#with: cassandra
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hearsthephone · 1 year ago
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@hvbris sent “It’s okay. Don’t scream. It’s me.“ from this meme
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The boy flinched away from the hand on his shoulder on instinct. But it was just the agent who talked to him and Gwen when Robin went missing. He nodded several times, trying to find more words than the short bursts he had been talking in.
"He's in the basement."
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cherry-waffles · 5 months ago
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Moisturize me
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ochibrochi · 3 months ago
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america's sweetheart olympian 🥇
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jellllllo-bowl · 20 days ago
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gotham rainy nights
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i firmly believe in Duke doing silly things with his power
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hiding under your dad's cape when it's pouring outside can be something very special + bat-rain-poncho, several years later
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lokutofu · 4 months ago
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World’s Greatest Detective fails to correctly identify his children 😭
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lovelylonelymoonlight · 3 months ago
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Bruce unintentionally dissing the league while praising his kids is so funny to me
Bruce: we need an expert marksman for this job
Oliver: *getting ready to stand up to fully accept Bruce’s praise*
Bruce: Redhood will be here shortly. We also need someone quick on their feet. Luckily Cass is working on a case nearby so we can ask her
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lil-gingerbread-queen · 5 months ago
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"Robin brings light to the darkness" or something
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amorkuku · 4 months ago
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rosemarydisaster · 9 days ago
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It's raining nonstop where I am so I'm just picturing the Batfam during a flood.
Red Robin uploads a TikTok from the safety of a roof saying "watch him go!" As Red Hood keeps trying to drive his bike against the current. A big wave comes by and he's slowly dragged downhill. The caption reads "don't drive during floods".
Batman and Robin are on the ground helping civilians out of cars when the intensity doubles and in minutes Damian goes from wading knee deep in the water to swimming. The emergency batfloaties get triggered and he floats away as Bruce fails to grab him by half an inch. "Robin serenely drifting in the current" becomes a meme.
Someone takes a picture of a very flustered spoiler trying to squeeze the water out of her cape. The second she lets go the weight of the water makes her fall ass over backwards. Black Bat ends up giving her her waterproof cape.
Signal makes mirages of sharks in the water to scare the shit out of any criminals. Oracle uploads the recordings with Benny hill as background music. Bludhaven escapes the worst of the storm and Nightwing sends pictures to the group chat patting the barely wet concrete just to rub it in. He still slips on a puddle and eats shit, Barbara sends that to the group chat.
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weewoow-20706030 · 3 months ago
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The batfam trauma candy salad would go absolutely insane.
Dick: Hi. I'm Dick Grayson and when I was 8 I watched my parents fall to their death in front of me, then I had to move away from everything I love and spend the rest of my life in some weird American city. And I brought the sour gummy worms.
Jason: This is so stupid- my mother used to kick me out when he drug dealer would come over so I didn't see her spending our very small amount of money on drugs.
Steph *off screen*: what did you bring?
Jason: nerds.
Cass: I was raised to be a weapon, a murderer. I brought peach rings.
Steph: I'm Steph and My dad was an alcoholic who thought he could go head to head with batman and outdo the riddler. And I brought Reese's pieces.
Tim: I'm Timothy Drake Wayne and I had left the house to try and find some guy before he killed my dad, just for him to kill my dad when I was gone. I brought sour rainbow strips.
Duke: My parents are in a mental ward, high on joker toxin. No one knows if they'll ever get better. And I got m&m's.
Damian: I am a highly trained assassin and-
Steph: cut. Cut. Damian. Civilian identities. Ok. Restart.
Damian: My mother randomly dropped me on some weird man's doorstep when I was ten. I brought rock candy.
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sinizade · 24 days ago
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Wonder Woman ⭐️ Save me big strong Amazon princess, big strong Amazon princess save me 🛐
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incorrectbatfamandfriends · 3 months ago
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Headcanon that since Jason can’t go out with his family publicly, what he does instead is show up in random disguises.
Bruce is chatting up some socialites at a gala, talking about the joys of fatherhood and how rewarding it is. Meanwhile he made eye contact with Jason disguised as a waiter twenty minutes ago, and is currently trying to stop his eye from twitching.
Dick is speaking to a third grade class as a part of the Bludhaven Police department outreach program, except when he walks in Jason is sitting behind the teachers desk, playing the role of substitute.
Babs can’t help but stare when Jason hands her a coffee from behind the counter of her favorite coffee shop. (His name tag reads Peter, and for a second she thinks she’s actually lost it).
Tim walks into Wayne Towers one day and on his way in, he waves to his secretary- lo and behold Marjorie has been replaced by Jason. It takes him three hours to notice.
Cass walks into ballet class to discover her teacher had to take a sick day- his replacement is Jason in a beret who talks in a terrible French accent the entire class, only to drop it at the very end to talk in a thick New Jersey accent. Her entire class talks about it for weeks.
Stephanie hails a cab on her way home one night, only to find Jason driving. She’s not sure how he pulled it off or how he got a cab, but her mind is effectively blown.
Duke is on a school trip to the natural history museum, and when the tour guide introduces himself, Duke can’t help but role his eyes. Jason gives a surprisingly good tour, even throwing in some tidbits about a robbery that went down just last week that the Signal stopped.
Damian’s encounter happens when he’s with Jon in metropolis. He’s watching Jon play baseball, and when Jon steps up to bat, he can’t help but notice a the umpire looks a little familiar.
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forgetfulsynapsid · 3 months ago
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Another picture of the BAT-family!!! Bruce will make them all fit under his wings if it’s the last thing he does.
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mysterycitrus · 3 months ago
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bring back the creatures
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lokutofu · 12 days ago
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No mangoes left behind
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