#yes I was one of the people that cast fireball

[exhaustedhalloweenbat]

Thinking about a recent pathfinder session I had where three different people consecutively cast fireball in one round.

How we survived that encounter, I'll never know tbh

[relia-robot-writes]

I am the Princess in the Tower.

You know, people hear that, and they say, "Oh, that poor Princess, she must be so lonesome up there. Some cruel fate must have befallen her, to be trapped so."

It's true, to a certain extent. I am lonesome. There's no shortage of princes and princesses - I have to wonder where they all come from - who come to try to rescue me from my captivity. None of them ever get particularly close, of course. The Tower is surrounded by a dark and tangled wood, monsters of flesh and stone stalk the grounds, invisible barriers and devious traps block all entry, and even if they got to the base of the Tower, they'd have to figure out how to climb up a sheer, frictionless vertical surface while automatically triggered fireballs rained down upon them... it's pretty well defended, is what I'm trying to say. Every single one of them gets sent packing, cursing the wizard who built the Tower and imprisoned me.

Which is, you know, pretty funny, when you get right down to it.

I mean, it's only natural to assume that, right? Wizards are mysterious, they pop in and out all the time. If one decides to suddenly vanish one day, well, he's probably just off calculating the angles of reality, or whatever, he'll be back. And if a girl appears in his Tower, well, of course he kidnapped a Princess for his own unfathomable wizard purposes.

It hardly matters that there aren't any kingdoms missing a Princess.

I don't correct them, anyway. It's safer for me if nobody knows who I am, or how I've changed. Safety was, after all, why I built the Tower in the first place. You think wizards do this for fun? Out in the middle of nowhere, forced to conjure food and water? Having to walk up and down twenty flights of stairs if I feel like going outside?

Wizards build towers when they are scared shitless.

See, I cast this divination spell when I was an apprentice, and I fucked it up. It constantly shows me visions of my own doom...

Not buying it?

Well, there was this devil, see, and I tricked him into thinking I'd signed my soul away, so now he stalks me forever, seeking vengeance through the very shadows themselves...

No good?

Well, I was cursed as a wee babe, and now all the world is my enemy, from the mightiest warrior to the softest blade of grass, and each one thirsts for my blood!

...I would have died to that one, like, immediately, huh.

Okay. Fine. I'm just... a coward. I built my Tower as far away from everything and everyone that could possibly do me harm as I could. I studied magic because it felt like the best way to avoid any and all hard work, conflict, and danger. I held off on telling anyone anything about who I truly was or what I wanted until I felt I could be absolutely safe.

And still, with "rescuers" at my door just waiting for my hand, I can't bear to look at them. The idea of one even getting close enough to attempt to climb the Tower (it's happened more than once) is terrifying. I could ask them to stop, but who would believe me? "Yes, I, the Princess in the Tower, am totes fine, please go away forever thanks, I am not an evil wizard." That'd go over well.

There's another princess that just made her way through the Woods and slayed one of my constructs. She'll be at the Tower base soon. She's got really pretty hair

I wish

I hope that you

Please don't

I'm writing this down here, and then I'm gonna go hide. If you're reading this,

The blue-armored princess flipped the paper over to the other side. It was blank. Her hair smoldered from the fireball she'd almost dodged, and she drummed her fingers on the hilt of her blade as she reread the first side. Aside from the paper, the room - and, indeed, the entire interior of the Tower - seemed completely empty.

[powdermelonkeg]

Archwizard Gale lore???

Okay, SO! My personal headcanons for Gale's powers, both as archwizard and Chosen of Mystra, are based upon the following:

D&D makes a distinction between "archmage" and "archwizard," with the former being a spellcaster dedicated to the arcane arts and either: the counsel of royalty, a lich tyrant, or a reclusive hermit, all with multiple apprentices, and the latter being "an arcane spellcaster of extremely high power who successfully claimed a floating enclave," that specification coming from the time of Netheril.

Gale is NOT royal counsel, NOT pursuing lichdom, NOT a hermit (willingly), does NOT have apprentices when he first makes the claim, and does NOT have a floating enclave.

Despite these, he still claims "archwizard" as a title. This is significant, especially from Waterdeep, where the most powerful wizards in the world gather, including Laeral Silverhand (another of Mystra's Chosen, immortal to a degree, and Open Lord of Waterdeep) and Vajra Safahr (current Blackstaff and Archmage of Waterdeep).

Bonus points for his significance, he is Gale of Waterdeep. His personally chosen moniker marks him as outstanding among Waterdhavians. There might be a handful of people named Gale in Waterdeep, but there is only one Gale of Waterdeep. This is further backed up by Lorroakan recognizing him, with his only reason for Gale being lesser than someone who supposedly figured out immortality being that Gale was Mystra's discarded lapdog.

Gale is skilled in all manner of magic. This is confirmed directly in his epilogue, where you can question him about his choice teaching the School of Illusion, and he says that he wanted to teach ALL the classes there, but the staff told him no. That includes schools you wouldn't normally associate with him, like Divination and Necromancy.

Based on all of that, I've decided that "archwizard," as Gale means it, is a term referring to a wizard who's multiclassed into all their subclasses.

Does this make him overpowered? Yes. But he's an archwizard, prodigy, and Chosen, he's MEANT to be within the bounds of his own lore.

In addition, I also believe him to be an untrained Storm Sorcerer, based upon the following:

Sorcerers and wizards differ in that sorcerers know magic intrinsically, while wizards study it to use it.

When talking to Halsin as Origin Gale, you can tell him that as a baby, you summoned a whole pack of rabbits. Presumably, baby Gale was NOT reading and comprehending arcane textbooks.

Gale has an intrinsic understanding of the Weave, by his own admission, saying he could compose it rather than just control it. He was also casting third level spells like Fireball at eight years old.

Gale's theme is all about storms: his name is Gale, he occasionally says "A rough tempest I will raise" in combat, almost all his official art has him controlling lightning, and his robe is thunder purple. This continues into God!Gale's design, where he has literal glowing lightning bolts framing his eyes, and his outfit is lightning blue.

K'ha'ssji'trach'ash: On his own, the mephit is pretty self-contained; it's a magma mephit capable of revealing the true form of a True Ressurection scroll. However, the key to getting him to do this is to respond to the question "what is my name" in Ignan with the correct answer. After which, K'ha'ssji'trach'ash says "T'i n'uthrantha m'ahthra Gale." We don't know what this means, but it's clear that he's talking to us, about Gale, possibly thanking us or asking us to pass a message along. This implies that he doesn't speak Common, or else he would, because we answered correctly. Why do I bring this up? Storm Sorcerers have an innate ability called Wind Speaker, which allows them to speak Primordial (including Aquan, Auran, Ignan, and Terran). Thus, Gale can speak to/understand K'ha'ssji'trach'ash, despite his known/studied languages being Common, Celestial, Giant, and Draconic.

Because he's untrained, and rather than Storm Sorcery being just a Lv1 flavor bit that does little, I've decided that Gale has access to the class features of Storm Sorcery without access to its spell slots or Metamagic, that way it's reflective of his power without training.

With both of these conclusions, both archwizard and sorcerer, I've decided to pick and choose which class features are from which iteration of both classes, because BG3 and official D&D have a few key differences that were mostly changed for gameplay reasons. I've then taken those and added more flavor to them, based on the already-given flavor of D&D and effects of BG3, doing away with the mechanical side of things for storytelling reasons.

On top of this, because the maximum level you can reach in BG3 is Lv12, and we know that the Orb consumes "the greatest of [his] talents," I've decided that the Orb consumes any ability beyond Lv12 until its removal.

That being said, beyond whatever spells and slots you care to give him, the powers I think Gale has pre-tadpole are:

Abjuration

Arcane Ward: When Gale casts Abjuration spells, residual magic shields him from the worst of incoming hits

Projected Ward: Gale can extend Arcane Ward to someone nearby instead of himself

Improved Abjuration: On short rest, Gale can strengthen Arcane Ward to sustain itself beyond a single hit

Evocation

Sculpt Spells: Gale can control his Evocation spells and keep them from harming allies

Potent Cantrip: Gale can force enemies that resist his cantrips to take half damage from them anyways

Empowered Evocation: Gale's Evocation spells are particularly deadly (based on +INT modifier to damage rolls)

Necromancy

Grim Harvest: Gale can harness the power released when a spell kills a creature to heal himself, UNLESS it's undead or a construct

Undead Thralls: Animate Dead: Gale can reanimate a corpse

UT: Additional Undead: Gale can efficiently harness the power it would take to reanimate one corpse to reanimate two corpses with Animate Dead

UT: Better Summons: Gale's reanimated dead can take more of a beating than others' dead

Inured to Undeath: Gale's been exposed to necromancy enough that he's resistant to necrotic damage, and his life force capacity can't be reduced (this one in particular helps with the "Netherese bile" flowing through his veins)

Conjuration

Create Water: Gale can call forth rain at will (BG3's feature over D&D's to align more with storm sorcery)

Benign Transposition: Teleport: Gale can teleport up to 30ft, and can use that to swap places with an ally

Focused Conjuration: Gale's concentration on conjuration spells can't break due to pain

Enchantment

Hypnotic Gaze: So long as Gale holds eye contact with someone, he can charm them into stopping everything they're doing and staring at him in a daze

Instinctive Charm: Reflexively, Gale can make a split-second charm attempt to redirect an attack at someone directly nearby

Split Enchantment: Gale can efficiently harness the power it would take to enchant one person and instead enchant two targets at once

Divination

Portent: Gale can focus and gain split-second glimpses into the immediate future (such as the next blow about to be thrown in a fight)

Expert Divination: Casting divination comes naturally enough to Gale that he can cast divination spells using a lower spell slot

Third Eye: Gale can increase his powers of perception and gain a very limited Darkvision/Ethereal vision at will, as well as read any language

Illusion

Improved Minor Illusion: Gale can cast illusory effects with incredible ease

See Invisibility: Gale's experience with illusions lets him detect invisibility spells at work, focus on them, and see through them

Illusory Self: Gale can create an identical double of himself reflexively to confuse opponents

Transmutation

Experimental Alchemy: Using transmutation magic, Gale can more efficiently refine potion ingredients, occasionally enough to create a second potion

Transmuter's Stone: Gale can lock some of his transmutation magic into a stone, granting whoever holds it an effect of his choice from the following: Constitution proficiency, Darkvision, extra speed, resistance to acid/cold/fire/lightning/thunder damage

Shapechanger: Gale can polymorph himself once a day without consuming a spell slot (only into beasts with a CR of 1 or less)

Storm Sorcery

Wind Speaker: Gale can speak, read, and write Primordial (Aquan, Auran, Ignan, and Terran)

Tempestuous Magic: Gale can summon gusts of wind around him immediately after casting a spell greater than a cantrip. These winds are strong enough to propel him in flight for ten feet

Heart of the Storm: Gale has resistance to lightning and thunder damage. In addition, whenever he casts a spell that deals lightning or thunder damage, the magic that erupts is stormy and more powerful than other kinds of magic at equal level

Storm Guide: Gale can subtly control the weather around him, causing rain to stop falling in a 20 foot sphere centered on him, or wind to blow in a different direction in a 100 foot sphere centered on him

Feats

These are based on what I, personally, think make the most sense for him pre-tadpole:

Ability Increase: +2 to INT score

Elemental Adept: Thunder: Spells/attacks ignore resistance to thunder, and when a spell he casts causes thunder damage, it can't critically fail

Elemental Adept: Lightning: Spells/attacks ignore resistance to lightning, and when a spell he casts causes lightning damage, it can't critically fail

Okay, so Gale's crazy powerful, right? What could he have possibly lost that's greater than all this?

Well...

Abjuration: Spell Resistance: Gale was in tune enough with the Weave that he could resist spells (as well as gaining advantage on saving throws against them)

Evocation: Overchannel: Gale could deal maximum damage on a 1-5 level spell without ill effect on first cast, but suffered unresisted necrotic damage when using it again

Necromancy: Command Undead: Gale could bring undead made by other wizards under his control

Conjuration: Durable Summons: Gale could give anything he summoned a temporary shield against damage (30 temp HP)

Enchantment: Alter Memories: Gale could make someone unaware they were charmed by him, as well as make them forget something that happened during that charmed period

Divination: Greater Portent: Gale used to be able to predict more split second decisions ahead with ease

Illusion: Illusory Reality: Gale used to be able to pull shadow magic together into illusions and make them, temporarily, real. He can still do a limited version of this, but only via concentration to keep the threads together (hence the "anatomically correct" illusory wizard in the Drow twins scene; shadow magic is NOT the same as the Shadow Weave)

Transmutation: Master Transmuter: Gale could consume magic stored in his transmuter's stone in one go, using it to transmute one object into another, remove curses, diseases, and poisons, raise the dead, or reduce a creature's apparent age by up to 30 years

Storm Sorcery: Storm's Fury: Gale could react with lightning damage when struck physically Wind Soul: Gale was immune to lightning and thunder damage, could fly at a speed of 60 feet, and could reduce his flying speed to 30 feet for 1 hour to make four additional people fly

Yeah. Ouch. And that's not even including his former Chosen abilities.

Gale's Chosen abilities

Silver Fire: Gale could command pure energy of the Weave in the form of silver-white flame, which, at his command, could destroy anything in its path, banish dead magic areas, restore torn Weave, purge external magic and psionic effects from his own body, teleport without error to the last location he used the ability at, or cast spells without verbal, somatic, or material components

Mantle: Gale could cast the dangerous Mantle spell without suffering any ill effects, while other wizards casting the spell would suffer a drain of life force as long as it persisted

Weave Detection: Gale could detect magic's presence without the use of a spell

Weave Tapping: Gale could cast high level spells repeatedly without losing a spell slot, although this was discouraged by Mystra

On the page for Mystra's Chosen abilities, it says that sometimes her Chosen gained an immunity to magic, as well as disease and poison. I don't think Gale was so lucky, however; in the House of Healing, he mentions that he once turned himself in to a hospice in Waterdeep for a "bout of ruddy pox." Him having turned himself in implies he was an adult at the time, and should, therefore, already be Mystra's Chosen.

All that to say: behold, Gale of Waterdeep, in his original splendor. How the mighty have fallen.

[foldingfittedsheets]

So tonight in DnD. I have laughed harder than I have in a very very long time.

As background knowledge, we have an “Oops All Dragons” party. We’re modified young dragons so it’s not a huge advantage but at this point three fourths of the party are dragons.

We get called in to usurp two warlords. The setting is like fantasy mad max desert. One warlord was a warlock, the other a centaur fighter. Our first plan was that our dragons would dye themselves a different color to pretend to be rogue dragons and attack the city. They would take out the warlord. Then our bunnyfolk barbarian was gonna run in and take us down afterward to become the figurehead for the city.

But when we turned up the warlord had a pact with a demon who threatened that if we didn’t throw the fight he’d destroy the town with meteors. We started trying to scope out the magical trigger for the threatened spell. Our cleric-dragon started trying to sense magic.

After swooping all over the town we realized the magic was centered on the warlord. But we didn’t know for sure. And one dragon swooping close was just gonna be a target. So I said, “Hey… this one time my younger siblings loosed their… feces… after a dive”

The resulting hilarity took a while to calm down but finally the DM was like, “You want to try to blind him with your shit?”

Yes. Yes we did. But none of the dragons wanted to be the only one raining shit. It was embarrassing. So we decided that all three of us would try this gambit.

My dragon went, they doused him with a face full of poop but didn’t blind him. The Druid-dragon went next and did similarly well.

But he got the jump on the cleric-dragon, and furious, covered in dragon shit, he cast a fireball at her. Unfortunately for him, she has the ability to steal a spell. So the fireball launched then sling shotted straight back into his face.

There he was. A steaming flaming pile of burning shit. And then she shit on him too.

My dragon managed to dispel the rune circle we’d detected with the gambit, and he fled into the crowd to be torn apart by his oppressed people.

Then we did a WWE style fight with our barbarian and he managed to almost kill our Druid on accident and the dragons fled on schedule.

Success- after a fashion! We usurped the guy and shit all over the town.

There’s a second warlord we need to target. We decide what’s a little identity theft so our cleric posed as a grunt we’d killed previously called “The Haboob Wraith.” A haboob is genuinely a desert sandstorm but it was hilarious regardless.

We roll into town deciding to duplicate our piggyback tactics from the last one on one fight we had. The party was escorted into a champions tent and presented with the finest things before their fight to the death. The finest thing in this case is…. Milk.

We all paused and out of character said, “Did you just say milk?”

“Yeah! Like nice cow milk! It’s rare in the desert!”

I lost my fucking shit that the finest thing on offer was milk. So the Haboob Wraith strode into combat with a stomach full of milk.

The centaur warlord said, "I hope you've prayed to your gods, you're about to meet them."

"The gods pray to ME!" she shouted and went on to slaughter him.

We installed a second puppet warlord and rode off into the sunset, all of us staggered by the utter silliness of the whole session, and said goodnight with many a shit pun.

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: D&D Part 7

Alien DM: Can you explain something to me? Human Necromancer: What is it? Alien: Why is your sub class a seamstress? Human Necromancer: You ever wonder why I remove the limbs of every foe we’ve defeated. Human Paladin: Because you pledged your soul to the darkness leaving me pondering why I have left you alive for this long? Human Necromancer: Close but not quite. Human Necromancer: My raise the dead skill allows me to raise one undead creature at a time as a thrall. Human Necromancer: It does not however specify the size of said creature. Human Artificer: Oh my gods…. Alien DM: What? Human Artificer: Is that why you wanted my bag of holding?!!?? Alien DM: What does that mean? What is happening? Human Artificer: He’s been stitching the limbs together to form a single creature. Alien DM: *Realization kicks in* Alien DM: *Turns to necromancer* How big is your creature? Human Necromancer: By last count three miles long and all of it very grabby. Human Paladin: *Vomits* Human Artificer: So you call it out of my bag when you need it? Human Necromancer: Pretty much. Human Necromancer: I call it “Little Bessie”. ------------------

Alien DM: Metal gates slam down from the ceiling, trapping your party in a narrow corridor. Alien DM: You hear the sound of heavy footsteps towards you and from the shadows emerges the dark lord Drakholm himself. Alien DM: His fiery red eyes look down at you all through his corrupted helm. Alien DM: “I have waited-“ Human Wizard: Question. Alien DM: What? Human Wizard: I would like to ask a quick question. Alien DM: You are cutting the dark lord’s speech off before it has even begun. Human Paladin: It is rude. Human Rogue: The man has killed, like, a thousand people. Human Rogue: Do we really care if we’re rude to him? We’re here to kill him! Human Paladin: Good point. Fuck’m them. Alien DM: *Sighs* Fine, what is your question? Human Wizard: Are these metal gates solid gates or a portcullis? Alien DM: It is a portcullis. Human Wizard: I cast Acid Splash through the metal bars and directly at the dark lord as he is giving his speech. Alien DM: You…..what? Human Rogue: No, no; he’s got a point here. Human Rogue: What kind of villain would expect someone to interrupt his big monologue? Alien DM: I guess….roll for it. *Rolls dice, and passes* Alien DM: You fire a glob of acid at the dark lord as he is giving his speech. Alien DM: He was entirely unprepared for the attack and the glob hits him right in the face passing through the opening in his helmet. Alien DM: He lets out the briefest of screams before his head is reduced to a pile of mush. Human Paladin: I am surprised with how easy that was. Alien DM: I hate you all…..so….so very much. ---------------------------------

Alien Shop Keeper: That’ll be seventeen gold pieces. Human Paladin: That’s robbery! Alien Shop Keeper: Those area my prices. Human Rogue: You know that paladins kill the sinful, right? Alien Shop Keeper: So? Human Rogue: Robbery is considered a sin. Human Paladin: *Draws sword* Alien Shop Keeper: Oh no… ------------------------------------- Alien DM: Suddenly, a group of bandits leap from the bushes! Human Druid: I cast mold earth and turn the dirt underneath them to quicksand. Alien DM: *Rolls dice, fails* Alien DM: Well…..not how I expected that encounter to end. Alien DM: Are you going to bring them up to interrogate? Human Druid: In another three minutes. Alien DM: But these bandits can only hold their breath for one minute. Human Druid: You heard what I said. ---------------------------------- Human Wizard: I cast fireball! Alien DM: The fireball direct hits against the enemy troll in the center of town. Human Wizard: YES! Alien DM: It does absolutely no damage however as it is a rock troll. Human Wizard: Oh. Alien DM: The flames roll off it harmlessly and catch several surrounding buildings on fire. Human Wizard: Oh hell….. Alien DM: The citizens of the buildings run out in fear only to be picked up by rock troll and eaten. Human Wizard: Jesus Christ!!! Alien DM: And then the puppies wander into the street. Human Wizard: For fucks sake just kill my character now and spare the puppies! --------------------------------------------- Human Artificer: BEHOLD! Human Artificer: *Removes shroud* My latest invention! Alien Rogue: What is it? Human Artificer: The ultimate undead fighting weapon! Alien Priest: Interesting, how does it work? Human Artificer: Within this sphere is a small amount of explosive powder mixed with blessed salt. Human Artificer: When the charge goes off it sends breaches the secondary holy water cylinder and sprays the entire area with holy water and blessed sand. Alien Priest: So you’ve made. Human Artificer: A HOLY HANDGRENADE!!!!! --------------------------------------------- Alien DM: The monstrous dragon roars causing the nearby mountains to shake and shatter. Human Warlock: I throw the bag of pebbles I have been holding into its mouth. Alien DM: Really? That’s it? Human Warlock: I also despell the shrinking charm I had placed on the pebbles. Alien DM: Wait, they were shrunk? Alien DM: What was their original size? Human Warlock: Boulders. Human Warlock: They were the size of boulders. Alien DM: *Defeat sigh* Alien DM: *Rolls dice and fails again* Alien DM: The pebbles rapidly expand in the dragon’s throat, suffocating the dragon and killing it. Human Warlock: I roll to skin the dragon! Alien DM: Of course you do. ----------------------------------------- Alien DM: What is the point of having these elaborate boss fights if you keep killing them with simple spells? Human Rogue: Well, you can always say it is not allowed. Alien DM: Wait, what? Human Paladin: Yeah; you can say if something is allowed or not. Human Paladin: The DM has that kind of power. Alien DM: I DO!?!?!?!?!!? Human Warlock: Wait……what do you think DM stands for? Alien DM: It stands for something? Human Wizard: “Dungeon” “Master” Alien DM: 0_0

[rottenpumpkin13]

Zack gets AGSZC to play DND. What happens? Do they miraculously finish the campaign or does it go down in flames?

The DnD Game That Ended In Flames

Zack: Picture this—you’re all sent to survey a rundown reactor in the sleepy village of Nibelheim, and—

*Sephiroth raises his hand*

Zack: Yes, Sephiroth.

Sephiroth: Why would Shinra send three SOLDIERs and one infantryman to survey a rundown reactor?

Zack: …Uh… I don’t know. And you’re not SOLDIERs. You’re a fighter, Genesis is a wizard, Angeal is a Paladin, and Cloud is a Rogue.

Cloud: What are you supposed to be?

Zack: I’m the Dungeon Master. Anyway, so you have to hike up the mountain to—

Cloud: People have been known to go missing and die when they trek up Mt. Nibel. I wouldn't really recommend it.

Zack, ignoring him: As you begin your trek, you encounter a fork in the path. One trail looks—

*Sephiroth raises his hand*

Zack: What is it, Seph?

Sephiroth: Cloud doesn't recommend it.

Zack:

Sephiroth:

Zack, ignoring him: As you begin your trek, you encounter a fork in the path. One trail looks—

Sephiroth: What if we die—

Zack: PEOPLE DIE, SEPHIROTH.

Sephiroth:

Zack: One path leads through a dark forest while the other is a bit more dangerous, but climbs steeply up the mountain. What do you do?

Angeal: Obviously the path that climbs up the mountain.

*Everyone agrees*

Zack: Alright. As you climb up, the trail becomes treacherous! Rocks start to loosen beneath your feet—

Cloud: I told you so.

Zack: I'm going to yell at you and you won't like it.

Sephiroth: May I use my perception to scout ahead for dangerous spots?

Zack, rolling the dice: You spot a loose section of the trail and warn the others. But the path is still unstable!

Genesis: I cast a spell to help stabilize the rocks. You'll see, I'll save us all with my talent and sheer skill.

*Zack rolls the dice*

Zack: The spell causes the unstable rocks cause a landslide. You’re hit by a falling boulder.

Genesis: WHAT?

Angeal: How bad is it?

Zack, rolling the dice: The boulder hits Angeal with a fatal blow. He is now dead.

Angeal: HOW?

Sephiroth: Genesis killed him.

Zack: Yeahh…your path to the reactor just got a lot harder. You continue up the mountain, saddened after Angeal's death. Then you spot a Nibel dragon perched on the rocks. Its hungry eyes gleam as it notices you! Cloud, you’re up first!

Cloud: I’ll use my sneak attack and aim for the dragon’s weak spot.

Zack, rolling the dice: You deal significant damage. Sephiroth, your turn.

Sephiroth: I cast a fireball at the dragon.

Zack, rolling the dice: The fireball engulfs the dragon, hurting it. Genesis, you’re up.

Genesis: I taunt the dragon.

Angeal: HA! Like that'll help. Looks like you'll be joining me in death.

Zack, rolling the dice: The dragon is enraged and charges at you. Angeal, you die.

Angeal: I'M ALREADY DEAD.

Zack: Oops, sorry about that! *Zack rolls the dice* Genesis, the dragon is defeated and you live!

Genesis: Success.

Angeal: AKSJDGSJSKS

Zack: You finally reach the reactor. It looms before you, its structure old and decrepit—

Sephiroth: It’s typical of Shinra. Their greed causes them to neglect everything hidden from the public eye. What the public can't see, they do not care about.

Zack: A-ha! See? See why you need to survey the reactor? How do you proceed?

Sephiroth: We leave immediately and do not engage with the danger.

Zack:

Sephiroth:

Zack, ignoring him: You advance inside and notice something strange. On one of the doors near the core of the reactor, you see a name engraved: Jenova. Sephiroth's mother’s name!

Genesis: The plot thickens.

Sephiroth: What is this? Why would her name be here?

Cloud: What happens if we investigate the surrounding area?

Zack: The room is filled with strange machinery and pods containing…creatures. What do you do?

Sephiroth: I investigate the machinery and the pods. I need answers now.

Cloud: I’ll keep watch for any signs of danger.

Genesis: I'll sit quietly and eat an apple.

Zack: Angeal, what will you do?

Angeal:

Zack: Oh yeah, you're dead.

Zack: Anyway, as you investigate the pods, you discover grotesque, half-formed creatures floating in the mako. Suddenly Sephiroth finds a data log that reveals the horrifying truth: Jenova is not his mother, but an alien entity.

Sephiroth: I shall love her either way.

Genesis: That is the saddest thing I've ever heard you say.

Zack: Genesis, you have a choice here. You can either comfort Sephiroth in this moment of shock or make fun of him. What do you do?

Genesis: I choose to make fun of him.

Zack: Really? Damn.

Genesis: Well, well, Sephiroth. It appears mommy dearest is an alien. I can't say I'm surprised. After all, the apple does not fall far from the tree.

Zack, rolling the dice: This angers Sephiroth greatly. Genesis, you are now in mortal peril.

Genesis: WHY DIDN'T YOU MENTION THAT BEFORE?

Sephiroth: I choose to murder Genesis.

Genesis: HUH?

Zack, rolling the dice: Yeah, you're dead man, sorry.

Cloud: This is why we don't make fun of people's mothers.

Genesis: She isn't even his mother! She's an alien!

Sephiroth: The more you insult my mother, the more I feel inclined to recreate our fictional game in real life.

Zack: The creatures in the pods start to twitch. It seems your discovery has triggered something. What do you do?

Cloud: We leave the reactor and head back to the inn.

Sephiroth: A sound choice. After all, it's only the two of us now.

Zack: You head back to the inn, but in the middle of the night, Sephiroth slips out and heads to the manor library, searching for answers.

*Sephiroth raises his hand*

Zack: Yes, Sephiroth?

Sephiroth: I’d never do that. I adhere strictly to protocol and my rank. I would not abandon my men.

Zack: You have no men. Only Cloud.

Sephiroth, turning to Cloud: He's insulting your masculinity.

Cloud: Not cool, man.

Zack: Hang on! You have the choice to either follow Sephiroth or stay put at the inn.

Cloud: He might need my help. I should follow him.

Zack: You go after Sephiroth at the manor. You reach the library door. But you feel as if once you go inside, you will never be the same again.

Cloud: Just let me go in.

Zack, rolling the dice: Angeal dies.

*Angeal flies at him, but Sephiroth holds him back*

Zack, unbothered: As you step inside, you see Sephiroth at a desk, reading over a thick book. He looks up as you approach, his eyes filled with a strange intensity, bags under his eyes spinning tales about his lack of sleep. He looks depressed, sullen, confused.

Genesis: That's just what you see when you open his office door on any regular day.

Zack: Sephiroth shows you the book, which contains detailed records of experiments involving Jenova. The more you read, the more you realize the horrifying truth about her origins and the experiments conducted by Shinra.

Sephiroth: This changes everything.

Zack: Sephiroth, you have a choice: you can either take out your anger on your surroundings in a fit of rage, or return to the inn with Cloud. What do you do?

Cloud: Well that's a fucking no-brainer. Clearly he comes back to the inn with me. Why would you even include that as an option?

Sephiroth: I choose to burn Nibelheim to the ground in a fit of rage.

Cloud: WHAT?

Sephiroth: Gaia needs to pay for the sins committed by her children.

Cloud: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

Zack: Sephiroth begins to channel his rage, summoning flames that spread quickly through the village! Nibelheim is engulfed in fire as villagers scream and flee!

Cloud: I have to stop him!

Sephiroth: You are too weak to save anyone.

Cloud: !?

Cloud: Zack, how do I stop the fire and save the people??

Zack: Hm, you can try.

*Zack rolls the dice*

Zack: In a shocking turn of events, the fire is contained and all but one person survives the fire.

Cloud: Who? Is it my mom?? Is it Tifa?? WHO DIED?

Zack: Angeal dies in the fire.

Angeal: I ALREADY FUCKING DIED YOU IDIOT

[worlds-worst-ships]

Do you ship it?

"Hey Jack, who's your least favourite prota-" its Subaru.

Subaru... is FUCKING SHIT

"Oh hey, I just woke up in a world where people can shoot lasers, fireballs and icicles from their hands, freeze time, fucking FLY and tear holes in space-time with a flick of their wrist... lemme spend the entire time trying to get laid with a girl way out of my league!" like, piss off.

Oh yeah, and conveniently he can learn to fire time-altering shards in like, ten seconds, never once tried actually learning about shadow magic even though he had an entire library of magical knowledge and someone able to teach him right fucking there, and, lets be honest, is a fucking horrendous example of how to treat the girl you love. All that time, and never once did he even try to learn powers that could've saved him and everyone he cares about dozens of times. Subaru is the miraculous lovechild of plot convenience and plot incompetence at the same time. He is spectacularly shit.

I think this article explains it well tbh

But as for the defense of "if you went through what he went through, you'd break too", if I was in his situation, I'd have learned enough magic that half the things that traumatised him wouldn't have even touched me. Look what Satella does with shadow magic. If I learned to do that, tf is literally any character other than maybe that ginger knight going to do to me? He'd oneshot 95% of the cast. And yes, I am blaming him, because not once does he actually try until the shit really hits the fan, so yes, it is his fault. All for a girl he doesn't even know how to treat right.

[magixfairyix]

Winx Club Darcy Headcannons

(Some swearing)

~She's farsighted (ie needs glasses to read things up close) so that's in my mind why she has her glasses in her civilian outfit and not her transformation cause there's nothing to read up close when Bloom casts fireball

~I headcanon she, Icy, and Stormy are coven sisters. They all have separate backstories in my fanfiction, and families. Darcy found Stormy and then the two of them found Icy in Magix

~Darcy was going to be the leader of the Trix but looked at Icy like, "do I look like I can take that stress?"

~As a psychic witch (same information would go for any psychic magic) she knows a lot about psychology and the structure of the brain. In my mind to manipulate someone's mind (lol) you have to know the specific structure in the brain you are trying to manipulate/how it works and the more you know that the better the spell would work

~She keeps a notebook/diary thing and just writes random notes in there the days she writes, not really entries. Example: "Stormy is gay for Musa. Not my problem. Icy's doing whatever. Darkar's an idiot. I am tired and I need fucking sleep."

~Her main hobby is drawing but (unlike Bloom) backgrounds are hell for her. Mainly draws objects or people

~She cannot pay attention to one thing. If she's drawing she needs music. If she's watching a movie or something she needs to draw while watching it (unless she's extremely invested)

~Unlike Icy or Stormy who just listens to one genre Darcy listens to anything as long as she fucks with it. I can see her vibing with songs about just un-aliving grapists or maybe that's just me projecting (-o-)

~With specific music artists I can see her listening to: Luluyam (listen to their music for goodness sake) specifically the song DIVINE CEO and Sympathy. Stella Cole, songs like Love Like Mine and Woman of the Hour. Margo (the some repeat after me has such Darcy vibes). And ZAND (specifically I Spit On Your Grave and Deliverance), Also Ashniko cause yes

~Meanwhile Stormy listens to Evanescence, Halestorm (ironically), MARINA, and also BLACKPINK AND (G)-IDLE. And Icy listens to Halsey, Poppy, AURORA, and others that I'll put in her headcanons if I ever get to one

~She doesn't hate faries without reason as much as Icy and Stormy. But if a fairy says something rude about witches (ie, adding a reason) she will tear them apart. (Her planet in my headcannon, Zenothe, was made when witches who are basically abandoned found a dead planet so insult witches and she will fuck with you)

~Her favourite book is An Anomysis Girl (is gives very Darcy Riven vibes at least to me)

~Acually cared about Riven and was afraid to let herself trust someone like that at the beginning, so part of the reason she was able to leave him so easily at the end of season 1 was because she saw him caring for Musa and all (she saw that he did a bit in the beginning cause mind reading and all) and was like: ding dong ur dead

~Is so used to Icy and Stormy knowing her presence (coven members can sense where each other are if they focus enough, because magical bond and all, might elaborate on that) so she just accidentally jumpscares people sometimes

(Might be more but...)

[12pt-times-new-roman]

c3e85

They pull the bodies into the portable hole, and plan to lie to the approaching Vanguard members that FCG is a piece of malfunctioning farm equipment that caused the fireball and subsequent stampede. But among them is Evon Hytroga, the museum curator whose collection Hexum hired them to "rob." Imogen successfully convinces him that the Bells Hells also joined the Vanguard -- "what, are you surprised you had such good taste?"

Hydroga is desperately homesick, and Imogen takes advantage of that to convince him to allow the Bells Hells to join the caravan. She also manages to convince Hydroga's party -- against a 25 DC-- that the Willmaster was last seen running away from the stampede.

Meanwhile, they open up the portable hole where they'd put all the unconscious bodies, and Ashton immediately gets dominated by the reiloran and takes a round of attacks against Imogen. But since everyone in the hole is still very injured, they knock them out and bind them pretty easily.

They decide to use Ludinus' syphon on the Willmaster. Orym wears it, and they put the Willmaster's hand against it for a minute -- not enough to destroy her, but enough to take away her powers for 24 hours so they can question her.

As soon as the Willmaster touches the syphon, the runes light up, and Orym feels an icy-hot sensation. He can't move, the syphon is locking him and the Willmaster in place -- he is bound to the process as energy seeps from the Willmaster's form into the funnel and then into Orym. After a minute, they have to pull the Willmaster away from the syphon, and Orym gains the ability to cast dominate person once. (It's implied that if they had let the hour-long process complete, Orym would've gained the spell permanently as a once-per-long-rest feature.)

The interrogation begins: (Orym holds dominate person for the first few questions)

[What do you aim to do with the One Who Sleeps?] "To wake it." [What do you intend Predathos to do?] "Predathos is the heart of our people. Predathos is what has made us into what we are. We are its children, and it wants to be awake. It wants to feast, and when the gods are gone, the world the Blue Promise, will be ours." [What do you intend for those who live there now?] "Well, there are not many of us, and there are many of them. Some would like to live in harmony. Others know the nature of violence that they carry. We are not all that different. So perhaps we carve a place that is ours, and then we talk." [Why are you waiting for Predathos?] "So much of the strength of your world lies in its divinity, and the power granted by the deities. If they are gone, the playground becomes more even." [What are you waiting for, what do you need?] (Orym's dominate person fades here.) "Wait and see." [Do you know what Imogen is?] "You are one of the exaltants, yes. You walk the path as intended. You will know, in time. You want to know. But I am done talking. My lips are dry, and I hate your words in my mouth."

They pull the new exaltant out of the hole, and close it with the Willmaster still in there. He's young, no older than sixteen, and very scared -- he has a Dynasty-adjacent accent.

He started having dreams, like part of him was being called to Marquet; he thought he was following his destiny, when he was brought to the bridge and taken over it as part of the caravan. He was to be brought to the Weave-mind for "exaltation," so they could teach him how to control his powers. He -- Petrov Godo -- was travelling under the Willmaster's protection, but Imogen convinces him that the Bells Hells are members of the Vanguard rooting out the Willmaster's corruption; they tell Petrov he'll be under their protection as they travel with the caravan, as long as he sticks to the story that the Willmaster ran away in the stampede.

Chetney, still in the hole with the other two prisoners, uses grim psychometry on Ludinus' harness: "You can see Ludinus wearing it, you're no longer in the hole but in a tower, a chamber, this massive, beautiful chamber. The harness is on you, you see chains pulled down from the ceiling, and the faintly glowing, beautiful, struggling fey creature with beautiful butterfly wings and long hair, like some kind of air nymph that is bound and held there. It tries to scream, but no sound emerges, its eyes fearful. You see yourself pour through a book, servants running around, conversation. You feel a sense of hunger. You approach and turn around, step back, and feel the runes light up, warm. The torso vibrates with energy, and you can feel the screams of the creature as its life-force is plucked from it. Like a charlie-horsed muscle, you can feel a lump at the base of the neck where the harness meets skin, and it thrums with power."

Petrov goes back in the hole and they bring out the half-orc, Verdo. They plan to use the same ruse on him: that the Willmaster was traitorous, and the Bells Hells were sent by Liliana to root her and her corruption out. He believes this, and goes along with them, but Imogen notices that he is not Ruidusborn; it seems that while Ruidusborn and exaltants are loyal to Predathos specifically, non-Ruidusborn members of the Vanguard are loyal to Ludinus.

They send Verdo and Petrov back to the caravan with the knowledge that the Willmaster disappeared in the stampede. Fearne and FCG accompany them, while the rest of the group stays behind to deal with the Willmaster. As they arrive at the caravan, they find Otohan there, though she hasn't seen them yet.

Nevermind, she sees them immediately, and it just so happens that the Bells Hells have sent the two most recognizable people to the caravan.

FCG takes the only route that gets them out of a death sentence: "We've been sent here by the one you want, Imogen, to arrange a meeting." It fails.

Otohan has a +6 initiative and 3 legendary resistances. She decides that she can't harm Fearne or Imogen by virtue of them being Ruidusborn, but FCG they can do without.

Fearne convinces Otohan that Imogen is gone from them, in Krevaris already.

FCG tries to banish Otohan at 6th level. She fails, but uses a legendary resistance. However, at 6th level, FCG can target 2 other creatures: themself and Fearne. They are drifting in a grayish space, together -- and they start transforming into clouds. Banishment lasts for a minute, and turning into clouds takes a minute. FCG got a telepathic message out, and the rest of the party starts turning into clouds in response -- but before that happens, Laudna uses hunger of the shadow on the Willmaster. She was at one hit point, so it kills her instantly -- Laudna hears the creaking of branches, the shadowed memory of a dead tree crawls past her shoulders as she feels the welcoming cold of Delilah fill her spirit. So much stronger than Laudna's pity is her hunger, and the Willmaster's reddish flesh turns to ash gray, the eyes go snow-blind. Before she fades, Laudna says, "your power should've been mine, not the halfling's." Delilah responds: "Very good. Very, very good, my dear. Now, on to the next."

""the halfling"" I swear to god--

They turn into clouds. Just as the banishment ends, FCG and Fearne transform, and there's already a search party scattered -- they both take a bit of damage, but they fly away, FCG barely standing -- and their 300ft speed outpaces Otohan, even though she tries to catch them with a massive leap that brought her 90 feet in the air. They're safe, reconvening with everyone else as mist -- for now.

It's not that Otohan can track Imogen, it's that something she did -- likely reaching out to Predathos -- sent up a ping to the Ruidusborn network.

They decide to head toward the city, but to make contact with the Volition outside of it rather than actually entering it like Otohan expects them to.

And now we're traveling, rolling for travel encounters while the cleric is out of spell slots. It's only a storm, though, and they take shelter. In a canyon/crevice, they find a river that barely crests the surface as it spirals underground. They follow the cave it carves into a chamber almost 300 feet down, where water is pooling; and beneath it, a submerged cave. (well, somebody read Underland.)

Fearne prepared water breathing! Excellent. So they all de-cloud, cast water breathing, and proceed to cave-dive.

As they enter the cave, its smells are familiar to Chetney -- less like Ruidus and more like Exandria. As they emerge in an open-air cavern beyond the subterranean caves, they see buildings, carved, man-made -- above them, what appears to be a temple, crumbled, embedded in the rock. It's of elven make, but very, very old -- pre-Calamity, at least.

They climb, and they can see greenery. Unique sections of enchanted gardens, giving off gentle glows from magical orbs. There's no sunlight here, there's not a lot of air, but something about the enchantments have provided everything necessary for growth.

There's no evidence of animal movement here, but there are bones: fossilized, embedded in the stone, not traumatic but as if they were transported along with the city, locked in a moment of time. The architecture here is prototypical of contemporary elvish buildings.

Chetney uses grim psychometry on the bones, but it fails -- "it's like grasping for a fleeting memory that's just beyond reach. You see images, flashes of a blue sky that goes red. Fear, acceptance, but nothing beyond feelings and emotions. The rest just slips away, too old or too alien for you to grasp."

They continue to explore deeper, going along the cave, and come upon a garden with berries remaining on the bush. To the right, there is a delicate, faintly-painted, well-crafted doll. Elven features, gentle eyes, long ears, golden hair, a disheveled blouse -- a child's toy. Laudna picks it up and takes it with her. (something something about Laudna assigning the role of a child to other people because she refuses to assign it to herself, yada yada)

An investigation check reveals that there is either some volcanic activity here, causing the creation of glass, or the sheer amount of heat generated by Ruidus' formation caused parts of this structure to fuse when it was sheared from Exandria.

(also, all the berries are goodberries! they collect them all to restore some hitpoints.)

There is no rainfall on Ruidus as far as they've seen, so this water must be coming from somewhere, and Orym thinks that the spring of this river -- just upstream from them -- is the portal to Exandria that produces the spring.

Fearne transforms into a salmon to swim upstream, and eventually gets there: 80 feet up-stream, she breaks into still water, with light above -- and breaching the surface, she sees cloudy gray day, in a space she doesn't recognize, in a forest with snow falling in the distance -- Exandria.

[tangents-within-tangents]

The thing about the "Clone Rebellion" show

I've become a lot more critical of The Bad Batch lately and I think I realized that’s because it’s over. 

That means that 1. I can look back on the whole show retrospectively, and 2. any issues or hopes I had no longer have a chance to be addressed or resolved.

I realized I’ve been very caught up in thinking about the missed potential of the show, and a lot of my disappointment/frustration with the direction TBB took (esp in regards to the "reg" clones) is coming from the fact that a Clone Rebellion show does not exist to make up for it. For now this is all we have, and it’s hard for me to just accept TBB for what it is, because I at least have been operating under the assumption that this is all we're going to get, that this fabled spin-off show is just not going to happen. 

Because here’s the thing: We all kinda talk about it as if it's a given, a not if but when, but as far as I can tell the concept came entirely from the fans. Just speculation and wish-fulfillment. I don’t really keep up with news/interviews/behind the scenes stuff, but I’m pretty sure there have never been any mentions from official sources (y'all freaked out about one animation job listing that could be for literally anything). If there's something I’ve missed let me know, but for now at least there have been no announcements or plans or anything.

The only thing really is that the gaps left in TBB feel like intentional setup (we never got an Echo and Rex solo episode like we did with Crosshair and Cody which feels like they are saving it for something else, Echo’s fate was specifically left open-ended by not mentioning him (for better or for worse) in the epilogue, Emerie joins them at the end setting up for a female character to be in the main cast, etc) but that still doesn’t guarantee that we will ever actually get a show. That feels more like leaving the possibility open, not necessarily making plans. Especially since TBB actually puts any potential Clone Rebellion show in a really weird position:

There's a lot of important clone-relevant stuff going on during TBB (like Order 66, Kamino, the stormtrooper bill, Tantiss) but I doubt they would go back and show that again since it would either be repetitive by rehashing TBB’s timeline, or confusing by relying too much on people having watched another show. Yeah most people probably would have, but that still doesn’t work very well narratively if your important beats are just implied and happening offscreen. Like I would kill to see more of Nemec and Fireball but then they would just disappear after being killed off (for pretty much no reason) in another show! Hemlock and Tantiss base were designed specifically to be clone-centered threats, and the underground network were the ones who actually spent time searching for it, but then they weren’t there for the rescue so there would be no resolution. But if we instead pick up at the end of TBB it seems like most clones have already been phased out of the Empire by then anyway. Yes you could still make things work either way and come up with new plots and stuff but it’s still a tight spot to be in and it doesn’t really feel like the writers took that into account.

Whether we do get another show or not, I think it still had a negative impact on TBB though. Like that show already had a cameo problem, but 'setting up potential future show at the expense of the current one' is such an issue in any media (esp Star Wars and Marvel these days). Since we got pieces of both 'important stuff happening to the clones' and 'fun mercenary adventures with the Batch' rather than just committing to one or the other, or equally to both, it just causes issues for both shows. I’ve been working on a full post about the lost potential, but for now I’ll summarize as:

It hurts TBB bc we get these glimpses of a more meaningful story that our main characters, the ones the show decides to dedicate screen time to, choose not to participate in. It’s like that trope/bad writing thing where the story they mention (Budapest, or like the Cullens' backstories) sounds more interesting than the one they are actually showing us. Like it’s okay that the Batch didn’t take the same route as Echo and Rex, but the route they did take should be of equal or greater importance/intrigue, and it just really wasn’t. It was mostly directionless side quests and that made the characters seem selfish and a lot of the plots feel filler-y because there are so many important things going on elsewhere. 

It's just starting to feel unlikely that we'll get TWO post-RotS "clone-centered" shows, so why waste the one we did get avoiding the more important clone-centered storyline? Why not at the least equally divide the time you did have between the Batch and Echo and Rex? Why make an ensemble show if you're not going to try to actually balance all the characters? Why bring back a fan favorite clone just to push him to the sidelines and ignore all his potential? Why focus on the "clones" who aren't affected by/don't care about clone issues?

Believe me, I still want a show focusing on Rex and Echo's efforts to save the clones (I just wish it was the show we got in the first place)! I genuinely hope that we will get this show someday, not just because I love clones and this concept, but because I really see a need for it, there's a lot of gaps and potential to be filled there (which is also why I'm okay waiting bc frankly I don't trust the current state of Star Wars writers to properly handle that potential). But I’m treating it with a more “not until proven otherwise” approach (because we all know what happens when we get our hopes up lolll). So for now this is what we have, and unless that changes, I think we should treat it as such.

A lot of times when I see people mention the idea of a new show it's as a way to fix any issues within TBB. Like ‘this wasn’t resolved that well, maybe in the clone rebellion show…’ ‘Maybe Tech could still come back in the clone rebellion show’ ‘Maybe Crosshair’s character arc could be more complete…’ etc. But again we don’t know for sure if there ever will be another show, and even if there is, TBB should be able to stand on its own. There are some things I think another show could do (like address the plot hole of why the Empire never came back to Pabu, or actually doing something with the CX troopers) but narratively it does not work for major plot arcs or character development like that to be resolved elsewhere (like how a major Mandalorian plot point happened in the middle of TBOBF???). If we do get a Clone Rebellion show I don't think it would make much sense for the Batch to play much of a role in it. TBB ended with a clear send off for those characters, whether that was fully satisfying to you or not, that was the narrative intention. The Batch could show up as cameos, but this wouldn’t be their story anymore, and we know it couldn’t be because they were very intent on retiring and clearly never cared much about the regs or Empire so why would they suddenly change their minds?

A Tech lives plotline would have to be centered on the Batch, that’s his family, but that would just be really out of place in a separate show, especially post-finale (which confirmed that Tech did not come back in canon (at least until Omega joins the rebellion, if you want to be nitpicky ig)). There always could be ways to make it work anyway if you really wanted to, but we saw what retcon battles did to the Sequel Trilogy, and it still wouldn’t really fix any problems in TBB as a show. I’ve said it before, but if the writers were going to bring Tech back then they simply would/should have (they knew season 3 was the final season and they had plenty of time which they spent fighting space gators and whatnot instead).

I'm not saying this to spoil the fun or like dash anyone's hopes or anything. I don't actually know any more than anyone else, I have no impact on what Disney and Lucasfilm do (and clearly they don't really care about making narratively functional choices anyway, get roasted). For all I know this post could age horribly. I just had some thoughts to get off my chest, because I think it’s unproductive to judge TBB based on the idea of an unconfirmed potential other show--that does not (yet?) exist and wouldn't be about them--instead of looking at it for what it is. 

TBB is over. Canon happened, what we have is what we got. We can love it and hate it and critique it and write our au’s and fix-its, but I really think that it’s done. We have to make space for endings, that's an important part of storytelling (which is also why they need to be well-written but whatever). And we also have to make space for other stories to be told. The Batch had their show, they spent the screen time they had on what they did. Those characters got their time and they got a happy ending wrap up, and now it's (hopefully) time to let some other clones take the spotlight.

[ranticore]

answering asks in a big batch post

my god u guys are curious

nah I don't think they live that long. the matriarchs maybe will take several generations of rider but for the average workers i don't believe their lifespan would be much longer than a human's. maybe an extra 10 or 20 years over the human average, in which case they would be retired (and likely grieving)

@illbecreativelater thank you bestie... yeah absolutely, any recommendations of the pern books need to have a big "this was written in the 1960s" disclaimer attached lol. i have a real soft spot for them for the sci-fi disguised as fantasy aspect, and the plotline of people coming together to rediscover lost technology - if someone reads it purely for dragon riding i think they'd be disappointed. i find it interesting how it launched a genre but the most unique aspects of the story (aforementioned sci-fi elements) were not really replicated in other dragon riding fiction. also um obligatory plug for Said The Black Horse if you like Pern Story since that's where all the characters come from (no dragons tho)

idk

hfkjsg i'm kidding, I didn't think I'd put this much thought into the prehistory stuff so it's still patchy and not internally consistent. re: the mages, they did not go willingly at ALL and it was not the crime of one group - it was unable to be conclusively proven (behind closed doors) what started the "portals spewing out inorganic killing machines" problem. each had dirt on the other and they all stabbed eachother in the back over it during the ensuing tribunals (and it was because Revelation had no leverage over the others that it became the fall guy). there were only a handful of mages in reality, and one of them was fully exonerated and became the judge who gave the sentence and the ensuing punishment. the options presented to the mages were "submit or die", with submission being contingent on their future lives as underground pest control monsters.

the magic was not like dnd wizard magic. it was more esoteric - a study like alchemy which could not actually be weaponised. wizards were vulnerable to physical attack. they weren't throwing out lightning bolts or fireballs, and away from their laboratories, helpers, and equipment, they couldn't cast spells at will. they were, as it turns out, very stoppable. far from the most powerful people in the world - the ability to manipulate the fabric of reality is all well and good but if you don't have a rich patron or king giving you unlimited funding it's not like you can do much. the spell of Turn Into Monster was the last piece of magic powered by extra-dimensional sources before those sources chose to stop humouring spellcasters, and it took years to implement.

magic could not handle the new threat. they tried and failed. it was very much a "i opened a portal to the void to see if it would make my dinky little orrery spin, and something in the void stared back" situation, where that 'something' was not controllable by magical means. the events at Amphora were greater than just a stream of crawling beasts (again, where Amphora once sat there is now a vast plain of completely flat, empty land)

anyway i still need to seal up some of the gaps but essentially, wizards caused the mess collectively, were unable to stop it, and then turned viciously on one another when it became clear their magic wasn't helping and their patrons were no longer willing to support them. many of them were torn from their laboratories by the vengeful public and few survived long enough to see their new lives as wyrms.

Dark age/renaissance/industrial revolution: yes kind of! Even the generations of people directly following the original settling of Siren were forced to live essentially stone-age lives despite being fully aware of technology like LEDs or rocket engines. The mineral composition of Siren made metals really hard to come by, and without an established Industrial Sector they struggled to produce things like medicine (the ol' 'how will you make insulin' question again) and they were shit outta luck for microchips or computers. they could farm, they could make primitive refineries, but it was increasingly clear that if they wanted to reproduce the conveniences of modern Earth life, it would have to be developed again from scratch using only the materials available on Siren. And the more decrepit the original settlement ruins became, the harder it was to access knowledge of the old world, and for a while many societies on Siren were subsistence farmers/hunters only. this dark age birthed many superstitions and myths that persist today, and the theory of 'predecessors' who were like gods who'd come to Siren to populate it with their creations. normally i wouldn't believe stuff like this could happen but tbh i've seen people go full anti-vax in real time and it only takes a few generations of that for entire belief systems to spring up and warp the truth.

the renaissance era is Qedivar's time, it's when the University is at its peak and the study of the natural world and its phenomena has become more science than superstition, it is an era of rapidly expanding knowledge. Industrial Revolution has not taken place however it's not far off on the horizon; the most 'modern' cast of characters I have is a whaling crew in a metal-hulled, coal-powered ship.

which forms of government were most prevalent during the existance of Sirenian civilization? which forms exist currently?: the first Sirenian government was a military dictatorship formed in secret with the first rebels at the helm, which dissolved once its stated goals had been met and the settlement had been destroyed. after that there was an attempt at republicanism but ultimately different groups drifted apart instead of staying all in one place, forming small scattered enclaves around the western continent, usually ruled by whoever chose to go out there and start farming. these developed into villages. pelagic villages in some regions are still ruled by a patriarch (gender neutral) selected by a council of elders based on who has the most experience. there have been as many forms of government over the years across the planet as you can imagine, probably. notably, most of the Eastern continent is ruled by whoever is currently the president of the University. for most prevalent I'd say some form of council, elected or not. but on the eastern coast of the Eastern continent there exists Siren's only bloodline monarchy as well, and that still persists into the renaissance era.

was there any sort of access to advanced knowledge that helped them during the social/cultural/technological development? Not particularly; although people went to Siren specifically to make a settlement and live there, it was never intended to be permanent. when permanently settling other planets (for example, the ship that brought people to Siren originated on another planet, Ceti, and not Earth) the effort would usually be far more robust and massive databanks would provide people with knowledge. the settlement had 3D printers to produce clothing and day to day objects when needed, but they were sabotaged by the last non-allied unmodified humans when it became clear their cause was lost. they also had basic wikipedia level databanks which were stored within their own servers (i.e no cloud backups or anything and no connection to anything outside Siren), which were subject to flood damage and also more sabotage via crowbar, in an attempt to hide from future access what had been done within the genetic lab. parts of the databanks were later able to be accessed (it's how Qedivar got all that information about Ishmael) but as mentioned above, the knowledge was scarce and all but useless. it'd be like a caveman finding a manual for how to turn on a wifi router, but there's no wifi, no router, and no materials to make any of those things.

some of the harpy visors contained the photo albums (3D and immersive videos included) of the pilots who once wore them, which provided a glimpse into Earth or Ceti. they also had digital maps which greatly aided in navigating Siren; there was never any era of exploration, as the geography of the planet was known from the start.

had things like feudalism/class inequality/slavery still emerged, regardless? yes but in small and isolated areas, as the population density of Siren overall is extremely low and it was difficult for anyone to concentrate enough power in one place to enact widespread feudalism or start up a formal slave trade. the monarchy described above does engage in feudalism, for example. class inequality is very pronounced in places like the University but classes are not defined by wealth, rather by scholarly ability. in the west coastal areas of the Eastern continent it is common to simply not have any relationship with your blood relatives on the basis of that relation; that is, even if you know who your parents are (a very rare occurrence). this makes it difficult to concentrate class power via bloodline, and why the monarchy is wildly different and kind of an unthinkable novelty to everyone outside it lol.

[awellboiledicicle]

Mo the Human is doing the stuff to prep for Subira under protest.

Like they literally flat tell Tish theyvwould otherwise not do this.

In this vein, literally everything but the bed frame will be there when she shows up. It will arrive exactly three hours after Subira does.

Mo will insist, to Subira, that it was totally their fault and it was just hard getting ahold of the materials.

To Tish they'll just.

"I wanted the cop to think she had to sleep on the floor for a bit. Just long enough for her to accept that."

"Why? Are you trying to get us in trouble with the order??"

"Oh no, I just thought it would be funny." A scowl as they crossed their arms. "If I wanted to get people in trouble, I'd have put nails in the mattress."

"Mo???"

"I said would have!" They held up their hands in supplication. "Its your name on the line, so I didn't!"

Tish pinches the bridge of her nose.

"Look, I know why *we* don't like the Order, but you have literally nothing to worry about from them! Why do you care?"

A slow blink.

"Well, given they're the ones able to cast fireball? At my face? And general body?" A wave of their hand. "That. But also restricting knowledge. Arresting people for knowing about things or just wanting to know things. Smells like every tyrant in every story I've remembered so far."

"Yes, for us. But humans--"

"Tish." They held up a finger. "Are there laws restricting human activity?"

"No? Not that I know about." She raised an eyebrow at their solemn nod, not getting their point. "Isn't that good for you?"

They shrugged and stared very intently at the ceiling lamp.

"In theory. But that also means theres probably not laws *protecting* humans, either." They looked back to see if her expression had changed. It mostly remained frustrated, which was fair. "My point is, if there is no law on the books that says harming a human is illegal, that means the enforcement arm of the government will exploit that. It's like if there was a time before murder was officially illegal."

"That seems a bit extreme."

"Tish, cops are cops are cops are tools for making people obey the government the law serves. Sometimes the laws have more positive than negative consequences, but its puppet strings all the way down." Another frown as they waved their hands, trying to will their point into being. "Anyway, Jonny Law squatting at the inn means trouble. Even for people who don't knowingly break the law."

"I think you're getting paranoid because you were late on the delivery."

The sighed and offered a shrug.

"Here's hoping! Have a good day Tish! I'll try to try out those new recipes for you!"

And Mo promptly slipped into the Underground and asked Zeki how much he'd like them to cover for Reth because Zeki knows what he's doing. Reth has to be in the same building as this woman until she leaves.

Mo might not know the full depth of the shit happening, but they're also like. Very good with the idea that you do what you have to, so long as no one dies. That's their line.

Imagine they're the neighbor of a moonshiner when the tax man shows up.

"I dont know shit, fuck off"

[the-liberal-lion]

Janel's article that she wrote for Airmail.News

Tangled Up in The West Wing

On the 25th anniversary of Aaron Sorkin’s beloved political drama, Janel Moloney—who played the idealistic Donna Moss—grapples with the show’s role in her life

By Janel Moloney

September 14, 2024

Reading Time: 4 minutes

The other day, an overcast but hot Sunday, I blow-dried my hair, put on makeup for once, and took my kids uptown. My husband and I were taking our 12- and 14-year-old sons to the Paley Center for Media, in New York City, where there was an exhibition celebrating the 25th anniversary of the premiere of The West Wing. The ticket guy, pale with thick round glasses and a swipe of sandy hair, asked me if I was a fan. I told him yes, I most definitely was.

As we walked into the exhibition, the boys teased me about not being recognized. I told them to stop, that it was just his job, that last week there was a Barbie show and next week was Sponge Bob, so shush, he can’t know us all.

I walked up to the enormous mural of the cast stretched across the museum’s lobby, my hands perched on the shoulders of Brad Whitford, who played Josh. I contemplated the eight-foot image of myself, young and small-waisted with my future deliriously undefined before me, and, strangely, I didn’t feel bad. I had thought I might. That to be around artifacts of that exquisite time might make me feel like an ancient whiskered crone or just plain sad, the glory of that period starkly put up against my regular life. But it wasn’t the case. I felt like I always do around that life-defining job, one that never seems to fade, never seems to recede like a normal past: grateful.

When I told my sister, Meegan, I was going to write something about The West Wing, she asked me what I was going to say. I said I didn’t know. I told her that Donna was my longest relationship, pre-dating my children and my husband, and that my perspective was skewed, the image never really in my rearview mirror, never finding much distance.

“That’s because it’s in your side mirror, dude,” she said on the phone. And it’s true. The show has not stopped but seemingly gotten more popular, remaining in the Zeitgeist, surging when people need political comfort—which these days is always—and amassing new devotees every day. And Donna, my cheerful, smart, vulnerable, funny-as-hell shadow, I’ve accepted as a part of me, like a face tattoo but adorable.

Every day of my life, for the past 25 years, someone has come up to me to tell me about their love of the show.

When I met Donna, 25 years ago, I opened up Aaron’s wonderful pilot script and read the first line of my scene and thought, “Oh. O.K. I get it. Donna loves Josh.” And that was it. The center of my wheel, the fulcrum from which it all spun for seven years. Every issue I fought for, every question I asked, came essentially from that flame, the need to impress or protect, to be seen or appreciated by him. Donna loves Josh.

And it was easy because flirting with Brad, falling in absolute pretend creative love with him and the rest of the cast, was the privilege of my professional life. And really that’s the fun of acting. Letting it all get messy and fluid, your feelings caught up in a tangle of joy, passing the fireballs of words back and forth, not knowing what will happen next.

“Hey, guys, look, this was one of my costumes,” I said to my kids, pointing out a magenta dress with a fitted blazer worn by a faceless mannequin. They may have grunted something. “This is so cool,” my husband said, stepping beside me as I looked at the collection of fake White House IDs. After all these years, my husband has accepted Donna as a member of our family, like marrying a set of twins.

After we headed out, stopping to take pictures with a few surprised fans, I thought about the clothes. As we navigated the throngs of tourists on Sixth Avenue, I could feel the heavy wool skirts, the jackets that our designer, Lyn Paolo, fitted to my slender shoulders. I could hear the click of my heels on the polished marble floors. It was all so much fun.

The last time I stepped into Donna’s costume was for an HBO special raising money for voting rights in 2020. I remember loving getting to be onstage, all of us together. The words came easily, but I realized quickly, with something in the neighborhood of relief, that the fit was not quite right. Donna’s unbridled optimism, her need for Josh, her abject youth, was something that I had grown out of. Like Donna did at the end of the series, I had evolved into my own woman. I married my husband, had two children, and, unlike Donna’s life, my life was absolutely real.

And so, after 25 years, it seems I will continue to live with Donna there in my side mirror, always in my peripheral vision. And I’m O.K. with that. Our journey together keeps going. The beauty of art, of modern television really, is that anytime you want to see her, anytime I do, she will be there. She will be waiting, in her dynamic amber, with C.J. and Toby, Charlie, and Josh with their paper files and Nokia cell phones, ready to cheer us up.

Janel Moloney is an actress living in Brooklyn. She can be seen in the upcoming Better Sister, on Amazon Prime

Here is the link

[ipostdumbthings]

Moonlit Dinner Date

Pairing: Gale/Tav

Characters: Gale, Tav, Astarion, Karlach

Rating: G

Genre: Romantic Fluff

Summary: Gale returns to camp one evening to discover a wild magic mishap from sorcerer Tav. Pre-relationship.

It was still fairly early in the evening when Gale found himself strolling back into camp, clean for the first time in days. Camp had been made late in the afternoon, they’d stopped near a river and a turn order was quickly established to get everyone in camp a turn to a small but blissful amount of privacy, and freedom from the muck and sweat. He was still toweling off his hair when he stepped foot in camp proper,only to find himself almost bumping directly into a certain pale companion of the vampiric persuasion. The look on the elf’s face made it clear that he’d been waiting for Gale for a while now, a look that said “you’re wasting my time”. The wizard didn’t love how often he saw it.

“Here’s something I never thought I’d say, but thank the gods you’re here Gale we need your help.” It might have been a jab at him, but Astarion wasn’t wielding his particularly cruel tone of voice, did Gale actually detect something genuine there? He opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off immediately, not by the man before him, but by the bleating of a sheep. Of course. He didn’t need to look, but he did anyway, sidestepping the elf to join the camp proper. Not too far from the fire was a sheep, a rope tied loosely to its neck to keep it from wandering off. Affectionately petting and tending to it was Karlach, who looked all the more excited to see Gale.

“Tav?” He asked, already so certain of the answer, but received further confirmation when he spotted the bowl of water someone had laid beside the sheep with the name “Tav '' hastily painted on the side, no doubt Karlach’s work. It could be hard to believe that a woman of so much heat could have such a soft heart.

“Yes, she got a little bold with her spell casting I’m afraid,” Astarion replied, a certain quirk to the corner of his mouth indicating just how funny he found all this. It had endlessly fascinated Gale just how well Tav could get along with everyone here, and how someone with so much kindness and concern for others could find genuine affection and camaraderie with someone like Astarion. He was certain for the elf’s part, the friendship had mostly been a great source of amusement, provided he was well outside the blast radius when something went wrong. But Tav had disagreed with Gale during one of their chats about that, well not entirely, she knew Astarion found it funny when her magic went awry, but she was positive there was a genuine connection of trust and friendship between them. That was getting off track though, there was very much a situation he was faced with, one that was frankly frustrating, and should’ve been avoided based on his and her previous conversations. He heaved a sigh so deep he felt it in his soul.

“I specifically asked her not to cast her magic in camp for this reason. Could’ve been a fireball that sent all the tents up in flames,” he said, adopting a chastising tone as he addressed the sheep more than the two people. Sorcerer’s and wizards rarely saw eye to eye under the best of circumstances, given their different philosophies, their different experiences with magic. Sorcerers took magic for granted, and the one type of sorcerer you didn’t want with that sort of flippant attitude was one of wild magic, and yet Tav seemed blissfully unconcerned by the chaos she was capable of wreaking. He’d hope she’d learn something from this, but he knew better.

“Oh, no, that’s not what we need help with,” Astarion said, his genuine delight only seeming to swell.

“When you say it like that Astarion, it makes me feel like we’ve been arseholes,” Karlach said sounding like a guilty child. She even wore a pout. 

“She’s got grass, we put down a clean water bowl for her, her precious sheepish heart yearns for nothing. Frankly I wish people tended to my needs the way we’ve been keeping her for the better part of the half hour.” The elf sounded defensive, but not in a way that indicated he felt bad in the slightest for anything that was happening. Gale pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a certain weariness he imagined his mother must have felt when she was dealing with his youthful magical indiscretions.

“If it’s not about Tav the sheep, then what exactly did you need?” The question was quick, clipped, and demanded an answer.

“Well, it’s not not about Tav and her adorable little hooves.” The way Karlach emphasized the last three words was further hammered home by her taking Tav’s sheep face in her hands and cooing at her.

“It’s a bet,” Astarion said, and could not suppress a grin as he spoke, “we were wondering if, someone were to… shear her, you know, shave off all the wool, while she’s a sheep…” 

“Would she pop back to being a human bald or naked? And what would happen to the wool when she turned back? Would that be her hair? Her clothes? Or would it stay wool?” Karlach finished the question, redirecting her gaze back to Gale with genuine curiosity. He blinked at the absurdity of the question, at the knowledge that they had been patiently waiting for him for half an hour just to ask. Karlach didn’t surprise him as much, but he would’ve assumed Astarion for the sort to get to the bottom of the matter himself.

“Ah. Well, I can't say I’ve ever tried it. Honestly I’m impressed at the restraint you’ve shown in not simply attempting it yourself.” He’d said it as a joke, but the look on Karlach’s face had the deep sigh renewed.

“We thought about it, but I’m too pretty for such a menial task, Karlach is too afraid of hurting her, and Halsin gave us a very stern ‘no’ and that same disapproving look you seem to be wearing right now.” Well, at least someone in the camp could be trusted to behave like an adult. He held Astarion’s gaze for several moments, making sure he fully expressed said disappointment, before finally looking back at the popular subject of the evening, Tav. He should still be irritated, but he had to admit the question was an interesting one, and far be it from him to not indulge the curiosity of others in regards to magic. Even if he didn’t exactly have an answer.

“Ignoring the ethical implications of you two attempting to shave one of your friends while they’re completely indisposed, hypothetically-“ he was cut off when the sheep made eye contact with him, and he felt the sudden, intense connection brought on by the tadpoles locked in their brains. For just a moment it didn’t make sense, just sheep sounds and flashes of the grass on the ground at the camp, but then he felt it: the disappointment. The sheep held his gaze, drifting to thoughts of the clearing nearby, the one with bright green grass.

“Wait. What just happened?” The words from Karlach pulled him from the moment, and his bewildered stare must have made it obvious.

“Did she just use the tadpole on you?” Astarion sounded positively delighted, the airy laugh erupting from him. Gale glared.

“Oh was it Tav-Tav, or Sheep-Tav? Why didn’t she do it to me? I was just staring into her little face?” Karlach asked with a mix of absolute whimsy and disappointment. She gently rested her hands under Tav’s face to coax the sheep to look at her again.

“Don’t take it personally, Karlach, she’s not really Tav right now, she’s well and truly a sheep,and you two were wrong about her wanting for nothing, she wants better grass.” With that he crossed the space to his tent and returned everything he’d taken for his bath, then snatched up a book. There was no telling how long it would take for Tav to become human again, and she’d been very clear about what she wanted. He could sit with her for a while as she indulged in sheepish pleasures.

“Shit are we being bad sheep guardians?” Karlach asked with a groan, she did start untying the rope from the stake in the ground, which she handed over to Gale when he approached.

“Do you mean shepherds?” Astarion asked, but Gale was very much through with the tom-foolery of the evening. Taking the rope in hand, he gave Tav the gentlest of tugs to get her moving.

“I’m going to take her to a clearing nearby, if she’s going to return to humanity with the taste of grass in her mouth it might as well be good grass.” Tav may have frustrated him at times to no end, but there was no denying that he respected her. Valued her, even. She was competent at decision making under catastrophic circumstances, unwaveringly compassionate to those in need, and a damn fine friend to anyone that allowed her to be. There were times that his fondness for her only increased his frustration about her casual disposition to her brand of chaos. He wanted her to care enough to take care of herself, to be careful. But he supposed, at least for the time being, she had him to do the worrying for her. Seemed a few others were up to the task too.

“Don’t forget her water bowl, Gale, I put her name on it and everything, you know, for next time it happens.” Karlach almost spilled the water bowl in her haste to hand it over, genuinely concerned he may leave it behind. The wizard took the bowl with a small bow of his head, yes even when he wasn’t around to watch after her, Tav was usually in good hands.

“I’m certain she’ll be touched by the kind gesture. Now come along, Tav.” With that, he gave another gentle tug on the rope, and sheep Tav seemed to know exactly what to do, which he supposed made sense, she had requested this.

—

He did have to give her credit for good timing, though, it was a lovely night. Stars twinkling above, the moon brilliantly lighting their little clearing. The air was cool, but not cold. A nice gentle breeze carried the sounds of the night time wildlife beginning their evening. Perfect night to sit with a book and enjoy the world for all its splendor.Even the company was pleasant, now satisfied with the grass she had available Tav was content to silently wander and munch nearby. He’d take breaks from the page to glance up at her to make sure she was fine, and frankly marvel at how he managed to enjoy her presence even as a sheep.

The two had shared many late night evening talks, mostly about the sort of things one expects a wizard and a sorcerer to discuss. Magic and its nature, mysteries of the universe, that sort of thing. They talked about other things, and he was constantly amazed by how much he enjoyed those chats just as much as he enjoyed the ones on his favorite subjects. Even in these trying times she approached life with enthusiasm, with passion and joy. Not to say she wasn’t aware of the impending doom that loomed above them, she’d let slip her air of exuberant confidence a few times to reveal just how deeply afraid she was. He’d realized then that she was attempting to shoulder all the worries of the team, that she’d been determined to be the source of comfort and hope when they couldn’t be one to themselves. He didn’t envy her. He did want to help her though. Which was yet another reason he was sitting out here with her.

It was a wonderful, quiet hour that past, and sheep Tav had settled in the grass and was deep into a snore when the magic dispelled. One moment a sheep snoozed happily, the next there was Tav. She sat up quickly, facing away from Gale. She twisted her head back and forth before rising to her feet. When she finally spotted Gale she broke into a big grin. A big, beautiful grin. She looked relieved to see him, happy to see him. He blinked back at her, and felt something stir in his chest that felt suspiciously like his heart fluttering. He hoped it was dark enough that she’d miss the faint tingle of redness on his cheeks he felt forming. A moment passed before he realized he was staring at her, and he quickly cleared his throat to break the silence.

“You should know, your dear friends seriously debated shearing you in pursuit of scientific curiosity,” he said, he’d intended his tone to be more chastising, after all he had asked her not to cast in camp for a reason. But his heart wasn’t in that, not at the moment, not with her looking at him like he was her safety, her comfort. It came out as the gentle, affectionate tease it truly was. Of course he knew he’d been fond of her already, but that look on her face under starlit skies was forcing him towards some rather hasty and unexpected realizations about just how fond of her he was.

“Oh to see if I turn out bald or naked?” She asked with an easy laugh, as she took a seat on the ground directly beside him. The urge to put an arm around her was one of the hardest he’s ever had to suppress. He settled for tilting his head to the side as he peered at her, watching the expression of good humor form on her face. He was finding he liked that one quite a bit too.

“A question you seem to have pondered quite a bit yourself,” he remarked.

“Well I’ve spent more than my fair share of time as a sheep. Always wondered why it was a sheep. Honestly, the universe probably knows I’d be too powerful as a cat.” She was looking directly into his eyes as she spoke, and he found himself even more acutely aware of how close they were and how intimate this moment between them was. The idea of her as a cat, however, was enough to get a laugh from him. Surely she’d be the sort to knock everything over, to break all your favorite things, and just when you were sure it was time to get rid of her, cuddle up on your lap and make you love her all over again.

“With your predisposition for chaos? I suspect you may be right.” He loved the way that made her laugh, the way her nose crinkled as her whole face lit up. She gave him a gentle shove on the shoulder, and he made a mental note to ensure an abundant future of that. She finished laughing and for a brief moment she sat and peered up at the stars before she looked back to the grass she’d been eating not ago.

“Awfully nice of you, though, to bring me out to this lovely patch of Baldurian Bluegrass.” She looked thankful. He blinked at her, and then looked at the grass, and then back at her.

“… You know what type of grass this is?” He must have sounded incredulous from her next little laugh. Tav was not much of an expert on the great outdoors, she’d never successfully identified an animal track, knew absolutely no potion ingredients, and seemed to be allergic to most things they came in contact with. She smiled a knowing smile and shrugged her shoulders.

“When I realized that I would be spending a decent amount of time as a sheep, I started growing little patches of grass at home, and had some brought in from all sorts of places. I figured, you know, spoil myself.” It was his turn to laugh, he shouldn’t have been surprised in the first place. That was exactly the sort of thing Tav did. 

“Ah yes, exotic grasses from across the globe. Truly a feast fit for a sheep of your caliber.” He teased, and felt that flicker in his heart when her eyes were back to him.

“But the one I always eat the most is the boring one, Baldurian Bluegrass.But do you realize what that means?” She asks leaning just enough that it felt like they were conspiring about something together.

“I can’t even imagine what’s about to come out of your mouth.” It wasn’t the first time that had happened, and he knew with such certainty that it would far from be the last. It excited him in a way that he hadn’t expected it to.

“You just took me out for a nice moonlit dinner with my favorite food. If you keep this up, Gale, I’m going to think you’re into me.” It was a joke, he was certain. Wasn’t he certain? He could almost be bold enough to lean over and kiss her, to wrap that arm around her and hold her. To spend the evening like this teasing and talking together. Almost.

“We should get back to camp, Karlach will be both relieved and disappointed by your reversion,” he said and cursed himself for being a coward. Tav took pity on him it seemed, leaned in and kissed his cheek, and he felt his heart absolutely pound in his chest. She rose to her feet quickly thereafter and offered her hand to him to help him up, which he gratefully accepted.

“Thank you, Gale, for taking care of me,” and there was that smile again, but it didn’t linger for long, and she was quickly starting the short walk back to camp. He didn’t let her get too far ahead though.

“It was a privilege and an honor, my lady.” He did stop to pick up her water bowl though, with her luck it would be helpful soon enough.

[towards-toramunda]

Seeing a bunch of “dnd isn’t just for nerds!” and like… if you like dnd you’re a nerd. Yes its more mainstream now cause actual play shows have made it more accessible and a lot of people have learned how to play by osmosis through those shows, but… just because its mainstream doesn’t mean its “not just for nerds” like your gonna tell me someone who isn’t a nerd is gonna sit at a table with their friends and cast fireball at a group of goblins? Someone who isn’t a nerd is gonna be a DM? Someone who isn’t a nerd is gonna watch hundreds of hours of millennials playing dnd? Get outta here.

ALSO I have a theory that one of the other big reasons ttrpgs are becoming more popular (other than the critical role and dimension 20 of it all) is that people are very fucking lonely right now! And its hard to hang out with your friends when every time you see each other its just “so this thing happened at work”, but its a lot easier to hang out with your friends if you’re actively scheduling weekly or bi weekly meet ups to tell a story together. Ttrpgs are great for building communities and connecting with people and that is something a lot of people sorely need right now.

[wildissylupus]

Post so W I had to come in through the Wario door

Thank you but wtf-

I literally just posted that-

Dude you didn't just come in, you burst through that door like a fireball-

The door is gone-

Anyway glad someone liked it, it always irked me how so many people are immediately assuming that Porter is a villain when all he's really doing is being the Barbarian teacher. Cause of course he's not going to let Gorgug immediately multiclass, Gorgug has had a bad relationship with his anger since day one, he may be passing his classes but how can he expect to cast spells while raging when he avoids raging like the plague in regular situations.

Also I see people saying that Zara not telling Fig the name of her patron is a sign that she's working with Ankarna but.... teachers don't typically give students their partners names.

I also think that the advice they gave fig about being a paladin for Cassandra is good advice, yes, Fig has experienced doubt, that is a fundamental part of her character, but it doesn't motivate her like with Kristen. It's honestly similar advice that my own teachers give to me in my Uni course. What's always motivated Fig is conviction, is righteous fury, indignation about being lied to, and the love she has for her family. Yes, doubt has been a big part of Fig's life, but she didn't become a Paladin because she believed in Cassandra, in doubt, she did it because she believed in Kristen, her sister.

Basically what I'm saying is that Zara and, specifically, Porter, probably aren't bad people.

They're just good teachers.