#without hurting my shoulder
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[image description: a meme featuring a stock photo of library roller racks. the racks have manual cranks. impact font text on top of the meme reads, "I will die in you." end image description.]
my resolution for 2024 is to be crushed to atoms between the roller rack shelves
#mod felix#reblog#i had an experience of going to the basement of an unfamiliar library only to be met with these#(the ones in my usual library are electric and button-operated)#and like. the sign with the instructions was like 'make sure to push them all the way because the ada mandates a 36 inch aisle'#meanwhile i (disabled) was sitting there trying to figure out how the hell i was going to get the (somewhat broken) racks to stay put#without hurting my shoulder#like i don't think the 36 inch aisle was the biggest impediment to access there...#well i guess the funny thing was like. if individuals have to move the roller racks to find the thing they're looking for.#why does it matter if it's 36 inches if the individual doesn't need the full 36 inches.#the odds that the next person will need something from that same shelf are pretty slim#and like. the crank is a much bigger impediment to access.#like if someone can't get through a smaller aisle than 36 inches the odds that they can turn the crank unassisted seem pretty low to me#i mean this is probably why most of the shelves are electric#it's just funny. letter but not the spirit of the law
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#this is a cry for help please i have loved this clown for over a decade#When Bruce says “I can fix him” I completely understand & not bc I want to fix him#but bc despite all the atrocities he has committed you can't help but feel compassion for him#Joker constantly struggles to not let himself be seen vulnerable but when he does oh God it breaks my heart#I wouldn't know what to do if I were aware that I'm being doomed by the narrative & i had no escape even in death#to have a fate as tragic as being forced to become a myth#a monster who abandons all traces of humanity to make sure that someone else never abandons his#A lonely man who lives in a world of the dead and must do as much harm as possible to the only living person before his eyes#After all horror and obsession leads backs to love. oh god imagine loving as much as he does#Love as something twisted as a source of tragedy and death as an addiction a wound that never stops bleeding and hurts more every day#All you want is to be free#But someone else is holding on to you and will never let u go bcz he is afraid of being alone#and without you the weight of the world he carries on his shoulders would kill him he needs u as much as u need him#both are going to drown together#anyways hahaha i luv this stupid clown#joker#the joker#batjokes#bcz i got carried away writing the tags :p
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"I was gonna say you're like a son to me.. but you're more than that."
"It ain't that complicated!"
How quickly that shoulder pat of comfort turned into a condescending one.
#he makes me feel so emo#this life was never meant for you but your fate was forced#the way dutch (and hosea) talks to arthur like he's stupid will never sit right with me#like they've been by his side over 20 years they KNOW he isn't stupid because if he was he would have been gone a long time ago#not only is arthur incredibly emotionally smart but he's a trained conman vault breaker gunslinger horse rider you name it#the fact that his own adoptive parents break him down like that hurts#it's a manipulation tactic on dutch's end - break your victims self esteem to make them chase your praise and approval#hosea I believe has just gone along with that kind of attitude but in a different way he just likes to jest lightheartedly#arthur doesn't see the difference though and it's understandable but he takes it to heart#the worst part is that hosea sees through his tough guy act and has called arthur out on it#his act is a defence mechanism to protect himself from being too vulnerable - in arthur's mind#and it isn't a sudden thing it's very likely something that has built over the years given the life he has lived#and hosea notices he knows this#but they still jab at arthur#oh it hurts#is he your son dutch? or is he your guard dog? your personal workhorse?#playing through the second time is opening my eyes more and more#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#mick squeaks#mick rants#mick gifs#arthur morgan#dutch van der linde#liveblogging#you guys gotta understand - arthur seeks and longs for dutch's approval he'll never say it but it's the key motive behind his loyalty#and arthur *rejects* dutch's comfort#he doesn't *want* dutch to pat him on the shoulder because he knows dutch is digging them an even deeper hole#he doesn't want that touch he craves#it's so insanely monumental for such a small scene because it shows us how arthur feels without telling us
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Since when has this been an actual outfit this guy has had... I thought he only had the jumpsuit... sir ... what's ur deal?
#in my head hes the em of pain#he can inflict the feeling of pain on you without hurting you#he can gently grasp your shoulder and inflict a feeling of one million hammers into it.#ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#ninjago spoilers#raine's rambles
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Jerez | Estoril 2005: On the way to the podium at Jerez, Valentino Rossi gestures with a grin at Sete Gibernau, who is hobbling up the stairs and clutches his arm in visible discomfort. At the pre-event press conference for the next race at Estoril, Rossi comments again on the race and the resulting controversy - and says he was not aware of Gibernau's pre-existing shoulder troubles.
As a result of the last corner Jerez collision, Gibernau “acquired a lesion to the rotator cuff of his left shoulder and to the tendon which will require rest and treatment". He did race in Estoril, crashing out of the lead.
#brr brr#sete gibernau#//#sg15#i feel like the way this is cut does stitch valentino up but i would like to state for the record that i am no better than him#i will not disclose my reaction whenever i see the fourth wall break. i KNOW context makes it iffy#but if you watch it without the knowledge the shoulder was actually hurt you do think sete's playing it up. or i did anyway#one of the commentators was also like 'yeah idk how much of that is theatre' on the podium which. again. i am sorry to sete gibernau#and then vale's like 'oh y'know i only lightly bumped my bike into him!! it was a slow corner!!' which. i'm not gonna say a word#'i'm sorry if he's not at 100%' one of the all time great non apology apologies#curse tag
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oh god. the KT tape we used to stabilize my elbows yesterday + today is like. superglued to my arm hairs and won't budge... the plan is to take it off in the shower, since doing it dry fucked up my shoulder skin the other day, but. aaaaah........
#this is going to hurt like a bitch- and I'm putting more on in the morning#because school is brutal on my shoulders and elbows specifically and idk what else to do without accommodations#a brace or smth would be kind of nice. I also for sure need more ring splints and I'm considering trying to 3d print some at the library#since they're so god damn expensive and idk if I have the time or skill to make my own metal splints
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This is going to sound like the world's most brain-rotted thought but passerine by the oh hellos is martlet coded and canary in a coal mine by the crane wives is clover coded
#I KNOW I SOUND LIKE IM LOSING IT BUT HEAR ME OUT#i do not have nearly enough experience to fully unpack the christian context behind passerine BUT#i know for a fact that its about losing your faith in something after seeing the harm done in its name#specifically that one line My palms and fingers still reek of gasoline/From throwing fuel to the fire of that greco-roman dream#look. idk. something something martlet losing faith in the justice from the royal guards#and the guilt after basically marching clover to their own death#all the hopes of the underground lie on the shoulders of a bunch of human children and its the job of the royal guard to fucking kill them#AND CANARY IN A COAL MINE + CLOVER IS SOOOOOOOOO#THE QUESTION OF WHETHER YOUR WORTH SHOULD BE MEASURED WITH THE THINGS YOUVE GIVEN WAY INSTEAD OF WHAT YOU HAVE AND ARE#WOULD CLOVER BE AS IMPORTANT IF IT WERENT FOR THEIR SOUL??? WOULD THEY FORGIVE THEMSELF IF THEY CHOSE TO KEEP THEIR SOUL?????#WOULD A CANARY STILL BE LOVED AFTER IT STOPPED SINGING?????????#also because the When You Break The Surface Without Me line hurts like a bitch#god i havent been so unwell about characters since double life came out this is insane#fuck it yknow what im maintagging this#undertale yellow#clover undertale yellow#martlet undertale yellow#fweeet#if i have to deal with these thoughts in my head so do all of you
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#cw vent#maybe i stayed up too late but suddenly i feel like crying#like really badly#i tried very hard today#but im still so scared#of everything#im being watched. i am absolutely sure im being watched#i can feel somebodys presence over my shoulder now and they can probably read what im typing#its been like this for so long#and#as im typing this it has been the sixteenth of juky for about two hours#twenty two hours left until my birthday#i will be sixteen#that is scaring me so much#i haven't progressed since i was maybe eleven#i still can't take care of mysekf. i shouldn't ve admitting to this but i genuinely can't do basic actions#i constantly forget to keep my body in a safe state. my hair is so messy. i get tok focused on other stuff and most of the time i just#forget to shower#i am genuinely so disgusting and unhygienic. i know this and want to fix it#but also.. i just wish i was like just an internet person#if i didn't have to eat or maintain my body i think id be a much happier person#im scared#how can i possibly be turning 16. i haven't even learnt how to eat food yet#most meals i can't eat without gagging or feeling like vomiting#i don't know why im typing all this out#for a while i was okay with it being my birthday soon. because i thought i would finally get attention and love from others#but im starting to realise that probably will not be happening#:[#why am i typing this out. my head hurts#and im gonna die
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ok u know what maybe if the world isn't ready for sunrazer post that means that the world IS ready for Amoveous siblings post. This is Milo and Enho and theyre my DARLINGS and i love them SO MUCH. i have. SOOOOOOOO many thoughts abt them but after the previous post massacre i do not really feel like typing all of that xoxo love <3
#THESE DRAWINGS HAVE BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS LOL#meart#original character#robot oc#ily enho ily milo my darlings my angels my loves my funny robot guys.#ive posted abt Andromeda on here b4 if u remember her Enho is her best friend !!!!!#Enhos a battle robot who doesnt want 2 fight people..#hes the oldest sibling and theres a lot resting on their shoulders!#shes supposed to be this big metal protector but U.U she just wants to hide in his room.. and make music for the internet..#him and andy have this whole arc abt like. autonomy and identity and junk#being as andy is a government experiment who was raised to be a superhero who. has not yet realized that she HATES being a superhero lol#Enho inspires her!#milo um. does his own thing. he was the second amoveous bot and he is lucky to have been built without the responsibility of a battle bot#which means hes a LOT weaker. doesnt have a million weapons and lasers and such like enho does. no one expects much of him. he HATES IT!!!!#he wants to be POWERFUL! he wants to HURT PEOPLE!! he wants to be USEFUL!!! hes ANGRY ALL THE TIME#its EXSAUSTING.#yk that tinkerbell thing thats like. cuz shes so small she can only feel one emotion at once. and its so big it consumes her entirely?#hes that. he lives entirely in extremes. everything is 100% for him#he jumps to conclusions so quick and so violently.. hes incredibly impulsive and it gets him into a lot of trouble.#hes also a total NERD!!! GOOB!!! says mlady unironically. likes bad computer games. wears a stupid tie everyday. cartoonishly schemes 24/7#enho for the record is also a pretty angry person. they just dont rlly express it. they dont express much of anything lol.#shes semiverbal on a talkative day. he can be REALLY REALLY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE THO. THAT MF CAN BE SO PETTY. GOOFY ASS#but shes TERRIFIED she'll lose control of her emotions and her body and that shell hurt someone someday. absolutely terrified.#enho is as afraid of his strength as milo is of his weakness. theyre both two ends of the same extremes in a lot of ways.#polar opposites and yet exactly the same. they resent each other a lot. they need to learn to meet each other in the middle.#anyway ''i dont feel like typing all that'' and then i ramble in the tags for ten million years lol ToT I LOVE THESE GUYS#theyre my oldest ocs in this universe and i have so many thoughts if you have any questions feel free to ask me lol
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that's 100% it for me, my assignment took an hour longer than I meant it to bc I had to chase down a bunch of info :( I'm in trouble with the host I replaced because I stole all of his time yesterday, too (sorry Adam...)
#my head and shoulders hurt and I feel kind of weird emotionally#I've been fronting too long without stopping and taking a rest. I didn't rest yesterday either.
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I messed up my wrist ☹️
#gotta be wearing my wrist brace again#can't even properly hold my phone or open doors without going ouchie 🥺 someone kiss it better pls#my whole muscle nerve thingy from the shoulder to the middle of my palm hurts 🙁#lil scared but we ball. i'm doing all the reccomended stuff and will start taking brufen today to help with the inflammation#my right hand too. my bow hand 🥺 writing hand 🥺#I NEED TO FINISH THIS DAMN KNIT SCARF THIS IS THE WORST#at least the brace is helping. as long as i keep it straight all is good#can't even bend and break to my basic needs to move my hands in peace smh#darya talks to herself
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On the weekends I've been streaming art, but Monday nights I'm gonna be playing The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap! 🍀 It's one of my favorite games, let alone a favorite Zelda, and I'm super excited to replay it! I couldn't resist making my own version of the iconic splash art to celebrate! (^o^)
If you're not familiar with the game, it's one of the Capcom produced Zelda's and it is SUPER charming. I love it so much, and I'm already having so much fun with it 🥰 Check out the game yourself if you've never played it! 10/10 highly recommend hehe
#legend of zelda#legend of zelda minish cap#minish cap#loz#fan art#digital#procreate#illustration#streaming aside this was so fun to make BHFGBHFH ;w;#it was nice to work on something different and try to emulate the original without like#it's not a perfect 1:1 but it was fun to get as much as i could while letting myself take liberties!!#def hurt my shoulder though ALSKDJFSAH WHOOPS!!!!!!!#ok i changed the description a bit bc i genuinely love this piece and worked really hard on it <3
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i wish i had someone to help me shower :(
#its so fucking difficult on my own#i end up hurting myself like every time#we got a shower chair but that only helps with my leg problems#i cant wash my hair or my back without hurting my shoulders#they dislocate with too much movement#i just need some help...
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Got a week off of work!
…because my shoulder is messed up
#Been just Dealing With It#But then my shoulder started popping OUT OF THE SOCKET#It went back in but that’s not the point#Getting X-rays later today#“Oh you can work without using your shoulder” HAVE YOU CHASED DOWN A TODDLER WITH ROCKS IN THEIR MOUTH!?#I DIDNT THINK SO#anywho wish me luck/healthy vibes/thoughts and prayers#At least drawing doesn’t hurt it
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pulling a 12 hour shift at the wood kiln this weekend kinda set me back with my shoulder/neck trouble i've been having. but i did go to pt yesterday and we tried dry needling for the first time (two in my left trapezius, on the top near my neck) and what the fuck. i dont understand how that all works and usually approach it with a healthy amount of questioning but my muscle released and i feel so much better. i didnt hurt when i got up today lol other than im sore where i got stuck (and yes im still doing my exercises im gonna get a good grade in dont screw your body up)
(we also think that muscle is the culprit for my nerve tingling in my hand, that reacted during the procedure and has also since improved)
#stupid rant is stupid#needles#dry needling#bodies are fucking weird#take care of your bodies yall or youll be in your early 30s on your 2nd major bout of pt#i have one extra visit to see how im doing in two weeks so i hope i can keep improving and not slide back again#like i will say dry needling didnt hurt except for when he took one of them out#i didnt feel them go in and felt pressure#but what was really weird was you target the contracted muscles and it makes them twitch and spasm a little to make them release?#so like the first one i got maybe three rapid twitches and the second one i got one really big one#which didnt hurt but it was surprising bc it was the spasm without the pain#like how your muscles twitch when tired or after a work out#and then it was like almost instant relief it was just. so weird. and i am open to having that done again if needed#and it didnt tighten up again over night i almost cried lmfao#anyways#it also made the muscles in my jaw relax too which was amazing#i carry my stress in my shoulders and neck lol
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Happy national coming out day to me accidentally coming out to an old neighbor because the nurse who came to bring me back to a room in the er called me Zack
#idk if he reacted to that because I just waved by and left without looking at him lol#but given he was talking to my mother who is still trying hard to not acknowledge the gender shit I do kinda wonder#anyway don't worry too much about me being at the er the issue was resolved pretty seamlessly#my shoulder hurts some though#little alien life shit
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