#writing reference: Food

[exhausted-archivist]

General Culinary Themes of Thedas

Just a little over view of the clear draw of culinary reference for the nations of Thedas. This is based on the provided dishes through out all of the franchise's media. I'm only covering nations we have clear food descriptions on, as well as cultural influence. Which unfortunately means that the Anderfels, Nevarra, the Qun, Rivain, and Tevinter are mostly lacking in clear reference points. But I will touch on them below and elaborate where I can.

Antiva

This one is pretty cut and dry, all the culinary references we have for Antiva are Italian. Thanks to Tevinter Nights with the cacio e pepe, mentioning the traditional ten courses, and the mention of ammazzacaffe in the short story As We Fly. However they have markings for Spanish practices where evening meals typically be eaten at late hours. But overall the current food inspo from media seems to be Italian focused.

Ferelden

Ferelden and by extention their ancestors (Alamarri) and cultural cousins (Avvar and Chasind) are known for its soups, stews, pickled eggs, pickled krone, mutton, roasts, cheese, and Fluffy Mackerel Pie.

Overall the food inspiration for Ferelden is more English in leaning but also surprisingly more modern in reference than other countries in Thedas.

Avvar focus more on long storage foods which leads to a lot of smoked, dried, and pickled foods. Their cuisine seems to echo those of hunter gather cultures in the Arctic circle as their food preparations are with the "long dark" or winter in mind. They forage for things such as fiddleheads and snails, and cook their fish in pungent leaves and clay on banked coals. Utility is the prevailing method, but even with the preference for stews and slow cooking, they highly value spices in which they trade for; Antivan cord-seed, peppercorns, and powdered mustard.

Chasind seemingly have much the same preference and cook style as Fereldans, able to farm and hunt nearly year round. The food we know they have aligns with Ferelden in the fact it is mostly roasts, stews, grains, and the like. Chasind, like Fereldans have a reliance on a protein rich grain called ryott. A fickle crop with a small growing area, but it is used to make a drink called "Wildwine".

Free Marches

Free Marches as a whole are a variety of regions but specifically pull from British, American, and other cultures with overlapping dishes. Examples featuring animals that originate from the Americas like roast turkey being standard across the Free Marches, to dishes like jellied pork feet (various cultures) and Starkhaven Fish and Egg Pie (British, specifically Cornish recipe).

Orlais

French. It is just pulling directly from French food while also putting a fantasy French name on British and American dishes. As we see with Eggs a la Val Foret being a rendition of eggs benedict. Butter soup, which seems to be derived from Northern Franch cuisine. Mad Bernard's Gift of Flesh seems to reference Grimod de La Reyni's "roast without equal", though it is noted that the Romans also created similar nesting roasts.

Orzammar

Orzammar seems more British in concept but also distinctly fantasy based. Given the lore sets them up as heavy importers and most of their domestic food sources being unique to Thedas; giant spiders, brontos, nugs, deep mushrooms, deepstalkers, ect. It is hard to pinpoint a source of inspiration. Their food is steeped in alcohol and most known dishes are ones that overlap across cultures or seem more modern in concept: nug-lets for example call to mind of nuggets.

I would venture to say the reference point is merely fantasy hodgepodge of Europe. Touching on universal dishes, and likely being influenced by the cultures they're importing their goods from - primarily Orlais.

Notes on the Other Nations

Anderfels

We only really have one landmark dish on this so far. Nordbotten Fruit Stew, a dish where you revitalize dried fruit with honey, water, and/or liquor. It is described to be a common and popular dish in the Anderfels. It is also said that very little grows there nor does it grow well, so the small, bitter, and sour fruits they do have are sweetened with vast amounts of honey.

There is no clear culture to pull this from, at least not to my knowledge. This combined with the Anderfels love of ham, that may or may not taste of despair, and the fact that the creature called "the wandering hills" is a delicacy there, I would say there is little concrete reference to go on.

Dalish

Dalish Deep Forest Comfort, is a dish made with string squash, mushrooms, elfroot (spinach), tomatoes, garlic, red peppers, parsley, cheese, edible wildflowers, pine nuts, and butter. A dish with ingredients primary sourced from the Americas and when looking at food history, finding its roots in the indigenous hunting and gathering cultures. Something that is echoed through out the other dishes and ingredients we know they have; halla milk/butter, hearth cakes, and primarily foraged ingredients.

Nevarra

Ambiguous as the only named foods we have with any real world standing aren't easy to pinpoint nor are they isolated to a specific region. The unnamed blueberry pastries that Cassandra ate with her brother, candied fruits (universal), and roasted chestnuts (common in Chinese, Korean, Italian, Portuguese, Spain, Austria, the North American Indigenous, and later American food history).

The Qun

While Origins gave the impression of bland food that focused on utility over flavor, we know that there is more variety than that. They have some degree of sweet bread, savory porridge, and some degree of alcohol for consumption.

Rivain

There are only two dishes we know of from Rivain: Llomerryn red, a spiced red sauce used to be served on a variety of things such as fried or roasted potatoes and fresh oysters. And the Raider Queen's Bread of Many Tongues (bannana bread).

Tevinter

Tevinter is a weird one. While Dorian will mention grapes, and Tevinter Nights describes dates, the depiction of food in the comics is a bit conflicting. In Deception we see depictions of something similar to stuffed grape leaves (dolmas), in Mage Killer we see that the elite dine on cupcakes, donuts, macaroons, candy canes, and other very modern and American foods. We cannot say whether those foods originated in Tevinter or somewhere else and are simply a luxury import. It would make more sense for them to originate in either Orlais or the Free Marches, but as the only place we've seen them is Tevinter, I place them here with a grain of salt.

Sources

World of Thedas Vol. 1 & 2 Dragon Age Origins + DLC Dragon Age 2 + DLC Dragon Age Inquisition + DLC The Last Court Dragon Age Tabletop RPG The Official Cookbook: Tastes of Thedas - Sample Pages

Novels: The Stolen Throne The Calling The Masked Empire Last Flight Tevinter Nights

Comics: Magekiller Knight Errant Deception

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Topics List: Sweets

Word lists may be helpful for some people to overcome writer's block.

CAKES

CANDY

CHOCOLATE

CONFECTIONS

COOKIES

Source ⚜ More: Word Lists ⚜ Topics Lists

[feelo-fick]

it can't be too hard right?

it's easy not to think about things, he tells me i don't think all the time! wait...

—

a scene from a fic that i have no clue if ill finish, let alone post, but look i made fanart of my own thing that doesnt even exist :D

[crabsnpersimmons]

Sun! Sun! MaKe mE SpRiNg RoLlS PlEaSE

‐hungry anon-

oooh springs rolls sound yum! what kind of spring rolls are your favourite?

[souenkun]

Larry's random conversarion lines 🍙

Pokémon Masters EX spoilers ahead!

Random conversation 1:

Ever since I met a certain individual, I now find myself gazing up at the sky every once in a while. There's scenery you'll never even notice if you stick to flat, well-trodden paths. Just something I've observed. I don't dislike the vast, clear sky... But I don't think I can reach it. It's nice to know that there's something like that out there, though.

Random conversation 2:

Pasio seems to have many good restaurants. Ah, I'm not asking for specific recommendations, though... I actually enjoy walking around and looking for a place I might like. That's part of the experience. I seek the exceptional only when it comes to food. Pasio has a variety of cuisines to choose from, so it's hard to stick to just one.

Random conversation 3:

(Player), which do you tend to favor: the exceptional or the average? I was thinking of inviting you to have a meal sometime. Casually figuring out your client's preferences is a special skill that you learn as a salaried employee.

Random conversation 4:

Lunchtime is one of the few things that a salaried employee like me can look forward to at work... We can decide whether to spend that precious time eating something familiar or trying out a new restaurant. It's not just about the meal. The decision-making process leading up to it is also something to look forward to.

Random conversation 5:

People, Pokémon... There's no need to overcomplicate things. Nowadays people only seem to want a shock factor. Something weird, something bizarre. When all's said and done, simplicity is strongest.

Random conversation 6:

You don't necessarily have to follow every instruction from your boss. But I pretend to follow them, at least, so I can avoid hassles later on. That's a technique you can use to get by in the workplace. Keep it in mind.

Random conversation 7:

I'm here in this famous tourist spot, but I can't really spread my wings while my boss has her eye on me. I guess I'll do what I usually do on my lunch break and find a spot to Roost...

[macgyvermedical]

Food Consistency

My wife (who has gastroparesis and frequently needs to go on liquid diets) was watching some tiktoks about people on liquid diets.

People in both the videos and the comments had extremely different (and often startlingly wrong) ideas of what a liquid diet is.

So I figured I would do a post to clarify for anyone who might be confused, and maybe save you from having a surgery rescheduled due to eating the wrong things.

Clear Liquid Diet:

A clear liquid diet is a diet where ONLY liquids you can see through are permitted. That means no other solid food (that won't turn into a clear liquid in your stomach), no chunks, and no milk. If you're prepping for a surgery or colonoscopy there might also be limits on what food colorings are permitted as well (usually red and purple). A clear liquid diet includes:

Water

Flavored drinks (sports drinks, soft drinks, Kool Aid, etc...)

Broth/stock (vegetable, chicken, beef, etc...)

Popsicles/italian ice

Fruit juices (no pulp)

Gelatin

Coffee/Tea

Specialty clear liquid protein shakes

Full Liquid Diet:

A full liquid diet is a diet where ONLY clear liquids and cloudy/opaque "full" liquids are consumed. No other solid foods and no chunks are permitted. A full liquid diet includes:

Everything on the clear liquid list

Milk and milkshakes

Yogurt (no chunks)

Ice cream (no chunks)

Pudding

Custard

Blended Diet:

A blended diet is a regular diet in which the food has been blended with water. Usually, this is the consistency necessary for a gastric feeding tube.

Everything on the full liquid list

Smoothies

Blended soups (no chunks)

Applesauce

Literally anything as long as it's been put in a blender and is now liquid-y

Pureed Diet:

A pureed diet is a diet in which the food has been mashed into a very fine mash. It can be thicker and drier than a blended diet and the food can be "molded" into shapes that resemble the original food on a plate. This is good for people who have few to no teeth or pain with chewing.

Everything on the blended list

Mashed potatoes (no chunks)

Anything the consistency of mashed potatoes

Mechanical Soft Diet:

A mechanical soft diet is one that is easy to chew. Unlike pureed, there can be small chunks. Examples include:

Everything on the pureed list

Oatmeal/cream of wheat/cream of rice

Very well cooked vegetables

Ground and finely chopped meats

Poached or soft boiled eggs

Cottage cheese

[fatedroses]

When a test of a prince's taste backfires horribly. Or, how Alisaie gave herself psychic damage for not realizing this man may not act like how she imagines and she's suddenly being thanked for giving the worst food on the star to him.

(or, even, indirectly giving Meteor and Tsukiko psychic damage as Meteor refuses to let Zenos eat that god forsaken bread and has to hold him back like a misbehaving cat away from it.)

[turning-monday-blue]

Sweets (1/?)

The snugness was barely tolerable. She had overestimated herself. She looked surreptitiously over her shoulder and ducked around a corner. The only thing following her were her bad decisions, but she felt chased all the same.

Okay. Calm down. Breathe (but not too deep). Evaluate the situation. What are your options? Can you loosen anything?

She looked down at herself. Past her swollen breasts, past a fluffy roll of upper belly, she examined her waistline. Nope. The button was the only thing keeping the zipper together, and vice versa. For the millionth time, she lamented her morning. What a bright idea, interviewing for a job with a snack company. She was very well aware of how sweets affected her.

Could she find somewhere discrete to wait out her... little metabolic mishap? She looked around for a discrete nook to accommodate her fresh bulk.

The little atrium she had found had a series of plush benches around the walls. She sighed and headed for the one in the corner. She sucked in as best she could and sat down. Some horny little corner of her mind made note of how it felt as her tight belly shifted against her puffy thighs.

Sitting like this, only barely upright lest bending too far compromise her jeans, she couldn't ignore how her waistband was trying to cut her in half. She thought back to how she had done this to herself. The lovely HR manager had very explicitly pointed out the basket of the company's sugary offerings there in the middle of interview table. The woman had been insistent that she try at least one of each, gushing like any good salesperson about their rich flavors and subtle textures, occasionally even peeling one out of its wrapper and handing it to her.

How could she have done anything but eat what was offered to her? And by a beautiful woman, no less. She knew how her body reacted to food like this, but she had been desperate to make a good impression, to look good and eager and employable. A good girl. She ignored that last thought, and the accompanying shiver through her frazzled tummy.

She closed her eyes and tried to steady herself. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth (but not too deeply). All she had to do was calm down, and give her body a chance to do the same. Then she could find a back door to sneak out of, go home and hope that somehow that she hadn't blown the interview.

She opened her eyes again and caught sight of herself in a mirror across the room. Holy crap, she was huge. She had been her normal, narrow self, and her outfit had fit very very normally, when she had arrived. But now? Now it looked positively painted onto her. Her breasts were trying to spill out of her tastefully exposed bra and over the lapel of her blouse. She was more balloon than woman at this point. She ignored another tingle.

As she watched herself in the mirror, she noticed something change. Slowly but surely, the last wrinkle in her blouse smoothed out. Uh oh. That meant... she was still filling out. Panic. She tingled again.

No. No. Calm. Breathe (but not too deep). She closed her eyes again, and could feel her plump body quietly grow. Crap.

Panic. Calm. Breathe (but not too deep). Calm.

Maybe if she didn't look, it would go away. That had never worked before, sure, but there's a first time for everything, right?

As she rationalized to herself, she noticed the sound of heels clacking towards her hiding spot. Panic!

Maybe their owner would pass and not notice her?

No such luck.

The woman who had interviewed her rounded the corner.

"There you are!"

She struggled to stand. So tight.

"You left your purse upstairs. I get it, though. Interviews can be pretty stressful, huh?"

Like nothing had changed. Did this woman not notice that she was currently three times the size she was when she had shown up? Could this woman not hear every seam in her clothes creaking in harmony? Could the woman not see how wide and deep and round she was becoming?

"It's such a beautiful handbag, I almost wanted to keep it for myself!" The woman laughed. "Oh well."

She took the bag from the woman. "O-oh! Thank you!" Leapt out of her.

"Listen," said the woman, "technically I have to review a few other candidates, but I think you're a shoo-in for the position." The woman moved closer. "No one else has shown so much... enthusiasm." Closer still. She basked in the smell of the woman's musky perfume.

"Oh... that's great!" she managed to squeak out.

"In fact," the woman continued, "if you'd like to come back upstairs, we can have you fill out the onboarding paperwork now, so you don't have to come back just to fill out some forms if... when we give you the job." So close now.

"Um! Okay!" What.

The woman placed a gentle hand on the side of her massive, tight, growing belly. "Listen, between you and me, that passion you showed today will take you far with us. Do you feel like the offer is fair? We can negotiate further if you need." The woman's eyes were so sincere.

What was going on here? She could barely think.

The woman placed her other hand on top of her belly, well hidden by her burgeoning breasts. "I do hope you'll say yes."

"Um..."

There was a pop. Her button pinged away across the room from her overburdened jeans. It made a little thwack sound as it hit the far wall. Her zipper flew down, zizzing audibly. Her belly erupted through the breach. Her blouse retreated upwards. The tingling became a roar. All the while, the woman, as though no tectonic shifts were happening right there and then, continued to implore with borderline puppydog eyes.

The world held its breath with her. How had this woman not reacted to any of that?! What? Was the woman still waiting for an answer?

"...okay?" She tried. She wasn't sure if her brain was still working. "Sure?" Best to stick to small sentences.

"Yay!" cheered the woman, "I really think you'll love it here!" The woman launched in for a quick hug around her exposed belly. The woman's arms didn't go even halfway around her. And still the woman didn't seem to notice that anything was wrong.

"Well! If you'll follow me back to the elevators, we can at least get the formalities out of the way."

The woman took her by the hand and pulled, still gentle. She followed, mutely. Even the horniest, shamiest corners of her mind were silent, waiting with bated breath.

As they reached the elevators, the woman pushed the up button and stood to the side. "Please," said the woman, "after you!"

On autopilot now, she stepped into the elevator and... wedged into the door. Stuck. What. Panic? Calm? The elevator dinged again as if to say "I'm waiting!"

The cold of the elevator doors brought her back to reality. She put a hand on either side of herself and tried to pull herself in. As though this were somehow normal, the woman chirped "Oh, here, let me help!"

She felt a gentle pair of hands press into her oceanic bottom. Her horny brain thrilled again. She clamped down on those thoughts. No time to be a pervert.

Between the two of them, they muscled her into the elevator. She turned to face the doors in time to watch the woman press into her in order to let the doors close. Normally equipped for eight full-sized human adults, due to her immensity, it very barely fit two.

"We need floor thirty," said the woman into her barely contained cleavage. She tried to reach for the panel of buttons, but by now there was simply too much of her in the way.

"I've got it," said the woman, reaching behind her without looking.

They rode the thirty floors quietly. She could feel herself still widening, pressing towards the walls of the elevator car. Her embarrassment had burnt out, leaving only a kind of stunned peace in her mind. She tried to will her body away from the woman, but where else could it really go?

By the time they reached their destination, the woman was firmly pressed against the doors, still showing no indication of the extra-ordinariness of the situation.

As the doors opened, the woman stepped back, grabbed her hands, and pulled as she tried to wiggle through the door. Eventually she floomped through, and they set off toward the HR suite.

Full-on waddling now, she felt an inner tension release. She had stopped growing. Relief. If nothing else, at least things had stopped getting worse. Sure, she was almost round enough to roll. Tingle. Sure, her clothing had been reduced to barely covering her... rude areas. Tingle. Sure, a beautiful woman was acting as though this was all perfectly normal. Tingle tingle tingle. But hey, at least it finally wasn't getting worse.

The woman pushed open the double doors to the HR suite and welcomed her in with another glittering smile. They seemed to be the only ones there. The woman led her, patiently, to the front desk area. The woman ducked behind the desk, looking for something.

"Hmm, it looks like I'll need to go print off more some more copies of the forms. Shouldn't take more than a minute or two." Finally she'd have a moment to collect herself.

Then the woman produced a basket, laden with various goodies, from underneath the desk. "Here! Help yourself, sorry to make you wait." Uh.

"Oh, here, allow me," said the woman, picking out a chocolate confection, peeling it, and pressing it into her mouth. "I'll be right back!"

She chewed and swallowed the treat.

Uh oh.

[chaoswarfare]

dp x dc prompt #23

Danny gets summoned by the justice league, but he’s tired, just finished a ghost fight, missed his morning coffee, is running late on several college assignments, and has been summoned multiple times this week.

Or- Danny screams at the justice league for summoning him until someone offers to help with his rogues and homework, not that they really know what they’re offering to do. The summoning is wrapped up, the big bad is defeated, and Danny gets to go home. Too bad that one of the heroes is absolutely infatuated.

[ichverdurstehier]

What is a non spicy Chinese food that is sepereate ? Autism friendly pls? Ideas, I am writing a story. What does the lan sect eat?

[ahsokathegray]

TBB S3 E10 & 11 Concept Art

Caraad

Ailish’s home

Bayrn

Imperial Orbit Space Station

Tantiss Vault

Moon Spaceport

Pabu Festival, food, alley, & dock

Bonus:

[fridayiminlovemp3]

that weird ass fucking lifetime christmas movie that’s thinly veiled fan fiction about taylor swift and travis kelce makes me so uncomfortable like that is FREAK behaviour, making that a real movie is FREAK BEHAVIOUR. i can’t even watch the trailer for it it just freaks me out

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Reference: A Historical Menu

Origin — Food — Drink

1900 — tacos, quiche, schwarma, pizza, osso bucco, paella, tuna, goulash, hamburger, mousse, borscht, grapefruit, éclair, chips, bouillabaisse, mayonnaise, ravioli, crêpes, consommé — Coca Cola, soda water, riesling

1800 — spaghetti, soufflé, bechamel, ice cream, kipper, chowder, sandwich, jam, meringue, hors d‘oeuvre, welsh rabbit — tequila, seltzer, whisky

1700 — avocado, paté, muffin, vanilla, mincemeat, pasta, salmagundi, yoghurt, kedgeree — gin, port, champagne, brandy, sherbet

1600 — omelette, litchi, tomato, curry, chocolate, banana, macaroni, caviar, pilav, anchovy, maize, potato, turkey, artichoke, scone — tea, sherry, coffee, sillabub

1500 — marchpane (marzipan), whiting, offal, melon, pineapple, mushroom, salmon, partridge

Middle English — venison, pheasant, crisp, cream, bacon, biscuit, oyster, toast, pastry, jelly, ham, veal, mustard, beef, mutton, brawn, sauce, potage, broth, herring, meat, cheese — muscatel, rhenish (rhine wine), claret, ale

Old English — cucumber, mussel, butter, fish, bread — beer, wine, water

The evolution of terms for food and drink is an interesting reflection of the history of cultural contact between English-speaking countries and the rest of the world (G. Hughes, 1988).

Source ⚜ Food History ⚜ Writing Notes & References ⚜ Word Lists

[luv-again]

I only wrote just over 100 words last night, which is not rly progress, but I did write it all in clever metaphor relating to the sin in particular so - progress ??

[songofstrawhats]

One thing that doesn't come up a lot is how Luffy is basically immune to poison

I think it would be really hilarious for there to be a scenario where someone offers Luffy this great feast, and they think they're so slick because it's SUPER poisoned only for Luffy to eat the whole thing without issue and pledge his undying gratitude

And like, what do you do from there??? 'hey i tried to kill u why didn't it take?' Nope, Luffy believes in you now, and that's the sort of thing you have to live up to. You're besties with the (future?) pirate king this is just your life now

[thatwildnya]

Ch. 6: Filling the Powder Keg part 1

TW: none

chatters

Wild: As I promised after the Riddle poll, here is the next chapter for the centaur au! Riddle won't be making his entrance just yet, sorry to disappoint you Riddle lover's. Today we'll be welcoming Vil, Leona, and Ruggie into the story. Although the spotlight is mostly on Vil for this chapter, the other 2 don't get a single line. But don't worry, they'll get their turn later!

nya: this chapter was originally gonna longer but i convinced wild to split it in 2 parts since its been so long since she's posted any actual content for the au. praise me for my hard work.

Vil: leopard

Leona: manticore (no barbed tail)

Ruggie: spotted hyena

This time you were able to catch him in the act, opening the door just as you were about to leave for your weekly trip to the grocery store. Maybe this was a sign from higher powers you should plan to return before afternoon.

“Ah! My beloved nepiece!” Everyone's favorite bird man greets you as you open the door. You step back in surprise, startled by his loud squawking. You weren’t exactly paying attention. Or particularly wake.

“Good afternoon!”

“Hi…”

He steps aside to reveal, surprise surprise, more pets to live in your wonderful shack of a home. (read: it is not wonderful you bake when it’s hot and freeze when it's cold) Though you could see two of them standing behind him even if he hadn’t. Centaurs tend to be quite tall. It is very important for people to know how big a centaur gets if they aren’t fully grown before adopting.

“Meet your new friends! This here is Leona, he’s a manticore.” Leona was taller than Idia to your surprise. The merboys sometimes talked about other centaurs that had been ripped from their homes when asked about their lives before coming to live with you. They had talked about how they’d seen two males and three females being dragged past their tank to be used for breeding. The males came up to Idia’s around shoulders. The females were just small enough to be visibly shorter than the males.

Maybe it was the wings. Those big leathery wings.

“The little one hiding is Ruggie, he’s a hyena.” you internally scream noticing the little yeen, he was hiding under the soon to be introduced pet. His big eyes stare up at you with curiosity. You wanted to squish his cheeks and rub his belly. Your hands itched to do just that.

“And last but not least, meet Vil! He’s a leopard and trained to be a show centaur.” Vil was studying you out with a frown, not bothering to hide his disapproval. Rude much.

“Now, we must make haste! The truck is due in two hours or I’ll have to pay extra!” Crowley slips past to set aside his hat and cane that would get in the way, “help me move the furniture!”

With a groan you spin on your heel. Tossing your bags to the side, you tell a blurry eyed Idia and bottle sipping Ortho to lend your uncle a hand.

“RISE AND SHINE BOYS.” you yell up the stairs, “GET UP. WE’VE GOT SOME NEWBIES.”

A sharp pained yelp followed by the unmistakable clamoring of fighting began above.

“Knock it off you three!”

“Deuce started it!” “Because you stepped on my tail!” “I wouldn’t have if Sebek quit pinning me down with snuggles when we sleep!” “I don’t do that!” “Yes you do! You’re worse than Deuce!” “Stop lying! Me and Sebek don’t do that!” “I’d never snuggle with a lowly dog!”

Finger starts tapping the railing.

“I’m a wolf! Not some dumb domestic pet dog!”

“But you roll over for master whenever they start petting you! You won’t even fight them if they take away something you’re chewing on! That’s what a pet dog would do!”

Eyes close.

“Well at least I can hunt!”

“I can do that too!”

“Barely! You were fed and spoiled by Lilia and Malleus while I fended for myself!”

Fingers pinch the bridge of your nose.

“Hey you wouldn’t have lasted a day if I didn’t help you! You were a big crybaby that ran away from everything! You’d be dead without me!”

“You were so bad at hunting you could only dumpster dive for food! We’d be starving if I didn’t pick up your slack!”

“Well I’m braver! You’d cower and hide whenever a cat so much as looked at you!”

“You’re scared of cats? Hahaha! A dog scared of cats!”

Head tilts to the ceiling.

“Sh-shut up! Alley cats are mean! Your spoiled butt wouldn’t get it!”

“Nuh-uh! I’m not spoiled!”

“Yeah you are!”

“You’re both spoiled!”

Eyebrow twitches.

“Shut up Deuce!”

“Make me you stupid heads!”

“Fine, I will!”

Eyes open.

“BOYS GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW OR ELSE.” your foul language puts an end to the squabbling.

“That’s bad language~” “master shrimpy said a bad word!~” your eye twitches, “if you have time to eavesdrop you have time to unpack you slimy pool noodles.”

“We weren’t eavesdropping.” “yeah, you’re so loud I bet the neighbors heard your potty mouth!”

Spinning around you grab the naughty twins by their waists and head for the entrance.

“Shouldn’t we wait on the porch? We might turn back in the middle.” Jade points out as you take them with you outside.

“Bad boys get to suffer in the sun.” you drop them once you’re out of the shadow cast by the porch ceiling.

“But our fins will dry out!”

“Yeah we can’t hide them yet!”

“Do you hear that? It’s the sound of me not giving a fuck.” a smile creeps on your face as the two whine and groan, calling you a bully and spitful potty mouth as they half heartedly dig their webby hands into your thigh. You tune them out. Azul will definitely make fun of them if they end up having to army crawl to get back inside.

~~~

One hour later of Vil shouting to be careful with his boxes and furniture you finally find a moment to take a breather. Fanning yourself with your shirt you think about how sore you’ll be in the morning. And you need to shower less you desire to be stink eyed at the store.

A shadow looms over you, blocking the ball of gas frying you alive. You look up, smiling at your light blocking savior, “Thanks Silvs.”

The foxboy returns your smile, offering you a glass of water. You accept, leaning back into his soft chest as he settles behind you. His hands slip under your arms to rest in your lap. The subtle ba-bump of his heart adds to the chill atmosphere he’s always surrounded with. Too bad he was warm blooded, you wouldn’t be cooling down as much as you’d like. But you will suffer. You want a backrest.

Enjoying the silence you watch the others continue with their labor. A laugh is shared when a dust cloud is sprung from a dropped moving blanket, sending multiple into a sneezing fit. The sight brings up memories from when you’d first moved in. Silver had daily sneezing fits until you did a proper dust of all the parts of the house you frequented. You had some videos of him sneezing up a storm. Your favorite was the one where he sneezed with so much force he ended up tumbling backwards into a sleeping Lilia. The father son duo’s shocked faces were priceless. Nothing in this cruel world could ever convenience you to delete this treasure of memory.

You find yourself taking his hands in yours as you mosey through memory lane. His hands were so much bigger than when you first met. Before his dwarfed yours. Now the opposite was true. Eek this mushy stuff suddenly has you feeling old.

“Do you want me to go shopping with you?” he speaks while you stretch forward to grab a paw for toe bean squishing, “you look pretty exhausted.”

“Yes, that'd be wonderful thank you. I’m sure mister fancy pants over there is going to be a picky eater.” Silver chuckles, massaging your shoulders. His toes curl slightly when you squish them.

“Better keep father away from the kitchen in that case.” you share another laugh.

~~~

Surprise surprise! Both Silver and Vil tag along to the store. The leopard had insisted on coming to make sure you got the right ingredients for his meals. And dear lord were you glad Silver was there. Not even 15 minutes in and you were an inch away from blowing a gasket. He was truly your guardian angel in these trying times.

Vil wouldn’t allow the purchase of any frozen foods and forced you to learn how to tell if the fresh fruit and vegetables weren’t prematurely picked or over ripe. He wouldn’t let you buy any premade meals, criticizing you for feeding your pets something so unhealthy. He wouldn’t even let you buy the cereal the younger boys liked, saying it was too sugary for them.

By the time you made it to the bakery section you were fuming. Silver had kept trying to reason with Vil but only managed to succeed a few times in getting him to come to a compromise. Bless this beautiful young taur for being your rock in these trying times.

“Don’t get the loafs that are about to expire!” Vil swatted at your hand like a toy for the umpteenth time, “besides this brand isn’t nearly as healthy as…” he starts another tangent, padding over to another display table to get the “correct” bread. You grit your teeth, hand clenching. Silver sets a hand on your shoulder with a squeeze, doing his best to ground you. You give him a strained smile.

While he’s picking the “correct bread” you slip away to grab something for dessert for the welcome dinner for the newbies.

“Now what do you think you’re doing?” Vil hissed seeing you return with one of those large cakes that could be used for any special occasion. Or if you just wanted cake. Nothing wrong with getting cake for the hell of it.

Your grip tightens on the dessert, “it’s tradition to have a welcoming dinner for new residents.” you state simply. You swear if he pushes your buttons one more time…

“Well there’s no need to buy low quality desserts like that. We will have one professionally made, I will not eat something so cheap. Put it back.”

Okay, that’s it fucker.

You open your mouth to tear him a new one-

“That’s enough.” Silver puts an arm in front of you as he steps forwards, baring his fangs at Vil, “you have been nothing but rude since you arrived, ordering them around like they’re your servant. You seem to have forgotten they are the one in charge, you are not higher in the hierarchy than them. If anything, you are at the bottom considering you have only just arrived.” Silver walks to stand in front of Vil. The leopard centaur has gone quiet, his ears flat against his head as the taller continues.

“It’s time you learn your place and act accordingly. If you don’t you’ll have more than me stepping in to show you.” color you both surprised. Silver had never bared his fangs at anyone before. Not even when Floyd was trying to annoy him into fighting him.

Sure you knew he was protective of you. It was because of him Floyd and Jade no longer drew blood from you when they were being playful. Silver had dove into the tank and dragged both of them out with ease after seeing them chomp down on your arm hard enough to make you bleed. He held them down until they’d stopped thrashing. Not once did he growl or cause harm other than when he fished them out. He just, sat on and stared them down. After that they gave him the same respect they gave you and Lilia.

Then there was when Sebek and Malleus accepted you as their master. Sebek didn’t take well to others taking up Malleus’ attention. He’d get extremely aggressive and snap at you for the smallest things concerning the dragon. It only got worse when Deuce and Jack were added to the mix. He was especially aggressive with Deuce, who had taken a particular liking to Malleus as a fellow reptilian.

Your fox knight had lost it on Sebek after he chomped with enough force to break two of your fingers. Silver had chased him damn near around the entire house. He was screeching at him with his high pitched bark the entire chase, nipping at his tail. You had to hold the poor gator in your arms away from him until Deuce and Jack were able to get the other two's attention as they were enjoying some flying time.

Sebek only gives you love nibbles now.

Oh and there was that time Grim nearly set your ass on fire when you made him share one of those double popsicles because you only had two and there were four of them. Silver seemingly materialized from thin air to snatch the gray kitten away before he’d even stopped being a mini flamethrower.

Also there was that one occasion with a group of karens and kevins that felt entitled to your property. They had been using your yard as a spot to let their dogs run around before you’d taken up residence. They never picked up after their pooches and got mad when you had the boys get rid of the overgrown garden (if it could even be called that by then). They’d been taking whatever vegetables there were in the mini jungle to eat while their untrained purebred pups had a field day.

One karen had a large dog that would attack any animals it saw outside the group. It made the mistake of going after Jack and Ortho. The two were chasing a butterfly while you were hanging up laundry. The dog bolted straight for them as soon as it was free from the car. Unfortunately Silver was helping you with the laundry.

Least to say none of them trespassed again.

…

Okay, maybe you shouldn’t be so surprised.

Anyway, I digress.

Vil didn’t submit completely, only shrinking back slightly and holding Silver’s glare. Thankfully the fox has settled down a lot since the incidents above. Acknowledging the leopard’s behavior change with a snort, he took the cake from you to put in the cart.

“Ruggie likes donuts more.” Vil mutters, now refusing to look at either of you. Ears slightly drooping, he mumbles the hyena doesn’t have a favorite flavor in particular but gets really happy if they have icing and sprinkles.

Silver waits for your okay before heading back to the bakery for some swapping.

Vil follows behind you for the first time since you entered the store, staring at the ground. He doesn’t say anything for the rest of the trip.