#would be awesome if its the lizard hand too

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

hello mark winters suffering brother in ARMS. i bring you more mark winters suffering because i keep thinking about the heat lamp. trickster giving him a heat lamp js SO fucked up but imagine how furious he’d be about it. Sometimes the trickster is gone for hours and fucking hours and everything is peaceful in despair and he’s so warm. he’s *relaxed* against his will. a lil puddle. the trickster is careful about the type of heat lamp and glass and air flow so he doesnt even get to have his paranoia about melting to death he just kinda. sits there and and the heat melts into him and soothes all his sore and angry muscles. and then suddenly everything is fucking COLD and now hes slow. The trickster comes back and taps the glass. laughs at him. The glass goes soft like taffy abd mark *could* push his way out he *could* escape. but his limbs are too slow to respond and the glass is hardened again before he can reach it. the MOMENT the trickster learns hes actually sensitive to temperature i think his life gets a lot worse

- @suckinitup

GOD DUDE I COULD NOT HAVE PICKED A WORSE NIGHT TO GO TO BED EARLY. I MISSED SO MUCH MARK WINTERS TORTURE ‼️‼️‼️ doing the predator handshake w you forever

I looooove making him sensitive to temperature changes. why else would he wear Basically Winter Gear as his villain outfit!! that big coat with the fur collar is not just for looks it is for WARMTH.

anyway yeagh heat lamp...... I have been thinking about bug jar mark winters for hours now. GOING 2 pick up that jar and shake him around. man isn't that Just Like the trickster to give him something good just so it can be warped into something horrible !!! yeah ashe I'll give you the power to protect your friends but also I'm not gonna leave and your meat puppet body is mine permanently now <3 ANYWAY. GOD. he's probably spent so long adapting to being cold out of sheer stubborn force of will to ignore the fact that he might not be fully human anymore. it's just something so constant to him now that it doesn't affect him as bad as it could. but you give him that comfort for an extended period of time... it's like. sitting in a hot tub for a long time and then immediately jumping into a swimming pool! the pool might be a reasonable comfortable temperature but in comparison that shit feels fucking FREEZING. uagughg. and tempting him with escape too... evil! I think he should get to the glass before it fully solidifies and push a hand into it (he's not strong or fast enough to break through) so when the glass completely freezes again there's a warped handprint that he has to stare at and think about how close he was to almost getting out!

[h31p-im-10st]

It had been a tiring few days for the group. Two of the three had had malfunctions of their suits and with no way to fix it, were stuck.

There was Jimmy the ten? Yeh ten, ten legged lizard, and Koki the scaly chicken with bat wings. That left Aviva to be the one in charge, and the only one with pose able thumbs. They were trying to find a creature pod, maybe one they could borrow from one of the Kratt children. If only they could find some human life, it felt like they were wandering in circles.

Their first sign of humanity had been a lone cabin in the middle of a maple forest. Koki pointed out how it reminded her of Nolan’s grandpa’s cabin, they had apparently called him once while he was there. Maybe if they were lucky…

No dice, no one was home, but the creature pod was, perfect! Jimmy could grab it and they could use it to find the bros and then the Tortuga. Aviva dreaded to imagine what Zach had done to it.

When Aviva did get her hands on it, she was filled with dread. Martin’s marker was working normally, he seemed to be in Asia, while they were in America. No that’s not what concerned her.

It was the lack of a marker for Chris, no marker, no idea where that Kratt brother is. Maybe they were lucky and the bros were together. They hadn’t had any luck like that in a while.

“Come on guys, let’s find a way to Asia…” Aviva commented, her two companions following her wordlessly.

No one dared utter out their fear, that the green Kratt was not with the blue. And if he wasn’t.

Then where was he?

The journey to the shore again had been tiring. About half way though was when the third Kratt team member had her malfunction.

They had been walking like normal, as they had been for several days, following the borrowed creature pod. They would need to apologise to Nolan when they were done with it. A growl had blocked their path, the growl of a mountain lion. And the lion was hungry.

It didn’t aim for Aviva, but did swat her away, nocking her face first into a tree. She became disoriented, but heard an all too familiar voice.

“No data found, no disk found, activating previous transformations”

Her body began to glow and shift, but she wasn’t focused on that, not how her two legs became four, not the tail, not the antlers. No she was focused on scaring off the lion, the one who posed to eat her friend.

She charged at it head first, just as it leaped for Koki. It was sent back, confused before snarling at its assailant. Aviva posed for another charge, but it was not needed, as the cougar bounced away, deciding the fight not worth the meal.

It was then when Aviva took a breath, and noticed her new, no longer human appearance.

“Tienes que estar bromeando” she mumbled to herself, frustration emanating from her speech.

“Least you are not small.” Jimmy whined, climbing onto her armoured back. “And you got some awesome defence with those antlers!”

“Gotta admit, you do look cool like this!” Koki tried to cheer her up.

“Heh, thanks guys, not really my worry thought.” She replied, walking over towards the somehow undamaged creature pod. “Jimmy, you mind?”

“Yeh sure.” He climbed down her leg, grabbed it and reclimbed her, as though she were just a tree.

“Onwards we go gang!” Koki smiled, her wings flapping ever so. “To find the, hopefully, de-transformed Kratt brother!”

[funnywormz]

Almost afraid to ask because I suspect there's lizard sex elements based on the posts, but what's threshold day?

the most simple answer to this is that threshold day is an annual star trek fandom celebration of the star trek voyager episode "threshold", the 15th episode of its second season which aired on the 29th of january, 1996!

but why threshold, specifically? a general answer is that it's because the episode is absolutely nuts. it's generally regarded as one of the worst, if not THE worst star trek episode ever (i definitely disagree with this, i think it's a genuinely good episode), but it also won an emmy............

a brief plot summary is that tom paris, voyager's pilot, wants to test a new form of warp drive technology which would enable ships to go at "warp 10" a speed previously thought to be impossible, which is so fast that travelling at it means you'd theoretically be everywhere in the universe at once. he ends up testing it, and initially everything seems fine, but then a few hours after the test he collapses in the mess hall and ends up in sickbay. the doctor determines that going at warp 10 has had an odd effect on paris's dna, causing it to rapidly mutate and "evolve".

throughout the episode, paris continues to mutate physically and mentally, becoming confused and violent and increasingly non-human looking. eventually he manages to bust out of sickbay and kidnaps the captain, taking her with him on another warp 10 flight. they then set down on a random planet.

it takes voyager a while to find them. by that point, both paris and the captain's dna mutations have caused them to transform into salamander-like creatures, almost completely unrecognisable as humans.

they also, at some point, had hyper evolved salamander sex and made salamander triplets.

the voyager crew takes paris and the captain back onto the ship, but leave their babies behind on the planet. a quick bit of (hand-wavy) genetic treatment by the doctor goes on, and paris and janeway are restored back to their original human selves. paris apologises to the captain for getting her knocked up while she was a salamander, and the captain responds by being like "ok but who says it's not the female that initiates mating in this species 😏". and that's the end of the fucking episode basically

i think threshold day is a thing in general bc the episode has some genuinely really cool elements and the practical effects are AWESOME, but also the last 10 minutes of it are absolutely nuts and easy to make fun of. it's like a perfect mixture of being good enough to be watchable but bad enough that you finish it like "what the hell just happened". it's also a popular day bc people generally view commander chakotay's decision to leave paris and janeway's salamander babies behind as a mistake, which i agree with. like what happened to them?? they're just there on that planet all alone???? did they even survive......... and if janeway and paris could be turned back into humans, technically the salamander babies are hypothetically human kids too and they just left them behind? SMH......... it's so sad............

ANYWAYS anon i hope this was a serviceable explanation!

[tea-plantz]

helurr!! i'd like to request a polyam with myc and andre finding out their S/O has a split tongue/ a tongue piercing? Its alright if you won't do my ask! If i'm being too vague thats mb this is like my first ask ever so ;-;

Hello honey! Don’t worry you aren’t coming of to strong or anything, and thank you so much for following! This was honestly a really creative request and I had a lotta fun writing it!

They/them for Myc (I was a bit unsure about Myc’s pronouns, so I decided to just play it safe)

He/him for Andre

They/them for the reader

!tw! Sexual language, slight NSFW content

[Andre Lee and Myc x reader with a split tongue]

Let me tell you, when these guys saw your split tongue, they thought it was the coolest thing like EVER! Both of them were swarming you, and totally swooning.

It was just a normal-ish day at Cognito inc. and you were taking selfies with Gigi for her insta. For one of the pictures you stuck out your tongue while holding up a pice sign, exposing your split. When Gigi saw, she shouted loudly, making heads turn, including your two lovers. “Oh my god, baby girl look at you! You have one of those split tongues! Damn honey, you are killin’ that oh krrr”

Immediately, Myc and Andre was by your side asking you to show them. You awkwardly stuck out your tongue and with a nervous smile. “Whoa dude, that is so awesome! Let me touch it.” “What-“

Myc probably already knew about this, since y’know, he can read minds and stuff, however he had never actually seen it in person before. Therefore he found it super cool and super attractive, seeing it for himself. You guys had a couple of… weird conversations afterwards.

“Can I stick my tentacles in between it?” “No!” “What about my di-“

Andre on the other hand did not know that you had a split tongue, and boy let me tell you, he was EXCITED! At first he was really curious, and asked you a bunch of questions about it, like how it felt to eat, how long you’ve had it, and If you could do any sort of tricks with it. Then after a while he started asking some not so child friendly questions. I mean, c’mon it’s Andre! And now that he is aware that his s/o has a split tongue, there is a LOT of other ‘activities’ he wanna try out with you, if you catch my drift.

Honestly it was sort of a mix between “holy hell, you look so fucking hot! What can it do?” and “I wonder what a bj would feel like”

Both of them are probably gonna make a bunch of dirty jokes about it, making you all flustered. And since they’re both complete perverts, they’re gonna get quite excited whenever they see that expression on you, red faced and all.

They probably also joked around, saying that you were secretly one of those lizard people, and that’s why you have a ‘reptile tongue’.

Myc and Andre are totally gonna show it off to EVERYONE in the office, with a proud expression on their face as they held you in front of them. These weirdos takes a lot of pride in you, and honestly, it’s a bit cute.

“Hey, did you know that our super sexy s/o, Y/n, has a split tongue? Don’t they just look like the most attractive person you’ve ever seen?” “Yes assholes, I know! You guys literally just showed me that like two minutes ago!” Reagen was just done at this point.

All in all, they both absolutely love your tongue, and they probably even fantasize about it too-

Okey okey, all dirty jokes aside, Andre and Myc are both really fascinated with your tongue, and they think it’s sweet with how it makes you stand out.

Sorry for not making this too long, but I honestly didn’t know what more to add into the hcs. And again, thank you for the request!

[reverend-dog]

The Thing in the Wall

“Oh, wow!” Kirsten cried, and stared into the hole in the wall. “Aren’t you a beauty?”

A pair of eyes stared back at her. Each eye looked to be the size of Kirsten’s head. Irises the color of bleached bone against blood-hued corneas, and u-shaped pupils, like a goat. They gleamed in the flashlight beam.

“What?” Chas prompted without turning. “Jesus, this place is a pit! I think even a ghost would have too much pride to be caught here.” She snorted. “Fuck the housing market.”

“Yah,” Kirsten agreed, “but it comes with a roommate. Check this out!”

Chas left off unpacking and turned. “Fuck me!” she exclaimed, and drew closer. “What a piece of work!”

The eyes dominated a face clad in scales, with horned ridges above the orbs and a lizard’s stubby muzzle. The head blended into hunched shoulders without the slightest concession to a neck, and arms as thick as either woman’s thighs framed a keg of a torso, hung with tufts of fur between mail-like scales. In place of legs, a serpentine tail curled round and round to support the rest.

The grotesquerie hunched just the other side of the hole that dominated one wall of the room. A tarpaulin had covered the gap, which Kirsten now held aside with one hand. The space beyond still sat bathed in shadow.

“Awesome workmanship,” Chas admired. “Movie prop?”

“Maybe Mr. Costello’s a sculptor,” Kirsten guessed. “But why would he put this beauty in there, then tell us it’s off-limits for renovation?”

“Shock value,” Chas postulated. “Probably listening for our screams.” She yawned. “Come on. Morning was already a long time ago, and we still need to make beds before we can sleep.”

The beds were as dilapidated as the rest of the old mansion, but Kirsten and Chas could not be asked to care. Around them, creaks and moans crept the halls, the sounds of a house neglected too long, easily ignored.

When the floorboards next to Kirsten’s bed bowed and complained particularly loudly, though, that served to stir her from sleep. She turned her head from side to side, then something nudged her shoulder. She opened her eyes – to meet the outsized gaze of the thing from the wall.

Kirsten’s eyes snapped wide, but she did not scream. Even when the thing’s head tilted and those eyes blinked, slowly, like a cat, and completely unlike a statue, she gave no cry.

“Why aren’t you scared?” A voice like silk, like the best salesman or television commentator, flowed from the thing’s muzzle. “Aren’t I scary?”

“For what it’s worth,” Chas spoke from her bed, hiked up on one elbow, “I think you’re magnificent.”

The great head turned, and the muzzle spread to grin with rows of sharklike teeth. “I’ve never heard that word attached to me before.” It nodded. “I could get used to it. What sort of people are you, that you don’t scream and run?”

“Horror fans,” Kirsten supplied. “We grew up on monster movies.”

The creature tilted its head, horny ridges above its eyes drawn together. “But I’m not some celluloid creation, a special effect,” it protested. “I’m very real, and more than able to tear you both to pieces.”

“Yah,” Chas allowed, “but if that’s your thing, why so polite?”

“Boredom,” it sighed. “My man rarely comes around anymore, at least when I’m awake. And until you two, all the previous tenants had the same reaction to my appearance.” Its eyes dropped to inspect the floor. “I – don’t handle confrontations well. Screaming, shouting, panic….” A shudder ran its entire length. “I tend to lose control. It’s very embarrassing.” It sighed. “At this point, I just want to go home.”

Kirsten and Chas exchanged glances, both certain what sort of “embarrassing” events probably happened when the creature lost control. “So,” Chas asked, “why were you playing possum when we found you?”

“I must have been asleep,” the creature explained, “or I suppose ‘suspended’ is more accurate. I’m quite inanimate except for the first hours of the day.”

“Like the Gargoyles!” Chas blurted. “Except they came alive at sunset. Say, while we’re being so friendly, what do we call you?”

“Of course I can’t reveal my true name,” the thing cautioned. “As fans, I’m sure you understand why. My man called me a variety of names, depending on his mood.” Its chuckle sounded like bones rattling. “I indulged him, perhaps too much. I think he forgot who was master and who, servant.”

Chas snorted. “Sounds to me like he figured it out.”

The creature considered. “You may be right,” it admitted. “I thought the benefits I provided would keep him loyal, but perhaps I misjudged. He must be reminded. But how? If he never visits while I am awake?”

Kirsten and Chas looked at each other again, and both knew the other’s thoughts. They remembered Elias Costello’s manner while he had shown them their room, the joke that only he knew. Shared outrage flowed between them, that for Mr. Costello’s complacency and the monster’s boredom, they would by now be undergoing digestion.

Elias Costello cursed as he pulled to a stop in front of the old place. Patrol units crowded the yard, lights flashing. An ambulance was there, too.

“Stupid fucking monster,” he muttered as he clambered from his car. “All these years of practice, you’d think it could handle another couple of girls. Fuck.”

“Detective’s inside,” a patrolman told Elias, and pointed a finger as if Elias needed further direction. Elias grumbled at the officer and trudged up the steps to the oversized front door.

Finely-honed survival instincts warned Elias as soon as he heard the door slam shut behind him. The red and blue lights that lit up the mansion and yard flicked out as soon as he was inside. No detective stood waiting, nobody at all. Elias’ phone buzzed in his pocket, and he dug it out and glared at the screen. ‘911’ read the number. Dread rose in Elias’ throat. He spun and sprinted for the door, hauled on the latch with all his strength. He might as well have tried to pull down the entire building.

His phone continued to call for attention. Hand shaking, he tapped the screen and spoke into the microphone. “Y-yes?”

“Mr. Costello?” replied an official-sounding voice. Elias recognized it from the earlier call, that had alerted him to a disturbance at his property that required his immediate attention, and dragged him out here at five AM. He now realized that it sounded familiar for a different reason, which became clear when he heard the same words come from the grand staircase that led to the mansion’s upper stories. He glanced up, and saw the two girls walking down the steps. One of them held a phone to her lips. “Thank you for arriving so promptly, Mr. Costello.”

“Think you’re smart?” Elias challenged, attempting bravado. “I don’t know what sort of deal you’ve got going, but trust me: you can’t trust that thing. First chance it gets, it’ll tear you apart. I’m the only one can control it, ‘cause I know its name.” He grinned his best salesman’s grin. “Let’s help each other, and we can all get out of here. Yah?”

Kirsten and Chas looked at each other, then turned and looked up the stairs behind them. Elias followed their gaze, knowing before he did what stood there. “Trust me!” he pleaded. “You don’t know what you’re dealing with! First chance it gets, it’ll swallow you whole!”

“I already had that chance, Elias,” the creature replied. “Turns out these young ladies are much more engaging and cooperative than you ever were. They introduced me to a novel concept, called deadnaming.”

Elias’ face blanched under his swarthy complexion. “No!” he cried, and followed with a name.

“They and I have already struck a deal, so your services,” the thing grinned a wide, feral grin, “are no longer required.”

As it dove at Elias, the monster cautioned, “You may want to look away.”

“Are you kidding?” Kirsten retorted.

“Yah!” Chas concurred. “We wouldn’t miss this for the world!”

[star-stream]

Bakuage 13

Im really glad that the crossover episode had a lasting effect on the team, specially Taiya. I think that meeting Speedor is a really good reason to make animal themed cars rather than just "well kids like animals and cars so". Its good!

Its also fun to see who does what in the development of the Boonboomcars... but also...

Of COURSE Chasshiro made AIs that dont trust easy. Of course. This fucking guy... Hes so funny i love him. Please open your heart.

Someone on twitter pointed out that this is the same house (and maybe same girl) that was keeping Tsubasa in the dog house, putting it here cause thats funny as hell.

Im glad you went through the trouble of showing Taiya pay for parking. For a moment after the Sanseaters turn up i was gonna be worried it would get towed but Taiya was on the ball so I could continue watching with no problems.

Why are you here Chasshiro? You love riding on the passenger seat, I see you. I think its fun how he was looking pleased right UNTIL Genba showed up, then he became suicidal. Im so obsessed with this dynamic.

If you did more informant work rather than going on dates perhaps youd be on the ball but i dont blame you. Continue.

This is perhaps my favorite shot of the Boonboom Killer Robo. Its so funny theres something about it thats just real charming. It looks like some kind of lizard perhaps. Maybe its cute cause its hands are raised like a red panda thats trying to look scary.

The Sanseaters were so good in this episode... Them dancing to this folk song... You guys are real nice guys, maybe just misguided.

Bakusage.... So cute... Chasshiro likes to curl up, Genba and Mira are halfway to laying down.. Jou is gone... so cute!

WHEN HE PULLED THIS OUT I LOST IT. I almost accepted it but its too ridiculous, where did it come from!!!!

Its cute that Taiya is trying to crank himself up by sitting in his cool car... It didnt work, but its cute.

Chasshiro went back and then immediately resumed this position, under his desk... This is way too funny...

They honestly struck gold with the Sanseaters, i feel like everyone immediately loves these goofy guys. Im smiling just looking at this picture. It was cute how innocent their individual requests were... Also, the way Genba softly spoke to them while he procured stuff was so good, hey...

Their transformation poses!!! So good, honestly Itasha killed it. Also, "Bun Aka" Yarucar is just a little guy... it was nice of them to give Red to Yarucar. Thats the rule of playing pretend rangers, you gotta let the little guy take red.

I LOOOOOOVE that the Sanseaters are driving the Robo. I was surprised i wasnt expecting that! Its finally Dekotorades time to shine, since he wasnt able to do much of anything until now when it comes to general chaos. Also the Killer Robo has such a cool design, look at these toys?! crazy good ones

This was Awesome.

I love the clawing motion for this finisher. I love when they do little poses in the cockpit.

LET THEM PLAY!!! THEYRE HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!!

[bagheerita]

I am a SO ready to talk Godzilla movies. I’ve only seen a handful of them compared to like the dozens I know exist-the more recent ones where they were trying to do Avengers but the big Monsties-but god I love them.

Admittedly Kong is seared into my brain because it came out at the Height of my Tom Hiddleston obsession-I even own it in dvd like I was that deep-so that’s the one I remember the best. And it’s the one I like the most because of the wide range of monsters we get to see. Big Buffalo guy? The skull lizards? Fuck yeah love my monsters wish more movies were monster movies lol.

Anyways, the others are more spattering in recollection. But I wanna ask, which of these movies is your fave, why, and what do you think of the empty core earth/godzilla goes into the center of the earth to recharge like Superman does to the sun? I remember finding that very. Odd? But ripe for interest bc in Kong they set up that whole. Under-earth world the skull things came from.

I've also only seen a handful of the movies... exactly 6 Godzilla/Monster-verse related movies (that I can recall anyway): the original Gojira and the original King Kong. And then Godzilla 2014, Kong Skull Island, Godzilla King of the Monsters (watched last night), and Godzilla vs Kong (watched today!).

I've only seen each of them once, and Kong Skull Island is the only one I saw in the theater (Tom Hiddleston obsession what....😅😅💚❤). Watching Godzilla KotM's last night was the first time I'd actually seen several of the monsters I already knew of through cultural osmosis, like Rodan and Ghidorah, which was very cool.

My favorite is hard to say. (I mean, to say the best movie would be easy: it would be Gojira, because I think it's awesome and perfect and very much a product of its time that said what it needed to say. But I feel like it's an entirely separate genre than the other movies I've seen.) I enjoyed Skull Island and I remember it being slightly better story-wise than the Godzilla movies, IE it made me care more about the human characters and they had better development and reasons for what they were doing.

Since it's the one I just watched I might say KotM is my favorite, just because I loved all the monster battles, and because there are apparently no locked doors in this world (Millie Bobbie Brown can just walk into Fenway Park, and also her family home that's been abandoned for months/years, without any keys or any problems). And also because of Charles Dance, who is a fantastic villain even though he looked like he was phoning it in and even though he didn't get eaten by a dragon (It was all I wanted... what was promised. lol). GvK was fun, but not quite enough to overcome the silliness of the premise. (like, come on, giant monkey versus radioactive dinosaur. who do you think wins? I did like that the movie turned it into a team up against Mechagodzilla/the ghost of Ghidorah.)

The first mentions of the Hollow Earth Theory kind of took me by surprise, so it took me awhile to get over the silliness of it especially the gravity inversion lmao. (Just last month or so I finished watching Sanctuary, which has its own Hollow Earth theory lol) But I did really love the concept of Godzilla's temple where he would go to recharge in KotM. (Too bad they blew it up 😭 Or did they?? Maybe Godzilla's temple where he hangs out can withstand nuclear blasts? 🤔) I love the idea that he would go to this place of ancient worship to rest and regain his strength, sleeping among the memories of when he was perhaps more literally a god. The whole "recharging from the center of the earth bc there's radiation" is whatever. The origins of Godzilla have changed so much to get him to fit into this new idea of him and his place within the world and what he represents, so... sure. The Earth is a hollow, Godzilla recharging battery. 👍

I really liked the development they did for Hollow Earth in GvK. I like that Kong's axe gets charged up by Godzilla's blasts. And I loved that when you see Kong's "throne," Godzilla is carved into the stones around the base of the throne. To me this suggests that rather than a rivalry, Kong and Godzilla have an ancient symbiosis: Godzilla is King Kong's guard dog... or perhaps "court wizard" in the sense of the archetypal magician, with the knowledge and power to comprehend a balance within nature that he then "advises" the "king" about. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I dunno but I think that would be really cool. I'd love to see more "monsterverse" movies with fewer human characters getting in the way (though I did really like Millie Bobbie Brown's posse wandering around and stumbling onto Mechagodzilla; that was a cool way to reveal that information to the audience). But more stories specifically about the interactions between these ancient creatures would be very interesting. In the special features for KotM they say that Mothra is the only female monster, which is kind of odd. I suppose Godzilla never really "dies" so he doesn't need to... reproduce in a standard-for-higher-Earth-life-forms way, but I'm pretty sure I remember Kong having parents in Skull Island, which I guess makes him (or his mom) an outlier if we're roping him into the monsterverse. Though the continuity for any of these stories is very loose (in KotM there are kaiju on every continent, but GvK is 3 years later and all of them... left? Everything's normal now. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you? And then Godzilla rolls up in Hong Kong and trashes it. There's one shot of a "kaiju bunker" or whatever, but no other preparations or any sort of contingencies for what to do if attacked by world-destroying monsters which last happened 3 years ago).

Anyway I hear there's another Godzilla movie coming out this year, and one called GodzillaXKong which I can only hope is the shipper movie we've all been waiting to see!! ;b

[kobblefort]

Rushsly: Almost The Bottom 3

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT probably I can't script this shit man I'm liveblogging this game raw it happens how it happens.

Ant people are back, and they're getting pretty thoroughly fucked by Ashan Plaguehole the Labyrinthine, or at least that's what it sounds like through the walls deep below the fortress. Cool. We'll check in on that again later

Even the deep-dwelling dwarves are astounded by the wealth we've accrued: we sell them the platinum goblets that feel too fancy to drink out of, they gawk at just how many gems we've accrued, how finely they can be cut. And yet we must seem strange to them, so endowed and yet so deeply unsatisfied. Most of our clothes have gone to tatters from overwear, our once thriving glass industry has been dormant for some time. It's nothing, we insist, it's nothing - but our eyes don't light up at the glint of gold. We seem sluggish, almost like we're moving at a low framerate, take a little too long to recognize jokes, and even longer after that to recognize them. We leave them with a great handful of gems we find unworthy to sell, and they thank us profusely. When all is said and done, we have a great deal of thread, new clothes for at least a few kobbles, plants of all kinds, and kobble get chease LOL.

Down below, it turns out Ashan can wield a spear, and does so with remarkable prowess: a wood spear is plenty sharp enough for its ends,

and so too for the ends of 13 ant people, a giant bat and a giant olm. I've never actually seen a forgotten beast wield a weapon before. It almost seems like it would be exciting to fight: a good match for our own Beast Slayers. But we can't take our eye off the prize.

From the other end of the second cavern layer arrives another bird (even though it has the squid icon lol,) a wren named Lidod Minesweats - probably a Dwarven name? Also I completely missed this when it happened, but Ashan apparently killed Ancoji Necroshafts, the lizard that finished off Fiva after his own encounter with the ant people from before, I wonder if a pattern is about to take shape here.

They head straight for each other.

Unfortunately, since they're both forgotten beasts, the combat log is unintelligible, but Ashan takes the wren the fuck down; not without taking some damage, most notably having an impaired ability to stand.

I forgot to look it up but this is an ankylosaurus apparently, so Ashan looks like this but green and with thin membranous wings and it's "bloated." We all on the same page here? Ok me neither. But alas.

Zhasrca Foldcounselled is way the fuck in there, near the very bottom of the earth, chopping away at the stone, only hitting granite after granite after granite. Then he finally hits something!

Just some more native gold. Just as he does, he declares himself finished for the day and tears off his busted old ocelot-leather trousers, hopefully to pick up a new pair on his way home. But interestingly, the gold wall is warm - potentially unsafe to dig through, since there could be magma on the other side. And then, up topside...

Well fuck.

The dwarves said they would leave a while ago, but hadn't yet, and so the fighting is mostly contained to them, but unfortunately, a craftsbold named Zirga Futurestrayed who was on her way up to chat with them was bitten. There's nothing for it, we're just going to have to expel her as soon as the fighting is over. Hopefully the dwarves actually fucking leave, but due to how long it took for anyone to pull the drawbridge up, two of them and a donkey are crushed by it. Awesome. People need to stop just standing there on the fucking bridge.

I have no idea how to parse this, but it feels like this guy Vucar could maybe sort of be bit? Considering how he won't fucking leave, it becomes tempting to just send our squads up there and kill him to make extra sure, but he's standing on a tile with two other dwarves who seem fine according to the combat logs. Ultimately, the problem is solved by just deconstructing the trade depot. And I learn as they leave the map that apparently one of them stole one of our platinum goblets. Not cool dude. Actually, that might have been Zirga leaving with all her horrible injuries, which... fair enough. You can have that. Sorry it had to be this way but the alternative was we kill you. And we didn't kill you! But if you come back in weregecko form there'll be no fucking mercy, not a chance. Whatever, threat over.

Progress is slow and frustrating down here: just magma walls with the occasional little vein of gems. Every little rattle of the alert tabs is a disappointment. Morion, pitchblende, heliodors, I don't give a shit. I just want the one thing. I know there's all sorts of other things I could have but I don't want them. More migrants show up, bringing our population up to 135 and our framerate down to like 49. They also brought a fuckload of animals for whatever reason, which is just great of them. Deleting the trade depot somehow handed over possession of all the animals the dwarves brought along to us...

and the underground pasture is starting to look even more crowded, so it's time it gets expanded. But hey we all love when things get expanded right.

Zil, still the angriest lil kobble in the whole fucking world, comes up and starts just digging with its hands, which feels totally unnecessary especially since Zil is the one who got its lower spine torn apart. Oh well go off I guess, who gives a shit, this isn't what I want.

Trying to dig one more layer down is a fruitless endeavor at first.

Up in the section of the fort I don't even care about anymore some dickhead makes a large gem out of green glass and decorates it with green glass gems and green glass rings. I feel like that sums this whole fort up. We should put it on a display stand outside so you can see it when you walk in, like "guess what we got in here."

I seriously can't fucking win dude

Gold, gems, magma, gold, gems, magma, gold, gems, magma it goes on and on forever.

More of these cunts, i don't care, drawbridge going up, drawbridge staying up. If you're in a hurry to step on a cage trap, then hurry up and do it already, otherwise go fuck yourselves and give Vakeek Malignreason my regards.

Welp so much for those fucking cunts wait hold on what the fuck is this

I've never seen this before. Is it about to happen? Am I almost there?

Do you fucking morons ever give it a rest I'm on the fucking precipice here

well the meat grinder awaits.

Oh not you guys too.

At least none of my own people are in danger here, but the Winged Voice left in a bad mood due to the drawbridge being up without considering why it might be up, and I don't like guests having to do our dirty work. There's such a thing as hospitality you know.

And honestly having to walk through this fucked up part of the trap hallway entrance is something I don't even want my kobbles to do.

Honestly whatever may as well get rid of these fucking pointless gems. Hopefully get some cloth and leather to give all the kobbles new clothes. It's not what I want.

But I don't know if I'm the kind of guy who can ever actually have what he wants.

[fandomout]

Part 3-Peter Parker x Reader NWH

Parts- 1 , 2, 3

Word Count-3,535

SPOILERS

TAKING REQUESTS

Basically, reader is there to help Peter (Tom) deal with all the chaos. Inevitably, they meet the other Peters, and they like Peter three a little too much.

After coming up with a plan with the Peter's, all that's left is to execute, but will it come at a cost? Is winning what they want?

Ned sets up the computers with Y/N’s to watch what’s happening and be able to communicate with the Peters.

Ned was passing the time trying to fix Y/n’s shattered phone with M.J pacing around. Y/N was waiting and worrying in silence, but they wanted to pick up spirits and ask, “You guys excited for MIT?”

Ned answers, “I would be if we were in.”

“Let's say you are.” He smiles and says, “The parties. I could get my groove on.” He shimmies a bit in his seat with his fist raised. Y/N looks at MJ.

“Even then, Peter-”

“Peter said they would consider him too.”

“I guess just to be with people who are more at my level and…Being with Peter and Ned.” She smiled softly.

“Sounds like the best. I mean all you need is the right people around you.”

M.J looked toward Y/N and admitted, “Y/N, you're really nice to be helping out Peter like this. I know he doesn't really have that many people around him, especially adults. I’m glad you're here for him and for us. This is all terrifying.” Ned nodded and added, “I always thought you were awesome sauce, but it’s nice to know you‘re nice with a hint of badass.” Y/N smiles at them, and they give them both a hug.

The moment was cut short as they watched the satellite they set up to watch the fight and make sure they could hear their headsets.

Eventually, they were having to open the portal. Ned did so quickly; however, there wasn;’t a chance yet to get the cube to one of the Peter’s; however, neither of them were much worried about hat after they all saw the Lizard gunning toward them.

M.J insisted, “Close it!” Ned tried and failed as he explained, “I’ve only ever opened these things!” Y/N pushed them away from the opening. They were at the end of the hall. As the Lizard jumped over to them, Y/N exclaimed, “Under the table. M.J and Ned crawled under the table as the Lizard jumped over, and it ended up crunching down the table, which blocked Y/N. Y/N quickly crawled out and to the right side of the room. However, the Lizard was quick to pin Y/N into the chemistry camber breaking the glass and wood. Y/N looked to see M.J and Ned had the time to run out of the portal and toward the scaffolding of the lady liberty.

Y/N let out a breath of relief before thinking quickly and grabbed whatever chemical they threw it onto him roughly. Whatever it was burned him, which gave Y/N the chance to jump and escape it��s grasp. Y/N quickly printed and jumped over a table before turning to rush the metal table toward the beast and pinned him to the chemicals which bursted on him. Then, Y/N ran with all their might out of the portal and shouted, “Close it!”

Ned rushed to try and close the magic portal instead, ending up opening the mirror dimension and letting Dr. Strange out. He flew off leaving them alone.

Dr. Lizard threw the metal table toward Y/N, which made them drop to the ground out of reach of it. Y/N shouted, “Mr. Connors, I see you're upset that I cut your hand off! I’m sorry! I burned you in my defense!” Y/N recovered from the ground as the Lizard rushed forward. Y/N took out their baton and clicked it to its full extent. Y/N swung; however, it anticipated the action and grabbed their wrist before slashing at Y/N roughly. The force launched Y/N off of the scaffolding. Y/N hoped this wasn’t it as they searched for something. Y/N caught sight of some rope and grabbed on, which caused terrible burns even with gloves. The burns caused them to let go and grab until the rope gave out and snapped. Y/N landed terribly on their back onto the metal surface of another scaffolding. Y/N groaned in pain. Their eyes grew wide when the lizard jumped down aiming right for them. Y/N turned on the shield and swung with all their might, but the hurt on their arm was lacking. Y/N looks above them to see it scratching at their shield. They struggle to hold their ground. Spider-Man's foot connects to the Lizard, which causes the Lizard to fall more below than they were. Y/N recognized it to be Peter two. Y/N rolled over onto their stomach. Y/N groaned as they stood up. Something had to be broken.

Y/N rushed ahead trying to get the cure for Peter three as it fell to their level. Their leg give out with a twist. They stopped in place, and M.J shouted toward Y/N. Then, Y/N threw it toward her. M.J ran, and they were able to cure the lizard at least.

Soon enough, it was just Goblin, and M.J was falling.

Y/N uses their weapon as a rope and connects it to the structure above themselves to jump down to get M.J; however, Peter three is faster as he catches M.J and lands gracefully onto the ground with Y/N landing roughly.

“Are you okay?” Peter three asked MJ. M.J nodded and answered, “Yeah. I’m okay.” Y/N looked to see Peter three frowning with glistening eyes.

M.J asks, “Are you okay?” Peter three nods barely able to speak. He let's M.J down, and she rushes off to find Ned and Peter one.

Y/N notices Peter three hunched over a bit with his hands in a fist. Y/N called out his name.

When he didn’t respond, Y/N walked closer only to hear rigged breathing. He gasped out for air, so Y/N could only ask, “Peter?”

He looked up at Y/N with tears framing his beautiful eyes. He gives a sad smile and doesn’t seem to want to acknowledge his state. Y/N sat him down on a fallen nearby rock. Once more Y/N questioned him, “Peter, what is it? What do you need?” He puts a hand to their shoulder. He tries to rise from his place; however, Y/N doesn't allow him as they use their hand to push down on his chest. Noting that they didn’t need much force.

He whimpers out, “I’m fine.”

“Oh, really? I know you’re from a different universe and all that, but I don’t think so.” He stays silent and struggles to breathe. Y/N keeps their hand to his chest and asks, “What is it?”

“Gwen…” He moves his hand to be placed over his heart. Y/N is sure his heart hurts with the thought and feeling his heartbeat aggressively to his chest. His hand lands on theirs, and he holds it firmly. He starts to sob, and Y/N pulls him into a hug. Y/N racked their brains and thought about how M.J was falling when the answer clicked in their head, and they blurted out, “That’s how she…” He nodded against Y/N. “I am…so sorry.” They were the only words Y/N could think of. He shrugs a bit in understanding. Y/N thinks about May’s death and finds themselves saying, “Peter blames himself…Peter…you blame yourself, but-I’m sure you did everything you could because…you’re Peter Parker. That’s something I’m certain of even if I haven’t known you that long. I know in my being that you did everything you could.”

“I-”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Y/N-”

“I want you to say it.” He calmed down by now, and he laughed at the command. Softly, he says, “I used to blame myself more. I don’t know if I’ve ever accepted how she died.”

“However, it happened; I'm sure it wasn’t fair. Nothing ever is…just know it wasn’t you that did it.” He seemed to really take in Y/N’s words. He was nodding his head and crying again, but it wasn’t sadness and panic this time. He looks up to Y/N with a smile and elation. He grabs Y/N’s face with the biggest smile Y/N’s seen on him yet. He gives Y/N a quick peck before removing himself, and he softly repeats, “It wasn’t my fault.” His mouth goes wide. He stood up suddenly. He still holds Y/N’s hand and adds, “I-I-I’ve never said those words. Let alone thought it-I-Oh my god. Wow.”

Y/N can’t help laughing a little bit at his manner and muttering, “Sorry.”

“No. No. Don’t be, wouldn’t dream of it. I-Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything. You had the strength to get there all along I’m sure.”

“Not without you. Who knew? Not only did I need to leave my universe for a very new perspective but I guess I just needed you.” Y/N scratched their head a bit in embarrassment. The peck is still in their minds. Y/N wasn’t sure where to go from there as Peter three’s gaze was burning them all over. Peter three looked like he wanted to say something important; he almost spoke it out until they heard a distant clunking noise. They look over to the edge to see Peter one fighting Goblin on Captain America’s shield. Y/N is sure Peter one is looking for blood. Y/N turns to Peter three, but he’s already on his way down knowing “himself”. Y/N tries following as best as they can, but he’s way quicker.

Y/N gets there as Peter two and three stop Peter one from making a mistake. Peter one seems to have accepted it, and he looks at Y/N. They open their arms to him, and he strides into their arms. Y/N held him liking to think they were like siblings or family to him as they’ve gotten so close over the time together. Y/N holds his face in Y/N’s hands and tells him, “I’m proud of you, Peter.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No. You did the right thing. You always do. Okay?” He smiles softly and nods. He motions to Stephan and swings away.

Y/N look to Peter’s two and two and ask, “You guys okay?” While Peter three responds, “Yes,” Peter two answers, “Mostly. He holds his stomach with Peter three holding up for stability.

Peter two asks, “What now? I know we won or whatever, but I can’t help feeling like this is it. Just me?” He looks to both Y/N and Peter three, which only ends in Y/N and better respond in agreeing silence.

Y/N walks up to Peter two checking his wound doing their best with what they have in their small first aid and mentioning, “I know you heal but still.” Peter three smiles at them and asks, “What will you do after this?” As they work on Peter two, Y/N answers, “Same old, probably. Fight crime. Watch the youngins…Peter is gonna need someone there for him. With his Aunt May and all this-”

Peter one came swinging down in a frantic manner, which stopped Y/N from what they were doing, and he suddenly said, “Y/N, I’m about to make everything okay.”

“Peter, wh-”

“You’re gonna forget me.”

“I couldn’t-”

“I’m letting Stephan do the spell.”

“What?!”

“It’s the only way. I should’ve let him from the beginning.”

“Peter-” He hugs them tightly, and they can’t help tearing up. Tears breaking loose when he says softly, “I’ll be okay.”

“I-”

“Thank you for everything.” Y/N grabs his wrist and whispers, “Don’t talk like that…”

“I just wanted to say it if I hadn’t before.” Y/N’s lip juts out before they give a small smile. Y/N lets out a breath and says, “You're welcome loser.” They both laugh out loud, and Y/N asks, “You’ll come back to me, right?” Peter one looks to Peter three and back at them to answer, “You can do whatever you want after this. I’m sure a Peter will stay in your life.” Y/N slowly nodded since they didn’t understand him too much, but they knew it was heartfelt. Y/N gives him a bigger smile and ruffles his hair before replying, “Okay. Ya, weirdo. I’ll see you.”

Peter one sends off his farewells to the other Peters with hugs and tears and leaves to M.J and Ned.

Y/N looks at both Peter’s. Y/N looks to Peter two and says, “Thank you for helping out. Sorry. You got stabbed.”

“It’s alright. Not the first time.”

“Been there. Not fun.” He nods thoughtfully. Y/N gives him a chaste hug; then, they look to Peter three.

At the same time, both Y/N and Peter three off their sentence with, “I wanted to say-” Both stop at the same time and look between each other. Y/N motioned to him, but he shook his head and nodded towards them. Y/N lets out a sigh and says, “I’m gonna miss you Peter-”

Y/N looks to Peter two and adds, “No offense.”

Peter two waves to them and answers, “No worries.”

Y/N looks back to Peter three and continues, “Never thought I needed another Peter in my corner…Guess this is goodbye.”

“You know, where I come from there aren’t any avengers. Why don’t you just pop up there? I could use someone. We have bread there too for you to throw.” He grinned. Y/N smiled and mocked, “Ha. Ha. Very funny.”

“I thought I was funny.”

“You are, but I also see you fishing for compliments before departing.” He looks down a bit sad and says, “I am happy I met you. Something about you was uh…right. It felt natural.”

“I get what you mean.”

“I’ll miss you. Well, I don’t know how all this will go, but-”

“I’ll miss you too for what it's worth now.” Y/N hugs him, and he slowly does the same. It lasted a meaningful long time until they separated. Tears forming for them both. Y/N raises their head to keep from the fall of tears and calmly says, “I’d stay longer but…”

“What?”

“I can’t watch you go.” Y/N looks to Peter two and corrects themself, “Watch you Peter’s go. Got a bit attached.” You look at Peter three. “It’s too hard even if I won’t remember after this.” A tear coming out. Y/N wipes it and waves sadly before using it. Y/N strided off out of sight to climb back up the structure.

The Peters watch them go. Peter three not letting himself miss Y/N until he can’t see them anymore. When Y/N’s out of sight, Peter three sighs and looks down in thought. He feels Peter two bump him, and Peter three asks, “Sorry. Am I holding you too tight? Does it hurt?” Peter two shakes his head no, and he says, “What’s really hurting is watching you.”

“Huh?”

“You said, Love wasn’t in the cards for us Peter’s…I mentioned we do. Me and Peter proving you wrong by having our M.J’s.”

“You’re saying this is my chance?”

“I can’t answer that. If you know you know.” Peter three grabs at his temple and says, “You’re right. What am I doing?”

“Go on. Just sit me down.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” Peter three sits him down. However, he doesn't move, ”This is the part where you go?”

“What if it’s the wrong thing? I mean it’s a bit impulsive. I only met them today. Their lives would change. I-”

“Go. Don’t spend anymore time regretting…Holding back isn’t for the best. I’d kow.”

“Okay. Right.” Peter three hugs Peter two goodbye and webs himself as fast as he can after them.

Meanwhile, Y/N was waiting relatively close to Dr. Strange trying not to think about any of it. Y/N looks at the colors in the sky through blurred vision as they cry. Y/N looks at Stephan, and he asks, “What is it? Are you that hurt?”

Y/N laughs, which makes them cry harder. They answer, “I think my heart hurts more.” “Sounds serious. “

“It’s just that P-”

“Not that I don’t care-Well, I don’t-I need to do this spell.” Y/N frowns and nods. Stephan sighs and pauses for a second to ask, “What is it?”

“One of the other Peters…I don’t want to forget them…don’t want them to go.” He sighs and shakes his head before muttering, “I may regret this.“

“What?”

“There’s a way to be together.“

“Really?! How?!”

“It’s really a collective decision.” Y/N rushes to the edge and calls out, “Peter!” However, he isn't standing where he was. Peter two sits there and points up. Y/N looks to him very confused that they don’t see Peter three at the end of the scaffolding.

Peter three arrives at the top throat dry and heart pounding in a way it hasn’t for long, and not since Gwen. Y/N doesn't notice Peter until he wipes away their tears on their right side with the back of his right hand.

Y/N looks at him and moves back in shock with an exclamation, “Peter?!” Y/N fumbled and tripped slightly on discarded debri. Peter webs them over, which leads to Y/N bumping right into him. They both laugh at the interaction, and he says, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He wipes Y/N’s face once more. Y/N looked down nervous, and he held their hand. Y/N uttered, “Peter-”

“I wanted to let it all out. Say the proper things.”

“I don’t want to watch you go.”

“Y/N-” He bites his lip trying not to cry hard. He continues straining himself, but a smile still on his face. “Y/N, I have never met a person like you. I haven’t felt this way for someone since Gwen. I will miss you. I almost don’t want to go because you're here, but I know I can’t.”

“You mean that?”

“No more regret. I just wanted to tell you…” He starts to walk away. Y/N runs over and almost like a tackle they hug him from behind. It surprises him. He turns to Y/N and hugs them from the front as he holds their face in his hands. Y/N says, “With everything that happened, all the tragedy and fighting and enemies, I still enjoyed my time because of you. To be honest, sometimes I don't feel like I fit in here, but it felt right with you. From what you’ve said about where you come from. It sounds like my kind of place.”

“At least we have now?”

“Let me come with you.”

“What?” He let go.

“You said it yourself. You need more help. I could be there.”

“I couldn't ask you to do that. You have a life here.”

“I’m gonna forget some of it anyway. There is plenty of help here. I could give another universe a try.”

“Are we seriously talking about this? If so, I’m not really too sure how we’d go about this. I’m smart but traveling through the multiverse is new to me.” Y/N looks at Stephan.

He rolls his eyes and says, “Ugh, you two are too sweet. I’m a bit sickened. Alright. There’s a way to make it happen.” Like puppies they stand at attention with glints of hope.

Y/N asks, “How?”

“If I send you to Peter-This Peter’s universe. You would know this Peter. You’d be ahead of the spell. This Peter goes back no matter what, but you’d be there. Then, you would know him in his universe.”

Peter clears his throat and queries, “Can we do that? I mean won’t it mess with time?”

“As long as Y/N doesn’t do anything too drastic with what they know. You’ll be fine.” Peter smiles gleefully and says, “Mr. Strange sir, if I could hug you, I would. Thank you.”

“No need.” Stephan says not interested. Peter looks at Y/N and states, “We’re doing this.” Y/N grabs his hand and repeats, “We’re doing this.”

Stephan puts a portal in front of Y/N. He stops Y/N and uses the time peace to get rid of the injuries. Y/N hugs him and says, “Thank you. I knew I was one of your favorites.” Stephan gives a small smile and says, “You’re usually less annoying.”

“Thanks.”

Y/N looks to Peter, “I’ll see you on the other side.” Y/N let go slowly and headed inside.

Y/N waits a few minutes before Spider Man is swinging towards them. He stops in front of Y/N in all his glory and scoops them right up, and they start swinging. In glee, Y/N hollers, “To be honest I always wanted to try this!”

“Fun?!”

“Scary too!”

“What’ll we do now?!”

“Doesn’t matter! We’re doing it together now!” They go swinging away to a new happiness. Universe’s restored.

@confuscita

Hope your day got better

Marvel Masterlist

Full Masterlist

[redroseinsanity]

Make your ex a bug (feed it to the beasts) - Daisuga

TW: Mentions of bugs and frozen rodents getting eaten, nothing gory but just in case!

Basically I found out you can do this for real, cackled then decided I had to do a drabble. Details below!

"You named a cockroach what?" Daichi asks flatly, his incredulity tamping down the urge to rub his temples where a tension headache is already forming. 

"Zach!" Noya chirps, puffing his chest out with pride, "You know, your stinky ass ex who-"

"No, I know who Zach is," Daichi interrupts. He's been trying to forget the guy, not get a rehash, "What I want to know is why you paid ten bucks to name a cockroach after him?"

"Cause he's scum like roaches!" Tanaka jumps in, indignant anger on Daichi's behalf lining the frown on his face. 

"Yeah and also cause you can watch Roach Zach get gobbled up by a ferocious animal like he justly deserves!" Noya announces and he's lost Daichi there. 

"What."

Daichi darts a look at Ennoshita for support but his assistant manager just shrugs with a resigned expression as if to say that Daichi's on his own for this one. 

"The zoo! They have this awesome valentine's day special and you get to pay to name a bug or rat or veggie after your ex and then watch it get eaten up by the animals!" Tanaka shoves his phone in Daichi's face and after three minutes, Daichi has to admit it's a pretty interesting concept. 

"We got you a ticket and this is your timeslot so go watch Roach Zach get chomped on," Noya stuffs a flimsy paper ticket in Daichi's hand and Tanaka nods fervently over his shoulder. 

Daichi casts one more helpless look at Ennoshita who, the traitor, just pats Daichi on the back as he heads to the door.

"No harm, right?" Ennoshita throws over his shoulder as he steps out into the night.  

Apparently, no harm doesn't mean no emotional casualties considering that his team has just sent him to the zoo on Valentine's day. It's practically choking with saccharine couples who somehow all seem to have flowers and matching outfits. 

Daichi considers turning around twice, once at the bear exhibit (he doesn't because he gets distracted by how cute the cubs are) and once more just before he reaches the meerkat enclosure. 

It's right next to the reptile exhibit so he ducks into the darkened room and finds it more crowded than he would expect. 

Trying to just huddle in the corner to regain his bearings he parks himself at the wall facing the snakes and adjacent to the lizards. 

It's strangely fascinating to watch the lazy way they coil and uncoil, their little tongues occasionally popping out to taste the air. 

Things get heated when booted feet appear and a package drops into the enclosure. The snake eagerly slithers over to inspect it before carefully swallowing it whole. 

"Take that, Jacob, you ratass bitch," A gorgeous voice mutters next to Daichi and honestly, with the combination of that voice and the sentence it had uttered, could anyone blame him for turning to look?

Illuminated in the faintly greenish light from the exhibits is a man who seems too beautiful to be human. Except for the fact that he's in combat boots, ripped jeans and a very comfy looking sweater. And except for the fact that he's cussing out someone named Jacob with every rat that is fed to the reptiles. 

"That's right, you don't even deserve to get chewed, just marinate in digestive juices until you die," Comes the voice again, filled with murderous rage and stunning for it. 

"You piece of crap, you know why I didn't name a veggie after you even though the thought of you being munched to death by a tortoise was quite satisfying?" The beautiful stranger continues under his breath, his face charming with all its expressive movements, "Because vegetables are good for you and you weren't good for me at all!"

It's then that he catches sight of Daichi's gaze and it seems like he flushes a little bit under the dim light, Daichi can't tell. 

"Sorry, I just um, need to get this out of my system," Beautiful stranger smiles and Daichi forgets they're in a couple-ridden zoo for a blinding second, "Or else I'll be feeding my real ex to the snakes instead of just rats."

"Oh, no, I understand," Daichi is quick to assure him, suddenly grateful for the little timing stub in his hand, "My ex is a cockroach."

There's a brief pause wherein Daichi panics about whatever he's just spewed, but the man's face positively glows as he lights up.

"Oh man, I wanted to get a cockroach naming slot cause I thought the meerkats were so cute! But they'd all sold out by the time I tried," He pouts a little but that's really all Daichi needs to hold out his ticket stub. 

"You can come with me later, if you want, I mean, to see the meerkats eat my ex."

It's the weirdest sentence Daichi has ever said in his entire life but the stranger gives him such a look of child-like delight that Daichi doesn't dwell on it too long, overwhelmed by the sight of joy on this angelic face. 

"Can I! Yes, please, lemme just finish watching Jacob get decimated by reptiles," He turns his attention back to where the bigger lizards are also getting fed.

"Yeah, that's it, mess him up!" He cheers as one of the frozen rodents gets flung around in a tussle for food. 

"Wait, wasn't Jacob there?" Daichi gestures vaguely at the first tank. 

That's when the edges of the stranger's smile turns into something devious. It should make Daichi want to run for it but all it does is make his knees go weak.

"I bought every rat for feeding time today so I could watch my rat bastard ex receive his just deserts," He explains.

Daichi has to admit that paying for twenty over frozen rodents just to name them after your ex is pretty dedicated. It's also cheaper than therapy. 

"Anyway, the money goes towards saving more animals so it's all good," The stranger laughs and it's free from the hardness in his eyes that have been there from the start. 

Daichi can't look away.

"Must be a pretty big rat ass to deserve this," He says as the stranger pinches Daichi’s sleeve and starts walking them out. 

"He was beyond controlling, it was always 'Suga, wear this, eat this, do this' or 'Suga, why can't you see things from my perspective, everyone in your life sucks', I'm Suga, by the way," Suga flashes a grin back at Daichi as they weave their way through the crowd. 

Daichi, still reeling from the thought of such a horrible ex and the effects of that brilliant smile, offers his own name in a clumsy and belated manner. 

"Also, he took all the money in our joint account and ran for it," Suga's eyes are hazel in the sunlight when they step out of the reptile area, and they turn steely at this point. 

Daichi is angry beyond words, over a stranger, but tha fact that he just met this man does nothing to ease the vehement emotion that rises up as Suga tells him about Jacob the Rat. 

Suga glances over when they find a good spot at the meerkat enclosure and bumps his shoulder against Daichi in a familiar gesture. 

"Aww don't need to get angry, I'm letting it all out today so that I can move on," Suga's smile has lost some of the strain and there's a calm attitude that seems to settle over him as he watches the meerkats scamper around.  

“Besides,” Suga adds in a light tone with a quietly ferocious expression that Daichi is desperately hoping to see more of, “I got the money back and I didn’t even need to break any fingers to do it.”

Daichi nods slowly as the keeper strides into the meerkat enclosure.

His brain is going, Welp, seems dangerous, we should go and never speak to him again.

Every other part of him screams, ARE YOU KIDDING, I love it, we’re not going anywhere.

Contrary to what Noya and Tanaka were expecting, Roach Zach is not fed to any bloodthirsty animals but fuzzy meerkats that Daichi and Suga coo over as they munch on their bug treats. Either way, Daichi can’t really feel disappointed when the meerkats tear into his ex with such relish and he’s happy that such cute critters get a delicious snack. 

“You should take a video and send it to…” Suga turns questioningly to Daichi.

“Zach,” Daichi supplies, but makes no move to take his phone out, “Nah, this is pretty gratifying in itself.”

Suga whips his phone out to film it instead, telling Daichi he can just keep it for days when he feels down and Daichi has to admit, it doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. 

“What about you?” Daichi asks, when they exchange numbers and the video gets sent to him, “You didn’t take any videos of uh, Jacob getting demolished?”

“Oh,” A wicked grin curves Suga’s lips and Daichi is gone, “I picked the option to have it filmed professionally and sent to my email.”

“Also, it gets sent to Jacob’s email since I provided that too,” Suga adds with vindictive glee. 

The expression fades a little when Suga sees Daichi’s somewhat dazed look. 

“Sorry, too much?” Suga bites his lip, “I know I’m a bit intense but I-”

“Please date me,” Daichi blurts, flushing immediately when he registers what he’s just said while Suga’s grin returns full force.

“I mean, you don’t have to,” Daichi backpedals, remembering Suga’s controlling ex, “I would love to grab a meal or just-”

“Yes,” Suga interrupts. 

Daichi is so out of his depth. 

“What?”

“I said, yes,” Suga tugs Daichi towards the exit as the last bug is fed to the meerkats. 

They’re surrounded by lovey dovey couples but it doesn’t feel as suffocating as it did before. All he can see is Suga’s radiant face with a hint of mischief, laughing as they leave the zoo.

“I hate Valentine’s day,” Suga confesses over their lunch, “So if anyone asks, we got together on the 15th, okay?”

Daichi doesn’t care about Valentine’s day or the calendar or anything else. Suga could have proposed a non-existent date and he would have agreed. 

“Have dinner with me tomorrow? I’ll ask you again and you can say yes again” He asks, watching a smile light up Suga’s face. He doesn’t really know this man, but he’s dying to learn more. 

That’s exactly what he’ll do. 

It’s the first of many, they’ll learn, as Suga grins and says, ”Yes.”

I found out that this is a real thing that the SA zoo does and they offer this internationally so no matter where you are you can also get a video of your least liked person getting eaten by an animal. 

The money goes towards the animals so it’s funny and for a good cause~

[mrpenguinpants]

Genshin: University AU [V1]

I love modern au. Or any “everything is fine, no one died, it’s just a fever dream” au. Half of me is thinking, damn maybe I should answer this serious- LOL HAHA no. That’s not happening. Time to crack my knuckles and let my brainworms take over again.

Once again, this is 90% crack 10% content. I want to switch up my characters from the last brainworm post but I included Kaeya and Diluc.

---

Today’s appreciation post goes to twistedwishes. Hey! I’ve been seeing you pop up a lot lately and thanks for the support 💕💕 I hope things are going better for you and you’re doing alright^^ I feel kinda bad for making appreciation posts on crack fics but hopefully this is somewhat funny haha. 

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Genshin: Holding Hands [V1]

Genshin: When you’re cold [V1]

Genshin: Roommate [V1]

Genshin: Royalty AU [V1]

[Masterlist]

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[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

  @mikeysbike @hanniejji@unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten @youaskedfurret @diaxfeliz @wintergreen-aix @dandelily @thegayrubberducky @lovelykittycatmeow @yuunoagivesmelife  @dokidokisama @simpygrimoire @minakohasmanyhusbandos @strwbrry-lia @tigerpriestess @yuu-yuukurotsuki​

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Diluc

Absolute pretty boy who has braincells, but only if Kaeya is not there. In his mind, Kaeya’s presence makes his room loose 40% of their common sense. He can’t prove it just yet but he’s working on it. He majors in accounting but also has a minor in marketing, logistics’ management, fia- he majors everything business related. He’s going to become the next Elon Musk through smarts or by getting the competition drunk. There can be no contest if he’s the only candidate. He’s actually a hard working guy that overworks and stresses way too much. You have daily “Diluc recharge” evenings where he just hangs onto you while you go through your day.

“Don’t fucking talk to me until I’ve had my coffee,” except there is no coffee - he drinks grape juice out of juice boxes and his only energy boost is when he meets up with you - and that’s his constant mood. So he usually only hangs around you and Jean, since she has childhood friend status and is actually an angel. By default, Lisa is added and Diluc doesn’t mind her but if he see’s Kaeya, it’s full on war paint mode. If he's not busy with work or studies, he's usually with you either in your dorm or his apartment.

He has a fanclub and he seriously hates it and tries to do everything in his power to get Ningguang to take it down. Shouldn’t this be against his rights? But she refuses for whatever reason and makes a whole speech about free will. No matter what he does, someone manages to take a picture and it get’s printed in the university’s newspaper. The only bonding time he has with Kaeya is every Monday, where they collect and burn all the universities newspapers before anyone can get their hands on it. You always bring marshmallows to make smores during their arson activities.

“When I graduate I’m going to burn this school down to the ground. That’s not a threat it’s a promise.”

Ningguang

Is secretly the leader of the Diluc fanclub - not that she likes Diluc, she’s in a questionable platonic poly marriage with you and Beidou - but it was the easiest way to gain funds for the student council. Which she is the president of, so rip Diluc the fanclub stays. Ruthless business woman I tell you. But she can run in heels so her danger factor rises by at least 20%.

Majors in social sciences and law but more specifically the political science & government. She saw the Imperial State Crown that the Queen of England wears and says yes, that’s mine now. If she’s not with Beidou and you planning on “how to infiltrate the state government just for lols”, then she’s with Keqing, Ganyu, and Zhongli discussing student council things. Should they or should they not tell the student body that they can see everyone’s search results? Sit back and relax as the school goes into chaos. 

She’s probably the scariest person on campus No, she is the scariest person on campus. She’s the scariest person on campus. But secretly she’s popping 20 aspirins just to make it through a night. She has the digestive system of steel. She still holds the title of "seriously do not try and beat her in a drinking game it's never going to happen" and that's her proudest achievement in life but sadly she can’t put it on her resume. Kaeya is still trying to beat her out of spite but so far it hasn't been working. You’re seriously concerned for her when she get’s challenged but Beidou gives you a way-to-hard slap on the back and cheers her on. If Ninngguang somehow get’s alcohol poisonings she’ll somehow find away to make a profit out of it.

"I'll let him die, I'll get the insurance money."

Kaeya

One day he chugged too much mouth wash, passed out, and somehow woke up in university majoring in law. His idea is that if he is apart of the law, he can therefore stand above it. To be fair, his only goal in life is to say “I am the manager” and he can go live the rest of his life in bliss or as a hermit. He’s secret best friends with you but wouldn't be caught dead beside you. He will stab a bitch if you ever get hurt but will still trip you on the way home. Seriously, you have no idea why people find him attractive. Your guess is it’s the eye patch or the clap of his ass cheeks that keeps alerting everyone.  

He’s apart of the newspaper club and if anyone asks: No, he has no idea who keeps taking all the newspapers and burns them in the back of the campus. Originally, he joined because he was nosy and needed to join some type of club for his resume. He sometimes feels bad for his junior assistant Amber because he keeps tricking her and says that Diluc is secretly a demon that is trying to steal all the jobs and is apart of the lizard government hell bent on eradicating the human race. He even brought out a whiteboard for this joke, he’s dedicated to his job ok? 

The type of guy to try and be humble and say his work is “okay” but will choke a bitch if anyone agrees. He tends to leave everything last minute and says that it’s his drug since actual drugs could land you one year in prison and a maximum penalty of $2,000. You have to awkwardly hold in your concerned mother head shake when you see him speed running his assignment literally right when the professor is walking around to check if students finished. 

“I was taught how to lead not to read.”

Mona

Broke wallet #2. Zhongli is broke wallet #1 but Childe simps for him so is he really a broke wallet at this point? In this essay, I Mona Megistus, will explain why I have the rights to the title “Broke Wallet #1″...

Believes that astrology should be an actual career path but refuses to take astronomy as her major. I can read the stars not a textbook that tells me how to calculate the mass of the sun divided by the fucks I give. Instead she went into Philosophy and cries to Albedo, who is an actual prodigy genius- sir lend some braincells to everyone else please?, that her professor keep turning her paper down because “star reading” is not an academic source.

Fischl wants her to join the occult club because, surprisingly, Mona is very good at telling people’s fates through her crayon sketch ouija board. She thinks first year Fischl is cute but is put off by the cosplay roleplay that she has going on. She would join except that stupid hat wearing gremlin in her lit class would make fun of her if he found out.

You gave her half your lunch one day and bought her a doughnut "because she seemed upset" and "out of the goodness of your heart" whatever the hell that means. She thinks you pensioned it but once that thought comes she takes a bite. Poison from a doughnut is not the worst way to go out, classes are hard enough. She’s waiting for the lord to strike her down anyways. 

“Its not about passing, its about doing better than everyone else.”

Venti

Slept through most of highschool and people question how he got into university. He’s a music major (wow how fucking original is that), and if anyone asks him to serenade someone or just do anything, he’ll do it for the right price. Or if you buy him alcohol because he still keeps getting ID checked. He’s banking on Kaeya actually becoming a lawyer or being on good terms with Diluc so he can finally stop being arrested for looking like a toddler.

Takes one step into classes and quickly nopes out and goes back to bed. Professors have no idea how he hasn't dropped out or failed. He just has some god given talent. He does whine at you to pretty pretty please with a cherry on top tutor him because you're such an angel and would never leave your poor but awesome best friend hanging right? He needs to get this essay down but how he is suppose to explain how the number 10 is symbolic and connects to the universe or the meaning of life. Do you think he can just say it’s apart of his culture and make up some random myth to pretend it looks like he knows what he’s doing? 

He’s honestly going with the flow and put his brain on the back burner all of highschool and only now realizes wait, I actually have to use my brain?

He’s been banned from most club chats since Venti has the no chill card. Someone says “lol I look ugly today.” and he’ll respond "yup, you look like a cow." and he get’s banned. Zhongli keeps a speed run timer on his phone just to document these occasions.

"Sad spelled backwards is das and das how it be sometimes."

Childe

An actual dumbass that somehow does well. He eats sandwiches with the crust off, this heathen. Surprisingly he’s studying to become a physical therapist but most of his experience has come from breaking his own bones. You’re scared how he's going to be if he actually becomes a therapist. If he'll make bets with his patients or try to one up whatever crazy injury they get into. Everything is a challenge to him that sometimes the best way to deal with Childe is to knock him out. 

This man really knows the way to a Zhongli’s woman's heart. Through micro transactions. Mona saw him accidently drop $20 and just shrugged and walked off. She has never been both spiritually and physically offended in her life. She did take the $20 though. As much as you hate leeching on Chile when he’s basically a walking wallet that probably uses bills as tissue paper, you can’t help but give him puppy eyes while planning on how to get into his will. If he even plans on having one, he might honestly write “whoever wins in a gladiator style duel in my funeral’s tournament, they will get my fortune.”. 

Any sport the university offers Childe is probably in it. Which is how he met Zhongli, challenged him to a fight, proceeded to have his ass handed to him, got a backhanded compliment, and screamed to you he was in love and how he found his soulmate. He's secretly very sappy and has cried and watched every Disney and Pixar movie at least 28 times.

"IM NOT TOO SPICY! I’M A TINY BIT ABOVE MILD IF ANYTHING!”

---

God if it isn’t Scaramouche, it’s Childe that ruins the aesthetic. This is why I hate you. Why do you people enable me like this, it isn’t even good. This is pretty much a @ yourself moment and I vibe hard with Venti. This entire post was just to make a joke about the clap of Kaeya’s ass cheeks alerting the guards.

This week might slow down since I have classes and assignments. My reply’s are gonna be late too, sorry;; (oh and thank you to everyone that was so supportive and nice when I mentioned it. All of you. Beautiful 💕💕 )

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

@intertexts I AM going to take you up on this and it WILL be everyone else's problem . this is going to be so long and disjointed and stream of consciousness and not at all organized. my enrichment for work today

GOD where do i even fucking start. im literally thinking about him constantly dude. i hate it here. i love when a character is allowed to be a bad person and also still like. care. he cares so much. he cares so much it fucking HURTS but also he sucks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and this is a good thing. i never want him to get better however i do want him to give his son a hug just once.

uhhhhhhhhhhh ok ok ok. lizard biology is a good place to start i love fucked up fantasy biology. keep in mind while i do like to talk about science and things i do also love to suspend my disbelief when it conveniences me. yes i know this would not work irl thats why i like it. anyway. hey why the fuck did they make him do that. i know overlords whole deal was fucking with dna but how insane is it that hes like. "oh you want to work for me? awesome. get experimented on idiot." awesome way to keep your employees from quitting: subject them to genetic torture. do you think he fought it. of course he fucking did hes mark winters he would not agree to that shit.

how disorienting do you think it was to wake up and suddenly have a whole extra sense. not just that but also a whole extra LIMB. what the fuck do you do. do u think it was sudden or gradual. i cant decide which is worse tbh. i guess this is a good excuse to talk about what exactly i think his lizard mutations look like.

he obviously has the scales. theyre on mostly the left half of his body, i think his right side is generally pretty untouched by any sort of mutation. the ones on his face are pretty much localized around his eye, (which i think looks like a tokay gecko btw. theyre yellow and have cool shaped pupils) but probably also extend down his cheek and maybe even down onto his neck a little. i think theyre probably scattered on his back and chest, hes got a bunch of distinct big patches rather than like a smooth transition from skin to scales. i think his left hand is completely covered with scales and his nails are more like claws on that side. he probably files them down a little (or like. just scratches them on concrete and metal and shit until theyre filed down. not healthy behavior). i like to imagine he has a tail too but its kind of short and stubby and not very. useful for anything except fucking up his balance and being generally Uncomfortable. OH also once every couple months the scales get SUPER uncomfortable and itchy and they shed. also when this happens he goes blind in the lizard eye and the first time that happened i think he was scared as FUCK that it was gonna be permanent

NOW IM GONNA START TALKING ABOUT. PIT ORGANS AND THIS MIGHT GET LONG AND TECHNICAL SO ILL TRY TO KEEP IT. SOMEWHAT SHORT. so. he can see william when hes invisible. and that has been CONFIRMED a lizard mutation thing and not just a result of one of his powers (which is still insane to me). and the ONLY WAY i can think of justifying that is by thermoreception or. heat sense. like infrared sensing. which is a thing that certain species of snakes can do!! specifically boas and vipers have these things called pit organs which are little holes usually around their nose with a membrane that is extremely sensitive to temperature changes and allows them to basically see in infrared. its not exactly SEEING and more like sensing which i think in a human would be so EXTREMELY disorienting. i havent figured out what exactly that would look like from a mark first person pov but the way i vaguely imagine it is if you overlayed an infrared camera over a normal camera and turned the opacity down to like 30% (<< clear enough that he can still see normally but still bright enough to be WEIRD). i think hes got sorta like what pythons have where they have multiple smaller pits rather than a single large one like a viper, and theyre right underneath the lizard eye so that when he has that eye covered with bandages it sort of dulls down the thermoreception. UGH.

ok enough about lizard powers i want to put you in the winters family torment nexus. actually ill talk about his powers a little bit first. so i am a little unclear as to what his powers actually ARE mechanically but based on the vague descriptions of things he can do i think it has to do with manipulating electricity and other types of energy (hence. wavelength.) i dont think its solely based on LIGHT but rather on likeeee. energy. i dont actually know a whole lot about electricity i havent taken a physics class since high school. ANYWAY. i think he was born with them and naturally theyre sort of weak and he cant do much with them which is why he uses the suits. (inserting my vague bit of worm knowledge i would put him under the Tinker class bc he makes a lot of his own tech hehe). his powers naturally without the suits manifest as like. a constant low buzzing in the background kind of like if youve ever. touched a crt monitor. sort of fuzzy and staticky. and maybe he can use them to like. run extra power through a wire or make a lightbulb glow a little brighter or power a battery. nothing really major useful for fighting but could be used in everyday activities! bizly mentioned once that he powers his suits like a battery and they amplify his powers and i have not let go of that ever since. do u ever think about how he has . holes in his back that his suits stab into. i think about that a lot. do you think he did that to himself. anyway.

NOW its winters family torment nexus time. before ashe's mom died. i think they were happy :( i dont think mark was always as shitty as he is now. i think he used to be just like. a normal dad. a little gruff and emotionally repressed because thats just. who he is. but very obviously loved his family and. idk. would take ashe fishing when he was little or something. weekend trip to the lake. he has a fucking cabin in the woods dude! i like to think heeee had a job as an electrician because it made his powers really convenient. (side note here i just really really like the worldbuilding of people casually having powers and using them to make their lives easier. i just really like that a lot and have a lot of thoughts about it.) I thiiiiiink ashe's mom worked in a library or a museum or something. something with a lot of books. maybe a museum. i think mark would take ashe with him in the mornings and drop him off at school before he went to work. i think ashe would put stickers on his dashboard when he got old enough to sit in the front seat (there are still. old faded stickers on the underside of his glove box and the old leftover residue of long term stickers dried out by the sun on the dash. the kind of shit that gets grey and kind of gross but is impossible to remove).

ashe's mom died when he was ... like 8 or 9. and i think for a really REALLY long time mark was just fucking terrified. i mean how the fuck do you recover from something like that. how do you look your kid in the eyes when you saw him do. that. i specifically wrote out part of this scene in my fic so at risk of sounding like a broken record i wont talk about it TOO much but. i think mark was at work when it happened. he got home from work and the house was way too quiet and then he found ashe still half-possessed in his room with a dead body. and his immediate first thought was that someone had broken in or something so his first instinct is to get ashe out of there but when he goes to pick him up from the floor he sees. trickster. or at least like. partial trickster. and he doesnt know what to do and theres that fucking book on the floor and his 8 yr old son is holding his mothers heart in his hands like its just a piece of meat and . whuh oh. hes just like. a regular guy. what the fuck is he supposed to do here! he considers just. running. leaving. getting back in his car and driving away and never coming back. and then he realizes thats fucking stupid and this is his child and he needs to do *something*

ashe is able to fight off full possession on his own (iiiiiii have a theory about ashes powers and what they are but i cant talk about that in detail until later) and i havent worked out the details of how i think the IMMEDIATE aftermath goes but. mark covers for him. gets rid of any sort of evidence that could POSSIBLY point to ashe being the one that killed her and sticks to the story that it was a freak villain attack instead. closed casket funeral. he tries to get rid of the book so many times and every time it reappears on ashe's bedside table the next morning. i think there was like. an IMMEDIATE rift between them. ashe is. old enough to understand what happened and since the possession was only partial i do think he remembers it. but hes not old enough to really understand why. why everything is so different now, how to process grief, why his dad is treating him so different now etc. probably goes. very nonverbal for a while. mark is a fucking wreck with grief and fear and anger and confusion and he stops going to work. they gave him a bit of a grace period due to the circumstances but eventually he got fired and couldnt get a new job and he thought about just taking ashe and moving out of that house out of that neighborhood maybe out of the city. but everything was too expensive and now he's got a 12 yr old who needs to eat and keeps growing out of his clothes and hasnt been to school in a year and a half and !!!!!!

so he starts. villain work. i dont think he really means to at first he might just. shut down a security camera here and there and make the lights flicker in a gas station and if there are a few extra snacks in his pockets whos to say. maybe he eventually tries to do hired gun work for some bigger villains and then moves to solo jobs and then gets picked up by overlord. (personally i think the overlord job was still somewhat new at the beginning of pd. maybe only like. a couple months to a year max)

ANYWAY he listens to vanessa carlton and thats just canon but i also think he likes shitty scifi movies and goes fishing for fun and finds being out in the woods relaxing (again. cabin) . and he does all the dad things in the car that we've talked about a bunch. and hes so so so paranoid and afraid all the time but he expresses that through anger but it comes from a place of love bc he loves ashe so much and doesnt want anything to hurt him ever and he just wants to keep him safe. head in hands. his methods are not good but also its all he knows how to do and i think he desperately just wants ashe to be happy and he wants to see him smile (even though it fucking hurts because he has his moms smile and her laugh and he looks so much like her when hes happy) and . take him on a weekend trip to the lake again. i think there was a moment halfway through season 1 where he saw how happy ashe was with pd and thought "maybe this is good maybe i can let him be a normal kid for a while" and then william dies and ashe gets shot and overlord has a hit on their heads and he doubles down because thats the kind of shit that happens if he lowers his guard for even a second!!!!!!!!!!! ughhhhhhhhh im insane.

um. also when he was just starting out villain work tide was still doing like active hero work and not a mentor yet and they were like rivals. smile. ("ive fought tide dozens of times and hes never spoken to me like that" << never going to forget this btw). i think tide was the one to tell him what happened at the end of season 1 . because. again. he was UNCONSCIOUS FOR THAT WHOLE THING. i think tide went to visit him in prison before he got depowered and told him everything.

[ingek73]

Sarah Vine: Duchess Meghan’s eyes are ‘utterly devoid of emotion or empathy’

September 01, 2022

By Kaiser Meghan Markle, Royals

All of the most hateful Daily Mail columnists have been “activated” in the past week to screech about the Duchess of Sussex. Jan Moir saw the Bat-signal and she shat out a repugnant, racist “column” last week. Dan Wootton was frothing at the mouth about how the Duchess of Cambridge needs to fly out to Montecito to “rescue” Prince Harry. Now it’s Sarah Vine’s turn. Vine is chilled to the bone about Meghan’s “threat” to the monarchy. In truth, I thought Meghan’s profile in The Cut was threatening too, but in an awesome way. Like, she’s just putting them on notice. She can speak about what they did to her at any time. She could always speak about her experiences, and she’s largely chosen not to. It was shot across the bow and it was done elegantly. The DM and the Windsors got her message and that’s why they’re all freaking out. Some highlights from this frankly unhinged Sarah Vine column, which reads as a parody:

Envy Emeralds: The scraped back hair, the austere black polo-neck, the bright green earrings the colour of envy. The half-opened mouth, a faint sneer playing on the lips. And the eyes, a deep, warm brown yet somehow cold as ice, utterly devoid of emotion or empathy. The Duchess of Sussex’s latest interview — 6,400 words of faux sincerity and fawning praise delivered from her lofty £14.5 million perch in the hills of Montecito — is an Exocet missile tipped with poison, calculated to strike at the heart of the British monarchy.

Meghan’s Malice: It’s a threat so open, so blatantly obvious she might as well have stuck a horse’s head in the Queen’s bed. Every line drips with menace, real or implied. Even her supposed moments of vulnerability are loaded with malice….Like everything Meghan does these days, this interview is a masterclass in manipulation, a carefully orchestrated, professionally executed exercise in brand-building.

They’re worried Meghan might be believed: On and on it goes, each ‘revelation’ more delusional than the last. The tragedy, of course, is that people will believe this narcissistic drivel. The world is full of idiots who think the Queen is a lizard and that Princess Diana was the victim of an MI6 assassination plot, so this is no great leap of faith.

No mention of Diana in The Cut: Indeed, it is perhaps no coincidence that this interview should coincide with the anniversary of the Princess of Wales’s tragic death in a car accident in Paris, 25 years ago. Not even Meghan would dare to draw an overt comparison, but the timing can’t be overlooked. There is nothing and no one this woman will not exploit in pursuit of her own advantage.

Hellbent on revenge: In common, I suspect, with the Royal Family as a whole, I had hoped that once Meghan had obtained the life she desired — that is to say a private existence away from the scrutiny of the cameras and a release from her obligations as a working royal — she would, if not quite extend the hand of friendship, then at least relent in her attacks on the Queen and other senior members of the family. But it’s increasingly clear that she has no such intention. If anything, she seems hellbent on revenge. And she is using all the tools at her disposal.

Burned to a crisp: Make no mistake, this woman doesn’t just want to hold the feet of the Royal Family to the fire; sheq wants to burn the House of Windsor to the ground and dance on its ashes. The awful tragedy is that, with the help of Prince Harry, she may just succeed.

[From The Mail Plus]

The thing is, if Meghan was so “hellbent on revenge,” wouldn’t she have already sought it? It’s been two years and five months since she left Salt Island. I understand that revenge is a dish best served cold, but if “revenge” was her post-royal raison d’etre, why the hold-up? Isn’t it more likely that, as she said and suggested in The Cut, she was treated abominably, she needed time to heal and she is now ready to process some of the horrible sh-t she went through? Plus, it’s not like Salt Island has been silent about the Sussexes in the past two years and five months either. It’s not like Meghan is bringing up ancient grudges out of nowhere years later – there is still an active smear campaign against her and her family. There are royal courts still actively briefing against her. Meghan was saying: I f–king see you and you should know that I have receipts and I can choose to speak whenever I want.

-

‘ It’s a threat so open, so blatantly obvious she might as well have stuck a horse’s head in the Queen’s bed.’

lol what?

[icedhoneyy]

okay I finished eating so I can bring you some self indulgent (im studying zoology and herpetology) Uncle!Konoha thoughts.

the one time he takes baby Akaashi anywhere without the intention of meeting someone, its to the zoo, and baby Akaashi is just as obsessed with reptiles as Konoha is so when he bumps into an absolute angel who is walking through the reptile house answering questions, and is absolutely endeared by how baby Akaashi squeals with love as she presses her face against the glass of a boa's enclosure, he falls in love and may find a reason to take baby Akaashi to the zoo every chance he gets.

oh, I LOVE this!!

after having his ass handed to him multiple times now, Konoha promised Akaashi he would stop flirting with people while on babysitting duty. He promised. And yeah, he totally promised before and completely forgot about it (hoe convenient) but this time, he feels like hes threading too close to having his time with babygirl being cut off short, and he loves her too much to let that happen, so he makes good on his promise.

And the first half of the zoo visit goes by smoothly. His full focus is on baby Akaashi and how adorable she is when she gets excited about all the animals!! Not to mention how cute she is, when babbling to the other kids nearby some random trivia Uncle Aki told her about the animals they're seeing (no, he totally didn't read that from the little information panel in front of every exhibition pfff)

That is until the reptiles exhibition. Thats when Uncle Aki SHINES.

On the way there he tells her the coolest things he knows, dumpingall the info he collected during his reptile nerd years. Its easy to see how his excitement bleeds through baby Akaashi, she's jumping up and down, stars in her eyas as uncle Aki talks, until one point it turns into too much excitement for a such a tiny body and shes dashing from his side and to the snakes exhibit.

Of course he hurries behind her, sighing in relief the moment he spots her in a crowd of other kids around the same age. But baby Akaashi stands out, giddily greetin the Boa Constructor and her squishing against the glass enclosure. Konoha calls her name to grab her attention and is completely ignored, but he can't find it in his heart to be mad about it. Instead, he starts to make way to her.

Thats when he notices you, makijg him stop in his track if only for a brief second. You look like an absolute angel and if the endearment in your voice when talking to baby Akaashi is anything to go by, you actually might be one.

Konoha has to shake the dumbfounded expression off his face when his niece points at his direction, making you, and the rest of the mini-humans crowd, look at him. Turns out that baby Akaashi kept interrupting what you were saying with her own impressively accurate facts about Boa Constructors, making you crouch down and compliment her on how much she knew about it and she lets you know that uncle Aki told her aaaaaaall about snakes and lizards and—

She goes on a monologue about reptiles and how awesome they are, but Konoha can't focus on what shes saying when your eyes flicker between Baby Akaashi and him. Oh, your eyes, the way you smile up at him when his niece tell you that uncle Konoha is the coolest. God, you might be the prettiest thing he's ever seem.

He tries to say something, get her attention so she stops interrupting the guided visit but his mind is coming up blank. And then it fully short circuits when you say to an giddy baby Akaashi: "Well, your Uncle Aki seems like a really cool guy. Why don't you two join us for the rest of your visit?"

And he is left utterly humiliated when his 5 year old niece and her yelled out "yay" is more eloquent at answering you than he is. Really, any other response beside a sheepish smile and a stuttered out "yeah, that'd be cool" would be fine and not make him look lie a complete fool. You don't seem to mind though, shooting him a sweet smile whenever baby Akaashi raises her hand to ask question during the rest of the guided visit. And she is Keiji's daughter, so there were a lot of questions.

At the end of the visist, when they go to thank you for letting them join in, Konoha is phisically itching to shoot you one of his best lines to get your number. But one, he has a feeling his usual charm wouldn't quiet land with you and, more importantly, two, he made a promise to Akaashi. So, he and baby Akaashi bit their goodbyes and despite the ridiculous amount of reptile themed merch hes carrying on his way out, he feels like hes leaving empty handed.

Its only when he and Baby Akaashi reache his car, thta Konoha's gloom demeanor brightens up as she asks him if they could come see the snakes next time. "Yeah, that'd be cool", he tells her with a smile.

@emmyrosee babe more uncle aki just dropped!!

[blueberryrock]

Ah that's awesome, I'm currently stuck with my little tiny project to do a masterlist of my own too, it would be quicker if I didn't wanted to yeet my computer everytime Photoshop acts up 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 anyhows! Could I have please some headcanons about Thorin or Elrond pining for a non-binary someone who's very fashionable in their own terms, maybe they appear to be kind of bodacious and edgelord-esque but it goes all through the window when they see them interacting with animals or they're one in one despite the awkwardness embedded into them?

Sorry for the many details! Have an awesome day and eat something.

A/N Hello! So this is in fact my first headcanon request, and my first headcanon post, so uh I hope you don't mind that imma only be doing Elrond rn, but thank you for the request! I did my best and I hope you enjoy it! I kinda got sidetracked at the end, but I hope you don't mind <3 i also didn't know what to title this lmao

Elrond x Punk!Reader Headcanons

(Rules, Requests, and More)

The first time Elrond saw Y/N was when they, and a group of dwarves, were chased into his Valley. From his position on his horse, he didn't get a clear view of them until Gandalf had shifted to show the whole group.

He was firstly mesmerized by Y/N's hair, the short spiky black hair had very odd neon tips that very much contrasted against their skin.

Their all-black outfit didn't help him either, it was showing so much of their skin, Elrond couldn't help but blush and stare. He was so confused by the new stranger.

It took one of his soldiers nudging him to pull his gaze away, with his face turning red, Elrond quickly introduced himself and welcomed everyone to the Valley.

After his little introduction, he was whisked away by his duties before he could say any more. He did however schedule a small feast for his guests, secretly wondering what Y/N's next outfit would even be.

He was mildly shocked when he saw Y/N strutting into the outdoor dining room wearing a black jacket with small spikes on the shoulders and large black boots with lots of useless straps. It somehow reminded him of the clothing people way far in the east would wear

When everyone had arrived and settled, ellens came out with bowls and platters of food in their arms, most of which were fruits and vegetables.

He wasn't surprised at the small uproar the dwarves caused over the lack of meats supplied, but he smiled when Y/N managed to calm the angry dwarves down. Y/N didn't, however, stop them from climbing onto the tables to sing. They instead encouraged them and silently slipped away from the chaos they had started.

Slipping away as quietly as Y/N had, Elrond had curiously followed the quiet path after them. His heart leaps in his throat when he hears a small yelp come from the path before him. Finding them on the stone pathway with their back towards him, Elrond rushes to Y/N's side, wanting to gently place his hand on their shoulder. He frowns when he sees the small decorative spikes, but he decides instead to walk around to see their face.

Are you okay? What happened? Did you fall? Questions just want to spill out of his worried heart until he sees something in Y/N's hands. "Y/N?" He asks.

With a small grin on their face, Y/N turns to face the elven lord, showing him what they have in their cupped hands. "Look," they say, their gaze turning towards their hands. "This poor gecko lost its tail."

Confusion quickly replaces the worries within Elrond, staring at the small lizard in their hands, a grimace flutters to his face before his eyes lock onto Y/N. "That's um," he starts. "Nice Y/N, it doesn't appear that they are in any pain?"

"No, where I am from, geckos can naturally drop their tails," Y/N starts, shifting to hold the squirming lizard in their hand. "It helps them get away from predators and if they're stuck, they can regrow it too."

"Really?" Elrond asks, watching their face slowly light up as they explain the mechanics behind a lizard's tail. "How do you know all of this?"

"Has Gandalf told you where I come from?" Elrond nods his head slightly as well as humming an answer. "You are from another world and landed in the Shire, but that is all I know."

"Yup," Y/N says. "In my world, I used to collect and breed all kinds of reptiles, I also did small programs to show other people and kids that lizards and snakes really aren't scary."

After moving from the ground, and watching the little lizard scurry off into a bush, Y/N and Elrond slowly start down the winding stone path. "That little guy makes me miss my own geckos."

"Well perhaps when you and the company survive this quest," Elrond starts. "The Valar will send you back?"

"Maybe," Y/N sighs, looking away from the elven lord. "But some days I don't wanna go back, this world is so beautiful and accepting, more so than my old one. I know my reptiles are in good hands right now and I miss them dearly, but deep down, I don't really wanna go back."

Elrond pauses in his place. "Well, mellon, you will always have a place in Rivendel, it doesn't have as many reptiles as you may hope, but I'm sure we could find you some."

"Thank you, my Lord," they say with a small snort before continuing on the path.

[randomnameless]

The thrilling conclusion of the lizard paralogue!

Rhea reveals the Ochain shield was actually crafted by Indech (Macuil just puts magic in it) for Cichol, but Seiros the Warrior decided to gift it instead to the First Emperor of Adrestia - for some reason 

“Let me tell you how awesome he was.”

“He’s the only “great emperor” in Adrestian History, the others are just losers”

“You’re not going to tell them that nonsense about the covenant of the red blood and white sword, right? Flayn is here!!”

“Blink of an eye? Your chronology says it took him 30 years.”

“Yes, blink of an eye. What, you don’t live up to 6000 years yourself?”

That’s what usually happens when you start a war of unification

Really? What abotu the Dudes who were seen as heroes too??

Barney doesn’t know Fodlan’s official history. Who does nowadays?

I love you.

“defeated”

Jugding by the timeline, if Lycaon was his son, either Willy got him quite late in his life or lycaon was a hybrid explaining why he would be still alive while being Willy’s son and not his grandson or great grandson

It makes me think of the situation between Felix and Rodrigue, Felix is the new Head of House Fraldarius, but Rodrigue is still here to assist him in battle and all.

!

Lycaon died young - Willy really got a kid while he was 80 (with a crest prolonging his life) or Lycaon was really a hybrid?

“And they held their hands a lot during this journey.”

What happened to Nopes!Willy next? We won’t know, but funnily enough, instead of hiding in a pond, Indech returned to his workshop in this verse?

“Right. Even if I returned to the monastery 20 years ago, and someone could have told me where to dig to recover the shield that was initially meant for me.”

Barney, plot related weapons never rust. Don’t you know that?

“Zoltan is an amateur next to him!”

Watch out Flayn, the sword nerds in this kingdom might not be happy to hear you badmouth their idol.

Cyril also looks at Flayn, she has an uncle?

“Haha, I misspoke, I just saw him being called uncle in a novel, like the one where women who are not related to Cichol call him “Daddy” while mating.”

“At least it will be put to good use”

“since someone doesn’t want to give it back to its rightful carrier, right Rhea? Rhea, I’m looking at you.”

“He didn’t defeat jackshit, he sucked ! And you can’t defeat people with a shield! Stop painting that guy as better than he was!!”

Nice use of wayward here lol, Rhea thinks Supreme Leader is lost and doesn’t follow the path of her ancestors.

“... Are you sure you are not forgetting someone? The man for whom that shield was created? Rhea, I am looking at you, stop ignoring me.”

:)