#yeah I am active again on here
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my first love broke my heart into pieces...only to mend it back together later...
#yorusoi#soi fon#yoruichi shihouin#little bee and her cat#sunshine x sunshine protector#nostalgia hit me again#;___;#bleach#her soft spot#fanart#doodles#yeah I am active again on here#girlfriends#my lame art
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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happy mothers day to my first and best momma concept ever designed 💚💚
#i love her so much. i am so proud of her ;;;; she's my biggest favorite right now because of how much ive made for her...#jaide stone was nothing but a huge catalyst for exploring new things ive never thought id find joy in 💖#and waah hehe yes big rubebe 💖 my son is so big now! so handsome 🥺🥺🥺💚💚#i feel compelled to expand on the adult ruby concept but that will be for another day :3#anyways hello how is everyone? i know im a bit of a rollercoaster of activity right now on this blog specifically but yeah :]#ive been twirling around my alt blog so im doing okay#big irl news - ill be graduating from senior high very soon and we're currently in the process of rehearsing it heheh#so hopefully once that's over ill be here and bouncing again!#but yes - momma jaide 💖 the best in the world#~ art#jaide (mangaverse).insert#ruby.fam#stone family tag#pokespe parents#familial f/o#child f/o#selfshipping#selfship#safeship#© to cafekitsune for the dividers
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he still has his tonsils. by the way if you even care
#sorry this is fucking UNINTELLIGIBLE but unfortunately i’m still on my bullshit about dr. daddyissues. yeah it’s gonna be all month#i am rotating episode 2.8 ‘the mistake’ in my head at breakneck speed. i am gnawing on it i want to swallow it#oh he’s such a lying liar who lies. charming little bastard. would rather die/lose his license than express one wholly unaffected emotion#‘he thinks not giving a crap makes him like house. like it’s something to aspire to’ quick question HOW serious do the daddy issues have to#be before you start latching on to fucking GREGORY HOUSE as a paternal figure and role model. really#even cameron is not down this bad. even WILSON is not down this bad.#the daddy issues of it all are very understandable though because even setting aside whatever went down back in childhood that shit his#father did to him in seasons 1-2 is SO messed up. jesus#imagine traveling all the way across the world to the hospital your son works in for a consult which confirms what you already knew: you’re#going to die of cancer in like 2 months. making a whole point out of stopping by to visit your son. not telling him what’s going on.#letting him spend a whole episode’s worth of time gradually coming to terms with his complicated feelings towards you (complicated on#account of a whole childhood of objectively awful parenting). the kid finally is able to try reaching back out to you. after YOU initiated#the contact in the first place. how do you react? well obviously by telling him ‘oh sorry i actually have to get in a taxi right now’ and#fucking back off to the other side of the world without giving him a chance to actually talk to you at all and resolve any of the emotions#you just dredged up. oh by the way you still haven’t fucking told him you’re about to die and in fact actively mislead him into thinking#he’s going to have the chance to try meeting with you again next time he visits your home country.#especially fucked up given that the whole reason it DID take your son so long to come around THIS time is that he feels like every time#he’s tried reaching out to you in the past you’ve just disappointed him by refusing to put in the effort to meet him there.#And Now Here We Are Again.#rowan what the FUCK is wrong with you. i want to dig you up and kill you again#house md#robert chase#caseyposting
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Every time you ship Mitsuba with a girl, Kou punches a wall
#mitsuba sousuke#mitsukou#soukou#kousuke#seriously i am fed up with these ppl#normally i’d just leave them alone but if they insist on beefing with me i’m gonna beef back#vaguely and indirectly tho since tiktok wouldn’t let me call this one bitch a bitch#you cannot use “chronically online” to dispute every opinion you disagree with#also all fandom discourse is chronically online#shipping itself is chronically online#yes i’m bitter you can laugh it’s okay#just gotta get this rant out bcuz omg straight ppl annoy me sm#he kisses men#he went on a date with a man#again i recognize that this whole discussion is in and of itself chronically online but you literally cannot use that argument#when you’re actively choosing to engage in ship discourse#that’s like showing up to a brothel and calling ppl whores#like yeah that’s technically true but why are you here#mitsuba is gay
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YOU ARE KING
redraw of this!
#my art#thatskygame#sky cotl#samekh#valley elders#ooc#sky星を継ぐ子どもたち#so yeah. this is why im back LOL#thought about the twins for a little too long and well. here i am#also active in sky again if anyone wants to send their friend code!
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signing up for phannie twitter in a trench coat was not on my to do list today but i need y’all to know this is just for the enrichment like sure I guess but tumblr is my number one girl and so are all of you on here <3
#i literally had to stop myself from using twitter years ago when I was active in phandom spaces bc it was distracting me#from school and stuff so much#and kinda just became a lurker instead of participant in social media phandom spaces after 2016#and there’s something different about phannie tumblr im really glad to be here as a long time lurker but#post hiatus poster#it has brought me so much happiness and enrichment and friendship and yeah my screen time is back to debilitating levels but#i don’t really feel bad about it anymore like I have a handle on it but what else am I doing yknow lmfao#adding another twitter adjacent form of social media#is just reminding me of that and making me think about my social media use but#again I literally just spend all my time on here and that’s just another phannie space too so#it’s chill for now I guess just know that this is my main space always#bc I can simaltaneously feel cool and like a loser on here I love it there’s no expectations on this hellsite yk#also yapping in the tags is my favourite activity#blossoms.txt
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i really should go back to using this as my dump/spam like i think i got too intimidated by my follower account but at the end of the day this really was my teenage diary lol
#crazy as fuck. a good chunk of my old moots arent active anymore but here i am#still not sleeping on time HAHAHAHAH#anyway yeah i think i will use this as a diary again. i missed it.
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(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this
#Shrouded In A Rectangle neither sleeves nor an open front to be besieged with? yes#just doing whatever else like doesn't matter. tee cargo shorts which is my best guess rn of my ideal outfit. + sandals Absolutely#unfortunately my hair could never do that. somehow neither am i yet like forties fifties? have i not been at this for eons?#i Can be like uh let's just nobody talk to me i'm busy pensively perceiving truths that you don't ever actually wanna hear about#just the other day it was like hey....a [way Having To Talk could be a difficulty / problem] was under my nose in this lifelong pattern#certainly noticing the Verbal Exchange Demand heaped upon burnout as like [delay delay delay struggle weariness stress]#but also who knows like spent plenty of time just probably indeed Not having to have such exchanges while burned out. not noting them#anyway like this isn't even [dysphoric Ideal Outfit until i could [whatever supposed even more ideal than that gender euphoria]]#though shoutout to that but like nah get shrouded anyway. the only [how do i look] im motivated to consider is: when it's a costume#when it's just me it's like. i guess whatever pants and a comfortable enough tee. need glasses. hair's w/e so cut quite short ig#might accessorize w/things that are fun to me like hey yeah yknow i might want a calculator watch#[yea as a kid it was like :( im actively appreciating the animals supposedly Gross or Bad] if i had hated little friends Sure yaay#if i had disorienting light effects like a pelagic creature. but you don't even need that. like hey i'm nd in real life. i got it#chat i'm in the walls too bestie lmao. if only my bigfoot pose reference Step was this good#tl;dr long rephrasing of my being like; now the gender slay....#& nodding & Noting when [worksheet exercise: what's your gender euphoria look?] is like shrug idk. but this is serving maximally to me; so#going Chat how can i up my uncanny stats. looking up ''isn't it like Uncanny knowledge e.g. so like why not....canny''#but i think the un canny is the Uncanniness Accuser's perspective. not of My ken. your literal weird one maybe#so again apt to be like jk i'm just autistic & shit; i got it....horror shit challenge impossible: Don't have sm typical mundane#[disability moment] as like Unsettling danger/malice cues. challenge impossible; again#subverted here like as [horror holding hands touching foreheads w/comedy] w/o Rescinding just casual disabled behavior/qualities#just remembered like three witches weird sisters etc macbeth. weird uncanny soothsaying gendering. word#anyway i should be shrouded (made no any connection whenever i put the blanket now over my head & shoulders in place min ago)#perhaps the real Ideal Look insight: i do not have any way i wish to be observed by people. secret passages / removed room anytime
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yknow what actually
it does feel weird being gone. i dont know if anyone feels weird having me be gone but. i used to hit post limit on three accounts regularly, once. i was active in so many circles, had so many asks, interacted with so many people.
while i dont technically owe anyone anything i do appreciate the support and friendship and fun i got while i was still posting 100s of times a day.
so whether you remember fae your friend fae from your dashboard, or if im just some random account who youve at some point forgotten why you followed:
hi! i love you.
and thats the truth :D please take care, everyone!!
#dont know if ill ever reach that level of active here again bc something about tumblrs just#off for me now#but yeah#again i am available on discord and on certain sideblogs but#overall the fae addition to the dash ecosystem had been successfuly minimized
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#I once made a joke to my students that even though I never worked out I was always mentally lifting weights#in the gym of my own mind.#and it’s been such a helpful metaphor#not to make an outrageous statement here or to overestimate how smart I am (often not very smart at all!)#but just. my brain gets use. it gets exploration. it has been honed.#if it had an embodied form (other than my body) yeah! it would be lifting weights!#and/or doing gymnastics lol (for a zeitgeist-y metaphor)#(actually I am legit so good at mental gymnastics)#but ANYWAY the point is: the metaphor struck me because it highlighted how little my brain gets a break#and again—it’s not all worthwhile or deep or insightful or GOOD. a lot of it is useless or downright silly mental activity#but it IS activity. it is mental motion. day in day out. and it is so so so so so so so hard for me to give my brain a break#or even know how to do that#and I am absolutely tearing mental muscles and getting whatever it is athletes get when they work out too hard#or too strenuously#to extend the metaphor to the limit#and I need !!!!!!! a rest day#vacations are almost worse tbh. I feel like I hit this point a lot in the summer#because school forces me to think about things but actually much more helpfully it forces me to stop thinking about things#and do something else. it’s thinking on a schedule lol#and so the breaks are just built-in#but on my own I’ll just go go go go go and fall down every rabbit hole and chase my own tail#and it’s so tiring#anyway it hit me the other day that I could actually set limits for myself#like I was thinking about something in the shower (as you do) and it was stressful#and then I was like you have until the end of the shower to think about this and then you have to stop#and it was super helpful. I need to do that more. but yeah.#I don’t know how to give myself a rest day because who knows what will set the brain off#I also Know it wouldn’t be as bad if it wasn’t all interwoven with anxiety. but anixey is very deeply interwoven with how my brain works#so stressfully going down a million thought paths#ANYWAY !!!!! it is 1;41 am and I can’t sleep!!!!!!!
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My brain is so full of Bees about Post-Shift 2.
It's a fan game that was delayed for 4 years -- by the time it released, fnaf fangames as a whole were not as popular as they had been, & most people in the scene had forgotten about Post-Shift 1, so not a lot of people heard about it/played it.
Worse still is the people who did talk about the game. Pretty unanimously, the consensus was this: this game is the craziest, most insane fnaf fangame. It's overly difficult with mechanics that have no rhyme or reason to them & tutorials that are wordy, unhelpful, & sometimes actively mislead the player, meaning you need to comb through a lot of text only to be misinformed. It's not as infamous as some other fangames, but it definitely was talked about very poorly.
In general, I think most of these criticisms were blown up out of proportion, but I can't really disagree with most people's problems -- it is difficult & wordy, & rather hard to understand. I think, however, that the game is still 1. Really fun, 2. Not a bad game at all, &, most importantly, 3. Is a free fucking game that was clearly a passion project. Most damn fangames never get off the fucking ground when made in groups because the creators will never make a red cent off the thing -- this game was made by one dude for 4 years & delivered to people for free. It didn't ask anything of you except to accept it as a difficult game & to not go in with wild expectations. The dev just wanted to make a game that was rough, but he also wanted to make a game that felt unique & was fun. & It is fun, too, is the damn thing.
#em.txt#ps2 post#post-shift 2#i obviously am biased#i also obviously have more to say#but for now i think this is a start. i think this is fine so far.#i got counter arguments i was gonna type about the problems#bc tbh i think the difficulty isn't as big a problem as the difficult curve -- it starts very high for a fangame#bc it assumed you know what they're like. you know how fangames work. but it over assumes that all the mechanics#work at the same frequency as other fangame#the difficulty curve of night 1 is pretty tough place to start which turned a lot of people off#especially with how long & unclear th tutorials are & of course night 1's tutorial starting with a character that is unused in that night#it's rough. night 2 is even tougher. but night 3 is a cakewalk once you beat 2 bc it only adds 2 threats#so you might expect the next night to be as easy or even easier & in my eyes yeah -- night 4 is easier than 1 even#except that it's completely different & is asking the player to learn a new game entirely which is its own difficulty#but i can crank out a night 4 easy peasy no prolem. so you might expect night 5 to be even easier right? WRONG#WRONG WRONG WRRRONNNGG even people who know what they are doing struggle#because a mechanic in the game actively increases the difficulty as the difficulty is increased which is EVIL#& night 6 is even harder i have seen 3 people beat night 6 it is absurd#i sat in a call with another PS2 fan who clearly played thr game s lot & loved it but they could not beat the night normally#& this night has fucking optional difficulty modifiers when you finish that make it harder it is hell on earth#there is no checkpoints it is bad it is so bad I haven't beaten it i talk abt this game every day i play all the nights#i do not fucking play this night bc the way the tutorial works is unreal & unhelpful it wants you to remember#all this shit but it removes the 'walk around & click things before the night starts to see how they work/where they are'#& then it changes every 2 hours to something new so you won 12-2 but you hit 2 & forgot this one person's mechanic#but the only way to read the tutorial again is to close the game bc it automatically puts you back into the night#& will not take you to the home screen to view the booklet for night 6 it's insane#so yeah. there is difficulty. but the difficulty curve being this inconsistent is worse tbh#i get night 6 is meant to be like a 'everyone is here!' bossfight but it's overwhelming & there is too damn much
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Mark my words, the next country/area we're getting in Infinity Nikki is Cicia.
#theres just too many quests and npcs connected to cicia for it not to be foreshadowing#plus umbreto the other oft mentioned country we've seen is currently in a war with refugees dispersing to wishfield (and maybe other places)#while the nikki series doesnt shy away from war i doubt we'll go there during active fighting without a good reason#and right now theres way more reasons to go to cicia than umbreto#but then again im not really finished with the main quest here in wishfield as i am against the wall that is sovereign battles#well more like all the factions under them#why are the piecey and faewish sprites so hard- my resources to glow up are dwindling fast#as much as i hate gacha mechanics these ones do seem pretty generous when you do pull#i like some of the lower tier pieces better than some of the higher tier ones too so im not too disappointed when i dont pull a 4 or 5 star#as a free to play person im finding i can usually full pull one of the two limited banners and get some of the pieces from the 2nd banner#but yeah incredibly fun game and despite there being a ton of beautiful textures and lighting my computer is taking it well#of course im playing on desktop im sure my phone would explode and my laptop run hotter than the sun#infinity nikki
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#just...want to say it's almost christmas and we made it this far again this year#and I wanna say am proud of you for doing so#also ty for...still being here#like you did good despite the hardships! i hope it gets a bit okay before the year ends?(sincerely wishing it to you)#so yeah....this year is ending and I hope it's a new or another beginning for you#if that makes sense#am sleepy and i just wanna say all this crappy stuff#so if you happen to read this#it's almost christmas and i wish the year ends for you in a good way :)#likeee with a blast(not literally lol)#alsooooooo ty for still being with this blog! ik i havent been active much and ik it dont matter but am just letting you know ik lmao#gosh this sucks but..again ty! :)#hope you have a nice day/night#tc always and stay safe 🖤
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Yeah I've just realised it's been months since I posted or reblogged or replied to anything on here, so. Yeah. Obligatory announcement that I am still alive and well. My mind got wiped midway through exam season at the end of january and since they then I've been vibing in a stress free world where I am not worried about anything or doing anything
#no kidding#it's like someone pressed a turn off button on me#and it got stuck and you cant turn me back on#i feel like ive been floating through life in a bubble for the past few months#like#hell#since this started in the middle of exam season that would be a good example#1st half of the season: worried#2nd half of the exam season: i am gonna read an entire semester's worth of notes (several hunreds pf slides) the night before the exam and#not be worried in the slightest about passing despite not knowing anything and my brain being scrambled#currently entering exam season yet again and i literally STILL don't feel anything#no stress#no pressure#it's kinda annoying because stress and pressure are my only way of avoiding procrastination lol#but yeah ive been kinda out of it for thr last few months#same with tumblr#i lurked here at least once or twice a week but just#nope#pressing a reblog button? replying to anything or anyone? posting anything? exhausting#i dont think ive actually checked my notifications and messages in months?#sincere apologies if ive been ignoring anyone for months XD#idk how active i am gonna be in the near future but hey i am here#for the record i don't think this is burnout or anything like that? and i am not in a bad mood or anything#i am pretty good actually XD i am just not doing... literally anything unless i absolutely have to#at the last possible second because procrastination my behated#ema rambles
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prev rb shana is def one of those people lmao.
#really enjoys video calling too. generally more tech savvy than you'd expect from a guy born in the 60s but#not a very like. online person though.#so he'll like. always prefer real life meet ups and only call if there's no possibility for the alternative at all#and calling over texting.#and only has a vague idea of the most popular sites while not knowing about the rest at all. he has his texting app something like skype or#zoom his website (not like a blog like a professional website for his work as a surgeon where you can make appointments and such)#and his email application and that's pretty much the extent of his online activity#he wants tangible/physical real life experiences and most online stuff simply doesn’t cut it for him.#so while it definitely influenced him he’d probably be still fairly similar to this if he didn’t grow up in a pre internet environment#but also#very much one of those kids these days need to get off their phones old people lmao#oc: shana#cherry is the total opposite here. way too online and hates calling and especially video calling not just because it’s shana#she hates it in general and he certainly doesn’t intend to help lmao. he likes that about her.#they have an arrangement that if they don’t see each other and she doesn’t want to talk to him over the phone she has to send him a picture#of whatever she’s doing in the moment he requests it.#she has to be in the picture#she’s not allowed to like. move locations or change her appearance and stuff like that.#shana again is a very real life experiences guy and really doesn’t care much for taking pictures and the like#but since it’s a like a snapshot of the current moment it’s different i’d say.#still he’s not the type of person to go back and look at one of those he particularly liked.#he wants the real thing he doesn’t get joy from that. if that makes sense.#but yeah it’s a nice substitute since cherry most often just fully refuses to talk to him on call. he still finds plenty of#situations to force her into it though. since a substitute may be nice but ultimately is not what he really wants.#this is also like. a situation that does not happen very often because they work in the same building and therefore see each other almost#every single day to cherry’s misery. like why am i even thinking about this.#his responses to those pictures range from mildly weird to majorly disturbing btw.#ranging from shit like ‘little angel’ to telling her that what would perfect this moment is her spitting red from her pretty lips. ew!#why am i rambling so much oh my god#help. hi 👋 if you’ve made it this far i’m sending you a virtual cookie enjoy
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