked eyes with you. He couldn't pretend that he didn't care anymore and couldn't pretend that you didn't exist.

How could he when you were the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen? How could he when a piece of him was with you? How could he when you were always on his mind?

He'd never had a woman have a hold on him so completely in his entire life, but you did.

She fucking does and I only saw her once.

It only made him feel worse. He wondered if he'd made the right decision when he turned his back on you.

Sometimes he liked to think back to the moment of when he first saw you when everything was quiet and he was sitting up in his bed staring down at the mark on his wrist that shone a brilliant gold. His mind would slip into those few moments of bliss and he would wonder what would have happened f he just said "fuck it" and didn't go after Payback, if he'd stopped and asked for your name, and allowed you to let him forget everything that happened in the past forty years so he could start his life with you.

Unfortunately, those moments were usually followed by the same self-deprecating thoughts that Ben had, the chauvinistic ones that he'd carried with him over the years, and the ones that his father had impressed on him from the moment he could walk and Ben couldn't seem to shake.

He'd berate himself about how it was stupid and pussy-like to pine over a woman.

Because that's what he was doing, he was pining over you and he didn't like it.

He didn't want to think of you as much as he did, but he couldn't help it. Now that Ben knew you existed he didn't want to miss out on another moment of your life.

Of course, he couldn't find you and that was the problem. Sometimes he wondered if you were looking for him as hard as he was looking for you, if you walked the same way each hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

The dreams didn't make it any better. He'd never heard of someone living the memories of their soulmate when they slept, but every night he was subjected to watching your life and it only made him want to find you more.

He'd never knew that someone could feel so lonely surrounded by people, never knew that someone could feel so out of place, and never knew that someone could be as sad as you were, but each time he relieved a memory of yours at night Ben could feel his heart twinge.

Ben watched the lonely birthdays you spent with a cupcake and a beer for him, saw the jeers of the people in your hometown and the pitying looks from your parents, felt your shoulders shake when you cried alone in your room and stared at the birthdate on your wrist, and he felt you losing hope as each year passed.

Ben didn't usually allow himself to feel emotion like that, but watching you go through it all hurt him more than anything those Russian fucks did to him. He wasn't used to that and he wasn't used to thinking about other people as much as he thought about you.

But something about him felt different after meeting you.

Ben had asked Legend about soulmates, specifically the dreams, but Legend had muttered something unintelligible under his breath and took another snort of cocaine from the mirror on the coffee table instead of answering. Their relationship had been a little awkward after Ben slept with Legend's soulmate forty years ago, but Legend didn’t seem to be too upset about it… anymore. Mostly because Legend's soulmate tried to pull a Lorena Bobbitt one night and Legend caught her before any permanent damage was done.

She was in prison, and Ben didn't understand why Legend still went to see her for conjugal visits, but he figured that she was as much of a freak as his old handler.

Just rip the bandaid off you fucking pussy.

Ben thought staring at the clean white door in front of him.

Truthfully, Ben was tired. He'd been running himself harder for the last month, throwing himself into his work because he was starting to believe that he was never going to meet you again, and it seemed like work was the only thing that could distract him long enough. But he couldn't escape sleep.

When he'd come back from Russia, Ben had avoided sleeping the best way he could and he got through a few days before he collapsed. The first dream he'd had of you had come on suddenly, but clear as day.

You reading on your bed in your apartment smiling down at the pages as if it the book was telling you a secret.

Ben wasn't a reader, didn't see any merit in it if it wasn't a western or a war book. The most he could tolerate was Ernest Hemingway, but he could have sat there and watched you read forever. You looked so peaceful, content, and happy that Ben was afraid to interrupt you even though it was just a dream.

But whenever he thought about you dreaming his memories, something dark settled in the back of his mind, because what were you seeing? He'd done a few things he wasn't proud of and Ben didn't want you to think that he wasn't a hero or that he was a bad guy.

Ben sighs and raises his hand to knock hard against the door with his free hand, trying not to open the bottle preemptively before entering the apartment.

"Ben?" Hughie says it like a question when he opens the door, eyes wide with the same stupid look on his face that always grates on Ben.

Ben forces his signature tight lipped smile that he flashes around the office. "Hey there sport."

"Hey. Wow, you're here." Hughie clears his throat and looks over his shoulder as if he's nervous about something.

Ben raises an eyebrow. "I was invited."

"Well yes but-"

"But?"

"Um-"

"Spit it out dipstick."

Hughie clears his throat. "I didn't think you would come."

Fuck I should have stayed home. He doesn't want me here, neither does his fucking beard.

Ben frowns listening to where Annie groans under her breath further inside the apartment and talks low under her breath to someone that Ben can't see.

"Well surprise and congratulations or whatever." Ben rolls his eyes holding out the bottle of scotch. He was hesitant to lose sight of it, not when talking to Hughie for less than five minutes made him want to down the whole bottle.

"Oh wow this is really," Hughie's eyes widen as he takes in the label and realize how much money Ben spent on the bottle. "Expensive stuff, thanks Ben."

"It'll put some hair on your chest." Ben claps Hughie hard on the shoulder as he pushes past him into the foyer of the apartment.

The entire apartment could have fit in Ben's living room and kitchen. It was made in a similar fashion to his, sleek white walls, sterling silver appliances, large glass windows that let in the light-

Ben stops so suddenly inside the area that leads into the kitchen that Hughie plows into his back, but Ben doesn't feel it.

He can't move, can't breathe, because he's noticed the person talking to Annie is you. This was the last place that he'd expected you to be, but he doesn't care, because you're here and you're more beautiful than he remembers.

You're standing there pouring ice from a large bag into a pink acrylic bucket with an adorable amount of concentration for such a simple task wearing the same sweater you were the day he first saw you. You're also wearing a little more makeup and your hair is longer, and not pulled back into the messy bun as it was that day, but you’re still you and you’re here.

His fingers twitch with the urge to run his hands through the tangled tresses, to feel if they're as soft as he imagined for so long.

Ben's body swells with emotion, goosebumps flicker over his skin, and all other sounds in the room vanish, because seeing you was like watching the sun rise and feeling the world hold it's breath as it basks in the early morning rays.

And Ben wanted to bask in everything you were, every day for the rest of his life. Now that he found you again he wasn't going to let you out of his sight.

Your soul sings to him as he nears you, the cells in his body vibrating so fast that he can feel every single one begging him to touch you.

You turn into him by accident, sending the bag of ice tumbling to the floor, but feeling your body against his sends him into overdrive and he can't hold back anymore. He reaches out to grab your shoulder as gently as he can without hurting you.

Hurting you was the last thing he wanted to do. And because you weren’t a supe he knew how fragile you were.

You gasp under your breath at the contact from his hand, but to Ben it sounds thunderous in his ears. Ben trails his hand across your shoulder, up your neck, to cup your chin and raise your face to look at him. He feels like his whole body is igniting as he makes contact with your skin.

He can feel an odd vibration in his chest as he does so, energy crackling and pulsing around the two of you, but the rest of the room falls silent. He can’t look away from you, not when seeing you again is like staring too long at the sun and he's left with the imprint of your light and beauty on the inside of his eyelids.

Ben can't focus on anything else, doesn’t hear the awkward chatter, doesn't feel the discomfort he had upon his arrival, doesn't notice the way everyone has turned to stare at the two of you, and doesn't feel the air conditioning turn on and blow cool air against his warm freckled skin.

All he knows is you.

Your eyes are wide and he suspects his are as well, pupils blown but still beautiful and hypnotic as they were one year ago. Ben feels a smile pulling at his lips and he lets it go, because standing in front of you, feeling like this, it’s impossible to do much else.

Your skin is warm to the touch beneath the roughness of his fingertips and he touches you with a reverence that he has never graced anyone else with, because you were his. Every part of you was made for him just as every part of him was made for you.

The your soul was calling out to him, weaving a golden cord of energy in his mind that snagged in the center of his chest and made him feel whole for the first time in life.

You reach out to touch him, the soft palm of your hand falling just over his heart and it makes something inside him break open to flood the space between the two of you.

Hope stirs in his chest with your gentle touch and your unblinking gaze, warmth trailing from where your hand lays against his shirt. His eyes drop to the wrist to see his birthdate, a glowing ember against your skin where the sleeve of your sweater has fallen down an inch.

Your eyes lock with his once more, full lips slightly parted, and breathless.

"I've been looking everywhere for you sweetheart." Ben murmurs, trailing his thumb across your cheek with a gentleness that he's never possessed.

Ben was not a gentle man, but for you he would try. He would be anything you wished him to be, for as long as he lived, because now that he found you, he was never going to let you go.

And he welcomed the challenge of anyone who tried to stand in his way.

As always thank you so much for reading! Reblogs, comments, and likes are not required, but are always welcome and appreciated! I really love hearing what y'all think. ❤️ If you'd liked to be added to the taglist for this series please let me know :)

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