#yeah i have adhd how could you tell
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
do you guys ever have to lowkey larp as a character from your favorite tv show in order to get things done or am i just insane
#inquiring minds want to know#yeah i have adhd how could you tell#chronic procrastinator#adhd#normal behavior
12 notes
¡
View notes
Text
I mean this in the nicest way possible: I wish I was a better friend.
#delete later#I know Iâm not a good friend#but i think itâs trauma related#and I know thatâs not an excuse#but a reason#and Iâm just⌠also tired of people leaving me#I donât strike up conversations anymore cause I was the friend who always did so#I was always the one making the effort to be in other peoples lives#and it sucks. ya know.#and sometimes I say dumb things that then likeâŚ.. makes people not want to be around me I fear#and likeâŚ. yeahâŚ. thatâs part of life#but Iâm just so tired of being alone#I want friends. I want people to send post cards and letters too#and I wanna hang out with people#and I want them to tell me things I want them to tell me how they are feeling#like. online friends are great!!#donât get me wrong!!#but I know Iâm not a great online friend either.#and when I try to be I fear I come off as flirting. like sometimes I am. donât get me wrong#but I wish I could just⌠go to a friends house and sit with them and hold their hand when they are having a bad day and have the same done#for me!!!#I am always givingâŚ. I am always giving parts of myself to people who donât give themselves back#I still know my ex-best friends favorite color but I doubt she knows what mine was when we where friends#if you read this far justâŚ. ignore it oof.#itâs just a rant#sometimes I rant in a tumblr post cause reading rants back in old journals is. bad. for my mental health#my adhd just picks the emotions right back up and then I go through it again. so itâs best to tumblr rant#Iâve also been having complicated gender emotions again#I donât hate the idea of being a woman/girl as much as I used to. and itâs throwing me off a bit#I mean itâs right on time really⌠I have a gender crisis almost every four yearsâŚ
11 notes
¡
View notes
Text
ya girl Steve is not doing all that great in college work life
#tryna convince myself to do an essay rough draft by thinking how it could ââââimpressâââ a guy in my English class that i canât tell if iâm#crushing on bc iâve never been in feasible romantic situations (ie crushing on some1 not a fictional mythical entity) or if thereâs just#serious mutual âwe should b friends but oh god how do i actually talk to themâ tension#either way thereâs undoubtedly smthn here I just gotta get past aaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllll the social trauma from being ostracized#in middle school & having absolutely 0 consistent real friends in high school; i swear to that axolotl i am on constant Survival Mode at#school & it shows so badly#shouldâve (ie an âexcuse meâ or âthank youâ)#and typing this is EXTREMELY counterproductive rn Iâve been here for like 5 minutes#anyway i feel stupid for this because it feels like smthn i shouldâve been doing in high school but thank the undiagnosed adhd for#annihilating my âhigh school experienceâ in favor of homework I could never complete and still canât apparently#like for christâs sake could i at least be doing good at schoolwork & creative projects if i canât have a social life#or instead have a few friends to make it feel like thereâs less pressure on the hw cuz thereâs more important things in my life#literally screenshooting this rn to know to talk to my therapist abt it. doubt sheâll b able to help but might as well yeah#i donât want it to be obvious how much self loathing & pity & general angst iâm holding when i talk to ppl but Iâve never ever been a good#emotions actor & never will tbh.#AND my minecraft house looks ugly. send post
4 notes
¡
View notes
Text
My math may be very wrong but the price of groceries is so incredibly high that if i ordered food out for every meal from this local restaurant it would be cheaper than buying groceries and making food everyday
#This because my usual order is around 13⏠and i have leftovers for another 2 meals#so that's 3 meals#and ofc i could make soup and that would also last me 3 meals#but it's not a full meal? and the ingredients are like they would surpass it#ofc most items i can buy and reuse for other mealss but i also have the problem of not cooking all of it fast enough#the adhd tax :)#idk it feels like it's cheaper imo#personally ofc and in my reality#last time i went grocery shopping i spent like 60⏠in???? god knows fucking what#once went to get some stuff to cook squid rice and coffeee.... when i tell you the frozen squid and the coffee were 20⏠đŤ #how many meals did that rice last? prob two#also the thing like i bought meat and had to eat it for one entire week so it wouldn't go bad and that's also annoying#THEY DON'T MAKE 1 SIZED PORTION THINGS I CAN'T COOK IT OR EAT IT UP BEFORE IT GOES BAD#yeah if i count the adhd tax ordering out would be cheaper
4 notes
¡
View notes
Text
This is a bit stupid but im kinda proud of myself. For context: For my Comics class, we made single panel joke comics, 6 of them on one page and a cover and back, formatted on a page so that when you fold and cut them in a way they fold together into a little book. I drew the panels with traditional media, scanned it in, edited a bit and formatted things and then had to print 26 copies to then fold into books for the class. Now I'm sitting here, and after folding 3 of them noticed that due to the printer adding margins (because I originally accounted for margins but then it added margins around my margins creating way too much white space, so I just. removed the margins and went with whatever the printer did), this made it so the panels on the left and right werent perfect lined up when you fold it twice, so I had to add the extra step of trimming the margins off the side of each piece of paper before folding them. Not a big deal normally, but I have ADHD. I'm here with 9 mini books folded and telling myself I'll go to bed after I get 10 done... and then I just... don't. I executive dysfunctioned I guess. Just the step of having to trim off the margins first is insurmountable all of a sudden. I'm not great at folding super neatly so they arent perfect, but good craftsmanship is important (Which is why im going through the trouble of trimming them so the folds line up in between the panels properly) and I'm just Stuck. Now here's where I'm proud of myself - after about 45 minutes of refreshing tumblr and stuff, not even continuing the video I was watching because I was watching it 'as I was working' I recognized I'm stuck and I just... Wasn't awful to myself. I'm going to go to bed. I didn't get that 10th one done, and its okay. I'd still have 16 more to do tomorrow anyway, so I'll just do it then. Its so easy to get stuck on a task that you've told yourself you have to get done before you can do something else, but I've been making so much effort to recognize when it happens, and be able to be kind to myself. It's NOT a moral failing on my part, my brain just bugged out. And I need sleep more than I need to torment myself over this damn little book. And I can recognize that. And I'm proud of myself that I can. There once was a time where I might have just sat here until 4 AM just frustrated with myself for being too Stupid or Lazy to just DO it, leaving me both upset and sleep deprived. This isnt constructive or helpful. I can step away now, I've given myself permission.
#yeah you can tell I have ADHD this could have been a lot more brief I bet but idk how to be#I love my tangents I love my context evberyone needs to know the CONTEXT or maybe I'm not clear enough#I love to type Words.#anyway. be kind to yourself when your brain doesn't cooperate. Its frutrating and distressing enough. be understanding this isn't your faul#if you arent in an urgent rush to get it down NOW and you CAN work on it later. do that. maybe you can do something else in the meantime#adhd#adhd problems#adhd brain#self care#just my thoughts really. okay to rb i doubt anyone will actually see this#I dont usually put my thoughts out there like this but idk. felt potentially helpful. and Im making more original posts the past few weeks#its kinda fun
4 notes
¡
View notes
Text
How do u know if its love or mental illness?
#I'm so fucked up in the head#so glad I have therapy later#love#bpd#bipolar#fawn response#like ugh I am so fucking afraid of myself#I take a look at my past 3 relationships and I have absolutely devastated all three of them and I don't want to hurt anyone else#but I'm literally 3 for 3 in the ruining lives department and like okay yeah 1 and 2 eventually got over it and moved on but what if 3#never does? I mean I guess its all so new and raw but like I feel so awful. I feel like I'm never allowed to love again until I can like#not hurt people? but I think we are all always gonna hurt people. ugh love is so stupid I wish I could just turn it off!!#I wish I could just rip it out of my chest and fucking kill fucking beat the shit out of my heart so it never dares to feel or want again#and then I get surprised when I tell people that and they look at me like they're going to cry#why in the world should I be allowed to love?? when it clearly does so much damage??#and then its worse right because then when I love someone I google the symptom of every fucking mental illness imaginable. bpd. bipolar.#adhd. autism. you name it I've searched it. and like I have bipolar so then I start invalidating my own love. I tell myself things like#oh youre just manic and thats making you think that this person is in love with you. oh you're just manic you think you are the center of#everyone's universe. oh you're just manic you aren't actually happy around them they just enable your ugly illness#and then like the things in question that are making me think this as like totally valid and normal things#like oh you're just manic you think they love you- my brother in christ they remember the smallest details about me and always know how to#make me laugh. we can't lock eyes longer than a few seconds before we both smile etc etc etc#but then it gets analytical- you know? bc then my brain is like ok we have to disprove our own personal bartholomuel that nafty brainworm#but you cant logically analyze something like love I don't think#right and then like I'm so deep in this hole of analyzing I start running the simulations of all the damage I'll do if/when it ends poorly#because I'm a piece of shit and I always always always go stir crazy and lose myself in it and panic and try to run and then bury my own#personality and wants and needs bc I want so badly to be loved I subconsciously shape shift myself into their ideal partner#right okay so then I'm minmaxing it- I'm speed running the imaginary relationship in my brain start to finish every single day and living#in a fake scenario where we break up every single day thousands and thousands of times over and none of that even happened#its like- because I have to prove to myself that its pure and genuine love and not mental illness or attachment or pure lust allows this#evil part of my brain to just take over and go hog wild torturing me with all these awful situations that don't even exist!!
5 notes
¡
View notes
Text
crying during a phone call with your pharmacy because every month you have a new crisis while getting your medication #justadhdthings #lovelife
#they are filling my prescription so i will get it tomorrow morning but oh my GOD how i have had to fight for it#my insurance has NEVER covered this medication idk why we suddenly care about doing prior authorization!!!#yesterday the lab tech tried to tell me i had to do prior authorization and have it be denied before i could use my coupon#and like. i am Slow and Stupid so i was just like yeah ok. i don't know how this works!! why would i question someone who does!!!#but i pulled this coupon up today and it says i don't have to do that so i called them AGAIN today#and the pharmacist answered this time and THEN was acting like the coupon wasn't going to work anymore#UGH. i genuinely can't do this every month you guys. i am at the end of my rope and idk what to do#this shortage is never going to fucking end because nobody takes adhd seriously#like i'm so close to just not bothering with meds anymore. i'll just be a fuckup who's always exhausted and can't talk. who cares#m.txt
2 notes
¡
View notes
Text
my dad is the kind of person who makes fun of things (mental illness, gender, sexuality, etc) until he encounters it at a close enough proximity to actually think of it as a real thing at which point heâs totally normal about it forever which means I get the honour of gently guiding him through conversations about Vico Ortiz now that heâs discovered theyâre nonbinary in the same way a bull is gently guided out of a grenade-strewn china shop
#transphobia in the tags#his not mine#i introduced him to ofmd a while back and he really enjoyed it#to the point where he is currently watching it again#and we were driving together today when he brought up that he'd looked up the actor who played 'the woman' and discovered they were nonbinar#nonbinary*#cue kill bill sirens in my head as I recalled him posting transphobic jokes about nonbinary people on facebook#literally two weeks ago#and i was like 'uh huh? :)'#and made comments about how cool they were and how much i enjoy them to like set the tone of the convo before he could#and he did the thing he always does when he doesn't know how to behave about something where he'll#gingerly make a very neutral comment about it thats kind of bigoted but not maliciously#and he said 'the articles about them are very... PC. You can't even tell what they started out as'#and in the voice one uses to talk to a child i was like 'well yeah they're nonbinary that would have been rude'#literally like bare bones concepts in a way he can understand#and he was like '... yeah it would have been'#and then i redirected the convo back to ofmd#but like#this is exactly what happens when he gets used to ideas about like adhd and anxiety and sexuality#will my dad become less transphobic??#could i be seeing the dawn of an age where coming out to my dad is like#a thing that wouldn't make me sick to think about???#like this may seem small to people who don't know him but#i've seen him reconnect with his eldest daughter and promptly get cut off again because he doesn't know#when to stop being an asshole#the fact he didn't openly make fun of vico is like#genuinely a huge deal#buying party poppers to keep in the linen closet just in fucking case
7 notes
¡
View notes
Text
i would loooove if in a book with an autistic protag began hyperfixating for so long, a new chapter would start halfway through as if it's a transition into the next section of their hour long, multi-sectioned lecture about their obscure special interest that slowly trickles in little bits of information about the plot until you've read 5 chapters and get to the end of the book and it turns out that through the power of hyperfixating the protag actually solved the mystery case by actually just sitting down and monologuing for long enough until the pieces naturally fall into place and then you as the reader are just dumbfounded thinking that "there's no ways the rest of the book is about this" but the longer you read, the longer the pages are turned from one to the next and the right edge of the creased spine gets smaller and smaller it settles in that you're here for the long haul until the end of the book in which you get to the end of the protag's monologue that brings it back to explaining hoe the murder happened now that you have all the relevant context and you're just sitting there as you reach the final page of the book which gives a brief description of the the murderer getting arrested
Hey, Tumblr. You like non-stereotypical depictions of autism? What about ⨠neurodivergent protagonists ⨠? Yes? What about asexual neurodivergent protagonists that go on chapters-long rants about their special interests? You want gay characters that are important to the plot too? Then I've got the book for you! The author is gay!!! American Psycho, by Bret Easton Ellis, is
95K notes
¡
View notes
Text
Casual
Pairing: bff!Eddie Munson x Reader Word Count: 12.3k words Warnings: NSFW, smut, protected sex (birth control), virginity loss, friends with benefits, Eddie talks you through it, constant consent, humor during sex, Eddie calls you "mama" but no mommy kink, fondling, slight hair pulling, oral (f!receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms, a million different positions, slight edging?, L-bombs but not romantically, swearing... A/N: So I wrote this as a best friends with benefits thing and not a best friends to lovers, but the line gets blurry sometimes with besties. I really fucking loved this one because they're like...they literally never stop being besties, they're so fucking dumb, I love them. So yeah, this is platonic in the least platonic way possible, and I love that for them. Thank you so much and enjoy! A/N #2: While I was writing the first author's note, my typing kept popping my ears. *cries in adhd like a little bitch*
Eddie finds you in his bedroom doorway moments after hearing the front door close. He half expected Wayne to be coming back home early from work, but that didnât make sense because he only left an hour ago and he probably would have called ahead.
But, no. You stand there with damp hair from a fresh shower and dressed down in some shirt you stole from his drawer and pajama pants. He raises a brow. He hadnât been expecting you, but he isnât surprised in the slightest. He doesnât even bother to move from his spot, leaning back on his bed with an arm behind his head and a book in his hand.
âHey, there,â he mumbles.
You stare at him for a while, saying absolutely nothing. You donât seem particularly pleased. He stares back. Neither of you move.
âIâm upset,â you finally say, still staring, still standing.
If Eddieâs remembering correctly, youâre supposed to be out on a date. So hearing that youâre upset isnât necessarily pleasing to him. Judging by the time, you should have had a very entertaining night. But apparently not.
Heâs the first to move as he lets his book fall down to his lap. âWhy?â
You think for a moment and then drop your stuff at his door, walking inside as you use your foot to close the door. Thereâs a long pause between speaking, as you use it to walk around his room and look at all of his stuff. âItâs sort of embarrassing.â You pick up a random pepper shaker on his desk, swirling it around and then turning on your heel to look at him.
Heâs got his head tilted to his shoulder with a look on his face that reads âseriously?â. He sits up, lifting a brow. âIâve seen and learned a lot about you since we became friends, so I doubt thereâs anything you could do or say to embarrass yourself in front of me.â
You roll your eyes, licking your lips as you set the pepper shaker down again. âOkay, wellâŚâ you trail out, trying to decide how you want to tell him. âYou know how I had that date?â
He puts his book away, crossing his legs and leaning back on his elbows. âThe drive in?â
âThe drive in.â
âWhat about it?â
âWellâŚâ you sigh. âOkay, soâŚâ You lick your bottom lip, trying to form the words. Youâre never shy in front of him, so there must be something wrong. You chew on your lip, thinking to yourself with a heavy sigh. You plop down onto the bed next to him. âGod, so, we got there and the movie was fine and whateverââ you roll your eyes, ââand we watched most of it but at some point, we started, like, kissing, and whatever, right?â
Eddie shrugs, laying back to stare at the ceiling as you continue to recount your night. âYeah.â
âAnd it got a littleâŚâ
He raises a hand to prompt you, âHot and heavy?â
âYeah.â You look down at your lap where you fiddle with your fingers. âSo we drove away somewhere moreâŚmore private?â
He looks at you, sitting back up enough to fully see your face as he smirks lightly. He gives you this devilish look that makes you want to hit him. âDid you...?â
You nod a little. âYeah.â
Swallowing thickly, you watch his face shift as he takes in your demeanor. His head slumps to one side, his smirk falling off his face. âOhâŚâ he mumbles. âHow do you feel?â
You stare at him. He can see you mulling over your response as you struggle to find the right words. Despite yourself, you feel a knot tying itself in your throat. You force it down and away, pretending itâs not there and hoping itâll help. And it doesâŚfor now, at least.
âIâm upset.â
He cringes a little, lifting an arm to give you a place to lean into him. âThat bad?â
You bury your face in his shoulder and pout. âYeah.â You pull away suddenly. âI mean, I know everyoneâs first time sucks ass and whatever, but, likeâŚâ You drop your head in your hands, wiping at your face as you find yourself glad for washing your makeup off earlier. âEddie, I didnât evenâŚâ
He almost seems offended. He doesnât care about announcing it because youâre alone and also itâs outrageous. âYou didnât cum?â
âNo!â you exclaim. âIâŚfaked it.â Youâre almost disgusted with yourself for it. It sort of just happened in the moment. He was clumsy in trying to get you there, but it wasnât working. You just wanted to end it off and move on, so you justâŚmade the sounds and the faces. He seemed pleased enough. âI feel kinda bad. I mean, he was sweet and all, and he, like⌠He tried, butâŚâ
His question is crude with as little hesitation as humanly possible. Again, he doesnât care about being awkward or guarded because youâre his best friend, and youâve talked about worse, and thereâs no filter with you. âHow big was he?â
âEddie, what?â Usually you wouldnât mind his brashness, but youâre still trying to get over the events of a couple hours ago.
âHonest question,â he shrugs. âI just wanna know. Was he likeâŚâ he lifts his hand, squinting his eyes and hunching over and pinching his fingers together, âlittle?â
You shrug. His bluntness is rubbing off on you. You feel a little less awkward and you hunch a little less. âHe was fineâŚjust a little tooâŚshort? To reach?â
He makes a face, like heâs shocked and disgusted. He looks you up and down almost like itâs your dick. âThatâs rough,â he says. âHow many times did he cum?â
âWhy do you assume he came?â you raise a brow.
He rolls his eyes with a scoff. âPlease, guys always cum.â
You roll your own eyes and push yourself off the bed. Youâre roaming his room again as you mess with all of his stuff. You open his drawer and ruffle through his unfolded clothes, you pick up empty beer cans and turn up your nose at the smell, you strum the strings of his acoustic. You do all of this instead of looking at him when you answer. âTwice.â
âOh.â You fake disgust when he looks at you, smirking and bobbing his brows at you. âYou mustâve been really fuckinâ nice.â He makes this weird growling sound, and the âewâ that comes out of you is guttural. He snorts happily, and then his humor is gone as he deadpans, âOr heâs a lightweight. Did he cum inside?â
Youâre sick of him.
You shake your head. âI made him wrap it.â
âArenât you on the pill?â
âYeah.â He hums.
He watches you lean back against his desk, looking at this weird mask he had just sitting among the chaos. You move it around in your hands and force down the heat in your throat at the recounting going on in your head. Swallowing it down is a hard task that ultimately fails as he watches you begin to choke on the unshed tears.
He sighs, his chest warm with a bitter emotion as he watches your waterline threaten to spill over. âOh, câmere.â He stands from the bed, opening his arms wide to pull you into a bone crushing hug. Itâs warm and it hurts and it feels so nice. He smells like he always does, green apple shampoo stolen from your house and cheap cologne and cigarettes. Itâs a nice smell.
âI guess I likeâŚI donât know, I expected a little more. It wasâŚreally disappointing.â A couple of tears manage to get past you, and it pisses you off but youâre already over it. âI wantedâŚto get rid of it, and now itâs gone but it doesnât feel like anythingâs changed, but it also feels like everythingâs changed, but not in a good way.â
He rubs your back, listening to you as you need him to listen. âIâm sorry,â he mutters when you stop. He sets his chin atop your head after a kiss to your forehead. Part of him wants to square up with the dude you went out with, but he sets that urge to the side in order to comfort you. âThat fuckinâ sucks, and you deserve so much more.â
After a moment, you pull away from him, wiping at your face with a huff. âItâs stupid.â
âSânot stupid.â
You donât argue, you just throw yourself onto his bed, laying flat on your back with your arms and legs spread so wide that you take up nearly all the space left. Eddie watches you lay there with your eyes closed and your breath slowed. He thinks youâre really pretty, especially right now with you wearing his shirt. He almost hates himself for thinking to askâ
âLook, it might beâŚcreepy and weird to ask andâJesus, if Iâm being creepy, I want you to fuckinâ punch me s hard as you canâbut, shit, maybe I should shut up.â
His rambling is cut off by you, still lounging on his bed. You havenât moved, your eyes are still closed. You donât seem fazed at all by his awkwardness. âWhat are you about to ask me, Ed?â
He sighs, sitting next to you with his foot shoved underneath him. He sets his hand on your thigh. You still donât move, used to his touchy-communication. âWhat happened tonight fuckinâ sucksââ
âYou say âsucksâ a lot.â
âItâs a nice word.â
You peek at him through one opened eyes. âYouâre weird.â
âNeverthelessââ You laugh. He watches your belly tense as you do it, rolling over to sit up and witness his fumbling with opened eyes. âAs I was saying, before I was so rudely interruptedâŚâ
You laugh again, and heâs happy he could do that for you, especially after your rough night. Youâre happy you could ease his worries, because he was being awkward, and Eddie isnât usually awkward with you, and you know he likes your stupid jokes.
He takes a breath and starts again. âWhat happened sucks, andâonly if you want toâI would be willingâif youâre comfortableâtoâŚfix it for you.â
You raise a confused brow, less confused and more vaguely unbelieving. âFix itâŚfor me?â you echo.
He shrugs. âI donât like when you cry, and I want to make you feel better. Iâm not a total expert on sex, but I think I know my way around it pretty well.â He puts his hands together like heâs going to pray and points them toward you. âIf you wantâŚI can help.â
You raise a brow and stifle the smirk threatening to grace your lips, ready to tease him in order to push down the flush of heat rushing through you. âYou wanna fuck me.â
He raises his hands. âI want to fuck you if you want me to fuck you. To help. But Iâd love to fuck you⌠if you wantâŚme to fuck you.â Thereâs a pause. âMaybe.â
You look away, scratching your head in thought. âSince when have you wanted to fuck me?â
He smacks a hand down onto your thigh just to do it. âBabe, itâs always been on the table. All you had to do was ask.â Whore.
You roll your eyes for the millionth time. âYouâre such a guy.â
He shrugs like he doesnât care at all. âLike I said, guys always cum.â
You raise a brow at him, shoving his hand off your knee to stand again. You jab an accusatory finger into his chest. âIs that to insinuate that youâve cum thinking about me?â
âIâ Okay, I did notâ Listen here, you little shit.â
You laugh out loud, still pointing at him to make fun. âIâm kidding!â He fake laughs, and you return the favor by tilting your head and questioning him further. âBut have you?â
To avoid it being awkward, he just shrugs nonchalantly and answers the question. âA couple times.â It works, even though you flush at the answer.
âWhat? That is so weird!â
âThat is not weird.â He hopes you ignore the way his cheeks turn pink, powering through it with more brashness and more jokes. âIt is completely normal to think of your best friend when youâre cranking one out.â
You shake your head definitely. âNo, itâs not.â
He challenges you. âHave you ever cum thinking about me?â
Without turning your head, you glance away from him. âI donât think that makes it normal.â
âSo you have, is what Iâm hearing.â You turn to him quickly, raising a finger as you try to speak over his ad libbing. He thinks heâs really funny, and itâs gonna make you scream.
âListenââ
âListening.â
You huff, glancing away and then looking back at him. Well, not really him, but the ends of his hair over his shoulders. âMaybe once or twiceâŚâ you shrug, âMaybe even thrice, but thatâs notââ
âYou little freak!â He points his finger at you, his whole face wide with amusement.
âHeyâ Be nice to me. Or Iâll cry. You donât like it when I cry.â You pout to give him a preview. Youâre sure you could summon more tears if you really need toâŚ
âYouâre evil,â he shakes his head, looking up at you with a huge grin.
You bob your brows. âYes, I am.â
He surprises you. In the next moment, his arms are wrapped around your midsection, and your feet lift off the ground. He takes you in his hold and turns you until youâre being slammed into the bed. You laugh as you bounce, squirming around to push him off of you as he pins you under his weight. Both of you are giddy with the amusement, laughing at each other and playing along with the otherâs fun.
When you open your eyes and the laughter dies down, you realize that heâs actually pinning you to the bed. It sobers you up almost immediately, and you realize that heâs really close. He could kiss you right now if he really wanted to. You notice the exact moment he realizes it, too.
You gulp and take a breath for courage. Your voice is smallâawkwardâbut itâs okay because heâs your best friend. âYou canâŚâ you mumble. âYou can help, if you want to help.â
His eyes glance at your lips, and then he raises both his brows as he looks back at you. âYou want me to?â
You nod, trying not to hold your breath to avoid dulling the charged air between you. âYes, I want you to.â
He tilts his head and the tips of his hair tickles your cheek. âIs it because I have you pinned?â
âIt helps.â
Eddie backs off of you, sitting back on his bed to allow you to sit back up. You do, crossing your legs underneath you. He thinks for a moment, watching you as he does. Thereâs a long pause where the both of you contemplate something, unsure if the other has the same thing in mind.
âBefore we do anything,â he breaks the silence carefully and articulately, and you can see the moment that all his seriosity has set in, âI need explicit permission. And you gotta let me know how youâre feeling. I donât wanna do anything to make you uncomfortable.â
You listen intently, nodding along as he lays down the rules. âOkay,â you say.
He tilts his head toward you, looking up at you through his bangs. His brown eyes are so pretty. Youâve always thought so. Theyâre so warm and loving, just like him. Itâs the reason you became his friend in the first place: because heâs warm and loving. âS0?â he prompts, snapping you out of your thoughts.
You take in a deep breath and smile, lifting a hand and slowly setting it on his own. âI want you to have sex with me, Eddie.â
He visibly shudders, and you think heâs a sucker. Technically, he is, but whatever. âJesus,â he mutters, running his free hand through his hair. Then he smacks yours away, and your chuckle turns into a snort. He always knows how to make you comfortable. âOkay.â
You turn your body to face him, clearing your throat. âSo⌠How do weâŚ?â
âOkay, soâŚâ He makes a âshooâ motion with his hands, so you get confused and raise a brow. You slowly and hesitantly lean back onto your elbows, staring at him with all the silent questions you can muster. He rolls his eyes. âNo, get up. Sit over there, whore.â
You roll your eyes at him in return, moving to sit at the head of his bed with your legs crossed in front of you. Playfully, he rolls his eyes yet again and shakes his head at you like heâs disappointed. Eddie turns to lounge across the foot of the bed, propping himself up on his elbow. âFirst, I want you to walk me through everything he did.â
âOkay,â you mumble, thinking back to what happened in that car. âWell, he kissed me. We made out for a bit, and then he pulled me into his lap.â You only glance at him as you speak, but heâs so nice about it that you donât feel so weird talking to him about being poorly fucked. âAnd he took off my shirt. He was, like, moving my hips and stuff.â
âOkay.â He listens so closely. His full attention is on you and only you, and it feels nice.
âThen he, uh, he played with my nipples. You motion vaguely to your chest.
âDid he use his mouth?â he questions gently.
âMhm.â
He shakes his head then. Heâs still gentle but his tone leaves no room for argument. âYou gotta say yes or no, sweetheart, or Iâm not touchinâ you.â
Thatâs fair enough. âYes.â
âAnd it felt good?â
âYes.â It almost sounds like a question, but he understands what you mean.
âOkay,â he gestures toward you. âWhat else did he do?â
You think for a moment. Itâs already becoming a little fuzzy as your mind becomes distracted by the thought of Eddie, your sweet, idiot Eddie, doing these things to you and making it feel good.
This is the same boy youâve seen fall out of his van because he tripped on the step and totally ate shit hitting the ground. This is the same boy youâve seen stuffing his face with marshmallows because he was dared to by Mike and Dustin, and he was trying to prove that he could do more than they originally dared for him.
This is also the same boy youâve seen absolutely shred his guitar with some fingering skills youâve been envious of. And the same boy whoâs seen you cry a million times and wiped away all the tears with plenty of jokes and compliments and threats of violence as were humanly possible. If thereâs anyone who can make you feel good, itâs him.
You shake the thoughts away in order to get them straight. âHe laid me down on the seat,â you remember, âand took off his pants and stuff.â You donât really need the âand stuffâ but it does make it a little easierâŚfor some reason.
He furrows his brow in question, tilting his head like heâs grossed out all of a sudden. âOkay?â
âAnd then heâŚâ you stare at his Dio poster across the room, âput it inside.â
He lifts his lip in disgust. Heâs done that a lot tonight in response to this guy. âThatâs it?â he asks with more distaste than you thought possible.
âWhat do you mean?â you furrow your own brow this time.
âBaby,â he says effortlessly, like heâs said it a million times before (because he has), âthere wasnât even foreplay.â He sits up, âNo wonder you didnât get off, girls need foreplay. Guys donât need shit. We just think about tits, and weâre hard.â He shrugs, âIâm thinking about tits right now. Hard as a rock.â
The face you make transcends the rolling of the eyes or the upturn of a lip as you scoff. âEddieââ
âYou gotta be built up,â he continues, brushing past his comment like he never said it to begin with. You consider his words, taking them as the truth because he knows way more about sex than you would. Heâs no prodigy, maybe, but youâre barely out of your virginity, so heâs got more advantage than you. âDid you blow him?â
You glance up, a bitter tone in your words as you mutter the first part, âBetween positions⌠yeah.â
You donât think ��disgustâ fits anymore. Heâs just annoyed and entirely displeased. âYou blew him, and he didnât blow you?â
âI thought the term was âeat me outâ.â
He shrugs a shoulder absently. âSymmetry.â
You airquote your response. âOkay, âsymmetryâ.â
âYou didnât answer my question.â
âYes,â you reply finally, still tasting traces of your toothpaste in your mouth. âI blew him, but he didnât blow me.â
Eddie makes a guttural sound to try to properly express the amount of offense he takes to this. âYou know what, fuck this guy.â He leans forward, placing both his hands on your knees and holding them there as he stares at you with those big, brown eyes of his. âDonât worry, sweetheart, I got you now.â
Itâs easy to take humor from that to avoid dealing with the arousal it sends through you. âYouâre real confident.â
Heâs not pulling back on anything, he has no reason to. He somehow becomes more intense as he effortlessly response, âBecause Iâm gonna fuckinâ eat you out like my life depends on it.â
âIââ Thereâs no way you can respond to that. âOh. Uhm.â Your mind is immediately a jumbled mess of fantasies and incoherent words and more fantasies. Thereâs a heat between your thighs and an anticipation in your belly that makes it difficult to think.
âRelax,â he catches your sudden daze. He pats your thigh like itâs just something that he does and not a preface to him pulling them apart and having a feast. âYouâll be fine.â
âOkay.â
He gets up, stretching his arms high over his head to pop his back. You canât help the way your eyes fall to the slip of his belly, spying a tattoo hidden away there underneath his shirt. âIâm gonna go take a shower.â He eyes you. âYou donât need any infections.â
You turn your lip up because you think heâs disgusting. âThatâs gross, Eddie.â
He points at you. âBut considerate.â
You get up specifically to push him away from you. âGo shower, you dirty whore.â
He winks at you. âYes, mama.â You donât know how to respond to that. âGet comfy, Iâll be out in a bit.â
You swallow thickly, trying not to dissolve into some pathetic puddle because he called you âMamaâ. Youâve never been into that before, and all of a sudden, you canât get the sound of it out of your head. Heâs already long gone, leaving you alone in his room as you sit on his bed to wait for him.
Youâre a total goner, youâre sure.
~
Youâre going through more of his stuff by the time he comes out of the shower. You glance over your shoulder at him after the door closes, and youâre almost surprised by what you find.
Itâs not like you havenât seen Eddie shirtless before. The sight isnât unusual to you, but given the context and the way his sweatpants hang low on his waist, giving the perfect view of his gentle V-line, his soft tummy. Itâs a mouthwatering sight, and itâs taking everything to look away.
His hair is still dripping. The dampness is giving his curls a gentle shine in the lamp light in the room. He rubs his towel haphazardly through his hair as he speaks. âI know Iâm gonna take them off anyway, butââ
He stops short when he finally looks up to see you. Youâre rummaging through his drawers like the little thief that you are, your hand stopped somewhere in the second drawer in favor of watching him. But thatâs not what makes him pause. Itâs the fact that youâre in one of his shirts, one that goes down past the curve of your ass and stops short before even reaching your mid-thigh. Your legs are bareâyouâve discarded all your other clothes somewhere in the room and left yourself in some underwear and his shirt.
He always knew you were sexy. As your closest friend, itâs his duty to know how sexy you are, but this is another level and he doesnât understand why.
Instead of pointing out the fact that his sweatpants are growing a sudden bulge, he gestures to the shirt. âAre you gonna steal that?â
âYes.â
âOkay.â He scratches the back of his neck, tossing his towel onto a chair stuffed in the corner of his room. Itâs stacked high with clean laundry that he never got around to. He pays no mind to it when the towel and a couple of clothes fall to the floor immediately after.
Eddie takes a breath before he looks back at you. âCâmere,â he mumbles, raising a finger to make a come hither motion. You listen to him, walking over to stand in his space. Your hands rest at his sides because you always rest your hands at his sides, and, naturally, he holds you back.
âRemember,â he begins in a quiet voice (or as quiet as Eddie can be), âyou gotta use your words. I gotta know if Iâm hurting you, or Iâm doing too much or too little.â His thumbs stroke your elbows. âYou know your body better than anyone, but Iâm gonna do my best to know it even more than that.â
You chuckle playfully. âOkay.â
âAnd you definitely, definitely have to let me know when Iâm doing something right.â
âSo youâll keep doing it?â you guess.
He shakes his head and says in a flat voice, âNo, to stroke my ego.â
You roll your eyes, and your humor is interrupted by his hand lifting to touch your cheek. You lean into it because his hands are warm. âYou still wanna do this?â Heâs completely serious, and a little nervous now as he looks at you.
You nod, raising one hand to wrap around the back of his neck. âI trust you, Eddie.â
He nods, mostly to himself. âGood. Thatâs good.â His tongue darts out to lick his lips. âThatâs great,â he raises his brows. Then he sighs, glancing away from your intense gaze. âLetâs hope I donât fall in love with you or something, or youâll be getting your back blown out every night and twice on Sundays. Jesus H. Christ.â
You roll your eyes and shake your head at his ridiculousness, almost forgetting that heâs probably completely serious and you are about to fuck as you play into your banter. âYouâre soââ
You donât get to finish your sentence. Youâre cut off by Eddieâs lips engulfing your own, warm and soft and really nice against your own. You let out a long breath, pulling him closer by the back of his neck as he takes a step forward into your space.
To be completely honest, youâve kissed Eddie before. Youâve kissed him on a dare, you kissed him to trick people into thinking youâre dating. Hellâhe was your first kiss because you and some friends were screwing around and then you happened to be picked to be locked in a closet for seven minutes because you were at a stupid party playing stupid games.
So the sensation isnât completely new, but the making out part is. Eddie is a really good kisser.
When he pulls away, you arenât really expecting it. He seems pleased by your daze as he bobs his brows. âSo what?â
Instead of answering him, as youâve forgotten what you were going to say, you kissed him again. Itâs really nice, kissing someone. Itâs nice to be this close, to breathe each otherâs air, to taste each otherâs lips. His tongue grazes your top lip, and you lean into it, because you trust him and itâs nice.
Eddie keeps you pulled close against his body as he starts stepping forward, keeping you from tripping as he does. The back of your knees hits the bed, and you hold on too tightly as you feel yourself falling backwards. You laugh when you fall back onto the bed with his weight on top of you. He laughs with you, âYouâre okay, mama.â
He silences you with his mouth again, enjoying the feeling of your lips on his. He likes it just as much as you. Between that and his little pet name, your mind is swimming and your heart is racing. When he pulls away, itâs only to press his lips to the skin of your neck, suckling and nipping gently at the flesh as he does. You close your eyes, your fingers happily tangled in his hair as you keep him close.
âMama,â you mutter under your breath, seeing just how much you like it as he nips at your neck. âI like that.â
You can feel him smiling against your skin. âYeah? Want me to keep using it?â
You nod, âYeah.â A hum echoes in your chest as he wraps his hands around your sides, lifting you a bit just to put you farther up the bed. He crawls on top of you, one of his knees settled between your legs as his hand caresses your side.
Your breath becomes thin when his hand smooths underneath his shirt, feeling the softness of your skin with a quiet breath. His palm stops at your belly as he slips the very tips of his fingers to rest underneath your breasts, feeling just how warm you are.
âGood?â he mutters, taking your earlobe so gently between his teeth and letting it go.
You nod, your eyes heavy like theyâre glued down with sap. âMhmm,â you breathe.
âYes or no, mama?â he reminds you, gently kissing your lips.
âYes.â
He smiles, rewarding you with another kiss as he whispers against your lips. âGood girl.â
You donât have time to think about that right now. Itâs too nice, too fuzzy. It sends a warm flush straight to the pit of your stomach and makes your breath hitch. Eddie knows and adds it to the list of things you like for tonight.
The slightest whimper slips from your lips when you feel his warm fingers reach up to brush your breast, gently groping you as he plays with your peaking nipples. He hikes your shirt all the way up until your bare chest is revealed to him, and he takes them in with an appreciative breath before leaning down to take one between his lips.
Itâs much different than the guy before him. Eddieâs deliberate, licking and sucking and so, so gently nipping the bud. It sends a strange sensation through you, lighting every nerve ending and making it impossible to think straight as you keep your fingers tangled in his hair. You keep him close. It feels too good to do anything else.
You speak between breaths, your heavy eyelids and sticky lips working against your attempts to speak. âYouâve seriously cum to the thought of me?â you wonder, whimpering when his other hand comes up to pinch your other nipple between the pads of his fingers.
âYeah,â he mutters, sucking harshly and making you gasp.
âWhy?â you ask, making an attempt at playfulness between the haze of his ministrations. âAm I that irresistible?â
With only seriousness, Eddie looks up at you, letting his fingers take over in teasing you. âYeah.â
Your grin falters, almost not expecting his answerâor at least the amount of honesty in it. âWait, really? Youâre not just buttering me up?â
He makes a face, a confused one that flatters you more than anything else. âNo? Youâre fucking sexy as shit.â He tilts his head, âYou think Iâm lying when I tell you that?â Eddieâs hand smooths down your side, gripping your hip as he goes.
You shake your head, bringing your knee up and sighing gently when his hand slides over the round of your ass. âYou donât have any weird feelings for me, do you?â
He pinches you, and you squirm away from him giddily. âMama, Iâm in love with you, but not like that.â He gently makes your side. âNow stop talking to me. Itâs hard to kiss you if Iâm talking.â
You chuckle. âYes, si-â
Your words are interrupted by a tiny moan when his fingers graze the mound of your pussy through the thin fabric of your panties. Your back arches just slightly, the ticklish feeling making quick work of scouring your body.
âDoes that feel good?â he wonders quietly.
You nod and bite down hard on your lip. The anticipation of it is eating you up. âYes.â
âGood,â he lilts, continuing to brush his middle finger up and down the length of your panties until heâs pulling them to the side just enough to see you. Eddie licks his lips, leaning in to kiss your belly. Youâre weak against him, trying not to cant your hips up into him and deter his work.
His finger caresses your folds through the bit of slick that had begun to gather there. âYou feel the difference?â he asks between kisses.
âYes.â Your voice is a squeak, and he seems quite proud of himself for making it that way.
âIâm gonna take these off, okay?â he says. âThen Iâm going to put my mouth on you. Youâll let me know if Iâm doing too much, right?â
You nod. âYes, Eddie.â
He smiles, âThanks, mama.â He feels the way you react to that, the slightest flutter of your folds. He sits up just to allow him the access to slip your underwear down your legs. The little, flimsy material comes right off. He drops it to the ground and comes to kneel in front of the bed. You hold your breath when his hands close around your waist, pulling you down to the edge to bring you that much closer to his face.
Instinctively, you close your thighs. Itâs hard to will them to open and stay that way with the way his warm breath fans over your skin, his hands touch your body, his eyes stay glued to your own, constantly asking for consent.
You think heâs going to say something smart, smirk at you and chuckle at your shyness. But he does. Instead, he just gives you a calming look and asks, âYou still okay, mama? You wanna stop?â
You let out a gentle breath, shaking your head. âNo, Iâm okay.â You chew on your bottom lip. âJust not used to this.â
âThatâs okay,â he reassures. His kindness is honestly making your arousal worse. You feel like youâre going to start shaking if he pulls away from you. âCan I open your legs?â
You nod. âPlease.â
He nods back, kissing your knee and smoothing his hands down your thighs, one on each side. The hand on the inside of your thigh dips so slowly between yours, seating deep between them until heâs slowly pulling them apart. The sound your thighs make when he opens them is lewd, itâs the quiet schlick sound that comes from the arousal that seeped out of you. You start to feel embarrassed, but then he sighs like heâs so relieved to see it.
âTell me why youâre so fucking pretty,â he shakes his head. Your thighs are itching to close as you watch him lean in, pressing his lips to the inside of your thigh, just to kiss you. You bite your lip, nervous and so ready.
But then he stands. âGive me a second,â he says, walking away from you as his hands slide off your thighs. You sit up higher on your elbows, watching in confusion and slight annoyance as he leaves you on the bed.
âEddie,â you call while he walks to his dresser.
âHang on,â he smiles. âJesus.â He does that thing where his tongue sticks out over his bottom lip as he sorts through the junk on his desk. âNot leavinâ. Just lookinâ for something,â he mutters.
You fall back on the bed, willing your heart to calm. He makes a sound of success, turning back on his heel to get back to you. You look at him and watch as he cards his fingers through his hair. He pulls it back into a ponytail, wrapping a hair tie around it to make a messy bun.
You flush at the sight because not even a moment later, heâs on his knees again right between yours. âYou canât be serious,â you say.
âOh, Iâm dead serious,â he replies, looking at you excitedly. His hands land on your thighs again, keeping them spread apart as he pulls you again to the very edge of the bed. âIâd say hold on tight, but thereâs nothing to hold onto so⌠Enjoy!â
He dives between your thighs, and the heat of his mouth latches onto your pussy. Your mouth slips open and a deep moan rumbles out of you. Your thighs close around his head as you feel his tongue licking at you, lapping at your folds as he delves between them.
âEddie,â you call, one of your hands reaching down to touch the top of his head, trying to find some purchase at his hair. His tongue swirls around your clit, and youâre a total goner when his lips close around it and suck. You mewl at the unfamiliar feeling, enjoying every bit of it with an immense amount of pleasure.
Youâd expected him to go slow, hesitant little licks against your folds as he worries about overwhelming you. But this is not that. Itâs hot and heavy with deep strokes of his tongue and the tiniest nips of his teeth. Thereâs no way to keep yourself calm. Your hips are tilting up into his mouth, meaning he has to hold you down with his arms wrapped around your thighs.
Eddie seems to be thoroughly enjoying himself. He moans into you, heavy breaths fanning over your skin as he eats you out âlike his life depends on itâ. Your open-mouthed moans encourage him, especially when you say his name in this high-pitched gasp and slam your eyes shut. Your ankles hook behind him, pulling him in closer.
Eddieâs making the most obscene soundsâsounds worse than what youâre making. He slurps and laps at you like a dog drinking water. Youâd call him a whore again if you could think of humor at the moment, but the only thing you want to tell him is to keep going and never stop.
When he pulls his mouth off of you, you whine. He smiles, knowing heâs doing a good job as he shushes you gently. âItâs okay, Iâm not stopping,â he says. In the next moment, you feel his hand cup your pussy. âIâm gonna put my fingers inside of you. Is that okay?â
You nod. âPlease, Eddie.â
His fingers tease your entrance, though you donât think he means to. He looks at you as he prods a finger at the seam of your cunt, slowly pushing it in until they part around him. A short âahâ sound is what he hears as he presses his finger inside of you, moving slowly until heâs got it all the way in. âGood?â he checks, the slightest thrusts moving in and out of you as he does.
Your nods are becoming insistent. âYes, Eddie.â
âYou want more, mama?â
âYes, please.â He loves how polite you are. Youâre usually so meanâthough, he loves that about you, too. It just means you love him.
He sets a steady rhythm, one thatâs still slow as he focuses in on your face, the way it shifts and squints at every little push of his thick finger. It feels really nice, the way he takes his time with you, making sure you feel everything he gives you.
âMâgonna add another. You ready?â
âYeah.â He rewards you with a second finger, pushing it inside along the first and stretching you out for him some more. He thrusts them in and out, a slow and steady motion slowly building as he massages those inner parts of you. He curls them, and they press against a spongy point inside of you that has you rolling your eyes. âThat feels good, Eddie. Donât stop.â
He smiles at your initiative, giving you what you want with as much enthusiasm as you give in wanting it. He leans in, his tongue darting out to lick at your pussy. Youâre wetting his fingers so nicely, making it so easy to slip them in and out of you.
His lips wrap around your clit, and he sucks on it while you whine, while his fingers curl inside of you with every intent of coaxing an orgasm out of you. Little ramblings fall from your tongue as you grind against his. He's greedy in the way he licks around his fingers, over your clit, tasting your arousal as it seeps out of you.
A knot is tightening in your belly. Your hips reach for him with each little nuance of his skilled fingers as you seek out the release he's promising you.
His name comes out as a moan on your tongue. If either of you hadn't been so preoccupied, he would have made fun of you for it. Instead, you're spread out on his bed with his fingers inside of you, a moment away from cumming on his mouth.
Your hips try to lift up into him as you get closer and closer. He holds you down with one arm, his lips and tongue and prodding fingers working in tandem to taste you.
Your ankles hook behind his head as your back arches off the bed. âEddie,â you whisper. He feels the way your pussy clenches around his fingers, his tongue becoming more insistent in the way it flicks and laps at your clit.
He makes these sounds of encouragement, humming and mhm-ing into you as he goes. Your release is like a burst in your belly, it starts there and swarms into your legs, your chest, the base of your being. Eddieâs tongue keeps licking and lapping at you as your back arches off the bed and your legs tighten around his head. You moan his name as white noise erupts in your ears, the distant murmuring of his words muffled as you try to cope with the pleasure that has begun to set every nerve ending on a wild fritz.
Eddie seems more enthused than anything else by your orgasm. Both his arms wrap around your thighs and hold you down. He actually stands, bending at the way to get closer as he longs to taste all the slick and arousal that leaks out of you. As he sucks on your clit and hums at the way that you taste, you grip his hair and pull him in closer.
But thereâs a point where you think you might die if he touches you any more. Thereâs a gasp in your chest that rips its way out as you push him away from your fluttering pussy as kindly as possible. He leans in again, just for a moment, before he registers your body pulling away from him, notices the way your thighs unclench and your fingers loosen from his hair and your moans and gasps of his name turn into weak whimpers and grunts.
âFuck,â you huff as you lay back on his bed. You turn onto your belly, crawling up his bed and collapsing into his pillows that spell like him. He watches, licking his lips and wiping his face with a smile.
âI was right,â you mumble, feeling your body coming down like you're floating back to the ground.
âAbout what?â You feel the bed dip next to you where Eddie sits down. Then you feel him lay back, his head laid out on your thighs.
âYou're a whore.â
He rolls his eyes, smacking your leg with the back of his hand. âYou liked it.â
âDoesn't mean you're not a whore,â you say. âJust means you're a good one.â
He sits up, moving over you so he's caging you in. His hair has come mostly undone by now, and it's more of a mess due to your insistence on how wonderful he is. His guitar pick hangs down in your face. Your eyes cross and uncross trying to watch it dangle.
âWell, if I'm a whore,â he bends down, his soft lips pressing into your neck as your lashes flutter, âthen I'm gonna charge you. It's three dollars a minute.â
You chuckle. âWell, guess what?â He hums. âI'm poor, so no.â
He breathes in through his teeth, shaking his head. âThen I guess you'll have to work it off.â
You try not to be too timid as you press your fingertips to his chest, guiding him back so he's sitting up. You move onto your knees, pulling your arms around his shoulders and relishing his hands on your waist.
âThat shouldn't be too hard,â you mutter. You are timid when you lean into him, testing the air between you to make sure it's okay that you kiss him.
When you still haven't made any contact, he nudges your nose with his. âCâmon,â he goads, his lips sticky when he speaks with all the familiar affection between you.
Your lip quirks a bit at his humor. You kiss him, biting his top lip just to confuse him. He laughs and you consider your goal achieved. You run a hand down the center of his bare chest, pausing at the base of his belly to tease the light happy trail disappearing into his sweatpants.
You slip your hand just underneath the waistband of his pants, tickling his skin as your fingers brush the base of his length hiding poorly behind the fabric. He flinches slightly from your touch, chuckling lightly as his hand comes to cup your elbow.
âDid I hurt you?â you ask suddenly, slightly startled by his reaction.
He shakes his head. âNo, mama. You just surprised me.â
âOkay,â you murmur, your timid fingers slowly attempting to try again. But he just shakes his head.
âThis isnât for me. This is for you,â he says, pulling back enough to see you.
âYeah, but,â you lick your bottom lip, âI wanna make sure youâre enjoying yourself, too.â
He licks his own lips as if to remind you that they were just wrapped around your sensitive cunt. âTrust me, I am thoroughly enjoying myself, mama.â
Your finger hooks around the waistband of his sweatpants, a slight pout arising from your face. âCan you take âem off, at least?â
His hands are already pulling them down his legs as he teases you. âSo needy.â
You roll your eyes. âShut the fuck up.â Your response falls short. As soon as the last word leaves your mouth, his cock springs from its loose confines and reveals itself.
You flush at the sight of him. Youâre not a cock-hungry whore or anythingâbut if you were one, you think his dick would be a perfect subject for it. Itâs not like he has this perfect cock that was hand-crafted by the gods or anything. But you think itâs safe to say that calling Eddie a freak is a valid name.
Heâs long, freakishly so. Heâs got a nice girth to him, you think, but you donât know if heâs going all the way inâbut, of course, you could be exaggerating. Youâve seen two cocks in your entire life, and Eddieâs is one of them and, admittedly, the better of the two. He will definitely reach.
âWhat the fuck, Eddie?â you look up at him.
âWhat?â His face falls slightly, his eyes widening just a bit as he wonders if your comment was good or bad. âWhatâs wrong?â
âHow the hell do you fit that thing in your pants?â You shake your head. âLike, what the fuck is wrong with you?â
He just shrugs, but heâs a little relieved that youâre just being his asshole and not just some asshole. âI think youâre being a little dramatic.â
âHow is it supposed to fit inside of me? What is that, like a foot long?â
He rolls his eyes. âIâm flatteredâreally, I amâbut it, most definitely, is not a foot.â He looks down at the erection between his legs. The tip is flushed, and it kind of looks like it hurts. âSeven and a half.â
âWhat the fuck?â you whisper under your breath. You reach down, brushing your fingers over the tip. He gasps through his teeth, and you watch the way it kicks up in response. âSorry,â you tell him, ignoring the amusement in your chest. It reminds you of a spring, the comedic kind that goes âboing!â.
âSâokay,â he murmurs. He lifts a hand to your cheek, brushing his thumb over the rise of it as he asks gently and genuinely, âYou still wanna go?â
You nod, âYeah. That monster isnât gonna scare me away.â
He rolls his eyes. âItâs not that big.â
You shrug. âYou know, I heard Harringtonâs like that big, nine inches.â You make a circle with your hand, moving it up and down like youâre jerking it off. âYou think itâs true?â You bob your brows up and down.
He shakes his head, running a hand down his face as he snickers at you. âI doubt it. He could be one or the other, but both seem a little excessive. Have you seen how tight his pants are?â
âYeah⌠you might be right.â
âWe gonna talk about dicks, or are we gonna fuck?â
You sigh, shrugging like itâs nothing as you look back at him. âIÂ guess, weâll fuck.â
He smiles, pulling you closer to him. âWell, then, câmon, mama.â
You actually giggle, surprising him as you bring a leg to wrap around his waist, pulling the other up to follow suit. He kisses you, his hands supporting your thighs as his dick nuzzles between the both of you, kept warm and wet by the way your folds sit against him as it pushes into his lower belly.
Eddie reaches between your bodies, taking his weeping cock in his hand and stroking himself a couple times with little wavers of breath. You watch some precum spill from his tip, sliding down the bottom.
âYou want me to use a condom?â he asks.
You swallow thickly, thinking quickly before shaking your head. âPill.â
He shrugs. âDoesnât mean I shouldnât.â
Youâre touched by his consideration but you donât really want to put into words how much you actually want to feel him inside of you. You shake your head again, kissing him quickly to soften the slight awkwardness in your chest. âI donât want you to use a condom, Eddie.â You almost whisper it, but he understands.
âOkay, mama,â he whispers back. He kisses you, lifting you up from his lap just enough to tuck the head of his cock at your soaked folds. âYou ready?â You nod. âDonât hold your breath. Breathing makes it feel better.â You nod again.
âReady.â
You try not to hold his breath as he slowly lowers you down onto his lap, splitting you on his cock as you take him inch by inch. At one point, youâre sure he canât go any further as you feel him seated somewhere deep inside you. And heâs right, it feels really nice.
Your breath is so light and airy when you sigh against his lips, holding him tight as you bury your face in his shoulder. âFuck,â you huff, hearing his own breaths pass heavily in your ear.
âFuck,â he echoes. âJesus, youâre squeezinâ me, mama.â
You donât know how you feel about the way this makes you feel, the way it makes you act. Your voice gets sort of whiny, breathy, this little thing in his ear that makes his cock twitch slightly inside of you. âCanât help it,â you sigh. âSo fuckinâ deep.â
He nods, his hands steady and firm at your backside and your arms tight around his neck. âI wonât move until you tell me to.â
You just nod, knowing heâs not going to move until you give him an explicit âyesâ. Itâs a lot to adjust to. He sits really deep inside of you, and heâs pressing against a spot that makes you delirious with just the pressure the head of his cock puts on it. But when you canât take the suspense anymore and youâre too excited to see how it would feel, you nod again.
âIâm ready.â
âYou sure?â
âYeah.â
âOkay,â he says. âIâll go slow.â
You nod.
Holding your waist, Eddie begins to thrust his hips up into you. He does as he says and moves slowly, guiding your body in his lap so you grind down on him. A whine falls from your lips at the feeling, and you almost immediately seek out that pleasure with the eager roll of your hips into him.
âNot too fast, not too fast,â he hisses, lightly patting your hip.
You nod into his shoulder, feeling his hands roaming. His arm wraps around your waist, his other arm comes up to hook over your shoulder. He keeps thrusting, moving so slowly and filling you so deep. Following his commands, you roll your hips slowly into him, meeting each of his own movements in a building rhythm.
There's an ebb and flow in the way that you move together. Tiny whimpers fall from your lips, and his heavy breaths join them.
Somewhere along the way, it's not enough. Your insistent hips grind into him in search of more. He feels it in the way you breathe, the way you move, the way you hold him just a little tighter.
âEddie,â you huff. âCâmon, I need more. Please.â
The way you say it is a little more whiny, a little needier than you intended. It feeds his ego, and he can't help but to lose some of his reassuring kindness. He starts making fun of you because he likes making fun of you, and he thinks that you'll probably eat that shit up.
âMore?â His grip on you tightens just a bit. His thrusts become a little jerky, searching the same intensity you are. âYou need more, mama?â
âEddie,â you groan.
He pulls your face from his shoulder in order to look at you better. âYou sound so whiny, baby. Like a little bitch.â
You roll your eyes because he's Eddie, and he calls you a little bitch anyway. Grinding in his lap, you tangle your fingers in his hair and tug. A strangled grunt comes out, and you smirk devilishly. âSo do you.â
âHar, har,â he says.
âIf this is all you can do, just tell me. It's okay if you're a one-pump-chump.â
You like vexing him. He likes when you vex him. But he also likes proving you wrong because he may be doing you a favor, but he can't let you go about thinking he can't fuck.
âFuck you,â he scoffs. Then he's pushing you onto your back and wrapping your legs back around his waist, slipping out in the process. He towers over you like some wolf, bushy hair accommodating as his necklace swoops down to brush your skin.
âIf you want me to stop, tell me to stop,â he says. âYes?â
âYes.â
âGood.â
He guides himself back into you, embedding himself within you until you're full. One of his hands grips your hip while the other takes a hold of the headboard. It's this metal thing that squeaks whenever you move. So when he's thrusting into you with a vigor that has grown in the past couple of moments, it's accompanied by the constant whine of the metal. It's sort of funny.
His hips roll into you, waves of pleasure coming with each one. His hand cradles your neck, and you lean into him as he latches onto the sensitive skin of your throat, teeth scraping and tongue licking up the taste of your skin.
One of your legs comes up to wrap around his waist, and you moan as you pull him in deeper. His pace builds into this steady, needy kind of rhythm. The harder he thrusts, the more you clench, and the harder it is for him to stifle his grunts.
But you like the sounds he makes. Sometimes they're these deep groans that rumble in his chest like thunder. Sometimes they're these weak moans that you're pretty sure is him trying not to whimper. And you like the moans so much that you card your fingers through his hair and tug on a chunk of it as his head pulls back. His muscles flex, and his lips part. You watch his eyes flutter, this shocked whimper comes out of him.
âYou did that on purpose,â his word and your moan mix together with the thrust of his hips.
âAhâŚhaha,â you gasp, nodding a little. âYes, IâOh, yes, I did.â
âWhat, are you a top or something?â he wonders, raising a brow.
You shrug, your mind a little blurry with the feeling of his cock shoved inside of you. âDunno.â
He's interested enough to find out.
Once again, you're being moved around. You whimper when he pulls out of you just to sit you up again. Eddie moves to the head of the bed and pulls you back into his lap. âLet's find out.â
You take him in your hand, lining him up with your waiting lips. As you slowly sink back down onto him, your eyes flutter shut as you feel the way he fills you. And it only gets better from there as you slowly take him farther inside until heâs buried so deep that you can feel him pressing somewhere inside of you that you canât quite pinpoint.
Youâre fully seated on him now, eyes squeezed shut as you adjust to the feeling. Your hands come to rest on his chest, the fingers of your right hand brushing over the demon head on his pec. When you roll your hips and feel the way it presses inside of you, youâre immediately done for.
Your rhythm isnât steady for a while. You move purely out of an urge to quell this need in the pit of your stomach. As you fuck yourself on his cock, Eddieâs hands hold your waist tightly just to have something to hold onto. You move quickly and without remorse, your head thrown back in pleasure as your hips lift up just to smack down on his lap once again.
For a while, you just grind on him, focusing on that deep spot that shoots electricity through your thighs. This pitiful sound flutters out of you, like a shudder running down your spine as your hands move to cup the back of his neck in your palms. His name falls from your lips with a plea, itâs a weak sound that would bring him to his knees if he wasnât already on his back.
âFuck, mama,â he huffs. âKeep going, just like that.â
His hands caress your skin, roaming your body underneath his shirt still draped over you. He hikes it up farther and farther until he feels your warm breasts. âCan I take this off?â he asks. You just nod, muttering an âmhmâ as you keep bouncing with closed eyes. He pulls the shirt over your head, revealing your bouncing breasts to him as he takes a hold of them with greedy hands. He palms them, kneading them like he would dough. You just keep moaning as he builds you up.
You donât mean to, but in an attempt to respond, the only thing that comes out of your mouth is a repetitive âyes, yes, yesâ that echoes in the room alongside his own loud, open-mouthed breaths. âShit, baby. Doinâ so good fâme.â
That makes you whimper, moving almost ruthlessly just to satisfy the rising need in your belly. âFuck, I need cum, baby,â you whisper, repeating that again and again with each little roll. Eddie wastes no time in bringing his large hand to rest at the juncture of your thigh and your hip, his thumb swirling insistent circles into your clit. You gasp at the feeling, which is way more electric than you thought itâd be.
It becomes a little difficult to think. Visions of Eddie and his hands and your bodies, and the sounds of your slick and skin, and the smell of sex and body wash and cigarettes cloud your mind. Youâre on the verge of tipping over the edge, you can feel your fingertips tingling with the wild sensations of your pleasure, so, so close to you nowâ
Eddie pulls you up from his lap, unsheathing your cunt from him. Your moans and your breaths are interrupted, and this weak cry tumbles from your tongue. He grunts, laying his head back and making this âhmphâ sound.
You blindly reach for his cock, trying to guide him back inside of you before heâs lightly smacking your hand away. âWait, mama, wait.â
âEddie,â you whine, thoroughly unhappy with the way the growing waves in your belly had begun to retreat. âPlease.â You could honestly cry. It had felt so goodâyou had felt so good, and heâd taken it all away in a matter of a second.
âWhat the fuck, dumbass?â you huff, looking at him with eyes unfocused with frustration and face flushed with lust.
âYouâre so mean,â he says, almost as put off by the failed release as you.
âI was so close.â
âI know.â He sits up a little more, moving you off his lap. Your arousal is coating both of you, your thighs are sticky with it, his lap and his cock is glistening in the dim golden light. âThatâs called edging.â
âI know what the fuck edging is. Why are we doing it?â
He laughs at your frustration, and you want to hit him. âRelax, weâre not done yet.â
âWell, hurry up,â you whine, already trying to throw your leg back over his legs. He just swats you away again.
âTurn around.â You would argue, but youâre too horny. So, instead, you turn around so your back is facing him. His hand spreads out along your back, and you nearly squeal when he pushes you down so your face is pushing into his covers. He pulls you up so your ass is in the air, grabbing one of your cheeks and squeezing.
âYou still good?â Heâs checking up, trying to be nice even though he was just the cruelest he couldâve been.
âYes, please.â He likes you like this, honestly. Itâs fun to see you so needy. Itâs just something he can hold over your head.
He lightly smacks your ass, not enough to hurt but enough for your hips to jerk at the unexpected sensation. Immediately, he smoothes the skin with the palm of his hand and hums. He nudges your legs apart, spreading you open for him just enough as he pumps his cock in his hand.
âJust testing out some positions,â he says simply before heâs guiding himself back inside of you. Itâs a welcome feeling, one youâre beginning to become accustomed to. Once heâs fully inside, he bottoms out with a heavy sigh. âItâs good to see which ones you like.â
âI like when Iâm being fuââ
Youâre cut off when his hips thrust into you, an almost cruel snap that makes this filthy smacking sound. You moan, literally feeling yourself melting into the bed as one of his hands comes to fist the sheets by your head. The other holds your waist tight, keeping you steady as he begins to fuck into you.
You really like this position. Being on top of him was so, so nice, but being underneath him is a feeling that makes your brain numb. You wrap your hand around his wrist as your other curls in the bedsheets, mewling feebly with every snap of his hips.
Itâs dizzying, having him take you like this. Thereâs a light sheen of sweat coating your skin, encouraged by the warm air straying in through the slightly opened window. His breath is heavy, and you can hear him grunting every time his hips meet your ass. âDo you like this one?â he huffs, moving his hand to wrap lightly around your neck. He pulls you up from the covers so you can speak, your bodies bumping back and forth in the dance youâve created.
Youâre being kept steady only by your hand on the bed, gripping the sheets tightly. âYes, Eddie,â you moan. You like saying his name, especially when you feel so good. Itâs like a wave through your skin. It falls off your tongue with ease. âThat feels good.â
Heâs happy youâre happy. He keeps it up, losing his breath the longer he goes as your loud ones mix together in the heavy air of his bedroom.
Youâre so glad Wayne isnât home because thereâs no way you wouldâve been able to keep quiet. You respect that man too much to put him through this. The loud squealing of the bed certainly doesnât help.
You turn your head to his arm, pressing your nose to his wrist to smell him. He smells like he always does, cigarettes and cheap cologne, like leather and maybe a bit of metal. But under that, you can still smell it. Green apple.
You kiss his wrist, and something snaps in him. For the hundredth time, Eddie pulls out of you and moves you back onto your back. Once again, youâre looking up at him as he locks you in. Thereâs a wild look in his eyes that makes you breathless, and when heâs pushing into you again, you moan.
âRight there,â you mutter incoherently when he fucks into you. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him in closer as you keep your legs spread wide. âYes, fuck, right there.â
Eddie focuses on that spot, punching the head of his cock into it over and over again and watching the way your eyes roll, your head falling back into the sheets and your hands tightening around his arms. He loves the way your lips part, your soft lips split open by the feeling of him. He bends down and kisses the exposed expanse of your throat, sucking on the skin and nibbling hickeys into your skin.
When he pulls away from your neck with a light smack, you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down so your bodies are pressed flat together, skin to skin. He ruts into you, pressing his forehead against yours as you both breathe the otherâs air. Itâs all heat and lust and something else, something hot and heavy.
âI needa cum, Eddie,â you mumble, âFor real this time.â You manage to get it out with a minimal amount of stuttering. Youâre surprised you were even able to put the sass in it that you managed. Heâs made such a mess of you.
His thumb finds your clit once more, and heâs circling the bud with a fervent kind of eagerness. âKeep breathing for me, mama. Breathe in deep.â You do as he says, so much so that you get a little dizzy as the air comes and goes. You buck your hips up into his thumb, your whimper getting higher and higher with each swirl.
You feel a knot curling in your belly, followed by a startling heat. âEddie,â it comes out almost as a question. Youâre addicted to the way his name feels in your mouth. You repeat it over and over, squirming and breathing and tightening your hold on him. He keeps fucking into you, focusing on that spot that makes you see stars as he just thrusts faster until his hips are moving in short, hard spurts.
When the dam breaks, it's with a slack-jawed gasp and a tight embrace. Your whole body tenses, like a coil tightening. It gets hot and hotter and hottest until a band snaps and you're trembling. You moan his name like a cry for help, holding his face between your hands and marveling at the softness of his skin. A brilliant shudder makes its way through your body, the quivering of your limbs making it impossible not to whimper and whine at each little shake.
Eddie helps you through all of it, keeping his in and out pace until it becomes unsteady with the fluttering of your pussy around his cock. Your mouth latch onto one another, more heat and lust and longing to fill the space between you as you recover with a dizzying head and buzzing veins. Loud and sloppy smacks accompany the ones coming from your hips, still meeting with the last sparks of your orgasm and the drive for his own.
His steady thrusts are unsteady now, just tiny little pumps of his cock inside of you as his breaths build into gasps just as small. Youâre already coming down from your high, and your whines are sounding a little different now as you tilt your head to the side and hold onto his arm, the punch of his cock bordering on an overstimulated feeling after trying to recover from the large crash of your orgasm.
âEddie,â you whimper, one hand still splayed across his cheek.
He pulls out of you suddenly, peeling his hand off of you to grab his cock. He tugs harshly at it, bucking his hips into his hand until heâs spilling out over your belly in warm spurts, these shuddered moans coming with it. âOh, fuck, mama,â he whimpers in that sticky tone, burying his face in the crook of your neck as the last ropes of cum coat your skin.
There are a few moments where thereâs complete silenceâsave for the sound of a car here and there, or a dog barking in the distance, or some people laughing even farther away, or your heavy breaths huffing between you two. Your fingertips caress the skin of his cheeks, drawing patterns into his face as he simply enjoys it with closed eyes and settling breaths.
When Eddie sits up, he takes your hand to pull you up with him. You both sit on his bed, looking down at your bodies now sticky with his cum, though his isnât the only fluid sticking to your skin. Your thighs make a wet sound whenever you move.
You run a hand down your face, sighing heavily. âJesus Christ,â you mutter, popping your toes. Eddie watches you stretch your arms over your head, enjoying the way your tits look when you do.
âSo I did good?â
You look back at him to see the way he watches you, his brows bouncing with a sly grin on his face. You roll your eyes, not looking at him as you chuckle. âYes, Eddie, you did good.â
He smiles wide.
Eddie stands from the bed, and you watch the way he sort of limps from his room. You canât help your grin at the sight. At least that means you did good, too.
Eddie returns with a wet cloth in his hands, which he uses to clean you up first, wiping away all of your slick and his cum and even some of the saliva from your neck left behind by his sloppy kisses. He takes care in the way he does it, paying such close attention to you to ensure youâre just as clean and comfortable as he wants you to be.
When heâs done with you, he wraps his hand gently around your throat and pulls you in for another kiss. You lean into it. His kiss is like air in your lungs, and you sigh gently. Then he disappears again and comes back clean (and still deliciously nakedâyou enjoy the sight of his chain link tattoo curling around his upper thigh). He rustles through his drawers, pulling out another shirt, this one clean and not somewhere on the floor.
âYouâre staying over, right?â he asks, as casual as ever as if he hadnât just cum all over your stomach.
And, just as casually, you nod and turn onto your stomach to stretch again. âMhm.â He tosses the shirt at you. It lands on your head, and you donât move to put it on just yet. He picks up his sweatpants from the floor and puts them back on.
Eddie nudges you to the side so he can pull the covers back, and thatâs when you sit up to put on his shirt. You stand, padding across his tiny room to turn off the lamp on his dresser, shrouding the room in relative darkness. When you climb back into the bed, you latch yourself onto his back and hold him to your chest. Heâs really warm, and it feels nice to be this close.
Sometimes you wonder if you and Eddie are supposed to date. Thereâs nothing casual about your friendship, and there never really has been (especially not now). But you think that having Eddie as your best friend, perhaps just under unconventional circumstances, is the best thing there is. If you ever decide to get together, thatâll be a moment for a time in the (relative) distance.
For now, you just rest your ear against his back and listen to his heartbeat. âEddie,â you mumble, bringing your leg up to rest over his body like he isnât bigger than you.
âYeah?â
âThanks.â
Thereâs a huff that you think is him chuckling. He pulls a hand up and pats yours a couple light times. âAnytime, mama.â Thereâs some silence. âI love you.â
You smile. You love your best friend Eddie.
âI love you, too. Gânight.â He hums back at you.
Stranger Things taglist: @activebliss @queermaxwooo @life-on-needs @killerqueen-ofwillowgreen @emmalee-01 @sw34ter-w34ther @gublur @allofmaris @redwineandnicotine @the-cryptid @katsukis1wife @chaoticcancer @papichulo120627 @emistrash @jjmaybankswifes-blog @thegr8estpuff @lover-of-books-and-tea @xxhanililoxx @quickslvxrr Eddie the Banished taglist: @eddiiiieeee @hb8301 @queermaxwooo @lovemegood @munsaniac @digital-charlie @eiriancrow @littleblondesoprano @alexxavicry @samz31 @sparkletash @fandomgirl17 @marjoriea13 @akiratoro420 @mewchiili @mischieftom Tag yourself here...
#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x reader smut#eddie munson fanfiction#stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#reader insert#female reader
2K notes
¡
View notes
Text
âš á(á ´ Ë)੠⡠⦠princess going digital! âĄ
bsf!jj followed you on all of your social media accounts. well, he thought he did. ę°á˘. .á˘ęą ๨ŕ§â Ë・â
your instagram was adorable and demure. photo dumps and stories of your daily iced coffee in your little manicured hand. you had pinterest boards too â jj had seen you scrolling through endless pictures of clothes on his bed and asked questions. you helped him make his own account so he could find new ideas on how to customise his board. he hasnât opened the app since, but it seemed like it made you happy so he couldnât find it in himself to delete it off his lockscreen.
he followed you on twitter too. he knew he did because he saw your tweets all up and down his timeline when he would be scrolling late at night trying to find porn. tweets about the cashier that was rude to you, or about that one song you just canât get out your head.
he thought heâd covered all bases with you. he liked to be in tune with everything you were doing â and maybe that was wrong for a best friend to want, but the two of you were close! it only felt right. it may also have something to do with the fact heâs head over heels for you.
you were laying on your front on his bed. contrasting so sweetly against the boyishness of his room with your cute little hello kitty shirt and denim skirt â epitome of girly girl in such an unfitting space. it made him smile, and he nearly forgot to tune into what you were saying.
you were ranting about your mother again, the woman making it her mission to constantly bring you down.
âseriously jayj, if you saw the way she spoke to me...â you mutter with a frowny little pout as your fingers tap away at the screen, assumably responding to a text.
âi have seen the way she speaks to you. the lady is a nut job, no offence.â jj leans back slightly, tossing a balled up pair of socks from his laundry in the air and catching it.
âher texts are even worse.â you huff.
âsâalright. iâll be your mommy.â he quips as youâre distracted by pulling up the correct screen.
âjj.â you tsk before turning your phone around. âlook!â you whine, and he knows heâs meant to be looking at the texts displayed infront of him. but with undiagnosed adhd, jj couldnât help but find his focus on the notification sliding down at the top of the screen. the twitter icon, notifying someone reposted your tweet â however, it was accompanied with another username heâd never seen before. an account ran by you assumably, that he no idea about.
âhuh⌠yeah, no yeah. sheâs batshit.â jj shakes himself off as he takes mental note of the username, leaning back and hoping you donât ask any questions knowing he didnât read the texts at all. you seem none the wiser, continuing to complain and go about your business. that evening, itâs time for you to head home. jj squeezes you at the doorway, cups your cheek and tells you that if your mom is giving you grief, you can come right on back. it seemed to comfort the pout off your face, and you skip off.
now itâs time to sate his curiosity.
when jj gets into bed that night, he types the username into twitter. it takes a few tries to get the specific spelling right, as it had been a few hours and slipped his mind â but finally, the account filled his screen.
your age is attached to the account, yet no name. there was definitely a sense of anonymityâ to the point where you hadnât even told him about it. he considered doing the right thing and clicking off â but jj didnât always do the right thing, and this was one of those times. the first thing he notices is how clearly you the account is. the header, the profile picture â even the font in your bio was so⌠you. all curlicues and girly and pink â it was undeniably his best friend.
and then he scrolls.
âwant my best friend 2 hold me down n use me so bad :(â a tweet from 3 days ago. the blonde sits up in bed, blinking at the screen. that was him, right? eagerly, he continues his scrolling â finding endless tweets about your sexual desires, fantasies, anecdotes about jj himself. it didnât take much longer of scrolling until he comes across a video â his face heating and crotch stiffening at the familiarity of it all. it was your bedroom, and your face was cropped out. that one pair of pink panties he occasionally caught peeks of beneath your skirt hang off the ankle of your knee high clad legs, pretty pussy on display, glistening as you roll your hips, desperately fucking a pillow.
âgod⌠damn.â he breathes, hand coming up to rub his chest as if to attempt to still his quick-beating heart. he stuffs a tongue in his cheek, part of him wanted to be mad that you were letting strangers on the internet see you like this before he got to. it was a childish type of jealousy that made his hands sweat and the back of his neck all prickly.
a bird squawks outside his window, causing the maybank boy to jump out of his skin like he was about to be caught watching his best friend get herself off. he juggles the phone, quickly checking the screen to make sure he hadnât accidentally liked any posts. he hadnât, and he exhalesâ but with the commotion, heâd accidentally refreshed the page. the loading wheel disappears with a pop, and a new tweet displays itself from three minutes prior.
âmy bsf looks after me so good :( he shld make me feel btter by letting me cum on his fingers <3â
it would be stupid to make a move. he would be potentially destroying a friendship, and on top of that â you could be mad at him for snooping. it was kind of a betrayal of trust after all, similar to if heâd read your diary. but his dick was hard and had taken over the steering wheel that operates his brain â and like he always said, stupid things had great outcomes all the time.
so with a clammy hand, he calls you.
âwhats up jayj? did i leave something at your place again?â you croak, sounding all sleepy and cute. god, he couldnât believe heâd waited so long.
âuh⌠so, like â imma cut to the chase, with everything goinâ on at your place, i donât love the idea of you stayinâ there tonight. iâm cominâ to get you. youâre stayinâ here.â he makes up a quick excuse and feels kind of bad about it. his own desire toward you being masked as genuine concern for a friend. he expects some questioning, maybe even some resistanceâ but you perk up instantly.
âokay!â
and thatâs exactly how you end up cradled in his lap with the rings at his knuckles tickling your opening from how deep in your greedy, drooling pussy they were.
âhmmâ mmâhuhââ youâre whining, all incoherent and fucked out with your cheek smushed against him, only two orgasms in. jj is grinning ear to ear, like some kind of sicko â never in his life thinking youâd want him like this. he almost wished heâd kept up the act for longer, preyed on your twitter account for longer to see what else youâd say, but he couldnât help himself. heâd wanted you since you met in high school, and he was hungry.
âwhatâd i tell ya about not asking for things? couldâve just told me dude, i literally wanted this more than you.â he thinks out loud and you groan, pulling yourself up face to face with the handsome blonde.
âdonât call me dude when your fingers are nâside me!â you slur, lip all puffy and pouted. he smirks, unable to stop himself from finding amusement in your neediness and tilts his head a little so he was breathing right into your mouth.
âiâm sorry thatâs my bad. baby.â he corrects himself, before pressing his lips to yours. that was much better.
#trying out giving my drabbles titles ^_^#also ijbol at me refusing to call twitter XâŚâŚ#bsf!jj#jj maybank prompt#gooner!reader ????
1K notes
¡
View notes
Text
4
edit: 4 was NOT supposed to be there i dont know how it happened
Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.
I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.
I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.
#yeah. I have pretty severe adhd and along with impacting my focus and things#i have really bad memeory problems because of it. medication doesn't even help that. Like you could tell me something thats really fucking#important or spill out feelings to be and id probably forget it all in the span of a few hours to a day.#i forget to eat. I forget to brush my teeth. i forget to shower. i forget to drink water. i forget to clean things.#i also want to add that. I can have major meltdowns because of my adhd. And I bet other people have that happen too#I dont know about other people but#i would NOT want to be avoided or treated badly in general because of a meltdown. There's at least a few other people who can agree with th#I know im not the only one. So please#dont ridicule people with adhd for not keeping their house clean or forgetting something you said#and don't be a bitch because someone had a meltdown they couldn't control#this isnt me saying âohhh when someone does ____ in a meltdown they still shouldnt have consequencesââ! no.#i fully believes in taking responsibility for your actions#but you guys also need to remember that we arent in the right mind AT ALL during that. i know I can be extremely unpredictable and sometime#violent towards myself or others during the breakdowns#yes I am aware that is not ok.#i will take consequences for my actions#but if you're just going to tell me to stop doing shit for attention or to âstop crying its already happenedâ#stay the fuck away from me.#(btw i had a worker at a mental hospital do that to me. He also got angry at me and snatched my clothes away from me when i was trying to#get them in the dryer because i was acting confused and was taking too long#what was actually happening was that i was stuck trying to process all the instructions he gave in like less than a minute.#i then had a meltdown after he snatched the clothes away from me. I didnt get violent but i was screaming. not at anyone#just screaming because of how distressed i felt in the moment over that. I felt like i wasnt understood#it felt like nobody even gives me a chance before i get stopped for âbeing too slowâ.#because yes#i can take a while to process things sometimes.#but that doesnt give anyone the right to be an asshole to me in(at least I'd thnk so)#so along with not ridiculing someone for not having their help clean#not brushing their teeth or not drinking enough water#dont be an asshole because someone with adhd had a meltdown and also be patient with them.
15K notes
¡
View notes
Text
Literary Illusions
âItâs ironic,â Palpatine said, shaking his head. âHe could save others from death, but not himself.â
Anakin frowned.
âAnd this is something the Jedi wouldnât have told me?â he asked.
âOf course not,â Palpatine replied. âIs it a story youâve heard?â
âWell, yes,â Anakin said. âJust now, from you. But not before then⌠and that surprises me, Chancellor.â
Palpatine shrugged. âI think youâll find, Anakin, that the Jedi have not been telling you everything.â
âMaybe not, but⌠honestly, that sounds like exactly the kind of thing theyâd tell me,â Anakin said.
Palpatine frowned.
â...what?â he asked.
âYou know,â Anakin said. âSome Sith Lord works out how to bring people back to life from the dead, but his apprentice kills him and doesnât bring him back to life because the Sith are inherently self destructive. If the two of them had worked together and been able to trust one another, theyâd have been immortal.â
He shrugged. âItâs a good illustration of the inherently self destructive nature of the Dark Side, and itâs the dichotomy of how the Dark Side leads you to seek power in order to achieve goals that you then discard as irrelevant, because theyâre not directly related to gaining power⌠hold on a second.â
Palpatine was a little distracted by trying to avoid mentally kicking himself, so it took him somewhat more than a second to notice what Anakin was doing.
â...Anakin?â he said. âAre you getting your comlink out?â
âYeah,â Anakin replied. âGoing to text Obi-Wan, ask him what he thinks of the story. Maybe thereâs some kind of detail I missed which makes it less of a good illustration of the different worldviews and mindsets of the Jedi and the Sith.â
The Knight shrugged, his thumbs tapping away at his comlink. âHe probably knows it, he knows all of the old stories.â
Palpatine blinked several times.
â...donât,â he said, then very discreetly scrambled for a reason why. âItâs the middle of a performance. We donât want to interrupt them.â
âYeah, yeah, itâs on silent,â Anakin replied, with a shrug. âOr vibrate. Did I put it on vibrate⌠hang on, Chancellor, Iâll make sure itâs on silentâŚâ
He turned the comlink over, then a loud bwing sounded.
âOh, right, I forgot to set it to do not disturb mode,â Anakin said. âHang on⌠uh⌠yeah, there we go, I forgot I added all these custom modes. Iâve been missing a lot of sleep lately.â
âPerhaps-â Palpatine began, but Anakin spoke over him.
âHuh,â he said. âHe says heâs never heard of it either. Wants to know where I heard about it, it looks like heâs really interested⌠or maybe heâs trying to tell me about a death stick vendor, heâs terrible with multiglyphs and he thinks heâs good at them.â
Anakin glanced at the Chancellor, hoping for some solidarity, then visibly noticed that the Chancellor was several decades older than him and abandoned that.
âIs there a book I can get the whole story from?â he asked, instead. âObi-Wan is better at nuances, like I say.â
âThat is not the point,â Palpatine said, trying not to get visibly angry. âThe point is that there is a way to save your loved ones!â
âMaybe there used to be, but not any more,â Anakin shrugged. âLike you said, this was a Sith thing and the Sith are all dead. Well, unless General Grievous is a Sith who knows how to heal people, but I doubt it given how much he got hurt, and Iâm not sure Dooku knew it either⌠hey, if this story needs to be publicized more then maybe we could have them do a play of that instead?â
Palpatine blinked several times, as he tried to keep up with a Jedi with possible undiagnosed ADHD and found himself discovering a lack of talent for podracing.
âWhat?â he asked.
âYou know, a play,â Anakin explained. âDramatic betrayals, lost loved ones, it would probably do numbers. Itâd be better than this, anyway.â
He waved his hand at the ongoing performance of Squid Lake.
â...what is wrong with Squid Lake?â Palpatine said, before reflecting that that had really been a stupid question for him to ask and that he should have asked a much better one.
âWell, uh,â Anakin began, looking a bit abashed. âActually now I say it out loud this might be really culturally insensitive of me, but to me this play might as well be eighty minutes of people boasting about having enough water to swim in.â
âItâs a ballet,â Palpatine told him, now completely having lost control of the conversation.
âItâs just a less scary version of Sarlacc Pit,â Anakin went on. âSomeone tried to drown me in a lake once, because they thought I couldnât swim, but floating on sand is much harder, you barely have to do anything to escape a lake. You just float.â
Very belatedly, Anakin caught sight of Palpatineâs look of total befuddlement, and shrugged.
âWatto was a lot of things,â he said. âBut he had culture.â
Palpatineâs hands twitched, as he very seriously considered the idea of abandoning literal centuries of Sith planning and decades of personal political advancement in favour of stabbing Anakin somewhere it would hurt.
It was extraordinarily tempting.
â...hold on,â Anakin said, slowly. âI guess⌠the thing Iâd like most at the moment is for⌠and that means⌠this is literally one of those times when I could fall to the Dark Side because of it, like Darth Plagueis.â
He bestowed a grateful smile on Palpatine. âThanks, Chancellor! I need to make a call, I guess the ballet wonât mind.â
Palpatine was so thrown by the swerve that he couldnât think of a way to stop Anakin in the few seconds he had.
âLove?â Anakin said, into his commlink. âI⌠think we need to come clean, because otherwise Iâll fall to the Dark Side.â
Palpatineâs eye twitched.
548 notes
¡
View notes
Note
I once heard âHow long you put off getting tested for ADHD ought be part of the diagnostic criteriaâ (a joke). Five years for me, incredibly relatable.
I mean sometimes it's not even putting it off -- getting tested as an adult is a giant pain in the ass. I don't know what it is about testing clinics -- I suspect it's that there's an enormously high percentage of people in the psychiatric fields who are neurodiverse themselves and thus the entire discipline suffers from executive dysfunction -- but I could not get a clinic to call me back. The one clinic kept putting me through to the scheduling office who literally never answered their phone, promising I'd get a call in a day or two, and then nothing. That went on for months off and on. Finally I said "I've called you guys like five times, can I speak to a human being? Can you tell me when they actually answer their phone?" and just got a kind of baffled silence.
And of course, because I have the damn ADHD myself, it took me a while after calling to call again, or to find the phone number, or to source a new place, or what have you.
The place I finally did get tested I had to nudge twice to get scheduled, and after testing they eventually required a threat of legal action by the state before they'd send me the physical written copy of my diagnosis that I needed in order to get medication.
The struggle is extremely real. So like, yeah it took me a year or two from "Sam you know you have ADHD right? Tell me you knew that" to "I professionally diagnose you with ADHD". But I tend to discount that because a lot of it wasn't me, it was the fairly fucked up way we go about these things. :D
369 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Interrupt ~ Sturniolo Triplets
Summary: You agreed to film a car video with the guys but you couldn't help keep interrupting Nick due to your random thoughts, resulting in a fight.
Warnings: Shouting, swearing, ADHD!Reader, argument, angst with a happy ending.
~~~~~~~~~~
Today you had gone to hang out with your best friends, agreeing to film a car video with them. The guys knew about your ADHD and being an influencer yourself, you were open about it on the internet.
All four of you were sat in the car, eating McDonaldâs happily as Nick began to intro the video.
âHey look at this funny TikTok I found of a dog!â You shouted, cutting Nick off.
You showed the video to the boys, Nick sighing as you did. All of them loved you and helped where they could with your ADHD, but they werenât professionals.
Nick continued to talk about the video topic, however you kept interrupting him. It was like Chris but worse and Nick started to get angry.
âShh! Your on time out for a minute!â He shouted, setting a timer on his phone, as Chris and Matt both laughed.
You pouted as he kept taking, Matt and Chris taking as well and as soon as the time stopped, you talked again.
âI think that food looks disgusting! I mean dog food looks better!â You shouted, looking at the gross food.
"Okay, what about thi-" Nick began saying, but you interrupted him.
"Oh remember that TikTok of that guy who tried dog food!" You shouted.
"Shh!" Nick exclaimed.
"Go Nick." Matt said.
"I'm trying!" He responded loudly.
"Dude calm down." Chris said.
"No! I'm actually getting pissed off now. She's constantly interrupting me every second! Like at least you keep your mouth shut for a bit, Chris." Nick responded.
You frowned a bit, Matt already turning the camera off, knowing none of them wanted this footage to be recorded.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean too." You apologised.
"You always say that, but you keep doing it. Like shut the fuck up and let someone else speak! You can't blame your ADHD all the time!" He shouted.
You fell quiet and looked out the window, feeling your heart sink. You had forgotten to take your meds this morning, resulting in you being extra loud and bubbly. They guys didn't know this though.
"Let's carry on, shall we." You said quietly.
"I promise I won't interrupt you Nick, or Matt or Chris. I promise to keep my mouth shut." You added.
"No, kid. We're not filming right now. I'm driving home and we can continue filming another time." Matt said, starting the engine.
Chris had agreed while Nick remained quiet. He instantly regretted shouting at you, especially hearing your apology for no reason.
When you all returned home, you rushed to Matt's room, taking shelter in there, as Matt slapped Nick around the head.
"Hey woah!" He shouted.
"Dude you fucked up." Chris said.
"I just got angry alright, I shout at both of you sometimes." Nick responded.
"Yeah and we take it differently to her. Plus you know she can't help it with her ADHD, why use that against her." Matt said, disappointingly.
"I know and as soon as I said it, I felt bad." Nick admitted.
"Go tell her then, bro!" Chris called.
Nick came to Matt's room and as soon as he heard you crying, he felt his heart break instantly. He walked in coming over and hugging you tightly.
"I'm so sorry sweetheart, I didn't mean anything I said. I was just a bit angry and I know you can't help it I really do, I'm sorry and know it's a fucked up thing. I get if your angry at me." He apologised.
"Didn't have my meds. I forgot." You admitted.
"Kid, why didn't you tell us?" Nick asked softly.
"Scared you'd tell me off or something....but that already happened." You answered.
"I'm so sorry again. I really am." He apologised again.
"If your willing, how about Chris, Matt and I help you try and remember your meds? Come up with some sort of plan that we'll stick by too, then we help you out and something like this won't happy again." He suggested.
"You....You want to help me?" You asked in shock.
"Of course sweetheart. I'm so sorry again for shouting at you, I should have checked if you had your meds or needed time to regulate before jumping to being a asshole." He replied.
"Thank you." You said, giving him a small smile.
"Your welcome and I'm so sorry again." He said.
You smiled and hugged him, happy he apologised and knew he was going to do better to help you and make up for his mistake.
#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo triplets x reader#sturniolo triplets oneshot#sturniolo triplets fanfic#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo oneshot#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo oneshot#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo oneshot#nick sturniolo fanfic#nick sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#platonic#angst with a happy ending#fluff#fight#argument#adhd!reader#adhd
457 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Thinking about Wade's Adhd and rejection sensitivity. Getting upset about inconveniences he can't control even when not mentally small, just becoming irationally overly upset over things that don't really affect much.
How he's been talking about a certain sandwitch all day long. Since noon, throughout the entire mission, and now he's yapping about it again on the 6 block walk to said sandwitch joint ran by a small immigrant family.
He keeps talking about how great it is. Logan didn't have this place in his timeline, so Wade is ampled excited to show him. Logan jokes with him how he sounds more excited to eat this sub then he is to suck dick.
Wade, with the most serious face, goes, "I can get dick anytime. They're only open 4 days a week and only from 1 to 5."
Logan notes this in the back of his mind for the future.
Just as they get there, Wade is telling Logan that they used to be open 10-5 but their daughter went to college, so now they are on their own. How these people have been so kind to him and told him that they started this shop for their daughter specifically. To give her a good life, they've been working hard to send her to college since day one.
As they roll up to the door, Wade's face drops. All of the glee and joy from his body evaporates and immediately he's just staring at the sign.
"Sorry, we're closed. Come back -" and then a small plastic clock that shown when they opened again tomorrow at 1 pm.
They're too late.
"Oh... well, that sucks." Logan mutters, hands in his pockets as he watches Wade look so utterly disappointed that even he begins to feel bad for him.
He puts a hand on his shoulder. "We can always come again tomorrow."
"B-but I...i wanted.." He starts to tear up, quickly moving to wipe his eyes, sniffling and shaking his head. "It's fine... okay.. tomarrow." He whispers, not only feeling pathetic for being so upset over a sandwitch store being closed, but now they had to walk all the way back home.
"...are you okay?"
"Yeah.. it's fine.." But it's clearly not fine. He fully understands that they were late, and thats why they were closed. He's not angry at them. He's not angry at logan either. Not even himself, really. He must have miscalculated the time. A pure mistake.
But on the way home, it's very obvious that this is a big deal. He's quiet. Staring at the ground as he walks, biting his nails, wiping a tear once inawhile.
It makes Logan frown, uncomfortable with the silence, knowing his mind was no where near silent at the moment. He knew it was turmoil in there, a loud and pouting mess.
"....do you want to get something else?"
"...no..." He whispers.
Logan observes his body language, watching how his eyes kept flickering and filling with a tear every now and again. How distant he becomes and almost... hugs himself... at one point. He knows that this is a much different response from when small him throws a tantrum or sulks. He looks as if he genuienly didn't want to be upset but just... is. As if he couldn't stop his overwhelming emotions from flooding his mind.
He takes his hand. "...is it because you wanted to show me?"
"No.. I mean.. kinda? But I just... I really wanted it."
"We can get it tomarrow?"
"I know. I can't... its hard to explain."
Logan gives his hand a squeeze, talking quietly.
"... is it a safe food?"
Wade nods, wiping another tear on his sleeve. It was one of the few things he could eat without puking. But that still wasn't why he was upset.
"Do you want me to make you a sub?"
He shakes his head. "It won't be the same."
"Im sure I can make it the sa-"
"No.. I mean... yes?? Im sorry, Peanut. It's... It's an experience thing.. I've had it in my head all day to go and get a sub from them. And now I can't check it off until tomorrow."
Oooh.. that makes sense. He had a checklist in his head. Something he needed to finish before he could go to bed. And now that this wasn't finished? He would have a hard time moving forward.
When they arrive home, Wade goes to hide in the corner of their bedroom, quiet and trying to think of something else he could do to distract his mean brain from yelling at him.
'What are you doing? You were supposed to go to the shop! Stop being lazy and just go! Come on! We've been waiting all day for this! ... Logan said he would eat a sub with us...But we were so good today...' They said.
"I know.." he muttered, putting on his headphones, hoping to drown them out.
It doesn't work. Now hes just laying in bed, rotting and staring at the ceiling while tears travel down the sides of his face. He's breathing a bit shakily.
'Why are we crying? Its just a sandwitch. It has nothing to do with the sandwich dipshit!! Are we bad..? Did we misbehave? Is that why Logan dosn't want to eat with us? Hey! Hello?? Were kind of starving here. Haven't even had anything today since breakfast. Im not hungry anymore. You're really pathetic you know that? Almost 50 years old crying over a fucking sandwitch.'
They were so loud that even with the volume up so high, he didn't hear Logan come in.
"Wade?" He waves a hand in front of him, watching as he jumps, looking up with such puffy red eyes.
"W-what?"
He puts down a plate. It's a sub.
Looking at it, he glances between him and the food multiple times, watching as Logan takes it, taking a bite and sitting next to him.
He doesn't say a word.
Now, Wade is crying for a different reason, his eyes softening as he smiles, gently leaning into him. "... Can I have a bite?"
"Of my dick or my sub?" He asks, glancing to him with a teasing look painted on his raised brow.
Wade giggles, nuzzling into his shoulder as he takes a big breath, sighing. Glancing at the door, he mutters. "Do you see this shit? And you all call me the nasty one."
Logan only smirks, a bit too proudly. "Says the guy who once-"
"Woah woah woah peanut! That's enough. This episode is rated pg. Sorry about that. God, such a potty mouth." He snickers, sitting up as Logan lets him take a bite from the end of the sub, Lady and the Tramp style.
#despite watching him spill sauce all over his shirt#Logan smiled. Happy that he could at least help him eat.#God knows he needed it.#deadpool and wolverine#poolverine#logan howlett#deadpool#wade wilson#deadpool 3#wolverine#wade has cancer#Wade has Adhd#caregiver logan howlett#kid wade#tw voices#rejection sensitivity#adhd problems#finding home#finding home au#hurt comfort#ficlet#tw eating issues#He's not bulimic he just has cancer#safe foods#disordered eating mention#support small business#xmen#deadclaws#loganade#deadpool x wolverine
202 notes
¡
View notes