#yes i'm bitching about having to get up and go to the kitchen. okay. i am.

[bbokicidal]

Ooh, it's a bad habit. | SKZ [OT8]

synopsis: "Bad" habits the boys have in relationships + in general.

Genre: Fluff I guess? Pairing: OT8 x GN!Reader Warnings: Mentions of arguing but nothing depicted Notes: I just enjoy making these types of posts and I'm feeling inspired at 5 AM (YET AGAIN) so enjoy!~

Chan:

Does not answer text messages. Opens it, reads it, gets distracted, does not come back to it until either eight hours later or until you double text him. Hit his ass with the "????" and he'll apologize but otherwise he'll just "oh."

Leaves his little snack wrappers on the kitchen counters. If you don't get to them first, he'll clean them up when he goes into the kitchen next. He just forgets about it in the moment; Man likes his snackies.

Bites the skin around his nails so his cuticles are Lowkey HORRIBLE but if you get him on a cuticle oil that smells nice, he's gonna be like a bitch with a new lipgloss applying that shit every ten minutes.

Hums a lot. Not a bad habit but not the nicest when you're on a phone call and you can hear him humming next to you.

Cannot control his face. Even grows a habit of making certain faces at you when you're either arguing or talking about something he's uncertain about. It annoys you to no end and he tries to stop but fails every time.

Lino:

Doesn't answer, period. You can talk to him for almost five minutes about a subject and he won't hear a single thing because he's on his phone. Selective hearing, apparently.

Will not do something if he does not want to - which can be good, obviously he shouldn't do something if he doesn't feel like it - but when you've made plans and he doesn't want to go last minute it can be really frustrating. He's also incredibly stubborn when it comes to this, too.

Very irritable most of the time, especially after he's just woken up. He will snap if you pester him too much about something but at this point you've grown to understand it's just how he is. He never says anything mean, he never yells, it's just a light raise of his voice and something along the lines of, "Yes, okay! I'll get to it when I get to it!"

Glances at his watch way too fucking much. Man is constantly keeping track of the time - which leads to him complaining that he looked at his watch earlier and it said 4:50, looked at his watch two seconds ago and now it says 4:51.

Doesn't like being at events longer than he's supposed to be. If y'all have dinner with the group and he was ready to go home forty minutes ago, he's going to be pouting and rolling his eyes those entire forty minutes.

Changbin:

Talks with his mouth full. It's cute, because his cheeks pudge out and his lips are all pursed and pouty - but he does it a lot. Especially if someone argues with him while he's eating, he's gonna be pointing and yelling back and food's gonna be flying.

Not a bad habit but purses his lips and expects kisses from you. You know what it means now and always kiss him when you see him do it but at the beginning of your relationship it confused the hell out of you. Why was he making duck lips at you?

Crosses and uncrosses his legs like no other. Sometimes the man cannot sit still in his seat and the moment you notice it, it Lowkey drives you insane. But he also can't cross his legs at his thighs because they're thicker than Hell AND he's got a third leg in the middle so he's always just crossing his ankles and kicking his feet out.

Sitting forward/slouching. Changbin. Cannot. Sit. Up. Straight. ^ Going off the prompt above, he's literally always sitting forward with his elbows on his knees or sitting back in his seat and leaning. It's not horrible but sometimes if he's in interviews or going to award shows you have to remind him to sit up.

Toys with things that are sitting in front of him. He needs stimulation with his hands so if he's got his phone, he's turning it over in his hands; If he's sitting in front of a candle, he's waving his finger over the open flame like an idiot.

Hyunjin:

Picks at his nail polish. He always does the cutest designs and he knows you love when he paints his nails but five seconds later he's either biting at them when he gets anxious or he's picking at the polish until it chips off. He never gets good photos, either.

Chews on his drawing pencils, which is why he's always buying new art supplies. Luckily he gets gifted drawing utensils from a lot of brands he works with on Holidays and his birthday - but a lot of his pencils go to shit because he gnaws on them while he's thinking about his art piece.

Checks his phone a lot. He wants to see if he has messages from you so he's always peeking at his notifications in eager waiting, but if he's with you he's also checking his group chat notifications from he boys. It's not bad, but gets annoying on dates.

Leaves his clothes everywhere. His room is always messy with little piles of clothes and when you move in together, your shared room becomes the same way. He gets better about it when you get on his ass but up until then he's just throwing his shit everywhere.

Twirls his hair around his fingers. Not a bad habit but funny when you pick up on it. He's doing it all the time when he's listening in on conversations, and while he does it he's pursing his lips. Just a drama queen judging other drama queens.

Jisung:

Talks with his hands. He gets real flappy when he's arguing and bickering with people, and he's come real close to hitting you a few times when he stands up from the couch to argue with Hyunjin on the other end. He always apologizes but it'll never stop.

Rubs his eyes a lot, which you have to remind him is bad for 1) his skin, and 2) the company will yell at him. He's gotten better when he's wearing makeup because he doesn't want to mess it up but when he's at home he's always rubbing his face.

Stuttering/Stammering. Especially if you're bickering or you catch him off guard, he cannot get a damn comment out to save his life. He'll try, say the word four times wrong, and then stop to think and then completely lose the thought altogether.

Constantly apologizing. The man is apologizing for everything under the Sun; Being behind you when you move away from the fridge, bumping into you while you do laundry, saying sorry for cutting you off while talking. Most of the things are no big deals and it can get a little frustrating, but it's also a tad endearing.

His eyebrows do not have an off switch. They are always moving. He speaks with his hands, his mouth, and his eyebrows. Which ties into him, most of the time, not being able to control his expressions. Not that he wants to.

Felix:

Messy eating. Man needs like eight napkins when he's eating chicken wings, he fuckin' flies through them like crazy. He's the type that's got sauce all over his fingers, his mouth, staining his chin. He can't help it though and it is kind of cute. Just don't let him near too many finger foods.

Touches his hair all too much. Sometimes he complains his hair looks greasy or messed up and you have to remind him that every five minutes he's pushing it back with his hands - which is why it grows oily so fast. Always pushing it behind his ears, pulling it down over his forehead, touching the ends behind his neck.

Swears like a sailor. Bro has the biggest potty mouth in the group and cannot control it when he gets angry. Most used words are: Wank, Fuck, Shit, and Asshole.

Claps at everything. Not in the verbal way; He actually claps. He claps when he laughs, he claps when someone does something successfully, he claps when he's tired and ready to go to bed. Has a habit of clapping once before he starts talking, usually a "*clap* Alright, well -"

Winks. Wink, wink. Always winking at people. Not strangers, though - Just you and the guys, and on occasion a security guard escorting him through the airport. An eternal flirt who cannot help himself. A natural charmer.

Seungmin:

Rubs the tip of his index finger against the side of his thumb and subsequently gains a callus from it because he can't fucking stop. It doesn't really matter nor does it effect his daily life but it's a little annoying when he's playing guitar. But it also.. kind of.. helps.

Speaking of ^ Brings his guitar everywhere he can. If he is going somewhere and knows he'll have free time to practice or play, he's bringing it with even if it's taking up space in the car and people are tripping over it. That thing goes with him everywhere.

Has a very bad habit of standing and staring - except it's less staring and more glaring. He's not doing it on purpose, nor is he always mad - He just had a perfect RBF and can't help it. But he's always tipping his head down, his eyes are always dark, he's never smiling unless he's actively like - trying. He's just kind of scary. Scary guard dog.

Taps his foot a lot. Not annoying, not a hinderance - just a habit that ends up making his ankle and the top of his foot hurt because he is constantly doing it. It becomes a game though if you pick up on it - He'll tap his foot to a rhythm and you have to guess the song, which is a lot harder than you expect.

Sniffs. Sniffles. Sniffing everything. One of those people who, if he opens something new, sniffs it immediately - even if it isn't food or something that will smell good. Sniffs it anyways.

Jeongin:

Twists the rings he wears around his fingers. Most of them are higher quality and from fancy ass brands so it doesn't matter, but every once in a while he gets a slightly shittier ring and when he twists it, it turns his finger green. And then he ends up pouting while he tries to wash the stain out of his skin.

Constantly licking his lips but not in the way you're thinking. He does this thing specifically where he pushes the tip of his tongue into the corner of his lips while they're parted and then caresses it. With his tongue. He does it a lot and when you pick up on it, you stare every time he does it subconsciously because it is so sexy.

Pulls at his bottom lip when in heavier conversations. Not even heavy topics - just intense or interesting convos. They could be talking about aliens and if he's in deep and thinking about conspiracies and shit, he'll pulling at the skin of his lip. More of a thinking habit than anything but he ends up using tons of chapstick afterwards.

Sticks his tongue out when he gets scolded or complimented. Anytime a comment is directed at him, he sticks his tongue out briefly before smiling. It's more of a teasing habit because it riles the other members up and flusters you - so. He gets away with it.

Pulls childish moves during arguments; Pouts when you're angry with him for something, rolls hie eyes when he's frustrated, puffs his cheeks out when he's thinking of how to retaliate. And absolutely says "Ooh you wanna kiss me so bad!!" when the two of you are bickering.

Permanent Taglist :

@dwaekkicidal @possum-playground

@thatonedarkskinnedsiren @oc3anfloor @theyadorevalerie

@jeonginsleftcheek @pixie-felix @hwangjoanna

[liminalmemories21]

911 - Ficlet

"You know what I'm really tired of," he says when Tommy answers the door, pushing past him into the house he's only ever been to a handful of times, but whose address he still has saved in his GPS as Tommy (home).

"Please, come in.  Make yourself at home," Tommy says sourly.  "Evan, what are you doing here?"

He makes a beeline for Tommy's fridge, and god he always has such pretentious fucking taste in beer.  Good, but pretentious.  And he's such a prissy bitch when you call him out on it.  He'd loved that about him.  Loves that.

He grabs one at random, hunting for the bottle opener in the drawer next to the sink.  "Maddie thinks I need to learn how to be alone again."  Takes a swallow.  Tommy just stands there in the doorway, staring at him, not moving.  "She's wrong.  Couldn't manage to graduate from college, but I've got a fucking PhD in how to be alone."  Takes another swig, and then pauses to look at the label, but this is actually really good.  "What I need to learn is how to get someone to want to stay.

He looks at Tommy, who's still frozen in the doorway.

"She agrees with you, by the way.  Also thinks I'm in love with Eddie."  Takes another drink and then goes to root through Tommy's pantry for the doritos he knows are there somewhere, because Tommy won't admit it, but he loves them.

Makes a low triumphant noise when he finds them.  Takes a handful and holds the bag out ot Tommy, "You want some?"  Tommy shakes his head mutely.

He shrugs, "Your loss."  Crunches his way though a few.  "You're both wrong, you know.  Even if it would be really fucking convenient for the narrative."  Tommy starts to say something, and he cuts him off.  "Am I sad that my best friend is gone?  Yes.  Am I not dealing well living in his house?  Also yes.  Fucking sue me."  Crunches a few more chips and chases it with a swallow of beer.  "Eddie's house was one of the first places I found where I was always welcome.  He trusted me to take care of the most important thing in the world to him.  I think I get to be upset that he moved back to Texas.  I get why he went.  I don't even disagree with it.  I wish my parents had loved me half that much.  I still get to be upset about it."  Points the beer bottle at Tommy.  "Okay?"

Tommy holds up his hands.  "Okay."

He nods.  Takes the last swallow of beer in the bottle.  "What was I saying?"

Tommy shakes his head.  "I have no idea.  Evan, why are you here?"

He frowns.  "Oh, I came to apologize."

Tommy's eyebrows go up.  "This was an apology?"

He waves a hand.  Contemplates whether he wants another beer.  "No.  I wanted to apologize for what I said, about not having feelings for everyone I slept with.  That wasn't about you, but I realized that probably wasn't obvious."

"No," Tommy says, and finally crosses the kitchen to get a beer of his own.  "It wasn't."

He takes the second beer when Tommy holds it out to him.  He can uber home if he has to.  "I was mad," he offers.

"Got that, thanks."

He snorts without really meaning too.  "I missed this."  Tommy's eyebrows go up.  "The way you're bitchy and mean."  Sits down at the table opposite Tommy.  "I missed you.  I don't know if I'm still in love with you, but I know I'm not over you, no matter how many things I bake."

"Bake?"  Tommy echoes.

"I baked every time I wanted to call you, or thought about you.  I could have opened a bakery with what I made."  Rubs his hand down his jeans.  "With what I'm still making."  Risks a look at Tommy from under his lashes.

"Okay," Tommy says slowly.  "So, if the comment about not having feelings for everyone you sleep with wasn't aimed at me, who was it aimed at?"

He grimaces.  "Everyone?  No, really.  Everyone keeps telling me to get back on the horse, or there are other fish in the sea - and seriously, what's with all the animal metaphors.  It's creepy."  Takes a breath.  "So I did.  I tried that.  Downloaded grindr and hinge, went to a bar.  Hooked up with a girl.  Hooked up with a guy.  Didn't like it."  Rubs his hand on his pants again.  Takes a nervous swallow of beer.  "The thing is, I want it to be true.  I want to have feelings for the people - person - I'm sleeping with.  But the only person I want that with is you.  And you keep leaving."

"Evan."

He closes his eyes at the sound of Tommy saying his name.  "That's not fair?"

"No," Tommy admits.  "It's fair.  I run before I can get my heart broken.  That's my MO.  Doesn't," he lets out a shaky laugh.  "Doesn't seem to be working well when it comes to you."

He puts his hand on the table, palm up.  "Were you serious about Saturday?"

Tommy stares at his hand.  "Yes?"

"Pick me up at 7?  Not," he adds hastily, "Micelli's.  That place has bad karma."

Tommy lets out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob.  He can relate.  "Not Micelli's," he promises.  Then, "I'm not over you either."

He nods.  "Good.  Maybe we can both learn how to not be alone."

"I was always good at math," Tommy says, and finally finally takes his hand.

[vaultsixtynine]

there should be a water spout directly next to my desk ughhhh

[jinwoosbabyboo]

“My Bitch Bad”

Telling the LADS Men they’re a bad bitch. Let’s be honest they are indeed bad bitches imagine Zayne rolling his sleeves up okay getting off topic let’s get into it….

Zayne

MC: Where do you think you’re going dressed like a slut?

Zayne: Excuse me?

MC: You are so fine you know that?

Zayne: You should watch that sharp tongue of yours

MC: It’s hard when I have a bad bitch with a compression shirt and sweats on in front of me

Zayne: A what?

MC: A bad bitch

Zayne: I’m not a ill mannered female dog

MC: You’re so dense sometimes

Zayne: I think we need to have a conversation about your word choice as of late don’t you think?

Rafayel

MC: Look at you!

Rafayel: I’m so good looking aren’t I?

MC: You’ll be the baddest bitch at the art exhibit

Rafayel: Just the art exhibit?

MC: The baddest bitch in the world

Rafayel: That’s what I like to hear

MC: Give me a little twirl

Rafayel: *twirls* my ass look fat?

MC: Nice and perky let me grab it

Rafayel: No! I know I’m magnificent but I’m married

MC: I know

Rafayel: So get back harlot

MC: Let me squeeze it!

Rafayel: Stop it I have a wife

MC: I am your wife

Rafayel: At least buy me dinner first before you treat me like a common whore then

Xavier

Xavier: Can you please let me in your kitchen?

MC: Unless there's a wanderer in there absolutely not

Xavier: Why won't you let me in there

MC: You almost blew it up making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Xavier: That was one time

MC: No it wasn't

Xavier: Doesn't practice make perfect?

MC: Your cooking skills haven't improved in the slightest

Xavier: :(

MC: It's okay bad bitches don't have to cook

Xavier: Im a bad bitch?

MC: Yes

Xavier: ....?

MC: You're so beautiful and breathtaking that all you need to do is sit there and look pretty. Got it?

Xavier: You think I'm pretty?

Sylus

MC: Why is your ass fatter than mine

Sylus: Do you have any kind of shame when it comes to speaking to me?

MC: I did ... and then you married me

Sylus: Ah a rookie mistake

MC: Turn around

Sylus: No

MC: Come on I want a full 360 of the baddest bitch in the room

Sylus: First you say my rear end is larger than yours and now I'm a 'bad bitch' what's next?

MC: You giving me a 360 so I can admire that ass ... I'm no better than a man

Sylus: Sweetie *Ties MC up* You've been unruly lately have I been too lenient with you?

MC: And if I say yes?

Sylus: Then maybe I'll let you get a touch after I have my fun first

MC: Such a bad bitch answer

Sylus: Enough.

[miaasarchive]

SUGAR, SPICE, AND EVERYTHING

NICE! . . . E.W

summary; baking lessons with ellie get messy!

pairing; baker!ellie x fem!reader

cw; very slight usage of y/n! (i'm sorry). food play. dom!ellie. top!ellie. oral!r (receiving). fingering!r (receiving). mdni.

w/c; 1.4k

a/n; hi cuties! this is kinda uhh horrible! i made this in literally one day bc i wanted to post something for u guys so bad. writers block has been a bitch lately! sorry this isn't dark content and kind of boring :( i promise some is coming soon! this is also a little short so sorry about that too. lowkey expecting this to flop buttt i hope u enjoy it anyways lovelies <3 (not proofread, i apologize if there are any mistakes. eventually, i will go back and edit it but rn i can’t be bothered lol.)

you didn't have a clue about baking. and, this was a real disadvantage to you since one of your friends was having a small get together where all of you were going to bake cupcakes, brownies, cookies, whatever sweets you could think of.

your friends did these every month and you were tired of missing out; miserably tapping through each one of their instagram stories while you sat at home in bed, rotting.

so, you did what any other reasonable person would've done, and you scheduled yourself a baking lesson. just a one on one with you and... and ellie.

ellie was a baker that you found through instagram, who just so happened to live merely 15 minutes away from you.

y/n_l/n: hey! just saw one of your vids, you do lessons right? i was wondering, if we live somewhat close, you could give me one? my friends are having a small bake day this saturday, so it would have to be before then. no pressure, thank you!

after a while of scrolling through your page and, well, maybe getting a little turned on by some of your very-obvious, attention seeking bikini posts-- at least, to her-- she decided that she was going to give you a lesson for free.

ellie.w.bakes: sorry for getting back to you so late. i would love to! thursday, 12:30 sound alright to you? here's my address if you're still interested. [1 attachment: ellie.w.bakes location]

y/n_l/n: yup! i'll be there. also, looks like we only live about 15 minutes away from each other. haha, that worked out. thank you so much!

and you were there; there sitting in your car, 15 minutes early, parked in front of ellie's house, trying to calm yourself down before the lesson. god, why was this making you so nervous all of a sudden? maybe it was the thought of her in an apron, with her hair pulled back, hands kneading the soft, floury dough-- okay, this was getting out of hand.

as you— finally— made your way up to ellie's front door, the spring air delved around your not-so-calm body, but the delicate breeze did help your sweating a little bit.

you knocked on the door, which was painted a nice, light cream color, complimenting the rest of her home.

when ellie opened the door, you froze. she looked exactly how you pictured her. in an apron, hair pulled back... just hot.

you don't know why you froze. it was like you weren't expecting her to actually answer or something. even though you booked this class three days ahead of time.

"y'alright there, angel face? looks like y've seen a ghost. come on in, i promise i don't bite." ellie's words were laced with a crooked grin and a smug tone. they snapped you out of your embarrassingly obvious staring and back into reality.

"right, yes. thank you."

as you made your way through ellie's home, you took note of the the strong vanilla scent, probably coming from the kitchen, which attacked your nostrils immediately. not in a bad way, it wasn't a bad smell. it was just a lot.

ellie's eyes drank your form in as you walked in front of her. one thing she noticed, you definitely didn't edit those instagram posts she was stalking. every single part of your body, head to toe, looked like it was sculpted by the gods themselves.

once the two of you made it to the kitchen, ellie sweetly took your purse and coat, hanging them up on a nearby shelf. what a gentlewoman.

your smile was almost as sweet as the cupcakes you were about to make, and ellie couldn't get enough of it. every time you flashed your pearly whites at her, she swore she almost fainted.

and every time ellie's skilled, slim fiingers sunk into the buttery dough to knead it deftly had you biting your lip. this lesson wasn't going well at all. how were you supposed to learn a thing when you were so pathetically distracted by her hands?

maybe it was just you. maybe you were the perverted one for thinking all of this. no, no. she was definitely trying to shove it in your face.

after you finished the lesson and grabbed your purse, you walked over to ellie to thank her and ask how much it was going to cost.

"so, how much will this be? i could venmo, or i have cash--"

ellie cut you off, "don't you worry ‘bout that, sweetie pie. beginner lessons are always free." psh, no they're not.

you gave her a confused tilt of your head. surely that wasn't true. "a-are you sure? it's really no problem, i could just pay you and get it over with."

"i'm serious. plus, i was thinking you could repay me in a different way. i was a pretty swell teacher, wasn't i?"

and this was exactly how you ended up naked, panties down to your ankles, heels kicked off to somewhere else in the kitchen, and whipped cream covering both of your nipples.

ellie’s hungry mouth latched onto one of your cream covered nipples and slurped up every drop of whipped cream like her life depended on it.

your manicured nails dug into the back of her head, forcing her mouth down onto your boob as she sucked and licked all over it.

“ellie, please,” your needy bitching and whining finally reached ellie’s lust filled ears.

“mm?” she hummed in curiosity while lifting her head up. “what is it, doll?”

you huffed in frustration. “y-your fingers. please. fingers, mouth… anything.”

“good girl, telling me what she wants.” ellie reached over on the counter to grab some strawberries that you had just used to bake, then placed them in a neat line leading down to your dripping pussy, which was currently clenching around nothing. cute.

the final cold strawberry was placed on your cunt and you let out a little gasp. it had been ages since someone treated you this good, with so much patience and delicacy.

ellie made intense eye contact with you as she ate her way down to your pussy, her green eyes glaring up into yours with so much hunger, she almost didn’t look like a human, just a starved beast.

when ellie’s tongue reached the final strawberry that was so perfectly placed on top of your aching clit, she took a tiny bite out of it first, then pressed it down with her teeth, the pressure making your clit twitch and throb even more than it already was.

“prettiest pussy i ever seen in m’life. looks so delicious,” and ellie took that seriously. because when she started eating you out, it was like your brain short circuited. she wasn’t afraid to get messy at all. she really treated your cunt like it was the best meal she had ever tasted in her life.

you arched your back up and lifted your hips off of the counter only to buck them towards ellie’s mouth, needing more. “f-fuck, ellie!” strangled moans strung from your throat and echoed throughout the whole kitchen.

ellie kept one thumb rubbing at your clit while she detached her juice covered mouth from your pussy to instead shove two fingers inside of your sopping hole.

“sucking me in so, so good, baby. you got it…” she praised and whispered sweetly as if she didn’t just force two long fingers into your guts.

“ah!” you hissed sharply. the bone and skin of ellie’s fingers stuffed you up just the right amount, not too much, not too little. and she was right, your pussy swallowed up her fingers up fast.

ellie started erratically pumping her digits in and out of your tight, little hole, leaving you rolling your eyes into the back of your head and trying to hump her hand.

“shit, shit, shit! els, g-g’nna cum!”

she gently grabbed your spazzing hips and relaxed them a little. “yeah, that’s good, that’s good. let me see that sweet pussy cum. give it to me, baby.”

and you did. your cum came gushing out of your pussy in hot floods, completely coating and drenching ellie’s wrist in your liquid.

“shit, there you go. look at that.” ellie slowed her fingers down, letting you ride out your orgasm and making sure to milk you dry before finally pulling out.

ellie brought her fingers up to her (already) dripping mouth and licked her fingers clean of your sweet, sweet cum, followed up by a:

“tastes just like vanilla frosting. can y’give me another one before you gotta go, babe?”

[smutinlove]

ANGSTTTT

reader runs away bc she hates enid but her father figure glenn adopts enid 😭

Carl finds her and u can finish the rest

ok bbg

it ends with a bit of fluff but enjoy!!

CARL X READER

You couldn't believe it. Your father, well, your father figure, Glenn, had taken Enid under his wing. Enid now lives with you, Maggie, and Glenn. It enraged you.

You loathed Enid. She, in your words, was a "deranged fucking bitch."

And maybe Glenn didn't love you as if you were his own. Maggie was also pregnant, meaning that there wouldn't be enough space for three kids. So maybe it was you who needed to leave.

And that's exactly what you did.

Once the clock struck midnight, you packed your bags and left Alexandria. You'd left your friends, family, and boyfriend (Carl). It wasn't like anyone was going to care if you left.

No one was going to look for you. That was the prophecy. You were destined to be alone, and you became self-aware of that thought every day.

You headed for the woods. It was a bit dark, and you didn't have your flashlight with you either.

You maneuvered the woods blind. But it was fine. You could just listen for the sounds of flesh-hungry walkers.

By the morning, you'd reached an old apartment building. You opened the door and were greeted by a few walkers. You used your knife to kill them. One by one.

You searched the first floor, killing walkers as you went. You decided it was best to stay here, on the first floor, in case anything happened.

You opened the door to a small apartment and settled down. It had a mattress on the ground and a small but empty kitchen.

You dropped your bag on the floor and laid on the mattress. You smiled. It was better than living with Enid. Totally better.

You decided that it would be better if you had some rest. Your limbs felt like they'd fall off. You closed your eyes, thinking happy thoughts, and slowly fell asleep.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You were having the most exquisite dream about living in a castle on clouds when suddenly everything started collapsing, and then you were met with a blurry figure hovering over you.

"Are you alright?" Your vision started to clear up, and the fog in your brain started to melt away.

You looked up, taking in the face in front of you. You knew him. Him. "Carl? How did you—" Carl cupped your cheek and whispered, "You thought that you could travel away from Alexandria and I wouldn't find you? You could travel to the end of the earth and I would still find you. Can't you see? You belong with me, Y/N. And I belong to you."

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn't help but smile. "You're so cheesy, Carl."

Carl grinned, "Only for you." He leaned in and kissed your cheek. Carl stood up and brushed the dust off of his jeans. "Let's go," he said.

"No."

"Yes, we are leaving." He took your hand and pulled you up. You wanted to go with him. But you couldn't. Glenn and Maggie definitely didn't want you. They were probably getting ready to kick you out. Luckily, you have already left, saving them the trouble to kick you to the curb.

"Fine, I'll stay," Carl said.

"Carl—"

"No, I'm staying until you come with me." You smiled. "I'll stay with you whether you want me to or not."

"Okay," you replied.

"Okay."

»»————<3———-««

Send more fluff/angst reqs for carl and maybe even jason or dick grayson. ;)))

[mj0702]

So my dearest Frens... even if it’s my day today I gift you with Part 6... I hope you enjoy it and have a good night... day... whatever timezone you live in ♥️

The other Bronze – Pt.6

You woke up with pain in your wrist. You felt every pulse shooting right up into your wrist. You groaned and grabbed your phone seeing it was just after 3AM. You groaned again but pushed yourself up and stood up going on a painkiller hunt. You entered the dark kitchen and started searching for the pain meds knowing Lucy normally leaving them in one of the cupboards. You were just rummaging through the third cupboard as suddenly the light got turned on and you swirled around feeling like a kid with it's hand in the cookie jar.

“Jesus fuck“ you exclaimed shocked being confronted by a scared looking Ona

“What are you doing?” the blonde asked evenly as shocked holding up a fly swat like it was a baseball bat

“I'm looking for drugs” you gritted through your teeth

“What?” Ona asked confused

“My wrist hurts like a bitch... I need painkillers” you huffed out before noticing the fly swat “What's up with that?”

“Oh” the blonde quickly lowered her weapon “I thought we were being... robado”

“You what?” you looked at her completely lost

“You know... when strangers come and take your stuff” she shrugged her shoulders

“Robbed... you thought you were being robbed and then you thought it would be a grand idea to defend yourself – and my sister – with a fly swat... great choice” you snorted unimpressed

“It was the first thing I could grab” the spaniard shrugged

“Just a small tip... if you have robbers in your house... call the police and do NOT engage with them.. they probably kill you” you said before turning around searching again

“They're in the bathroom... our bathroom” Ona clarified as she saw you looking around again

“You have an own bathroom?” you turned around again looking at her confused

“We do... wait I get them for you” she smiled before disappearing

“Own bathroom... who does she think she is.. Taylor Swift or what?” you mumbled to yourself plopping down on a chair at the kitchen table

“Here you are Bebita” Ona said as she put a half a tablet in front of you getting you a glass of water from the sink

“Lucy gave me two... you are pretty tight with my drugs” you grumbled seeing that half a pill

“Lucy overdosed you and you were high half of the day” Ona countered smirking

“SHE WHAT???!!!” you screeched

“What do you remember from yesterday?” the blonde asked carefully

“Your friends were over, Luce gave me pills, I slept” you shrugged your shoulders

“Ehrm... yeah... do you remember being in the gym with Alexia?” Ona hummed

“Huh?” you looked at here like SHE lost it this time

“Okay... believe me – a half a pill is more than enough... the rest Lucy can explain... Are you hungry Bebita? You haven't had a lot in the last couple of hours... I can... batter something up” the blonde spaniard offered

You just stared blankly at her.

“Yes... no?” Ona looked at you expectantly

“Yes... please” you said carefully

“What's wrong?” the blonde asked

“Why are you so nice to me?” you asked unsure

“Why wouldn't I be?” she questioned back

“I dunno...” you shrugged “... but I feel like you shouldn't be”

“Why do you feel that way?” the blonde looked confused

“God... now you sound like my therapist” you rolled your eyes but a smile was tucking on the edge of your lips

“So... why do you feel I shouldn't be nice to you?” Ona tried again

“I... I.. I blamed you, you know... and I came here with the thought of hating you... and you're nice to me...” you mumbled looking away

Ona just looked at you before it dawned on her

“You thought Lucy didn't come to your birthday because of me... because she prioritized me over you” Ona concluded slowly

“I'm sorry... I really am...” you nodded as you looked up at her with sad eyes

“You have nothing to be sorry about, y/n... I understand it... and I know Lucy wants to talk to you about it, but you know her – she's snoring her life away” Ona smiled at the end

“How did you know?” you mumbled surprised

“You talked a lot yesterday...” the blonde smirked as your eyes widen

“What did I talk about?” you ask panicking

“You called Aitana flawless... Alexia pretty... Mapí a colorbook and you spilled that you're dating one Georgia Stanway” Ona smirked

“Shit” you're eyes widen even more and all colour leaves your face “shit shit shit shit shit”

“Calm down... she will talk to you about it but she's not mad... not really – more hurt that you didn't tell her” the blonde said calmly

“She's going to kill G... and then me... or first me and then her” you just kept panicking not listening to Ona

“Y/n... she won't, okay... there's more you two need to talk about... but Lucy is NOT mad” the spaniard grabbed your hand running her thumb over the back of it

“Don't let her kill me...” you whined “... Keira... I need to talk to Keira first... and then Keira can talk to Lucy and Lucy will talk first to you and I can flee the country”

“Okay... enough... nothing bad is going to happen – now here's how the next minutes will go... you tell me what you want to eat, then you take your painkiller and then you'll go back to bed... in the morning you and Lucy will sit down and talk to each other – REALLY talk...” Ona put her foot down hoping you wouldn't hold it against her

“Okay... okay..” you took a deep breath before looking at your sisters girlfriend hopefully “I know you guys are pro athletes and live on a diet... but do you have ANYTHING sugary? Cookies? Sweets? Anything?”

“Don't tell your sister” Ona pointed at you threating but smiling before standing up and got some chocolate chip cookies from a cupboard.

“Oh god” you moaned happily as you bit half a cookie off “definitely not telling her... because then I need to share”

“Slowly” the blonde warned you as she saw you shoving two more cookies into your mouth

You slowed down but ended five more cookies before Ona took the package away. You looked at her hurtful but she just shot you a “Don't push it”-glare. She's getting really good with reading you, you must admit. Not Keira good, but... good.

“Come on Bebita... take your pill and back to bed... it's nearly 4AM” Ona smiled softly at you watching you as you took your painkiller without further protest

“Can I sleep in your bed?” you ask pouting

“Your sister snores” the blonde reminded you

“I know” you rolled your eyes “I grew up with her”

“Come on then” Ona nodded towards the bedroom “I'll take the guestroom”

“You.... with us?” you asked getting a little light headed again

“I don't think that's a good idea Bebita... your sister gets quite... handsy early mornings” Ona tried to bring her point across

“Morning sex?” you ask pulling a face your brain a bit foggy

“Sometimes... but that's not the point... how do you feel Bebita?” the blonde checked on you having a slight hunch

“Bit funny” you mumbled “sleepy”

“Come on then... I'll get you to bed” Ona sighed as she stood up signalling you to follow her

You followed suit standing up slowly following the blonde spaniard as said woman turned off the light in the kitchen while you grabbed the back of her shirt so you have a little guidance to not run into anything.

“Off you go to your sister... lay on right side so you don't hurt your wrist further – you might need to push Lucy over a little bit... she likes to sleep in the middle” Ona smiled encouraging as she stopped in front of their bedroom door.

“Oh don't I know it” you mumble as you let go of Onas shirt and stepped forward – to just run straight into the door.

Your face connected loudly with the wooden door. You needed a few seconds to realize what happened before your hand flew to your nose as you started to swear loudly which caused Lucy to finally wake up and open the bedroom door.

“What the Fuck, y/n? Do you know what time it is?” she whisper yelled at you as you try to hold back the tears that threatened to leave your eyes “If you wake Ona up with your nonsense, I swear to god”

“I'm already up... your sister needed painkillers and since you don't hear anything once you're out, I took care of it” Ona said rolling her eyes as she grabbed you by your shoulders and pushed you inside the bedroom to sit you down on the edge of the bed.

“Let me look Bebita” she said softly as she pried your hand off your face.

“I bet it's broken... just my fucking luck” you whined

“Let me look first” the blonde spaniard chuckled as she inspected your nose “No... not broken” she smiled at you

“What is going on here???” Lucy asked behind you both looking so SO confused

“I woke up and my wrist was killing me... so I investigated the kitchen for painkillers since THAT'S where painkillers belong... turns out your girlfriend hasn't got the deepest sleep and tried to kill me with a fly swat thinking I'm a robber... then she gave me some toast and my painkillers and I asked if I could sleep at yours... she said yes and led me over here and told me to go on... which I did...” you explained everything lying about the cookies

“... and you decided to run straight into the door?” Lucy asked you perplex

“How should I have known the door was closed? Who closes their bedroom door??” you said upset

“Me when my little sister is around” your sister countered and you could see the small smirk as your eyes grew wide and you started to dry heave

“Lucy” Ona swatted your sisters shoulder hard “Don't worry Bebita... she's just messing with you”

“I wouldn't put it past her” you mumbled and shivered

“Payback” your sister growled playfully

“Look... I was.... non compos mentis... I don't remember anything so you can't hold anything against me” you started to defend yourself knowing what your sister was referring to.

“Okay... both of you... either you go back to bed OR you go back into the kitchen and talk it out – I won't have you beat around the bush at 4AM when I could be sleeping” Ona interfered strictly shooting you both a warning glare

“I'm half drugged I don't care” you shrugged your shoulders

“Bed it is then” the blonde spaniard said and both of you knew there's no room for discussion

It took a little bit of shuffling before Lucy and you got comfortable in bed as Ona leaves as promised to sleep in the guest bedroom

You woke up hours later to an empty bed the sun already standing high in the sky as you rolled over and out of bed. You padded barefoot into the kitchen to find your sister sitting at the table books and papers spread out in front of her.

“Hey” you said tiredly scratching your head

“Hey Bubs” she looked up at you smiling “Good sleep?”

“Mhm” you hummed as you fell down on a chair beside her

“How are you feeling Bubs?” she asked and you could tell she genuinely cares

“Tired... kinda burned out... like my body wants to shut down but somehow it keeps going... my brain is not function and still runs a million miles an hour” you answer honestly and for the first time you were completely honest with your sister

“What happened at home... I know my birthday was just an excuse to flee mom and dad... probably more mom” Lucy leaned back in her chair to look at you

“I just.... I felt so alone Luce... you and Keira were gone... Jorge and Sophie have their own families... yeah, the girls are great... you know Tooney and Mearps are always there but they're not you... or Keira” you said and shrugged your shoulders looking down

“I'm sorry Bubs... I really am... I actually thought you knew that you can always call me... or text me... or send a pigeon” your sister leaned forward again taking your hand in hers “I may not be in the same country but I'm always there for you Bubs”

“What could you have done when I got expelled from school?” you asked getting upset that Lucy didn't get you

“You what?” Lucy looked at you confused

“I got expelled because I snapped at some girls who said stupid stuff” you said guilty starting to chew on your lip

“Tell me about it” your sister said after a moment of silence “I really want to know what made YOU snap”

“They were talking shit about you and some other players... you know... sexual shit... I mean I can ignore most stuff... I'm used to people drool and swoon over you but this... went to far” you explained getting kind of embarrassed

“Oh Bubs” your sister sighed out “I know it's hard to be my little sister – and I don't speak about the distance or the late night games or always being the baby of every team I join... but you can't snap at people.. not because of me or my name or my career but because of you... you are such an good loving caring person – I don't want people to think otherwise because the witness one incident”

“Do you know how it feels when people rate you top or bottom compared to other players? And not once but for WEEKS... and then proceed to ask questions about certain players and when I didn't answers they wouldn't leave me alone and pester me every fucking chance they got... do you know how it feels if you get asked in the middle of the class if you could top Leah... or Beth... of for god sakes JILL ROORD” you finally broke your silence about what happened and of course your sister was the reason for it. You didn't said anything about the topic to your principal – or your parents. You just took your punishment and the disappointed looks from your parents and just went on. Your Dad decided after some days it probably would do you some good to clear your head somewhere else and shipped you off to Lucy – much to your mothers dismay but she let you go once your dad reasoned with her about Lucys birthday surprise.

“I'm sorry...” your sister started after you took in what you said but you interrupted her immediately “... stop say you're sorry... it doesn't change anything if you're sorry or not” you leashed out at her feeling yourself getting angry “... I need coffee for this...” you said before standing up and going to the guestroom to chance and make ready to go out.

Your sister cleared the table while you went to change into some shorts and a simple white sleeveless compression shirt you obviously stole from Lucys wardrobe. As you re-entered the kitchen there were two cups of coffee on the table your sister sitting in her chair again waiting for you to sit down so you could continue talking

“I'm not drinking your shitty filter coffee...” you said grimacing at the cup

“It's from the good machine okay...” she rolled her eyes while she pointed to the shiny porta filter machine standing on the end of the counter “... you're such a coffee snob”

“Just because you don't have any taste buds left due to your old age” you fired back grinning but carefully took a sip of the cup “....yeah... acceptable” you said after a second

“We still need to talk Bubs...” Lucy redirected your conversation to the earlier topic “... what's going on?”

“Honestly.. I don't know Luce... I just... I get angry so quickly... I get upset even quicker... mom and dad are SO annoying... I don't really know what's going on... the only time I really calm down and can relax is when I'm with G” you try to explain but feel like you fail miserably

“Yeah... we need to talk about that too.. but.. one step at a time... you're a teenager Bubs... of course mom and dad are annoying... about the anger... what makes you angry? Are there specific situations? Like do you get triggered by something?” Lucy said empathic offering you a little smile

“I... don't know.. sometimes it's like someone clicked a switch in my brain and I get so so angry... I punched a hole in a wall in spring Luce... I don't even know why” you said defeated

“You need to get that anger out of you... in a healthy way... I'm going to talk to mom and dad – you're staying with me for the next few month... we're going to work on your anger management... I already have an Idea how... what do you think of boxing?” your sister said putting a hand on your shoulder for support “And I want you to talk to me... about everything...”

“Everything? Really?” you raised an eyebrow “Did you know that you can legally buy sextoys...” you started as Lucy slapped her hand over your mouth

“NOT everything... I'm not interested in that... in my world you're still a virgin and you will die a virgin” Lucy interrupted you quickly having a horrified look on her face

“Really... I'd die a virgin? But you can have girlfriends and sex? In front of me!” you asked baffled

“First... THAT was an accident... I didn't know you were coming...” Lucy started

“Neither did you apparently” you mumbled smirking

“Ugh... stop with the sexual innuendos” your sister rolled your eyes “And yes... you'd die a virgin”

“Yeah... kinda too late for that I'm afraid” you shrugged your shoulders

“I mean... you did spill a lot yesterday but how did THAT happen anyway?” Lucy asked calmly

“Would you believe me if I'd say G slipped and her fingers..” you smirked evil

“Not THAT... the whole getting into a relationship with Georgia” your sister rolled her eyes again

“She didn't want to at first... you know... she said you would kill us both... and that I should be able to have a relationship with someone who can openly declare how much they love me.... and then there's the age gap... which apparently is a big issue for some people... I wouldn't let her run away... It's all on me, so if you want to kill someone you need to kill me” you said quietly hoping Lucy would understand

“I mean... I understand her... you're 16 Bubs... and even if it was all consensual she's older... it's dangerous – for both of you... no one will listen to you if this comes out... but I also understand you – I know you got a good head on your shoulders and I know you know about the consequences and thought carefully about it” Lucy said thoughtfully

“I didn't choose to fall for her Luce... but I did” you said sadly thinking your sister would forbid you to see your girlfriend again

“I know Bubs... love isn't something you choose... Love is something that's just happening – and most of the time it's happening when you least expect it” your sister said softly “You have two options now... you either break up with her or you need to be really REALLY sneaky”

“I love her Luce... I know there's a lot at stake for her but I love her... and she loves me” you said quietly

“Then you need to learn to sneak around” your sister smiled encouraging

“Like you and Ona?” you asked a smile tugging on your lips

“Like me and Ona” your sister confirmed

“You do realize the fans already caught on, yeah... you have a ship name... but don't worry... it's not as bad as Wonze” you grinned

“You loved Wonze” Lucy shakes her head

“I loved the W in Wonze... but the ship name itself... not a fan – it sounds so harsh... like a sumo guy” you said thoughtful “But the new one is better... they call you Luna... Lucy... Ona... Luna... kinda cute”

“Isn't Luna that yappy Dog from Mrs. Kean down the road?” Lucy asked confused

“Was... got run over... chased a squirrel... truck... yeah...” you explained shrugging your shoulders once again

“Uh... I feel sorry for Mrs. Kean... she's a nice lady” your sister scratched her chin

“So... you won't forbid me to see G again?” you asked carefully

“Honestly... I'm not a fan but I couldn't stop you anyway... I will do everything to support you I swear but I also WILL talk to Georgia about it” Lucy said seriously

“Oh Luce cooome oon.. please... no” you whined “you'll scare her away”

“I'm your big sister... it's my job to scare girlfriends off” Lucy smirked widely

“I don't scare your girlfriends off” you huffed

“My girlfriends see you as the cute little helpless Bean... they don't take your threats seriously” your sister continued to smirk “But you could actually call your girlfriend and let me have a talk with her”

“No...” you said shaking your head hard

“Oh yes...” she just grinned at you

“You can't make me...” you pouted

“I can call her too, you know... I have her number” your sister mused

“But I'm not leaving... you can talk to her but I will be right here.. and if I think it gets to much I WILL stop you... and if I have to kick your bad knee” you said quickly

“I will go light on her I promise... for now” Lucy wriggled her eyebrows

You pulled out your phone opening your contacts clicking on Georgias contact waiting for the face time call to connect which didn't take long

“Hey Baby” you heard Georgias soft voice before the call connected fully “Everything okay?”

You saw her before she could see you – and your sister who was perched over your shoulder smirking evilly. But you knew exactly the second the call fully connected as your girlfriend squeaked out a “Shit... the other Bronze” and hung up on you.

You looked at your dark screen perplex while Lucy bursted out laughing behind you

“She knows she just blew your cover without blowing it” Lucy continued to laugh as you just stared at your phone

“She can't be fucking serious???!!!” you bursted out already trying to phone her girlfriend again

“Text her first” Lucy advice you “She thinks she just fucked up – tell her it's okay and to call you back once she re-joins the land of the living... you probably gave her a coronary”

You tipped out a quick message before putting your phone down

“YOU gave her a fucking coronary grinning like a fucking maniac right behind me...” you snapped at your sister waiting for your girlfriend to answer

“Calm down... breath Bubs” Lucy said her voice low sensing you're getting angry again

“I'm sorry...” you said shyly after you took a few deep breaths

“You're all good... but we definitely need to do something about that anger” your sister smiled at you

“What were you doing earlier?” you asked not wanting to talk about anger anymore

“Learning spanish” your sister answered understanding your need to change the subject

“Speaking of... where's the spaniard?” you wondered looking around to see if you could spot Ona

“Which one? The pretty, the flawless or the colourful one?” Lucy smirked at you

“Ooooh goood” you groaned letting your head hit the table with a loud “thud”

“Don't worry... none of them took it seriously... Aitana was kinda horrified when you were two centimetres away from her face calling her flawless and then telling her she could do better than dating me, but all of them knew I overdosed you and to not listen to you” your sister chuckled as she rubbed your back comfortingly “Alexia even went so far to actually answer to you calling her pretty spaniard... but to answer your question... she's at the Beach with some of the girls... it's our day off and the weather is nice enough so they decided on Beach”

Your head shot up grinning widely “Wanna play a game??”

“What did your brain vomitted out now?” Lucy asked carefully knowing you can be quiet the prankster – years of hanging out with Millie Bright, Rachel Daly and now Ella Toone and Alessia Russo took it's toll on your behaviour.

“You think I could pull of another day of overdosement?” you smirked

“Overdosement is not a word... but I pay you 50 bucks if you can pull trough for an hour without Keira catching on” Lucy smirked back holding out her hand for you to seal the deal

“Kei's there... now THAT'S a challenge” you grinned and shook your sisters hand

“Let's go then... you can take some of my stuff – like that compression shirt” Lucy said offhandly as she stood up from the table and went into her bedroom to get some beach friendly clothes

“It looks better on me anyway” you yelled after her as your phone started to ring

“Hey G” you greeted your girlfriend lightly smiling brightly as you saw her face again

“NEVER do that again... I swear I died – dead... possibly twice!!” your girlfriend stressed through the phone

“I'm sorry Luv... she made me call you... well... not really made me but she said either I call you or she would.... I thought it would be damage control if I'd call” you explained quickly peering down the hallway if your sister would come back

“So... she knows?” Georgia asked carefully

“Oh yeah... she knows..” you sighed out “... she overdosed my painkillers and I spilled the beans quiet happily as I was told... I'm sorry”

“As much as I wish it would have happened another way... ANY other way... I'm kinda glad she knows... I mean... I still think she will kill me but trying to pretend to just be friends when she was around was hard... so hard when all I wanted to kiss...”

“Stop right there Stanway” suddenly Lucy appeared behind you which made you swear loudly

“Jesus fucking Christ Mary Mother of God!!!! LUCY!” you yelled scared as you slammed your phone upside down on the table out of reflex to “hide” your girlfriend from your sister

“I'm sorry!!” Georgia yelled out as she was met with a dark screen where your face was just seconds before

“Oh you're going to be sorry once I get my hands on you....” Lucy started before looking at you “turn your phone around... how should I threaten her properly if she doesn't see my face??”

“She KNOWS what you look like, genius” you rolled your eyes “she's seen your face before”

“But she was never at the receiving end of my glare” your sister whined which made her “thread” kind of useless

“Lucy I swear... I won't hurt her...” your girlfriend said her voice was serious and honest as you turned your phone again so she was met with the face of Lucy and you “.... I love her”

“You better not hurt her Stanway... you may be my friend and teammate... but she's my baby sister... if you hurt her I'm going to break your legs” Lucy said and you knew she was serious about it

“Isn't it... “I'm going to break your neck”?” you asked confused

“She's a football player... broken legs are far more scary than a broken neck” your sister grinned and winked at you

“Good point” you mused grinning

“Ehrm.. excuse me?! We're talking my legs here” G interrupted you two

“You have very nice legs” your eyes shining knowing you could rile up your sister “very VERY nice legs”

“No... nope... uh-hu... don't finish that thought....” Georgia stopped you quickly knowing what you were thinking “... I'm about to go to training, you can't think about that right now... AND... your sister is right next to us”

“There will be a moment where she's going to walk in on us... which won't make us anywhere near even but it's a start” you said and can't stop grinning

“You were so innocent once” Lucy whined as she finally caught on what you were talking about

“Yeah well.. my room was right next to yours and the walls were very thin” you shot back which made Georgia laugh out loudly

“At least you learned from the best” your Sister shot back immediately

“Yeah... Keira explained quite a bit” you acted like you thought about something particular

“OI” you heard from both women

“What... I always ask Kei if I have questions...” you shrugged your shoulders “... it's not like she showed me or something”

“Okay... that's enough... G... training – go be great... y/n... do whatever... gosh... I feel like mom” Lucy huffed

You chuckled lightly at your sisters antics, shot Georgia a quiet “I love you” before hanging up, looking at your sister expectantly

“What are we doing now? I'm bored” you whined

“Beach?” Lucy smirked at you

“And what should I wear? Should I go naked?” you rolled your eyes

“I do own bikinis” your sister shot back also rolling her eyes

“Do I look like I wear bikinis?” you gestured down your body

“Shorts and a bikini top?” Lucy negotiated “Bubs you look great.. you know that – but if you feel more comfortable in shorts or even sweats – which would be a bad idea here in Barca because it's like hot hot but even then – I want you to be comfortable”

“It's just... my knees... I don't want to answer questions” you said quietly

“No one will ask questions Bubs... I'll make sure of it” your sister laid her hand on your shoulder and squeezed reassuringly

“Maybe bikini with shorts?” you asked insecure

“Sure Bubs...” Lucy smiled softly as she stood up and got different bikinis for you to choose from

“Should I send G some pictures?” you grinned “Bet I can make her walk into a door”

“Let her be... she needs to train... she needs a lot of stamina for next camp” your sister waved off not wanting to get involved in your antics

“I like the way you think... stamina is always good” you grinned

“Not for that... she will run a lot” now it was Lucy who grinned

“You can't make her run... you're not captain” you said as a matter of fact

“Oh but she will run... away from me” your sisters grin widen and got an evil look

“No... Lucy no... please... you said yourself we need to be careful... and you chasing her around won't help with that because all the girls will ask questions and yeah... please Luce” you actually begged your sister to leave your girlfriend be

“Bubs you don't understand... I NEED to do it... it's basically big sister law” Lucy ruffled your hair and you knew you wouldn't be able to stop her anyway

“Just... make it subtle” you sighed out rubbing your temple

“I'll see what I can do” she grinned as she grabbed a bag which was next to the door and grabbed her car keys “Come on Bubs... it's Beach time... oh... and don't forget to act overdosed”

“Okay... I need more pointers... what did I do yesterday... I need to be convincing” you immediately were distracted by your sisters comment

“Oh god... I don't even know where to begin..” Lucy laughed as she opened the door letting you step outside first.

That's it folks... it's a wrap for Part 6...

Next time on “Living with the Bronzes”

– Beach shenanigans with Mapí

– trying to convince Keira of being high again

– Ona on babysitting duty

– Alexia trying to keep the everything and everyone under control

and Lucy deciding to just sit back, relax and drink Sangria

[hazbinhazmeinachokehold]

The gang & Lucifer + chaotic child reader

a/n: This goes without saying but this is platonic. I have not made one romantic thing and I don't know why

not proofread!

Charlie: Very nervous. You don't have any self-preservation skills or any real way to protect yourself. At least Niffty is an adult so she can trust her with knives and all that. Kinda. Watches you like a hawk. It can get kinda annoying but it's because she cares. The hotel is completely baby-proof. You're not a baby though so it doesn't... work. Tries to help you get your emotions out in a less destructive way. One time you tried drawing the page was a mess of colors. Another time was baking the kitchen was a mess. But it's not hurting anyone so its a win. Okay, the kitchen might of hurt Niffty emotionally.

Vaggie: Tired. You guys are the defention of this imange :

(but that's also her with everyone at the hotel except Husk so whatever) She is less mean when scolding you than she is with others. Both because you are a child and there's a 99% chance you would bite her.

Alastor: He would either despise you or see you as his kid. For the sake of fic, we're going with the second one. You have a similar dynamic that he has with Niffty. Though cause you're a kid he might try to teach you his morals (or his lack of morals.) His ass is going to teach you the most insane things. Do NOT let this man teach kids unless you want future serial killers. And you're already very chaotic so this isn't a huge leap. Charlie, please steal you from him.

Angel Dust: I feel like he'd be okay with kids? Like not great as a parent but just visiting or babysitting he'd actually be pretty competent. Very chill about keeping you out of danger. Just picks you up and moves you away from the danger. Or if you have something dangerous just snatches it and puts it away. If it's not going to kill you also engages in the chaos with you. Irresponsible older brother who still cares about your safety.

Husk: Slightly protective of you. Won't let you go outside without someone else. Because you'd probably die in the weirdest way possible. He acts like he doesn't care but he defiantly does. There have been multiple times he's had to yank beer bottles out of your time. You weren't going to drink it but you'd smash it and use a weapon.

Lucifer: Charlie was a chaos magnet as a kid too! But more the hyper type and not the "I'm going to stab you" type. Does not acknowledge the fact that you're even slightly. Just the "Get your fucking dog bitch" "it don't bite" "YES IT DO" Can keep up with you and often plays with you. Will get you anything you want. Besides weapons those are off-limits.

Niffty: Two peas in a pod. I've based most people's reactions off their relationship with her. You two are a force to be reckoned with. So much rage and desire for destruction such little bodies to contain it. She is a horrible influence on you <3.

[sherwees]

pizza pizza

cw : very corny pizza boy porn scenario, deepthroating, dumbification, a tinsy tiny bit of fluff, you could tell I had fun with this, colors and links made the fic fun in the process, hendery employee of the month, hendery monster cock, does semen and pizza go together (no? okay then.)

apart of the nct corny porn plots series!

you were hungry as hell.

your stomach caved in with every growl, the intro to that one adult swim show with that one white guy and his friends and it's just beer beer and beer. is that seriously what men only drank? it made your stomach churn, great.. now you were nauseous and hungry.

rolling over sighing, you break your back into an uncanny angle to grab your phone from the floor. you sighed in relief when it came out unblemished, it probably fell when you were having a tantrum earlier about every restaurant being closed.

only little caesars was open.

and you cried.

who wants a greasy pie with cheese and whatever topping, possibly meat in the middle of the night. it'll probably just leave you uncomfortably full and queasy. even the thought at the grease caked up around your mouth was.. ew.. there was a lone chinese restaurant open too but.. just no.

ah yes, maybe you could try going to sleep.

never mind, another fuckass chipotle ad played.

your ears perked to the sizzling and contemporary deep male voice whilst scrolling past an arby's ad, your stomach growled.. to a fucking meat sandwich. oh you were near starvation.

you called up the nearest shop, the receiver sighed before he said, “welcome to.. little caesars.. uhm, how could I help you?” he sounded bummed out but his tone made you roll on your stomach and kick your legs.

“hmmm..– he huffed at your voice– excuse me?”

“what?”

“why'd you do that?”

“do what?”

“THAT.”

he sighs, giving a full visual of the overworked male slumping his shoulders. “do.. what?” the last syllable was dragged out with tiredness.

“you fucking–you let out a dramatic exasperated sigh, attempting to mock him–at me.”

“well maybe–” he paused his objection and realized his actions based off the sudden drop of his tone. “wait.. sorry. uh, I'm just stressed–” he possibly scratched his head based off the small pause. “what do you want..?”

“uhm,” you mumbled, “do you guys still have the pineapple pizza.. urm, special after midnight offer..” it was the cheapest thing on the menu.

“we surely do!” he said weirdly sultry but playfully at the same time. for some reason, an idea popped into your mind.

“um.. what's the total?” you audibly stifled a giggle.

“um.. 7.57.” he mocked you but you didn't process it until way after you got off the phone.

“also.. can you send your hotte–”

“it's only me.” he deadpanned. your smile and giggles dropped, well damn bitch.

“oh.” you hung up and threw your phone across the bed. that was.. uh. em.. urm.. embarrassing. but now you had to wait, confront, apologize to this poor man you managed to stress out within a sentence, go to bed, probably not even eat the pizza, poke the pineapples out and feel embarrassed for the rest of your life.

you spaced out, thinking about the scenarios and possible circumstances you'll take just for him to forgive you. maybe, the second you open the door, you throw yourself into his arms.. maybe, give him a 100 dollar tip.. kiss him.. kill him, hmmmm.. singing confessions II by usher?

the 100 dollar trick will definitely work, but let's double it down to a 20 or a 10.. but first, you gotta find your wallet.

you scrambled to your kitchen to find your purse, rummaging through your lotions, vaselines, lip glosses, car and house keys and finally.. your wallet. opening it, you're met with an array of mismatched cards; victoria secret, bath and body works, marianos..? uhm anyways, your drivers license and your card!

did they take card though?

who even carries bills anymore?

the doorbell rang.

“it's pouring out here! can you open up please, I have your pizza and I really don't wanna get it wet..” his baritone yet desperate voice called from outside the door. you panicked for a bit, hands frantically searching through your papers before you sighed, trudging towards the door.

opening the door, you nearly folded inward at the most delectable man you've ever seen right in front your very eyes. he was literally drenched, his orange shirt clung to his torso; his collar bones being his most prominent feature and the extrusive trail of his abs.

you finally met eyes with him, his brown hair was dewy and besides the vivid familiar smell of pizza, you picked up the scent of rain and nature from him.

why are his eyes so big too..

his nose was really cute and perky too,

ew.. are you checking out the delivery man?!

“pizza! pizza! your double delight.. uh.. hot and ready for a bite!” hendery (you now noticed his name tag) sing-songed, swaying his figure slightly to the imaginary beat.

“here's my card!” he tsked and sighed, gripping the pizza box which you now noticed was weirdly close to his crotch.

“now, why would I take your card..?” he tilted his head with an eyebrow raise, placing one of his hands on his hip.

“because it's the way I'm pay–” hendery rolled his eyes, quite dramatically at your rebuttal and actual stupidness. who the fuck thinks that delivery drivers– especially from a cheap restaurant like little caesars would be carrying a fuckass card reader, that's more for chick fil a.

“does it look like I have a card reader?!” he said monotonous, you noticed that he said it slowly as if you were stupid or something.

oh shit.

his eyes zoned in on your curves before they trailed up to your face, “how bout this, since you're so pretty..” he looked down at the box, sucking his bottom lip before looking back up at you.

“I'll give you it for free, it's on me sweetheart..” his pearly whites flashed for a second in a chaste smile.

“wait? really?!” your stomach dropped in excitement. he reveled in your happiness, he swore your smile was the prettiest.

“they call me the employee of the month for a reason..” hendery said, leaning on the door with the pizza box still tight to his crotch. “how about I come inside, it's pouring out here..” his eyes drifted to the rain jumping off the pavement then back to you with a slight smirk.

“a gift for a gift, yeah?” without waiting for your response, he stepped in with a mischievous grin.

“well, okay then..” you muttered, making sure to keep your eyes on the strange male whilst you shuffle behind him to shut the door.

there was something keeping the box ajar. through the slit, it looked like a tip of something, uhm.. that's not his dick right?

let's hope it's a container of garlic butter.

“uhm, what's that..” the tip of your finger nudged at the foreign object poking out, he hissed at the contact. genuinely, you cannot explain how you felt in that moment. shock, confusion, maybe a bit of terror ran through your body, you tried to pull away but his calloused hand gripped your wrist.

his other hand flicked open the pizza box, was that a pineapple ring around his dick?! your jaw fucking rolled to the ground, why was it so wide, so elongated and veiny and the worst part was.. THAT SHIT WAS LEAKING ALL OVER YOUR PIZZA.

“bro, you're leaking all over my pizza! I was fucking starving!” you whined, snatching the pizza box from his hands and throwing it on the ground.

“well, if you insist..” his hand went to your waist and squeezed before lowering you to your knees slowly. “have a taste..?” his other hand rubbed his massive member leisurely, positioning his cockhead at your pouty lips. “come on now..” he took the pineapple off and threw it on the ground.

you were hesitative, but you at least have to meet him in the middle. you obliged and opened your mouth, looking up at him; you noticed the sharpness of his jaw line. goddamn, he was hot. kitty licking his salty and sweet tip, a blob of precum landed on your top lip causing you to flinch.

he giggled at that. bitchass.

the hand at the back of your hand coerced your head forward, the tang of sweat ran through your taste buds. the taste of pineapple and salt became stronger as he pushed forward and stretched your mouth past your limits, you shivered and moaned. hendery's hand wrapped around your jaw before pressing on your neck, feeling around the bulge of his hefty cock through your skin.

“you're so hungry~ hm?” he ridiculed you before pulling back a bit and slamming himself back in. “don't worry, I'll make sure you're satisfied.” he gripped your locks before maneuvering your head harshly on his member, using your mouth like a cock sleeve.

you gagged, choked and flailed around but he didn't let up, his tip rubbed your tonsils sore. his abdomen was flush with your nose before he pulled out, a trail of spit, phlegm and precum followed.

your face was warm with tears and spit, you looked up at him; he was smirking. hendery suddenly yanked you up and pushed you against the wall, he played with the strings of your pyjama pants. “so fucking cute,” he murmured whilst squeezed your cheeks, his hand was as big as your fucking head.

“tell me what you want, honey..”

“I want my pizz–”

“damn, you'll get your pizza soon!” hendery yelled with wide eyes, shoving his thumb in your mouth. “shit, you're like a fuckin’ baby..” his salty digit rubbed a circle on your tongue, your teeth instinctively grazed the skin of the digit before biting down on it lightly. damn, you were hungry. his free hand shoved your fluffy pants to the floor with a small thud, you winced at the contact of his clammy hand fondling your ass.

it was his turn to fall to his knees, his hands fell to your thighs to squeeze and massage them before he shoved his face inbetween your legs. his tongue spread through your folds, sucking on your clit like a baby bottle.

you moaned and writhed but still had a sense of embarrassment of the sounds that resounded off the walls. he looked up at you with those fuckass doe eyes, you nearly fumbled into a ball of nothing right there. his left moved to your ass but his right stayed at your thighs, your head spun from his doings.

he then started to become reluctant, his eyes rolled back multiple times; immersing himself in the flavors of your savory juices. to be honest, the sounds of him slurping makes you want a baja blast from taco bell.

you just don't know why either.

“fuck do you think you could take me, princess?” hendery pulled away, his mouth messy with slick and a trail of drool dripping and clinging to his chin.

pulling you out of your baja blast daydream, hendery's eyes looked eager and bigg-ER like what the fuck? was he giving you puppy eyes?!

“uhm..” you looked down at his cock, it twitched like it was waving at you. “I'll see.” you shrugged and hendery fucking SMILED. again.

oh my gosh, he's so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

hendery stood up, the height difference was now more intimidating now. you only had view of his neck once he came closer, you were kinda upset but lightened (and tightened) up once his bulbous tip rubbed against your damp hole. you could already tell that he was too big, his tip felt heavy..

“wait..!” you screamed before he pushed in, hendery sighed before looking down at you. his brown pupils bored into your uncertain ones, “what if you tear through my ass and create two holes like some king louis xiv shit..” he gave you another fuckass smile but this one was reassuring, you giggled unironically.

“you'll be fine!” he rolled his eyes but this time with a playful intention and kissed your forehead. after almost going into shock, he pushes himself in; you both grunt at the first contact. the smooth ridges of your pussy gripped him so well, practically milking him; hendery even looked at you to see if you noticed but your eyes were shut trying to accommodate to the monster's intrusion.

his shoulders slumped, guess he'll go easy on you. but you were so beautiful when you struggled.. hendery decided to test the waters once he sheathed at your cervix, he craned his neck to bite yours. you only whimpered and helped once he started to pick up a slow, steady pace just for you. the string in your stomach started to get tangled and soon break, you even started to tear up from the waves of ecstasy that launched throughout your body like mini sparklers.

sooner than later, he started pounding into you and everything around you felt humid.. your inner thighs were a sticky mess, it felt like your neck was being sucked by a vacuum and pricked by a toothpick and coated with hendery's slobber mixed with yours. you didn't even realize your mouth was agape, close it.

“sweetheart– holy shit!” you must've clenched around him or something, you didn't know what was what anymore. you might've even been deranged from the fucking monster cock that alternated your intestines functions and forms. “you're taking me so we-ll..” hendery's voice cracked a bit at the end. his jaw was unhinged, eyes shut until he looked down at the connection of your bodies.

hendery's cock swelled and twitched inside of you, emitting another moan from you and causing you to position your leg up higher. you literally wanted him embedded inside of you at this point.

“I think I'm gon–” you cut yourself off once that one particular thrust threw you off the edge. hendery's abdomen tensed when your walls pulsated around him in an erratic, yet unsteady rhythm. but the thing is, your high wasn't as long lived because once your post nut clarity hit you harder than that one ball during gym class in middle school.

you were fucking.. the pizza man.. in the middle of the night.

LIKE A FUCKING PORNO?

man oh man, you were in the fucking gutter, deep in it.. you felt like there was an audience of ghosts making fun of you, this was so fucking embarassing.

hendery pulled out of you with a pop, everything was black. did you go blind?! oh no, you just had your eyes shut. you opened them and gasped once you realized, the dick was so good, you thought you went blind. he started to gather himself but he snatched glances at you like he wanted to say something or do something. but you only stared at the stairs, what else did he expect?

he was only a delivery boy after all.

“deadass..” you croaked out of the blue, a lazy smile forming at the edge of your lips as you pondered on the unknown idea. hope resonated in his soul and visibly on his face when he turned around. “what if you tried the jizz pizza? the one you had your cock all over earlier..” you asked confidently and with a hint of curiosity, your foot nudged at his with a small snort.

hendery looked at the box, then looked at you with reassurance. it's not like you were daring him or holding him at gun point, it was just question. but something urged him in his heart that made him want to please you for some reason, like he needed to.

“are you serious?” he questioned, concern and something else you couldn't sense was etched in his features.

“yeah, try the jizz pizza!”

taglist : @haechansbbg

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

Of toppings and fillings

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 19

Prompt: Dessert

Rated: M

Tags: Established relationship; Idiots in love; Competitive idiots, to be more specific; Sexually explicit language; Sexual innuendo; Eddie is a little shit

It starts out innocently enough. Steve is lounging on the couch, Eddie sprawled on top of him. On the television, some home-making show is running, but Steve has dropped into a pleasant doze and isn't really paying attention. 

Until Eddie says, “Man, I could go for some of that right now.” 

Steve blinks at the screen.

“And there it is,” chirps the host. “Crispy meringue with that juicy filling underneath, which is the perfect mix of sweet and tart. With this delicious dessert, your family will-” 

Steve huffs. “It probably isn't half as good as my nonna's recipe. Her pies were the best.”

“Hah!” Eddie exclaims, propping himself up and ignoring the pained groan when his elbows dig into Steve’s ribs. “That only shows you never tried my granny’s baking.”

“Ugh, get off me,” Steve wheezes. He tries to shove Eddie away, only he’ll have none of it, and within seconds, things escalate into a full-on wrestling match. “Are you trying to insult my nonna’s baking?” 

“My granny’s baking,” Eddie purrs, pinning Steve’s wrists over his head. His breath fans over Steve's face, soft and warm. “Would fuck your nonna’s baking against the kitchen counter like a little bitch, and your nonna’s baking would enjoy it.” 

Steve sputters. Eddie smirks. 

Steve feels his teeth grit. 

“Oh yeah?” Prove it, Munson.” 

*

“Okay,” says Robin. “Walk me through this again. He shit-talked your nonna, so you made a bet on whose recipe was better? You’re supposed to whisk it, dingus.” 

Steve groans. His wrist is hurting. There’s dough stuck in his hair. “Yes, Robin, for the fifth time. Why is that so hard to understand?”

“Why is it so hard to understand the difference between whisking and stirring?” she snaps, making to snatch the bowl from his hands.

“Hey,” Dustin bellows. He’s standing next to Eddie, who is furiously attacking his own bowl with the hand mixer, bits of filling spraying in all directions. “No cheating, he’s supposed to do it alone.”

“Cut him some slack, Henderson,” Eddie says, tossing a grin in Steve’s direction. “It’s hard, getting a proper filling all on your own.” 

Robin slouches back against the counter, hiding her scowl behind nonna’s cookbook.

“It seems a bit excessive is all I'm saying. You could’ve bet for money, like normal people? How am I ever supposed to eat anything from your kitchen again, knowing that you’ve been on your knees in here, scrubbing dough off the floor, clad in nothing but a frilly apron, have you thought about that? It’s unhygienic, Steve!” 

“Jesus, shut up,” Steve hisses, throwing a frantic look at Dustin. Luckily, he’s busy shouting at Eddie about tempering the eggs, whatever that means. “And for the record, I’m not losing this. I’ve been cooking for myself since I was ten years old, while Eddie … I’ve seen him burn SphaghettiOs, Rob. There’s no way!” 

“Cooking is different from baking, though,” she says. “I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you. Say, is it supposed to look like scrambled eggs?” 

“Whoops,” Eddie says, knocking a bag of flour off the counter with his elbow. “Leave it, Henderson. I’m sure Steve won’t mind cleaning it up later.” 

Steve growls, throwing his whisk down so hard it bounces off the counter and hits the nearest wall.

“C’mon, let’s get this thing in the oven.” 

*

“Esteemed jury,” Eddie declares, setting his pie down next to Steve’s. “This is it, the moment of truth. Two pies have entered into this contest, but only one shall emerge victorious, forever determining who-” 

“Quit it,” Steve says. “Or are you scared to admit defeat? Your topping is as flat as your ass.”

He nods down at their creations. The perfect golden tufts of meringue crowning his own, and the unimpressive, brown crust on Eddie’s.

Eddie grins. “Why don’t you leave your verdict on my topping skills for later, big boy?” 

The kids, who’ve been following the exchange with swiveling heads, frown. 

“Are you still talking about pie?” El asks. “It doesn’t seem like you’re still talking about-”

Robin sighs. “Just cut them and get this over with.” 

Steve nods, grabbing one of the knives from her hand while Eddie takes the second. 

“Look at this and weep, Munson,” he says, cutting a slice and lifting it out of the pan for everyone to see. “Perfect, homemade lemon meringue pie. Crisp on the outside and soft on the inside, just as it should-” 

The topping slides off. A chorus of ooofs goes through the spectators.

“Erm, that’s okay,” Steve says. “I’m sure it still tastes fine, it's just-” 

The filling dissolves into a puddle. It lands next to the soggy pile of topping with a wet squelch. The ooofs turn into eeews. Robin cringes. 

“Yeah, no offense, dingus, but I’m not eating that. Gives me icky mouth feels just looking at it.” 

It’s Will’s voice that makes them both turn around.

“Oh, wow! That looks delicious, Eddie!” 

“Thank you,” Eddie says as the kids scramble to hold their plates out to him. With a large smile in Steve’s direction, he hands a particularly large slice to Will. A perfectly shaped slice of bright yellow pie with a beautiful, firm topping of meringue on top. It’s snowy white under the brown crust. 

Steve drops the knife. 

“But I don’t- …” he mutters, sinking down into a chair with wobbly legs. “How did you- … You don’t even know how to cook!” 

“I don’t,” Eddie smiles indulgently, sliding him a plate. “But I’ve been watching my granny bake since I was tall enough to peep over the counter.”

He presses a fork into Steve’s hand and a kiss to his cheek, patting his shoulder as he saunters off towards the kitchen. 

“Enjoy your pie, sweetheart. I’ll get the cleaning supplies from the closet. The apron, too.” 

Steve gulps around his first bite of pie. 

More holiday drabbles

Looks like his nonna’s baking isn't the only thing that's gonna get fucked.

[kyokutsu-sama]

Headcanons| They having a s/o who is afraid of spiders

Characthers: Tengen, Sanemi, Kyojuro, Hotaru

A/n: I'm writing this one, inspired by the situation I posted here the other day about that huge spider that appeared in my bedroom and I wanted to make a scenario where they kill a spider because the reader is afraid of spiders😅

I'm actually not terrified of spiders (at least when they're small) because when they're big I get all shivering🫣

🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️🔸️

Tengen :

You and Suma were in the bedroom talking and folding some clothes to put them away in the drawers of the dresser. "Will Lord Tengen come for dinner today? I mean, he was supposed to go on a mission today." Suma said "I have no idea," you replied, picking up the folded clothes. "Maybe he won't, he hasn't come back yet, so maybe he'll be too late."You went to the chest of drawers and opened the drawer, coming across a huge spider that made you scream loudly "What's wrong?" Suma approached and when she saw the spider she immediately jumped onto the bed in fear, also screaming Tengen opened the front door and heard your screams coming from the bedroom, which made him panic. He thought some demon had come in since it was already night. He ran towards the bedroom and when he opened the door he saw you hugging Suma with one arm and using the other to hold on to your shoe as if you were threatening to kill the spider if it got even an inch closer to the two of you. He scratched the back of his neck for a moment, trying to figure out what was going on there. "Wow, what the hell is happening here? I heard you two screaming just now." He said, approaching the bed "Tengen... over there." You pointed with your shoe to the chest of drawers "What's wrong?" He looked back without understanding "There's a huge spider inside the drawer." You explained "Oh, and what do you want me to do? Protect you and Suma from the spider or the spider from the two of you?" He laughed and you threw your shoe at him "Don't be an idiot and finish that thing off now." "Okay, I'll do it." He said, approaching the open drawer and saw the spider. He used his own hand to kill it effortlessly, both you and Suma made faces of disgust. "It's dead." He said, turning to you, who sighed in relief "Thanks for killing it." You said "Thank you, Lord Tengen, it really scared us." Suma smiled at him, and he smiled back "Yeah, I know..." He approached you and stopped at the edge of the bed. "But now you can rest easy. Here, the corpse." He said, throwing the dead spider at you two, and you jumped out of bed, running away, and he laughed out loud "Tengen, you son of a bitch! I'll kill you!" You yelled

Sanemi:

Sanemi was spending the night with you today since he hadn't been called for any missions. You were happy to be able to spend more time with your husband since nights are usually very busy for him as Hashira. While he was in the kitchen finishing up dinner (yes because he definitely cooks well and no one can change my mind) you were in the bathroom taking a shower. After finishing, you wrapped yourself in the towel, drying yourself and when you went to get the dress that was on top of the cabinet, you saw a big spider that made you scream and run to the corner of the bathroom trembling. "SANEMI!!" You shouted for your husband who was scared from the kitchen, hearing your screams He left the food aside and ran to the bathroom to see what was going on. As soon as he opened the door, he found you in the corner, scared and he didn't realize what was happening. "What was all that screaming about?" He asked as he approached you "Nemi, look to the side, on the cabinet." You said, your voice trembling and pointing to where the spider was He looked to the side and saw the motionless spider and couldn't help but laugh a little. "Seriously? You were screaming and cowering because of a simple spider?" He frowned and you nodded "Yes, and rightly so. Have you seen the size of that bitch?" You replied "So what?" "So what? Kill her!" You ordered and he rolled his eyes "Holy shit, Y/n!" He slapped the spider with his bare hand and crushed it like it was nothing. "Does it really cost you that much to kill a fucking spider?" He scolded you "Yes it does, because I'm scared and those things are disgusting"You said, coming out of the corner, adjusting the towel that was slipping, and he just shook his head. "Anyway, thanks for killing her." "Hurry up and get dressed, the food must be cold by now with all the time we wasted here because of a spider." He said, turning around walking toward the door "Was it really necessary to use so much brutality?" You scratched the back of your neck, seeing the spider completely crushed "Didn't you tell me to kill it? There it is, but if you feel so sorry for it, next time I'll ignore your screams." He said, slamming the bathroom door "He's scarier than spiders," you thought, smiling

Kyojuro:

You and your husband had taken the day off to train and improve breathing and combat techniques, since in a few days you would be called to go on a mission once again. Kyojuro was as fast as ever, sometimes it was hard for you to keep up with him, even though you were a Hashira like him. He had a lot of talent and you always admired him a lot for that. Not only you, but the other Hashiras as well. His attacks were coming from all directions, your arms were already wavering, tired of trying to block them all for hours. Your body was about to give in and he still seemed to be full of energy to continue. And then after some time you fell to the ground completely sweaty and exhausted, your breathing was uneven and your limbs numb. You had been training since early afternoon and the sun was already setting, it was long and painful but it was worth it. "Well well, my wife looks so tired. I didn't overdo it with the training, did I?" He asked, crouching down next to you "Enough for me to not move for the next few days. I could barely defend myself from all those attacks." You said and he chuckled "Nah, you did really well today. You're getting stronger and that made me proud." "Thanks." You smiled You were still lying on the floor when you felt an impression on your leg as if something was crawling up your leg and when you pulled the fabric up to see, you came across a huge spider which made you scream and shake your leg so it would come off. "KYO!! HELP ME!!" Fear took over you making you jump into his arms and put your arms around his neck, screaming "Y/N! What happened! Where did you get all that strength from now?" He frowned, trying to stay stable with you in his arms since you had thrown yourself at him very suddenly and you wouldn't stop shaking your leg. "If you don't stop moving we're both going to fall." "A huge spider is crawling up my leg." You explained "Calm down, just let me see that." He put you on the floor and bent down to check, but the spider had already fallen from your leg. "It's okay, little flame, it probably fell when you swung your leg. There's nothing here." He smiled at you "Are you sure?" You said, peeking everywhere, even inside your pants to check "Not at all." He nodded "What a fucking scare!" You said, sighing in relief "Y/n, since when are you afraid of spiders? You've never told me about it." He crossed his arms with a teasing smile "I not afraid of spiders, but I mean... One that big, I do." You said, scratching your nape, and he smiled. "Are you laughing at me?" "Me? I would never make fun of my dear wife." He pulled you closer and kissed your forehead. "But from now on, I'm going to keep a spider like that one with me for when you start to run out of energy during training." He teased and you roll your eyes, slapping his chest "You're an idiot." You giggled

Hotaru :

Your husband was working long hours, forging and perfecting a new sword. Every minute of his work was precious, he loved what he did for living and if anyone dared to ruin his work, he would kill the person responsible. However, there were still little things that kept him calm and peaceful. The sound of the bells as the wind blew through them, the delicious and sweet dangos. Ah yes, his weakness... You then decided to make the recipe to take to him, who must have been hungry by now. When you arrived at the forge, he was there and you carefully entered to surprise him. He was so focused that he barely felt your presence even next to him. "Hi, dear! How are you?" You greeted him with a smile, but he continued sharpening the blade. "I brought food, you're hungry, right? Standing there for hours, working must not be an easy task." You approached him, caressing his back Seeing that he wasn't responding, you decided to run your hands along his sides and lightly tickle him, which immediately made him squirm a little and lose focus. "Y/n, I'm working..." He said, but you decided to intensify the touch, making him squirm even more "And you're ignoring me while I talk to you, and I'm not liking it one bit." "It's almost finished, okay?" He said, holding your hands. "Just a few more touches and--" "And you're going to take a break and come eat with me, got that?" You ordered and he just exhaled, rolling his eyes at you, giving in to your commands The swordsmith's eyes were now focused not on a blade but on the dango in his hands. His bright eyes looked like a stars, which you found cute. "This tastes so good." He said as he ate "Did you like it? I made it for you." "You did well then." "Thank you." You smiled You looked at the bench where he was forging a sword a moment ago and saw the shiny, sharp blade that could cut just by looking at it. You approached to see it up close. You were one of the few people he allowed to get close to his works of art and even hold them. A privilege. As soon as you picked up the sword, a spider that was on the handle ended up jumping onto your hand, making you drop the sword and start screaming, scaring Haganezuka who was eating so calmly. "What happened? Did you go crazy out of nowhere?" He asked, coming closer and you jumped into his lap, grabbing his large, strong figure. "Hotaru!! A huge spider appeared just now when I went to grab my sword." You said, distressed by the situation "And is all this fuss necessary?" He grumbled "Of course it is! It was huge and scary!" He looked at the counter and then at the floor where he saw the fearsome spider and stepped on it a few times, solving the problem. "There!! It's dead now. You can put your feet back on the ground." He said, putting you down again You sighed in relief at seeing the dead spider, but you couldn't help but grimace in disgust. "Yikes!! That's so horrible." "What was really horrible was that you dropped my sword that had just been sharpened." He said, picking up the sword from the floor and shaking his head, looking at it "I was scared. Did you see the size of that thing?" "So what? My sword is more important than the size of the spider." "Don't tell me you were going to let that thing sting me just because of a sword?"You crossed your arms "No, I mean... I would kill it, of course... But then I would kill you for dropping the sword so carelessly." He said and you narrowed your eyes at him "I should be the one killing you for being such an idiot and obsessed with swords." You said through clenched teeth

[andreilscat]

"Do we really have to?" Kevin groaned.

He was practically pleading with Neil, who was crouching in front of him, tying first Kevin's, and then his own shoelaces.

Looking up from his fingers, Neil grinned at Kevin. "Of course not. You can always stay home and get your beauty sleep. Good luck on the court then though, because only sleep will not help with your stamina, princess."

Neil whined as Kevin flicked him hard on the forehead, saying, "Will you stop calling me that?"

"Sure, but only if you stop bitching around when we both know how mad you get when I go for a run without you."

Kevin rolled his eyes, as he moved to get their jackets, peeking into their room in passing.

"Is he still sleeping?" Neil asked as Kevin came back and handed him the jacket.

"Yeah, he'll probably stay like this until we get back back."

**************************************************

Andrew was aware of the coldness that surrounded him even before he opened his eyes. He stretched out his limbs and checked the time - it was still way too early in the morning which could only mean one thing, that his stupid boyfriends were out there, freezing their asses off running.

He shifted in bed, trying to curl into himself to get some warmth, when he noticed something. There, at the edge of the bed was a hoodie, the one Kevin had been wearing the previous night. Andrew didn't even think about it as he reached for the fabric, pulling it over his head in one swift motion. With the hood over his head, he settled under the covers once again, this time putting his head on Neil's pillow. His boyfriends' smell swallowed him whole and he felt his eyes grow heavy. Soon, everything around him grew dark.

**************************************************

"Oh my god go get me my camera," Kevin half whispered, half shouted at Neil, who was rustling with something in the kitchen.

"You don't have a fucking camera, Kev," Neil started, but froze in place the second he realized what they were looking at. "Well now I wish I had one."

There, on the bed, they could see Andrew in Kevin's hoodie, more drowning in it than actually wearing it, given that it was way too big on him. Only his face was visible, and the tips of his fingers which were holding onto Neil's pillow for dear life. He looked so peaceful. So -

"I'm going to buy a camera," Neil said as he turned on his hill and almost walked right into a wall.

"Are you fucking dumb?" Kevin muttered as he pulled Neil out of the room.

**************************************************

Andrew was awakened by the sound of his boyfriends who were bickering once again, over God knows what. His gaze followed the sound only to be met with the two of them walking out of the bathroom with nothing but towels over their hips. He could feel coldness starting to creep over his skin just by watching them.

"Put on some clothes," he said, from between the pillows.

That seemed to get their attention.

"Why? Not enjoying the view?" Neil winked as he walked over to the closet, tossing a pair of sweats to Kevin, and taking another ones for himself.

"I am not taking care of either of you if you get sick." Andrew said as he pushed himself up into a sitting position.

As Kevin and Neil were getting dressed, they could feel Andrew's eyes on them.

"This temperature drop is really affecting you, huh?" Kevin said as he crawled onto the bed, sitting right next to Andrew and stretching his legs in front of him.

Andrew didn't respond, but instead leaned his head on Kevin's shoulder, closing his eyes once again.

This was new, Neil and Kevin exchanged looks and Neil cleared his throat before asking, "Do you want me to bring you breakfast here?"

"No," Andrew murmured, nuzzling his face into Kevin's shoulder.

"Is there something else you want, Drew?"

Andrew half opened one eye to stare at Neil, "Come here."

"Come where, Drew? You are on my side of the bed."

"Stop being difficult, Abram."

"Is it really okay though? You want to be in the middle?"

"Yes."

The mattress dipped under his weight as Neil sat next to Andrew, pulling the covers over all three of them.

After a moment of hesitation, Kevin spoke,

"Can we spoon?"

Silently, Andrew slid down, pulling his boyfriends with him.

He maneuvered them so that Kevin's back was to his chest, his own turned to Neil.

He took Neil's hands, bringing them over his stomach and letting him pull him in a tight embrace.

He started caressing Kevin's bare back, massaging it and making him sigh in agreement. Then, Kevin was reaching for Andrew's hands, holding them close to his face, and leaving small pecks on his fingertips. He intertwined their fingers together and held them close to his chest.

He knows that this is too much. He is aware that he cannot fall asleep like this, but for now, the only thing he can think about is how nice it is to be surrounded by their smell like this.

He could feel the heat spreading across his face and reaching his ears as Neil left a kiss on the back of his neck.

He closed his eyes and thought yes, he could get used to this.

[howdeepthegrave]

Modern Agathario AU. Agatha's about five months pregnant with Nicky when word arrives that Evanora has died. Rio is really worried about how this news will effect Agatha because yes, Evanora was the queen bitch of all time (Rio still has a scar near her hairline from where a massive stone in one of Evanora's rings cut her when queen bitch caught her sneaking into Agatha's room back in high school and just outright punched her in the head) but she was also Agatha's mother and sometimes even shitty parents worm their way into your heart.

At first, Agatha doesn't seem to have much reaction at all. Evanora left her a small legacy, a couple thousand dollars and some heirloom jewelry ("She probably forgot to update the will," Agatha says) but otherwise there's nothing to tie her to the woman she enjoys calling "the bitch who birthed me." Still, a few times, Rio walks into the bedroom and finds Agatha looking through the box of heirlooms (she stuffed it in the bottom drawer of their dresser as soon as it arrived) and sort of seeming distracted.

"I'm wondering how much cash we can get for it," Agatha always says, and she laughs, and Rio, not knowing what else to do, laughs with her.

Finally, one night, Rio gets home late from work and finds Agatha sitting at the kitchen table, sobbing.

"Love, what's up? What's wrong?"

Agatha just looks at Rio with the most hopeless expression, an expression Rio hasn't seen on her face since she finally got out of Evanora's house when they went to college a decade ago.

"Why did she have me if she didn't want me?"

"Sweetheart..."

"No! I need to understand! She carried me, gave birth to me, but she... She didn't want me. And now I'm here and she's gone and I... Rio, I'm so scared I'll hurt our baby. I'm so afraid I'll turn out like her somehow."

"You're not gonna hurt him, Agatha. You want him here. We both want him with us, and love him so much already, and..."

"And what if she thought she wanted me? What if she believed she wanted a child but then I arrived and there was something wrong? What if..."

"Agatha, what your mother probably needed was help. Therapy or something. You have that. Have you brought this up in session at all?"

"Sort of. But Rio, I... What if I'm like her? I don't want to make our baby suffer. I don't want to do to him the things she did to me."

"You won't, okay? That won't happen. You're worried about it, and that means you know it's a problem. Any time you feel afraid, you know you can talk to me, and we'll... We'll get through it. I'm here to help you, and your therapist can help you, and you're gonna be a great mom."

When Nicky arrives, he's a month early and sort of small and it takes a while to get him breathing. Agatha's begging to see him as soon as he's born, crying, asking what's wrong, but he just gets whisked away for treatment.

"What if I hurt him?" Agatha keeps saying to Rio once she's settled back in a room.

"Love, you didn't hurt him. I promise, this is just... He'll be fine. Nicholas will be fine."

Nicky spends a while in the NICU, but he comes through like a champ eventually and they get to bring him home. He's still kind of small, but the doctors say it looks like he'll do well. The day he comes home, Agatha just holds him for hours like she never wants to let go. Rio's right there with her, sort of amazed that the little guy is actually real.

"I look at him," Agatha says, "and I love him so much. I know I'd never hurt him."

And of course it doesn't fix everything, and she still has worries, but Rio's right there supporting her, and they know they can give Nicky a life so much better than either of them had growing up.

[hubbvrd]

#35 with Joe Burrow? Seems fitting with what's going on currently for him.

summary —Prompt 35: "What can i do for you right now?"

pairing — joe burrow x reader

words — 1723

notes — thanks for your request. I hope you like it!! 🧡

The music drifts softly out of the car radio. Your right hand is gripping the steering wheel tightly while your eyes are fixed on the road to get you and Joe home safely.

The last few days have been pretty chaotic and exhausting, so you are now more than happy to drive home with Joe in the passenger seat next to you.

Three weeks ago, Joe suffered a wrist injury during the game against the Ravens, forcing him to leave the second quarter.

This morning he had successfully undergone the operation and couldn't be dissuaded from staying in hospital any longer than necessary, so he was now on his way home with you.

He had been pretty quiet and lost in thought the whole journey, so you had more or less accepted the silence.

"Should we take some food home with us?" you break the silence as the building where Joe's favorite restaurant is located appears in your view.

"No, I just want to go home," he replies, mumbling, and a glance over at Joe shows you that he's still looking out of the window, as he has been the whole drive.

A soft sigh leaves your lips, but it's so quiet that Joe can't hear it.

Ever since Joe had to leave the field with his injury against the Ravens, Joe's mood has been pretty down and you knew the Bengals' star quarterback was blaming himself.

Every attempt to cheer Joe up so far had not really worked. But all the failed attempts were no reason for you to simply give up, which is why you started to plan in your head how you could cheer Joe up after all.

The rest of the journey, which wasn't too long, was another period of silence, in which not only Joe seemed to be lost in thought, but you too.

You were incredibly sorry and hurt to see your friend so dejected and introverted.

This situation wasn't easy even for you, because Joe wasn't the only one suffering. You were also affected by his injury and where he was.

You would have liked to take away all his frustration, pain and anger, if only you could do so without hesitation.

But as this was not possible, you had to resort to other means to make your boyfriend feel better.

- - -

"Wait, let me help you." With two big steps, you closed the small distance to Joe so that you could help him out of his jacket.

His right forearm was in a cast, which was in a sling in which Joe was supposed to hold the arm most of the time.

In the hospital, Joe had already cursed about the sling that the doctor had put on him, while he had made it clear that he had to wear it.

You knew that Joe would use every moment that you weren't looking to take the sling off for just a few minutes.

"Thanks," Joe mumbled, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead before slipping off his shoes.

"Would you like to get some rest?" you asked as you both went into the kitchen, where you unpacked the medication Joe was supposed to take for the pain.

"I'm fine, y/n. Really," Joe assured you as he gently pulled you towards him with his left hand on your hip.

"I'm sorry, Joey. If I'm being overprotective or worrying too much, please tell me, okay?" Your hands moved up to the back of his neck, where your hands interlocked and you looked up at Joe.

"You're sweet when you worry. And I'm grateful that you're by my side and getting through this with me."

"That goes without saying. But if you bitch or moan too much, I'll kick you out, just to make it clear, Burrow," you joked warningly, raising your index finger in front of his face.

A grin formed on his face. "Have you ever heard me whine?"

"Yes, only about forty-five minutes ago, when you had that noose put around you," you reminded him, pointing to the black sling that held his real arm

"That damn thing -" he began to grumble as his eyes wandered down to the noose and his face contorted slightly.

"Hey, what did I say?" you reprimanded him lightly. "Now off to the living room. You need to rest."

Without waiting for Joe's answer, you pushed the older man out of the kitchen and into the adjoining living room.

Only when Joe was comfortably seated on the sofa, with the remote control, his cell phone and a blanket within easy reach and you had given him a kiss on the cheek, did you make your way to the laundry room, where you began to take care of the delicate laundry.

- - -

From the living room you heard the sound of the TV, otherwise it seemed to be pretty quiet in the living room. Joe had probably fallen asleep in the meantime.

You tiptoed over to the living room and took a look inside.

There was some college football game on the TV, but your friend wasn't paying any attention.

Joe's gaze was fixed on the large living room window that led out into the garden.

His gaze was almost fixed on a point outside in the garden, so you knew he had been sitting there for some time, mulling something over.

"Babe?" you asked cautiously as you slowly approached your friend and carefully crouched down in front of him.

Joe didn't seem to react, however, as much as he was in his stupor, so you gently grabbed his left hand and he flinched.

"Joe." Carefully, your thumb began to stroke the back of his hand as Joe slowly began to come out of his stupor, blinking a few times before looking down at you.

He had tried to hide his watery eyes from you, but he hadn't really succeeded, as his eyes were still slightly watery and the skin under his eyes was slightly red.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Slowly, you rise from your crouch to sit down next to Joe.

Your warm hands gently touch Joe's cheeks as your thumbs gently and carefully stroked his cheeks, Joe looked you straight in the eye.

There was pain in his eyes, so the sight made your stomach tighten painfully.

Since Joe's injury, which you had witnessed live, Joe had hardly said a word about his feelings and thoughts.

Every time you had tried to talk to him about it, he had changed the subject and promised to talk to you when he was ready.

You knew that there was something that was bothering him so much, but you also knew that you had to give Joe time. You had to wait until your boyfriend was ready to open up and pour his heart out to you.

There were often days like that. Sometimes it took him more, sometimes less days before he could open up to you.

It always took the longest when he and the Bengals suffered a defeat or he had made mistakes in the game.

"I feel so bad," Joe whispered into the silence a moment later and slowly he begins to open his heart to you and give you an insight into what has been bothering him so much since the Ravens game and his injury.

"Oh Joe..." you murmur softly as your thumbs continue to stroke his cheeks. Because you know how much he enjoys this touch and that it makes him feel special that you are there.

"What if my recovery takes even longer than expected? What if this injury ruins everything and I won't be as good after my recovery as I was before the injury?" his voice sounds more and more fragile with every sentence that leaves his lips.

You feel your heart begin to ache slightly and you have to fight back the tears that are welling up.

It hurts you incredibly to hear your boyfriend thinking about himself like that, so you quickly wrap your arms around his body and hug him tightly to you.

"Joey, please stop that. You mustn't ruin yourself with these thoughts, do you hear me? I understand your fear and your thoughts and I'm sure they're not unnatural. If your recovery takes longer than planned, then unfortunately that's the way it is. But you know what? It's better that it takes longer than you get back to feeling fit pretty quickly and something worse happens in the end. And I'm sure that the rehab and everything around it will ensure that you get back to your old form, Joey. You are a fighter and no matter how rocky the road will be I know you will come through it with flying colors and be back in perfect shape in the end and who knows? Maybe you'll come back even stronger after the rehab and the whole program."

As you spoke, you felt Joe wrap his healthy arm around you and give you a gentle hug to silently show you how much his words meant to you and how much strength they gave you.

"What would I do without you?" he sniffled softly into your hair as you buried your face in the crook of his neck and gave him a gentle kiss on the neck. "I love you, y/n. So much, you wouldn't believe it."

"I love you too, so much, Joey."

You slowly sit up and look into Joe's eyes. There's a soft smile on your lips, which he returns and then pulls you close, pressing his lips to yours.

"What can I do for you right now? Make you feel better?" you ask him, after you've detached yourselves again and Joe has pulled you tightly against his chest.

He has wrapped his left arm around you while you rest your face against his chest and reach for the remote control to turn off the TV.

"Stay with me, very close. Cuddle with me and just stay here. You're all I need right now."

Joe carefully lays his head on yours as you carefully spread the blanket over the two of you.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

And Joe knew you would never break your promise. And so you spend the rest of the day cuddled up close to each other on the couch.

[watarfallar]

I don't know what to put for a title...INCORRECT QUOTES!

BigB: Are you drunk? Impulse: Only on the spirit of Christmas! Pearl: And the spirit of whisky.

Skizz: Three of the four elements are represented as types of hockey. Air hockey, ice hockey, and field hockey. Fire hockey needs to be a thing. Scar: Fire hockey absolutely does NOT need to be a thing. BigB: Do you care NOTHING for the balance of the four elements?!

Gem: What must it be like to live in your head? Are there happy ponies in there? It’s really something how utterly delusional your optimism is. If I didn’t hate you so much, I might even be impressed. Martyn: Huzzah! I got a heavily qualified and slightly sarcastic compliment from Gem!

Etho: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany! Etho, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

Joel: I hate Scar. Pearl: "Hate' is a strong word. Joel: I have strong opinions.

Impulse: I am strong! I beat Jimmy at arm wrestling! BigB: Anyone can beat Jimmy at arm wrestling! Jimmy: Hey-

Grian: Hey, I see those leaves, where are you from? Impulse: Illinois. Grian: AAYYYE, I KNEW IT! ME TOO! Ren: Did you just identify a state by looking at its leaves.

BigB, when Scott walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza. BigB: *accidentally smacks Ren in the face with the baking sheet*

Grian: *walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone* Martyn: Hey, Grian, how was your day? Grian: *picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Martyn* Hell. Mumbo, watching this unfold: *whispers* Who hurt you?

Martyn: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter A. Scar: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory. Joel: Fuck you.

Etho: Are you ever going to listen to me? Ren: Yes. Absolutely. Etho: When? Ren: When you're right.

Skizz, teaching Grian to drive: Okay Grian, what does a green light mean? Grian: Go! Skizz: A red light? Grian: Stop! Skizz: And what about a yellow light? Grian: If you floor it, you can make it! Skizz: …No—

Lizzie: We are gathered here today because someone- *glares at Bdubs’s coffin* -couldn’t stay alive!

Martyn: What if we were stranded on a desert island? Who would you eat? Jimmy: Etho. Martyn: So fast? Wh-what about me? I would eat you! Jimmy: That’s very nice, I guess. Martyn: Why wouldn’t you eat me? I’m your best friend. Jimmy: Look, if other people are having some, I’ll try you.

Tango: Say no to drugs. Gem: Say yes to drugs. Jimmy: It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs. If you're talking to drugs.. then you're on drugs.

Impulse: "What are you into?" is such a broad question, like do I reply with a TV series or choking?

Lizzie: There. How do I look? Jimmy: Like a cheap French harlot. Lizzie: French?!

BigB: My dad died when I was little so whenever someone jokes about fucking my mom I’ll pretend to be really sincere and say some shit like “Glad to see she’s moving on, my dad’s death hit her pretty hard.” Then watch them absolutely fumble trying to figure out a response to that statement. BigB: Update, she got a new partner I can no longer make the joke.

Cleo: It'll be fun. Cleo: We'll make a day of it. Cleo: Come on you punk bitch. Scar: I can't believe I have to say this. Scar: I don't have time to get tested for sti's with you tomorrow.

Grian: Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."

Scar: I haven’t lost my virginity. Jimmy: Because you have no friends? Scar: No... because I never lose!

Lizzie: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration* Gem: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table? Lizzie: I— Lizzie: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

[murasaki-cha]

Cale and the Soos but Gen Z

(ft. Choi Han, Alberu and Rosalyn)

(Part 1) (Part 2)

Cale: when I say I have "main character energy," I mean the nerdy introvert with anxiety and a general distaste for humans - Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Cale* Cale: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10. -

Cale: Babygirl I have health problems that would make a grown man cry- yeah of course I'm still going to work what are you talking about

-

Cale: I love having trauma from an alarmingly young age because when I can't remember stuff from my childhood I get to play a game called "Is This Normal Memory Loss From Growing Up, Or Do I Have Severe Trauma-Induced Memory Repression?" Choi Jung Soo: Oh word Alberu: Preach Choi Han: Fr Eruhaben: Genuinely what in the- Sui Khan: Louder Eruhaben: YOU ARE 13 WHA-

-

Sui Khan: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering. Sui Khan: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.' Cale pointing: You see where I got it from?

-

Rosalyn, eating cake: No wonder Marie Antoinette didn't give a fuck, this shit is good Cale: so true girl

-

Cale: when Billie Eillish said "I cant escape the way I love you" every gen z kid with attachment issues felt that Alberu: So you felt that? Cale: I felt that too much Alberu: Also who is Billie Eillish? Choi Jung Soo slamming the door open: bITC-

-

Cale: bitches b like “I'm baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches

-

Rosalyn going to her lesson with Eruhaben: Eruhaben-nim, are we cooking today or what! Eruhaben: Rosalyn, we aren’t… in the kitchen?

-

Cale: With all this tasks I'm getting from the gods sometimes I wish I was Jared 19 so I never read Birth Of A Hero...

-

Alberu: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so... Cale: Mood

-

Heavenly Demon: do you guys know the meaning of patriarchy? Choi Jung Soo: I prefer Spongebob tbh Heavenly Demon: One more word from you Sword Demon and I swear-

-

Cale: Can I go outside to say a word to god? Choi Han: Yea. Rosalyn: You go outside and start yelling ‘hey what the heck are you!- then ZAP! Cale: I've questioned god before and I haven't died yet.

-

Choi Jung Soo: I so wish I had a cat personality but I have such a dog personality like I would do everything for your approval, do you want me to fetch your stick just for a lil treat , hell yeah I would with pleasure! Choi Han: Oh that's what it was!

-

Choi Jung Soo: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? *Sees Sui Khan's cute 13 yo child appearance staring daggers at him* Choi Jung Soo: Imagine the toll.

-

Cale: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

-

Cale: A weight blanket is not enough I need to be compressed into a .zip file

-

Cale with a wine glass in hand: Existence is the enemy The group also with wine glasses in their hands: Cheers to that

-

Cale: Sometimes that sad feeling is due to low blood sugar, and sometimes it's from decades of history. Not that complex