#and yes it really does play well with david saying he wanted to be in a throuple with lucrezia and cesare!

[borgialucrezia]

do you ever think about the fact that in the show juan picked the woman that most closely resembled lucrezia (aka his own sister) to be his bride??!!? because sometimes I remember and i'm like MY GOD WHAT AN INSANE LITTLE DETAIL!! even cesare did not do *that*-- then again, ces was fully aware of his feelings for lucrezia being more than what a brother should feel for his sister, whereas juan was not. but his subconscious? definitely aware!! truly fucking wild. I love it.

delicious food like he wasn't even subtle was he? and this is us ignoring how he became a jealous sobbing mess upon seeing lucrezia kissing paolo lol. now let's delve into juan's wife's portrait. we know how maria historically looked or at least her features in case her portraits weren't too accurate. however in the show maria heavily resembles holliday's lucrezia like...the curly blond hair, full lips, big eyes, or chubby cheeks? this is definitely not a mistake especially considering how everything about this show leans heavily on subtext and metaphors!!

he's not even trying to hide it this point cause look at her...too uncanny like alright then juan!!

and bro was so extra especially when he asked for her permission to marry maria? there are layers to this like i appreciate how he's trying to make her smile but…

like why is he asking HER for permission to get married? insane!!!! stuff!!! no one ever did it like this family!!!! (i mean… do we even need to talk about how she purposely walked in on him fucking some girl instead he was excited to see his sister and pretended like everything was normal as if nothing weird or inappropriate was going on lol?)

speaking of cesare, i lowkey parallel this with when he became obsessed with ursula bonadeo, seduced her, and took advantage of her since he saw her as a surrogate for lucrezia, projecting his sister onto ursula. both juan and cesare are genuinely so unhinged when it comes to lucrezia like inject all this into my veins asap!!

amazing. showstopping. breathtaking. talented. brilliant. superb. never done before etc

[berrieluv]

ʚ 𖦹₊˚. remus lupin x fem!reader

summary: remus dies his hair red and you go feral.

kiki says: i saw this pics of david and i couldn’t help it. this history contains smut, MDI please, it mentions reader and remus being in his twenties and in college. reader is a horn dog but with a bf like remus who wouldn’t. there’s mentions of cum play, oral sex (male receiving) but it’s mostly domestic life fluff i think. sorry if somethings is wrong, english isn’t my first language.

ʚ 𖦹₊˚. ʚ 𖦹₊˚. ʚ 𖦹₊˚.

smut below the cut.

remus lupin had no right being this extraordinary specimen of a man he was. he was already too cool for you to handle, the mastermind behind every marauder plan, one of the top students in all his classes, what’s more attractive than a boy who loved to see the world burning but never burn with it.

sometimes you pinched yourself every time he called you ‘baby��� because nothing felt real next to him. it didn’t feel like you were on earth.

“no” you signed as soon as your boyfriend entered your shared department with a half smirk “no, no, no, no, NO!”

the last ‘no’ was higher and accompanied of a tantrum, the kitchen flannel was now on the floor and you walked straight to the bedroom. remus followed you, frowning in silence and found you lying in bed.

“what?” he chuckled.

“how could you do that do me?”

“what did i do” your arms start to violently move, pointing at his — now orange — hair. “well, sirius had a perm and he said i would look good”

“sirius had a perm?” you were really curious about what would made him take that decision, and more, how did it turned out?

“yes, never mind. what’s wrong with my hair?” he said, touching his already messy hair “i can change it if it bothers you that much”

you turn to face the pillow and take a second to scream against it.

“you look really fucking hot” you respond nonchalantly, as if you weren’t throwing the biggest tantrum of your early twenties. “it’s not fair”

“you’re like this because i look good? i thought i looked hideous. i thought i looked like those unemployed people who drop out of college to start a band”

“you look really good” you say “and definitely knowing you’re going to the university helps your character a lot”

“then what?”

you sigh in pain “i masturbate at the thought of you a lot, remmy”

he chuckles “thank you, baby”

“a lot, remmy” you emphasize “i mean it”

“i masturbate thinking of you too”

“yeah, the two times you’ve ever masturbate, and i’ve always finish it for you”

“what’s that?”

“you don’t like masturbating”

“well, no” he starts “i have you. and even before of that i wasn’t a fan, sorry?”

“not the point” you discard his apology “the thing here is, that doesn’t affect you as much as it does to me” you feel suddenly embarrassed, hidding your head on the pillow while remus sits on the mattress with your legs on his thighs “i can see myself getting out of bed later thanks to you. taking more time showering because of you. and what when you’re not here? i’ll just think about that stupid hair and have to do it”

“c’mmom” he laughs “you don’t masturbate at the mere sight of me”

“you don’t know what’s going on under those sheets, remus”

“fine. fine. fair enough” he kisses your shoulder “i don’t mean to brag, baby, but you make me feel really desired”

“you are, remmy. why do you think i make sure to kiss you every time we’re at the school cafeteria?”

“because you love me?”

“no, silly” he looks at you offended “well, yes, that too. but i just have to make sure everyone knows you’re with me”

remus chuckles again, that’s the only thing he knows how to do in moments like this one, where he felt so close to you and in his mind was only one thing.

fuck you.

in any way he could, he just wanted you to warm his cock.

he threw your shirt somewhere in the room and now he was on top of you. both of his legs at your sides and he just took his time kissing your lips and caressing your face.

he took off his clothes as soon as he could, he was an eager and busy man.

remus fucked like he was being chased. his goal was making you cum as fast as he could while that motherfucker just smirked and edged himself, watching the whimpering mess he made you, you couldn’t take any more and yet he still hasn’t cum.

“my pretty, pretty, baby”

remus sat on your belly, his already hard cock was resting between your breasts and he holds himself onto the bead board with one hand while the other toys with your boob.

you moan in his lips and he just has to bite your lips.

“my pretty, horny princess” he’s making fun of you. you know it by the smirk forming in his stupid handsome face “eager, baby?”

he knows you are, you always are. remus starts to move his hips against your torso, his balls humping against your skin.

a few seconds before that, remus starts getting closer to your mouth, finally standing with his knees in a way that his cock is directly in your lils.

you of course, receive him with an open mouth, how could you not when he looks this hot.

his balls are resting on your boobs and his big cock is now inside of your mouth, he toys with your face as if it was nothing, like you don’t have a gag reflex at all.

remus caresses your face with a soft completely opposed to his strokes. every time you suck his dick he makes a mess of you, he pulls out for a second and slaps your pretty face, you moan and he smiles, how can this moment not be perfect?

“you’re the prettiest girl i’ve ever slapped”

you chuckle, you’re also the only girl he’s ever slapped and you intended to continue like that.

remus kisses you after putting his cock on your mouth again and this time you raise your head so he could hit deeper, he holds your hands as soon as he sees you trying to touch him and he laughs every time he felt you wanting him to let go. he pulls out of you and he hears your cries, because you wanted more.

“what, baby?” he smiles, leaning down on you to kiss you “you know i wouldn’t cum right there. s’ not much like me, is it?”

and it wasn’t, but you thought that maybe that hair would make him change his mind and not be so cruel about filling your mouth with cum, his cum.

“don’t be mean, remmy” you manage to say while trying to get back your breath. “s’ just not fun. you don’t cum. and i don’t cum, why are we even having sex?”

he smirks and raises his hands in a way of declaring himself innocent, of what? you wouldn’t know, remus’ brain overworked while having sex and yours simply stopped working.

“you wanna cum, baby?”

and, as if being under his body with your face covered in saliva and his pre-cum wasn’t humiliating enough, he had to make you bed.

“yes, please, remmy” and you were weak. you would beg if he wanted you to. “please, please, i need you, need your cum, remmy”

“wow, you’re unbelievable. how do you look this pretty while begging? i would look embarrassing”

“s’ part of my charm”

“let’s have you cumming, baby, shall we? if you’re good enough i’ll stuff you with my cum too”

“not too many rounds, remmy. just cum”

he laughs, but you’re not kidding. he kisses your temple and nods.

and by the end of the night you’re a complete mess. there’s cum leaking from your pussy and you can still taste it in your mouth, your breasts are sparkling with it too and remus tries to get you up to take a shower but you’re way too proud of yourself.

remus lupin came four times that night, and here you were thinking that red hair didn’t make him change his mind, because there was no way a brunette remus lupin would cum more than twice the same day.

“and ruin my victory that soon?” you responded when he begged again for you to go to the bathroom with him “let me be, remmy”

“baby, i promise i’ll cum more but please. you have to pee and shower”

“i’m just so happy right now, remmy”

“have a shower and i’ll stuff your pretty pussy with cum again for you to sleep like that, fine? but at least you’re clean for the night”

and just like that, your body was already receiving the cold drops of water.

[fandomgirlz01]

Somewhere Out There 

Paul {TLB} X Reader

Imagine on fandom instagram?: No

Prompt or Request or Requested Prompt?: No

Style of Writing: Stand Alone Fic (has potential for more in the future though... 😉)

Rating: R for some mature themes such as smoking as well you know the description of a vampire losing it and going absolutely raving mad, like so mad all he sees is red 😉

Edited: Yes

Word count: 4,867

Post Date & Time: November 1st 2024 at 12:16AM

Ko-fi

Masterlist

Warnings Here 

Listen to the story be read out loud here.

Summary: Ever since all the vampires have known they and humans alike have a soulmate. The only member of the lost boys who hasn’t found his other half is Paul, but what happens when he does actually find them? 

PSA from Faith: This is the first time I am writing for a character from The Lost Boys. I just love both Paul and David as well as Dwayne and Marko. Yet I also love Mike so you might see more of this fandom down the line… maybe. I have loved some of the works that I have read for this fandom, however I did notice there’s not very many where it’s not just centered on one of the boys specifically so I thought I’d give them (especially my favorites) a little attention. I did try to keep some canon and I also went non canon so before any of you guys come at me for it not being all accurate, this is just how I foresaw the boys okay? By the way you do NOT need to have seen the movie to read this fic. Yes it’s based off of the characters, but it will be spoiler free if you choose to watch the movie that is completely up to you guys. That being said I have NEVER written a soulmate AU before so if this isn’t 100% right, I’m sorry, but again this is just how I wanted to depict it all and I just really wanted to try something newish. Thank you and please enjoy the story! 

Song that goes with fic:

Many say Santa Carla has its deep dark secrets hidden away in the shadows, and only some know what those secrets are. Just like every night the boardwalk is lit up; couples walk under the moonlight none the wiser to what lurks in the night, others play games and go into the stores or on rides. Shouts of cheer and fright are all surrounding while the vampires make their usual meander all over the boardwalk, senses sharp yet vigilant as they look for anything they can do for a bit of amusement or maybe even find some dinner. 

Tonight, however, David notices that Paul seems to wander back behind them, seemingly feeling down which is unusual for the other blond vampire. Paul kicks at the dirt as he finds himself locked in his thoughts once more, thinking about her and what she might just be like. David laughs at something Marko said before telling the baby of the group (a nickname given to him by all the boys because that’s just what Marko is, the baby who everyone wants to protect, the happy-go-lucky spirit of the group and most innocent looking one) to keep going and he’ll catch up to him soon. Marko agrees before skipping off to walk and talk with Dwayne. David watches his brothers for a moment before turning around. He comes up beside Paul and pats him on the back, knowing just what Paul is thinking about. 

Ever since the vampires knew they each had a soulmate, all that mattered was when they’d find each other. The only one of the group who hadn’t found his soulmate yet was Paul, and sometimes he’d get discouraged when thinking of it all. When he did, he’d leave the mind link so his brothers didn’t have to hear his incessant inner thoughts, but David knew. He always knows. 

“You’ll find her, Paul. I know you will. It’s only a matter of time,” David tells his brother as he pulls him into his side. 

“Yeah, but it’s been so long, David. You’ve all found yours. What if I’m not meant to have one?” Paul asks, discouraged once more and David holds back the sigh he wants to let out at having had this conversation a million times before. 

“Listen, Paul. I know it feels that way. I used to feel that way before I met Nyra, Dwayne felt that way before meeting Amalie, and Marko felt that way before meeting sweet Charlotte. We’ve all felt that way at one point or another. It’ll pass,” David promises as he squeezes his brother’s shoulder. 

“I don’t know, David. It’s been a lot longer for me…” Paul again denies and David clicks his tongue to the roof of his mouth. 

“Well, you still have that song title written on your wrist, don’t you?” David asks.

“And you still see all colors, right?” Marko asks as he pops up behind the two, always the one to pop up at random times. 

“Yeah. I still have both…” Paul mutters as he holds up his wrist, showing the song title Somewhere Out There, a song by Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram that he knows well. 

“See, if you didn’t see color anymore or the song had faded, that’d mean she was dead. The fact you have both is a good thing,” Marko cheerily adds on, slapping him softly on the back and Paul only sighs. 

“What if she doesn’t have it? I mean, I’m dead myself,” Paul adds on and David shakes his head, laughing. 

“I’ve told you, Paul. I was dead and I still had it all, still do,” David informs him as he thinks of his Nyra and Marko hums in agreement. 

“And technically you're not dead, you're undead! Huge difference, buddy,” Marko very pointedly yet happily adds.

“I don’t think being a vampire changes the soulmate laws. I think you’d have to be dead dead, like in the ground dead for that,” Dwayne adds with a shrug as he now jumps in to help comfort his brother. 

Nobody really knows all the details about soulmates and the way it works. For centuries, they’ve all just known that it’s a powerful thing that only comes from the universe. People have done studies, but even then they’ve only learned the basics, so people and vampires just go with it, continuously being pulled together. 

“Who knows! Maybe you’ll find her tonight!” Marko again happily adds on, not knowing how right he might just be. 

“Yeah… maybe…” Paul sighs out, choosing to just agree with them to change the subject. 

Each of them always found their other half and David was sure it’d happen for Paul at some point if not sooner than later. Turns out David, Marko and Dwayne were right because as the night went on, they continued to goof off on the boardwalk for a few more hours before suddenly Paul felt different. He couldn’t put a finger on why he felt lighter all of a sudden. He thought for a moment maybe it was the new strain they’d all smoked before the night started, it felt like being high, but at the same time it didn’t feel like the high he was used to. 

“Do you guys smell that amazing smell?” he asks, perking up as they ride on the carousel again for the millionth time. 

“No. What is it, Paul?” David asks, concern written all over his face until he realizes what’s going on. 

“It smells sweet and fresh. Like… like…” Paul struggles to describe the smell that just hit him. 

“Like vanilla and cinnamon mixed together. Like… home…” Paul finally mutters as his confusion grows more and more. 

“Paul. Follow the scent. Let your nose guide you,” David commands his brother with a growing smile that he shares with the other boys, who catch onto what’s going on. 

“What? Me? Why? I suck at catching dinner,” Paul asks, knowing he definitely isn’t the best hunter of the group. More often than not, somehow Paul would lose his prey and Marko is the first to snicker. 

“That isn’t dinner you're smelling, Paulie my boy,” David tells him, his own grin growing in happiness for his brother. 

“What is it then?” Paul asks, confused and Marko face palms. 

“Dude. Just follow it and maybe find out!” Marko shouts as he pulls his hand away from his face and Paul shrugs. 

“Okay. What could it hurt?” he asks nobody in particular before doing just as his brothers had said. 

He follows the scent, electricity seeming to flow through him, making his toes and fingers tingle the more he moves toward it. The scent grows more and more intoxicating, making him feel more primal than ever before. The sweet smell only calls to him like a siren's call, making his whole body seem to light up. 

He continues to follow it, his brothers all flanking him, egging him to keep following it as they protect him while he’s in his unusual focus. The closer he gets to the alluring scent, the thicker it gets in the air. His blood boils though his veins which if he was not so focused, he would have thought that was weird for a vampire, but he could care less at the moment. He continues to follow the scent like he’s a compass needle, looking for its true north until he comes to a stop in front of the music store. He stands there frozen as he looks on at one of the workers, a girl at the counter talking with a customer as she rings them up. 

“Welp, Paul, my boy. I’d say you just found yourself your soulmate,” David happily comments as they all watch you from the large opening in the side of the building. 

Paul doesn’t answer as he watches you in awe and without knowing it, Paul’s ears activate his vampire hearing so he can hear you. He smiles to himself as the first thing he hears is the music you have playing on the boom box behind you: Somewhere Out There. Then he’s smiling wider as he overhears your conversation, your voice a brand new melody he never wants to forget. 

“That’ll be eight dollars, buddy,” you tell the kid who reaches into his pocket. 

“Oh. Linda Ronstadt. I love her work,” the kid tells you as he hands you the money and you smile warmly at him. 

“I love her too, but this is my favorite song. You wanna know why?” You ask the kid, putting the ten dollars he gave you into the register and without a doubt Paul knows exactly what you’re gonna say. 

“It’s mine and my soulmate's song, see,” you happily tell the kid after he nods and you hold out your wrist. 

“Wow! You and your soulmate must really be meant for one another then,” the kid tells you and you grin even more as you go back to getting his change. 

“Here's your two dollars back. Have fun listening to that tape,” you tell him as you reach out and hand him his money. 

Meanwhile, Paul still stands frozen, just staring at you in awe. His brothers all stand around him, smirking as they watch the lovesick look that he’s had to watch on all their faces wash over his own face now. 

“Well, aren’t you going to go over and say hi…?” Marko asks, nudging Paul a little bit, but again Paul doesn’t speak back, so entranced with watching you. 

You watch the little boy leave until he walks around the corner and then feel someone’s eyes on you, so you look around until your eyes land on Paul. The two of you make eye contact and stare at one another for a few minutes before he seemingly snaps out of the moment and walks away looking sad. You don’t know why (well actually that’s a lie, you have an inkling as to why, but you shrug it off) but you feel sad that he seems sad and wish you could just give him a hug. With a shake of your head, you decide to leave it be seeing as he was with a group of what seemed to be friends that could comfort him and just go back to work. 

“Paul?” David asks as Paul starts to hastily walk away, moving faster and faster by the minute, heading for his bike and his brothers follow after him in confusion. 

“Paul? What’s wrong? That’s your soulmate, buddy. You gotta go say hi!” Marko tries but Paul shakes his head, seemingly angry now. 

“No, I don’t,” he almost practically seeths out before kicking his kick stand up and starting his bike up. 

The three brothers watch on in confusion as he rides off and once he’s gone, Marko turns to David. David stands there with arms crossed, trying to figure out what would have spooked him. 

“You’d think he would have been happy. He’s been waiting for this moment for centuries…” Marko comments in utter disbelief and confusion. 

“You would think so,” Dwayne comments next, breaking David out of his thoughts. 

“Let’s go find him,” David commands before getting onto his bike with the others following suit and getting onto their own bikes. 

Together they all ride out to the cliff side where they know Paul goes when he wants some peace and quiet. Sure enough, they find him there sitting on his bike and smoking another rolled cigarette with his head low. 

“Paul?” David asks in an attentive tone, which is unusual for the vampire who’s normally commanding and stern.

No matter how cold, commanding and stern as he can seem or be, he still cares for his brothers, all three of them. David, Marko and Dwayne slowly get closer to him, if anyone was watching them right now, they would be surprised to see vampires of all creatures being soft on one another, but again Paul is their brother. They found each other and became family and as David likes to say, family comes first. 

“Paul, what’s wrong?” Marko softly asks again out of character.

“What’s wrong? Ha! What’s wrong?!” Paul retorts in what sounds like disbelief, rolling his eyes at the question. 

“She’s human! I can’t go near her. I’ll hurt her and I could never ask her to become one of us and… and…” Paul trails off, taking a gulp as he now tries to hold his tears back. 

“It’d ruin her beauty, man…” Paul sadly mutters, shaking his head in anger. 

“And to ask her to give up her life. Just to be with me. I can’t… I won’t…” Paul chokes on his words before lowering his head, refusing to look at his brothers. 

“Paul. How do you know that isn’t what she’d want? You gotta at least try to fight for her,” Marko comments with a frown, sad for his brother. 

“I don’t care if that’s what she’d want, Marko! She’s my soulmate! It’s my job to protect her! How do I do that the way I am?! Huh?!” he shouts in his brother's face, anger running through him as he heaves while Marko takes a step back. 

“How do I protect her from myself, huh, Marko?? Tell me that one,” he continues to let his anger take over before he sighs, turning around. 

“But if you love her that much already, then you couldn’t hurt her. You’re only hurting yourself by not reaching out to her,” Marko continues to try and convince Paul, who scoffs again, shaking his head as he flicks his joint away. 

“No. I’m protecting her. My pain is a small price compared to if she were to be hurt,” Paul mutters softly before he shrugs halfheartedly. 

“I’ll meet you guys back home at the cave,” Paul softly promises before kicking his kick stand up and starting the bike back up. 

“Dude needs to calm the heck down,” Marko comments as they all watch him drive away. 

“He’s just blinded by the shock of her being human. He’ll come around eventually. Paul always does, he likes to stew in his thoughts, ya know,” Dwayne comments back and Marko laughs in agreement. 

“Yeah. For being the wild carefree guy he is, he definitely is too broody sometimes. And people say you're the broody one,” Marko adds on with a roll of his eyes and Dwayne nods in agreement, chuckling along. 

“Hey. I’m most definitely the broody one. Paul is the crackhead. He smokes more than any of us…” Dwayne practically complains, making Marko laugh some more. 

“Awe, jealous that your place will be taken?” Marko taunts and Dwayne crosses his arms across his chest. 

“At least I don’t get called the baby…” Dwayne argues back with a smirk when Marko shyly grins, proving his point. 

“I actually don’t mind it…” Marko replies with a shrug and Dwayne shakes his head at him. 

“Of course you don’t,” Dwayne chuckles out and David reaches up to grab onto both of their shoulders, giving a light squeeze. 

“Okay. Okay. That’s enough, you two. Come on,  We’ll just leave him be for now. He’ll reach out though the link should he need us. For now, let’s go find dinner for ourselves,” David commands with a roll of his eyes at their play fighting. He still worries for Paul, but he knows he just needs time to come to terms with everything. 

“You got it, big D,” Marko jokes and Dwayne holds back the laugh he wants to let out at David’s annoyed look. 

This is how it always was with the brothers. Dwayne is definitely more silent and broody when others are around and Marko is the innocent curious one. David is leader and commander while Paul is the crackhead that will jump to do anything, yet Paul has always been the most in touch with his emotions, hence why he smokes. 

Meanwhile, as his brothers go on the hunt for dinner, Paul finds himself back at the boardwalk and sits on the beach, just watching the waves. He can still smell that intoxicating scent that he now knows is all you, so very strong that it makes him want more and more of it. He keeps his eyes closed, listening to you talk to all kinds of different customers that come and go. Soon before he knows it, you're closing up shop, saying goodbye to your coworker that stands with you as you pull down the door and lock it up tight. It’s only then he realizes all the loudness and craziness that normally surrounds the boardwalk is now quiet. 

He watches as you turn and you pull your headphones that had been resting around your neck up to your ears. He then starts to follow you, but stays in the shadows just watching over you. At first you look around like you're weary of something or someone being around, but you shrug nonchalantly and continue to walk. He watches over you with pure adoration rolling off of him, yet he also stays vigilant in case someone or something were to harm you. However if anyone saw the way he follows you, they’d probably say he follows like a lost puppy.

Finally after a long walk down the beach, you walk up the stairs to a door and open it before heading inside which makes him realize it’s probably your home. He stays for a while, just sitting on the bottom step, not fully ready to leave you just yet. Eventually the sun starts to rise, so he reluctantly leaves you safe in your apartment and heads home back to the cave. When he walks in, it’s only then he realizes he hadn’t eaten, so taken with making sure you were safe to even really care. He walks further in and finds David sitting in his wheelchair he loves so much. 

“Did you eat, Paul?” David asks with a raised eyebrow and Paul shakes his head. 

“I, uh… forgot…” he mutters, thinking David would be mad, but he’s surprised when David just smiles. 

“It’s okay. We saved you some. Did you figure out what you want to do?” David asks and Paul sighs once more. 

“I’m going to leave her be. That’s it,” Paul tells him and David sighs, sitting forward. 

“Paul. The universe will never let you stay away from her. You might be able to resist for a while, but eventually something will pull the two of you together,” David tells him in a pointed tone. He tries to be soft on him even though he wants to just command him to go talk to her or have max sire him to do it, but David won’t do that, he knows Paul has to choose to go to her himself. 

“It’s whatever, David. I’m going to eat and go to sleep,” Paul responds, shrugging before disappearing toward where they store their food sometimes. 

David frowns as he watches his brother disappear before sighing and shaking his head. David stands slowly from the chair before going and joining Dwayne and Marko as well as all their soulmates in sleeping from the rafter, knowing Paul will join once he’s finished eating. 

Three months have gone by now and every night, David seems to notice that at a certain point in the night Paul will just simply disappear. Where Paul disappears to, David thinks he knows, but he doesn’t want to try and interfere and so he lets him do his thing. 

Once again Paul sits in the sand, watching the waves and just listens to you the whole night. He’d come to realize that your voice is more calming to him then even a joint could be, so he just sits there and listens. Like every night since that first night he’d sat there listening to you and enjoying a peace he never knew he needed until you close up shop. Without fail every single night for the past three months, he waits until you have your headphones on and then he stays in the shadows as he follows you home, just wanting you safe. However, tonight something feels off and Paul just can’t figure it out. 

He’s been trying to figure out why your scent that’s so alluring to him seems off, but he can’t place why. He’s in such deep thought about it that he doesn’t clock the two surfer nazi’s creeping up from the other side. It’s when the one guy grabs you and pulls you into the dark under the boardwalk that Paul is alerted. He quickly follows after and finds one of the surfer nazi’s holding you struggling against the cement wall while the other one seemingly watches. 

“I told you earlier I’d find you and we’d have some fun,” the surfer nazi holding you growls as you continue to squirm and fight him. 

“And I said I didn’t want to. I do have a soulmate, ya know?!” You shout out and for a minuscule minute Paul stops to wonder if you’ve known he’s been around, but he shakes his head clear. 

“And I said I don’t care. Now stay still,” the surfer nazi commands out though a growl and when you don’t do as he says, he reaches up to smack you, fear falling over your face. 

Paul, however, feels his veins boil and an anger he’s never ever felt before washes over him. All he sees is red as he transforms into his vampire self and pulls the first guy off to the side, snapping his neck in the process before pulling the second guy off of you. You watch on as he pulls the guy away and punches him down before crouching over him. He bares his fangs before sinking his teeth into the guy's throat and ripping at it. When he’s satisfied that the guy is good and gone, he stands, heaving for breath, blood all over his face. Suddenly though, like breaking through a fog, his anger dissipates and he turns to look at you. 

You sit there against the sand, staring at the scene in front of you and he immediately rushes over. He crouches down next to you, shielding your view of the carnage behind him. 

“Hey. You okay?” he asks softly and all you do is nod as you stare at him with wide eyes, making him think you're scared when you're more in awe. 

“I’m sorry if I scared you at all, but I promise I am of no threat to you,” he quickly informs you, hoping it’ll help calm your fear, but he’s shocked when you softly smile at him. 

“I’m not scared of you, far from it actually…” you pause, trailing off to bite at your lip. 

“I was actually wondering when you’d come out of the shadows and talk to me,” you shyly admit, a blush on your cheeks now and a warm fuzzy feeling takes over Paul’s stomach. 

“It, uh, it was about time…” he admits almost shyly himself even though he’s shocked that you knew he'd been there all along. 

“I take it, you know who I am then?” he asks and you grin, nodding. 

“You’re that cute guy I saw a few months back standing on the beach,” you tell him, not quite sure if he knows about the two of you being soulmates or not. 

“I’m uh, y/n. Thank you for saving me…” you shyly continue and he shakes his head. 

“I’m Paul, and there’s really no reason to thank me,” he responds with a shrug as he gives you his name in return. 

“Hello, Paul, it’s very nice to meet you,” you joke with him and he chuckles, not being able to help but just adore you. 

“Here. I’ll walk you home,” he starts as he stands before holding a hand out for you. 

“So basically what you’ve been doing for the last three months, only I can actually talk with you now?” You jokingly ask in faux shock and he playfully yet bashfully rolls his eyes. 

“I had my reasons-” he shrugs before you place your hand in his and his sentence gets cut off with a halted breath as the two of you stand. 

He’s stunned by just how easily your hand fits in his like a puzzle piece and how warm you are. You look up at him, making real eye contact for the first time and as he looks into your eyes, his whole center seems to shift once more as an all consuming love for you just flows through him. 

“Are you okay, Paul?” You ask as you reach up and rub his cheek, trying to get some of the blood off, shocking him even more. 

“No. Yeah, I’m okay,” he tells you although he so badly wants to kiss you, but before he can he’s shaking his head as if to rid himself of the thought. 

“Come on. Let’s get you safe at home,” he fully breaks the tension now, ruining the moment and you frown before nodding as the two of you start to walk. 

Hey, boys. There’s food on the beach if you want it. He reaches out to his brothers though the mind link they share before you nudge him as the two of you walk. 

“So are you the only one I’m safe with? Or is your whole group supposed to like, protect me now?” You joke, but Paul can tell it’s a serious question that you want answered. 

“Nah… No vampire will hurt you. Not with me around now. Definitely not from my pack anyway. You’ve kinda already been adopted into the family,” he informs you and you give him a confused look like you're not fully getting it. 

“You’re part of this family whether you decide to change or not…” he tells you while trying to hide the fact he knows your soulmates. 

“Why?” You ask, egging him on hoping he’ll say it first and he pauses for a moment, trying to decide if he wants to tell you or not. 

“Well umm… because you're my soulmate,” he shyly admits, he’d probably start blushing if vampires could and you let out a giggle, making him look at you in shock. 

“Oh, my sweet Paul. I knew… you really thought I wouldn’t know? Especially when you’ve been following me home every night like a lost puppy. I knew it the moment our eyes first met,” you pointedly tell him with a proud smile.

“Why didn’t you say anything to me then?” he asks and you pause to purse your lips. 

“Well you walked away looking rather sad and I just wanted to give you a hug, but your friends-” 

“Brothers,” he corrects you and you smile softly at him. 

“You were with your brothers,” you amend your first words with a shrug before going on. 

“I assumed you just were shocked by finding me and you’d come talk to me eventually but you never did. I assumed you just didn’t know how to approach me,” you explain to him as you show him your wrist proudly with the words he knows so well written in matching ink: Somewhere Out There. 

“No. I wanted to. Believe me, I did so badly, but my fears of what I am got in the way of it all. I’m sorry,” he explains before looking away in shame. 

“It’s okay. We all let the fear get the best of us sometimes, but I’m glad we’ve finally actually met,” you tell him as you stop in place to turn to him and reach up to touch his cheek, not really caring about the blood. 

“Even with the circumstances of how we met?” he asks you with a raised eyebrow and you let out a giggle that sounds heavenly to his ears. 

“Yes. Even with the circumstances of it all,” you tell him and he shakes his head at you in disbelief before grinning at you. 

“Yeah. Again I’m sorry. I just wanted to protect you, even from myself,” he says and he grimaces at himself after saying it. 

“Paul. It’s really okay. I’m just glad we're together now. We are, right?” You ask, scared he’ll leave you at your apartment and never come back. 

“Babe, I couldn’t leave now even if I tried,” he charmingly tells you with a grin taking over his face. 

“Good, because I wouldn’t want you to,” you grin now too, happy to be on the same page. 

That's how the night ends, with you and Paul now walking hand in hand in the moonlight. Paul can’t help but to think just how right his brothers had been, if only he’d talked to you that very first night this could have been the two of you every night for the last three months. But Paul refuses to think any further about it and can’t help but smile the whole way as he walks you to your apartment. He leaves you there knowing you’ll be safe, promising to see you tomorrow night and together you both know this is the start to an even more beautiful story for the two of you to tell in the future. 

The End...

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[alwynwitch]

Raglan James, Marius de Romanus and Daniel Molloy's memory loss

Okay, this sounds insane and I could be very wrong... but I still think it is possible that Justin Kirk plays Marius. Hear me out.

Obviously, Raglan James is a real character and I think AMC is going to use him (for later iwtv seasons and maybe for their talamasca show as well). But in season 1 Rashid was also really Armand... and Rashid is now a real character with a role in the story as well. The same could be true for Raglan James.

So, why would Marius be impersonating Raglan James?

Mainly, because he feels protective and responsible for Daniel. I think Marius played a role in Daniel's memory loss and recovery as a person after the first interview (and possible chase/love affair with Armand). Armand and Louis left him broken and confused and needed someone to help and take care of him. Enter Marius.

Biggest clue:

Roman Weiss Publishing House? Like, come on. No publishing house is called like that, unless it is connected to Marius de Romanus. Also, this is Daniel's memoir, his other books are published at a different (normal) publishing house. But the memoir that is connected to his memory loss is published by Roman Weiss.... hmmmm....

Don't forget: in the books it was Marius who helped Daniel recover after he lost his mind. Daniel stayed with Marius for years. Marius loved Daniel and loved taking care of him.

(And yes I think AMC!Armand can know at this point that Marius is alive, because I think Lestat will tell him out of spite before Armand throws him off the tower. And Marius's painting is in the Dubai Penthouse.)

I think the Talamasca really has a stake in the interview and sent an agent, Raglan James (who I suspect still works for them at this point). But Marius interfered and kidnapped Raglan James and threw him in his basement.

He wants to help Daniel with his memories. He could be annoyed at Armand and Louis that they are toying with Daniel now, after all he did to take care of Daniel. And he is invested in the bigger picture of the vampire world. He is still taking care of Those Who Must Be Kept and will be aware of the great conversion, because it impacts them (and Amel). He might not like the idea that the Talamasca knows too much about this. And he might know Raglan James is a bad person and he doesn't want him near Daniel (and Armand).

So in this new role he can help Daniel and as a double agent he can keep Raglan James and the Talamasca at bay.

(The Talamasca seems to have a more active role in the AMC Universe than in the books, see also Mayfair Witches. So vampires might also engage with them more actively.)

Are there clues that Raglan James is not who he says he is?

A few. He speaks weirdly. He articulated his name in a weird way and Daniel immediately asked: "Got a real name?" Like he doesn't believe it. It is a clue for the audience: something is going on and we need to pay attention.

And he seems to be bad at his job. Raglan James was not bad at his job, he was just reckless because of bad character. He was actually a genius, but bored and distracted easily. He got kicked out of the Talamasca, because he was using his paranormal powers and knowlegde for personal gain. He lied to the Talamasca and robbed them. David says in ToTBT: "He deceived us with elaborate fabrications and counterfeit records on a scale you wouldn't believe. He loves that sort of connivance." And: "With his gifts he should have been able to deceive us forever."

And look at his interaction with Daniel:

Raglan James says awkwardly (and too loudly): "I will stop looking at you now." And pretends to have a phone conversation. At the end, the whole restaurant is looking at them and listening.

Does that look like a genius secret agent who could have deceived the Talamasca forever? I don't think so. A good agent would have the situation under control. Something is off. Is it Marius? Pathetic, nerdy, vain and controlfreak Marius who thought he could play a secret agent and failed miserably? Maybe.

[stelly38]

“I can’t remember how much bonking I did”  —Aidan Turner

With Ross Poldark behind him, the star of Di5ney’s adaptation of Jilly Cooper’s Rivals talks ’80s excess, intimacy coaches and beef brisket.

Here I am, avidly watching the first few episodes of Rivals, the sizzling new Disney+ treatment of Dame Jilly Cooper’s raunchy blockbuster, before my interview with dreamboat-y Aidan Turner, when my 22-year-old daughter walks into the room. “What the actual?” she cries, open-mouthed in horror. “Oh my God! What are they doing?”

I chide her prudishness. “Well, if you must know, Rupert Campbell-Black and a woman he probably just met have reached a shuddering climax on Concorde,” I explain. “Your generation didn’t invent sex, you know, darling – the Mile High Club has been around for…” but it turns out that’s not what’s triggered her.

“These people are SMOKING! On. A. Plane. Who even does that?” Everybody, that’s who. Welcome to the sassy, sexy 1980s, Missy. Double-breasted suits and taffeta skirts, booze, bonking, endless ciggies and hairstyles so fugly (the mullet, for pity’s sake?) as to have recently crept back into fashion. It’s all there: rampant sexism, social climbing and conspicuous consumption, to a banging soundtrack of Eurythmics, Hall & Oates, Haircut 100 and the rest – no idea how The Birdie Song got in there though. Did people really...? Yes, we did. Now run along. From the moment the opening credits roll on Rivals, it’s fair to say we are immersed in a very different, instantly recognisable universe.

I lapped up every transgressive minute. Why, dear readers, the last time I enjoyed a pleasure quite so guilty was when Aidan Turner took off his shirt in…  “I’m not here to talk about Poldark,” says Turner very politely, with a fabulously winning white smile, when we meet. So we don’t. At least for a bit. We are here, after all, to discuss his new role in this very different literary classic – and no, ladies, he’s not been cast as the libidinous blaggard Campbell-Black. As if. County Dublin-born Turner, 41, was a shoo-in for dashing Declan O’Hara, the saturnine Irish journalist turned reluctant chat-show host who finds himself at the epicentre of a battle royale in the cut-throat world of independent television. David Tennant plays Corinium TV boss Lord Baddingham, and Alex Hassell’s Rupert Campbell-Black has ascended to the lofty heights of Tory Minister for Sport.

I could try to explain, but that’s about all the primer you need – rest assured that with this high-budget adaptation, even the most loyal of Cooper’s fans will find themselves safe in its (wandering) hands. “Rivals is about the three things that fascinate all of us: sex, power and money,” says Turner. “That trifecta is especially potent when there’s a clash of status and class. Class informs all sorts of things, including the sex, which is sometimes completely transactional on both sides. From the very top to the very bottom of the ladder, everyone’s slightly on the make.”

Speaking of the top and indeed the bottom, the eight-part series employed not one but two intimacy coaches. “They had a lot of intimacy to coach,” confirms Turner breezily. “I think they really improve sex scenes because they encourage creativity and it all looks so much more authentic. There’s a lot of bonking. I want to say I did a lot of bonking – I can’t quite remember how much.”

Declan is very much the dark-eyed, watchful outsider, his integrity as deep-rooted as his humongous moustache – “artist’s own”, remarks Turner. (He speaks in mellifluous Irish tones and uses his own accent to play Declan.) Amid the jostling for supremacy in the first few episodes, Declan’s only crime appears to be wearing mustard socks on air and having sensuous congress with his own wife (played with exquisite brittleness by Victoria Smurfit).

Such uxoriousness appears borderline scandalous in Dame Jilly’s masterfully constructed world of egos, oneupmanship and serial adultery, which signals that despite being a workaholic, Declan is clearly a good ’un – although, to be fair, I have only seen the first three episodes.

“I hadn’t read Rivals before. It seemed very British so it wasn’t really on my radar, but it’s really fun – although later on it descends into something much murkier. I just read the scripts initially and then was really struck by how faithful they were to the book,” says Turner, who is married to the American Succession actor Caitlin FitzGerald, 41. “You get a real sense of the characters in the first 15 or 20 pages and it’s a mark of excellent writing that you feel you already know these people.”

Whether or not you like them is up to you, but it’s absolutely gripping and Turner’s character is right at the heart of the story. “Rivals is a really truthful depiction of an era that in a great many ways was hugely problematic,” says Turner. “It’s not being refracted through a modern lens and some of it is quite shocking, particularly the way women are treated. There’s also endless back-stabbing; Declan is detached, the one who sees what’s going on, and because he’s not from this class-bound world [he] struggles to understand the playbook – but he’s married to a woman who does and that causes tension.”

To research the role of a broadcasting homme sérieux, Turner trawled YouTube to watch hours of Firing Line, the US current-affairs talk show presented by conservative pundit William F Buckley Jr for 33 years. From 1966 to 1999, he verbally sparred with leading figures of the age.

“I felt it was important to look to older shows, the way they were presented and the communication style,” says Turner. “The interviewee would be given time and space to answer questions in full. These days it’s very different; the nearest we have to that now would be podcasts.”

“Once filming started, to be honest I was channelling my dad the whole time. He’s an electrician, not a journalist, but Declan is very like him – the way he carries himself, the tone of his voice, his passion. He feels very Irish and so does Declan.”

For Alexander Lamb, an executive producer on Rivals, finding the right fit for the pivotal character of Declan was crucial. “The very first person we thought about – the very first person we cast – for Rivals was Aidan. He was the lynchpin because he just felt so right; he’s got depth but also such charm and that was exactly what we wanted. A lot of the cast was built around him.” That cast also includes EastEnder Danny Dyer, Katherine Parkinson, best known for The IT Crowd, Emily Atack of Inbetweeners fame, and Claire Rushbrook, who was in the first series of Sherwood. When it came to Turner, Lamb had been impressed by his previous standout roles as a vampire in the supernatural series Being Human and a clinical psychologist in police procedural The Suspect.

“Aidan hadn’t played sexy-dad-with-teenagers or an intellectual journalist before, so that gave the whole thing a freshness. I think there’s a lot to be gained from getting actors out of their comfort zones,” observes Lamb. “I’ve never really worked with an actor before who was so conscious of his performance. He would come back behind the camera to see if he could improve on what he’d done.” Dame Jilly, adds Lamb, needed no persuasion in casting Turner. “It did not escape her just how good-looking Mr. Aidan Turner was. Let’s just say she became quite the fan.” Turner responds in kind, with unalloyed admiration. “Jilly is so sharp, perceptive and really funny – she’s very kind, but as she was seeing the daily and the weekly rushes I am quite certain that if she hadn’t liked what any of us were doing, she would have told us very swiftly.”

Later, he quietly relates a telling conversation with Cooper at a garden party held at her Gloucestershire gaff (to call it a pile would be too excessive, to call it a house too modest), one summer evening last year, after filming. “I remember a surreal moment when she took me by the arm and led me around the garden, pointing out the place where she would write and how she would look over the valley,” he says. “And then she pointed out the houses where her nearest neighbours and friends lived and said, ‘This is Declan O’Hara’s house, and that one’s Tony’s house,’ and explained how she would visualise the world of Rivals. It was a very special moment.” How magical, I say. He nods very slowly, the corners of his mouth twitching, eyes crinkling at the preciousness of the memory. He’s so unabashedly soulful, I almost have to look away. And so, to business: is Turner really as handsome as they say? Hmm. Maybe that’s what strikes you first but, in truth, it’s the least interesting thing about him.

Born in Clondalkin, a town outside Dublin, before the family moved to a suburb of the city, Turner admits he was never academically inclined. With a low boredom threshold, he struggled to concentrate at school, but when his accountant mother took him along to dance classes, he excelled; he went on to compete in ballroom dancing at national level, but lost momentum.

There was a stint working as an electrician with his father, but it was a job at the local cinema that sparked his interest in acting, entering the Gaiety School of Acting, Ireland’s national theatre school, where he graduated in 2004. After appearing in several theatre productions, including Seán O’Casey’s Easter Rising play The Plough and the Stars, he got his first major television gig in 2008 in the Irish hospital drama The Clinic.

“I was a lowly receptionist and Victoria Smurfit, who is my wife in Rivals, was a consultant,” he smiles. “Let’s just say we didn’t have a huge number of scenes together back then, so it’s great to catch up now.” Soon the BBC beckoned and he was cast as Dante Gabriel Rossetti in the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood drama Desperate Romantics. The six-parter failed to make a mark, but led to a critically acclaimed role in the comedy-drama Being Human, where he caught the eye of director Sir Peter Jackson, who cast Turner as the dwarf Kili in The Hobbit trilogy between 2012 and 2014.

Various other parts followed, culminating in his award-winning portrayal of Captain Ross Poldark in the 2015 revival of the BBC classic, which ran for five series and made him both a household name and a pin-up among ladies (and interviewers) d’un certain age.

After he was shown scything a field shirtless, a sheen of sweat on his ripped – sorry – torso, the Sunday-night concupiscence became so pronounced that media commentators called out the reverse sexism and denounced the reductive way in which Turner was being treated as a piece of prime meat. A decade on, he still seems mildly baffled, but not ungrateful, for the attention, if loath to dwell on it. “There are worse things to be known for than having a nice physique,” he says, philosophically. “But that was a long time ago and I’ve done a lot of fully clothed work since.” Hilariously, in Rivals, Declan finds himself sharing a schedule with a series called Four Men Went To Mow, featuring a quartet of topless hunks – with scythes. Turner almost leaps off the sofa when I bring it up. “I know! I was reading the script and when I saw the Four Men Went To Mow reference, I assumed someone was deliberately winding me up. Then I realised it was actually in the original book, so I took a deep breath and let it go.”

I can confirm he’s fully dressed for our interview, wearing a mustard top by British menswear brand Oliver Spencer, which he dryly describes as ‘drab chic’, Levi’s 501s, and a pair of trainers. He points out they are classic white Reeboks with a natural gum sole. I admit I didn’t know that was A Thing. “To be honest, neither did I,” he shrugs in good-natured agreement. “They were a present from a mate of mine – he’s a musician so far cooler than me, obviously – and he was very emphatic that the soles were a big deal.”

On his wrist is a 1969 Omega Seamaster. “It cost less than £2,000, it was an anniversary gift and the only watch I own,’”he offers, pre-emptively. “Oh, and I’m not sponsored by Omega, none of that.” Would he like to be? I ask mischievously. “Ah well, I’d certainly take the phone call. You always like to have options.” This is all the more interesting because later I ask if there’s any truth in tabloid rumours that he has variously been earmarked as the new Bergerac and the next James Bond. He denies both charges. “But you’d take the calls presumably?” I suggest. A pregnant pause follows. “You know, I don’t think I would. I have to say I think I’d pass on those.” Bergerac I can understand – but intimations of 007 are, like talk of knighthoods, not to be trifled with, much less dismissed out of hand, however cat’s-chance unlikely.

Turner just pulls a slightly apologetic face (possibly for the benefit of his aghast agent reading this). But really it should come as no surprise; Turner has built up a reputation as a protean performer, moving seamlessly between television, film and the stage in a variety of markedly different roles. Last year he appeared opposite Jenna Coleman in a minimalist two-hander, the West End revival of Sam Steiner’s 2015 fringe hit Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons Lemons, about love and language. Director Josie Rourke says she cast Turner not just because he is ‘brilliant’, but because he has an ability to connect with his character and with the audience.

“Aidan is a very technical and focused actor who really works hard to prepare – in that respect he’s not dissimilar to David Tennant. That might make him sound dour or serious, but he’s very personable and funny,” says Rourke, a former artistic director of the Donmar Warehouse in London. “He’s acutely aware, in a lovely way, of every single person in the room. There’s something fundamentally unselfish about his performances.”

Off stage, Turner leads a quiet life with his family in an 18th-century house in east London, which he famously furnished with the table and chairs from the Poldark set in Cornwall. He looks amused when I wonder aloud if he hangs out – virtually or actually – with the slew of young Irish actors, like Paul Mescal and Barry Keoghan, who have made a name for themselves. “It sounds boring but I work, and then when a project is finished I start reading scripts again,” he says. “I’m not on social media, I don’t get wrapped [up] comparing myself to anyone else. Frankly, it’s hard enough keeping track of my own career. Since the birth of our son, my wife and I have agreed that only one of us will take a job away from home at any given time; we’ve not [had] a clash yet but we’ll have to see what happens when the time comes.”

They did, however, both have plays on in the West End at one point last year; he was appearing in Lemons while she was in The Crucible. “It worked out really well, we headed out in different directions during the day, catching up with friends and getting stuff done, far too busy to see each other,” he recalls. “Each of us did our show then we would meet up afterwards and share a cab home. It was really fun, but that sort of synchronicity is quite rare.” Like a lot of actors, Turner is guarded when it comes to discussing his personal life. Although frenzied interest from the paparazzi has calmed down post-Poldark, every so often pictures do appear in the tabloids – and Rivals will no doubt increase his bankability. It is something he accepts with equanimity.

“If I do get snapped, I don’t make a fuss or get angry, but I try to stay out of the way.” I remind him of a very striking photo of him putting the rubbish out in a frankly extraordinary receptacle. “Ah yes, maybe I should get rid of the fluorescent pink wheelie bin, a bit of an own goal,” he sighs.

I bet he doesn’t. Far too much of a compromise. I do manage to winkle a few details out of him by playing my fellow Irishwoman card and discover that he’s a ‘serious’ pool player – just this week he settled down in front of a recording of Steve Davis and his teammates taking the 2002 Mosconi Cup in Bethnal Green. He plays golf, enjoys music, and is an avowed Nick Cave fan.

“I’d have to say my favourite downtime is having friends round for good banter and food in the garden, weather allowing. I’m trying to perfect the manly art of beef brisket in my [Big] Green Egg barbecue. I think one of the reasons Rivals was such a happy show to work on was because so many of the scenes were us all together at parties. Then at the end of the day we’d kick back and half of us would still be in character.”

And what characters they are, all dressed up in their ’80s finery, jockeying for position, angling for seduction as Tears for Fears belt out ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World.’ Gen Z won’t understand, much less approve (lock up your 22-year-olds), but as a snapshot of a bygone age, Rivals promises to be TV gold, and at its glittering epicentre, Declan O’Hara, legendary brooding broadcaster with the biggest ’tache in town.

All episodes of Rivals are available on Di5ney+ from 18 October

Interview by Judith Woods from The Telegraph; Photos by John Balsom.

[dailycass-cain]

As promised many months ago to end this day, here's a 🧵of the insanity Cassandra Cain's "human" body can do due to what David Cain put her through (besides the two obvious ones of body language and various forms of killing he trained her in).

The best issue that showcases that is of course Batgirl Vol. 1 #14 where various government agencies look at the footage Cass got caught filmed in.

The first few pages are literally showcasing how inhuman, but still bordering on human she is due to what David Cain put her through.

This is always fully covered throughout Batgirl Volume 1 and is usually forgotten when writers and editors tend to have their job. Not saying any names or storylines of any RECENT kind where a WAR broke out in GOTHAM.

is still salty YES

We've seen Cass's speed all the time throughout the Puckett run. To just showcase the prior issue's bullet dodging or her issue of Tim (#18) be child's play (along with her taking several shots up close and dodging each one from a certain corrupt government bastard).

Nah the best example of Cass's true "speed" is in #34 facing the mob boss Ving and his gang.

Yeah, you're seeing that right she is faster than a freaking bullet. Surprising how SOME seem to forget that in other comics. 🙄

Something even Batgirls remembered (#15) when Cass was playing shogun dodge with Cluemaster who was trying to shoot her with a shotgun.

But what of Cassandra's strength? Just how strong is she really?

#19 where Cass is faced with the obstacle of three-inch quartz preventing her from escaping a gas chamber. So let's examine just how thick three-inch quartz is.

Well, let's google just that.

A SEVEN on the hardness scale. Further research says that it can only crack due to "extreme impacts" which wouldn't ya know:

As for her body itself, Batgirl/Ghost: The Ressurection Machine #3 suggests this about Cass being immune to A LOT of poisons:

Something Batgirl Vol. 1 "sort of" delves in #50 when both she and Bruce are doused with a new batch of super drug but it turns out they were both immune to it due to them being built differently than normal humans.

This is all the more surprising because a few issues prior to (#46) Cass is doused with a version of it, but you could say given what she "sees" Cass is under A LOT of stress (the building tension with Bruce, Babs breaking up with Dick, Superboy/Black Wind stuff). Plus she does "sort of" snap out of it to beat the bad guys in that issue.

Just like in #51 she avoids the pheromones to Poison Ivy even though she is showing signs of falling under the hormones but snaps out of it due to willpower (something Bruce was almost succumbing to before he fully snapped out of it too).

It really feels like "this anti-poison" ability Cass had was all but forgotten once the series ended. Of course, naturally with a certain "infamous" story ONE YEAR LATER, but also Batman & Robin Eternal as she is affected by Fear Toxin (among other stuff too).

#9 & #59 showcase that David Cain shot Cass regularly so much that she can not even feel it. This could explain also HOW she was eventually able to dodge bullets and become so fast.

#22 also showcases this as well so this is not something simply just randomly put in. This was something the writers wanted to show the sickening lengths David Cain put Cass through.

Again, #14 brought up Cass's metabolism and how off the charts it was. I think something we just overlooked is that in #26 Cass slept for 20 hours a day for four days (or perhaps longer) straight until she fully recovered from fighting Lady Shiva.

That's not even going under the amount of food she consumes. This little detail was first showcased in #39 when Cass ate like she was freaking Goku.

This little bit of detail was brought back in #66 when she ordered THREE burgers (I'm assuming with everything on it) with three sides of fries and a BIG milk.

Amusingly, this detail was recently brought back in Nightwing #106 & #108 where she FEASTED on who knows how many pancakes.

Lastly, I feel this bit is worth mentioning as well from #47 with Doctor Lewis Friedman who started the theory on body language that David Cain made a frightening reality with Cass (shame he was never brought up again after this issue).

All this isn't even counting on the extremely LONG hours of shower time Cass picked up in the Gabrych run that even Willingham's Robin (which went on during this) teased (something again Batgirls kept up on).

So there you have it. The utter anomaly that is the body of one Cassandra Cain.

[loosesodamarble]

Hello, I was the one who requested a few Nacht head canons that you wrote recently. I loved them so I'm here with one more request. It's a very long one so you can ignore it or take as much time as you want. So here it goes: How would the magic knight squads react if they find out one of their members has a crush on Nacht? How would things play out after that.

Oh my! Welcome back then, Anon! Glad you enjoyed them, despite their timing.

….......

Black Bulls

Everyone would have to pause and go "our Nacht Faust?"

And you'd have to confirm "yes, our Nacht Faust. As if there are any others."

Half the squad would bust out in hysterics.

The other half would be dead silent from shock.

Remember, Nacht's first impression with several members was... poor. To say the least. So hearing that you liked Nacht was an experience for everyone.

Asta and Yami are the first ones to cheer you and Nacht on though.

Followed by the likes of Noelle, Henry ("Henry, don't change the floor plans so their room are together. HENRY WAIT!"), Grey, and Gordon.

Vanessa and Finral would be down to set you and Nacht up on a date. And they'd throw in a makeover free of charge!

Gimodelo and the other devils are very excited to see Nacht get all romantic. They just want their master to be happy!

Don't be surprised if the Bulls start calling you to dinner later than the rest of them and doing the same to Nacht so you both are force to sit with each other at the only empty seats.

And there would be other schemes to keep you two in close proximity.

Really, the whole squad just wants to support their squadmates and friends in the very normal endeavor of starting a relationship.

Golden Dawn

William does his best to show a polite amount of interest in your crush. After Nacht's key role in the Spade Invasion, William feels he owes a debt to that man.

And William thinks that he can repay the debt by setting Nacht up with you since you've taken an interest in him.

At best, William offers you opportunities to visit in the Black Bulls' base (delivering paperwork or parcels) if you want to see Nacht in person.

David is the nosiest of the squad and will ask all the details. How you first met Nacht, when you started liking him, do you plan on confessing, etc.

You might start hanging around Yuno if you weren't already close with him. You know, to ask about Nacht's appearances at any vice captain meetings.

Blue Rose Knights

SHIP SHIP SHIP SHIP SHIP!

The ladies of the Blue Rose Knights are going to have your back if they find out about your crush on Nacht.

First Charlotte is blushing over Yami and now you for Nacht? It's like the squads are destined for something greater together!

The other squad members will insist that you and Charlotte have a double date with Nacht and Yami. Let your loves bloom together~!

It actually works out relatively well.

You keep Charlotte from panicking around Yami and in turn, Charlotte gives you plenty of openings to initiate conversation with Nacht.

And don't worry. Charlotte will shut down any egregious meddling from the squad.

Like say, locking you and Nacht in a closet without your grimoires so Nacht can't just shadow out of there.

Puli, the brains behind Operation Get the Devil (Host)'s Heart, is going to contrive of a lot of ridiculous scenarios though... Good luck.

Crimson Lion Kings

Nacht puts Fuegoleon on edge. His practices and demeanor aren't ideal in Fuegoleon's eyes but as a loyal Knight of Clover, Nacht is at least decent.

Fuegoleon warmly encourages you in pursuing Nacht. But he also warns you not to get too distracted.

"I don't have any romantic experiences to speak of but adding to your personal life is sure to give you more to fight for as a Knight."

It's just a nice way of saying that getting a boyfriend might improve your morale for work.../lh

Leopold doesn't know Nacht at all but he'd very willing to be your wingman by dragging you along to the Bulls' base when he goes to visit Asta.

I'm sure if you asked, Randall might bring your name up at a vice captain meeting and gauge Nacht's response.

Don't let Mereoleona catch you waffling on your feeling for too long. If she thinks you're being coward about your crush, then her hand might be forced and you'll find yourself doing volcano training alongside Nacht.

I say not in the sense that Mereo has an interest in romance, let alone others' romances, but I honestly think she'd get pissed off to know that a member of the Crimson Lions is being a coward about anything.

Other members of the squad would generally support you and urge you to do your best with getting Nacht's attention.

Silver Eagles

To me, the Silver Eagles are a squad wherein the members largely keep to themselves. It's mostly polite conversation with a bit of gossip from the noble circles.

Most of the Silver Eagles wouldn't pay much attention to your love life, if I'm to be honest.

However, they are an elitist squad (or at least that's their vibe) and with devil possession being Forbidden Magic, some might raise a brow at your crush.

"Even if he's a vice captain, that Faust man can't be anything but trouble. Especially if he's a Bull."

If Nozel hears of your crush, he'll have mixed opinions.

His opinion of devils and devil hosts is abysmally low due to his own history but Nacht proved himself a worthy ally and so not a horrible pick.

Nozel's bad at showing it but he does wish the best for you in your romance with Nacht. You are a member of his squad after all.

Like Fuegoleon, Nozel warns you not to let your infatuation get in the way of work.

Aqua Deers

The Aqua Deer has the vibe of being some free-spirited folks. Not so much as the Green Mantises or Black Bulls, but with a captain as young as Rill, the squad has learned to be able to accept anything.

"Following the captain's example and falling hard for someone, are we?" some will joke with you.

If you can catch Rill during his free time, he two of you could have a heart-to-heart and help each other sort through your crushes.

"Love can happen so suddenly, can't it?" Rill remarks. "Like bolt of lightning or like throwing a palette at an easel! It's bold and messy and scary too! But that's what makes it so amazing, huh?"

I imagine Fragil being a bit of a romantic so she might have some advice based on a romance novel or dating advice column if you went to her. But that's just what I think of her.

Coral Peacocks

Dorothy will be poking her nose into the business of your crush. No ifs, ands, or buts about it!

She's a bit of a gossip. So uh... prepare for Yami finding out via her loose lips.

In her sparse free time, Dorothy will encourage you to practice confessing to Nacht in her Glamour World.

Only to turn on you and tease you with her imaginary versions of Nacht.

This gif of Shouto form BNHA:

Dorothy creates a Nacht version of that to tease you. Good luck.

Kirsch will give you advice on how to be "beautiful" for Nacht to fall in love with you.

Green Praying Mantis

The folks in the Green Mantis squad are largely commoners. They're casual and a little wild.

So I'd imagine some of the more interested parties placing bets on how long it'll take for you to confess or maybe even betting on how you confess.

Some of the members might mention that Jack might've known Nacht in the past but going to him earns you the threat of being sliced apart (Jack being twin blind will be a sore spot for him from now on. No, this isn't relevant but I'm saying my piece.)

I dunno why but the Green Mantis squad gives off the vibes of inviting you and Nacht to a bar to let the alcohol break down your walls.

(Although if you're not a drinker of alcohol, that plan is a bust.)

The squad members would probably go out of their way to mess with the Black Bulls to get Nacht's attention for you.

Which... you might be thankful for the support or you might be horrified by their "plan."

They mean well, really.

Purple Orcas

All I can really say for the Purple Orcas is that Kaiser and her wife would be more than happy to give their insight on starting and maintaining a loving partnership.

[generalidiocy]

Escape From The Vault thoughts

I know I'm a couple days late, but I'm gonna try and recreate my thought processes watching the dnd stream cause I need to yell into the void (please yell back I love conversations)

basslines basslines basslines! I knew Luke played bass but didn't know he was that good, wow

yay jockey boy! oh no... oh no jockey boy!

wap tentacle... great

"i used to have doors in my house... back when I lived" - there's so many instances of Fullset being bizarre, but this one tickles me

"how do you know my name" "it says SNAKEHIPS in giant letters across the door" - classic joke, perfect, no notes

Juliet Caesar cameo! I think...

she does magic for a fee, old lady margery

sam just playing all his classics this time around - @.meneatyoghurt made the same point but she's right

the unrelenting aubergine is the best name for a warhammer

royal andre - let's not call him prince andre though, that name just sounds wrong to me now /lh

"i bought these in a shop :-] :-] :-]"

"you've always wanted to be capteeeuuuurrreeedd"

tom knows what a skylight is, sam does not

why are these title cards so eerie

round of applause to Teo and Sam for the music and visuals, fucking brilliant

"things are heating up" "press A"

Love/Brother Face Eldritch Blast

"Tell me how you feel about the Jews!!!"

Andre and Andrew are the sweetest, if we see Andre again I hope he has his Andrew with him, too

"I used to be a trapeze artist"

that description of a dead hare made me so sad...

also leftenmost mc and david being dead in this hurt me a lot more than it should have

fullset beating the other two to the second body lol

"entering the astral plane" - in case you didn't get the reference

"are you having a non-canon adventure?"

sam knew what he was doing ending the first half with "Where's Jeremiah"

also why didn't bubba die from the fall? i don't want him to be dead, but he seemed absolutely fine considering he just fell 60 feet

andre beetroot being friends with bubba was a nice combo

"ok that's a different thing" i really hoped they wouldn't make "pressing A" an innuendo... but ofc they did /aff

yes, homosexuality is the link between these characters (twas funny, but came out of left field for me lol)

again, what's with the creepy title cards?

andre and bubba again!

"are you saying that you weigh less than 10 pounds?"

andre can't fight but we love him

snakehips being badass as usual

"RUN" followed up with a highly non-threatening "flee :-)" took me out

"the gm should've given these characters higher armour classes"

"tell me how you feel about the Jews!" the sequel

Troll Son!

"a dock, as in, boat boat" - perfect definition, well done margery

"that's *strictly* non- canon"

goddammit I got really excited to see Persephone then we ran out of time

sweethearts sweethearts sweethearts!

this was such a great tribute to the iconic characters we know and love, and we all had fun watching it I'm sure. Sam was an amazing DM, and AJ, Tom, Luke and Teo all did phenomenally as usual

anyway, ramblings over, just needed to scream about this for a bit

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Tonight, Forever, Then, Here And Now - Nikolai Lantsov

Summary: Nikolai Lantsov x Reader circa King Of Scars, at a party, pretending their feelings for each other can be ignored.

Content Warnings: Not Beta/Proof Read.

So like, I stopped writing fanfic content and imagines and stuff a few years back because Wattpad wasn't serving me well and Quotev had drained my morale. The last two years I've been posting fanfic on A03, and that's really just been for me and bestie, and this account was really just so I could post Tolya content for bestie. But I'm like very glad you are enjoying my nonsense the same was she does, and I shall continue to take requests and post my random bs because who knew there was such an audience for it xx

Genya smiles looking you up and down. "You clean up nice," Genya says. You give her a look, and she pretends not to see it. "Please try to look like you're happy to be here."

"I did not ask to be here," you remind her. She gently leans closer, bringing her drink to her lips, to try and hide her whispers.

"We both know there is at least one reason you would like to be here," she whispers.

"Don't," you warn her.

"I haven't seen him yet," she continues, "but from what Zoya said-,"

"I do not want to know what Zoya said about Nikolai," you say a little too quickly. Genya smiles, that knowing smile. "I will tell David that you don't like the new hinges, that you preferred the other ones despite the fact they were less functional, because they were prettier."

"No, you wouldn't," Genya says, but she thinks about it. "Oh you might."

"Yes," you tell her, "I might."

You love Genya, she keeps you sane during such fancy and often long functions, but today she wants to talk about Nikolai, and you cannot talk about Nikolai. You're not sure your heart can take it. You've never been able to hide your feelings for him, not from her at least. But today your feelings feel like they could boil over.

"I hoped you'd look my way eventually," comes a voice you don't know. You realise that in your absentmindedness you must have been looking at someone, and rather than admit you were somewhere else entirely, thinking about Nikolai, you try to conjure a smile.

"Have we met?" You ask, you hate small talk, especially with men like these, the type that will ask you to dance. You really do not feel like dancing.

"May I have this dance," you go to say no, but you realise when the confusion crosses the strangers face it isn't he who asked. You play the question back in your mind, and you know the voice, you'd know it anywhere, you'd know it in a crowded room, you'd know it tired, to quiet or pretending to be someone else, and you know it now.

"Your Highness," you give a curtsey, it's a little joke that no one but Nikolai and Genya seem to understand. Nikolai tries to make his smile look more humble, but the smugness lingers. He offers you his hand.

"Shall we?" he asks. You stare at him, like waiting would make it make more sense. He takes your hand with a smile and throws the stranger a gentle shrug. "I have a tendency to make them short of words." You follow him as he pulls you along, trying to ignore the smirk Genya has. "Dance with me."

"We shouldn't be seen together," is the first sentence you manage to put together. Nikolai just gives an indignant sigh.

"Just, take my arm, and don't look so stiff," he says, pulling you in. You let him, having him hold you close takes away some of the attention from the fact you do not wish to be dancing, for understandable reasons. You don't even want to be here at all.

"I should warn you that I am a terrible dancer," you tell him. He chuckles and you can feel his breath against your skin, and you try not to let your thoughts linger on it.

"It's okay love, no one's going to be watching you," he teases.

"By all means, don't waste your pleasantries on me," you respond. He places a hand on your hip and you try not to jolt from the shock. You'd intended on avoiding him, you'd hoped you could spend the whole night, not having to share a word with him, and now his hands are against you and it's like he has filled up all your senses.

"My eyes are up here," Nikolai whispers, bringing himself close to your ear. You step on his foot and he bites his tongue pretending to not notice. "Ouch," he whispers. "Put your hand on my-,"

"No," you say quickly.

"Can you at least pretend you like spending time with me?" he asks.

"I like spending time with you," you say, looking up to meet his gaze. "But I hate parties, I hate... all of this and people are looking at me, I don't want them looking at me, and we know why they're looking at me, because I am dancing with you. Something else I did not intend to do."

You see one of the court members leaning into whisper to someone you don't recognise and you fight off the groan. Nikolai follows your gaze. "Ah, the rumour mill's already started," he observes.

"Sound less pleased with yourself," you tell him. His grin turns mischievous, and he looks more like the Nikolai you know, underneath all the royal attire and façade. You wish you could smile and just be happy in his company, you wish it was that easy. But it's anything from that easy, and as each day passes it gets more and more complicated. "I've heard the rumours about you."

"Who hasn't?" he asks, tone still filled with good-humour, in spite of how quickly he could have misinterpreted that comment.

"I mean... the other rumours, about you and Zoya," you're teasing him and he knows it.

"Yes, that's why she is so set on finding me a wife," he lets slip the tiredness in his tone.

"Oh, that's why you're insisting on dancing with me," you say, letting him pull you closer. "Not because you couldn't find a date in time."

"You think I couldn't find a date in time?" he asks, mock offended.

"No, I know you could have dates lined up out the door," you say, "so it made me wonder, why you wanted to bother me."

"I'm bothering you, am I?"

"Shut up Nikolai," you look away trying to stop yourself from blushing. He always acts like this, and you always react like this, you should know better.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here," he admits. It sounds like a confession, but you've got not a single clue what he is confessing to.

"You weren't supposed to find me here," you admit, equally honest, equally confessional, but at least you know what you're confessing to, even if he doesn't. You feel your throat drying up as Nikolai pulls you in even closer. "Strong grip," you whisper. He laughs and you can feel the breath moving in his chest as he does. "Anyway, how is the whole wife thing going?"

"Oh please, I had hoped I would be free of that, at least with you," he says.

"Why would I free you from conversing clearly the most important decision you're yet to make as royalty and ruler?" you tease.

"I knew you'd turn on me one day," he whispers, "but this betrayal, this stings."

"Well, Your Majesty, I am just concerned for the royal line," you say, dipping your head in a subtle bow.

"Mind if I cut in?" Zoya asks, approaching the two of you.

"Yes," Nikolai groans but keeps a smile on his face.

"A word," Zoya says, eyeing you.

"When I have a moment?" you ask.

"After your dance?" Nikolai inquires.

"I am not cutting in for you," Zoya tells Nikolai directly, "and no," she looks to you, "not when you have a moment, now."

Zoya pulls you aside. "Now I don't know what I've done to incur the wrath of General Nazyalensky, but I assume I am about to find out," You say, not liking quite how hard the grip on your arm is.

"He needs to find a wife," Zoya states flatly.

"I know," you reply.

"He will not find a wife, with you around taking up his time," Zoya points out. If Zoya were someone else, you'd think this was coming from a place of jealousy, possessiveness, or her own interest in Nikolai. But anyone who knows Zoya enough, knows her one true loyalty, the thing she loves above all else, is Ravka. That is where her intentions lie. She wants what is best for her country, it isn't personal and you know it.

"He sought me out," you tell Zoya.

"And he will do that," she tells you, "over and over, and it gets him no where, he will chase you and it will mean nothing except act as a distraction from what he must do."

"Please, Sobachka or not, Nikolai isn't some... love sick puppy, he is a romantic, and these proposed arrangements do not interest him, but even if there was a deeper reason for that, it would not be me," you state.

Zoya's laugh is tired, and in its own way, cruel. "You exhaust me," Zoya admits. Zoya was all kinds of beautiful, and you know her to be beautiful even in her cruelty, in her viciousness. Zoya was so beautiful in her anger, even in her war, that even as the Storm Witch her beauty is what people remember most about her. You assumed she looked right through you, but she was staring at you now, right at you. And that was the most terrifying. "I suggest, you put aside your naivety and take a walk. Let me do what is necessary, what is best."

"For Ravka?" You ask, tone bleak.

"And for Nikolai," she states, "your own feelings aside, that is what you want, isn't it?"

"You know nothing of my feelings Zoya," you say, more venomous than you'd originally planned.

"I think it is you that knows nothing of your feelings," Zoya says, "now you need some air, don't you?"

"I need some air?" you ask. Zoya looks to the archway leading out of the festivities and into the gardens.

"You need some air," Zoya says again, "or do I need to physically remind you."

Zoya would not use her small science here, not like this, but the threat was filled with a level of sincerity. "I need some air," you reply and take your leave. 'What I really need is a drink,' you think to yourself as you make it past most of the crowd.

"Quick, while no one is looking," comes Nikolai's voice as he pulls you into the shadows.

"What... are you doing?" you ask, biting back any sounds of shock.

"You help me, I help you, isn't this how this goes?" he is being himself again, that Nikolai you know so well, all mischief and planning. You knew Nikolai could escape almost any situation if he wanted to, and if he put his mind to it. Clever as a fox. Sly like one too, you'd often thought.

"I need some air," you say, trying your best to oblige Zoya and her better intentions.

"Mind joining me for a walk in the gardens?" Nikolai asks.

"Would I mind you joining me," you correct him. He smirks.

"You wouldn't mind," he places an arm around you, resting a hand on the lower of your back, "I am such a delight to be around."

He is uncharacteristically quiet as you walk down the path and around the garden. "I am sorry for Zoya," he says finally.

"It's futile to apologise over her," you say, "no one could control her if they tried."

"Perhaps not, but... I do not like the way she talks to you," he says.

"She talks to everyone that way."

"But she shouldn't talk to you like that," he says. You want to ask about why you deserve special treatment, about why he is seeking you out knowing there are things he needs to be doing. But something else catches your thoughts before you can ask either of those questions.

"Were you eavesdropping?" you ask.

"Can royalty really eavesdrop?" he asks, trying to pull that charm he has to cover his tracks.

"Nikolai," you say, sighing.

"Call me Kolya," he says, "like you used to."

You think your heart might just stop in your chest. "I... there is a lot of things I used to say, that it's best if I don't say anymore," you manage, looking up at the sky instead of at him. It's cloudy and dark, the stars barely managing to shine through all the fog.

"Why not?" he asks, genuine, needing to know.

"Because things can't be how they were Nikolai, not anymore, not now," you say, "and you know that better than I do."

"I don't believe that," he says, leaning on the wall. You look at his waistcoat, wondering how it would look if he were to return to the party with the dirt of the garden on his good clothes.

"You need to," you say, stepping to stand beside him, resting your arms on the wall, hands just out of subtle reach of his. He would have to reach for you, intentionally, knowingly, noticeably to take your hand in his. Part of you wants him to, part of you knows he really shouldn't.

"You're really trying to sound convincing aren't you?" he asks.

"I am allowed my fantasies, you cannot afford them," you admit. He smiles, but you can feel the sadness thinly veiled by the smugness.

"So you have fantasies about me?" He cocks his head to give you a look.

"You shouldn't keep them waiting," you say, not giving in to him, as much as you want to.

"I'm royalty, I never keep anyone waiting, they're just too eager," he says. He moves his hand over, just a small amount, considering it as he edges across the stone of the wall. You remind yourself not to hold your breath.

"Nikolai..." you whisper. "You can't do this." You want to tell him that it is not fair, to have loved him all this time, and always known he could never be yours. With him this close the idea that he could, even for a moment is filling your brain with desires and thoughts you've tried hard to bury.

"But what if we did anyway," he asks. "Tell me like I am not what I am, but just who I am, forget the titles and the obligations. If it was not about the rules and Zoya and the parade of princesses and diplomats that I am expected to smile at and charm. If it was just you and I, tell me like it was that."

"Why?" you ask. "What is the point?"

"So I know," he says, "I need to know if I am truly going mad, or if maybe, my dashing charms have won over even you."

"My feelings for you have nothing to do with your charms Nikolai," you smile to yourself, "I fell for you long before you became so boyishly handsome."

"And my heart belonged to you long before I ever thought I could be king," he admits.

"But you did get handsome, and you are King," you say.

"What if," he takes your hand now and the warmth of his hand engulfing yours makes your breath hitch, "we just didn't care about it. What if I told Zoya that she needn't worry with her matchmaking because there is no one I would be willing to rule with that isn't you?"

"I'd say you're a fool, and that only Kings in bed time stories marry for love," you say.

"And I would remind you once said every prince in every fairy tale made you think of me."

"Saints I really used to say things didn't I?"

"I always loved that about you."

"You still say things."

"Say you'll have me," he says, "if you will have me, I will sort the rest."

"And have to dance with you in front of people, I don't think I could do that, you misstep," you tease.

"You stepped on my foot," he chuckles. You look at him, and those eyes are staring right back at you, into you, like he could see exactly who you are at a glance, like he has always known. Like every breath, ever step, has always been leading here, to this moment. "You're leaving me without an answer."

"Nikolai," you whisper, "you're not supposed to make this choice."

"But I want to make it anyway," he says, "I am King, no one will argue with me."

"Zoya will," you say as his hand brushes your cheek.

"Let her try," he says. "So... is that a yes? All I ask is that you say yes if you want to, not because you should or shouldn't but because you want to, and you speak to me as you always have, and call me like you once did."

"Kolya," you whisper, and the softness in your voice is answer enough, but you tell him anyway, "yes."

[janus-cadet]

Spice up your life!!

Have the Toymaker, as the Knight of Cups, and happy 60th anniversary ! :D

(It might be my fav tarot card so far, just love the vibe)

Explanations under the cut! In broken english, but I don't think I can do worse that the figure of that card.

As all the knights so far, the Toymaker does not get to ride an actual horse- but hey! Who does not want a hobby Horsen to go clippety-clop down the Straße, ja?

The Knight of Cups, upright, is a card deeply linked with creative forces. While the Page of Cups is inspired by an imaginative idea, the Knight is motivated by action : you have dreamed about what you want to create, and you are making this dream into reality. Or perhaps reality is really just a dream to you; perhaps all dreams are real and reality is fake. It's all the same: you, a creative mind, have the ability to act, and make dreams... true. You follow your imagination, as wild as it can be, and are always happy to be exploring new passions and ideas- even discover a whole new universe, who knows! The Knight of Cups is the alliance of true imagination, and action. You, as the consultant, you who do not possess power beyond the realm of reality, have to see it as a reminder to act, or your dreams will remain just that- dreams, and not reality.

Reversed, the card tells you that maybe, just maybe, you're spending so much time dreaming, playing with your imagination, that you are starting to loose sight of what is real and possible (and, in a certain elemental, unstoppable force's case, any regards to the rules beyond those of the games. Was ist right und wrong, again?). The Knight encourages you to ground your ideas into reality, which might be helped if a certain someone decide to cast salt at the edge of the universe. The card can also indicate that you are sulky, moody, and are perhaps acting a bit like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Perhaps you don't like to loose. Well, that's alright, then! But you are allowing your emotions to get the better of you, when you are not getting your way.

Overall, you can be quite disconnected from reality. If you want to live the better version of yourself, remember that you need to keep your dreams in mind as much as you need to keep track of what's going on around in the world. You don't need to be so small, mate.

(and ffs please when David Tennant is asking you to go off to the stars with him you say yes, damnit)

And that's for today!! This card was an absolute delight to do. And, I mean, so was those three episodes, and so was the Toymaker. That dude has been dancing in my mind for almost a week, now, non stop. So dang excited for 15th run, he's already an absolute icon.

Also! With this card, I reach the sixth Doctor-Who-themed one. First one who is not the Doctor or my precious little 🦷 ! More to go. Many, many more to go. Bill Potts (not Stooky Bill, but Lady Bill) should be next...

[rebelliousstories]

The Secret to a Good Relationship

Relationship: David Loki x Reader

Fandom: Prisoners

Request: Yes by Anon

Warnings: Fluff, Light Angst

Word Count: 1,564

Masterlist: Here

Jake Gyllenhaal & Co. Masterlist: Here

Summary: Everyone always says that the secret to a good relationship is communication. Now to see if you can teach an old dog new tricks.

This case was something different. Child cases were always the toughest for law enforcement and Loki took everything to heart. He made it his life’s work to find these children and bring them home safely. He made sure to be there for them when no one else was. however in devoting his entire life and being into these cases, other aspects fall short. Eating, sleeping, even relationships.

Dating was tough in general. Learning how to cohabitate with another person, love them unconditionally, and build a life together; it was a lot of work. That didn’t mean that it wasn’t worth the effort, but it sure was a lot. Dating anyone in law enforcement was even more difficult. The long and ever changing schedule, the toll of the work on their lives, but they made it work. At the end of the day, they always made it work.

But when you’re going on week two of interrogations, interviews, and patrols, it makes it very difficult to keep up with things that aren’t necessary for survival. David slips out of bed early in the morning, well before the sun has thought about waking up, to get ready for the day. He’s not chronically addicted to coffee like his colleagues but his second cup comes around lunch if he’s just doing paperwork for the day. By the time he’s “done” for the day, i.e. the captain told him to go home, he was itching for his third cup of coffee of the day. But he held off until he went home, deciding then if he wanted another one.

Then it was straight to the shower, then the bed, hoping he’d actually be able to sleep. David was lucky if he got a couple hours during these cases. Endless facts, theories, evidence, and crime scene photos playing on an endless loop in his head. It plagued his waking hours, and infected his dreams, if you could even call them that.

But nothing drained him more than being away from her. His rock. His shelter from the storm in his work and head. His partner. Cases like this required all of his attention, meaning he didn’t have the self preservation skills like eating in his head, much less keeping up with his girl. But he tried, in some way. Holding her when she was already fast asleep when he finally dragged his body to bed. Kissing her forehead and slipping out so as to make sure she gets as much rest as possible. Even fixing her a cup of coffee just how she likes it, and keeping it in her favorite temperature controlled tumbler so it’s perfect when she does wake. Other than that? They hadn’t really spoken the past couple of weeks.

Another day. Another lead. Another interrogation. Another dead end. Loki threw himself into his work the second he arrived, desperately trying to finish this case. He knew he had the guilty man in custody, now it was a matter of proving it. But the evidence was all circumstantial. He’d never make it stick which left him feeling even worse than he had been. It had been a grueling fourteen hour day for him when he finally called it quits and came home. And there she was; waiting for him over the stove that smelled delicious. It was late for either one of them to be up and eating, but there was a routine. David made his way to the shower as he heard the sound of cooking coming from the kitchen. As he emerged, feeling better after the scalding shower, he watched as she plated their dinner.

“What are you doing up this late?” He questioned softly, watching the clock read 11:30. She shrugged and placed his plate down on his side of the table.

“Work ran late. I didn’t get home till ten.” David nodded, and tried to dig into his food. There was silence between them and it was anything but comfortable. He pushed his fork around his plate, but nothing actually made it to his lips. While his lover was quietly looking at her own plate and trying to get food in her stomach, Loki could not. His mind raced too much about the day he was trying desperately to forget.

“How was your day?” She asked in between mouthfuls of food. He quickly tried to place a bite in his to avoid answering, but he could not make his hand comply.

“Same old.” David answered quietly. His hand stilled at the side of his plate. The woman across the table from him noticed, and reached her hand across to rest on his but did not expect the reaction she got. David hand shot up as if he had been burned, and his plate was cast to the side, spilling the contents on the table and a little on the floor.

“I’m fine. Why does no one believe me when I say to listen to me?” He exclaimed, clenching the fork in his hand so tight his knuckled paled. Loki stormed off to their room in a flurry and shut the door loudly behind him, leaving his partner at the table, dumbfounded. She had never once seen him go off like that. He never liked to do it around her, preferring to keep that side of him far away from his lover. While David would never go into detail as to why, she had a sneaking feeling there was an abusive relationship he witnessed at a very young age that scarred him.

She took a deep breath in, and got to work. Waiting to see if any other noises sounded off from the bedroom, she worked to clean up the food from the floor and table. Placing the dishes in the sink with a little water in them, she figured that’s would be tomorrow’s task. Right now, she had a lover and detective to see. Again, listening for anything bing thrown or broken, all she was greeted with was silence. Silently pushing open the bedroom door, the sight broke her heart. David sat on the bed with red knuckles, disheveled hair, and the saddest expression she had seen on the man. A cautious step forward, but no response from the man in front of her. She sat on the bed, far enough away that she was not touching her partner, but close enough that she could if she wanted to. There was no response. No verbal acknowledgment. No visual cue. Nothing to indicate that he was even aware off her presence. That was, until, he began to lean over. Leaning closer and closer towards his lover until his head passed in front of her chest, and landed in her lap.

The angle was uncomfortable for him, but a quick readjustment ensured that he could have stayed there as long as he wanted. Almost as soon as he got settled, David felt his lover’s hands start to card through his hair and massage his scalp. No words were said as the lovers embraced each other.

“I’m sorry I lashed out.” A very quiet voice came from the man. It was uncharacteristically soft and fragile.

“I know.” A soft voice from above said plainly. Her hands did no cease there ministrations as the couple quietly conversed.

“Work has me so stressed lately and I don’t know how much longer I can take this.” No one interrupted the man on his speech. Just soft breaths and gentle hands.

“I wanna keep doing what I’m doing. I don’t wanna stop but its…” he tried to finish the sentence but no more words passed his lips.

“Do you want me to listen or give some advice?” She asked her lover that was in her lap. Two taps on her leg gave her all the answer she needed.

“First of all, the fact that you recognize the need for communication is important. I understand you are going to lash out from time to time, but always come back to me.’

“Secondly, you need a break. Not a day or two, but a true vacation. You haven’t had one ever and you need to relax a bit and get away from work. I know you don’t want to but if you keep going like this, you’ll put yourself in an early grave. And I can’t find anyone else like you, David Loki. So you can’t die on me.” She joked as she finished. She felt her lover crack a small, genuine smile at this and rolled over so he could see her face.

“How did I get so lucky?” He asked, mesmerized by the moonlight on her face.

“Because the universe knew you deserved someone nice.” Leaning down, she pressed a kiss to his forhead, which he relished in. Pulling him up, the couple quietly got ready for bed. Tucking themselves in their sides of the bed, Loki welcomed his lover into his arms as they laid there while he faintly registered the clock struck midnight.

“I don’t deserve you.” He whispered, tucking in a stray strand of hair.

“Yes you do.” She replied, just as softly. Meeting in the middle, the couple shared their final kiss for the day, and allowed themeselves to rest in the arms of their lover. Knowing that tomorrow, if it got too much, they would have someone reliable to come home to.

[joe-spookyy]

hi today i’m ranking werewolf designs based on how much i judged the vfx team for creating them. full post under cut sorry it’s so insanely long but trust me on this one it’s fun i’m discussing an american werewolf in london harry potter twilight the wolf man buffy the vampire slayer etc and so on (except not etc that’s it.) my credentials are i’m insane about werewolf narratives and i’m the boss of the applesauce.

first up is an american werewolf in london. now THAT is a good beast. he’s spooky. he’s scary. he’s wolf-like but not Just a wolf. and they get some mega extra points for that transformation sequence. rick baker the man that you are. however as much as i love it there’s a few critiques i have to bring up. first. it’s kinda odd that so much of the color palette for the transformation scene was browns and blacks when the actual werewolf was mostly grey. the final product was a little off from the transformation. i did like both of them quite a lot though so i’m not that mad. see. look. kind of off. but it’s definitely not bad i can mostly see how one came from the other even though the colors might be a little different. it also sort of lacks in facial movement in its final form as it’s kind of stuck in that permanent snarl, but they did a good job softening its eyes in the final scene where alex is trying to get through to david. 9/10.

mid-transformation fully transformed

next up yeah i have stuff to say about the harry potter prisoner of azkaban remus lupin design. is it fuck ugly. yes. is it cgi. yes. is jk rowling responsible for it. yeah. however. is it kind of a creative take on the typical werewolf idea. i hate to say it. yes it is. it goes against the typical sorta big strong hunky beast werewolf, and i cant lie, i appreciate it. it’s unique and kinda haunting in its own way. i don’t like that it’s bald. but i like the boldness and well. they got creative. 6/10.

ugly fucking freak ⬆️

next i’m going back. way back. yes sir we’re looking at werewolf of london. from 1935. and the wolf man. from 1941. cause they look pretty similar and they’re both jack pierce so yeah i’m lumping them together. if you ask me these ones lean more to the side of wolfman than werewolf - they’re kind of just hairy guys. which is like fine i guess i just think they should put more emphasis on the wolf. i like the wolfman better than the werewolf of london, which makes sense, cause i know the guy playing the london one didn’t feel like sitting for makeup and so jack pierce got to do more on the second round i guess. however WHY was bela lugosi’s werewolf form a straight up wolf and not lon chaney’s? they don’t explain it. rude. they’re iconic of course but they are honestly not showstopping. 5/10.

werewolf of london the wolf man

alright we’re flashing back to the present with twilight!! yeah. ok so last time i was complaining about there being too much man and not enough wolf. or like. too much were? i don’t know. whatever. anyways. this time i’m complaining because it’s too wolf. that’s just. it’s just a big cgi wolf. i don’t like this. it’s boring. i don’t even have that much to say it’s just like. whatever. 2/10.

lame as hell ⬆️

now. i’m gonna get irritating here. next up is buffy the vampire slayer. now i love oz. i wanted to like the design i really did. and they started out off strong. well. strongER. it’s like. kinda bad. but it definitely looks like a wolf? and it’s. kind of person ish? i don’t know. they tried. the bodysuit is loose but it’s better than what’s to come so i have to give it like a tiny bit of respect. 4/10.

see? not great but could be significantly worse.

and it does get worse. so. let me speak. this is the worst thing i have ever seen in my entire goddamn life. that looks like a gorilla. there’s like barely any semblance of wolf on this other than that it has fur. i don’t understand why they decided to go in this direction it looks terrible. and the body suit part always looks loose as hell. it comes across as like an ugly gorilla mascot suit, and they make no effort to have it move in a remotely wolf-ish way. they usually just have it scuttling around like some sort of little freak. oz does not deserve this ugly shit. i love buffy and wanted to enjoy the werewolf episodes but lord have mercy. this sucks. whoever did this i’m gonna find you. 0/10.

oz (bad) evil bitch veruca (worse)

that’s all the werewolves i can think of right now actually. and it won’t let me add more pictures cause i’m on mobile. in conclusion an american werewolf in london did it best and every other depiction of a werewolf should be looking to that for inspiration. but fight me on these by all means i may have objectively correct werewolf opinions but that doesn’t mean i’m not open to discussion. thanks for watching #sparkleon

[have-a-hiddles]

Papas' Favorite Music

I was trying to think of what the various Papas all like to listen to (besides their own music, of course). I'm taking into account what we know of their personalities, their ages, overall vibe, etc. Granted, Copia will probably be the most detailed since he is the one we know the most about thanks to the Chapters.

Primo: Dude is nearly a generation removed from his brothers. He was already a teenager in the sixties, so his taste skews towards the hippie movement. Although I doubt he was active in anti-war protests, I think he likely enjoyed the resulting music. Bob Dylan, The Beatles, The Doors, Rolling Stones. Was dude at Woodstock? Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe... Strangely, he is NOT into Elvis at all. Not that he hates him or anything, but he will change the station if Elvis comes on the radio. Jailhouse Rock is the exception to this rule. Also really likes Johnny Cash and wishes to Satan and all of the Kings of Hell that his range was as deep as Johnny's. Modern music? Today's music often leaves him a bit empty since it's so mass-produced and lacks much complexity. There are some exceptions. Adele, Beyonce, Ed Sheeran, even some Taylor Swift.

Secondo: Mister I Must Be Edgy himself, Secondo is one of those people who detests anything deemed "popular" by the masses. As such, he actively dislikes The Beatles, The BeeGees, the Monkees, etc. Any artist/band that had screaming teenagers after them, really. That being said, he did latch on to the burgeoning hard rock/metal genre. Aerosmith, AC/DC, Blue Oyster Cult, Black Sabbath. There were two main exceptions to his hatred of popular music: Queen and David Bowie. He's not entirely sure if it's because the music is actually that good, or if he just really wants to fuck David Bowie and/or Freddie Mercury. (He did both, by the way, although not at the same time, much to his regret.) Want to see him singing into a hairbrush like a teen girl? Play Under Pressure.

Terzo: He likes EVERYTHING. He doesn't give a shit what genre a song is from; if he likes it then he fucking likes it! Shakira? Yeah, his hips don't lie either, gorgeous. Backstreet Boys? Yes, please! Britney Spears? Hit HIM baby one more time! Taylor Swift? Well he was definitely trouble when he walked in. Dolly Parton? Jolene, Jolene, JOLENE, JO-LEEEEEEEEEEE-EEEEE-EEEEEEEN! Opera? You can try to tear Marriage of Figaro from his white-gloved hands. Broadway? Homeboy will belt out Defying Gravity with the best of them. Disney? He will make you WEEP with his rendition of When You Wish Upon A Star. He even likes bands that constitute his "competition". Rammstein? JAWOHL. Nightwish? He will happily walk the Elvenpath. Random internet hits? He literally harassed Secondo with What Does the Fox Say? for three weeks when the song first came out. And Baby Shark. If a song spawns a meme, Terzo is all over that shit. And, yes, he has Rick-Rolled pretty much everyone at one point or another. Copia continues to fall for it. However, he LIKES that song, so the joke's on Terzo.

Copia: Speaking of Copia; much like Terzo, his tastes defy genres. He is very much into anything with a theatrical bend. Broadway and movie musicals are his bread and butter, including Disney/Dreamworks/etc soundtracks. He will put on entire one-man versions of shows to an audience consisting entirely of his pet rats. He ALMOST has that rap in Hamilton down. You know the one. There is a debate on whether taking Copia to Walt Disney World at any point would be a fantastic idea or a terrible one. Because he absolutely will sing at the top of his lungs the entire time and may frighten some small children. And yes, he absolutely has cried listening to Terzo sing When You Wish. With that as the foundation for his music tastes, he mostly likes music that tells a story or that has an accompanying music video that plays out a story of some kind. Think Meatloaf, Michael Jackson, Imagine Dragons, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Fall Out Boy, 30 Seconds To Mars, etc. That need for a story does spill over into his own music videos; Rats, Danse Macabre, Hunter's Moon, and Jesus He Knows Me. (I consider anything released after 2018 to be Copia's writing, with the exception of Mary On A Cross and Kiss the Go-Goat since they are Nihil's songs in-universe).

Fun Unrelated Fact: If my math is right, Primo is a baby boomer, albeit a young one. Meanwhile, the other three are thick into Gen X territory. Splains a lot, eh?

[review-anon]

Thoughts on Kokichi Ouma?

Oh boy. Kokichi.

He's a complicated mess as if you recall my tier list he's quite low down.

Yet characters of a similar archetype to him are way higher so what gives? Does he rub me the wrong way?

I'll explain Kokichi's...unusual tier placement soon but for now let's talk the easy stuff which is his character in the game.

When Kokichi was first revealed and everyone was fawning over him I wanted this guy to be a bastard. An complete and utter bastard that does something truly henious that nobody expect the kinnies will forgive him for.

So did I get what I want? Design wise he definitely looks insane as no normal person would wear a straightjacket. This has let to the fun theories he was an escaped mental asylum patient. And when the V3 fake spoilers were running around, fun times, they said he was part of a despair cult. Its certainly a unique look.

He's an absolute blast personality wise as he says the most outragious stuff and often riles the other characters. Saying Kiibo has a dick? Speedrunning Maki trying to kill him? And him messing with Shuichi?

The lying is something that you do need to read the lines between. Its not pathological lying as Kokichi would lie even when in situations its better for him to tell the truth, so its more like compulsive lying.

All of these are so much fun to watch and Derek Stephen Prince was a fanasatic VA as I could really hear the Digimon Emperor from his voice when doing Kokichi, and he delivers the lines and his vocal changes as Kokichi has one of the most dynamic vocal ranges. I was amazed he didn't have a second VA because some characters like Junko needed multiple VAs due to how wild the character was.

His actions are interesting to unpack because while he is a shit-stirrier like most rival characters, unlike say Byakuya and Nagito who are out for themselves, Kokichi has everyone's interests in mind but due to the nature of the Killing Game, he decided to play the villain someone for everyone to band against.

Problem is; this worked a little too well as everyone hated him and then after Chapter 4 which despite his bombastic display, he was definitely affected by, he decided to create a unsolvable murder case. Which got solved because gameplay.

Many more qualified people have done more in-depth analysis on why Kokichi is such a interesting character. In fact if it wasn't for the real reason he's so low, he would be around B/A tier.

So why is he so low? Well its not nothing to do with what Kokichi does in the games...but more of what he did to me. Putting this under the cut because its a very bonkers reason and I understand if you think this is a stupid reason and that is the reason why he isn't bottom tier.

For starters its got nothing to do with his lying. I've like liar characters like Nikei and David in the past so again the archetype isn't the reason. Its also got nothing to do with the fact he kills Miu and Gonta. I never liked Miu and yes Gonta dying is sad but its a Killing Game.

Its also got nothing to do with the fact he killed Kaito as yes the two bash heads a lot but its more to do with the secondary theme of emotions vs. logic rather then Kaito hates lying little shits.

And yes I did see thoses terrible YouTube videos which claims Kokichi is poorly written. That Youtuber is a terrible elitist analyst who clearly hates Kokichi as a character and is using smokescreens and the delusion they are more educated to persuade you otherwise. Its up there with the more terrible Game Theories.

Finally the Love Hotel scene is more on the tame side and its the sole reason why everyone and their mother makes Kokichi Joker whenever one does a Persona/Danganronpa crossover.

So if its got nothing to do with that then what gives? Why do I not like Kokichi? Is it to do with something personal?

Yes. Yes it is because during the entire year of 2017, I had to deal with a non-stop stream of lucid nightmares where Kokichi Ouma was a psychopathic yandere towards me. The entire thing was like a living A Nightmare on Elm Street and I still wonder to this day how tf it even happened in the first place. The dreams are like what I described them as; Kokichi was in love with me and wasn't gonna take no for a answer.

I'm normally lucid in my dreams so at first I just tried waking up early, but to my horror I would later learn that Kokichi himself was fully aware he was in my mind and every time I end a session prematurely while he couldn't obviously stop me, he could punish me next time I go to sleep since you know humans need sleep, and would use every dream mechanic you could think of to trap me.

These dreams completely fucked up my sleep schedule as I would often get 4-5 hour sleeps because of them, and while normally when I wake up in the night I would go back to sleep, to do that would mean more Kokichi and more horrors so I would often stay up at like 4am.

I studied as much dream theory as I could and tried all the tactics I could find to make these stop, but nothing worked and Kokichi would often mock me when I did so.

Clearly I don't suffer them now so how did I get rid of him in the end? Well I won't disclose how I did it but let's just say look at how Bill Cipher in Gravity Falls was killed and that should give you a good idea how I managed to get rid of that Kokichi in the end. Expect of course I didn't lose my memories.

Don't ask me how this happened, because I don't know either. As while I do have wild dreams I had nothing on that magnitude before or since then. The dreams had two lasting effects on me. Firstly, its made me scared of Doki Doki Literature Club as while Monika is a million times tamer then my psychotic Kokichi was, its still too close to home for me.

And the second is that its given me a bit of a sour opinion on Kokichi. Not because the character sucks but because its very hard to look at a character when something wearing their face and behaving almost exactly like them, was your personal Freddy Krueger for a little over a year.

TL;DR Kokichi is a good character and under normal circumstances I would have loved him but my brain decided that it was illegal and gave me lucid nightmares about him for over a year and that's made me hard to like him.

[pandoraroid]

The Pack Wedding 💥💥💥💗💥

reaction rambles bc yes

please keep in mind this is meant to be lighthearted i love these men with all my heart n life n soul

THIS IS 43 MINUTES IM SO SCARED WHY CANT I PRESS THE VIDEO this is too much nervousness for seven in the morning im dead

DAVEEEYYYYY HIIIIIII GMORNING MWAAAA

"it's the pack everything's gonna go crazy." bro it's the SHAW pack what does that say about you hm 🤔 /j i love you david 

"reception's gonna be a solstice party on steriods" I SNORTED SO DAMN LOUD 😭

now should be a good time to say that part of the reason why i like redacted so much is because it's so funny and lines like that do it for me every single time.

"i love you angel so very much" BOOGSH 💥 im so in love with you david shaw 

i think bro's in love with us guys idk 

"beautiful... you.." NO YOU 🫵 david we are not doing this back in forth in the morning JUST ACCEPT IT

he's triggering my cuteness/love aggression SO FUCKING SAPPY I LUV U MWAH

"you fucking menace c'mere" HIS LAUGH OMFG GOOD FUCKINH MORNINGGGG

IS ASHER NEXT PLEASE TELL ME HE'S NEXT 

MY MAN MY MAN MY MAN

"oh fuck it's the day" me just this morning

"asher breathe we're good you've been training for this your whole life" ELABORATE???? id love to know how exactly youve been training for this asher

"it's our wedding day. holy shit it's our wedding day. i'm gonna be a husband." KILLL MEEE RIGHT NOW I CAN HEAR HIM SMILEEE OMFG WEAR THAT SHIT WITH PRIDE ASHER

"i've always been husband material look at what we're working with" KILL ME RIGHT NOW /pos baabe smacking him though HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

id kiss you for the rest of my life asher

laughing against/while kissing THIS MAN WANTS ME DEAD

"say how much time do we have before we meet everybody in the lobby" LET THEM FUCKING WAIT

MILO AND SAM???? OH MY GOD???? (should go without fucking saying but... drive safe..... please...)

in my head: sam is driving. david's shotgun. ash & milo are in the back. just because. >> BRO I WAS RIGHT????

darlin driving in another car with the other mates??? that... isnt what i think it is.... is it......

david sounds so tired of their bs HAHAHA "rounded out with a little traditional opinion from them of all people" DARLIN FIGHT BACK

"hey we're fun too, right?" ASHER PLEASE

"well let's see: we've got a grouchy grandpa drivin us-" 

"hey." 

"at least he didn't call you cowboy." BRO

"now don't you start." 

"and we got the grumpy alpha."

"i'm not grumpy. just preoccupied."

"right. right." bros didnt even try to sound convinced

"we're fun." 

"asher. we spent your bachelor party playing destiny 2." 

"and smash!" 

"oh my mistake."

this entire conversation. peak.

"i dont even wanna imagine what chaos those four are getting up to piled in one vehicle." OH WOULDNT YOU LIKE TO SAM 

DEAD ASS SILENCE I LOVE IT i cant fycking breathe this is too funny.

in my head, they were definitely arguing over directions. or darlin's driving, or making fun of the other car.

wait darlin what

"or you'll likely end up staring down the maw of my own beautiful mate-" SAMUEL COLLINS

"oh move it mr. wedding day" WHY DOES THAT SOUND SO GOOD

"and fix your hair."

"it's suppose to look like this!"

"are you trying to look like you got married in a wind tunnel?" BRO NOT ON HIS WEDDING DAY 💀

sam encouraging milo omgomg

"you talk more than anyone i know. and i know asher." AHAHHAHAHAHAHA

"is my tie on straight?" 

"is it ever?" is the one wearing it straight /jjjj

david helping him with his tie someone kill me right now

GABE'S CHILI RECIPE WHAT

"why did you pick me?" OH SHIT

i seriously just listened and payed attention to their conversation so no thoughts head empty only them

"what really mattered in a beta was having a person that was the other side of your coin."

"i picked you because you were the one person i trusted more than anyone else. you made me feel safe at a time more than i couldve explained. you were everything i wasnt. where i was distant you were outgoing. where i was rough you were warm. where i was analytical you were intuitive. you're the other side of my coin. you always have been. so it never mattered to me what anyone else thought of what i needed in a beta because they didnt know me. i did. you did. and i needed the person that was right for me not for anybody else."

i couldve typed out everything david said but THIS!!!! I WAS SOBBING!!!! THEY ARE THE OTHER SIDE OF OTHER'S COIN NEVER FORGET THAT!!!!!!!! their vows to each other fr

this is wrecking me THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH

"you're too hard on yourself too."

"well we had to have something in common other than destiny and smash bros, right?" the range of friendship everyone 

THEYRE HOLDING BACK TEARS IN THIS ONE TRUST ME 

my heart felt so heavy in this WHY

"i think you're the best fucking beta i could have ever asked for. i think you're the besy friend i could have ever asked for. i deserved most of the time."

aaaanndd got heavier 😁

GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG GROUP HUG

"i just feel bad that i'm going to be up there looking this good y'know people are going to get confused on whose wedding day it really is." EAT EM UP SWEETHEART (i meant milo but them too ofc)

"do we get a step stool for behind the podium?" HAHSHAHAHAHHA THE CONCERN IN HIS VOICE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

"i love you milo"

"i love you too asshole" CRYING 

"thank you for doing this milo"

"i got you. always." ALWAYS.

CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY CEREMONY 

"when i was asked by my friends to officiate their unions, i only had one question for them: how much does it pay?" ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS

im really listening on this part so head empty.

oohh asher (i think it's asher) laughing through baabe's vows IS SO SWEET I LOVE YOU AND I ALWAYS WILL

OH DAVID GETTING CHOKED UP ON ANGEL'S VOWS KILL ME

"you're the best part of me. and i'll spend the rest of our lives showing that i'm worthy of that." oh david shaw you dont even have to try

"i now pronounce you all married the-the pairs of you to each other not all together" OH THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO LET HIM LIVE THAT DOWN

THE KISSES OMMMGGGKFHEKHEJSS 

CONGRATULATIONS ANGEL & DAVID

CONGRATUALTIONS BABE & ASHER MWAAAAAAAAHH TO ALL OF YOUUU

[fuckyeahisawthat]

Hey ho, have you seen The Creator (2023) yet? Unsubtly about US imperialism, but also really moving, aesthetically stunning (Greig Fraser as DP, oh yeah) and John David Washington killing it in the main role. I was surprised by how much there was to love. xoxo

I fucking LOVED The Creator and kept trying to write something about it here but never managed to collect my thoughts. But yeah what a fucking movie, oh my god. I feel like it kind of got buried by lack of publicity but tbh I am not that surprised because it's one of those movies with politics that make you think how the fuck did they get away with making this.

Gareth Edwards, like Villeneuve, is a director I've been paying attention to for a while now, ever since his 2010 movie Monsters, which was a really impressive low-budget sci-fi with effects that just looked seamless and interesting things to say about borders and the human cost of militarized responses to disastrous events.

And then he did Rogue One and pulled off something very impressive, which is to take one of the most famous sci-fi weapons of our era--the Death Star, a metaphor for nuclear weapons so iconic it has become a symbol in itself--and made it actually fucking scary for the first time in the history of the franchise. And he did it by turning the camera around.

Because the thing is that before this point, we had only ever seen the Death Star from the point of view of the people firing it. The idea of a planet-destroying weapon is intellectually horrifying but we didn't really ever feel it. Because for that we need to see the weapon from the point of view of its victims. It's such a simple but radical shift in perspective, and I feel like Gareth Edwards took that idea from Rogue One and then made it into a whole movie with The Creator.

The Creator, for those unfamiliar with the premise, is about a near-future counterinsurgency war in which the US military is hunting down various forms of AI/android/robot beings. It also features a space-based super-weapon that is eerily beautiful but goddamn fucking terrifying. It was mostly shot in southeast Asia and heavily evokes Vietnam War imagery (as the ending of Rogue One did as well); it is probably about as close to "Vietnam War movie but you're rooting for the Vietnamese" as it is possible to make in the American studio system. The protagonist is still an American soldier (who defects and "goes native" fairly early in the movie) but making him a Black disabled veteran was certainly a Choice. And yes it's John David Washington and he's great in it.

It feels facetious to say The Creator is Reverse Terminator, because it's much richer than that, but it's also kind of fucking true. For the entire movie, the characters are just running for their lives from the implacable and overwhelming destructive force of the US military which is just crushing everything in its path.

The movie does a lot of things that you simply do not see in most American war movies, but the one that stands out to me the most is that in every scene of war violence there are civilians, including children, fucking everywhere. It really threw into relief for me how often American war-action movies create these empty video game environments for soldiers to run around in, where any actual people who might live in the place where the war is happening are at best props and at worst completely absent. (Alex Garland's Civil War, in addition to being terrible in every other conceivable way, is a particularly bad offender at this.) The Creator does what really should be the bare minimum of taking time to showing that these are people whose homes and lives are being destroyed and it is shocking how novel it seems. (There's a line that plays in my head all the time where one of the AI characters says something to the effect of, "Do you know what will happen to the humans when we win this war? Nothing. We simply want to live.") I will also say that this made it a very intense watch in late October 2023 in particular, but it is fiction so we get a very satisfying and cathartic ending. And yes it is an absolutely gorgeous movie, the VFX are mind-blowing, and I found it quite moving.