#wow I wrote again

[itsthislake]

“Icarus.”

it's all about freedom really

Credit goes to An Sifakah for the poem. Enjoy!

Support me on Ko-fi maybe?

[rodolfoparras]

You know what rattles this little pea brain of mine? Price on leave who’s gained weight, ass, stomach and thighs jiggling as you forcefully thrust into him, the back rolls when you got his ass up in the air head forced down to the floor while you bully your cock into his hole, the pudge of fat on his hips that you can’t help but grab at every time you go in for a kiss or that you can’t help but nip at when trailing kisses down to his dick, or the way his gut droops down to the fringe of curls that start at the base of his cock, dark hairs dusted all over his stomach and smeared in your cum since you’ve made it a habit to finish all over it every time you fuck, forcing him to wear clothes that no longer fit just to see him walking around with his pants unzipped and the way his shirt will ride up every time he stretches or lifts his arms but you assure him he has nothing to worry about since you’ll be getting him new clothes after ripping these olds ones up or cumming all over them while you fuck

[sincerelystesichorus]

me becoming a gortash apologist apparently

i never thought i'd say this. i am thinking about Enver Gortash. i'm usually not one of his apologists but... i've had brain rot for my Durge lately, and i think a big moment of developing your Durge is how you react to meeting Gortash again, yeah? you may or may not be close with Karlach but the party and Durge especially have all faced similar trauma of betrayal and exploitation nonetheless (and so has Gortash), he's already been introduced vaguely at the end of Act 2 as a threat/main villain, he worships Bane, he has general edge lord vibes (remember that bit where I'm usually not a Gortash apologist djdjdjd); what i'm trying to spit out, is there's a lot to sway you against Gortash in that first meeting. and I'd argue even a little further, as someone that followed Orin's plans of betrayal against him in my first Tav run, (just because her audacity is so damn funny.)

But anyway. Meeting Gortash. Finding out you used to be close. Perhaps homoerotically, perhaps in a strange platonic manner, or some other third thing, but nonetheless, Durge is assumably the only person Gortash has ever truly liked. He just really goes out of his way with praise at meeting again, the use of the word favorite is notable, and if Gortash had anyone worth elevating, he would, right? That was how Ketheric got here, Orin wants more credibility for herself and the Bhaalists, and Gortash... just enslaves his parents in their old home/business. But he liked you. He's really so similar to Astarion (it's nothing, you're just the only person I've ever truly cared for); he's just already a touch too far gone in his power hungry search for security. He's already repeated the cycle, years and years ago with Karlach as the main example and just the inevitability of being Bane's Chosen. And yet - Durge comes marching through the door again with this band of misfits and his old lackey he wronged, and he's willing to make a true bargain.

And I know it's just in Gortash's character to scheme, but l think playing as reformed Durge makes Gortash's potential deal all the more devastating, since he will truly follow through on his word (or, at least he would.)

It's so funny to show up dating Astarion or Shadowheart, and imagine them teasing you later that night, saying they thought you'd have better taste. Or the bitterness of being with Karlach, knowing that you seemed to be in such deep kahoots. And so on. The point is not valuing that past relationship with Gortash. Focusing on the shiny and new.

And like whatever. Gortash isn't ever going to publicly present that his feelings are hurt but like... wouldn't they? Your past lover or at the very least, only close friend struts in, now thinking they're some big shot, so beyond everything you two had ever done... when you always lived in their shadow beforehand, frankly. Gortash adores how this flawless plan was majorly Durge's, critiques Orin's sloppy manner of filling your place, how Ketheric was just a means to an end. But he liked you. The person who helped him raid Mephistopheles' vault, in turn helping him spit not only in the arch devil's face, but his past captor, Raphael's too (since Raph lives chronically in the shadow of his father, imo.) The person who thought they could formulate and enact this whole plot, and the only one he was willing to follow, to be an equal with, now coming to tell him what everyone always does, inevitably.

A final fuck you, or some form of betrayal, the same thing that caused his mess all those years ago when sold off to that warlock.

It would have to hurt, and while it's funny to imagine my little gnome Durge dying inside and cackling to the party about sleeping with an enemy and technically being the enemy... a little obssessed at the angst you could perceive of Gortash somehow falling for any crazy Bhaalspawn, nonetheless Durge, who was never one for morals, coming back renewed and not to come get him or work things out... but to slay him or turn against him. I'd send the Steelwatchers after our asses too.

In conclusion, Gortash, probably:

sigh. my bias against greasy little guys could never truly make me hate you, enver gortash. look at you, the man that you are.

[rotyolk]

нoiнoiнoiнoi-san

[rustic-space-fiddle]

Listened to Hadestown again on my drive today. How did Eurydice remember flowers under her feet during “Flowers”? It had been so long since spring she didn’t even- oh. She wasn’t remembering real flowers. Just the way Orpheus made her feel when she was with him.

[salethe2]

Okay, so instead of sleeping, I'm here writing this, but I just had to share my thoughts on episode 7 and the relationship between Armand and Louis.

I'll probably need to rewatch the episode a few more times to fully grasp everything and maybe make another post but wow—episode 7 was absolutely devastating.

Okay, so starting with Louis… Honestly, I can’t even be mad at Louis anymore. Initially, I was yelling at my screen, wondering if he was just blind. Armand’s manipulations have become so blatant, yet Louis doesn’t seem to notice. Watching this episode, seeing how Daniel doesn’t even get angry or judge Louis or get angry at Armand like he did last episode—it hit me. Louis probably knows deep down that Armand is behind everything, but he’s in denial. Because, as twisted as Armand is, Louis feels he’s all he’s got left. And I think Daniel starts to see this towards the end of the episode. Sure, he still states the facts, as a journalist does, and makes it obvious that he knows Armand is hiding things, but he doesn’t call Armand a liar like he did last episode, he just listens, and is calm because what else can he do?

Not only is there manipulation going on from Armand, but Louis also remembers and tells the story differently from how it happened as a coping mechanism. Because as much as I’d like to blame Armand on everything, the changes in Claudia’s turning, and his fight with Lestat were done by Louis, so he is very much lying to himself.

And what can Daniel do? What would Louis do if the last thread holding him was cut? Can Daniel do that to him? Does he have the right to do that? Would he cause him even more pain by doing that? Because as much as Louis is ignoring the obvious manipulation, as soon as it all comes to light, that bubble will burst and there will be no going back. At the same time, Daniel is not excusing Armand. I mean, the look he gives him in this scene is so telling. His voice is soft and almost surprised. "Wow, you saved Louis. How nice of you." But the way he looks at him, it's as if he's saying, "I know this is all a lie and you're the one behind all this, but I'll play along for now." I mean he could have easily just asked Louis if all of this doesn’t seem weird to him, driven that point forward more like at the beginning of the episode or last episode, but he just says “but not her” and that small sentence nearly broke the bubble of ignorance around Louis but oddly enough Daniel stops there, does not push a bit more. (I guess we’ll wait and see if this remains the same next episode).

As for Armand…I mean, I love him, and I think he’s a is brilliantly written character because he didn’t just isolate Louis; he stripped away everything in his life, turned his heart further against Lestat, and crafted scenarios where, even if Louis confronts the truth about his manipulations, he’s still trapped. Because what can Louis do? Abandon the only semblance of connection he has left? Lestat remarked in this episode that anything is preferable to loneliness for a vampire. Consequently, Louis would rather turn a blind eye than sever the last tie he holds. Even when Louis considered ending it all—something he already tried before—Armand wouldn’t permit it. Louis can’t even challenge Armand, given the disparity in their power. So, what else can he do!!

As for wether or not Armand is a villain, I can’t really say without watching the last episode, but I will say that know it’s easy to label him as merely evil and manipulative—traits he undoubtedly possesses—but I beg to differ on the notion that he feels no remorse. Yes, he’s orchestrated some truly horrible acts, even gave himself a front-row seat to watch it all go down, but to say he harbors no regret? I don’t believe that’s entirely accurate. I think, in his own warped way, a part of him believes he’s helping Louis, possibly as a coping mechanism for his own guilt.

As for what he did to Madeleine and Claudia, it was downright horrible and he 100% meticulously planned it all, still, I suspect a sliver of guilt does linger within him—not specifically for what he did to them, but for the essence of his actions and the hatred towards the loneliness that’s shaped him.

I mean, we have to remember that this is a man who endured unimaginable horrors even before he was turned, and has lived in solitude for 500 years! Lestat, at 150 years old, moved a man to tears by sharing his loneliness. Can you imagine the depth of pain, loneliness, self-loathing, sadness, anger, and a myriad of other emotions this man has borne for half a millennium?

This isn’t to say that Armand’s actions are justified—far from it. But it does highlight the devastating impact of loneliness on vampires and how it can profoundly twist their minds. For 500 years Armand has been alone and the only light he saw through that darkness was to take this half broken man, take everything he had and make him as broken as him to make sure he would always be his. Again, this does not justify his actions, but merely explains them.

All of this being said, the presence of guilt, albeit slight, likely twists inside him. Armand might reinterpret this feeling as ‘helping’ Louis, keeping him blissfully unaware of the harsh truths as a way to alleviate his own conscience. Kind of like, “I know I did this horrible thing, but there was no way around it, and I hate myself for it—for being this way. But I have to keep this man by my side for his own good and my own, by any means necessary.”

Also, just adding this, can we take a moment to discuss the lighting in this shot? Notice how Armand's face is partially shadowed when facing Louis, yet the side that's illuminated is turned towards Daniel. Honestly loved the lighting in this entire episode.

Anyway, this is precisely why I believe Louis DID asked Armand to erase those memories in San Francisco

And why he remove the torn pages from Claudia’s journals. Because he prefers a life of blissful ignorance over the agony of truth.

Of course Armand willingly, and easily went along with all of this because it keeps Louis by his side, so it plays nicely into his manipulations. Still, I do believe that Louis did in fact ask him to erase those memories. Does his consent to all of this make it any better? If anything, it makes it worse. This is a man so ensnared and without any escape that he’d rather erase painful memories—those that remind him of the grim reality of his situation—than live with them. And Armand’s mind is so twisted that he probably convinces himself it’s all right. In his mind, as long as he has consent, he isn’t doing anything wrong.

Anyway, that’s all I have for now but honestly, Louis’s only real escape now is through Lestat. Otherwise, he needs to figure out how to outmaneuver the master manipulator himself—because I doubt Armand will let go without a fight.

[theghostparty]

Quand Mercutio nous chantait "la vie est belle" Moi, j'y croyais...

This one goes out to the absolutely wild hairstyle choices they subjected Cyril Niccolai to during the 2010 revival.

[drenched-in-sunlight]

I gotta say I did not expect I’d love Miles this much, enough to look up shit like Secret War and Civil War II reading order, and worse, subject myself to Bendis’ writing of all things (he’s the reason why I stopped being a comic stan 5 years ago. I were a DC/ Superfam fan. You know the beef was BEEFING). Like, my tolerance of that dude now only stops at him being one of Miles’ creators. So that better writers can do the kid justice years later. That’s it.

Like, why is the “r u and Ganke together haha” a whole shtick that comes up multiple times during his run? It’s so annoying and painful to read. Miles can go around being paired up with different girls but the moment THAT question came up you know he gonna be super defensive and >:( about it which, eh, just does not line up with anything else happening in whatever story is happening at the time. At all.

The only silver of light is that Miles actually never says he doesn’t like boys, he just denies ever dating Ganke. Like, he could just say he doesn’t swing that way and the question would have stopped, but he doesn’t. So I know he be running around kissing the punk-est boy in the whole spider verse, ha!

Idk I’m near the end of Bendis’ run and some of it r good but a lot of them put me thru excruciating pain (cringe) so I have to complain about it.

Did I mention I were a DC stan 6 years ago? I were a DC stan 6 years ago so this isn’t even my first rodeo with white dudes writing weirdest things in American comic, but I just can’t believe I got dragged into this again because Miles blinks his bambi eyes on screen and makes me want to rotate him in my brain so I need to know the lore of him in every medium, apparently.

[feddy-34]

come get up, my baby

lewis hamilton/max verstappen | 2.2k words | completed | rated G

fluff, ice skating, established relationship

“C’mon, Max, I can’t,” Lewis says with a small laugh, glancing nervously at the ice. There is a small child doing some complicated sequence of jumps in the middle and it is making Lewis feel somewhat incompetent. “You can climb mountains and jump out of planes and this is where you draw the line? Ice skating?” Max asks incredulously.

surprise! it's an f1 fic! the 4433 brain rot is so severe i fear it may actually be terminal so more of these clowns is coming

link in the title above, go check it out!

[kyouka-supremacy]

Very assorted - and probably disorganized - thoughts on Akutagawa's immediate reaction on the night Dazai left the pm, since it's taken a pretty delineate shape in my mind for some time now.

I didn't use to have many strong opinions on how Akutagawa acted when Dazai left (although “unknown” uses as a concept of its own. Akutagawa disappearing, and no one knows where he was or what he did– until he comes back, but as a different man). That is up until recently, when I found this fic that described Chuuya storming to Akutagawa's place and all but threatening him to come to work the day after, and for all the days to come– and thus, urged him not kill himself. And I didn't think much about it initially, yet the scene slowly, unconsciously got ingrained in the bsd canon I have in my mind. And although one could fairly think Chuuya was spiraling in his own depressive episode that night, I feel like it's feasible to believe he'd still look out for Akutagawa. Not because Chuuya cared about Akutagawa in particular (at that point of the story, I genuinely think he didn't experience any strong feeling of any kind for Akutagawa, much less had a general good impression of him), but simply because that's what Chuuya does: he looks out for his own. He's perceptive enough to grasp that Akutagawa was but a kid at serious risk in that moment, and he's compassionate enough to go out of his way to help him, even though they barely knew each other, even though Chuuya himself was hurting like crazy that night (and perhaps even because that's simply what he does to cope with great distress and impending grief: keeps himself busy, tries to think of others before himself).

And there was, indeed, a very real chance Akutagawa was going to kill himself that night. Maybe he wouldn't, for Gin; but I'm not even sure. Dazai was the man who told Akutagawa he would have found a reason to live in the mafia, and now he's gone, the man who himself had seemingly become his reason to live; what's left for him in life anymore, what's the point of going on?– is probably what he must have wondered.

In my mind, the Akutagawas only have had two houses since they joined the pm. The first one was a small but comfortable, nice apartment that was assigned to them by the pm right after they joined, their first proper house. The second, a bigger, more comfortable penthouse, they had to move in after Ryuunosuke completely destroyed their first one on the night Dazai left– caught up in that kind of uncontrollable rage that only comes from inhuman pain. That night, Ryuunosuke got home blind and out of reason. He asked Gin to go away, and when she refused to, he pushed her out of the house with his ability, despite having always refrained from touching her with it, despite having always paid careful attention to never use his ability near or on her. And as soon as she was out of range he started destroying everything with and without his ability, until he could see nothing but red, everywhere. And once he destroyed everything, once the only thing left to destroy was himself, he cowered in a dark angle and howled, covered in blood, unable to speak, hideous and inhuman, nothing but a rabid dog. And his scream echoed the one he released the night he met Dazai for the first time; and if that day he had experienced his first emotion, now he was feeling a second new, deeply painful one. Maybe that's when Chuuya had come in, and told him he was not allowed to kill himself; maybe Gin had called Hirotsu, and Hirotsu had called Chuuya, and Chuuya stormed in, and ordered him to come to work tomorrow. Because Chuuya is smart; because he knows that orders are something familiar for Akutagawa, something that can help ground him; because he knows Dazai is not worth killing oneself over. And Akutagawa didn't kill himself that night, and he kept hurting for a long time, but eh. Eventually, he'll be okay.

[scionshtola]

wip wednesday

i was tagged by @ghostwise last week and @redwayfarers today!

tagging @coldshrugs @lavampira @galadae @hythlodaes and @birues if you want to share <3

i've been thinking about rodeo au corishtola recently and finally wrote a little bit today. it is a bit. suggestive. sorry.

Y’shtola sat back, ignoring the way the steering wheel pressed into her back. The setting sun cast a golden light through the partially rolled down windows, falling warmly across Corisande’s face, adding an extra vulnerability to their open expression that tugged at her, at an ache she had not known she harbored. She pulled her hand away from their chest and cupped their cheek instead. “What is it?” She asked gently, not wanting to startle her. Despite the hesitancy, there was a longing in Corisande’s expression that she did not wish to extinguish. Whatever was holding her back, they could only work through it if Corisande shared. Corisande swallowed, and seemed to change her mind. “Nothing,” she said, her eyes darting to Y’shtola’s lips. “It’s nothing.” Y’shtola would not let her away so easily. She curled a finger under Corisande’s chin, lifting their face to hers, a hairsbreadth of space between their lips, but did not close the gap. “Corisande,” she said, gently but firmly, and a tiny thrill trilled down her spine at the way their eyelids briefly fluttered closed, their breath quickening against her lips. “Tell me.”

[sophfandoms53]

I wish Hazbin had more than 8 episodes this season bc 1) the pacing is all over the place (outside of episode 4) and 2) it would’ve been so nice to actually see when and why Alastor started to genuinely care about the hotel.

The pilot and the first episode of the show characterize him as sticking around for the entertainment because of how silly the idea of redeeming a sinner is to him but then episode 5 has him fully backing up Charlie’s wishes for the hotel and even tells Mimzy she’s welcomed to stay if she actually wants to try redemption and was upset she had put the hotel in danger with her presence.

I think that turnaround in Alastor’s perspective is so interesting but when did that happen? Why did that happen? How did that happen? What made him care?

He clearly still has ulterior motives, there’s 0 denying that given his scene with Husk in the same episode, but he does seem to actually care about Charlie and her hotel. Which can be connected to the leash Husk claimed Alastor is bound by but Alastor is also the most distant from the cast.

We never see him around everyone for more than a few minutes at a time. Everyone went out to the club in episode 6 but Alastor is nowhere to be found in the entire episode.

That bond with anyone in the hotel, even Charlie, that would explain Alastor’s sudden support in the hotel has not been shown on screen and I really wish the show had more time to do that.

That’s really what Hazbin lacks. Time. Time to slow down and just let the characters breathe. Everything is moving so fast because they probably didn’t know a second season was coming until later which I can understand but that also means the plot takes priority over the characters and a majority of the cast is suffering from it.

Angel’s the only character who’s gotten an episode solely about him and exploring, expanding, and developing his character and his bonds in the hotel are what we see the most. This makes sense given he’s the main guest in the hotel but no other character has been able to have their own character and arc be explored the way Angel has.

The show needed more episodes like Masquerade to explore the cast before diving headfirst into the Heaven vs. Hell redemption conflict. That was always going to be the direction the show went in but they needed so much more time to do it because there are so many characters to juggle and so much is happening. Big moments that are supposed to matter don’t hit as hard as they should bc the cast is overstuffed and everyone is fighting for screen time.

This isn’t the teams fault, they’re doing a decent job with the limit time they were given but 8 episodes is not enough time for a show this ambitious with everything it’s trying to do. Doubling the episode count to 16 would’ve done wonders for the pacing and the show could slow down and take its time.

A lot of what Hazbin presents are good ideas. It’s all interesting but none of it is given enough time because the big Heaven and Hell plot has to take a majority of the shows focus. I do hope season 2 fixes this but that’s also gonna depend where the show is going after season 1 is over. We’ll see next week.

My main wish for the show going forward is each character gets their chance to be explored just as Angel has.

[haliaiii]

Val’s Hover bike! (oc)

[punkishtoxtricity]

hi sweet tooth fandom chapter 1 is up!! leave comments or kudos if you want to!

[frankthesnek]

Unspoken

McShep, Rated G, first kiss, fluff, getting together

Post shrine. Because Rodney running to John's room meant more to both of them than they admitted. And they both knew it. (inspired by this post from @johnsheppard-assshaker)

John sat at his desk, staring at the cursor blinking on his screen. Mission reports sucked. Mission reports detailing the near death and stupidly risky brain surgery of your best friend? Those sucked ten times worse. He already couldn't get the images out of his head. Rodney's dazed expressions and awkward movements as his body and mind were stolen from him. Taking a deep breath, he looked to the ceiling, staring at the light there until dots danced across his vision in an attempt to chase away the thoughts.

A swift rapping came at his door and he shut his eyes, rubbing his palms into them in an effort to correct his vision. "Come in," he hollered.

It was Rodney. Alive and well, granted very tired looking and with a bandage still across his forehead. "Uh, hi."

"Hey," John greeted back and stood walking around to be next to his friend. "She released you? I hadn't heard."

The scientist humed softly, not quite meeting John's eye as his hand drifted up to lightly touch said bandage. He seemed off–nervous but not in the panicky way his nerves normally presented.

"Everything okay?" John prodded shifting closer and thinking the door closed.

"I, uh, this is awkward," Rodney started and cleared his throat. "About when I was sick, I remember a lot of what happened actually, and about that night…"

John swallowed tightly as a lump settled in his throat, choking him off. Yeah, he remembered too. Was trying really hard not to. It hurt, it hurt too much.

Rodney rushing to his room, pounding on his door, bursting in and holding onto him like he–John–was the only anchor left to his sanity. How frantic Rodney had been about waking up without him there. The unspoken things that had passed between them in that short conversation, that had hung high and loft above them as they sipped beer together under the stars.The evening hard and touching, intimate and depressing all at once.

"What about it?" John made himself say and he knew it came out tight and froggy.

"I'm sorry for how I acted, for running here and– I mean because that was ridiculous, right? Acting like that, like you were–" he drifted off, the last few words being spoken softer, sadder as he lost momentum.

"No," John rebuffed quickly, taking a half step closer. He wanted to reach out to grip Rodney's shoulders just like he had that night. Wanted to say so many of those unspoken things, but he didn't know how.

Rodney met his eyes, and John knew he didn't have to say anything. He couldn't pretend like things hadn't shifted between them, and if the soft nearly pleading look in Rodney's eyes was any give away he couldn't either. So John did it–did what he'd wanted to that night and held back because Rodney had been sick and vulnerable, and it wouldn't have been fair.

Dipping in to kiss the other man was easy for multiple reasons. One because he was already so close; and two, because Rodney didn't put up a fight. Stood there and let it happen, meeting him halfway, head subtly inclining to John as he moved.

"Did I say something I don't remember that night?" Rodney asked when they parted. His tone was thoughtful, and John got the impression that he was asking himself the question more than anything.

"No," John supplied, bringing his hands up to hold Rodney like he had that night. Hands on his shoulders squeezing with reassuring and possessive fingers. "You didn’t have to say it."

"Maybe I want to," Rodney said back, but those were the last words said for some time as John pulled him in for another long deserved, well overdue kiss.

[novadorks]

finally finished orv after two years . . . what do i do with my life now