#would now be a good time to say that I don't entirely understand kinning

[bonefall]

Honestly? I was a certified Nightheart hater but you've made me come around: apart from the usual Misogyny in Warriors, I think if it wasn't for that and if the Erins realized he's driving his clanmates away I would actually like him. If him joining ShadowClan and proclaiming he was Sunbeam's mate behind her back was actually treated as a flaw and their relationship imploded, it could've been really interesting! Kinda makes me wonder how Dovewing would react to him, because I can see her being understanding until he critfails their conversation by going 'I don't think ANYONE suffered as badly as I DID in ThunderClan. >:(' <3 No king, DON'T make Dovewing revoke her speaking to her priveledges from her- king why, you forced her paws! She's walking away!!!

YEAAAAHHH MANNN!!!

It's COMPELLING!! They could have done something BANGER here! This drama is juicier than his silly little rotisserie chicken and if you can just wade through the Certified WC Misogyny(tm) then there could be a really fun character there!

Like, imagine a story where all this was on purpose;

Nightheart ruins all his own relationships, can't take responsibility for himself

Bramblestar, guy who ALSO does this, becomes his best friend... and uses him, too.

The only person he could bond with was the person who was a liar. The person who never told him no.

Connect to the part earlier where Nightheart lamented how his dead father would have understood then... he only likes the people who aren't really there for him.

How Nightheart defies orders, puts himself in danger, freaks his family out, and then he treats their concern and exasperation like hatred

AND THEN HE LEAVES

And goes to ShadowClan and thinks all his problems will be fixed

Forces himself into Sunbeam's life, in the MIDDLE OF A WAVE OF POLITICAL TENSION...

Sunbeam, petty queen, who can never say no ever, letting situations spiral out of control constantly to disastrous effects: "ummm"

Berryheart: "What is this?"

Nightheart: "HER BOYFRIEND!"

Berryheart: "What... that's-"

Sunbeam (SUDDENLY SEEING A WAY TO SPITE HER MOTHER): "MY BOYFRIEND."

But then this EXPLODING because he's looking for something to fix him, and she can't. No one can. HE'S THE PROBLEM

But that doesn't mean he deserves the TREATMENT that Berryheart gives him

And it all ends up coming to a head, with Tawnypelt sick of him, Dovewing laying it out that he's a tar pit, and Berryheart moving on him...

LIKE... He's REALLY GOOD as a kid who needs to learn to confront himself. He's fun as someone who makes things worse and has the absolute worst timing ever. The DRAMA... it drives me.

Isn't that what WC really is, at its best? A cat soap opera toeing the edge of being a political drama? You HAVE to have your messy, unpredictable little brats. That's the BEST

I'm gonna have a BLAST when I get around to him, man. I've got so many succulent little berries to work with here;

Dovewing revoking his privileges. Most damning thing in the entire universe is when she just gets up and walks away from you.

Having Nightheart have to examine that he's the problem in his own life.

And yet, he's in active danger, since Antfur is going to be dying in ASC instead of TBC, as a result of Berryheart's violent group.

Berryheart, in general. I've got ideas, man. I love the evil educator idea, I hope that Fringewhisker stays in ShadowClan so I can go with that idea of Heartstar spitefully making her the next educator.

Berryheart's got Don't Hug Me I'm Scared vibes, lmao. "Now let's all agree to never be creative again!"

And on that note... she survived the Kin, that day, because her executioner intentionally let her go. Looked over their shoulder, saw Berryheart swimming away, and said nothing.

The idea that Berry tells a story for sympathy about escaping, and uses it to justify her xenophobia, when it was a Kin cat who SAVED her life but she leaves that detail out... effervescent.

And that's not even getting into anything I could do with StarClan, with the last arc in BB ending in the end of Skystar, a shattered purgatory, and the quiet revelation that Ashfur had accomplices.

It's gonna be fun!

[useless-moss]

Getting back into my shenanigans and a 'Dagur working through prison trauma w/ Hiccup' fic reminded me of an old angsty idea @reallyprofoundkryptonite and I had for the Kin All the Same AU. Also nutmeg idea inspired by that one @evilwriter37 Heather fic. (I'm almost certain it was one of their fics at least-)

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TW: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Referenced Kidnapping, Implied/Referenced Rape, Rape Aftermath, Implied Pregnancy and Abortion

Characters: Original Trans Male Character (Magnus), Viggo, Krogan, Dagur. Other characters mentioned.

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The last few weeks have been... Hell, to put it lightly. The panic of Magnus' initial disappearance, followed by the anger and fear of learning he'd been taken by Grimmel, and then the fight to get him back. A fight that was doomed to be a bloodbath from the second the hunter dared lay his hands on Magnus. For rather obvious reasons, in retrospect. No sane person, or person even vaguely aware of the consequences, would reasonably try. And for good reason.

Viggo, Dagur, and Krogan saw Magnus as their own. They'd worked together to raise the boy, and they didn't tolerate their son so much as being insulted. Dagur has thrown men overboard for challenging what Magnus says in regards to the dragons he handled. He's struck a few idiots with an axe for suggesting the boy be used as 'stress relief' during some particularly rough weeks at sea. Krogan has outright killed a few men, his own flyers and Viggo's hunters alike, for similar reasons. One poor bastard thought it would be funny to grab the boys chest once. There wasn't enough left of him to even throw to the fishes, and Krogan's clothes were soaked in so much blood you'd believe they had always been that red. Viggo, ever the voice of reason (about 90% of the time at least), was less violent. But he's still fired men on the spot for making the wrong comment, even jokingly, about Magnus.

The battle, the raid of Grimmel's camp, had been a gory mess. A vague plan of action, but endless violence otherwise. Men had been ripped apart like paper or gutted like fish. Broken bones, charred bodies. Even Hiccup refused to hold back, letting the dragons fight however they thought best. Letting the dragons, for a few moments at least, sink back into their wild nature. Some men had bites taken out of them, courtesy of Krogan and Hookfang. Grimmel himself had barely escaped, and even when he had he'd been one arm and almost an entire camp short. Those that survived the attack would be permanently scarred. Permanently mutilated, and carrying the memory of violence they've probably never even imagined before.

Magnus wasn't in good condition, physically or mentally. He was blind in one eye now, a fact that made both Viggo and Krogan's hearts ache. They both knew what that was like, of course. The scales around his left eye that created a birthmark-like appearance, that marked Magnus as having Lycanwing blood like Krogan did, had also been flayed off. Cut and pulled. Separated from skin and muscle in a manner that was grotesque, yet neat. Showing Grimmel had drawn out the process. Broken bones that had begun healing wrong and needed to be painfully readjusted. Dehydration. The list seemed extensive, yet far too short, considering this was Grimmel who did it.

"Do you need anything else?" The voice is soft and smooth. Very characteristic of Viggo, but lacking the usual edge it carried. There's a pause. A moment of silent consideration, then a shuddering breath.

"Nutmeg. A large dose." The answer is straightforward, like Magnus has been thinking about it for a while now. Which, in retrospect, he probably has. He'd picked up a fair bit of Viggo's planning ahead habit over the years. And, of course, being the resident healer of the hunter's gave him plenty of knowledge.

The younger ones in the room, helping monitor and tend to Magnus's injuries and mental state, don't understand the implications. But Viggo does. It makes him feel nauseous and enraged all at once. It makes him feel guilty as well.

"... Grimmel..?" The question is asked by Krogan this time, in a clipped manner. Like the dark skinned man is just barely holding himself back from screaming and punching a wall in a mix of grief and rage. A simple nod is the answer, and then Krogan is storming out. Ryker follows. Viggo swallows the lump forming in his throat, and nods to Hiccup and Fishlegs. A silent gesture for them to go get what Magnus requested. Dagur and Viggo stick with the boy. Until Krogan's yelling grows audible, at least, and then Viggo leaves to try and help his brother calm the man.

Dagur refuses to leave the boys' side. He sticks by Magnus like a tick to a dog, fingers carding through reddish brown hair. They sit mostly in silence. There isn't much to say. No amount of comforting words or promises seemed to be enough. No vows for revenge felt right. The thought of telling the boy about his time in prison doesn't seem right at the moment either, and Dagur highly doubts Magnus wants to hear how his adoptive father had gone through a similar thing in the first place. It would likely hurt the boy more than anything else.

Krogan and Viggo returned at some point. Ryker left to go make some food and to give the immediate family some time. It's been weeks since they've all been together, after all. So they're given time to just be there for each other. Krogan, the man was surprisingly cuddly when he trusted someone, kept Magnus up against his side in a protective embrace. Dagur crowded the boys' other side, resting his head on Magnus's shoulder. Viggo sits next to Krogan, fingers lightly interlocked with the boys own as a reminder that he's here as well.

And when the bleeding starts, when it's clear Magnus needs his dad's more than anything else right now, they stay. They wouldn't dare leave, no matter how much the evidence of the horror their son experienced hurt. Their pain is miniscule in comparison.

[maironsbigboobs]

Any eol thoughts? :0

OF COURSE I HAVE THOUGHTS.

First of all, I know many people don't like him for understandable reasons. So if you are a Eöl hater (so valid) this is not the post for you.

HOWEVER I feel we are sleeping on the fact he absolutely slayed. Morgoth? No, Eöl is more goth. He wears his jet-black armour and his jet-black armour ONLY when he leaves Nan Elmoth and his face was 'noble but grim'. GOTH KING.

Personally I like that he is one of the most dubiously moral elves we have. We need more fucked up elves that are fucked up for reasons entirely unrelated to the plot - no oaths, no dooms, he's just like that.

Alright: serious and extremely lengthy thoughts under the cut because this got away from me, whoops.

Eöl is 'kin' to Thingol - I don't know if he would call himself Sindar (though the Sindar don't call themselves Sindar either, so...) but I think he's distinct from the Avari or the Nandor in that he was living among the Doriathrim until he's granted Nan Elmoth

Personally I think 'kin' here is referring to the fact that both Eöl (or perhaps his parents?) and Thingol were part of the host of the Teleri together, and quite possibly high status/close to Thingol, rather than them being literally related

Close enough that Thingol grants him Nan Elmoth for the price of one (very chatty) sword.

He invented a whole ass metal that's so freaking cool.

He was friends with Dwarves - IMO this is a point in favour of an Eöl who is capable of making friends and allies

I think he still had friends in Doriath too - I think it was Girdle and the city he was most uneasy with, I think he desired to live more like they had during the Great Journey. I don't think he visits them, though he might write.

Sometimes they visit him - but infrequently, with long gaps of time between visits, because what is time to elves - and then war comes, and leaving the Girdle becomes more and more dangerous.

I think he is generally, a stern and serious kind of man - strong-willed and proud

But he's also clever and creative and he loves the stars and the woods and wilds and forging; I don't think his life was absent of joy.

I also think he has a strong distrust of the Ainur. It's almost ironic - he thinks they are full of sorcery and trickery and malice, they are kin of the Shadow that hunted them on the Journey, one of them ensnared Thingol, who's to say what happened to their kin across the Sea, if they ever reached land?

It's unfortunate that he chose to live in Nan Elmoth. That forest is deeply entwined with Melian's power, with Song, with Shadow, with magic - it's a beautiful but dark place that only starlight reaches.

The paranoia and fear and distrust inside him festers. Perhaps he has good reason to dislike the Ainur. Perhaps he has good reason to feel paranoid. Maybe he just didn't vibe with Menegroth.

But Nan Elmoth - it takes what's inside of you and amplifies it.

For Melian and Thingol - that was love.

For Eöl? It's fear. It's hate.

Part of the appeal of Eöl for me is this. Nan Elmoth is such a gothic location (as in the literature).

The whole Aredhel/Eöl and Maeglin situation is SO extremely gothic I LOVE gothic lit and I love Sindar so JIRT actually wrote it for me personally.

As for the Noldor - well, I think his dislike of them is pretty valid. I think fanon tends to exaggerate the Noldor-Sindar divide but in Eöl's case he's stated to blame the Noldor for the coming of Morgoth. Of course it isn't actually their fault, but I think this is a pretty understandable emotional conclusion for Eöl to make.

He clearly still considers (as does Thingol) the Teleri his kin and he takes Alqualondë personally.

Now - Aredhel

I consider the Silmarillion version canon:

It is not said that Aredhel was wholly unwilling, nor that her life in Nan Elmoth was hateful to her for many years. For though at Eöl's command she must shun the sunlight, they wandered far together under the stars or by the light of the sickle moon; or she might fare alone as she would, save that Eöl forbade her to seek the sons of Fëanor, or any others of the Noldor

I think they loved each other. I think there was a period of time, in the beginning, when they were happy. They shared a love of the wilds, of wandering and a desire for freedom from authority of kings

Things start to go wrong as Eöl's fear of looming disaster deepens. He becomes more and more restrictive, quicker to anger, more paranoid and fearful

I think this coincides with Maeglin's birth

It's not foresight. It's not Nan Elmoth's Bad Vibes (though they don't help); it's the end of a path of paranoia and fear he's been on for a long time, fear he doesn't know how to deal with so he deals in the only way he knows

He fears for Aredhel as much as he fears her; if wives become of their husband's kin, would the Noldor come and slay her as readily as they might slay him?

Of course not, but he is not mentally able to recognising that

He fears her because - she is a Noldor, she may be a kinslayer herself, what if she turns on him, one day? Best keep her safe in Nan Elmoth, with Maeglin. She can't hurt him in his own house, surely, he thinks.

When they leave, he follows. By the time he catches up to them, he's wound with anger and fear and anxiety - he hasn't been anywhere other than Nan Elmoth and the Blue Mountains in a long, long time. He's in a city of Noldor, who he hates and who have good reason to dislike him

Side note but when he says: 'this land is the land of the Teleri' he's right. The Noldor don't have any more claim to it than anyone else, and until the Noldor & Morgoth came, the Teleri (or the Sindar & Nandor & Avari - but again, they just called themselves Elves) were living across Beleriand. Thingol 'allows' the Noldor to have realms of their own (because well, even if he didn't want to, the Doriathrim are out numbered and Intra-Sindar relationships are complex), they don't have magical claims to lands 99% of them have never seen.

I also don't think it's quite fair of Turgon to say Nan Elmoth would be destroyed/overrun without the Noldor. It's not as if Eol chose to have them as neighbours. He would be in Nan Elmoth whether the Noldor were there or not. They're there to defend their own lands, not Nan Elmoth, which just happens to be there.

It shares borders with Doriath too. Sindarin swords (and Melian's power) keep it safe too.

Continuing with Aredhel & Maeglin now:

I don't think he went to Gondolin with any intent to kill her, or Maeglin.

He wanted his son back (he seems willing, though reluctant, to let Aredhel remain)

It sucks that he seems to consider his wife and child some kind of property, but Turgon has to be reminded that Aredhel is his sister and not his servant so it's a zero point game here. I think this is more a reflection of patriarchy within Elven society (Watsonian) / Tolkien's own biases (Doylist) than anything particular to Eöl.

He is offered a choice: Live in Gondolin, the golden city of sunlight (that he hates) full of Noldor (whom he hates) and Sindar (who probably have little care for him either) or Die in Gondolin and the same choice is given to Maeglin.

I can't help but wonder here - if Turgon had permitted him to leave, would things have gone differently?

It's Maeglin he tries to kill, and Aredhel who steps in to save her son

This makes me insane.... accidentally killing your wife in your attempt to murder your son, after your brother in law has offered you a choice of a gilded cage vs death.

I am not sure why he doesn't say the javelin was poisoned. Was he asked? Did he believe Aredhel had died straight away, so it was a moot point? Was it out of anger? Or did he think they knew? Perhaps he customarily carried poisoned javelins, and thought Aredhel or Maeglin would mention it.

I do think he feels guilt - terrible, awful, all consuming guilt, but rage too, because who was Aredhel to deny him his right over his son? Other sons and other husbands she could have once he and Maeglin were dead. Who was Turgon to command him live in Gondolin or die? Turgon was not his king nor kin.

The Eöl who is thrown off the walls of Gondolin is a shell of the elf who granted Nan Elmoth. He is twisted and tormented by his own mind and his own actions; hate and fear darken his heart, not any curse or doom, nor any innate quality of him.

It's not a curse he yells at Maeglin. It's not a prophecy - it's what Eöl sees as the inevitable result of tangling with the Noldor. Clearly his fear and hate was justified - these Noldor are going to be his doom after all, and so will they be his son's.

Imagine being so terrible they invent the death penalty just for you.

Basically all of this is to say: Eöl is an incredible complicated and fascinating character, with insane Gothic Literature vibes that make me want to put him in a jar and study him

[rinwellisathing]

It's A Thankless Job: Part 11

Sentry leaned in, controller gripped tighly in his hand as the characters on screen fought, gritting his teeth as his thumbs moved over the buttons rapidly, Orin beside him, leaning back and biting her lip as the teen focused on her own character. Finally, the masked man on screen posed in a close up, frigid axes forming in his hands and a bloody finish saw the woman he was fighting decapitated, head frozen and then shattered. “FATALITY. SUB-ZERO WINS.” The game announced. On the screen, the masked Tiefling posed in victory. Sentry grinned and set down his controller. “Hey, don't take it too personally, I heard your deliveries are going pretty well.” “The sniveling meat-prey try to cheat us so often, slaughter-kin. But I don't mind it. My blade stays blood-slick with the squirming insides for every time they fail to pay.” Orin replied with a deranged smile.

Sentry nodded. “Well, good for you. I like the way your kills send a message, it's dramatic, it's jarring. I think it really scares people and that's what we need right now.” He clapped his little sister on the shoulder with a grin. “Tell you what, you can have your pick of any of the heads I've got in the downstairs freezer for your next art project.” The teen beamed and nodded her head. “Thank you, Slaughter-kin!” She scrambled to her feet and hurried from the room, long hair swaying behind her. “Well, enough of me being the world's best big brother, time to check in on the family and head out for the night.” Sentry yawned and stretched as he slowly rose to his feet and pulled his boots from their place beside the bed.

Sarevok was, as usual, notably absent from assignments. Sentry smirked when he entered the kitchen and noticed, of course the old man was pissed that Sentry was calling the shots now and likely even moreso that his dalliances with Gortash were giving the family more work than ever. The rest of the family, however, seemed as though they couldn't be happier.

Tomi sat finishing a perfectly portioned bowl of brown rice, chicken, and veggies, her phone open in front of her with a news story on the recent rash of murders pulled up. She was dressed in a chic white blouse and tasteful black slacks, her hair pulled into a bun and a beautifully fitted black jacket draped over the chair behind her. Sentry could already guess she was doing press work tonight. Orin was still in her red gym shorts and tanktop, a plate of pizza bagels in her hand, the sauce staining her mouth like a recent kill. Sentry decided to let his sister be creative tonight. He was curious what she would choose to do to find victims if she wasn't bound by lists and duty rosters. “Are you ever going to cook half the meat in the freezer chests?” Jackal frowned as he watched Sentry enter the room. “Some of us need to store non-humanoid kills, you know...some of us just want to eat some good venison...like normal people.”

“You exclusively target women, Jackal, that's not normal.” Sentry replied flatly, ignoring the question as he pulled a container of cold leftover takeout from the fridge and began to eat. “More normal than cannibalism. Father doesn't say nothin' about having to eat your kills.” Jackal shuddered. “It's fuckin' nasty.” “Actually, it's delicious, but then again I wouldn't expect someone who buys grocery store pre-mades to understand that.” Sentry rolled his eyes. “Anyway, you're at the pier tonight, try and diversify your portfolio a little.”

The drow glared, but turned and left the room to head to his station, muttering under his breath the entire way as he snagged his shabby, weatherbeaten coat from the hook by the door.

“Orin, you've got a free night, obviously we still expect at least three corpses, but you can get them anyway you want as long as they're fresh. Show me what you've got, kid.” Sentry grinned and pointed to his little sister. “So many possibilities...the little prey-beasts skittering about....What mischief can I make?” She smirked. “And, Tomi, obviously you know what you're doing so I'll leave you to that...now, Gabraela, I need you on call for Orin, Jackal, and I. Depending on what each of us are dealing with, we may need some muscle. Try and stick to the park so you've got that equal distance between the upper and lower city...And with all of the assigning done...” Sentry gave an exaggerated bow. “I'll be on my way.”

– Sentry decided to stop by Sharess' Caress to see if Wysp had some free time to plan. As he approached, a short young man ran up beside him, an unctuous grin plastered across his face. “Ah, Mr. Ojeda! I was hoping to talk to you about the try out...” He spoke up hopefully. “It's not a try out, Dolor, it's an initiation test and you continue to be unimpressive.” Sentry sighed, trying to brush past only for the dwarf to cut him off, stepping into his path.

“But I've got some exciting new ideas! Poisons, um...tinctures! Things to make for a very interesting ritual...the element of surprise as well!” He continued eagerly. Sentry gritted his teeth. This idiot spouting cult secrets out on the street, he didn't have time for this. “Listen up, you B-list Bhaalist: My answer is no. Take it up with the tribunal if you want to be one of us so bad...Oh, wait, you've never gotten far enough to impress them. Go figure.” The tiefling shoved past, leaving the young man looking stunned. “Ffion, you are a fucking saint for putting up with that kid.” He muttered under his breath, looking up at the window of the Elminster's Library room and shaking his head as he made his way inside.

Wysp was on stage currently, playing his lute dressed in a shimmering near-translucent button down in deep navy blue patterned in sparkling silver stars. Near the front of the stage, a blue dragonborn woman danced sensually, decorated only in silver jewelry. Sentry guessed Wysp wasn't going to be free an time soon from the size of the crowd, but he sat back to watch for a bit, leaning back in his seat as he reached into the pocket of his hoodie to fish out his wallet. The least he could do was tip his friend since he'd tried to visit him during work. --- “Did you hear about the owner of Sorcerous Sundries?” “They said he was murdered taking the trash to the dumpsters, I thought that shop was in a safe part of town?”

“Well, all the more reason Gortash has my vote. These criminals are getting far too comfortable coming into respectable neighborhoods.” Jaina froze as she overheard the whispered conversation from the quiet study area as she carried books for reshelving. Her brow furrowed as she itched to ask them why it only mattered in 'nice' neighborhoods. She was biting her tongue to keep from saying something, but she knew by now to keep her head down, mind her business, work to make things better behind the scenes. It did no good to get angry and get in trouble. She began to replace the books, covertly still listening to the patrons speak. Her hand moved over the spine of a book as she heard the words 'cult' and 'Bhaalist' enter the conversation. Her eyes fell to the title. “Regarding The Slayer”. Looking around carefully, she slipped the book into her sweater and continued reshelving quietly. With those duties completed, she returned her cart to the front desk and began to thumb through the most recent newspapers the library had received for the archive. One of the latest ones had an image splashed across page one with a blood red symbol splattered across the pavement of an alleyway, emergency services removing a body covered in a white sheet. The symbol was Bhaalist for sure, Jaina recognized it from her lessons on other faiths back in her days growing up on the island and accompanying her mother to the shrine of Umberlee near the shore. But what caught her eye more than that was a familiar face. Blurry and cast off to the side, but a young male Tiefling she vaguely recognized was talking to The Fist in the photo and as her eyes lowered to the article itself, she recognized his name as well. Rolan. Her friend's brother. Lia had joked about him all the time when they'd been in school together when Jaina had first moved to the mainland. She slid her phone out of her pocket and opened a message with Lia.

You: Hey, I just read about your brother's boss. Is Rolan okay? Lia: He'd never admit it, but he's a bit shaken up. Still, he's in charge of the shop now and his boss' will left everything to basically whoever his apprentice was at the time...Seems weird, but I'm happy for Rolan. You: Well, silver linings and all that. A storm at sea washes up the prettiest shells. Lia: Lol I guess so. Though I'm not sure I'll be able to deal with the ego trip once it really sinks in he's in charge of all those important wizard things or whatever is in the living quarters above the store.

You: I know this is kind of a messed up question, but do you think he'd be willing to talk about what happened?” Lia: He won't even really tell me and Cal, it's just the same thing over and over. 'I was stocking the shelves, I heard screaming outside, I got scared and hid.'

You: That's fair. Sorry to ask. Anyway, we should get drinks some time. Let me know when you're free! Lia: Oh, are you buying now that your husband is a big shot politician? You: Lol, we'll see. Lia: Joking, obviously. Jaina placed her phone back in her pocket and continued to examine the news story, determined to find something, anything, more than what it seemed to be. She was getting one of her bad feelings about this and usually she knew them to be correct.

---- The posh town house where the party was being held had a surprisingly cozy feeling inside. A fire crackled merrily in an old fashioned stone hearth, in front of which was curled a long furred Tressym, resting peacefully in the warmth. Book cases seemed to line every wall and the tasteful mahogany furniture gave the entire place a studious feel to it. Wyll thanked the smiling blonde Githyanki woman as she took his coat and welcomed him into the home she shared with her fiance, commenting how nice it was that Kroger was getting out there and meeting people finally. Kroger winced awkwardly at the way his sister spoke about the whole situation, looking like he'd very much like to sink into the floor. “Well, if you two need anything just let me know. I have to go rescue Gale from some very boring colleagues!” She beamed, blue eyes shimmering in the dim lights. “Thanks, Octavia...We'll let you know.” Kroger forced an awkward grin as his sister hurried off, collecting a glass of white wine from a nearby refreshment table on her way. “It seems like she's really happy here, and with her partner.” Wyll commented. Kroger gave a small chuckle and smiled a bit more genuinely now. “Well, believe it or not, for a scholar, Octavia has always been the most outgoing of the three of us. Our sister Lae'zel can be a bit abrasive, and I've always done best in small groups.”

“Honestly I'm surprised, you were very good at that assembly.” Wyll recalled as the two of them entered the main room, mingling with the other guests, most of whom seemed to be wizards and other academic types. He smiled that charming, winning smile. Warm and genuine, not at all a politician's smile, and inclined his head or waved politely when someone recognized him.

“That's work, I pride myself on professionalism.” Kroger replied, subconsciously dipping slightly behind Wyll as they walked, lowering his head a bit. Wyll caught on to his discomfort and gently took his hand, squeezing it lightly. “Jaina's the same way, so I get it. But I'll tell you what I told her: I think if you let people get to know you, you'd find they really like you. Not just the things you know or what you do for a living.” Wyll explained gently. “Heh...I'm afraid I'm really quite boring when you get right down to it.” Kroger brushed off the comment. “A...Anyway, over there.” He nodded in the direction of a man with greying brown hair dressed in a sensible aubergine sweatervest over a lighter purple button down. “That's Professor Dekarios, my sister's fiance. He's very well known and important in his field, with his support I think you'd corner the academic vote.” Wyll looked in the direction Kroger had nodded and assessed the man before him. He noticed that the man seemed enthusiastic about whatever topic he was discussing, but his guests seemed to be listening only out of politeness or a desire to cozy up to him. Further, Wyll could tell the subject had something to do with Kroger's sister from how the man beamed with pride and squeezed her shoulders happily as he spoke. As he made his way closer, he picked up the word 'published'. “Is your sister a writer?” Wyll asked, looking curiously at Kroger. “Sort of. She's a researcher technically, she's been compiling information on various Istik cultures since we were children and she recently attracted a fairly popular publishing company to invest. It's called 'The Practical Githyanki's Guide To Faerun'...The title was much longer, but Lae'zel and I talked her down to just that.” Kroger explained. “It's actually very informative and her field diagrams are quite charming.” “I see. Well, it's wonderful she's found someone so enthusiastic about her work. I think I should go over and congratulate her.” Wyll smiled as he approached the group, not speaking just yet, but listening as Professor Dekarios raved about his fiancee's writing. He noted a grateful smile from Octavia as she saw that he and Kroger were actually showing interest in what Gale had to say rather than treating listening to him as part of a job.

“--The chapter where she discusses the culture of Siren's Cove is really just fascinating, it's a place I think a lot of people haven't had a chance to visit and the culture and customs are fascinating.” He was saying, his expression vividly exuding genuine excitement.

“Siren's Cove? Sorry to interrupt, it's just that my wife is from that island.” Wyll cut in with interest. “Right! That's why she was so familiar when I saw her at Kroger's clinic! Her parents were some of the people I talked to when I was doing my research there! Thalassia...I should have recognized the name.” Octavia smiled. “I hope she's doing well.” “She is. Much better. I'll be sure and tell her about your book, it sounds like she would love it.” Wyll smiled. “Ah, your wife is an avid reader then?” Gale asked, he seemed eager to talk to someone actually interested in conversing with him as opposed to pretending to listen and nodding politely. “Books are her life. She's a librarian after all.” Wyll replied. “I think your collection is the only one I've seen that rivals hers. She would be beside herself in this place.” He imagined the excitement on Jaina's face if she could have a home like this, two floors and wall to wall with books instead of just the apartment. There was another incentive to win, with that kind of money he could give her that.

“Well your family should join us for dinner some night! It's been ages since I've had a chance to cook for a group...this whole thing is catered, you know.” Gale offered, voice brimming with excitement. Wyll got the feeling that being well respected wasn't the same has having a lot of genuine friends and he immediately empathized with this guy. He reminded him of Jaina in many ways. “I'd like that, and I think she would too.” Wyll smiled. “Oh, and of course you've invited as well, Kroger! And Karlach!” Octavia beamed. “Yes, the more the merrier!” Gale agreed.

Wyll smiled, nodding his head. “It's set, then! Just let me know when.” Tonight had gone well, he thought to himself. He'd made a real connection, better than simply hob nobbing with a voter bracket, he seemed to have made a friend, and that was something far more valuable by his estimation in every sense of the word.

[alex-the-otherkin]

Name: Fluxuates depending on what prounouns I'm currently using. Alexandra on more feminine days, Alexander on more masculine days, and Alex on more neutral days.

Nicknames: Anything works but I love space, nature, or special intrest themed nicknames. If your going to use gendered nicknames please ask my prounouns first.

Age: I don't fell safe saying my age on here, but I will say that I am over 16.

Special Intrests: Anything to do with the positive side of LGBTQIA+, Nature, witchy things, Psychology, Maximum Ride, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, what real life monsters would look like, stuffed animals.

Random Fact: I would really really love it for someone to nicknames me somthing along the lines if glitch or glitchy. Why you ask? Well, when thinking about my phantom limbs I realized that I felt that one of my eyes was red and the other bright blue. I don't know if the red cam from the vampire or demon kins and if the blue came from the werewolf or angel. It reminded me of a glitch colors, and since then I've just kinda wanted to use red and blue for all my oc's eyes.

How I learned I was a otherkin: Well. I had always felt odd, almost non-human my entire life. I often Imagined myself as diffrent animals, some from fantasy and some from real life. Most of everyone thought I was pretending and that I would grow out of it. I did not however grow out of it. To this day I still will feel wings on my back and am able to see them so clearly in my mind. Not only that but many more things alike. Apart from this I often feel intune to most animals, even making freinds with snakes and wasps. I have been a animal person since I was younger. I would be able to speak to the animals without any words. Some animals naturally flocked to me, well others took more time. However I was always ready to give all the love they deserve, no matter how long they needed. They also never scared me or harmed me like humans had. I was safe and at peace with animals. Eventually I started to wonder, Why don't I feel human? It was a tricky question. I often called people humans instead of people, as I didn't like being associated with Them. My parent didn't understand this but eventually let it go. I thought about it for a long time before I thought, maybe, just maybe I wasn't a human. I took to the internet when I stumbled across alterhumans, specifically otherkin. It instantly felt right. Like I finally found the last peice of a puzzle. Well, I'm still new to this I now understand myself A little bit better. (Sorry this was so long, this is actually a shortened version).

My Kin types: Angelkin, Demonkin, Vampirekin, and Werewolfkin.

Do I exsperience Phantom Limbs: Yes I do. I have phantom wings, phantom tail, phantom claws, phantom fangs, and phantom werewolf ears. Sometimes my wings will dissappear or feel smaller but the rest is almost always there!

Gender: Genderfluid

Prounouns: Switches between She/Her, She/ They, They/Them, He/They, He/Him, She/They/ He, She/Her, It/it's, and mirror prounouns.

Sexuality: omnisexual, Panromantic, Demirose, Polyamorous

Dating Status: Current not dating anyone

Asks: Everone is welcome to send asks as long as you don't go against my DNI or my boundaries. So feel free to send me anything ranging from a picture of your cat to a deep poem of your choice.

DM: Ummmm, this one is a bit tricky. It all really depends on the circumstances. Like your lonely and think I'd make a good freind? Absaloutly you can message me. You want to tell me something but are really scared to put it in a ask? Of course you can, as long as It doesn't go against my bounderies.

Touching: Only If we are really close. I am autistic and even the though of someone I'm not close with touching me makes my entire body cringe

Flirting: Absaloutly not. I am Demi-aroace (meaning I need a strong emotional connection to be romantically or sexually attracted to anyone) so I don't feel very comfortable with flirting. I am also under 18 soooo yeah, Absaloutly no flirting.

DNI: Basic DNI criteria (Homophobic, completely NSFW, Racist, cringe culture, ect). I don't have a super detailed DNI but I do block freely. The only thing I have to say is DNI if you are anti-otherkin.

Warnings: I have a tendency to cuss a lot, if your not comfortable with that than I recommend blocking the tag #TW cussing

[qunaributts]

Adventure Poll!

Previous Poll

You're trying to decide on an answer to Cooper's question when you realize that a thin ring of white roots have grown from the inside of the cloak and looped around your marked wrist. You look down at where the 'fabric' is draped over your arm, opposite hand resting atop it like you're holding a cat steady. Like with the emerald egg, you can sort of sense the presence of this cloak in your mind, though to a lesser degree.

"It's up to you," you say with a shrug that's not extreme enough to warrant the thoughtful riffle of whispers that shakes through the leaves of the mantle. "I trust Cooper with my life. And I really don't know anything about your world, or how your magic works. It might be worth it if Coop can help me understand you."

"Weird," Cooper says from across the room. You look up at her with a frown, confused.

"Weird that I'm asking its opinion?"

"Weird to hear you speak the language of the worlds Primordial," Cooper clarifies, and you realize in that moment that you haven't been speaking your mother tongue this entire time. "Not bad weird, love. Just never expected to hear it again, let alone from my closest friend. Can't decide how I feel about it."

You nod slowly, wondering again what had driven Cooper from the Far Weald and into this world, away from her kin, away from her language. It would be weird to suddenly be confronted with a piece of something you'd thought long abandoned in your life. And hand-in-hand with an artifact from that life you never thought you'd get to see up close! You hope it isn't all bad for Cooper. You hope that you've brought some good things back to her too.

The ring of roots releases its hold on your wrist. You look down at the cloak again. The leaves are green, and tinged with a little skeptical yellow around the tips, but it's not clinging to you, and it's not the violent shade of red it had turned when you'd been nervous about Cooper's true form. You think this is as close to an answer as you'll get.

"We give you permission, Coop," you say, and offer up the cloak.

Cooper is upon you with that preternatural speed, her eyes gleaming, her smile wide and sharp. She puts on her spectacles, hilariously sized compared to her face now. She cautiously, but eagerly takes the cloak off your hands.

"Thanks love! I'll--we'll be in the workroom of the shop. Let me know if you need anything!" she says, and then she's gone.

You smile at her enthusiasm, and trod the familiar path to Cooper's guest room. The exhaustion of the day finally catches up to you, and you collapse on the bed in a heap, dropping your pack on the floor next to it.

[monstersdownthepath]

Apologies for sending you an ask so soon after you answered my last one, but I've got a surge of questions lately. This time it's Quintessence - I know that it's extremely valuable since it can be refined into Potentiality which eventually becomes a mortal soul, amongst other things. So, understandably, making a Golem will get attention. But is any form of meddling with Quintessence attention-getting or could smaller experiments go unnoticed? And given its role, might such meddling be 'evil'?

Golems Automata won't get attention, silly! They're not animated with quintessence, they're animated by elemental spirits, mortal souls, or Outsiders (depending on what kind of Automata it is) bound into them! You're not in any danger of upsetting the balance of creation and drawing unwanted attention by making an Automata... well, except for one, I suppose.

As for the other portions of this question, it's very hard for a mortal--even with magical power--to alter quintessence in a meaningful way. Even the spell which manipulates it directly lasts only a limited time unless you pour even more resources into making it permanent via Permanency, and any big changes will often be undone by whatever power is watching over the realm. Tinkering with the quintessence that makes up the Outer Planes is rude to whoever is running that plane, but not especially evil.

Now, if you mean messing with the quintessence within a mortal soul, rather than the quint that makes up the other planes, THAT is a whole different can of worms. Toying with quintessence is like mucking with a computer's hardware and underlying processes; one wrong move or mistake and the entire thing can be rendered a brick. Imagine trying to edit win32 or physically alter a hard drive! Except it's a living being! You're better off turning them off (with a sword) and then on again (with Resurrection).

While the act itself is dangerous, it's not necessarily evil if you're doing it to, say, heal someone of an ailment that normal treatment cannot possibly fix... but I'm sure Pharasma and her kin would view such tampering as an abomination, and though you might have good reasons for it, you'd be arguing to justify altering a mortal's very being to people who're dedicated to upholding the rule of "Don't Do That."

No matter what reason you had, they probably won't be especially merciful to you.

[diary-of-a-would-be-success]

Yesterday was the saddest day of my adult life.

Hi future J,

I travelled on Saturday to surprise a childhood friend, G. I had not been as excited about anything in my life as I was on that day. It felt like I was doing the most wonderful thing I could ever do. I'm sure this is what it must feel like when mountain climbers have 2 more steps to the peak. I don't think I've ever felt that way before. It was like the most important thing I'd ever do in my life.

The excitement was confusing, I truly didn't get it. I was convinced I was done, sort of how dying people who must feel when they know they are close to the end of their lives. I sent a message to my next of kin and a trusted friend, detailing all my assets and how to get them in case I couldn't. I felt a little relieved after that. I felt like: "okay, I'm ready. I can die now."

But fortunately (or unfortunately) I didn't die. That's how the entire trip was...

...a rollercoaster of feelings

The next day was Sunday, the d-day. The plan of the trip simple. I had previously planned a 2 hours 'call' with G from 10am to 12noon. I was to go to G's church, tap her on the shoulder and "surprise". Then we were supposed to be together from 10am (when church would be closing) to 12pm (when she has to go to her class). Then I'll begin my 7 hours trip back to my house.

Perfect, right? Far from it! I got to her church by 8am, service ended a few minutes before 12 am and I didn't see her. She had not replied to messages or calls and I thought: "I've blown this, I didn't plan properly." I was sad. But I was also angry that she had not picked up or replied my messages even though we had a plan to talk that day. I stuck around at the church for a few minutes, then headed back to the hotel to get my things and leave.

But I didn't. She called a few minutes later, I didn't want to pick up, so I didn't. I packed my things, than messaged her to say that I came around and wanted to surprise her. She asked that I stayed, and I did, of course. I saw her at 4:30pm, we spent an hour and a half together and o boy, it was beautiful.

The beautiful thing is the fact that my old-time crush is sitting right there in front of me. I loved that experience. I don't want a relationship with G, I just like her. In fact, I realized later that I just like what she represents: my past, which in my head is more beautiful than my future.

Well, I went home, had a call from 4 different women who normally don't call me (which I thing is very strange). One of them was A, whom I had a relationship with in the past. At the end of the of call, I started thinking: "returning to a relationship with this lady might be best for me." I didn't understand why I felt so, I totally forgot how lonely and alone I felt in that relationship.

Anyway, I spent another 2 hours with G again the next evening. Talked about a everything, and went back home.

Yesterday was the day to leave, and everything about yesterday caused me sorrow.

I had the exact opposite of the feelings I had on my way to Abuja; I felt like I had just had the best moments of my life and I'm never going to have any again. I cried the entire 7 hours from Abuja back home.

But something good happened to me. I didn't bury the feelings and thoughts in social media, videos or work. I just watched them. Carefully. You know what I found?

1. It's all connected

I think there is a connection between my feelings for G, my excitement about visiting Abuja, and the sorrow associated with my leaving. Somehow, I look to the past to find beauty, and all I see in my future is responsibility (at best), or fears and risks (at worst). I see hope in the future, but not hope for me, no. I see hope for others, for my country, for Christianity. The reason I see this hope sometimes is because I know something can be done. I know even if only I play my part things will be better - my part is enough 'good news' for mankind, Nigeria and Christianity. But I realized I have no faith in my own future. I'm not looking forward with good expectations for myself, just work. And G is part of the reason I think this. On the first day we met, we were talking about why we had not spoken for years prior. "well, I thought, since you're now a lawyer you must be very busy, so I stopped trying to reach out." I said. "...but have you not heard that people make time for what is important to them?" she asked. "Well, I chose to believe that you were busy because I didn't want to believe you just refused to take calls or reply messages." I said, thoughtfully. "So you made up an excuse for me instead." She asked. At this point I could see her point: I'm making excuses for her because I want to avoid pain. There was a glow in her eyes at this point. I could tell that she was now convinced of what she had told me on my birthday a few months ago: I have self-esteem issues and that might be the reason I don't stand up for myself and request reciprocity from my relationships. "Yes. I guess." I said, and immediately changed the topic. The next day during our next dinner date, I realized that when I look at my future, I only see the possibilities that things might go wrong, and as a result I try to prepare for, and prevent that trouble as much as is possible. I realized that all my investments and savings are geared towards preparing for, or preventing future trouble. I think that somehow because I feel so connected to G and because I feel so free around her, I get to see my true self (in all it's rubbish) more easily when talking with her. She doesn't even have to point it out, I'll see it myself rather quickly maybe because I'm not trying to meet any standard with her. For one, she helped me see (on my birthday this year) that I had almost no self-esteem, that I rely on others for a sense of worth. She was right and I didn't feel the need to defend myself. That was a huge miracle. This is why I hold on so much to the past - that's where beauty is. My future is work, responsibilities, and more work. This is why I'm thinking my best relationship, my best friends, my best life are all behind me. That's why I always consider going back to bring them to the present.

2. I am wasting away

Another thing I realized is this: I am wasting my life. I am not doing what I can do to fix problems. I have neglected my responsibility to the world. I started thinking this when kids came up to me begging for food. For God's sake, why are there children begging for food on Tuesday morning in the centre of the country's capital, Abuja? Why? It was torture for me to sit there for 4 hours (while wating for my bus) and have them come one after the other and just stand next to me. Why is this allowed to happen during school hours? What happened to the Federal Government's School Feeding Programme? I know not all problems are MY problems, but this problem reminded me that I'm not solving my problems. I pay school fees for a few kids in school, but not nearly enough. I can do more. How do I know? Well, I don't work nearly as much as I can. If I work more, I can earn more, and then I can help more people. I'm lazing around with the gifts that I have received. Oh, and did I mention that I almost paid for 'company' during this trip? Yes. Almost. And it will not be the first time. Do you know how many times I've almost spent my money on a hooker. I've never gotten myself to do it not because of morality or fear of God, also not because it is wasteful. I have always ran just because at the tail end I start feeling uncomfortable with the idea. I often start the process and just when it's time for them to show up, I cancel. But each time my reservations are reducing, my determination is collapsing. I think I'm just 3 more attempts close to actually going through with this. It won't cross my mind again because of what I have learnt yesterday. But my point is this: I have the guts to consider spending money to get someone to do something wrong. While I looked at the kids, the thoughts bothering me were: these kids are not in school because they are hungry; meanwhile, my money, which I have worked hard for, and which I have received by the Holy Spirit's help, is what I'm about to spend to sponsor the proliferation of immorality. Money that can pay for ads to support a young person's legal and legitimate business was almost paid to keep one more person in prostitution. I am a total waste of resources. Complete waste.

These are good realizations.

I think so. But whether or not they are good, they are true. Also, they wouldn't have happened without three things:

This trip made it happen. Although it cost me the school fees of 8 primary school children, but I'd do it again if I can go back to last Saturday.

This realizations won't happen if I didn't meditate on my own thoughts and feelings. I need to do more of that. I do private retreats, but I need a lot more of that.

But none of the other two would have been possible without G. I don't think I'd take that trip for anyone else. I also don't think I'll be so vulnerable with anyone else.

I need a G in my life.

Another G. I don't want this one for the same reason why I have always been comfortable with just crushing over her: we are from 2 different worlds and it'll be too hard to find some middle ground. But it's not like I have any chance now anyway.

But I'm not going around looking for that. I'm more focused on something else now.

Here is what I'll do instead

I will focus my gaze on the things I have to do, on fixing the problems that I have been given and answering the prayers I have been placed here to answer. I will live like I'm a machine, like I am here for others. I will stop expecting anything from anyone.

Taking care of myself isn't something I will worry about any more. My singular hope is to find someone who will know that they have been sent to take care of me.

I will stop thinking about relationships, about people, about myself.

I will stop trying to fit a mould. I will be what I have to be, when necessary. I will fill the mould for the season, and change it when it's another. I will stop worrying what people think, how to please people, etc. Unless my desires, fears and concerns are directed by the Holy Spirit, I will not entertain them.

I will stop being me.

The time for thinking, worrying and expecting is past. This is the time for doing.

It's true, this diary has seen similar statements in the past, but it definitely has not seen a similar me. Because I'm done being J. Nature has had it's run, 30 years later and it's time for me to stop being myself, and just start being who I should.

[amiya-shirou]

Top 5 best Seaborn (+ honorary mentions if you like)

Not sure if I should include hybrids like the Abyssal Hunters so I limited myself to those who went more into the "Seaborn" side. if I included them, Laurentina would probably be 1st or 2nd, I love that shark.

The Corrupting Heart

One of the reasons I got interested in Arknights in the first place. An eldritch horror incarnate bringing doom to all of humanity, and yet at the same time so alluring (not necessarily in a sexual sense though it's an easy connection to make with the whole "consumption" aspect of it, but specifically in the "I stared too long into the abyss and now I feel fascinated by the darkness" sense). When you see all the horror "Skadi" represents, when you know the dire conditions humanity is in, and yet "she" starts to sing such a sad and beautiful song, as if "she's inviting you to join "her" kin? It's unsettling in the best kind of way. It's the whole Bloodborne-like aspect of "the Eldritch horror is actually moved by kindness, curiosity and a yearning for connection, and yet it's no less of an horror for this" (and now that I wrote this the image of Skalter saying "Oh, Good Hunter" like The Doll won't leave my mind). It touches all my strings.

2. The Endspeaker

Cutest little creature. The Seaborn have such an interesting way to be so "endearing" with their innocence and curiosity, but the Endspeaker in particular goes so hard with it. We already talked a bit about this: I deeply loved Amaia's last scene, it was so kind and intimate, something that really shines when contrasted with the badass, creepy atmosphere of Stultifera Navis; a moment of connection so intense that even a Seaborn like Endspeaker was deeply affected by it and seeked to understand all that Amaia was, all the emotion and kindness she poured into It. That CG when it evolved and appeared in front of Laurentina was so good, too. Until that point the Seaborn had only evolved into bigger, more unsettling monsters, but the Endspeaker was the first to reach beauty.

3. Izumik

Admittedly I'm not too well versed in the IS3 storyline yet, I only just read the 3rd ending and Mizuki's files to answer this ask so I'm not sure how in deep I can go, but... wow, there's so much to elaborate here. It seems like the endpoint of what I was getting at with Endspeaker - such a beautiful evolution, a good end for the Seaborn plotline in which they seem to integrate the best parts of humanity and can aim for the stars. Many times I felt like the Seaborn worked quite well as an equivalent for climate change (among other things) so seeing the potential timeline in which we reach co-existence with them and they free Terra from Originium, deserts and disaster, bringing back the abundance of nature, was a strong moment.

4. The First to Talk

I don't have nearly as much to say here as I had for the top 3, especially since it did nothing that wasn't done better by the Endspeaker, but it has the privilege of being... well, the first to talk. It's always cool to me when a monster characterized by its' evolutionary ability reaches a point when it learns even speech, but what really sold the Seaborn to me was how there was actually no trace of evil intentions in its words, which is quite noticeable when comparing him with Quintus by his side who kept going on with his "evil mastermind" talks. It's especially good because the reason it evolved speech in the first place wasn't for utility reasons (Seaborn had no need for it) nor to trick humans, but entirely so it could communicate with Skadi and better understand how to save Ishar-Mla. And the revelation about how all this time the Seaborn weren't attacking Skadi because they wanted to kill her, but to free their kin they thought were trapped in her body? Most of the good things about the Seaborn plotline got their setup here.

5. Alfonso & Garcia

I'm not too sure about this inclusion since in the end they never gave up to their beastly side and died as humans, but they're visibly part-Seaborn and I needed a good 5th place. I'm not sure I have much to say about them since I spent most of my analyzing skills for the many other elements I loved in that event, but they were a weirdly good part of it, especially their interactions with Irene, and how they focus on the "humans turning into monsters" aspect which is what the Abyssal Hunters fear to become. Plus I do like the whole "fallen hero" aspect of Alfonso, and Garcia was indeed the best vice-captain ever.

Honorable Mentions:

The Last Knight: I'm not sure I quite get his deal yet?

Hyman: a Sarkaz turned Seaborn is metal as hell as a concept. I'm curious about how this plotline will go.

[jenosavel]

I'm apparently much more optimistic than y'all. 🤣 Here are some of my thoughts...

1. I think Bree is going to burn the Order to the ground. Period. She's going to beat Nick to figuring out how to break the Spell of Eternity without dying herself, and in the final pivotal moments of pulling it off we will see a dream team of Bree / Nick / Sel doing it together, and likely backed up by Alice / William.

The Order is, quite frankly, evil. Not because of the people involved. Not because the Regents are bad. But because the entire concept is coersive, manipulative, and colonial. It needs to go, and both Bree and Nick are now firmly on that path as of the end of Bloodmarked. Sel is not on board yet, because he still is clinging to the idea that the Oaths are his salvation. Which... I suspect is an Order lie (as alluded to by Valec). As Sel goes through this coming demonia arc, he may finally come around too. Which leads me to...

2. I think Natasia will fail to heal Sel (or fail to heal him completely), but lay the groundwork for Bree herself to do it. I think that the current implied understanding of consuming aether increasing demonia is an intentional Order lie, and that the real mechanism is consent vs force. In the dream, Sel got messed up because he stole the aether by force, whereas in the forest vs Erebus he got healed + a major power boost because Bree shared that aether voluntarily.

Sel was afraid of it that first time, saying it felt "wrong," but I couldn't help noticing that his fears seemed to revolve around a very specific moral framework imposed by the Order, which at this point I don't think anyone should trust. The Order only cares about the good of the Order, not its component members.

I suspect once they figure this out, we're going to see some major cooperative casting happening between Bree and Sel.

If/when that boy does finally come to realize that the Oaths were not preserving his humanity, but rather guaranteeing his descent all along... There's gonna be hell to pay. I can't wait to see that transformation, and I hope that we finally get to see his begrudging and much belated "thank you" to Valec. 🤣

3. I believe Alice is not only going to wake up, but is going to wake up with power. It's worth paying close attention to William's wording here.

First, William did not say aether harms Onceborns. He said it was "not meant for" them. This scared him because the (naieve) Legendborn assume this means it will hurt Onceborns, but as far as the Order and the Regents are concerned, aether killing Onceborns would be better than SURPRISE giving them powers outside of Oaths.

Second, William did not say the aether was causing her coma, only that he didn't know what it was doing to her... but we might. The aesthetic description of her condition looks a HECK of a lot like the original casting of the Spell of Eternity as seen in Bree's bloodwalk, and we've already seen one healing of Alice leave her with permanent powers (mesmer resistance). So the question then is, will she gain powers as in permanent rapid healing, or as in something that looks like Gawain's abilities? The latter could prove quite interesting, as it comes with a built in credible cover story. Alice and William were already signaling that they might consider a Scion / Squire relationship, so it would be no stretch for them to pretend to have one after this as a way of hiding what really happened. Also... imagine Alice with Gawain's strength but not beholden to any Oaths. 😳 Unleash that girl already!!

I have so many other thoughts too, things about Bree's power, the Crown, what it might take to actually defeat the Shadow King, what counter strikes the Shadow King might make, the spell's dream realm... but they get more speculative and sketchy, so I'd rather wait and see.

I'm so looking forward to wherever Deonn takes us next!

Oh, and one last thing... I love love LOVE how Vera's bargain has manifested as its own kind of messed up, perverted version of the Kingsmage Oath. Bree doesn't need a Kingsmage now, because she has the gosh-dang SHADOW KING bound to protect her and able to sense when her life is threatened. 😳 Sorry Sel... You might be one-up'd there (for now). Though this will make eventually needing to defeat the Shadow King more... interesting.

OH! And one other OTHER thing. I believe we've already seen the Lancelot-Arthur betrayal and won't necessarily see a second one. Nick-as-Lancelot already hardcore betrayed Arthur (the real one) for a woman (Bree). It was artfully done there too. Real *chef's kiss.*

Okay, I lied. One other OTHER OTHER thing... Valec was born with gold eyes, like every other cambion. But now that he's balanced, his demon eye color only comes out when he wants it to and the rest of the time he has his regular human eye color. So if Sel were able to reach balance by some means... WHAT IS HIS HIDDEN HUMAN EYE COLOR??! I MUST KNOW THESE THINGS. PLZ. PLZ I'M DYING.

legendborn theories

So I had to take a moment to collect my thoughts after reading Bloodmarked and I have some theories on how this series is going to end:

I think Nick is going to sacrifice himself. In Bloodmarked, the scene where Nick makes the decision to not got with them, I felt was very pivotal and foretelling (in the 1st book he was taken, in this book he left willing). I think in the 3rd book he will leave them permanently. The scene where all 3 of them are in the bloodwalk and Nick looks b/w Bree & SEl, to me that read that he was tired of losing people and made the decison to do whatever it takes to not lose the last 2 people he cares about.

Nick is going to have a corruption arc/go dark. In th finale Nick says "I can't lose you; I won't lose her" and he ended up losing BOTH of them. Nick at the end of BM has lost his mom, his dad, his bodyguard whose been with him since he was a child, and now the love of his life. He's lost eveyone he has ever cared about. and I think that is what is going to tip him over the edge. I hope Tracy does 3 POV of Sel, Bree, and Nick since the trio is now scattered.

Finally, I think this book will end in betrayal, but this time a love betrayal. In the Arthurian legend, Lancelot betrays Arthur because of love. After Nick decides to not go w/ them, both Sel and Bree feel betrayed. They eventually kiss (its important to note that Bree is the one that kisses Sel; compared to in LB where Nick makes the 1st move on Bree). By then end of the book Nick does not know that Bree and Sel have kissed, or that Bree sacrificed her life/freedom for Sel who did the same for her. As far as Nick knows, Bree only has feelings for him. So couple w/ the fact that there is romance b/w Bree & Sel, and that Nick is mostly going to go dark, I think Nick may end up turning against them becuz he feels betrayed.

Idk im just theorizing here. I think Bree has something up her sleeve becuz I don't think she world dive in head first into a bargain like that.

I also think that Sel may get his humanity back but at a price (im thinking in terms of Zuko, he will have permanent marks on his face or something).

I think there may end up being a final battle b/w Nick and Bree. And i think there is going to be 1-2 yr time jump. (imagine that, having to fight ur 1st love, Tracy WOULD do something like that)

Alice will wake up becuz BM hinted that Alice may have root flowing through her, so I think she will heal but it may take some time.

Idk, let me know what y'all think.

[wrenhyperfixates]

HELSPJS MAMMON WAS MY FIRST FAVE HES ADORABLE!!! AND STILL SITS IN MY TOP 3 HES JUST GREAT and hell yes, let me rank my obey me faves from 1-7 with reasons because I don't have a life.

1. Levi - He's so funny, he's so skrunkly, he's such a mood. I kinda kin him and have a giant crush on him at the same time. i'll cosplay as ruri-chan for you anyday bbg 10/10 man

2. Belphie - he's hot now but he was a red flag at the start (thankfully im a sucker for villain redemption arcs, no wonder im a scara simp). Anyways belphie = scara they are the same person.

3. Mammon - MY FIRST FAVE, MY FIRST HUSBANDO!!!!! i love him sm you have no idea he's so precious he's so blorbo he's so !!!! i still simp for him but i find myself in the Levi/Belphie tags more often so I can say that he has officially been dethroned now 💔

4. Beel - LITERAL BABIE !!!! i wouldn't say im a simp??? idk he just reminds me of a giant puppy that needs to be protected at all costs and he's so precious 🥹 but those arms are literally criminal WHY. anyways, he is the definition of himbo and one of my favorite characters in the game

5. Lucifer - he's fine ig, i don't hate him but i don't understand all the simpery 😭😭 he's hot tho

6. Asmo - he's kinda annoying 🤡 like i get that him only loving himself is his entire shtick but CMON???? GIVE HIM SOME PERSONALITY PLS???

7. Satan - I literally don't know anything about this guy wth

Ooooo ok a very respectable list!!!! I shall now share mine 😌

1. Mammon: he’s hot and very openly simps for mc (tho he tries to hide it sometimes he doesn’t do it well lmao) he’s adorable 😫 I feel like the game low-key wants you to like him the most sometimes asdfghjkl I really do love how soft he is for mc and he’s pretty funny and yea he’s my little tsun tsun 💖

2. Belphie: yea he’s a red flag but red’s my favorite color. But fr once he works through his stuff he’s very sweet and very baby. he is my babygirl I love him I want to cuddle him while we nap pls

3. Levi: LETS BE OTAKUS TOGETHER MY PRECIOUS LITTLE SHUT IN BOY ❤️ skrunkly is exactly the word for him. Would love to do some gaming and anime watching with me. Probably very close to my ideal bf ngl-

4. Beel: YES HES SUCH A HIMBO AND I LOVE HIM FOR IT. also don’t necessarily simp for him but he’s so sweet and caring 🥺 probably gives the best hugs and is the most thoughtful out of all the brothers imo

5. Satan: interchangeable with Lucifer depending on the day but I would love to read and look at cat videos with him 😍 those may be his only two character traits but that’s enough for me lmaooo. Also he low-key has daddy issues. There’s something abt the way he interacts with mc that I just find hot tbh 😳

6. Lucifer: like I said, interchangeable with Satan. Probably the hottest of the brothers if we’re being honest 🥵 I feel like I don’t actually know much abt him but um yea hot. And he’s a good big brother… most of the time lol

7. Asmo: we would be great friends but I don’t simp him at all 😭 I’ve read some analyses abt his character so I think he has more depth than the game rlly showcases

Are you up to do the side characters?? 👀

[snatcher-no-snatching]

kiss, kin, kill: Snatcher, the badge seller, the moon penguins

Uhhh kin the badge seller deffo, aaaand... hmm. Tough choice, but the moon penguins all deserve lil smoochies so kisses for them, and I guess that leaves snatcher to perish once more. F

[a-dragons-journal]

If you really think you can get trauma from kids on tiktok calling themselves kin for their own fun and happiness then you don't need to cry to the kin community to validate your obsessive bullshit you need fucking therapy because you clearly have bigger problems than worrying about what a bunch of goofy teens are doing with some vague relatively unknown terms in their own ways without your personal approval

Y'know, somehow I knew I was going to get this anon when I posted that.

Anon, I need you to understand that at least from my perspective, it's not about kids having fun. It really isn't - though I can see where it comes off that way sometimes.

It's about the fact that it's become increasingly difficult, almost impossible on some platforms, to find others with experiences like your own because every time you think you've found one, it turns out that they're just pretending for fun and think you're weird and "crazy" when they realize you're actually being honest and genuine.

It's about the fact that more and more often these days, when you do find yourself in that situation, you're suddenly being attacked with classic antikin rhetoric - "you're delusional," "you're taking this too seriously," general bullying and harassment, and yes, "you need help" - from people and a space that you thought were safe. It does a lot more damage from people that you'd let your guard down with than it does from self-proclaimed "antikin."

It's about the fact that we created these words to describe our own experiences, specifically to describe our own experiences, and now because of people stealing our words, when I see someone saying they "kin" something I have to question every single time whether they're actually 'kin or whether they're someone who might very well attack me for actually being 'kin.

It is, in part, about the fact that sometimes what causes trauma - clinical trauma, I mean - is not necessarily something "big and obvious" that everyone would assume causes trauma. People have different thresholds for things.

It is, for that matter, about the fact that every single time we try to say "this is hurting us, please stop and use the words that actually mean what you're doing instead of misusing ours," we get immediately dismissed by answers like yours, anon - by "you're taking this too seriously."

Generally speaking, I take what people tell me in good faith - if someone tells me they're having anxiety spikes whenever they see KFF, I assume they're telling the truth unless I have evidence otherwise, and whether that qualifies as clinical "trauma" or not, what it is is suffering, preventable suffering. I do, in fact, agree that anon should probably see a therapist about it - not because it's something that shouldn't matter to them, but because it clearly DOES matter to them, and it's something that's harming them, and a therapist's job is to help cope with that.

But then, if one can dismiss that harm with "you shouldn't care this much, so it's your fault that you're hurt," then I suppose that makes it easier to ignore one's own responsibility for it, which is probably why so many KFFers use that argument.

Because again: it's not about "kids having fun." Kids can have fun in a way that doesn't actively drown out and try to erase an entire community. And I'm sorry, but something that by definition is integral to one's identity and sense of self is likely to make people upset when it's bastardized and attacked from all sides.

That was already probably more than you wanted to read, but should you be willing to read more, have an older post from me on why this matters so much to us, and my entire "kin-for-fun" tag which has both more constructive discussion posts about the matter and accounts from numerous individuals who've been hurt by the KFF phenomenon.

[plush-cakes]

What is Kinning?

I've complied a few descriptions of how I define each type of kinning! And my experiences with them! Hope this helps anybody who's confused !!

Another good source for this, with a more vague and non-personalized explanation of kinning (aswell as some terms) is here!

Otherkin:

Otherkin are people who identify as not entirely human. Some otherkin believe their identity derives from reincarnation, species dysphoria, ancestry, or as some kinda metaphor for something. Others think it's just weird brain stuff n don't think it's spiritual

(Where the term "Kin" came from, as people believed they were "kin"(related to) a type of animal/plant/mythical creature, for a better timeline you can check out this link!)

Therian:

A therian is anybody who believes or feels that they are non-human, animals in a spiritual sense. There are also others who think they have a physiological or physical connection, instead of a spiritual one. They're always a REAL animal, otherwise they'd just count as otherkin (so like, no dragons or unicorns, etc) They can either believe they are currently nonhuman, or were in a past life. This is a more specific type of being otherkin!

(This is how I am with cats, otters, skunks, and pillbugs! I have a connection to these animals that is really hard to explain outside of just 'I feel like I am/was one!')

Many people prefer to not use "kin" as a verb, as it can imply that kinning is a choice, or something they do, rather than something they are, so instead of saying they "kin [kintype]" they would prefer saying they are "kin with [kintype]" or just "[kintype]kin" So like. Instead of me saying I "kin otters" I could say "I'm kin with otters" or "I'm otterkin", this personally doesn't bother me and I will often use 'kin' as a verb

Fictionkin:

Fictionkin is a subset of otherkin. It's a connection, to a fictional character or species, they often believe that they are/were a fictional character/species now or in a past life. People tend to use the Multiverse Theory and Reincarnation to explain that!

Other times it's just described as well, kinning something fictional

Everything following will be subsets of Fictionkin!

Synpath / Fictionhearted:

You don't identify as the character, but you do see yourself in them or relate to them. Also used for when you have a strong connection to a character and treat them as a part of your identity, but you don't identify as them

Comfort Kin:

Kinning a character for comfort reasons, hard to explain but, viewing yourself as said character makes you feel comfortable in your own body, or helps you explore your own presentation.

Copingkin / Copinglink:

Basically you kin this character to cope with ur own trauma/illness. You relate to the trauma/illness the character went through/deals with and you see yourself in them so. You kin to help understand yourself better.

(I kin Mae NITW because of this, she makes it easier to explain my fears / worries, and the shit I'm going through :3c)

Past Life Kinning:

Past life Kinning is a semi-religious thing. It goes along with the idea of reincarnation + the multiverse. Bc you can past life kin over universes that are fictional. It is when you believe you are currently a character, or were a character in a past life.

Many Past Life kinnies have their own 'canon' that's different to the game/show/book/source's canon. They learn this through "memories"! Memories are hard to explain, because they kind of just,, happen! You can attempt to trigger them with stuff like tarot readings, going through the source again, pendulumns, etc.. but memories mostly jus. Happen.

I personally believe I was a few characters in a past life, but for the sake of this I'll only mention Wadanohara, as that's my strongest kin. My memories tend to be somewhat 'canon complient' (meaning they follow the source's canon) but.. there's also plenty of differences. Through a lot of divination and exploring more of my source, I was able to figure out most of my canon. It's really just a guessing game of "does this feel right?" I feel wrong talking about Wadanohara as a character, and not as myself, because her and her source are so heavily ingrained into how I understand myself, and I do believe that in a past life I was her.

TLDR; Past life kinning and getting memories is such a spiritual and personal thing that it can be extremely hard to explain.

The best I can tell you is that if you think you might be a character, start talking about them as if they were you, start trying to find what pieces of 'canon' feel off, or strange. Try some divination! (Like tarot readings, pendulums, etc) Just, explore around. Good luck ^^

Misc:

You might also see "Joke Kinning" or "Kinning for fun" and those are literally just "hahah look at this silly guys that's me /j" (but u still relate to them / use them 2 identify) and "I'm this character but I don't care ab spirituality I just am this character", some in the community are against this, but personally I don't mind (I do it lol) unless you're being a dick to people who take kinning seriously

I'm happy to answer any questions anyone might have !!!

Edit logs;

Added line ab kinning being used at a verb

Edited the intro to further emphasize these are MY experiences

Added a readmore bc this was long LOL idk why I didn't do that first

Added link to a timeline on the term "kin"

Not attaching a DNI banner to this but please for the love of god don't be weird, and read my DNI if you plan to interact further on my blog.

[thorraborinn]

1/3 Egyptian Religion vs Norse religionSo… modern racist Germanic Polytheists say that non-Germanics should not participate in this religion, based on their foolish and arrogant and hurtful racial ideals, whereas the nice Germanic Polytheists say that this religion is open to all. Specifically, they say that Germanic Religion is dead and gone, so it’s no longer a practice. Modern people of Germanic Culural Regions have no ownership over Germanic religion, because it’s not their culture.

2/3 I have noticed that Ancient Egyptian culture, or Kemetic culture, is also dead and gone. Modern Egyptians live in a very different culture from them, and, in my opinion, it is a good comparison to Germanic Culture. Specifically, in that modern Germanic descendants are Christian or Atheist, while modern Egyptians are Muslims or atheists, and nobody “owns” Ancient Kemeti culture anymore. Ancient Kemeti culture is portrayed as bad in Islam. Polytheism (shirk) is the worst possible sin. 3/3 Just as modern Germanics have no ownership over their ancestors religion, moder Masri have no ownership over Kemetic religion. Is that a good analogy? If bad, pleas explain to me why. Given all that we’ve said, how are we to see cultural appropriation of Ancient Kemeti and Germanic cultures? If a person with no connection to Egypt decides to incorporate Kemeti religion into their life, is that appropriation? What if it is aesthetics instead of religion, is that still bad?

Why are you asking me and not a Kemetic?

That sounds like I'm attempting a gotcha/accusation but I don't mean it as one, and I think that based on the way cultural appropriation is usually talked about it makes sense, but I don't agree with most discourse about cultural appropriation.

The way people on Tumblr talk about it, whether you ask me, a Kemetic, an atheist, or someone else we should all be able to derive the correct answer from a consistent, universal, secular set of understandings about culture and cultural property -- which is not just wrong, but a naturalization of the methods that nation states use to manage and neutralize Indigenous identities within their borders infecting the way we think about culture and identity altogether.

The reason heathenry is "open" is not that everyone who could object is dead. Common sense intervenes before we get to this point, but it would imply that the same people who commit a genocide could adapt and identify with the culture they wiped out. It would also make the entire heathen project self-nullifying. Heathens don't believe the dead are gone or that they don't have an influence or a say in things, even when we disagree with them. I don't believe that the decayed corpse of a dead culture is terra nullius, I believe it's where you bring offerings and make kin with the dead. Importantly, that relationship does not have to be one of mutual identification. My heathenry isn't the same as that of the dead heathens I exist in relation with (and certainly not of the dead Christians I exist in relation with, and I do exist in relation with them). But there are ways for people who aren't heathen to become heathen, which has nothing to do with their genetic ancestry, because that's just what heathenry is like, not because all the would-be gatekeepers are dead.

Most heathens are grave-robbing tourists. I don't think you've followed me for very long so you probably don't know that I have said so many times. If someone is guilty of appropriation of an oppressed culture and then they do all of the same things that they were doing before, but now with Scandinavian culture, the collateral damage of their selfishness is mitigated, but they're still just as selfish. I have an intense ever-present hatred for the way that heathenry has been commodified just as badly as if it were a corporate owned media property, and how most of it is just about making public declarations of how heathen one is by displaying shit they bought and/or publicly consume, as if trying to convince themselves that they are heathen at all.

We have to stop treating cultures as a resource that exists independently of the people of make it up, whose relationship to that culture is that of part-owners who have the right to extract commodities for symbolic capital and identity tokens. I respect the strategic use of this framework by Indigenous nations who interface with the state in order to retain as much sovereignty as they can, but it's only because of settler colonialism and capitalism that they're put in that position to begin with.

I don't know anything about Kemetism. I don't know anything about the internal dynamics of its people's identities. If I were interested in it, the idea of actually identifying with it myself wouldn't even occur to me until long after I did know those things. I think asking my Kemetic friends -- which I don't have, but obviously would have made long ago in this scenario -- would be helpful. I also don't know anything about modern Egyptians' relationship with Kemetism but I do know enough Muslims that I would not be surprised if it's a bit more nuanced than you think, and undoubtedly varies. I'm fortunate enough to have the benefit of a Muslim friend who's interested in esoteric subjects and pre-Islamic culture -- she's not Egyptian but she would certainly have more insight than I would.

The question isn't "what am I allowed to do with [culture]?" it's "what kind of relationship with [culture] is available to me on their terms?"

[who-is-page]

From my perspective, you don’t necessarily have to know your community’s history as bad or good to improve as a community. All you need to know is that you’re acting bad now, not the entire history behind it. For example, I know that our (the greater otherkin) community is fraught with people who insist on either gatekeeping other members of the community out because of certain issues, or controlling the language that *actual* otherkin use (if an actual otherkin wants to say words that aren’t entirely serious or aren’t grammatically correct, we should let them.), and that although it’s not necessarily *seen* as a big problem, the fact that a lot of people imply that you HAVE to have an explanation for how you’re otherkin isn’t good either. I know all of these need to be fixed, but at the same time I don’t know *why* these are a part of the community.

As for your quote… I mean, despite the fact that KFF initially took those terms from us, in their own community they use them to mean something different. And from their perspective, us trying to change their language would be as much of an imposition as them trying to change ours. What I’d prefer is if they could clarify that despite them using ‘kin’, their community isn’t the only community that uses those words, and that they could accept that Otherkin who actually believe they are who they say they are, well, aren’t delusional.

I can accept that this will take a lot of work, and maybe not even succeed. But I want to try.

We've seen exactly why it's important to know fuck-ups in community history in the otherkin and related community: because not knowing the history behind poor behavior can lead the that behavior repeating in avoidable patterns. P-shifters are one easy example, among others. Also, not knowing why these problems exist means that you don't understand what their underlying cause is and how to fix them-- gatekeeping has been a repetitive problem in part because of of how harshly and cruel people have reacted to otherkin and therians in the past, which spiraled into gatekeeping and respectability politics in our own spaces. The way the community's been working on that in the last ten years has been by fighting against anti-otherkin's outrageously cruel bullshit, and by trying to create more welcoming and long-lasting community centers, and by promoting "weird and proud!" mindsets. The language issue ties into ghosts of the gatekeeping issue. The explanations issue ties into therian circles, with how that started separately from the otherkin community and tried to enforce itself as separate for so long, which is why it's still considered a more "conservative" alterhuman community in some places due to old guard ideology. In order to solve a problem, you have to know what the components behind it are. Not knowing can cause more problems, or solutions that end up not working whatsoever.

But Anon, I think you're completely missing the fact that they... stole terminology, twisted it into meaning things that it never meant for the sake of extremely malicious mockery, forgot that the original intention was mockery, and are still refusing to stop using the terminology that they took and misdefined, and they are now spreading that misdefined term as fact and erasing us entirely. There is no way to salvage this situation. Throw the whole suitcase out, because the entire thing is fucking noxious.