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#I still think this is a beautiful landing page#with good negative space and everything#for the first time in my life I can identify that i feel lonely it’s wild I do not recommend it#the dating apps are the most toxic tech that was ever created#not one bone in my body wants to play the games with the guys#imagine studying chat psychology for 5 years then witnessing boys trying to play you with it#ANYWAYS#cybercore#y2k#old internet#old web#cyber y2k#00s#2000s#tech#moodboard#cyber core#old apple#apple#user interface#y2k nostalgia#nostalgiacore#nostalgia#girlblogging#techcore#tech blog
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Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.
Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!
Hi there!
Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!
It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!
I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha
I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then
I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...
The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.
It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.
Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.
I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.
I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.
#asks#steakandpeanutbuttersandwiches#I'm SO sorry youre new and you asked me such a benign question and I responded with... this... LMAO#I swear to god I tried to make it as short as possible#theres just a lot auauuaghkhgjk#basically. way too much work. not enough money.#so it either is gonna be good and take longer or be worse but come back faster#and I chose to take longer#so.#I'm really sorry and I wish that this decision didn't also come with the... pretty much guarantee that it will negatively impact my career.#I will lose readers. I will lose potential readers for my future work. it looks bad on me as a creator to take such a big break. etc. etc.#but it's good. it's so good. you have to trust me it's like the best stuff Ive ever written#it. ok well to be honest#it'll probably feel extremely simple and extremely natural#but it's been SO much work LMAO#I am not exaggerating I have written over 200 pages of scapped ideas to get to where it is#I'm sure it won't make sense why it took so long while reading but you gotta trust me LMAO#ideally it doesnt even 'feel' different right. cause its gotta be cohesive with the whole thing#but there is SO MUCH TO WRAP UP#THERES SO MUCH#and to make that feel natural in this little space oh my GOD it is so hard#ok omfg I'm doing it again I'm going on way too long again IM SO SORRY#YOURE NEW HERE AND IM DOING THIS IMMEDIATELy#this is like 90% for my followers who I know are curious about this and I'm just using you as a jumping off point to talk about it#cause I don't really like to make standalone posts very often#I likely will make some kind of official announcement about it when the date is extremely set in stone#right now I think it's still only tentatively scheduled so it could still change#and I'll say something more... refined and restrained... then.#but for now this is like. actually everything. I think#I'm sure I forgot something but whatever lmfao
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I think you’re talking about these posts [here & here], I don’t know if there have been others.
I'm not gonna say what I did was right, you are correct I should probably just not respond to asks getting me to talk about other people. I will say for these two posts those people had already blocked me I’m pretty sure, so it’s kinda hard to talk directly to them in that case. And I was not doing so anonymously and had not blocked them so I wasn’t hiding what I was saying. I did not follow them, I am not part of the innitor community, and not that that makes it right but I do think it is kinda different. Though you make a good point, perhaps we should stop this pattern of responding to asks about other blogs and such.
Still, the biggest thing to me I realized, back in elementary school when I first dealt with this, was that honestly all the time we talk about people behind their back. Talking about people when they aren’t always in the room is kinda just inevitable and part of socializing, however I think the important part is how you are talking about other people. It’s when you are insulting them, talking negatively about them to people they know, spreading false information and so on that it becomes not okay. Hopefully that makes sense.
In these cases I merely focused on the lore. I didn’t insult them or talk shit about them, as a person, as a blog or say their takes were stupid or they are stupid or speculate about their trauma or mental history. I just talked about reasons why I disagreed, or saw things differently and why we might see things differently. They were also not the only ones I saw to say similar things so I think in my mind I was making more of a general discussion, not trying to target them specifically. I didn’t post beyond that about them. But you are right, regardless it was probably not the right way to go about things.
But just to be clear, if I am a hypocrite it is not my intention. I haven’t vague blogged anyone or meant to vague reblog anyone. I think this week is pretty much the first time I’ve ever been not naming, passive aggressively talking about blogs, and even then I’m not trying to insult them, trying to cancel them. I’m just expressing that before you go off about how I’m stupid and unable to have a discussion about it, the very least you could’ve done was give me an opportunity to try.
#I’m not going to say I’ve handled everything like I should. I feel like usually I try to tag people and include context and pictures so I’m#not trying to be passive aggressive or talk about people behind their back.#I’m not hiding. I haven’t even used the Tommy neg tag and I feel like I always leave things open and - here is my opinion it is not the onl#one or maybe even the right one or - here are my thoughts at the moment of 1am or here is the lore…#I made my alt name and image very clearly still me. I’m not trying to be sneaky or backhanded or insult You for an opinion or call You dumb#and if I have insulted or hurt someone I’m genuinely sorry and didn’t mean to. Something I try to reiterate#as my tone can come across as aggressive#crumbs#hello there#but see how we can have a discussion of -hey flora maybe you shouldn’t be talking about other people without tagging them or going directly#to them and I can be like - yea you have a good point. your right that’s not being respectful to them.#clarifications#thats what I'm really asking for. the respect to see if I am going to be as bad as you assume. give me the benefit of the doubt#I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know all the internet etiquette or slang. this is my first time participating in a fandom#my first time on tumblr. on ao3. the first time I've gotten actual like interactions on things beside like graduation pics#not to plead ignorance as innocence#but I know I don't know everything & am not claiming to thats why I try to leave safe space for people to come respectfully to me#after feeling aggressive backlash and seeing it happen I have since tried to make sure I try to respect other people's opinions#now that doesnt mean that if you just leave an anon in my inbox Im going to respond to it if I have already talked about it.#- okay you disagree. I stated my opinion you've stated yours and if there is no further point to discuss then I might not respond#though I did make this blog to perhaps respond more to things like that since you did take the time to say it the least I can do it respond#(and I cant just send you a direct message if you go anon <3)#uh... anyways didn't mean to leave an essay here oops... hope im making sense to someone :)
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i played the remastered alan wake a while back and am replaying the original on steam, and, honestly, they’re so similar, I couldn’t tell which is which if you held up comparisons. ive come across reviews about the game looking outdated and bad (mostly compared to other releases in that time), but the original looks great and I like the hazy dark lighting for both this and awan
#might delete#I can’t wait to run into all the product placements#like yeah I know it’s not. top graphics of that year. but I’ve stopped and looked at the environment So many times. it’s pretty!#this is because im biased but I *loved* AWANs choice of scenery. although I wish it was as detailed and expansive as the original games#all of remedy’s games do pretty great in terms of the environment. ignore controls terrible map and the Oldest House is an incredible space#to navigate just by following signs and all the little details. the atmosphere!#don’t even need to explain how aw2 is good with that#but even Max Payne 1 has this beautiful eerie quality where everything is this fever dream of grungy or old environments#even before the literal nightmare sequence it felt like navigating a dream of this Not New York City. like of course it’s likely born from#the limitations the developers had when making it. but the emptiness and placement of npcs added to the experience#QB so far is my least favorite in its style and environment but it’s still had some good moments. the use of flashbacks + time overlapping#onto abandoned and destroyed environments was genius. the college campus itself and the train(?) cargo(?) area was neat to go through#there’s some really good stuff there! *im also. not done with QB so im still hoping things get more wild!!#im honestly more forgiving of QB as a whole and find it interesting since it went through a lot of hell in its development#this might seem negative but it’s not! it’s a shockingly beautiful game. graphics exceed expectations#the style and some locations is where it’s more boring for me. but still good. im so tempted to buy it on steam to finally finish it#endless apologies if u opened this and ur entire page opened up an essays worth of tags
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The Circus is such a bad episode don't @ me
#⛦ ⥗ 𝐎𝐎𝐂 // ❝That odd space between heaven and hell❞#negativity tw#paimon is literally the only good thing about it#everything else is so....fanfictiony#and not in a good way
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Not to be that person but Panem had nearly 75 full Hunger Games before their system of government was overthrown. 75(+?) years. But things changed in the end. This too shall pass (but not without active participation)
#the hunger games#usa politics#honestly this is such a bad way to conceptualize it in the real world. but maybe this’ll help frame things a little differently?#I hope what I’m trying to get at comes across#I definitely needed the day (still had to work but I mean mentally)#I’ve been keeping up with everything—I personally have been keeping up with things politically for years so that’s just my standard.#but I’ve been an observer today#politics#I’m tagging politics mostly just so others can avoid it if they want—I didn’t want this side blog to be a main source of my politics#but I thought this was fitting#2024 presidential election#i’m tired.#i’m so tired yall#please keep doing what you’re doing or arguably more *if you can do so sustainably#I’ve seen a lot of people expressing that this is the time to process and feel all the feelings#and then we’ll organize/evaluate our situation ‘tomorrow.’#I personally would recommend looking into the policies Trump is explicitly supporting (and other possibilities) WHEN you’re in a good space#and then going from there#I’m not advocating for panic or rash decisions#but like I do literally want people to make informed choices in the face of things like this—like getting involved with organizations#etc#here’s my rant#(pleaseeeeeee let this not get too much negative attention)
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#having a creative rut feeling#gonna rant#im basically a giant baby and i don't handle angst very well#and i constantly worry that im just. idk mentally weak or a deeply uninteresting person bc of it.#every big fantasy artist i see is usually very into making sad or angsty pieces and like i wish i was like that#like i fall into this mental hole very very often that im just holding myself back with how many subjects i dont write or draw#but also like when i DO write dark subjects it doesn't make me feel any better??#i dont like feeling sad or angry bc once i am its extremely hard to get back out of it.#and thats scary for me.#but also i want to make art that means something instead of my nonestop slew of smut and feelgood content.#i genuinely feel so trapped by my own emotions and its sp frustrating.#i keep getting told how good for you it is to get the negative feelings out but it never helps when i do it#i just feel. worse? i dont feel good.#i kinda wanna delete the one cloud post bc it just doesn't feel good.#ugh#idk i want to have good intelligent things to say and thoughtful art to make#and everything i make feels soft and cheesey and lame.#not that i find those things lame#but just that it feels like im stuck in baby brain.#when i was a teen i would write horror stories!!! i still love horror!!!#but if i make someone suffer in fic now it feels me with this awful awful overwhelming sense of dread and guilt and i end up so upset#im frustrated at me bc this is such a fucking weird sensitivity to have. im tried of telling myself its okay#bc i WANT to feel mentally free enough to create shit that isnt just uwu soft.#i don't think im making sense but like.#you know#I've literally been bullied out of fandom spaces for only making soft content#multiple times.#so idk maybe this is a learned sense of shame#but i feel like a big over sensitive baby and like I'd be able to do so much more if i wasn't#vent ish
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I mean this vent completely neutrally and as an observation rather than Woe is Me negativity but going ham in my sketchbook has been Fun but along with not really Learning anything (tho historically no art knowledge ever sticks to my brain) I'm no closer to understanding how I WANT to draw! if that makes sense.
I dont really identify with or want to continue any of the patterns I try (nor do they get any more muscle memory-y, in the fundamentals area).
Its fine as long as its Fun but I really feel the aimlessness. Like I'll keep going but I've also. Been doing that. All I do is Keep Going, when does it all tetris together!
#continuation of this is like. idk how to trust my eyes if im being honest! and im understanding rules but not how to break em#like how i understand that in realistic proportions theres as much space above the eyes than below them on a face#but obviously people draw characters with shorter foreheads/skulls all the time#ive done it too. but it looks Wrong when i do it on purpose. i feel everything i try to do looks unintentionally wrong#idk how to get to the intentional part or what i even want that to look like!#the permanent issue of not knowing what i want it to look like i just know i dont want it to look like this#which is bad bc you shouldnt qualify things by the negatives like that....wagh#im no good at making things from scratch i wish someone wld just draw in my ideal art style already so i cld study it#(jork)#technically i cld do this with urasawa bc like i said thats a dream style right there ill just infuse it with mine#but it Feels wrong#and i know u dont need to have 1 art style forever but i draw one way and forget all the previous ways ive ever drawn#i rly dont understand! i wish we cld share brains with each other so i cld gain understanding of what to do next ykwim#bc ill always keep going i just worry im never going to Get it#that there will always be that bizarre and extreme disconnect between eye and mind and hand#talkys
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i think i exist solely to be misinterpreted i dont know how to actually reach anyone my existence is just people looking at me and & rolling dice 2 see if theyll misinterpret me in a good or bad way && it is almost always bad
#people thinking im rude when i dont even know whats going on im just Standing Here or saying smthn w positive meaning but they dont see it#i have never in my life met anyone irl who doesnt instantly dislike me. and i MEAN that. i am so hateable my existence hits the switch#i dont. do anything i dont have any malice in me at all i try 2 be polite as hard as i can just because thats my default. thats me#i think thats where my ed comes in so hard. its always like well if u just get small enough people will like you. itll give u the chance.#im too big im too much of a nuisance i take up too much space im always in the way i need to be as small and likable as i can or everyone#will always hate me. theyll always despise me and im the reason im the one ruining it#ive only ever had like 2 actual friends (online) they looked at me n went yeah ur cool im gonna see the things u do as endearing & positive#even the one friend i have now constantly thinks im doing things negatively n scolds me for it. .... n man it feels Bad#even my therapist does it#i still think about my first therapist asking me if i think anyone can understand what im saying#maybe they cant#it makes me feel so lost o(-<#do i even exist if i cant reach anyone#i feel like tumblr is the only place i hav where ppl understand me#but maybe thats just because ive gathered a lil community of ppl who see me in a positive light#n thus the things i say r good instead of bad#maybe i dont make any sense and im the only one who cant see it#my bf is the only one ive ever felt actually understands me n i understand them n that does mean the world 2 me#but man. in everything else i am so lost#i am so inhuman and it is obvious#it feels like everyone else is on a different floor level & building than me an im just looking through the window#and theyre deciding whether im a creep or someone gazing out 2 enjoy the day
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wheres that post about how its hard to have like a fucking depression spiral or whatever while knitting bc lemme tell u im sitting here fighting back tears while actively crocheting and its not fucking working
#toy txt post#depression spiral self worth spiral the world sucks and everything is bad and stupid spiral#whatever you want to call it. im fucking miserable and my eyes keep watering and making it kinda hard to see the fucking stitches#guess thatd be less of an issue if i was doing a standard moss stitch instead if a modified variant w half doubles and working into the#stitch under the space instead of in the chain space which is a little more annoying and fiddly to find than the chain space#whatever. its all the same stupid fucking shit anyway. whatever whatever whatever whatever#nothing matters everything is stupid and sucks and whats the fucking point! god#and then dad will just get home and sternly scold me for not looking for a job anyway#as if i could currently fucking handle being asked what my fucking strengths are or whatever#and i bet fucking period is not fucking helping cos hormone fluctuations do weird shit to emotions i fucking guess. whatever#i feel like my head is going to explode#'just let yourself cry let it out!' no. its fucking inconvenient and doesnt even release all the stupid fucking feelings it just leaves me#exhausted and wasting a bunch of fucking tissues. whatever#im a stupid lazy bitch whatever and im Not. but i am#what does it matter#i cant even deal with the fucking ants in my bedroom im just hiding from them in my brothers empty room#i washed all my bedding but havent remade the bed bc im like oh i should wait for the ants to be gone#cant do anything. cant do fucking anything at all ever#i should get out of the house and touch grass and that would be good for me but like. where#i shouldnt even leave the house bc im not insured and what if i get into a car crash? i hate everything#negative#whining
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things i wish everyone a very shut the fuck up about in other tags this new year:
- barbie/oppenheimer
- the magnus archives
#not tagging this with anything in order to adhere to my own principles#space taker upper tag so people dont have to read any of my ranting... bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb#ok thatll do#but seriously i am so fucking sick of going into a podcast tag and all i can find are either completely generic posts the op has tagged#with every podcast under the sun OR jokes/polls involving t*m*a because ofc it's still popular enough to overshadow all the posts im#actually interested in seeing#like you dont have to compare everything to this we get it you listened to two (2) podcasts. just leave it alone#it's exactly the same with barb*nhe*m*r but what really pissed me off with that one was seeing it in the godzilla tag last week. THIS IS NOT#ABOUT YOU 'ooooouhh one movie is serious and the other has pink in it this is just like-' GET A DIFFERENT HOBBY.#honestly there was so much hype i was sick of it before the movies even released but it's still all over the place like i dont even care#if theyre any good or not just keep your shit in your own fucking tags it's not hard#UGHHHH whatever.#once again just so it's clear im censoring the titles in the tags so this post wont show up there it wouldnt change anything if it did and#im not interested in spreading negativity/getting people mad at me for nothing#original
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:/
#idk im just tired of everything feeling like a group i was never meant to join#im tired of being unwelcome in every space i reside#im tired of seeing so much misery#im tired of the constant negativity and fighting#idk im sorry that im not a good friend
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hmm i like actually wanna kms
#big oof 🥴#if i try to talk im dramatic and emotional and only met with judgement ....#if i try to push it all down and pretend everythings fine i feel like im slowly dying#if i try to ask for help ppl only slap my hand away and dismiss me#if i complain im a negative pos who everyone hates#if i stfu and dont talk i feel miserable and like i have this big lump in my throat and i cant breathe#im never right or ok or valid or anything. im always wrong.....#im sad and lonely bc all i want is for someone to really truly love me and hold me#but truth is nobody cares that much if i would actually kms#but then im pathetic and whiny for crying in pain since i feel so alone and worthless#like honestlyyyy u can never win in life and esp if you're mentally ill and disordered and traumatized#and also just extremely sensitive even if u could choose u would choose to feel nothing#but ppl always complain no matter what i do :// im always doing smth wrong smth bad#like i didnt ask for everything that happened to me to happend and i didnt ask for it to shape me#and i dont want this or be like this bc my life is nothing but a miserable worthless waste of space#but im trying but im all alone in a dark hole like 12ft underground#and people who might see me wont do anything to help or just walk on their merry way#they will take a shovel and shovel even more dirt on top of me and make it even harder for me to crawl out of this hole#and like idek what im talking abt but this world is insane and people are fucking insane#and all everyone has is judgement and cruelness and calousness and like#ppl are just mean and they get personally attacked and angry if you dont live according to their standards and views and idk#ppl are insane and i feel so alone and im lying here knowing that my life is absolutely nothing#and im tired and i just wanna not exist. but really all i want is for someone to look me in the eyes and tell me i matter bc ive never#wanted to be saved. i've only ever wanted to be seen and known and like idfk.... i just dont#feel good but as always... i have to lie here alone and try not to kms bc i dont have anyone to ask to just talk to me for a little moment#like i cant even imagine... asking someone like hey i wanna kms pls talk to me for a moment#and have them reply immediately and idk i wouldnt even need long just like 10 minutes.#sigh idek what im rambling on abt im just so sick and tired and exhausted and i dont wanna die not really#but im so exhausted bc i have to carry this pain every day and people are so fucking awful but i dont wanna be alone and i just dont know
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Almost forgot this hsdljfd but got tagged by @exotic-inquiry for WIP Whenever! Or WIP wednesday now cos i'm late lmao
but ye, got some updates on that school project (the finished ones are wips too technically cos they're supposed to get animated later (also the project itself is a wip so it counts either way in my book lol)) >:]
tagging @iijadraws, @brainworm-terrarium, @a-drama-addict, @elfrootsalad, @creativegoblin, @exotic-inquiry (cos it's been a bit xD) (as always without pressure ofc! <3), and anyone else who has anything they wanna show! ovo
#wip wednesday#my art#idr which ones i had done/posted the last time so im sorry if some are repeat ones x'D#dont have many animations ready yet cos the priority for now is getting the main images done#and then animation priority is endings -> loop points -> everything else#some of these are gonna be such a pain...#but working with this style is SO much fun#and v good practice for figuring out shapes and negative space#theyre supposed to look a bit messy and ambiguous on purpose btw#theyre supposed to make more sense as the player gains more story context#(which is also why some are more clean/detailed than others)#also sorry the canvas resolution is tiny and i couldnt be bothered to scale them up </3
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Thought I'd do something new, even if it's just for a little bit. Hello!
(Adult, they/he, happy to try out other nouns but not confident with neopronouns (/grammar and habit issues). Would like to mind my business a little more than shove my nose into other people's.)
#my post#this is mostly just me figuring out what I wanna do with myself and what I like or not.#i wanna keep my negativity separate this time around. this space is gonna be for everything else.#at the end of the day I'm still accountable for my actions but i wanna make good decisions so I'm gonna figure that out.
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#this website has been really draining lately#every attempt at getting some escapism or simply having a good time is immediately ruined every time#I used to be able to come to tumblr and feel a bit better after browsing or posting and interacting#now half my dash is terms I blocked bc they make me feel worse about the world‚ myself and absolutely everything#which never used to be so bad on tumblr no matter how shit the world was I could come here and see ppl still express joy and do so myself#now it's a genuine surprise if I get to spend 15 minutes here and still get that same feeling#which still happens sometimes but most of the time.. tumblr culture has turned into the same thing that turned me away from other platforms#not to mention the absolute shit I sometimes get on my space sideblog that I made bc it brings me joy to talk about these topics#negativity
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