#work takes so much mental energy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ilnts · 2 years ago

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nerasi :) during plague times. assistant doctor 069-01

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jils-things · 7 months ago

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by the lighthouse.

dividers

#alright i suppose i should tell what's up lately! im mostly posting this like a mini update or whatever haha #so - since i made that last post on my disappearance i worked endlessly to finish my animation project and thank goodness it's finally over #i had to take a break from trying to be social here and just stay in my own space and i did that by having a smaller side blog to ramble #the project was very... tiring - definitely took out so much energy from me post physically and mentally and i was just frustrated everyday #so i just took my time to be alone with a few close people and i like to think im okay now?#i like to think so - since i was able to deliver a few commission drafts today so i'm relieved that im back to my usual pace #I'll post a few of my doodles here i did during my project just to fill the void haha #i've acquired a minor familial from another video game and i care for him a lot :] idk ill bother to talk abt it here but yeah thats funnn #also indulging a lil bit of t.n.m.n content as of late also thanks to my friend who knows abt it hehe #soo yeah! I don't know if ill be active like the usual but know that i'm doing alright now! hope everyone's doing okay too xoxo #ill probably still stay in my smaller blog for a little longer but will occasionally pop in here!#sooo yaaa #~ art #💚 memoryshipping #also yea i think no.rton only had like. 10 days worth of being the blog brand here until i switched back to the usual guy lmaooo sorry 😔

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gideonisms · 7 months ago

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I want to write I want to make girls be weird about each other in MY word docs I want to have creative projects and goals againn :/

#but i am. so tired #i also don't want it to be something i'm forcing myself through because i feel like that always backfires #this year to me has really been about figuring out what is actually important to me and in what ways i can push myself to grow without #sending myself back to square one again #i can kind of feel myself gearing up to create things again and have wants and goals again but it is sooo slow #absolutely everything wipes me out mentally which i guess it always did but now i can like. comprehend it!#i know what is happening in there but i am so clumsy at working around it. i hadn't practiced that a lot before #it's taking like multiple years to recover from stuff that other people seem to recover from easily #it's sooo annoying and it's not really about feeling like i wasted my 20s anymore #i am where i am it was my life and i spent it the way i did so far. i just can't change that #it's more about like Wanting to do so many things and feeling like there is the potential for so much and feeling held back by my own self #there are so many things i want to try now that i'm doing more than bare minimum surviving and it's like i want them all at once #but i can't possibly do them all at least not yet there just is not time or energy or money to do them all right away #i have trouble prioritizing

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du-hjarta-skulblaka · 1 month ago

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Some mild existential dread in the house today

#im just feeling reeeeally really drained #works taking a LOT out of me #like. it feels less intense day to day? or maybe im reacting less? but its still very much piling up #and im just feeling very...idk. like im still waiting for permission to live my life #except now the permission osnt coming from any one person its. having the money to docit #and the time and the energy #and i guess thats just what adult life is? waiting #and hoping #and along the way losing sight of what i even wanted in the first place because im so *tired*#idk. i definitely need a project of some kind but im struggling to settle on something and then organise it #i have stuff to do today anyway. alfie had a lil bit of emergency cash saved so i need to go shopping #and i need to tidy the kitchen and do some dishes #and have a bath and shave at some point #i also want to draw but again. struggling ti pick something and idk if ill have the executive function spare #AND i want to try and be more social and talk to folks but thats its own kind of difficult #part of me would like a disc server that just has all of my friends in it bc i find it easier to dip in and out of conversarions #but i imagine that would be weird for folks who dont know each other #idk. lot goin through my mind when all i really want is sleep #which also hasnt been...greeeeat lately #mainly because Alfie wakes me up in the mornings bc they dont like being alone but also have a very different sleep schedule to me #and can take multiple smaller naps over a day whereas i really need a solid 8 or so hours or i just. dont fully switch on #but theyre also struggling atm (mentally and also they got an injury at work AND seperately broke their foot ffs)#so they need me more and its just #this never ending cycle of SOMETHING needs my attention #and its fucking exhausting asfghfkd #but!!! we keep goin!!!!! been applying for a bunch of jobs and havent heard anything positive yet but. we keep tryin huh

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triglycercule · 1 month ago

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horror bragging about he's immortal and allat to killer and dust (because he genuinely thinks he is. like he literally came back from the DEAD that is a proud accomplishment!!!! bro probably brags all the time about it like "heh even if you hit me hard i'll just get back up. bitch")

and then killer's like alright bet! let's test that out! and then he starts going on an all out chase for horror's head. and dust just follows along because hey why the fuck not it sounds fun and it would be nice to knock horror down a peg or two :3 frantic running from horror ensues because as much as he'd like to stick by his claim he REALLY cannot be going around risking to see if him being immortal is actually true 💀

#horror it's all your fault you played with fire and now you are not about to get burned you are about to DIE #oh its probably so nervewracking....... he legit could die horror doesnt know if the other two would take mercy on him #he's been an ass all this time ‼️ he has been manipulative and lied ‼️ he has shittalked them at their lowest ‼️ he is FUCKED #or WORSE they just end up dragging this out and driving him crazy with paranoia (this is in fact what would happen)#not that he particularly regrets not being nice to killer and dust because why should he and why do they deserve it but like. GODAAMN IT #couldnt it HURT just to be a LITTLE nicer past horror???? now youre gonna DIE because you were too much of an asshole!!!!!!! fuck #but maybe he doesn't die? maybe he actually lives when the two find him and eventually #would that be worse actually yes in fact it would. if he wants anyone to find out he's actually immortal it would NOT be dust and killer #death seems much more inviting than being hunted down by those two. oh SHIT REAPER WAIT DONT TOUCH HIN #if killer and dust worked together they could probably create a torture situation that not even a tank personified would mentally survive #this seems like another one of my ideas in my head that seems bright and comedic but in reality would just be terrifying #i like it piccasso. now just set it in horrortale and then you have horror in the place of all the people he killed #all the people he hunted down all the innocents and now he gets to feel what they felt when he chased them down #the fear and nervousness of being watched of being toyed with of knowing that youre already stuck in a maze with no exit and no way back #yeah i'd kill myself the psychological horror i'd feel would just be too much dust and killer can just kill me for all i care I GIVE UP #wouldnt it be funny if dust and killer never even touch horror they just chase him until he passes out #that would be sooooo silly LMAO. bitchass we didnt even touch you and you passed out from panic and exhaustion??? COWARD 🤣🤣🤣🤣#dust and killer would never let that memory be forgotten trust. trust. i love it when they taunt and torture eachother #GOD can we get some self not so self inflicted pain onto these 3 😒😒😒 more than they already have but whatever #dont worry guys they took horror home after he passed out and when he woke up fed him a bit of soup to replenish his energy #and then they played a roblox obby to calm down and also relax and then they fell asleep all zzzrkkk mimimimi shoooo like 3 little kitties #killer sans #horror sans #dust sans #murder time trio #utmv #tricule hc

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victorianpining · 2 months ago

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do you feel that you have an easier time getting through more academic texts because of your automatic skimming habit? sometimes it feels like I take forever to read a dense text or an academic journal because I struggle with skimming!

Oh, absolutely!!! Since I work in an academic library, it is incredibly helpful to be able to pick up the overall gist of an article very quickly and then know if it's something worth passing on to the student/faculty member or not. I "read" most sources for the first step of my own research the same way, but because I actually need to understand any material I'm working with in more detail, my process usually goes

Pass/fail skim test (do I like this? does it apply to my argument? etc)

Second slower skim where I copy and paste any sections I think will be worth reading into a mega "master source" document. This does probably mean I miss some sections that may apply to what I'm saying, but this has been very effective overall

Actually read the selected passages. Highlight and note take and decide which bits will be most helpful. Go back to the article for context as needed

So yeah, in my case, I would say if you're a thorough reader, definitely don't feel bad about being "slower" you are probably picking up details that I still miss in my three-tiered system.

#asks #some works that I know I will love I can read correctly the first go #but it takes so much psyching myself up to read those works because fighting my habits here takes a lot of mental energy #which im just now clocking this might also be why I put off reading fics too because I don't really skim those either sdgkhsdjghks

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lika2 · 3 months ago

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Are you "lazy" or are you just taking a break?

Are you "lazy" or do you just need to relax and unwind?

Are you "lazy" or are you just so overworked in other areas of your life that you cants expend the energy to do another task right now?

Are you "lazy" or do you just have executive dysfunction?

Are you "lazy" or do you just have a healthy work-life balance?

Are you "lazy" or do you have an unseen chronic condition that saps your energy until basic tasks are a burden?

Are you "lazy" or is that just a thing you've been told you are for reasons outside your control, to the point that you've internalised it?

Is there a single person in this world who enjoys feeling like a burden?

Has anyone actually felt motivated to improve themselves after they got called "lazy"?

Or did it just worsen their condition?

Is the concept of laziness just abelist/classist garbage?

#this isn't counting rich people who haven't worked a day in their life #but they aren't actually the ones who get called lazy #are they #it's always weaponized against people who are struggling #blaming them for not being able to pull themselves out of their situation #instead of actually helping them #fuck you if you think people are just lazy #also no #this isn't discussing you taking an extra break once because you could afford to #that also isn't laziness #it's maintaining good mental health #lazy #laziness #executive dysfunction #ableism #fuck society #people only have so much energy ffs #adhd

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papermonkeyism · 11 months ago

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sorry for being active

logical... i think I'm annoying you too much /especially with my bad English/, and if you don't want to answer, that'll be fine ^^` in any case, thanks for your attention! i'm probably overthinking this, but...

the last question was, what is Crippled (and the others for that matter) afraid of? I understand that all the hounds lived in a pretty terrible place, but what about simple, almost human things like darkness and loneliness? Surama seems quite fearless to me, despite her dislike of the dark, unlike her brother (okay, he's just quite active), and Iacar is reliving the past. of course, they worry about each other, I think, but... hey, admit it, who is afraid of thunderstorms? :)

sorrysorrysorry ^^`

English isn't my first language either (terveisiä Suomesta). It's just that I'm wary.

I do not currently live in a creative enough environment nor life situation where I can reasonably sacrifice several days out of my week into such a demanding creative work, alone, without burning out.

And every time I so much as casually mention Wurr online, there's usually at least one person who'll come and let me know how tragic it is that I've "decided" to "abandon" my "great story and characters". (Or, in one case, how irrelevant and pathetic I am as a failure of a person. Fuck that one, though.)

Like, I had a bit of a nervous breakdown because of health and livelihood issues back in last spring that I'm still occasionally dealing with (one's systolic blood pressure is definetely not supposed to stay over 190 for long), and I just don't want to be dealing with the people sending me obituaries for my comic on top of that right now.

Like, maybe, maybe, if I one day move closer to Tampere to have my Brainstorm Buddy in my reach regularly again. I miss having creative company.

But right now? I'm just tired.

#wurr #also. like. geesh I'm going to have to figure out some rewrites to parts of the comic's story if I want to ever make a satisfactory job #at finishing it #like nothing major but I started the comic over 16 years ago #i was basically a teen back then #and there are parts of writing that 'grew up on 90s cartoons'-teen me thought were just how stories were made #that I didn't question back then but have definetely very much grown out of as a 36 years old adult person #like... I'd need to un-foreshadow something I already foreshadowed but never felt actually interested in myself #(except you can't un-draw something you've already drawn so far back so I'd have to figure out some kind of twist to make that foreshadowing #feel earned and fitting even if I take away the thing being foreshadowed and make it into something else)#but right now I want to not spend my time angsting about the comic I haven't had the mental energy to work on for few years #and focus on things that make me happy and don't actively make me feel bad #i have a full time day job now anyway #I'm not drawing any kind of comic untill my life is on firm ground again #the meds and the income are helping but it'll take time to even out after the two years of joblessness and mental health strain

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moeblob · 1 year ago

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Hello! I'm here with ~another~ text post!

I unfortunately had assumed "ah yes, The Anxiety" has been my problem recently but in fact, no. It was The Depression! (or a combo, super likely!) Due to this, I will be taking a brief mental break from posting art here. The break may be three days, might be a week. Truly a mystery even to me.

I will be drawing daily so when I return I should have multiple pictures to show off which I will separate in posts by fandom. Drawing really helps calm me down unless I get to the point where it feels like a performance obligation which it currently feels like.

I appreciate your patience and I hope to be okay enough to be back soon.

(also, my ask box on this blog has been disabled until I return)

#moe talks a lot #not art #i feel like a take like some random mental health week every year but hey it helps take pressure off #and if i dont have to worry about pleasing everyone then i start to doodle more - at least in the past #sorry for all my anxious tags yesterday i just kinda like uh #dont have the energy to do much except think so my thoughts kinda spiral outta control and zone in #on like one silly little topic and one silly little comment ive gotten in the past #and if you follow me on twitch and see me start streaming yeah thats to get a social aspect in shhh #i like streaming doodles and it really relaxes me which means i might stream a fair amount while i recover #tfw you try to treat Your Anxiety with medication and it doesnt really work bc its not anxiety issues #but its a med that makes you mellow so then your depressed and mellow yeah thats been me lately oops

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the---hermit · 11 months ago

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i don't think i have mentioned it in other posts, but i decided to deleate goodreads, so now i will be only updating my storygraph account.

#i've had both simultaneously for a few years but the goodreads app just doesn't work for me anymore #i prefer thestorygraph much more and in the past few months keeping updates of both apps was too much mental energy for me #plus the goodreads app was causing so many problems lately i couldn't take it anymore #cris speaks #the---hermit

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tsfennec · 4 months ago

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#I am so sick of everything right now #there are things I need to do #and decisions I need to make #and people I need to get back to #about things they've asked about... weeks ago now #and it's not that I don't actually have time for these obligations #I just feel so completely mentally and emotionally frayed #and all I want to do is scream at everyone to leave me alone #(even while yeah I am also lonely and aware that increasing social isolation isn't going to actually help with Issues)#but I just don't want to deal with #any of this #so many things feel unsustainable #and yet the prospect of change literally makes me physically sick #and even trying to do anything differently #takes so so so much energy I do not have #sick of Trying #but not trying just means the problems and stresses keep getting worse so #back to work I guess

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knitpurlgoal · 6 months ago

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Oo 2 and 6 for the crafting asks!!

HI!!!

2. whats your favorite brand of yarn?

I don't really have a favorite, but I do have a lot of Hedgehog in my stash. I really love the WYS self striping/self patterning too?

6. anything you made that you loved?

ages ago I made a Marius cardigan which was the most complex thing I've made - colorwork, steek, buttonholes, the works. Also I knit a pair of Vanilla is the New Black socks that I wore so much I blew out the heels

#knitting #my knitting #ask games #I should re knit that so it fits my current body but also color work takes so much concentration and mental energy

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disengaged · 8 months ago

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alright anorexia is boring, let’s get yolked

#yeah so i gained 20lbs and started hitting the gym pretty hard two months ago #struggling with weight restoration/relapse urges worse than ever BUT i’m also feeling good about my progress and enjoying myself immensely #honestly didn��t realize how bad i missed lifting #and now that i have time off work i can actually focus on getting my nutrition right (i.e. actually consuming enough protein for once)#pegasus speaks #my face #my ancient ipod camera is shit quality but my abs are starting to show for the first time in like … 1.5 years lol #and im pleased with my anterior/lateral delts! although my pecs need some serious work. wtf #i train chest 2-3x/week and i can still see bones fml #ed ment tw #weight tw #ask to tag #i feel like i’m kind of relearning all my limits. like in terms of physical/mental energy and stuff. idk #doing a lot of research and figuring it out as i go. trying to avoid falling into systemic fatigue etc #i’m already exhausted all the time but my doctor told me i should keep active so. i am #as much as i love the gym i do have to compensate in other areas of my life #if i want to push myself this hard then that’s my choice. but like. i need to give up on doing other things. give and take. spoon theory #etc etc etc

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krillrot · 16 days ago

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all these coding classes lately remind me that i gotta work on my website sooner or later...

#now that im actually taking school courses for html/css im realizing its notttt that bad #like its Frustrating as hell but im better than i thought i was. thats for sure #I WOULDVE worked on my site earlier this year i just got hit by irl shit. yknow how it is #anyway i want to talk here more. i have so many thoughts and i have so little time to dump them.......aaaaaaaa #guess i had to take a step away from using the internet too much. and that break lasted for. What. A few years now LOL #i need to post more of my art here.. havent posted my art to tumblr since 2022 i dont think.."???? Mental illness sorry #ANYWAY ig going out of my way to talk to ppl outside my friendgroup more has done me wonders mentally. bc now im not feeling shy/Scared #like. at all anymore #also im moving next year so hopefully thatll give me the energy to work on stuff again!#chat.txt #ohyeah i need to like. redo my blog theme + work on toyhouse page a bit more #ok gn

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cloudbells · 8 months ago

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I'm sorry I gave everyone the impression that I was gonna be active allie when I first joined this fandom 😔🙏🏿 I planned on it but I should have warned the masses that my life often loves to backhand me away from my interest.

#me my mine #TMI i joined therapy again recently and it's taking up all my mental energy and im trying not to quit it 😩🤞🏿#when i die the first thing im gonna do is rip god's throat out with my teeth for giving me all these PROBLEMS 🤣#shower thought of a (culturally) christian #also my name is not allie i just wanted the alliteration #i actually dont mind giving out my real name if i havent already but i feel like people would be uncomfortable with it #for reasons that are too long to tag but anyways im 99% sure ive said my actually name here at least 7 times #also in case it wasn't clear im not really christian #i grew up as an evangelical yes but it's been so long since me and my family have been active in religion #my dad likes to call us “spiritual” now #you may be thinking “user cloudbells whu do you overexplain so much when you're inactive for more than a coupoe weeks?”#and to that i answer “still working that out”

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stillcominback · 10 months ago

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🎀 🎀 🎀

#hi friends!#local cryptid laurel making a quick little dash appearance just to check in tbh 💗💗💗#miss you all and writing loads but life continues to be a lot lol 😮‍💨#still job hunting which has been really rough in general but also mentally #then raising my daughter aka puppy who I love but takes a lot of my time and energy 🐶#BUUUUUUT a couple things!#1 - i’m better at checking into discord these days so if you would like to plot/write there and/or make servers to do so I would LOVE THAT #2 - RE: depressing job search - I’m working on opening up my own small shop!!#I’ll be starting with a collection inspired by The Traitors aka one of my fave shows atm #but will be doing all kinds of designs going forward!#I’ll drop more info here once we officially ✨launch✨#but I would love to get more followers on our IG page and just get some hype/interest going!#so if anyone wants to check us out to see what’s to come (soon)! the IG is sonichedesigns #(and the website is thatsoniche but it’s not fully opened yet!)#I’m nervous but excited because I’ve always wanted to do something like this but never really had the time or creative/mental energy #so maybe the stars are aligning who knows!#LOVE YOU ALL and hope to catch you on discord at least!#(again not abandoning tumblr or rp at all! just don’t have much time for it so my blogs are basically for aesthetic things and w/e I have #time for haha 🤪💗 but discord I would love to do more writing and stuff so hmu or ask for my handle! MWAH!)#💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

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