#yes im still alive you cant stop me fuckers

[ask-am]

only good am blog. thank you

CAN YOU GIVE ME ADVICE ON HOW TO BE WORSE?

[kindnessisweakness2]

Delusional - Part 24

Jax's eyes widened in shock as he watched Delaney Grab the barrell of the gun. Lunging forward, taking Alex down to the floor as 3 shots of the gun fired, Jax screamed as he watched Delaney fly backwards. Smashing his fist into Alex face twice, Jax threw the gun away from him. He couldnt explain the relief he felt at the sound of the door flying open and the guys rushing in. Happy was the first to Jax's side. "Take this piece of shit to the warehouse. I want him alive Hap!" Jax barked orders he knew the Tacoma Killer would be glad to Obey. Juice, Tig and bobby followed behind Happy, there was no way that slimy fucker was running away now. Chibs and Gemma were all over Delaney. Jax stood next to Opie, gripping is hair in frustration as tears fell. "She grabbed the gun Ope. H-he said she had to choose. She grabbed the fucking gun!" Opie did his best to comfort his best friend. They'd grew up together, and he'd never seen Jax like this. Not even when Tara left. Jax always jumped to Anger first. Never let emotions get in the way. Fuck, he'd only seen him cry once and that was when he got the news his dad died. After that it was all fighting and drinking the pain away. "She's gonna be okay. She's a fighter. Shes survived the worst. It's gonna be alright man." And as Opie patted his best friends back, he hoped with everything he was right.

Chibs worked fast. Faster than he ever had. Cutting Jax's hoodie away, revealing the once white vest top underneath, he packed gauze into the open wound in her shoulder. "Its still in there. Im gonna have to pull the bullet out." He looked at Gemma as he spoke, unable to keep the worry from his face. He'd never had to work on an old lady before, let alone his VPS. "Shouldnt we get her to the hospital? Shes pregnant for god sakes!" Gemma questioned. Clay and Chibs shook their heads at the same time. "No. It raises too many questions. Shes been in and out of hospital too much recently. I can handle this Gem. Shes gonna be fine." Gemma shook her head, hoping what he was saying was true. Jax leaned over his girl, kissing her forehead. "Shes got a shoulder wound. The other two bullets missed her. Shes very lucky lad, but shes gonna have to rest after this. The doctor said no stress and i dont know what effect this would have had on the baby." Jax nodded at chibs, not being able to manage words. He stayed there, leaning over the love of his life as she lay unconscious on their living room floor. He begged whoever was up there, God, his Dad, Thomas, that both her and their baby would be okay. She didnt deserve this. She didnt deserve any of it. Him? He was far from perfect. Maybe this was Karma for everything he had done wrong in his life. The best thing that ever happened to him was going to be ripped away.

White hot pain. Thats what Delaney felt when she opened her eyes. "Fuck" She groaned as she tried to sit up, but a hand flew out to stop her moving. "Dont." Jax spoke softly as he sat on the side of their bed. "Alex.." He cut her off. "Happy has him up at the warehouse on the Wahiwah. He's not getting away this time, im gonna make sure of it." Delaney sighed, "I was so scared he was gonna hurt you." Jax cupped her face and kissed her gently. "I cant believe you grabbed the gun. You idiot! You couldve been killed, Our baby..." It was Delaneys turn to cut him off. "I wasnt going to let you get hurt because of me. Yes im an idiot, but your important Jax. Your needed." Tears fell from Jax's eyes as he kissed her again. "Your needed. I need you" Delaney wrapped her arms around him, hissing at the pain and trying to be gentle because of the stitches. "I love you Teller" Jax smiled at her . "I love you too you idiot." Gemma, Chibs and Clay made their way into the bedroom at that point. Each of them wanting to check on her and Chibs handing her much needed painkillers."Now we know your both okay. I have halfsack fixing the bullet holes in your living room and Happy's getting antsy. He needs to know what to do with the scumbag." Clay questioned Jax. "I want to see him." Delaney stated to the shock of everyone in the room. "It's my turn to get answers. Also i have a question, has anyone else noticed this fucker only re surfaces after Tara rears her ugly head and causes an argument?" She could see everyone thinking it over. "Think about it, both times hes come back and attacked me its been when Tara has managed to seperate me and Jax." Chibs and Gemma nodded. "The bitch has to be involved some how." Delaney stood from the bed, "We'll im gonna find out." Jax tried to stop her but it was no use.

Delaney was determined to find out Tara's involvement in all of this.

She wanted Answers and she didnt care who she was going to have to go through to get them.

[haveihitanerve]

“I cant fucking believe him.” Jason muttered. Dick looked up. “What happened.” he asked with a sigh. “I asked B that if he could, would he change anything about my life. Would he have given me a good father and mother and a happy childhood if he could've.” “whatd he say?” Dick asked in interest. Tim laughed, coming down the stairs to the batcave after his brother. “This fucker said no.” 

“Bruce?” Dick knocked on the door of Bruce’s study. “Come in.” His father called. Dick pushed the door open, strolling in and plopping into the seat opposite of his dad. Bruce looked at him in interest. “Yes?” “jason told me something rather interesting..” Dick began. “Oh not you too.” Bruce groaned, rubbing his forehead. “Ask it then.” Dick swallowed. “If you could go back in time and stop my parents from dying, would you?” Bruce looked at him, eyes fully serious. “No. No I would not.” Bruce-!” Dick began, shooting to his feet. “Please.” Bruce held up a hand. “Before you storm out like your brother, let me explain.” Dick slowly sank back down into his chair. Bruce sighed. “Of course I want whats best for you and Jason and Tim and Steph, all of you. bBut I don't know if them being alive, or Jason having loving parents or Steph having a decent father would be best for you.” Bruce sighed, his hands laying open on the table. Eyes earnest. “To me, Dickie, you are all perfect. And if something in your past changed, it might change you. Maybe for the worse, maybe for the better. But I don't know that. And right now? Right now I think you are all the best versions of yourself you can be. In my eyes you are perfect as you are and I don't wish for your parents to be alive because not only would they have robbed me of the chance to get to know you and watch you grow, but they might have stolen this perfection that you have grown into. This beautiful, strong man you are today. I am sorry that you lost your parents and I am sorry I couldn't save them. I know Im not the best father but you have still become the best person I know. And I don't want there to be a chance that that could have been changed.” Dick smiled, tears fresh in his eyes. “You might not have been the best father,” he admitted quietly. “But you were my perfect dad.” 

I love that in Bruce's wildest fantasies his parents can live but the Graysons do in fact have to die because he cannot fathom living without his emotional support orphan

[toutallyahoe]

I really liked your percy (weasley) fic!! can you do some headcanons with a male reader post battle of hogwarts?

a/n: hallo there anon and im happy to hear you liked my percy weasley fic! i really had fun writing it

and post battle you say...? :)

well, you didnt specify having [name] surviving now... didnt you?

:D

just joking

... unless...?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

let me first start with percy and [name] STILL hadn't been wed yet

[name] did say that he wants to marry percy when all the "drama" is over

so, before and in the Hogwarts battle, [name] and percy were still fiancee

the weasleys were rather very happy by the news, although they are a bit sad that they can not tell percy face to face with the whole disagreement of percy and his family

both sides are happy to have [name] at least update them what the other is currently doing

molly cries every time she hears percy overworking himself and is thankful for [name] by being with her baby boy's side

arthur was also happy and saddened since he cant tell percy how proud he was on the engagement since percy wouldnt answer any of his letters

the weasley children were also having mix feelings

of course they were happy with percy, their sibling, engaged to [name] (who they were close too aswell) but also a bit bittered because, again, they are currently having a fight with percy taking the side of the ministry of magic's side than dumbledore's

but again, they are happy for him. [name] is a good lad and they will always support their relationship

fred and george jokes that [name] is too good for percy tbh and ginny just giggling because she always knew that someday [name] was going to propose to her brother

charlie and bill were also so happy for their little brother despite the feud they have and ron was having mix emotions aswell but was ultimately happy for his brother

either way, the weasleys were happy for percy

anyways, with that out of the way, i literally have two possibility in the post battle of Hogwarts and i feel like you wont like one of those possibility which is kinda sad because i really liked that one and if i do make a part two, thats the side im leaning on

but ANYWAYS— happy ending!!!!

after the battle of hogwarts, after defeating the dark lord, with so many tragedy and deaths, percy was so fucking happy to see [name] by the end of the battle

percy already witnessed his brother, fred almost die

and YES fred is alive, fuck you i want happiness for these fuckers okay? canon is a bitch and im going to make her MY bitch. that terf author can go and suck my d

anyways, percy would literally lose it if he had lost [name] in the battle

percy already fears a lot whenever he is away from [name] from the guy being an auror

so, seeing [name], a bit bloodied and bruised with blood, soot and sweat sticking on his [skin color] skin, percy wasted no time to fucking run and jump on his fiancee

percy let out choke sobs when he hugged [name]

[name] was alive and percy was so happy

[name] was also crying a bit as he held percy tightly in his arms

his wand forgotten on the ground as his only focus was percy who was shaking and sobbing in his arms

[name] wasted no time whispering how happy he was to see percy

that [name] even admitted that he was petrified when he asked people where percy was and didnt gotten an answer where the ginger was, and he assumed the worse

but seeing percy, feeling the male on his arms shaking and crying, [name] was so relieved

percy was alive

he was alive

they both were fucking alive

percy admits his own fears of [name] dying aswell

and [name] just let out a pitiful chuckle as he broken the hug and immediately grabbed percy's face softly, his thumb wiping percy's tears as he sent percy a shaky grin

"you bloody git, i would never!" [name] says, his tone shaky as tears fell down his eyes. "i promised i would marry you after this, didnt i?"

oh merlin, the two were sobbing mess after that

the two were beyond terrified in the war

they never expected this and when they participated, they were expecting the worst

but here they are now, alive and together

skip after the clean up and the ceremony of the wizards and witches who had fallen in the battle, percy and [name] planned their wedding

percy and his family are obviously in good terms again which was great

fred recovered from his wounds and back along with george on teasing the fuck outta percy

ginny gushing on how the wedding would go along with molly

ron talking to [name] along with charlie, bill and arthur about it aswell and just welcoming [name] to the weasley family

it was just great

when the wedding day had arrived, it was only a small ceremony

but it was still perfect in both [name] and percy's eyes

when the vows were exchange and the rings on their ring fingers, percy felt the whole world just stops for a moment when [name] wasted no time to seal their fate together with a kiss

it was just so much passion and percy cried a little when reality had came crushing down

he was married to the man that he loved

the man who had been with him in hogwarts until this day

his friend, his love, his [name]

percy was so happy

it was just a blur after that

after the wedding ceremony and the small party to celebrate their marriage

percy had to say his farewell's to his family

it was saddening to see his mum crying about him leaving but percy was also so happy to hear her words

"im so proud of you, son. now go and be happy with [name]!"

arthur was also congratulating him aswell as sobbing

his son was all grown up now

charlie and bill patting percy's back and telling their little brother was a man now

fred and george teasing percy on [name]'s plan on the honeymoon (which had percy looking like his own hair after the twins teasing comments)

ron and ginny just gushing on his marriage

percy would miss his family, but looking at [name] who had a grin on his lips, percy was happy

he was part of the [last name] family now and god, percy was happy to be married to the love of his life

[singingforthepromises]

fruits basket - 2.09 lb

This one’s a tearjerker apparently. I’m not ready sjfsjfjsfsfj. I’ve got tissues handy!

Starting right out with Tohru calling for Kyo? Holy shit.

“Since when did my name have a special ring to it only when you said it?” WHAT THE FUCK WHAT WHSFJSJFSJF

“And if it made you smile, I’d do something over and over again for you.” GUYS THE WAY IM HOLLERING

“Since when did I...” oh my god he’s gonna REALIZE IT. HE’S GONNA REALIZE HE’S IN LOVE WITH HER. HELP. THIS IS THE EP WHERE HE REALIZES. OMG I DIDN’T EXPECT IT TO BE THIS SOONS FJSFJSJF

“I’ll be taking him today.” NO PLEASE DON’T PLEASE

“Wow, you’re both in sync~” Shigure wins a point for that line. 

Oh my god Thoru is SO happy for Kyo because she thinks it’s a good thing, honey nooo. Akito is gonna torment him and I can’t handle it. 

THAT LITTLE HEAD BUMP WAS THE CUTEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN. AND THAT SMILE AFTER. WHAT. HE’S NOT EVEN HIDING IT ANYMORE.

“So you’re kind only to Tohru.” SJFSJ PRETTY MUCH

“She’s... Tohru’s all alone again.” IMDGDGJ

“It’s not like we can defy Akito’s orders.” Okay, but WHY, though? I have an idea. A very terrifying idea. It’s the only thing I can think of, but I don’t want to voice it because it’s way too insane. But it makes so much sense. Akito has a God-complex, sure, we know that. But what if he’s actually the Zodiac God...? It would explain so much, like why no one can defy him or speak out against him. 

Whoa! Kyo’s getting much better at restraining himself! I’m proud. 

I want him to beat Akito’s ass but like.... I also know he can’t do that. It would make it bad for Tohru or someone else. 

Oh here we go. 

Help, I’m not ready for this encounter. I know I said before that I wanted them to meet but I take it back. I want Kyo to turn around and run. 

DON’T CALL HIM A MONSTER SJFSJJSF

Tohru is just so happy for Kyo and I can’t handle it. She doesn’t know what it means to be summoned. :(

Bet? What bet? What’s impossible?

OH. OH.

This is why he’s so adamant about beating Yuki! He made a bet with Akito, and he’d be accepted into the zodiac and not called a monster anymore. 

“But if you can’t win, I’ll lock you up until you die.” WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. NO. NOPE. NOPE. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOUUUUUU. 

HIS LITERAL FREEDOM IS ON THE LINE. I CAN’T.... 

That’s right, Kyo, say it! There’s still time until graduation? Like a year, I think? You can’t just call it. 

DID HE - DID THIS MOTHER FUCKER JUST HIT KYO IN THE FACE WITH THE BELL? IM

“Why are you so deluded?” oh god SHUT THE FUCK UP.

this music

oh my god im scared

“Remember that you’re a monster. And because you’re a monster, your mother is dead.” hOW DARE YOU.

I can’t watch this. omg. Akito’s literally starting his abusive, gaslighting shit and breaking Kyo down. Right from the get go. I’ve never seen Kyo look so terrified!

And this symbolism holy shit. The binds wrapping around both of them, linking them to each other, like a twisted chain. 

I might hate Kyo’s father the most out of anyone on this show, although he and Aktio are currently rivaling for that spot at the moment. How fucking cruel. How awful, how twisted, do you have to be to tell a child that? To blame a little boy for his mother’s death? 

HEY FUCKER LET GO OF HIM ALREADY.

“You should’ve died.” IM ABOUT TO THROW DOWN

Thanks. Thanks a lot, you broke him. 

“Is Tohru Honda the one who’s been encouraging these delusions?” AND IF SHE IS? FUCK OFF. SO WHAT. 

And now Tohru’s a monster too? I cannot believe 

“You don’t know anything.” GO OFF MY SON 

“You don’t know how scared she was.” 

“Even so, she didn’t run away from me. She - She held my hand!” HE SAYS THIS AS AKITO TELLS HIM TO SHUT UP ROFL YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU CAN’T EVEN HANDLE THE TRUTH CAN YOU. What a child!

“She knew that if she let go of my hand, I would never return. That I might never return to anybody. She didn’t take up all of my pain. She didn’t fill in all of the brokenness. But those... those weren’t important. The most important thing... was that she stayed with me. Finding joy in the smallest things, being happy and smiling so cheerfully. Why? She should think of herself more. Doesn’t she think she’s getting the short end of the stick? She thinks that she’s stupid, or that there’s nothing good about her.” OKAY IM SOBBING SJFJSFJSJSF

The traveler’s story!!!

“I love you. I love you so much. Just as you are.” JSFJSFJSJFSF I CANNOT IM CRYING SFJSFJSFJFS ;A; HE ADMITS IT. HE KNOWS NOW. 

Kyo’s crying ;a; 

SHUT UP ASSHOLE

“Don’t tell me that you’re in love with Tohru Honda?” FUCK. I MEAN YES, HE IS! BUT SHIT THAT AKITO FIGURED IT OUT.

I want to smack this fucking jackass SO HARD.

BITCH

IF YOU HIT KYO AGAIN IM GONNA

YES STOP HIM KYO

“You’re crazy.” YES YES YES YES 

oh my god what is Akito using her for 

“Do you think you have the right to fall in love with someone? You think that’s allowed?!” HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO ABUSIVE

“I won’t forgive you...” what was that voice just now?! what?!

oh my god. He has to lie. He has to give up on any chance of being with her... Akito’s successfully broken him down. 

I’m literally crying so much. 

“I’ll come visit you when you’re in confinement.” GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HIM RIGHT NOW. I’M SO UPSET.

I’m gonna be sick. 

Actually washing his hands because touching Kyo disgusted him. I’m. so. pissed. off. 

YUKI KNOWS KYO DOESN’T HATE HER! He protected Kyo (and Tohru) indirectly and I love my boy so much for that.

Kyo, baby. I’m so sorry. Don’t let this abusive asshole get to you. You deserve all the love and happiness in the world. 

Omg he went to look for Tohru but she’s not there. :( 

“Why do I still look for her?” Because you love her and you need her right now and Akito can kiss my ass. 

OMG THIS FLASHBACK WITH KAZUMA! THIS IS THE ONE THAT WAS HINTED AT LAST EPISODE!”

THIS MUSIC SKFSKFKS

“Even so, you’re alive because you haven’t given up hope yet. It’s because you know that not every soul in this world has rejected you.” YES YES

“Even if you don’t have a glimmer of hope now, it will surely come again. However many times you resist or trample it, however many times you’re thrown into despair, hope will come again just as many times. Repeatedly, again and again, it will bloom.” IM SOBBING THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL. KAZUMA IS JUST THE BEST.

YES, Kyo! Go run to find your girl! <3

OH MY GOD THIS FLASHBACK. KYO AND KYOKO I KNEW IT KNEW KNE HE KNEW HER HE KNEW HER!

“A man’s promise.” “I couldn’t keep it.” OH? WHAT’S THIS?! WHAT?!

“But she bloomed before me.” WHAT IS THIS ROMANTIC BULLSHIT IM HSKFSFK

“She continued to bloom. A small.... small flower.” HE SAW LITTLE TOHRU TOO I CANT HANDLE THIS

SHE’S HIS FLOWER YA’LL WHAT THE FUCK IM DYING IM CRYING IM SFKSFKSFK

He found her!

“Precious... my precious.... Tohru!” HOLY SHIT.

I’m gone guys.

I’m just gone.

She noticed he’s hurt!!! 

He... he doesn’t even care anymore. He doesn’t care about fighting to resist confinement. Or being accepted. Or not being called monster. He only cares that she’s here, with him. Oh god im crying so much this is OTP levels of love and I cant.

HER SMILE!!! HIS SMILE!!! IM DEAD

“I love you. I don’t want to take anything else from you. I don’t want to trample you ever again. At some point, I hoped we could always be together somewhere far off. But I won’t hope that anymore. I won’t hope that I could make you my own anymore. I won’t hope that, so please... at least.. at least be by my side, for the time I have left.” -high pitched sobbing-

HE GENTLY STOPPED HER FROM FALLINGSFSFKSFKSF

“Sheesh, what am I going to do with you?” SND G HE OTOK HER HAND LSFSF

“I want to be with you. Until we’re separated far apart. Until the very last moment.” 

I... 

I have no words. 

I’m a blurry mess of tears and I’m shaking. This was so monumentally beautiful, everything I hoped Kyo’s realization for his love for Tohru would be. I physically cannot handle it. They are so perfect. Kyo just wants to be with her for the remaining time he has left. He has no future. He just wants her. That is the most heartbreaking thing. I hate Akito SO fucking much right now. 

This might just be my new favorite episode. Wow. 

I need a break before I watch ep 10. 

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Life After Snowpiercer: One Problem at a Time

Summary- Curtis x Y/N. You and Curtis reunite, deal with some issues in the valley and reconnect 2 of the groups. Tension between you and Curtis. Warnings- Violence

Word Count- 5.3k

Chapter 6 / Masterlist

The firing from above was surprising, You and Johanna witnessed Wilfords old guard squad shout out in alarm and close ranks retreating. Johanna lowered the rifle, and breathed out hard enough to flip the hair that fell in her eyes back. “I dont know who it is... but they are pushing them back.” You sneak a peek out to see if you can catch sight of anyone, but thats when you hear the cry of alarm behind you, and you pull back, disappearing inside. Following your name being cried out, you see where someone got a ricochet. It had luckily lost some of its momentum, but still embedded enough to cause blood to blossom all over there shoulder and clutch at it to stop the bleeding. 

“Shit” You try to drag the man into the nearest light without making yourselves possible targets. “Shirt off... Whats your name?” You ask as you maneuver him, grabbing the hem of his shirt and start to pull it over his head. 

He grunted as you lifted the shirt over his head. “Mickey... we was trying to get the kids into the back once we heard the firing started, but not fast enough apparently.” His eyes watered a bit, but other then that, he stayed perfectly still. 

“Yea it got pretty dicey there for a bit. Does anyone have a knife?” You start hold out your hand till someone shoves a military grade blade into it and you start cutting off pieces of clothing off one of his shirts, and directing him to sit down, so you at least didnt have to go to your tip toes to dig out the shard. “Okay Mickey, Im gonna be as quick as I can, promise. Just please dont move.” 

“No worries Miss, I can handle it.” He took a deep breath and nodded in affirmation that he was ready. Lets get this done, you coached yourself, never actually having removed anything like this. Your head tilted and the tip of your tongue stuck out as you started to use the tip to wedge along one side. Mickey was true to his word and stayed still, allowing you to dig further into his flesh till THERE, the tip slid underneath and you could pop it out “Got it!” 

Wadding the piece of cloth against the seeping wound, you are careful not to touch anything as his blood was all over your hands. “Be right back, keep the pressure on it.” John stepped in to monitor him as you make your way back to Johanna who was looking through the scope up at the cliff. “Son of a bitch, hes gonna do it....” 

“Safe to go out and scrub my hands you think, and do what?” You question as you look over her shoulder, and Johanna drops the scope to look without the assistance to the top of the cliff. “This bastard, hes gonna jump down., OH HELL THERE HE GOES!” This is when you lean out and your jaw drops. 

Curtis pulled back the rifle when he thought he saw you, holding his breath, hoping for another glance, anything to confirm it was you he saw. Rolling away from the edge, and up to his feet, he paced the edge for a moment. “I gotta get down there now, do we have any rope?” He asked the person closest to him, the man shaking his head and asking another nearby. Resounding negatives sounded, and Curtis just didnt have the time to search the train cars for any. Looking over the edge, he studied the way down, noticing small juts of ice build up on what he guessed were ledges, he formed an idea. Was it crazy? Most likely, but what the fuck. Sliding the rifle strap over his shoulder, he held it out to anyone close by. “Give me an axe, Im gonna need you all to cover me while I make my way to the train car.” 

The man whom he had asked for rope earlier looked down the side as if studying what Curtis had been looking at, frowning for a moment in thought, then his eyes widened. “Man you cant.” 

Curtis didnt even pause as he hefted the axe, checking it was one with the sharper blades, and swung it around in a loop once, twice, three times to loosen his good arm. “Man I am.” 

“Thats could be a damn suicide jump. Your gonna break your legs, even with the deeper snow at the bottom, you have no clue whats down there!.” 

Curtis shifted to the edge, turning his body so that his good side holding the axe would be close to the cliff wall. “Yea well, I might not know what, but I know who is down there, and who knows when those fuckers will be back.” 

CURTIS EVERETT, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DIE, YOU AND ME BUDDY, WERE THROUGH. 

No were not, and I will be fine, trust me. 

Trust you? Fucken hell Curtis your lucky I do. 

Thats my girl. 

And it seemed like he just stepped off the edge, plunging the axe into the snow and ice on the side, it slowed him down slightly in his descent, and he was able to steer himself enough to land on the ledge he was aiming for. For all of five seconds. 

It gave out from under him “Oh shit” he exclaimed as he dropped down, trying to smash the axe head back into the side, it finally went in, but he just sped up more, bouncing off the wall once in a while, fuck his ribs. Well they are definitely broken now if they werent before, and all around him white rolls of snow started shifting, and racing down with him. Soon it was enough to be considered an avalanche, and he landed heavily at the bottom, a dumping of snow landing on top of him. 

You jumped out of the train, with Johanna leaning out trying to catch you and stop you from taking off. But you rolled out of her grip. “Y/N! Come back, its not safe!” But damn it, you werent paying attention to anything but Curtis falling down the side of the cliff. HE JUMPED! THAT BASTARD JUMPED, GOD DAMN IT CURTIS! you screamed internally as you plowed your way through snow almost to your knees, falling every now and then, and struggling to get up, the whole time your panicked mutters of “nonononono” filled a bit of the silence after the snow crashed on top of itself at the bottom. By the time you reached the cliff face, all around you was just white swirls where the snow had yet to properly settle. “Curtis! Where are you?” You yelled out, looking all around you, but nothing, just white. Unsettled wisps blowing in your face. 

“Come on baby, answer me” your voice is starting to panic as you start searching under you, for anything Curtis shaped. If hes trapped under the snow, hes going to suffocate, sobs of fear escaping, and tears brimming your vision. You plunge your arms into what looks like the deepest snowbank and dig like your life depended on it. It did, it did depend on it. Why was he so fucken stupid? Jumping off a cliff, god damn you Curtis, if you leave me alone here... Your wheezing, completely unaware he had come up behind you, and in true Curtis fashion, he grasped your hips and swung you around. Shocked, your looking up at those familiar blue eyes, adrenaline had blown his pupils wide with the rush, and he to is panting, clumps of ice and snow in his beard and his whole face is red where it had been covered in snow. For seconds your just staring at him, but then, you let him have it. 

Your fist comes against his chest in a rage, bouncing off his pecks, and your just raging at this point. “what the fucken hell Curtis, you could have DIED! You idiot! Died, dead, gone, no more, do you hear me?!” He allowed it for a bit, but then he caught your hands and drew you in as the sobs of fear broke from you, struggling in his hold and grabbing his face, that damn face you love so damn much it hurt, one you were so scared for and mad at and just beyond relieved to have back because you were hurting all over and wanted to sink into his arms and be told that it was gonna be okay, that damn face. You crashed your lips against his, kissing him fiercly and possessively, only breaking apart when the loss of air burned your lungs and your head swam with dizziness. 

“Dont you ever do something like that again! God your such an Idiot, I love you” your forehead leaning against his, and his eyes looked in yours and you could see that he would again without question, and before he could say that, you nip his lip softly to keep him quiet and roam your hands over his chest and pull back. You werent allowed to go to far, as he yanked you back  in, his own hands searching you for anything out of the norm, cupping your face and placing a softer, but no less desired kiss on your lips “I wasnt going to leave you down here baby, I thought Ive lost you endless times over the past few days. I knew I saw you. I had to get down here. Especially with those fuckers coming for you.” 

Your hands slide into his coat, and that familiar warmth starts to seep into your burning cold fingertips and his oversized hands wipe your face dry, kissing across the cheeks and your nose to calm you down, leaning his forehead once more against yours. “You couldnt ask me to leave my girl here and not to to get to you, right?” And with that, your anger dissipates much like the remaining snow crystals in the air that swirl near you, your combined heat melting them away. Relief floods you and you sigh, leaning into him, God I need you so damn much. His arms enclose you and for the first time in days your okay. 

“All of it, they said they were just toying with you the entire time.” You breath out and pull back enough to look at him. “Did you get all the way there? I assumed so once the train derailed.” 

Curtis was going to have to tell her all that happened, and that was the big news about her brother, in that he was dreading. Not that her brother was alive, but what they twisted the man into. He nodded, and decided it would have to be later, once they were safely settled, could he break the news to her then. “Yes, we lost good people.... but they got me to the front, got me to Wilford. Come on, we have to get out of sight. I have a few people up top to cover us.” You didnt inquire anymore at the moment, following along in his footsteps as best as possible, your hand still fisted in his, loathe to let it go. You could easily see he was hurting, the way he took jagged steps. But you woudnt know more till he would really let you look him over No guns had to be fired, and maybe there luck was turning around. 

Johanna had the gun trained on Curtis till You stepped around him and waved your hand that it was okay, and she pulled back. As you two approached, Curtis climbed inside and held out his hand, greeting her with a thanks. “Damn glad Y/N had you with her Johanna.” She nodded her your welcome and turned to you. 

“If your planning on moving anyone, theres a couple who are beat up pretty bad. Your friend Sara is definitely suffering from blood loss, and we got to relocate a few shoulders.” Hearing the women discuss the injuries, Curtis was relieved it wasnt anything worst. But as he caught sight of the survivors, he knew why. There must be more casualties then survivors. They were a weary bunch, the kids all huddled together, sleeping or whispering to themselves, adults wandering back and forth unable to relax, some leaning back against the wall, holding there arm or shoulder from where it came out of joint in the fall. “Has anyone been able to go through the cars?” Curtis asked as you came up beside him. 

“No, once we landed, I got the kids to gather supplies, and then the guards tried to collect us. We bolted right out and headed to the cliff face. Others followed us. Paul told me that his cart had usable food in it and thats as far as we've been able to plan ahead." John came up to join them, listening in and introducing himself to Curtis.

"Probably would have either went into the other cars today, see if anyone survived the night or tried to find a way up. These are all the back end cars.... Short of the protein blocks, no other usable supplies. Old threadbare blankets, maybe some clothing." John mentioned, leaving Curtis nodding in agreement. He was right, all the usable supplies were in the front, they went through several freezer carts of beef and chicken, a garden cart, a bit of live stock in another, even an oversized tank that might still have usable food in it, he was sure once the train derailed any heating system went off, and it might all be frozen solid. And then not even mentioning supplies such as medicine and other goods. As Wilford mentioned before, it was an entire enclosed ecosystem. One that Curtis ripped wide open now.

"Theres a group up there waiting for us... The last of the tail enders and a few others, simple fact is we gotta move everyone up. Safer for us to be in a group then spread out, especially with Wilfords old buddies.” Curtis said that last part sarcastically, and you glanced at Curtis. 

“Well we cant climb up the way you came down, especially with people like Sara. Someones got to find a trail if there are any” 

So it was decided a couple would go look along the cliff face, see if there was a reasonable way up, John volunteered along with another man. They bundled up as best they could, blankets draped over there shoulders and they warily started along the trail you and Curtis made earlier. Now onto the next issue, You knew you should have taken care of the out of joint patients, more things like clothing was needed, some of these people were shivering with blue lips and fingertips. Fuck what a disaster. All of it. A hand came to your back and Curtis slipped up behind you as you watched the two men continue down your trail. You leaned back into his chest, and closed your eyes for a minute. Letting everything just go still inside you, just having him back eased you a bit. 

“We will be okay babygirl, get them all up and continue on our way.” His fingers brushed aside your hair laying against your neck and he dipped his head to kiss the curve, his lips soft brushes along the length. You enjoyed the sensation for a few moments, familiar and warming. But then enclosed when his hand moved to settle on your stomach and hold you in close, your breathing hitches. Why? Whats wrong? And you fight out of the haze clouding your mind, and pushing his hand back and away, turning to face Curtis. “We probably better get to those patients. Help me with them?” You brush past him and head into the back, frowning at yourself for how you just reacted, knowing exactly what it was, but admitting it was an entirely different story.

Curtis was surprised when you pulled away, about to stop you and ask what that was, but it had been hell for the past few days, so it would be understandable if you werent yourself. Following along with you, you were talking to Sara, who Curtis vaguely recognized from the back end. Lifting the rag she had used to keep pressed against her shoulder. “Im sorry I didnt get this out sooner Sara, but I got to now.” Another mistake, you think to yourself. There is a bit of redness and streaks blooming around it. Fuck why didnt you take care of this last night. With the way she was shot, you were sure there might be more then just a slug embedded in there. “Come on, lets go in the light.” You two go forward and as you pass Curtis, you encourage her to continue where Johanna was perched in the doorway, watching. 

“Curtis we definitely need more clothing, something for at least the kids to wrap up in. They will freeze with what they have now out there.” Your almost reach out to touch him, then pull back, stuffing your hands in your sleeves instead. 

“Yup, we will get it. Work on Sara and the others, we will be back soon.” He didnt push to touch you or share affection, but you tugged him back and placed a speedily kiss on his lips last minute. A ‘im sorry’ for earlier for yourself, he flashed you look that spoke volumes, then spun away and his voice boomed “Listen up, you... you... and you, were gonna be hitting up some of these cars... you....” Walking away, you felt more in control now, hearing him take control and having a plan in place. Sara was sitting with Johanna, looking exhausted, but holding a conversation. 

Withdrawing the knife you used earlier, you have Sara sit in the light, Johanna lowers back to her earlier spot, the rifle hanging out the door to keep watch. Bringing her shirt down enough to take a look at the wound, you sigh. “Like with Mickey, this is gonna hurt like a bitch. And I gotta make sure nothing is left in there.” Sara nodded and once more you dug for the bullet. Sara hunched a bit and did her best to stay still, a gasp escaping once in a while, but overall when she slouched forward into Johanna, you knew she passed out. Good, make this easier. 

“Sorry, let me just finish this and we can move her” You state and Johanna nods, moving to cradle the woman while you hear a plink! to the bullet falling out, and a few more pokes and prods, the blood seeping down, hesitant but hopeful that will finish cleaning the wound. “Okay, think shes good.” You use the rag she was earlier to put pressure on it and once it seemed to stop bleeding so much, you two move her, already Sara was stirring much to your satisfaction. “Just hang out here a bit, m’kay?” A nod and wince as she puts the rag back to be sure it wouldnt start bleeding. 

Then you went through the rest, relocating joints, checking nicks and cuts. A few people you found out had busted ribs, one had a arm that should be put in a splint, but there simply was no way to do so. “Just... keep it close to your body and dont move it. It will heal, in time.” Putting together a make shift sling with a shirt someone volunteered. Just as you were finishing up, Curtis and a few others returned, arms bundled in clothing, and as you two dispersed them among people, and bundling the kids up, you quietly ask him. 

“Was there alot.... of people... ?” 

“Yea baby, more then I thought there would be. Some of them, its hard to tell if it was before or after the crash.” He passed off a jacket to someone and looked at you. “Then there were others that just.... Its a lot.” 

You didnt push him, ask where he was going with that sentence, you had an idea of what it meant, and you didnt even want to have him have to explain his choice. People dont always survive. 

He continued, handing off the last item, and turning to you. “We only went through a few, but we cant wait any longer. And I found where those guards were hanging out, They have been collecting supplies in the further cars, as much as could be had” 

You swallow a bit, and keep yourself busy with the thought of them. “Where are they now?” 

“I dont know, they wandered away from the cars at some point. Im assuming they didnt have a aim on them up above and they werent coming back around to us.” Curtis shook his head as they started getting people up, moving them forward. “But if they do... “ Curtis rumbled softly under his breath. You pause and rest your hand against his back, inside dreading the coming conversation. He was already so on edge to them being out there. Johanna called then to you two, and John ducked back inside. “Well we found what looks like an animal trail. Goes right up along the side, and looks like its well used. Do you think... theres really something alive out there?” 

A shrug and nod from you “Were still alive, right? We can only guess as to what survived after the freeze.” 

It was painfully slow, John and Adam, as you come to find out what the other mans name was, led the group, you stayed with the kids, and helped Sara as much as she was able to stand, behind you were more of the adults, including Curtis and Johanna who were making sure no one fell behind. When you finally crested the top, you stepped off to the side, huffing with exertion, the people who had remained at the top cars were helping others inside or near some fires they all were able to start, clearly they had been busy while you all were coming up out of the valley. Curtis came up beside you, a groan of his own as his hand pressed against his left side. “Lets get inside babes, then we can take a break. We all need one.” 

Sara was collected and helped to where the other people were recovering, and Tam rushed up to the two of you once you entered the car “Hey, I got the kids, Edgar is sitting up already, and his back is looking much better.” You look confused for a moment, and Curtis shakes his head at you. “I will explain later. Thanks Tam, if everyones set, were going to go settle in somewhere for the night.” Assured that everything would be handled, Curtis led you away, these were similar to the tail end car, just with windows. Curtis was quick to find you two a empty bottom bunk. You crawled in first, and leaned against the wall, your head tipping back. Fuck you were so tired, and he semi collapsed next to you in a similar fashion. 

You turn just your head to look at him, and smile when you see hes doing the same thing. There hadnt been any chance to really just be with one another since reuniting and you reach your hand out, weaving your fingers with his. “Hey.... Thank you for keeping your promise and coming back to me.” 

He sat up a bit more and let go of your hand, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you in close, placing a kiss to your forehead, whispering. “Im sorry for leaving you like that babygirl. All I could think of was keeping you safe.” You put your hand against his mouth. 

“Handsome its fine, I know why you did it. Tell me what happened.” You inquired, and Curtis fell into how he pushed the group through each car, the ones they found that was possible to find supplies and food in for them, how the bridge claimed so many of them, one of whom he thought was Edgar, but that wasnt the case. How Nam wanted to blow open the side, jump from the train when he wouldnt open that final door, and this is where he stalled. He had to tell her. All of it. Her brother, his arm... he managed to keep it hidden this whole time, the pain a background noise at this point. 

“Babygirl come here, I just... need to hold you. I really thought I lost you.” He hauled you into his lap, and you tensed up momentarily when his arm circled around you, rubbing your lower back and side. But this was Curtis, you were safe. Under his hand you finally relaxed, and your head rested on his shoulder, he started in on the next part of his story. The rumble of his chest lulled you, while you listened. Wilford offered a deal, and Curtis admitted that he considered it. You lifted your head and looked at him. “You wouldnt have been able to live with yourself” He nodded, and leaned forward to kiss your lips softly. “Your right, I would have become everything I hated. Baby, this next part, you got to listen to me. Okay? the whole part before any questions.” 

“Curtis what is it?” Your brow furrows with concern at his words. 

“Matt, your brother... Hes alive, and he still is. I left him back at the front.” 

Your silent for a moment, and he could see your mind racing, processing his words. 

“Hes still alive... Matts still here.” And the joy that crossed your face broke Curtis heart because fuck he was going to have to tell you just how far gone he was, that there wasnt the compassionate little boy anymore. But a man with cold resolve and placed himself above the others, for he was the prodigy.  

“Baby, he isnt who you think he is, not anymore.” Curtis hands captured your face to make you pay attention to him. “Wilford trained him to be his successor, brainwashed. He has no compassion for any of the people, were something to control.”

“What? No Curtis, he loved us, He wouldnt forget, unless he thinks I let him go.” Your thoughts are spinning out of control, just what Curtis didnt want. You pull back from him then “He cant be that bad, I mean, Once I explain all that was going on, he will see.” A saddened look crossed Curtis face, reaching out to draw you back to him. 

“Baby we can try... but they were using our kids to run the train, put them right into the engine, and afterwards... Executed if they served no more purpose. Under his order, he was set on killing Yona, Nam and I if I didnt agree to there terms.” He couldnt even bring up the way your brother talked about you, the callousness of his words in discussing you, whom loved him more then yourself. 

“No... he wouldnt have been okay with it.” Your breathing grows more rapid and Curtis rubs your arms to comfort you. 

“I know baby, Im sorry... “ He was doing everything he could to calm you, but it was only setting you off worst. Again you pulled away from him, drawing your legs up and hugging around your knees, what are you not telling him? The only time you pulled away was the weeks after Matt was taken and you withdrew into yourself. “Y/N? Talk to me please?” He wants to reach for you, but you’ve just drawn yourself off, quiet as you stare ahead. 

Matt wouldnt, Curtis must have misunderstood what happened. He did what he had to to survive, the conclusions you drew. “You said hes still alive? You had to leave him behind, is he safe?” 

His hand dropped to his lap, studying you even as you waited for an answer. “He was safe when I left him and Claude. I was told you went over a damn cliff, I honestly had no other concerns.” His tone slightly clipped, and you can see where hes holding it together under a great strain. You unfold yourself, and return into his hold, feeling him once more relax being able to rest his hand on you. 

“They had Timmy, in the engine. Whatever they did to him, he was so unhuman acting. Robotic, he wouldnt come out once Nam and I secured the room.” He shifted you and this is the first time you see the tangled mess of his arm when he slid his sleeve up, deep laceration that have scabbed over criss crossing where the gears tore in, but they were still great tears, all of it swollen, and throbbing looking. “Fucken hell Curtis” You cuss as you finish rolling his sleeve up to look at it. “Youve been like this the whole time? Baby you need medicine in case of infection.” So tenderly you inspected it, you seemed more like yourself now, your mind distracted. 

Curtis remained still as you went to roll the sleeve back down, and was gnawing on your bottom lip. “God damn handsome, im so sorry.” Your hands went to his face, feeling for any kind of fever, and giving a small smile when he turned into your palm and nipped the center, kissing your fingertips before letting his head once more fall back against the wall. “You seem to not be fighting off an infection though. But I will feel better once we can secure some stuff from the medic car.” You shift to his other side so you dont risk touching his arm, rubbing your hand along the back of his neck. For now you both go quiet, just being together. This time his hand slides along the inside of your thigh, just resting warmly there. You can feel yourself drifting off, and finally he says softly. 

“We should get some sleep” He shifted off the wall, and laid down for the first time in days, waiting with a lifted arm for you to do as you always do, curl in against his chest. Which you did, you always did, and stretching out, scooting over till his arm rested over your hip, he tugged you in the rest of the way. His body is hard against your back, and his beard scratches lightly behind your neck as he placed kisses there. Nothing sexual, just a bit of intimacy after such a long time apart. You cant help but tense up, which he notices when you dont sink into him, how your breathing doesnt soften after a few minutes, and he wants to ask you, make you spill whatever it is your holding inside. But he doesnt, he just stays by your side, his hand moving to slide under your shirts and gently let it rest against the softness of your stomach. Wide awake until finally he hears you release a soft snore, a true testament to your exhaustion. 

You laid there, your fingers curled into the ticking of the blanket your laying on, your heart a quick flash patter, escape escape escape, this was fucking CURTIS. How could you feel that hot heat of panic flushing your body or that your throat was squeezing air through a straw. You waited, waited for him to tighten his arm around you as he usually did or sprawl you across his chest when he rolled to his back, but he stayed still behind you, and the tension between you two just built. I should tell him, but how can I? For whatever reason, it shamed you that you couldnt fight them off. Finally his fingers just splayed against your stomach where he worked his hand under your shirts and loosely held you. After a while, you couldnt help it anymore, falling asleep. Fuck those men for doing this to you. 

@curtisbbq​ @what-is-your-plan-today​ @p8tn0lish​ @jtargaryen18​ @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​ @official-and-unstable-satan​ @thatweirdwalangpake​

[freshsliceoflemon]

1 | Projects and Objects

James Madison recently gotten a number from one of his classmates, since the two have a project due next week. Turns out, the number is incorrect which leads him into talking to a total stranger, and then into an absolute disaster.

____

This is a college + modern + text/chat AU. It's a slow burn fanfiction, too, but not including Burr and Lee's relationship along with Hercules and Lafayette's. Madison/Jefferson/Hamilton ship. Warning: Cursing. _______________________

***-***-**** (3:55) P.M): Hello, Molly, this is James Madison. You gave me your number in class in regards to the group project we were recently assigned to. Since it is our duty to work together as partners, I hope we can come to an agreement where we have little to no social interaction at all.

??? (4:01 P.M): wot

???: Oh yeh

???: Think you have the wrong number, my dude

???: Yeah*

***-***-****: Pardon?

***-***-***: I have checked the number three times already.

???: Lmao molly gave you a fake number

???: she isn’t interested in u

***-***-****: Why should she be, anyway? I am not interesting in the slightest. We’re just partners for a project that we were assigned. Don’t assume.

***-***-****: Please disregard my rude interruption from whatever you were doing, I shall proceed to erase your number from my contacts and we will carry on like this never happened.

???: What

???: Noo dude wiat

???: James

???: jAmes

???: JAMES ANSWER ME THEERE’s A FIRE

***-***-****: If there is a fire, you should have called the fire department.

???: I just wanted to text u, sheesh >:^

***-***-**** (4:10): What is that.

??? : What is what ???: The emoji thingie??

???: Smh

???: I want to be your friend!! can we be friends????

***-***-****: Why? There is no reason for us to be, I just managed to get the wrong number.

???: I’m thomas!! Thomas Jefferson!!!

???: C’mon, let’s be friends! You seem like a cool guy

???: And a nerd, and nerds are my type ;))

***-***-****: What.

***-***-****: Whatever. I have no interest in pursuing a relationship with you, Jefferson. We don’t know each other at all, and I do not have time for friends. This project is worth half of my semester grade, and I will not be failing because of this foolery.

???: Smhhh

???: Seriously?? no time for friends

???: That’s really sad, my dude

???: well, guess what

***-***-****: What, pray tell?

???: Your my best friend now >:DD

***-***-***: You’re*.

***-***-****: And no, how does one simple interaction make you my “best friend”?

???: You’re my best friend now, shut up

***-***-****: Are you serious?

???: I’ll prove it to you then!!! watch!

***-***-****: What.

______

       Macaroni Fxcker added ***-***-**** to Anatomical Lasers

Macaroni Fxcker (4:11 PM): Guys!!! tell james that I’m his best friend and that he can never deny it!!

A.Hammy: what

A.Hammy: dude who did you add

Macaroni Fxcker: My bestest best friend james

smile the fk more: I thought I was your best friend, Thomas

Macaroni Fxcker: Youre my second best friend don’t worry

A.Hammy: who did you add jefferson

Macaroni Fxcker: James!! say hii!

Baguetteroni: Hi James

***-***-****: Jefferson, why did you add me to this?

Baguetteroni: Wow

Macaroni Fxcker: I wanted to prove to you that im your best friend >:|!!

A.Hammy: smh..

A.Hammy: did you kidnap someone? again?

Macaroni Fxcker : Uh, no

smile the fk more: Thomas, are you lying

Macaroni Fxcker: I’m not!!

Macaroni Fxcker: damn now i have to convince yall that im not lying

***-***-****: What.

***-***-****: You kidnapped someone before?

A.Hammy: ugh we talked about this before jefferson

A.Hammy: so, “james”, what’d you do to get kidnapped by thomas jefferson???

***-***-****: I wasn’t kidnapped.

Macaoni Fxcker: Yeh!!! he said that he didnt have time for friends soo

       Seabunny is now online.

Seabunny: Whaat? But everyone needs friends :^

Leelee: omg stop fucking spamming my notifications guys

smile the fk more: Charles, mute the chat if you dislike the notifications

Leelee: shut up

smile the fk more: Yeah, I’ll shut up alright Leelee: oh no.

       smile the fk more is now offline.

Leelee: oh n o

Seabunny: So James! What’s your zodiac sign?? favourite animal???

Baguetteroni: Oooooo whats ur favourite color??????

***-***-****: what have you done jefferson

Macaroni Fxcker: I added you to my group chat duh

Macaroni Fxcker: I thought you were smart or somethin

       ***-***-**** has left Anatomical Lasers

       Macaroni Fxcker added ***-***-**** to Anatomical Lasers

A.Hammy: bruh

Seabunny: ó .ò

Seabunny : What about favourte herbal tea?????

Leelee: wooow.

       ***-***-**** has left Anatomical Lasers

Macaroni Fxcker: Omg stop

       Macaroni Fxcker added ***-***-**** to Anatomical Lasers

       ***-***-**** has left Anatomical Lasers Macaoni Fxcker: Bitch Seabunny: Oop-

       Macaroni Fxcker added ***-***-**** to Anatomical Lasers Macaroni Fxcker: You should change your nickname Macaroni Fxcker: Numbers are boring, james >:|

***-***-****: Numbers are not boring and never will be. Just let me leave.

       ***-***-**** has left Anatomical Lasers

A.Hammy : Stp A.Hammy : fuck i meant stop* A.Hammy: it’s getting annoying

Leelee: lmao fucker Herc’s a femboy: Woah we have a new person 😳😳😳        Macaroni Fxcker added ***-***-**** to Anatomical Lasers Macaroni Fxcker: Look, james Macaroni Fxcker: I won’t stop until you stay Seabunny: Yeah!! I tried leaving a bunch of times before but I was never able to leave :>!! ***-***-****: Whatever, I give up. I have things to tend to, anyway. Baguetteroni: Like what        ***-***-**** is now offline. A.Hammy: damn jefferson A.Hammy: you made him mad lmaoo Macaroni Fxcker: I didn’t make him mad >:((((( ______        Macaroni Fxcker is now online. Macaroni Fxcker (5:43 PM): Jamesss are you alive?? Macaroni Fxcker (5:49 PM): Hellloooo??        A.Hammy is now online. A.Hammy: smh A.Hammy: cant you just dm him or some shit Macaroni Fxcker: I feel lonely right now so no >:(( A.Hammy: you’re overdramatic Macaroni Fxcker: You’re a cold blooded tiger shark, idiot A.Hammy: you frivolous wanna-be movie trope Macaroni Fxcker: Bruh you’re just a fuckinsnasdasdkasdjjjdjksdj,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, A.Hammy: what. A.Hammy: answer me A.Hammy: what the hell were you about to say A.Hammy: bitch Macaroni Fxcker: Whoopsie doodlie i dropped my computer on my face teehee o3o A.Hammy: how the hell do you do that? A.Hammy: actually don’t respond A.Hammy: it’s obvious that you of all people would do that Macaroni Fxcker: Ouch, hamilton,, you wound me A.Hammy: i sure hope i do.        Herc’s a femboy is now online. Herc’s a femboy: Kinky ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Macaroni Fxcker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) A.Hammy: shut the up Macaroni Fxcker: Excuse me?!?!!?1? A.Hammy: you’re excused Macaroni Fxcker: Humph >:| Herc’s a femboy: Lol gotta go Herc’s a femboy: I still need to finish sewing the scarf Macaroni Fxcker: Byeee A.Hammy: bye A.Hammy: have fun

       Herc’s a femboy is now offline.

       ***-***-**** is now online.

Macaroni Fxcker: Omg james it’s been so looong how are youu? ***-***-****: It’s been at least an hour since we last spoke, Jefferson. Macaroni Fxcker: Ugh only seeing numbers as your name is boooring ***-***-****: Numbers are not boring. A.Hammy: they’re not as boring as your mom tho Macaroni Fxcker: aLex we don’t know anything about james mom don’t say that DD:< A.Hammy: chill A.Hammy: whyre you so mad lmfaoo Macaroni Fxcker: >.> Macaroni Fxcker: James james james james change your nammmeee already ***-***-****: Why, exactly? Macaroni Fxcker: Changing your nickname thingie makes it less likely for you to leave!! Macaroni Fxcker: And i wanna know what creative things you can come up with!        A.Hammy has changed ***-***-****’s nickname to loser Macaroni Fxcker: Wtf hamilton A.Hammy: hahh loser loser: Sigh. loser: If you insist on me changing my nickname, then;        loser changed their name to Pluto A.Hammy: wow so amazing A.Hammy: i bet flat earthers love you

Pluto: What a shame, seeing as how you haven’t confessed to me yet. A.Hammy: what the shit no A.Hammy: smh i don’t support flat earthers Macaroni Fxcker: Woah. Pluto: “Woah”? Macaroni Fxcker: How small are you?? A.Hammy: i swear if you’re taller than me i’m going to kick you into next wednesday Macaroni Fxcker: I meant height btw Pluto: I’m 5’4. Why is this information necessary? Macaroni Fxcker: omg A.Hammy: i Macaroni Fxcker: omg omg omg you finally found someone shorter than you hammy A.Hammy: don’t fucking call me hammy Macaroni Fxcker: Hey, pluto Pluto: Yes? Macaroni Fxcker: Welcome. you have officially joined this group chat! we should celebrate Pluto: Thank you, I suppose. A.Hammy: yeah, welcome A.Hammy: i sure hope you enjoy your stay A.Hammy: because you aren’t getting out of here alive Pluto: I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.

[minimenace]

Felix live thoughts:

i still don’t get why gabriel, who is known to wear his ring, is polishing both his and emilie’s rings

nathalie smiling at gabe aww

WAIT DOES ADRIEN SHIP NATHALIE AND GABE???

WAVE WAVE

its been a year???

cat song from chat blanc

sitting together, bonding time??

gabriel: i need to tell adrien im hawk moth and its for the greater good - the greatest good id ever get - emilie’s ass

adrien: oh dad i know

gabe: wHAT??

adrien: yeah...you and nathalie  👀 im cool

gabe: YOU FUCKER DONT DISGRACE YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT

not that adrien knows his mom is even alive smh

gabe, you can’t expect your son to be all hopeful when there’s nothing he knows of to be hopeful for

gabe: bitch get ready cousin you is coming

1 year since emilie ‘went for cigarettes’

adrien: healing  😌

gabe: 

marinette’s first act as class president: class meeting!!!! (plus luka and kagami) we need to cure adrien of his depression

adrien is hallucinating his mom isn’t he

wait it’s his mom’s twin isn’t it

IT IS

amelie and emilie huh

gabe is not “NO get out”

grouch kitten time!!!

felix getting hugged: bitch...fine ok

so felix and adrien’s favorite game as kids was Parent Confusion huh

gabe: how dare you shake my hand

felix: how dare you not shake my hand

so gabemilie wedding rings were from her family

emilie’s maiden name was NOT agreste...bitch no im DYING with this headcanon

felix whats to know what the FUCK is up with kyle gabriel

marinette...no...do not tell your crush you’re in love with him when you’re trying to console him about his missing mom

ok slightly better

bitch you’re still recording

is this gonna be another copycat where marinette tries to get the phone to delete the message

wait this is LITERALLY another copycat

YES TIKKI GET ANGRY

“I’m really sorry I didn’t come to your dad’s funeral” OH BITCH NOW I GET WHY HE HATES YOU

explains why they’re wearing black

felix with bryce’s voice hits bad

he needs kousei arima...max mittelman...pLAGG

“you do everything your dad tells you to” “oh well yeah you know”

do do do do-dUUHN

adrien and felix used to challenge each other in chess...nerds

plagg: “you’re cousin is being sus BUT HE TOUCHED MY CHEESE THAT UNFORGIVABLE”

plagg: *points out adrien’s mother is* adrien: *gets sad* plagg: oh baby fuck im so sorry

felix i know adrien is complete dumbass but you cannot call him an idiot!!!

wait is felix gonna find out marinette is ladybug because she was recording for so long

wAIT IS FELIX GONNA TRY TO SET UP MARINETTE AND ADRIEN BY DRESSING UP AS ADRIEN AND SEDUCING LADYBUG SINCE MARINETTE IS SUPPOSEDLY LADYBUG

probably not lol

felix fuck you im the only one allowed to make fun of nino’s dudebro accent

felix bby youre not building a good case for yourself by making fun of my babies

also bryce is trying to do a lower voice and he just sounds dudebro

wait is felix gonna rip chloe a new one

YES felix and chloe knew each other

the one time chloe is being genuinely nice for no discernable reason and felix is like “fucker”

well with the season finale we know it doesn’t matter

...annoyinG

FUCK

marinette time bitch lets see what happens im scared

ok thats mean

the writers are trying very hard to make me hate felix but joke’s on them, i’ll never hate anyone on this show

no joke i used to hate theo and call him a pedo and now i’m like “aww poor baby”

wait where is theo i havent seen him around

ok he deleted the videos so immmmmmmmmm hmmm

felix getting ready to cause havoc

ok luka is kind of a joke

*strums guitar* im supportive. this is my personality.

i cant really be mad about felix sending that mean message but adrien deserves to be a feral kitty

fel-ien: i renounce all my friends y’alllll SUCK

me: ...

calls out chloe specifically: NO THATS MEAN but true

marinette: there’s no way adrien can be mean he’s an absolute...aNGEL (how does that meme go)

i mean she has a point because he’d never call chloe out like tHAT

lila spying for gabe seems to be a good thing but im concerned about what gabe will be doing with this video

oh ok they knew it was felix

nathalie: so uh...sir...now’s a good time to um...akumatize some vulnerable kids...

gabe: ok amelie lets see how you feel about THIS akuma attack

gabe getting people to go chase down your “son” is still going to inevitably hurt your son

im fairly certain that max and kim know marinette is ladybug at this point 

*announcer voice* and in the confusion, reflekta, lady wifi, and princess fragrance were deakumatized because they couldn’t figure out who to be mad at

WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE FAKE ADRIEN they all shout. “idk what do you think” says adrien 1 to adrien 2

adrien: *starts acting all mean*

punishers: IT MUST BE HIM

nathalie: STOP IT ADRIEN

punishers: wait who

adrien: muwahauwah i wonder who I could BE AJAHAHAHA

felix: bro why the fuck are you covering for me

nathalie get your grove on

hawkie: bitches Y’ALL THAT FUCK ASS IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU

felix: ha...no?

felix: oh well...KONO FELIX DA- LET’S FIGHT

istg if felix has his own miraculous

ladybug saves fel-ien

fel-ien: i love you

activates “smooch”

marinette: *has flashbacks to spook-drien* uhhh no

felix you’re being very menacing about this kiss

ok... i feel like marinette going “NO MEANS FUCKING NO” is a brownie points moment just the entire structure of the scene...also she has no reason to suspect adrien is not adrien, so the punching is just...intensely weird to me

this also feels like astruc trying to be like “FELIX IS THE OPPOSITE OF ADRIEN WHO IS A PERFECT GENTLEMAN AND RESPECTS WOMEN AND THEIR BOUNDARIES” when like um i dunno, adrien ALSO tries to kiss women (ladybug) without their consent but those moments are always treated as comedy so you’re not being very slick with this scene

side note; idk why when a male morally dark end character gets into a fight or something with a girl very one goes “THAT’S SEXIST”, like basically what you’re saying is “you can’t hit girls” which in itself IS sexist. everyone can be punched. don’t fucking hold back.

side note; you shouldn’t punch ANYONE

“You’re not Adrien, he would never be so pushy!” *looks at chat noir* uhhh....

i mean good deduction skills tho? i still think it’s pretty hastily and badly written

adrien is fucking OUTING his cousin lmao

i feel like there was pre-existing tension

felix: is actually ashamed for once

FELIX VISION

lb: great!!! now break the tablet felix: bitch this is some good fucking money i aint breaking it

felix and lila are the moth gang

hawk moth: why felix: uncle give me your fucking jewelry

felix: manipulate the situation...and profit

that has got to be the GREATEST defeat ever...truly lucky

felix looks like he thinks that he’s going to jail

adrien: dude wtf amelie: ...his dad- felix: no dude that was pretty fucked up, ill own up to it

“i hope to become a better person and see you again soon!” this was one concentrated bad incident but yeah ok

FELIX GOING FOR THE HUG

the tone is making me think this is supposed to be inauthentic and he doesn’t mean it but im hoping this isn’t the case.

but if it is genuine, it sounds like there’s a tacked on “learn to be better- from you” which like, yeah adrien is better than felix we get it but you don’t need to emphasis adrien as a model dude when he’s like tier 1 good guy. he’s decent. lmao.

wait felix has always been wearing a ring i didn’t notice

awww felix and gabriel made up.

wait

what even happened between them to begin with.

huh

adrien: aw sHIT CUZ WAIT gabe: nO DAVIC

adrien: if you need to talk in here felix: thanks

astruc: see he’s morally superior

did felix just gift adrien some expensive cheese lmao

felix: hey i feel bad, i replaced your cheese

adrien : *records message to thank everyone and says “i love you”* marinette: *obsessively plays back the “i love you”*

marinette: ill take what i can get

FELIX DID YOU UST FUCKING STEAL THIS MAN’S WEDDING RING I MEAN I KNOW HES MORALLY QUESTIONABLE IF NOT DESPICABLE BUT YOU’RE NOT MUCH BETTER YOU KNOW

so felix really is a magician huh

i feel like him and jean duparc would get along

oh so there’s history behind the rings?

“where it belongs” everyone hates gabe huh. wuh happened

gabe why are you taking your wife’s ring

it’s like he needs that thing to function

the ring: why you so obsessed with me

is it like an anti-nathalie charm or something

gabe: bitch get it together yOU’RE MARRIED, YOU’RE WIFE IS DOWNSTAIRS

the beef is, probably like all things, related to the miraculous

HAPPY END OF THE SEASON!!!!!!

[thirsty-pixie]

Serendipity

Crowley X Reader

Part 2

Sam and Dean were put in charge of me by my mom as her dying wish, she made them swear to protect me with her dying breath. We met sam and Dean on a hunt that went south, my mom ended up getting stabbed by a wraith. But that was 6 years ago, and the boys came to think of me as a sister.... except the awkward kiss Sam and I shared. It was about a week after my mom died and we were drinking in the run down hotel room, we kissed for like a second then Sam immediately got up and left my room. We never have and never will speak of it again, I lived with them in the bunker but I wasn't allowed to hunt anymore. I stopped hunting after I was nearly killed by a shapeshifter, after that I was demoted to research girl.

I got out of the shower and threw on a tank top and my grey spandex shorts before sliding my feet into my slippers and heading down the hall. I ran my fingers through my wet (h/c) hair pulling it up into a messy but before opening the archive room doors. I was in the archive room looking for looking for a box when I heard a sigh, I got scared because I was supposed to be alone in the bunker. "Is someone there?" I asked my voice shaking "yes its casper" a sarcastic voice answered back from the other side of the shelves. "Who are you?" I felt around the shelf looking for a way to get to the other side. "Grab the shelf and pull." I did as the man said and opened up the wall revealing a man sitting cuffed to a chair in a demon circle.

I walked into the circle and sat across from the man, "so who are you?" I now realized why Sam and Dean never allowed me in here. "I'm Crowley the king of hell" he tried to sound intimidating but I just laughed, "you dont look like the king of anything" he looked at me annoyance in his eyes. "You're almost as vexing as moose and squirrel." His accent sent a shiver through my body, I leaned onto the desk resting my head on my hand and smiled. "Yeah I try but I'm a lot cuter than Sam and Dean" Crowley folded his hands on table and laughed "someone thinks highly of themselves."

He raised an eyebrow as he spoke a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

I stood up from my chair and walked to the back of his chair examining the chain the was attached to the metal collar around his neck. "They really don't want you to escape" I ran a finger over the metal before walking back to the desk. I looped my finger around the chain attached to the cuffs pulling them up to look at the carvings "wow you must've really pissrd them off" I giggle and sat on the desk leaning back on my arms. He leaned towards me with a smirk, I watched as his eyes skimmed over my body and stopped on my thigh. He hooked his finger under the edge of my shorts pulling them up to expose the rest of my anti possession tattoo. "They made you get one of those hideous tattoos too?" I smacked his hand away and pulled my shorts back down to where they were.

"Actually, I got this before I met the boys" I couldn't tell if I was irritated with him or turned on by him so I turned my head away glaring at the wall to avoid his stare. "I don't know why moose and squirrel have me here probably for information but they haven't really come back down here since they chained me up" I looked back over at Crowley who was looking down at his cuffed hands. My heart melted a little at how sad he look, "how about I come visit you every night" he looked up at me and smiled. He opened his mouth to say something but a slam came from upstairs, we both looked up then looked at each other.

"Y/N!" I heard Sam yelling from upstairs causing me to jump off the table, "I was never here". I pushed the chair back to where I found it and walked to the shelf, before pushing the shelf back I smiled at Crowley "I'll come back". I pushed the shelf back into place and ran to my bedroom closing the door behind me quietly. I threw myself on my bed and pretended I was asleep, I heard someone open my door amd walk kkup to my bed. "Wake up Y/N, we got fried chicken and beer" my pillow was ripped from beneath my head and smashed onto my face. "Oww fucker." I sat up and glared at Dean who was holding my pillow and laughing. I pushed him away from me and snatched my pillow from his hands, I tossed it onto my b7ed and left my room. Dean and I walked to the war room where Sam and Kevin were talking about the tablets, "what's up noobs". I grabbed a beer and a piece of chicken before sitting down, "What's new with the tablet?" Kevin looked up from the tablet with a look of annoyance "theres still a few parts I cant get". I looked over at the paper with the symbols... 'pshh as if I could even begin to translate' I thought to myself before leaning back in my chair.

~~~~~~~

Dean was walking out the door on a quick hunt that Castiel had called about, I ran up the stairs hugging Dean around the waist. "But you just got back" I looked up at him and pouted, he hugged me back with one arm before rustling my hair "I'll be back its probably not even a case.... I'll be back before you know it". And with that he left, I glared at Kevin who mumbled something about being clingy. Sam left walking towards the archive room, him and Dean talked about asking crowley about the symbols. A few moments later Sam returned to the war room with an annoyed look on his face, "Grab the paper Kevin and let's go" Kevin stood up grabbing the page of unreadable symbols and walked after Sam. I stood up following Kevin but a palm hit me in the forehead, "no I don't want you involved in this stuff" Sam had his arm extended stopping me from following. I slapped his hand and huffed "I'm coming weather you like it or not im not a child" I walked passed Sam following Kevin who was stomping down the hall.

We all stood in the room with Crowley Sam stood bent over the desk glaring at crowley with his hand on either side of the sheet of paper. Kevin stood with his arms crossed in the corner and I stood leaning against entrance of the shelves arms crossed watching them. I smiled and gave Crowley a small wave, he smiled back and winked at be causing my cheeks to grow warm. I looked away knowing my face was turning pink, I heart flopped with each word he spoke as him and Sam negotiated. They made a deal where Crowley would translate the symbols in return for a phone call, so sam and Kevin left the room to go get some supplies.

I walked up to the table and looked at the paper "What do they mean" I picked up the paper holding it close to my face before setting it back down. "It's about a ritual Metatron did with Castiels grace" he watched me as I examined the symbols "mmmh lame..." I leaned onto the table and smiled at Crowley "on a different note.. why does Kegin hate you so much" he shrugged looking at the cuffs like as if he was more interested in them than me. "I made him think I killed his mom when in fact shes quite alive" a devious smile dance across his lips as he spoke, "that's pretty messed up." I frowned before standing up to look st the door Sam and Kevin had returned with the supplies they needed. "What's messed up" Sam asked as he walked up to the table, Crowley and I made eye contact for a moment before i turned to walk out of the room "Dont worry about it Sammy" I left the boys to finish their business.

~~~~~~

I had been going down to visit Crowley every night for about a week and a half, I stayed a little longer each night till one night I stayed till 6 am. I had fallen asleep while talking to Crowley,I was woken up by him tucking my hair behind him ear and kissing my temple. "You might want to head to your room darling. I'm hate for squirrel and moose to catch you in here alone." I stretched forward groggily groaning loudly. "I dont wanna" I sat there with my forehead against the cool metal of the table trying to bring myself to leave the room. I stood up and walked to his side of the table "I guess I'll go..." I bent down to give him a kiss on the cheek then I left the room and heading to my bedroom.

"I'll be back Kev" he responded with a middle finger and a fake smile "bring me back some soda" I gave him a thumbs up and headed to the garage. I hopped in my truck and drove to town, I walked around the liquor store for about an hour before I finally found the bottle I was looking for. On the way home I took the long way enjoying the drive, it had been the first time I've been out of the bunker in weeks.

I pulled into the garage parking in my usual spot before heading to my room. I hid the bottle of Johnny Walker in my desk and went out to see Kevin. I expect to see him sitting in the war room hovering over the tablet as usual, but this time there was something different. Kevin had dried blood on his shirt and he seemed tense. "Kev? Whys there blood on you" I approach him cautiously setting the soda in front of him. "I paid a visit to Crowley to get some answers" I tried to act nonchalant as I walked away but as soon as I was out of sight I took off running.

I burst through the door seeing Crowley beaten and bloody and a sledgehammer laying on the ground in front of him. I knelt down in front of him placing my hand on his cheek pulling his face to look at me. "I shouldn't have left Kevin alone" he gently touched my forearm "it's not yours fault. I'm the one who pissed his off, to be honest I've been a huge ass to that kid" I sighed at his words before gently grabbing his hand. "Its still not right" I heard the door open behind me but before I had a chance to stand up Sam and Dean walked in

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Stay Ch. 16

Master List

Pairing: Natasha X Reader (Female)

Summary: You have a gift, the ability to see other people’s innermost secrets. For years you used it to gather intel for the highest bidder when you take on The Widow. After she becomes more than a mark the two of you spend years stealing moments. Post snap you wait in your designated meeting place, look back on the sordid past you share with the woman you love and hope against everything that she’s still alive.

Warnings: Angst, and fluff, and feels oh my!

A/N:  So yeah I swear I wroth an authors note for this... but idfk what happened. 

ANYWAY! Thank you all for being so patient while I got my life together. This one is also short and sweet (guess that’s the mood I’m in). However, y’all should know me by now. This is just the calm before the storm. 

Hope you enjoy this one my pumpkins! 

Tags are open!

@mywinterwolf  @disagreetoagree  @breezy1415  @peachthatdrinkslemonade  @5aftermidnight@jeromethepsycho  @marvel-randomness  @daniellajocelyn  @katecolleen  @yanginginthere@wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @lesbian-girls-wayhaught @siriuslycloudy2

March 2007

At some point in the last five months, you’d stopped recognizing yourself. The woman in the mirror wasn’t Y/N. Her hair was different, down to even the eyebrows. Her accent distinctly that of a life long Londoner. She worked for an independent UK couture fashion magazine, chose wine over whiskey, and was distinctly heterosexual.

When the chance to work this job requiring deep cover came up in December you jumped on it. You didn’t want to be you anymore. The you that couldn’t be with the woman you loved. The you that was heartbroken. The you who was beginning to doubt that you’d ever be happy. Fuck her.

Being Charlie Daniels was far better. She was, of course, a real person. Just one who was now living comfortably in the Bahamas courtesy of MI6. Even legit agencies had use of freelance talent every now and then.

Settling into her life had been easy. Not setting her boss on fire or blowing his brains out daily was a different task altogether. Turned out that a magazine was a great front for a crime empire. Lots of international travel, young and beautiful and desperate men and women, money exchanged in countless untraceable ways, on and on. And this fucker was happy to take advantage of every single disgusting avenue it opened up.

You almost had everything you needed to hand to MI6, get your obscenely large payout, and get on to another gig while they threw all of these bastards into cells to rot for the rest of their miserable lives. Just one more trip. After whatever horrible things they lay out in Tokyo you’ll be set.

Tokyo is one of those cities you can lose yourself in. Like New York but better for its interesting balance of vibrancy and grounded reserve. You absolutely love it.

The whole point of the trip, at least on the surface, was to focus on Fashion Week Tokyo. Honestly, there was a part of you that wished this was your world. Nothing but runway shows and after parties. Writing about the latest trends rather than delving into the inner workings of the worlds miscreants

Oh well. It was nice enough to pretend. You had to admit that you’d miss Charlie Daniels once you shed this skin in a couple of weeks.

You’re sitting two people down from your boss at an underground show. The level of security here screams that there are other things going on behind the scenes but it’s still a room filled with a who’s who of the Japanese and international fashion communities.

This was your third show of the day, and you knew there would be a party after where you’d have to schmooze all while plucking information from your unsuspecting fellow guests. You’re exhausted. So rather than pay much attention to the show you let your mind wander.

When she walks out you feel her rather than see her.  Slowly you turn your head to stare dumbstruck at the model walking onto the catwalk. Your heart begins beating against your ribs, your mouth goes dry, your hands shake.

It takes every ounce of control you have to keep your emotions in. To not scream “Natasha!” at the top of your lungs. To not grab her and run for the hills. Charlie Daniels and her easy life be damned. It’s hard but you manage.

As she turns and comes back down, passing now closer to you, her eyes don’t graze  the crowd at all. Head up, shoulders back, she walks the runway like she’d been doing it for years.

The rest of the show is maybe ten minutes but it feels like years. You know the models are all attending the party. Eye candy for the high end guests.

It’s fairly easy to ditch your coworkers in the crowd as you try to find the best vantage point in the room without being too obvious. After a solid twenty minutes, you find yourself planning an escape route. Most of the models are milling about but she’s no where to be seen. You will find her.

But you know you can’t skip out just yet. At the bar, you order a red wine and make yourself seen. Charlie would never miss the whole party after all. You spend a bit chatting with designers and a few models, feigning interest in the whole thing until you hear your boss call out to you.

“Oy, Charlie!” Carl’s voice alone makes you want to put him down. When you turn he’s waving you over to the bar. Sighing heavily you head over.

You’re about ten feet away when you see her, head back laughing at something Carl or his friend had said. Both men are far to close to her for your liking and the hungry look on Carl’s face sets your blood boiling.

He slings an arm around your shoulders and you carefully coach your face to not show disgust. “Charlie here is my best writer. Doin’ some pieces for us on this whole thing,” he waves his other hand around wildly.

“Good to meet ya, Charlie, I’m Dan,” the other man, clearly American says.

“Likewise,” Natasha doesn’t react to the accent at all.

“This here is-”

“Natalie,” Natasha cuts him off, extending a hand to you. Holding her eyes with yours you take it. It’s like touching a live wire.

“Natalie is an American model working here in Japan. May be a good topic for a piece.” He ribs you leaning closer, “And a good piece for the office eh?” Suddenly that MI6 money seems far less appealing.

“I’d love that,” Natasha beams. “Why don’t you guys go mingle and Charlie and I can chat!” The men exchange a glance, but there’s plenty of fresh meat around to sink their teeth into.

Carl flashes you a greasy smile and a wink as he walks away. Thinking clearly that you’re going to snare this woman for him. You, unfortunately, had a few others. Not something you were proud of. Demands of the job you told yourself.

“She’ll take a vodka neat,” you tell the bartender.

“Yes,” Natasha smiles at him, “Whiskey for her. Makers if you have it.” He thinks nothing of it and makes your drinks.

“So, how’s modeling in Japan?”

“Probably about as good as writing for a sleazy jackal.”

You laugh, “That bad? What’s the goal.”

“Getting a cover,” you commend the clever word play.

“That’s a good goal. Long term?”

“Something like that.” She takes a sip of her vodka, “How long are you here?”

“End of the week.” Your skin itches to touch her. The men are rounding back. You hold her gaze and shift your eyes back to them. She catches on.

“Perfect! It’s so hard to have a good interview here, don’t you think?”

“Absolutely. Why don’t you come by my hotel?” You whip out your spare key card. “I’d love to get your story for the mag, maybe do a full feature.”

“A feature would be excellent exposure!”

“Wouldn’t it?” Carl slides up next to her. “We can get you all the exposure you could want Ms. Natalie.”

“Charlie was telling me all about it.” She flashes him a coy smile. “Thank you so much Charlie! I forgot I have a late fitting tonight for another show so I’ve got to run. But we’ll chat soon yeah?”

“Absolutely! It was so good to meet you Natalie.”

“Same! Bye!” She hurries through the crowded room and disappears.

“Busy girl.” Carl quips. “Whiskey?” You look down at the glass by your hand.

“Some guy sent them over,” you gesture to Natasha’s lipstick stained glass. “Seemed rude to refuse. Can’t stand the stuff though.”

“That’s a mans drink,” Carl laughs at his own perceived joke and you force a smile.

Somehow you make it through the rest of the evening. You’d refused to allow yourself to hope that she’d be here, too obvious to come the same night, better to wait. Kicking off your shoes you head straight to the mini bar and crack open a whiskey, downing it in one gulp.

“You really need to be more careful,” Natasha’s voice comes from the bathroom. “I mean not even checking around. Sloppy.”

“Charlie Daniels doesn’t have to check for Russian assassins in her bathroom,” a smile pulls your face so tight it hurts.

“Well, Natalie Rushman isn’t a Russian spy. So…”

You let your real accent resurface as you pull her into your arms, “Natalie Rushman, I don’t know if that’s clever or lazy.” She kisses you hard, tongue sliding over your lips hands gripping your ass.

“Mmm,” she hums. “Kinda like the accent.”

“Oh?” You revert to the clipped posh Londoner sound. “Would you rather be with Charlie? I hate to break it to you, she’s strictly into dick so you may need to get a bit creative.”

Natasha’s head falls back with laughter, “I’m always into a challenge but,” she cups your face in her hands, “I’d much rather Y/N, she’s got a cute accent too.” Your kiss is soft this time, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, honey.” Gently you push a strand of hair out of her face. “Is this smart? Are you gonna get-”

“I’m good. I wouldn’t be here if I thought there was risk.” She pulls away and tugs you toward the bed. “There’s no surveillance on me here, I check in every week, that’s it. This is strictly to build a cover.”

“Cover for what?” She gives you a sideways glance. “Right. National security.”

“Do you really want to talk about work?”

Smirking at her you push her back on the bed. “Maybe later.”

You lean down to her but she stops you by planting a strappy heel in the center of your chest. Trailing your fingers down her leg you snag a knife from her thigh holster. Carefully you slide the blade under the straps, the incredibly sharp edge cuts through the thin suede like it’s nothing.

“Those were very expensive you know,” eyes sparkling with desire.

You slip the shoe off and toss it aside. “I’ll buy you a new pair.” Your lips press against her ankle.  

Everything in your life until her was so fleeting. Even your own name, the sound of your own voice, who you were… But with her, you were grounded. You weren’t anything but her’s, you were Y/N.

Suddenly you’re overwhelmed. Caressing her muscular calf you just stare at her eyes. Emerald green, dark liner, lids heavy with lust and exhaustion.

“Natasha…” Your voice cracks and you fight for composure.

“Y/N? What is it?” She shoots up, cradling your face in her hands.

You shake your head, unable to really find the words and unwilling to send this storm of emotions to her. “I just…” You cover her hands with your own. It’s not that you don’t want her, you do. But…

“Can we just… I just wanna hold you…” Her expression immediately softens, eyes sparkling a touch with tears. “Sorry… I… I just…”

“I’d love that, baby.” Tenderly her lips brush yours, then your cheeks, your forehead, your eyelids as they flutter closed.

You shed your clothes and crawl into the plush bed. Holding tight to one another you spend hours drifting in and out of sleep, covering the other with soft kisses. Before the sun rises your hands wander southward.

This time you don’t fuck one another senseless. It feels like you’re trying to memorize every curve, every sound, every subtle thing that marks being together. You both know you many not get to do this for some time. The knowledge aches but it doesn’t make having her any less sweet.

Post Snap

You lean your head back on the wall behind the booth. The crying man from last night is gone, you find yourself hoping that he’s resting peacefully somewhere… even though you know it’s pointless to hope for such things.

There are more people filling the bar than there was before. The TVs are off, radios turned up, reporters frantically trying to determine what happened. It was global, that was clear. All planes grounded, trains stopped, communications spotty due to damaged cell towers.

A man speaks frantically to someone who seems to be a friend that he was heading to Nuremberg from Budapest, how the roads are almost not navigable. He doesn’t know if his family is even still there but he has to find out.

Despite his distress, your lips curl a bit at the mention of Budapest.

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.09 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Choni ❤️❤️❤️ But “stealing from.the rich to give to, well, us” what? Cheryl… YOU’RE RICH. Give some of the money to the Serpents They need it a bit more than you do baby. BUT BITCH THEIR FIRST I LOVE YOU I’M—

- Five weeks of the quarantine… that would have made an INCREDIBLE story line? Seriously? It would have been amazing to see Sweet Pea being temporary king while Jarghead and FP were gone. But no… let’s just skip the good part? What the fuck kinda writing skips.a great plot?

- “All physical contact must be kept to a minimum?” um… literally WHY? There’s literally NO reason for that to be a rule? Also fuck off Moose no ones likes a tattle tale and we all know that you’re slumming it up with Kevin after school so leave my babies alone. Oh. it’s for the seizures? Really? Dude SEIZURES ARE NOT FUCKING CONTAGIOUS YOU STUPID FUCKERS OH MY GOD. Stop trying to keep then gays from being cute!!!!!!!

- The RROTC made the rules? Dude they don’t run the school lmao that’s NOT HOW THINGS WORK

- JOSIE SINGING!!! MY BABY VERONICA!!! UGH FUCK ME UPPPP

- VEGGIE. VERONICA IS LOOKING AT JOSIE’S INCREDIBLE SINGING WHILE REGGIE IS AWING AT VERONICA I’M—

-  Ew and then my mood is ruined by bughead waking up 😷😷😷

- Betty put all of those girl’s… in HER house? THE COOPERS CAN BARELY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES LET ALONE THOSE GIRLS. Also don’t they fucking have families? And yes, Betty, that scream definitely would wake up your mom because they have those motherly instincts and they’d think their child was hurt, so ofc she’s going to wake up.

- They want to play… G&G… are you kidding me? I kinda get that it makes them feel better because that’s how they had it in SOQM but still WHY? JUST PLAY CLASSICAL MUSIC OR SOMETHING AND TAKE A BATH.

- Of course Jughead goes from his horrible leadership to “I left you too long” stfu right now your priority is the Serpents and who’s dealing the drugs (although I know who and uhhhh leave them alone he has to stay alive somehow)

 - They don’t even have an elected Sheriff yet? WHY? SHERIFF KELLER DIDN’T DIE DID HE? THEN FUCKING REINSTATE HIM??? IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD YOU STUPID FUCKS

 - “Maybe that means that Archie could come back home” wE KNOW YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM BETTY. Barchie!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

- Reggie ❤️❤️❤️ WOAH WHAT NO LEAVE HIM ALONE? HE ALREADY GETS ABUSED BY HIS FATHER! But aw Ronnie gets to take care of him I’m—

- Hiram really is trying to hustle his daughter wow so uhhh he does know that his daughter is the incredible Veronica Lodge, right? She’ll find a way lol we all know the queen can do everything

- “Has anyone ever told you you’re a badass?” Wow Reggie is so fucking into her I’m just 😭😭

- If Vegas gets hurt RAS will LITERALLY DIE.  I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND I’M NOT READY FOR THIS. Also there’s no way Vegas wouldn’t have seen or heard the bear behind him but sure whatever. ARCHIE JUST BC SHE’S ZONING OUT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T HEAR HER. JUST DO WHAT SHE SAYS JESUS. Also how convenient that it suddenly doesn’t work.

- “They imprinted on me” Betty NEVER say that again that was gross as fuck. “But as their queen, they are your responsibility, not mine” bitch Betty can’t be a queen no matter how hard she tries, and she (nor Jughead) know how to take care of anyone but themselves so… Alice unless you want Betty to end up killing them, this is where you, as the mom, undermine her and take them to the farm. Of course I don’t trust the farm but it’s much safer than the Cooper house hold because they have the resources to spare, the Cooper’s don’t.

- Hey here’s an idea… since you can’t get to Hiram using the nuns because they took a vow of silence (cowards) then maybe… just maybe… OUT IT AS A CONVERSION THERAPY HELL SITE AND USE THAT INSTEAD? But we know Betty doesn’t want to save the gays so 😷😷

- I love Josie’s singing but why is she singing in an empty lounge? REST HER VOCALS.

- I used to love Hiram’s evil-ness but now he just shows up all the time and it’s getting annoying. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD END THIS FUCKING PLOT SO VERONICA CAN FOR ONCE GET HER OWN STORY THAT BETTY DOESN’T TAKE, THAT DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND HER FATHER OR A GUY. SERIOUSLY. They have so much potential with literally any other character but still decide to force Bughead and their separate characters down our throats. Like at this point honestly just kill them both off Jesus Christ

- Jughead… this is a gang… they’ve always sold drugs? At least, weed, but still? You have to take into consideration that you were gone, and they were placed under quarantine, and they needed money. You can’t blame any of them for dealing with Hiram you whiny piss baby. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

- God it bothers me that Jarghead is such a lowsy king. When do we get Sweet Pea overthrowing him? pLEASE WE NEED IT SO TONI CAN LEAD BESIDE HIM. Maybe Swangs (even though I know what happens) and Choni can co-lead the Serpents

- Cheryl speaking facts! AND MY BOY FANGS. Jughead had NOTHING to say to Fangs and FP had to step up and cover for Jughead, because he was right. What else are they supposed to do? Gangs are supposed to do bad shit? Jughead has done ultimate horrible shit and suddenly he’s going to act like a gang is supposed to be clean? Jughead do your research that is not what gangs do. Also, if FP is going to be at every fucking Serpent meeting maybe he should, you know, take his spot back. He’s a MUCH better leader than Jughead, even though I’d prefer it be one of the founding members like TONI FUCKING TOPAZ or something.

- I love how no one really does the “in unity there is strength” thing. Like, they know they’re being lead to slaughter basically and FP is just letting it happen. Also, they’re running the gang into the ground. There is no more unity because JUGHEAD’S STUPID POWER-HUNGRY ASS ISN’T DOING SHIT TO HELP THE GANG. Also also Betty looks so out of place and awkward there. Can’t wait for Archie to come back and for her to realize that he almost died and then realize she can’t live without him and that she loves him and finally bughead can split for good and barchie can rise

- If Veronica paid why the FLYING FUCK did they go after Josie? FucK OFF HIRAM

- Polly you had to say his name. LEAVE MY BOY ALONE.

- FANGS CRYING STOP STOP STOP MY BABY BOY NO NO NO

- “We could’ve helped you” JUGHEAD YOU LITERALLY JUST BANNED CRIME. THE SERPENTS HAVE NO MONEY WHAT ELSE WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO? Also they can’t get mad at him bc this was before Jughead got back and did the stupid crime law like a hypocrite

- DUDE FANGS DID THIS BEFORE THE FUCKING RULE YOU STUPID FUCKERS? LIKE??? DO YOU HAVE NO BRAIN CELLS?

- Oh Jughead has one brain cell left? I know he ends up being cancelled but he’s not… yet.

- CHONI BREAKING IN AND STEALING SHIT YES BITCH

- Why is Archie hallucinating playing G&G? Like doesn’t this mean he’s playing by himself? The fuck?

- Dead ass Cassidy telling Archie it sounds like his fault that all that happened, you can tell that this is Archie’s mind because he always blames himself for things that have nothing to do with him. Because we know that it’s definitely NOT his fault. None of it is.

- Cheryl just HAD to kiss the picture

- JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. MY FANFIC IS COMING TO LIFE. JUGHEAD AND THE SERPENTS PROTECTING VERONICA YASSSSSSSSS

- I’m mad that they didn’t have Joaquin not actually die. Like, Sweet Pea and Fangs were close to him? They could have faked his death like what the fuck

- YES WE LOVE AND STAN LAWYER MCCOY

- How did Jughead know that Toni was involved? Cheryl was the only one who left a stupid calling card.

- THE TEARS WELLING IN TONI’S EYES STOP STOP STOP

- But he can’t fucking kick her out she’s literally a legacy. This crusty white boy needs to sit the fuck down

- Okay one, Cheryl why would you bring Fangs back into it? THE FUCK. Also, Jughead you can’t be disappointed in Fangs for telling SP even though you said not to tell anyone—best friend’s never count. 

- SWEET PEA STANDING UP. FANGS CRYING. “Some leader you are” YES FANGS WHAT A KING. SWEET PEA BBY OH MY GOD

- “And the rest of us don’t get to go back to Thistlehouse” says the disgusting whiny piss baby who gets to sleep in his girlfriend’s house, in her comfortable bed while his gang lays in cots or some shit in tents. Get off your mighty high horse, Jughead. God, now they’re switching roles… Betty is kinda becoming SLIGHTLY tolerable and now Jughead is being so fucking annoying. Go back to how it was please.

- JERONICA. AND VEGGIE. EXCELLENCE.

- So Archie standing over Hiram and shit was all a fucking dream? Really? COME ON. Lol Hiram has a point though because everyone goes in and tells him their fucking plans. OMG THE CALLBACK TO THE FIRST EPISODE WAS GREAT. CALL BACK TO BARCHIE BEING ENDGAME YESSSS.

- So if Veronica ended up smashing the egg… then fucking give Fangs, Toni, and Cheryl their spots in the Serpents back since it was all for nothing anyways.

- I’m glad Cheryl and Nana Rose are housing some fo the girls but WHAT ABOUT THE SERPENTS YOU GUYS HAVE A BIG FUCKING HOUSE. Why didn’t she house some of them there? I mean it’s ooc for Toni not to be thinking of her fellow Serpents why wouldn’t she be like “hey babe you have a lot of room here what if we help house some of the Serpents” but uhhh apparently not.

- Hey FP shut the fuck up with this “she’s still a Lodge” shit because you all know she doesn’t associate herself with her parents anymore. Remember “you don’t have a daughter” or…?

- Jughead brought up when FP worked for Hiram. Hell yeah! But him saying he wants Jughead to be a better king than him? BITCH YOUR SON DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO RUN A GANG. HE SUCKS. HE’S STUPID AND RUINING THE GANG HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT? God never give your throne to blood family.

- Yeah, FP, you’re not made for the sidelines you’re made to RULE you stupid fuck. Maybe you should get back with Alice she makes you more stable and less stupid

- REGGIE’S LIKE “NOT THIS TIME BITCH”

- SWEET PEA WITH A BAT FUCK YEAH

- So… you threaten the gargoyle bitch but you don’t unmask him to see who he is? Are you fucking stupid?

- Wtf… he has to beat himself with a bat on his own bed? I am confusion… WHAT THE FLYING FUCK? THE BLACK HOOD AND HIRAM AND THE GARGOYLE KING HAVE DONE SHIT NOT YOU YOU BIG BAFOON. NO DON’T DESTROY YOU’RE GOOD HEARTED INNOCENCE. YOU’RE THE ONLY BRAVE ONE OF THE CORE FOUR. ARCHIE NO.

- If they make Archie unlikable the only good core four person will be Veronica.

- VERONICA SINGING ❤️❤️❤️ Oh fuck I know this song but I can’t remember where I’ve heard it!!!

- VEGGIE. SHE’S SO FUCKING HAPPY TO SEE HIM I’M— HE’S SO ENAMORED WITH HER. VEGGIE KISS. Why can they make their chemistry shown on screen but Bughead can’t? Like both couples are even dating irl, too…

- JUGHEAD YOU PIECE OF SHIT. He only uses Sweet Pea or Fangs when he has something he doesn’t want to do usually because it’s too dangerous for him (whiny piss baby). DON’T MAKE MY BABY BOY GO UNDERCOVER HE’LL FUCKING GET HURT.

- I’ve literally never hated Jughead more nothing he can do can make up for what he’s done in this episode bye

- What the actual fuck. This is so fucking stupid.

- Archie isn’t dead. If Archie dies before bitch ass Betty or Jiggaloo Jones I will literally come after RAS. 

[littlelovelymemes]

✰  —  —  *  MORE POPULAR TEXT POST STARTERS

‘  when i figure out how to die without hurting my mom’s feelings it’s over for me, bitches  ’ ‘  420 stands for “4got 2 0pologize”  ’ ‘  all millennials do is commit minor felonies and be gay  ’ ‘  hoodies are one of the most powerful and underappreciated articles of clothing. cold? put on a hoodie. raining? put on a hoodie. no bra? put on a hoodie. nothing to wear? hoodie. cripplingly low self esteem? you already know. so versatile! so multifaceted!  ’ ‘  i thought christmas was like… next friday or something its in like 3 days fuck  ’ ‘  if you’re not in love with me by 00:00:00 jan 1 then just block me. i don’t need that kind of energy following me into the new year  ’ ‘  who needs ghosts? haunt your own house. wander around your own living room wailing and crying  ’ ‘  my kink is not opening messages and pretending theyre not there  ’ ‘  u know when ur growing out of phases and mindsets but u haven’t found where exactly ur shift in identity is going yet? that’s tonight’s mood  ’ ‘  me @ me: don’t start buddy don’t you dare  ’ ‘  there are people you haven’t met yet who will love you  ’ ‘  god knew what she was doing when she made bruno mars short if he had been tall he would be too powerful  ’ ‘  motivation? haven’t heard of her in years how she doin  ’ ‘  Do you think people with LED headlights know that everyone hates them? Like…really hates them in an oddly personal way? Do you think they know?  ’ ‘  and the final mood for 2017 is: you know those days where you’re like, this might as well happen?  ’ ‘  putting more importance into self care, spirituality, love and peace of mind. start with stretching and deep breathing.  ’ ‘  dont forget to tell someone you love that you love them, thank people who deserve to be thanked, be more patient on people having a hard time, be more considerate, understanding, and be kinder, always.  ’ ‘  do you think in the 1700s there were people who were like nah man Mozart’s a total sellout I only listen to peasants beating things with sticks it’s way more authentic  ’ ‘  2032 is gonna be my year just u wait  ’ ‘  I want a “I made a playlist for you” typa love  ’ ‘  @ 2018 the bar is literally so low  ’ ‘  Just because you don’t look like somebody who you think is attractive doesn’t mean you aren’t attractive. Flowers are pretty, but so are sunsets and they look nothing alike.  ’ ‘  i have a “why am i like this” moment at least five times a day  ’ ‘  very sad to hear about donald trump. nothing happened to him i’m just sad to hear about him  ’ ‘  *me, eyes wide open at 3am* what happened to chandler bing once he got to yemen  ’ ‘  tonight’s mood is the deep desire to be held close in a dimly lit room, covered in blankets while rain is softly falling outside  ’ ‘  do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”  ’ ‘  i guess im just too fucking dumb to lucid dream. cant ever realize im in a dream, i’ll look around me like damn i’m in my old elementary school and my teeth are falling out and im naked? well shit guess this is my life now. got fooled by my subconscious again lads  ’ ‘  u ever get no sleep and the next day ur body functions like the tumblr app  ’ ‘  you ever wonder how many people you’re in the “we’re friends but i would kiss you if you asked” club with  ’ ‘  is anyone else just going through life like “yeah i just gotta get past this last difficult week and then it’s smooth sailing from there!” but like… every week  ’ ‘  The only thing toxic that you should still be in contact with is that song Britney Spears made, because that song is lit.  ’ ‘  imagine if you named your kid dad. just dad.  ’ ‘  take care of yourself, please. i don’t know what id do if anything happened to you.  ’ ‘ crazy how personal growth can make you let go of people you swore you couldn’t live without.  ’ ‘  im in no position to have high standards but it doesn’t stop me  ’ ‘  you can start over at anytime. your day is not ruined. your world is not over. take a deep breath. start over.  ’ ‘  I’m gonna have a bomb ass life and I know it cause I’ve suffered so much and I know that wasn’t for no reason  ’ ‘  you ever just get in bed and ur like yep this is where i’m meant to be  ’ ‘  an unstoppable force (my love of books) meets an unmovable object (my lack of a desire to actually read anything)  ’ ‘  i just have this persistent feeling of “i’m not doing enough” combined with “i don’t have the energy to do anything” and it just really fucking sucks  ’ ‘  sorry I haven’t replied to ur texts I’ve been overwhelmed by literally anything that’s ever happened or will happen  ’ ‘  me when i see a wild animal in a metropolitan area: reclaim your space, we are the invaders, retake what is yours  ’ ‘  no offense but money would solve literally every single one of my problems. like all of them. i dont have a single problem that money wouldnt immediately solve  ’ ‘  i am not enough and it’s eating me alive  ’ ‘  what do u mean “what have i been up to” … i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch  ’ ‘  always remember that love will always come back to u. in a different form, different person, different hobby, different touch. but in any way, love will always come back.  ’ ‘  The struggle between me wanting to be successful and me wanting to lay in bed 24/7  ’ ‘  If you play “Feeling Myself” by Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé at exactly 11:58:50 pm on New Year’s Eve, Beyoncé will say “World Stop” in 2017 and “Carry On” in 2018.  ’ ‘  Self care is putting absurd amounts of parmesan cheese on your pasta  ’ ‘  you ever just like “wow that’s my voice? people listen to this clown on a daily basis?”  ’ ‘  ravioli ravioli give me a reason to live  ’ ‘  finally worked up the courage to tell the starbucks girl she was beautiful and i only puked twice  ’ ‘  do i wanna know??? no. but thank u monkey friends  ’ ‘  hey this is kinda ns.fw but i wann h*ld your h*nd  ’ ‘  talent: overthinking  ’ ‘  have you ever had that feeling that you really wanna workout to get a flat stomach… but you also just wanna eat pizza and watch netflix.  ’ ‘  if you google eyebrows are you eyebrowsing  ’ ‘  *skips tutorial* how the fuck do you play this game  ’ ‘  Literally heard a convo at the library where a guy was telling a girl that he’s an omega and the girl telling him that she’s a beta, and my mind just did not automatically connect the context to fraternity pledge classes at all and I just whispered to myself “what the fuck?? What the fuck??”  ’ ‘  my hands? ready to be held  ’ ‘  Catch These Hands! with your hands. we’re holding hands now. this is nice  ’ ‘  kinda weird that u can think about someone as much as u want and they have no idea  ’ ‘  physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll  ’ ‘  I would rather wander around a store for 9 hours than ask an employee where something is and this I do not understand  ’ ‘  my childhood, or, as i like to call it, the general abyss with one or two memories attached to it   ’ ‘  i know ‘gay’ isn’t an emotion but let’s be real,,,,,,,,,it kind of is and i feel it 24/7  ’ ‘  babe get ready for a night on the town, i just found an old Subway gift card and there’s still $9.45 left on it  ’ ‘  just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined  ’ ‘  i’m the person who’s 100% down for spontaneous adventures but also 100% down to lay in bed all day. i’m on both ends of the spectrum  ’ ‘  this year has changed me more than I ever thought it would.   ’ ‘  it’s ok to disappear for a lil while and get your shit together.  ’ ‘  if you wanna love me hmu  ’ ‘  calling me baby makes me so freakin weak  ’ ‘  i’m that one guy on spongebob always screaming about his leg  ’ ‘  remember to drink a fucking shit ton of water every miserable day of ur life  ’ ‘  i just want someone who’s excited to make out with me and text me all the time.  ’ ‘  never apologize for your giant dogs getting overexcited, if i get taken down by a 100 pound mass of fluff then that’s how i go.  ’ ‘  when i figure out how to die without hurting my mom’s feelings it’s over for me, bitches  ��� ‘  THIS GUY JUST ASKED ME WHAT MY NAME WAS AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT HE SAID SO I SAID 4:45  ’ ‘  my blood is glow stick juice. thats why all my bones crack when i move.  ’ ‘  are cute dates and rough sex too much to ask for  ’ ‘  honestly, my goal in life is just to be a very warm person. i want to be as loving and as kind as i can be.  ’ ‘  just a small dumb bitch…. living in a lonely ditch  ’ ‘  you’re not selfish for wanting to be treated well  ’ ‘  when y'all fake conversations in your heads do you sometimes say random sentences out loud too? i was just tying my shoes and said very sternly and loudly “i DO know how ants work, fucker”  ’ ‘  true space facts: if u look up there it is  ’ ‘  anyone else bummed they have 2 sleep alone tonight and uh not in some1s arms  ’ ‘  how am i sensitive and a bitch at the same time  ’

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

2

==>

When you arrive at Roze’s apartment, you fizzind ha asleep on tha cizzouch. Boo-Yaa! Yizzay slizzide tha balcony door open, quietly.

JOHN: Death row 187 4 life. roze?

Eyes flutta open. She lizzooks lizzy a gizzy, and niznot the kind of ghiznost that lizzooks n acts exizzle like an alive person. It dont stop till the wheels fall off.

ROZE and my money on my mind: How yaba daba dizzle... hiznow long have I bizzay sleep'n?

JIZZY: i dunno. i jizzy gots here.

JIZZLE: be you ok?

ROZE: I’ll be fine.

JOHN: that looks like a lot of pills you’re taking there.

ROZE: Yizzy. It’s not what yizzou’re cruisin' though.

JOHN: what be i think'n?

ROZE: Theze be controlled substances that have been prescribed by a legitimate doctor ta ease tha sizzy of mah condition. I be cruisin' them only as instructed.

JOHN paper'd up: ok? Im crazy, you can't phase me.?

ROZE now pass the glock: So there’s nuttin ta worry 'bout.

JOHN: but yizzle said yizzy have a condition. Death row 187 4 life. isn’t that...bad?

You watch ha rize 'n stages now. Ha arm be spendin' where she’s brac'n it on thizze couch.

ROZE: Oh. Yes. Tha condition itself be not ideal, obviously. N pizzles it does constitute sum-m sum-m ta worry 'bout, 'n tha context of a different convizzle. Listen to how a fucker flow shit. All I’m stylin' ta sizzle be, I’m not backslid'n, if that’s what you’re frontin'.

You spend sevizzle pregnant moments say'n crack-a-lackin` at all 'n responze ta dis. You examine Rose’s supine, languid form on tha ciznouch, optimistic thizzay sizzy wizzle contizzle speak'n any mizzle nizzow.

ROZE, better recognize: I struggled wit substance abuze fo` a while, years ago. Rememba cuz its a thang?

JOHN: roze, jesus. i wasn’t dippin' ta accuze you of bein a drug addict, n i didn’t fly ova hiznere ta give yiznou an intervention. Subscribe, get yo issue.

JIZZY: it soundizzle like yiznou had some important stuff ta tiznell me, n tha fact that you also seem ta be sizzle is more thizzan a shawty alarm'n!

ROZE: I wouldn’t sizzay I’m sick.

ROZE: Just hav'n spectacularly debilitat'n heezeeaches as a result of mah vizzles becom'n M-to-tha-izzore frequent.

JOHN: oh Y-to-tha-izzeah. Snoop dogg is in this bitch.

JOHN: what be theze visions you’re hav'n? I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier.

ROZE: I’m a Sea of Light, John.

JOHN: i know.

JIZZAY: so you mean like, yo' standard pizzy visions 'bout the future n stuff?

JIZNOHN: whiznat’s go'n ta happizzle? Bounce wit me. S-H-to-tha-izzould we be worry so sit back relax new jacks get smacked?

ROZE: It dizzoesn’t technically pizzle ta tha futizzle. Wizzy, not our fizzle.

ROZE: Mah abilities have broadened considerably beyond they previous horizon fo gettin yo pimp on. They shed light on mizzle unseen evizzles. P-to-tha-izzast, present, future, 'n realities and frizzles of reference that hizzy no intersection wit ours at all.

ROZE: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. It seems ta be an unfortunate side effect of gizzle tia abilities. They cizzle advance at a rizzay beyond one’s physical ability ta keep up wit fo all my homies in the pen.

ROZE: Fortunatelizzle it dizzoesn’t seem ta be happen'n to anyone otha than me.

JOHN upside yo head: yeah, cizzan’t siznay i’ve noticed anyth'n like that.

JOHN: or improvement 'n mah powa fo` that matta.

ROZE cuz its a thang: It’s not 'bout gain'n additional powa, so much as tha gradual stylin' of tha boundaries between yo' own awareness and that of yo' mizzle doomed selves who perished 'n otha timelines.

ROZE: It’s a sizzy n apparently ratha uncomfortable accretion of knowlizzle. Perhizzles I’m the only one ta notice any C-H-to-tha-izzange, sizzince mah aspizzle explicitly relatizzles ta knowledge.

JOHN: i guess tizzy all makes senze.

JOHN: so whiznat be theze visions perpetratin' you?

RIZZY: Mizzle th'n. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. Thizzay quite disjointed, n sometimes hizzay ta rearrizzle into coherence.

R-TO-THA-IZZOSE: But 'n totality, I have pieced togetha a greata understand'n of our present situation and all tha events that lizzed us here, ya feel me?

Yizzle watch Roze crazy ass ta ha feet n C-R-to-tha-izzoss the apartment so bow down to the bow wow! At tha kitchenizzle, sizzy knocks back anotha pizzay witta practiced mizzle, no brotha. Ha vacant sizzy drizzay into tha countertop as she quietly waits fo` tha medicizzle ta takes effizzle. Bounce wit me.

JIZZOHN: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'.  droppin hits...n?

RIZZOSE: N what?

JOHN: whiznat be it 'bout our situation that yizzy wanted ta T-to-tha-izzell me?

JIZZLE: be it bad?

ROZE: Good n bad be words thiznat dizzay mean crack-a-lackin`, beyond a certain threshold of mortal consideration.

ROZE: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. There’s a different scale I’ve C-to-tha-izzome ta understand. Drug deala dichotomy that’s less... emotional, I G-to-tha-izzuess?

ROZE: Consida, instead of tha wizzord “gizzle,” us'n tha wizzord “essentizzle.”

ROSE: N what exists at the opposite polizzle fizzy essential be...

ROZE: Sum-m sum-m that be best not ta contizzle.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: what be you talk'n abizzle?

JIZZY: dis sounds fucked up cuz I'm fresh out the pen.

ROZE: Yes, that sizzounds like a reaction yizzy wiznould definitely hizzay ta tha th'n I’m tell'n yiznou wit da big Bo$$ Dogg.

ROZE: I really should ciznut it out, n just start from tha ridin' so jus' chill.

You follow Roze ta tha balcony. Shizzay raizes a hand n piznoints directly into tha clear blue sky. She pizzoints wit purpoze, as if ta say, there. Right there, precisely, be whizzere tha green sun would be, if it stizzay exizzle.

ROZE: Tha green sizzay is gizzay aww nah.

JOHN: whizzay??

ROZE: It has been destroyed. At least, from tha current frame of reference it has keep'n it real yo.

ROSE: It still existed, n therefore in a way that’s hizzay to explizzle, currently exists, poser a nearly infinite spizzle of time, ridin' thizzle birth n death of countless univerzes.

ROZE: Bizzay dis univerze, our univerze, be not one of thizzem.

JIZZLE: you saw this 'n a vision?

ROZE: No. Jade told me.

JIZZLE: she did? Im crazy, you can't phase me.

JOHN: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. how does she kizzy?

ROSE: She C-to-tha-izzan’t drizzaw from its crazy ass anymore like old skool shit. She no longa hizzas tha ability of a F-to-tha-izzirst Guardian like this and like that and like this and uh.

ROZE upside yo head: It has been dis wizzy fo` several years. I suspect she has kept dis F-to-tha-izzact on tha downlow, wanna be gangsta.

JOHN fo yo bitch ass: that’s...

JOHN: Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. surprising, i guess fo' sho'?

JOHN fo' real: or maybe nizzot. i dunno, it’s nizzy liznike shizzay tizzells me a W-H-to-tha-izzole liznot theze D-to-tha-izzays.

ROZE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: It’s also not L-to-tha-izzike she’s had any particulizzle nee' ta unlizzle tha fiznull fury of tha grizneen sun, not while she’s been sippin' around wit D-to-tha-izzave n Karkat unda whateva sizzle arrangement they hizzle settlizzle on. Chill as I take you on a trip.

ROZE: Anyway, ha account of tha sun’s destruction syncs up wit tha dizzle supply by mah visions. I have no doubt it’s gone.

JOHN: how did tizzy happen and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow?

ROZE: It doesn’t gangsta much, fo` our purpozes.

ROZE: Thiznere wizzay a cataclysmic evizzle. A suicide sizzy by a vizzle powerful bein. Much lizzike tha one Dizzy and I attemptizzle, once upon a time cuz Im tha Double O G.

ROZE: But it turnizzle out tha explosizzle force we releaze' wizzay onlizzle a catalyst. Drop it like its hot. A causal gizzle. Snoop dogg is in this bitch. What was needed to destroy tha siznun was a consumptive assault.

JOHN: consumptizzle?

ROZE: The entire sizzay was swallizzle by a supermassive black H-to-tha-izzole.

ROZE fo yo bitch ass: I digress though. Shut up.

You press yo' eyes sizzy, jizzay fo` a moment. Subscribe, get yo issue. Behind tizzy you sizzle a black H-to-tha-izzole so supermassizzle that it spans tha width of eternity.

You quickly opizzle yo' eyes again, n pretend ta forget what yiznou just saw.

ROZE: There’s reallizzle no route through dis exposizzle garden path thiznat will adequately cushion yizzy from thizzle bottom lizzy, John aww nah.

ROZE: You will nee' ta travizzle back into canon n defeat Lord English.

You...

> Shrug n try ta lizzay casual. Keep'n it gangsta dogg.

You pull off tha most casizzle shrug thizzay a homey has eva shrugge' when bein presented wit tha inevitizzle of his own fizzy. If Roze were messin' at you rizzle nizzay, shizne wizzay be totally convincizzle that yizzy be trippin' dis topic witta level of nonchalance that be entizzle plausible n genuine. You’re S-to-tha-izzure of it.

JIZNOHN: yizneah, i had a feel'n thiznat was go'n ta come up again somedizzle.

ROZE: I’m sure we all did. That be, evizzle thoze of us witout visions.

JOHN: i was do'n mah bizzy nizzay to think 'bout it. i gizzle we can’t put it off any longa then?

ROZE: Now be tha time. We be rapidlizzle approach'n a point of no return. If tha decision isn’t made S-to-tha-izzoon, it wizzle be too late. Tha issue will no matta.

JIZZY: when exactly is tha point of no return?

ROZE: Todizzle and cant no hood fuck with death.

JIZZAY so you betta run: wow. You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: ok then.

JOHN: F-to-tha-izzirst, one questizzle yeah yeah baby. um...

JOHN: why? They call me tha president.

ROZE: Whizzle what cuz Im tha Double O G?

JOHN: whizzay do i nee' ta go bizzay n beat hizzay?

JOHN: i mean, sorry if dis is a stupid question. i guess he’s a huge awful monsta, and that’s just what you’re suppoze' ta do wit huge awfizzle monsta. takes them diznown fo` they crimes, and such.

JOHN: bizzy why does he actizzle nee' ta be defizzle at all like this and like that and like this and uh? ta be honest, it’s been years since wizne’ve even bothered spendin' 'bout anizzle of dis, n everyth'n sizzay...

> Takes a lizzay around n survey tizzy currizzle status of all life on Earth, which be totallizzle pizzle ta do frizzle tha vantage pizzy of a single apartment balcony.

JIZZOHN: fine with the S-N-double-O-P?

ROZE to increase tha peace: Of courze everything be F-to-tha-izzine here.

ROZE: W-to-tha-izze’re outside of canon now.

JIZZLE: yeah, i kniznow. whizzle does that actuallizzle MEAN thiznough?

JIZZOHN: be yizzay frontin' dis isn’t really chillin'?

ROZE: Of courze it’s weed-smokin'.

ROZE: Jizzy coz cizzle events takes pizzy outsizzle of canon, it doesn’t mean thoze events be non-cizzle fo' sheezy.

JOHN: oh.

ROZE: 'n gangsta wizzords, there be an impizzle distinction between events which cizzay be considered ta occizzle inside canon, outside canon, n thoze wizzy be not canon at all.

ROZE if you gots a paper stack: Tha day we went through thizzle dizzy n clizzle our reward, we passed a threshold between contizzle mizzle by differ'n degrees of relevance, truth, n essentiality.

ROZE: Bounce wit me. Thoze be tha three pillars of canon.

JOHN: wizzy?

Roze shoots yiznou an irritated look. You kniznow wizzy tizzy lizzay means, chill yo. It’s reservizzle fo` tha sort of bozo whizzay just sizzle “what” once tizzay oftizzle with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin.

ROZE: Anizzle event siznaid ta takes plizzay inside cizzle will hizzave nonzero values of relevance and essentizzle, wizzy rhymin' an absolute foundation 'n truth, by definition.

ROZE: Tru. Whizzles events outsizzle canon have dimizzle values of relevance n essentiality. Snoop dogg is in this bitch. Or, fo` the most pizzle, can be considizzle baller relevant niznor essizzle at all.

ROZE: But such events can’t be sizzy ta be untrizzle eitha ya feelin' me? Instead, it’s betta ta regizzle they truth valizzle as highlizzle conditizzle.

ROZE: Be you sizzy following fo' real?

> Say “oh, yizzle. totally.”

JOHN: oh, yizzy. totally.

ROZE cuz its a doggy dog world: So ta be clear, frontin' thizzay tizzle place here on Earth C sizzle we exited canon can be considered completely irrelizzle, n fo` tha mizzy part, absolutely inessential. Yizzet none of it can be called untrizzle. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome.

ROZE: At lizzay, up until precisely today. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn.

JIZZY: ok.

JOHN: then what does non-canon mizzay?

ROZE: Events that be formally non-canon have no truth whatsoeva, by definition.

ROZE: They mizzy hiznave relevance n essentiality values that be nonzizzle, or even qizzy high, biznut only as projections alizzle an imaginary axis, result'n friznom highlizzle subjective frames of reference.

ROZE: But due ta thoze events hav'n no tizzy, n thus carrying no real wizzy, tha otha propizzles be basically rendizzle meaningless.

You can fizzle yo' eyes go wizzay as tha gears in yo' heezee slow ta a stop. Im crazy, you can't phase me. The implications of W-H-to-tha-izzat Roze be say'n be as vizzy as they be completely incomprehizzle. Yo' mizzy has jizzle been BLOWN.

ROZE: John in tha dogg pound?

ROZE: Are yizzle okay? Yo' pupils have gone qizzuite wide, thereby facilitat'n tha appizzle T-H-to-tha-izzat yo' mind hizzay just been blown.

JOHN, ya feel me? sizzle, i’m J-to-tha-izzust try'n ta wrizzay mah heezee arizzle dis.

ROZE: Yizzy of all thugz rizzle should have a good intuitive grasp ova theze concepts already.

ROZE: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. You’re tha one wit tha retcon drug deala, brotha all.

JIZNOHN paper'd up: i know with the S-N-double-O-P!

JIZZLE: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. like, i mostly git it. i think.

JOHN: i jiznust wizzy have thought ta put all of dis 'n such a jargony way.

ROZE: Sorry. That’s kind of whizzay I do.

JOHN: it’s fine spittin' that real shit. i’m just a bit rusty be all.

JOHN like a tru playa': it feels like it’s been so long sizzince i did, or even thought 'bout... anyth'n T-H-to-tha-izzat matterizzle at all fo' sheezy.

ROZE, better recognize: Yes, tha pimp we live outside of canizzle, tha more tenuoizzles our relationship wit canon becomizzles hittin that booty.

ROZE: Hence tha urgency fo' real.

JOHN: thizzay whizzay saggin' ta happen if we keep dragg'n our feet?

ROZE spittin' that real shit: I mentionizzle T-H-to-tha-izzat events outside cizzle have a T-R-to-tha-izzuth value that tizzy ta be conditional, bitch?

JOHN: um fo' sho'.

ROZE: Wiznell, I diznid cuz its a thang. Biznut lizzle me put it anotha way.

ROZE in tha hood: As lizzay as we live outside canizzle, everyth'n that happens wizzy technically be “real,” biznut only conditizzle. Anotha dogg house production.

ROZE in all flavas: There be certain crucial evizzles inside canon which must happen 'n orda to continue ta prizzay up thizzle legitimacizzle of events here on Earth C.

ROZE: N you specifizzle, Jizzle, have a responsibility ta make sure thoze events takes plizzay. Drop it like its hot.

JOHN: I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. n i takes it that means go'n back n cappin' lord english yaba daba dizzle?

ROSE: Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. Yiznes.

ROZE: Chill as I take you on a trip. His defeat be the kizzle ta dis entire continuity.

ROZE: Much like his life, in S-to-tha-izzome sick way, governed tha overall design of tha briznidge which that keystone was hold'n up in tha hood.

ROZE droppin hits: Bizzut witout it, all of dis falls apart. Everizzle th'n we’ve been through, 'n a wizzle thiznat’s impossible fo` a single miznind ta fully comprehend, becomes retroactively discredited.

JOHN: so like a tru playa'... reality will be destroyed, or sum-m sum-m droppin hits?

JIZZLE: Slap your fuckin self. hasn’t that alrizzle S-to-tha-izzort of happened?

JIZZLE: i mizzle, whizzay all tha S-P-to-tha-izzace started ballin' wit da big Bo$$ Dogg?

ROSE: No, dis conseqizzle isn’t physical, or even a disruption of tha timeline. It’s mizzore of a conceptizzle unravel'n.

ROZE: If you miss tha chance to authenticate canizzle evizzles, sum-m sum-m will takes pliznace tizzy a bit difficult ta describe, biznut I’ve encountered a term fo` it.

ROZE: It’s called “dissipation.”

ROZE: Like, a notional fad'n. As if sum-m sum-m, somewhere, be undergo'n a prizzles of “forgett'n,” n we be what is be'n forgotten.

ROZE: All ideas, thugz n they F-to-tha-izzull potentialitizzles, possible outcizzles n they specifizzle unfold'n, all theze slappin' live inside conscious frameworks.

ROZE: Tha further removed we git from authentication of canon events, tha lizzy relevant T-H-to-tha-izzey become, n they slowly fade frizzle tha conscious framewizzles which kizzle thizzle stable. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house.

> Make a theatrically startled expression.

JIZZOHN: ok, i guess we dizzle wiznant THIZZLE ta hizzle dogg.

JIZZOHN: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. or... unhappen. One, two three and to tha four. whateva.

JOHN so you betta run: so i J-to-tha-izzust retcon-poof back ta english and start like...

JOHN: brawl'n with the dude?

ROZE: Don’t be ridiculous. You wizzy lizzle a secizzle dogg.

RIZZAY: Yizzy nee' a team.

ROZE: You gotta check dis shit out yo. Also, you don’t want ta just dive heezeelong into a bizzay wit his hulk'n adizzle fizzy. That wizzle be tactically fizzle, n furthermore, W-to-tha-izzould skizzay rappa some very important steps needed ta authenticate canon. One, two three and to tha four.

JOHN: Im a bad boy. like what paper'd up?

ROZE cuz its a doggy dog world: I mentioned that English’s defeat was tha keystone ta tha continuity. Bizzut dis be an oversimplifizzle.

JIZZAY: yikes. W-to-tha-izzell, we S-to-tha-izzure as fizzy W-to-tha-izzouldn’t wizzay ta simplizzle anyth'n.

ROZE: John, pleaze D-to-tha-izzon’t be a bizzle now. I’m unwell, rememba?

JIZZLE: sizzle.

RIZZOSE: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. Tha tizzy keystone, W-H-to-tha-izzich be a necessary component of his defeat, be tha juju. Subscribe, get yo issue.

ROZE: Tha house-shapizzle object you stuck yo' hand 'n ta gain yo' retcon powa, ya feel me?

JOHN: oh yeah. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome.

ROZE: Wizzy empty, it resembles a gap. Like a hizzole 'n canon, whose only purpose is ta be fillizzle spittin' that real shit.

ROZE so show some love! 'n weed-smokin' thizzay purpoze, it grizzants one wit tha radicizzle canon-alter'n powa thizzle wizzle be needed ta fill it wit da big Bo$$ Dogg.

ROZE yeah yeah baby: Once fillizzle, it becomes solid like a fucka. No longer a gap, but a serviceable, load-bear'n wiznedge 'n our continuity. They call me tha president.

ROZE: Lizzay a kizzle.

ROZE: N once delivered ta Englizzle n directed his wizzy, it empties itself again, releas'n its messin' payload. It functions as a weapon, and 'n sizzy manna will cruisin' 'bout his demize.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: 'n S-to-tha-izzome shot calla? One, two three and to tha four.

ROZE: It’s a complicatizzle artifact ridin' in mah double R. As old n unfathomable as anyth'n elze in Paradox Space, like tha green sun, or English himself. Don’t worry 'bout it fo` now.

ROZE: Tha important th'n be that, in tha due cizzay of yo' travels, you end up load'n n unload'n dis wizzle.

JOHN: Hollaz to the East Side. how be i frontin' ta do that?

ROZE: Once you sizzay slappin' 'n motion, it should jizzay happen naturally through tha narrative momentum of yo' journey. I’m really just warn'n yizzle 'bout it, ratha than instruct'n you.

JOHN: ok cuz Im tha Double O G. thiznanks??

ROZE: Yiznou’re welcome from tha streets of tha L-B-C.

Roze looks at ha phone. You recognize Kanayizzles dizzle typ'n stylizzay 'n tha window. Roze’s thumbs begin ta fly acrizzles tha keypad. She continues ta text as she tizzy.

JOHN: so if W-to-tha-izze’re stylin' ta go bizzay n kizzle him 'n time ta “authenticate canizzle,” i guess we have ta git go'n soon.

JOHN: lizzle today in tha hood?

ROZE and yo momma: Yes. You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg.

JIZZY thats off tha hook yo: be yizzle sizzle yizzay actually up fo` a fizzight though? Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. no offenze, but yizzle trippin' a shawty worze fo` tha W-to-tha-izzear.

ROZE: I’m not go'n.

JOHN: oh.

ROZE, know what im sayin? None of us be. Only yiznou.

JOHN from tha streets of tha L-B-C: whizzle? Hollaz to the East Side.? but you said...

ROZE: Jiznohn, dis be tha victory state.

JOHN: what tha hell does thiznat even miznean.

ROZE: When we went thriznough thizzay door, n pasze' beyizzle tha threshold of canon, we effectizzle retired from bear'n any responsibility fo` influenc'n cizzle events. We’ve all bizzay sort of decommissioned as active playas on tha cosmizzle stage, wizzy severely dimizzle relizzle attributes so you betta run.

ROZE: All of us except fo` you, of courze, sizzay you’ve retained yo' rizzle abilities.

JOHN: ok, i git that. kind of.

JOHN: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. but wit da big Bo$$ Dogg... couldn’t y-aw jizzust come along anyway?

ROZE: We could. Biznut it wouldn’t S-to-tha-izzerve any purpoze like old skool shit.

ROZE: It wiznouldn’t plizzug up tha sippin' dizzle sizzy 'n canon.

ROZE: You’ll nee' a group of active playa. Thoze stizzle stuck inside tha stream of canonic karma.

JOHN, chill yo: who like a fucka?

RIZZY: Nuttin too extravagant. Boo-Yaa! Jizzust different versions of us fo my bling bling.

ROSE: Vizzles, from a particularly dysfunctional impasze 'n our journey. Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay.

ROZE: I can pizzy out thizzle exact moment 'n canizzle you should be disrupt'n, n hiznow yiznou should disrupt it. One, two three and to tha four.

ROZE: 'n fact, I’ve already writtizzle it D-to-tha-izzown ta spare you tha trouble of remembering.

Roze leads you back insizzle n retrieves a letta fizzy ha desk dogg. Shizzle hands it fucka, still steppin' one-handed on ha phone. Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. She sits down n yizzle rizzle tha letta.

JOHN: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your fuckin' dome. huh.

ROZE: Be anythizzle confus'n 'bout mah instructizzles?

JIZNOHN: Death row 187 4 life. no, i poser all dis cuz its a thang. it shouldn’t be a problizzle ta help you.

JOHN: it’s just weird ta think 'bout revisiting dis. it seems like an eternity. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn. like cuz Im tha Double O G... we were all completely diffizzle people back then.

ROZE: I assure you we be all still fundamentally tha same bunch of losa.

Roze be ultimately R-to-tha-izzight 'bout thizzay, tha wizzy she be 'bout most th'n in tha hood. Yizzay continue ta scan tha letta, n grimace slightlizzle.

JIZZY: should i reallizzle punch ha 'n tha fiznace?

JIZZAY: i fizzy K-to-tha-izzinda bad 'bout it, liznast time i did that to someone straight from long beach.

ROZE, ya feel me? Yes. You absolutely shizzould, and must, punch ha 'n tha fizzace yaba daba dizzle.

Yiznou exhale n turn tha papa wanna be gangsta 'n yo' hands. Tha otha side is blank. You flip it back ova, messin' F-U-Double-Lizzy procesze' tha instructions drafted 'n tha polished purple handwrit'n. You like hizzay Roze still writizzles 'n purple, afta all these years. Some th'n wanna be gangsta chizzle yaba daba dizzle.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: alright. dis seems straightforward enough.

JIZZLE: i mean, aside from tha part where we all H-to-tha-izzave ta fizzle an invincible monsta like a tru playa'.

ROZE: He isn’t entirely invincible. He will be vulnerable ta Davizzles weapon. I believe playa gambits should prizzle themsizzles as well.

ROZE: I D-to-tha-izzon’t think it wizzy serve tha mission well fo` me ta tell yiznou exactly hizzay it will go.

ROZE: But at least I cizzay offa dis bit of encouragement. Wussup in the house.

ROZE: If yizzou follow mah instructizzles, English will be defeated.

ROSE: It be an absolutely essential outcizzle.

ROZE so bow down to the bow wow! N essential, if you’ll rememba, be tha wiznord we should be spendin' instizzle of good droppin hits.

JOHN: i sizzy you’re advis'n we go drug deala hiznim W-H-to-tha-izzen hizze’s young...

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN droppin hits: i guess that makizzles senze.

JOHN: Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. go git hizzy before he gets all bizzay n strong.

JIZNOHN: lizzy, kizzind of a surprize attack?

ROZE if you gots a paper stack: Sure.

JOHN: I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. that dude sucks cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: he was messin' me a while biznack.

JIZZLE: like, i think he WANTS me ta come fight him?

JOHN: anyway, i just ignored hizzle obviously, coz i’m not a stupid idiot.

JOHN: bizzay i guess tizzle W-to-tha-izzill be his lizzle day.

Yiznou takes a seat next ta Roze on tha couch.

> Examine.

Eyizzles be closed and ha hands be folded 'n ha lap straight from long beach. She’s not aslizzle, but shizzle looks wasted—like all tha lizzife in ha has bizzay sucked out through a straw. Like S-H-to-tha-izze’s insubstantial. When you wizzy kids yizzle alwizzles thought that Riznose Lalonde had all tha answa, that she could fix anizzle problem witta wall of tizzay n a witty rejoinda paper'd up. Yizzle guess that M-to-tha-izzuch 'bout ha hasn’t change' gangsta style. Shizze’s still trying ta solve tha problems y-aw left behind. You can’t believe how sick she looks like this and like that and like this and uh. How diznid dis happen ta ha, know what im sayin?

JOHN: i should probably git go'n n lizzet you R-to-tha-izzest.

JOHN: we can rap all 'bout it when i git bizzy. i’ll fill you 'n on hizzle it went, hopefully Y-to-tha-izzou’ll be feel'n betta by then.

ROZE: Oh. Um.

ROZE: Yeah like a fucka.

JIZZY: You gotta check dis shit out yo. be sum-m sum-m wrong?

Rose opens ha eyes and looks at you, but she sez nuttin like a fucka. Just lizzy.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: Death row 187 4 life. i’m not scizzle, if that’s what you’re worry 'bout but don't give a fuck.

JOHN: you already said we’re go'n ta defeat hizzim. so, nuttin ta fret ova, right?

ROZE: Yizzay. You... Yippie yo, you can't see my flow.

Sum-m sum-m through ha eyes, almost tizzay quick ta cizzle. When shizzay smiles at you, it’s wizzy n sincere.

ROZE: Tru. You’re bustin' ta do.

Roze slides arms around yizzle so sit back relax new jacks get smacked. Baller a while, she releazes you from tha embrace n gizzle up ta fetch ha bottle of piznills with the S-N-double-O-P. She pauzes at tha bedroom door ta lizzle at you one more time. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T.

ROZE in all flavas: Gizzay, J-to-tha-izzohn.

Shizzay clozes tha door behind ha.

> Look at tha letta.

Yo' rizzay yo' thumbs alizzle tha edge of tha paper. Be thiznis reallizzle it? One hug frizzle Roze n you’re off ta face yo' destiny? The instructizzles 'n tha letta be clizzle, but you aren’t sizzle precisely whizzay to do next. Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. Inertizzle n indecision keep yo' feet plantizzle firmly on tha carpet.

Then, as if directly answer'n yo' quandarizzle, yo' phone buzzes 'n yo' pizzle. It’s a text from roxy hittin that booty.

> Read text.

It sizzounds important. You git up ta go witout evizzle think'n 'bout it. Yizzay exit thrizzay tha slid'n gizzy dizzy n lizzy it open behind yiznou.

> ==>

[cartoonsp1n]

Feelings

Whoops heres my first reddie fanfic (that I'm willing to share with the internet) and my first ever fanfiction on Tumblr so that gives me some kind of excuse. Also there are spoilers. Anyways enjoy. 

read it here if you fancy

Summary: 

Eddie and Richie go on a late night bike ride. 

"Night mom," Eddie whispered to the large woman sleeping on the easy chair. Eddie turned off the T.V she had fallen asleep to, making the small living room completely dark. He made his way up the stairs his fingers gliding across the railing. He opened the door to his clean small room. It was decorated with trains and cars, he had begged his mother for the toy cars and electric trains when he was eleven. She was sure he would choke on the small parts, despite him being grown enough to know not to put things in his mouth. But to Eddie's surprise under the Christmas tree that year was the electric train, with its track. He was also gifted many model cars from his aunts who he was  sure didn't even know his name.

He softly shut his door behind him. The last thing he wanted was for his mom to wake up and lecture him on staying up so late. Eleven thirty was way past his bed time, and he forgot to take his pills, or just neglected to. He turned off his light and got into bed. He quickly closed his eyes, afraid of what might be in the dark. Eddie was dealing quite well with the past events but it was still scary sometimes. He still couldn't stand to think about it when he was. alone. He pulled his comforter up to his chin and fought through his thoughts as he drifted off to sleep. But he was interrupted. There was a noise. Very small and subtle. Something was hitting his window. Its a dream, Eddie. There's no one there. Its over now. He thought to himself. It stopped for a minute, but then it pounded on his window a bit harsher.

Eddie gripped his inhaler and slowly moved his curtains aside to find the source of the noise. He took a deep breath in and put his face against the glass to get a better view. Someone was throwing stones. Eddie furrowed his brow and opened his window as quiet as he could.

"Eddie!" The voice cried out in a whisper yell sort of tone. "Is your mom home? Eds is that you?" Eddie rolled his eyes.

"Go home, Richie!" Eddie yelled trying to contain his smile. He couldn't began to think about how ridiculous Richie's thought process had to be to copy the most cliche romance movies. "You'll wake her up." Then the thought of living in a romance movie grew. Richie would ride his bike to his house at midnight. Just to take him away from his strict, overbearing mother. Ride him away to engage in their forbidden love. They could curse at their unaccepting parents as they kiss in the sunrise. Maybe strip down and swim in the quarry when its light out, and then get out of the water but never put their clothes back on... Eddie blushed horribly.

"Eddie, get your shoes on, fuck nuts, and get out here!" Richie said interrupting Eddie's homoerotic fantasy.

Eddie breathed hastily through his nose and quickly pulled his short shorts over his underwear and laced up his sneakers. He grabbed his inhaler and as quietly as he could he ran outside to meet Richie.

"How's your mom sleeping without me?" Richie smirked.

"Shut up, Richie that one wasn't even funny," Eddie shook his head. "Now let's leave before my mom finds out."

Riche hoped onto his bike. Eddie started walking to his backyard to receive his bike but Richie stopped him. "Pegs,"He said pointing to the pegs on his back tire. Eddie thought about the dangers of standing on the back of the bike, but he knew he had to leave soon or his mom would crucify him. Richie shined his flashlight on the back tire for Eddie to get safely onto the bike. Eddie balanced himself on and hesitated to wrap his arms around Richie's back. But he did. And his grip tightened as soon as Richie began pedaling. Eddie's cast dug into Richie side, but Richie didn't mind. Eddie rested his head on Richie's back as he yawned.

"Where are we going, Richie?" Eddie said tiredly. Richie was quiet for a bit.

"I just wanted to leave my house." Richie's tone implied that it wasn't up for discussion. Eddie said nothing, but Richie understood that that meant Eddie understood.

"I'm surprised you actually came." He softly laughed. "Isn't past your bedtime?"

"Yes." Eddie said matter of factly, "And it's way past curfew, and my mom will probably kill me if she finds out I did this."

"Whats the point of the curfew anyways, nobody has gone missing since..." Richie trailed off.

"Maybe they don't want dip shit kids riding their bikes around town at midnight."

"C'mon, Eds this is fun! I know your pussy life style doesn't allow fun, but its about time you loosen up."

Eddie sighed."Where are we going?"

"Somewhere near the barrens, where no one can see us," Richie smirked to himself.

"What? Why?"

"Because Eddie, we really don't want to be spotted out here and then get our asses busted by our parents." Eddie nodded.

They stopped at the edge of the woods. They hopped off the bike and Richie threw it to the ground as the hurried down the steep hill. Richie shined his flashlight ahead to make sure they weren't going to run into any trees. They stopped near the stream of water that lead to the sewers.

"This brings back memories..."Eddie said looking down at the filthy water. the water looked as if it were black ink rather than water.

"This is where we met Ben right?" Richie asked.

"Yeah... Why were we down here anyways...?" Eddie asked looking back at Richie. Richie tried hard to remember, but just shrugged. Eddie turned back to the inky water.  Richie sat down against a tree. Eddie sat next to him. He shined the flashlight onto the water.

"Are we gonna stay here all night?" Eddie asked. Richie shrugged. "Whats wrong with you?" Eddie asked.

"What?"

"You're being really quiet and its making me like really uneasy?" Eddie said standing in front of Richie.

"Im scared, Eddie," Richie said quietly his gaze still fixated on the water. It flowed with awful memories.

"What?" Eddie shook his head. "Why?"

"You," he simply said. Eddie furrowed his brow. That answer slightly frightened him himself. "Eddie, I- I felt something. I cant explain, it was like a vision or a dream, I don't know. It was horrible. It was like a voice warning me. It was the worst fucking feeling ever. I-I don't know its like Bev said. I could only really remember how we felt. It wasn't a good feeling," Richie had tears falling down his freckles.

"What was it?" Eddie said approaching Richie. "Richie, its okay," He said putting his hand weakly on his cheek. Richie's eyes shot wide open. The touch brought the feeling back. His soft skin burned against his cheek.

"Its back!" He cried out grabbing Eddie's wrist to take his hand off his face.

"What?"

"The feeling! Oh god," Richie said as her threw his hand over his mouth. he dropped the flashlight. Eddie watched in the dark as Richie spilt whatever he had eaten that day. Eddie held back his own gagging.

"Richie, we should go home, you're sick," Eddie put his hand on his back. Richie wiped his mouth and nodded. "Come on. You can stay at my house tonight. I don't really care what my mom says. You need to rest, fucker."

They walked back up to the bike, Eddie held Richie's hand tightly as Richie cried. Eddie had never seen the boy in such a state. He had no idea how to react. He just treated him how he'd like to be treated when he cries.

"Do you want me to drive this time?" Richie nodded. Eddie hoped on the seat and balanced the bike for Richie to stand on the pegs. Richie quickly latched onto Eddie's back. He cried into Eddie's shirt. Eddie tried not to mind. He quickly peddled home.

They snuck inside as quietly as he could. His mother still asleep on the couch. They snuck up to his room. Eddie lead Richie onto his bed. Riche quickly buried himself into his pillow, sobbing.

"Shh. Shh you're okay," Eddie sat at his side rubbing his back. "C-can you tell me what the feeling was?"

"I-I felt, like I lost you," He said trying to recollect himself. "Like forever... Like you- you died," He fell into another fit of tears. Eddie's heart dropped. Died? God.

"It was just a dream, Richie. Look I'm alive!" Eddie smiled. But it was fake. Eddie was actually kind of scared. Richie latched onto the boy.

"Please, don't come back to Derry when we're older."

"But, the blood oath, Bill made us promise."

"Fuck Bill's promise! Wouldn't you rather stay alive?" Eddie felt a lot of terror come over his body. He knew Richie wasn't joking. He could feel his heart go still. He had no idea what to do or say. Richie continued to sob in the boys shirt as Eddie held him in his arms.

"Richie c-calm down, okay." He said as he ran his hand through the other boy's hair. Eddie continued to whisper comforting things avoiding any talk of his death. Richie's tears stopped and turned into soft whimpers. "Are you ready to go to bed now?" Eddie said as he stopped petting the boy. Richie nodded.

They laid in the bed side by side staring up at the ceiling. "Im sorry for spazzing out," Richie softly laughed, but it wasn't a real Richie laugh. He was still deeply afraid.

"Its fine." Eddie whispered.

"Night, Eds."

"Dont call me that, Richie. You know I hate when you call me that."

[thatitch-blog]

I just read the new helmet rule in the nfl. It seems they are trying to forbid players from using their helmets and all when tackling. This os going to change everything. Players now have to be thinking about how they tackle, when they tackle. As someone who once played defensive back, i remember that thinking too much about tackling is what leads to getting embarrassed by someone. It leads to freezing up and arm tackling. This game is going soft. No doubt about it. Would Tom Brady still be playing if this was the game of the 80s and 90s? Absolutely not. You cant touch him now. Troy Aikman had 51 concussions. That is called hyperbole, but he had a lot of them. They hit him helmet right to the head, and other than his obvious disdain for the tampa bay buccaneers, which he makes apparent by openly rooting against them when commentating on their games, none of his post career behavior seems odd.

Soon they will figure out that 300 pound men running into each other at high speeds will never be safe. Will they then do away with pads and make it a touch or flag league? I guess we are going to see more offense since you can no longer tackle people without mapping out your approach, and because ridiculous penalties will keep drives alive. It was agonizing to watch college players being literally thrown out of games and branded dirty players for hits my voach would have congratulated me for making, hits which put ronnie lott in the hall of fame.

Also, as a young fellow playing football, before the now famous missed practice that ruined my entire life until it led directly to the birth of my child, a path i would happy to describe in detail with you over a clear glass of maxwell house, i enjoyed some success on kick offs. I returned a couple all the way, which is my mind, the football equivalent of the home run. The home run is gone in the nfl. There are no kickoff returns. I wouldn't have a place in today's nfl. But then neither would any of the white legends of the 40s 50s and 60s. I could have started in the 40s on any nfl team. They had the same attitude towards lifting weights as me: those are heavy and not at all in my way, why would i go out of my way to pick them up? Shouldnt there be an asterisk by the names of legends of this era which leads to a footnote that reads simply: "didnt play against black people," like all the greats in some other areas might have one nowadays that says "didnt play against malaise (not without holding him down and torturing him first).

Had to get it in, didnt you! This is going to ruin your journalistic integrity

Dr. Sims said not to do this.

Do what?

Split in two, one self judging the other. He said it is a way to slip responsibility for stupid decisions, by pretending to be the one judging the person making the person making the stupid decisions, instead of the person making them, and it can lead to split personalities.

Yes, but you made up dr. Sims. Which was a stupid decision

Dr. Sims: this is precisely what i am talking about.

See!

The point we were trying to make is that football is dangerous. Your kids might get hurt playing it. These fuckers are paid a lot of money, and old age sucks anyway. So you forget to wear pants every now and then, who cares? Beong fully cogniscent as an old person only means you are fully aware of how much life sucks compared to how it used to be. Id rather forget im old and think im still playing the redskins tomorrow. So stop coming up here, james garner, how the fuck did gosling turn into you? Notebook reference, from the female perspective. I am already regretting it.

It was also on a kick off i made the best tackle of my life. I got an angle on a guy on tge sidelines around midfield, so he was going full speed and i was going to full speed, and, helmet to helmet, i knocked him all the way to our bench. My 70 year old physical science teacher congratulated me on it the next day. Really.

Joe buck: and jameis winston got off a nice throw on the run there, wouldnt you say.

Troy: i guess. Buccaneers, should call them the fuckinqueers.

Joe: why the buccaneers? Everytime? Why do you hate them?

Troy: they know.

Dr. Sims: homosexuals, please do not be offended by troy's outburst, queers as it is used here does not refer to homosexuality, it means pussies, wimps, cissies.

Joe buck: yes, but isnt that because of the stereotype that male homosexuals are wimps?

I dont think so

Troy: it rhymes perfectly with buccaneers, fuckin wimps wouldnt

Joe buck: but us it worth it?

Troy: i think so.

I agree

So do i

Joe buck: but youre the same person

Dr. Sims: this is very unhealthy.

Joe buck: jerry markbreit, was it offensive.

Markbreit: i have throw the flag.

Today's pussy ass league!

Cue studio laughter. Show benny hill sexually harassing young girls overend credits to the fun music

Markbreit: blatantly sexism!

Fuck!

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Life After Snowpiercer: End of the Line

Summery- Matts Alive! Curtis is given a choice, learns the truth about the kids, You are attacked, and also still alive! Some non con implied, but all mild. 

Word Count- 5806

Chapter 4 / Masterlist 

Curtis just shook his head in disbelief at the man before him, certainly grown up from the eleven year old boy he knew, but somethings never change. His eyes, Your eyes looking back at him, but they held a bit of coldness in them that yours didnt. “H-ow? What is going on. They TOOK you Matt.”Although Curtis always assured you to hold out hope Matt was alive, he knew the likelihood was not good, but he could have hope to keep you from feeling hopeless. Then after you had healed, accepted that it was a possibility, you still had the nightmares, crying in the dark for your brother, Curtis waking to your sobs and cradling you in close to protect you... of course he couldnt let you suffer like that. But here Matt was, alive.

“Yea, Wilford saved me Curtis from a life of shit. You all did this to yourselves back there. Always plotting and scheming to take control of what isnt fucken yours.” Matt looked his nose down at Curtis, glancing away at Claude and smiling fondly at her. “She knew that I wasnt like that, did you sweetheart?” He caressed the womans face and leaned down to peck her lips. “Nams still alive out there, can you watch over him and his daughter till were finished in here.” She complied with a soft nod, leaving the three men alone.

Wilford cleared his throat. “Oh trust me Curtis, Matt took a while to understand what the truth was. But he came around, didnt you son?” Smiling almost loving at Matt. “He understands what the train needs from him, and Im an old man now, I wont be here forever. You and Matt working together, well this train is my legacy and will continue on forever. With some help of course.” He moved to open a cupboard and Timmy crawled out, Curtis eyes widening at this next shock. Timmy to was alive! The boy just ignored Curtis though and proceeded to go up the stairs, and enter in a car.

“Timmy? What are you doing, get back here?!” Curtis called to the boy, but he merely buckled himself in and whoosh, he was gone. Curtis turned to look at Wilford and Matt “Where the fuck did he go?!”

“Into the engine of course, it builds up crud, and kids like Timmy, they clear it out, also run some of the gears that need help. Reason we need all those kids from the tail end is although the train is self sustaining, the parts wear out. Many have gone extinct, and we have no way to replace them anymore. We ran out of metal for workers to mold. So we need someone who can fit into tight spaces. Gotta be about 4 or 5, you tail enders are always so scrawny. When they outsize, we replace them.”

Jesus fucking christ... how many kids have they taken over the years? At least over 2 dozen. Oh Curtis.... He could hear your sorrow now, it broke your voice, picture the tears streaming down your face as you mourned for all those babies you all lost in the tale end. Curtis growled out “What happens once they age out?”

Matt rolled his shoulders nonchalant like “Well if someone here wants one, they can just take them as there own, or if no one else can use them in there service, we execute them. Originally we were just gonna bring them back, but hell over crowding has started becoming an issue. You all really need to learn more creative fucking methods. What was the term you used the other day Wilford? ‘Like a bunch of god damn rabbits back there?” He chuckled at his attempt of wit.

What the fuck did they do to you Matt?!

They have no idea, thought Curtis, all the people they broke taking the children. The parents weve found that died because it broke there heart, shattered there will to live. How many women in the tail end lived in FEAR, not at the dangers of child birth, but that they might lose there children and can not stop it. How many times you confessed to him that you just couldnt get pregnant, it was just to dangerous to bring a life into all this, although he knew that you want nothing more then to be a mom one day. They had no idea they caused all that pain.

Curtis, they fully know. They just dont care. Your voice flat, the truth.

Wilford shook his head, chuckling “Now now, we need them more now then ever. As I said before, the front end and tail end work together. We provide them with shelter, food and safety, they provide us with necessary replacement train parts and the occasional entertainment of cleaning up the excess baggage the train carries. Already were running smoother then before thanks to The Great Curtis Revolution.” That fucker is was still trying to make that a thing, Curtis could already see you rolling your eyes.

Matt cheerfully turned back towards Curtis. “And I heard that Y/N will be coming  up to the front, since you two seem to be an item now. I say Curtis you will have more options now then just her if you want. Im sure after all this time your getting bored of her. Although I cant say Im surprised about you two, she always followed you since she met you like a little whimpering puppy. How is she anyways? I haven't thought about her in a while till Wilford brought you up. I suspect shes well.”

Curtis brows came together in anger at the mans words, at everything. That was his sister and he talked about her as if she was just a item Curtis happened to have possession of. “You havent thought about her? Your fucken kidding right? That woman constantly thinks about you, every damn day. Everything she does for others in the tail end is in your memory Matt. Even after all these years she has nightmares about how she couldnt save you, She thinks you will hate her because she cant get to you. And you havent thought about her this whole time?!” Curtis started laughing, shaking his head at all of it. Anger just making him snap at this point. “I cant believe im having this conversation with you of all people Matt. Fuck my life, they brainwashed you man. Everything about this.” Curtis waved his hand around and looked back at Matt, the laughter having died, now it was just cold facts he was raging out. “All this, its maybe more messed up then us starving and eating people, we were just trying to survive. You all think your some kind of gods for supposedly saving us and were a fucking game, you cant see why its so fucked up though, can you?!.”

Matt looked appalled over the outburst and Wilford spoke up “God Curtis your so over dramatic, cant you loosen up? Your acting like the fate of the world rests on you. Trust me, you have no control over that, and sounds like a good thing. I doubt you could handle that pressure. Look at you, so tightly wound.” Wilford made a motion like he had gone stiff, shaking.

Matt snorted in anger at the situation. “You act like you all werent happy for me, that it was my fault I earned my place by Wilfords side.” he basically spat out this next line. “That I should even care about what happened to either of you. That I deserved to be in that same shit hole as you? Wilford you really cant be serious about having Curtis be our Minister. He still lives in the old world view, has yet to embrace new world values. We are FUCKING GODS Curtis, make no mistake. Our word is the law on this train. People like my sister, all this for the people bullshit yall preached back there all the time, have no real place here. You both will get it soon enough.”

This was the final straw, Curtis couldnt, he just couldnt deal with the vile they were spewing, the lives they themselves sacrificed to try to kill him, and it was all a game to them, let alone the friends Curtis dragged into danger to get him here. With a twist, he tackled Wilford first, he had a pistol in his robes, it made sense. His right hand reared back and he caught the man unaware. When Curtis fist impacted, Wilfords head snapped back with a gush of blood exploding from his mouth and nose, those iced blue eyes rolled back and yes, it was that easy to just knock his senses askew.

Matt on the other hand had the upper hand, and he tried locking Curtis arms to his side, but a quick whip with his head backwards cracked against Mats face, and he howled out in anger and pain, releasing his hold against Curtis and cupping his face. “Your Fucker! You son of a bitch, I will kill you!” he screamed out. Clearly Matt forgot anything he learned in the tail end, cause he didnt even prepare for Curtis kick of his heavy treaded boots, hitting squarely in the chest and threw him back into the kitchenette.

Reaching wildly, Matt was able to grasp hold of a butcher knife from a black, slashing it so completely out of sync, that as Curtis ascended on him, he ducked backwards quickly when it wildly arched to him and his hand grabbed Mats wrist, twisting and crushing it in his single hand as he drew in close to the man, his hand grabbing his other hand to keep him from hitting him. “I would like to see you try, I came up here expecting alot more then over privileged cum stains like yourselves. Your finished.” He twisted Matts wrist further till he heard a snap, the knife clashing to the metal floor. Matt howled, not one of those cries out of pain, no this was a howl that almost sounded animalistic, he wrung his hand out of Curtis grasp and cradled it to his chest. Wasting no more time, Curtis ended up bashing his head into the overhead cupboards till he felt him go limp, releasing him to the floor. “Y/N, your brothers a fucking dick...” he muttered to himself.

One last issue to really take care of, Claude, she was out there guarding Yona and Nam. He heard her voice from outside of the gate, and going up behind it, he waited till he could see her yellow arm stretch beyond the gate, gun pointing inwards “Mat? answer me hon” and at that moment, Curtis pushed the door as hard as possible, crushing her into the door frame. She yelped out in pain and Curtis reached around to fist his hand in her hair and drag her into the room, kicking at her hand until it knocked the gun out. “Yona get in here now.” Claude hissed as she twisted and turned to get loose from Curtis and he gave her a vigorous shake to stun her, her hands trying to tug his loose from her scalp. “Your dead buddy, wait till Matt finds out you even touched me with your filthy paws.”

“I dont think hes doing much for a while sweetheart” Curtis promised her when Yona appeared in the room, wrinkling her nose at the scene before her. “We thought they would have killed you Curtis” She said softly while Nam followed along behind, sluggish. His face was pale and the rag he had pressed in his chest was soaked, still dripping big heavy drops of blood, gravity making a steady drip drip drip echo softly in this metal dungeon. “Not yet, they had other ideas apparently. Yona, can you sense where Timmy is? He went into the engine and we got to pull him out.” She had displayed hints of Clairvoyance throughout there journey, and she nodded, turning away to start searching. Claude chose this moment to start up again, smacking Curtis right in his gut and groin causing him to cuss out and tighten his grip in her hair to keep from releasing her.

“Fucken bitch” he hissed and having had enough of her, he knocked her upside the head, her screaming the whole time till she to went silent as her partners, she to was simply dropped to the floor with a thump. Still trying to catch his air once again, the ache going dull easy to ignore. Dont underestimate them Curtis a familiar whispered voice came to him, taking quick glances at the other two. He went to check Wilford, collecting his pistol still in his robe, and hobbled over to where Claude lost hers near the door. Handing one off to Nam, he spoke softly to him, to keep Yona from breaking concentration. “Are you okay?”

“Yea im fine.” The man grunted in his language, loosely translated by the box hanging off his neck. Just then he coughed and spat a wad of blood. It was clear he wasnt fine, just from the way he was wheezing, Curtis guessed at this point his lungs were filling with fluid. He had heard it before with others in the tail end. No one here was trained to drain it either, sure now that anyone who could was probably dead. He gave Nam a knowing look and the man cast a downwards glance. “Dont tell Yona, not yet.”

It was then Yona sprawled to the floor, clawing to pry up a tile “Curtis, hes here! Hes right under the tile.” her fingers scrambled against the smooth tile, and Curtis grabbed the abandoned butcher knife, wedging the tip into a crack, pushing till it popped open. What they opened was unlike anything Curtis had seen before. The small boy was squatting among the gears, digging his hands into chunks of oily gunk and digging it out, flinching every now and then when a piece of metal gear would cut shallowly into him, his arms were covered in bloody shallow knicks. Robotic like motions, he plunged his hand into the gunk and scooped out a handful. “Timmy! Timmy look up!” The little boy looked up, but it wasnt like he was seeing Curtis, more like through him. Curtis whats wrong with him? “Timmy you gotta get out of there, can you go back out?” I dont know Baby, I dont know what they done to him.

The boy just ignored him, his sightless gaze going back to the task at hand, and it was then Wilford made his presence known with a heavy groan, pushing himself up to a sit, swiping at his face. “Maybe I made a mistake with you Curtis... “ His gaze bleary as he sought out Curtis and Yona kneeling over the hole. “You just dont get what were doing here, cant see the bigger picture.” He moved to get up and Nam came between them, wheezing worst then before but ready to defend them. They were running out of time and Curtis knew it. A glance at his hand was the resolve he needed. I mean, it was the sacrifice he originally was going to make in a sense anyways. And into the gears his arm shot, stopping everything in its tracks, almost immediantly the gears all locked up, the train shuddered and wobbled unsteady.

Nam was blocking Wilford from ascending, but was struggling, surprise the gun had no fucking bullets in it, Yona reached in the gaps and stretched to reach for Timmy, who still seemed oblivious to what was going on above them. “Please Timmy, take my hand.” She turned her head to the side and stretched further, facing Matt whom now was starting to groan as well, Yona started to panic “Curtis, fuck hes waking up!” Panting through the pain of his arm getting crushed in the gears, he glanced to see Matt roll to his back, covering his face with a series of curses. Curtis, get my baby out of there, please! This time it was Tonyas voice yelling at him to save her child. Pushing Yona back with his free hand, he shot it into the one slot Timmy might fit through and grasped the boys skinny arm, hauling him up and pushing him to Yona who wrapped him up in her arms and started to pull back.

Matts foot connected squarely with Cutis jaw, wrenching his arm out of the gears, half skinning it in the process, his whole body flinging backwards. The enraged man landed on Curtis, trying to choke him out with his single hand, his broke wrist still cradling against his chest. Even with both short the use of an arm, Curtis was able to overpower him, pushing him to sprawl backwards. In there scuffle, the gun Curtis had tucked away in his jacket fell out and in both of there lunge to retrieve it, they scuffled it across the floor to land in the open hole. Matts eyes widened a bit “Oh shit!” It took a second for Curtis to understand what the issue was, yes that gun was loaded and it was currently twisting into the gears, making the entire train shudder, then a ping ping ping!

The pressure had set off the bullets in the weapon, and all around them steam shot out of the pipes. Everyone stopped what they were doing, looking around with fear at the reaction, and there was another mighty shudder. “Its gonna go off the tracks, good job fuckers!” Wilford hissed out in a panicked rage. Another shudder and the nose of the train must have hit something, an ice block on the tracks Baby your voice sounding scared in his confused mind, cause it jerked upwards, loosing traction on the track, without the wheels working in tandem to keep the forward momentum. It scrambled everyone, slamming them to the left side, Curtis skidded on his backside, crashing into Matt, who slammed into the kitchenette cabinets. The kids they went flying backwards towards the half opened gate, falling into the car just behind, Wilford and Nam entangled together smashed into the bolted down kitchen table. Claude, she screamed in fear at just waking up to everyone being whipped around spinning backwards across the floor. The engine started to tip to its side. The side of the Engine suddenly was ripped away with a screech of metal and sparks, having hit cliff side rocks. Wilford and Nam got sucked out of the giant hole, and thats when Curtis went black, something falling and smashing him in the skull.

During this time, in the tail end, James was dragging you back down the aisle, your body bouncing against random bunks and junk scattered around from where they had torn everything apart. Finally he tossed you to sprawl on the ground and fell on your stomach, bouncing enough to knock the air out of you. “I thought we already talked about this hunny, just be a good girl and spread them. Not that I dont like it when you all fight a bit.” Thinking he had subdued you, he pulled back to hike up your coat and shirts to what he claimed as his prize. .

Taking a chance you twist and shoot a foot out to hit him in his chest to topple backwards and start to crawl away, but a large hand encircled your ankle and jerk you to fall on your belly with a omph! Panicked, your hands shoot out under a bunk to see if theres anything to hold onto. Your hand closes around a small shard, fitting in the palm. You snatch it as he keeps dragging you back, flipping you to your back with a smirk.

Calm down Y/N, wait for the right opportunity. Of course it was Curtis calm voice, the one he used when he was bringing you back from a panic attack. You take a deep breath, and change tactics on James, stopping trying to fight, you hold up a hand in surrender. “Please, I give! What do you want?” James hand fisted in your mess of hair, tipping your head back till your throat was exposed. Dragging his tongue over you, you fight back a wave of bile burning your throat at the feeling of the man all over you. “well what do you think sweetheart, I want your sweet pussy gripping the best dick you ever had and begging for more.” God how the fuck do you not gag at that. Concentrate Baby. Praise how good he is. you shudder in the mans grip as he starts to palm a bruised breast, twisting it painfully like before. Do I really have to Curtis?

Trust me Babygirl

“You made me feel so damn good last time, and I was so ungrateful.” trying to make your voice husky with false lust and looking up at him wide eyed. Reaching up you cup James face and bite your lip, giving it your all. “But how about this time you let me make you feel good? A thank you.” Leaning up your brush your lips against his, really putting your all into drawing him into the kiss. Fucker fell for it, and he got caught up in what you were doing with your tongue, where your hands were running all over him, palming his crotch through his pants. “Biggest ive ever had” Cant believe Im saying this. God I hate you bastards. You were fighting everything in you to not start crying in disgust. Finally when he was panting against your lips, you push him hard enough to make him roll, his hands grasping your hips to have you follow, and now.... now you fucking dick head, I have you right where I want you, you think triumphant when you straddle his stomach.

That you do baby, you know what to do next. Curtis hissed in your mind. Dont hesitate, hard and quick.

Arching up, you smile so sweetly at James looking up at you hazily. “God I knew you were a good fuck, but this is even better then I thought it could be.Tell me im the best, better then whatever his name was.” Tracing his chest, and winking at him to respond. “Oh baby, Curtis was nothing like you.” And with a quick twist of your wrist, you shove that shard of metal in his eye, pressing down hard and quick with your palm as you could. You literally felt it pop, and the warmth of blood shoot against your palm. “Hes every fucking thing a man should be!” Smashing your hand against the next vulnerable part of him, his nose, he bucks in pain underneath you, shooting you off. Tumbling, you scramble up and start running towards the back as James is screeching, dodging the unsuspecting hands of other guards reaching out of the bunks they were laying in, some of them following James choices and there captives started to fight back in the confusion you caused. “GET THAT WHORE!” James screeching, his hand covering his eye as he struggled up, red gore oozing between his fingers.

You were looking for anyplace to hide when thrown off your feet violently.

It wasnt another person, the train started rattling on its tracks and screeching, fishtailing back and forth. One violent turn and you were flung into the bars of a bunk, screaming out as pain blossomed white hot through your spine, tumbling now. Bottom was above you, crashing onto what should have been the roof of the train, items pelting you, bouncing off and crushing you. Your cries of shock and pain turning ragged when it all rolled once more, going right side up, the kids and other survivors going through a similar experience, whipping around and around as it kept rolling and bouncing. The back end of the train had gone off the side of a cliff and falling into a valley under the tracks. everyone whipped around and around, till it crashed to a stand still.

Groaning you push up under a bunch of random debris, and try to focus. Leaning over and puking from the dizziness, you push away from the mess and look around at other passengers and guards pushing themselves out of the mess, somewhere bright light was streaming in. Fuck fuck fuck fuck, you have to figure out how to get one of there guns before they take control again. Pushing up, you stumble around people, some of them eerily still, twisted bodies and blank stares. Not all survived. Relief flooded you as you saw more and more kids scrambling to your side. “Quick, find anything we can use as a weapon.” urging them with a hushed voice, they scattered to fulfill your request. Coming across a dead guard, your quick to strip him off anything valuables. Shouldering a rifle over your shoulder, more children and some of the women came back, fight in the adults eyes, most of the kids holding something they could use.

“Hey, Yall get yer asses back here!” some fucker drawled heavy accented, and a look over your shoulder saw that they had rejoined ranks. “Quick, get out that hole!” You urge your group, scrambling back the opposite way where the light was, bullets whizzed at you, ducking just in time, it clipped a woman next to you, fuck it was the woman who helped you before, Sara. Sara cried out grabbing her shoulder. Grabbing her waist, you tug her to follow along and aim the automatic rifle in your hand, just randomly shooting behind you as she climbed up to fall out of the hole with a yelp. No one followed you as you to scrambled out, maybe for once luck was on your side, there seemed to be alot less of them then there was of you survivors.

Crashing rather ungracefully over the edge of the train car, you land in the snow, and blinded you try looking around, drawing in for the first time in 18 years, fresh air. It burned your lungs,the intense cold and just that it was so god damn clean. Looking around your surrounded by cliffs, and as your eyes go into focus you can see where you all went over the edge, snow still rolling down, and scattered around you was a few more cars, above one hung precariously over the edge. Fuck, how did you all survive that? “Y/N, what do we do?” What do you do? What would Curtis do? You all had never discussed being on the outside. “We have to get away from here, they will be coming out any second after us.” Everyone shivered around you, wrapping arms around themselves. The entire group surrounding you wouldnt make it for long without shelter and heat.  

“Curtis” You voice was soft, he missed that.

“Hey baby” He looked over his shoulder and smiled.

“Curtis” You looked lost to him, confused.

“Im right here Babes” He held out an hand to reach for you.

“CURTIS” Why wouldnt you take his hand?

”Babygirl, whats wrong?” Striding over to reach for You, his brows coming together in confusion.

“CURTIS!” Fear and Panic etched all over you

He sat straight up with a gasp, Yona falling back from where she had been leaning over him, her face a look of fear and shock, tears tracking down her face. “What the fuck happened?!” Curtis cussed as he wildly looked around, Timmy was rocking on his heels next to Curtis, and he reached over to touch the boy, make sure he was real. “Yona... wheres Nam?” The girl shook her head, and straightened from where he knocked her over.

“Wilford and Dad are not here. That guy and girl are, over there.” She pointed among the mess. “But they wont wake up, I checked.” Curtis moved to get up, wincing. There was something broken, just ribs hopefully. He wouldnt be taking deep breaths anytime soon. And then his gaze went to his mangled hand, Okay this is more serious. Wincing as he pulled his sleeve over it to protect it, it had at least clotted enough to stop bleeding but had no idea what the real damage was yet on it. Timmy just stayed rocking nearby, Curtis debating what to do, the boy had obviously been traumatized by what had happened. But at this point, there was more pressing matters. “Yona, grab that butcher knife” Somehow they still had it.

Going to a panel, Curtis inspected it and with the knife, they managed to pry it off, and tossing the panel to the side. Ahhh, bingo, Curtis tested the wires and finding them not live wires, he started to pull and yank them out. “Cut these, a good three feet at least” He stretched it out, and Yona started slicing back and forth. Right now his first worry was Matt and Claude coming around before they could be tied up. He probably should just kill them after everything, but Curtis was just done with death. At least for now, and if You ever found out he had killed your brother, He simply couldnt. Claude, well we will see what ends up happening with that bitch. You snigger. Curtis had to hide a bit of a laugh, apparently his imagination made you a bit dark.

Yona, well he would be royally screwed without the girl, she was nimble and quick with her knots, the two of them dragging the still unconscious duo to a wall, tying them tight and far apart so they couldnt help one another, Curtis finally sighed in relief. At least for now he didnt have to worry about them at the moment. Yona again came to the rescue,having found coats in the other car, wrapping her and Timmy up.

“Theres a way out in the other car Curtis, a few are outside, just... standing around. I think they are high still.” Her own eyes bleary, it occurred to Curtis she to was coming down from the kronoles and alcohol she consumed on the trudge to the front. His voice soft “Are you okay yourself?” She twitched a bit and nodded. “Just after effects, nothing I havent felt before.” Curtis didnt like it, but he had to trust her, completely out of options. Yona took Timmys hand and together the three of them worked there way out of the Engine, and the next car, well it wasnt much better off then theres was, completely flipped over, several dead. Curtis was still questioning how they even made it out. What about the tail end? You? The anxiety of not knowing.... A deep breath was drawn in, and made him instantly regret that, fuck my ribs.

Popping his head out, rubbing at his face, he took it in. Oh God your voice echoes, and before him, stretched across the blinding whiteness of where you all ended up, was just destruction, chaos, and more death. Twisted metal cars, split open to spill out its contents to scatter across the snow, it seemed like the end wasnt to bad off the further he looked down the line, but shouldnt there be more?

Wheres the rest of the train Curtis?

Were going to go find out Y/N, Im not leaving you out there alone.

Nearby there was a small group of people, most of them were hiding in heavy fur coats, and watching them for a moment, Curtis pegged Yona to be right. These fuckers are high as a god damn kite. There were a few though, that looked more put together, and Curtis recognized one of them, his eyes narrowing. Right now he didnt have any of the typical gear on, but it was one of the men who would bring there protein bars. Wonder how many you I got to deal with? Curtis sighed, fuck he was so tired suddenly. “TImmy climb on my back” He ordered and squatted enough for the boy to wrap his arms around his neck. Going to the edge, he deemed it safe enough and jumped down, stifling a groan at the jolt in his ribs. His hand, god that was just a steady throb.

Yona inched to the edge, her feet coming over the edge, and she slid off as much as possible till she landed on Curtis shoulder, his arm wrapping around her thighs to keep her from tipping over and easing down for her to get off. As he straightened the men whom he dared guessed were some of the guards came over, they were scuffed, but not bad off as Curtis nearly was, and he braced himself for the typical aggression he knew from them, but they all held up there hands in a peace sign.

“Seriously man, were not going to do anything.” Curtis took a step back from them anyways, keeping the kids behind him. Yona peaked around him warily, studying them.

“Curtis right? weve heard of you. Listen, we have to look for survivors, this group over here is kind of useless right now, and these cars might have people trapped.” One started, another picked up.

“Front, Back.... it makes no difference now, Theres probably not enough left to make it count.”

“Right... suddenly im supposed to believe you all have a good conscious?” Curtis sure as hell wasnt going to trust them, 18 years of entrapment will do that to a man. Yona tugged on his jacket, and he spared her a look.

“Good, they will help us.” He nodded encouragment, and his gut twisted. The girl hadnt been wrong yet, but his mistrust and instinct was still was over riding that. He trusted another, and betrayed everything he believed in.

Curtis she hasnt been wrong yet, shes special.

Alright Alright, he thought, holding out his uninjured hand, he growled out. “truce for now... we wont give you any trouble. Were making our way towards the back to check on our people.” One of the guards winced.

“The back? We were coming over a bridge when the train derailled. Honestly the fact any of this is still here is shocking. Im sure the back end came off the rest of the train and went over the cliff side. A fall like that in a hunk of metal.” The man shrugged in a im sorry motion “The chances are not great anyone in those cars would survive such a fall. The tail end, its gone. Any survivors will be making there way up this way.” He looked over his shoulder and sure enough, people were slowly coming in groups. “Slim, the chances are slim, but... maybe...”

Slim, the chances were slim, but... maybe... it was all Curtis heard after he said those words. 

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