#writing more shit down so i actually remember to do it

[grayve-mistake]

THINGS YOU CAN DO TO AVOID BEING THIS PERSON (AND OTHER RED FLAGS)

Communicate openly and honestly when you have an issue with someone. Don't talk behind their backs, don't bottle it up until it festers and explodes, just ask about what's bothering you. Good friends will hear you out (and yeah, you might disagree on some things. That's normal too. Have a conversation anyway!)

Don't jump to conclusions or accusations about their character while emotions are high. Doing this will make the situation more hostile and creates unnecessary tension and mistrust.

("I disagree with what you said/I feel uncomfortable, is there a way to avoid this in the future?/let's talk about it", not "what you posted is weird and I think you have a problem". People don't like feeling antagonized and will be more willing to listen if you don't!)

Communicate about your personal needs. It's ok to have boundaries and triggers and things you'd rather not hear about. It's not ok to expect other people to read your mind or be able to remember something you said once 3 1/2 years ago at the bottom of a long thread with 2 likes on it.

Write trigger lists in your group chats! Talk directly to the people you're close to about it! If someone is otherwise harmless but does/has something triggering or upsetting to you specifically, it's ok to just not interact with them personally. It doesn't have to be a callout, you can just block people, actually.

If it's someone you know in-person and the trigger is still present, then it might be time to have a one-on-one discussion with them about it and see what compromises you both can make for a more comfortable atmosphere.

TALK BIG ISSUES OUT PRIVATELY. The really important shit that could lead to a fracture in the relationship should only be discussed in an environment where you both feel safe and like you can have a say. Dogpiling will get you nowhere and makes the person you should WANT to actually ADDRESS the issue in a responsible way suddenly feel cornered and threatened, and will likely cause them to double down. No one's immune to this.

"Callouts" should be an absolute last resort AFTER you've privately discussed the issue and only if it's continuous and causing a serious amount of harm to multiple people. Avoid callout posts whenever possible. Try to leave personal issues out of the public eye when you can.

Try to hold yourself to the same standards you hold other people. If you wouldn't be able to accommodate someone in the ways you're asking everyone else to accommodate you, that might be entitlement! Work on it, try to remember that you're imperfect too and that's normal. If you feel comfortable calling out other people for all kinds of things but can't handle any constructive criticism of your own, it might be time to rethink some things about your approach. It's hard, it'll never not be hard, but try to listen when people try to start a conversation with you about an issue THEY'RE having, too. You aren't always in the right! People fuck up all the time! Talk about your own perspectives and where you're coming from and try to reach a point of understanding with eachother to resolve the problem.

Finally, and maybe most importantly:

This goes for both sides of the issue! Friend group feels toxic or unwelcoming? Unaccomodating? Tense? You can just leave!

It doesn't have to require long callout posts and twitter essays. If an environment seems like it's promoting unhealthy or problematic behaviors you're always allowed to just get outta there! You don't gotta justify yourself! Sometimes you just gotta trust your gut and step away. You can't always control what other people do but you can control your own actions in response, and that's important.

(These are all just based on my personal experience with these kinds of issues as someone who spends a little too much time online and has seen a lot over the years, so if you have any more input feel free to add it in the notes!)

anyway in the hopes that i can save just one person from living the horror of my 20s: if you have a friend that seems a little too invested in callouts i hope you can get out of there safely

[idkwhatimdoinghere1655]

Hi! I love your writing style and I had this in the back of my mind for a bit and I’m hoping you would put this into words if it inspires you but imagine Lando and Daniel wanting to prank Max before a big conference by slipping a little blue pill in his redbull but max has a fall that morning and scrapes his palms, and all of it culminates into him hiding in the locker changing rooms, taunted by his friends, unable to take care of himself because of the injuries and the reader as his PR manager finds him like 20 minutes before the conference and tries to convince him to let her help him out as “professionally” as possible (like a handjob maybe?) and maybe max wants to return the favour at some point?

Blue Pills - Max Verstappen

<word count - 3137>

warnings: badly written smut, technically a drink spiking, not proof read

"Max is too calm, we have to do something big this time." Daniel said, thinking over his time in Red Bull with the Dutchman. It was no secret that Daniel and Lando got up to all sorts of trouble together, and now Max Verstappen was their next victim.

So far, they had kept their pranks relatively harmless. They had stolen Charles' phone and texted Carlos some rather... risque messages, they had replaced Nicholas' Nutella with marmite, and they had stolen Kimi's drink. He wasn't very bothered.

Most of them were funny. Well, Charles didn't find it overly funny but Carlos did, so that was at least half of their goal accomplished. For Max, they needed something that was more than just a bit of a laugh. They needed something that people would remember. 

"We could try and stick something on his back?" Lando suggested, and Daniel shook his head immediately. 

"No. We need something that will actually rattle him. It's hard to get to Max." he said, wracking his brains for something. If only there was a way to- oh, oh. Now that would be good. "I've got it," Daniel beamed, the plan formulating perfectly in his head. 

"We've got to be sneaky about it, but we can definitely pull it off. I need you to be a distraction for me, OK? Then we just let the magic happen," Daniel said, and Lando was curious to know what the Australian had up his sleeve, but he was sure that he'd find out sooner rather than later. 

"OK, sure." Lando nodded, already liking where this was going. The papaya pair planned how they were going to execute their devious plan, trying to keep their voices down so that no one would hear them. 

Meanwhile, Max was in medical. On track, he was careful and clinical beyond belief. He didn't make many mistakes. But when his two feet were firmly, or not so, planted on the ground, he was one of the clumsiest men you could find. 

He was literally just walking through the paddock, when he tripped over his own feet and fell to the tarmac. He held his hands out to break the fall, ending up with his palms getting grazed to hell on the rough surface. Thankfully, there was no one around to witness it apart from you, but he could live with that. 

Being Max's PR manager meant that you spent a lot of time with him weekend in and weekend out, so you had become accustomed to his spells of ditsiness. He should have been glad you were there, since he wouldn't have gone to medical if you hadn't forced him to. 

All they did was clean them and wrap them, but he looked like a boxer walking around with his hands wrapped. At least he could hold things and at least he could still race. He just had to look at the positives.

To add insult to injury, Max had a press conference to go to. But first, you dropped him off to the hospitality centre for him to take a second and relax before he had to go into the worst part of his weekend. Of course, he wouldn't be Max if he didn't have his trusty Red Bull in hand, so you picked an ice cold one up for him on your way. 

"You better be here when I go in or else I'm not going." he said, and you knew he was deadly serious. Max didn't give a shit, if he didn't want to go, then he wouldn't. The only reason that he ever went to any of his menial media obligations was for you. 

Your entire job was making sure he said the right thing and was where he was meant to be on time. He felt bad for giving you the amount of hassle that he did, but every driver did it to their PR manager. He knew how hard you worked, so he wasn't going to ruin it by being too much of a handful for you. 

You left him there while you went to run some quick errands, watching as Daniel and Lando approached him. Once you were gone, they waited for him to put his drink down before springing into action. "Hey Max, did I show you that video I got in Thailand? Of the waterfall in the sunset?" Lando asked, ready for everything to fall into place. 

"No, you didn't. Show me." Max said. He was intrigued.

"My phone's on charge. C'mon, I need a walk." Lando said.

"Sure," the Dutchman nodded. He had taken the bait. Lando and Max walked out of sight and left Daniel to carry out his master plan. Looking around to make sure that no one had their eyes on him, he produced two little blue pills from his pocket. 

They were embarrassing to buy, and he had to send some poor intern to get them so that he wouldn't be recognised. The last thing that he needed was people thinking that he needed viagra to get it up, because he most certainly didn't. 

Daniel wasn't actually sure how many he needed, as the pack stated various amounts for various levels of arousal. So, he opted for the one that he thought meant 'hard enough to be visible, but not so hard that it's impossible to get rid of'. 

He popped them through the top of the Red Bull can, watching the blue dissolve into the energy drink through the hole with a fizz. Just as the tablets had melted down, he heard Max and Lando's voices behind him. This was going to be amazing.

Max sat back down in his seat, holding Lando's phone in his hand as he scrolled through the videos from his trip to Thailand. With the other, he reached out and took a few sips of the Red Bull. Daniel and Lando glanced at each other, trying not to give away the fact that they were up to something. It tasted slightly off, but he didn't think much of it. 

You had gotten a fresh one from the fridge; he had seen you do it. It was probably just the heat making it taste a little weird. 

All of the drivers had been pretty on edge around them, not wanting to fall prey to their predatory pranks. Max didn't seem overly phased, though. Then again, he was used to it from having Daniel as a teammate and Lando as a long time friend. 

After talking for long enough, Max had finished the Red Bull. Daniel was stressing slightly. He was trying not to be too obvious as he looked at Max's crotch, looking for any sort of sign that the pills were actually working. 

Max, on the other hand, was trying to ignore the odd feeling of arousal that he was currently experiencing. For some reason, he was suddenly horny. Glancing down, he saw the slight bulge that was already forming in his jeans .

There wasn't even anything around him that he would find even remotely arousing, and now he was getting a full on hard on out of nowhere? Daniel and Lando both noticed the flush in his cheeks as he fidgeted in his seat, knowing that their plan had worked. 

"Just going to the toilet," Max choked out, wanting to get out of there before the extent of his problem could be realised. He was gone before the McLaren boys could make a comment, and they were going to let him sweat for a few minutes. 

"Did you see his face? Priceless," Daniel laughed.

"That is a genius idea, I like it." Lando giggled back, standing and going to follow Max to the changing rooms. He wanted to see this for himself. 

Daniel followed, both of them walking in to find Max pacing the locker rooms with a massive tent in his jeans. "Damn, Max. Didn't know you enjoyed media day that much." Lando laughed, and Max instantly knew. He had fallen victim to the infamous papaya pranksters.

"What did you do?" he asked, unable to hide the bite in his tone. He was all for harmless pranks, but this was downright humiliating. If people found out that he had gotten an erection in the middle of the paddock, he'd never live it down. Max Verstappen, 4 time world champ and the guy who gets bricked up when he has to do an interview. 

"We didn't do anything-" Daniel started with a smirk before Max cut him off. 

"What the fuck did you two idiots do?!" Max shouted, not caring who heard. 

"We just gave you one or two of those blue things..." Lando trailed off, suddenly thinking that this joke had gone a little too far. 

"Viagra? You gave me fucking viagra?! I've got a press conference!" Max raged, now realising that is all made sense. The sudden arousal, Daniel and Lando being a bit weird all day, the strange taste of his drink. They had spiked him, and now he was hard as a rock and had no way to deal with it. There was half an hour before the press conference, and he knew that this stuff lasted a while if the problem wasn't taken care of. 

That was when another issue cropped up: he couldn't take care of it. His hands were bandaged up and, even in his state, that would not feel good at all. There was no way that he could hide it, either. He was screwed. 

"Only two." Daniel clarified, as if that would make the situation better. Looking between Max, Lando, and Max's dick, Daniel quickly sussed out that this may not have been his brightest idea to date. They'd stick to prank texts next time. Well, if there was a next time if Max didn't murder both of them right then and there. 

"Fuck off, both of you. I'm not dealing with you and this at the same time," he warned, and they took the hint and walked out with their tails between their legs. The pair stayed silent as they left, and they spotted you stood in hospitality. You were looking for Max. 

"Have you two seen Max? He hasn't run off, has he?" you joked, but the looks on their faces told you that now certainly wasn't the time for joking.

"He's in the locker rooms. He's got a small... issue." Lando said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. You didn't know what they meant, so you took it upon yourself to go to the changing rooms. 

"Max? It's me. We've got to go." you called, opening the door and stepping through. 

"No, wait out there-" he started, but you were already in the room. Max was sat there, his jeans on the bench next to him while his lower half was only covered by his boxers. That was when you saw it. Max Verstappen. The man you spent every weekend with. The man that you worked closely with was sat in the locker rooms with a painfully hard dick. 

"What the hell happened to you?" you asked, trying to keep your eyes on his face rather than the obvious elephant in the room. 

"Those fuckers slipped me some viagra..." he mumbled, glad to admit that he wasn't just really horny but also embarrassed that he fell for it. 

You looked at him with sympathy, feeling bad that he was a prank victim. But, you were also thinking practically. There was no way that he could get out of this, but you wouldn't want to go out there and do a conference if you were like this either. 

"Can't you... sort it out?" you said, not wanting to be too crude. 

"Not with these," he scoffed, holding up his bandaged hands. Even if he took them off, it would still be really painful and wouldn't have the desired effect. It would probably just wind him up more.

That was when Max got an idea. It was a horrendous idea that could ruin your entire relationship, but it was an idea nonetheless. He hated the fact that he had even thought of this, let alone that he was actually going to ask it out loud. "Can you?" he asked. 

"Can I what?" you replied. Deep down, you knew what he was asking, but you didn't want to accept it. Even before he asked, you were contemplating your response. Something in your brain told you to do it. This was for both of your careers, so surely it would be worth it? At the end of the day, it was only Max.

The two of you were close, so what was getting him off going to do to your rapport with each other? Right, stupid question. That was going to do a lot to your relationship. It would make it so awkward, knowing that you had been intimate like that.

What excuse would you give for Max not being at the conference if you just left him to let the viagra wear off? He felt sick? His hands hurt too much? No, there wasn't time to formulate a story. "Can you sort this out? Just a handjob will do... like... just to get it over with..." he rambled, hating the words as they left his mouth.

"We never speak of this again, agreed?" you said, tentatively sitting next to him on the bench.

"Never again." he nodded, not fully believing that you were actually following through with this. "You don't even have to look," he gently said, taking the first step and pulling his erection out of his boxers.

Your eyes widened as you saw it. He was bigger than you expected, but you thought that it was probably the viagra helping him out. Precum was already beading at the tip, and you felt quite bad for him. 

"Ok... here goes..." you mumbled, spitting in your hand to create some lubrication. If he was being honest, Max thought it was one of the hottest things that he had ever seen. It was the first lick of genuine arousal that he had had all day, and he wasn't complaining.

You were unsure of whether you should look or if you could cancel out the awkwardness by looking away. But you found yourself looking as you gently took ahold of his hardened length. Max shuddered at the contact, and both of you knew that this wasn't going to take long. It was better that way. 

You rubbed your thumb over his tip, smearing precum over it while Max had to bite back a moan. If people heard from outside, they would be straight in and the two of you would never live that down. 

You started off slow, your hand moving up and down his shaft. You were trying to remove yourself from the situation, but you couldn't help but look at his face as his head was tipped back against the wall with his eyes screwed shut and his bottom lip firmly caught between his teeth. 

He looked damn handsome like this. Max's face was flushed with desire and his hair was perfectly ruffled from running his hands through it a few too many times. He was trying to keep quiet, but the whines he was letting out made heat pool between your legs. 

Picking up the pace, you pumped his dick faster, wanting to find the sweet spot of how fast he wanted you to go. "Fuck... just like that..." he mumbled, his breath stuttering as he let the pleasure consume him. He had to stop himself from bucking his hips up into the contact, revelling in the fact that he was finally relieving some of the pressure. 

As much as you hated to admit it to yourself, you were thoroughly enjoying this. There was a strange part of you that wanted to find out exactly what he liked and how he wanted you to do things. You got a better reaction out of him when you squeezed a bit harder. Just like his racing, Max didn't like things doing by halves. 

The natural reaction was for you to be just as turned on as he was. You had to remind yourself that this wasn't about pleasure, it was simply business. You were fixing the issue that had been caused by Daniel and Lando - even if the issue was jerking off a world champion driver. 

"I... I'm going to..." he trailed off, and you knew precisely what he meant. You sped up for one final time to get him there, Max's hand reaching out and gripping your thigh as if he were grounding himself as he came, spilling out onto your hand. 

You kept your movements up as he rode through the high, before he relaxed back against the wall and you stopped. Letting go, you just sat there and looked at each other. "Thank you..." he softly smiled, glad that you had saved him from definite embarrassment.

"That was... well I'm not going to lie to you and say that you weren't amazing," he chuckled and squeezed your thigh. He noticed how you were clenching your thighs together as if you were also craving some sort of friction. 

Before he could comment, you stood and went to get tissues. You passed him a few, and you went to the sink to wash your hands. You were washing your hands of Max's cum, which was something that you never thought you'd ever do. 

"Ha, thanks." you quietly laughed as you dried them off. Max was cleaning himself up, glad that Daniel and Lando hadn't given him any more pills than they had. One hand job was enough. "Come on, we've got to go."  you said, trying to distract from what the two of you had just done. 

"You'll have to let me return the favour one day, yeah?" he said, and he was being sincere. Max was all for fairness, and he wasn't just going to let this happen without you getting your fair share. He saw how much you wanted it, and he could see the faint hints of arousal still lingering in your eyes. 

"We're never discussing this again," you rushed, walking out of the locker room swiftly in front of him. He knew you wanted it just like he did, and he could feel himself stirring naturally this time. Now wasn't the time, though. 

As the two of you walked through hospitality and towards where the conference was taking place, Daniel and Lando watched on from afar. Max didn't have an erection anymore, and you looked flustered. Their minds were running at a thousand miles a minute, and it was like both of them connected the dots at the same time.

If looks could kill, the two of them would be dead as Max glared at them. They'd have to let sleeping dogs lie. For now. 

A/N - I loved writing this I can't even lie to you, this is one of my favourite requests that I have ever gotten! The smut is awful, I know it is 😂 Leave anymore requests in my inbox!

|masterlist|

[tyunningism]

hear me out…i love the way you write perv!txt but i never see anyone write it for taehyun :((( so i plead you to give a couple thoughts on like perv!bsf!taehyun

MDNI nsfw ahead!!

moablr needs to get on the taehyun train because I unironically reach for the sex toy cupboard whenever I see him on my screen holyyy. And perv tyun actually makes me drool because I can just imagine how he’d try to play it off like especially if you’re a bit on the slower side and he’s just so articulate about everything !!

Like just imagine you’re hanging out in your room just ranting about your week to an all too observant taehyun when you suddenly overshare that your nips are starting to feel sore, completely forgetting that your friend right here doesn’t have a clue what it feels like and can’t contribute any advice for your dilemma.

Taehyun’s so eager though :(( his eyes are sparkling when you mention them because he’s so interested, why do they hurt? are they swollen? puffy? He’s so keen to stick to this topic about your chest he’s just bombarding you with questions you yourself can’t even answer!! And Taehyun’s always been intrigued by anything and everything- like the time he found your vibrator underneath your bed and was asking all sorts of questions about acupunctures and massages, when he knows more than well what it really is <3

Don’t forget Taehyun’s not stupid though. He just thrives watching the way you blush as he pretends to be utterly clueless about your sex life whenever he brings it up out of the random in curiosity. You can’t pick up on the fact he’s deliberately edging for that response and reflex you always do; thighs subconsciously squeezing together as you think of the most innocent response for your innocent friend ><, your bottom lip tucked under your top in thought, leaning back on your hand to ponder about it without even realising you’re pushing the bust of your chest forwards.

So of course you don’t speculate that Taehyun’s got anything sinister going on in his head, after all, he’s only just curious about these things. So when he asks you to lift your shirt so he can ‘address’ the problem you eventually give in, although blushing furiously and automatically covering your chest with crossed hands first; because Taehyun’s just so smart and always at the top of his class so he must know why right??

Of course he knows it’s just that you’re going through the cycle soon yet he plays along. He observes so carefully when you pinch the hem of your shirt right in the middle and lift it up just slightly above your bra- starting to feel the embarrassment creep in on letting a man see your chest when it’s not during sex.

The furrow of your brows and the way you look up at him with pink glazed cheeks engraves itself in to his head so he can remember it for later, a hand reaching to slip off your bra down to your stomach just slightly to unleash it’s grip on your chest. And fuck- for a second Taehyun thinks he’s entered Heaven and he has to hold himself back from saying something like ‘fuck that’s hot’ because remember!- he’s supposed to be cluelessly trying to figure out why your nipples are hurting not drooling like some lowlife !!

Brings two fingers to pinch and tug at your nipples making small ‘hm?’ sounds as if he really was investigating, a shaky hand groping around the flesh and spitting a couple of slobbery scientific health words that he knew you wouldn’t understand- and neither would a qualified doctor. He has to pause to take a breath because shit- you’re just carelessly giving in to him and letting him play with your tits without even realising? He’s going to lose his fucking lewd-struck mind from how adorable you are !! ><

Best believe he’s so relieved he chose to wear baggier jeans today because he’s certain anything tighter and the world would’ve seen the biggest hard on he’s ever had in his lifetime and he’d hate to see you- who’s biting on your hand trying to suppress the sweetest moans and curling your toes as his nimble fingers twist and tug at your tits like they’re stress balls- realise that he’s been purposely rendering himself as nothing but confused and curious about his female companion’s body and functions.

Goddd, and taehyun’s so kind to you as well! Offers to help you massage them because he thinks they’re sore because you’ve been “restricting blood flow’ and ‘not taking care of them properly’ which you’re in luck for because somehow he does?! Thinks a little outside of the box because he pretends to have a lightbulb moment and asks you about the ‘massage’ toy he found under neath your bed last time because according to him it’ll just be much faster and effective <33

Little does he know (he very much does), that you’ll be squirming and clutching on to his arm as he turns on your vibrator on the lowest setting to buzz against your already sore nipples, the rhythmic vibrations making you see stars even on low power as you tell Taehyun to be gentle!! 😣😣

Your voice is ten times more high-pitched than usual as you whimper whenever his own hands massaged and rubbed between the dip of your boobs, hands large enough to grab at the fat of your tit and knead them as he tells you that they’ll feel much better later (the exact opposite happens) but you take his word for it and just nod because then again- Taehyun’s the smartest guy you know and he must know what he’s doing right?!!

Oh for sure does Taehyun know what he’s doing being all sneaky, his boxers are damp from how much he’s leaking just from watching you squirm and squeak over some nipple-stimulation. Poor you can’t read his expression either, so focused and lost in thought that he doesn’t realise he’s overstimulating your chest after pressing down with the vibrator for too long!! Because as you’re moaning and whining he’s thinking about how he somehow get to taste you on his tongue the next time he comes over for one of his experiments <33

[buckysdingus]

secret longings

todd stevens x reader

word count: 8.9k

summary: your cousins wedding is this weekend and you need a date.

warnings: eventual smut 18+lowercase writing, some angst, weight is commented on in a negative way, todd being a sick sometimes, smut 18+!! MDNI!!

a/n: i’ll be gone for a couple days so i thought i’d give you this! is was based off of this request! <3 let me know what you think!

requests always open!

lewis masterlist

todd stevens is the bane of your existence. he's a cocky know it all with a shit eating smirk that stays on his mouth at all seconds of the day. sometimes it feels like he does it just to piss you everyone off.

you first met him when trying to find your brother at his frat. you knew he was the president, but you were hoping you didn't have to interact with him. you already had to do so in your political science class.

sure, you'd debate him in class, you never back down from a chance to try and humiliate him in front of your classmates. this time, though, you actually had a conversation.

you knocked for what felt like five minutes in the frat house door at eight in the morning. you heard muffled shouting at someone to get the door.

the door opened slowly to reveal, who you thought was a guy named mitch. he held his hand up to shield his eyes firm the morning sun, you thought you actually heard him hiss at it.

"i need to see tom," you sigh, your little brother was roommates with mitch and yet you still couldn't fully remember what the boy looked like.

"okay," mitch said slowly with a shrug, as if he was confused by your statement and didn't understand what it had to do with him.

he turned and screamed your brothers name. you cross your arms over your chest taking an annoyed stance.

"who's at the door," someone asked, you knew it wasn't your brother. the thick, raspy accent belonged to someone you knew. the clench of your jaw indicated it was him.

todd stevens.

"i don't know, some chick for tom,"

"he's my brother," you speak up, you hated that they acted like you weren't standing there.

the door opens wider, revealing the pebble in your shoe.

he says you last name with a grin and rub of his jaw, then matches your stance with his arms crossed.

"stevens,"

"now mitch," he says gripping the boys shoulder, "we don't talk to ladies like that,"

“i can take care of myself, thanks. where’s my brother,” you ask more firmly.

todd’s brows furrow in confusion at your tone and choice of words. you didn’t fall to his feet. you didn’t thank him for standing up for you and trying to make mitch apologize. it’s as if todd’s brain short circuited.

“mitch, go get tom,” todd instructs. mitch rolls his eyes but walks off out of your sight.

you sigh lightly, arms still crossed. your eyes everywhere but the man in front of you. just looking at him made your blood boil.

one thing about todd is that he thinks he’s always right. he knows what’s wrong with your dean aye, he knows what’s wrong with the professors calculations and spelling, and apparently he knows somethings wrong with you.

“what happened?” he asks, hands now in his pockets with his head slightly tilted. his eyes scan your body once then he narrows his eyes at you as if he’s reading you like a book.

“you can’t read me like a book,” you tell him so.

“i have a minor in literature, specifically poetry,” he tells you with a faint smirk on his mouth.

you bite the inside of your cheek, trying to hide the smile that was betraying you, your eyes turning to slits. what was his motive? what was his intention.

“you think you’re funny stevens?” you ignore the pit in your stomach that opened, allowing butterflies to float around, banging against your stomach and chest.

“sometimes, but that wasn’t a joke,” he says, taking one hand out of his pockets and leaning against the frame on his forearm.

your eyes jerk to his forearm, veins protruding from the buttoned up long sleeve that was rolled up to his elbow. the veins going down to his hand, dipping under his watch.

you look back to him, his smirk on full display. you roll your eyes.

tom shows up behind him, your eye slicing to your brother.

“hey, what’s wrong?” he asks rubbing his eyes from the brightness of the sun.

todd moves his arm and steps back, but not fully walking away.

“do you mind?” you ask him, blinking at him.

he lifts his hands in mock defense, “i’m going, see you in class,”

“can’t wait,” the sarcasm was impossible to miss.

“what’s up?” your brother asks.

“tiff is getting married,” you tell him, he doesn’t seem to see the importance. your cousin was a very busy woman who did everything last minute.

“okay?”

you sigh, “we have to go, problem is it’s this weekend, saturday. it’s out in tennessee and i don’t know if we can find a flight out there in time. i also don’t have date but that’s not your problem,” the last part was just you talking out loud.

“what about that guy you were seeing?”

you shake your head, “didn’t work out. he was… weird,” you close your eyes and take a deep breath remembering how awful he was. he didn’t have the nicest words aimed at you, you left before it got physical.

“okay well i have things to do this weekend for the frat. i can’t miss out on them,” he tells you with a shrug.

“it’s our cousins wedding tom,”

“yeah a cousin i barely know and a cousin you don’t like. you don’t have to go either,” he says.

“i know, i just… i want to. i like weddings. i just need a date,”

“you want to show tiff up,” he says scratching the back of his neck.

“oh hush,” you wave a hand towards him, “you can tell mom you won’t be there,”

“and you can tell her you don’t have a date. that’ll be fun for you,” he mocks.

you were always expected to have a date at the family functions. you’re about to graduate and your parents expected you to be married or at the very least have a boyfriend. and you were not going to your cousins wedding, who’s constantly one upping you, where your parents are going to be nagging you about not having a boyfriend without a date.

todd appears in the door way, “i can help,”

“what?” you and brother say in unison.

“my truck can make it tennessee,” he says, “we leave tomorrow and make it by friday night,” he shrugs. he’s got a smile on his face and you don’t see anything evil behind it, maybe he’s just being genuine. maybe he actually wants to help.

“no,” you tell him turning back to your brother, “call mom and tell her you aren’t going,” you couldn’t let it go, you turn back to todd, “aren’t you the president? shouldn’t you also be here for whatever horrible thing you’ll be doing the freshmen this weekend?”

todd clutches tom’s shoulders, “tom here is going take over for the weekend. planning on him bein the next president,” he smiling squeezing tom’s shoulders.

“right, well good luck,” you turn away walking from the house, “call mom!” you shout back to tom.

“let me know when you want to take me up on that offer,” todd calls out to you.

you lift a middle finger in the air and hear him laugh as the door shuts. you walk back to your own dorm, trying to come up with someone to take.

maybe you could ask tyler from your communications class or will from your art class. you sit at your desk, arms crossed trying to think of someone. someone other than him.

but he’s the only person that keeps coming to mind. you soon imagine him holding your hand, giving it a squeeze when your mom makes a comment about your life, the squeeze telling you it’s okay and he’s there and she’s wrong.

his hand on your lower back, guiding you through the crowd to the bar. him holding your hips as you two sway back and forth to whatever slow song is playing on the speakers.

before you knew it a couple hours had gone by of you just merely daydreaming of him being your date. you wanted to kick yourself.

todd stevens wasn’t a good guy. you heard the stories, him being a dick to girls, him being a dick to new pledges. you hated the idea of hazing especially for the guys. you’ve documentaries on hazing and it’s disgusting to say the least.

you didn’t know what tom had to go through, and maybe you didn’t want to, you know you didn’t want to know all that todd had put them through.

you go to sleep that night with todd still on your mind. luckily he had escaped your dreams and the next morning came fast.

you show up a few minutes early to your eight am political science class. you knew he’d be there, he sits in your same row, a few seats over.

this morning, however, he sits right next to you. you check your small watch on your wrist, ten minutes until it starts.

you roll your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose. his arm reaches back and lays itself on the back of your chair. he leans back in his chair, turning his head towards you.

“we can leave today,” he tells you, “we can make it tonight too. i can pick you up at… say…” he looks at his watch, “ten? we can make it by seven,”

you turn your whole body towards him, leaning an elbow on the desk, “what’s your motive stevens? what do you get out of this?”

“nothing,” his face stoic, his eyes won’t meet yours, “i can’t help out the sister of a fellow brother?”

you squint at him, “you won’t get anything out of this,”

todd thinks: i’ll be with you.

“i know,” he nods, bringing his arm back from behind you to cross them across his chest, “you need help, i’m offering,”

you lean against your hand, starring at the man in front of you. you try to break some sort of exterior wall he has up to try and catch him in a lie.

you won’t get your heartbroken by him. you won’t.

you sigh, biting your cheek to hide a smile, you eventually are able to swallow the smile and be stoic like him.

“i have to get a dress,” you tell him, “i was going to get one tonight.”

“i have a suit,” he says with another shrug.

“no no no,” you shake your head, “i’ve seen you in what you think is a suit. with my family you have to be in a nice suit, like never worn before suit. you’ll..” you pause for a moment, squeezing your eyes shut, “just have to come with me,”

a grin spreads across his face, “okay, when’s your last class?”

“this is my only one today,”

“i got one after this, but i’ll pick you up at one, yeah? take you to lunch too,” his grin stays and you can’t help but match it with a smile.

“don’t get me in trouble this weekend,” yo tell him, pointing a finger at him.

he holds a hand up in mock defense, “yes ma’am,”

“i’m serious-“

“alright class!” the professor begins as he interrupts you.

“and todd,” you reach out, touching the top of his hand, “don’t fall in love with me,”

he furrows his brows and scoffs, “no problem,” he lightly laughs turning to the professor.

you would’ve been upset by his response. you weren’t that bad. you would’ve been hurt by it but you didn’t miss the way he stole glance say you during the class.

you simply clench your jaw and act like you don’t see him, and you hated to admit it but you might have liked the attention he was giving you.

todd picks you up at one pm sharp from your dorm building. he gets out of his truck, walking over and opening the passenger side door for you. you stop a couple feet away from the door and look at him.

“what are you doing?”

“blame it on my southern hospitality,” he smiles, leaning his forearm on the door, “and i’ll take this,” he reaches out for your bag taking it and putting in the back seat floorboards.

you step up into the truck, using the handle at the top of it. you settle into your seat and buckle up. todd closes the door and goes back to the drivers seat.

you give him directions to the dress and suit shop and the thirty minute drive is mostly quiet, until about five minutes in.

“are we good to leave after getting the dress and suit?” you ask looking at phone for updates on anything to do with the wedding.

he nods, “yeah i already got a bag in the back next to yours,” he nods.

“okay, i need to give you a run down of my family how this is going to go this weekend,” you say.

“hit me,”

you turn to face him but take a small moment to take him in. he drives with his left on hand on the wheel and his right arm resting on the center console. his body is leaned ever so slightly towards you and his eyes go from the road to yours a few times.

the sun comes through the windshield, hitting his face perfectly. his stubble shining in it, his brown curls are illuminated. you blink a couple times before continuing.

“uhm my mother will be very… inquisitive. she will ask you any and everything. my father will more than likely just stare at you, he has a real problem with that. my mother wants me to be with just someone and my father believes no one is good enough for me so there’s a lot of differences between them.”

he nods, his brows furrowed in attention.

“okay, my cousin who’s getting married is going to grill you. so we need to make sure you know at least a little bit about me,”

he nods again, “no problem,” he pulls back into a parking space, his rig he hand on the back of your headrest as he twists to look behind him. you look down, his white t shirt exposes the smallest bit of his tummy, you look away quickly, biting your tongue.

stop it, you tell yourself, stop.

as soon as he stops the truck and puts it into park you open your door, the fresh air resting your mind. you hop out turning back to him, “ready?”

“let’s do it, sweetness,”

you roll your eyes but have a smile and shut the door.

the two of you walk up to the boutique and he open the door for you, you thank him and he follows closely behind you.

todd has money, he’s a president of a frat and has a trust fund. but he’s never been in a place like this. the walls are a cream color and the warm lighting is nice. there’s dresses set up on one side and suits on the other.

“hi! i’m charmaine, what are we looking for today?” a woman with bleach blonde hair was dressed in the hottest pink dress you’d ever seen that matched her nails.

“hi,” you smile, “we are going to a wedding and need a dress and suit,” you tell her, clasping your hands together. you can feel the nerves building up in your body.

“oh goodness how fun!” charmaine exclaims, “what are the colors,” she asks walking towards some dresses.

“navy,” you decide, something to help you blend in to the crowd.

“oh what a lovely color. i’ll show you what we have,” she starts to walk away but you become overwhelmed fast. the dresses everywhere, the lights, the loud music. your thoughts race as you try and think of a dress that would please everyone. you didn’t know if todd like navy- why did you care if he’d like it? he’s the one who-

you close your eyes for a moment and take a deep breath.

a hand touches your lower back, the softness snapping you out of the anxious moment. you feel todd’s breath on your neck. your skin becomes a vast land of goosebumps as your hair stands up on your arms and neck.

you almost shiver form it.

“you okay?” he asks.

you turn your neck to look over and up at him, his eyes are full of genuine concern.

“yeah,” you force a smile, “i’m fine. sorry, i don’t know what happened,” you step away quickly from his touch, the coldness of his absence isn’t very welcoming.

you catch up to charmaine as she shows you different dresses in the color you’ve chosen.

you grab a couple of nice ones and go to the fitting rooms. charmaine’s starts to drag todd off but you stop them.

“i need his opinion,” you fight through the words. you couldn’t believe you were even saying it. you didn’t need to convince this worker you two were dating.

half of you did want to know what he thought.

she smiles and nods, “of course, let me know when you’re ready for the suits,”

you thank her and todd takes a seat, his legs spreading as he does. his lays his hands on his thighs with a sigh, not a bored one. it was more of sigh of relief like he couldn’t imagine not being with you in store like this.

you hang the dresses up in the private room and begin talking again, “another thing, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. you let me know when or if you become uncomfortable and i will shut it all down. i promise,” you look him in his eyes so he knows just how serious you.

“what about you?” he asks.

“what?” you blink at him.

“what if you’re uncomfortable? it sounds like your family makes you pretty uncomfortable sometimes,”

your jaw ticks, “i can handle myself. i can handle my family and others can’t. i don’t expect you to be able to handle them,”

his arms cross across his chest, “im the president of the most popular frat in the university, i think i can handle one of their families,” he tells you with tilt of his head.

“that cocky attitude is going to get you in trouble. i can stand up to family for other people, i’ve learned it’s easier to just take it from them for myself. don’t make me go back on my offer,” you point at him, leaning against the dressing room door frame.

“i can handle myself,” he throws back your first response.

you turn around closing the door and try on the first dress. didn’t like it. you walked out to show todd and it wasn’t his favorite either. he said it looked like yo didn’t like and that was his only comment. the second one: you hated it.

the third one was beautiful on the hanger. you step into it and bring the straps over your shoulders. the smooth satin felt nice against your skin, it was form fitting a a shade above navy but you still loved it so far.

you reach back to the zipper on your back, but yo can’t reach it. the other two had zipper son the side but this one… you’d need help.

you whisper a small prayer asking for your arms to grow longer or the ability to zip but it didn’t happen. you sigh in frustration and open the door, cracking it slightly in case anyone else was in the boutique.

“i need your help,”

todd was on his feet the second he heard “need”. he walks over, his body filling the small crack you made.

“i need you to zip this up for me,” you say bringing around to face the mirror, you move your hair to side, holding it there.

you here the door open to the building and laughing, a big group surely coming in. you didn’t want anyone to see you half naked, you already hated that todd was.

“come on,” you shimmy in forget to the room, but todd just stands there, “come on,” yo repeat, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the room. the door closes behind him.

“it’s okay, we’re adults. i just need you to zip this up, please,” you ask in a quiet voice.

his finger find the zipper and pulls it up. the warmth of his hands radiating off of him onto your cold back. one hand stayed at the bottom of the zipper just above your ass as he pulled up with his other hand.

his hands then reach up, taking your hair. his eyes catch yours in the mirror and neither of you look away. he takes your hair and pulls it back, it falls down your back. he moves some pieces from your shoulder.

his hands linger on your shoulders, his eyes never leaving yours. you stomach twists and knots in anticipation. what’s his next move? what’s your next move?

his hands ghost down your arms, they land at your wrists and he wraps his hands around them, pulling them up to your stomach and he begins to sway you back and forth to the soft music playing on the speakers.

he moves so he can turn you around.

he looks you up and down, “it’s pretty,”

“i think so too,” your voice is barely above a whisper, too nervous about what’s about to happen.

“the necklace you wear sometimes. the one small gold chain? it would look nice with this dress,” he tells you, his voice matches your volume. is he nervous too? does want to kiss you as much as you want him to?

“yeah,” you nod, “it would look good.”

“you look good,” he tells you after a beat.

a pink blush rushed across your cheeks. your ears heating up at the moment you two are sharing.

his eyes flutter close and you follow quickly, going to your toes. you can feel his breath on your face, his lips ghosting yours, he stops.

“see?” he says, you open your eyes to see him looking at you, “i can play the part,”

he drops your hands, reaching back and pulling the zipper down with one hand and turns walking out of the dressing room.

what the fuck was that?

the door closes, bringing you back to reality. you were about to kiss todd stevens and he did that?

fuck this guy and this situation.

you change back into your normal clothing and exit the room, passing the dick standing near the suits and straight to charmaine at the desk.

“i’ve decided on this one. so just this and whatever suit he needs,” you force a perfect friendly smile.

charmaine looks at you confused, “oh dear, he’s already paid for the dress and his suit,”

you turn around to look at him, he pays you no mind as he looks through the navy suits. you force all your emotions down. you wipe away what just happened for a moment.

“alright, thanks charmaine. we’ll get his suit and be on our way,”

she nods with a polite smile, if she could feel the tension on the room she wasn’t showing it.

you pick up the dress, now wrapped in plastic and walk to todd, “find anything?” you ask in an even tone.

“yeah, i already know my size. you ready to go?” he asks turning around, holding a suit wrapped in plastic.

you don’t respond as you walk out to his truck. you don’t give him the light of day just like you should’ve been doing before. you open your own door and climb up and slam it shut, folding the dress in your lap.

he opens your door, “let me see the dress,” he says reaching out a hand, “don’t want it wrinkling,” you don’t look at him as you hand over the dress.

he opens the back seat doors and hang the dress and suit on the small hook and lay them out on the seats. once he’s done, he closes the door and goes to drivers seat.

he sits there for a moment, waiting to see if you’d say anything.

he starts the truck, putting it in drive and pulling out of the space. he drives for about ten minutes before pulling into a restaurant.

“what are we doing here?” you finally break.

“told you i’d take you out to lunch,” he shrugs opening his door.

“oh fuck that todd,” you exclaim at him, he closes the door sitting back in his seat. his expression confused.

“what the fuck did you just pull in the fitting room?” you ask loudly, your tone showing just how much you cared about the whole interaction.

“just showing you that i can make it look real. your family won’t be able to tell, it seemed like i had to convince you as well,” he shrugs. his eyes stay looking out the windshield or at his hands. he won’t meet yours.

he won’t look at you as he admits he just did to prove a stupid point. a point that you didn’t even doubt. it feels like he did it to piss you off.

“you couldn’t keep your eyes off of me this morning but now you can’t even look at me,” you scoff, opening your door and hoping out. you shut the door and walk over to his opening it for him.

“i’m paying,” your tone cold.

you walk away, and hear him get out himself. he shits the door and the truck beeps signaling it’s locked. you walk to restaurant and hold the door for him. he grabs it by the top and you slip in under his arm.

the waitress sits the two of you and you eat in silence. he asks you about your classes, you ask him about tom and completely ignore whatever happened in the truck.

this drive was going to be long.

an hour in to the nine hour drive you speak up, “thank you for doing this,”

“no problem,” he says, eyes trained on the road in front of him.

“why did you?” you ask looking over to him.

“helping out a brother,” he shrugs, eyes still forward.

“you don’t look at person when you lie,” you mutter.

“okay that has to stop,” he says, now his eyes going from the road to you, “stop reading me like that, like you know me,”

“i do know you todd. your the fraternity president that even just fawns over and loves. yo don’t do anything unless you’re getting something out of it. you aren’t a nice guy, i’ve heard plenty of stories to back it up too. i don’t know why you’re doing this for me but it’s feeling like a mistake. you say it’s to help tom out and if that’s true that’s great, thank you but don’t expect me to fall at your feet that everyone else does,”

that shuts him up.

your words were harsh and loud. you regretted some of them when they came out. you half expected him to turn the truck around or tell you to get out of his truck but he didn’t. he gripped the steering wheel and sped up a couple of miles.

your fear of… something was taking over you in the moment. the fear that he’d back out? that he didn’t like you? that you liked him?

you let the words hang in the air, “sorry,”

“it’s alright. you think you know me, you know the stories of me. not me,”

“i know i have no right to say this after what i just said but: will you tell me?”

“hm?” he hums confused.

“tell me then. tell me who you are,”

he takes breath and let sit out slowly, “i am the president of a frat, ill give you that but that my identity. i happen to be very smart and i would like to think im kind. i try help those guys be more kind but im doin a shit job,”

he pauses looking for more answers, “i like the color navy, it probably my favorite color. i like chicken and working out sometimes. it helps get my mind off of things.”

“did you know you scratch the bottom of your chin with your thumb when you’re concentrating, sometimes you pick at your stubble too,” you tell him a smile growing on your face.

he looks over, “see you know more about me than i do,”

“i’m sorry again, i shouldn’t have said all that,”

“it’s alright,” his hand reaches over and grips your lower thigh, he turns his head to look at you, “i forgive you,” with a slight squeeze his take back his hand back to the center console.

the next few hours were you two talking about anything. from his childhood stories to yours. from your freshmen years fuck ups to yours. from your weird teenage years to his.

you learn a lot about the man who has volunteered to be hassled by your family for a day.

you find yourself leaned against over the center console, starring at him as he speaks with a glint in your eye. his smile grows when he looks down at you then back to the road.

you made fun of how big his hand was, pulling it from the console and comparing it to your own hand. his interlocks your fingers and you don’t move.

the last two hours were you were sleeping against the passenger side window. he hits pot hole on the road that stirs you awake, before you fully sit up your eyes open and see your still holding his hand.

you try your best to play it off, yawning and pulling that hand to your mouth.

“well good evening,” he says.

you look out the window to see the sun setting. you shouldn’t have slept that long but road trips are tiring and you couldn’t help yourself.

“sorry for the bump,” he apologizes, “tried to miss it,”

“it’s alright. how much longer we got?” you ask turning the radio up slightly.

“about twenty minutes to the hotel. is it the same one your family’s at?” he asks, looking to his phone for direction then back to the road.

you shake your head, “god no. the venue is a few miles away and we’re at the second closest hotel. i couldn’t stand to be in the same building as them as i slept to,”

he chuckles and nods, “fair enough,”

twenty minutes later he pulls into the hotel and parks. he gets out quick, rounding his truck and offering you a hand. you take it.

“thank you,”

he nods, “yes ma’am,” he opens the back grabbing your bag and his.

“i’ll get the dress and suit,” you take the two items and follow behind him to the front desk of the hotel.

the receptionist greets the two of you with a smile, “hi! what can i help yall with?”

“uhm we have a room, under the name…” you tell them your last name.

“ah yes,” she says clicking a few times ok he keyboard, “here you go. room four-twenty-six.

you take the two room keys from her, “thank you,”

you walk off, todd following behind you. you step into the elevator and he hits the fourth level button and you ride in a comfortable silence.

the doors open and you walk down the hallway and you reach your room, you swipe the card and open the door for todd. he sticks out his foot and holds it open and lets you go in first. you roll your eyes with smile as you walk in.

you hang the dress suit on the bathroom door and then meet todd at the bed.

singular bed.

“oh my god, this was supposed to be a two bed room,” you say in horror. you look around for your phone, taking your bag from todd’s hand and search for your phone. you look through your emails for the confirmation email and when you find it you realize you did indeed book a one bed room.

“shit, i am so sorry,” you rub your temples, “i thought i’d be coming alone,”

“its okay. i can sleep on the floor with a couple of p-“

“what? no im not making you sleep on the ground. we’re both adult, alright? we can sleep in the same bed.” you say honestly.

“you sure?”

you nod, “yeah, everything will be fine. tomorrow will go by quickly and we’ll be back home on sunday and everything will be fine. my parents aren’t going to make a big deal out of anything i do, tiffany won’t make fun of me for anything and my mother will still love me after this weekend,”

the anxious tears begin to well up in your eyes. when todd sees this he doesn’t hesitate. he pulls you into his chest.

“hey, it’s gonna be okay. i’ll be there the whole time and im great at talking to be people, it’s kind of my job,”

you chuckle against his chest, thanking him for the effort of making you laugh. you wrap your arms around him and let him hold you for a moment.

you enjoy his warmth. you enjoy the sound of his heart beat. you enjoy the steadiness of his breathing. it calms you for a moment, he makes you forget about the big day tomorrow and how poorly it could go.

he’s here and that’s all you need.

the thought caught you off guard and you find yourself pulling away from him. you give an excuse about needing to use the bathroom, as you walk away his hand follows down your arm to your wrist to your hand and your fingers.

you flex your hand at the memory of his hand in yours.

you close the door to the bathroom and start the shower. the hot water couldn’t replace the warmth of his skin, no matter how hot the water it couldn’t compare to him.

half you wished he’d knock on the door and ask to join you. your mind wonders to how his hands would feel on you. your chest, your core. his fingers gliding through you as your head falls back and his lips leave marks on your neck.

your hand journeys down to your thighs, ghosting over your mound. your head lolling to side so the warm water hits your neck.

your finger slips into you, the thought of his finger replaces yours. your hand massaging your breast as you imagine his hands on you.

there’s a knock at the bathroom door, interrupting your fantasy. you pull your finger out and straighten up in the shower, clearing your throat, “yeah?”

“you doin okay? you been in there a while,”

“yeah yeah, i’m good. i’ll be out soon,” you plant a hand on your forehead, lightly rubbing against it.

what was wrong with you? a few hours ago you were grilling him and now you wanted him to what? fuck you?

yeah, you did.

you wash your face and finally step out of the shower. you realize you left your clothes out in your bag, you open the door to shout for todd but you look down and you have clothes sitting on the ground, folded neatly.

you pick them up and bring them inside the bathroom. you put on the fresh clothes and walk out of the bathroom, seeing todd laid on the bed, one hand behind his head showing off his biceps as he flips through channels on the tv.

“thanks for setting out my clothes,”

“yeah, no problem,” he smiles looking over to you. his eyes linger on your bare thighs before he sits up, “guess it’s my turn,”

you nod, pursing your lips, “yeah, okay. i’ll find us a movie or something to watch. i’ll order room service too,”

he thanks you as he gathers his own clothes and goes to the bathroom. you lay on the bed where he was, sinking into the mattress.

you flip through channels as you wait for him to shower.

as you flip you begin to hear grunts form the shower. a groan or two, you turn down the tv volume to listen closer.

your name is said in a moan.

you bite your lip trying to hide a smile.

he was touching himself to the thought of you. your hand floats back down to your core. you bends your legs, giving yourself more access.

your finger drag themselves through your folds and your slick coats you and your fingers. you give focus on your clit and immediately feel a shiver run through you.

you hear your name again, you whisper his as you move faster. you head tilts back and you close your eyes, taking in the feeling. the more you hear your name the faster you go.

soon you’ve already hit your climax and breathing hard. you can tell he did too. you take your hand out and throw a blanket over you. you remember to order room service and a few minutes later he comes out of the bathroom.

he has his boxers and a t shirt on and sits on the bed next to you.

“find a movie?”

you shake your head, “nope. nothing good

on,”

you two end up talking for an hour until the room service comes. todd gets the door and helps bring everything. he thanks the worker and shuts the door.

he rubs his hands together, “so what’d you get?”

you open the tip of the plate to reveal his meal.

“chicken and mashed potatoes for you, and chicken parmesan for me,” you smile.

he smiles, looking over to you, “chicken?”

you shrug, “you said it was your favorite,”

“thank you,” he says, he looks at you like he might reach out and touch but he decides against it.

you two eat and end up in bed at midnight.

you wake up to a nice smell. a cedar smell that brings smile to your face. you’re not sure what it is, couldn’t be perfume or the scent of the pillows.

maybe aftershave.

aftershave.

you open your eyes and realize you head is on todd’s chest. his arms draped around your waist. you think you’re supposed to pull away. you know you’re supposed to but here you, your arms locking around him a little more.

as you shift, so does he. you close your eyes quickly, his arms pull you close as he hums against you.

todd’s eyes blink open, your shampoo is the first thing he smells. a mix of different fragrances and it bring a small smile to to his face. he looks down and see you there, head on his chest, arms around him. he can feel your legs wrapped in his.

he sighs into you, the smile growing.

he doesn’t know how he’s going to do this. he thought the dressing room incident would help the feelings he has towards you. make you hate him and it’d be easier to walk away from you after today. it wasn’t working.

he thought of you in the shower last night and he heard you saying his name at the same time. there was something between the two of you but you told him not to fall in love with you. he did that before you had said that to him though.

you decide to pull away first. his closes his eyes, making it seem like he’s asleep. he lets you go and yo hair up in the bed. you rub your temples and stand, going to the bathroom to get ready.

a few minutes later, todd sits up and orders breakfast for the two of you. waffles and fruit.

the next few hours are silent between the two of you. after breakfast you speak up thank him him for breakfast and telling him your going to get ready for the wedding.

you had a few hours before it started and needed to do all the things. your makeup, hair and putting the dress on.

you lean against the bathroom counter as you fix your hair into a simple style and begin to apply your makeup.

todd slips into the bathroom.

“do you mind?” he asks lowly.

you shake your head, “no, not all,”

he uses the other sink next to you to brush his teeth and get ready himself.

you apply eyeliner and mascara and set it with some spray.

“i’ll need your help with the dress again,” you murmur, remembering what happened the last time you asked him to zip up the dress.

he nods, turning away from you so you can strip out of your bed clothes and into the dress. you step into the dress, standing in front of the mirror.

todd catches the smallest sight of you in the mirror, not on purpose, there were lots of mirrors in this bathroom.

your long legs stepping into the dress, how the dress fell against your chest. it made his heart race and his pants tight.

“alright, you’re good,”

he turns around and clears his throat, he walks behind you and takes the zipper in one hand and his other resting at the base of your spine like yesterday.

he pulls the zipper up and looks at you in the mirror.

“you look beautiful,”

you smile and look to the ground, “thanks, but you don’t have to say that,”

his fingers hook under your chin pulling your head back up to look at him in the mirror, “did i look away from you?”

you shake your head, “no,”

“then i guess i wasn’t lying,”

your stare holds his and you think you might just turn around and beg him to take you on the bathroom but instead you grab his tie that was resting on the counter and wrap it around his neck.

“now it’s my turn to help you,” you tie the tie around his neck and pull it up to his throat. your fingers brush his throat and his adam’s apple bobs. you avoid his gaze that stays locked on you.

“thank you,” he says, you smile and begin to walk away but he grabs your wrist pulling you back.

you come back to your spot in front of him and he pins you between himself and the counter behind you. you can feel his tightness.

his hand goes to your jaw, some finger som your neck and his thumb on your cheek.

“i don’t think i can keep doing this,” he tells you, his thumb ghosting over your lips.

“doing what?” you ask, your eyes never leaving his.

“you know what,” he says. you stick your tongue slightly out, his thumb going against the tip of it.

“when we get back,” you tell him, “just help me get through this night,”

he nods, stepping back, “i’m sorry,”

“no no, hey,” you pull him back to you, “don’t apologize. we’ll talk about when we get back yeah?”

he rubs his jaw and scratches the back of his neck, “yeah,” he walks out of the bathroom.

his absence too great to bare.

he walks you to his truck, opening the door for you and drives the two of you to the venue of the wedding.

it’s already started and you stand in the back as the vows wrap up. you wish part of you felt bad for missing most of the ceremony but you couldn’t find the empathy.

todd’s arm is around you, hand resting on the side of your hip and thigh. his comfort being the only thing keeping you from collapsing form anxiety.

it wraps up and you make sure to make yourself and todd blend in the crowd. you make it to the reception.

you mother and father spot you at the back of the room.

“my darling girl, how are you,” yo step away from todd and regret it, you hug your mother and father only to step back into todd’s side.

“i’m well,” you smile, “school is good,” you nod.

“and who is this?” your mother raises her brows.

“this is todd stevens,” you say turning into him and placing a hand on his chest.

“nice to meet you todd,” your mother pulls him into a hug.

“you’re the president of the frat our son is in,” your father questions him but it sounds more like a statement.

todd nods, “yes sir. your son has been a great addition to the house and brotherhood,”

“so has our money,” your father comments.

you reach your arm around his taking his opposite hand and put your hand into todd’s and squeeze it, an apologizing squeeze.

“and we thank you for your donations,” he ignores the jab, throwing one back. at least he can keep up with them.

“sweetie this dress looks bigger than the size you normally wear,” your mother tilts her head.

“i am a woman mom, my weight with fluctuate.” you sarcastically smile at her.

“well you could lose a few,” she says, bringing a glass of champagne to her lips.

todd’s hand that rests on your hip kneads at it and moves to your lower back, “do you want to dance?” he asks, trying to diffuse the tension.

“i’d love to, if you’d excuse us,” you say to your parents and pull todd towards the dance floor. but your luck runs out quick as your cousin stops you.

she says your name with excitement, “i’m so glad you could make it,” she exclaims.

“me too tiff, you look amazing. i’m so happy for you,” you smile stepping forward to hug her,

only to step back into todd. his hand immediately returns to your side.

“and who is this?”

“this is todd, he’s my…”

“boyfriend,” todd speaks up, “we’ve been together for a few months,”

“well you chose a very cute one. that dress is killer on you,” she tells you, “she’s a hard one to keep up with,” she tells todd, “lots of… issues with this one,”

“she’s perfect to me,”

“you’ll see through it soon enough,”

you watch todd’s jaw tick and his eyes harden, “we’re going to dance,” you break the tension.

tiff nods and tells you to go.

you pull todd to the dance floor. your arms around his neck, and his around your waist.

“i’m sorry about them,”

“why did you want to come again?” he asks you.

you shrug, “it’s my cousins wedding and i haven’t seen my parents in a while. i thought… i think every time that they’ve changed just a little bit but i’m always wrong. i’m sorry i dragged you to this.”

“it alright, glad i was here,”

you lay your head against his chest, “me too,”

you sway back and forth, his chin resting on your head.

after a moment he pinches you side and squirm away, “ticklish are we?” he asks smiling down at you.

“don’t start something can’t finish,”

needless to say you ditch the rest of the wedding. you irish goodbye and you take him to the truck and he drives you two back to the hotel. he sped the whole way, you smiled through the ride knowing what was about to happen.

you reach your hotel door and when it closes, he’s grabbing you by the waist and pushing against the door. his lips on your neck and your hands in his hair.

he trials his lips up your neck to your jaw the to your lips.

you moan into his mouth and open your mouth so his tongue can slip in. you think he’d swallow you up if he could.

“mmm,” you him, “todd,” he hums against you, “todd,”

he pulls back, “what?”

“i told you…”

he steps back, pinching the bridge of his nose, “do you want the truth,” he asks, he doesn’t wait for your answer.

“i have been in love you since the first project we did together. since i saw you help your brother move in to the house. i see you class and watch your little mannerisms. the way you squint when you catch a mistake on a paper. they way you head tilts to the right side when you don’t really understand what’s going on. you have such a big heart and i want to experience it. i want it. i want you. and i don’t know why you’re so hesitant to let me in. you know me now, i let you. let me use my lit degree. you are my favorite poem. one i want to read forever.”

he pauses, “and neither the laughter in heaven above, now the demons down under the sea, can ever dissever my soul for the soul of the beautiful…” he replaces the famous name of the poem with your own.

“todd… i’m scared. not of you but of the feeling you bring out of me. i haven’t felt these before. you’re the only who can make me feel this. i tried to hate you, but the past two days have been… bliss.”

“ill catch you,” he pleads, “let me show you,”

he reaches out pulling the straps of your dress down.

you nod and he’s on you. his hands pulling your dress zipper down, you let the dress fall, nothing else on you. he steps back taking you in.

“fuck whatever your mom said, your prefect.” you whispers, stepping forward again, his lips on yours. he’s a hungry man and your his first meal.

his hands go under your thighs and he pulls you up. you do a little hip and wrap your legs around his waist. he carries you over the bed and when your back his the bed you unhook your legs as he undoes his belt and pulls his pants and boxers down.

you grab onto his tie and pull him down to your lips. he trails his mouth down to your collar bone, leaving small marks. he wants everyone to know who’s you are now.

his hand hooks under your leg, pulling it up slightly to wrap around his waist. your hands begin to unbutton the the shirt he wear but you find trouble. he stand quickly, ripping the tie off and ripping open the shirt. the buttons pop off and you laugh lightly at his urgency. his mouth shouts you up.

he can’t wait. he lines himself up with you and pushes in slowly.

“oh fuck todd,” you exclaim. he stretches you out slowly, sinking into you just as slowly.

you moan against his lips as he drowns out your moans.

he sinks lower, his own moans going into your mouth, “god you feel good sweetness, bet you taste just as good too,”

“find out,” you tell him. you look at each other and he raises his brows. he pulls out of you, you whine form his absence.

he falls to his knees, grabbing your hips and pulling you down towards him. his kisses down your thighs and at your entrance.

“stop teasin toddy,”

he groans against you as he inhales your scent, “fuck,” he groans and then he’s quick to lick you.

you’re already soaked and it doesn’t take much to push you to your climax. a few swipes of his tongue, his fucks you with his tongue, his nose nudging your clit in a perfect rhythm. you good his face against you as you cum.

a shout leaving your lips as he fucks you through it. his arm laying across your stomach, keeping you down as your hips try to pluck up into his face.

then he’s up at your face again, “you do in fact taste just a good,”

there’s now break before he bottoms out in your.

“too big,” you whine.

“you’re alright baby, you’re doing so good. look at me,” he tells you.

you open your eyes and see him looking down at you, “there those pretty eyes are. you ready to cum again?” he asks you with a tilted head.

you nod, “yes, please,”

“good job using your words baby,” his hand placing itself on your cheek with a swipe of his thumb across your bottom lip.

his lips meets yours as he begins to move back a forth. his pace is slow and you tell him as much. he takes that as an invitation to speed up.

he slams into you a couple of times. back and forth of nothing but pure bliss.

“todd im gonna-“

“hold it, come with me,”

he goes a few more times, his hand moving to your clit and rubbing. you clench around him and he close.

“okay, ready baby?”

you nod fervently.

“ come on,”

you both finish together. his pace slows as you both come. it’s a sweet, slow movement that helps you stay on the high for a while. he collapses beside you for a moment before rolling over and kissing you.

“nice job baby,” he tells you. you’re blissed out, head spinning and dizzy.

he laugh lightly and stands, he walks to the bathroom, running water over a wash cloth and coming back to clean you up.

he wishes you down, and places his t shirts over you. you slips his boxers on and slides in next to you.

he pulls you close to him, your body pressed against his. he kisses your neck.

“thanks for coming with me,” you mean it in more ways than one.

taglist:

@bluegardenn

[joshujin]

ot13 on love island usa

masterlist • submit a request 🚨 minors and blank blogs will be blocked

mini guide to love island for non-watchers!

cast song/dance: is this love by xg villa boys: scoups, joshua, hoshi, seungkwan, dino bombshells: jeonghan, wonwoo, mingyu, jun casa amor: woozi, dk, minghao, vernon

cw/tags: suggestive, regular reality tv trash things, you pick the winner a/n: this season pissed me tf off. did i watch every single night without fail? yeah. yeah, i did. but i'm going to write svt hcs about it bc i'm convinced my version would be more fun!!! anyway, remember this is love island so some of these guys are dumb, messy, toxic, or all of the above. that's what makes it fun! :) it is not-at-all a reflection of any of the members or how i see them. also, don’t think too hard about how many people are in the villa or how all the casa boys make it back. just enjoy it LOL.

scoups

♫ intro video song: fever - enhypen

he’s the OG guy who gets cuffed on day ONE but nobody dogs on him for it bc they’re kind of intimidated by him (bombshells are a different story; they give him so much shit). he obnoxiously makes out with his partner every moment of the day, and social media is all "do they even know anything about each other?" no. they do not. his partner doesn’t even realize his name isn’t actually scoups. but their physical chemistry goes crazy so whatever i guess. they get kicked out of the room early on bc they’re too noisy at night so they start sleeping (aka fucking) in soul ties. they fight a lot bc they’re both super jealous people. he’s immediately beefing with every single male bombshell that comes in and flat out ignores female bombshells. so much so, that america creates a misogynist scoups agenda. they watch as this man stares blankly in the other direction when female bombshells say hello. simply scoffs when they ask to to pull him for a chat. doesn’t even entertain breathing near any girls during challenges. the islanders kind of get annoyed with this behavior and they start to think he’s boring, but his partner is ofc very pleased with how “well-behaved” he is. but... she doesn't return that energy. she eagerly gives male bombshells her time and she happily kisses people during challenges (“it’s just a challenge!” “I DON’T CARE” “we aren’t even closed off!” “AGAIN. I DO NOT CARE!”), so he’s constantly raging lmao. when casa comes around and the producers desperately present him with someone a little more compatible with his expectations for a partner, he finally starts to open his eyes. he still doesn’t do anything bc as toxic as he can be sometimes, he’s still trying to be respectful! he does bring his casa girl back to the villa, though, and his villa partner has the crashout of all crashouts. he tries to calm her down and explain he just wants to explore, but she won't hear any of it, calling him all kinds of names. he doesn’t know why but he continues to try and get on her good side or at least explain why he brought his casa partner back. she just keeps ignoring him and talking to several guys (who won’t really give her much bc they’re scared of scoups). he’s making them both breakfasts every morning (OG girl keeps throwing the food out or even at him) and he keeps splitting his time between having nice conversations with casa girl and getting ignored by OG girl. and then... movie night happens and he sees what she was up to during her time at casa, and let's just say he's very happy he explored. anyway, she's voted out and he gets to experience some peace with his new partner, who genuinely likes him, knows his government name, and is completely uninterested in making him jealous or raising his blood pressure. both america and the villa like him a lot more after that lol.

💗: wins the heart rate challenge. as a firefighter. or devil. you decide.

jeonghan

♫ intro video song: strategy - twice feat. megan thee stallion

INSTIGATOR 🫵🏼 he’s one of the earlier bombshells, if not the very first one; his walk-in song is "1-800-hot-n-fun" by le sserafim. he comes in on a game night where the girls are blindfolded and ranking kisses from the villa boys. he makes out with every single one of the girls (♫ i like to dance when i party / i like to kiss everybody ♫ like, hello?) while the guys just have to watch LMAO. the girls unanimously agree that the last kiss was the best kiss and surprise! it’s fucking jeonghan. he's just hella smirking while the other guys are standing there, angry, clenching jaws and fists, and rolling their eyes and shit. his intro video is typical bombshell behavior: “i’m not here to make friends," “i don’t care who i make mad,” “i’m here for me and for love.” reader, he is absolutely not here for love but he is 1000000% here for the $100k prize. as such, he’s constantly whispering in people’s ears and trying to break everyone else up lmao. but he’s also so charismatic that even if some of his scheming comes to light, everyone still somehow tolerates him. some of them are even delighted by him. he gets a kick out of pissing the other men off by making out with their partners during challenges and plays innocent after, bro-ing it up with them and saying it was just for the game… just to turn around and tell the girls he loved the kiss and he'd like to get to know them (bruh. all of them...?). he never stays in one couple for long, but only bc he’s not really interested in anyone so they’re constantly choosing another guy at the next possible recoupling. regardless, he manages to stay in the game all season either from sheer luck, from friendship couplings, or from america voting him to stay in bc they like his mess and he does put annoying people in their place with his smart ass mouth. karma comes in the form of movie night, though, which is a fucking nightmare for this man lmfao. everyone sees how much he's been lying and gossiping and playing all sides, and the entire villa erupts into chaos. i’m talking multiple guys threatening violence. every single girl (including his own partner) throwing popcorn. his name trending worldwide on social media. he never made a meaningful connection bc he was too busy playing games and after making an enemy out of the entire island, he gets voted out shortly after movie night. but his personality is so funny on social media that america immediately forgives him. the remaining islanders even admit the house is a little sad and boring without him and they all become genuine besties with him post show.

joshua

♫ intro video song: stupid in love - max feat. huh yunjin

long-time fans of love island watch his intro video and immediately know this man should not be in the villa. the intro video goes like this. he says he's never been in a serious relationship bc he's scared of getting hurt. he wants someone he feels safe with and hasn't experienced that yet. he says his dream date can be anything, but that he'll think of it as perfect if the time goes by without him noticing bc he's enjoying her company so much. he says it feels silly to go on love island but there are few things he won't do for the sake of love. in short, everyone immediately pegs him for the sincere, honest-to-god LOVER BOY he is. most of the OG girls skip over him bc they all want a bad boy even if they won’t admit it (scoups gets the most choices to choose from for the first coupling lol), and they can smell joshua's good boy aura from a mile away. the first partner joshua gets is just super bestie vibes but as more and more of the girls get to know him, the more everyone starts to question if they want him instead. really, they’re just not used to men who properly listen to them the way he does (but yes, they still do want him instead). he makes a connection with a bombshell who makes it abundantly clear in her intro video that she’s going into the villa for joshua and only joshua ("it's time for me to let a real man love me, and i know those girls in the villa don't see what i do, but joshua? he is a real man."). she’s very forward with her intentions and being wanted so loudly is a really nice feeling for him. she gets tired of him being pulled for chats by every bombshell that comes after her bc they’ve all seen him on the show and know how sweet he really is. BUT! he stays true to his partner and he constantly recouples with her (he has the CUTEST recoupling speeches btw). both of them are on their best behavior during casa, and both of them are good sports about the other kissing islanders during challenges. she's upfront with every male bombshell that pulls her, informing them she’s Serious™️ about joshua and uninterested. he doesn’t do the same bc he’s kind of oblivious and thinks he’s just talking to new friends. but if girls ask him if he’s "open," he tells them hell fucking no (not verbatim bc he's too nice). they get chosen for the first outside villa date and they close things off. they're also the first couple chosen to go into the hideaway by the other islanders (no one fucks and tells but they glow differently hehe). a fan favorite to win!

jun

♫ intro song: filter - jimin

this man has never watched an episode of any version of love island in his entire life. he doesn’t know what it is, and he barely understands what’s happening. he was just scouted on social media and thought it would be a fun “for the plot” side quest. america votes that he should be the next bombshell and he arrives after a recoupling (his walk-in song is "move" by taemin). the girls who were left single and vulnerable are obviously over the goddamn moon (heh) and are all over him. girls who are coupled up are also all over him. unfortunately, bc he doesn’t know what’s happening or how any of this works, the asshole producers take advantage of that and tell him to steal a girl… from scoups (his toxic OG partner). he does and obviously causes insane levels of drama even though all he did was pull her for a chat. scoups starts by glaring at him and quickly graduates to yelling at him—telling him he’s being disrespectful, complaining that he should know they’re serious and shouldn’t have pulled her (“how would i know you’re serious…? i got here 5 minutes ago…” *entire villa has to hold scoups back*). so jun immediately wipes his hands clean of that, even avoiding the girls coupled up to chill guys or in friendship couplings who want to get to know him. nope! he sticks to talking to girls who aren’t coupled up at all. he’s DONE being a homewrecker!!! he makes breakfast for all the single girls, makes sure they all get chats from him so they’re not lonely, does whatever they wanna do—pingpong, working out, tanning, etc. basically, it’s giving… he adopted all of them...? he’s literally just being friendly esp bc he doesn’t want to even breathe around the coupled girls, but unbeknownst to him, the single girlies are all falling in love. they're fighting to be the one he couples up with, the girls he ignores are jealous he won’t even give them the time of day, and a few of the guys are kind of annoyed that all the attention is on the bombshell. jun ends up coupling with a girl he feels like is his best friend. she’s also the only one not constantly breathing down his neck so that's a nice plus. surprisingly, he ends up really liking her, and soon she’s the only one getting his breakfasts and playing pingpong with him. he doesn’t even realize how many hearts he broke, and america loves him for how oblivious and aloof he is about the entire process. he's literally just happy to be there and everyone is obsessed with that, including his partner. another fan favorite to win!

soonyoung

♫ intro song: lemon drop - ateez

an OG boy who serves himbo realness. he’s hot, he’s funny, and it seems like there isn’t a single thought in that beautiful head. after scoups, he’s a pretty popular pick for the first coupling, and he ends up choosing whoever he thinks is hottest. that fizzles out fast bc he finds her laugh a little grating and he’s simply too funny to be around someone whose laugh he doesn’t like. all is well, though, bc she finds herself more interested in someone else anyway. he quickly becomes the comic relief in the villa, the appointed class clown. there are so many screenshots of him on social media saying the funniest and/or dumbest things, and he becomes the most quotable islander in love island usa history. the downside is that he goes several days—maybe weeks—without any girls taking him seriously, and it annoys the fuck out of him bc hello!!! he’s hot??? and all any of them want from him are laughs?????? america notices this and votes for him to have a date with the next female bombshell. they hit it off, but when casa comes around, the house is full of girls who know soonyoung is hungry for some, ahem, proper attention and are too willing to give it to him. at the end of the day, he is still just a man. so he brings another girl back to the villa, and his original partner (who decided to remain single and wait for him) is devastated. so he in turn is also devastated (embarrassingly cries really hard in confessional, which makes it really hard for america to hate him). cue days of him not knowing what to do even though it’s clear his casa pairing is literally just based on lust. he just really doesn't want to hurt her even though he wants to be with his OG partner. but then the tweet challenge comes and someone gets “_____ is fr pissing me the fuck off bc why is he wasting his time with _____ when his soulmate is obviously _____!” they don’t even guess him as the answer, but when they read it aloud, he immediately thought of himself and his OG partner, and that was sign enough for him to come to his senses. he tells his casa pairing that he made a mistake and he’s so sorry but bye!!! then, he grovels for forgiveness from his OG partner. they ultimately recouple and make it to the finals without any other hiccups, though there's a lot of joking about this incident ("remember when you left me for a hoe you knew for two days." "no, actually, no i do not."). is that healthy? maybe not. but either way, these two are in luv.

📲: the audience is absolutely floored when they realize soonyoung is not a true himbo, as he is a successful surgeon. or lawyer. or engineer. you decide.

wonwoo

♫ intro song: bouncy - ateez

ohohohoho. imagine this. it’s the heart race challenge, and it’s not like this current season’s bs where they do it as a couple; NO, it’s solo! the girls are out at the fire pit, and the guys go give them lap dances one at a time, by themselves! when they’re done, they’re all brought up to the balcony and are confused about why they aren’t being brought back to the fire pit to join the girls. then, boom. "2 baddies" by nct starts playing and we see a porsche pulling into the driveway in slow-motion. two new male bombshells (whose faces we don’t see yet) get out of the car… in slow-mo. we watch them enter the villa in—you guessed it—slow-mo. we get zoomed in, slow-mo shots of golden tan skin. wide ass shoulders. abs. tiddies. ass. t-aychi-u-n-d-e-r thighs. the camera pans out and not only is wonwoo walking in (in slow-mo) but mingyu is too (also in slow-mo). they’re both dressed in slutty ass cop costumes. they’re smirking at each other in slow-mo. they’re high fiving in slow-mo. they’re winking at the camera in slow-mo. they’re looking over their shoulders in slow-mo. they’re just existing and being hot in slow-mo. you watch love island. you get it. they finally get back to normal speed. they’re introduced and immediately get to doing their thang on the girls, dancing and grinding and kissing and licking and swallowing faces—normal love island things. the guys are all watching from the balcony and screaming in agony (tiger-dressed soonyoung being the loudest ofc). after the game, the producers don’t let them change into regular clothes, so wonwoo is awkwardly trying to cover all his skin as he gets to know the girls. this man has his arms crossed, hands tucked into his armpits, forearms over his tits and covering his nipples. he hunches over when he sits to try and cover his abs and maybe draw less attention to his leather speedos. it’s not working at all. everyone is still ogling him. one girl tells him to hold on and when she gets back, she has a throw blanket. she hands it to him and he gratefully uses it to wrap around his shoulders. he blushes and quietly thanks her, and he’s touched by her observant nature. they talk about their families and interests; they realize they both like games. they talk for a long time, and when it’s time to go to bed, they clean up, meet back in the bedroom, and they sit on her bed and are still talking. the lights go out but they don’t let that stop them; these mfs keep yapping. everyone is begging them to shut up and go to sleep, so they finally relent, and wonwoo goes back to his own bed. from then on, they’re quite literally inseparable and they couple up at the earliest opportunity. these two + mingyu (since he and wonwoo immediately became bombshell besties) are america's three musketeers, constantly voted villa favorites for everything. whenever tiktoks are made of them, there's always at least one (but usually several) "may this kind of love find me EXPEDITIOUSLY" comment.

📲: many people ship the three musketeers as a throuple :)

woozi

♫ intro song: back for more - txt

our first casa boyyyyyyy hehe <3 the casa boys are ofc introduced in their swimming trunks and mans is obviously hot and hunky. his intro video is just as hot as he is, and the audience learns a few things: he had his heart broken a year ago and hasn't dated since, he came to love island mostly for shits and giggles, and his friends are convinced this is what he needs to do to move on. he shyly says he thinks his friends have a very different idea than he does of what moving on entails (they just want him to get his dick wet lmao), but he would prefer to make a genuine connection, though as a skeptic of reality television, he truthfully doesn't expect to. he's okay if all he does is make friends and have fun on a free vacation. a few of the girls from the villa are uninterested in exploring connections bc they have their partners already, but the rest of the girls are in the trenches, either heartbroken by a villa boy or overlooked by them. as woozi gets to know everyone, his attention is caught by a girl who's ofc super stunning but more than that, is soooo soft and funny and empathetic and kind, it leaves him sort of breathless… but she’s one of the girls already with a connection. she and her partner aren’t closed off yet and she expresses her interest in woozi, but she also makes it clear she’s really torn about it. she does bring him to the villa, but when she sees how gutted her partner is over it, it throws what she and woozi have going off track. she keeps flip-flopping between the two, and the only person woozi is interested in is her. america definitely ships them bc her OG partner is lowkey an asshole and constantly ogling and talking about other girls, but it’s america… voting can only do so much. so even though they try to vote them onto dates or vote her and her OG partner apart, she ultimately does not get the hint, and she chooses the other guy. woozi’s obviously hurt, but he tries to remind himself he was just here for the plot (he fails). everyone in the villa is sad to see him leave and it’s generally well-known among the islanders that everyone prefers woozi. but aur well. has a jalen type arc where he gets a million followers after exiting the villa LMAO

minghao

♫ intro song: invitation - junny feat. gaeko

another casa boyyyyyy <3 upon being introduced to the villa girls, his connection with one of them is immediate. they can’t stop glancing at each other, smiling, giggling. they basically want the host to stfu and leave so they can go chat already. when the host finally makes her exit, they practically make a beeline to each other but the producers are like uh uh uh! no! group chats first! he’s just giving them his signature minghao glare but that’s not gonna stop him. he shoves another casa boy out of the way to be able to sit next to her. he’ll ask questions and a girl will answer it and he’ll just be like “okay yeah whatever, what about you, though?” and he’ll turn his attention to his girl. lowkey rude? LOL but only in the name of LUV. when they finally do get time together, the sparks are flying and they’re attached at the hip. they’re sharing a bed at night, he’s making her breakfast, he’s holding tea ceremonies for her, she’s showing him how to do yoga, they love all the same music—it’s a match made in heaven!!! … until they get back to the villa. make no mistake, minghao’s partner is single as hell and one of the girls who was constantly overlooked and under-appreciated in the villa, but of course, one of the musty ass men who left her for the first bombshell that caught his attention sees her with minghao and immediately wants her back. NOT ON XU MF MINGHAO’S WATCH LMAO. this man is a menace. he’s making out with her in front of this guy. he’s waxing poetic about her when all the guys are making breakfast. he sees that the dude brought her breakfast before he did and he throws the idiot’s plate out and replaces it with his. in front of him. america is living for his behavior. haters call him possessive, the real ones know he’s just a fucking king!!! and his girl? head over heels in love. not even interested in that other dude, but if minghao wants to keep acting like that, who is she to stop him hehehe. booktok loves him.

mingyu

♫ intro song: chk chk boom - stray kids

kim mingyu starring as himbo islander #2 with a heart of gold. as you know, he comes in with wonwoo hehe. and man, this mf enjoys the attention. he’s chatting everyone up. the girls love him. THE GUYS love him. no one can hate this man bc he’s so funny and ditzy and charismatic. he probably goes a while just bouncing from girl to girl not bc he’s trying to but bc nothing just ever really clicks, and america just keeps saving him even though he’s made zero serious connections, but no one minds bc his vibes are immaculate and he’s very respectful and kind. but ofc, a bombshell comes in and he finally finds his match, and it’s probably bc she’s the only one so far that’s taken him seriously. she’s around for more than just how fun he is; she asks him thought-provoking questions and she sees how emotionally intelligent he is and even though she’s obsessed with the himbo vibes (bc she’s also kinda got the same thing going on), more than anything, she just really likes his personality. he tries to be open and not-at-all jealous about her exploring and talking to other guys, so she gives everyone a chance, but she figures out fairly early on she’s only interested in mingyu. unfortunately, they don’t last too long bc in an elimination where the girls vote a female islander off and the boys vote a male islander off, the girls vote mingyu’s partner off since she’s the newest and they just don’t know her as well. he doesn’t hesitate to leave with her, and ofc, it causes loads of drama bc everyone loves him, and all the guys get mad at all the girls lmfao. they give it a real shot out in the world and it works out. they’re in luv hehe <3

seokmin

♫ intro song: love hangover - jennie feat. dominic fike

same genre as jun in that he has no idea what’s happening on this mf island. his friends applied on his behalf as a joke and he got cast. he was brought to the island as a casa boy, and he’s confused about why they keep calling it the spanish word for house when they’re in fiji but he’s too shy to ask, especially bc everyone seems to have in-depth knowledge about everything that’s happening at all times. like, why does everyone keep talking about america like it’s a person in the room? why are people voting on unimportant things like this? why does everyone keep screaming about texts? he’s so lost and he’s trying so hard to hide it, just going with the flow. he’s talking to whoever wants to pull him for a chat, making people breakfast bc that’s apparently what he’s supposed to do, not swimming bc the girls look at him crazy when he asks if they want to. brought back to the villa in a friendship coupling that ends fairly fast when she finds someone she likes more romantically. jun probably notices how lost he is and explains as best he can (though he’s still a little confused himself), and he’s like, “wait, i can’t fall in love in a month, what???” but all the guys are obv like you’d be surprised!!! so he tries his best, chatting with single girls, trying to be their ideal type, basically kinda forcing connections but it’s clear he’s lowkey miserable about this bc he thought he was just coming here for fun (more like a jersey shore type show than a dating show). he lasts a while bc the islanders keep saving his cutieful, clueless ass, but he surprises everyone when during one recoupling, he pulls himself out of the game and decides he’s going home bc he’s homesick and he just wants to have fun with his homies again without having to eat a girl’s face every other day. he comes home to thousands of new followers and gets tons of sponsorship offers. he accepts one from the dodgers lmao. i honestly see him reconnecting with one of the girls on the show outside the villa and falling for her more naturally in a setting that isn’t essentially a fishbowl for everyone to watch and tap at.

seungkwan

♫ intro song: shoong! - taeyang feat. lisa

OG VILLA BOY! … and resident therapist. he most accurately represents america’s opinion on this show. if the viewers think someone’s shady, seungkwan is the first to clock it on the island. if the viewers find someone annoying, seungkwan makes it clear he does too. basically, the audience now relies on seungkwan to be the voice of reason in the villa. he’s consistently receiving the most votes, both as an individual and as a couple (he’s with another OG villa girl the entire time and honestly, america doesn’t think she serves enough cunt to be with him but they keep voting them best couple bc they love seungkwan so much). she lets that get to her head and becomes insufferable, so he very obviously tunes out of the coupling early on but doesn’t care to formally uncouple. mostly bc this man is billing HOURS talking every other islander through their incredibly suppressed feelings. he’s telling scoups he needs to fucking relax. he’s asking jeonghan if he received enough attention from his parents as a child. he helps hosh unpack his need to please everyone at his own detriment. he’s serving as a shoulder to cry on for all the girls. he’s telling them they deserve better even if some of them are crying about his own friends. you get the idea. he’s having fun for the most part bc hello, it’s still a free vacation, but he is getting increasingly fed up with being surrounded by grown ass people whose frontal lobes refuse to develop. his facial expressions and reactions become the most used memes of the season. so much so, people who don’t watch are using them and just being like “who’s this funny guy and who is torturing him enough to be making faces like this?” salvation comes in the form of a casa girl, who’s been watching his journey on the island and is ready to free him of his therapy shackles. and she does that by… giving him therapy. girly sits him down and is like, “hey, so let’s talk about why you only feel useful and worthy when you’re serving and helping others. why is that?” seungkwan is flabbergasted. and by the end of the convo, he’s crying a little, she knows him so intimately, it’s like they’ve known each other their whole lives, and he does feel liberated as house therapist. he recouples with her and actually starts to enjoy the island the way the others have—he’s making more time for his partner and for himself, he’s being honest when he doesn’t have the mental capacity to listen to ashleigh cry about chad for the nth time, and he’s genuinely falling for his match. unfortunately, their time comes to an end in one of those weirdly voted elimination rounds where no one has any true control of who goes home, and fan (and islander!) favorite seungkwan is booted off the island. a source later reveals that seungkwan got two hours to say goodbye instead of the usual 30 minutes bc everyone was so distraught about him leaving LOL. he gets dozens of invitations for interviews and he and his girl continue to explore each other out in the real world <3

vernon

♫ intro song: sexy nukim - balming tiger feat. RM (RM’s verse)

casa boy who is besties with fellow casa boy, seokmin. why? bc they’re both so confused about what’s happening. vernon catches on a lot faster but doesn’t explain to dokey bc he thinks it would just stress him out (and he was obviously correct). he, on the other hand, takes the information well, and goes along with these little chats, getting to know people and kissing a few girls who seem to want it here and there. but he’s also just like ┐(￣ヘ￣ )┌ about everything. he doesn’t realize he’s kind of in a relationship with someone until everyone’s cheering that they “closed things off,” and he’s perplexed about why everyone’s so happy he and his friend agreed they would stop kissing people bc honestly, these kissing games are gross and he’s getting the ick so bad (not at all realizing that he was agreeing to exclusivity with his partner. why does everything have to have a vague term??? if he wanted to be exclusive, he’d ask someone to be his girlfriend. if he wanted to express interest, he would just say it instead of asking someone to go to “soul ties” like WHAT???). so he’s uncomfortably exclusive, trying to figure out how to break it to this girl that he actually doesn’t want to be in a couple at all and that he truthfully had no idea what was happening in the conversation they had about this. as he thinks about it, he’s seen all over the villa by himself, deep in thought as he scribbles things in a notepad. when he finally sits with her, he admits that he doesn’t know what the following means:

closing things off - thought this was deciding i was done dating people here bc the kissing is tiring

soul ties - i don’t believe in soulmates but kinda crazy every single person in here does tho

soul ties is crazy - yeah i agree?

good chat - wym they have good chat? just say you like talking to them

pull for a chat - kinda rude we keep stealing people away. why can’t we all just talk as a group of friends

america - why do we care so much about america

his partner is dumbfounded and suffice to say, she immediately recouples, and while vernon isn’t eliminated, he’s left “vulnerable” (whatever that means), and he decides he’s done! he doesn’t want to be using his brain like this on vacation! one moment, he’s laughing with his friends and drinking, the next, it’s morning and the narrator says, “vernon has left the villa. he’s tired of having to refer to his personal glossary to understand what anyone’s saying.”

dino

♫ intro song: get a guitar - riize

our last OG villa boy! he, unlike many of his friends here on the island, is a love island expert. a love island fanboy even. he’s watched every season of every version, and he’s a true believer in the process (though he doesn’t have much data to support this actually works other than his self-proclaimed parents, leah and miguel but that’s honestly enough). this man is eager from the jump. he zeroes in on the girls that are his type, he’s having good chat, he’s delivering his best banter, he’s making bomb breakfasts, he’s bringing the girl he’s most interested in up to soul ties. he wants to be in love and he’s hustling for it! but unfortunately, he doesn’t realize that maybe he’s a little more in love with the idea of love than he is with anybody he meets or couples up with. still, he convinces himself he’s in love with every partner, then when they choose someone else, he’s heartbroken for a day before he’s bouncing back trying to find the next soulmate. seungkwan is in the trenches trying to calm the mood swings that come with this man’s intense heartbreak cycle (“have you ever stopped to wonder why you have such a desperate need for love?” “what no go away i’m heartbroken.”). even with no true connection, he’s kept around bc he’s wholesome and cute and sosososo fucking funny; he, hosh, and seungkwan are truly the comedic relief in the villa from the start. he’s saved vote after vote bc america is endeared by him. the show has a people’s princess and america’s sweetheart (leah and amaya papaya respectively—argue with the wall), and now they have america’s little brother: dino! unfortunately, he can only go so far without a solid relationship, but he’s probably the person who lasted the longest in love island history while single almost the entire time (he’s booted off the episode before the finale). worry not, this man comes home to many many women who are convinced they’re in love with him. he takes to the fame just fine.

sebong island playlist

host walk-in songs: ・ bad influence - svt (explicit!!!) ・ mantra - jennie ・ jungle - s.coups ・ sugar rush - bibi ・ guess - charli xcx feat. billie eilish ・ talking body - tove lo bombshell songs: ・ hot - svt ・ thunder - svt ・ good to me - svt ・ ash - svt ・ water - svt ・ march - svt argument/breakup songs: ・ i don't understand but i luv u - svt ・ happier than ever - billie eilish ・ yours - jin ・ toxic till the end - rosé ・ traitor - olivia rodrigo ・ somebody else - the 1975 voted out songs: ・ our dawn is hotter than day - svt ・ spring day - bts ・ sign of the times - harry styles ・ don't dream it's over - sixpence none the richer ・ come home - onerepublic ・ die trying - michl falling in luv songs: ・ fortunate change - joshua ・ home - svt ・ lights down low - max ・ stars in the sky - phora feat. jhene aiko ・ tokyo love hotel - rina sawayama ・ serendipity - jimin happy going-to-sleep songs: ・ what's good - svt ・ talk that talk - twice ・ endless summer symphony - kyle ・ i like you - post malone feat. doja cat ・ trivia: love - rm ・ sweet dreams - j-hope feat. miguel heart race challenge songs: ・ cheers - svt ・ house of cards - bts ・ neva play - megan thee stallion feat. rm ・ pop, lock & drop it - huey ・ my bag - idle ・ big booty - gucci mane feat. megan thee stallion winner announcement song: to you - svt

tag list: aka my love island watch partners that asked to be tagged LMAO @se0kied0key @jjknj

[redfacedpalindrome]

so while i do have a very real longer project going that i desperately want to write...as soon as i started i've started dying to write something else! so here's a little snippet of a medical/hospital au lestappen

lestappen, 800 words:

The ER is way too chaotic to get ahold of the charge nurse, and fuck if Max remembers what idiot is running the trauma department this month. Those damned fools rotated in and out every couple weeks, too busy chasing their next adrenaline high by bungee jumping off the Burj Khalifa or whatever the fuck. So Max does something extremely reasonable and not at all crazy: he hops up on the nurses station, cups his hands around his mouth and yells.

“HEY! Which one of you idiots let a cardiac patient die in ten minutes?”

One key thing to keep in mind: shouting a question like that in a packed emergency department filled with patients who, at least in their own minds, are fighting for their life, is usually a good source of mass panic. Another thing to keep in mind: Max became a cardiothoracic surgeon because he likes patients just fine but he likes them better when they’re in bed, calm, and preferably largely asleep. Oscar buries his face in his hands, not willing to claim any responsibility for this mess. The charge nurse, Susie, finally appears and uses the edge of a clipboard to smack the back of Max’s knee, making him buckle over and essentially fall to the ground.

“Ow. Susie, what the fuck?”

“Stop yelling – and better yet stop yelling stupid shit in my ER, and I won’t hit you.” Max massages the back of his knee and hisses. “Everything is perfectly under control, we just have some dramatic doctors on staff. As you were.” And everyone just…listens to her. Within minutes the ER has calmed down (relatively) and returned to its business. Susie is scary.

“So who’s the cardiac patient who died? I need to review the case, see what got missed while I wasn’t here.” Susie smiles at him beatifically. “No cardiac patient died, Max.”

“Then why the fuck did they stop paging me? What trauma room are they in? I can help, I’m not letting a trauma patient die down here with cardiac complications-”

“–I see now, what Sebastian meant by self-important.” Max almost reels back in shock as he hears an accented voice from behind him. His accent is difficult to place, definitely French in origin, but like he’s spent a lot of time around English speakers. Then he registers what the voice said and he pivots in indignation.

“I don’t know who the fuck you are, but-” holy fuck you’re pretty. Max’s brain has gone offline for sure. This has to be a derm resident or something; the skin under his eyes is glowing, so there’s no way he’s pulled an all-nighter in this century. His eyes crinkle in the corners, and that doesn’t do anything to blunt the impact of those beautiful green irises. Max kind of wants to map his facial structure on feel alone. He wonders if the man will believe that they need to use him as a model for a surgical skills lab.

“Dr. Verstappen, oui? I’ve heard a lot about you.” Max is still mute. He thinks he can hear Oscar chuckling behind him. Traitor.

“We stopped paging you because we didn’t need you.” Max bristles then, still not sure who this person even is. “Listen, pretty privilege, I’m fairly certain the only person down here qualified to decide whether I’m needed or not in a cardiac emergency is me.” The man looks wildly amused, mouthing ‘pretty privilege’ to himself. Max has never been more confused.

“That’s Dr. Pretty Privilege to you, Verstappen. As in, your new chief of trauma surgery and head of the ED. Though, my name is actually Dr. Charles Leclerc, but you can call me pretty anytime.” Max scoffs. “You won’t last a week. I don’t put up with incompetence, even if it has a pretty face.” Now Oscar is starting to intervene, and even Max isn’t sure where this is coming from – there’s just something about this guy that gets under his skin.

Charles’s face has hardened, no longer amused. “I don’t either, Verstappen. I also don’t put up with graceless jerks who wander into my emergency department acting like they’re god’s gift to the scalpel and the only man in the principality that can do a damn pericardiocentesis.”

“You did a pericardiocentesis? Without supervision?”

“Without-putain de dieu, get out of my emergency department.” Charles’s eyes are blazing now, and he looks inches from shoving Max through the double doors. “There are plenty of cardiothoracic surgeons in this hospital, and we will page one of them when we need. You step foot on this floor without my permission, and I’ll run you over with my car.”

The thing is, Max knows he’s kind of a prick. He even recognizes he’s being a bonus prick right now it’s just–

–whatever. If this guy, Dr. Charles Leclerc, wants to be a prick right back? Max will just get him fired.

------------------------------------------------

quick note: while i am rapidly approaching my medical education all that really means is i'm aware of all the cliches stereotypes and inaccuracies i've worked into this; it for some reason does not mean that i can circumvent them. no offense is meant from any of this and pls god do not assume any of this is fact

[drunkenskunk]

Oh boy another Drunk Skunk rant!

So I've been on vacation this last week, and I've got another week of vacation ahead of me. You would think that during this time, I would be doing anything productive, like writing one of the dozens of ideas rattling around my head, or trying to draw the comic of that one short story about pre-transition Tuera.

Instead, I have spent most of this time playing:

Because of course I have. I am a weak willed coward and have no defense against The Intrusive Thought.

However: during this time, when I could've been doing anything else more productive, I came to a strange realization. It's one of those things that I'm sure someone has already said, at some point, somewhere... but it's gonna make me feel better if I write them all down anyway.

Mostly because it feels like a convoluted tangle of several thoughts, I want to get them all sorted, and I can't think of a better way to do this than in front of tons of strangers on the internet.

Interestingly, this realization didn't start with WoW, it started with me rewatching that Noah Caldwell-Gervais' Diablo video, again. I've watched this video (and "watched" it in the background) many, many times, because it's really good, but something stood out to me on this particular rewatch.

It was that bit right at the very end of the Diablo 3 section, where he's talking about the boss fight against Malthael in Reaper of Souls:

"At the end of Diablo 3, your character, the Nephalem, is certainly stronger than any angel or demon. Death itself is the final boss, then. It is impossible to escalate from here, so the game ends, as is traditional, with a melancholy and temporary victory that leaves the future uncertain."

And that is when it hit me like a ton of bricks:

This is why WoW sucks lately. We reached that point where it was impossible to escalate further many expansions ago, but the game has kept going.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't the ONLY reason. There are a LOT of contributing factors (and I'll try and get to some of them), but I feel like that is The Big One. It's the Root Cause of a lot of other problems. The game has existed for way too long.

But that's also not the whole picture. Do you remember, a while back, when I was trying to figure out what the fuck was actually happening in the plot for The War Within? Well, I did eventually figure it out. Sort of. But in doing so, I noticed something.

In trying to untangle the story from the start of Vanilla (mostly to jog my own memory of 20 years ago, holy fucking shit I am so goddamn old) to the current expansion of The War Within, I noticed that there was a very slow but steady emphasis on the Player Character being referred to as, like... a legit hero, or "Commander" in Warlords, or "Champion" in everything post Legion.

I'm not bringing this up as if it's some big revelation. This has been a Known Problem with WoW for many years, so much so that even in my absence I heard people saying shit like "I'm tired of being Azeroth's Champion, I want to go back to being nobody again." I bring this up, because I think I've figured out why the game keeps insisting that the player is a "Champion."

The story of WoW, if you actually follow the quests as written (which I did to try and figure out what the fuck is going on jesus fucking christ what the fuck is wrong with me), are working under the assumption that the character experiencing these quests has been playing the game since Vanilla. And not just playing the game since Vanilla, but the story is sort of... taking it as read that they player has done EVERYTHING in EVERY expansion.

Like so much else in the storytelling of WoW, it's not... good, but it does make sense. At least once the layers of bullshit have been stripped away. Incidentally, that's also how I'd describe the plot of The War Within, now that I actually know what's going on: it's not good writing, but it makes sense.

When you stop to think about it through that lens, specifically, a lot of questionable writing decisions suddenly become a bit more understandable. Slightly. Because this hypothetical completionist player who has been playing the game since Vanilla that the story is apparently being written for... would be completely ridiculous.

Because, even in Vanilla, the quests that send you to dungeons and raids, if you'd ever actually stopped to read the text (which I did in my research to piece everything together) acknowledges that these are challenges for groups of people... but there is also this implication that you are the one in charge. The quests assume that You are The Party Leader, organizing this adventure to kill dragons, or elemental lords, or Old Gods sealed away for thousands of years. Of course The Player Character is regarded as a hero! ... right?

And, y'know? It's a shame that that is the angle they decided to focus on, and subsequently expand, when it came to the story. Because I think it betrays a fundamental misunderstanding of why MMOs like WoW worked in the first place. They are multiplayer games, first and foremost. Yeah, one of us can be "strong," sure, but we will always be stronger when working together. That sense of community you get with a bunch of people working towards a common goal, that is one of the primary draws of MMOs.

We weren't important back in Vanilla, at least not at first. We were just an ordinary person, rising to the challenges set before us, along with all of our friends. We weren't a prophesied hero, we weren't a "Champion," we were just... The Person Who Was Available. And more than that, one of the other big draws, at least back in Vanilla, was the novelty of being able to exist as a person in this world that we'd only ever experienced before in three strategy games.

Then again, when you look back at the RTS games - and specifically, the Founding of Durotar campaign in Frozen Throne - you realize that a lot of these problems have existed since before WoW was even a thing. I've often said that the Founding of Durotar felt a bit like a proof of concept of what Blizz wanted to do for WoW, just in the Warcraft 3 engine. Because Rexxar also wasn't a destined hero at first... he started off kinda like us. He was The Person Who Was Available. And wouldn't you know it, he ended that campaign as the Champion of the Horde. But we didn't notice that being a problem, back then... because that story came to an end. It was allowed to stop.

And that brings me back to the original problem. Because what do you do with a player character who has killed dragons, elemental lords, Old Gods, and everything else on the way? Where do you possibly go from there when you've already committed to this course for the story?

Well... you escalate.

Things get bigger. The threats get larger. The danger gets more extreme. The list of accomplishments under the player character's belt as they overcome these challenges grows. And grows. And grows. Things just keep escalating and building and escalating and building and the game is forced to acknowledge that everything else that came before has been done, and been done by you, specifically, even if the character you're playing didn't or couldn't... because it would be completely unfeasible and make even LESS SENSE to try and write different quest text based on what the current character has actually done, specifically. It just keeps going on and on and on and on...

But you can't keep doing that forever. At least, not under normal circumstances. Because doing that means things will just keep getting more and more ridiculous, and the titles and accolades will ring more and more hollow. Sure, you're a "Champion" in the quest text... but everyone else is a "Champion," too. Because the quest text isn't talking to you. It's talking to the hypothetical (and probably imaginary) completionist player that all this stupid escalation is apparently being written for.

We passed the Point of No Return and have significantly exceeded the Ridiculous Escalation Critical Mass Threshold several expansions ago. But because of the corporate machinations of ActivisionBlizzardKing - and now Micro$oft - World of Warcraft just... keeps going. It WILL keep going. Despite how many people have left the game over the years, it is still an economic powerhouse. It's still making the company literal boatloads of cash. And because of this, World of Warcraft is not allowed to die.

... aw, dang. Now I've gone and made myself sad again.

[beingnotseeming]

you know i genuinely miss tumblr and the connectedness of having mutuals that there’s a closeness with even if y’all never actually dm or really talk but you show up in each other’s notifications all the time and there’s just a beautiful familiarity

and with that said i also miss when ask games were more prominent so definitely wanna put some fun/interesting questions together and post em in the future

[geddy-leesbian]

I'm realizing I barely make any edits/shit posts for other people like I used to. there was a point where I was making shit for people unprompted at least several times a week and now I can't even remember the last thing I made specifically for anyone else. it kinda makes me sad but also I don't think anyone really cared at all about my stupid little edits in the first place and also it was just starting to suck for me. I can give and give and give and spontaneously want to make things for other people, for their fics or just silly discord messages, because they inspired me

and then none of my effort is reciprocated. my folder for stuff I've made for other people has like 60 pics (and I recently deleted a lot of the large files from the foldee to free up space on my phone, it had a lot more) and there's only 9 pics people have made for me. I don't want to sound ungrateful or entitled but I've really just lost the urge to make stuff for other people when I know it's always going to be a one-sided thing. I don't think anyone's ever made anything for me unprompted really, 95% sure everything in my stuff from friends folder was requested or for my birthday or one of my previous mental breakdowns, not any random out of the blue "I loved your fic/concept and wanted to make something" like I've done for other people on so many occasions

so it's like yeah I'm tired and having a selfish arc all I want to do is make stuff for my own fics and AU's because the only person who gets inspiration from them is me and I just gotta accept that and appreciate that at least I can make cool self indulgent stuff for myself. like sorry but I don't care how much I love your fic I'm not spending hours making a cool edit to show my appreciation when what will happen when I post the edit is a million people reblog it also praising your fic and it'll get more attention than any of my fic posts. if I'm not going to get similar energy from you I don't want to spend my time and effort. like at this point I can only see myself making an edit for a fic I like by an author who consistently comments on my fics too. I don't want anything straight up transactional (like a deal that I'll make something for X comments or whatever) but I just don't want to spend hours doing things for people that don't care and wouldn't spend any amount of their own time on anything for me, I need to feel like you care about me at least a little

so I'm just going to focus on edits for my fics because I'm the only one who will ever care enough to make things. it could definitely be worse, I can't draw for shit but at least I came to the RE fandom with many years of gimp and picsart experience from doing RP promo edits so I can make SOMETHING visual to go with my fics. I'd probably actually lose my mind if I didn't have that going for me

[illegiblehandwriting1]

fyi i swear something's going on w/ legend, neither he nor wars are emotionless i promise, they're both just mentally ill but in different ways. leg sees problem. ignores feelings. fixes problem. (can't fix the problem.) wars sees problem. saw problem wrong. realizes what he did. wants to take it back. (can't take it back.) Also if y'all are disappointed about their arcs, sorry? i guess? point isn't them though, the point is that it's an aftermath story. If i can stuff in more bonus themes within the theme then that's a huge plus (emotionally repressed explorer leg, wwI vet wars yeet)

anyhoo bear with me, Things are Happening. Setup is occurring. and Hylia fans I swear I won't insult her forever, she's actually pretty chill.

writing hard. halp

[seventh-district]

tfw you're trying to write a Genshin fic but ur memory is shit so u have to leave urself [REMINDERS] to come back and correct your spelling/figure out NPC names/scour the wiki to double-check character and story lore, because if u even so much as glance away from the google doc in the moment you'll lose all of your writing momentum

coughs [link to some other (better) excerpts from the fic since the post didn't make it into the tags and i'm too lazy to remake it]

[cowboy-robooty]

it sounds like a joke but im 100% serious when i say that the shit im learning from ochem feels worth i think about how it helps me further my understanding of what love is (longtime running background thinking project)

[ifyourereadingthisblinktwice]

i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it

[moreaujeans]

genuinely felt like a swamp monster just now that was a ghastly amount of slip

[chatterbox-juice]

GOVERNMENTS! LEADERSHIPS! WOO!! i hate politics but Jamaa having a flag (last time I checked) suggests that there's some type of government or organization right?? like, yeah the jammatians could've just joined together and said something like "we stand together forever" but no. nah. no thank you. SO, i haven't thought about fully implementing this yet, but i kinda want to? hear me out; the lands of Jamaa have different pseudo-governments and cultures. there's only so much you can do in a game that [was] focused about educating kids the alphas don't count here k? Jamaa Township has a council-based "government;" the alphas make decisions. Township is a jack-of-all-trades thing, anyone from anywhere lives there, so the culture is one big loving doting hug of complete fuckery. Nothing makes sense except the things that do. A leopard runs the news station alongside a penguin. A great horned owl is playing the orchestra on top of the diamond shop. Jam Mart is always empty, a room filled with nothing but pillows exists, it's always crowded and nobody knows personal space even if it gutted them. It just makes sense. Appondale and Kimbara, which are in a territory dispute in my rewrite, both have a vague government structure following the same thing; battle. Appondale and Kimbara both LOVE battle, but in different ways. Appondale, and every other land, by default, also has the alphas that live there in charge (ex. Atlas and his pride, Olive, Biff, etc.) Outside of that "official" government, it's a chieftain system. Tribes in Appondale are somewhat isolated. News gets around, but everyone wants to be left alone outside of events. A gathering for something and other happens, Appondalians (?) celebrate and build camaraderie, and then the camaraderie is basically forgotten about when they retreat to their respective tribes, families, etc. Kimbara, being a smaller land in my rewrite, dabbles in military aristocracy. Protection is NEEDED, and since Kimbara is so bare, warlords are celebrated instead of regular chieftains. Tactical brilliance on the battlefield is what earns you respect. If you have a good sturdy build in Kimbara, use it! They're probably more interconnected because of this. Not necessarily hosting meetings per say, but maybe just little things, like marriages between different tribes. Castes most likely exist in families because of this, we'll see.

Being a warlord's offspring isn't earning you any leverage in Kimbara; blood is as thick as water until it's on the ground. Meritocracy but not really but actually kind of.

In Appondale, blood means everything, to the point of family heads being the ones who call the shots for the land, especially noticeable in Atlas' pride, where obviously the males/head of the family is in charge.

also here's proof about my au's map im transferring it to digital rn

[cephaloph0re]

we're going back to the first thanksgiving

everyone lets do this ok? play touys