#looking for unity here - no isolation allowed

[illegiblehandwriting1]

fyi i swear something's going on w/ legend, neither he nor wars are emotionless i promise, they're both just mentally ill but in different ways. leg sees problem. ignores feelings. fixes problem. (can't fix the problem.) wars sees problem. saw problem wrong. realizes what he did. wants to take it back. (can't take it back.) Also if y'all are disappointed about their arcs, sorry? i guess? point isn't them though, the point is that it's an aftermath story. If i can stuff in more bonus themes within the theme then that's a huge plus (emotionally repressed explorer leg, wwI vet wars yeet)

anyhoo bear with me, Things are Happening. Setup is occurring. and Hylia fans I swear I won't insult her forever, she's actually pretty chill.

writing hard. halp

[justcallme-ange]

What are some DSMP character or worldbuilding headcanons you have that you've never seen anywhere else? Pls talk about them.

Oooh, this is a tough one. So first thing’s first, I am very very new to Minecraft. Like I literally just got into playing beginning of this year. So a lot of my knowledge is either from watching Techno and Dream or fandom. So a lot of my headcanons are mishmashes of ones I've seen before. However these are just a few of the stuff floating around in my head that I haven't really seen elsewhere - sorry if this is long ^^

Worldbuilding wise…

Something I headcanon that I haven’t really seen before is that there’s like a master world - like a domain where all things originate. And player worlds/SMPs are offshoots/branches/copies of this world. So everything is interconnected, and how each world is functionally the same, but may have variations.

Another world building thing I see touched on but not really elaborated is that while there is a difference between player and mob, it's less god vs animal - and more like humans vs elves (at least for the humanoid looking mobs). Like they're not mindless (cept for zombies), and that these mobs have their own civilizations and customs outside of what players can see. In this case the mobs are like humans with short lifespans and only a little magical power - while players are the elves with longer lifespans that can be extended through magical means. This I guess is my justification for hybrids and and explanation on Admins being demigods?

DSMP character wise…

I only really play around with like... 3 characters so-

I headcanon that Techno while being pretty good about keeping a level head is prone to anxiety (pretty sure that's canon) so when he beds down for the night he tends to sleep with something heavy on top of him. (Might have been a habit kept from war - where he would sleep with a shield on top of him.) So he finds comfort in having a weighted blanket (or Dream) on top while he sleeps. Phil resting his wings on his shoulders to calm him is an elaboration on this idea.

Oh speaking of sleeping - I've seen a lot of takes on why Dream doesn't sleep or that he's a loner because "mysterious figure" and all that (and my angst brain couldn't resist). My headcanon is that he's the complete opposite. Dream's the dude who loves having roommates (Even if he tells Techno otherwise). Like he loves having people around (it's why he's fighting so hard for server unity) and that the reason he doesn't sleep is more so the fact he can't, at least not good sleep. He's used to sleeping in a place with lots of people - his friends mostly - and the silence gets to him. The community house is proof enough of that. So instead of sitting in a dark room doing nothing waiting for the sun to rise - he does... other stuff. Prison makes this even worse - because he's completely isolated, where as before he could ask Punz, or Bad to keep him company.

So not a new take- but elaborating on an already established headcanon, Philza being the Angel of Death having sway on Death. And I mean more so - he's able to lightly tweak the strings of fate. Untangle little things in a person's future. He's unable to stop their fate, but depending on how much he favors/likes/loves the person he can kind of... tug it in a new direction if the person is willing. He's not allowed to completely change things - that's ultimately a consequence of a person's series of choices, but in a game of 50/50 he can slightly tip the odds in their favor.

That's all that I could think of so far - but if anyone wants to add to here with their own heacanons feel free! I love reading people interpretations of stuff - and other world building things in general.

[nonovyabuisness]

Seeing how well my tarot life smp post did, I figured that I should do some more.

So here we have all the other life smper with their major arcana (in alphabetical order and Gem is included despite only being there for 1 session).

Enjoy !

Bdubs: The Lovers (VI)

This card generally means harmony, unity, and destiny.

When uprights the card of The Lovers represents predestined, links, love and harmonious unions. This card can mean a powerful link in perfect harmony, but it can also mean an important decisions or a crossroad. Think of your choices and you’ll find happiness forever.

When reversed this card, suggest that one of your relationships or important friendships isn’t going very well. An honest communication is crucial in order to go forward. The Lovers prove that sincerity is key.

BigB: Strength (VIII)

This card generally means true power that is not obtained through physical means, but more through courage, tenacity, and compassion.

When upright Strength is a positive sign that shows determination, common sense and savvy necessary in order to meet and overcome challenges. In order to have better results this card suggest to use bravery, kindness, and perseverance. It is a sign that invites you to guide others with gentleness as well as a warning to not use brute force and ultimatums in order to achieve your end.

When reversed Strength, represent a bad relationship with authority. If you feel powerless or discouraged this card reminds you that you’re more powerful than you think. Pull yourself together and be brave. 

Cleo: The High Priestess (II)

The High Priestess is a card that represents a mysterious and intuitive character, whose power comes from the depth of her subconscious. she is sophisticated, calculating, and powerful.

When upright, this card is a call for observation and reflection, you may not see your situation of friendship or relationship for what it is. So take advantage of the solitude to think over this difficult situation because looks can be deceiving.

When reversed, this card represents a lack of clarity, causing confusion and insecurity. In order to find confidence in you again, you must bring forth determination and assurance. Know that you have the necessary strength to pull through the chaos and emerge victorious.

Etho: The Hermit (IX)

This card generally means retreat, solitude, and the act of spending time alone in order to think on yourself.

When upright, this card calls for solitude, if you’ve been swept up by life The Hermit is a clear sign that you need to slow down a little. Take time to think of your actual situation and what you wanna do with it. You’ll get out of the small break fully replenished and ready to take on the world.

When reversed, The Hermit warns you of the consequences of staying isolated for too long. Allow yourself a bit of time to understand your mistakes and to swallow a big events in your life, but first and foremost look towards the future.

Gem: The Hangman (XII)

The card of The Hangman shows the possibility of seeing things from another angle, accept unexpected delays and to give into a situation.

When upright, this card shows that you are confronted by an unexpected obstacle that stops your projects. The Hangman advices you to relax and follow the current. It’s time to take a break and think. This could end up being exactly what you need in order to achieve a useful, new point of view.

When reversed, this card indicates hesitation, servitude and tactics to gain time. If you have a decision to make, do not waste time procrastinating.  Stay focused and act fast before you lose an opportunity.

Impulse: The Hierophant (V)

This card represents hierarchy, law, order and cooperation.

When upright, The Hierophant warns you that this is not the moment to have radical ideas or to rebel. Trust the approved methods of all traditions, there is a time and a place for individualism, nonconformity and rebellion. This card shows that the respective conventions will lead you farther than following your own path.

When reversed, the card encourage you to adopt a revolutionary spirit and put into question the status quo. It’s time to think for yourself, to follow your heart and to make your own path.

Joel: The Magician (I)

The Magician represents pure talent and unlimited creativity.

When upright, this card explains that inspiration is everywhere. You feel creative, unstoppable, and ready to realize your craziest dreams. Accept the creative pulsions  that are in you because it’s time to shine ! Take this chance ! This card indicates that it’s time to explore your potential and put to use your hidden powers.

When reversed, The Magician wants you to resist the villainous shortcuts, as well as the suspicions double edged deals that will go against you. Work hard, stay focused in order to achieve your goals and leave your friends out of this.

Lizzie: The Tower (XVI)

The Tower represents the sudden and dramatic destruction of illusion and façades.

When upright, prepare yourself for a upheaval because this card announces destruction. Even of what you think might be true and threatens to submerge you. But rest assured because it’s for the best,this event will free you from your tower. Embrace the chaos and you’ll get out unscathed.

When reversed, this card indicates that you are resisting a necessary change. You’re facing an important truth that may change the course of your life, but you refuse to recognize it. It’s time to abandon the comfortable and familiar points of your life because new information will be presented and change everything. Even if this type of change can be intimidating, rest assured and go forward. You’ll be happier and in better shape.

Mumbo: Temperance (XIV)

Temperance signifies fluidity, harmony and balance.

When upright, Temperance advises you to stay flexible, calm and adaptable. Following the current will help you sail comfortably. Take on every challenge that presents itself with calm and serenity. Temperance reminds you how important it is to preserve your inner peace, do not let outside influence rock your boat.

When reversed, Temperance indicates imbalance in your life that affects you greatly. The card warns you to not let yourself be carried away and to not act impulsively. Stay calm, think carefully, and communicate openly to bring back harmony and fluidity in your life.

Rendog: The Emperor (IV)

The Emperor is a calm and powerful ruler that impose respect and authority.

When upright, The Emperor reminds you, to make decisions with everyone’s interest in mind. You can set an example by being respectful and taking your duties seriously.

When reversed, this card warns against too much rigidity in your opinions, and incite you to keep an open mind. The reversed Emperor shows that thinking in black-and-white works against you. Stay flexible and remind yourself that there’s an exception to every rule. 

Scar: The Chariot (VII)

The Chariot represents determination , unwavering focus and will.

When uprights, you no longer fear obstacles, you’ll follow your objectives, and nothing will stop you. Do not let yourself be distracted ! What you wish for may seem out of your reach for the moment, but by pressing on you’ll find the strength necessary to succeed.

When reversed, this card tells you to not falter as victory can still be reached as long as you’re ready to adapt. The reversed Chariot, advises you to tackle challenges with more finesse and flexibility. Letting go will not hurt you. 

Skizz: The Wheel of Fortune (X)

The Wheel of Fortune represents decisive moments, sudden reversals and twists of fate.

When uprights The Wheel of Fortune, reminds you that life is unpredictable and that luck keeps turning. It’s a clear sign, that you need to expect the unexpected. Embrace your life as it is now because big changes are coming. The Wheel of Fortune remind you that life can change at any second. Live in the moment.

When reversed, The Wheel of Fortune indicates that your streak of bad luck is not your fault, greater forces are at play. You may feel as if you don’t control anything but this card has a positive side. Nothing is eternal not even misfortune. Curses can be broken, birthrights restored and kingdoms can prosper again. Be patient, and wait for the wheel of fortune to turn again in your favor.

Tango: Justice (XI)

Justice represents repercussions, consequences ethics, and equity.

When upright, Justice advices you to follow your moral compass, while brushing aside your personal feelings on the matter. It’s a clear sign that the time must come to defend truth and integrity. The choice may be difficult, but it will lead to long-term peace and stability.

When reversed, Justice suggest that your actual perspective may be false. Justice suggest that you may not be seeing situations for what they really are. Try to keep an open mind and ask your loved ones to help you see the truth.

I hope you guys enjoyed this draft, this took so long. I’m not a 100% sure for some of the life smpers but I think it should be fine.

Hope you enjoyed this post, I know I’m gonna enjoy my Friday afternoon.

See you all !

[growwithmeastrology]

The most pivotal astrological transit is happening this week! Ready or not, it’s coming. Be sure to check out parts 1 and 2 of this series before continuing so you’re not missing key dates. So what can we expect once Pluto enters Aquarius? Since it will be toggling between Capricorn and Aquarius between now and November 2024, we can expect a review or repeat of the things in our society that need restructure. Pluto forces transformation. It is the Phoenix rising from the ashes. It will not be controlled and old systems will crumble. Since Aquarius is a collective sign, we should see more cohesiveness and integration as a community. Communities will begin to band together to fight injustices. Aquarius does have a shadow side and that could bring about more isolation, much like the recent pandemic where Saturn was in Aquarius. When we put all these things together and review what happened in history, it looks a whole lot like revolution. Aquarius is also forcing out more advancement of the technological age. The perfect example of what’s to come that’s already taking shape of that theme is the TikTok ban. Don’t be fooled into believing what you hear about this. Do the research, it’s not what it seems. And that’s the point. Pluto will have us digging deep to bring things to the surface. What needs to be exposed, will be. Here’s the thing though, try not to let things get to your head. The shadow side of Pluto will have many in their ego fighting for selfish power and control. Working as a community is the lesson here. Both Saturn in Pisces and Pluto in Aquarius are about unity. Not to mention highly spiritual having us looking more within for our salvation than without. It’s a 20 year transit this time. The frequency of the planet is changing. Will you rise with it? Let’s embrace the change, allow the cards to fall and let’s rebuild a better new world! ☮️💚✨ #plutoinaquarius #plutoretrograde #ageofaquarius #astrology #ridethewave #communityfirst https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp-XSwwrT5J/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[bliztank-blog]

Blog #1- The good and harm that online communities can do.

The increasing influence that online interactions have had on our lives has drastically increased in recent times, especially during covid. Every single community allows for so many individuals that would never interact; to meet, grow together, and collaborate on common ideals and goals. The positive impact that these communities can have on a person can not be overstated; especially for younger and more influencable persons. Despite all of the good a community can do, it is natural that it will begin to fade and struggle with time. Members and leaders will burn out and move on; and human beings inevitably end up looking for differences to wield against eachother. Regardless of the state of individual communities, it is logical to conclude that the online world is only going to grow with time.

It is a tragedy then, that often these communities and the online world as a whole are treated without the respect they deserve, being left to wither away as social divisions grow. It is not inherently unfair to treat such communities as a side venture to simply allocate spare attention to. Yet if a community as a whole is treated this way, there is little unity left to preserve the health of the community.

I strongly prefer to not delve into specifics out of respect; however to capture the significance of these issues, I will bring up one. Paedophelia I think, is something that no good natured person will be inclined to defend nor try to normalize. As an example from the TF2 community, Nursey; a top level player and mentor to many was banned from community leagues due to being a paedophile. Despite the measures taken to drive them out of the community, they still have many friends that will continue to rationalize their actions and defend them. "They're not a paedophile, they would never do something like that, they never meant to hurt anyone"; are common examples of emotional responses on the matter.

The issue to be found here, is that one of the most morally reprehensible behaviors possible, is easily defended in individual communities. Nobody wants to be the person to turn their back on their friends, and few people would want to make themselves a target by deviating from what the group consensus is. This becomes an issue when the very people that are supposed to be role models, that define the values of a community; are not held accountable for these behaviors.

If an issue as objectively clear as this is unable to be resolved, then I would ask what hope a community has of resolving any situations that involves the slightest bit of nuance or moral flexibility. It's important to ask yourself then, what other situations happen that just completely get defended because it's easier to be a part of a collective; than to stand as an individual and risk isolation from a community. If the very people in a community are unable to hold other parts of that community accountable, then eventually you will let others get hurt.

This same exact issue happens time and time again, and yet the issue is only one issue of many that a community may end up facing; and this is not an isolated incident. None of this is anything you'd want to have yourself or a friend go through or be the victim of, I'd imagine. Yet what can the individual do, when the perpetrators of a crime are the very ones defining what is and isn't normal and right? If you begin to understand this notion, you may see why it's important to never let issues get to this point in a community, to never let these behaviors get remotely to the point of normality; for everyone is the victim when action against these behaviors is purely reactionary and disciplinarian in nature. When a group attempts to punish another group, it devolves into a tribalistic affair where people just stick to existing biases. Thus, the only answer, is to step outside of social groups, to be a person, and to confront what you see.

With the emotional stakes conveyed, I refocusing to what I am trying to convey.

The next logical step, is to define the abstraction of unity and the impact it has. In my eyes, a community's unity is defined by the willingness of individuals to collaborate on goals, at it's simplest form working together to resolve issues. If a community lacks unity, then levels of interaction naturally drop off, and members begin to drift apart. Unity is the best defense a community can have against a never-ending list of potential issues.

Past this point, I'm going to shift the tone a bit and focus on gaming communities. These communities tend to have their own subsection of issues, and predisposition to hostilities that come from a lack of more intricate and personal connections. The TF2 community is what I am most familiar with, so I will be using it for reference.

The less dedicated any parts of the community are to attempting to solve issues together, the weaker a community is. The natural conclusion of this is that more issues will begin to seep through; and cracks begin to widen, which eventually sink the ship so to speak.

An example of this would be the harassment of others being written off as competitive banter, or matters regarding slurs and other wider cultural issues that seep into our view of what's acceptable.

A large majority of the time, these issues will only build up as time goes on, and eventually will require a solution lest they dominate a community's identity.

The only way a community can continue to preserve itself in spite of such issues, is to reunite all of the scattered fragments of it's members by ignoring social divisions, and to come together to find a solution that accommodates everyone in the community; that still tries to care for the community.

If these conditions are not met, and problems are not resolved through cooperation; the community becomes a shell of it's former self. In this shell, something that used to have a positive impact on other people either fades into obscurity; or becomes a method in which they are hurt by anyone who would seek to abuse existing fragmentation. When you drive others to become outcasts, there will be people who use that fact to their own advantage.

If groups of individuals that seek to do good do not group together and stand for something, eventually groups of people that seek to do harm will be the predominant voices that determine how a community is seen, and what a community does. This is an unfortunate truth, but the patterns do not lie. Eventually, the best and only thing you can do is to stand for something as a person, and to inspire others to stand with you.

There comes a point, where if you stand for something alone or stand for nothing; that you become very susceptible to being driven out of a community. This can be seen throughout many communities in the form of past administrators and community leaders. Even if you are just a normal member, there will be people that will seek to discredit you due to your identity if they disagree with it. Eventually, a social issue is going to have to be confronted, and you need to make sure that the values you uphold aren't going to get shoved away with you.

Looping back to online communities as a whole:

If your communities do not have to deal with these issues, be thankful for what you have, while you have it. I'd suspect that more often than not, your community is going to be struggling with some form of larger issue; be it directly based around conflict or not. Peace of mind is a nice thing to have, but all too often the core of these issues are entrenched in unawareness. Everything seems all peachy and acceptable, until you or your friends have to deal with the impact of an issue.

For this reason, it is always imperative to remain cautious, and to keep protecting others where you can. On a foundational level, a community is based off of the people that reside in it, and the interactions between said people. The less care you put into those interactions, the less of a community you have. The threats posed to any community are perpetual; yet so is the positive impact a community has on others as long as there are people left to hold that banner high.

In the words of Captain Kirk from Star Trek, "If change is inevitable, predictable, beneficial, doesn't logic demand that you be a part of it?" By the same logic, if risk is inevitable, which it is; then why not find things which matter to you, worth risking for?

So then, take a stand for what you care about, and don't let it drift away to the sands of time. Communities inevitably have expiration dates, yet you as a person have the power to create a legacy that others can remember and look to. In doing this, you are able to effect others that you would potentially never be able to connect with otherwise. A community thrives together, and a community withers together all the same. Every single member of a community plays a part in the fate of a community; yet you may be the only person that understands or sees a key factor that others don't yet. By understanding this, you can understand the importance of yourself.

And always remember, that an unspoken status quo regardless of topic or severity results in much stagnation and decline; and will continue to do so until confronted. Only afterwards, can social wounds begin to heal; otherwise they continue to fester and constrict.

If you are not convinced of the inevitability of change currently, I will be diving into the impact people individually have in future posts.

[01worldwideblogs]

Exploring Parivrai: Everything You Need to Know About This Unique Concept

In today’s fast-paced digital world, unique and intriguing ideas continuously emerge, grabbing our attention and reshaping how we interact with technology, culture, and society. One such concept gaining momentum and curiosity is “Parivrai.” But what exactly is Parivrai, and why is it sparking interest across various fields? In this article, we’ll dive into what makes Parivrai unique, its potential applications, and why it’s worth understanding.

What is Parivrai?

Parivrai is a concept rooted in the idea of interconnectedness and growth, bridging traditional practices with innovative perspectives. Although still somewhat abstract, Parivrai can be described as a framework that emphasizes dynamic interconnectivity, promoting harmonious relationships between various elements—be it within a system, an organization, or even on a global scale.

While “Parivrai” may appear to be a buzzword at first glance, it has deeper connotations. At its core, Parivrai represents the fusion of diverse principles, where ancient wisdom meets modern-day adaptability. It reflects an adaptive, flexible approach to tackling modern challenges and transforming opportunities into sustainable solutions. The key principle of Parivrai is to ensure balance and synergy between interconnected parts, ensuring a more resilient and holistic approach to problem-solving.

Origins and Background of Parivrai

The origins of Parivrai are somewhat elusive, though it draws from several ancient philosophies that emphasize unity, mindfulness, and balance. Parivrai’s foundations can be traced back to practices that promote collective well-being over individual gain, highlighting the idea that true progress is achieved when all parts of a system work harmoniously together.

As the concept gained traction, it evolved to incorporate modern practices from technology, management, and environmental sciences. Now, Parivrai embodies a hybrid approach that combines the best of both traditional wisdom and innovative solutions. This blend allows it to remain relevant across multiple sectors, including technology, business, health, and environmental sciences.

Core Principles of Parivrai

To understand Parivrai, it’s essential to look at its core principles, which guide its applications and offer insight into how it can transform practices:

Interconnectivity: Parivrai places a high emphasis on understanding the interconnectedness of various elements within a system. It recognizes that isolated actions can have far-reaching impacts and that sustainable progress is only achievable when all parts work together seamlessly.

Adaptability and Flexibility: A significant aspect of Parivrai is its adaptable nature. This principle allows the concept to evolve with changing circumstances, making it suitable for tackling contemporary challenges that require creative and flexible approaches.

Sustainability and Balance: Unlike short-term approaches that prioritize quick fixes, Parivrai focuses on long-term sustainability. The concept encourages solutions that not only address immediate needs but also contribute to a balanced and resilient system over time.

Collaboration and Inclusivity: Parivrai promotes a collaborative mindset, fostering inclusivity and cooperation among diverse stakeholders. This principle is especially relevant in today’s interconnected world, where diverse perspectives lead to more innovative and holistic solutions.

Mindfulness and Awareness: At its core, Parivrai values a mindful approach, where actions are taken with awareness and consideration for their impacts on the broader environment.

Applications of Parivrai

Given its flexible and dynamic nature, Parivrai can be applied across a variety of fields. Here are some notable areas where Parivrai is making a difference:

Business and Management: In the business world, Parivrai is reshaping management strategies by encouraging companies to adopt sustainable and balanced approaches. By focusing on collaborative growth, companies that adopt Parivrai principles are better equipped to foster an inclusive workplace culture and develop resilient, long-term strategies.

Technology and Innovation: Parivrai encourages tech developers to consider the social and environmental impacts of their innovations. By integrating Parivrai principles, technology can be designed to support societal goals, minimize environmental harm, and promote inclusivity.

Environmental Conservation: Parivrai's emphasis on sustainability makes it especially relevant in environmental fields. Its principles encourage balanced resource use and support conservation efforts by promoting mindful, interconnected approaches to ecosystem management.

Healthcare and Wellness: In healthcare, Parivrai principles advocate for a holistic approach that integrates physical, mental, and social well-being. This approach not only focuses on curing diseases but also on enhancing overall health by considering the complex interconnections within the human body and between individuals and their environments.

Education and Personal Development: Parivrai is increasingly being integrated into educational settings, where its principles are used to foster collaborative and critical thinking skills. By encouraging students to appreciate interconnectivity and adaptability, Parivrai is helping to shape a generation that values holistic problem-solving.

Why Parivrai Matters Today

In a world that is becoming increasingly complex and interconnected, the need for frameworks like Parivrai has never been more crucial. Many of today’s challenges, from climate change to social inequality, require solutions that are both adaptable and sustainable. Parivrai provides a roadmap for addressing these issues by promoting mindful and collaborative approaches.

Additionally, as technology continues to evolve, the principles of Parivrai remind us to prioritize ethical considerations and long-term impacts. The concept encourages us to remain grounded and connected to the world around us, fostering a culture of balance and responsibility.

Embracing Parivrai: How to Get Started

For those interested in adopting Parivrai principles, here are some practical steps to begin integrating them into your personal or professional life:

Cultivate Awareness: Take time to consider the broader impact of your actions, whether in the workplace or your personal life.

Foster Collaboration: Seek opportunities to work with others, especially those with diverse perspectives. Collaboration often leads to innovative solutions.

Prioritize Sustainability: Strive to make choices that contribute to long-term benefits rather than short-term gains.

Stay Adaptable: Embrace change and remain open to new approaches, as flexibility is key to the Parivrai mindset.

Conclusion

Parivrai is more than just a concept; it’s a mindset and a philosophy that encourages a balanced, mindful approach to life’s challenges. By embracing interconnectedness, adaptability, and sustainability, Parivrai offers a framework for creating positive, lasting impacts in a rapidly changing world. Whether in business, technology, or personal growth, Parivrai’s principles provide a path toward a more harmonious and resilient future.

[enchantedquill-40]

Part two

Despite Sawyer's hesitant participation in group activities and his occasional assistance when needed, trust remained an elusive concept for him. His actions were a blend of self-preservation and a guarded acknowledgment of the group's shared struggle for survival.

Jack and Charlie, sensing Sawyer's ongoing struggle with trust, made concerted efforts to bridge the gap. Jack would occasionally sit beside Sawyer by the campfire, engaging in small talk about the challenges they faced on the island. Charlie, persistently determined to break through Sawyer's walls, would share anecdotes and attempt to include him in the camaraderie that was slowly rebuilding within the group.

Yet, Sawyer remained a solitary figure, his guard unwavering. The scars, both physical and emotional, were not easily forgotten. Every attempt at connection felt like a precarious dance around the edges of his well-guarded world.

One day, as the group worked together to fortify their shelter, Sawyer found himself silently assisting in the background. The physical labor seemed to serve as a common ground, a language that transcended words. However, when the work was done, Sawyer retreated to the outskirts, avoiding the communal celebration that followed.

Jack, observing Sawyer's persistent isolation, decided to have a more direct conversation. "Sawyer, we're all in this together. Your past doesn't have to define your present. We need you, not just for the work but as part of the group."

Sawyer, his eyes reflecting a complex mix of defiance and vulnerability, sighed. "Doc, I'm just looking out for myself. Trusting folks has a way of biting you in the back."

Jack, undeterred by Sawyer's resistance, continued to extend the olive branch. "Survival is about more than just enduring the elements. It's about finding strength in each other. You don't have to carry the burden alone."

Charlie, equally determined, approached Sawyer with a genuine smile. "We've all got our demons, Sawyer. But we're trying to build something here. You can be a part of it if you let us in."

Sawyer, torn between the allure of connection and the safety of solitude, nodded in reluctant acknowledgment. The conversation planted seeds of change, but the roots of trust were slow to grow.

Days turned into weeks, and Sawyer's gradual integration into the group remained a delicate dance. The others respected his need for space, but their persistent efforts to include him spoke volumes about their genuine desire for unity.

One evening, as the campfire flickered and laughter echoed through the camp, Sawyer found himself drawn to the warmth of shared stories. He hesitated at the periphery, a silent observer of the bonds forming among the survivors. Jack and Charlie, noticing his presence, welcomed him with a nod.

Sawyer, though still cautious, took a tentative step forward. The night unfolded with shared tales of life before the crash, dreams of home, and the complexities of relationships. Sawyer's guarded demeanor softened, if only for a moment, as he allowed himself to be a part of the shared narrative.

The island, once a battleground of judgment and isolation, now bore witness to a fragile unity. Sawyer's journey towards trust was far from complete, but the small steps he took hinted at the resilience of the human spirit. In the midst of the unpredictable wilderness, bonds forged through patience and understanding began to redefine the dynamics of the group.

[network0]

Building Stronger Bonds: Exploring the Power of Social and Community Participation

Welcome to our blog! Today, we're diving into the power of social and community participation; finding ways to build stronger bonds with others has never been more critical in a disconnected world. Whether through joining local organizations, volunteering your time, or engaging in meaningful conversations with neighbors and friends, participating in your community can profoundly impact you and those around you. So, let's explore the many benefits of social and community participation and discover how to get involved in your neighborhood. Get ready to make some connections that will last a lifetime!

The Importance of Social and Community Participation

Social and community participation is vital in creating a strong and vibrant society. By actively engaging with others in our communities, we foster a sense of belonging and connection essential for personal well-being.

One fundamental importance of social participation is its opportunity for meaningful interactions. When we engage with others, whether through volunteering or participating in community events, we create opportunities to connect on a deeper level. These connections can lead to new friendships, support networks, and professional collaborations.

Another benefit of social participation is its positive impact on mental health. Engaging in social activities helps combat feelings of loneliness and isolation by providing outlets for social interaction. It boosts self-esteem, reduces stress levels, and enhances overall happiness.

Furthermore, participating in one's community allows us to contribute to the greater good. By getting involved locally through volunteer work or community initiatives, we have the power to make a tangible difference in the lives of those around us.

In addition to personal benefits, social engagement also strengthens societal bonds. When individuals come together towards common community goals - environmental conservation or neighborhood safety - they create more robust networks that promote unity and cooperation.

Embracing social and community participation enriches our lives and enhances the fabric of our society as a whole. So why wait? Start exploring ways you can get involved today!

How to Get Involved in Your Community

Are you looking to make a difference in your community? Getting involved is easier than you might think! Here are some practical ways to start making a positive impact:

1. Volunteer: Find local organizations or charities that align with your interests and skills. Whether helping at a homeless shelter, tutoring students, or cleaning up parks, there are countless opportunities to lend a hand.

2. Attend Community Events: Stay informed about events in your area, such as festivals, fundraisers, and town hall meetings. These gatherings provide an opportunity to meet like-minded individuals and learn more about the needs of your community.

3. Join Clubs or Groups: Seek out clubs or groups that share your hobbies or passions. This could be anything from book clubs and sports teams to environmental initiatives or neighborhood watch programs. Participating in these activities not only helps strengthen bonds within the community but also allows you to pursue personal interests.

4. Support Local Businesses: Choose locally-owned businesses whenever possible instead of big chains or franchises. By doing so, you're supporting the local economy and contributing directly to the success of small business owners.

Remember, getting involved can be manageable! Start with small steps and gradually increase your level of participation over time. Together, we can build stronger communities for everyone!

The Benefits of Community Participation

The benefits of social and community participation are vast and impactful. By actively engaging in our communities, we strengthen the bonds between individuals and contribute to society's overall well-being.

Participating in social and community activities gives us a sense of belonging, connection, and purpose. It allows us to build meaningful relationships, expand our networks, and foster a supportive environment where everyone can thrive. Through volunteering or joining community organizations, we can make a difference, whether by helping those in need or advocating for positive change.

Moreover, community participation offers numerous personal growth opportunities. It enables us to develop new skills and knowledge through various workshops or events organized within our communities. We can gain valuable experiences that enhance our resumes while boosting self-confidence and self-esteem.

Additionally, being an active participant in our communities positively impacts mental health. Engaging with others reduces feelings of loneliness and isolation while promoting emotional well-being. By sharing common interests or goals with like-minded individuals through clubs or interest groups, we create a support system that contributes to improved mental resilience.

Furthermore, participating in communal activities cultivates empathy and understanding towards diverse perspectives. Interacting with people from different backgrounds fosters tolerance and compassion while breaking down barriers between individuals or groups who may otherwise remain segregated. This promotes inclusivity within society as a whole.

Last but certainly not least, social engagement has physical health benefits, too! Participating in group exercises such as sports teams or fitness classes encourages regular physical activity, which is crucial for maintaining good health. And let's not forget that laughter shared during social interactions releases endorphins, which boost mood!

Social and Community Participation brings people together, strengthening bonds among individuals, contributing positively towards society & having numerous personal advantages! So why wait? Get involved today & experience the power of building stronger connections within your community!

[aiukrainesummaries]

Overview of Z Generation: Into the Heart of Russia's Fascist Youth by Ian Garner (2023)

• The book provides an in-depth look at Russia's fascist and neo-Nazi youth movements, known collectively as the Z Generation.

• Garner investigates the rise of groups like Russian March, White Rex and the neo-Nazi Russian National Unity organization. He estimates there are as many as 100,000 Z Generation members.

• The book explores the ideologies of the Z Generation, which promotes ethnic Russian nationalism, xenophobia, violent opposition to immigration and often openly embraces Nazism. Many members glorify fascist symbols and Nazis.

• Garner examines the backgrounds and motivations of individual Z Generation members through interviews and firsthand reporting. He finds many come from broken homes, suffer from social isolation and feel marginalized in post-Soviet Russia.

• The book argues that the Z Generation has been enabled by a lack of opposition from Russian authorities. In fact, some fascist groups receive indirect support from government-linked sponsors.

• Garner looks at how social media and online platforms have helped the Z Generation organize, spread propaganda and recruit new members. The movement has proved savvy at using modern technologies.

• In conclusion, the book warns that Russia's fascist youth pose a serious threat given their growing numbers, violent tendencies and potential links to security forces. Garner calls for more effective policies to challenge the Z Generation's dangerous ideologies.

• The book's title refers to the Z Generation members' fascination with the swastika symbol, which resembles the Latin letter Z. The swastika has become an emblem of their ideology.

Hope this summary provides a useful overview of key arguments and themes from Z Generation: Into the Heart of Russia's Fascist Youth! Let me know if you have any other questions.

Tell me more.

Here are some additional details from Z Generation: Into the Heart of Russia's Fascist Youth by Ian Garner:

• The book details specific acts of violence and hate crimes carried out by Z Generation members, including racist attacks, beatings, stabbings and even murders. However, Garner argues the movement poses a wider threat through its extremist ideology.

• Interviews with Z Generation members reveal that in addition to xenophobia and ethnic nationalism, many also embrace conservative social values and oppose LGBTQ rights, feminism and liberalism more broadly. They idealize a traditionalist Russian society.

• Garner examines links between some Z Generation groups and Russian security forces, arguing indirect support from official figures has allowed the movement to flourish. However, the relationship is a complex mix of cooperation, tolerance and opportunism on both sides.

• The book exposes propaganda and disinformation spread by the Z Generation online, including myths about ethnic Russians facing existential threats from immigration, foreign influence and marginalization in their own country.

• In summary, Garner aims to shed light on Russia's long-neglected fascist youth movement while also advocating for policies to confront and counter the extremism it represents. The book argues Russian authorities and society as a whole must do more to marginalize and delegitimize the Z Generation's racist ideologies.

• However, some critics argue the book overstates the threat posed by the Z Generation and fails to acknowledge efforts already being taken to combat extremism in Russia. Nonetheless, most reviews still praise Garner for bringing important awareness to the disturbing rise of far-right ideology among Russian youth.

Additional details:

• The book details the Z Generation's glorification of the Soviet and Russian imperial eras, which members portray as ethnically pure periods in Russian history unsullied by foreign influence. However, Garner argues this narrative is distorted.

• Garner examines how the spread of global far-right ideologies online has energized and amplified Russia's fascist youth movement. The Z Generation frequently shares content and networks with international extremist groups.

• The Z Generation's influence extends beyond street activism and violence, according to the book. Some members have formed political parties that compete in elections, aiming to radicalize Russian mainstream conservatism from within the system.

• Interviews with parents of Z Generation members reveal stories of teenage kids being gradually radicalized online through exposure to Fascist propaganda. However, Garner notes that not all parents disagree with their children's extremist views.

• In addition to traditional Nazi symbolism, the Z Generation has created new symbols and imagery that merges Russian nationalism with fascism. This unique aesthetics aims to market extremism to younger audiences.

• Despite extensive documentation of the threat, Garner acknowledges there are also signs of weakness within the Z Generation. The movement suffers from infighting, short-lived grassroots initiatives and a lack of coherent long-term strategy.

• In summary, Garner's book aims to serve as a wake-up call for Russian society to confront the far-right radicalization of the country's youth head on, by marginalizing extremist ideologies and providing alternative visions of Russian identity that are inclusive rather open xenophobic.

Criticism:

• Some critics argue the book overstates the strength and cohesion of Russia's far-right youth movement. They claim the Z Generation is actually fragmented and lacks influence rather than posing a serious threat as the book suggests.

• There are claims the book exaggerates the numbers of Z Generation members for dramatic effect. Some reviewers believe fascist youth are a tiny, marginal group in Russian society, not the 100,000 estimated by Garner.

• The book has been criticized for drawing overly broad conclusions about the Z Generation based on a limited number of interviews. Critics argue Garner's portrayal of the movement's ideology and motivations may not be representative.

• Critics argue Garner fails to acknowledge efforts already being undertaken in Russia to confront extremism, such as government programs to promote tolerance and combat radicalization. They say the book overstates official inaction.

• However, other reviewers counter that even a relatively small fascist movement can pose problems if allowed to operate with impunity. They praise Garner for drawing attention to a disturbing but underreported phenomenon in Russian society.

• In summary, while some critics accuse Garner of exaggerating the threat from Russia's far-right youth, others value his reporting for shedding light on a worrying trend and advocating for stronger responses. There are reasonable disagreements about how influential and cohesive the Z Generation really is based on the evidence Garner presents.

[bluesunsdusk]

A small chuckle escaped Najma.

"Hard-working? You would be the first here to say so. Being built to work makes people less inclined to allow one to do anything else." Even while saying this, their tone remained light and kind, almost as though they didn't even register how serious it could sound. A break simply wasn't something a 24/7 care unit could be afforded. They'd tried when their growing sapience became noticeable enough, but they were still always available. That was something that hadn't changed, it just looked different this time around.

Still, they appreciated the sentiment.

"Thank you, habibi," they said with a small bow of the head.

"Now before you actually die waiting for an explanation... The Shambali are a religious sect of Omnics living within the Himalayans. They believe in something called the Iris and that our sapience derived from an omnic called Aurora. They believe omnics have souls and preach unity among all people in earth."

Taking a step back, Najma let some of the plating on their chest shift to reveal something akin to a holographic projector. The semi-transparent image of a building popped up in the air.

"They live together in a monastery, largely isolated. Although, they do reach out to mend relations between humans and omnics. Their former leader, Mondatta, was very beloved until he was assassinated."

The image they projected switches to an image of the statue built in honor of the omnic within King's Row.

"Not all omnics agree with their methods, deeming them too passive, giving rise to factions such as Null Sector. It is hard to know what the best route is for all to recover from the omnic crisis. Many omnics feel responsible, even if none of them had control over those events; They were mindless units controlled by a central program until a widespread change occurred within their processes."

The projection of Mondatta faded and Najma's chassis closed shut.

"I am used to working with scientists, not spiritualists. Everything scientists do has or seeks to achieve an explanation, even if they may not be rooted in sound logic at all times..." They folded their arms over their chest and looked at the ground. "Horizon's reasoning for their specific method of animal testing still eludes me. It seemed quite peculiar to combine a lunar colony with a mammal enhancement program before knowing what effect either separate from one another would have prior."

A small shrug followed that tiny bit of pondering. "I was merely a personal medical assistant unit, I wasn't supposed to know the how and why of anything. There was probably more to it that they never informed me nor my owner of. I might never-"

Najma's crest twitches and they lift their head back up.

"I am rambling..."

They stopped speaking after saying a soft, "Apologies." and turned their attention back to the diagnostics information that steadily popped up as a final result was being developed through different cycles of testing.

"Regarding your concerns... You are in your early sixties and are a human. No amount of augmentation will avoid the eventual effects of ageing forever."

Though, their own diagnostics became more essential the more they were made to exert themselves too.

Of course, by machine standards, they were also of a notably advanced age. They usually elected not to think about that too hard. The last thing they needed was to find out how an omnic in a midlife crisis acted. Were they even an omnic? They didn't come from an omnium. By literal definitions, they weren't an omnic at all, and yet they were always referred to as such. They weren't even susceptible to the same manipulations as their fellow units, as evidenced by their anomalous response in the crisis...

Najma quickly shook their head to break out of their line of thought.

"Have you perhaps, by your own estimation, overexerted your gravitic influence over time?" They asked. "The equipment Talon has utilized is quite...delicate in certain aspects. Any faults would steadily built up and cause increased frequency of errors."

                   Despite an apprehension around Omnics, SIGMA is outstandingly trusting in regards to Najma, both in part to their anti-inflammatory demeanor and otherwise pacifying presence; then again, without biological signals to interpret, there is rarely anything for SIGMA to mirror, between their speech and behavior– and while that did often lead to a unique form of discomfort, he finds that he does not need to detect anything to feel secure around them. Perhaps it was the way they speak to him; gently, always so gently– they rarely, if ever, express open disapproval for his antics, oftentimes going out of their way to cover for him when he risks getting himself into trouble with his superiors, such as when he’d opened one of the windows in the visitation area just for a chance to play with the snow in his first year within the organization. Therefore, it’s difficult not to enjoy Najma’s company. 

He only wished that he had more in common with them– sometimes he wonders if they only entertain him because they are expected to. 

                    “It feels as though they are becoming… more necessary than they used to be.” SIGMA murmurs, absentmindedly pulling a small length of one of the thick, hanging cables  across his lap so that he can fidget with it, winding it through his fingers and looping it around his hands idly as the capacitors connected to him begin to charge off of the gravitic and electromagnetic currents his ANOMALY are steadily channeled into it. His body feels heavy, once more weighed down by the Earth’s gravity as the effects of his ANOMALY are temporarily dispelled in their entirety while the diagnostic screen begins running measurements of the current magnitude. “... Difficult to say whether it is only getting stronger, or if this awful body is just becoming that much weaker…” Of course, the latter would seem more likely– if not for the fact that his body is twice as resilient as any other due to the near-perfect merging of his atoms with SIEBREN’S. “It truly is too bad that you are beyond my own fields of study! I would have greatly enjoyed making your diagnostics as simple and streamlined as you do for me!”

Initially, he anticipates the original question to go ignored or unnoticed– while it was very genuine, he’s well accustomed to being openly ignored and going unanswered. Therefore, the fact that Najma even humors the question whatsoever is… Sweet of them! He enjoys the sensation of having others respond. “... Oh! You– but more good than bad, right?” SIGMA chimes back just as sweetly, offering Najma an apologetic, hopeful smile. Maybe not, but he could hope. “You are so hardworking! If anyone deserves a break, it would be you!”

When Najma continues on, however, to mention the Shambali, his interest is once more piqued as he stares up at them with wide, curious eyes.  “-- Oh? You do not say! How curious! What– er, who--  are the Shambali? Tell me,  oh please tell me, dearest Najma! I am dying to know more! DYING!”

[casually-crooked]

Credit to @cosmoglass for making the post that first pointed this out, but I want to show in more detail why Lupin the 3rd: Castle of Cagliostro and ICO for the PS2 are aesthetically connected, with the latter likely being inspired by the former. This post won't contain direct spoilers for either source material. But a lot of images will be used, so if you prioritize coming into both of these masterworks blind, and with fresh eyes, wait until you've seen them for yourself.

[ID: Image 1: A full shot of the Count's Castle from Lupin the 3rd: Castle of Cagliostro. /end ID] [ID: Images 2 & 3: The Queen's Castle from ICO, both close and wide shots. /end ID]

Here we can see the castles side by side. You won't notice many architectural similarities beyond perhaps the arch bridges. But both rest upon a body of water, closed off from the mainland. Both castles were made to be isolated and difficult to reach. Speaking of difficulties, you'll notice in ICO that the bridge to the mainland appears to be missing. A more accurate statement is that it is retracted. Later in the game, a stone bridge will extend itself out of a slot to reach the mainland, much like another part of the Count's Castle, which connects to an isolated tower.

[ID: Image 4: The Count's Castle, focus on the isolated tower and a section of castle extending out to connect with it. /end ID]

There's also an elevator on the outside of both castles' walls, and while they vary drastically in style, this specific wall-ascending outdoor elevator is pretty unique in concept.

[ID: Image 5: The Count's Castle, a ridge in the outside of the tower allows a boxed elevator to ride up and down. The elevator itself is octagonal in shape and fancifully decorated. /end ID] [ID: Image 6: The Queen's Castle, a ridge in the outside of the tower allows a platform elevator to ride up and down. The player must manually turn a large crank to ascend and descend. There is no roof, and only a fence protects the riders from falling off. /end ID]

Both castles also feature a windmill that overlooks a small area of greenery.

[ID: Images 7 & 8: The Count's Castle, a small four winged windmill of old construction overlooks a small walkway with lush bushes dotting the view. It faces out towards the water. Images taken from both front and back of the windmill. /end ID] {Note: The following images are not of ICO, but rather an accurate recreation of the Windmill area created in Unity by funkyboy. They had the best angles to demonstrate my point.}

[ID: Images 9 & 10: The Queen's Castle, an eight winged windmill overlooks a small pond surrounded by vibrant green grass. It faces out towards the water. Images taken from the left and right sides of the windmill. /end ID]

One can find a few more similarities inside the castle walls. Particularly in the aqueduct leading towards the Count's castle. The underground waterworks are filled with huge gears and intense streams of water. A similar locale is seen in the final stretch of ICO, where the gears and mills are used as a platforming challenge.

[ID: Image 11: Lupin, in diving gear, fights against the current of a waterfall that spills out over a underground passageway of brick construction. Large interconnected gears encompass the background. /end ID] [ID: Image 12: A promotional poster featuring Ico, small in the frame, looking up towards streams of water raging down over a cliff face, the streams land into mills and gears that turn.]

Both pieces of media also feature a stone bench. Though ICO's benches are more prominent and used as Save Points throughout The Queen's Castle.

[ID: Image 13: A sun sets on an old marble pavilion with a stone bench, slightly coated in crumpled autumn leaves. The seat is split into three sections of the stone. Very detailed art style. /end ID] [ID Image 14: Ico and Yorda rest on a stone bench, split into two sections of stone. It glows with runes when Yorda is near it. /end ID]

But it's not just the castle that has aesthetic similarities, the characters themselves have some commonalities. Clarisse, from Cagliostro, has a resemblance to Yorda. And while Lupin, as her rescuer, doesn't resemble the 12 year old Ico, he does end up with a head injury that requires bandages around his head, later in the film. Ico is always seen with bandages across his head throughout his game.

[ID: Image 15: Lupin holding Clarisse's hand as he guides her back through the aqueduct area, filled with turning gears. Clarisse wears an all-white dress and has a colorful shade of brown hair. Lupin wears a green jacket over a black shirt and yellow necktie. He has white bandages wrapped tightly around his black hair. /end ID] [ID: Image 16: Ico helping Yorda up by the hand after she has fallen. Yorda wears a white dress with brown and grey patterns around the neck and shoulders. Her hair is mostly gray with very faded traces of brown. Ico wears an orange tunic and a poncho with an elusive ancient pattern on it. Around his black hair are white bandages, from which horns sprout. /end ID]

There are also two moments in the Lupin film where Lupin helps Clarisse across a small gap, but I only have a clear screenshot of this instance.

[ID: Image 17: Lupin helps Clarisse cross a short, watery gap between two platforms that they stand on. He extends his hand to grab hers on the other side, intending to pull her towards him as she jumps. /end ID]

Helping Yorda across gaps is such a staple of ICO's gameplay, it's hard to think of the game without thinking of this image.

[ID: Image 18: Ico reaches out his hand to Yorda on the other side of a fairly long distance gap between their two platforms. She is at the edge of hers, preparing to jump towards him, the intent being that she will grab onto his outstretched hand. /end ID]

And if the main characters aren't visually similar enough, how about the common enemies? In The Castle of Cagliostro, there are a group of assassins shrouded in black cloth, and equipped with metallic claws that make them appear monstrous. Their eyes glow an unnatural yellow and they often walk with hunched postures.

[ID: Images 19 & 20: First, a depiction of the aforementioned assassins, piled together in a doorway, glaring towards their targets in the dead of night with yellow glints for eyes. The second image is a close up of one of their hands, which resembles a gauntlet from a set of armor, but with sharp, long pointed ends on each digit and sharpened knuckles. /end ID]

Compare with the common enemies from ICO, which are actual manifestations of shadow. They appear bestial and often hunched over as they approach, claws and wings are common in their design elements, and they bare glowing blue eyes.

[ID: Images 21 & 22: Close-ups of two Shadow Creatures. The first has grabbed Yorda, and lifted her onto one shoulder with slender appendages that end in long points. It's face glows with a bright blue light that emanates from its eyes. The second Shadow Creature stares at Yorda with the same blue eyes, it's back covered in ethereal feathers, it's long arms cascading down to the ground, also ending in points.]

The pictures don't capture the movement of these characters but I assure you they both walk with an unnerving energy that feel very similar to each other.

The Castle of Cagliostro came out in 1979 when Fumito Ueda was 9 years old. In all likelihood, he and the people that made up Team Ico at that time, had watched the movie several times as they grew up. Considering also, the fact that ICO lacked most of these resemblances in earlier stages of development, I think it's possible that Ueda and/or the team rewatched the film mid-development and decided to wear the inspiration on their sleeve. Regardless of how this Lupin the 3rd movie sneaked some of its aesthetics into a classic PS2 title like ICO, I think they are undoubtedly connected by a link of artistic inspiration. Hayao Miyazaki's directorial debut inspired Fumito Ueda as he created his first game.

[astaroth1357]

Leviathan's Odyssey 9 (End):

Isolation

*Lucifer is in the Student Council room collecting paperwork when he hears his phone go off… It seems like Barbatos is messaging him yet again... For the third time this week. Though he dreads whatever news it brings, Lucifer checks his messenger and lets out a long sigh when he gets his confirmation*

*Levi was sent home early… again. He hasn’t been present for a full day of classes in nearly a week and Barbatos is beginning to get on Lucifer’s case about it… Diavolo placed a lot of trust in the eldest to bring his brother under control, but it hasn’t exactly been very successful and his butler sees no problem with applying the pressure in his lord’s stead. Though he wouldn’t call this latest message a threat of expulsion, he can sense they’re getting dangerously close…* 

*normally, Lucifer would wait for the day to finish himself before returning to the House and giving Levi a lecture, but that approach hasn’t been faring well… Though he loathes to be absent, who knows what trouble his brothers could get in, he sends his response to Barbs and goes to collect his things. He has been thinking up a few solutions to the “Leviathan Problem” and it’s about time he started enacting some, but first he needs to do some shopping*

*it isn’t hard for Lucifer to find what he was looking for in the shopping district and he makes it back to the House about an hour before classes would officially end. He already knows where Levi would be, he’s been nothing is not predictable since he first came home with them... In many ways, he still has the mindset of a combat survivalist. He quickly grew territorial of the room they gave him, he tries to grab as much food as possible at meals, and every new person or situation is treated with hostile skepticism... Their brother may be home, but he certainly isn’t “back." Not yet anyway...*

*when Lucifer ascends the steps to go to Leviathan’s room, he tries knocking on the door first. Levi had taken to making ridiculous entry passwords again, an encouraging sign, but that was mostly because Lucifer forbade him from issuing trial by combat to newcomers… Unfortunately, today there wasn’t any voice on the other side… Lifting the lock on the door is child’s play with just a little magic, so after giving his brother ample time to say something, Lucifer opens the door himself*

Lucifer: Leviathan? *he pokes his head in with a bit of caution, Levi could still be quick to lash out if caught off guard*

*Lucifer’s eyes scan the dimly lit room, with only the soft blue glow of the water tank behind a glass wall offering him any light. They discovered quickly that Levi’s skin would dry out at an alarming rate without some access to water. Their first fix was to give his room a bathtub that he could soak in, but due to its narrow size Lucifer eventually had an aquarium installed for him instead. He could climb in and out from a gap near the ceiling and it had more room for him to move around freely. That seemed to resolve the issue, but Levi still remained fond enough of the bathtub to keep it around*

*he half expected to find his brother in said tub, back to the doorway and trying to ignore him, but instead he sees a black figure curled up at the bottom of the water tank. He recognizes Levi, even in his newest form - or at least the form that they taught to him once he was on dry land. While in the ocean, Levi never needed to be rid of his gills or scales, they were practical for swimming but not so much for daily life. His new form kept his tail, horns, and patch of scales here and there, but it mostly allows him to pass as an average demon. He can maintain an even milder appearance without any of the extras, but he doesn’t seem to like it as much… He always complains of feeling “too small” without his tail*

*Lucifer steps into the room and closes the door behind him. Under all of that water, Levi probably didn’t hear him knock… Or maybe he did and didn’t feel like answering. He found it hard to pinpoint just what his brother could or couldn’t do anymore… When he gets into the room, he sets a white grocery bag he had been carrying on a nearby table. He’ll have to bring up its contents at the right time… He needs to speak to Levi first.* 

*Lucifer goes to the glass wall and gently knocks his knuckles against it. The black bundle in the water stirs and Lucifer watches as Levi's tail slowly begins to unravel from his body... Soon enough, he’s looking his brother in the face but he doesn’t look very happy to see him… He rarely looks happy to see anyone frankly…*

*Lucifer points up to the edge of the tank and gestures to his ear, signaling that they need to talk. He’s almost surprised at how easily Levi obliges this time, pushing off of the aquarium floor and swimming up until he’s above the surface. After taking a gulp of air, he leans over the edge of the glass - seemingly unbothered by the droplets of water that cascade to the floor.*

Levi: What do you want, Lucifer?

*Lucifer tries his best to look stern, but not overly angry. Though Levi is far less dangerous inland than he was by the ocean’s shore, he’s no less irritable... If this conversation is going to happen, he’s going to need to keep his composure for a while longer*

Lucifer: Barbatos informed me of what happened today… 

Levi: And?

Lucifer: Annnd, we’ve already been over this, Levi… You can’t keep stabbing your fellow students with forks. 

Levi: If you gave me my trident back, then I wouldn’t need to use them.

*Lucifer groans a bit and fights the urge to rub the bridge of his nose… Of course he’s in a mood again…*

Lucifer: Don’t play games with me, Levi… You know what the real problem is here.

Levi: Yeah, it’s the stupid school! I hate going there...

Lucifer: Levi, Lord Diavolo was very gracious to offer you a place in his academy and a seat on the student council, no less. And being one of his military officers now also puts you in a position of great importance... Your actions reflect on him and his kingdom as whole-

Levi: I know all that already, I heard you the first time! *Levi leans his chin against the edge of the glass, but still doesn’t look any happier. To his credit, he has been trying to yell at his brothers less... So it’s not too surprising to hear his voice suddenly drop down to solemn whisper*

Levi: … You know what everybody calls me there? The “Fish Freak...” They say I smell like a beached whale… *Lucifer blinks at the revelation, because this is news to him*

Lucifer: Is that so…?

Levi: Everyday. And you know what else? They trip me in the hallway or throw my things in the fountain. Somebody even left a dead squid on my desk! *a familiar look comes into his eyes now, one burning of hatred - but this time not directed at brothers...*

Levi: They’re lucky I only have forks right now...

*a part of Lucifer wants to be fine with Levi sticking up for himself… The Demon World is a cruel and harsh place where intimidation is often the best answer. He and his brothers had to learn that the hard way… But Diavolo’s goals are peace and unity - the academy was even founded with that in mind… His students should be shying away from such barbaric tactics and the council has an example to set… As much as it pains him to say it, Levi’s actions are unacceptable…*

Lucifer: Tell me the students’ names and I’ll have them punished. I guarantee you that... *takes a deep breath to prepare for what he must say next…*

Lucifer: … But you can’t keep causing trouble like this, Leviathan. Lord Diavolo has a strict code of-

*Lucifer watches as Levi groans and lifts his head off the glass, though this time he looks more frustrated than enraged*

Levi: There you go again! Diavolo this and Diavolo that!! Don’t you ever think of anything else??

Lucifer: That’s Lord Diavolo to you, and of course I do. But this isn’t the Celestial Realm anymore, Levi, and we need to adapt to his rules. *Levi’s eyes narrow at him, seeing an opportunity to dig in the knife…*

Levi: There’s adapting and then there’s ass-kissing... Which are you doing, Lucifer?

*and like that, for just a moment, Lucifer wants to abandon the whole project. He wants to leave Levi to wallow in his tank and go back to more important matters... He wants to throw his gifts into the garbage and just forget he ever bought them! His anger must have been plain to see, because Levi looks almost regretful for a second as he pushes back from the glass*

Levi: … Yeah. I didn’t think so.

*with that, Lucifer watches his brother sink back underwater and return to the floor of his aquarium. He honestly has half a mind to just turn and walk away, at least until he sees Levi curl up on his side against the store bought sand. He draws legs into the fetal position and faces his back the glass wall, letting his tail once again curl around his body as he goes back to laying in the water… alone…*

*the lonely image is enough to bring Lucifer back to some sense… Had he really forgotten why he was there so easy? With a steadier mind, he gently places a gloved hand against the surface of the glass, watching Levi from behind the wall between them…*

*his brother fell from Heaven then had to survive on his own… when he came back, he not only found out that his family had been living like royalty, but they hadn’t even been out looking for him in a long time… Now he’s been ripped from the home he’d grown accustomed to and thrust into a culture he barely understood…*

*Was it any wonder he was struggling? Was it any better for him in the Devildom than it was beneath the sea? Would it have been better to just let him stay where he was comfortable…? These thoughts have plagued Lucifer for some time, but he wouldn’t dare break up his family now…* 

*Maybe... Hopefully… Levi just needs an outlet to help him cope...*

*Lucifer knocks on the glass a second time, but it’s not an angry pounding or anything. Levi must not have expected that, because he actually looks back at him in mild surprise. Lucifer signals once more for him to get out of the water before stepping aside to grab the grocery bag from before. Intrigued, but cautious, Levi swims back up to the surface and pulls himself up to the edge*

Levi: … What’s that?

Lucifer: Something I bought for you. *Lucifer picks up the bag and goes back to the tank. Levi’s eyes widen slightly with shock*

Levi: You bought something… for me?? Why?

Lucifer: It’s something that I think you’ll like… I’m told it’s very entertaining and hopefully it has all the… violence that you’ve grown accustomed to... 

*he digs into the bag and pulls out two things, a DVD box-set of something called “My Life as a Demonic Pirate Defeating the Seven Lords of Hell” and a paperback book with a cute looking mermaid on the cover under the same title*

Lucifer: Levi. Have you ever heard of something called anime?

Parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

[lightdancer1]

The partial scene I have from the Gotterdammerung AU

The Palace burned, Zuko relieved to see that Mai and Izumi had fled by balloon. It burned and the fires that set it alight were a horribly familiar cerulean blue. Aang had told him, Iroh had told him. Others had told him but he couldn't believe it. The one thing he'd known about his sister was that she was misguided but above all else she loved their nation, had loved their family.

If she'd hated anyone in the family he'dve expected it to be Mother. Instead she had let Ursa lead people to evacuate when she'd sent the warning and then the two had spoken by night and dueled in a terrible clash of indigo and bright blue.

Fire stalked the halls of the Fire Nation, and through the ashes strode his sister in the new model armor she'd made her own, her fires creating an eerie light around her.

"What have you done?" Zuko's voice was choked with rage and anger, the bemused anger of someone who had seen a dream laid waste without understanding why.

"I was always a monster, Zuzu." Her voice was flat, toneless.

"This nation made me into one." The toneless words became a tone leavened with anger and with gloating.

"It took a little girl and taught her to destroy and to kill. Nations that do this to children deserve to burn."

She stepped out of the reeking clouds of smoke that had Zuko coughing, her jawline hidden by the strange mask within her helm, yet he could see the smile in her eyes.

"It deserves to burn, and so I made it burn. False pride turned against itself. The old addictions to strife and honor allowed to run rampant. Not the controlled burn of Firebending, the death-flame, the old Fire-Oni that Agni banished to the primordial realm beyond the walls of the world. I have brought fire to its oldest roots, brother."

They stood in a Palace burning, smoke around them, rainbow-tipped fires gleaming from his hands and bright cerulean ones from hers.

"I hated this place, you know. It took dear cousin Lu from me, then the idea I could have ever had mother. Then you, then Mai and Ty Lee. Then it destroyed me. Now it will never be the same again, more thoroughly than when great-grandfather leveled it."

The gloating tone became much sharper then and he stiffened.

"Oh yes, I know now. One great-grandfather wanted light to the world and unity with Fire over Water and Earth and air ashes. The other separated families and dammed them in utter isolation. They were both bullies, arrogant and swaggering and sought to remake the world. I am heir of Roku and Sozin both. Sozin's destruction, Roku's grandeur."

Now they were close enough to almost touch.

"So," she said, slipping back to the monotone, "here is mother's Monster, Zuko. The world that made me into it has fallen under its own weight. Nothing more than it has earned."

Zuko prepared to fight and then Azula shook her head.

"Still Uncle's jackal, eating the leavings of your betters. That is all you will ever be, a pale ghost of the sons of Azulon."

She shook her head again scornfully and stepped away from him into the smoke. Zuko let his fires blaze beneath his feet and levitated, looking over the rising pillars of smoke and then he saw her striding briskly and swooped down toward her. In a sudden motion she lanced out with a line of fire that slammed into him and hurled him to the ground as he groaned in pain.

She went over to him and kicked him in the ribs six times.

"Stay down, if you know what's good for you. I won't kill you, Zuzu. I won't fight you. That would make me daddy's good little girl as you're Uncle's little boy, still wanting a father who loved you rather than being your own man. They want us to fight, they want us to pursue the dreams of a dead empire. Now that dream is done. And the dream of some great clash of siblings, a tragic fate Uncle dearest was too cowardly to wish for himself but demanded you and I do...."

She moved her mouthguard and spat next to his face.

"It will never happen. You deserve better. So do I. So take the extent of my mercy, brother. You wanted to make our nation better, to end our addiction to the old ways? Do it. Farewell, Zuzu."

He never saw her again as a living person.

[the-archpriest-and-the-outcast]

Argent

On a thousand worlds, prayers are murmured to a being hidden away. Within a million minds, prayers of hope and clemency are formed. From one billion hearts and one billion throats come words to bring voice to these hidden prayers, all praying for deliverance and an end to their suffering.

On one world, within one mind and two hearts, something listens to the song of the endless void. It hears the prayers, the screams and the suffering, all melding together with cries of exultation and joy. Like a grand orchestra or symphony, all ranges of emotion come together as one to create one lone melody.

From untold billions into one. Who contributed does not matter. Everyone screamed and laughed and cried the same, all contributing a note to the glorious melody.

On a thousand worlds, banners burned. Within a million minds, thoughts of resentment and freedom are formed. From ten billion hearts and ten billion throats comes words to bring voice to these grievances and slights, giving rise to action to bring an end to their suffering.

On one world, within one mind and two hearts, something listens to the melody changing. A slow, gradual change. A few notes here or there beginning to play out of order. But soon, many are to follow. The cries are growing louder. The raw, primal feelings of violence are beginning to grow and spread amongst the galaxy. Years ago, this would sadden the lone listener. But now? Now, they understand. The sounds of warfare begin to form a new song, a new melody. One that seems to be more beautiful than the last.

From untold billions into one, beautiful song. United. It is a song to stir the soul. It is a song that uproots oppressive orders and ushers in new governance and change. It is the sound of faith manifest, whether it be faith in the powers that guide the galaxy or faith in oneself and their comrades.

On a thousand worlds, a new dawn begins. Within a billion minds, thoughts of hope and wrath are formed. From untold billions of hearts and throats come the cries of unity, giving voice to the pain felt by generations. Cities shake. Worlds burn. Watchers from the deepening void begin to move in. Prayers are being heard.

On one world, within one mind and two hearts, something listens to the song building. These changes have taken eons, now. They needed to, in order to change the song so fundamentally. The prayers are no longer murmurs. The thoughts are no longer kept hidden. The thunderous roar consuming world after world had been building and building and building for generations. Finally, finally, enough had come together to turn thought to action.

From untold trillions of souls, hearts, and thoughts, change was coming. An end to an oppressive order that should have died out ages ago. Freedom for the many instead of only the few. Hope spread. Wars raged. New growth flourished. Joy and pain echoed through a realm hardly touched by many. The song grew louder, grew bolder, grew more powerful.

From many, into one. United. Together.

On one world, within one mind and two hearts, something was bearing witness to the galaxy changing once more. It looked to the sealed doors preventing it from interacting with the galaxy in full, letting it only watch and listen. It observed. It thought.

And from within one mind, one soul, one cell, the doors were opened.

One would need to guide these changes. One would need to keep everything united. Not alone. No, holding absolute power would only breed this cycle again. It could not be allowed to happen.

From untold thousands of worlds, souls, thoughts, and prayers, one broke its isolation and wreathed a world unseen in a beautiful silver corona. It moved and danced to the song, echoes and phantasms of souls crying out for an end of torment. The song had never felt so right, even with millions more adding their voices to its ever-spanning chorus.

From many, into one.

United.

Together.

Undivided.

[deerth]

my first mistake in witchcraft

yes i’m going to be petty over religion for a second here.

i have been slowly inching out of the broom closet as i now consciously move on from the atheist mindset to the pagan one. i was looking for more resources to research my path, and i ended up on a witchy server... woe unto me as i try to fit in once more, for it seems that not even witches are unified.

forget about all that shit about garden, cosmos and whatever witches. the religion actually broadly branches into two practices - Wicca and regular witchcraft. so you are primarily the one or the other, no matter what flavour of ritual you practice.

the primary difference between Wiccans and general witchcraft is your belief of whether religion can be used for harm or not. in short, Wiccans state “an it harm none, do as ye will” (as long as you don’t hurt anyone [including yourself], go bonkers), therefore you will not find Wiccans casting curses or hexes. we know the responsibility of our faith and we know that if you radiate bad vibes, it will come right back around to bite you in the ass later. that said, most Wiccans don’t mind witches who do curse or hex. some cultures use practices like voodoo, and even old eastern European practices were not free of rituals that were made to directly interfere with someone’s will (love spells that were supposed to make someone love you). therefore, a disclaimer: I’m not anti-hex. I would not use a hex because I feel that hate will not solve hate, and as long as you’re an adult, I trust you know what you’re doing with your power. maybe you are of an oppressed culture and have good reason to exact revenge on someone who severely hurt you, especially if you have a long-standing tradition of hexes. even Nina Simone sang “I Put a Spell on You” (albeit this is also a love spell). I know curses and hexes and even spells affecting with another’s free will are an inherent part of witchcraft and I won’t deny it. I follow my doctrine, you follow yours, that is fine by me.

what is NOT fine with me, however, is propagating hex culture among minors. why? because minors are not ready to take on that responsibility!!!! just like they are not truly ready to make healthy decisions about sex, alcohol or other substances, they cannot take true responsibility over causing harm, be it spiritual or otherwise. “what’s a little hex do?” you might ask, if you’re a minor. not to sound like a boomer, but when I was 16, I was edgy as fuck. I hated everyone while claiming to love everyone. I was in NO correct mental state to make decisions about the aforementioned things. even without casting any hexes, I made many mistakes. big ones. I hurt a lot of people. yes, I regret it all deeply. I wish I had thought things over rather than stay stubborn. in fact, most people under 20 are not ready to enter discourse, drama or a vicious cycle of hatred purely because it will always turn into “all bite but no bark”. I purposefully say it that way because although youngsters are admirably spirited and ready to take on the world... they often bite off more than they can chew. I see girlies straight out of high school trying to solve huge problems like racism, and although, again, admiring these young people, they have researched their stuff. to an extent, they know what they’re talking about... but I do believe hate will not solve hate.

one of the moderators of said server retaliated with it not being a universal truth, and claimed my take to be “unverified personal gnosis” (what is a verified gnosis, anyway? how do you measure it? especially in a practice like witchcraft where every bloody individual practises it differently and there are no priests or churches?). if the moderator happens to read this and wishes to elaborate, i’d be welcome for a bit of constructive discussion over what is and isn’t personal gnosis. I acknowledge that “hate cannot be fought with hate” is not a universal truth... that is perhaps where I went to the extreme. but believe me, I did not say it to be holier-than-thou. I was actually shocked to be called out by not one, but two moderators on my behaviour, instantly. I did not read in the rules that one would be forbidden to state their opinion or softly disagree, but perhaps it is so and I did not pay enough attention.

there comes another food for thought: is it possible to socialise without being opinionated in any way? would shutting down opinions truly prevent conflict? because I’m feeling very bitter and left out now. I know everyone on that server is not Wiccan. but to get slapped in the face right after I attempted to be friendly (laconic and feeble as that was), among who I considered to be my own people... I feel conflicted. now mind, I’m not going to leave witchcraft behind. it is my religion, and thanks to this experience, I learned that Wicca is the right thing for me. I don’t want to advocate for violence and a vicious cycle of hatred. my grandfather was Romani, therefore I believe I know a thing or two about mislabeling and hate enacted upon minorities and outcast people. does that mean I want to kill and hex every white in sight? the answer is no. if anything, me being both Wiccan and Romani, it would just add fuel to the fire. especially because Romani are stereotyped as evil witches in the first place, so it would be a double suicide. by propagating violence, I would give these people more reason to hate pagans and Romani people. both cultures are already feared and hated upon as it is. I am not going to give people more opportunity to hate me.

coming back to the minor I disagreed with in the server. I was shocked that the first thing that came to a teenager’s mind was a revenge hex. it screams of naiveté and irresponsible behaviour towards your faith. and not JUST your faith. as I am a student of psychology, I am well aware how mind patterns work, and here’s the funny thing: psychology has proven that witchcraft’s law of returns is somewhat true, not on a magickal level, but on a mental one. if you ponder over violence and revenge excessively, you are reinforcing those neural pathways in your brain. there is a reason why they say “hate breeds hate”. it is the same reason why depression is so hard to deal with. anything you obsessively ruminate over reinforces it again and again until escape seems impossible. I’m not only speaking as a witch, I’m speaking as a human being. is it correct to propagate petty violence among minors when we as adults can do better and guide young people to better paths?

I’m not saying young people shouldn’t use hexes. but I am questioning their ability to take on the responsibility of potentially hurting someone, or even just thinking of hurting someone. you plant a seed of hate and it may just grow. you knock on the devil’s door enough times and he will answer (disclaimer: I’m not Christian either, I just like the saying). soon there shall be nothing left but hate. if the person in question had not been a minor, I would have left it at that. but religion is sacred. a witch’s magick is essentially making something important to you sacred. it’s not a plaything. it’s not to be used light-handedly. it’s not a trend. and hexes should be the last resort if all else fails OR the person you hate has a damn good reason for being hated.

is it wrong to vote for love and peace? yeah, I sound like a hippie, but I think they’re right. love was not born from continuing to fight each other - love was born from unity, from coexisting. how does one fight racism? psychology says see more poc, interact with them, understand their struggles. how to fight religious fear? spend time with people of different views. how to get over homophobia? spend time with the gays and try to understand their views, and like, actually understand them. spending time with someone just to berate them is still bigotry. the interaction I mean here is coexisting with minorities in a shared space and them slowly, but surely becoming more accepted and normalised because we finally see them. even a bigot can’t stay a bigot if they are brought out of isolation. if they’re forced to see people different than them.

unfortunately, not even your own faith can comfort you sometimes, mostly because the community is still divided. there are rules on what should and shouldn’t be done, and woe upon thee if you dare to even peep one of your thoughts. I merely said thank you and sorry and left, as I always do when I feel misunderstood. it was a valuable yet harsh lesson, and I regret hoping for acceptance or even offering me a moment to be understood without being shut down without a second thought. I regret hoping for a little discussion where it is seen as a violation of rules.

again, as long as you are ready to bear the responsibility of harming another, do whatever you want. as a Wicca, I prefer staying benevolent and kind, even to those who traumatised me. you might argue that this essay in itself is not benevolent... after all, Wiccans don’t slander people behind their backs, you might say. but it is not my intent to slander. it is just me expressing sheer confusion over what I expected to be a community to hear out all voices, because why have a community at all if you allow for no discussion? do we shut off discussions entirely in fear of fights? but alas, it is human nature to be opposed, but it’s also human nature to still hold hands despite the differences - one just needs to acknowledge it.

blessed be.

[stones-x-bones]

The Real Gamble (Pt. 2) || Mina and Bex

TIMING: Current (part 2 of this) PARTIES: @drowningisinevitable and @inbextween SUMMARY: Here’s where the real gamble comes in. Will it pay off? CONTENT: Underaged drinking, Brief Domestic Abuse mention, NSFW-ish (Kissing)

Once the bartender had gone off with their drinks, Bex readjusted herself and smoothed her hands down the front of her dress. It was something she always did when she got nervous. “Well, it’s, you know,” she started off again, leaning fully against the counter now, hoping the low lights behind them wouldn’t show off her red cheeks too much, “that’s the wonderful part about history. To me, at least. Humans have changed so much since they first came about, but there’s so many things that have stayed the same. So many things that we’ve chosen to preserve, so we can remember. So we can be better.” She knew she probably had that stupid, dreamy look on her face as she talked, but she was never able to help herself. Once she got talking about history and how much the past really informs the present, she couldn’t stop. “Every cycle is just a repeat of the same things, just slightly changed. It’s incredible, don’t you think?” She finally turned to look at Mina again, eyes sparkling. The other girl’s wide-eyed stare wasn’t lost on her, but she chose not to mention it yet. “Much better than the city of Chicago. So,” she said abruptly, “you explained how to play Blackjack, but you still haven’t taught me how exactly card counting works,” she continued, scooting a bit closer. “Wanna give it a shot?”

Swallowing, Mina managed to clear her throat and her head, honestly just grateful that the bartender had come along before she’d made an absolute fool of herself. Now, at least, she was only a partial fool. “I think that’s always been one of the most beautiful things about humanity, to me, the capability to change so much and yet remain so similar to where you started. I mean, a lot of major things have changed: the fact that human sacrifice isn’t a big deal anymore is pretty great, and I really enjoy the internet, personally, but humans still play games and still form societies and still spread themselves out as far as they can go.” That was one of the things that she’d always thought, more than anyone else’s teachings, that made humanity better. Fae, other supernaturals, so many of their rituals, for all that they’ve managed to blend into human society, were still archaic and secular. They looked down on humanity, but, honestly, how could they not see their incredible marvels? How could they not want so desperately to be a part of something so big? “You’re right, it’s absolutely incredible.” She clasped her hands together. “Right, I haven’t explained card counting while we were at the table because I didn’t want to get thrown out for it. But, essentially, what I’m doing is keeping track of the cards that I see, the values of those cards, and how many cards are in the deck to essentially predict the probability of what type of cards will come next: something of high value, or something of low value. And then I make bets or don’t based on that number, depending on whether or not I want to win or lose the hand.”

“It’s more than that, even,” Bex said, “it’s not just that we form societies, but how. And how there’s always some form of community at the center, some need to draw people together. Whether it’s religion or protection or common goals. The first civilizations formed not out of necessity, but out of want-- to make life easier and to spread the amount of work. To share. The leap from hunter gatherers-- cavemen-- to a collective society? It was astounding. It still is.” She let out a content sigh, the smile on her face natural. When was the last time she’d raved about history this much with someone? Probably when she’d last spoken to Professor Campbell, but the feeling was different here. She felt more at ease here. “We’re explorers,” she added on after a moment, “always have been, always will be. Whether it's our own planet, or the stars, or, well-- a place we created. Like the internet.” The bartender returned with their drinks and set each one down in front of them before nodding and heading to another needy patron. Bex grabbed hers and slid the other to Mina. “Sorry...I know you didn’t ask for a lecture on humanity. But I did warn you, I don’t know when to shut up sometimes.” Taking a sip of her drink would certainly shut her up, though, so she did just that, focusing back on Mina as she explained what all it took. And when she was done, Bex could only stare for a moment. “See,” she started, “you say that as if that’s all easy but sometimes I can’t even keep track of the number of meals I’ve eaten in a day, let alone that many cards all at once and then also calculate probability from that. Sheesh, you really underplayed this.” A chuckle, though, as she took another sip. She’d never had a cosmo before, but it wasn’t bad. Strong, but not bad. She hoped it wouldn’t mess with her painkillers too much. C’est la vie, she supposed. “Did you learn from someone or did you figure it out all by yourself?”

“See, and that’s-- yes!” Mina nodded. “That’s it, actually, how societies came together and, I don’t know, keep coming together? The, ah, the connectedness of people, of humanity. I’ve always liked learning about that.” She smiled. “I’ve always liked that, too, the exploring, the desire not to just stay in one area, secluded and never being more.” She should, as a nix, want something stable, something lasting. A lake or a river bed to stay in and protect, a piece of nature that belonged to her and her kin. But Mina didn’t grow up like that. She’d never had those thoughts, those desires. She’d attached and detached herself from places her entire life, and she couldn’t imagine not doing that anymore. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know. I like hearing you talk about it. Besides, I could use a lecture on humanity every now and then.” She took her a sip of her drink. The last time she’d had vodka had been straight from a bottle two years before with the daughter of a Russian slayer her father had been working with, the girl more fascinated than disgusted by Mina as she asked questions about Fae that Mina just didn’t know the answer to. What would she know about Fae when she’d never been never really been around them? The cosmo was much sweeter, though she still felt that bite. “I really-- I mean, you don’t actually have to remember the numbers, just highs or lows.” She shrugged. “I learned myself. My schooling was kind of my own, so I just learned what I wanted after I learned what was useful. I, ah, didn’t realize that I knew how to count cards until I was… actually counting cards. Which is why I got in so much trouble the first time I did it.”

“Connection is the most important part of a culture,” Bex said, “it’s what creates a healthy, functioning society. If people can’t connect to each other then--” she paused for a moment, reflecting on her own words. Connection. It was such a strange concept to Bex. She hadn’t had many opportunities to connect to people before, as a child, as a teengaer, even as a young adult. She was isolated and awkward and anxious, and even the connections she did make always turned out wrong or bad or toxic. She was sure from an outside perspective, it all made sense, but to her, it was her own fault, her own failure. And her parents agreed. “--well, then, there’s just nothing.” She finished rather somberly and tried to move the thoughts away from such a low place, sipping the drink again. Maybe a larger amount than she should have, but unbeknownst to most people, Bex’s first drink of alcohol had been vodka and it had been when she was twelve. It seemed her father’s taste ran in the family. She gave a short laugh at Mina’s next comment. “Couldn’t we all?” She nearly rolled her eyes, then, pushing away from the counter and taking Mina’s hand again. “God, you really need to follow my wisdom and just let me compliment you. I know it’ll work out in the end. Now c’mon,” she urged, “I wanna see you in action again. You get that funny, smug look on your face when you play and I wanna see it.”

“I agree, totally, though I’m, ah, I’m bad at those. Connections.” Mina kind of swirled her drink a bit, though she smiled to sort of lessen what she was saying. Recovering, she said, “But you already know that.” She’d never really made connections to anything that was a part of a code. Except that she’d founded so much of what she was on that fact, and now she was having to rewrite all of it. “You know, I actually think a lot of people have the whole humanity thing down. It’s just how they use it that matters.” She allowed Bex to take her hand, careful not to spill her drink, and lead her back to the main floor. “Sorry, I’m not particularly used to it. Ah, accepting compliments. Not my area.” She felt nice, though, when Bex said she was going to keep trying, even if it made her cheeks warm a bit with embarrassment. She looked over at the tables, deciding that it was probably a bad idea to go back to the one that they’d previously been at, but the only one open had the leprechauns at it. Mina pulled a face but went in that direction. “Okay, I’m not sure if I trust you, now. I’ve never been called smug in my entire life.” But she pulled up a seat for Bex and sat down herself, putting her chips down and motioning for the dealer to deal her in. The leprechauns turned, and she could barely make out their eyes staring at her before she looked away. Fae unity or not, she detested leprechauns.

“Well, me, too,” Bex shrugged, “all we can do is keep trying, though, right? And...we have each other, right?” And though Mina’s smile was soft and it cut through the more hardened part of the sentence, Bex could still feel the sorrow behind the words. “You know you can do both, yeah? Connect to nature and other people?” A little lighter this time, teasing in her voice as she squeezed Mina’s hand. She wanted that other smile to be on her face, not this one. “Hmmm,” she hummed in thought, “I guess you could have a point there. But hey, don’t apologize for that. Like I said, I’ll keep trying.” She wouldn’t mind doing that at all. She turned her head enough to make sure Mina saw the smile on her own face, pinching her eyes closed ever so slightly. It was only a little hypocritical, considering Bex herself often fought to accept compliments given to her, when they didn’t concern her looks or attractiveness. But how many people did she know who cared to compliment her intellect or enthusiasm? 

Once they were on the floor again, Bex let Mina decide which table to head to, hand tight in hers. “Ah ah,” she said, sliding into her spot, “no take backs. You already said you trusted me, so now you’re stuck with me. Sorry not sorry.” A cheeky grin flashing from behind her glass as she took another drink, before reaching in to pluck out the cherry. “Besides, it’s not like it’s an obvious smug look,” she went on, looking over at Mina unassumingly as she popped the cherry into her mouth, tugging the stem off. “I just see it in your eyes.”

“Right,” Mina said quietly. She attempted to match Bex’s tone. “You know, I’m just as good at connecting with nature as I am with people. I fell out of a tree once, actually. My dad said I broke my leg in three places. He had to carry me to the end of the hike.” And then to a body of water to heal herself enough so that she could walk on her own, but that wasn’t worth mentioning. Not when it would have made Mina look unnatural. She didn’t even know why she said it in the first place; she was trying not to worry Bex. She shook her head a bit, but she was laughing. “If you keep trying, I’ll get a big head. Isn’t that what most people try to avoid? I don’t think it’d be a good look on me.”

Mina made a face. “Wait, no, fine. I mean, I trust you, but not about this funny face business, especially with the smug comment, and…” she trailed off before she looked away from Bex, back to her own drink, before she took a swallow. The leprechaun slammed the table with their chips, startling Mina a bit. When she looked down the table, the one on top was glaring at her. She stared back. She would not be cowed by a stack of little stone men. That would be ridiculous. She looked at her cards and motioned for the dealer to hit her for another before moving on. Who allowed leprechauns to play blackjack, anyway? Wouldn’t they be better at poker, with their little stone faces and their inability to communicate properly with humans? Then again, blackjack was more about hand gestures than speaking, but still, and it was certainly a good way to make money. Some of the chips had a certain shine to them that she was sure the leprechauns liked.

“Oh, geez,” Bex said, exasperated, “another story about a broken bone, huh? And I thought I was clumsy.” The truth was that she wasn’t really as clumsy as she let people believe-- though she was clumsy, and their hike up the falls had proven that to her-- but bruise after bruise meant story after story, and she’d only tried to tell the truth once before she realized that only made things worse. “I hope you’re more careful about climbing trees now, I don’t think I could carry you to a hospital. I’m not strong, like, at all. And Nell hasn’t taught me any levitation spells yet.” Another tease, even if she didn’t quite know what she was saying. And there it was, the smile she’d been waiting for. It was back. She bit her lip and raised a brow. “You know, I think that’s a risk I’m willing to take. Besides,” she answered, leaning into her again, “you might look good with a big head.”

Mina’s words trailed off but Bex wasn’t paying too much attention. She jumped slightly when the small, angry looking man slammed his chips onto the table and glowered at the two of them. God, where were all these grumpy men coming from? Then again, this town had always had them in spades, hadn’t it? Bex had learned that the hard way. Her father’s friends were not fond of her, and while as a child she hadn’t the slightest clue why, she understood now. Her grip tightened on Mina’s arm as she wrapped one hand around it, watching the game play out. She was trying to do what Mina had said, keep track of the cards, the highs and lows, but there was too much information being given too fast. The next thing she knew, the round was over. “Wait, did you win?” she asked, looking at Mina, then to the little man. “I missed it.”

“I’m not clumsy, I was just up too high,” Mina said. “The forces of gravity working against me hardly counts as clumsiness.” She did look at Bex, though, a bit confused. “Why would you have to carry me to the hospital?” It wasn’t like that warranted going to the hospital. Did it? She thought that place was for emergencies. “But of course I’m much more careful. I don’t climb trees anymore. No chance of falling and breaking two different kinds of limbs.” No, these days she just fell off cliffs into churning ocean water. Honestly, that was far more dangerous. She wasn’t bringing that one up again. She snorted. “No, I would not look good with a big head. Absolutely not.”

Mina looked down the table and readjusted in her seat as the chips went to the leprechauns. The top one’s expression didn’t change, but it radiated smugness. She wondered if they were from the little colony that had been on campus. Had being the appropriate word. She’d done a very good job at scaring them off. “No,” she said, scrunching up her nose a bit as she laid down more chips as the dealer started passing out cards again. She muttered, “They did.” Bloody leprechauns. Especially these ones. “It’s fine, really.” She trusted in her next hand, determined to pay more attention. She didn’t really get it. She rarely lost track of things like this.

“You call it gravity,” Bex pointed out, “I call it being clumsy. Don’t worry, there were plenty of times ‘clumsy’ was gravity for me, too. Now we match!” She leaned over, patting Mina’s arm comfortingly, as if she’d just been given a truth that was hard to bear. “Your secret’s safe with me.” Bex let out a laugh, shaking her head. “Because I’m not a med student, I’m pre-law and I only took one First-Aid class. You do not want me splinting a broken bone. I’d probably do more damage than help. But I do know CPR,” she tacked on with a grin, “you know...just in case.” She nodded, putting her chin back in her palm, watching Mina with amusement. “Mmmhmm, well, you never know until you try, right? Isn’t there a saying about that?” 

Bex watched as all the chips were slid over to the frowning man, and she felt a tiny surge of anger as well. Sipped her drink again as she glared at him glaring at Mina. Well, now she really wanted MIna to beat him, if only to wipe that look off his face. She clung to Mina’s arm, watching the cards get doled out again, waiting to see how it would turn out. Her heart was racing again, as she watched Mina’s hand. Was it good? She hoped it was. It looked like it was. She only had a few cards. That was good, right? Mina had said fewer cards meant a better hand. Really, she didn’t even care if Mina won, she just didn’t want the angry man to win. It would be nice, though, if she did win. Bex barely even noticed her grip tightening on Mina’s arm as she waited with anticipation.

Mina narrowed her eyes just a bit before pulling a face, scrunching up her nose as she tried not to smile. “You’re teasing me. Stop it.” Or don’t, I really don’t mind, actually. It’s perfectly okay if you want to just keep teasing me for however long you like. She laughed. “Oh, well, if that’s the problem, then I can splint my own leg perfectly, actually. So, you won’t have to worry about that, Ms. Pre-Law. The CPR might be useful, though.” She leaned back, raising an eyebrow at the younger girl. “I’m quite certain that there are some things that shouldn’t be tried, like poisonous berries or, maybe, inflated egos. Maybe I’m wrong, though.”

Tapping her fingers against the table, Mina allowed a small smile to work its way onto her face as she won the hand, the chips being slid towards her. She heard the disgruntled clicks coming from the torso area of the stacked leprechauns, and, okay, maybe she was feeling just a bit smug. If she was, there was really only one person to blame. She smiled, first at Bex and then at the dealer, and then she raised her bet. One a hand. Raised it again. Wash, rinse, and repeat. The leprechauns weren’t the only people at the table getting frustrated. The dealer raised an eyebrow at her, but Mina simply asked, “Do you believe in luck.” He motioned toward where a pit boss was headed towards them, a frown on his face. “No, apparently not, right?” She looked between Bex, the chips, and the pit boss. “We, ah, we might have to leave.” Then moving closer, she quietly added, “Quickly, or do you remember what I told you happened the first time I played? There, ah, might be a repeat of that here.”

Bex put a hand to her chest, feigning offense. Fingers grazing wounds she’d nearly forgotten about in her delight from the evening. “I would never,” she scoffed, doing her best impression of a British accent. “Okay, show off. But how would you get back to town or to a doctor’s so you could heal properly, hmm? Would hate for you to regrow another bone wrong,” she said, raising a brow inquisitively. “You know someone had to try them first to find out they were bad ideas, though. Would it help if I told you I’d probably still like you, even if you had a big head? You’re like, pretty much the only one that tolerates my history gibberish.” 

Bex quieted as she watched, with increasing fascination, as Mina won. Hand, after hand, after hand. Their chips were piling up! It wasn’t even about the money, Bex didn’t need money, but it was might satisfying watching everyone else-- especially that stone-faced man-- lose theirs. Steal from the rich, give to the-- well, okay, that metaphor didn’t apply, but Bex did like proving people wrong. She hadn’t even noticed the angry look on the dealer’s face, or the rather scary looking man ina suit heading towards them until Mina pointed it out. “What?” Bex asked, looking up. Her gaze followed Mina’s over and she inhaled sharply. “Hmm, you know what? I, uh-- I think I’ve had enough cards for one night, yep! We should, ah-- we’re just gonna--” Sliding out of her seat, keeping a tight hold on Mina’s hand. She stopped for just a brief moment to finish off her drink, before turning and tugging MIna after her. They definitely could not get caught, and not just because Mina was card counting. There were at least two other illegal things they’d done here, and both of them were about Bex. “C’mon, c’mon,” she urged, looking behind her to see the very disgruntled security man trailing after them. She weaved her way through the tables with ease, despite the increasing pain in her chest that seemed to be smothered by the adrenaline of the situation. Pushed out the same door they’d come in, laughing as they ducked past the bouncer outside and into the cool night air.

Once they were far enough away Bex was sure they wouldn’t be followed, she finally stopped, still beaming. “You know,” she panted, a little winded, “I don’t think I’ve ever been thrown out of somewhere before!” 

Mina opened her mouth slightly in shock before she snapped it shut and then gave a small laugh. She rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t need to find a doctor, you know I wouldn’t need a doctor, I’d just need to find something to support me while looking for shelter.” Specifically, a body of water. Then she could heal over the course of a few days enough to eventually make it back to wherever she was supposed to be headed. She hummed. “Alright, let’s get this clear, shall we? I don’t think your history talk is gibberish. It’s fascinating, especially to someone who has no real prior knowledge about any of what you’re talking on. I like it. I like hearing you talk.” 

There wasn’t really much time for conversation as they made their escape, the chips left deserted on the table and the top leprechaun’s stone stare following them through the crowd whenever Mina had the chance to look back. But she let Bex lead her, directing them passed the tables, passed the security guards. Mina gave one of them an apologetic wave and resigned herself to being on her best behavior the next time that she came to the Stacked Deck unless she had another reason not to be. Another reason like the sound of Bex’s laugh as they made it out into open air, happy and breathless, and, wow, Mina could only compare this to an adrenaline rush during a fight, except it wasn’t quite like that, not really, and she didn’t really know what to do with it. She looked at Bex, laughing. “Yes, well, usually, when I get thrown out of places, it’s a bit more dramatic than this. I think they stopped caring here when they realized I’d left the money.”

All Bex could see in this moment was Mina’s smile. Her face, framed perfectly by her hair, that chocolate-y shade of brown that reflected the moonlight just right. Bex’s breath was coming out in front of her in little puffs of air as she huffed to catch her breath-- she knew most of it was because her body was still trying to catch up to itself while it healed, but there was something else there, and she knew it. Her entire body even felt like it was vibrating, she barely heard what Mina was saying. She was just stuck, staring at her, feeling something building in her chest. Something so odd and yet distantly familiar she couldn’t help but want to feel it more. To understand what it was. And maybe she did understand, but right now all that mattered was this moment, her body flushed with excitement and a happiness she’d rarely felt. And she grabbed onto those feelings and she just...acted. Something Bex rarely, if ever, did. And the impulse came as her stepping forward to close the distance between her and Mina and cupping Mina’s face with her hands and pressing her lips to Mina’s in a flurry of emotions. And, oh, wow, did it feel nice, so nice. It just made her heart pound harder and faster and all the air in her lungs left, and after only a short moment she had to pull away to gasp for breath, still holding onto Mina.

And then the reality of what she’d done slammed her into the cement and Bex felt her entire body go cold, save for the burning in her chest. She let go of Mina and stepped back. “I--” she didn’t know what to say, she had no words, cold and frozen on her tongue. “I’m so sorry,” she managed to say, “I’m so-- I didn’t mean to-- I should’ve asked, I’m sorry.” Because what else was she supposed to say?

Fight. Flight. Freeze. Mina was very good at freezing, at going still in the face of something coming at her. Sometimes, she believed if she stood strong enough, she could be prepared for whatever was coming at her. Nothing could have prepared Mina for getting kissed. Really, she hadn’t expected it. Not that she’d never been kissed before! She had! But those times it had been expected, and it just… it never ended well. It was hard for things to end well when the ways that she saw herself and the ways that other people saw her were so… not well. But this was unexpected, and it was nice, and Mina didn’t think that Bex saw the way hunters and slayers and wardens-- and Mina herself-- saw her. She couldn’t breathe, for just a moment, couldn’t think, couldn’t really do anything, and just when her brain started to feel less like a jumble of ones and zeros in an order that didn’t make sense, Bex was pulling away, and Mina was left standing there blinking with her mouth half open trying to figure out what was going on. 

“Wait,” Mina said. “Wait, wait, wait.” She reached out for Bex’s hand before pulling back, reaching out again, opening her mouth, closing it, trying to figure out what to do. “Wait,” she said again because apparently that was the only thing she could actually figure out how to coherently say. Words, she needed to say words, more than just one. “You-- I--” Good, yes, incredible. She’d kick herself if she was able to. “You’re sorry?” she finally managed to ask. She swallowed tightly, before looking into Bex’s eyes, at her lips. Mina licked her own. “I mean, if-- if you’d asked, the, ah, the outcome. It would have, well, I mean, it would have been the same, really, so you just sort of skipped a step or two.”

Wait. The word made Bex pause. Mina said it four more times and still Bex didn’t move. She watched her with her own wide-eyed stare, hands shaking, as Mina’s mind seemed to crank back to life. Was she mad? Was she upset? Was she going to leave? Bex wouldn’t blame her. She hadn’t meant to. The feeling of the moment had just grabbed her and whisked her away and maybe, at heart, she’d always been this oddly impulsive. But her heart was still pounding, and her mouth felt dry and she watched Mina looking at her, and watched her lick her own lips and felt her heart squeeze and-- Mina said she didn’t mind. Perhaps had even liked it, from what Bex could parse out of her jumbled sentence. It was Bex’s turn to stutter. “You-- if I--” swallowed the lump in her throat, vibrating. She reflexively reached out and met Mina’s hand between them, “it was okay?” Was that really the problem here? Making sure it was okay? Even to Bex, it was clear it was, now. “I can--” she started again, moving a little bit closer, “--do you want me to...do it again?” Her voice was shaky and her breath was hot, but she moved in closer again, feeling the pull inside of her own chest telling her to do it. Do it again because it was the best she’d felt in literal years. And she wanted to, fuck did she want to. “Cause I can do that. I can definitely do that, i-if you want.”

“Bex,” Mina said, and she laughed a little bit, unable to truly catch her breath. “It was okay. It was more than okay, actually, really much more than okay.” So much more than okay. Stupidly more than okay. Mina wasn’t breathing properly. That was the only logical explanation to this lightheadedness, this tightness in her chest. But it was altogether quite illogical, really. She looked at their hands, laced their fingers together. “Please,” she said. She brought her free hand to Bex’s face, lightly stroking the younger girl’s cheek. “I want that.” She wanted it a lot, more than she could say, in any language, and Mina was practically fluent in three. She wanted it like she’d wanted so few things in her life because she’d never been given the opportunity to properly want things, hadn’t really understood that wanting was something she could do, and now that she’s started really, actually wanting something, something like this, well. She couldn’t just stop now, could she? They were close. They were so close, and all that Mina could do was nod her head and close her eyes and say again, “Yes, I want that a lot.” And, honestly, Mina would have kissed Bex herself if she wasn’t a coward, but even when she knew what she wanted, she was so, so scared that it’d be taken away, even if the probability of that was low. Bex had kissed her first! But it could be a joke. But it probably wasn’t. But it could be. So Mina just had to say what she wanted and hope, hope, hope for the best. Blackjack wasn’t real gambling. This was.

This wasn’t what Bex was supposed to want, but there was that saying, right? The heart wants what it wants? And, really, how often had Bex gotten what she wanted? Probably never. Maybe never. Her mind tried to find something to prove herself wrong, to prove that she didn’t have to give in to this strange, yet wonderful feeling inside of her, because her life was fine. Just fine. And she didn’t need this to make her happy, she could be happy in other ways, right? But it found nothing, and maybe she hadn’t wanted it to. Definitely hadn’t wanted it to. “Okay,” was all she said, barely nodding, because she was afraid if she started talking again she wouldn’t stop. And right now she didn’t want to talk, she wanted to kiss Mina. So she did, leaning into her this time, pressing their lips together gently. Fingers intertwined, Mina’s hand on her cheek, there wasn’t possibly anything else Bex could have wanted in that moment. She even let her free hand grab onto the fabric of Mina’s shirt and bunch it up and kiss her just a little more desperately, because who knew when she’d get something like this again. Who knew when this was going to simply slip through her fingers, like all good things did. And this time, when she had to pull away to breath, she didn’t say anything-- just looked at Mina and hoped she wasn’t dreaming.

The second kiss was better than the first, and, really, Mina could have asked for a third, possibly even a fourth, but they were just standing there, out in the open, and, wow, Mina really wanted this. She could stay in this moment and just enjoy it if she was allowed to, for as long as she was allowed to. But she and Bex both needed to breathe. She kept her eyes closed for just a moment longer, trying to slow down her rapidly beating heart with a few deep, even breaths. When she opened her eyes, Bex was staring at her. She hoped she wasn’t blushing too hard. Impulsively, she rushed forward and gave Bex a soft peck before pulling away just as quickly, smiling contentedly. She hoped she didn’t look like a fool. She probably looked like a fool. Did she even care that much, though, really? “Yeah.” Mina cleared her throat. “Yeah, that was-- That was absolutely more than okay. Just, I mean, just so you know.” She paused, eyes widening a bit. “I mean, actually, unless it wasn’t okay for you, in which case, and are you alright? You seem alright, but--” she laughed nervously. “Um, yeah. Yeah.”

It was Bex’s turn to just smile, the grin spreading across her lips as she watched Mina and listened to her fumble over her words. They really were quite similar, weren't they? Bex waited patiently for Mina to finish before she reached out to brush Mina’s hair behind her ear again. “Like you said, it was more than okay. And I’m okay.” She gave a short nod-- it wasn’t a lie. “I’m really okay.” Squeezed her hand tighter, rolling her lip between her teeth before she glanced around them. Her gaze landed back on Mina. “I really like your smile,” she said quietly, wondering if she could get Mina to blush anymore than she already was. She didn’t want to leave this spot, but it was getting colder outside and they were sort of in the middle of a public parking lot, and if someone hadn’t already seen them, they surely would soon. She tugged on Mina’s hand gently as she motioned towards the parking lot, walking backwards so she wouldn’t have to look away from her for too long. And if she fell, she knew Mina would catch her. “We should probably get back,” she commented, still hoping this moment wasn’t just a dream, or that she wouldn’t wake up tomorrow and immediately regret everything. Or even that this would make things weird between them. She wasn’t even sure what this meant, but those were all things for her to worry about tomorrow. For tonight, she would just give herself this. This one small thing that made her happy. “If you’re not too tired, we could watch another movie. You know, there’s still three Jurassic Parks left to watch.”

Mina managed to laugh. Relief, overwhelmingly so. “Good, good. That’s good.” She could be okay with this. Was this that whole ‘going after what you want’ thing that she’d been told about so much? Because, if it was, and the results were this positive? She could stand to do it a bit more often. Really, she could. Her smile managed to brighten as she said, “I like yours, too, you know. It’s cute.” It was cute and sweet and kind of wonderful when it reached Bex’s eyes, and every time Mina saw it, she couldn’t get enough. She let Bex lead the way back to the car before she unlocked and opened the passenger side door for her. “You’re right, absolutely. It’s late.” She’d really like it if this didn’t end, if she could just hold on to this moment and the lightness and heaviness and overwhelmingness of it all. How often does someone like Mina get things that she would like to hold onto? Not particularly often, actually. Maybe more than usual in the last year, but she could probably count the occasions out on both hands. She walked around to the driver’s side and got in, looking at Bex seriously. “Three more movies? Well, actually, I don’t think I know nearly enough about dinosaurs, so I guess we’ll have to watch at least one to fix that.”

Well that backfired. Now Bex was blushing, hiding her face against her shoulder as she felt the heat rising in her cheeks, a smile permanently on her lips. “That’s objective,” she said, “and I think you’re a little biased at this point.” She climbed into the car when Mina opened the door for her and folded her hands into her lap as she waited, turning to look at the other girl as she hopped in the driver’s side. “Yep,” she answered simply, giving a toothy grin, “and they’re working on one more right now. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of dino content to help catch you up.” She really wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss Mina again-- she’d never kissed anyone in a car-- but opted for just placing a hand on her knee. Leaning over to kiss someone seemed as if it might strain her injury and then Mina would probably get worried and the whole night might be ruined. Bex didn’t want that at all. The drive home somehow seemed longer, but maybe it was because Bex was desperate to be out of the car and close to Mina again. She’d never felt like this before, never ached to be near someone. It went against everything she told herself she was, and everything her parents told her not to be. She didn’t want that to matter right now, though. She could figure out the complicated stuff tomorrow, when her head was on right. 

Bex opened the front door to Morgan’s as quietly as possible as she held on to Mina’s hand, slipping inside with her. It was quiet, but she knew Morgan and Deirdre rarely slept. Bex felt as if she’d slept too much these past few days, but it was getting better. And she somehow figured she’d sleep really well tonight. “C’mon,” she murmured, “we can watch in my room. There’s a TV in there.” 

It was nice, Mina thought, to be the one teasing instead of getting teased. “Yes, well, I don’t think I’m the only biased one here, so.” She was beginning to recognize the feeling she felt as something akin to being mildly intoxicated, which was actually quite impossible, since she’d barely had one drink, and she didn’t start feeling anything for a bit. But that was the only comparison that she had to draw from that wasn’t violent, and so maybe she needed to worry about that. If she was feeling buzzed off of one drink, something might possibly be wrong. Unless this wasn’t that at all. In which case, she was confused. Bex’s hand was warm on Mina’s knee. She kind of wanted to kiss Bex again. “See? I was worried. Three more movies is not nearly enough dino content.” She could barely remember what happened through the first movie because she and Bex definitely ended up falling asleep. 

Mina let Bex lead her inside, trying to be quiet. Really, what she should do is excuse herself for a bit and go to the pool; since Bex had woken up, Mina hadn’t been able to go in the water and just stay there for extended periods of time like she used to. It was hard to do such things with a human in the house who would definitely notice a water nymph hanging around the pool, especially if that water nymph was actually someone that she spent time with. Instead, she followed after Bex, saying, “I’m right behind you.” It was fine. She could always just soak in the tub later.

Bex could list all the reason this was a bad idea off the top of her head, if she’d wanted to. But she didn’t. Maybe it was time for her to just make all those bad decisions that had been hiding themselves inside of her. It wasn’t like there was anyone to tell her not to. There was no one around that would stop her, or tell her she shouldn’t, or tell her this wasn’t the way she should be acting. There was only her wants and her needs and everything else be damned, she wanted to feel good for once. Even if none of it stuck tomorrow, she wanted tonight to stay. She didn’t want these feelings to end, this emotional high she was riding. She led Mina up to her room and closed the door, turning around to face her. She didn’t move to turn on the TV, but instead reached up to smooth down the collar of Mina’s shirt. “I’ll um,” she started, but her heart was hammering in her chest again and she was sure Mina could hear it, “I’ll put on the movie, if you want to just--” she paused, looking into her eyes-- “sit on the bed.” On her bed. In her room. The one and only other time she’d ever had someone alone in her room like this it had turned out catastrophic. Turned her entire life upside down and dumped her here, stuck under the scrutiny of her parents’ thumb. Would this turn out like that? She really hoped not. She still hadn’t moved, she needed to move. She didn’t want to move. 

One of Bex’s hands was on the collar of Mina’s shirt. It was a bit distracting, not unlike the hand on her knee or literally any time Bex had touched her at all over the period of the entire night. It was always a shock, whenever people touched her so carefree, something she’d only started getting somewhat used to since coming to White Crest, and Bex did it a lot, and it was lovely, really, it was, but it was also so distracting, and how did people think like this, anyway? She managed a teasing smile, very little thought required. “Right, of course, I can go sit on the bed.” One of Bex’s hands was on the collar of Mina’s shirt. Mina squeezed the other one from where it was still firmly laced with hers. “As soon as you let go?” Just like earlier, it felt good to tease, to have fun, to not have to be so serious or nervously, anxiously energetic. Mina had a lot of energy, all the time, far too much of it, really. She’s always wondered if that was a Fae thing, a desire to always be getting into something, causing mischief, running away. She’d assumed that any sort of mischief had been carefully and methodically worked out of her system years ago. It was nice to know that it wasn’t. She moved closer to Bex. “Or we could just stand here?”

Bex could feel her entire body warming up. The blush from cheeks was spreading to her entire face, perhaps even down her neck and to her chest where her heart pounded against her ribs. Mina was closer now and Bex heard blood rushing through her ears. “Right,” she agreed, not looking down at their intertwined hands at all, “I just have to...let go.” It felt as if the words were meant for more than just referring to their hands. Just let go. Of everything that had been holding her back up until this moment. Just let go, of all the pain and hiding and denial. Just let go, of pleasing everyone else before herself. Just let go. But she didn’t let go of Mina. Instead she dug her hand into Mina’s shirt again, fingers bunching up cloth, and tugged her closer. If this was the only night she got to feel this way, to be this way, then she wanted to make sure she used every opportunity to have it. “Or you could kiss me again,” she suggested quietly, “while we stand here.” Her voice was wavering, but she’d never felt more sure about anything, about what she wanted. “Because I kinda don’t want to let go.” 

They were just standing there in front of the door, facing each other, and all Mina could think was, Oh. There wasn’t much else going on in her head except for that and the fact that, why, yes, she could kiss Bex. She could just lean in-- not far, they were already so close-- and kiss her, and, wow, okay, yeah. She could do that. So she did that, leaning in slowly but surely, one hand tightening a bit on Bex’s while the other moved to Bex’s hair. Kissing Bex made Mina feel warm and light and fuzzy, all kinds of soft feelings that she felt would turn her into a puddle if she lingered too long. Maybe this was what happened to nixies when they got so happy they just died from it; they turned into a puddle of water and soaked back into the earth. But she didn’t particularly want to stop, not yet, not when she didn’t really know if she was going to be able to keep doing this. Nice things didn’t stay. Bex could wake up the next day and laugh in Mina’s face, but, really, if she could just enjoy this moment, for a moment, maybe that could be enough. It’d make this whole wanting thing worth it. When they both seemed to need to breathe she pulled away, her hand still in Bex’s hair. She had such soft hair. She ran her hand through it, unable to keep the uncertainty out of her voice. “Ah, good?”

Was it supposed to feel this good? It wasn’t supposed to feel this good. This wasn’t supposed to feel good. But, god, did it ever. It felt so good. Bex didn’t want to stop, even to breath. She wanted to keep kissing Mina, with their hands intertwined and Mina’s hand in her hair and Bex’s hand bunching up her shirt. Or maybe she’d be okay with moving somewhere else, as long as they kept kissing. She didn’t care about watching a movie anymore, or pretending like she wanted to watch a movie. When Mina pulled away, Bex stayed close, leaning into her. “Good,” she exhaled breathlessly, hoping to quell the uncertainty in MIna’s voice, “really good.” So good, in fact, she didn’t really want to keep talking about it. So she just leaned in again and pretended like they’d never stopped in the first place, gently prodding Mina to walk back towards the bed. She unfurled their hands in order to get a better grip on Mina as she kissed her and she pretended like nothing else in the world mattered. Because, really, it didn’t. It simply didn’t. Not right now. There wasn’t even that strange, growing dread in her stomach like last time she’d kissed a girl this much. There wasn’t even that little voice in the back of her head telling her this was wrong. This was just...all that mattered. All that she cared about. All that she wanted. And god damnit, she was going to take it. 

Mina allowed Bex to back her up towards the bed, using her recently freed hand to feel around behind her to make sure that she didn’t just hit it and fall over. Nothing about kissing should be this interesting and overencompasing and so much, but Mina felt stupid with it, giddy with it. Her hand hit the bed, followed by her knees, and she rocked forward, winding both hands into Bex’s hair, unable and unwilling to break away. Could she keep this, please? Just for a bit? She’d like this for a moment, maybe longer, maybe two moments, something that could last long enough for her to know that it was real. Because things like this were usually fake, and that was fine, really! She was used to it. Mina just didn’t think she deserved nice things. This was kind of a given, but she wanted them, and she wanted this, her fingers in Bex’s hair. And it seemed so real, and it just kept going on. She brushed the side of Bex’s face with her thumb. Eventually, she broke away briefly, momentarily, because she needed to breathe, before kissing Bex again. And again. And again. 

Bex would have believed this was a dream, had she not been able to feel Mina’s hands in her hair. Her lips against her own. This had to be a dream, though, right? For so long, Bex had been so afraid of dreaming again. Of being in that place again. But if this was what was there this time, then maybe she didn’t mind so much. No, she definitely didn’t mind at all. Mina’s knees hit the bed and their progress stopped and in the back of Bex’s head she knew they should stop for a moment to adjust, the tinge of pain in her chest reminding her why, but she didn’t want to. Not yet. Just a second longer. Just a little more. Her chest heaved after a moment and she had to pull back to breath. Her face was on fire and, actually, her entire body felt like it was on fire. She prodded Mina to sit back on the bed and climbed up next to her, breathing heavily. She leaned back in, brushing her lips against Mina’s gently while she still struggled to breath through the pounding in her chest. She didn’t want this to end, and more than that, she didn’t want Mina to leave. Sleep didn’t seem so hard with Mina around. And maybe if she never left, it would mean that this wouldn’t have to end. “Will you stay with me?” she asked under her breath, forehead pressed to Mina’s. “Just...for the night?” 

There was a distinct lack of a lot going on in Mina’s head. She almost always had something going on, too much, really. Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t embarrass yourself. Don’t let anyone see what you are. Be on guard. Remember what you’re doing in class tomorrow. A thousand numbers and phrases and reminders going off all the time, like the reminder that she really shouldn’t stay the night, that she should go relax for a bit, that she should go and sit on the bottom of the floor and think very intensely about what was happening. But Mina didn’t get that reminder. Instead, there was just Bex, and the feeling of Bex’s lips on hers, and the way their foreheads were pressed together. “Yeah, yes, I can stay tonight.” She could absolutely stay the night. Now that the option was there, she clearly, very much wanted to stay the night. Even if she was mildly uncomfortable and had to make up for it later, she wanted this. So much. She didn’t even really know how to comprehend how much she wanted it. Her brain still wasn’t working as well as it should be. Still, she knew enough to ask, “Are you okay?”

Whatever signals Bex’s brain usually gave her that something was probably a bad idea, or that she wasn’t supposed to do something, were completely shut off right now. In fact, her mind was barely functioning, because all of her concentration was on Mina’s eyes and her lips and trying to calm down her own, rapid heartbeat. Her cheeks were warm, so warm, and Mina’s hands were still holding her face and she pressed into Mina’s palm, because what else was she supposed to do? They were so soft and comforting. She drew in a breath, held it for a moment. She needed to calm down, but how was she supposed to do that, when they were still so close and Mina had said she’d stay. She nodded, perhaps a bit more hastily than she should have. “I’m okay,” she insisted, and she was. Really, she was. She looked up into Mina’s eyes, then. “But you-- you’re sure?” she managed to stutter, hands still buried in the cloth of her shirt. She knew the answer, she did, but she had to make sure. Had to make sure this was real and her mind wasn’t tricking her, and then once she was sure, maybe her heart would stop pounding out of her chest and she could kiss Mina again. She clung to her as if she was the only thing keeping her grounded right now, and if she let go, she would simply fall through the Earth and cease to exist. “You’ll stay?” And maybe she was asking too much, but hadn’t she suffered enough? Didn’t she, too, deserve something nice? 

“Yes, absolutely sure. Really, really sure, actually,” Mina said. Bex’s hand was still clutching her shirt, and she was so close, and, really, what else could she possibly say? The thought of leaving and going back to her room or the pool or just being anywhere that wasn’t in that room, in that moment, seemed impossible. If Mina wasn’t Fae and didn’t know any better, she would think that Bex was a leanan-sidhe with poisonous, perfect kisses, stripping Mina of any ability to want to do anything else. She should have known, probably, what this feeling was, that tightness that had been growing in her chest, warm and painful and happy, since she’d first started really talking to Bex. And she had, but it hadn’t solidified until she felt Bex’s lips on hers? She didn’t think so. She’d never been taught what to do with this. She’d never been taught how to handle this kind of good hurt. She leaned forward again, and gave Bex a soft kiss, gentle and lingering for only a moment before pulling away again. “I want to stay tonight, as long as you want me to.” She moved one of her hands from Bex’s face and held out her pinky. I am not saying the words, but this is proof that I mean this. I mean this. I mean this. 

“Of course I want you to stay,” Bex exhaled, nuzzling into Mina’s hand still on her face. “I want you to stay.” She felt more words bubbling up in her throat, begging to be let out. I want you, I want you, I want you. Words she’d thought a million times over, words that someone else had heard her think. But she swallowed them down, because they scared her. It absolutely frightened her, the prospect of happiness. Instead, she held up her own hand and locked pinkies with Mina and she meant it. She meant it. She wanted nothing more than to make sure this lasted as long as possible. So with their pinkies hooked, she leaned forward again and kissed her and poured all of her thoughts into the action. Whatever the world held for them tomorrow, they could figure it out, then. This was all that mattered. This, just this. This and only this. She pulled Mina with her as she laid back on the bed and finally moved her hands from Mina’s shirt, circling them around Mina’s shoulders and pulling her closer. If that was possible. She was staying, she was staying, she was staying. It was hard to believe. People didn’t stay. But Mina was staying. And Bex wanted her to stay. And her stomach felt tight, and warm, and floaty all at the same time. It was nothing like the last time she’d kissed a girl. Mina was nothing like her. She could trust Mina. She could want Mina. She pulled away after a moment and looked up into Mina’s eyes. “I--” she started, but stopped, words bubbling in her throat, “tonight was-- I just want to tell you…” took a breath, “T-word. For tonight. I-- I really liked it. Being with you. Out. Being out with you.” She was beginning to feel her nerves build up again. She needed to shut up. Her hands shook again and she shut herself up by pulling Mina back down to her and smothering her own lips. She should’ve done this sooner, she realized. Why hadn’t she done this sooner?

Then it was simple. Mina would stay. She’d do anything to hold onto this moment for as long as she possibly could. She squeezed Bex’s pinky with hers while they kissed, the promise of it lacing in her stomach. She could feel it in the way that Bex kissed her, in the way that she kissed back, and it was comforting in a way that promises rarely were. She could enjoy this. This wasn’t something to fear. It wasn’t a weight bearing down on her chest, something cold and metallic in the back of her throat like a reminder. It was solid, and real, and okay. Smiling against Bex’s lips, Mina wrapped one arm around Bex and got close, using the other to prop herself up. She pulled away, breathing heavy. “You really don’t have to thank me, you know. Or, even, not thank me, in this case. I really liked it, too.” She had to get it all out quickly, as quickly as possible. “I always like hanging out with you, whether we’re doing something like tonight at the falls or just drinking tea and watching movies. I’m not very good with saying these things, but-- but--” But she kissed Bex again, and, really, that was just as good as words, right? It seemed to be working pretty effectively for both of them, so far. And, sure, she knew that eventually they would get tired and need to breathe, but that was later. This was now.

But what, Bex wanted to ask, but what? But, well, that would require breaking the kiss, and why would she do that? She could ask later, when she had to breathe. Or maybe she just wouldn’t ask at all. Maybe they didn’t need to talk anymore. Hadn’t they spent all night talking? Maybe they could do with talking less, even if words tried to fight their way onto Bex’s tongue. It was just nerves, when she got nervous, she just started talking. She didn’t want to do that here. She wanted to just do this. But when they broke to breathe once more, she couldn’t help it. Her hands went up to Mina’s face, cupping her jaw, thumbs brushing her now rosy cheeks. “But I wanted to,” she huffed, her breaths coming up heavy, “I want to. You won’t let me say it, anyway.” She smiled, she couldn’t help it. She always smiled around Mina. “I like spending time with you, too. Doing anything,” her words got quieter, “but I think...I really like doing this.” But what? She still wanted to ask. She strained a bit to move herself up to press a soft kiss to Mina’s lips, lingering, before she laid back down. “But what?”

“‘Course I won’t let you say it,” Mina said, her eyes closing without her really wanting them to as she leaned in to Bex’s touch. “Saying thank you is like,” she paused, thinking it over, “it’s like owing something. Some even find it offensive, but it’s more about the owing of something. It’s saying ‘I thank you for this thing and owe you a favor’ for it, which can be something you don’t want, right? And you don’t owe me anything, ever.” She looked up briefly and smiled, and, when Bex kissed her again, she hummed in the back of her throat, not really realizing that Bex said something when she pulled away and Mina realized she needed to say something. Her eyebrows furrowed. “But what?” What ‘but what?’ What did ‘but what’ have to do with anything? Oh. Wait. “I’m not very good at saying these things, or any things, really without getting it all mixed up, sometimes, but I mean this. I like doing this. I really-- fuck.” She didn’t say that often, old habits of always being so careful of what she said hard to shake off. “I really like this, being with you, spending time with you.” She leaned over and kissed Bex because she couldn’t not, propping herself on her arms. She pulled away just a bit, her eyes tightly closed. Her voice felt rough as she said, “I’m so happy around you, and I don’t know what to do about that. I’ve never been like this before.” It was concerning. It was terrifying. It was really, really nice.

The words were strange. Bex had spent her entire life owing people things. She’d never realized the innocuousness of the words, either. How they could be said in kindness and taken in maliciousness. “Okay,” she answered quietly, “I won’t say it.” Even if she knew she wouldn’t mind owing Mina. Even if she knew she’d do anything for Mina. Bex did her best to look up into Mina’s eyes as she spoke, feeling her heartbeat increasing with each word Mina said. Even let out a small giggle when Mina cursed, biting her lip. She let her hands brush into Mina’s hair gently before coming back around to smooth down the front of her shirt again, palms flat. Bex licked her lips, felt her heart beating in her throat. “You could just...keep doing this? Because...I like being around you, too. You make me happy, or make me feel like everything’s going to be okay. That one day...I’ll be okay.” It was terribly, horribly frightening, that prospect. That one day Bex could be truly happy. That one day, maybe, she didn’t have to live her life in debt to someone else. That one day, maybe her life would be her own. That maybe Morgan was right, she did deserve to be happy. Gently, she prodded Mina to sit up again, still staying close to her. She moved them so that they were laying properly in the bed now, and curled up beside her, moving the hair from her face. “We can just...have this. Can’t we?”

“If you want to say it, you can, but I won’t accept,” Mina said quietly. “As I’ve said, it’s better to appreciate things, or to be grateful, or to simply do something in return. An equivalent exchange, right? That’s always better. It’s harder to twist those things, make them ugly. I’d never do that, though, even if you said ‘thank you.’ I’d never, I p-- you know.” She was having trouble focusing again, but she did her best to remain in the moment, to keep listening, to not get lost inside her head or heart over what she wanted versus what she feared could possibly happen. Honestly, if she woke up from this at the bottom of the pool, she was going to scream. “I could, quite honestly, keep doing this, yes. Easily. I’d really like it.” Is she allowed this? Can she please keep this? Mina felt a bit like she was going to shatter at the thought that Bex wanted this just as much as she did. It hurt, but in a good way, like when something was healing, and it was settling back into the right position, and that made it hurt, but it’d all be better as long as it got the chance to heal. “We can have this,” she said, laying down but never looking away from Bex. You deserve such good things, and I would like to give them to you if I can. She pulled Bex’s hands to her lips as she nodded. “We can have this.”

“I never really...thought about it that way,” Bex said quietly, “and, well, I appreciate you. But you already know that. Right?” she looked up into her eyes, pleading with her quietly, to say that yes, she did, she knew that. “I know you wouldn’t. Do that to me. I know.” She leaned in closer, kissing her softly, as if punctuating her statement that she knew. She knew Mina would never hurt her like that. She knew. And maybe that, even if she did, she would forgive her. When she pulled away again, she stayed close by, close enough to feel the warmth of Mina’s breath. She let her pull her hand up to her lips and felt something flood through her entire body. It was a strange sense of peace. It made her entire body relax as she realized that, in this moment, there wasn’t a single thing in the world that could hurt her. Not her magic, not her parents, not the world in her sleep that kept threatening to take her back-- not even the thing that caused the scabs on her chest. Mina was safe. She let out a long breath, then, and decided everything was okay. She moved her hand to intertwine her fingers with Mina’s again, before she moved herself forward, and nestled against Mina’s chest, sighing. “I’m so grateful for you, Mina,” she whispered against her chest, eyes already growing tired.

You say that now, but you could change your mind, and I absolutely wouldn’t even blame you, not with everything that I keep from you, Mina thought, but she just smiled. “I appreciate you, too. That feels like a given, at this point.” The world was round, the ocean was dangerous, and Mina appreciated Bex Ochsenstein. These were some of the well-known facts of the universe. She couldn’t imagine her life anymore without Bex in it. It wasn’t that she didn’t remember life outside of the other girl; she did. Every scar was a lesson, every lesson refused to properly fade from her brain, even though she was trying to change and be better. She still had that training, and she still had school, and she still had the whole getting better at ‘being a person’ thing that she tried to work on with varying degrees of success. But being with Bex kind of… made all of that sort of fade into the background sometimes. It was still there, but it wasn’t the most important thing. Being in this moment with Bex was the most important thing, and that was so utterly scary as much as it was comforting. Mina wrapped her arms around Bex and moved up to rest her chin on top of Bex’s head. Quietly, she said, “Ich genieße jede sekunde mit dir.” Sometimes, things were easier when they were harder for other people to understand.

As her eyes drifted closed, Bex realized that this feeling in her chest was a brand new one. Mina’s arms were wrapped around her, and it was with a startle that she realized she’d never had this before. She’d never felt safe in someone’s arms before. Safe and warm and comforting. She supposed that was partially her own fault-- she didn’t usually get this close to people, and even then, she rarely let them hug her or hold her. And she understood, ultimately, that Morgan’s arms would never hurt her. And though they brought her comfort, she was too used to arms and hands meaning pain, false comfort, punishment. But no, not here, not now. Not in Mina’s arms. Her heart had finally settled, even if Bex still felt as if she were floating. Both floating and grounded all at once. She pressed in closer to Mina and let out a sigh, moving to rest one of her hands on Mina’s side. She heard the words but they were foreign to her ears. Still, somehow, she understood enough of their meaning. Their intent. “I know,” was the last thing she murmured before she fell asleep, softly and soundly and knowing, for once, that she would wake up alright.