#yes the show is the Borgias

[buffysummers]

Getting your friend to watch one of your favorite shows and having her be disgusted with your ship is such an awkward position to be in 😭😭😭

[borgialucrezia]

do you ever think about the fact that in the show juan picked the woman that most closely resembled lucrezia (aka his own sister) to be his bride??!!? because sometimes I remember and i'm like MY GOD WHAT AN INSANE LITTLE DETAIL!! even cesare did not do *that*-- then again, ces was fully aware of his feelings for lucrezia being more than what a brother should feel for his sister, whereas juan was not. but his subconscious? definitely aware!! truly fucking wild. I love it.

delicious food like he wasn't even subtle was he? and this is us ignoring how he became a jealous sobbing mess upon seeing lucrezia kissing paolo lol. now let's delve into juan's wife's portrait. we know how maria historically looked or at least her features in case her portraits weren't too accurate. however in the show maria heavily resembles holliday's lucrezia like...the curly blond hair, full lips, big eyes, or chubby cheeks? this is definitely not a mistake especially considering how everything about this show leans heavily on subtext and metaphors!!

he's not even trying to hide it this point cause look at her...too uncanny like alright then juan!!

and bro was so extra especially when he asked for her permission to marry maria? there are layers to this like i appreciate how he's trying to make her smile but…

like why is he asking HER for permission to get married? insane!!!! stuff!!! no one ever did it like this family!!!! (i mean… do we even need to talk about how she purposely walked in on him fucking some girl instead he was excited to see his sister and pretended like everything was normal as if nothing weird or inappropriate was going on lol?)

speaking of cesare, i lowkey parallel this with when he became obsessed with ursula bonadeo, seduced her, and took advantage of her since he saw her as a surrogate for lucrezia, projecting his sister onto ursula. both juan and cesare are genuinely so unhinged when it comes to lucrezia like inject all this into my veins asap!!

amazing. showstopping. breathtaking. talented. brilliant. superb. never done before etc

[teteminne]

have i told you guys that while I have watched the whole of the borgias i have not watched the last chapter bc I was stupid and dumb and silly and procrastinated on watching it bc I think deep down I wasn't ready for the series' watch to end for me/ kept waiting for a "special day" to go through the intense high I knew watching it would be but then when I did go watch it... it had... it was... it was fucking DELETED from EVERY STREAMING CHANNEL IN BRAZIL and is now UNAVAIABLE LEGALLY in my country.

I can't get over this. I feels like I'm being tortured by a higher being.

[grapecaseschoices]

@dakotawritesif tagged me to do my top nine shows! this is going to be a mix of shows i have/am really enjoying recently along with old faves. 

tagging: @dwead-piwate-meggers @clintnatalias @trebondialanna @horchatabun @thelittlestspider @thee-morrigan @laufire @callmetippytumbles @serenpedac @watertribegirl @veeteeshirt @santir0sales and whoever else wants to!

[tea-space]

Started The Borgias the day before yesterday and binged watched the entirety of season 1 it was quite entertaining to watch. Also THEM they have so much tension between each other.

I finally decided to watch it cuz the girlies on twt keep talking about it. There were some plots and things I didn't like since it made me uncomfortable, like Lucrezia's first time. I enjoyed the drama with the characters relationships forbidden/affairs that were all going on I loved the messiness. Cheering on everyone to pursue what they desire. I feel like the production team really put their efforts into this the costumes, hair, location plus the actors are hot. I'll continue with season 2 when I have time.

[telltaleanatomicalheart]

when hotd s2 drops i’m staying OFFLINE bc a lot of y’all r haters and i’m trying to change.

[medievalandfantasymelee]

COME ONE, COME ALL to the MOSTE ILLUSTRIOUS TOURNAMENT of the FINEST, the MOSTE PUISSANT and HOTTEST MEN MEDIEVAL MEDIA HAS TO ITS CREDIT.

Be it known that we shall accept submissions of the hottest men OF THE PEOPLES’ CHOOSING from any live-action* TV or movie media property set between the years AD 500 – 1550 (Tudors WELCOME!!), and any fantasy properties which emulate said period!

KNOW ALSO that we, by the grace of this fine hellsite and with the counsel of the moste honorable and illustrious @hotvintagepoll (many thanks), have made

THESE GUIDELINES here given:

ANY HOT GUY who appears in any movie or TV show released in ANY YEAR, from ANY COUNTRY, shall be deemed eligible for entry. Below are listed examples of eligible properties. If YE BE NOT CERTAIN whether your hot guy is eligible, submit him anyway!

Examples of Eligible Properties: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-03), Game of Thrones (2011-19) House of the Dragon (2022), Wolf Hall (2015-2024), The Tudors (2007-2010), Ladyhawke (1985), The Princess Bride (1987), The White Queen (2013), Rise of Empires: Ottoman (2020-2022), Vikings (2013-2020), The Last Kingdom (2015-2022), Diriliş: Ertuğrul (2014), A Knight’s Tale (2001), BBC’s Robin Hood (2006-3009), The Last Duel (2021), The Story of Minglan (2018), The Borgias (2013), Robin Hood (1939), Outlaw King (2018), Pilgrimage (2017), Legend (1985), Braveheart (1995), The Green Knight (2021), Excalibur (1981), Beowulf & Grendel (2005), The Lion in Winter (1968), Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993), The Black Adder (Blackadder Series 1, 1982), Rashomon (1950)

Remember: This is just a list of examples—WOW ME!

These following titles are examples of properties that do not fall within or emulate the stated time period and therefore DO NOT QUALIFY: The Three Musketeers (Any Version), Pirates of the Caribbean (2004), Barbarians (2020), Gladiator (2000), Ben Hur (1959), Shogun (2024), Elizabeth (1999), 300 (2006), Troy (2004), Xena: Warrior Princess (1995-2001), Disney's Robin Hood (1973)**, Yojimbo (1961), Shakespeare in Love (1998), King Arthur (2004)***

For the purposes of this tournament, "Man" and "Guy" are defined as any bi-pedal humanoid male character played by a man. As such, characters belonging to non-human races such as Hobbits, Orcs, Elves, Demons, Fauns, Werewolves etc. ARE admissible, and, indeed, encouraged.

If you have propaganda you forgot to include in your submission, just hold onto it and send it in an ask after the Tournament begins.

You may submit as many hot men as you like but please submit only ONE ENTRANT per submission.

Do not hesitate to submit ANY hot guy you think may qualify, no matter how popular he is. There is no such thing as a shoo-in with these tournaments. If you think "Someone MUST have submitted him already!" Everyone else is probably thinking that too and then he may well NEVER get submitted and we don't want that.

Do not worry about how many submissions your hot guy might have had already--I need to get a sense of who the strongest contenders are in order to fairly seed the draws, and the best way to do that is volume of submissions.

We are voting on the hotness of the characters. While the actors who portray them are of course a major factor in this, we are not voting on the actors themselves, therefore propaganda pertaining to the actors real lives (aside from anecdotes relating to their portrayal of the character) is not admissible.

By that same token, in the case of historical figures (e.g. Henry VIII) we are judging hotness based on the fictionalized portrayals of them in these properties, not on historical fact.

Regarding immortal/time-travelling/dimension-hopping/extremely long-lived characters, regardless of when the character was born, the main action**** of the story must take place within the Medieval Period (see dates listed at the top of this post) or Medieval-esque fantasy fantasy realm in order for them to be eligible for submission. As such, characters like the Pevensie brothers (The Chronicles of Narnia) and Ash Williams (Army of Darkness) are admissible, but Asgardians (the MCU Thor films) are not.

I, as the Administrator and Master of Revels of this tournament, am exercising discretion in the admittance of characters from works by Shakespeare, since many of them have no set date.

Re: characters adapted from books/written works - Book quotes by/ about your character are not admissible as Propaganda for their tv/ movie counterparts unless said quotes were also written into the show/movie.

Book illustrations and fanart are not admissible Propaganda

SUBMISSIONS SHALL REMAIN OPEN UNTIL MIDNIGHT, JULY 1st

The Tourney shall begin at a date yet to be determined with the Melee (Qualifying Rounds), wherein the entrants with the fewest submissions and least propaganda will duke it out in a free for all brawl to determine who will enter the Lists.

SUBMIT YOUR ENTRANTS HERE TODAY!!!

-- Master of Revels

*The "live-action" qualification does have a caveat: exception may be made for those CGI films which were all the rage in the mid-00's that used the motion-capture and likeness of the actors; for example characters from, Robert Zemeckis's Beowulf (2007) are admissible.

** this one doesn't qualify, not because it isn't the right time period, but because it falls solidly under the "Animated" category.

***Yes, sadly we are deprived of the beautiful countenances of Clive Owen, Mads Mikkelsen, Ioan Gruffudd et al because the producers of this film in their infinite wisdom and in an attempt to seem "more historically accurate" chose to set it during the Roman withdrawal from Britain, which occurred in the 5th Century (About a CENTURY earlier than Authurian tradition) and is generally agreed to have ended by AD 410. It therefore does not fall under the Medieval umbrella and is not eligible for submission.

**** "Main Action" here defined as "More than half an hour of a movie and more than two episodes of a series"

[inchidentally]

https://www.tumblr.com/piastrisms/755627714405367808/when-i-saw-the-1st-photo-my-first-reaction-was-i?source=share HOLY SHIIIIIIT??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so I'm an idiot and posted this reply to the wrong ask so here it is in the right one !!!

listen !!! we get one of these 'omg he's wearing a ship name/other driver's name bracelet' things fairly regularly and I'm like yes it's cute for the pic but then you watch when these guys are given the bracelets and they're just jamming them onto their wrists without even looking in all the rush. so it was v cute at first seeing the Oscar bracelet on Lando but I was like it's the same situation as usual.

and then !!

like. Lando's pride and sense of ownership about Oscar (in a sweet way) isn't anything new so him deliberately choosing to keep that one bracelet even after changing and showing Oscar during the fan stage is just. it's totally in character.

bc the symbolism babe the symbolism and the poetry of Lando having been literally raised in the house of McLaren and thick as thieves with the team owner and having seen off two older teammates by the time machinations were underway to spirit off one of the sport's greatest generational prizes from the fate of eternal backmarker perjury… Lando's position and sense of responsibility toward McLaren by the time 2022 was winding up was already something higher than the average team's superstar. he was what Max is to RB and Charles is to Ferrari, except without the Amadeus caped father figure looming behind him or the Borgia/Catholic church blood sacrifice and intrigue.

so while everyone understandably foresaw immediate tragedy in pairing Lando with an even younger generational talent and Lando twisted and writhed under the idea of being someone else's "mentor" and the "elder" after about three months he realized what a gift Oscar was to him. Oscar already knew an exceptional amount about Lando, he admired him, he agreed to an open door policy between the garages with no resistance, he never minded when Lando's attitude wasn't exactly the best, was always waiting with a smile when Lando would turn his attention to Oscar, suffered any team orders without argument and wanted Lando to guide and help him with media duties and the heightened attention so that Oscar could hold up his side of things. Oscar entered Lando's house with respect and eagerness and humility without being clingy or trying to use a relationship with Lando to boost his own PR or try to ingratiate himself. Lando almost defiantly made it clear he would remain loyal to his previous teammates (when not on the track) and instead of Oscar getting jealous or deciding to pull away from the relationship with Lando, he just agreed with him because he's been a fan of Carlos and Daniel for just as long and he's been a fan of carland0 and dand0 for as long as they've existed! and then he'd lift his chin and puff up his chest whenever Lando would praise him but otherwise gave Lando the space and respect Lando didn't even realize he needed to become one of the big boys instead of a little brother to one of the big boys. Lando went through a meteoric shift as a driver and a person over 2023 because he no longer had the crutch of an older teammate and that he deserved to view his position with McLaren and in F1 just like they did - and not as the baby. but !! Oscar would help Lando's dyslexia and anxiety by close observation and assistance! Oscar would smile and indulge every time Lando was in one of those moods that Carlos would have firmly scolded him out of or Daniel would have tried to joke him out of before warily backing away from.

because outside of the car or a standing on a podium, Oscar couldn't wait to change into the same kit as the engineers and blend in with the other papaya shirts milling around. he didn't waste time ruing what might have been and therefore he never resented or envied Lando proudly parading his trophies and beaming into Oscar's face or conspiratorially over Andrea's head and calling Oscar by a nickname and bringing up Oscar's good driving. and when Oscar stepped off the podium at Monaco to the team photo, a struggling Lando turned to him and murmured something that had Oscar proudly and reassuringly patting Lando's knee in response.

like. Oscar was the strong, capable, exceptionally talented present that McLaren set down next to Lando and allowed him to discover it and open it in his own time and just. goddddd. him proudly slipping an Oscar bracelet on his own wrist and choosing to keep it on and show it off to it's namesake. like rpf/shipping fully fucking aside Lando is absolutely bursting with pride and smugness about Oscar and that the young man who had the backbone to weather the biggest PR storm of 2022/23 is now unable to take his eyes off Lando and has that soft smile and tilted head reserved just for Lando and likes to stand a step or two behind Lando in front of crowds because he think Lando is most worth showing off. that's His Osc so why shouldn't he wear his name on his wrist after the bitter disappointment at his home race bc at least when it comes to Oscar, Lando always wins :)

[darklinaforever]

I've seen people say that we shouldn't be shocked that Daemon violently grabbed Rhaenyra by the neck to strangle her in episode 10 because he would have done it in episode 5... Wtf ? This, for you, is a scene of violence ?

Oh god yes, that seems so revealing of a man who would physically abuse the woman he loves ! 😂 You know, it would be like seeing that scene between Cesare & Lucrezia in The Borgias, of Cesare preaching becoming physically abusive with Lucrezia :

That does not make any sense. 😂

And I like to remind all these people that in Fire and Blood, there is no suggestion of Daemon's physical abuse of Rhaenyra of any kind, and we know that GRRM does not hold back from depicting this kind of violence, and what's more, the dance was told by pro greens maesters, so there would have been everything to gain from reporting this type of rumor but no, there's nothing.

There's not even anything to really suggest that Daemon has ever challenged Rhaenyra's authority as queen.

This stupid scenario only exists in HOTD and it's disgusting and full of great misogyny for a show ironically trying hard to seem feminist.

Also, nothing suggested that Daemon would be physically violent with Rhaenyra or more simply with the people Daemon loves in general in first 8 episodes of HOTD. Not once does the show suggest he might lay a hand on a loved one.

Rhea Royce doesn't count in my eyes, because Daemon clearly despised her and Daemon with the people he doesn't like and sees as his enemies can be a monster. Even if this scene will always stick in my throat because once again in Fire and Blood, Daemon never killed his wife.

Those who claim that Daemon's violent behavior towards Rhaenyra is perfectly consistent need to actively read or reread the source material, and rewatch the first 8 episodes of HOTD with open eyes, and or perhaps just learn how to write a screenplay consistent.

Oh and anyone who enjoys this type of scenario for any reason is just disgusting.

[teecupangel]

IDEA: Desmond gets turned into a creature of your choosing, just has to be able to “write”. And yknow how we always go with the ‘his writing becomes illegible’ thing? What if all of his writing is unreadable except the word “Desmond”. Drop him in with Ezio and watch the chaos unfold.

I was thinking what creature we should go for and my brain just went ‘screw it, go with Slime Desmond so we don’t have to think if the creature can actually use a quill or if he’s using his hands to write’.

Then my next thought was “Wouldn’t it be funny if Desmond could write ‘Desmond’ but he can only write it in a specific language that Ezio doesn’t know? Like… the Isu script?” but you know what would be funnier?

Desmond had always been an intelligent creature.

He used his strange body structure to make creative shapes that Ezio would be able to decipher and understand. He was the best scout and planning partner to have.

His uncle believes Desmond was a descendant of the slime ‘companion’ the legendary Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad supposed had.

If he was, Ezio could see why everyone believed Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad was the best mentor the Brotherhood ever had.

Desmond made everything so easy that Ezio knew he needed to not depend on him too much. He needed to be able to stay on his own feet. To show that he was a formidable Assassin in his own rights.

That was why he asked Desmond to stay in Monteriggioni while he went to the Vatican to finally confront Rodrigo Borgia.

He focused on the safety of his family, knowing it was Desmond’s soft spot.

And it worked.

Desmond stayed and Ezio went to Rome alone.

And then he heard Minerva’s message.

‘Desmond’.

She specifically said Desmond’s name.

Desmond wasn’t a usual name and…

It was the only ‘word’ Desmond could write.

So when he returned to Monteriggioni, he briskly walked towards Desmond and crouched in front of him. Desmond’s entire body seemed to be vibrating slightly and Ezio pointed at him as he asked in an almost panicky tone, “Desmond?”

Desmond created too slimey appendages and pointed at himself, waving the tentacle-like appendages furiously.

“Desmond!” Ezio repeated and Desmond began to vibrate more noticeably.

“Desmond!” Ezio said cheerfully and Desmond started bouncing in front of him in pure joy.

“Why is my brother repeating Desmond’s name?” Claudia whispered from behind them, looking both confused and tired already.

“I’m not entirely sure…” Mario answered as he rubbed his chin.

“Ah, of course!” Ezio grabbed Desmond midbounce and held him in his arms before turning to face his family and allies. He recounted Minerva’s message and what he had seen, making his allies wear different expressions on their faces.

When he got to the part where Minerva specifically said Desmond’s name, Mario’s eyes widened as he asked, “Nipote, are you saying…”

“Yes.” Ezio raised Desmond to his eye-level as he proclaimed…

“Desmond is a messenger like Minerva! He keeps writing the name Desmond because he is looking for him!”

Desmond’s happy vibrations immediately stopped and then…

WHACK.

A tentacle appendage suddenly appeared from Desmond’s body and smacked Ezio behind the head, making the Assassin yelp in surprise and let go of Desmond.

Desmond quickly hopped away from them and went straight for the secret door that would lead to the Sanctuary below.

“What? What did I do? Was it supposed to be a secret, Desmond?!” Ezio followed the slime, already knowing it would be sulking behind the statue of Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.

… leaving his family and allies back in the office who stared at the secret entrance.

“…………. well… who’s going to tell him that Desmond is angry because the obvious answer was he’s the Desmond in the message?”

“I will respectfully decline. For one, I don’t want to argue with Ezio about how that idea is foolish as this Desmond is meant to be alive centuries from now to save the world.”

“O dio mio, does that mean our Desmond used to be Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad’s Desmond?! Is Desmond immortal???”

“I’m going to bed. Wake me up once my brother stops being stupid.”

[borgialucrezia]

i think the fun part of fully understanding your favorite media is by analyzing/criticizing it and delving into the hidden meanings that are deliberately coated into it otherwise it would feel like you're just blindly consuming content!! like after i finish something i need dozens of essays and a handful of years of yapping about it but stay safe y'all <3

[silviakundera]

fyi to the world at large, a year late I finally started watching Lost You Forever. Like 7 or 8 ep in, idk.

Yes, it's that good

Incredibly, compulsively watchable. Starting this at the same time as The Royal Princess began airing was perhaps a mistake

Really enjoying her weirdo4weirdo relationship with the snake demon, because by the first handful of episodes they both privately consider the other their recalcitrant pet that sometimes tears up the furniture when it's cranky

And I mean, they're not wrong about that either 🤔

lmao so is this where i admit that mentally I've started calling recovered torture victim guy Her Ugly Boyfriend? (sorry to this man!) (at first I told myself, he's not unattractive he's just your normal nondescript guy. but I can't help it 😭😂😭 I'M SORRY YOU SUFFERED SO MUCH AND NOW I'M SASSING YOU IN MY BRAIN)

Her (Not?) Ugly Boyfriend is ready & willing to bang regardless of the sex of her body (and canonical lack of regular bathing?) so do not take my shallow critiques as a rejection of his suit

Plus he does the dishes 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟

Really got invested in the quest to get Freckles & Skinny married. TBH it's too bad the story can't stay in this little town.

Next cdrama hot xanxia concept: small village that sits on the border of like 4 territories of different races that all have very 🌩 dramatic 🌩 things happening in them... but in the village there are just multi-generation families trying to arrange marriages and lure over the best tutor for their kid and 2 competing rouge shops and a wine dealer who is always trying to convince the townspeople to branch out and try new things but is thwarted by everyone's basic tastes. Occasionally big players from these other territories show up in town because they're fleeing some conflict or are plotting Grand Schemes, but then get roped into regular every-day village disputes.

Wavering between Evil Batman and dangermousie's Borgia Boy nickname for FL's cousin-brother. (Look, by day he's a rich playboy touring the land to entertain his spoiled sister. By night, 🦇THE GREATEST DETECTIVE 🦇)

I was all ready to board that ship, because I am very predictable, but then he has been fucking with her lil family too much and I've put him in a time out. I'm gonna need some intense incestuous yearning to reel me back in. Until then, sit in a dark subplot corner & think about what you've done.

I know, he's not gonna think about what he's done

He'll only get worse.

[lady-arryn]

curious why you think hotd s2 was a downgrade costume vise?

I just find their costume design for season 2 very repetitive and unimaginative. Separately some of these costumes might be ok, but as a whole it's a complete miss! For me. Because, while I love costuming, I'm absolutely no expert and I have zero education/knowledge, so this is just my personal opinion based on personal preference! Just putting this out there, just in case! I'll rant a little bit more under the cut.

My biggest gripe with the female costumes this season is that there was no variation in color or silhouette for majority of them. If you'll look at Rhaenyra (and the rest of the team Black ladies) you can see that they all look incredibly similar. But not in a good way.

Broad, triangular shoulders, cinched waist. Overlap style neckline. Or just a triangle. Red, black. Material might look coarse. Cape. Dragon motif.

You could probably swap these dresses between them, because they don't have any personality (except maybe the last one with dragons on shoulders, but the cut is still so samey with everything this season, it just doesn't have the effect it should have).

Alicent's wardrobe is no better. Open-cut sleeves. Chain at the waist. Beading work. Dark green/blue.

Her silhouette also doesn't change and while she goes from green to blue throughout the season I just don't find the color variation to be enough of a change to make me appreciate it. Too little to late. Helaena's costumes are incredibility similar as well.

(I also think a lot of the materials looked cheap/modern. It was like I almost could smell the polyester. Even if they didn't use any, it looked like it for me.)

And as for the male characters... Jace simply had more masculine version of Rhaenyra's fit. I'll be honest, I can't recall any specific outfit worn by Aegon, Aemond or any of the Green counsel. Did they even had multiple? Or was it just a trousers and tunic with belt? I honestly I don't remember. Maybe it's on me for not paying attention and I'll admit I'm not good with male costuming, but to this day I still remember Joffrey's wardrobe from GoT - it had colors! patterns!

(To not be a complete hater, I actually liked a lot of the armour - Daemon's and Oscar's in particular, but also the Hightower troops with Gwayne and the various extras. Simon's purple robe was quite pretty, even if it seemed a bit generic overall. I liked they Freys a lot, the veil was gorgeous! Rhaenyra's last dress had gorgeous details and shined beautifully on screen. And I think they were trying with Jeyne Arryn, even if I personally find the results a little amiss.)

I know that I'm being very harsh and I don't want to sound mean. And I don't even expect this show to try and be as creative as for example The Borgias were with Lucrezia's dresses. Even when you look at costumes (that might be historically inaccurate and critically ridiculed, but alas) in shows like The Spanish Princess or The Serpent Queen, I think this is the direction they should be going for. Characters actually look royal. Materials seem rich and opulent.

And yes, maybe it makes sense to keep characters in similar colors and designs because it's easier for the viewer to immediately tell what's going on/who they're watching. But still, if that was their goal, I just think they went too far and lost the creative spark.

(If I'm using an incorrect term to describe something I'm sorry, I don't talk about costuming in English much, so I might confuse some of the technical words!)

[inked-night]

At the precise moment Ellenia slipped through the crowd, leaving a trail of floral perfume and polite murmurs, the smile painted on Freya’s face vanished like mist at dawn. Her expression transformed into a grimace of disgust so pronounced it might have been carved in stone. Beside her, Rudbeckia de Borgia, Izek’s betrothed, held a wine glass with the grace of a lady… or so it seemed.

"I'll be frank, Rudbeckia" Freya began, her voice as sharp as a knife's edge. "I don’t think you’re the right match for Izek"

Rudbeckia, who had been in a contemplative silence (Well, she was actually evaluating the salon curtains, finding them excessively ornate to the point of bad taste), was forced to focus on the young woman with purple eyes. 'Is she talking to me?' She wondered, pointing at herself in a gesture so belated it almost showed dust settling.

Looking back, Rudbeckia’s life had always been a carousel of the absurd (She had spent her days dying and reviving in an endless cycle to appease The Entity! Of course her sense of normality had twisted like a pretzel!), but even she had to admit this latest turn of events was perplexing.

Just hours earlier, she was in the realm of Haddonfield, playing cat and mouse with that scoundrel Michael Myers (The rascal kept trying to impale Illyana on a hook!), while her companions, Cale, Shen Jiu, and Penelope, busied themselves repairing the last generator…

How had she ended up being catapulted to another world that, by some cosmic joke, turned out to be her first life? Not that she had memories of it, but still, who was the genius who brought her back? And why had they separated her from her beloved girlfriend and comrades?

Illyana, this poor Rudbeckia misses you! But fear not, Rudbeckia will find a way back to you.

"Do you think that because Izek treats you kindly, you deserve to marry him?" Freya spat the words with venom so subtle it almost floated in the air, while she poked Rudbeckia’s chest, hoping to provoke tears or at least a grimace of pain on her unperturbed face.

"Marry?" Rudbeckia blinked, surprised by the mention of such a commitment. Her mind, usually drifting in a state of blissful intoxication by the presence of her attractive girlfriend, accelerated at a dizzying speed. She opened and closed her mouth several times, trying not to appear completely clueless, though she was known to be slower than a snail in an obstacle race when it came to matters unrelated to Illyana. "Why would I marry anyone other than my precious, magnificent, and adorable Lyna?" The response came automatically, with a tone of indignation suggesting that the mere idea was blasphemous (And this coming from someone who had at one point shared blood ties with Myers).

Marry some Izek in this life? Never! Rudbeckia was resolutely loyal to Illyana. She had dreamed of her ideal wedding with Illyana more than once. Lyna, dressed in white, adorned with the most dazzling jewels in the world, and Rudbeckia, crying tears of joy, would cling to her future wife’s waist as she dramatically fell to the ground, overwhelmed by the honor of being loved by Lyna. Rudbeckia would try to kiss the ground Lyna walked on, but she, as benevolent as a saint, would pull her up by the hair (Yes, yes!) to calm her, patting her back and giving her looks full of sweetness and affection.

"W-What?"Freya froze at Rudbeckia’s torrent of words, unable to fully process what she had just heard. "Are you mocking me?" She retorted, gripping her fan so tightly the ribs creaked. "Who the hell is Lyna?"

"My future wife!" Rudbeckia proclaimed with such vehemence it seemed she had opened the floodgates of a dam that everyone (Cale, Shen Jiu, and Penelope) had decided to keep locked with padlocks and possibly tons of cement. The passion and love Rudbeckia felt for Illyana were so intense and cheesy they bordered on exasperating. "The woman for whom I would give my life! No, forget that, if anything happened to Lyna, I would raze this unworthy world to ashes and then join her in death"

Rudbeckia loved talking about her girlfriend. She could spend hours, entire days, rambling about any detail of Illyana, to the point it was worrisome how she could speak nonstop without taking a breath in those moments when you had the misfortune to ask her about 'Lyna'.

Cale thought Rudbeckia had a problem… but Rudbeckia had no problem! Nothing in this universe was worth or as fascinating as Illyana! Rudbeckia was born to adore that precious, ethereal woman!

"No, wait…" Freya didn’t expect to stutter, but she also didn’t expect this young woman, daughter of a conservative and devoutly Church-going family, to speak so rapidly about a woman, whom she described as: 'The Goddess of Goddesses, before whom all should bow and feel grateful if Illyana ever glanced at them!' "Stop… Are you even breathing!?"

"Look, look, I have pictures of her!" Rudbeckia, ignoring Freya’s frantic attempts to stop her, pulled out a wallet from nowhere (Do wallets exist in this world? No? Luckily, Rudbeckia always carries hers, filled with photographs she took with the full consent of her beautiful albino!) and unfolded it, showing images of an albino woman with long, wavy hair, vibrant fuchsia eyes, and soft features that seemed to hold all the calm and patience of the universe.

Freya could only watch in horror as the object extended to touch the floor, and not only that, she was sure the wallet had wrapped around a nearby column. What kind of sorcery was that!?

"And what about Izek!?" Freya tried to regain some ground against Rudbeckia’s verbal onslaught.

"Who needs that Izek fellow?" Rudbeckia paused her monologue for a moment, looking at Freya as if she was the one who didn’t understand anything. A smile lit up her face, almost glowing, forcing Freya to squint. (Freya could swear she even saw hearts floating around Rudbeckia!). "I was born by my mother, and I will die for Illyana, preferably being suffocated between her thighs"

[cinmngirlnfr]

Juan Borgia Arranged Marriage Headcanons

Note: I'm trying to make this as close to the show as possible (Juan being an asshole) I in fact can't fix him. Shout out to the Phantom of the Opera. Also, I'm sorry if there are any mistakes, english is not my first lenguage.

Summary: It is 1493, Rome. After a long friendship with Lucrezia Borgia, where you spent most of your childhood at her house, so much, so that Venozza and the Holy Father himself started seeing you as their child. When The Pope was looking for a spouse for his second son, naturally, you were the first to cross his mind. Your parents of course showed no opposition. It seemed perfect, The only problem? You and Juan Borgia had hated each other since you first met all those years ago

Warning: Allusions to sex, Allusions to sexual violence, violence.

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ENGAGED

When your parents told you about the arrangement, you wanted to puke. Juan Borgia was the last man on earth you would like to marry, and even if he was the last man on earth, you were not sure if you would take him.

Lucrezia was delighted, finally, she would have you as her sister. At least you would get something good out of this.

When Juan first heard of this, he was enraged, he wanted to marry a princess! Someone up to his level, not his sister's annoying best friend.

It was very weird at first, you had always seen each other as brother and sister, you grew up together, and grew irritated and annoyed by everything the other did.

Venozza would be basically the only one planning the wedding, although she asked for your and Juan's opinions, both of you would just say yes to anything with hopes of the whole ordeal being over.

I think the only thing Juan would be interested in picking, is the entertainment, like he did at Lucrezia's wedding.

Juan didn't think you were ugly, but the image of spending the rest of his life with you would make him want to drown himself.

I imagine the Pope hosting many events to present you guys as a couple, but also, he had an agenda of making the two of you like each other.

In these gatherings, you were very polite to the guests, and both your parents and Juan had instructed you to act in love. Juan already had a reputation in Rome, and the way the Pope to such the rumors, was by creating a love story where his son was in the center.

Your fake smiles to your betrothed were clear. The problem lay when Juan had too many glasses of wine and started to hug you by the neck and kiss your cheeks, screaming in a mocking tone "OH MY SWEET WIFE TO BE!" You were beyond annoyed.

WEDDING DAY

Juan gets very drunk.

He will flirt with the actresses he hired.

You would probably be sitting annoyed on a table, sipping wine and eating bread, contemplating your future with the man who is currently drunkenly singing on top of a table.

The first dance was awkward as fuck.

Although Juan is not able to deny how beautiful you look in that wedding dress, and how good you would look without it.

Is he actually getting impatient for the wedding night?

However, he keeps drinking. It's a celebration! There is not such a thing as "Too much wine."

WEDDING NIGHT

You were young, and this was the Renaissance, there wasn't much sex ED.

You actually were not sure what to expect, your mom had told you that intimacy was painful, and the nuns had told you that it was only meant for procreation and to serve your husband.

You had been told that you could never say NO to your husband in any context, but especially not on this.

So naturally, you were confused but relieved when Juan Borgia was too drunk to even stand on his two feet, let alone consummate a marriage.

You tried to guide him to the bed, but he was much bigger than you.

He fell on the bed dragging you with him, leaving you trapped between his semi-unconscious body and the mattress.

"Look at my pretty wife..." He mumbled, and you rolled your eyes.

Somehow you managed to get him on his back and release yourself.

"Good night, Borgia" you sighed once you finally were able to get comfortable.

You thought he was done bothering you for the night.

Boy, you were wrong.

Hours later, the sun was starting to rise, and you woke up, by a slightly less drunken Juan Borgia on top of you, kissing your neck.

The sensation was strange... Not bad, almost ticklish. It made you want to giggle, GIGGLE! FOR JUAN BORGIA!

"What are you doing?" you ask confused.

"Finishing the task we had last night..."

And so he did... Let's just say, intimacy was way better than your mom and the nuns had described it.

MARRIED LIFE

Every hour he had, every second he spared, was to either think about doing you or actually doing you.

God! You were so annoying, acting all bratty, and making his life impossible.

He still couldn't keep your naked body, or your soft whimpers out of his mind.

At first, it was pure lust, it really was.

You both kept the same dynamic of annoying each other, yet there was a new element, sex.

When intimate life is that good, when the bed chemistry is so powerful when all the lust is only fueled by hatred, and of course, being no condoms at the time, it wasn't a surprise that you got pregnant very fast.

Yes, Juan pretended he didn't care for you.

Seeing you pregnant with his child tho... That fucked with his brain chemistry a bit.

Why did he suddenly want to hold you? He felt disgusted with himself.

Before this, all the sinful thoughts he had about you were fulled by the need to ruin you, to corrupt you, almost to make you submit to him since he knew that in any other way, even if it was hard for him to admit, you could easily outsmart him.

But now... He wanted to protect you, to make sure you never suffered again.

He realized he was down bad when you asked him to join you in a walk around the town.

He didn't want, for you to expose yourself like that, but he would have never admitted to you that he cared for your well-being.

He followed you closely, while you gracefully walked around the plaza rubbing your belly.

And it all went downhill, when a man, a peasant, walked your way and tried to touch your belly without your consent.

You politely tried to get away, but the man kept harassing you.

The next thing you saw was your husband beating the man to death, while he yelled things about, how dared a peasant even look at a noblewoman.

I mean, he was the head of the papal army, no one blinked an eye.

He then realized he would kill for you, he had done it, and he would do it again without hesitating.

The next time he realized how much he cared for you was when your son was born.

Then he realized, when you held that baby in your arms, sitting in the bed next to him, humming a sweet song for the child to calm down. He realized that what he felt for you was love.

[sansaorgana]

Okay, just...imagine Feyd holding his baby daughter in his arms during a meeting; she'd just gone to sleep before it, so he tries to get the others to talk quietly so as not to wake her up. When one of the others inevitably talks too loudly and wakes her up crying, Feyd just gets mad and hisses "Ugh, now you've woken the child! Shame on you!"

(Inspired by this one clip from the TV show The Borgias lol!)

oh yes!!! I watched The Borgias like 10 years ago but I saw a gifset of this scene lately on my dash and I believe I reblogged it, too! ❤️

also... imagine Feyd in a meeting in his serious and dignified outfit while a small little curled up baby sleeps on his chest??? and if it's a girl imagine a tiny bow in her hair... 😭😭😭🥺