#xisuma x hypno x wels

[mcytshipsandmore]

having thoughts about xisuma x hypno x welsknight

the three of them playing satisfactory together is doing things for me lmao they are such a chill but chaotic group and I love it ^-^

like the way that xisuma and hypno keep trying to kill eachother but then decided let's go do deforestation or whatever and wels is just in the background continuing on with the progress of their base. I wanna make a space au just for them hehe ^-^

SPACE AUUUUU!!!!!

Personally I feel that all three are chill on the surface but chaotic gremlins when you get to know them

-🍫

[kiwinatorwaffles]

Hi it me again. What would the reaction be if Shawn and Evan met their Xisuma and Ex somehow? Or what would the reactions be if anyone met their hermit counterpart.

-🍄

an old post of the voros brothers meeting their counterparts

grian sees his hc self he’s like awww i get powers and wings in one package? and when doc sees his hc self he’s like why are you Green

plays bros meeting their counterparts would just be zaeden and zed exchanging awful innuendos or science memes there’s no in between while norman comforts worm man for also having an insane brother

and adding to that hypno sees zedaph and is shocked because this man has No swag. he’s always having fashion rivalries with zaeden but his counterpart just wears an ugly sweater all day

kasper meeting keralis is also just. endless innuendos and by the end of 5 minutes everyone’s so done with them both

wels and hels seeing their counterparts is like damn hels you’re not dead? never mind you look even more fucked up than usual

tango is slightly disappointed that lulu is bdubs’ horse but he ends up befriending her after giving her an apple

cleo is glad to see her counterpart still throws hands with jevin regularly (although he’s a slime and not radioactive)

and octavian is like. i’m supposed to be THIS guy? they can’t even scam people correctly

[shepscapades]

OTHER DRAWINGS

This is an extension of the DBHC Masterpost.

The links below contain art that have collections of dbhc characters and aren't necessarily relevant to any specific character's narrative. I will do my best to update these extensions of the Masterpost with every new major post I publish, so feel free to keep checking this original post (not reblogs, which will not retain edits) for new content!

As mentioned in the base Masterpost, the below links are organized in NARRATIVE CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER, not by the order in which they were posted/published. ♪ = This symbol next to any of the links below refers to posts or drawings that were made inspired by music (in most cases, music from dbhc characters’ playlists)!

POST LIST

Hermit a Day May features most of the dbhc cast! #HermitaDayMay

[x] Xisuma, Ren, and Bdubs’ Reactions to Deviancy Ask Doodle [x] Valentines Assortment, Including dbhc ranchers and ethubs [x] Pre-Deviant Mumbo and Decked Out Tango Design [x] [x] [x] Decked Out Doodle Collections [Bdubs|Tango|Etho|Hypno|False|Doc|Xisuma|Zed|Gem|Grian|Ren] [x] Secret Life Doodles [Etho|Bdubs|Cleo] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] Trick or Treat Doodles– Previews and Sketches [Etho|Bdubs|Xisuma|Doc|Tango] [x] Large Collection of DBHC Secret Life Doodles[Etho|Mumbo|Skizz|Tango] [x] ♪ Hermitgang [Doc|Wels|False|Impulse|Xisuma|Ren|Mumbo] [x] RvB ref: AI… What’s the A Stand For? [Scar|Doc] [x] [x] [x] DDLC DBHC ???? [Etho|Bdubs|Joel|Ren|Cleo|X|Doc] [x] Xisuma Featured in my 'Characters I like' drawing meme! [x] Wild Life Begins! [Jimmy|Ren|Bigb|Lizzie|Martyn|Joel|Skizz|Cleo|Gem|Mumbo|Bdubs|Etho]

[randomheadcanons1234]

Hermitcraft AU: horrible disguises

Do you guys know how we almost never see hermits as humans?

What if all the Hermits where hybrids but didn’t know the others were as well so they try to hide their hybrid features but very poorly

Like this

Grian standing there with his wings out but dyed in elytra colours, but it’s done very poorly and you can still see his feathers.

Pearl who also dyed her moth wings but it’s even worse

Pearl: hello, does your elytra look different?

Grian: no?

Pearl shrugging: okay

Or like this

Doc getting ready in the morning and putting on make up to cover up his green skin

Ren walking in with a human mask on and hair clips that push his ears down but you can still see them

Ren: Why are you green?

Doc: face mask

Ren 100% convinced

Ren: makes sense

Or

The hermits ask X why he never takes off his helmet

Xisuma sweating as he is wearing it to cover up his voidwalker features

X: allergies?

The other hermits: yeah makes sense

The only people who caught on are Wels and Hypno and they sure as hell won’t say anything since it’s free entertainment.

[brainrot-has-overtaken-me]

(Gonna be honest, I’m surprised by some of the top 9. Was gonna make this poll for top 10 but Stress demised before I could)

[yaolukash]

as i really miss welsuma and wels in particular i've decided to publish something written when wels took a break 3 months ago

so yeah... welsuma

At one point, he just disappeared.

Without warning, without clues to his location, without... Anything. All that was left of Wels is the castle. As before, it was almost completely empty, deserted, but now there was not a single soul in it. The only living there moth that used the castle walls as a shelter from the outside world, letting in only loved ones, shelter from the hustle, ambition, sounds... Most importantly sounds. That moth just disappeared.

And the worst thing for Xisuma was not the fact of the disappearance itself, no matter how strange it may sound, but the fact that Hypno was the first to notice it. Hypno, when no one was responding to the fireworks and horns, suspected something was wrong. Not Xisuma, who was immersed in business at that moment. Someone who just lived closer to the knight than the admin.

The tiles sounded unpleasantly under the feet of the admin. The same unfinished castle, on the roof of which Xisuma looked at the stars every night in almost absolute darkness, again waiting for his beloved. Again, as every night of the past two months, he taps a certain tune, hoping that wherever the moth is, he will hear... He'll feel it.

"I miss you, my knight. My knight in shining armor," Xisuma grinned, returning his gaze to the stars, peering into the outlines of the planets, where his loved one could be, not visible to his gaze, "But I know that one day you will return."

There was a long silence, which Xisuma did not dare to break with words, as if he felt that somewhere in the distance his words were being heard and answered by an important to him, quiet, very gentle and calm voice saying that he would be there soon. He will come back soon, will soon be there to help admin again, will soon let X to take care of him and finally will tell all this mess of thoughts, that was in his head.

"Sooner or later, one way or another... But you'll be back. At least, I hope so. No, I believe so, as you said yourself that it's useless to hope. Therefore, I believe and wait until you tell me what stole you from the castle," the admin quietly concluded his speech, still looking at the sky.

Silence has always attracted Wels. Xisuma wasn't going to interrupt it anymore. At least not tonight.

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

it is really hard to find places for all 27 hermits in your au. that said i feel like the heist au HAS to include all of them for some reason???? just the idea of all 27 hermits crowded around a map in a warehouse as xisuma lays out the plan is fucking intoxicating to me

so. heres what i have for roles so far

Xisuma is the mastermind, and puts together the team immediately after being released from a prison term. yeah if im gonna parody oceans 11 im gonna GO for it

Scar is the grifter/conman archetype bc. come on. have you listened to that man talk his way out of situations

Grian is a pickpocket (and general thief but pickpocketing is his specialty)

Mumbo is our resident safecracker

Ren, False, and Cleo are all getaway drivers. (their plan involves two real cars since theres two many of them to carry in one vehicle, plus a decoy car.) they race and shittalk each other in the way that only old friends can

BDubs, Doc, Etho, and Beef were a team once, and have since retired, and X gets them to take on One Last Job bc if its a heist I GET TO DO THE HEIST TROPES FUCKIN. GET AT ME. Doc is their tech guy, Etho their thief/pickpocket, Beef was the muscle, and BDubs their distraction

speaking of distractions, Zedaph. he's an escape artist and his main role in the plan is to draw police attention, get arrested, and then get away.

Tango gets to be their demolitionist

Skizz is The New Guy because every heist crew has a New Guy for some reason

Joel is the inside man with SOS/Empires

Keralis is the second-in-command/confidante type character for Xisuma

not 100% certain what role Gem plays in Xisuma's plan but she ends up betraying the hermit crew and selling them up the river to Fwhip (they're siblings)

Iskall as their hacker. bc it has to be one of the redstoners and of them i think Iskall is the one whose aesthetic is LEAST tied to the actual physical/mechanical machinery/gadgetry and more to the informational/computational side

Cub is the supplier of the team's weapons and tech

Joe has the most connections with the criminal underworld and is a big part of the initial getting-the-team-together

that leaves Hypno, Jevin, Impulse, Pearl, Stress, Wels, and XB with currently no place in the au and honestly. thats better for a first pass than i thought id do

[transmcytshowdown]

I like polls where I don’t know either contestant because it means I have to be swayed solely by the propaganda. Squiddo??? Folly??? Okay yeah you people got me. You won.

Anyway. Vote Welsknight, Hypno, Evil X and Xisuma. Wels is truly the he/him transmasc

Hypno is so gender-fluid and ambiguous, just look at him.

Evil X has never been cis, ever. Please. Them being trans in some way is so popular even the creator put a fanart of them with the non-binary flag into his collection (or so I’ve heard. Cannot confirm these claims. Also cannot specify I don’t know how twitter works.)

Xisuma?? He/him agender & cassgender that is now my truth.

pretty hypno fanart is the ONLY fanart /silly

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Skizzekai Au Masterpost 2

We hit the limit of 100 links per post, so here's Part 2!

Masterpost 1

Ask links below cut

Canon Asks:

Grian's eyes

Big Bad reveal- Evil X!

Hels is a guard for EX

EX's magic hot tub

Yes, it really is a hot tub

Impulse misses the Evil Hot Tub

Effects of the sculk infestation

Cub caused the sculk

ZITS raiding EX's palace

EX's guards are hels hermits

Impulse's backstory

EX's form is not constant

EX's underlings are magic constructs

Hot Tub Clarification

Pirate Xisuma

Sculked Cub

EX made up a fake prophecy

Hot tub acronym

Why EX made the hels hermits

Helsknight made from enchanted armour

Grian is incomprehensible

Differences between X and EX

Impulse character design

Grian likes fishing

The Watchers are Joel's prophets

Hels Hermits aren't quite right

Wels has seal armour

EX didn't know Wels was a selkie

Hels Hermit minibosses

Helsknight has a feud with a seal

The hot tub is magic

Skizz can use his friends magic

Gems magic in the final battle

Ren and Cleo origins

Non-unified pirate kingdom

Water spirit xB

Demon magic details

Iskallium in the Ice Kingdom

Iskall's former name

Ex-Watcher Grian

Skizz cannot wear sleeves

Skizz first using Tangos magic

Mumbo and Grian details

Skizz travels to gain allies

The people of EX's land think Impulse is a spy

After they win, Skizz goes home.

Scar and Badtimes have met

Why Tango is scared of Grian

Zedaph became Death's apprentice by discovering immortality

The roles of True and Badtimes

How does Hypno adjust to the human world?

Various questions about Skizz in the Ice Kingdom

A few details on Skizz gaining the kingdoms favour

Rumours about the jungle

Xisuma grows his own bones

Etho and Skizz first meeting

Farmer Beef

Etho and Doc are the reason Joe is here

Grian and stories

Beef's jungle food

Mirror construct Beef

Beef glows when angry

Watchers are a job title

Grian is a Chaos Mage

Zed can't ever die + immortality details

Grian motivations, EX draining magic could kill him

Bdubs and Tango rivalry

Mumbo getting his power back

Skizz's endless journal

Pearl and forgiveness

EX, after being defeated.

Doc pranking the adventuring party

Cleo can turn people to stone

Alternates:

Hypno, in the human world

Backwards fae Skizz

Backstory for EX and some hels hermits

Watchers ultimate big bad + clarification

Two groups called Watchers

Underground entity Watchers

Impulse misunderstood the hot tub

Skizz sees alternate versions of his friends when he gets back to Earth

Grian and Pearl as Watchers

Beef collecting creatures in cards

Skizz getting visions of the moon falling

Expansion on previous Watcher Pearl alt

Moon Goddess Pearl

Skizz getting stuck in the hot tub

[nekodere07]

Tango is a bad influence

I had fun doing this

BdoubleO100/Pungence - B/Pungence of the Double-o Variety

Cubfan135 - Cub of the Fan Variety

Docm77 - Docm of the Seventy-seven Variety

EthosLab - Etho of the Slab Variety

FalseSymmetry - False of the Symmetry Variety

GoodTimesWithScar - Scar of the Goodtime Variety

Grian - Grian of the Bread Variety

GeminiTay - Gemini of the Tay Variety

Hypnotizd - Hypno of the Tizd Variety

iJevin - iJevin of the Slime Variety

ImpulseSV - Impulse of the SV Variety

Iskall85 - Iskall of the Eighty-five Variety

JoeHills - Joe of the Hills Variety

Keralis - Keralis of the One Variety

MumboJumbo - Mumbo of the Jumbo Variety

PearlescentMoon - Pearlescent of the Moon Variety

Rendog - Ren of the Dog Variety

StressMonster101 - Stress of the Monster Variety

TangoTek - Tango of the Tek Variety

TinFoilChef - Chef of the Tinfoil Variety

VintageBeef - Beef of the Vintage Variety

Welsknight - Wels of the Knight Variety

xBCrafted - xB of the Crafted Variety

Xisumavoid/Evil X - Xisuma/Evil X of the Void Variety

ZedaphPlays - Zedaph of the Plays Variety

ZombieCleo - Cleo of the Zombie Variety

[choco-bloop]

Consider: HcVH X Persona 4

Etho's a transfer from the city to the peaceful country side, staying with his old friends Beef, Doc and Bdubs. But when he enters the town, strange murders begin to occur, all while a new mysterious "Midnight Channel" becomes the talk of the town. (not to mention this guy called Igor also introducing himself in his dreams) Aside from his old friends, he makes friends with 3 of his classmate (Iskall, False and Stress), which marks the start of a year long investigation into the mysterious world of the TV and the truth behind the murders.

And maybe a lot more truths will be spilled about the people around them than any of them realise.

The current join order I have is: Etho, Iskall, False, Stress, Joe, Xisuma, Hypno, Xb, Wels. I might change it in the future but for now I think this is all good.

but ofc there's still a lot of other details i need to sort out (social links, everyone's arcana, who are the remaining social links, base-upgrade-final personas, shadow form designs + boss forms...) yeah it'll be a while haha

[locusfandomtime]

Rating each hermit’s likelihood of being a furry

scar keeps getting furry allegations so i thought i’d make this post

Joe Hills - 7/10 he doesn’t really consider himself part of the community but he has a sparkledog sona and dresses up in his homemade diy fursuit sometimes. he respects furries deeply and does not tolerate hate towards them

Xisuma - 8/10 totally a furry he changes his skin all the time to dress up as the latest minecraft mob. he already has a “cringe” oc (evil x). he doesn’t even know what a furry is i think but he probably owns a fursuit anyway because he thinks its neat

Hypno - 3/10 he’d say no but give him cat ears to match with max and he’ll be wearing them every stream from now on

Keralis - 2/10 pretends to not know what a furry is but he does. he does.

Mumbo - 1/10 logically he would know of furries due to his young age and activeness online but i don’t believe he does, he has never heard of a furry and never will

Cleo - 6/10 with enough encouragement she’d wear a fursuit. maybe if joe made one for them. she’s got a vtuber avatar so this is just next in the pipeline i think

Jevin - 3/10 he isn’t one but he does have a non-human character which technically qualifies him as one. instead of a fursuit i think he’d have to coat himself in jelly or something

False - 3/10 she already dresses up as a banana on stream how far away is dressing up as an anthropomorphic animal you must ask yourself. plants and animals had their last common ancestor 1.6 billion years ago, keep this in mind

Tango - 7/10 his fursona is an evil ravager named “skadoodler evil the third” and mrs tango has a matching fursona and they do that furry couple thing of commissioning art of their ocs kissing

xB - 4/10 not one but I don’t think he’d be opposed to the idea of being a furry. i think ferks could be a furry

Impulse - 4/10 i was gonna say no but then i remembered the imp + skizz cat fursona thumbnail

Etho - 3/10 he isn’t a furry but he is a weeb. maybe he’d wear like a fox tail or something

Doc - 9/10 he has an oc which is half creeper half robot half goat and has butterfly wings and is an evil scientist. this guy knows cringe is dead and is living his life playing as his middle aged man Mary Sue fursona

Ren - 10/10 “ren the DOG” 🤨? this is confirmed his minecraft skin has fucking dog ears

Wels - 5/10 he is not a furry but i like to think he’s a LARPer irl and has a knightsona so he gets an honourable mention.

Iskall - 2/10 i could see him wearing cat ears, only as a joke though

Cub - 7/10 “cub”? “wolf pack”? furry cub just makes sense and he’d be an epic furry. the world isn’t ready for furry cub

Scar - 9/10 the other hermits call him a furry for a reason. his fursona is anthro jelly i guess. there are so many disney movies revolving around anthropomorphic animals this is natural

Beef - 3/10 he never truly becomes a furry but at night he daydreams about what his cool llama fursona would look like. he peaks a little at furry art but is never brave enough to venture further. in another lifetime maybe…

Bdubs - 8/10 he seems disproportionally offended at allegations he’s a furry and is incredibly obsessed with horses. furry with internalised furry hate i think

Stress - 2/10 i think she’d find the idea of furries cute and funny but wouldn’t be one

Zedaph - 9/10 you’d see him rocking up to furcon. his fursona would be a weirdass sheep worm hybrid

Grian - 4/10 i can see it. despite fan interpretation, i don’t think he’d be a parrot though i think he’d be a cat tbh

Gem - 7/10 she would have the cutest most cottagecore deer fursona of all time and it would have a beautiful design and outfit and bi flag. she’d get a vtuber model and a custom fursuit and art made. it is insane to me that this hasn’t happened yet

Pearl - 5/10 she isn’t but she does seem like the kind of woman who was obsessed with wolves at the age of 12 and has never outgrown that. also double life pearl deserves to be a beautiful silver wolf

[jqsalas]

Hermitcraft & Friends Species Headcanons

Bdubs: Land Dweller

Beef: Bull

Cleo: Zombie

Cub: Ursa Minor

Doc: Amalgamation (Creeper, Cyborg, Goat, Butterfly)

Etho: Eldritch Being (Unknown)

False: Avian (Eagle)

Gem: Shapeshifter ~ Born a deer, Usually a Deer

Grian: Wellex, Eldritch Being (Sun God)

Hypno: Shadow Person

Impulse: Void Ravager

Iskall: Zombie, Cyborg

Jevin: Slime

Joe: Ghost

Joel: Alien

Keralis: Eldritch Being (Unkown)

Mumbo: Redstone Bug

Pearl: Eldritch Being (Moon Goddess)

Ren: Wolf

Scar: Shapeshift ~ Born an allay, Usually a cat

Skizz: Angel

Stress: Butterfly

Tango: Blaze

TFC: Hermit

Wels: Shapeshifter ~ Born a dragon, Usually a mouse

XB: Guardian

Xisuma: Voidwalker

Zed: Goat, Enderman

Evil X: Voidwalker

Hels: Shapeshifter ~ Born a dragon, Usually a dragon

Badtimes: Vex

True: Avian (Eagle)

Martyn: Shapeshifter

Jimmy: Avian (Canary)

Big B: Human

Lizzie: Fairy

Scott: Elf

[welsknight-central]

this post will kind of act like a directory of all the wels knight and hels knight shipping posts that can be found on this blog ^-^

the general tag for any posts with shipping of wels knight or hels knight is #hermitshipping

hermits with wels:

#bdubs x wels knight

#beef x wels knight

#biffa x wels knight

#cleo x wels knight

#doc x wels knight

#etho x wels knight

#evil xisuma x wels knight

#grian x wels knight

#hypno x wels knight

#jevin x wels knight

#pearl x wels knight

#python x wels knight

#ren x wels knight

#scar x wels knight

#stress x wels knight

#tango x wels knight

#wels knight x hels knight

#xisuma x wels knight

#hermits x wels knight *this one is for posts that may have either hermitcraft as a huge polycule or multiple ships with wels (like more than 3 in one post)

hermits with hels:

#evil xisuma x hels knight

#impulse x hels knight

#scarlet pearl x hels knight

#wels knight x hels knight

#wormman x hels knight

#hermits x hels knight *this one is for posts that may have either hermitcraft as a huge polycule or multiple ships with hels (like more than 3 in one post)

other random ships:

#eret x wels knight

#eret x hels knight

#martyn x wels knight

#reader x hels knight

#satan x hels knight

[dykeobsidianblock]

Characters I personally write for

These are the characters I personally write for, if you don't see a character on this list than it means I either dont write for them or forgot to add them to this list. If youre unsure than ask whether or I write for them

Red means I only write romantic x reader for them, Blue means I only write platonic/familial x reader for them, Green means I only write sexual x reader for them and Pink means I write romantic, sexual and platonic/familial x reader for them

Under the cut since it ended up getting longer than I expected

The Arcana:

Lucio

Muriel

Portia

Nadia

Volta

Vlastomil

Nafizah

Nahara

Natiqa

The Muppets*

The Electric Mayhem (Dr Teeth, Lips, Floyd Pepper, Janice, Zoot and Animal)

Walter

Miss Piggy

Denise

Constantine

Rowlf

Clifford

*I only write for human versions of the Muppets

Empires SMP (Both s1 and s2):

Scott

Jimmy

Pixl

Lizzie

Pearl

Katherine

Shubble

Gem

Sausage

Oli

False

Joey

Life Series:

Grian

Scar

Bigb

Ren

Jimmy

Mumbo

Lizzie

Cleo

Martyn

Pearl

Scott

Impulse

Tango

Origins SMP:

Scott

Sparklez

Create SMP:

Keralis

Scar

Tango

Zedaph

Witchcraft SMP:

Joey

Scott

Cleo

Shubble

Hermitcraft:

Grian

Scar

Mumbo

Xisuma

Keralis

Ren

Renbob

Hypno

Doc

Gem

Wels

False

Stress

Pearl

Cleo

Zedaph

Wormman

Impulse

Tango

Pirates SMP:

Sausage

Martyn

Oli

Pokemon:

Champion Cynthia

Elite 4 Hassel

Champion Alder

Commander Kamado

Team Rocket Jessie

Team Rocket James

Trial Captain Kiawe

Team Aqua Archie

Team Magma Maxie

Professor Kukui

Champion Steven Stone

Gym Leader Iono

Gym Leader Kofu

Gym Leader Katy

Gym Leader Lt. Surge

Professor Birch

Professor Rowan

Subway Master Ingo

Subway Master Emmett

Elite 4 Marshal

Elite 4 Siebold

Elite 4 Drasna

Elite 4 Malva

Elite 4 Wikstrom

Champion Diantha

Gym Leader Wulfric

Aether Foundation Wicke

Team Skull Guzma

Ultra Recon Dulse

Ultra Recon Zossie

Gym Leader Milo

Champion Leon

Gym Leader Raihan

Gym Leader Melony

(Former) Champion Peony

Gym Leader Nessa

Gym Leader Kabu

Galaxy Clan Cyllene

Professor Laventon

Diamond Clan Iscan

Diamond Clan Adaman

Pearl Clan Palina

Rival Arven

Rival Nemona

Gym Leader Ryme

Teacher Tyme

Professor Sada

Teacher Raifort

Teacher Saguaro

Stardew Valley:

Elliott

Clint

Gunther

M. Rasmodius

Marnie

Haley

Maru

Demetrius

Leah

Seven Deadly Sins:

King

Diane

Escanor

Gilthunder

Howzer

Gowther

Jericho

Guila

Griamore

Naruto:

Kakashi

Sakura

Naruto

Sasuke

Gai

Rock Lee

Tenten

Kankuro

Choji

Obey Me:

Asmodeus

Lucifer

Leviathan

Luke

Simeon

Diavolo

Beelzebub

Barbatos

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

TERRIBLE NEWS. TUMBLR HAS REMOVED MY ABILITY TO ADD POLLS TO REBLOGS???

anyways. i'm trying to decide where to put skizz and joel in the hermitcraft blaseball au.

skizz's team is already decided (he's on the lovers, duh). yes that's his team in the life series au too, it's not my fault he has a brand. i made these aus before secret life even started.

but joel is harder to decide so i'm giving the choice to you all, who i trust with joel opinions more than i trust myself.

i'll add my reasoning for the teams provided below the cut, alongside a list of all the other options, including which hermits are on which team if putting him on the same team as certain people matters to you.

tokyo lift: other hermits already on the team include stress and false, who i think he'd have a fun dynamic with. i'm pretty sure the lift had a cyberpunk theme, as does joel this season. if he's on the lift i can justify drawing him with a pink streak instead of a green one. i'm also feeding into his ego here and putting him on the strong team.

yellowstone magic: he would be teammates with zed here, and i just think they would be very funny together. i can also justify dying his hair pink here, though it's much more magenta. also i think shrek would've lived in yellowstone. idk it feels right.

kansas city breath mints: i think joel would fit in with them vibes-wise (which is to say i think he would fail the bar exam). but i mostly included the breath mints in the poll because he would be teammates with cleo and gem.

breckenridge jazz hands: it would be pretty funny to shove joel in a room full of band kids, theater kids, resident mean girl iskall eightyfive, and xisuma. just imagine it with me. however. know that if you vote for joel to be on the jands, he will be making a brief cameo in my pearl/netty/jimmy precog trio fic that i'm working on as jimmy's replacement on the jands when he dies. for flavor!

anyways, other options!

hades tigers: only hermit teammate would be exil x, which is inherently a little hilarious. anyways these guys live in hell- not really. but they ARE fireproof!

mexico city wild wings: would make him teammates with hypno. all i really knew about the wings was spicy milk (exactly what it sounds like) and the time they tried to sue the entire league so. keep those facts in mind.

chicago firefighters: would make him teammates with tango. and also he would be a firefighter now. like, the profession. blaze joel afterlife smp likers i feel like this would appeal to you somewhat.

atlantis georgias: would make him teammates with xb. if he ends up on the georgias i'm turning him into a sea creature of some kind, so vote for what creature that is if you vote for this option.

philly pies: no hermit teammates here. all i remember about the pies off the top of my head is that they won the first two seasons of blaseball and then proceeded to never win a championship again.

new york millennials: would make him teammates with mumbo. and also housemates, because all the millennials live in an infinite apartment together, which feels appropriate for magic mountain. i could also make him pink here. however putting him on the mills would require me to type millennials more often, which is a word i cannot ever spell. would you do that to me? (/j)

seattle garages: would make him teammates with joe. one large band. if joel joins the garages i will be making him play the drums, of course. also i'll need to decide which garages song(s) i think he wrote.

dallas steaks: would make him teammates with beef. i don't know if i trust joel at a grill enough for this but i also don't know if i don't trust him.

san fransisco lovers: would make him teammates with ren (team captain), skizz, and wels. wow you've found one of the hermit hot spots. anyways this would put him in a medieval-themed, team-wide polycule.

core mechanics: would make him teammates with doc and keralis. i do think this would be an extremely funny trio. these guys live in the core of the world and build cool robots and things.

hellmouth sunbeams: would make him teammates with impulse. the moab desert fell into a hellmouth in season 1, so all the beams are Weird now. joel joining the beams would also make him Weird.

houston spies: would make him teammates with pearl. netty and jimmy were also spies before they died but idk if that'll be relevant to joel idk when i'm inserting him into these teams. anyways top secret escapades on the spies. also they have a secret base on the moon.

miami dale: would make him teammates with scar. the dale are the party time capital of the world and were the last team to ever make the playoffs, qualifying for the first time in SEASON FIFTEEN OF TWENTY FOUR. they never won an internet series but that's less of an accomplishment.

la unlimited tacos: would make him teammates with grian. the tacos tried to do a strike against god one time (it didn't work out but i respect the commitment)

boston flowers: no hermit teammates here. this was my team when blaseball was running and it would make me happy to put a hermit on it but it doesn't feel right for joel unfortunately. i can be convinced, however.

ohio worms: would make him teammates with wormman (aka zedaph in a disguise) and be coached by tfc. the worms are worms. they're in the dirt. self explanatory.

hawai'i fridays: would make him teammates with bdubs. this is also esmp 1 joel's team in the empires au which isn't relevant but is a fun fact (esmp 2 joel is on the lovers). the fridays have a cool goddess and good vibes. except for that time they all died. don't worry they got better.

canada moist talkers: would make him teammates with etho. i don't know if joel could survive in the cold but maybe i'm wrong maybe he'd be fine. maybe he's withstand it just to stake his claim as #1 ethogirl.

charleston shoe thieves: would make him teammates with cub and jevin. would also (maybe) make him get cursed by god but don't worry about that part, worry about the thieves guild he's joining.

baltimore crabs: would make him teammates with helsknight only. also inherently hilarious. this is the divorcee zone also there's a long dead crab goddess in the chesapeake and if you join the crabs parts of your body will slowly turn into crab. we have fun in baltimore.