#joel girls give me your inisght

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

TERRIBLE NEWS. TUMBLR HAS REMOVED MY ABILITY TO ADD POLLS TO REBLOGS???

anyways. i'm trying to decide where to put skizz and joel in the hermitcraft blaseball au.

skizz's team is already decided (he's on the lovers, duh). yes that's his team in the life series au too, it's not my fault he has a brand. i made these aus before secret life even started.

but joel is harder to decide so i'm giving the choice to you all, who i trust with joel opinions more than i trust myself.

i'll add my reasoning for the teams provided below the cut, alongside a list of all the other options, including which hermits are on which team if putting him on the same team as certain people matters to you.

tokyo lift: other hermits already on the team include stress and false, who i think he'd have a fun dynamic with. i'm pretty sure the lift had a cyberpunk theme, as does joel this season. if he's on the lift i can justify drawing him with a pink streak instead of a green one. i'm also feeding into his ego here and putting him on the strong team.

yellowstone magic: he would be teammates with zed here, and i just think they would be very funny together. i can also justify dying his hair pink here, though it's much more magenta. also i think shrek would've lived in yellowstone. idk it feels right.

kansas city breath mints: i think joel would fit in with them vibes-wise (which is to say i think he would fail the bar exam). but i mostly included the breath mints in the poll because he would be teammates with cleo and gem.

breckenridge jazz hands: it would be pretty funny to shove joel in a room full of band kids, theater kids, resident mean girl iskall eightyfive, and xisuma. just imagine it with me. however. know that if you vote for joel to be on the jands, he will be making a brief cameo in my pearl/netty/jimmy precog trio fic that i'm working on as jimmy's replacement on the jands when he dies. for flavor!

anyways, other options!

hades tigers: only hermit teammate would be exil x, which is inherently a little hilarious. anyways these guys live in hell- not really. but they ARE fireproof!

mexico city wild wings: would make him teammates with hypno. all i really knew about the wings was spicy milk (exactly what it sounds like) and the time they tried to sue the entire league so. keep those facts in mind.

chicago firefighters: would make him teammates with tango. and also he would be a firefighter now. like, the profession. blaze joel afterlife smp likers i feel like this would appeal to you somewhat.

atlantis georgias: would make him teammates with xb. if he ends up on the georgias i'm turning him into a sea creature of some kind, so vote for what creature that is if you vote for this option.

philly pies: no hermit teammates here. all i remember about the pies off the top of my head is that they won the first two seasons of blaseball and then proceeded to never win a championship again.

new york millennials: would make him teammates with mumbo. and also housemates, because all the millennials live in an infinite apartment together, which feels appropriate for magic mountain. i could also make him pink here. however putting him on the mills would require me to type millennials more often, which is a word i cannot ever spell. would you do that to me? (/j)

seattle garages: would make him teammates with joe. one large band. if joel joins the garages i will be making him play the drums, of course. also i'll need to decide which garages song(s) i think he wrote.

dallas steaks: would make him teammates with beef. i don't know if i trust joel at a grill enough for this but i also don't know if i don't trust him.

san fransisco lovers: would make him teammates with ren (team captain), skizz, and wels. wow you've found one of the hermit hot spots. anyways this would put him in a medieval-themed, team-wide polycule.

core mechanics: would make him teammates with doc and keralis. i do think this would be an extremely funny trio. these guys live in the core of the world and build cool robots and things.

hellmouth sunbeams: would make him teammates with impulse. the moab desert fell into a hellmouth in season 1, so all the beams are Weird now. joel joining the beams would also make him Weird.

houston spies: would make him teammates with pearl. netty and jimmy were also spies before they died but idk if that'll be relevant to joel idk when i'm inserting him into these teams. anyways top secret escapades on the spies. also they have a secret base on the moon.

miami dale: would make him teammates with scar. the dale are the party time capital of the world and were the last team to ever make the playoffs, qualifying for the first time in SEASON FIFTEEN OF TWENTY FOUR. they never won an internet series but that's less of an accomplishment.

la unlimited tacos: would make him teammates with grian. the tacos tried to do a strike against god one time (it didn't work out but i respect the commitment)

boston flowers: no hermit teammates here. this was my team when blaseball was running and it would make me happy to put a hermit on it but it doesn't feel right for joel unfortunately. i can be convinced, however.

ohio worms: would make him teammates with wormman (aka zedaph in a disguise) and be coached by tfc. the worms are worms. they're in the dirt. self explanatory.

hawai'i fridays: would make him teammates with bdubs. this is also esmp 1 joel's team in the empires au which isn't relevant but is a fun fact (esmp 2 joel is on the lovers). the fridays have a cool goddess and good vibes. except for that time they all died. don't worry they got better.

canada moist talkers: would make him teammates with etho. i don't know if joel could survive in the cold but maybe i'm wrong maybe he'd be fine. maybe he's withstand it just to stake his claim as #1 ethogirl.

charleston shoe thieves: would make him teammates with cub and jevin. would also (maybe) make him get cursed by god but don't worry about that part, worry about the thieves guild he's joining.

baltimore crabs: would make him teammates with helsknight only. also inherently hilarious. this is the divorcee zone also there's a long dead crab goddess in the chesapeake and if you join the crabs parts of your body will slowly turn into crab. we have fun in baltimore.