#witty live

[kenobion]

Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield in We Live In Time

[ollyollyaxe]

it's probably for the best that john never introduced them,, nothing would have gotten done in that warehouse

[bogkeep]

"how could i leave you here all alone?"

[osric to accompany this piece, from blade of the fane by @theoplum]

[ririchonne]

RJ: So ..."Dad"... now that you're back, I'm gonna need you and mom to cook me up some little bro or sis, so I can boss them around too! Judith has been insufferable while mom was gone😏

JUDITH: What!?😂

MICHONNE:😶🫨😮*ERROR404*(where's my pure n sweet babyboy?)

RICK:😂 (that's my boy!Don't worry son,it's an ongoing mission)

[b0amagination]

Tastes of Whumptober: Day 20

Did you know? Hero and villain prompts were some of the first whump content I intentionally consumed! I will forever be salty that mainstream superhero content could never live up to those prompts.

Content warnings for: Gun violence, threats of death, and mildly suggestive comments

Giving Permission to Die

“So? What’s the plan today?” The villain shouted across the room at the hero whose captivity he’d been in for… a week, now. Maybe more.

“Finally giving you what you want,” he responded with a shrug, playing with the knife in his hands. Flip it over, switch hands. Flip it over, switch hands.

“You don’t look prepared to present me with your corpse.”

“Oh, my death wouldn’t end your sentence, my love.” The flipping game was getting boring, and he picked at dirt under his nails using the blade instead. “You’d be chained up here with the rotting thing until you passed away yourself. Not punishment enough for your crimes, but it’s better than letting you roam the streets.”

“Sounds like you’re not giving me what I want then.”

“Be glad my greatest sin is telling lies.” A pointed glare accused him of crimes he’d plead innocent to, yet again. The knife moved to scratch an itch with the flat of it. 

“You sure that torturing a man isn’t higher on that list?”

“The pen is mightier than the sword, love.” A gesture with the damned thing now. He pushed down the urge to point out the obvious differences between that little thing and a sword. But the dick joke was funny in his head and didn’t involve initiation of a measuring contest.

“And your forked tongue doesn’t salivate ink. Swords can make quick work of those.” 

“Oh, shall I try it out on yours?” The hero stuck out his tongue at him.

“Put me out of my misery first.”

The knife plunged into the floor and he stood, never taking his eyes off of the villain.

“That. That’s what I’m talking about. Always egging me on. Trying to make me go too far.” He stalked forward and pulled a pistol from the inside pocket of his jacket. Entirely concealed from the outside. “I’ll go too far today. Just for you.” 

“Cute prop.” He hid the way his body shivered at the sight, praying the hero wouldn’t call his bluff. He was chained to this wall by his ankles, wrists, and neck. It wouldn’t be useful to put himself in a more vulnerable position.

“Here, let me fire. Maybe you’ll believe it then.” The gun aimed at the concrete beside his head but he paused. “Oh, who am I kidding. I should save your hearing for the last few minutes of your life.”

Foam earplugs were thrust into his ears and held still while they extended to block the canal, and the other did the same for himself. 

“Now, where was I?” Of course, shouting loud enough to bypass the earplugs. He aimed only a foot to the left of the villain’s head, pulling away as far as he possibly could, and fired. 

The sound ricocheted around the room, admittedly too small to facilitate gunfire, and he grinned at the way his victim flinched, eyes going wide. He walked forward and plucked the bullet out from its newfound pocket in the concrete, scattering dust and chunks that had stood solid just moments before. 

It was still warm from being shot and he dropped his knees, pressing it into the villain’s hand and folding up fingers to protect it. It trembled in his grip. 

“Do you believe me now, dear?” he spoke low into their ear, making sure he could still hear the threatening tone.

“Leave. Put that damn thing away and leave. You won’t shoot me and I know it.”

He cradled his cheek with the gun. And slid it up to sit against his temple. 

“How confident are you?” 

“Deadly so.”

BANG.

The world was fuzzy from the shot. The noise too close to his head, bleeding into his vision despite the protection. He looked down at his hands to see the blood dripping down them, spraying from his forehead. But only the bullet rolling in his palm greeted him. 

“Oops, guess the magazine was out.” 

Comprehension was a struggle. His forehead burned, but without blood… the hero’s thumb reached up and he flinched back uselessly as it rubbed over the not-hole. It came back covered in soot, wiped against his jaw like it was nothing. 

“What…?”

He released the magazine from the gun and presented it. Empty. 

“You were right. I didn’t shoot you.”

“You…”

“Pulled the trigger? Absolutely. Let’s rectify that little mistake, love.” Another magazine from his pocket, showing the bullets loaded inside, and shoving it into place. 

Then the front sight pressed against the villain’s lips, wiggling between them and scratching his teeth. He shook his head, turning it to the side. 

“No, no. You asked me for this, baby. I’ll follow through for you.” His hand steadied his chin, squeezing his jaw, and the muzzle jammed into the teeth with the threat to break. He had no choice but to let it in.

Gunpowder was a repulsive taste. Ash and acid. Then metal, still warm from recent discharge, but cooling rapidly. He guided it in, not stopping when teeth clamped down in an attempt to ward it off. The muzzle pressed toward his gag reflex when the trigger guard finally brushed his lips and he sighed, a whiny pathetic thing. 

“C’mon. Nod, babe, and I’ll pull the trigger. Hero’s honor. To save those in need.”

Nothing. He held him by the back of the head, devious smile aware of each action’s connotation, and twisted the pistol to force it further, making him gag on it. 

“Tell me to do it. I’ll let you die. I’ll blow your fucking brains out, sweetheart.”

The hammer clicked back. His finger inched toward the trigger. The villain held his breath, unmoving.

And then the gun ripped out of his mouth, sight tearing across his cheek and lip, splattering his blood across the floor where it flew and spun to a stop at the other end of the room.

“Right. Don’t ask me again.”

[anglefish3008]

kitty

[red-moon-at-night]

What would Helen have been thinking about her brothers, the Dioscuri, all those years in Troy with their absence on the battlefield?

When they had come to retrieve her once before but didn't this time?

What would she make of that?

We know from The Iliad that even into the 10th year of war, she's still asking those questions.

Does she think they are so ashamed of her actions, so disapproving, that they do not want to fight for her sake? That they know the heart of their little sister and whether she would've gone willingly? That they see through all of it and see her, and turn away at the sight?

Does the paranoia of not knowing feel worse than the answer?

Helen goes through 10 to 20 years of life in Troy - of war in Troy - without knowing that her brothers died before she even made it to Troy itself. How long does it take after the war that she finds out? Who tells her?

She lives through so many unknowns and so many unanswered questions, and I don't think I will ever not feel devastated about that.

[alwayshinny]

Harry Potter ⚡️

[cosyatp]

is no one going to say how perfect brittle bones nicky is for charles and edwin specifically verse 3 and the breakdown

[strangeasf]

I know we all talking about bi buck right now but can I just say that I hope we'll see ravi begins soon??

[drunken-devotion]

ngl i think the line “pretty girls who went to our beds” in drink with me would be arguably better if they changed it to “pretty boys”

[theoryandahalf]

Hot Take: I can only listen to so much of old GTLive episodes (circa 2018, aka the Theorist year of hell) before I want to repeatedly smack MatPat AND Steph outside the back of the head.

Look, I know that was a very bad time for them, but trying to listen to them complain about candy flavors for 20 minutes while trying to determine Amy's first GT Live episodes is...special.

So very special.

(but its nice to see baby MatPat and Steph before Ollie caused them to rapidly age lol)

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 4 :)

[bisamwilson]

why do none of the rebels characters or ahsoka have actual personalities anymore,,,,,

[mmaeeve]

daily dean quote #128/366:

“define semi-functioning… and do not use the words ‘hole in the floor’.”

- season 7, episode 12, time after time after time

[coquette2004]

@defensivelee this one's for you. You deserve it.