#yeah have this!!

[scribefindegil]

Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?

[liquidstar]

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

[velinxi]

Lord of the Rings fanart! I watched for the first time recently and loved it

[EDIT: Thanks for the love on this! Prints of this are also available on my shop for those interested!]

[lastoneout]

I just love it when video games let you do really stupid shit that kills you immediately. I love being like "oh this is a terrible idea" and being able to do it and then die. It's good game design.

[krysmcscience]

Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:

The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.

Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.

It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.

Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄

Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.

also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh

⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️

Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D

Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.

Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:

'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.

you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH

And, finally:

lmao this is shit

True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.

Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD

Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D

Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)

[crowkip]

yeehaw, baby!

[daydreamerwonderkid]

RIP to Bruce. Can't get a single night to himself smh

[valtsv]

will never understand the misogynistic inclination to pigeonhole every female character into the "exasperated sensible mom friend" role as if there's anything better than a woman so devoid of maternal instincts that she makes wire mother look soft. woman who rolls over and walks out onto the balcony to smoke a post-coital cigarette alone and leaves without a note or any kind of acknowledgement after sleeping with you because she can't stand the vulnerability of sleeping next to someone, or waking up beside them the following morning. woman whose idea of relaxing is abusing substances alone in a dark corner somewhere, and snarling and snapping at anyone who approaches her, regardless of intent. woman so emotionally unavailable she fails or refuses to notice that her lame ass partner is trying to push the divorce papers until they've taken the kids and left a heartfelt but scathing note pinned to the fridge. woman with more vices than genuine friends. woman whose expression stays blank and arms remain limply at her sides when you wrap her up in yours for a hug. woman without a gentle touch in her body, with nothing but rough edges and sharp angles.

[aristoteliancomplacency]

Guys.

Y’all.

I…

I just. I just… i have discovered something. And I have laughed too much. I have laughed every time I have tried to explain it to someone. I cannot get through this.

Look. Okay.

There are two things you need to know, here.

First: There’s a style of Greek pottery that was popular during the Hellenic period, for which most of the surviving examples are from southern Italy. We call them ‘fish plates’ because, well, they’re plates, and they’re decorated with fish (and other marine life).

Like this one, currently in the Met:

Or this one, currently in the Cleveland Museum of Art:

They’re very cool. We’re not 100% sure what they were for, because most of the surviving ones were found as grave goods, but that’s a different post.

The second thing you need to know is that when we (Classics/archaeology/whatever as a discipline) have a collection of artefacts, like vases, sculptures, paintings, etc. and we do not know the name of the artist, but we’re pretty sure one artist made X, Y and Z artefacts, we come up with a name for that artist. There are a whole bunch of things that could be the source for the name, e.g. where we found most of their work (The Dipylon Master) or the potter with whom they worked (the Amasis Painter), a favourite theme (The Athena Painter), the Museum that ended up with the most famous thing they did (The Berlin Painter) or a notable aspect of their style. Like, say, The Eyebrow Painter.

Guess what kind of pottery the Eyebrow Painter made?

[hell0mega]

people are drawing Steamboat Willie Mickey doing all this crazy shit and whatnot, but you could always do that. you can do that now, with current Mickey, just fine. it's fanart and it's legally protected. hell you could take Disney-drawn Mickey and put a caption about unions or whatever on it and it would still be protected under free speech and sometimes even parody law.

what is special about public domain is that you can SELL him. you could take a screenshot and sell it on a tshirt. you can use him to advertise your plumbing business. people have already uploaded and monetized the original film.

you could always have Mickey say what you want, but now you can profit off it.

[sunnbnn]

To befriend a STR user...

[cryptocism]

"just as I did, in 1983."

you'd never know my favourite parts of the show are the fucked up insane bits when my first instinct is to draw the cheesiest thing imaginable

[lxnarphase]

satoru hates hates hates condoms so much ever since you both agreed to stop using them. he can't stand the idea of wearing one while inside of you, it makes his heart hurt so bad.

key words: wearing one while inside of you

he never said that he wouldn't wear one while not inside you...so that's how he finds himself in this position, his arms tied behind his back as he sits on the edge of the bed, eyes rolled back as tears and drool drip down his face.

you're sitting behind him, your front pressed against his back while your chin is hooked over his shoulder. one hand is resting on his chest, rubbing soothing circles into his skin while your other hand is working his cock, cooing into his ear. a condom was on his dick, the tip slowly filling with cum as he shot another thick load into the latex.

"such a good boy, toruuu, you're filling it up so fast, who knew you had s' much cum in you, baby!"

he just whines as another thick spurt fills the condom, the amount of cum weighing it down, slowly causing the condom to pull off his cock. "'s-'s gonna fall off, baby," he tries to warn you, his hips bucking in overstimulation.

"yeah? y' better catch it, torubaby. don't want it to spill all over the ground, right? then you'd have to lick all of your cum up like a lil' slut," you coo into his ear, knowing he could easily get out of the pretty pink ribbon you tied around his arms, wanting him to look pretty instead of feeling completely trapped.

but he doesn't, he doesn't move, doesn't snap the bindings off, no, he just throws his head back at the thought of you pressing his face into the puddle of his cum and making him lick it up as you praise him for doing such a good job of being his own cumslut.

"ooh, toru...you came too hard, baby, it fell off...poor baby, need a lil' break before you clean up for me?"

[mangozic]

pre-distortion michael shelley but pointier and more shaped

[novakiart]

spideypool but it's a comedy of errors

[andi-o-geyser]

a full SAGA of chaos choices at the diner in the centre of your mind