#yeah im kind of rambling a lot on this post sorry

[muscariii]

Is this anything? (also poll below)

Quick shitpost I had time for and also doodles based on a picture I'll add below.

Soooo. That poll I mentioned about the comic. I'm putting it in this post. I would appreciate all feedback from those of you that are interested in the Rasha comic and its future.

Basically like I mentioned in another post, I'm currently overworked at uni and making next parts for the comic will be difficult with the amount of things I have to prepare to pass the semester (meaning it will take me ages to get it done). That's why I want to know what you guys would prefer.

This is a random picture I found that I showed to my brother and he said I should remake it with Rasha.

[abnomi]

EVERY REASON (that i can think of) AS TO WHY TURBO/KING CANDY IS NEURODIVERGENT 💥💥

i would like to make a disclaimer first and foremost about the obvious, being that Turbo/King Candy is heavily implied to have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). Very often, characters with these disorders are portrayed as villains, and Turbo is no exception to this. There's nothing wrong with antagonistic characters having said disorders, per se, but when the only representation available for people with these conditions are found in characters you're not supposed to root for, it can be really disheartening. i won't be erasing these parts of him because i feel it would be in poor taste to gloss over those core elements of who he is, but plz keep in mind that having any kind of personality disorder doesn't make anyone inherently evil!!!🌞 your ACTIONS make you, not your brain

Also if anyone has any suggestions or other ideas for his neurodiversity, i would love to hear them! please do share!! I LOVE PSYCHOANALYZING CHARACTERS AND HEARING OTHER PEOPLE PSYCHOANALYZE THEM !!!! YAY🎉 if u agree or disagree with any of my points I'd love to discuss them further :-]

without further ado... click read more to find out…😈 be ready for a lot of reaches

💥 ADHD 💥

STIMMING

Turbo's constantly moving around in some way; he's a very expressive character! even as King Candy, he can't seem to conceal his frequent giggling. it's a big habit of his; he seems to do it involuntarily to regulate himself, including when he's nervous or uncomfortable.

he seems to display other repetitive behaviors as well, like doing his iconic thumbs-up pose, sticking out his tongue, or hopping around gleefully. he is but a jovial court jester..

i personally like to think that his phrases, "Turbo-tastic!" and "Have some candy!" are vocal stims of his, although i equally really love the interpretation that these (and the aforementioned stims) are tics :-]

another headcanon; i think it would make a lot of sense for him to have an oral fixation of some sort (ignoring the whole sigmund freud part of the term ermm...); just lots of biting, chewing, needing to have something in his mouth. It would align with the whole idea that he smokes, too

HYPERACTIVITY

we can clearly see throughout the film that Turbo has a lot of energy, made abundantly clear by his mannerisms and general behavior. he's constantly moving, using exaggerated expressions and gestures to communicate + express himself. He's one of the most animated and bouncy characters in the movie, next to Vanellope! it's silly how a character not very grounded in reality is such a threat, but i suppose that's what makes him so threatening in the first place...

another factor in this is how he is very adrenaline-seeking, craving activities that give him a rush (sugar rush...😂😂). more on that in a bit!!

HYPERFIXATION

Turbo's fixation with winning is all-consuming for him; it's an obsession. he doesn't appear to care about much else, if anything besides it. this could be interpreted as a hyperfixation for him (or special interest if ur all about that autism lifestyle), as it overtakes all of his focus and impedes every process of his mind.

it's clear that racing is much more than a passion for him, and while that fact is due to how he was programmed, it's a major character trait of his regardless that could be correlated to neurodivergence.

HYPERFOCUS

There seems to be a big theme of "all or nothing" when it comes to Turbo. he will either be fully dedicated to something or brush it aside without a second thought. it can't be denied that he fully wraps himself up in what he wants, whether it's a conflict he can't let go of or a new pursuit he's hungrily chasing after. 

ultimately, his dedication varies depending on if it is relevant to him and his interests or not, but this aspect of him still shares patterns with neurodivergent thought processes.

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

Seeing as he has a tendency to cheat in his use of code to spawn in whatever his heart desires, it can be assumed that this could do with Turbo wanting instant gratification to fill that bitter, empty void inside of him. while this could simply be brushed aside as greed and his belief that he is obligated to have access to whatever he wants, this trait is consistent with his generally dopamine-seeking behavior and wanting to be instantly rewarded by his actions. His obsession with needing to feel good directly relates to his need for another buzz, constantly after the next rush. (a sugar rush if you will☺☺☺)

ADRENALINE-SEEKING

Closely related to the previous speculation, Turbo always seems to be chasing his next high. he loves the thrill of action and being surrounded by crowds of people below him. it's why his big thing is racing! people cheer him on, he can do whatever he wants, he can go really fast and look cool..

it's possible that a big aspect of why he does this is to distract himself from any kind of pain, because pain = vulnerability. bro does NOT know how to independently cope with his own problems.. HE MAD AS HELLLLL!!! 😂😂

STRUGGLE WITH SELF CARE

(i know this is reaching but bear with me... 🐻) going off of his appearance and tendency to make poor decisions, it can be gathered that this man lacks skill in the self care department. his yellowing teeth and sunken eyes not only serve to complement his design, but also give way to the idea that he neglects himself in favor for whatever weird scheme he's up to.

of course, Turbo does prioritize himself above everyone else, but he doesn't strike me as the type to care much about how others think he smells. him being a bother to anyone isn't a concern of his. he cares about whatever gets him the most praise and attention from as many people as possible, which is winning and racing. Who cares about how clean he is when he's up on a podium holding a shiny, golden trophy, anyway?

It's likely that he had to step his game up when he went under disguise as king candy, which is why he looks well-groomed in comparison to his more corpse-like appearance. Ugly hoe. it can also be assumed that he's had more time to focus on himself because everyone loves him without question... Well, except for Vanellope, but who cares about her, right?

also, i know he makes a condescending comment to Ralph about how bad his breath smells, but it's made abundantly clear that Turbo is a massive hypocrite. his comment doesn't erase the possibility that he has suffered from such "halitosis" as well.

💥 ANXIETY 💥

GENERAL ANXIOUS BEHAVIOR

i know, i know, this could technically be chalked up to be "Turbo is nervously giggling and shit because he's scared of getting caught," but guys. g

even in the flashback scene, we can see how easily stressed he can become in an alarmingly short period of time. he is extremely insecure, therefore i am led to believe he is not only emotionally dysregulated, but also by extension, anxiety ridden.

yes, this is purely speculative, but who's to say that he wasn't like this before? being high-strung and intense are significant facets of his personality consistently portrayed throughout the film. as long as he is getting exactly what he wants, he is happy; the moment he loses even a blip of control, however, he immediately grows extremely tense.

if Turbo wasn't anxious about his disguise as King Candy before, he was anxious about how much attention he was receiving on a given day. if not that, then he'd be anxious over how he presents himself. He hates how he can't control how other people perceive him, which is why he is constantly trying to act like he's better than he is.

its why he justifies his behavior to himself, proudly making others refer to him as the "rightful ruler" of sugar rush and relishing in the attention of his countless underlings. Any secure and stable person would NOT ACT LIKE THIS!!!!😭😭😭

FIGHT OR FLIGHT

As we can see a handful of times on screen, Turbo's instinct to protect himself is very easily activated.

 his fear manifests in anger and aggression. we can see at multiple points how easy it is to upset him or fluster him; his anger is one side of the same coin, the opposite end being his fear and paranoia.

Going off of this point, have you noticed that Turbo is either satisfied or furious without much of an in-between? how the second something isn't under his manipulation, he lashes out and fights back? I'm led to believe that this is how he responds to fear (AAUAAYAUUUUGGHHH 🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡). This guy is so against the idea of being vulnerable, that even when afraid, he will utilize violence to regain his dominance over the situation at hand.

CONTROL + PARANOIA

Turbo's always trying to writhe or fight his way out of uncomfortable situations, unable to exist outside of his comfort zone for seconds at a time.

his defensive, paranoid, and controlling behavior are all reflections of how deeply insecure this man is. He feels such an intense need for everything to go exactly how he expects it to go that the moment he senses any kind of threat, he instantly jumps to defend himself and what he feels that he has "earned," regardless of whether there truly is a threat or not.

this could potentially be a coping mechanism for his anxiety and sense of stability; can't forget to mention how territorial he is!! he jumps to conclusions about what others' intentions are before they even get a chance to reply, as seen with his first encounter with Ralph in the movie. 

the racer is so internally discombobulated that he seeks any sense of stability on his environment, including on those around him. his sense of self is so warped that he copes with constant distraction; being under the spotlight, being actively racing, having to be showered with attention, having others make him feel good because he doesn't know how to do it for himself. he needs to feel like everything is under control, lest everything falls apart.

"...if there's ONE thing I can't abide, it's ANYTHING out of order!"

💥 NPD 💥

INFLATED SENSE OF SELF IMPORTANCE

Turbo's most in-your-face trait above all else. It's made more than crystal clear in every scene he's in that his arrogance is a determining factor in how he interacts with others. This is exactly what drives him to desperately crave admiration, to chase after others he's envious of because he thinks he is obligated to take what they have.

he seems to genuinely think he is entitled to get whatever he wants, just because he is inherently "special" or "better" than everyone else. Why else would he have made himself a king, a step above princess?

EXCESSIVE NEED FOR ADMIRATION

Turbo's self worth is COMPLETELY dependent on the opinions of children and teenagers. I think i don't need to say any more than that, but i will. (Evil).

As cartoonishly massive as his ego is, i think that it's fair to assume that Turbo has a very unstable sense of self, distorting his perception of his own worth down with it. his near-constant flaunting and need to be the best is a dead giveaway to his deeply-ridden self-doubt. The foundation of his stability is built around how "good" he is (at racing and winning), how powerful he is, whether or not he is being prioritized above everyone else, whether or not he is the absolute best, etc. etc.

The racer outright manipulates others to shower him with admiration and undeserved appreciation. He is incapable of forming a true sense of internal value, instead heavily and codependently relying on others to form it for him. if he isn't the best, he may as well just be nothing.

INTENSE JEALOUSY

He reacts so severely to what he perceives as others taking away what is rightfully his that it only goes to solidify my previous points even further. the second someone else is getting more attention than him, Turbo will bend over backwards to rip back the praise he believes he so rightly deserves.

being extremely competitive, he will one-up against anyone he thinks of as a threat, dedicating himself to taking them down to the best of his ability, and making sure they STAY down to top it all off.

INABILITY TO HANDLE CRITICISM

if we really dissect the entire one-off joke with Turbo insisting that his stolen pink castle is actually "salmon," along with all of his other domineering behaviors, we can garner that he is very persistent in how he wants others to view him. i wholeheartedly believe that this would translate into him not only being defensive over his supposed "ownership" of Sugar Rush, but also over himself and his own insecurities.

He needs to feel good about himself or else he will die and quite literally try to kill everyone.

LACK OF EMPATHY

He appears to have a fondness for making jokes in very poor taste. Turbo has a big sense of humor, but it's always at the expense of others. Be it a pun about a "fungeon," or jumping to protect himself with a joke about "hitting a guy with glasses," he has a tendency to take serious situations very lightly. It's not that he's unaware of the weight of it; he simply doesn't take it Seriously.

its admittedly impressive how he was able to feign empathy so well for Ralph; it goes to show how he is very capable of understanding that what he's doing is wrong, but ultimately does nothing to change his behavior because it doesn't impact him personally. 

i would like to honor this part of him, because even in the possible alternate path of a redemption arc, his struggle with empathy can be explored in a variety of interesting ways :-] he can understand complicated emotions and situations on an analytical level, but he doesn't feel for them unless it has to do with him specifically. (this obviously doesn't make him inherently evil, his ACTIONS make him evil)

💥 ASPD 💥

LACK OF REMORSE/GUILT

One of Turbo's core characteristics is just how far he is willing to go for his own self-interest with lack of regard for how it impacts everyone else. he has absolutely no concern for how anyone else feels besides himself, willing to go so far as to attempt to mutilate a 9-year-old to achieve his petty goals.

Turbo is shameless when it comes to how he goes about getting his way. While I'd like to believe he isn't fully incapable of feeling regret, he doesn't showcase feeling it in the movie itself. The most regret he'll feel is when he slips up and exposes himself. anything else is the fault of everyone else; he is untouchable in his eyes.

DECEITFUL TENDENCIES + LYING

Where do i even start with this one.

well, first of all, let's acknowledge the... erm, horse? in the room? 🐎😅(Please someone help me there is a horse in my room help helphel) being that Turbo went under disguise as King Candy for at least a decade. Even before this, there's a good chance that he's already had plenty of experience with lies and manipulation. i'd be willing to bet on this!!

one of his specialties is being proficient in manipulation, be it the code of games or the minds of people. theyre basically the same thing to him, anyway... I'm sure you all know the scene where he uses 16 manipulation tactics against Ralph and wins. this was Obviously not the first time he'd done this.

REPETITION OF HARMFUL BEHAVIORS

Time and time again, Turbo can't seem to help himself when it comes to poor decision-making. he never internalizes that his bad choices aren't JUST bad for others, but also for himself, continuing to escalate further and further into very dangerous behaviors until he literally dies.

Here's a list of bad decisions he has made! (at least, that we know of)

Pinning himself above his peers

Harassment + stalking

Carelessly charging through GCS with his car, endangering countless civilians

Attempting to take over a game that isn't his x2

Vehicular manslaughter

Implied mass murder + attempted murder, attempted mutilation

Mass endangerment

Breaking and entering, theft, usurpation, plagiarism

and more!!!!!!!

AND HE LEARNS FROM ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THIS!!! with some of the items listed here, he's attempted to do multiple times! Absolute buffoon.

RECKLESS DISREGARD FOR SAFETY OF SELF AND OTHERS

Considering how he was willing to charge into a game that wasn't his own with the awareness that it could permanently kill him, going as far as to recklessly crash into another car (albeit it's possible this was unintentional), it's easy to gather that he doesn't seem to consider anyone's safety at all in the spur of the moment.

IMPULSITIVITY

his impulsivity and disregard for safety both go hand-in-hand. When it gets to a certain point, Turbo's emotions will boil over and blow up in a cold rage, thus causing him to spiral and act on impulse, becoming a detrimental force to himself as well as everyone around him.

What's interesting is how much restraint he is capable of; he typically is very strategic in how he orchestrates his plans! but once he reaches his breaking point, he snaps and leaves all of his hard work behind in favor of something that calls for his immediate attention.

💥 ETC. 💥

extra tidbits i didnt have enough energy to fully delve into :-]

BPD

Fear of abandonment

Blurry sense of identity

Feelings of emptiness

Self destructive tendencies

Emotional instability

Explosive anger

ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)

He seems so infatuated with his own autonomy that he gets to the point of being resistant and defiant

Resisting against the rules of the world that he directly caused as a result of his own actions, being that one shouldn't "go Turbo."

Enjoys upsetting/getting a rise out of others. this is more speculative as i am going off of the assumption that he thinks pissing people off is funny, based on his other behavioral patterns. (cruel sense of humor, wanting to feel above others via control & manipulation, enjoyment of inflicting pain onto others)

Forcefully defends himself and refuses any kind of criticism

Lashes out when he feels slighted

Excessive persistence despite all odds, whether it's beneficial to him or not

ok bye!! thank you if you managed to read this far ^^ peace and love take care of yourself! all in all turbo is so neurodivergent ok please Okay <3 get this thing his meds

[itsybitsybatsyspider]

When I think of all the times I said 'yes' for you And I walked into the wind 'cause I adored you Well, I wish for once to turn this game around Say, "I guess it's your turn to find me now." Will you meet me in Vienna? Oh, it won't wait forever

[volfoss]

Actually sorry I need to bitch and moan about this. I've been reading the san.dman (do not ever do this to yourself it's a hell unimaginable by anyone) and like... I really think it's interesting how much ga/iman is praised as super progressive on Tumblr for THIS specifically when it has so so much bad in it. About 10 issues in I started a game with how many women were in the issue who survived/were raped/nearly raped and it was insane how little women did not fit into these categories. One black woman lived and the rest were all burned alive. And he then later gave an excuse that it was bc of how Dream imprisoned Nada (16 year old African queen who fell in love with him. Its a very big mess and really sucks) in Hell so of course it influenced the entire world and so every black woman but ONE (who was introduced in the second to last issue) died and died violently. Not even to get into how it plays into the really violent misogyny that he had during the short story he wrote around the end of San.dman (when he was in his mid 30s) that was literally just one graphic rape scene to a minor after another (his snow white retelling is pretty infamous bc of how bad it is just by the summary but let me tell you that it is FAR worse to read). Like there's so so much that I think people do not discuss with his writing and it honestly just is very baffling that people hype him up given well. Everything that happens in San.dman. like the endless alone has a lot of... Well let's say interesting issues. Every single woman dream comes across wants to fuck him (to the point that at his funeral, it's 90% the women he was with/wanted to be with him and then a little from his siblings????), despairs entire character is literally just that she's depressed and coincidentally the most prominent fat character (and also naked all the time. Which they did seem to fix in the show but it's baffling how it's like her, one serial killer who nearly raped a woman before dream stops him, a guy that dies and I guess Abel if you squint for the fat rep) and then desire oh my god. I wish desire was written well instead of here's our nonbinary/gender fluid/genderless rep (cool in theory!!!) and then the fact that it (in the original series, she uses he she and it pronouns) raped a woman is dropped on your head and he is not at all regretful about it and ends up like.. taunting the victims granddaughter??? And delirium my god if there was ever a representation for born sexy yesterday and also being weird as fuck about mental illness it would be her. She's barely clothed most of the time, referred to as very very young most of the time and her mental illness (vague) is just kind of used as a joke a lot of the time? Like it's a funny joke that she doesn't remember stuff or that she's overstimulated or that she's using the wrong words or talking like a child. It's really weird because all of these characters have potential but they aren't really ever treated that way. Me when I get him for every single woman treated horribly!!!!!

[always-a-joyful-note]

There really is something special about stories where how ultra talented people decide that rather than shine above the rest, they would rather be a spotlight for those they love

[diddlesnap]

I think there were some serious growing pains when katniss and peeta were starting to "grow close" again.

[carbonateddelusion]

I'm NORMAL (thinking about the fruit dads/the poly boyfriends with Eddie bc I remembered the picture of Max screaming at Chuck)

[awnrii]

i don’t know if anyone will see this but hi it’s me daniel awnrii guy who might have founded nark(?) here to say please don’t tag my nicholas art with stuff like “he’s so sexy” or view my nark stuff as solely sexual 😭😭😭

feel free to post I’m not saying do not ever post about sex ever go ahead but don’t tag it under my posts specifically please!!

[moonlit-orchid]

Normal people: vent about their feelings in a diary or blog post

Me: makes a whole ass zine at nearly midnight

[ambrosiagoldfish]

i’m going a teensy bit feral reading your adam x third spouse story so i guess im just asking for part five and for it to hopefully have focus on dad beat dad and how lucifer would react to seeing the reader again after so long and like what would happen n stuff 🤭🤭 ofc if this is dumb ignore it i like what you’re doing with the story already !! the part im most excited for is the finale tbh but there’s a lot of time in between what you have rn and then so i’m just yapping abt stuff that could be cool in between. thsi is so jumbled omg sorry i just wanna see more of your writing it’s so good

idk how to end this uhh i love you bye 🫡

Benefit of the doubt PT.5

Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader

Warnings: GN! Reader, confronting the past, next to no Adam (I know, sad, but it’s for the plot), Reader focused chapter, this is set during ‘Dad Beat Dad’, swearing, the next 2 chapters will have a LOT more Adam DW ❤️❤️

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Request Box: OPEN

Word count: 4322

A/n: Hey everyone! Thank you so much for the support on all the other chapters. It’s been 8-ish months since the last update and for that I want to apologize. I’ll save it for its own dedicated post to not full int his page too much. But if you’ve saw one of my post from the other day, I have posted this on A03 and I’m giving myself 8 total parts. 7 will be the finale and 8 will be an epilogue styled thing (not even sure if I’m wanting to do it so when we get there, you guys can tell me if you want it!! ) so yeah, enough rambling, you’ve all been waiting so long for the next part so here you go!! <3

Reblogs are VERY appreciated!

(My posts have been flopping so much, I would love you forever if you did 😭)

Old memories have a habit of slithering their way back into a person's mind, and even sometimes, people

The first few months at fhe hotel were a lot more enjoyable than you originally expected. Most days went relatively the same, Charlie would choose an activity to do and you would observe the progress they made.

At first, progress hadn't shown much promise but as everyone grew closer, things began to look up. Angel had gone clean with his drug abuse and was distancing himself from his line of work. Sir Pentious started to actually trust the people around him and has done no major constructional damage to any buildings as of late.

Everything was going so smoothly that, when you had woken up one morning to the sounds of screaming, running, and just general chaos. You thought everything was finaly going into the ground.

You quickly run down to the lobby, thoughts of what could be happening run through you. Did one of Pentious experiments fail and explode? Were we being attacked by one of the many gangs in town? Did Alastor decide the hotel was actually boring and started destroying it, starting with the occupants? Whatever it was, you hurry faster to the lobby.

But what was meeting you there was… unexpected to say the least. Party streamers, banners, cookies. It looked like some kind of welcome party heaven would do, albeit with less flare and taste in decor. A banner that read ‘Wellcum Daddy’ was being hung up by Razzle and Dazzle, everyone was either cleaning or baking something, and Vaggie seemed to be ordering them around.

You look at the clock, huh, it’s way too early for any kind of Charlie’s trust exercises. Not to mention, she would have told you about the curriculum and there was absolutely not a 10 AM home-EC class listed on your schedule.

You quickly run up to Charlie who seemed to be preoccupied with helping Vaggie put something up “Charlie, what’s going on?” You tap on her shoulder, She jumps a bit before just realizing it’s you,

”Oh- Y/N, I’m so sorry, I completely forgot to get you!” She apologizes when Vaggie pops in,

“Don’t be, I told Nifty to go wake you up, but looks like she had better things to do” she points over at Niffty swifty stabbing bugs and removing cobwebs out of habit

“It’s fine, just… what’s everyone doing, what’s with all the party supplies and sweets?” You say, arms to the festive lobby around you.

“Oh well…” she took a deep breath “you know that The deadline is fast approaching and while we’ve made progress it’s not much” she paused, trying to even brace herself for what’s coming out of her mouth, “I have asked… my dad to come over and hopefully get us a meeting with heaven” she stops, completely caved in on herself.

“Wait, so… your dad is coming here?” you thought about the times she had asked you to get them a meeting with heaven but you had already explained to her that it would be next to impossible for someone like you. You had to practically beg just to monitor the hotel

Charlie Picked herself back up and looked at you with a shakey demeanor, “Yeah In about… 55 minutes”

You blink a few times before giving a small chuckle “Well, would you look at the date! I think it’s time I used my 1-per-month trip back home! If you’ll excuse me-“

“Wait! No-“ she trips over herself “We need you here, if dad can see, not only the progress we’ve made, but also that we already have an angel supporter, there’s no way he could say no!”

“Charlie, I don’t think it’s a good idea-”

“PleasePleasePlease! I will pay you back, promise! But I- we could really use you there!” Her eyes looked at you, similar to a puppy. She hands clasped together In plea.

You looked away in thought. Seeing him again was the last thing you wanted to do at this moment, any moment for that matter. The last time…well to be honest, the whole exchange hadn’t meant anything to you in quite a while. He could say whatever he wanted about you… it was the words he had to say about Adam that kept your heart ablaze in anger at the Morningstar.

Trash? He should really look in the mirror before saying that about your Adam. But… this could be a good opportunity for the hotel -as much as it pained you to admit- You can only sigh, “fine.. for the hotel…” You let out a small chuckle raising your arm in defeat.

Charlie jumped up and down with glee, repeating a matra of ‘Thank You’s’ before continuing “I get it might be difficult since you’re an Angel.” She tries to give some comfort. But that caught your attention.

“Because I’m an Angel?” You honestly didn’t mean to say it out loud but it came out as a question.

She looks at you confused “yeah, you know, considering I don’t think angels have too kind of thoughts to my dad for being… the devil” she laughs nervously

Oh. Oh. So that’s what she means. So she doesn’t know about your past with him? Not too much a surprise, I doubt Lucifer would bring up any of his failures. But that also made you realize one other thing. Charlie doesn’t know about your marriage with Adam.

Look, you didn’t mean to keep it a secret. In fact you had already assumed they knew. I mean you were sitting literally right next to him and Vaggie already knew who you were. You just thought she would have told Charlie, but knowing this now… it may be best to keep it a secret.

You let out a quick “I understand.” and with that, you all went your separate ways, you did contribute to the decor the best you could, as well as helping Sir Pentious and Nifty with the baking until finally, it was time for Charlie’s dad to arrive.

You walked over to a more remote place in the hotel lobby, look… you may have to interact with him today but you will not be doing it that soon. Instead, you decided your best choice of action was to sit and watch quietly until Charlie decided it was time for you two to meet. And in the meantime, you can mentally brace yourself.

Charlie sighs deeply “Okay everybody, it’s showtime!”

With that she swings the door open revealing the one, the only (thank Father) king of hell himself, Lucifer. Immediately Lucifer pulls his, obviously nervous daughter into his arms. He greets her with excitement before moving on to Keekee, and eventually Razzle and Dazzle.

He eyes the room, clearly covering up any distain for the hotels “character” to protect Charlie’s feelings. At least until he got to the bar which even he couldn’t lie his way through.

Even from the distant view you were from, you could see Alastor and Lucifer weren't going to be the best of buds anytime soon. As soon as they were introduced to one another they immediately got into it. Huh, at least now you have something in common with Alastor at least! If that’s even a good thing.

Their quarrel lasted a few minutes, everyone either waiting for it to be over, completely ignoring it, or enjoying it as entertainment. It lasted what felt like an eternity and was only interrupted when a short and plump woman by the name of ‘Mimzy’ came into the scene.

The old time-y dressed woman was one of Alastor’s friends, you honestly didn’t think he had those but you digress. Eventually once the commotion dies down, you see Charlie give you a nervous smile and wave for you, ‘that’s my cue’ you thought. Anxiety still felt taught in your heart but still you pushed through.

You walk out of your hiding spot, walking up to be next to Charlie. Still trying to keep your presence hidden for as long as you could, savoring those last few moments of peace before a wave of interactions.

Charlie clears her throat and puts on a more professional demeanor despite her nervousness, getting the attention from her dad, “And last but certainly not least, i’d like you to meet our Angelic sponsor-“

“Y/N!?-“ the fallen Angel suddenly started coughing, clearly having choked on his own words. He clears his throat “Sorry! I just wasn’t expecting… you to be here” he lets out a chuckle.

“You guys know each other!?” Charlie looked shocked, her voice pitching up in bewilderment.

“We’ve… met before,.” Your voice was low, But still you pushed through “Though, it’s hardly relevant to anything of importance now. Isn’t that right, Morningstar?”

Lucifer's face contorted into an uncomfortable shaky smile, fingertips digging into his Apple-shaped cane. Perhaps he felt some type of remorse for the way things happened back all those years ago, but even if that’s true, you had no plans to forgive him.

He clears his throat “Yes it’s- unimportant Sweetie.. “

You 3 stand in awkward silence for a moment, all you can do is glare daggers at the short ex-Angel in front of you. Eventually though, you couldn’t stand the scilence any longer, “Well Charlie, I have to get something done in my room and I’ll be back to help with the tour in a few minutes, if that’s ok?”

Charlie looked like she wanted to protest, for you to stay with her through the tour, but she knew you wouldn’t just leave and not come back. “Um, yeah that’s fine! Me and Alastor can get the tour started and you can meet us around the 4th floor?”

You gave a quick nod as agreement and make your way to your room. Sighing, you flop down on your bed, feeling the soft warmth as you sink into comfort. Pulling out your phone, you quickly typing a text to Adam but your thumb simply hovered over the send button, anxiety washing over you. Your message was simple,

‘I promise that everything’s ok, but he’s here’’

You were hesitating, should you even tell him that he's here? You didn’t want to worry him over something so insignificant. He has a show tonight, he wouldn’t be at his best if he was constantly thinking you would be in the same room as the devil.

Or even worse, he could just cancel the show completely and march down here and a cause a ruckus which at best would completely destroy the Hotel’s plans and at worse… No, you can’t think of that.

You look at the message again before just setting your phone on your nightstand. 10 minutes… that’s all you need before you go back out there…

…Lucifer was having… let’s just say a tinsy bit of a bad day. Not only has he been forced to interact with that insufferable yellow-toothed sinner but also, he has been reunited with someone he hadn’t seen in a millenia, you.

The anxiety of the day was only topped off with the added stress of being with his daughter. Don’t get him wrong, he LOVES his daughter and is always happy to see her, but the way she talks and acts with these sinners… Ugh, it reminds him too much of himself back in the day.

Her hotel too… He may have given her the place but he never gave it much thought beyond it being a pipe dream for her. He was just trying to do something for his daughter, especially with… Lilith being out of the picture. He just wanted to cheer her up, and unfortunately it seems ‘grandiose plans’ run in the family.

Even now as Charlie and that Red haired Buck show him around, Charlie explains excitedly about different things they have at the hotel. It reminds Lucifer about how she was when she was little, that glow of joy never seemed to fade away from her despite the conditions she lives in.

But even still, as much as he’s trying not to zone out and actually listen to his daughters rambles, his mind keeps trailing back to one, singular thought. You.

What were you doing here? He knows you were there to ‘support the hotel’ as Charlie puts it. But this is the absolute first he’s hearing about it. Why wouldn’t heaven tell him that another Angel was down here, let alone, you most of all. The last time he saw you was… not the best first meeting

Were you here in secret? You clearly weren't fallen, considering you still had your halo and you didn’t look like you’ve been damaged anywhere close to what you’d be if you had fallen. Not to mention… Adam, the exterminations were his idea so why would you even consider an alternative when you are his-

“Uh, Dad?” Charlie interrupted Lucifer’s thoughts, a look of worry on her face. ”You’ve got a little bit of… horn? Sticking out”

Lucifer looks up and sees that he’s subconsciously beginning to phase into his full demon form. He quickly takes his hand and pats the horns as if he was just dusting off his coat, causing the horns to seem to fade away like dust. Wow, today really seems to be getting to him.

“Ah sorry Sweetie, it’s nothing just… uh..” He thinks for a moment, he has to talk to you alone, just for a second. “*Ahem* I was just realizing I had to… use the bathroom, I seem to have had one too many drinks on the way here. Can you tell me where the… bathroom is?” He lets out a chuckle to hopefully cover his lie.

“Oh, it’s just down the hall and to the right, I can take you there-“

Lucifer quickly lets out a loud ”No!“ Before clearing his through again “I can get there on my own, just wait here and I’ll be back!”

Before Charlie can even answer, Lucifer rushes through the halls of the hotel, yelling a ‘I’ll be back soon’ to his Daughter before turning the corner. He lets out a deep breath as he lays out the plan in his head. Figure out why you’re here, and get back to Charlie as fast as inhumanly possible.

Picking his feet up again, he makes his way to the lobby of the hotel, he looks around for a moment before spotting the check in desk. ‘They usually keep visitor information there, right?’

He quickly scours the desk, looking for any forms or documents that have your room number, before finally setting his eyes on your room number. It didn’t take long to find you seeing as there were such few occupants in the hotel.

He memorized your room and repeated it to himself while walking to your door. Past the first, 2nd, then finally, halfway through the hallway on the 3rd floor he finds it. Before he can knock, a sudden wave of worry floods his senses. Seriously, Why would he hesitate now?!

He shuffled around nervously, starting to doubt this little mission of his. Should he really be doing this? Is he really worried about you being here or is the real reason he came here because he wanted to… apologize to you? It’s true that the guilt of what happened all those years ago was still there. But… Digging up old memories just because he’s selfish and wants to apologize to you? He takes a deep breath.

He had to make things better or… at least get some things off his chest. So, with a heavy fist and an even heavier heart, he gently knocks on the hard wooden door…

This had been the longest 10 minutes of your life, trying to decide wether to send Adam the message, or to even return to tour with Charlie at all. As much as it pains you to say, you still become anxiety ridden when he’s in the room or even the mere mention of him. That spark of defiance you had in the lobby earlier being nothing but a small bit of courage. But you remembered that you had promised Charlie you’d be there for her, and you certainly weren’t one to take back a promise.

Before you could decide what to do, you hear an ever so faint knock on your door. Curiosity peaked, You thought Charlie was supposed to be waiting for you on the 4th floor? Had you taken too long and the tour went south? You quickly made your way to the door and hoped you wouldn’t see a very angry Charlie on the other side.

As the wooden-door creaked open, your face slowly turned bitter at The short, impish man who stood on the other side. Lucifer Morningstar. To be honest, you much would have preferred the angry Charlie, TWO very angry Charlies over this.

The man shuffled awkwardly in place, gripping his cane. Neither of you could break the silence . He avoided any eye-contact with you and even you couldn’t hide The disgusted expression on your face when looking at him. Finally after what feels like 3x the eternity you’ve lived thus far, you spoke In shaky words, ”What do you want?”

Lucifer pushed out his words as well as he could, meek they were, but you understood what he said “Can we please…talk?”

Your fingers gripped at the door, nails embedding into the wood, leaving scratches. It took all you had not to slam the door right in his face, but even if you had, it wouldn’t have solved any pressing issues. If anything, it might make him against Charlie’s idea with the hotel, which you couldn’t afford. You take a deep breath before letting out a quick but unsavory,

“5 minutes”

The short demon shuffles his way into the room as you follow in behind him, locking the door to prevent someone like Nifty or Charlie from walking in. Lucifer stands timidly by your nightstand as you stand on the complete opposite side of the room, facing him. Lucifer runs his neck as he lets out a shaky sigh “I just want to know what you’re doing here…” he pauses, he looks like he has more to say but decided not to.

You can only laugh to yourself “I’m here because I believe I think Charlie’s idea has potential to be great. The exterminations, they have to end… that’s why I’m here”

Lucifer seem a bit… surprised? Surprised with your stance on the exterminations. you figured he needed more than that so you continue “I… I’ve never been one for the exterminations. I've been against them from the start. I just didn't know what else to do. Nothing else seemed…right.“

He stayed silent, processing what you told him. He really didn’t understand you, he had a completely warped view of you. “If that’s all you wanted to know I’d rather you take your leave-“

“No!” You step back at the sudden raise in voice but he quickly clears his throat “No, there’s another thing. I would… I’d like to apologize to you about how things went… when we first met.”

You stared at him, the silence once again feeling the air. You didn’t dare break it, you watched as the impish man looked around with anxiety, trying to find the right words. “It’s always been there, in the back of my mind. How we- I, treated you. It was unacceptable… Lilith kept telling me to let it go, that she was done thinking about it, but I just couldn’t.” He takes a deep breath “so, I’m so sorry for hurting you, Y/n…”

Lucifer Morningstar. The man in front of you looked more akin to a puddle than a person at this point. Sweat dripped from his face, a scrunched mouth filled with a sour taste. He wasn’t looking at you, focusing his attention to the ground. Finally, after many long seconds later. You step forward, grabbing his attention.

“As much as I appreciate the apology, I don’t forgive you.” Lucifer began to speak or at least say he understood but no matter what his reaction was going to be, you interrupted him ‘“-I don’t forgive you, because I’m not the one who deserves it”

To that, Lucifer's head was struck with confusion, “what do you mean?” He tried to make sense of your words, shifting eyes looking around in unease before landing on a framed photo of a candlelit man, an old and forgotten, yet familiar smile on his face… ”You mean… Adam?” Despite his best efforts around you, saying the first man’s name still dripped his words with venom. That same sour taste filling his mouth at the mere mention of him. ”What does-” he stops himself, he knows why.

You breathe in slowly, “What you said to me, all of those years ago, hasn’t meant anything to me in a long time. I’ve gotten through it 10x over and finally understand that I am more than those words” you take another step towards him, closing the gap, “so… there's no use for your apology to me. But Adam… you’ve hurt him more than you couldn’t possibly imagine“

The room was filled with dense air, like any sudden move could kill the king of hell or even you at any second but still you continue. “Adam deserved so much better than what he was forced to have from you, so if anyone deserves your apology, it’s him.” He goes to speak but you shut him down again “but we all know that you are too prideful to do so, and Adam… he’s too stubborn to hear it”

You don’t yell, scream, all of your words coming soft from your lips “So… what you’re going to do, if you truly mean what you say. You will go back to your daughter, forget this conversation ever happened, then you can march back to your big castle with your Loving wife, and leave us be, for the rest of eternity.”

With that, you step away from him, words that have been bubbling inside you for centuries finally having been let out. It felt like several hundred pounds had been lifted off of you. You begin to walk to the door to let him out, wanting the conversation to be over, When you hear him speak a faint ”Ex-Wife actually”

You pause, your teeth already biting your tongue. Honestly, if you really thought about it, it was poetic. The Angel who ruined two marriages, leaving Adam nothing but a broken heart and baggage, ended up with a failed marriage himself.

But even still, you still felt a slight pain of pity for him. Through clenched teeth you let out ”I'm… sorry to hear that. It must be hard.”

This kind of thing, no matter the person, is always tough. You knew the aftermath of it through Adam, even now he struggles with so many issues from it. In that regard, you felt pity for the ruler of hell, but the rest of you felt… glad? Glad that he finally understands just a thorn of the pain he inflicted on Adam.

“The 5 minutes are up so… go now… please.” Your voice shakes near the end, your will power for everything you’ve done starting to break. Lucifer looked equally as defeated, you could tell he wanted to say more but he just nodded his head before walking out the door. slowly, silently, you close the door back before sliding down it as your legs give out.

You wanted to cry, scream, do anything but sit there, but you couldn’t. Your voice hurts from talking, your feet hurt from standing, everything just… hurts.

DING DING DING

A luminous yellow light follows the sound, you lifted your head and saw your phone on your nightstand. Adam… You used all of your strength to make it to your bed, practically having to crawl to avoid any more tiredness in your aching body. You finally land on the soft mattress to pick up your phone, seeing the plethora of messages from Adam.

DIXKMASTER69

Yo Bitch, everything good??

You’ve been typing for like 10 minutes

Answer me

Hellllloooooo??????

Oh, that’s why he was texting. You had completely forgotten your half written message you were debating on sending earlier. You start to delete it and rewrite it when suddenly,

INCOMING CALL FROM DIXKMASTER69

You sigh at the screen, your phone vibration sends chills through your aching arms, it acts as a lifeline for you not to fall asleep on the soft plush beneath you. You press the answer button.

‘Fuck Babe, finally! Are you ok?!” Adam’s voice sounded angry but you know he was just worried “you’ve been texting for like 15 minutes”

“Yeah, don’t worry Adam, I... must have fallen asleep while trying to message you”

“It’s 12 in the afternoon, you dont normally fall asleep in the middle of the day” Adam questions, his voice having obvious worry for you.

“Today’s just been very tiring. But I promise I’m fine, it’s just happened a lot today.” You hated lying to him, your other half, but you know this is something that he shouldn’t have to worry about.

You hear him groan, “how many times do I have to fuckin’ tell you not to overwork yourself for those sinners”

“I know, I’m sorry” you pause “I… I have to go now but I promise I’ll call you later, yeah?“

He was quiet on the other side before he lets out “Yeah, just don’t overdo yourself ok?” His voice was soft, no hint of sarcasm or anger, just him.

You let out a small breathy laugh “I promise. Have fun at your show tonight. Talk to you later, love you.”

“Love you too”

CLICK

You sigh to yourself, you still have the tour to do. It’s fine, everything is fine.

Tomorrow will be a better day. it has to be.

-

TAGLIST: @tired-of-life-86 @nervoussystemss @qopia @lovelyemily @hcneyiced @v3r41ynn

@ghostdoodlen @nxptvne-13 @ximenavc-che

@edgyfluff @ericityyy @diffidentphantom @faimmm @slasher-whore69 @1-randomized @ozzersauce @fanlovedlt @alientee @pandaquick @white-00-7 @call-me-nyx @adamstruelove @jennieyeager @sillyycatt @solatiium @my-name-is-heartache @parisiterileymoon @titan-senpai @lovely-night-owl-86 @innergardentoadpony @animefan106sposts @starlightstarbrightmyfirststar @lovkayy @ilikedrinkingsoda @barrythestrawberry041 @deadpoolssweetchimi @asegirllovesreadingporn @ripashy @deleted-1-800 @sirenetheblogger @ur1nonlygabi @aweleyirene @n0tmentallystable

(I really hope I didn’t forget anyone if I did, just asked to be added in the comments!!)

Shoutout to these specific asked as well, love you all <3

[loredwy]

I mean, I do agree that if it had a healthy twist it could be cool. Thats kinda like the characters you find in found family manhwas, where the main character gets an overprotective family that would conquer countries or buy anything no matter how expensive, and even get kinda jealous for the mc attention without damaging anyone in the process. And where their mls are usually pretty obsessive but trying their best for the main character.

The problem tho... is that the whole yandere idea kinda originated from the whole parasocial theme? and is usually related to non consented obsessions because of that, making it toxic. And, well, they usually escalate it to even more 'creepy' stuff by using it as a medium to an end, as for getting an excuse to draw blood, hurt characters in a sexual context, or stuff like that.

So... yeah, in my opinion, the yandere theme is bad because of toxic behaviours being an inherent part of it, which are not necessarily always resolved, not because of yanderes just being obsessive.

Yanderes aren't for everyone, so I've included a content warning.

HOT TAKE TOURNAMENT!

PRELIMINARY #223

Submission 720

yanderes are good, actually

i know for a fact this is hot because the inverse take was validated earlier. but i'm also gonna justify it just because.

the yandere trope is good and cool. people bash it for being a glorification of abuse or "toxic" or basically... bizarre and disturbing. but have you ever stopped to consider consensual yandere tropes? because the problem isn't ACTUALLY the "yandere" behavior, it's that in "classical" yandere media, it's portrayed as unwanted or frightening to the recipient. the problem is that it's portrayed as unconsenting. but that isn't a problem that's UNIQUE to the yandere genre.

whereas, if you were to consider a consensual yandere relationship...

what if the recipient WANTED someone to be a little obsessive, controlling, devoted to them? what if, in all their devotion, the yandere LISTENED to feedback and catered to their partner's wants and needs? what if "yandere" is simply a trope designed for the weird, the broken, the overinvested, the traumatized? what if to be loved possessively is not a sign of abuse, but a metric of security? what if a yandere is simply a person who is too broken to be well adjusted to the conventional levels at which society expects them to love? what if that love is so WARPED by their lived experience that it appears bizarre and shocking and frightening to the public, but warm and intense and unrelenting, unyielding and securely present, to its recipient? what if, such a person could exist, that would only feel at ease with such a devoted and intense form of love? what then? what if being a yandere were about jealousy and selfishness and possessiveness and control, but moreover, about devotion and care and dedication and conviction to never leave, to care deeply and passionately even when it doesn't seem acceptable, to love in a way that feels safe and ensured.

the yandere trope represents intense and broken lovers and i unironically love it. i WILL die on this hill.

Can I... tell you a secret? It's kind of embarassing, so... keep it between us, okay? I said this poll was for everyone, but really, it was only for you... so I hope you liked it!

Maybe this is a little too forward, but I'd love it if you posted propaganda! B-but you don't have to, if you don't want to! Just being seen by you, being able to be near you... that would be enough... for now, that's enough...

And it's okay for you to reblog our favourite polls for exposure... it feels weird sharing our special things, having everyone see my love for you... but it makes me happy! I want them to know - to know that you're mine... But if you don't reblog them, that makes me happy too! It's like I get to keep you all to myself...

[RESPONSES TO THE ORIGINAL TAKE BELOW]

[tikhondownichi]

That post about Prorva and Lamarr (love the HL reference) has got me thinking. Like.

Sebastian is not a good parent in any sense of the word. But in the circumstances given he is the only reason Prorva is alive when he could have easily killed her for food (as shown in your first few posts about her. Normal fish behavior), out of “mercy” (Urbanshade has never and is especially currently not a safe space for children or offspring). But he kept her alive, gave her his old jacket (weather its because he wanted to give her something special to him, wanted to keep her clothed, or even just wanted to get rid of the jacket is up for debate). But there is at least some amount of caring. I get the whole joke is Sebastian is a terrible dad and isn’t afraid of that fact but like. There must be something.

Im a sucker for angst so just. Something happens to Prorva. Not sure if in her current age or sometime while she was growing. Bad encounter with an Angler/Pandemonium, set off a tripwire trap, bugged turret, or just something that has Prorva hurt bad. Would that be a chance for Sebastian to show a more caring side? Im sure he’d mock her and complain about waisted supplies but like. If he fears, even for a second that she is dead or might die, would it show? Would Prorva notice? Would it affect their relationship as father and daughter? Is or would Sebastian be protective of her, even just a little?

Sorry about the ramblings. Im just obsessed with angst sjfbejfbdk

In fact, we should give Sebastian credit: he was able to raise a little bro in this godforsaken place where anything could kill you, especially a small child. In a place where you're always wondering what you're gonna drink and eat tomorrow so you don't die of stomach ulcers. In the cold and total unsanitary conditions, where if you catch a cold, you are very likely to die. We can berate Seb endlessly for what a bad father he is, but on the other hand, the basic parenting functions he performed: Prorva is alive, healthy, fed, clothed. Objectively yes, Sebastian has made a lot of mistakes and screwed up (a lot), but on the other hand he was sent to Hadal Blacksite barely a young adult, barely knowing how to do anything alone in this world, and now he's a 32 year old adult and he's a fish that has to figure things out on his own. It's crazy. He's understandable.

Yeah. Even though Sebastian is an ass most of the time, but if a situation happens to a gremlin that puts her life in danger - he won't stand by. Yes, Seb will be passed, swear a lot, probably mock, but he'll help (even if he says he's not going to deal with that shit). He can be caring (though he expresses it in his own way) if the situation really demands it.

For the moment, Prorva's whole life revolves around Sebastian. He's the only person close to her. She senses any changes in his behavior and actions, but his complex emotions she will not understand due to her immaturity. After all Seb is an unstable and complicated person.

It's okay, I enjoy reading and writing this kind of musings (especially if it's about angst) ( ´∀｀ )b

[atopvisenyashill]

Hiiiii it’s @martelldragon I ask from my main

BUT, on the Saera/Jaehaerys thing, IM GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE because whenever this conversation about there being SA or at least some weirdness from Jaehaerys towards Saera, a lot of people will brush it off as “you’re being weird, trying to find something sinister where there isn’t anything” when the subtext is there!!! And I also think HOTD sort of replaced Any potential weirdness there was between Ali/Jae when she was reading to him by having her reading to Viserys -> him marrying her -> him maritally r*ping her in the show.

I feel like this sort of acknowledges that there was something not right about Jae and Saera’s relationship but the show sort of gave the Alicent angle years later when Jaehaerys was being taken care of her while dying and any potential creeping on her to her reading to and taking care of Viserys and him being the one to creep/on eventually marry her.

I also think Viserys calling her Aemma in one of the episodes was definitely at least a reference maybe to the old man she took care of in the book mistaking her for Saera.

Anyway seeing you acknowledge the Jaehaerys/Saera relationship instead of ignoring it and acting like everyone who sees something odd there is “reading too much into it” is just so refreshing and sorry if this doesn’t make sense I kind of started rambling lmao

Oh yeah I feel like I get at least one anon every few weeks since I posted it that is just like "you're reading too much into this" without any explanation and it's like...okay well I disagree lmao. I think especially the people who are like "you think Saera is a girlboss but she's actually a psycho" like...WHOMST is "you" in this situation because it's not me! I think Saera was an intelligent, bright young girl who lived a simultaneously spoiled and lonely youth. I think her worst inclinations were often "rewarded" in the very typical "child can't get attention so they settle for negative attention by acting out" type behavior, which made her behavior worse. I think she exhibits some rather disturbing sexual proclivities and children generally don't land on those types of behaviors on their own; they mimic the behavior, good or bad, that they see. Regardless of what happened, I think it's very clear that Saera is mimicking sexually abusive behavior because she has either witnessed or experienced first hand sexual abuse happening. Now who is the likeliest culprit for that hmmm...

I do think the Joffrey comparisons or even the Rhaenyra comparisons crack me up the most though. Like...oh so you think these three children who really obviously experienced/witnessed sexual abuse and proceeded to act out and enact that sexual violence on others are all very similar little psychopaths? Wow tell me more!

But re: the Alicent of it all. I would agree, i think they combine her relationships with Viserys and Jaehaerys in the show, as well as combining her character with Aemma's (and clearly taking inspiration from Dany and Sansa as characters as well). Viserys is not noted to be decaying to death in the books nor is he particularly old when he dies; in fact, it seems implied he's still fairly young looking and handsome when they marry. Which isn't to say that it's still not tacky at best for him to have an affair with a 17 year old and then marry her when she's 18; it's just like, the show takes away that very gray area that George likes to play with where a teenage girl will marry a handsome, fit 25-35 year old and is maybe not too freaked out by it only to realize there is an ocean of difference between her and that man. Which like, fine, I think they still do a good job of interogating that aspect of F&B and Westerosi culture by delving into with Daemyra ("a girl child you bounced on your knee" is CRAZYYYYY i fucking love that line so fucking much especially because we get that scene where Alys is crying over Daemon and Daemon is a bit playful with her - she for sure judges him for his relationship with Rhaenyra but she also can't help but be fond of him, and I think that really displays the sort of dynamic George is going for with this specific sort of sexual abuse. Not dissimilar imo from like, Sansa remarking on how Tyrion was kind to her and the sort of lasting fondness she has for both him and Sandor - they are doing real damage to those girls but at the same time, the love and fondness is there and it matters to that girl regardless!). I do miss the kind of loving-but-weird beginning to her relationship with Viserys though; aging her down and making Paddy look so old and fucked up makes sense when you're trying to drive home the point to a casual audience that is just. so incredibly monumentally slow on the uptake. But Also imo starting it off this way really cuts a lot of that complexity of how damaging The Institution Of Marriage Is, when Alicent becomes an unwilling victim instead of a hopeful bride.

HOWEVER. The fact that her relationship with him can be airlifted out of the late 100's/early 101 right to the late 110s and onto Viserys sure does speak to how creepy her relationship with Jaehaerys is in canon! Doesn't say anything good about the reasons why she is sent into that man's room to read to him! And if he's calling her not his wife's name, not even his sister's name, but Saera's...hmm is all I'll say!

[silvers-not-home]

my lame fucking autistic rambling

here's my massive stupid autistic rant about life series characters and my head canons for them

literally everything i'm thinking about is going on here im not even processing it im just typing sorry for any typos there will be many😭

this is also for my two (2) mutuals who i care for very deeply kiss kiss hug hug <3 /p /gen

okay it's the morning so i'm gonna continue this thumbs up emoji

starting off strong with mr grian minecraft himself (oh wow what a surprise /s)

he tried piercing his own nose in highschool. like. he was THE teenage dirtbag. sneaking out, drinking, smoking, shitty garage band that got nowhere (yes the bad boys was a garage band you c ant change my mind), mcr, pierce the veil, paramore, sexuality and gender crisis, "i know a guy", shoplifting, skipping class, you name it be probably did it with jimmy and joel during freshmen-sophomore year

pearl is his sister, jimmy and lizzie are his cousins (older cousins i should specify. him and pearl are twins but she's the older twin) and they went to the same high school. he met joel through lizzie and jimmy and joel and grian all clicked instantly

joel would stay at jimmy and grians place so much to the point it was like a second home to him and they would all hang out in the basement. joel stayed with his grandparents and helped them out a lot but they passed while he was in his bad boys phase and so he just stayed at grians place a whole lot during his depression (don't worry he's fine now just a little fucked up but they all are)

grian and pearls parents were kinda really shitty (yes i'm also counting yhs lore fuck uou) his whole life and so they got taken by cps and they lived with jimmy and lizzie's parents. and they were much better until he went to japan and all that shit happened (iykyk)

sam made him really realize that like. "oh my fucking god i'm gay. and it's for a damn sociopath. fuck." (that's like half canon)

he and taurtis DID hook up every tuesday thumbs up emoji

his wings didn't start growing in until AFTER senior year (so post japan/yhs incident)

the yhs holds a ceremony thingy for all the people that passed during all that shit and he goes every year and still has rowens glasses and ran into taurtis one year and it was awkward as HELLL but like. it wasn't an awful experience neither of them knew what to say. especially taurtks is bc by then grians wings had already fully grown in and his ass DID NOT recognize him💀

oh yeah also the four of the cousins are all winged animals so grians a parrot, pearl is a moth but like she's one of the super fluffy one (i forgot what they're called), jimmy is a canary (for obvious reasons), and lizzie is a flamingo because. fuck it (also half canary too it's from their mom) but she doesn't have as many features as the others

they all grow feathers (except for pearl) when they're stressed or feel a heightened emotion and have the little winged ears. they still do have actual ears but they grew in behind they're human ears and pearl has the little antennae things on top of her head. lizzie's kind of blends into her hair since yk. pink on pink and they're more folded then fanned out(?) if that makes sense?😭

jimmy was an early bloomer while grian was a late bloomer (i'm talking about wing/feather wise)

also some little sexuality/gender headcanons those are always fun :3

grians definitely trans masc and mlm (he/him anything else gives him dysphoria)

jimmy is THE bisexual demiboy icon (he/they)

lizzie is also bisexual (she/they)

pearl is a NONBINARY LESBIANNNN SHOUT OHT YO ALL MY NONBINARY LESBIANS WOOOO (she also uses any pronouns that would be considered feminine/androgynous or basically just. anything other then he/him/anything masculine)

mumbo is ace and omni (they/he)

scar is pan and a demiboy (all pronouns. like seriously he's collecting them like pokémon cards)

tango is bi and TRANSMASC WOOOO SHOUT OUT TO ALL MY TRANSMASC PEOPLE OUT THERE (he/they/flame)

martyn is transmasc and unlabeled. he doesn't want one/or thinks any is fit for him but is on the aspec (he/him)

scott is just. gay. goddamn fa- (he/him)

also just thought abt something grian jimmy and joel all had matching (infected and now faded) stick and poke tattoos that read "bad boys, today, tomorrow and yesterday" but that last part is faded completely since they ran out of pen ink halfway through and jimmys mom came home and they didn't wanna get in trouble (also yes their tattoos are in the same spot as each others it's on the right side of their chest) and let me TELL YOU. lizzie makes fun of joel TO THIS DAY about that tattoo and she likes to trace the words with her finger sometimes when they're cuddling, humming their old songs (he hates it but she still thinks it's absolutely adorable)

grian and mumbo are middle school best friends and he knows everything that happened to grian when he was in japan

grian, scar and mumbo all went to the same high school and mumbo and scar tried making a baking club called (you're never gonna believe this) the buttercups but grian was supposedly "too cool for that fairy shit" but would hang out during lunch with them and go to the meetings and help buy the ingredients and also help bake with them for extra credit and so would jimmy and joel. for extra credit of course

tango, mumbo and impulse were all in the computer club and coding club in highschool. doc was their teacher and cub was the senior teachers assistant trying to get early college credit

jimmy had the FATTEST crush on tango while they were in high school (yes they all went to the same highschool shut up) and tried impressing him by "making" a robot (mumbo made it and gave him the remote and told him to push two single buttons) and he pushed them in the wrong order and it short circuited and it almost exploded. he got suspended for a month and the only reason he didn't get expelled was because tango said it was his and it was a project. he complemented "jimmys" robot and said it had nice coding and a bunch of other nerd /aff terms that didn't make ANY sense to jimmy (that was his way of confessing but jimmys too stupid /aff to understand it at the moment so tango thought he didn't like him back) and when jimmy was talking to grian and joel about it they were yelling at him about how "JIMMY YOU IDIOT HE LIKES YOU BACK" and "WHAT'D YOU SAY? YOU SAID YOU LIKED HIM TOO RIGHT?" to which he (of course) responded with

"NO?? I DONT SPEAK NERD JOEL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW??"

also tango wears a feather jimmy gave to him as an earring and has kept that earring since they started going out which was like sophomore year or smth like that

they also had an exact conversation to joel before lizzie asked him out (and she also proposed too fight me)

i can go on for HOURS about those three but i'm gonna a do stuff about martyn now because. omg. he drives me CRAZY

also just realizing how most of these are just high school head canons. sorry (no i'm not)

everyone in school always thought that the bad boys were the mean bullies bc they wore leather jackets and studs and cuffs and blah blah blah but in reality they were just the dorky, socially anxious losers that were loud in class because they all adhd. not because they were asshole

martyn and scott were the ones you had to worry about (mostly scott actually but martyn would be a passive aggressive bully)

those little twits had an actual burn book. martyn. the almost loser that pierced his own ears, causing them to get infected but refused to take them out because he wanted to match with his fellow mean gill and wore anime shirts to sleep and doc martins (only because they had his name in it dont praise him he was a loser /aff) wrote "annoying dorks" in the burn book page dedicated to the bad boys. he had NO ROOM to talk and i find that hilarious bc him and jimmy were actually really close and he ate the page. yes. he ate the page in front of scott's face after an argument to prove a point and scott has never respected another person more in his life

i also felt like it was important that martyn and scott got voted prom king and queen

martyn LOVES necklaces, rings, bracelets. he has a matching necklace and/or bracelet with all his four (4) friends that consisted of scott and the bad boys. he still has them as an adult and holds onto the charm when he misses them which is all the time (i love martyn angst evil laugh)

ykw fuck it he still wears the necklaces and tucks them under his shirt, he asked everyone else if they still had theirs and it either broke or they lost it

EVERYOEN EXCEPT FOR JIMMY BC THEY WERE CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS AND HE WEARS IT UNDER HIS SHIRT TOO FUCK YOU I LOVE THEM

and for anyone curious it was a dog bone that is split in half and it like one of those magnetic necklaces that you have to get uncomfortably close to eachother for it to work

okay that's enough for tonight bc i have things i need to do tomorrow and thumbs hurt and it threw in the morning and i've been typing for over an hour straight good night cleveland *proceeds to stay online for another hour*

[volfoss]

back to bad comics

[ID: A cartoonish illustration of an ant holding a bindle. /end ID]

[cables-and-wires]

it's the amatonormativity.

it's the way that friendships are seen by most people as inferior to romance.

it's the way that loveless aros are seen as heartless and the way that lovequeer aros are seen as being confused.

it's the way that i find it hard to relate to allo people sometimes because of the fundamentally different ways i view relationships.

it's the way that platonic love is seen as a gateway to romantic love rather than being it's own distinct thing.

it's the way that people think of queerplatonic as just platonic but being *special* rather than as a genuine feeling and attraction.

it's the way that aros are expected to change their mind later and realize 'the importance of love' or something.

it's the way that queerplatonic love has to be compared so heavily to platonic or romantic or both rather than existing as it's own, unique, but just as valid feeling.

it's the way that close platonic bonds seemingly can't exist without people viewing it with romantic connotations.

it's the way that explaining what queerplatonic is to someone who can't feel it is so difficult because it's not one of the 'generic' love types that apparently everyone already understands.

it's the way that people think that emotional and physical intimacy cannot exist without romance.

it's the way that aromantics in romantic relationships are either seen as not true aros or as lesser partners.

it's the way that aromantics are also told that 'you can still be in a romantic relationship and that's ok' which while true also implies that it's something that is so fundamental to being human that it's absence is bad.

it's the way that fictional aromantic characters are always non-humans who can't 'understand' romance, or are humans but 'broken' in some way rather than being normal people.

it's the way that there's an unspoken 'hierarchy' of acceptable forms of love or relationships and that i'm insane for loving my friends as much as i do.

it's the way that people don't take platonic love seriously at all and how friendships are seemingly replaceable or not seen as valid relationships.

it's the way that i, as a lovequeer aroace, simply cannot exist without feeling invalidated for being different. love is important to me, and i deeply love my friends, my partner, and my bestie - but not every aro feels the same way and that's okay.

i just want to be taken seriously in all honesty.

fighting off internalized arophobia sooo hard im being sooo brave (i'm not)