#yeah yeah chronological order i know. family demanded it and family got it

[coe-lilium]

We're doing a family "marathon" (1 day, 1 movie) of Star Wars from I to VI and while mom fell asleep during Ep I (not that I can blame her, god, that movie badly needed an editor w an axe) she absolutely loved Ep II?

She absolutely eat up the romance and even the dialogue style, and reprimanded me when I was loudly going "Anakin I know you're a 19 with a penchant for drama but for fucks sake!".

Anyway, now she can't wait to see the other movies and after I told her it exist she's now even interested in the Kenobi series.

My mom, who loudly denounces her distaste for all movies/stories sci-fi or fantasy to all and who caved in and gave LOTR a chance only last year.

WILD.

[tsarisfanfiction]

Braids: Chapter 4

Fandom: Percy Jackson and the Olympians Rating: Gen Genre: Family Characters: Michael Yew, Apollo Cabin Moving on chronologically, from being the little brother, now we're in big brother territory! I have a discord server for all my fics, including this one!  If you wanna chat with me or with other readers about stuff I write (or just be social in general), hop on over and say hi! Character ages this chapter: Michael - 14 Sally - 11 Will - 11 Robyn - 13 <<Chapter 3

4) Sally

The first thing that greeted Michael when he traipsed into the infirmary on Lee’s orders – “you need practice taking stock checks, put that bow down and go do your chores first” – was Sally perched on the side of one of the beds, tears running down her cheek.  Will was hovering around her, looking lost, while Robyn, who was supposed to be supervising Will rather than leaving the kid to handle the infirmary alone, no matter how experienced he was, was out of sight.

Michael would deal with her later.  He was far more concerned at the sight of one of his younger sisters being a patient in the infirmary.  What the fuck had happened, and why hadn’t he heard about it?  Did Lee know?

“What happened?” he demanded, stepping up next to Will and catching sight of a cast on her arm.

Sally burst into a fresh display of tears and he turned his attention to Will to silently demand answers.  His younger brother still had one hand on the casted arm, but didn’t seem to be doing any more healing.

“She fell off a pegasus about an hour ago,” Will reported obediently, and Sally hiccupped, trying and failing to get her tears under control.  “Broken ulna.”

A pegasus?  “Please tell me it wasn’t in the air at the time.”  Michael was pretty sure it couldn’t have been – Sally wasn’t seriously injured, and a kid falling from an airborne pegasus definitely didn’t go unnoticed in camp.

Sally’s shake of the head was welcome confirmation, though.  It also drew Michael’s attention to the fact that her usually-braided hair was falling loosely around her ears and halfway down her back.  The girl sniffled again, wiping her face with her non-casted arm and doing absolutely nothing for the red-rimmed eyes and encrusted salty tear tracks forming.

Michael hated seeing his siblings cry.

“Will, go do stock take,” he ordered, well aware that Lee had told him to do it but also ignoring that fact.  What Will didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

“But…” his brother protested, looking at Sally worriedly, and Michael nudged him a little more firmly.  “Go, and track down Robyn so she can help you.”

Will looked at him for a few moments, glancing at the still-crying Sally, clearly torn, and okay, yeah, Michael was no-one’s first choice for infirmary duties (except stock take, according to Lee, but Michael knew that was because when Lee left next summer it would be his responsibility), or even dealing with crying people, but he wasn’t leaving that on Will.

He was the big brother, here.

Eventually, Will caved, giving Sally a careful hug.  “She’s had ambrosia already,” he reported, “and she can’t take any more painkillers for four hours.”

“Got it,” Michael acknowledged.  “Now shoo.  Go count things.”

Will gave him a look that in a few years would be stern instead of endearing and moved away, grabbing the clipboard and pen from where it hung by the stockroom door and slipping inside the cupboard.

Michael would deal with Lee’s disapproval for palming it off later, when either Will tattled or he saw the handwriting on the sheet.

For now, Sally.

She was still sniffling, and he pulled himself up to sit on the edge of the bed next to her.  From this angle, he could see that her hair, a pretty colour somewhere between brown and red, was a complete mess.

He reached out and plucked out a twig.  “Fall into a bush?” he asked, and she nodded.  He couldn’t see any scratches on her, but given Will had been in the vicinity, armed with nectar, and probably Robyn as well for all he couldn’t see her right then, simple bush-scratches would’ve disappeared almost immediately.

Michael hummed lightly, then dragged himself up onto the bed properly, folding his legs under him.  Sally had quite a lot of debris in her hair, and that was something he could do something about.

She didn’t react as he started extracting more leaves and twigs, but she didn’t pull away, either, so Michael busied himself with making sure everything came out, including the awkward twigs that had snarled themselves up in her hair so tightly that it took several minutes of careful teasing to release them.

He probably shouldn’t have been making a pile of foliage on one of their infirmary beds, but it was the easiest place to put it.  He’d clear it up later.  Sally’s sniffles quietened gradually as he worked, and by the time her hair was bush-free, she’d stopped crying, which was an unexpected bonus.

Her hair was still a mess, clearly frazzled from its experience, and Michael didn’t have a brush to hand so he had to make do with finger-combing it.  It took ages, because fingers were not the best tool for detangling knotted hair, but Sally seemed content to sit and wait for him to finish.

It wasn’t perfect when he was done, but at least she no longer looked like she’d been dragged through a hedge backwards.

“That better?” he asked her, aware of the audience he’d gained at some point but ignoring them.  Will and Robyn – wherever she’d reappeared from – had better things to do than stare at him and Sally, but he didn’t care enough to tell them to go do them.

Lee was going to have so many things to complain at him about when he found out about this.

“Mmhmm!” she nodded.  “Could you tie it up?”

Unlike most of their cabin, Sally actually had the habit of wearing spare hair ties and scrunchies around her wrist at all times, so Michael shrugged.  “Sure,” he said.

Given her hair wasn’t perfectly brushed, splitting it into the three sections for her customary braid was a bit more awkward, and they certainly weren’t the neatest sections Michael had ever prepared for a braid, but with some stubbornness and more finger combing he wrangled them into something workable.

“Since when could you braid?” Robyn demanded suddenly as he started to wrangle the three strands, outside into the middle, one side at a time.

Michael shot her a dull look, pausing in his manipulation of Sally’s hair for a moment to make sure he didn’t lose track of his progress.  He could braid without looking, but with Sally’s hair still being a bit rough, he wanted to be able to concentrate so it still looked good enough for his upset sister.  Unfortunately, the ability to concentrate was often a lot harder when Robyn was in the vicinity.

“Since I was ten,” he said flatly.

She gaped at him.  “Why am I only finding out about this now?” she demanded.  “Where have you been hiding this skill, Michael?”

“Not my fault you weren’t paying attention,” he told her.  “Don’t you have an infirmary to run?”

“Will, go run the infirmary,” Robyn said instantly.  The smirk she sent Michael was full of challenge and he scowled at her.

“I’m not your errand boy,” Will retorted, crossing his arms firmly in front of his chest.  “You’re responsible for the infirmary this shift, not me.  Do your own work.”

Michael returned to braiding Sally’s hair as his younger siblings started arguing, hiding his own smirk.

“So you’ll do Michael’s duties for him, but not mine?” Robyn complained.  “This is favouritism, Will.”

“Michael had more important things to do!” Will argued back.  “You just want to stare.”

“Like you’re not surprised Michael can braid hair, too.”

“Actually, I’m not.  I already knew.”

Robyn’s outraged squawk got a small giggle out of Sally.  “Was I the only one that didn’t know?”

“Yes,” Sally interjected, and out of the corner of his eye Michael saw Robyn throw her hands up in exasperation.

“Bullying!” she proclaimed.  “You’re all bullying me!  Michael, once you’re done with Sally, you’re doing my hair, got it?”

He shrugged noncommittally.  “Go do your duties and I’ll think about it.”

“That’s blackmail!” she protested, but to Michael’s relief she did actually obey, disappearing out of his periphery – but not without flicking the blue ends of her hair in his direction.

“She won’t leave you alone about that now,” Will pointed out unnecessarily.  Michael knew she was going to bug him until he did it, but that was for future Michael to deal with.  Current Michael was still concentrating on getting Sally’s unbrushed hair into an acceptably-neat braid.

“You’re supposed to be helping her,” he reminded him.  “She’s not the only one on duty right now.”

“I did your chore for you,” Will rebutted.  “I’m taking a break, and if Lee tells me off, I’m blaming you.”

“Brat,” Michael muttered, but Sally was giggling again, so he would take that.  Besides, Lee was already going to be telling him off for not doing what he was told; what was one more thing?  It wasn’t like Lee was ever going to scold Will.  A couple more twists of hair and the braid was finished.  “Which hair tie do you want me to use, Sally?”

She hummed, raising her unbroken arm so she could inspect the collection on her wrist.  “The black scrunchie,” she decided, offering her wrist to him so he could extract it from the rest of them.  It was difficult to do one-handed, and Will ended up sneaking in and doing it for him, complete with a smug look that said, see, you needed me here, didn’t you?

Michael ignored his brother, twisting the scrunchie around the base of the braid until it was snug.  It wasn’t pure black; most of it was a solid black colour, but it was edged with a thin line of gold.  Michael didn’t often see Sally actually use that one in her hair, but if that was the one she wanted, he wasn’t going to argue.

“All done,” he said instead, once he’d twisted it as many times as it would go.

He was not prepared for her to twist around and wrap her unbroken arm around him in an awkward hug.

“Thank you, Michael,” she mumbled into his shoulder, giving him a tight squeeze.  “Best brother.”

“Hey!” Will protested, and she giggled but didn’t take back her words.  Michael, in a fit of maturity, grinned smugly at his younger brother as he gave Sally a brief one-armed squeeze in response.

“You’re welcome,” he said.

Chapter 5>

[stargatenerd]

It’s WIP Wednesday and I wanted to post smth for VCPiS but I’m going to be posting the next chapter within the week so like what would even be the point of a preview of that, so instead here’s the first draft I wrote for when Izuku and Hitoshi meet face to face for the first time, which has since become a deleted scene.

This was originally set way further in the story, back when I thought I was going to be sticking closer to the canon Hannibal timeline (bc Izuku is Margot in this lol), but I’ve thrown much of that out the window, so their first meeting will happen much sooner and go quite differently than this. Originally I’d decided that the two of them would call each other their screen names until they got to know each other better and each of them would suggest a nickname that, unbeknownst to the other, was their hair color. I couldn’t remember what the Japanese word for “purple” was, and y’all when I tell you I fucking gaped when I looked it up and saw it was “murasaki”. I felt like it was fate or smth.

For those who may not know what I’m talking about: in the books Hannibal is raised by his aunt and uncle after his family dies, and his aunt’s name is Lady Murasaki (iirc no first name for her is ever given. It’s likely she’s named after one of the main characters of The Tale of Genji, Murasaki no Ue, sometimes translated as Lady Murasaki, or possibly the woman who wrote it, known as Murasaki Shikibu, though given the orientalism in the Hannibal books, it was probably the former). Considering other synonyms for purple (violet, indigo, etc) are all fairly popular first names for girls in Japan I felt even without the meta implications (Hannibal was in love with his aunt lmao) that the best purple nickname was Murasaki.

Later on when I was drafting their earliest chronological interactions I came up with the idea of Izuku having helped Hitoshi choose the characters for his name, and if that happened it would make more sense for Izuku to call him by the name he chose rather than continue to call him that nickname by the time present day of VCPiS rolled around.

So yeah, this whole bit won’t make it into the final fic but I keep the drafts of the things I write bc I’m a hoarder at heart, so I hope y’all enjoy this :3

***

What're you up to? he asked Midori.

Waiting to see my dad-ordered psychiatrist lmao, Midori replied with an upside-down smiley face. Fucking kill me

Hitoshi snorted. No, you have to suffer life like the rest of us.

My *real* best friend would shuffle me off this mortal coil >:(, Midori shot back.

If *I'm* your best friend I think you have more issues than just the daddy ones.

Pleeeease Murasaki just stab me, it'll be less painful than having to talk about my ~feelings~ ಥ_ಥ

Depends on where I stabbed you. Hitoshi shoved his phone in his pocket and opened the door to Hizashi's waiting room. His secretary was on honeymoon, so there was no- oh. There was a guy with curly green hair sitting there looking at his phone. Well, there went his plan of a quickie in between Hizashi's appointments.

He sat a few seats down from the other guy, who looked up briefly to acknowledge Hitoshi was there before turning his attention back to his phone.

Stab me in the heart like you just did with your words you heartless bastard x.x

When did this turn into Romeo and Juliet?

As if I'm not old enough for you ;P

Hitoshi felt his cheeks go red. And I'm not enough of a pretty boy for you, he shot back.

I'm sure you're plenty pretty!

I have eyebags big enough to hold all *my* daddy issues Midori, I'm not what you'd call "pretty".

Pff, they can't be any bigger than the ones on the guy who's sitting here with me. There was a slight delay, and then a picture loaded.

Hitoshi stared in disbelief at what was clearly a side shot of him, slumped in the waiting room chair looking particularly exhausted as he stared down at his phone. He whipped his head up, eyes wide. "Midori?" he demanded, voice cracking partway.

The green haired- fucking midori, holy fuck – guy's head shot up, with a particular deer in headlights look in his eye. "Huh?" he said intelligently.

"Midori," Hitoshi repeated, incredulous. He held his phone out, screen facing away from him. "Dude, what the fuck?"

The other boy squinted at the screen before those big green eyes got even bigger and his jaw dropped. He looked at Hitoshi, gaze flitting up to his hair before he squeaked out, "Murasaki?"

"You have fucking green hair, of course that's why you chose your contact name," Hitoshi groaned, grinning exasperatedly.

"Like your hair isn't purple!" Midori giggled. He got up from his seat and hauled Hitoshi in for a tight hug. "I told you that if we ever met IRL I'd give you the biggest hug, didn't I?"

Hitoshi chuckled, hugging Midori back just as hard. "Yeah, I remember."

He heard Midori gasp. "Oh my god." Midori pulled back, his eyes wide with glee. "Murasaki – my therapist is your sugar daddy."

Hitoshi went bright red. "Shutthefuckup!" he hissed, slapping a hand over Midori's mouth, who started to giggle. "He is not my sugar daddy!"

It was at this point, of course, that Hizashi's office door opened. "Am I interrupting something?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Nope!" Hitoshi quickly removed both hands from Midori's person, which did not go unnoticed. His friend gave him a Look that Hitoshi returned with a scowl.

"Just catching up with a friend Yamada-sensei," Midori explained cheerfully.

"Oh?" Hizashi looked between them. "I had no idea you were friends with Midoriya-kun, Hitoshi."

"Really?" Hitoshi asked, deadpan. "Your screenname is a goddamn pun?"

"Like you're one to talk, Insomnyac," Midori retorted.

Hitoshi retaliated maturely by sticking his tongue out at him.

"I will hug you again, and that is a threat," Midori said, a devious gleam in his eye.

[howmanyepsofmlseason6areleft]

1 EPISODE LEFT

Today, Qilin, episode 20, and Penalteam, episode 24, aired/got leaked, making 25 episodes that have aired so far.

Episodes Aired: Truth, Lies, Gang of Secrets, Mr. Pigeon 72, Psycomedian, Furious Fu, Sole Crusher, Queen Banana, Gabriel Agreste, Megaleech, Guiltrip, Crocoduel, Optigami, Sentibubbler, Glaciator 2.0, Hack San, Rocketear, Wishmaker, Simple Man, Qilin, Dearest Family, Ephemeral, Kuro Neko, Penalteam, and Risk

Episodes Left: Strike Back

~~~

Oh CRAP ARE WE CLOSE!!!!

So I did not expect Penalteam to be leaked LMAO, but as a result we’re way closer to the end then I expected! My blog name is gonna have to change sooner than I thought…. DAMN did this season blow by fast!

Well y’all, you know the drill! In case you missed it, the release date for Strike Back, part 2 of the season finale, was recently dropped, said date being March 12th on Disney Channel USA! Of course, this is VERY LIKELY going to change to a sooner date, as I’m sure every single channel will be competing to air this first due to high demand from the fans.

As always, I’ve updated my pinned post, check out the airdates post for dates we have and future updates, and yeah! See y’all on Monday :D

(Chronological order under cut)

MIRACULOUS LADYBUG SEASON 4 CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER

(Episodes with a checkmark have already aired, and episodes with a checkmark AND are in blue have aired and in English)

S4E01- Truth ✔️

S4E02- Lies ✔️

S4E03- Gang of Secrets ✔️

S4E04- Mr. Pigeon 72 ✔️

S4E05- Psycomedian ✔️

S4E06- Furious Fu ✔️

S4E07- Sole Crusher ✔️

S4E08- Queen Banana ✔️

S4E09- Gabriel Agreste ✔️

S4E10- Mega Leech ✔️

S4E11- Guiltrip ✔️

S4E12- Crocoduel ✔️

S4E13- Optigami ✔️

S4E14- Sentibubbler ✔️

S4E15- Glaciator 2.0 ✔️

S4E16- Hack-San ✔️

S4E17- Rocketear ✔️

S4E18- Wishmaker ✔️

S4E19- Simpleman ✔️

S4E20- Qilin ✔️

S4E21- Dearest Family ✔️

S4E22- Ephemeral (ep 100!) ✔️

S4E23- Kuro Neko ✔️

S4E24- Penalteam ✔️

S4E25- Risk - The Last Battle of Shadowmoth pt.1✔️

S4E26- Strike Back - The Last Battle of Shadowmoth pt.2

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Crocoduel

When you stop and think about it, this episode is really just the world's most intense custody battle.

Let's get into the thirteenth (chronologically the twelfth) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Crocoduel

We start off with the band Kitty Section (composed of Luka, his timid sister Juleka, her “best friend” Rose, and Ivan) performing a concert for the super amazing Zoe and all the peons beneath her greatness (Alya, Alix, Nino, and Mylene). Luka notes its been a while since Marinette came to the Liberty. Because I guess even the show wants to forget the events of “Sole Crusher”.

Luka is still upset that Marinette hasn't wanted to be around him since their breakup, so after he walks away, the others scheme to force them to spend time together.

Yep, even though they promised to back off in “Gang of Secrets”, Marinette's friends are once again trying to meddle in Marinette's personal life as well as Luka's this time. Because it's not like they can understand how hard it is for two exes to remain friends after a breakup and give them their space, right? They plan to invite Marinette to Luka and Juleka's birthday party while reminding the audience that they're twins.

YES. THEY HAVE ALWAYS BEEN TWINS. ASTRUC HAS NEVER SAID OTHERWISE OR CONTRADICTED THIS STATEMENT IN THE PAST.

LUKA WAS NEVER TWO YEARS OLDER THAN JULEKA, JUST LIKE THERE WAS NEVER A WAR IN BA SING SE.

In all seriousness, I do feel like I was a little hard on Astruc for this. Compared to other things he's made canon on Twitter, this is fairly minor, and we only knew Luka was the older brother at first through a tweet. And considering the other retcon we'll see in the very next scene, this isn't as big of a deal as I made it initially.

Alya invites Marinette to the party, but she easily deduces that it's a trap. Alya then tries to convince Marinette to talk to Luka.

Uh... since when? When did Marinette lose all romantic feelings for Luka? The whole point of the breakup in “Truth” was to show that she couldn't pursue a romantic relationship with Luka because of her duties as Ladybug. She never showed any signs of not loving him, which made the breakup all the more tragic. Yeah, “Mr. Pigeon 72” was an excuse for her to go back to loving Adrien because the writers don't know how to write anything else, but it didn't mean she stopped loving Luka. You know, it's almost like the writers want to make sure the audience knows Lukanette will never happen and the sacred Love Square is the only way Marinette will ever feel love for someone else.

Alya still forces Marinette to go, making her ask Juleka if Luka won't be there. Some people have gone down on Marinette for this, but she does later acknowledge how wrong this was to ask, and apologizes to Juleka for trying to force her to do something she didn't want to do. If only Marinette's friends learned the same lesson.

Juleka goes to tell Luka about the party, but hesitates to tell Luka he can't go there. While he knows Juleka is hiding something, Luka is distracted by the sudden arrival of his father who he loves despite abandoning him for his entire life, Jagged Stone. However, Luka and Juleka's mother, the anarchy-loving Anarka isn't happy that much like his sperm when the condom broke, Jagged came in without her permission.

At the day of the party, Marinette panics as soon as she sees Luka, who in turn realizes she didn't want to see him. Rather than comfort Juleka who just ran away crying, the others comfort Luka, preventing him from being akumatized by Shadowmoth, though he still keeps his Akuma around just to be safe. Marinette apologizes to Juleka before Shadowmoth can akumatize her too (even though she got a Magical Charm in “Guiltrip” so it wouldn't work either way). Then Shadowmoth tries to akumatize one of the guests as they find out Jagged (who just arrived) is Luka's father, but since they're dumb teenagers who don't know Jagged was winning awards and being celebrated as a rock icon while Anarka was working two jobs and struggling to make enough money for rent, they think it's awesome. Very confusing day for Shadowmoth, isn't it?

Marinette also finds out Jagged is Juleka's father and finds out Juleka worries Jagged loves Luka more since they share more interests, which she thinks is true when Jagged gives Luka a guitar case and instructs her to not tell his sister. Marinette tries to call out Jagged for neglecting Juleka over Luka even though Jagged was more of a father to his pet crocodile than either of his biological children, but it's obviously a gift for Juleka, the first bass guitar Jagged ever owned, which calms her down. Funny how nobody acknowledges how Jagged practically abandoned his family, isn't it? Sure, it looks like he's trying to make up for it, but he just acts like he's always been Luka and Juleka's dad and they don't have any problems with their father literally never being in their lives until now.

Jagged's gift to Luka is a record of the first record he made in his band with Anarka before they broke up, Crododuel, but Anarka is naturally pissed he wants to give that to Luka. Jagged and Anarka argue over which one was the Yoko Ono in their relationship while they both grab the record, which Shadowmoth uses to akumatize the two as it breaks, turning them back into Guitar Villain and Captain Hardrock respectively, Shadowmoth labeling them as Crocoduel.

Unlike the other team Akumas like the Punishers or the Gang of Secrets, Guitar Villain and Captain Hardrock care more about fighting each other than working together, and they see getting Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous as a competition to help prove who was right in their argument. It's a pretty interesting gimmick, though I don't get how Shadowmoth thinks this will help him and not ignore Ladybug and Cat Noir while they fight.

Alya provides a distraction to help Marinette transform, and after we get Adrien's single scene to remind the audience he's still a main character, he transforms into Cat Noir. The two heroes give chase, but then Guitar Villain and Captain Hardrock decide to take their fight to above the clouds.

Yeah, it's not like you have a form that specifically allows you two to fly, right?

All they had to say was that Marinette was still making more potions for that form, and it would have been better than ignoring the fact that they can fly.

Much like the hotel room during the night Luka and Juleka were conceived, the crossfire from Guitar Villain and Captain Hardrock's fight starts to damage the area around them. Ladybug and Cat Noir get Luka and Juleka to safety, and Luka tells them about what's happening, while Ladybug spouts the lesson about people needing to talk even though they don't love each other anymore, reflecting the situation the writers retconned her into learning.

Ladybug summons her Lucky Charm, a roll of scotch tape, and comes up with an idea that involves Juleka. She takes her away into an alleyway and gives her the Tiger Miraculous. The tiger Kwami, Roarr, demands Juleka show some courage, so Juleka yells in her face. Unfortunately, as much as I want to show this scene, the subs I got don't really match up, so I can't really give some screenshots of it. So I guess you can watch this scene from Full Metal Jacket instead to get the gist of things.

So Juleka takes the Tiger Miraculous and transforms into Purple Tigress.

I think the suit has a pretty good design. I like the striped pattern with the gold highlights around the black stripes, and think the color scheme is visually pleasing, especially the hair. I wouldn't call it one of my favorite hero suits, but I still like the way it looks.

Cat Noir launches Ladybug and Purple Tigress into the air where they split up to steal both halves of the record, but when they break them, no Akuma comes out. It turns out that since the record was broken while Jagged and Anarka were akumatized, they need to put it together again before breaking it in order to free the Akuma.

Purple Tigresse goes to distract Guitar Villain and Captain Hardrock with her power, Collision, which she uses to KNOCK CAPTAIN HARDROCK'S SHIP ABOVE THE CLOUDS, TAKING GUITAR VILLAIN WITH HER.

Why the hell did it take four seasons to break this Miraculous out if it gives the user the ability to go Super Saiyan on the enemy? I think Cat Noir's expression after seeing the power in action says it all.

Cat Noir Cataclysms the record (because a record is just so hard to break without using the power of destruction, isn't it?), Ladybug de-evilizes the Akuma, uses Miraculous Ladybug to fix everything, Jagged and Anarka somehow weren't killed by their own daughter, the three heroes pound it, and Ladybug gives two Magical Charms to Jagged and Anarka.

Back at the Liberty, Juleka tells the two to forget what caused them to break up and just apologize while they ignore the past, proving the writers really don't get how hard it is to move on from tough events in life. And despite building it up for the entire episode, Marinette and Luka talk in the final thirty seconds of the episode and just agree to be friends, meaning once again, Luka was sidelined in what should have been a focus episode for him.

Aside from the way Jagged and Anarka's relationship was portrayed coupled with the retcons surrounding Luka, this episode was alright in my opinion. Guitar Villain and Captain Hardrock are some of my favorite Akumas, so I thought it was nice to see them again, even if we didn't get to see their powers at full potential. I also thought this was a really good episode for Juleka, as I felt like the hero debut really helped her grow as a person and didn't just feel like she was given a Miraculous because the plot said so. She wanted to help her parents, and using the Tiger gave her the courage to symbolically speak out while potentially launching them into the stratosphere.

But the biggest problem to me has to be the way Jagged is portrayed in the episode. Just like with “Truth”, the idea of Jagged being a terrible parent is just swept under the rug and everyone just accepts the fact that Jagged is Luka and Juleka's dad very well. Despite the idea leading to some interesting drama in a show that's no stranger to family drama, they don't really do much with the whole “Jagged abandoning Anarka” thing. Aside from a brief interaction between Luka and Jagged while the former was akumatized into Truth, nobody is really angry at Jagged. Nobody really feels angry at Jagged for what he did, despite the drama being the main focus behind the episode that also had the Lukanette breakup. You would think this would at least lead to some tension between his family, but nothing really comes from it other than an argument that was pretty much played for laughs. But considering this show has a history of teaching kids to love their parents no matter how cruel they are to them, I'm not entirely surprised.

Overall, it's just a decent, albeit forgettable episode. If the writing with Jagged was different, it could have been a lot better in my opinion.

[gallavictorious]

Seven Days left~ Give us 7 favorite Shameless moments

One day late – whoops! Sorry about that, sweet nonnie; this was the most delightful ask and I was very stoked to get it. ❤️❤️❤️

Disclaimer: I misread the question because I’m a dumbass and went for Gallavich moments. My bad. :o These are seven of my favourite moments, by the way: I just can't decisively pick my ultimate top seven. Also put them down in chronological order rather than in order of how fond of them I am, because it'd would've been too hard to do otherwise.

4x08: “You coming back?” This scene is quite uncomfortable, what with Ian's demand for blowjobs and Mickey's obvious (though temporary) discomfort, but I think that's what has me returning to it again and again (and what has had me writing one very long meta and a fic about it). It represents a shift in their dynamic, with Ian claiming some power in the relationship for himself, and even though it is uncomfortable, it's fascinating to see – and needed to happen for them to work in the long term (even if it maybe didn't need to happen like that – but then again, it's just so in character for both of them, however messed up?). The look Lip and Mickey exchanges after Ian's “relationship issues” never fails to get to me either, and I think it's important to note that Lip makes sure that Ian is okay with the situation and then he leaves them to it; he doesn't try to interfere or dissuade Ian. I keep wondering what that means to Mickey, having Lip – who's certainly not a friend at that point – know about him, and about him and Ian, and not really caring beyond making sure his baby brother is okay? I kind of think that maybe Lip and Mandy both showing Mickey that they're aware of the situation but not making a big deal out of it is really fucking important – people can know he's gay without it having to be a thing and without the world ending. Terry is a horrible outlier.

4x11: “Just wondering if we're a couple or not.” Maybe it's the mutual manhandling, maybe it's them trying to negotiate and sort out the current dynamics of their relationship. There's so much tension and so many layers here, history lingering, even as they're both fond and playful: lots to unpack. Damngoodcoffee once noted that Ian almost looks scared when Mickey pushes him to the bed, and I haven't been able to unsee that since, or to forget that the last time Ian pushed Mickey to verbalize the truth of their relationship Mickey kicked him in the face. I also love love love the lead up with Carl and Ian, “do you love Mickey?” – “I like how he smells.” Please take note of Mickey washing his hands: the dirtiest white boy in American is an example to penis pee:ers everywhere.

5x08: “Sorry I'm late.” Ian's surprise, and the look of hesitant wonder as Mickey shows up and moves to lie down next to him, like he can't quite believe that Mickey is really there, that he actually came. Mickey's quiet apology, no excuses or explanations about how he needed some time to deal (which, you know, it's very fair for him to need); he's there for Ian now, putting his own fears and pain and needs to the side to be what (he thinks) Ian needs him to be. That admittedly doesn't work out great for either of them in the end, but still, in this moment, it is what they both desperately crave: to just have each other and find shelter in the other's arms. Ungh. That gentle kiss to Ian's hair, how Ian finally relaxes and reaches up to grasp Mickey's wrist, holding on. It breaks my heart and soothes me, all at the same time.

10x07: Domestic bitches. Probably the scene I've tag ranted about the most, because I. Love. It. To. Pieces. Ian's so glad to be back in a place where he feels at home and can be useful by doing important stuff like picking up shampoo and shit for Mickey (in prison, I think he was acutely aware of them being on Mickey's turf and him feeling a bit not comfortable with being the one in need of protection?) and he's so damned happy that he gets to be here with Mickey. Gets to help him out and playfully slap his ass and kiss his cheek and squeeze his titty and just love him and be with him. And Mickey, being completely unconcerned about this display in front of Sandy; in fact he seems to adore being so obviously claimed and loved and wanted, and that's such a huge shift from the boy who was once terrified by the idea of letting Ian kiss him even in private. Argh. Just. Them being domestic bitches and loving it – and each other – so fucking much. They're giddy with it here and it makes my heart swell.

10x10: “When you know, you know. Right?” I have an absurd weakness for Ian being petty, and Mickey really had it coming here, so. You know. Allow me an evil chuckle. The Byron of it all is an unwelcome distraction (and Mickey gritting out “the love of my life” makes me cringe so hard every single time), but then I look at the absolute glee in Ian's eyes when he realizes that Mickey is going to a hipster concert and yeah, this is Kee's shriek of delight. Mickey looks very good in his shirt and with the hair and the cigarette, and that's always an easy sell with me. (He also looks so uncomfortable with Ian finding out about the concert but, again, he kind of had it coming.) Aah. Ian's certainly not the only petty character on the show, but it just looks better on him than on anyone else. He's got it down.

11x10: “Hit my husband again, I'll fucking kill you.” Mickey isn't even in this scene, and still. I didn't expect Ian to take such a firm stance on this (considering that Lip is his brother and Mickey was not innocent in the fight) but maybe that's why I love it so much? I swear, the jolt I felt when hearing it for the first time, it nigh on knocked me over. “My husband” Ian says, making a point of emphasising the nature of his relationship to Mickey; the Gallaghers generally strike me as having a general expectation of putting birth family above partners when push comes to shove. Fiona certainly did for a long while, and though Lip's kind of screwing his siblings over to create the life he wants with Tami and Fred this season, I think he still sees the sibling group as Ian's primary unit, and Ian wants to remind him that this isn't the whole truth anymore. Also, protective!Ian is glorious. (I love me some brothers on the porch, so even without this line, this is a great scene. But with it – holy mother of God, I've been slain. I'd feel embarrassed about the number of times I played it on repeat the next day, but I'm too old for that shit.)

11x11: Intro Speaking of protective!Ian... I'm sorry, there's just no arguing with the aftercare vibes and I don't even know how to process that properly. Mickey's a little out of it, seems like, since he's rather slow to respond to the intrusion and displays none of his usual intiative and agression, whereas Ian is very quick to shift from gazing lovingly at Mickey to chasing us out with a determination and anger usually reserved for Frank. I mean, how else would you explain it? (And okay, it's an intro and breaking the fourth wall, so speculating about when it happens in canon is of course foolish, but I'm just saying that they're in their new flat with very little furniture still so it has to happen around the time of the last episode but I very much doubt they played around like this when everything was so weird between them so probably not between 11x10 and 11x11, but say they got back to their place after their reconciliation on their old bed and just kept on reaffirming their bond in all possible ways? Yes? Yes.)

Special mention: 10x06 Deleted Bathroom Scene. Mickey is looking fine as fuck – please, do wear black tanks more often, I am begging you, Mick – and his eyebrow game is in excellent shape, and then we have Ian seeing to his wounds (be still my heart) and pulling at his hair when Mickey's just a shade too bratty and Mickey's little look of 'okay sure I had that coming' and I'm sorry, but I am dead now. Deceased. Only two things detract from this otherwise perfect scene: Ian's titties tattoo on prominent and unfortunate display, and the confusion about whether or not Mickey didn't even learn the simplest Spanish words during his stint in Mexico.

So, that's me. I could just as easily have picked seven completely different moment, but I do love all of these very much.

[hotpinkrathian]

Kyalin Week Day 6

Prompt Chosen- Modern AU

Now, I know people are tired of hearing about the pandemic, however when I saw Modern Au as an option on there I just had to write Kyalin during quarantine... it was too tempting.

"We have to quarantine at home for two weeks, its mandatory." Kya explained.

"I want even at the hospital, how could I have gotten it?"

"Because I was at the hospital, I could have it, and spread it to you." Lin crossed her arms, releasing a dramatic groan.

"Come on Lin, I know it's not ideal, and I'm sorry, but look on the bright side. We get two weeks off, just the two of us. We could, you know, try that thing you mentioned the other night."

"That was you who mentioned that."

"Well you didn't shoot it down, so its both our ideas now." Lin sighed, pursing her lips and Kya wrapped her in a hug.

"Alright, but as soon as my two weeks are up I'm going back to work."

"Of course." Kya kissed her on the cheek, watching as Lin disappeared into the bedroom. Her eyes panned the apartment, it looked like it could use a clean, so she got to work.

"What are we going to do for food?" Lin asked, staring into the empty fridge.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Kya, we have no food in here." Kya came up behind her, placing her chin in the nook of her neck, frowning at the sight of the fridge light that illuminated nothing but the shelves.

"We eat out too much. I can call Tenzin maybe he can bring us some supplies."

"No, Tenznin will bring us a very selective diet and If I'm going to be in here for two weeks then I need real food. You know Kya, these abs don't feed themselves." Kya raised an eyebrow, moments away from kissing Lin, when the earthbender pulled out her phone.

"Mako? Okay... okay... look, I'm out for two weeks. Try not to start a gang war while I'm gone. I need you to do something for me."

"Tell him to get KitKat!" Kya said, Lin raised a finger, telling Mako to get a pen and paper.

"You ready?" Lin asked him, and began to fill him in on their grocery desires.

"Pretzels too! I could use pretzels right about now..." Lin added pretzels to list of demands. Finally when they were satisfied with the list, they hung up the phone.

"He says he'll be around in an hour. He went to get Asami because he's never gotten groceries on this scale before."

"Smart."  Kya smiled up at Lin, who was checking her phone. "So..." Kya said, drumming her fingers on the counter, "what should we do for an hour?" Lin looked up, putting her phone face down on the counter.

"Well you're practically undressing me with your eyes."

"Am not!"

"Oh yeah?. What color bra do I have.on today?" Kya pursed her lips, thinking.

"White."

"Wrong, black."

"What? No.I remember this morning you-" she stopped as Lin pulled open her flannel, revealing the black bra she was indeed wearing.

"You tricked me." Lin smirked, walking around the counter and planting a kiss on Kya's lips.

"I have some paperwork to get done, call me when Mako gets here." Lin smirked as she walked off, and Kya glared at her, running her tongue over her teeth. Thinking about how there's no one else she'd rather be quarantined with.

Mako knocked, letting them know their things were outside their door, as per standard, they waited until the two kids had left before picking up their things, Lin put four bags on her arms, gesturing for Kya to take the remaining two. She put the stuff on the counter, and watched as Kya took the time to wipe everything with Lysol.

"Kya," Lin said seriously, "are you worried at all? About this whole thing?"

"Like being quarantined? No not all."

"No, not that, I mean more like the pandemic in general."

"Oh. I haven't really thought about it, but yeah, I guess I am. I'm worried about mom, I know she's safe as she could be in the south pole, but this isn't how I want her to go. Are you worried about Toph?"

"Are you kidding me? The woman couldn't die if she tried!" They laughed, and Lin put her hands behind her, gripping the edge of the counter. "In all serious, I'm more worried about the people, the news says the unemployment rate has sky rocketed in the last few days."

"Lin?" Kya asked, putting the wipes down. "We're good right? Financially?"

"Oh dear, of course. I've been working for thirty years, saved up as much as I could not to mention my share of the Beifong fortune... its not me I worry about."

"Mako?"

"Yeah."

"He'll be alright, we won't let anything happen to him. I bet Asami and Korra already have a plan for him that he's completely unaware of in case things go south." Lin smiled and Kya lifted her lips to Lin's scarred cheek.

"Come on," she said, "help me put this stuff away."

The two of them cooked together for supper, and Lin almost forgot what it was like to be home for supper, let alone to cook it.

"Okay I think I got it," Kya said, lifting the spoon to her mouth.

"Kya, that's the stirring spoon you can't lick it and put back."

"Oh yeah? Watch me." Kya drew her tongue over the spoon, maintaining eye contact with Lin and causing her to blush. Lin gulped, breaking the eye contact and Kya returned the spoon to the pot, stirring the sauce again. Lin went for the sink, grabbing Kya's butter as she went past.

"Lin!" She yelped, swatting her girlfriend playfully on the shoulder.

"I didn't do anything!"

"Yeah right!"

"I swear!" Kya narrowed her eyes, seeing through Lin's weak attempt to hide a smile.  Lin set the salad and the bread on the table, ordering the plates and glasses across form each other, lighting a candle in the center.

"Whats going on?" Kya asked, looking at Lin's arrangement.

"I figure, since we're here, I might as well make up for all the date nights I've had to reschedule, or cancel, and never got around to it." Kya looked at her thoughtfully, putting her pot on the table.

"You're telling me I've been on a date this whole time and didn't know?"

"Yep. Surprise," Kya stifled a laugh and sat across from Lin, staring at the other girl lovingly.

"Well, you should know I don't usually go home with someone on the first date."

"Well good thing its not the first date then." Kya raised her eyebrows, her eyes still locked with Lin as she brought a piece of food to her mouth. Lin caught Kya up on everything in her life, the abnormally quiet Pice Chief talked on and on, and Kya listened, absorbing every word of it.

"Kya?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you finished?"

"Oh, yeah,' she said, sitting up. Lin took her plate, and Kya admired her from behind.

"Lin," she said, "put the dishes down."

"What?"

"We'll do them tomorrow. Please, just kiss me already."

"What if you have Covid?" Kya chuckled.

"Then we'll both have it anyway." She pushed herself off her chair, meeting Lin halfway across the kitchen, their lips meeting in an epic dance. Kya jumped, wrapping her legs around Lin's waist and the metalbender's hands found places underneath Kya's thighs to hold her. Lin set her on the kitchen counter, pushing her abdomen in between Kya's legs.

"Been a while since we've done this," Lin admitted between breaths.

"We haven't had time."

"Well, now we have two weeks to make up for it." Kya smiled as Lin's lips clashed with hers again.

"I love you," Kya whispered.

"I love you too."

1 week of quarantine

"Wait so what happened in the last movie?" Kya asked, just to get a rise out of Lin.

"Kya, were you even paying attention? Qui Gon and Obi-wan, master and Padwan head to the desolate planet of Tattooine where they-"

"Lin, I'm kidding." Lin rolled her eyes and Kya cuddle in close, reaching her arm over into the popcorn bowl on Lin's lap.

"Don't do that again or I'll spoil it for you." Kya laughed, pressing a light kiss on Lin's cheek. When Kya had mentioned she'd never seen a Star Wars movie, Lin had organized a rather professional viewing of them all, in chronological order. Kya would much rather be doing something else, but she could see how excited Lin was to watch them with her, so she did. All the good (and bad) the movied had to offer.

"Whos that?"

"Anakin."

"The little boy?"

"Yeah, there's a time gap."

"Wow, he's so grown up."

"Just you wait," Lin said, placing a fistful of popcorn in her mouth. Befoee the movie could get any further, the phone rang, and Lin got up to answer it, letting the movie play for Kya.

"Hello? Pema is that you? Hmm? No we are just- really? Is everyone okay?" Kya sat up, looking over at her girlfriend with concern.

"Theres a breakout at the air temple," Lin whispered to Kya.

Oh no, poor Pema. I hope Rohan is okay.

"Is Tenzin there? Okay, well, try to stay calm, please Pema! Where's Jinora? Put her on the phone." Lin tapped the counter, waiting for the eldest of the Airbender kids to come to the phone.

"Jinora? Is everyone okay? Ikki has it? You need to keep her away from the others, don't let Rohan out of his room, and please, try to keep you're mother calm until your father gets home tomorrow. Yes... I love you too Jinora, good bye, as soon as we can leave we'll come down there." Lin put her phone on the counter with a sigh, and Kya ran up to her.

"We have to go, I can help them!" Kya pleaded.

"No, dear, we can't help them. If we go there we are just exposing ourselves to it, and I don't like to admit but we aren't exactly spring pig-chickens anymore Kya." Kya frowned, crossing her arms.

"Lin, they are our family."

"I know Kya, but we can help them by staying here, and staying healthy. Don't forget we can be incarcerated for leaving." Kya growled, scrunched her nose and Lin reached her hand out on the counter.

"One more week to go, we got this. Remember what you told me, try to enjoy it."

"Pretty sure I said we could try that technique from that movie where I use waterbending to-"

"Well I paraphrased it." Kya's lips formed a smile, and her heart melted at the soft look Lin was giving her.

"Come on," she said, "let's watch this movie." Lin nodded and the two of them returned to the sofa, Kya resting her head on Lin's lap, her hair being tousled by the police chief. Every so often she'd look up at Lin, who was absolutely enticed by the movie, even though she said it was 'the worst one.' She fell asleep before the end, and Lin let Kya stay there long into the night, moving her only once her own bladder couldn't take it any longer, placing her in their bed. Kya groaned softly, rolling over and pulling all the blankets for herself. Lin crawled in behind her, still holding her in her arms.

3 Days until the end of quarantine.

"Kya, I know you've lost all sense of time, but you need to put clothes on."

"Whats the point? No one comes, no one goes. No one sees me. No one knows..."

"If you start speaking in poetry again I'm locking you in the bathroom."

"Go ahead, at least there I hear the voices from the drain." Kya groaned, flopping onto the couch face first. Lin sighed.

"Do you.... need to talk?" Lin almost choked on the words, but it got Kya's attention and she sat upright.

"I've always been an extrovert Lin. Im a people person and now that the people in my life have been removed... I'm just a person." Lin pursed her lips, she hadn't thought about it like that before. She had always been reserved, truthfully quarantine had been easy for her, she did daily workouts, reading... other stuff with Kya. But Kya couldn't be on her phone for more than half an hour without needing a change of space.

"I don't know how to help you with that..." Lin started, "but I can... give you a hug?" Kya smiled sadly and walked up to Lin, forgetting her nudity and hugging her.

"Lets go on the porch for a bit," Kya said, "I need some air."

"You're going to have to put some clothes on then, I don't think the neighbors will appreciate your tits being out the same way I do." Kya laughed, looking down at her torso.

"Oh they would. But fine. I'll put on some clothes, but you better be the one taking them off later."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Kya grinned, satisfied with that, before she could dissappear into the bathroom however, Lin called to her.

"Oh, Kya!"

"Yes sweetheart?"

"Maybe we can try that thing you mentioned last week." Kyas eyes went wide, and Lin smirked.

"This is why, I love you Lin Beifong."

"I love you too. Now go get dressed, we're going to miss the warmest part of the day." Kya sped off, and Lin watched her go, the same gentle smile pulling at the corners of her lips. I could be quarantined with her for the rest of my life, and I'd never get bored. When Kya returned, she skipped onto the porch, and Lin used her bending to extend the available area for the moment. Kya sat at the edge of the concrete, letting her feet hang over the edge, humming a gentle tune. Lin sat next to her, her lips pursed in indecision.

"Kya," she said, drawing the waterbenders crystal blue eyes to her. "When this is over, we should get married." Kyas eyes widened, and for a minute Lin thought she scared her, but then she was pulled into the most passionate kiss of the their relationship, nearly sending both of them to the ground below.

[fieryanmitsu]

Intertwined Roots | ch. 8 - “laughter” | A3! AU

Ahhhhh!! It’s been almost a month since I last updated “Intertwined Roots” and I’m so glad to be back!! I still have to finish up my Rare Pair Week entries, but I really wanted to come back to my babies, so decided to squeeze in an update here first!

We’ve finally reached the chapter where all four kiddos meet!! This was a moment I was greatly anticipating, so I hope you’ll enjoy this chapter!

Tag list: @azamitmg​

“Intertwined Roots” is an A3! alternate universe series where Izumi, Itaru, Tsumugi and Tasuku grow up as childhood friends.

For the summary, background and notes about the “Intertwined Roots” universe, along with more chapters, please refer to the “Intertwined Roots” Masterpost.

Masterpost for my other fanfiction: here

AO3: Link in my Blog Menu!

INTERTWINED ROOTS – ch. 8

“laughter” | spring | Tsumugi (age 5), Tasuku (age 5), Itaru (age 5) & Izumi (age 4)

Itaru’s stomach was in knots. He had never been more nervous in his life.

“I-Izumi… Wh-What if they don’t like me?” Itaru asked quietly, his hands wringing the edge of his shirt.

“Course they’ll like you!” Izumi declared. “They’re my bestest friends, and you’re my bestest friend now, too! So, we’re all friends!”

“Umm, I… I don’t think… that’s how it works,” the brown-haired boy murmured, confused by her logic.

It had only been a few days since he’d met Izumi, but it had been a life-changing experience for the bespectacled boy. No matter how awkward or quiet he was, the energetic girl never seemed to mind – rather, she somehow continued the conversation even without his responses. She also didn’t laugh at how bad he was at climbing the jungle gym – always cheering him on instead of leaving him behind. Even when he won all of their games, rather than getting upset at his constant victories, she’d challenge him to another round with even more determination than before.

And, now that he had a taste of what it was like to have a friend, he feared losing her.

Izumi often talked about her two other friends, Tsumu and Tachan. She said that they were her best friends and that they were lots of fun – even though Tachan was a baldie butthead sometimes. The girl had been ecstatic to introduce him to them once they returned from their Golden Week visit to some out-of-town family members.

However, rather than feeling anticipation at meeting them, Itaru only felt dread. If Tsumu and Tachan didn’t like him, just like most of the other kids he’d met, would that mean he couldn’t play with Izumi anymore? The thought made his throat tighten.

“Oh, look! They’re here!” Izumi exclaimed, waving both of her arms above her head at three oncoming figures.

“Izuuuumiiii!!” a blue-haired boy yelled back. Beside him, a taller boy with hair shaved short to his head waved an arm back. Trailing behind them was an older boy with dark hair.

Itaru wished he could prepare himself better, but, before he knew it, the two younger boys were running towards them.

Izumi immediately threw herself at the blue-haired boy, hugging him tight.

“I missed you, Tsumu!”

“Me, too!” Tsumugi replied with a giggle.

“Hey, how come I don’t get anything!” Tasuku demanded.

Izumi turned her head towards Tasuku and stuck her tongue out at him. Itaru could see the taller boy’s eyebrows raise and, a second later, Tasuku smirked and jabbed Izumi in the ribs with his fingers. Izumi squealed and lunged at him, trying to jab him back, but the boy just danced away. With a yell of protest, Izumi chased after his retreating figure.

Itaru’s head was spinning and he dropped his gaze to look at his feet. He thought he might be feeling sick.

Then, suddenly, his vision was filled with yellow.

“This is for you!” a soft voice chirped.

Itaru looked up from the small bouquet of big, yellow daisies and came face-to-face with Tsumugi.

“F-For me?” Itaru asked uncertainly.

“Yeah! My grandma grew them! She said that the yellow ones are for friends!” the boy chattered excitedly. “So, umm, my name’s Tsumugi! Will you please be my friend?”

Itaru was thunderstruck. His gaze flickered down from Tsumugi’s shy smile to the flowers clutched in his hand, not quite believing that a second person – in the span of less than a week – was asking to be his friend.

After a long second, Itaru finally reached out and slowly took the bright yellow flowers from Tsumugi’s unwavering hand. He gentle fingered one of the petals – they were velvety and soft.

“Yay! Let’s play together lots, okay, Itaru?” Tsumugi said with a bright smile.

“H-How did you know my name?” Itaru asked, surprised.

“Izumi talked lots about you when we played yesterday,” Tsumugi responded.

Then, a whirlwind of brown hair flew past them and Izumi was suddenly behind Itaru, clutching onto his shoulders.

“You’re so mean, Tachan – my hair’s all messy now!” Izumi exclaimed with a pout. “You better not be mean to Itaru or I’ll beat you up!”

Itaru’s eyes flickered up to stare at Tasuku, who had come to stand beside Tsumugi.

“So, you’re Itaru, right?” the taller boy asked. “I’m Tasuku.”

Maybe it was because Itaru was taken aback by Tasuku’s size – being much bigger than Tsumugi and himself – but, instead of saying ‘nice to meet you’, like he had been taught by his parents, Itaru blurted something out instead.

“There’s no way you can beat him up, Izumi. He’s huge.”

“Wh-What?! I-I so can!” Izumi protested, stomping her feet. “Just watch!”

The girl then launched herself at Tasuku and headbutted him in the stomach. The movement took the taller boy by surprise and he yelped as he was knocked onto his behind. Izumi, unable to stop her momentum, promptly toppled over him.

A part of Itaru was alarmed at what had just happened, but another part of him found the entire situation – a tiny girl barrelling into someone a full head taller than her – so absurd that it was hilarious. So hilarious, in fact, that a laugh ripped itself out of Itaru’s throat and he was practically doubled over as giggles wracked his body.

“H-Hey! You’re laughing!” Izumi gasped.

Realizing that he was being called out, Itaru calmed himself immediately, nudging his glasses up to wipe his eyes with one hand.

“S-Sorry,” he apologized, suddenly nervous that maybe he shouldn’t have laughed. Was she mad?

“B-But…” Izumi’s eyebrows furrowed, and her cheeks puffed out. “You didn’t even laugh at my funny faces yesterday!!”

Itaru distinctly remembered the ‘funny faces’ she was talking about. He wasn’t sure how to tell her that they hadn’t been funny.

“Here, try again!! I’ll definitely make you laugh this time!”

Izumi then squished her face between her hands and puckered out her lips while rolling her eyes.

From beside him, Tsumugi burst into giggles. Itaru, on the other hand, could only tilt his head. It looked weird, but not quite funny.

“You look like a demon,” Tasuku remarked dryly.

Itaru clapped his hand over his mouth as he let out a snort.

“HEY!”

And there we have it!! Our babies are all together now!! I didn’t originally imagine that I would keep things chronological for so long, but I ended up really wanting to set up the foundation of how they all met before I jumped around! I’ve got one more chronological chapter left after this one to “wrap up” what I’d consider their first meetings, so to say.

After that, I plan to post non-chronological snippets from various times of their lives in no particular order. I’ll note that, timeline-wise, this fic series will only cover their “childhood” (i.e. up until Izumi and Itaru’s high school graduation).

I already have a pool of ideas, but I don’t actually have a preference for the order in which to write them. SO… I’d like to ask all of you awesome readers for opinions! Hearing everyone’s feedback on the chapters so far has been so motivating for me and I’m so happy that there’s people out there who love this series that I’ve put together! As my way of giving back, I’d like to open “requests” for the upcoming chapters!

How it’ll work is that you can request any “set” of characters (any combination of two, three or all four of our main characters) and then just let me know which age range you’d like to see (preschool/elementary age, middle school age or high school age). So, if there’s any particular interaction/combination of characters you’d like to see, please drop a comment/ask (anon asks are enabled!) with something like “Itaru and Tasuku, high school age” and I’ll write the next chapters in order of requests that I receive!

When I run out of requests to line up, I may open them up again, or do something different to decide what comes out next!!

Thanks so much for your support so far and I look forward to hearing from all of you!! As usual, if you enjoyed reading, please consider reblogging to help me out!!

-Anmitsu

[fandomfourever]

In Defense of Alvin Murphy

I’ve been having thoughts ever since watching Z Nation. Twice. And I had to get this all off my chest. But, I’m just gonna put this under a read more because this will probably be super long.

So, as I said above, this is mostly just something I needed to post about so I can finally think about something else, lol. Most of what I’m writing is based on canon, while some sections (which I’ll try to make obvious) are educated guesses based on what we do know, and what makes sense (to me anyway). I’m going to try and keep it in some kind of order, but it might get a bit ramble-y.

While it obviously isn’t everyone, there are a lot of people who just really hate Murphy. And while everyone’s entitled to their opinions, sometimes I feel it’s a little unjustified. Not only that, he gets a lot of hate in the show from various characters. Now, I’m not going to claim Murphy is a saint who can do no wrong��he’s done plenty wrong. But this post is basically about putting things in perspective. If this interests you, please continue reading. Otherwise, move on I guess?

Sometimes it feels as though people seem to forget that Murphy has some major PTSD. Many of the characters do, but here’s the thing: those characters are often treated with sympathy, where Murphy is not. Example: Murphy panics in the elevator when they’re looking for McCandles, and Warren smacks him and tells him to stop (paraphrasing), but when Warren has a panic attack in the box in the labyrinth, Sarge helps her out and people are sympathetic. Not that they shouldn’t, but it’s a stark difference between similar moments.

Let’s not forget that Murphy was in prison for Postal Fraud. Not murder. Not rape. Not terrorism. Not drugs. Postal Fraud. And he was sentenced to 3 years, when the maximum can be up to 20 years with a $250,000 fine, unless it involves a “presidentially declared major disaster or emergency” which can land you 30 years and $1 million dollar fine. AKA, whatever Murphy did, it was really minor. (You can find info and the quote if you google Postal Fraud)

In the flashback we see of him in season 2, Murphy sees his first zombie; a dude shanked by another dude. Chronologically, Murphy is then given the vaccine during Black Summer. When we see Murphy in the pilot, he’s got a full beard, meaning some time has passed between seeing his first Z and being vaccinated.

Here’s where a bit of educated guessing comes in: we don’t see what happens to him between those two times. It would make sense to me that, if there’s been a zombie outbreak and food/water is going to run out, prisoners would be kept in their cells indefinitely (or almost so). Which would then give a pretty good explanation to Murphy’s claustrophobia. Whether he was in the cell alone or not, that’s a tiny space, and can you imagine the kind of terror that would come with that? Probably hearing other prisoners turn? All it would take is one guard getting bitten by mistake and the whole place would descend into chaos.

Back to what we know for sure. At some point after seeing his first zombie, he is then forcibly taken to the prison lab to be experimented on. Murphy, strapped to a table, has to watch two other prisoners die after being injected—one of which seized so hard he broke his own neck. Then he’s injected, and left behind, where he’s mauled by zombies and is awake and experiences them tearing into his body.

Then, to add insult to injury, Murphy is led around for a year by Hammond—you know, one of the people who abandoned him to be bitten—to try and bring him to California where he will be, once again, experimented on. We see how Hammond treats people, especially Murphy. He yanks and shoves him around, and we see he even treats people he views as human kind of like crap; Murphy is just a “package” to him. In fact, Murphy is called “the package” by just about everyone.

(remember that Hammond hauled Murphy from the truck and demanded he show Warren and Garnette the bites. Against his will.)

So, Murphy’s been traumatized, experimented on, and treated as less than human by the military, and then he’s taken in by people who also view him as less than human. Is it really any wonder he acts like an asshole? I doubt any normal person would be nice and friendly after all that.

The first person that actually tries to ask about what happened is Doc, but Murphy has no reason to trust him and lies about having volunteered to do it (I doubt Doc believes it, but he doesn’t ask further about it either). So yes, Murphy could have told Delta X-ray Delta exactly what happened, and maybe that would have gotten him the sympathy he deserved. However, they all know he was bitten eight times, so you’d think that alone would be enough to be treated with some kindness. But nah, they all are happy to push him around and tell him to shut up and again continue referring to him as “the package”.

It only gets worse as Murphy starts to turn blue. Not only does Murphy have to deal with the fact he’s being dragged across America to be experimented on by Dr. Mercy again, he then has to deal with the fact he’s, literally, falling apart.

Yes, Murphy takes water from that family and lets the husband inside. Yes, that was an awful thing to do. But, Murphy’s natural inclination is not to be a murderer (if they actually died). So I was thinking about the situation from Murphy’s perspective. The mother and daughter were hiding out in a building waiting for the husband to return. When he took the water, neither fought back, which can get you killed in the apocalypse. Even if he hadn’t taken the water, how long would they have lasted? Especially if they waited there for the husband to come back and he never did? They likely would have starved or died of dehydration. As Murphy leaves, he stops, thinks, then lets the zombiefied husband inside. I think it’s entirely possible that, from his prospective, he was helping in a way. The mother and daughter wouldn’t die wondering what happened to him, and could be viewed as a twisted sort of mercy. Again, not a good thing to do, and I’m not excusing him. But it’s a point to ponder.

Next I wanted to talk about Cassandra. Well, when Murphy bit her. Like with 10K, we never actually see the bite happen. What we see is Murphy going past everyone who’s devastated by Cassandra dying, and then entering the room and looking at her. Now, up to that point, Murphy had only bitten/infected four people, and controlled three of them sort of. The first person he bit, that guy at the Fu-Bar, died and didn’t turn. Now, based on the fact that even Murphy seemed surprised by Cassandra’s return, and her strange behavior, my guess is that he bit her to keep her from becoming a Z. He knew she meant a lot to the others, and despite his outward behavior, I think it’s safe to say Murphy does care about them at this point. So it would make sense to me that he would assume seeing her turn into a zombie would be heartbreaking to everyone else, and therefore bit her to prevent that, not knowing she would become a Blend and come after him.

In the final episode of season 1, Murphy sees what became of Patient Zero. He sees a man melted to a table, still alive, and begging for death, and knows he could become him. Then he learns Dr. Kurian isn’t who he says he is and could be wanting to kill or torture him (like the other experiments in the lab). (An aside: Dr. Merch worked in that lab, meaning she had a hand in those experiments.)

So again, I don’t find it unreasonable that Murphy, triggered by his trauma and impending kidnapping, fled. Flight or Fight, and we know Murphy prefers not to fight. So he ran. Someone in that kind of head-space is not going to be thinking of other people, and it would be unreasonable to expect that.

Then the beginning of season 2 is marked by people hunting Murphy down. People who are completely willing to break his legs to get the bounty. Again, he was being treated as less than human. The only bright spot in his life was Lucy, who he felt like he had to give up because he believed the group would hurt her. Considering the way they talked about him and her, and the fact they’re totally okay with allowing a baby to be experimented on, he wasn’t wrong to be worried.

Then we get the lovely episode The Collector. You know, the episode where Murphy was electrocuted multiple times. If you take a look at ScriptTorture like I have—specifically their electrical torture tag—you’ll see just how bad even one shock can be, let alone however many he got there. Being shocked with electricity can cause: heart attacks, muscle spasms enough to break bones, someone biting their own tongue off by mistake, death from falling because of muscle failure, burns, and bruising. While we know Murphy didn’t experience those (luckily) it’s still torture, and still incredibly painful for him. And let’s not forget he got shocked with a cattle prod back in the first episode of the season, and that he later gets repeatedly shocked in that episode with the Zuggalos.

The end of the episode leaves us with Murphy asking Warren to promise him she won’t let him be alone when they get to the CDC. And she does. Until a few episodes later, anyway. During the flashback episode, we get a scene where Murphy tells Warren he’s scared and that if she was his friend,  she wouldn’t leave him alone at the CDC. What’s Warren’s response to this? “I’m not your friend” and “There are some things we have to do alone, even if it hurts.” Like, wow, nice, so glad you don’t care you’re breaking Murphy down further.

And then to find out Dr. Merch and the others on the sub weren’t even going to save humanity, just the rich people on Zona? To know he’d been subjected to all that shit for nothing? Yeah, Murphy had every right to be upset and to try and take matters into his own hands. A persona can only take so much before they snap, after all.

You know what’s ridiculous? That Warren & Co (minus 10k) were totally fine with Hector/Escorpion hanging out with them despite, you know, torturing Vasquez, killing multiple people even before the apocalypse, trying to kill 10k (the ep where he was with Sketchy and Skeezy), being part of a Cartel… But Murphy being snarky and occasionally an asshole is just so much worse, I guess.

Now I want to address Murphy biting 10k. Like with Cassandra, we don’t see what happens, just the before and after. But let’s think back on some things. Murphy bit Cassandra because she was dying. Murphy did NOT bite 10k when the Collector ordered him to because there was another way out. Murphy did NOT inject Warren & Co when they were with The Zeros, when he had the opportunity and even motive to. So then we have 10k on the sub, shot in the stomach. We last see 10k (pre-bite) stumbling off the table in the sub. Despite being bandaged, he didn’t look like he was doing too well. When we see 10k later, he has no memory of the bite happening. Murphy can do a lot, but we’ve never seen him erase someone’s memories. Now, looking at Murphy’s past actions, and what we see going on with 10k, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume that, perhaps, 10k fainted or was knocked out. Falling to the floor or against a wall could have very easily re-opened his stitches, causing him to bleed again. Now if Murphy saw this, he could have easily thought that 10k was dying and bitten him.

All that isn’t to say Murphy wasn’t in the wrong for trying to control 10k, because he was, but I find it hard, if not impossible, to believe it was a lie when Will said that Murphy cared about him and didn’t want to hurt him.

Honestly, season 3 feels kind of like a mess when it comes to vilifying Murphy and trying to make it seem like Warren is in the right. I’m honestly glad when Murphy calls out her hypocrisy, because Warren keeps saying freedom is important, and free will is important. But apparently when the people go to Murphy of their own free will to get his cure, that doesn’t count. Warren was totally okay with slaughtering a bunch of people (with the help of the Red Hand who are also a bunch of murderers), because they felt safe with Murphy. And why wouldn’t they? He made them immune to Zs, got them fresh water, functioning electricity, and food.

Which brings me to another point I want to make. People love to call Murphy a narcissist. While he does act arrogantly, he’s not a narcissist. To be classified as a narcissist, a person must exhibit 5 or more of the following symptoms:

A grandiose sense of self-importance

Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

Belief that one is special and can only be understood by or associate with special people or institutions

A need for excessive admiration

A sense of entitlement (to special treatment)

Exploitation of others

A lack of empathy

Envy of others or the belief that one is the object of envy

Arrogant, haughty behavior or attitudes

A grandiose sense of self-importance: Nope. Murphy frequently said he didn’t want to be The Savior, that he wanted to be normal and die like everyone else. When he does refer to himself as The Savior, it’s highly sarcastic or to stay alive.

Preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, etc.: Again, no. The closest he gets is saying he could have been an action news anchor if he’d applied himself.

Only associating with special people and institutions: No. Murphy associates with everyone. Does he get a little close to this with Zona in season 4? Yeah, but since it isn’t exclusive it doesn’t count as this.

A need for excessive admiration: Nah. You can see him get visibly uncomfortable when his Blends act overly obsessed with him. And guess what? Murphy gives them all credit for getting the power working. Not once does he claim that all the good things they have is because of him and him alone.

A sense of entitlement: Sometimes. But I’d say considering the shit he’s been through, it’s not unreasonable.

Exploitation of others: Yeah, he does do this.

Lack of empathy: Whoo boy, you’d have to have not been watching the show to think this. Murphy, despite his outward behavior, gets attached to people so fast. It only took one card game with Doc for Murphy to call him his friend, and to feel devastated when he thought Doc had been blown up. He has full empathy for Zs, and just because they’re dead doesn’t mean it doesn’t count. Especially when we know from both Murphy and Lucy that they do still feel things. Murphy and Lucy’s storyline as a whole disproves this one.

Envy of others/Thinking one is envied: No, we don’t see any evidence of this.

Arrogant and haughty behavior: Yeah, he does this too.

So, 2 out of 9 symptoms. Murphy’s not a narcissist. Case closed on that one.

Now, back to my main points. So we have Murphy creating a beautiful room for Lucy, intending to find her and bring her back to raise her properly. Warren tells Doc and Addy to get to Lucy first, so she can be the new cure. Because it’s totally fine to experiment on babies. And yeah, we know now that Sun Mei would have likely only taken a little bit of blood, but we didn’t then, and neither did Warren & Co. And even still, it’s experimenting on a baby. Truly, Warren was the hero of season 3 and Murphy was pure evil.

Luckily in seasons 4 and 5, Murphy is treated a lot better. Well, mostly the end of season 4 and season 5 in general. The way things are framed, it seems like Murphy doesn’t care about anyone not on Zona, but it’s crucial to remember that 1) He was told everyone was dead and 2) it’s been 2 years for him. And then when he’s reunited with Lucy she snubs him and hangs around with Warren, who acts all pleased about it. It’s not like Murphy loved Lucy more than anyone, even himself, and had tried so hard to get her back, thought she was dead, and just wants a chance to be a dad. And, because Murphy hasn’t suffered enough, Warren’s sense of self-importance about her mission to “stop” Black Rainbow got Lucy killed. Just saying, if they’d just gone to Newmerica, Lucy might have lived.

Also, how can your heart not break even a little when, at the camp, Doc gives Murphy a hug and Murphy says “At least there’s one person who’s happy to see me”? Like?

The last time we get Murphy being treated super unfairly is by Addy in season 5. Like, yes, Addy traveled with Lucy and cared about her, but Murphy was her father and might have been able to raise her if Doc and Addy hadn’t gone to kidnap her first. But she just has to get in a dig at Murphy not being around for Lucy. Like he totally would have had he not been abducted by Zona.

As long as this post is, I hope those that read it can see my point. Murphy is not perfect, but the way he’s treated is vastly out of proportion to what he’s done. He definitely deserves more sympathy than he’s given. If we’re ever given a season 6, I hope he’s treated a lot better.

If people would like to talk about this, whether you agree or not, please do. But also please be nice about it. I’m all for respectful discussions.

[obsessedwithereri-nz]

Stone Cold Chapter 1 (FULL)

Hey guys! I decided to post the full chapters of my first ever fic on Tumblr because why not! Follow the tag #stonecoldfic to find the rest of the chapters! Enjoy!!

Levi x Eren

Summary:  Ever since Levi was a pre-teen, he knew he’d have to marry her, otherwise he’d have to answer to his abusive uncle which never turned out well for Levi’s wellbeing. But after meeting a certain singer at his favorite bar, he knew he was in deep, deep shit.

Warnings: None

SLAM

The polished wooden door slams open. A dark-haired man of short stature bolts from inside the gorgeous ‘American Dream’ home, desperation is written all over his objectively perfect face. A thick layer of pure white snow coats the driveway, almost making him slip and fall as he makes his way to his parked car now also covered with snow.

Reaching into his trousers, he pulls out his keys with shaking hands and attempts to insert the key into the driver door lock.

“For fuck’s sake. Come. On!” the man yells.

“It’s okay, Levi. Calm. Take a deep breath and calm…” The familiar voice sounds inside Levi’s head, but he gasps as if someone were whispering in his ear. He glances around him, however, realizing that, of course, he’s alone.

Levi lowers his grey-blue eyes back down to his still trembling hands. Releasing the furrow of his brow, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth. He looks down once more to find his hands perfectly still.

The corners of his mouth pull upwards ever so slightly, which has become an almost foreign feeling to him once again.

“I’m coming. Please wait for me.”

-----

Alcohol and good music.

That’s what Levi would answer with if someone asked him what he thought made a good time. Music can make you feel good, and alcohol can make you feel even better, plus if you drink enough of the good shit, it’ll make you forget about all the bullshit going on in your life. But in Levi’s case, he wishes it’d do more.

“Maybe if I just keep drinking, it will all disappear,” Levi says to himself as he sits in his car, parked outside an old fashioned building covered in white paint. The car is his most prized possession, a beautiful black 1966 Chevrolet Impala. He takes one last long drag of his cigarette before stepping out of his car, throwing the butt to the ground and snuffing it out with the heel of his leather dress shoes.

“Tsk… yeah right. But one can only try.”

Just like any other Monday afternoon at exactly 5:45pm, Levi exits his car, locks it, and walks up to the usual bouncer.

“Ackerman! What a surprise.” Not really. “Another rough day at the office?”

“Does today end with ‘day’, Nile?” It’s a good thing for Nile that he knows Levi decently well after all his visits here, otherwise, he’d probably be shitting his pants at the deathly look Levi never ceases to wear. His cold grey eyes, sunken into his sockets, shadowed by dark circles, and his contrasting pale white skin could make even the manliest of men look the other way.

“Ha- always the jokester, aren’t we, Levi?” Nile laughs alone. “Go on in, man. I think you’re going to enjoy yourself tonight. We got a new face for the stage! He’s a goodie.”

Levi not at all subtly rolls his eyes and enters the bar, which goes by the name The Library and is, in reality, more of a lounge that features excellent live music, delicious food and the most unique cocktails around. The booths have extremely comfortable sofas on either side of black and white marble tables. Hanging from the ceiling are human-sized bubbles filled with cushions and a place to put drinks, and a nice small stage over in the corner furthest from the entrance and right by the bar. What’s better is that the good performers take song requests. Which is why Levi is beyond grateful it’s not a jukebox, because humans can say no to the shitty songs.

It’s a place anybody who is of age can go to do almost anything- relax, drink, eat, study, drink, work, play board games, drink, listen to music… you name it. Levi absolutely only goes for the music and booze; all the other bars in town around are filled with loud, smelly drunk assholes who have no respect for the other people around them, and Levi has no tolerance for people like that. Especially after being around said people at his work, minus the drunk part.

Although he does enjoy a strong drink, or five, he doesn’t do it for the social life, or to ‘let loose’ as some say. He drinks to escape and forget his cursed reality, even if it’s only for an hour or two.

He waltzes through the building over to the bar, takes his usual cushioned stool seat, removes his sleek suit jacket and lets out a sigh when he sees the bartender flirting it up with another customer down the other side.

“Oi, shitty glasses!” Levi projects down the bar, giving them a very unimpressed look. “You gonna do your job and get me a drink or not?”

“Leeeeeviiiiii!!” the bartender screeches like banshee, seemingly forgetting they were just talking to someone not five feet from them.

Levi winces at the awful sound then proceeds to grunt in annoyance when he sees them vaulting over the bar and racing over towards him with their typical ginormous smile that even the Joker would be terrified of. And, before he knows it, he can’t breathe. Shitty Glasses may not look physically strong from the outside, but fucking hell they would break Levi’s back if they hugged him even 0.1% harder.

“Get your fucking paws off me, crazy hag!” Levi groans with all of his might, and shoves them away. They stumble back a few feet, glasses falling down the bridge of their nose, and stare at him.

“Tsk”, Levi says with the tiniest of smirks that only people closest to him would recognize as a smirk, “how you doing, Hanji?”

“You always do know how to keep me on my toes, Levi,” Hanji exclaims as they vaults back over the bar flawlessly after playfully winking toward him. “Well, I am doing much better now that your booty is in that bar seat. Now, what can I get ya?”

“Jameson on the rocks.”

“Oh, going straight for the good stuff, huh?”

“Trust me. If I have to keep going home to all of that bullshit, I need that liquid gold in my system. And a lot of it.”

After hearing the melancholy tone in Levi’s voice, Hanji gives him a sad yet comforting smile then grabs the bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey off the shelf, grabs a glass for each of them and begins to pour.

“Alright tough guy. What happened?” Hanji demands.

“Huh? What makes you think that anything ‘happened’?”

“Do you want them in alphabetical or chronological order?” Hanji giggles. “Well, for starters, you always start off with the strong stuff when you’ve had a particularly shit day. Was it the parents?”

Levi is shocked at how their first guess is spot on. Although, it wasn’t his parents either of them were thinking of or referring to.

Levi works for his girlfriend’s family in their furniture business, but it’s no ordinary furniture business. This shit is all handmade with the finest materials one can buy and majoritively custom orders from very “important” people with very “high net worths”.

Does Levi give a fuck about furniture? No. Does he give a shit about the difference between an Ottoman and a Hassock? Fuck no. Does he give a rats fucking ass about all these very important people? Absolutely fucking not! The only thing Levi does care about is getting through the day without punching somebody’s lights out or getting alcohol poisoning that night.

Sometimes he wishes he could purposely mess up these people’s orders just to make sure they don’t come back and buy from them again. But then he would have to deal with his soon to be parents-in-law getting on his ass even more than they already are. And as of this day, he has not made an overly noticeable mistake in years, yet they still find something to pick at as if they don’t have a fucking company to be running.

“Do I really need to answer that?” Levi answers as he buries himself in his glass.

“Oh, hun, I really don’t understand why you don’t just up and quit already. You’re obviously miserable there.”

“You know I can’t do that, Hanji.” He puts down his now empty glass and stares at the freshly cleaned bar top.

“Actually, I don’t know. You’re not exactly one to share details, Levi. Not that I mind, of course, like yes I’d like to know what’s making you so upset all the time but I’m not going to pry.”

Levi finally looks at Hanji again and raises his eyebrow while keeping his stoic expression plastered to his face.

“What? I know my boundaries,” they say, lifting their hands up off the bar to either side of their head.

“Not when it comes to personal space you don’t,” Levi mutters as he returns to look at his empty glass. Hanji sighs, grabs the whiskey bottle again and fills Levi’s glass with more.

“Hey now, everybody needs a hug every now and again. Anyway, you know little ol’ me is here to listen if you need, and I’m not gonna blab. Hell, I don’t know who I’d blab to!”

“Look, it-!” Levi slams his hands on the bar, startling Hanji and other bar-goers around him. Quickly realizing his sudden outburst, he looks around and sits back down in his seat and buries his face in his skinny hands. “I’m sorry, I just… I can’t, okay. That’s all you need to know.”

“Alright, I’ll back off. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed. I’ll be right back.”

He lowers his hands to reveal his furrowed brows, and all they do is wink and walk away from behind the bar and behind the curtains by the stage. Levi rolls his eyes, downs his already filled glass and begins to eye the whiskey bottle Hanji left out in arms reach, considering pouring himself another glass. Yes, this would be his third glass and probably not his last, but he does need to drive home. Sure, he could get a cab, God knows he can afford it, but there’s no way in hell he’s leaving his baby out for drunkards or teenagers to vandalize or steal. Although, this wouldn’t be the first time he’s driven home drunk before. He knows it’s wrong, he knows he could get somebody seriously hurt or worse, but all his cares and worries in the world fade away when that first drop of amber liquid makes contact with his taste buds.

As if out of nowhere, a loud screeching noise sounds from the stage, snapping Levi out of his alcohol-induced daze to see Hanji standing right beside him, blocking his view of the stage.

“What the fuck? You letting some amateur on the stage tonight or something?” Levi says with a big scowl on his face, irritated that his quiet place was disrupted by something louder and more annoying than Hanji’s voice.

“Don’t worry, you’re gonna like this one.” They send him yet another wink and walk out of his line of sight, revealing some snot-nosed kid standing on stage.

However, that not particularly nice thought vanished from existence as soon the ‘kid’ looked out into the crowd. Then all Levi could think and say was:

“Wow.”

[theycallmebeccawrites]

Chris & Ellie Series: Episode 3.5

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Ellie Spencer (OFC)

Rating: strong PG-13

Warnings: Borderline graphic description of the male anatomy

Episode Summary: Takes place in March 2013. Ellie has a video chat with her sisters to tell them about her new job and living situation.

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

The Chris and Ellie series is primarily chronological.  It begins with a flash forward to 2016 and has a few other scenes in the future.  However, the majority of their story is told in chronological order starting in 2013 and going through 2017. Each episode starts with a date to help you place it within the story.

The Chris & Ellie Series Masterlist | Chris & Ellie Masterlist

Episode 3

Episode 3.5: Sister Talk

March 30, 2013

Ellie sat on the leather sofa in the basement of the main house as she waited for the video call to connect. She hadn’t intended on telling Chris about her biweekly video chats with her three sisters, but as she stared at his big screen TV she was super glad she had, because he had shown her how to do video call on it.

The last video chat she’d had with all three of her sisters had been a couple days before her first meeting with Chris and she hadn’t told them anything about her new job or living situation just in case the whole thing fell through. Even now that everything was official, she was still a bit nervous about telling her sisters.

Eyes focused on the TV screen, Ellie grinned the second her sisters’ faces appeared in their separate boxes. She waved at them and greeted them each by name.

“Syd!” or Sydney was her oldest sister at 30 years of age. She was married to the best brother-in-law a girl could ask for, Garrett, and they lived in Seattle, Washington. They were also the parents to Ellie’s nephew, Noah, who was five years old and her niece, Chloe, who was three years old.

“Izzy!” or Isabelle was Ellie’s second youngest sister and her best friend in the entire world. Just under three years separated 27 (almost 28) year old Ellie and 25 year old Izzy, which meant they had been close. Unlike the other three girls, Izzy had blond hair like their mother’s side of the family while the other three took after their father’s side. LIke Ellie, Izzy also lived in California, but in the Bay Area where she’d recently graduated from law school. Now she and her boyfriend, Eric Montgomery, were both looking for jobs.

“Riley!” was the youngest of the four girls and was constantly updating her Twitter account with a countdown to her 21st Birthday (124 days). Growing up, she’d followed Ellie and Izzy around, doing whatever they told her to, until she got tired of being bossed around. She then became the teenager that tested their parents’ patience the most. Unlike her three older sisters, who’d gone straight from high school to college, she had taken a couple years off school off and therefore was only a sophomore instead of a senior.

Ellie hadn’t realized how lonely being in the main house and guest house had been after Chris and his mom had left until she was listening to her sisters as they shared the latest news and a little bit of gossip. She still had her job at the bookstore, but it still didn’t make up for the fact that she was coming home to an empty house all the time.

She laughed along with her sisters as they each shared amusing stories, trying to out do each other. It had been Sydney’s tale about her daughter’s ballet recital which had ended with a mouse running across the stage followed by the ballet teacher holding a broom, that had brought tears to their eyes.

Brushing tears from her cheeks, Ellie looked at the screen and knew her time had come when she saw Izzy giving her a suspicious look.

“You’ve been awful quiet tonight,” Izzy said. “And where are you? I can tell you’re not at Aunt Deena’s house because of the white wall behind you, I don’t think there is a single white wall in her house”

“Yeah, about that,” Ellie said, slowly. “I got a job.”

“What?”

“Where?”

“When?”

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?”

Ellie snicked as her sisters’ questions overlapped each other. She was still nervous about telling them, but she knew she had to. They’d find out soon enough.

“I’m still working at the bookstore,” she told them. “But I’m also working as a housekeeper slash housesitter for the son of someone I met at the store.”

She could tell by the look on Sydney’s face that she wasn’t impressed with the new job and she was pretty sure that Riley was painting her fingernails.

Nervous about how to address the big part of the new job, Ellie chewed on her lower lip.

“You’re not telling us something,” the ever observant Izzy stated. “You only chew on your lower lip like that when you’re not sure what to say.” She leaned in closer to her camera. “What aren’t you telling us Sarah Elaine?”

“My boss is Chris Evans,” Ellie said after waiting an extra moment. “And not the British one.”

“Who?” Sydney asked as Izzy and Riley just stared at their computer screens in shock.

“He plays Captain America in the Marvel movies,” Ellie explained to her older sister.

“And he is fucking hot!” Izzy exclaimed. “I don’t even like superhero stuff, but I dragged Eric to the theater to see that first Captain America movie.”

“Is he really that buff in real life?” Riley asked.

Ellie felt her face flush and heard Izzy gasp.

“OH MY GOD! YOU’VE SEEN HIM NAKED!” her sister shouted through the TV.

Ellie felt her face turn an even brighter shade of red, meaning there was no way she could deny that she had in fact seen Chris completely naked.

“It was an accident,” she said when Izzy finally quieted down. “His mom hired me and he got home earlier than she’d expected and she hadn’t warned him that I was there. So there I was, cleaning the kitchen floor and I turn around and there he is, standing completely naked in the doorway to the kitchen.”

“You saw him naked?!” Sydney said in a delayed response. “Sorry, I had to look him up. I think Garrett has some of those movies, I might need to watch them.”

“Yes, she saw him naked,” Riley replied. “But we haven’t asked her the important question yet.”

As Ellie watched, matching smirks appeared on her sisters’ faces and she knew exactly what they wanted to know: just what was he hiding under his clothes.

She’d known who Chris was before even met Lisa, but she hadn’t known that Lisa was Chris’ mom until she’d taken the job. So she had known what she was getting herself into, she’d seen his movie “What’s Your Number?” and there hadn’t been much to imagine after the scene with the towel and the apple, but seeing it on a TV screen with her sister Izzy was nothing like having the real, naked man right in front of her.

It didn’t take much effort for Ellie to recall the scene from the morning she and Chris had met. His hair had been longer than normal and his beard had been shaggier than she’d seen in promotional photographs, but given that he’d just spent two weeks in hibernation, it had made sense. There had been hair on his chest as well, the perfect amount in her opinion.

“WELL?!” Izzy demanded interrupting her thoughts.

Ellie kept them waiting a moment longer as she remembered that particular part of Chris’s anatomy that had been the first point of contact that her eyes had settled upon that morning: the beautiful, err manly, organ in between his thick thighs. She wasn’t an expert, though hardly a novice, when it came to penises, but Chris’s had certainly looked better than those of her ex boyfriends. Better taken care of, that was for sure, especially when it had come to the small tuft of hair at the base.

Then there had been the penis itself. It had been a good length; not too short where you’d be crossing your fingers praying he was a grower not a shower, but not too long where you’d be afraid of it getting longer and damaging your lady parts. She’d only seen him straight on, so she hadn’t been able to tell exactly how thick he was, but he hadn’t been pencil thin, that was for sure. And from where she’d been sitting on the floor, his balls had looked healthy, too.

“SARAH ELAINE!” Riley shouted at the screen.

Ellie smiled and then calmly said, “He’s my boss, so I’ll just keep it simple. There is not a single thing about him to complain about.”

Her sisters laughed and Izzy let out of whistle.

“Fuck, the girls’ on my floor are planning to watch ‘What’s Your Number?’ tomorrow night,” Riley said with a groan. “Now I’m going to have to sit there knowing that my sister knows exactly what he has going on behind that towel!”

“You guys can’t say anything to anyone about this,” Ellie said, seriously. “You three, me, his mom and him are the only ones that know.”

“Wait, how does his mom know?” Sydney asked.

“You know how I mentioned he got home earlier than planned?” Ellie said. “Well he was doing the Full Monty in the kitchen when his mom got to his place. She found us in the kitchen, me still on my knees on one side of the room and Chris trying to cover himself with a roll of paper towels. She sent him upstairs to get dressed and I thought she was going to fire me, but she just laughed!”

She couldn’t help join her sisters as they laughed over the awkward situation.

“So other than being a complete God physically, what’s he like?” Izzy asked her.

“I haven’t gotten to spend much time with him,” Ellie shrugged. “He was here for a week and then he was off to film a new movie.”

“So there were no sparks?” Sydney asked.

“Sparks? You mean romantically?” Ellie replied, staring at her older sister in surprise. “I just met the guy and he is my boss.”

“You took five minutes to answer the question about whether his penis lived up to the rest of his God-like stature,” Riley pointed out with a smug grin.

“It’s called suspense,” Ellie replied. “I had information you wanted and I’ve always loved holding that over your head.” She rolled her eyes. “Besides, Chris is a celebrity. He isn’t going to date, let alone sleep with, his housekeeper, especially not one hand picked by his mom.”

“Ellie, you’re worth more than any celebrity out there,” Sydney said with a smile. “If Chris can’t see that then you don’t need him.”

“And if he can see that then you need to get with him,” Izzy added with a smirk. “And then tell us all about the motion in his ocean!”

“Every single detail,” Riley agreed.

“Oh, is that a thing now?” Sydney asked, pulling the attention of her two youngest sisters. “If so, then we have a lot of catching up to do about Garrett. Let me tell you, my husband can -“

“Oh look at the time!” Izzy exclaimed while Riley covered her ears and loudly sang, “La la la la.”

Sydney winked at Ellie and then said, “Well I have little monsters to put to bed. And the night is still young for you three, go have some fun.”

“Night Syd,” the other three chorused.

Sydney waved and then disappeared from the video chat.

“I should probably finish writing the essay that I have due tomorrow,” Riley said with a frown. “Either of you know anything about music theory?” Ellie and Izzy shook their heads. “I figured as much. Night guys.”

“So, when can I come for a visit?” Izzy asked with a smile once it was just her and Ellie.

“I don’t know if I can have visitors,” Ellie replied. “Especially overnight, freeloading sisters.”

“Well ask your hunky boss and let me know,” Izzy said before redirecting her attention to something off camera. “Alright, Eric just decided he’s hungry, so we’re going to go get food.”

“Later,” Ellie replied. She turned off the video chat and reset the TV to its proper settings. Then she went upstairs and made sure the big house was locked up for the night before retiring to the cozy, studio apartment-like guesthouse she called home.

Episode 4

Want to find me off tumblr? I’m @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

My tag list is always open, just let me know if you’d like to be added!

[planetsam]

omg i just found your blog and i love it!! please please write a mike x eleven story kali goes to hawkins and reunites with el and that’s how mike, hopper, and the rest of the boys find out el has a sister

Kali doesn’t believe in miracles anymore.

Not if she’s one of them.

She believes in 011 though, so she goes after her. Back to Hawkins. She sends the others off to do it too, not sure how this will go. If she was odd before she’s a freak on another level now, with her painted appearance and her shadowed eyes. She shouldn’t be surprised to find 011 has done the same things she has. Built a family, carved a life, drawn what she needs into her sphere. It looks different, it still has the shine Papa liked so much.

“What are you doing here?” 011 asks quietly when she sees her.

“I came to see what all the fuss is about,” she says with a flip of her hair, “didn’t realize I was interrupting third period and homecoming,” she sneers and 011 at least has the grace to turn pink in the ears before her face hardens.

“I’m sorry I’m not robbing a bank,” she shoots back and Kali glares.

“Well not as the daughter of the police chief. Though you’d have an easier time of it. No surprise there.”

It’s a cruel thing to say but she’s cruelest at her most vulnerable. 011 grabs her wrist and yanks her over to the phone booth. She pulls out a quarter, jams in a number and talks quickly. Quietly. Then she turns to Kali.

“Stay here,” she orders.

“Going to be late for fourth period?” Kali demands, making her voice high and girlish.

She rolls her eyes as 011 storms away, rolls them again as she runs when the bell starts to ring. It was a mistake, she thinks. Coming here was a mistake. Next time she’s going to someone else. She bets 01 has a way cooler life than this town. Running away from here makes more sense than whatever the hell is happening here. She rolls these thoughts in her head, enjoying them as she waits as instructed. Trying not to wonder at why she’s waiting at all. The car that pulls up comes dangerously close and she almost has to slam on the hood to get it to stop. The driver has the grace to look surprised but then his eyes narrow, like this is just a regular day for him.

“Are you Kali?” he questions, opening the door.

“Depends on who you are,” she says giving her best devil may care smile. He lets out a long suffering sigh like this is just what happens now. “you are?” she prods.

“I’m Steve,” he says, “Jane called me.”

She appraises him, all slim lines and chiseled jaw. He looks like one of those boys that Dottie likes seeing on her magazines. Or Axel sometimes stares at a little longer than he should. His clothes are good quality but have seen better days. Unless he’s just been gardening, in which case, he’s not like the boys on those magazines at all. She wonders if 011 has been stupid enough to tell him the specifics, or if she’s just told him to stand still like Kali’s some wounded, skittish animal.

“Are you my babysitter?” she asks and he smirks.

“Yeah, so get in the car,” he says without missing a beat.

She looks back at the high school and shrugs.

Can’t possibly be worse than where she’s been.

He actually is a god damn babysitter.

It floors her when the day lets out and there’s a dozen rugrats 011’s age scurrying around. For all the things they can do, she forgets how young 011 actually is. And yet no age can make this better as they talk about things they shouldn’t know about like they’re discussing the weather. Steve has snacks ready to go and somehow gets the circus that’s happening under control while she stares at it with a mix of frustration and exasperation. 011 seems to be steadfastly ignoring it, looking down at her textbooks like a coward.

“Does this happen every day?” she demands rounding on Steve.

“Uh, most days,” he says.

“And what are you doing here?” she questions.

“Identity crisis,” he says without skipping a beat.

She lets out a noise of frustration.

“Screaming room’s there,” the one called Dustin says pointing his pencil, “we killed a Demidog in there so it’s got bad vibes. Get it all out.”

She’s going to kill them all.

Steve makes up the sofa because, again, he’s a babysitter. And a maid. And a chef apparently, which seems like a lot for someone going through a crisis. He studies a lot too and she finds that even stranger. She remarks that one day, flopping on the couch and watching some dumb gameshow she’s never seen.

“You’re very busy for someone in the middle of a crisis,” she says.

“I multitask,” he replies.

She swings herself off the couch, dressed only in a long t-shirt and saunters over to him. He glances up once and then looks back down, focusing intently on a book until she grabs it out of his hand, spinning it back towards her. She glances at it and then looks at him, raising an eyebrow as he suddenly finds the counter interesting.

“This is a chemistry text book,” she says.

“Yeah.”

“You graduated didn’t you?” she asks and he nods, “so why are you—“

“I’m taking a year off,” he gets out, clearly embarrassed and she rolls her eyes, shoving the book back at him.

“I didn’t even go to high school,” she says airily and retreats back to the couch.

011 has told her boys everything. Kali’s been smart enough to keep her band at an arms length, not telling them everything. 011 hasn’t extended that courtesy. They aren’t even surprised to see her, though she supposes that one can go to straight old logic as the labs were kind enough to number them chronologically. Her 008 has caused her a lot of frustration over the years but now it feels obvious. Like a marker everyone is aware of in ways she doesn’t want them to be. Irrationally she wants to hunt Terry Ives down and demand to know if the crazy bitch has more plans to ruin everything. Or maybe her sister does and can meddle some more.

“I cried when they tattooed me,” she tells Steve one day when it’s raining out, “they said it wouldn’t hurt but it did,” she fingers the numbers, “at the time.”

“You get any since?” he asks and she turns over her shoulder to flash him a wicked smile that makes him shift his weight.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she says. His eyes linger just a fraction too long on her collar bone and she rolls over, gets to her knees, “do you have any tattoos?” she challenges and he laughs.

“Not the type,” he says.

“What type is that?” she asks, “the dangerous type? The rebellious type?” she closes the distance between them, “the delinquent type?”

“I was gonna say the kidnapped and imprisoned type,” he says and she purses her lips.

“No, I suppose you’re not the type at all.”

She really can’t place him which becomes a source of frustration to her. They’re known for drawing in people who are useful to them—which he isn’t—or who please them—which he doesn’t—or who are trustworthy. He offers nothing, pleases no-one and he might be trustworthy but she doesn’t trust people. 011 trusts too many it seems. She corners the bowl haircut one with the sad eyes. Not to be confused with the bowl haircut one with the goo goo eyes and questions him. He coughs up the answer with minimal prodding and she saunters over to Steve.

“So,” she says, “you got your heart broken. Trying to win back fair maiden’s hand?”

“No,” he scoffs. She leans forward and he pulls back.

“Your ears are red,” she says, curling a piece of hair out of the way as if to show him. He jerks at the touch and she grins, “you know being a stay at home dad is kind of a libido killer. You should be out there showing how desirable you are.”

“Thanks, but, I’m not taking romance advice from—from—“

“Someone who can make someone do anything they want?” she asks, “I could win Nancy faster than you,” she says, wicked ideas occurring to her, “I could win her back for you,” she says, “make her want to see you instantly.“

“That’s not love,” he says and she laughs.

“They can’t tell the difference.”

“Yeah, but you can.”

It’s an obvious statement. Her laugh is edged in brittle all of a sudden, sharp edges clawing out. Brittle doesn’t have a place here. Not in this storybook kitchen, not in the lives of people who haven’t been ruined. She knows she’s the oddity here, but just how odd seems to hit her with the unexpected look in his eyes. She knows that look, the scientists used to give it to her all the time.

“It’s all the same to me,” she dismisses, pushing away from the table, “when you want me to get your girlfriend back, you let me know.”

She lays awake that night seething. It’s been a long time since she turned a conversation over in her head like this. She’s not sure why. Steve Harrington is a loser, in the kindest sense of the word. A bright star who fell fast and he’s now reduced to this shit town with his shit job and babysitting these shit kids. She hates this town. She never should have come back here. She starts to formulate a plan to leave.

She must talk in her sleep because there’s a lot of waffles for breakfast.

She stares at them and then at the one responsible.

“Don’t win my ex-girlfriend back,” he says, “not loving someone back isn’t a crime. And she has someone she loves so, just, leave it.”

She stares at him.

“Are you really that good of a person?” she questions.

He shrugs.

“Nah, i’m not.”

“Thats what a good person would say.”

She takes the peace offering, realizing what it is. When she’s done she sets her silverware down and stands up, coming in front of him. He follows her with his eyes as she gathers the hem of her shirt in her hands and pulls it over her head, turning her back to him. He stares at the tattoo and she gathers her hair up for the full effect. He swallows tightly and she drops her shirt back on.

“They marked me with their name, so i marked my own.”

She enjoys the look in his eyes maybe a little too much as he watches her sit back down and dig into another waffle. Steve stares at his plate silently and she feels a shiver of delight at a power that she rarely gets the chance to use. When color comes back into his cheeks, he clear his throat before getting up and walking away, shifting his too tight jeans as he goes.

Running away taught her a long time ago that men come in all shades of monster. There’s all kinds of violations your body can go through, all kinds of walls you need to keep them out. Steve could easily be one of them, he has the constantly frustrated look of someone who spent a long time thinking the world was one way, only to find out it isn’t. There is nothing malicious about him though, but Kali has been wrong about that assumption before. Trusted too easily, paid a price in a long line on her right breast that will never go away.

She resolves to try it, just a little push to see how he reacts. Little is often easier with proximity and darkness so that night she goes to his room. She closes her eyes and reaches for his mind. It’s pliable and soft, he’s no great genius nor does he have a wealth of defenses up against her. The goodness is there, somewhere deep in all of this but deeper still is the determination. The grit. It catches her off guard, slips her control and she’s wrenched back to where she is, standing above him. His eyes open and he jerks awake, looking at her with wide eyes. She chokes on something that she’s not calling emotion, waiting for the anger. But he just reaches over to the side of the bed and pulls out a tissue.

“Your nose is bleeding,” he says. When she makes no move to take it he presses himself to his feet. He towers over her but maybe for the first time in her adult life, this is simply a fact. “Here, lemme.” He touches the tissue under her nose and takes her hand, guiding it there. She goes to tilt her head back and he shakes his, “lean forward,” he says. She looks at him doubtfully, “just trust me?” She doesn’t move, “what do you have to lose?”

At the moment? Nothing.

She doesn’t want that to change.

She tips her head forward anyway. The bleeding stops quickly. He hands her another tissue and she takes it, careful not to touch any of him. He sits back on the bed as she tosses them into the bin. He looks up at her and she feels unsettled by how calm he is.

“You okay?” He asks and she starts at the question, “you wanna sleep here?”

She waits until his breathing is deep and even before she risks looking over at him. He’s curled on his side, his back is to her and she wonders what else Dottie said is a lie. Or if Steve is just different. She doesn’t like either option. She closes her eyes and lets out a long breath, trying to steady her pounding heart.

She has to get out of here.

“And go where?” 011 demands.

“Nowhere you need to worry that pretty little head about,” she says.

“Why did you come?”

The question stings and makes her feel embarrassed all at once. None of which she’s willing to show. She looks over her shoulder. Steve is pretending to read, but his eyes are fixed on one word. It stings across her mind like a brand and she hates him for it. Especially the intent behind it.

“I was looking for my sister,” she says, “if you ever find her, tell her I was here?”

She walks out as Jane’s face collapses. As the book slams shut. As Steve catches the door she throws open and follows her out. Venom floods her mouth as she turns, ready to burn the last thing she has here. The stupid, fragile thing that will ignite with nothing from either of them. That’s how the world works.

“Hey!” He says, “you can’t talk to her like that! She’s just a kid!”

“I was a kid once too, that didn’t stop anyone from talking to me like that!”

“That’s your excuse?” He demands and she feels her hackles raise, “someone did it to me so I’m going to do it to someone else?”

“I’m sure that’s not easy for you to understand with people giving you everything and you just passing it along. I’m surprised your parents aren’t worried with you playing house like this, surprised they’re so willing to share their precious boy.”

She knows she crossed some kind of line, knows it a moment too late at the look on his face. Amidst her crashing stomach she consoles herself with the fact that she made him angry, which was always her plan. The anger is there, but it’s mixed with something far worse and she rails against the pity. She doesn’t want anyone’s pity. She wants his fear, she wants his respect, she wants–she shoves away the alarming number of things she wants and glares up at him.

“You don’t know the first thing about me,” he says and she laughs cruelly.

“I don’t need to,” she says, “you’re just like everyone else.”

“Spoken exactly like someone who shaved half their head,” he snaps, “you think standing in the corner makes you unique? Or better? Everyone has their own story. Their own past they’re trying to deal with.”

“I’m sure you had such a hard life,” she sneers, “delaying growing up playing house with all these kids. Going for Dad of the year like yours was?”

“And you’re doing the exact same thing the lab did.”

She slaps him.

Not with her mind, with her hand. Slaps him and feels the sting of it in her had.

“Take that back,” she hisses. He says nothing, “take it back!” She yells and reaches for his mind.

He screams through gritted teeth as she digs in. Everyone’s yelling and she hears them coming as he drops to his knees. The bastard still throws a hand out to stop them. She ignores it and digs through his thoughts, his emotions. Past the goodness to the determination, to the core. She sees parents who aren’t there, parents who don’t care. A mother who laments her son losing a great girl without knowing he was lied to, a father who shakes his head and never sees. She sees bruises under his skin, pain that isn’t the kind you can stop but leaves a much deeper scar. She sees a boy sitting forgotten on the steps of a school, his pain indistinguishable from a girl who goes to sleep with no one to tuck her in.

“Let him go!”

The boy who tackles her ignores him and though she catches him, she’s not quite fast enough to catch 011 who severs their connection. Steve’s bleeding too, his eyes going in and out of focus but he still staggers up, catches Dustin in his arms.

“It’s okay, man, I’m okay,” he says, “let it go.”

“Leave!” 011 roars at her, the moment they’re in the house, “I want you gone. Steve did nothing but be nice to you and you hurt him. We might be sisters but you–you are not welcome here anymore,” she looks at her, “apologize first, fix it, then you leave.”

Kali stares at her quietly, unable to find her anger.

He really is a good person, she thinks dully, too shell shocked to push the thought away. She trails down the corridor to the bathroom. Steve’s hunched over the toilet, Dustin, Lucas and Max all arguing above him over a bottle of aspirin. Steve’s trying to wave them off. She feels the memory of no-one doing this for him. They all look at her and she feels rightfully embarrassed, but it’s been a long time since she has and she refuses to give into it around them. Steve’s head moves up and she rolls her eyes, realizing she’ll have to get over it.

“Can I fix him? Please?”

“Hey screw you, you’re not going in his head again,” Dustin snaps.

“Fine, he can stay like that,” she says as he hurls again.

“Let her in,” Steve groans and she moves in, sticking her tongue out when he isn’t looking. She kneels down by the toilet, ignoring the smell, “can you–” he begins miserably before being sick again.

She’s not good at this, it’s on her tongue to say so, but he looks like he wants to die and the three kids behind him look like they want to go with him. She has to try. This is her fault. Taking a deep breath, she reaches forward and flushes the toilet. Her hand comes out and pushes through his hair, finding the spots on his skull. She closes her eyes and nudges again. Steve chokes and she bands her other hand around his chest, stabilizing his jaw. She feels and pulls, soothing the sharp edges of their connection she forced. She tries to cling to his determination, his goodness, all the things that seem so miraculous to her and are so natural to him. After a long moment, she releases him and they collapse onto the tiled, staring at each other.

When she goes to push herself up, his hand covers hers and he shakes his head.

She looks back at 011 who raises her chin and then turns, walking away. She pulls her hand back, knowing that he may have seen things that she didn’t want him to. She’s embarrassed, suddenly. Even though she doesn’t think she should be. She is. She licks her lips and tastes blood. He pushes himself up and grabs toilet paper. Instead of giving it to her he looks at her and she nods, letting him touch the paper to her upper lip. He tosses it into the bin and lays down. After a moment she scoots over, pulls his head into her lap.

“I don’t want to be like them,” she says, “I don’t want to be like this,” she shakes her head, “I don’t want to be stuck.”

“Me neither,” he says finally.

Kali closes her eyes and lets herself feel ashamed.

Steve grasps the hand she has settled on her shoulder.

For the first time in a long time, she feels fear.

She wakes up with a stiff back and a Steve snoring in her lap. She’s as stuck as he is in a completely different way. She doesn’t know why she cares or even if she should. She probably shouldn’t. No, she definitely shouldn’t. The thrill it sends to her is dangerous on every level. Dangerous in a stupid way. She really does have to get out of this shit town. She folds a towel and replaces Steve’s head on it. She throws another one over him in case he gets cold and goes off to find his protector.

“We need to talk.”

A few hours later Steve comes out as they’re finished packing. He rubs at his eyes which are less bloodshot. His head still might be sore but he’s just going to have to deal. Dustin elbows her and she steps forward, handing him the two aspirin and the water. He takes them both silently, looking at her with confusion.

“So, I am sorry again for psychically attacking you,” she says, “they don’t make an apology card for that.”

“This works,” he says hoarsely and takes the pills.

“And,” she continues, “I’m leaving,” he pauses and sets down the glass. Her mouth goes dry at the stab of disappointment and hurt in his eyes. Emboldened she puts her chin in her hand, “but I can’t get there in time by myself, so, you’re going to have to come with me.”

He drops the glass.

“What?” He croaks, looking at the fragments on the floor, “I can’t just–”

“Drive off with a mysterious stranger?” She asks, “that’s odd because they say you can.”

Dustin grins and holds up his duffle bag. Steve stares at him and he nods encouragingly. He looks at her and she meets his gaze. They are both stuck, that’s been admitted even if it was under duress. She’s stuck in a way that she’s not sure she can ever undo. Even wants to undo. He’s stuck in a different way. One that seems so easy to fix for her. Maybe some part of him hopes that the way she’s stuck might be easy for him to fix too. She can see him thinking everything over and realizes she doesn’t want the embarrassment if he says no. She’d rather lick her wounds alone. She picks up her bag and slings it over her shoulder, stepping out on the road and shading her eyes. She flits with the idea of stealing his car and dismisses it. Though it would be a good lesson. By the time she turns around, though, it’s too late.

He’s there.

Something in her chest gives. He looks nervous as hell and she can’t blame him after the past day, but that stubborn look is in his eyes. This is why he’s not like his parents, because he refuses to be. It’s not the kind of thing that can be taught, not in time. But she can marvel at it anyway. He opens the trunk and puts his bag in, looking at her for a second before nodding. She drops her bag besides his and smiles daringly up at him, squinting in the bright light. Whatever catty thing she’s about to say is lost as he settles a pair of sunglasses on her nose.

“Better?” He rasps.

She stands on her toes and presses her lips to the corner of his mouth. Electricity shoots through her in a way it hasn’t before and her seems to jump with it too. For a moment she considers their connection might still be there, but she’s out of his head. The only thing that’s done this is the part of her that is very much like everyone else. She gets her smile up just in time, pressing her finger to his jaw.

“We’ll see.”

[gamesoffate]

The Darker Grey: Arc1 Ses8

[Watch P1 Here] [Watch P2 Here] [Watch P3 Here]

Mission/Session Eight

Oh look, it’s my fucking turn again to spin the tale of our daily life in the big bad Greyhounds. Such a fucking waste of time but whatever…HERE WE GO YOU DICKBAGS!

Alright, since we are going by chronological order, I wasn’t exactly there for this situation. Our good moron Percy explaining what wonderful thing he got himself into. Apparently while we were out dealing with Mike, our dearly departed dip shit of a leader that now lies riddled with bullets…Good riddance. 

But yeah back to the thing that happened. Percy wakes up chained to some bed in some normal ass looking room. Sure that’s nothing new for him but yeah. The young library wench that we took the money from places a curse on him that he can’t steal anymore, throwing sawdust all over him and shit. Magic is fucking weird and stupid but yeah. She says he will be cursed until he pays her back completely. Her motive other than that was that she found out we blinded that old bag Mag who ran that mystic shop. Old bitch would have died soon anyway, what’s wrong with being blind for the rest of her short years? People are soo fucking whiny. So yeah only the library bitch is the only one that can take the curse off. 

Percy, of course agrees to do this, not known for manning up to anything. Apparently she claps and his dumb ass wakes up in front of the QBF covered in dew and shit.

So this is when the rest of this group including the awesome mother fucker writing this piece of shit report is sitting in the usual spot. There’s a crying woman, Itniss’ gf or whatever but nobody bothers to ask what is up. Like we would give a shit anyway. Itniss is comforting her though. How cute. I’m not rolling my eyes. 

Sincere, that little wimpy shit comes up to us and with his usual little weak ass self. He asks Hazel who I just ragged about losing her eye that Rolan, his dead friend was supposed to be in some tournament and asks her to take his position in the fight because she’s strong and since his dead bf died, he would have to fight and we all know that wouldn’t end well. Useless twat. She says ‘we’ll see’. Apparently the tournament is this afternoon so she doesn’t have much time to decide.

Percy then asks the million dollar question about her missing eye then she redirects it to me. I’m not going to tell some absent doucher what happened so I withheld the info. Percy has no idea where he went apparently and neither do we. I just assumed he ran away like a little bitch as always. 

Percy then explains the events that happened, already explained above. I aint writing it again, for the love of fuck. So the genius I am says we should just force them to take off the curse. My gun is good for this sort of thing. I remember her being a little mouse so shouldn’t be a problem. Percy says they need the money and I we agree as long as we get it back. We can always kill the bitch and take it. No big deal.

I’m feeling proud still having come from the successful night of killing that useless prick Mike so I had to brag cause hell yeah! Fuck that guy! 

Then the front door blasts open and Boss lady comes stomping in with her samurai wannabe ass partner (one of those ooh so amazing Alpha’s). They are arguing about some stupid shit and rules and yada yada I don’t know what the fuck they are on about. They push past my druggie I brought on board and Toshiro uses his token ‘bitch tits’ line. Articulate.  They go upstairs, talking about compromise. Idfk.

Yunam is just about to leave when Rajeet comes up to our table or as I like to call him, boss number three. He stops Yunam and nudges his head back to the table. Boss 3 tries to give us a mission but we talk about sorting the curse out first. He calls it a personal problem and gives us some mission about getting in the good graces of the Mayor of the mines, his royal sootness! Apparently now we can’t be found responsible for killing any officials or some shit. I was losing interest. Details, details. 

Our mission for the night is to go to some scrap metal factory that turns shit to weapons, located out in the boonies. We are simply to fuck the place up so it doesn’t work anymore. Simple shit, nothing more. I ask questions and he gets bitchy, bringing up my dead father that I shot through the fucking chest with a shot gun. Wouldn’t mind doing the same to this Boss 3. Stupid prick. 

We go to get Yunam to help with the whole curse shit. We got upstairs, me and Percy. Little boy is napping…of course. We hear noises from a room, rage induced voices. Hopefully not Boss 1 and 2 having angry sex or some shit. We get closer and hear them arguing that this is a partnership even as Anakah is becoming true alpha, Grey dog. 

Anakah is sticking up for our group saying we are worthy of being Beta’s but Toshiro disagrees the dumb ass hat. Toshiro goes on about it taking others years to become Beta’s and we have only been there for a few days. Anakah sticks by her decision but then Toshiro says it’s just cause she likes us. Then it’s a pissing contest between them about being jealous and shit. 

Percy finally knocks and Toshiro answers and grunts like a caveman with less brains. I of course greet him with ‘What’s up bitch?’ We ask to speak to Anakah, the he slams the door and she opens it again. Percy asks for the money needed for the lifting of the curse. She says as long as we will return it. Like we would let them keep it. I ask for my spear, the one she said she would have given back to me. So get this, she fucking tells me to ask Boss 3. FUCKING REALLY?! Go fucking figure! She’s way too busy dealing with the bloodhounds and shit to keep her word to me. 

Apparently while we were coming back down, Sincere bugs Hazel again about the tournament. She agrees for half the prize after she finishes her drink. Guess she can only see half the situation. Whatever.

I ask about one eye going with us to take the curse off Percy. She says nah, probably still upset about losing the eye. Boo fucking hoo! No need for her anyway. Then I go up to Boss 3 Rajeetbag. Apparently the stupid fuck sold it. I’m this close to pistol whipping his stupid fucking face but yeah can’t do that! How un grey houndly! He asks Sincere about the spear. Sincere is scared of boss 3 apparently. They agree to go to the marketplace after the tournament. I demand the little wimp Sincere to get it back and he starts fucking crying. As much as I love being feared, this is fucking pathetic. 

We come to an agreement and Rajeet gives me the money to get the spear back. They go to the tournament while we go to the library. We arrive at the library and I stand outside while Percy goes in to deal with this cause me showing up would not make it easy. Plus I don’t give a shit. I’m to listen out and make sure Percy doesn’t get dragged out. The usual. 

Percy goes and talks to Petunia and tries to get the curse off, they try it once and Percy attempts to steal and fails miserable, looking much like the fool he is. He goes back and she wants to try again but apparently he’s sick of it and tries to use blue spirit magic to take it and fails. What a loser. 

By this point I go around the back and climb this chimney closed off for their renovation, though it’s rough to climb I make it to the window cause I’m Nazeem and look in to see this shit going on. 

At this point he has failed the blue spirit thing and she screams while throwing books. The other library bitch comes up and asks what’s going on. Percy notices me and just as a book hits his stupid fucking face, he says I’m the one who stole the money and I jump in to end this stupid bullshit, pulling my trusty gun out. I demand they both get to the back and to take the stupid curse off. If she fails I will kill her. 

Apparently it works, dumbass testing his returning stealing skills on me, taking my compass without me knowing. We demand the money back, threateningly, the only way to handle anything. Percy takes the book. I scare the shit out of them and they give me the key to the money and we get it back. Mission success. I threaten them again along with their families for good measure so they don’t try some shit like this again. 

With that finished, we return to the QBF and give the money back then head to the tournament which is held in some stable. People are fighting in this make shift ring, the usual lumbering, big moron type. There is some fancy person in a purple dress with blonde hair. She looks important. 

But yeah two guys are fighting, one very fat and the other muscular when Percy and I show up right when the fat ass of the two knees the other so hard there is some loud ass crunch. The muscular dude goes down. A little boy takes ten fucking minutes to pull the muscular dude away. 

Hazel is told to take to the ring. Rules are simple enough, don’t step out of the circle. Hazel has to fight fat ass now. Reward is money and some nice gloves. 

I decide to threaten Sincere, saying if Hazel loses imma kill him with my arm around him. I keep it there. He trembles but then stiffens saying he believes in Hazel. Uhuh. We shall see. 

The two in the ring circle one another, not doing a damn fucking thing. I thought this was supposed to be a damn fight! Hazel finally provokes the big fucker and he charges at her but she ducks out of the way with ease and he slides out of the circle and bonks his stupid head in the wall. And it’s over. I want my money back. This wasn’t a fight at all. How anticlimactic. I tell Sincere he gets to live another day as pointless that is for him. 

The little boy lifts her arm and says she wins and calls her fury. Cyclops would have been a better fighter name. Libby, the purple lady not lady brings Hazel the trophy and gloves. 

Sincere holds onto the trophy and money with a stupid smile on his face like he did it himself. This fucking idiot is a greyhound. 

Next up is to get my fucking spear back. Hazel asks Sincere about half her cut when we are leaving. I help her out by making Sincere give her more than half, the more he was trying to keep for himself. Kids these days. Sincere cries per the norm and I tell him to shut the fuck up. Parenting 101. 

We leave and arrive at some outside market. Looks like a run down cheap ass place. My spear better be fucking here. I go ask the weapon tent owner about the spear and once again I’m told it’s not where it should be, that she sold it to Libby, purple person. 

Yunam apparently bought some gloves and sold his stolen tomatoes for money. Percy goes and buys a fucking crab at a fish stand. A fucking crab named Fred apparently! Seriously, this is fucking stupid. Hazel buys greaves too before we all leave. 

We make it back to the stable/fight club. Nobody seems to be there. Percy goes into another area and finds Libby and we ask about the spear. At first we can’t find it in the storage room and then Hazel in her old cop ways even with one eye missing notices footsteps leading from the storage room. I’m soo fucking livid at this point considering we STILL HAVEN’T FOUND THE FUCKING SPEAR! I fucking hate this fucking cat and mouse BULLSHIT! 

Hazel follows the footprints and they find two guys hiding behind one of the horses. They see us and one says he can explain everything. Then he tries to run and Hazel clotheslines him and Percy captures him. Other guy hiding asks if they want the spear. Of fucking course I do! For fuck sakes this is such a pain. Everyone is such a fucking moron!

He asks them to let them go. I scare him into giving the spear over which he does willingly all the while nearly pissing his pants no doubt along with his money. I ask for the other guys money too and get it. They ask if we are going to arrest us cause they know Hazel was a cop or some shit. Then we find out they were the ones in the bank robbing it on the same day as us for the spear. Funny how life works out huh? 

Hazel then lets them go, giving them a lesson not to steal again or they have to deal with her. Before they go however, we ask who they were getting the spear for and why. They proclaim themselves the STICKY PAWS and we let them go…seriously what a stupid fucking name. 

They are about to leave with the spear when Libby asks for her money back cause she bought the spear back fair and square. We come to an agreement that Sincere give her back the trophy and it’s square. He gives a sob story about how his friend Rolan was the fighter and his best friend, beating all the big guys and wants the trophy to remember him by. Must have been his bf or some shit. I wasn’t falling for it, just seemed like utter horse shit to me. Memories are there to remember someone by, no need for a trophy. 

Sincere tries to say he will pay Libby back some other way cause he’s a Greyhound. Libby does not fall for it and asks for the trophy and after standing there crying SOME MORE, he hands it off to her. 

Libby tells Hazel that she is welcome to come back and fight cause she has talent unlike Sincerely gets his ass kicked. Yeah of course. I bet if he was on the other side of her, Hazel wouldn’t have won that fight. 

I tell Sincere not to worry we will get him another trophy then walk away laughing maniacally. I’m quite proud of that one. Sincere then says what happened to Yunam. Of course he’s not here anymore. He hopes the boy doesn’t get attacked by the sweepers again-the mask freaks. He says they attack a certain type of people. But Yunam is a kid and that’s all we know about him so who the fuck knows why they attacked him. 

Hazel finds Yunam’s footprints where he had sneaked away from us probably for some inane reason. We follow Cyclops. Percy uses the line I used on Libby when she found me trying to steal the trophy back  in just a dead pan voice. After getting the spear back I was in a good enough mood to accept his stupid ass compliment. 

We follow Hazel who follows the footprints back to the QBF…SHOCKER! Yunam is apparently napping and only woken by Toshiro who tells him its time for his writing lesson. 

Percy gives his crab friend, Fred to Crazy Cooke and he loses his shit and goes to prepare it. Hazel goes to check on Yunam and I get bothered by my druggie that I got to join about drugs. I ask for money and he just goes on about drugs. Literally….this goes on for too long….

I’m fucking tired of writing this bullshit so imma stop here. I’ll leave whoever’s next to write the rest of this crap. I hope you find this report useful! Hah, just kidding! I don’t give a flying fuck! Have an awful day!

[garden-of-succulents]

I was trying to put some of Bitty’s tweets in order for a small screencap but then it just turned out to be easier??? to format the entire month of March 2016??? IDEK a little bit of computer code is a dangerous thing to know

ANYWAY. As available here, except in chronological order, here are Bitty’s most recently-released tweets:

1  @omgcheckplease:  I refuse to talk about politics, but I literally let out a sigh of relief when coach told me who he voted for. <3 THANKS, POP!

2  @omgcheckplease:  Personally? I'd teach the finer workings of Samwell hockey anywhere but on that upholstered cesspool we call a couch, but I trust Lardo.

3  @omgcheckplease:  Lardo: And if someone's late you just write it down. If someone doesn't show let RH know. Ford: RH. RansomHolster. Got it. Lardo: 'swawes.

4  @omgcheckplease:  Ford: Right. I get that it's positive? But why do you guys say 'swawesome? Me: You'll find something weirder to worry about soon enough.

5  @omgcheckplease:  Nursey: Hey, Las Vegas is playing Providence tonight. Dex: Uh oh. Jack versus Parse. Dex: I'm obvs rooting for Jack but that should be good.

6  @omgcheckplease:  I shouldn't be thinking about jam this much, but here I am. Thank my wonderful aunt.

7  @omgcheckplease:  NHL players like pie--but also mason jars filled w/ jam prepared according to an old family & aunt-perfected recipe. (A lil' bird told me.)

8  @omgcheckplease:   But when your friend asks you to make a batch, does he mean enough for his team? Does that include the coaching staff?

9  @omgcheckplease:  Whew! Now I can hit the hay. #PVDFalconers!

10  @omgcheckplease:  What Ransom &I Talk About: - Hockey / The underclassmen - Life plans - Music - Dating and significant others. - Alexei Mashkov's instagram

11  @omgcheckplease:  Tango: I had a date to homecoming my senior year, but before that I was homecoming alone. Nursey: PFFFFFT. Dex: Jesus, Tango. Chowder:...OH

12  @omgcheckplease:  Picked up my phone to capture that poor child Tango's words in tweet form.

13  @omgcheckplease:  The #GoPVDFalconers appreciate their fans; I appreciate the #GoPVDFalconers; I therefore appreciate all Falconers fans!! <3

14  @omgcheckplease:  I'm nervous because I'm always nervous before hockey...but I've never seen Ransom and Holster so jittery.

15  @omgcheckplease:  But for good reason. #ECACHockey QTR Finals, here we come.

16  @omgcheckplease:  I'm excited for my day or three of visiting a special someone (<3), but I need to give this team 100% of my focus. #SamwellMensHockey

17  @omgcheckplease:  #GotYourBack

18  @omgcheckplease:  Tough loss. Thank you to everyone who made it out. #samwellhockey #ECACHockey

19  @omgcheckplease:  It's good to have someone who understands and can talk you through a loss, get you grounded for the next game. <3

20  @omgcheckplease:  Getting pump up texts from former teammates is one thing; getting texts from pros with no Samwell affiliation is another! #GoPVDFalconers

21  @omgcheckplease:  Y'all've seen Tater's instagram--I'm still not sure what all those parenthesis are supposed to mean???

22  @omgcheckplease:  Hey, y'all. Thanks so much to everyone who supported us this season! All the love in the stands and around campus means everything. <3

23  @omgcheckplease:  I'm so thankful for our seniors--our captains & our team manager--for giving us 110% of themselves. They exemplify the team motto. <3

24  @omgcheckplease:  Lots of love for Samwell hockey these last few days. Going to spend the break focusing on this team and our seniors especially.

25  @omgcheckplease:  Oh, my heart "hi b! hearing news..........(((" "thank u for jam! so good)))"

26  @omgcheckplease:  Doing some spring cleaning before I go and watch some games hosted by the national professional ice hockey league.

27  @omgcheckplease:  That Lardo and Ransom are finally organizing themselves for their birthdays their *senior* year is somehow appropriate. It's gonna be big.

28  @omgcheckplease:  I'm not even going to pretend that I retained MAX 5% of the French I learned. Y'all everyone has their talents; language is not mine.

29  @omgcheckplease:  Like, I remember some phrases & can read and understand more than I can speak? But If I had to call an ambulance in Marseille, I'd perish.

30  @omgcheckplease:  A beautiful language! I wish I were better! Oh and the pronunciation I learned is all jumbled up with Quebecois in my fool mind.

31  @omgcheckplease:  Why is it that I'm not at the Haus when the legendary Shitty Knight is back in town wreaking havoc in Samwell, MA?

32  @omgcheckplease:  oh smh group text is

33  @omgcheckplease:  Shitty: everyone knock on all the wood around you but can we give it up for JLZ & the Falcs Shitty: summer vacay we're smashed in Welltown

34  @omgcheckplease:  Lardo: I need to beat Alexei Mashkov at beer pong.

35  @omgcheckplease:  Jack: haha he's serious about that. Lardo: then why has it taken so long Lardo: time and place Shitty: yessss that's my girl

36  @omgcheckplease:  Tater is literally twice the mass of Larissa Duan.

37  @omgcheckplease:  Anyway! Back to (#) (◡‿◡) (!)

38  @omgcheckplease:  Ransom has his computer and Lardo is writing lists. They're up to something.

39  @omgcheckplease:  Nursey just texted me that he really needs "baked goods" this afternoon. I wonder why he's having a bad day?

40  @omgcheckplease:  Well! I'll be cooking for most of the day anyway! Because y'all? Jam is in **demand**

41  @omgcheckplease:  WHEW. There's something comforting about a warm kitchen full of mason jars.

42  @omgcheckplease:  The situation: A friend of a friend got hold of my aunt's jam, & now a good portion of a pro. hockey team is on a jam (or pie) waitlist.

43  @omgcheckplease:  He's got more important things to focus on at the moment, but a member of that team should be by this week to pick up the goods!

44  @omgcheckplease:  I'm being *so* vague. Y'all'll *never* guess which former Samwell hockey captain and #GoPVDFalconers star will be dropping by for jam.

45  @omgcheckplease:   And I really don't mind! I should be doing my reading for Alice, but she's getting jars too. Y'all, what's spring break FOR?

46  @omgcheckplease:  Dex just showed up, saw the chaos, and dropped his backpack in the corner. Dex: Need help? Me: Bless your heart.

47  @omgcheckplease:  Only on very rare occasions do I use that phrase with good will and a positive intent. <3 These frogs.

48  @omgcheckplease:  Nursey: He only wants your dibs. Dex: (1) Bitty's not graduating. (2) You know that people are capable of doing things for others, right?

49  @omgcheckplease:   Nursey: He only wants your jam. Dex: Dex: Bitty I wasn't going to say anything but it's my mom's birthday next week and

50  @omgcheckplease:  She's up to something.

51  @omgcheckplease:  This t-shirt might smell like cherries for the rest of its existence.

52  @omgcheckplease:  All these girls out here with majors like "engineering", "art", "cs", & "poli sci". I'm literally trying to graduate by writing a pie essay.

53  @omgcheckplease:   *A very lengthy pie essay. Unfurling the shifting roles of baked goods in specific historic eras is copious research.

54  @omgcheckplease:  Coach: How's school? Me: My GPA's at [OMITTED], meeting w/ my American Studies adviser on my thesis Coach: History? Me: Me: Pie history.

55  @omgcheckplease:  Holster: what ever happened to the better bitty's butt thing or whatever? Ransom: oh the bureau? i'm not saying we achieved goals but.

56  @omgcheckplease:  *Ahem* Though not much has changed I feel more confident in my assets. It was about bettering the bitty and not the booty all along.

57  @omgcheckplease:  Aw, well Ford sent out a lovely email to the boys. She's getting good practice in.

58  @omgcheckplease:   By lovely I mean a detailed schedule of dates for spring semester conditioning, but you get me.

59  @omgcheckplease:  I've been so focused on the making of pies & jam that I haven't noticed the STORM on the horizon. Hurricane Lardo&Rans are up to something.

60  @omgcheckplease:  They're not trying to hide anything from me, but this might have to do with the kegster they're planning. Or Lardo's birthday?

61  @omgcheckplease:  Or Rans'--their bdays are so close together. I gotta tie ribbons on a few dozen mason jars, I'll report when Holster spills the beans.

62  @omgcheckplease:  I ALMOST JUST DROPPED A JAR OF JAM.

63  @omgcheckplease:  Y'all the #EasterKegHunt, the Sunday kegster, and the birthdays are *all ONE THING*

64  @omgcheckplease:  =Group Text= Me: When were y'all going to tell me about this GIANT KEGSTER? Rans: I think we did. Lardo: p sure we did Dex: yuuuup

65  @omgcheckplease:  Chowder: u guys order the kegs in the kitchen! Holster: Bitty, kinda late, but you've been in a weird jam headspace for the last few days.

66  @omgcheckplease:  Okay, Nursey and Dex are downstairs and are going to help me out. I'm so confused.

67  @omgcheckplease:  I guess...I did make a lot of jam. It all happened so fast. These can all fit in Jack's car, right? He'd make two trips.

68  @omgcheckplease:  I'm going to bake a pie to recalibrate.

69  @omgcheckplease:  Jack: How much is there? Me: A few jars! Holster: Jack, we have the highest jam per capita in the state of Massachusetts.

70  @omgcheckplease:  Jack: It can't fit in one car? Please send a picture. Lardo: lol bring a friend Lardo:....bring tater

71  @omgcheckplease:  I've stepped out the Haus and can see the volume of jam I produced. I should have stuck to the rivers and lakes that I was used to.

72  @omgcheckplease:  New Falconers faceoffs for your AM viewing.

73  @omgcheckplease:  =On Shorts= Whiskey: Yeah. They don't look good on the average man. Tango: My legs get so hot. Whiskey: Well. Golf & basketball shorts.

74  @omgcheckplease:  Whiskey: swim trunks. I guess athletics shorts are fine. Tango: Mosquito bites when you're wearing jeans. Can never really get 'em.

75  @omgcheckplease:  Tango: when it comes to clothes, I just wear whatever and go. Whiskey: I'm taking the last pie slice.

76  @omgcheckplease:  I have no idea why I love these tadpoles so much, but I do.

77  @omgcheckplease:  Waking up to the sound of wheelbarrows and dollies thumping around downstairs. It's #KeagsterSunday.

78  @omgcheckplease:  Ah! Guess who's here and brought a friend!

79  @omgcheckplease:  Jack just sighed and looked at me. "Hey, Happy Easter. What's the jam situation?" Good morning to you too.

80  @omgcheckplease:  He actually said hi though. I'm paraphrasing. He's absolutely not ready though.

81  @omgcheckplease:  Tater: Hey, Zimmboni this not bad for uni party hauses, you know? Clean floor... Tater: [points] Wow curtain!

82  @omgcheckplease:  The Swallow moves fast, but these hockey players and these mason jars should be out of here soon.

83  @omgcheckplease:  But of course Alexei Mashkov wants a TOUR. "College! Yeah, show me everything!"

84  @omgcheckplease:  Whiskey and Tango looking very nice in suits. Jack: Hey [picks up box of jam] Whiskey: do you need help with that we can if you do but yeah

85  @omgcheckplease:  Tango:...Is Jack Zimmermann stealing Bitty's jam?

86  @omgcheckplease:  = Group Text = Nursey: whens the easter keg hunt Lardo: later Jack: hey y'all! You should drop by before Jack and Tater head out!

87  @omgcheckplease:  = Group Text = Jack: i'm on Jack's phone. Dex: The y'all sorta tipped it off.

88  @omgcheckplease:  Me: So that was *my* room, and this used to be Jack's, and down the hall are the stairs to the attic. Me: Oh hi Rans. Rans: .............T-

89  @omgcheckplease:   I think he just woke up.

90  @omgcheckplease:  Okay, we're all done here! I was about to put on a brunch for our lovely guests but *somebody* said quote: "Bits, you really don't have to."

91  @omgcheckplease:  Well, I was just *trying* to say goodbye to these young men when the door to the backyard opened. It was Lardo.

92  @omgcheckplease:  Lardo: Alexei Mashkov. Tater: [turns around slowly] Tater: ... Tater: Lardo.

93  @omgcheckplease:  Well, I'm starting brunch while Tater and Lardo sort all this out. Please don't get beer all over my clean floors.

94  @omgcheckplease:   *lunch with brunch food. Drat, it's too late for a ham. Well, we can only do our best, can't we?

95  @omgcheckplease:  Jack: where's Rans? Holster: Hiding. Holster: Didn't you guys say you were heading out like two hours ago? Jack: Yes.

96  @omgcheckplease:  I have no idea how many rounds they've played but Tater is shouting "best 7! best 7!" This food is gonna get cold.

97  @omgcheckplease:  Jack keeps asking Lardo and Tater if they want food. Instead, a shout--"Tango, bring me a plate. With food ON IT."

98  @omgcheckplease:  From the hallway. "WHAT! NO! No no no! No way!!! Best NINE!!!!!!"

99  @omgcheckplease:  Rans & Lardo made an event for a #KeagsterSunday Pre-game Kegster Hunt and and wellies are...beginning to show up. Um?

100  @omgcheckplease:  For the record, Tater's playing with water. Lardo's playing with who knows what.

101  @omgcheckplease:  Jack: Ok. Let's head out. Tater: Hey, it's fine! I mean, i'm doing better with crowd.

102  @omgcheckplease:  All right, Jack's cutting things short. ("COME ON, ZIMMERMANN!" "ZIMMBONI IT'S TIE!!!!" "No. You guys can have a rematch later.")

103  @omgcheckplease:   He's serious...

104  @omgcheckplease:  Jack went up to the attic to wish his our captain a happy birthday...And they're off. Lardo and Tater are...friends? Colleagues?

105  @omgcheckplease:  Oh my goodness. Whenever we decide to name a kegster, something strange is bound to happen. #KeagsterSunday

106  @omgcheckplease:  You're not doing college right if you're not finding easter eggs filled with miniature liquor in your backyard.

107  @omgcheckplease:  And yes, they do make mini kegs. The frolicking!

108  @omgcheckplease:  Ransom: Do you think Tater and Jack will come back? Holster: Um. Holster: Sure, bud.

109  @omgcheckplease:  The Group Text Shitty: what the fucking heck is going on in Samwell, Massachusetts.

110  @omgcheckplease:   Lardo: i was so close shits

111  @omgcheckplease:  Whiskey: It's cool how Jack just drops by whenever. That's alumni relations! Tango: ....Huh...Isn't it because he's--OW.

112  @omgcheckplease:  Dex just smacked Tango in the back of the head. It could have been a dance move. It's a kegster, who knows.

113  @omgcheckplease:  Tango: ow.........OHh! He wasn't stealing the jam! Haha, wow, I'm glad.

114  @omgcheckplease:   Ohhh, *his friend and our captain!

115  @omgcheckplease:  New conditioning sched: afternoon practice and afternoon classes mean late night baking and bad habits.

116  @omgcheckplease:  There are times when I thrive rising early? (Esp. when it means trying out new things for breakfast.) But other times...well!

117  @omgcheckplease:  Despite my team being creatures of habit, we're also college students / love sleeping in. Not natural early birds (well, most of us)!

118  @omgcheckplease:  Not sure if y'all remember, but I used to Tweet about Shitty busting in on Jack quite a bit. Those were mornings! Classic #SamwellMensHockey

119  @omgcheckplease:  Big game for the Falconers tonight...#GoPVDFalconers!

120  @omgcheckplease:  Nervous for hockey. The Falc have been looking so strong this season. Let's go, boys! #GoPVDFalconers

121  @omgcheckplease:  Chowder: !!! Is that Shitty and Lardo on the jumbotron??? Chowder: Oh, it's not. Well, I still like those people!

122  @omgcheckplease:  Pie's in the kitchen, we're in the den, laptops and textbooks and pies and hockey. Good vibes from here to Providence. #SamwellMensHockey

123  @omgcheckplease:  (I have a reading response due in two hours that I should have done over spring break, but c'est la vie. (I remember French!))

124  @omgcheckplease:  During commercial breaks, I'm wondering how this TV has managed to survive so many kegsters, even if it's been carefully stowed away.

125  @omgcheckplease:   If you remember, Shitty had his door kicked in one year--nothing's safe. But THE GAME.

126  @omgcheckplease:  Ugh.

127  @omgcheckplease:  They had a good screen on Snowy; he didn't even see the puck.

128  @omgcheckplease:  By the way, watching anything with Holster means you're watching something with Holster. "These announcers are Schooner announcers, geez."

129  @omgcheckplease:  "I'm telling you, the do more close-ups on Jack than anyone else."

130  @omgcheckplease:  "Hey, Rans, it's Tater, the love of your life. For the record, I think Alexei Mashkov thinks my name is Randy and Ransom's name is Adam."

131  @omgcheckplease:  "Their power play is killer. OH, Shitty just texted everyone that they're DEFINITELY doing more close ups on Jack. How's that not creepy?!"

132  @omgcheckplease:  1-1 !!!!!!!!!

133  @omgcheckplease:  Me: POOTS!!!!! Dex: They don't actually call him that, right? Dex: At least Jack wouldn't-- Dex: I called a guy Shitty for an entire year.

134  @omgcheckplease:  Nursey: Kent Parson's been in like 3 commercials since we turned this on.

135  @omgcheckplease:   We're all confused by this. Uncanny on a number of levels.

136  @omgcheckplease:  Down. Come on, y'all.

137  @omgcheckplease:  When it comes to my peach pies, Ransom in part

138  @omgcheckplease:  YES

139  @omgcheckplease:  Never check on a pie during play because you'll miss your FRIEND SCORING!!!!!!!

140  @omgcheckplease:  I need to see that replay 20 more times, so someone better post that online in the next 60 seconds, thanks. #GoPVDFalconers

141  @omgcheckplease:  Half of Samwell men's hockey is in the den about to watch this last period of the #GoPVDFalconers game.

142  @omgcheckplease:  No shade to Seattle, but they HAVE to lose. (Even though I think #16 for the Schooners is getting a jar of vanilla bean plum from me?)

143  @omgcheckplease:  (I have no idea. A Falc owed one gentleman who was roommates w/ another player--I just gave it all to Jack and try not to think about it)

144  @omgcheckplease:  Schooners power play. Lord.

145  @omgcheckplease:  Come on. I swear this team does better when their backs are to the wall.

146  @omgcheckplease:  PLEASE

147  @omgcheckplease:  Lardo' s stress snapchats are calming in a time like this.

148  @omgcheckplease:  Lord. Another penalty to kill. #GoPVDFalconers

149  @omgcheckplease:  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!

150  @omgcheckplease:  TATER SHORT-HANDED AAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

151  @omgcheckplease:  Oh my god, I'm crying. They could make it. Oh Lord.

152  @omgcheckplease:  Watching is one hundred times more stressful than being on the ice.

153  @omgcheckplease:  Lord! It's easier to tweet and listen to these boys reactions, haha!

154  @omgcheckplease:  mY HEART.

155  @omgcheckplease:  Half a dozen teams are already guaranteed a spot in the NHL playoffs. The Falconers just joined them #GoPVDFalconers #PVDFalconers #GoFalcs!

156  @omgcheckplease:  = SMH Group Text = Rans: YEAAAAAAAAAAAH Chowder: Jack!!! Dex: CONGRATS, man! Holster: JACK!!! Shitty: WE'RE GETTING DRUNK IN PROVIDENCE

157  @omgcheckplease:  = SMH Group Text = Lardo: you did it you did it you did it you did it you did it you did it you did it you did it you did it you did it you

158  @omgcheckplease:  He'll smile when he can finally check his phone. :)

159  @omgcheckplease:  The little blurb in The Daily on the Falcs!

160  @omgcheckplease:  Dear S.O., Wow! It seems as though one of my favorite vocalists/performers has released a clothing line--and my birthday is upcoming!

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

What if.... What if there really is true love...?

It's my turn. (Don't steal my work. My writings or my thoughts. They are mine I own them although I choose to share them. This may be a work of fiction or a work of non-fiction. That's not for you to decide. It is what it is. And only that) I have a voice and a right to be heard. I found Matt at the pool nearly dead. I then went to sleep and my soul stayed with him at the hospital while he was treated. Then. I went to the hospital to see him. Then he went into witness protection  Then I found him again  If we're going to be able to link my words to truth then... He's proof. That I know what I'm talking about. If we can substance that I know about what happened to him before I met him and we didn't make it up Then why can't two victims be with each other? You want to argue your point. But I have been searching for him for years. There's a story. If you tell it correctly it works I remember standing on the chair but it was Nathaniel's chair Im sure Raul was there... I was looking at Elijah on the ground by the pool and I stood on the rung of the chair to see better. The sun was glaring and I thought I was wrong...  Raul told us to wash up and I saw my brother running behind me to go to the bathroom to do so  Raul went and touched my side, under my armpit, where a bra goes. He said "go wash---no no no not again!" "He's alive!!! We need help!!" I said turning my head to Raul  "Go! Go!" He told me and he ran to the phone. I can still feel my feet burning as I ran outside across the concrete near the location where the bunny was dumped after it had been brutally raped and tortured  I remembered the bunny with a rope burn around his neck. I stopped midsecond although it felt like forever until I could see Elijah's soul move towards me... In his body..  but it was like his body moved towards me, turning on his side but when I looked down, because I was staring at the grass, the same way I had stood not looking at the bunny wishing that the bunny would run into the nice cool plush grass and play, hoping that the only trouble was trying to catch him. I looked down and I knew Elijah was also done. I felt my chest, my heart hit me right in the middle with a double beat and instantly felt nauseous  I went down to my knees. I felt like I just dropped. Like fell but I felt fine and found myself cross legged next to him. Raul was at the back door he was about to come towards me but yelled inside to keep the kids in. My brothers and my sister friend Jules. I was scared and so cold. I wanted to cry and sleep. I wanted to lay with Elijah as I did with the other dead bodies Jesse had killed. But I soon saw a shadow above us. I closed my left eye tight hoping it wasn't Jesse  "What are we doing?" Asked Raul I sat up "oh I was just going to lay down for ---" a minute I was going to say although we all knew I would done it forever until Jesse rolled me into the pool to drown me. "He's not wet. He wasn't in the pool" "Yeah I know but is he dead?" "He looks like it but he's---"  "No! I hear a groan, he's speaking! He's still alive! Get inside!!"  " No! I want to help! Don't make me" "Don't make me she says like I know what she's talking about. You want to help? Take your shirt off! No! Wait! Where is the blood coming from?!?! Help me lift him up! As if I need help!" He lifted up Elijah's two year old body "look! No don't look! What am I doing? Sabrina! Get in the hou----"  I had already looked and I looked into Raul's eyes, he was talking so fast and no way I could listened in chronological order, he had too many demands. He was looking around the yard to see who or what was around but when he went to direct me, he looked at me and saw I was watching him.  "Okay so you didn't look" he looked towards the "bunny grass"  I touched Raul's forearm, he had Elijah's limp body leaned against it. "He's not wearing a diaper"  "What? so?" "Do you want my shirt to stop the bleeding?" "God no Sabrina, that's the last thing I need." He had leaned back and pulled Elijah into his arms, into his lap, against his chest. Trying to cradle him. To pick him up "like married woman over the threshold"  "The police are already here" I saw them in Navy blue coming out the backdoor. I started to cry just as I am now... Except then it was relief and now it's from sadness. Old lady sadness. This was 32 years ago. Raul ran towards the police and ambulance attendants with Elijah in his arms. I was so surprised and relieved to see that Raul literally jumped to his feet with Elijah in his arms without any trouble. I felt okay, I could rest. I had a troublesome night with night terrors and had woke up sweaty more than once, I was exhausted. I saw Elijah's shirt was ripped up the back as Raul laid him on the stretcher.  Everyone was so calm. The concrete that once burned me provided relief to my body as I laid on it, my eyes half open to prevent the sun's glare from giving me another headache like the ones I had been given all night. The concrete felt so good. Warm not scalding although I could still feel the scalding on my feet. "Sabrina! Get up!" Raul yelled after exchanging worried glances after I had been pointed at by a man in uniform "what's wrong with her?" "Not a goddam thing" "I'm just asking" Raul's wife was disabled so he knew alot about nurse stuff. He had taken community college classes to learn how to take care of her daily and in an emergency. So. He was arguing with the EMTs!!!!!!!  But after seeing me laying, he ran towards me, although he just looked like he was walking like everything was normal, he was so fast. I would had to run. So I say he ran. He cradled me after I sat up. "You need to take care of Elijah" "No, I think I need to get out of their way.  Sabrina what the hell are you talking about?!?!?! Who is Elijah?!?!" He had his arm around my ribcage, under my armpit and he shook me as he slid under me to pick me up "married man style"  "God. I. Nothing." I figured that now was not the time that I saw him in my dreams in the forest being tortured by Jesse. I didn't know how to explain and I felt other things were more important. "Where is he?" "They're taking him in, and to the hospital. Come on let's go in. We gotta eat!" As we went in the back, we saw through the darker house, Elijah being pushed out the front door, engulfed in sunlight. Raul put me down just inside the back door, the cold tile soothing my scorched feet. I sat in Jules' mom's chair as it was the closest. No way could I stand. Sitting up was less difficult in the cold air conditioner of the house. I sat until the chair was claimed and crawled across the top of the table to my own chair. Raul was carrying food to the table and I slid right under the bowl. I had timed it just perfect and slung myself ass first right into the chair, my legs flying behind me  "That was pretty good. But don't do it again" Raul's smile left me to believe that I could and he wouldn't get mad.... Although later I tried and he swatted me for it.... Having 4 kids didn't suit him so well under stress. Me and my brothers came to live with him after my mother did henieous things to us and other children. First it was just me. But then my dad told us that my brothers were being abused at their foster home. So got them removed AND got the ladies fired and banned from ever having foster children again. Raul was great as a one on one dad. But one on four and taking care of his disabled wife? He wasn't so fun.  It made me sad. But I knew that having my brothers there was something to be proud of. So I always straightened myself up and behaved, for his sake. If I was good, his life was easier and he was happier and things were better. I had to give him respect, because he deserved it. Sure he demanded it at times but that was usually when I was trying to make him laugh and I soon learned that he didn't laugh twice in a row at the same thing. He needed more adventure in life. Life was mundane, if he thought about it. Slaving for his family. But when he thought about it, he would smile. He would cry. Tears in the corners of his eyes. Happy. Proud. Scared. He grew up without a family. And here he was, working with my father to raise one. My father came every time he got off the ship, when they docked from scouting the river for danger and other things, often times I would find him sleeping with my older brother in the living room floor. He was the most messed up. And Jules' Gramma, our Gramma said that best way to cure us was with love.  So for Raul life was so much more than taking care of a bunch of kids. It was him healing from his own childhood, providing everything he ever wanted to have or give to kids that really didn't belong to him, but did, because my dad said so. My dad would go in his uniform and Raul loved it when my dad would give "orders" to him while my dad wore his uniform. He would always make sure he was told each and every thing while my dad was in uniform. We had to go behind Raul's back and inform my dad that Raul specifically listened to each directive when my dad wore the uniform and would forget things he was told "randomly" I saw my dad one day go on a Sunday and put on his uniform so he could tell Raul what to do to fix his garage up. My dad said he would say it was cause he already had grease on it and didn't want to ruin his clothes. But Raul being the wife he was said "I didn't wash it right?" So Raul was then informed of our behind the back manuvers. Oh he tried to look mad at us but was so happy that we actually paid attention to him and tried to make him happier and life easier for him. The first time he met my dad he practically got on the ground and kissed his military boots. My dad said I wasn't allowed to be seated so if Raul did it absentmindedly, he literally had to kiss my ass  The first time which was when I had double slid into the chair, he had me stand in it and I farted in his face. I totally didn't know what was gonna happen and I always had tummy issues and the event made the gas move.  Oh well. Everyone laughed, including me, eventually. But those were different days.. from now... Raul now murdered by the same person that hurt Elijah....  Raul tried to put up a cheery front avoiding what had happened minutes before we sat to the table to eat. But ever curious and adorable Jules asked what had happened to the little boy. Raul began to cry as he tried to explain. The words came out, so anguished he was. He had began to speak... "The boy---" but was cut off by soft tears seeping into his eyes. My eyes did the same but I yellow cheesy eggs  began to breathe very rapidly as Raul choked out the words "raped" and "slices across his back" the worst words possible came from deep in his chest. He only looked down at the Yellow cheesy eggs on a white Circle plate, his bacon looked lonely, shoved far from the eggs, more space than food on his plate. It wasn't like he was talking..  more like coughing. He was emotionally out of control. Scars from his past breaking open at our breakfast table. His heart torn apart from what happened to a small two year old boy, knowing the deep torture that had happened to him. The torture that happened to us. The torture which would not stop no matter how we tried to fight the bad, our good was not strong enough. I knew the feeling. That out of control tears. Tears I couldn't let fall. In my mind while he choked on emotions so hard he looked like he needed the Heimlich maneuver, I stood in the sunshine outside where two lives were left to be lost so we could watch and feel responsible for some crime we would never commit. I stood there hoping it was a dream, my feet began to burn again with pain as I tried to fight the truth I began to pass out. I caught myself on my younger brother's high chair. Nearly dead I fought for survival. I sprung to, looking up in the quiet of the room, Jules' and our mom stopped asking Raul if he was okay over and over and stared in horror at me, her mouth dropped open. My older brother ate with his fork. And Jules looked on at me.  Raul looked over his plate, his chest heaving. His face so close to his plate, between him and it was only darkness. He looked like my father, had been given the honorary chair at the head of the table talking about the bruises left on the neck and shoulder of my younger brother.  "Yep, I guess he is. You look like my dad" I said as I stood on the rungs on the chair I sat in and grabbed a white often well used plastic serving bowl from the middle of the table "here you didn't get potatoes"  "I mixed them together"  "No you didn't" said Jules' and our mom. "Oh these are just eggs, here you need some more, you don't have enough food on your plate" I repeated the words Raul often told me as he put more food in my plate, causing my tiny starved belly to become bloated and sick. I handed him the bowl so that I wouldn't do the same to him as he could fill his plate properly.  He absentmindedly put food on his plate then "oh I remember, I put the potatoes in the oven while the little boy..... Oh jeez. I'll be... I'll be right back. Man I'm sorry"  He looked so defeated that maybe he would go hang himself in the garage "Where are you going?" Mama tried to down play her fear  "Oh nothing I just forgot the potatoes" he came back with the egg bowl with the eggs pushed to one side and the potatoes at a much higher half. "Sorry y'all" he mocked the Alabama lingo and tried to be silly as he put blackened poatatoes and onions on our plates. When he got to me I put my hand up asked him to get his first and I took the tiny spoonful left over.  "You know this shit ain't gonna grow me tits or anything, I can't eat alo----"  I looked up at the table because it was dead still "Sabrina shut up!!!!" said our slightly overweight Jules whom had recently became sensitive about her size.  I slumped and pouted in my chair "that's not what I meant. It was something Jesse said that was different than what you think I mean I said"  "Jerk" she went to eat with her fork but looked at Raul "can I eat or is this going to make me fat?"  "Jules" her mom said tiredly and as stern as she could muster which wsnt much at all. The way she said it reminded me of why they named her that....  "You might as well be jewelry"  "Sabrina shut up" "Now you're picking on her" Raul looked more angry than necessary. Which made me sit straight in my chair, ready to fly in front of Jules to protect her. I knew there was no reason to so I waited "Sabrina and I just found a dead boy in our yard and she's trying to make you happy. Least you could do is smile"  "I don't wanna!!!"  "Hey. It's okay!!! I woke her up last night because I had nightmares and she played dollhouse with me until she feel asleep in the carpet when it was my turn"  "Did you help her up again into the bed like I told you to?" He asked looking at his biscuit while he pulled it apart with his elbows in the table Making the biscuit eye level. "Yes I did even though you told me to do it when you wasn't in uniform"  ..... So then he went around, borrowing my dad's uniform. But he felt it was inappropriate to pretend to be in uniform.. to pretend to be a military man... Exactly.. so he wore my dad's button up shirt over his white wife beater, open. Then we would look at him telling us to do something and he would close the shirt and say "see? I'm wearing it" He told my dad about it when my dad came home and my dad laughed and laughed for ages. So Raul had him help him on his car and my dad came in my bedroom when it was Naptime and switched on the light, marched all mad to the closet bitching "he acts like I ain't a dam boat mechanic" all butt hurt in his heart. I got a little scared in my heart because my dad was upset and we were in the "safe place"  No reason to get upset. So my dad marched out, then swept back in and turned off the lights then lightly closed the door. I laid there during the Naptime he just invaded, my heart bumping in fear and worry. Everyone listened at Naptime. We liked it. We were chaos. Total chaos. when it was just me and Julie we didn't need Naptime so much. And we would sneak into each other's rooms and play. Usually she would get me and I would follow her even if I wasn't sleepy.   But her dad found out after my brothers came because she got way bitchy if she didn't nap so I had to have her go in 3 times while I pretended to sleep before I could get up.  So I was pretending to sleep when my dad came in. I tried to relax and only think about his face as he closed the door. Calm and kind.  I finally relaxed enough to close my giant once terrified eyes when my door opened again and my dad came in laughing like crazy. I was practically crying because I didn't know what was going on and my dad was upset and it had to be at Raul or Julie's mom because I heard no yelling at the kids or anything. Raul didn't yell alot but he would be all "HEY!!" sometimes even during Naptime but Julie usually would bitch about it if he did... He would apologize but usually would end up doing it again until Julie eventually made his heart break on one very tired rainy day. I didn't want my dad to be upset at my foster parents. They were the nicest people in the world and my dad was really a good person, too, and it made me just sick to think they wouldn't get along. It, I believed, could get super bad for me and Julie. We already saw Raul take me from Denise. Then saw my brother's foster parents actually get away the privilege to have foster kids and my brothers taken from them and give to us. But if it wasn't for my dad, probably none of that would had happened. Because my dad wanted it to happen, probably even more than Raul. So I wondered "what's going to happen if they can't get along? Who would win?" Raul followed my dad around like a puppy. Raul had grown up in the system and had shitty homes he bounced from so my dad was the dad he always wanted. So my dad, although gone most the time, was the alpha male. And in the military and Raul mentioned more than once that my dad had more clout in the courts than even the judge himself. But it would break Julie's heart for it just to be her mom and dad and her again. She always talked about it. She loved it because it was quiet..  the only thing that was good would be that her Gramma would move back in. Except her Gramma literally lived only across the street. So Julie alwaaaays said that her Gramma moving back in wouldn't be good enough to make her happy if we all (mostly me) moved out.  So I was deflated. Empty. Not knowing what to think when my dad all jolly laughing hysterically yet quietly came in the room. I jumped up to my ass, my feet in the metal part of the bed where the mattress went, and asked "what the hell happened?!??"  "Who taught you to talk like that?" "You" I could tell my dad the truth and not get slapped around. He actually liked the truth even if it was not...  How do you say.... Making him look pretty? Just bare, raw. That's how my dad liked shit. So he rubbed his grizzly stubble on my face and was all "everything is okay kid, just perfect and happy" said something about Raul not listening to him on the car and gave the whole system of the car they were working on. Apparently it was just an oil change but it was a headache because Raul wanted to do some fancy shit to his ride. He was a Latin King after all. Although out of the gang, a Latin King is still a Latin King and he still likes his ride show worthy. And successful. Not greedy but proud. And fancy. Although his favorite outfit was form fitting plain solid colors boxers and a wife beater.  So then he told me to go back to sleep and he would tuck me in. I let him but argued that I hadn't been sleeping. And explained that I had to fake sleep so that Julie wouldn't try to skip nap in favor of the dollhouse and Barbies. Of course I usually had to be Skipper. One time I had been sitting up in the edge of my bed, my feet on the floor, my short 4 year old self leaning against the bed because I was too short to both sit on the bed and touch the floor, as Julie and I often talked about cause she was the same height. And I had to pretend to be asleep. She got all freaked out running to her parents screaming. And I just had to sit up and get out of the sheet and tell my dad about it. He laughed. Told me to get back in the bed and asked me when that had happened. "Last week" I answered after being tucked back in...  Seeing as I literally just threw myself back into the bed and tossed the sheet in myself after I had very calmly and lady like climbed in as if I was an exhausted kid just moments before, it was less than a milisecond. He laughed, went to pull my curtains closed but I stopped him and said I lied them open He asked me why and I said "to check" he didn't need anymore information than that. He knew what I meant  "Just make sure you close them at night."  "You know why?"  "Because people can see in"  "No, why I like to check"  He shook his eyes bright with happiness. "Well you know you're here. So who would I look for? Mom"  He looked angry, instantly  .I sat up and touched his knee with my palm, looked into his darkened eyes and said "but if she did, I would run screaming the other way. Some of the time, I just don't want nap" and snuggled back into bed. "Alright, come on" he grabbed me up by my left arm "come on, we got a bear hug and a piggy back ride!!"  He carried me into the living room where we saw Raul "oh you're up! Let me get Julie!"  "Nah it's okay, I just checked and that one is snoring"  So I sat all happily squashed between my two dads quietly as they talked cars. My dad out his arm in the back of the couch and I could tell Raul liked snuggling with my dad as much as I did  People talk about having gay parents..  I probably had the equalvilant. I'm okay with homosexuals, especially males, raising kids. Eventually my older brother, whom slept in the living room got up and sat with us. Raul tried to move us so that my dad was sitting between his two kids instead of Raul but my dad said no it was okay. But Raul explained it was probably better for him emotionally and so my dad said "oh why not" And Raul said "for real?" Raul's emotions we're so different when it came to my dad. With his disabled wife and us kids he was the boss, in charge. We fought him and argued him and gave him a difficult time all the time. But with my dad there was greater defeat, deeper surprise and horrible disappointment in himself when he thought himself wrong.  Then my dad told him that Raul was right about the cars but that he knew different. Raul said "yeah I knew that. But let's switch" very soon my older brother was asleep, my dad's let his pillow. My dad's large hand resting in his back .it was coldest in the living room. So I knew my dad's hand was warm. And heating probably most of the kids body. When they moved there was more space between them so I was less as warm. So I got brother's blanket although Raul said I shouldn't... Later my brother got super bitchy about it... He's so fucking rude... Even now, 32 years later, he's still a self entitled jerk whom can't share... Well..  with me anyways. It's an awkward moment for him when he does... I don't really understand why he appears to be so awkward.... I try to be generous with thankfulness but usually he surprises me and I'm caught off guard. I think he likes a mumbled more shamed thankful anyways. Like an "oh well shit" thank you as oppose to an "omg thank you so much!" thank you. I guess the former, "oh well shit, surprise!" In a calm humbled tone is one that Raul often used... I don't think my brother remembers him much.. but even so, Raul has been ingrained into our soul. He left an impression upon us which, I do believe has left us empty. And we are always trying to understand what we don't know. Having nothing to cling to but memories and a mother whom would do anything to destroy them so we don't know who she really is so that we can never tell a soul what a miserable person she really is. I've never been the sort of loving sister or person that Julie was. She gave love and gave love like it was going out of style and had to give it all away. She didn't have that hard shell. The exoskeleton a person has to build up, living with evil. I have a very quiet love. And unfortunately for my brothers it's not often heard. Talking shit about our mother, that bonds us. That's about all, though. Well. That is our concrete floor. Without that; it's awkward quicksand. My mother is blind to how much we hold her responsible to our life. All negativity and issues with relationships we have as adults, we look at her. Because she's always trying to insert herself into our lives. Trying to control them. So we try to step back from each other so that we have a definite line between us and her. We're not fake with each other. But we do reserve our exoskeleton around each other because she likes to blame us for things that happened in our lives and we don't know what the other believes of what she's said. So yes. She's destroyed. And yes shes appeared to have won. But we easily combine forces against her... Which is why she tries to always keep us apart. She absolutely hates all three of us together. Especially me. The most vulnerable. The one most easily battered and betrayed by her. One by one, I count the ones that know the truth and have been hurt by her because they allow the past to stay in the past and give her another chance. One by one.  *********** Elijah's name really isn't Elijah. We were allowed to see him at the hospital.  He said "I sick"  "I sick" kinda like Issac. But I liked the name Elijah better and since I found him, I got to name him. Eventually his father then his uncle came... We found out his name...  You may know him...   Born in 1982, he was just barely two years old when Jesse James kidnapped him and help him captive in the swamps by the house for three entire weeks then dumped his body to die by the pool. So we could feel responsibility and guilt. So he could say "I saw him laying out there the other day, thought y'all made him sit out there and dry by pool cause he did something bad." It was Christmas, nearly. Sure we swam sometimes. But Raul nor Julie's mom or my dad of all people would allow us to be outside and cold. We couldn't even let Gramma know we swam. She would blister us like crazy.  The adults anyway, they wouldn't been able to sit for weeks!!!!  But Jesse believed that someone would believe that Elijah was our kid and was punished so severely that he died. He wanted us to feel that guilt and shame. Wanted us to feel grief. But all the world is delighted, especially all the girls when they see that eye candy named Matt Hagan. Must I say... The FBI was telling me about this fight Jesse and Matt got into at work... Jesse... I was told like this "Jesse was just wearing sweat pants, all low on his hips, no shirt. With his sweat pants all low, his hips showing, you know how sexy he thinks that is" And I said "wait. Jesse? Like yesterday? Cause he's fat. Are you sure his pants weren't just stuck under his fat roll?"  **********"** We kept "I sick"  We were allowed to until his family was found. Three months. In that time, he went from "I sick" to "I Elijah" to "Me? I'm my baby"  Julie knew my dad and she had met my mom. she had a mom and dad. She knew her parents had parents. So she always asked "whose baby is he?" Julie's mom would say "my baby"  Well fuck I got pissed off. I found the kid. Climbed in his bed in the hospital. Checked on him every five minutes. Made him smile more than anyone. That mean old lady would be all "my baby" she stayed in bed because of her pain so she would be all "get him" when was into something... Usually standing two inches from the TV. He was a little one. He was. He was sneaky. So so so sneaky. He would peek out his corner of his eye to see who would get him. He would not move unless it was me. Julie would move him five times but keep doing it until she opened the door to get me. Then he would move and be still. He tied to find a way to be with me and outside that bedroom door. Because my little brother was there, only one the baby locks were on the door. So finally I taught little "my baby" how to open the door. My freedom was never more. He became my shadow. So I potty trained him. Raul helped. Little "my baby" was a perve!!! That's what Julie said. I didn't now anything. Only adults raped little kids that's what I thought. I was educated that kids don't have sex. At all. So in the middle of the night when "my baby" put my hand on his diapered dick, I thought he had to pee. Well times have changed..  I guess soon enough he will be in a dam diaper again... We're getting mighty old. So dam old.  I'm like Julie's mom now... I'm in constant pain. I can't walk or do anything, like she was. But my baby. He ran the house. He told Raul what was up. One time we messed with the blinds. My dad aid to keep them closed at night. I didn't want my baby to know pain and suffering. Not pain he already felt. The white bandages that covered his whole back for three weeks. And the band-aids that covered his back for a month after. I didn't want him to know there was more than one person that would do that to him. So we kept them closed. Before my baby came, I always opened the blinds for the sunlight but after, we used the lights. The room was actually more brighter.  So one day, my baby was curious and pulled the string. It pulled them up all crooked. We tried to fix them but couldn't. So we told Raul. But he told me, being the ever wore to my father and that we had to wait because my dad was coming home and he had to get the house ready.  Which meant washing the beds and clothes and everything. Going to get groceries. Looking at the sale ads so he could feed my father the best but the most economical. Shrimp. Fillets. Steak. Salmon. It took him a week. And he was on edge running around like a meth addict. Julie's mom asked him one time if my dad was gonna get sex, too.... Well for obvious reasons. She didn't get any and was confused because usually she did but he was paying all his attention to my dad. Raul was flustered to death.  So Matt went following Raul around bugging until Raul went to cook. Boy loves his food still to this day (man those adult diapers. Good thing he's rich in cash because ew) so he was all "okay I'm going to go play now but you fix--" "When I get the chance" "When you get the chance. I want it done, like right. If I could do it myself I would" "KID!!! Sabrina! Get that kid outta here! I'm gonna cook and I do want him to get burnt, he's up my shorts already!!! Dang!!!" the he looked at the stove "fuck what the hell am I doing in here?!?" "Not sex. And YOU know we need those blinds fixed!!"  "SABRINA! DANG!!" "Okay I'm going! Come on baby Elijah" "I'm not Elijah, uh uh. I'm baby. I'm baby Matt. I know this. And my back" he spun around with his hands on his life handles, if he was a dog or cat he would been chasing his tail, but he was trying to look at his back so he could point good "my dad didn't do this. Nuh uh. That man in the woods, he done this. My name Matt." "Matt? What kind of name is that? You're baby Elijah, come on SHE said" told Julie. "I'm Math-ewyou. And in gonna bust her up" he stomped on my toe "know my name!!"  "What the hell?!?! You can't do that!!" told Julie  We were in the opening between the dining room and living room. In the dance floor space. Raul kind of liked us there but not past the bar height counter because that was the kitchen and he didn't kids under foot cause he went high paced fast and didn't pay attention to anything but his cooking, because, he says. That's what makes a good cook. Food first. He was very proud of his culinary skills  "I eat, I kick you" little my baby with the big attitude tried to kick her but I grabbed him under his arms and swung him back so he would not. She fell all dramatic anyways like the girls being beat by their men on TV. "Julie, get up and go!" "What?" She liked up under her long blonde wavy silly hair "Go on, baby got a bad attitude!". He's said "I'm Matt" like 16 times already. He was out of control. Sometimes he hit us when we played Barbies because we tried to treat him like a baby and put him down for naps All day. We would give him a Barbie to play with on the bed. But he "want to be with us girls" he thought "playing barbies" was "just us being us girls" cause that is what Julie would tell him .  He didn't realize he was a boy and he was being exiled.  But this was crazy. He had mad face and was all pointing at himself... Which was putting a fist in his chest, mostly and saying "I'm Matt" "I'm Matty" "I'm math-yoooou" "Im not Elijah and I'm going to get you!" So Julie, being the Julie whom never learned that you should put blankets under the bed in case you had to hide for safety and you might get cold, jumped up, shaking her long blonde hair behind her and ran up and down the hall with her arms held high in the air, fist pumping "I'm alive! I'm alive!" As much as my baby was saying he was Matt. So I stepped into the boundaries of the kitchen while my baby was distracted by Julie. "Back" because when I say boundaries I mean straight up next to Raul, pressed against his side "He's doing it again" "What's that? Back" "Saying 'im Matt' well that he's Matt, that Matt kid" "He's still the same kid. What's the story behind all this?" I followed him at his heels "well not really. He had a life before us. You even say so yourself. He had a family. A family that might hurt him and us" "What's the story?" "He's had a Matt life" "Up"  "that no one knows about, not even us" "Up. Lift your arms up" "What the hell for?!" I had my back to the stove 5 feet away, facing Raul and shoved my hands into my armpits. He patted the counter "so I can put you up here"  "Oh I can do that" I opened the drawers underneath and climbed the faster than he could think "I don't want you following me around. I told you guys not to do that!!! Shut!!!" I thought my legs were super long and tri d my best to reach with my giant toe without falling off to shut the very bottom drawer which I had pulled out the farthest to build a staircase. He challenged me to shut them all or he could get hurt and fall on the ones left open, especially the bottom one, which had already happened. I slid off the counter "I'm sorry, I can't" but still shoved my hands into my armpits because I wanted to build the stairway.  he picked me up anyways by pressing my arms to my sides and picking me up by my shoulders... He asked my dad later if it was safe to do so. My dad said as long as it didn't hurt. It didn't. A little cause my fists but we did it with hands flat or arks to the sides. It was easier for Raul. And we liked it because it was different.  I did my daughter the same when she got too heavy for me.  "The story. Which is it? The stairway or the boy? Cause I ain't listening to the stairway. I ain't I ain't. What's the matter with you anyway?" I listened the most out of all the kids I was most respectful and polite after Julie, anyways. And she was super good. "He hit Julie! He really wants us to know he's this Matt kid!!" "Same kid. And he did not hit Julie. Don't lie. I saw the whole thing"  "Then what the hell did he do then?!?!" "He -- will you quit talking like that? I'm raising a hellion! Your dad is gonna think, what's he gonna say?!?! I don't talk like that!" "Yes you do!" "Oh I say dang" "And you say fuck and I've heard you say shit before" I counted on my fingers "and cum sucker, I think that's a bad one" Raul was getting red and shy "well me and my dad, we already talked" "When? What about what?!" "Last week!" "With you everything was last week--hey!! Cut that shit out!! Excuse me!" We went to rush off "don't move! Boy! Get him!" That's me. Taking care of my baby. Always me. Been taking care of kids since 1983. Raising them all and raising them all right. If people would just quit messing them up, I'd be alright. "We'll get me down!" Before he could that baby stormed the kitchen "I'm Matt!!" "Oh boy, you got something to say!" Raul picked him up and put him to my right side further from the stove and thank God, too. Because that boy was pissed off!!!!  "I'm Matt. I'm Matt. She asked me last night. I waited all day to tell you. I'm Matt and I'm Matt hey again and I'm here to tell you"  Raul was yelling for Julie because she got hurt her daddy didn't pick her up first. And he was yelling hard. "JULIE!!" Forcing the air from his chest. Matt got real subdue. Put his head down to his chest.  I put my arm around his shoulders because his shoulders had healed first so when we slept I put my arm around his shoulders just under his neck so his neck didn't get stiff. And like Raul learned he was easier to control by grabbing the shoulders as oppose to arms cause he would dead weight, fall down and run off. "Hey, know me. It's okay. It's okay. No one is gonna hurt you"  "I'll go get Julie" the brave but freightened child whom had missed his second birthday with family and friends because he was tired to a tree out in the swamp woods said as he spun and tried to slide down the counter like he does on the beds. About halfway down his eyes got big with surprise. He could not find the floor!! But the floor found him!! Boy fell flat on his back, his eyes rolled back in his he's and his eye lids flittered.  "I'm dead. I'm dead! I'm dead for sure! This is it, I'm gone now" he repeated the words Jesse taught him, Jesse believing that those words would take the boys, kill him straight to death.  I was absolutely amused. I couldn't hear him, he was muttering but Raul bent down to "hear his last words"  (oh this is a knee slapper y'all)  Eventually I got his embarrassed little self up "and Raul!!!" Boy got up yelling "you get in there and fix those blinds!!" At that moment I saw who he learned to yell from. I saw his father. His no non sense father whom shamed his son for anything he did wrong. Julie was peeking around the corner just as Raul fake bumped his head on the counter side. Then fell backwards "I can't!! I'm dead!! I'm dead!! I can't get up!!" Julie knelt besides him "I got this. You got and get the doctors kit" she told.me and looked down to her daddy as she pressed on his chest "now daddy, I want you alive now. Now come on" "Excuse" I stepped over Rauls legs leaving my baby behind as I exited the kitchen to the Julie's room "Now don't tell Mama, we don't want mama to worry. I got you now. You'll be alright" she bent to listen to his heart. "I will need the stethoscope" she looked into my baby's eyes "I'll get! I'll get!" Matt started to run off but stopped and held out his hand "I'll get this and I'm gonna get a momma. And you feed this blinds!!" He bent over Raul's 'limp and lifeless body' "You Hear? You Get them Blinds Fixed!!" Matt fretted. It was obvious that his father treated him the same way when he did something wrong. Like made a mess. And Matt had messed the blinds. So he fretted in shame and worry. He was scared. But he didn't show it  He went in the bedroom. I was in my room, having just skirted in from Julie's room, not knowing where we played last. I was yelling down the hall "he's dead!! Everyone is dead!!"  "Except you!" Said Julie's mom "and me! What are we gonna do about in here!! I need help" "I'm coming! I'm coming!!" Said my 4 year old self. Ready to take on and save the world... Not at the same time like I do now... Because I didn't believe that was possible. And I'm just barely learning it, 32 years later. "Hey you look at you alive now" I bent my knees to hug my shadow, because his back was so tore up I still don't hug him normal, just squeezed his arms to his shoulders. He took a huge breath like Raul was about to put him under water. I stood up quizical cause that was weird. We were In The bedroom. I was all wtf you He said "bend down to me" and pointed towards his ear and wiggled his hand a bit m. So I did. Like he was gone tell me secret. The he took a big ole breathe again so I stood up.  "You okay? You getting asthma?"  Hell no. This boy took a big ole breathe and he made his lips like a kiss with his puffed out cheeks and jumped up and kissed me!!!! I fell straight to the floor!!!  Matt started jumping around like he made a touchdown on the football field. Raul came to the door soon "come on I'm dead in the kitchen, I gotta go get momma so she can see" Matt's eyes got huge "stay here!!" He put his hand out to me like a stop sign. I started to follow but Raul said if we wanted "the babies" to listen to us (me and Julie), we had to listen to them. So I sat down, cross-legged in the floor. Curious and tried to wait patiently, I was training my tummy not to get curious. It was only supposed to eat food, not thought. It had to slow down and be calm. So I was meditating, getting calm like when I would fall asleep trying to stay up so Denise could not barge in to get me while I was asleep. I had my head in my chest.  "Well what'd you do?" Matt looked down at me. For once I was shorter than him. I jumped up and said "nothing I was waiting" His eyes lit up. "Sit down again!" "I was just waiting this time. My tummy"  "Now lay" he had me by MY shoulders and was gently laying me back onto the floor the way Julie and I do him when we wanted to play girl stuff. My legs lifted so I could get my balance so I could jump up. But Raul said. To get him to listen, we had to listen but I also knew that we would time his real identity if we did... So I had tears seep out of my left eye. Raul came back to the door way and said "what you doing? Come on let's get up! I'm getting momma" "Didn't you just say that?!" I tried to get up to look after him. "No don't get up" he gently pushed me to the floor "shhhh. Now. She" he laid down next to me "now let's take a nap" before we would fall asleep we would talk. The night before he asked me who my mom was because I dditn call Julie's mom mom or by her name like I did Raul. I called her "Julie's mom" before the boys came I called her "your mom" "you" and "that other lady, the mom" that's why he messed the blinds. I had told him I used to look out the window for her. I didn't say she was bad but he knew. I told him what she drove. A twenty year old Mustang coupe. He had decided that he was gonna protect us and watch for her since we would not let him play. Okay so he eventually looked like a meth head tweaker.... 2 years old tweaking out the window.  So we laid there. He didn't like Raul coming in the bedroom so he got up, closed and he locked the door. No one had ever done that but Jesse James and when he did he raped me and ripped apart my insides just like he did to Matt's back.  I got sick. My tummy wanted to eat thoughts and alot of them!!! I started to hyperventilate. Matt just laid next to me on the carpet. He just barely laying on me. So I told myself to calm down. Jesse had never done that to me. "Now I love you"  "I'm gonna be sick" Jesse and my mom told me that same thing. I was gonna be sick for real. i sat up. My baby jumped up and looked into my eyes. "Hey. I'm Matt. Know you too. Now lay down" he gently guided my shoulders to the carpet which texture bothered my skin which was unusual. "No one is going to hurt you" he put his hand flat on his chest like I did "now I'm Matt. "Right now, I'm I can't. My skin" I wiggled on the carpet, Trying not to feel like I was going to die.  "I'll get you a blanket" he got up and got me a blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders and under my head. "You okay?" I had recognized that he was speaking to me and treating me like I did him. So my heart was very still and calm. I guess I felt the way that I made him feel.  "Yes. Oh my God yes. I am thank you" I wiggled into the blanket like I had seen Julie's mom do when Raul helped her. I tried smiling like she did. It felt good m "I think I'm safe. I am.arent I?" .my baby looked into my eyes sadly. "Now I'm Matt. And I'm going to go away one day" he stayed seated on his ass and he held my hand. "your eyes got big. You look scared. You're gonna cry. I get that. I know. I woke you up while you were sleeping last night" he pointed to the bed angrily, then to the ceiling "good not good" he pointed to himself with his fist. His other hand wasn't holding mine anymore. It was pinning my hand down to the floor. "Hey! What are you doing?! Hey! I can't get up!!" He was leaning over me. One hand by my waist the other by my shoulder. And he was leaning towards my face. He sat back "hey I'm being romantic!!" I rolled around, thankful for freedom "you can't be romantic to me!! I'm your sister!!" I saw Raul had unlocked the door and told me "I'm right here. I'll be outside this door. Okay? You need me. Just yelled help"  "Now Raul!!" Matt was obviously disturbed by the disruption. And was about to get up. I put my hand out, "no wait. Help!!! I need help!!!"  Matt jumped back from me as if he had been burned. The light from the hall spilled into the bedroom. I laid back down and felt the air around me.  "I'm okay. Thank you. I was just testing" I breathe led with relief. We talked about sex, ever since I had been there. Both Julie and I had been molested by Denise. So they had to set us straight about itm. And since then I had been raped while in their home and so had my baby, although that happened in the swamp. We were very open about everything m nothing was taboo m So Raul knew that we knew and Raul knew that maybe Ines just testing but maybe he should intervene. So he got down into the floor with us. "What are you trying to do?" Matt put his palm out "I'm, I love her and I'm trying to tell her I'll marry her"  "Okay then tell her" Raul didn't mind at all.  Not a bit. "I'm telling her. But you need. Get out get out Raul!!" He turned to me, barely two years old he is "I'm gonna marry you. I'm telling you. I will. Watch this"  Raul had listened. And he left the door open and put the door stop in. "Leave it" and Matt had agreed to leave the door open and added "but don't come in" "And be gentle. Like I saidm gentleman only" I had a feeling that they already talked about this. And to my father as well. Matt turned to me and put his ear on my heart. "And you're okay. Now watch" he gently took my chin and turned it to the doorway. Julie and I always played until  dinner. Raul would tell us the food was done and he would get her mom while we finished our story in our dollhouse. Then he would tell us that it was ready for us to eat. So I hadn't seen Raul help momma to the dining table in a long long time. I thought it was weird and kinda made me uncomfortable. But whatever. He used to take Julie to the table the same way and tried to take me but I really felt vulnerable and didn't like it. So iforgot about those early days But Matt was so gentle m my room was dark and the air was cool and the light was like a beacon. I watched skinny old Raul carry Julie's mom down the hall, through the opening. I started to get up. But Matt stuck out his hand and stopped me "Don't get up" "But I want to watch!! You told.me to! I'd rather be anywhere but here!" Some of a bitch if that boy didn't listen.n he tried to pick me up!!! Wtf!!!  "No no no, you little boy!!"  He puffed out his chest "but I'm a man!! I'm Matt hey again! And you'll see me again my love!" He went to take my hand. I started laughing!!!  Thankfully Raul came again... "Raul! I'm not finished! Dinner can wait!!" "I'm dead in the kitchen, I keep telling you, Julie has to fix me."  "No. Nu uh. You're in here! And get out!!" He put one hand near my knees then another near my neck "corm here my love"  You know how some kids watch much tv? This one watched too much Raul. One day... Maybe... I'll finish the story... But right now... Nhra is coming on in 11 minutes. I have to pee again and I got some egg rolls to make for breakfast or lunch or dinner whatever it is maybe supper... I guess really tho.. no one is interested in a 32 year old story... They are wondering about the one now... The one that is the future. Not the past. I heard how the past repeated itself. That's why we have to learn history. So we don't repeat the bad parts. Sometimes people change ... Scary becomes good... Independence becomes a burden when loneliness takes over... or when someone really loves you.... 

[so-caffeinated]

I know you've focused on the damage that *other* Ellie in the other world does to Jules, but does the idea that there is someone else or there that looks like her that her parents loved before her ever infect this Ellie's life? Does she feel any sense of obligation to fulfill her heroic destiny or be the Ellie that her parents sometimes miss? PS the FiCoN university is amazing and an incredible distraction from real world probs :)

SUCH good questions. In short... yes. Definitely. To all of it. Part of the reason I’d originally intended to wait on this one-shot was that I wanted to deal with what happens with Ellie around this time and post it next. It might have to wait a bit... the schedule is a living thing I rework constantly though, so maybe I’ll wind up touching on this soonish... It’s definitely an element in the first sequel - particularly the obligation to fulfill her destiny as a hero - so I also don’t want to drag that out too long in the oneshots. 

I’m inhaling coffee and barely awake so I feel like this response is gonna get more coherent as I write it... But the oneshot I’d originally been going to do this week, the one that got scrapped, was set a few months before this and included the following line:

Between David needing help with Bethany and both Jules and Ellie coping in completely opposite - yet equally unhealthy - ways after their kidnapping, Will’s had his hands full with his family.

There’s a whole different draft of today’s chapter (that was far inferior) that I scrapped too that included this bit...

“Yeah… okay,” Ellie replies, shaking her head, a humorless laugh slipping past her lips. “I have absolutely no clue what it’s like wondering if maybe my parents wanted me to be someone else.”

Confusion melds with the defensiveness on Jules’ face and she doesn’t seem to have any idea what Ellie’s saying or how to reply. Buster picks up on her mood shift and whines a little, leaning his great, beastly head against her thigh.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Jules demands. “They wanted you for like half a decade before you were even born.”

“No they didn’t,” Ellie argues, standing straighter and looking at Jules in total disbelief because how can she possibly not get this? How has she never figured this out. “They wanted an Ellie, but they didn’t want me. They wanted her, the Ellie from before… Have you seriously never realized that?” 

She hasn’t. The way she freezes and her eyes lose their confusion but gain a thoroughly guarded quality is absolute evidence of that. But she doesn’t say anything. For once, she’s waiting for Ellie to explain - she’s listening - and wow is that a change of pace.

“You think it’s hard to be you?” Ellie asks, shaking her head. “Try being the doppelganger for the child they lost. Do you think I never wondered if they wished I was her? If I was a disappointment compared to the other me that they lost?”

Just by virtue of being older and having more life experience earlier, Will and Jules have had the most story told about them so far, but neither Ellie nor Nate will be shortchanged. While I’m not telling things in chronological order, there are still some elements I really need to hit before I get to others. But... yeah, you’ve pretty well hit the nail on the head regarding what’s going to happen with Ellie. On the surface level, she deals much better than Jules with everything, but that doesn’t mean she’s unaffected. Far from it.